Ep 169: Live From Dallas: Kyle Is Not Doing Well

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to This is important a production of iHeartRadio, the
show where we only talk about what's the most important,
bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet today.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
This is important. I don't want to take a sip
of ass juice, dude, I'm gonna go get a fucking
towel or something. Honey, Maybe just go take your morning poopoo.
You'll be fine. I have a kookie dick and Kyle's
just juicy. Buckle up.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
I wanted to feel like a fucking Pantera concert in here.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
What does that mean because I don't know.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Probably just like maybe some dudes will show us their tits.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah, so much.

Speaker 4 (01:01):
It's finally Hey whoa, Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
My god, Isaac. We wishes for you. We wish you
Jnster nipples. The boats are huge. Look at the crossroads
and most sage guys, I thank you, multi get to
Coming were a little like coming out.

Speaker 5 (01:27):
We were in an argument with management because we did
have a lot of buzzballs to throw out in the crowd.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
We were told we couldn't. We were told we could
not throw them out.

Speaker 5 (01:40):
Yeah yeah, hey, and that's you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
That's you guys booing the management. That is not us.
That is not us.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Although it was knockdown drag out, it was not down
drag out.

Speaker 5 (01:53):
But we respect the management and it's up to you
guys to boost head management.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
Because we because we wouldn't do that.

Speaker 5 (02:01):
We would I wouldn't do that, would you? Because I
am respectful of where we perform. And they also cut
the checks.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Yes, yes, but also if you got to cut the ship.

Speaker 5 (02:12):
But also if you guys were to say, fuck you,
we want the buzz balls what.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Saying it? And I don't. I'm not saying I agree
with it.

Speaker 6 (02:25):
Or not.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Balls balls bus And honestly, we can't do anything about
We don't mean to raw you guys, uh, but we
can't do.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
What I do love though, is that Hopefully next time
Pantera performs, they're like, hey, man, we want to see
you guys react like it's I I.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Show and start saying, yeah, I don't think they're performing
a lot lately already. Hey maybe tonight.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
Oh fud what that that's just your computer though, Yeah,
that's just your computer.

Speaker 7 (03:08):
Yeah, but yo, this is cowboy. Come on now, we'll
turn it up in the monitor so I can fu
the hair.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Turn it up the monitors, let swet the hair back
and forth. Oh dad, we got the bangers. We got
the bankers, we got the bangers. We got a banger.
Hell yeah, you got.

Speaker 7 (03:29):
The real banger.

Speaker 8 (03:32):
Oh dude, yep, yeah, the dad at the concert who's like,
your neck's gonna hurt in the morning.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
So you know, if we we can be traffic if
we go now, yeah, there's like I just broke just
from that, I broke a sweat.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah, there was actually sweating a lot from that. Dude.

Speaker 5 (03:50):
I'm pretty up close and I'm seeing some titty.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
Sweats under tilly sweat. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (03:54):
Oh bs, No, dude, you're you're I can tell it's
not coming through the shirt, but I.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Know those titties are well yeah, well I just said
it was no, I will one have a bangover tomorrow.
What is a bangover? A bangover? Like that doesn't know
what a bangover is. I think a lot of.

Speaker 5 (04:13):
People are saying it, but they're like yeah, and then
now they're they're deducing.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
It's like you have your head banging and and it's
your hangover, but no, really, finger finger banging.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
It is no, no, no, no, no, it is it's
from head banging. And then the next morning you're like
you cannot move your.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Neck, right, dude? Do you remember you've had a lot
of bangovers?

Speaker 5 (04:34):
I remember finger banging bang Okay, now it's on the
podcast Forever a Wangover.

Speaker 2 (04:41):
I remember the first bangover we had. It was after
Wait We Me and you remember you Want It? You tell?
It was when Andrew w K album came out.

Speaker 5 (04:52):
Okay, So you're not saying your finger bang like in
the asshole.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
I'm not saying that I didn't.

Speaker 7 (04:57):
I'm just saying that Andrew dum the K was out
and it was on repeat.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
I was still schwitzing broy. Hey, what a grab? So
who else is? Pantera? Obviously is from Dallas? Who else
is from Dallas? You heard it her first?

Speaker 9 (05:16):
No, Macklemore is from Seattle.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
We covered that, Yeah you got Hey. By the way,
post she's staying posty. Yeah. Oh post Malone?

Speaker 5 (05:28):
All right, that's right yo, I will say that. By
the way, I love post Malone. I think he's cool.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
People stop.

Speaker 5 (05:35):
I've had people stop me at restaurants and be like, hey,
do you know post Malone? And I go, no, why
would I know post Malone? And they go just figuring
maybe you might run in the same circles.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah, you do run.

Speaker 5 (05:48):
You run in a lot of circles, and I'm like, no,
I don't run in post malone circle.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
I'm not that fucking cool. I don't have tattoos on
my eyeballs. No, it's always tired, Yeah, I always. I'm
actually not tired that often.

Speaker 5 (05:59):
I'm on a lot of uppers most of the time,
right right, right, yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
Very caffeinated. Always. I'm zipping always.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
Your tattoos are on your eyelids, and it says, just
tap me, awake, please tap me.

Speaker 5 (06:14):
No, it's it's on my eyelands because you never see
them exactly.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
I'm so hot, Kyle. Yeah, Kyle, take take your shirt off.
If you're really hot, what the hell are you doing?

Speaker 10 (06:25):
You're fucking disaster, my guy.

Speaker 7 (06:33):
I just feel like, I just feel like I need
to get cozy real quick because I'm hot as fuck.
Like a little bit of head banging fucked me up, dude,
what the fuck is happening to me?

Speaker 2 (06:44):
And this is why I love Kyle. This is why,
this is why I love Kyle.

Speaker 5 (06:48):
Uh more than you guys, because okay, because Kyle is
out of shape still, man, you're still shape, but you're
the most in shape i've seen you in years. Take
it comfort, bull, but you're not afraid to just like
let it all flop out, dude.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yeah, yeah, I love it.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
By the way, this this person right here just they
heard you slap the belly and they crane their neck
over that speaker to be like, what's going on there?

Speaker 5 (07:18):
I have to, hey, take a little walk about, show
the crowd get on.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
You want me to do that?

Speaker 8 (07:23):
People in the front, and please don't show them you're back.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
Don't know how I feel about it. I'm sounding taken
over here. Made me show the tattoos. Oh yeah, check
it out up.

Speaker 5 (07:45):
So Kyle talking about this on the podcast before. But
Kyle at one point goes, I'm gonna write all the
things that are important to me and put them, write
a bunch of sentences, put them, jumble them up, and
put them on my back.

Speaker 9 (08:00):
We're all like, that's a dumb tattoo.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
I heard I heard a great idea which he said dumb.
I heard Grant it seems dumb.

Speaker 5 (08:06):
And then when that comes out of my mouth that
means great for Kyle.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
Because it's confusing.

Speaker 5 (08:10):
Yeah, and then you got it all tattooed on you
and I'm like, well, what are the sentences, and then
you go, I don't remember.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah that was the book.

Speaker 7 (08:18):
That's the most bummer thing about this tattoo is I
didn't keep the piece of paper with the sentences.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
And there's and there's it says hummus. Yeah, there's a word.
It says hummus on his back. Well, hummus.

Speaker 7 (08:32):
I got hummus because it's got I got humans on
the back.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
There's there was a sentence that I wrote. There was
about human Let me read some of these words. There's
a there's a Kyle, what's up, bro? Why you stick
your finger in my ear? Bro? Let me get in here?
What do you do? Let me get in here. I
gotta see it all. I gotta see it all. Do
you feel a hot? I am? You're fucking scorched. I
think I might be sick or something. I don't know
if I agree. Quick movie.

Speaker 5 (08:56):
So it says friends, he said I always wizard.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
Regret.

Speaker 5 (09:03):
Regret is bolded and underlined.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
Right, dude, he has cry written on him.

Speaker 5 (09:14):
Yeah, Kryle, he got family, Kyle.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
It says Kyle. I think I just said that. That's bullshit.

Speaker 5 (09:23):
Family it to me. The mom women beer past essential
die with an exclamation point.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
Humans. See that's the humans. So the humans. You're at
the humans right now? What does it look like? Wait?
Wait no, I said humans, it's hummus, dude.

Speaker 7 (09:48):
Yeah, but there's another one that says humans that looks
like a hummus, and.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
That's humans is over here. So that's why I got
the hummus.

Speaker 7 (09:56):
Because everybody still it's like, you got hummus tattooed on
your back. I'm like, no, that says humans, you dumb ass.
Hummus is over here, and it.

Speaker 5 (10:04):
Seems like you got a better tattoo artist to write hummus.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
I did that was I didn't do it?

Speaker 5 (10:12):
Well?

Speaker 2 (10:12):
You were with me because it's been two sittings. The
second one, why did your shoes come off? I'm hot, dude,
I gotta take off my socks. I haven't done that yet.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
And by the way, there's also like you can't see
it in the back, a couple of flies.

Speaker 7 (10:25):
Bro, something happened, something was triggered. I'm so I apologized.
It's early apology for.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
This, he wrote.

Speaker 5 (10:32):
He tattooed n w O on his body.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
Give me some, give me some sweets out there.

Speaker 5 (10:39):
Come on, he wrote, confuses a weird one insane.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
That's a good one. Jillian. Well, that's I got Jillian.
I got Jillian in the same sitting as hummus a
right to be fair.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
You thought you thought Jillian was an amount of money
that you were gonna I'm gonna chill.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
Thank you, sir, Thank you, sir.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Hey, would you guys if we made a T shirt
that had just that screenprinted on the back, would you
buy that?

Speaker 2 (11:19):
That's kind of tight? Okay, Well, I'm gonna tell our
manager to take care of it and.

Speaker 5 (11:23):
You'll never see it, and then we'll never be able
to see that.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yes, He'll just do that. Do you think you'll ever
add to it? Carl maybe? Are you okay? I'm tripping dude.
If you die tonight.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
And we're just laughing as you are in cardiac arrests,
that's hilarious.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
It is. This is the funniest way to go.

Speaker 5 (11:40):
That will be the funniest way to go is you
come on stage you sweat so profusely that you have
to take your shirt off in front of like two
thousand people and one sock.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, yeah, just waiting for the other one.

Speaker 7 (11:52):
I'm hoping I'm cooling down after I take down one
but yeah, but I will say you you're really Let's
let's move on to something else for as little, for
literally as let's just as zero muscle masses do you
get as that you have.

Speaker 5 (12:09):
Pretend like I'm not here water trash for the amount
of muscle mass you don't have. You look great, and
I know that you recently lost like fifty pounds.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
Dude, there is a bigger gahage band. That's a lot.

Speaker 10 (12:21):
It's science.

Speaker 5 (12:22):
Yeah, so that that skin is drooping in weird and
funky ways, but it's because he just lost to fifty,
you know.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
And it's gonna settle. Yeah, it's gonna settle. And he
looks great. Dude. I'm gonna go get a fucking towel
or something?

Speaker 1 (12:35):
Is it?

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Can you bring me like a towel or a T
shirt or a ball?

Speaker 5 (12:39):
Please take your shirt off and give it to Kyle
and have him discrub his body.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah something, man, This is the way, dude.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
Are we allowed to talk about what happened to me
in my hotel room today?

Speaker 2 (12:52):
I don't think I know what happened that what happens.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
So you know, we're we're on a tour, we're staying
in hotel rooms. That's what we're doing because we're not
no was letting us sleep on their couches.

Speaker 5 (13:01):
What the full that is fucked up at the guys. Yeah,
since we want to stay at your house and on.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
Your right I'm not going to ruin that. I'm not
going to ruin your present, dude. So before we're sitting
in front and center, they want your musk. Oh you
want me to do it and then you get it back. Yeah,
that's funny. Gross, They're gonna give it to you later.
Oh yeah. Oh it's a shirt that says big check hand,
check hands.

Speaker 5 (13:27):
So if people don't know, this is where Kyle one
time when he tried to fight me and and lost,
he kept saying, Uh, you're lucky I didn't hit you
with these.

Speaker 2 (13:38):
Big check hands. Dude. He was like blackout drunk. He's like, oh, I.

Speaker 5 (13:42):
Would have he like swang, but this, like the swings
were like like a cartoon like right, yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah, not a good fighter, Kyle.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
I think putting it on your back between the like
non breatheable leather sit.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
There there, Yeah, you're good. There you go, anything right
now that might help.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
Okay, So my story was that sweating before the show
as we all do. I was having a sash.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
I was freaking jay owen bro Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (14:20):
Well the thing we've learned on on tour is you
have to check if born up words in every city.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Because we were in Salt Lake City and it just
didn't work.

Speaker 5 (14:31):
The Mormons were like, not here through through us for
a loop. Okay, okay, so we're away from our loving
wives and girlfriends for.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
Hours a day.

Speaker 5 (14:46):
Yeah, wait, time to see what the internet's up to.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
And so you were okay, So you were okay.

Speaker 1 (14:57):
Then he goes to the gym and just puts his
hands on everything, going, no, this was.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
This was post gym. This is how I come down.

Speaker 5 (15:04):
Brother, That's not how you come I notice you're in
the gym together, and you left like with like a
lot of time on the clock.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
All right, Oh, I.

Speaker 5 (15:11):
Figured we kind of be here the same amount of time,
with enough time to go get showered and ready and
come down the lobby.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
And you're like, I gotta go. Good, see you I'm
gonna come.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
So so go ahead and finish your story all these people.

Speaker 3 (15:24):
It's around like five thirty, so it's like prime jo time, right.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
Sure, yeah, hell moon has just risen and that's the
honest part of the day. You got to relax, and
you know, I'm just like kind of like standing. No.
I was like the kind of like this on the bed, right,
I gotta.

Speaker 7 (15:41):
I gotta peak over the monitor series do it at
the front.

Speaker 5 (15:44):
But here's the kicker and hey, ladies down front, it's
pretty sexy.

Speaker 3 (15:49):
Here's here's where it's a word to the wise. I
was doing it with headphones off, all right, And these
are good noise canceling headphones. Oh rac Raycon shout out
to our sponsor. So I'm there and like so rage.

Speaker 5 (16:06):
These are ray J headphones, known for maybe one of
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Kim Kim k great Dick, Yes, great Dick, great tick,
known for his Let's be honest first music, known for
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Speaker 2 (16:21):
It takes two Kim fantastic, ray J, great tick. Yeah,
I got one. You were with us? Hey, thank you, Isaac?
Why rub him down? What are you doing so blake?
Let meet this envision on your back? Headphones are on.

(16:44):
But I'm kind of here. I got the Raycon noise cancelers.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
Yeah, you know, I'm kind of like with my folks, well,
I'm obviously touching myself.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yeah, how close, Blake, And how do you do that? No? No, yeah,
at what point does this become unfunny? Let's figure that.
I so one of my hands is out here, I'm
squashing my ship dog as one does this. Dude is
just like I treat my dick like a stress ball. Yeah,

(17:13):
my dick is.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
Like one of those you know those things you squeeze
him in the eyes go and the years ago.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Yeah, yeah, my dick does that. Sure, I believe that.
I believe that. Well, I noticed that is cooky.

Speaker 3 (17:27):
I definitely have the Blake stick has personality. Say, I
definitely have the kookiest dick of our friends, wouldn't you agree?

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (17:39):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
You tell me, yes, I believe it. I believe that.

Speaker 11 (17:43):
So I noticed, like, Blake's dick looks like it's seen
a ghost.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
Okay, I'll give you points for that.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
Well, I noticed that I noticed that the light like
sort of in the where the front door.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Is turned on. I'm like, oh, that's where there's like
motion lights or something. Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
Oh yeah, and then fucking the maid like popped in
and I was.

Speaker 7 (18:12):
Like, today, really today, Well you didn't sayin next to
each other, the right next to each other.

Speaker 3 (18:20):
Well, my immediate thought was like, does this happen to
my bros?

Speaker 2 (18:23):
A lot? That was your immediate thought. Yeah, yeah, right,
like covering yourself. It wasn't.

Speaker 12 (18:33):
Come back later. It was excuse this happened to my bros.
A lot he's squashing, remember he is if this just
happened to my bros. Yeah, first thought maybe would be
stop squashing.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
Yeah, it was actually like the interaction was super chill.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Actually, I imagine this is something they see.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
Oh yeah, that was my second thought. I'm like, how
often did the bros get caught? And then she must
this must happen.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
So what was it? Did she?

Speaker 5 (19:02):
Because I've had both, I've also had been in the situation.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
I've also been in this came in.

Speaker 9 (19:10):
Oh dude, maybe a half dozen play Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
During you just being in a compromising position, like but.

Speaker 5 (19:18):
Having sex and and but that was maybe one time
and six other times?

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Is me j owen? So uh, but I don't relax
in the bed.

Speaker 5 (19:28):
I'm like practicing calisthenics, so I'm trying to hang from things. Wow, No,
but no, I understand what you're saying, because sometimes they're.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
Like, oh, sorry, I'll come back later.

Speaker 9 (19:42):
And other times they're like okay, so when do you
want me to come.

Speaker 5 (19:46):
Back chilling, they're like already scrubbing and they're like, wish
I didn't have to, but.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
You noticed me start to do a Mexican accent and
bail on it. Yeah good job, bu right, Yeah you're buddy.

Speaker 5 (20:01):
I was like, I don't know, maybe and then I
was like maybe I'll just come back later.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
Maybe just come back later. Her name is Jeff just
a white boy. You went to middle school with Hey toilets?
You good bro? You need more towels? Dude? You good bro?
You done? Jay owen? Or you're gonna need one more towel? Interest? Yeah,
how about I just hit the bathroom you can continue. Yeah,

(20:27):
what's what's up with the hub? You've been away from
your wife for an hour, so I'm taking it to
the hub. It was casual, though, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
I was kind of there and then I kind of
was like, you know, like squashing, and then I was
like I kind of side eyed, and she was like, okay,
I'm gonna dip. Yeah right, and I just like and
then I I when I came out of the room,
she was doing another room, and she was kind of.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Like she was like, oh, you had like a double dubie. Yeah,
Hey about what happened in there? She like gave you
a water, like you need to hydrate?

Speaker 5 (21:01):
Right?

Speaker 2 (21:02):
You good, bro? You want the rest of this? Dude's
b lt Hey, great question, real talk.

Speaker 5 (21:16):
Have you ever been walking through a hotel hallway and
you see some like French fries that look pretty untouched
and you're like, let me get one I have until
I've heard your answers. Hey, hey, shut up, it's not
about you. I'm asking my boys.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Uh No, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Dude, dog, because I know that these are usually like
a midnight to later night order for me, and then
they sit in my room.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
For eight hours before I put them out.

Speaker 5 (21:51):
Oh see, I don't I get I'm like, let's get
the stink out of here.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
I like to It gives you good dreams, though, do
you when you have food smells in your bed?

Speaker 1 (21:59):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (22:00):
I find that good dreams when food smells up?

Speaker 2 (22:02):
You didn't know? Oh yeah, that's.

Speaker 5 (22:03):
Disgusted discussing strangers?

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Have you not? Have you never done that? Blake? What's
you calling? Right? That's your name? Is it Black? Jake
and no, I have never done that. Neither bullshit. I'm
just bullshit on you. This guy is sneaking fries.

Speaker 5 (22:26):
I'm just saying you guys answered the way you answered,
and I answered the way I answered.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah, I'm starving. No, but I have eaten a full
b l T.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Sure if you see the little like toothpick still in it, good.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
To go, I'm saying, okay, just to COVID started with me,
I'm the wuhan bat.

Speaker 2 (22:50):
Your patient zero. Yeah, I love that. Okay, but you
are hello wet like a what like a market, like
like a wet wet Kyle's wet. I'm wet. I'll go over.
I'm almost I'm almost like regulated.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
I have a kookie dick and Kyle's just juicy.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
My dick is juicy. No, just your body is bro you.

Speaker 7 (23:15):
I thought you said you have a kookie dick and okay.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
An impression of one of my first stand up bits.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
Yes, Adam, Adam, do you want to do your bid
or I don't even remember the bit?

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Fully you do it? Can you do my all? Right?
Yes you could do it? Can I have a.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
Microphone or you'd be like, okay, okay, everybody see like uh.

Speaker 5 (23:46):
But like Blake hey, but also hey, dude, you're you're
me and also command the stage a little better.

Speaker 3 (23:52):
Look I'm you Okay, this is cool.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
You look like a skater. Big touch my dick when
I did stand up about it? Actually, Adam, you do
you always have. I don't know, it's a nervous tick more.

Speaker 5 (24:09):
Adam's like, no, dude, if anything, I'm like, I'm like,
this is something.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
Impression of himself is so good.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
Impression Yeah, okay, if anything. That's how many you know
how Adam walks to stage from over there?

Speaker 1 (24:29):
It's like this, He was like this, this is Adam.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
Sage.

Speaker 7 (24:36):
Ready yeah, ready, here comes Adam Covid on stage.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
That's true. That is true. Actual, that guys, true, that
is true.

Speaker 5 (24:50):
That guy seems pretty fun. I'd party with that Gunyah.
Now I know why your body is falling apart. I
am hurting lot of things shifted and popped on doing
those twinkle toes.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
I just did.

Speaker 9 (25:03):
My hip just fell out of joint, right.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
My hip flopped out? Okay, okay, so girls, all right.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
So how many you have noticed these girls wearing these
pants with juicy written across there?

Speaker 2 (25:20):
But yeah, right here, bro, right, I've I have, I have.

Speaker 5 (25:25):
By the way, this is two thousand and four, so
this is this is a while ago.

Speaker 3 (25:29):
But yeah, their ass is juicy.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
Way you look at the corona, you go, damn, that
ass has a lot of juice in it. Did you
say that? Yeah? I think so. Do you say that? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (25:42):
You're like, I see that girl's ass, and I want
to take a sip of.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Some trump a cannot It was the opposite. You don't
want your ass to be filled with juice. I don't
look at.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
You don't look at someone's ass and think I want
to take a sip of it.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
That's a pretty good Which is weird because I feel
like when you look at us, you do want to
take a sip. I don't want to take a sip
of the ass. That's the whole points.

Speaker 7 (26:07):
You don't want to take a sip of As he said,
I think that's the whole point.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
This is his premise. That was my premise.

Speaker 5 (26:14):
Yeah, my premise was you who has who drinks juice
from an You don't look at a dick and go girthy, girthy.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
That's that's the first part.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
Yeah, yeah, but then memory you go back, who takes
a sip of ass juice and you go, ugh pulpy.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
Right, that always got me. It's a really good joke.

Speaker 5 (26:33):
Sorry, I didn't do it great, and I also wish
I kind of remembered it, but I've smoked those brain
cells away good.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
I did it really bad, and I apologie, and that
will be my take back later.

Speaker 5 (26:42):
I did that joke on Life at Gotham, which was
a Comedy Central standard special for new new faces in
the early aughts.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
And for you guys in the audience, Comedy Central used
to be this channel. Hot hot. Hot channels were a
thing on a thing called television. Have any of you
seen the show Workaholics before?

Speaker 5 (27:05):
So it was on one of these old timy channels, dude,
it was on one of these old timy channels.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
Stude.

Speaker 9 (27:11):
I forget.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
I forget. Someone was talking about a show.

Speaker 5 (27:14):
And it's when I was shooting Gemstones last season, before
the striking all the bullshit and.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Gemstones, and I was hanging out with all the like little.

Speaker 5 (27:23):
Young pas and these kids were like talking about some
show and I go, what channel is it on?

Speaker 2 (27:29):
And they go, what channel? Your oldest fuck dude? And
I'm like what and they go channel.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
Dude, channels are for fucking freight boats and ship shut up.

Speaker 5 (27:46):
And I was like so offended that I but real talk,
I guess I'm just oldest ship. Now was my birthday
last week? It was oldest ship?

Speaker 2 (27:57):
Yes, this is hey, everybody be burnt.

Speaker 6 (28:03):
Yeah yeah, and realistically, dude, this is a vodka red bull.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Oh what the fuck? What now? Go right? Go right
in the juicy bit? Yeah, come down? What you said? Wow,
Adam's about to Are you cross eyed? Mate? A little bit?

(28:41):
I'm like, legit, worried your heart.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
Adam has this look in his eyes I've never seen
before look at him, and.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
That's when he starts to sweat. So I tell it's no,
I feel great.

Speaker 5 (28:52):
And what's great about me is if you just drink
what's good about me you and my heart? If you
drink red bulls continuously and never stop, a lot of
people in their forties slowed down with those, right. I
never did, so, so I think my heart is built
for speed and I'm gonna live forever.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Like literally, He's That's how I feel.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
By the way, how does how does everybody feel about
Adam's mustache?

Speaker 5 (29:20):
Cuz well, see if you notice I get in a lot,
thank you, and also killer stash. I'm getting a lot
of applause from the first few rows, and then.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Up top people are like, what mustach? Right? Right? Right?
Because I had some friends last night.

Speaker 5 (29:35):
We were in San Jose and and my friends were
towards the back and they were like.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
Dude, I did not know you actually had a mustache.

Speaker 5 (29:41):
That's hard to see it and it was pretty I
was pretty offended by that.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
But it is. It's coming in. It's not coming in white.
Like a lot of people are thinking.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
I'm over white, I'm over all things whitey, okay.

Speaker 5 (29:56):
Because you're your facial hair, your skin color, but everything, Yeah,
that makes.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Sense people paper lobster meat lies, Yeah, everything white lobster meat,
lobster meats.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
People call it white lobster meat. It's the white meat.
Is lobster meat, right, well, I think isn't pork though, Yeah,
blake lobster meat as well, I do.

Speaker 5 (30:19):
Well, did you come from a family of wealth that
you're eating lobster meat so often that you're you call
that the other white meat?

Speaker 2 (30:28):
My poor ass family, My poor ass family is calling
pork the other white meat. See that's what I thought too. Yeah, okay, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
My nickname in high school was the other white Meat
because there was one dude.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
Angry at some points for that. Okay, yes, well I
always This is.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
A legit question I've had for years is if you
only ate lobster meat, would you shit white?

Speaker 2 (30:57):
Wait? This is your question you've had for years when
we've never heard. He saved it for you.

Speaker 5 (31:01):
Dallas, by the way, A quick question because I don't
believe Blake. Quick question. Is it Grand Prairie or Dallas?

Speaker 2 (31:11):
What do you rep? Dallas? Up there? So is it?

Speaker 9 (31:19):
Hey, let's cheer if it's Grand Prairie, Grand.

Speaker 2 (31:24):
Prairie Okay, Dallas? Okay, Houston? Hey, is it not.

Speaker 5 (31:35):
So now that Houston didn't win, but for me, Grand
Prairie might have walked.

Speaker 2 (31:41):
Yeah, this one's not for points. We're like peased stamp. Yes, sorry,
I said it's not for points. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
So answer my question, would your ship be white? I
think I think the answer I'm going I'm gonna say
the answer is yes, if you only ate lobster me

(32:03):
and water, you know, and milk. Okay, yeah, yeah, you
have milk that's coming out white. All I'll say is
that if your ship is white. It's gonna be one
of your last ships. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (32:18):
I feel like a white walker has just touched you, right,
and you've just been touched by a Game of Thrones
white walker. And then the ship just comes down a
white icicle and you're dead.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
Honey, I'm pooping white. I think we should say all
the things we never said, Sweetheart. I just took a
big old white ship and I love you. You looked
out of the toilet and you're like, wait, where is
where is it? The fuck?

Speaker 3 (32:49):
It's like when the It's like when the predator has
the camouflage ship.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
It's exactly that. You need heat vision to see your ship.
Bring my heat vision goggles in here. She's like, oh,
are you looking at how hot your ship is? Again?
How do you This is a matter of life and death.
I need the goggles, babe. That's what I'm afraid of.
It's not hot, it's frozen. It's ice cold.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
Winter is coming, and so am I.

Speaker 5 (33:23):
I will say that, since we're on the topic of diarrhea,
which is weird for us, I will say that the
day that I had the uh rotisserie.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
String come out of my asshole, diarrhea, and you know.

Speaker 5 (33:41):
Some people listen to podcasts, and other people are fans
who workaholics, and so they don't really know. But one day,
maybe six months or so ago, I took a ship.

Speaker 9 (33:51):
In a eight inch long.

Speaker 5 (33:54):
Rotisserie chicken string came out of my asshole. Super scary
because well, and I'm like, how fast am I eating
rochestrey chickens that I don't notice that I'm meaning.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Adult chicken string? And also what's happening? What's coming out
of my body? I was like, is this in? Is
you know? You hear that there's like like Amieba's inside
of people's bodies. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (34:21):
And you see like those videos of like wildlife like
bears and they have the like what are the closes
and it's like thirteen feet long and they're just like
rummaging through trash and you're.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
Like, am I a trash eating bear? I'm getting harder
ahead and turns out, But there was a moment there
and that I was like, I'm I'm gonna die. I'm
just hyped.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
You didn't like ship out a whole ass rib cage
or some ship like.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
The chicken. Oh sure, yeah, I guess that too. I
guess I had that concern I just kept it to myself.
You didn't eat you didn't eat any bones? Right, this
wasn't as far as I know, No, he ate the bone.
Wait what commercial was it where it was like I
ate the bone?

Speaker 5 (35:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (35:11):
Is that? What was I I think it was boneless Like.

Speaker 5 (35:16):
It must have been a boneless chicken commercial.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
Well, let's take ten minutes to just talk about it.
It has to be a boneless something because the bones.
Did you guys know anybody who had a black toilet
growing up? Oh, I've had a black toilet in it?

Speaker 9 (35:28):
Okay, I get there's a lot of money here in Dallas.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
I heard a lot of like, oh.

Speaker 5 (35:32):
Yeah, for sure, either a lot of money or a
lot of your friend's parents were coke dealers.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
Because what was with that? The people who had a
bathroom with the black toilet? For sure?

Speaker 1 (35:44):
The walls were all merrors, yes, or they're all black?
Whoa either that or the mears?

Speaker 2 (35:51):
Yes? Also, I don't get. I don't why. Well, I
feel like because don't see the ship exact a lot
of sense. Yeah, you don't see like any streaks on
it or anything like that.

Speaker 5 (36:04):
There's nothing to Chloe. We just redid our bathroom. Sounds
like maybe we go all brown for this one.

Speaker 8 (36:08):
Nice, that's a good idea.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
We went with like a blue blue theme. You know.

Speaker 9 (36:17):
No, the toilet's white, but everything's blue in there.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
I think I prefer a dark bathroom. I actually prefer
to take the lights down when I ship. I don't
know that. You do, you dirt like to blindfold myself.

Speaker 5 (36:30):
Yeah, it's like a real sensual process, sensory deprivation.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
Honey, wear my nipple plants. I need to poop. Yeah,
you know that it's not gonna happen if I don't.
It's white. Hit them with the points. Yeah, you got
a point. That's just that's just having fun in talking.
You blindfold yourself when you take a ship? No, No,
I don't actually do that, but I have been. I'm

(36:57):
just saying I never if you're joking or not.

Speaker 7 (36:59):
I have been on a schedule or right when I
wake up and it's it's dope because it's still dark
out and like.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
I just turn the lights down. It's like it's just
like cool. I don't know it cares. Yeah, I don't
even know how I started talking about this.

Speaker 5 (37:15):
But also, Kyle, why are you getting up so fucking
early that you're getting up at like four am.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Dude, I pop up at like fucking five thirty.

Speaker 5 (37:24):
I don't know what that's just yea life is This
is what I have to look forward to.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
This is when the demons start coming out. Yeah, this
is this is demons.

Speaker 5 (37:31):
This is when Kyle just screams into his pillow for
fifteen minutes and shadow boxes in the corner and his
wife is like, you're.

Speaker 8 (37:38):
Good, yeah, honey, maybe just go take your morning poopo.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
You'll be fine. I already did. Thank you. Get out,
get out? Are you talking to me or the ship?
Get out? Okay? Self points, I'll take them.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
Yes, Hey, I need another freaking beer out here, Bud?

Speaker 2 (38:06):
You got your guys?

Speaker 6 (38:07):
Ever do is this?

Speaker 2 (38:08):
Do people find this move gross?

Speaker 5 (38:10):
I know a lot of girls find this move gross,
but you guys find it gross?

Speaker 2 (38:15):
Like where you take a little grease and then.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
Go like grease from your face and you like kill
Is that cool or is that gross?

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Cool?

Speaker 1 (38:23):
You?

Speaker 9 (38:23):
But hey, hey, hey, okay, is it cool.

Speaker 2 (38:30):
Or is it gross? Pretty? Even I would I would argue,
thank you, sir, it's not it's not cool. It's definitely not.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
It's just it's just fine, Like it's not cool to
bla I remember the first time I saw Mike McCoy
do it in high school.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
I was like, this is the coolest thing that you
can do. Work. Yeah, I got it. Works.

Speaker 3 (38:56):
I've never seen anyone outside of you do it. I
think it might be some like Midwest ship.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
Yeah, we did it. It was a high school thing. Like,
you have so much grease in your face. I think
Texas is trying to wrap it. Yeah, but in high
school you have so much grease in your face that
you can just just take the head off of any
But what is it doing?

Speaker 2 (39:13):
What does the bubbles start?

Speaker 5 (39:15):
So the dispating makes the bubbles dissipate faster, so you
can then pour the rest of your beer in your cup.

Speaker 7 (39:21):
Why is the grease making the bubbles go away Fastence?

Speaker 10 (39:25):
Science?

Speaker 2 (39:25):
Oh right, it is because of its sciences. Science. Yeah. Yeah,
so that I did, and a lot of people respect
a fuck we did. We didn't get into the lone
stars of them whatever.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
Oh yeah, right, is that a Texas wide beverage.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
I'm hearing I'm hearing a mess.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
I think I think they were claiming, like shiner back
a little harder.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
Okay, so then let me take back the last thirty seconds.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
I'm creaky. We didn't even know. I do love Dallas.
I always have a good time here. I was always
jealous of.

Speaker 5 (40:09):
Texas because Texas, because you just watched the movies and
you watch the TV shows and you're like, name to
it seems he's like, well, like Friday Night, like a yo, dude,
I'm I'm.

Speaker 2 (40:22):
After the show Dallas.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
Yeah, there was a guy on there named like Blake
Carrington or something bullshit.

Speaker 5 (40:30):
And was he like a sexy dude or I never
watched This was like getting all juicy just to masturbate.

Speaker 2 (40:40):
She was masturbating in a hotel room and a maid
came in and she's like, she's I'm just naming my son.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
Sorry, it's cool if you think about what you were
just saying.

Speaker 2 (40:53):
I'm just naming my son. She's just masturbating and not
pregnant or talking about my mother was named after So.

Speaker 5 (41:02):
I mean, no, I guess I want to name my
son Danny Tanner right, Like I.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
Really respect it. Your son of Dallas is what you're saying.
I'm a son of Dallas. I am an honorary son
of Dallas.

Speaker 9 (41:19):
Would always seem so much fun. To like grow up here.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
That's what I was gonna say.

Speaker 5 (41:23):
It seems like because it's just wide open space, man.

Speaker 2 (41:27):
Big space. Probably a lot of dirt bikes out there,
room right. It also not like a negative way. It
seems like suburbs.

Speaker 5 (41:36):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's definitely a pretty suburb.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
And I.

Speaker 5 (41:40):
Grew up in an Omahona brasket felt very similar. We
we we would do a lot of drinking in cornfields.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
Like a buddy of mine just post said, like we
used to go.

Speaker 5 (41:52):
He was from Miami, and it's like, yeah, we used
to drink forty ounces of mad Dog on this mad
Dog forty forty on this beat in South Beach, And
I go, oh, I did the exact same thing, but
in a shitty cornfield thirty minutes outside of Omaha.

Speaker 2 (42:08):
Did you guys do barn parties? Dude? Fuck? Yeah? That interesting?
That's so sick. What's your guys record this season? Yeah?
I just don't pay attention to shut up, I just
don't watch. But what's your guys record?

Speaker 3 (42:27):
I actually remember we I've been to Dallas before. What's
the really really really.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
Rich neighborhood in Dallas Land Park? So you remember we
were out here with Teddy.

Speaker 5 (42:40):
Anyone that has a black toilet lives.

Speaker 7 (42:42):
These these properties were fucking massive, massive, And we were
just riding bikes through the neighborhood.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
And that long ago we were drinking pearl light. Do
you guys know about pearl lights?

Speaker 2 (42:55):
And it wasn't we had the show we were doing workaholics.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
When they guys are, why are you riding bikes through
Dallars we'll look at for kids. Well, no, we were
when I kidnapped for like a few weeks a few
years ago.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
No, we were just like, let's go ride bikes through
the rich neighborhood. That'd be why were you in Dallas
to visit?

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Eddy did say that, like it's part of the tourism
board attractions.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
Okay, so through rich neighborhood.

Speaker 7 (43:23):
Remember the cool statue of the horse and I climbed
up on it and we pretending like we were riding
the statue.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
That was fun, dude, It was cool because riding bikes.
I was so I was so.

Speaker 3 (43:34):
Drunk that I was legit like throwing up as we
were riding.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
I thought that was that.

Speaker 7 (43:38):
I remember we were riding bikes, puking, riding bikes, drinking,
riding bikes, puking, riding bikes, drinking.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
You you were part of this. So this is over
ten years ago. This is yes, sober, ten years ago,
you said a couple of years ago, just a couple
a couple's ten. I'm fucking ten years no drinking. So
this is way before that, sober a couple of years.
I've been sober home ten years. Give it over, Kyle. Hey,

(44:05):
when I'm getting it, you weren't.

Speaker 5 (44:06):
Yes, Hey, let's all raise our beers up to Kyle.

Speaker 7 (44:10):
How about a toast, an alcoholic toast for stopping drinking.

Speaker 5 (44:16):
Some of us got a note when to stop, and
I haven't learned that lesson.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
Love you Love you too, man, Thank you. I'll be okay.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
So I just I'm getting you weren't like thirty seven,
You were like twenty nine or twenty eight.

Speaker 3 (44:28):
Yeah, around there are a couple of years old different.
I was a couple of years old.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
Now I get it. A couple of years together. Yeah,
we were riding bikes, were throwing up. It was cool.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
And then I realized that was the next day we
were in Texas and I probably could have got my
ass shot right.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
Yeah, well, just for riding a bike. No in Texas.
I like everybody here goes. Yeah, it's uh the worst thing.
Most part. You can ride bikes, No, not any camp,
not with that hair, that hair.

Speaker 3 (45:00):
Whoa dude, that's what I'm saying. I've seen the end
of easy Rider. Those guys get blown away for having
long hair. I got scared as hell.

Speaker 5 (45:11):
Yeah, butfuses said in Texas and they all got long hair.

Speaker 2 (45:16):
In different times they got rid of them, did Yeah, dude,
come on, lots of people in Texas have long hair. Yeah.
I saw the guy hair. I saw the guy. I
see long hair right there.

Speaker 3 (45:28):
I don't think it was so much my hair as
it was. I was throwing up in people's front yards.

Speaker 7 (45:32):
Well that was I think we were also trying to
hop fences and get into.

Speaker 5 (45:35):
Pol also trying to hop people's fences.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
Crazy legitch. We probably should.

Speaker 5 (45:41):
By the way, those are all things that you do
as children, which are very fun.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
It's cool that you did them as twenty.

Speaker 5 (45:47):
Nine year old men, right Hey, Like I said, man,
like anywhere outside of Los Angeles, twenty nine year old
men have real jobs, right, they have families, they have mortgage.

Speaker 7 (46:00):
I feel like I was wearing like an all over
print kermit the frog shirt.

Speaker 10 (46:04):
He's fucking disaster, just.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
A moving target.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
I do like the idea that you were in so
many people's sights.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
Yeah, and then they were just like not working.

Speaker 3 (46:16):
They're like, holy shit, it's the fucking one with the
long hair from the Workaholics show.

Speaker 5 (46:23):
Did you guys see the news article about that, like
seventy five year old guy that just like it was
a climate control.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
Where they laid down in a freeway? What and then.

Speaker 5 (46:32):
Climate control you know, like climate control activists like lay
down in freeways super annoying. You're like, we get it,
none of us like the fact that our world is ending,
but also I gotta get it work right, you know,
and the v it sounds pretty good, and you're like
this sucks, but also maybe don't like smash a painting
or lay down in.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
A freeway, right and all?

Speaker 5 (46:54):
He loves paintings, and it sucks that this fucking psychopath
seventy five year old guy just came out with his gun,
just murdered a bunch of people.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
What the hell just shot him?

Speaker 1 (47:03):
Probably Wait, so they were doing the protest and he
shot the protest and he just.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
Like got out of his car and was like, look
at and then it was like.

Speaker 5 (47:12):
When and where, Just like today, I think I think
I saw the news article hal It's like crystal clear.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
Photos of him shooting his gun. Okay, this is sad. Well, yeah,
I mean it is. But it's also like what you
say Panama. No, they say South Panama. Oh the place,
the place, the Van Halen song.

Speaker 5 (47:35):
Yeah, but I mean it's just it's fucking wild that
uh that this is what has come to.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
I'm just saying.

Speaker 5 (47:45):
Maybe I'm just saying, gentleman, don't lay down in freeway.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Wait right now, are you siding with the murdering. No,
I'm not.

Speaker 5 (47:58):
I don't think anybody should get murdered, but some cycle
path might murder YouTube, right, you lay down in a freeway,
a cycle path might do some cycle pass ship. Right,
this is in a like now I've learned when you're driving,
he's forty. Now every cycle those cycle paths due the

(48:18):
cycle passing all around you.

Speaker 2 (48:20):
It happened like that.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
This dude used to walk around willy nilly, no concern,
and I turned forty.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
Now won't the freeway?

Speaker 5 (48:27):
And now I'm like, maybe everyone deswitchs to die.

Speaker 2 (48:32):
I want to make it okay, so I get it.

Speaker 5 (48:36):
When when you're driving around and riding a bicycle in
Texas you might get shot.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
Dude, I'm just saying.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
Okay, I won't fucking ride a bike in Texas anymore, jesus.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
I'm just saying you, Lance Armstrong, you want that, well,
he doesn't ride a bike in Texas anymore. That's fu
By the way, let's talk about Lance for a second.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
Okay, you want to talk about what? Yeah? Hell yeah?

Speaker 1 (49:02):
Remember when no one knew about bike riding and then
he was like, I'm the best, and we thought it
was cool.

Speaker 5 (49:06):
And then he was all juiced up and you're like
and people hated it, and I was like, yeah, that's
tight though, and you're like, oh, now you give a fuck?

Speaker 2 (49:13):
Who gives a fuck? He had you go into the
post office thinking.

Speaker 13 (49:16):
You were part of a team, did he Yeah, because
he raped He wrapped the post office, the US post
Office with their jerseys, and you'd go to the post
office and you'd feel.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
Like a little cyclists. You are very much talking just
to yourself right now now. Yeah, And I feel this
is pretty mean. And I think this crowd's got some
Lance in its fans. That's what I think. That was good.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
Yes, I was unaware that he so wait he rode
for the US Postal that's the postal service.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
Yes, that's fucking cool. I want to be a mailman now. Damn.
That's that's it's crazy. Do all post men do steroids? Dude?
If you look at the calves on them, dude, for sure.
Oh massive, Next time you see your male person, look
at their calves. Yeah, they're all pretty elite there. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
Like you know, when you see some calves and you
you can tell that person lost one hundred pounds or more, yeah,
because you're like, no thin person has calves that big.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
And then you go, hey, congrats on the weight loss,
and they go, thank you, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
How did you You just go the calves and they know, let's.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
See your calves, dog my calves. You just drop fifty Maybe.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
They're you gotta be at least three bills for a
decade to get the calves.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
Oh really, yeah, there's really nothing, Grandma. Yeah that bad.
It's not bad. Not bad. Oh yeah, yeah, light look
the definition. All right, hell ya, this guy used to
be to fifty.

Speaker 8 (50:58):
I was too seventy boys, oh my god, sallying about dude.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
Yeah, well I was depressed in Toronto during COVID.

Speaker 7 (51:09):
I fucking made I ate like pretty much a steady
diet of macaroons.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
Is that what they're called? Macarons?

Speaker 7 (51:15):
Macarone the little fucking burgers that are.

Speaker 11 (51:18):
He was like, what are those cookies that look like
little cookie cheeseburgers.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
No one knows what he's talking about because you couldn't
describe it. But then when you think about it, you go, yeah,
that's they are little cheeseburgers.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
That's what macarons, macarons.

Speaker 5 (51:32):
Macaroni, macaroons, macaroni eating fried macarone, macaronis.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
You're what the fuck are they? You guys are saying
different thing macarne.

Speaker 3 (51:42):
Macaron Aren't there two things that are macarons aren't also macarons.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
They're the coconut joints. Yeah, the coconut those are macaroons.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
So there's macaroons, macarons, and macaroni.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
That's crazy and mac attack. When I go to the drive, which.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
Is bizarre, it is Macallan's I believe is some hot topics.

Speaker 2 (52:04):
Okay, yeah for sure, Yeah, we're gonna cover some news.
He's getting some news.

Speaker 5 (52:09):
So this this is the news, and I'm sorry, I
brought up that guy.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
Shooting people earlier. Yeah, I thought it was topical. That
was a little speed bump. Well you know literally, that
actually pretty good. Like if you want to be a protester,
so you might shoot your right risk. I think that's

(52:33):
the point. What just do the news like the protest.
The protest is the risk. God, yeah, and then this
fucking psychopath might shoot you. But Dallas topics. I met
even a good hand. He's probably very funny. I don't know,
you think he's funny.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
I may tell some jokes that really go there, go ahead,
Jared Leto nice?

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Yeah, why to cut out? I don't know? There he goes.

Speaker 5 (53:05):
Jared Leto climbs the Empire State Building. I saw that, dude,
Jared Leto sucks, right.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
No, nope, nope, nope, nope. Hey what no spiers club?
This guy spires club? Sorry, fuck you, Adam, straight up
fuck you. No, no, no, no no. But don't say
that about Jared Letto. Why do you like Jared Letto? Dude?
That guy sucks. He climbed the Empire State Building. That's
fucking dope. Dude. There's the biggest building here tonight and die, Okay,

(53:37):
I don't know. I just I just wait about you. Actually,
I don't know. Yeah, I don't think, I don't Why
do you think Jared Leto doesn't suck?

Speaker 5 (53:45):
Name three things you like about Jared let all of
his fucking dude Okay, okay, you're gonna regret this.

Speaker 8 (53:51):
No, no, what do you like about Jared? I like
his hair when he accepted this the Oscar No, yeah, no,
his hair was only good in panic room.

Speaker 2 (54:03):
Go ahead.

Speaker 7 (54:05):
And I just honestly I follow him on Instagram and
I just think like all of his drip videos are
really fucking cool where he just wears the dumbest clothes.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
No, oh fuck you know what? Yeah? Fuck Jared Leto?
Yeah wait yeah wait yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
This whole fucking room just swayed me.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
Dude.

Speaker 2 (54:23):
To Kyle's point, fuck Jared Leto.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
I believe in our earliest episodes, that's what we said
is we would, or I said I would.

Speaker 2 (54:30):
Fuck well, you were big into fucking Jared Letto. Early on.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
It was like, if I'm going to he's probably the guy,
and Kyle well because he looks like a woman, right, yeah,
thats right, Andy climbs buildings, what do you mean he
looks like Kyle, Hey, that's what I like it.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
No, he does it? Yeah, different, And Kyle, you're on
record as Jared Letto is the best joker as well.
You have no no no, no no no no no
no no no no, no no no. He said, say
that ship.

Speaker 3 (55:02):
Right before the show, He's like, hey, guys, before we
go on stage, I just want you to know Jared
Leto's the best shower.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Wait, fuck, I'm fucked.

Speaker 5 (55:10):
So evidently he's the first person to legally scale the
one hundred and two story Empire State Hill.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
Jared Letto, Man, he sucks, dude. So also, yeah, fuck
this guy. Yeah so also legally what a door. Honestly,
he got like permission to do it.

Speaker 5 (55:27):
I bet there's a bunch of cool ass homies and
he fucking scaled that ship, right like King Kong and ship.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
Yep, exactly, I don't.

Speaker 9 (55:35):
King Kong was like, and it was his world tour
for his banned thirty seconds.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
To I don't give but you know what we're talking about.

Speaker 5 (55:46):
It yeah yeah, and then he goes. He told NBC
Today show My Girl Hoda. He was like, I was
more excited than nervous to tell you the truth, but
I have to be honest, it was very, very hard.
It was a lot harder than I thought it would be.
And then he goes, I don't know, that's what he said.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
So he makes noises like that too. So at the
end of saying that said this, he goes, yeah, so
I guess. I guess he's a bitch. Dude, Dude, I'm
liking him more and more the more we talk about
I'm seeing Letto. He's dope, dude, He's dope. Yeah.

Speaker 9 (56:27):
And then he goes, admitted to the top.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
Yeah, dude, he's a bitch. Due all right.

Speaker 5 (56:38):
Hey, by the way, I want to say, and I
want to stand on record by saying, tared Letto to it.
And I hope I run into him someday and he
doesn't know who I am, because that's what That's what happened.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
When I ran into Adam Levine. He was like who
are you?

Speaker 9 (56:59):
And I'm like, I have beef with you, and he's like, cool,
why did you get here?

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Yea, how do you get so close to me?

Speaker 1 (57:06):
But wait to finish the relevance to that, so he
just he made it to the top of the empire.
You and your Adam Levine thing. You were like, hey, oh,
we both get messages from each other. You must get
a bunch, that's say Adam.

Speaker 5 (57:21):
Before I go, I was at a Halloween party, and
so I'm dressed as a fucking wizard, you know. And
uh yeah, so I know wizards, and they're able to
give me cool outfits, you know. And uh so I
have a sick wizard outfit because a real wizard gave
it to me. And I'm at the bar and I

(57:42):
look over and Adam Levine is there, and I go, hey, man, uh,
your name's Adam Levine.

Speaker 2 (57:47):
I'm Adam Devine.

Speaker 5 (57:48):
It's one letter of part I get mistaken for you
all the time where they're like, oh my god, Adam Levine.
Adam Devine is such an amazing singer. I'm here at
his concert tonight, and it would be a video of
your concert. And then I go, I'm sure you get
it sometime for me too, where you're like, he's so funny.
He's at a comedy show. Look at him, go and

(58:09):
then he looks at me and he goes, I've literally
never gotten that.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
He's got the mosaic Jagger. Is that a song of his? Yeah,
that's the one that was good. I didn't know. I
didn't know what what that was. That's Maroon five. Would
you rather fuck Adam Levine or Jared Letto? I guess,

(58:41):
I guess Adam Levine is a little more substantial of
a man.

Speaker 5 (58:45):
I feel like him, all right, look Jared Letto, No,
I don't want to fuck him, but him?

Speaker 2 (58:58):
Okay, well it okay, So Harry.

Speaker 5 (59:04):
Harry's Styles defides fans by debuting a new shaved head.

Speaker 2 (59:10):
Would you would you fuck Harry Styles or? Oh? Hello
sixty nine dudes? I don't know.

Speaker 9 (59:18):
I wish Blake would debut a new hairstyle.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
We're all getting sick of this one, dude, That's what
I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, and I know, I don't know,
and I know we all love what we know.

Speaker 9 (59:28):
But then he mixes it up and you all jizz
your fucking pants.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Yeah, give him see his weird ass head.

Speaker 3 (59:35):
I live by one rule, and it's friends don't let
friends get haircuts?

Speaker 1 (59:40):
Okay, well, Blake, Yeah, how come every like three weeks
to a month you allow me to do it?

Speaker 2 (59:47):
Maybe we're not friends anymore?

Speaker 1 (59:49):
Oh just kidding, yo, My best friend west frown dude,
we got to bring the guitar out one day, I
would have say the whole damn thing.

Speaker 9 (59:59):
So evidently cut his hair.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
Who gives a ship dumb as news? Yeah? I do.
Like how we're just talking about hot guys tonight.

Speaker 5 (01:00:10):
It's pretty how it takes one to know some right,
But evidently, so here's the last news article.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
Okay, wait, let's let's get it off. Let's hit it off.

Speaker 5 (01:00:19):
The one so Chicago hot dog king Portillo's inches closer
to Dallas open. We're going to get Dallas Fortillos, which
is very exciting. Always getting on at the at the
uh workaholics like rap parties and stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
Theres would always get his Portillo's. Yeah, it's already open.
It's here, it's already open. Well, let's go. It's sucking legit.
I grew up in Chicago. Portillo's was a thing, and
you gotta get that cake shake.

Speaker 5 (01:00:55):
Well, it says the Arlington restaurant will will do an
official ribbon cutting on Tuesday, November fourteenth at ten am.

Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
Okay, okay, so you're two thousand and earlier. Yeah, the
cause of diary and now for a little Q and ay,
say your talk your tits. I don't like you guys,

(01:01:26):
tell me to show my tits. Yeah, I pick it off.

Speaker 10 (01:01:29):
I did mine punk Rock getting Radical.

Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
So that's that's Isaac. We got him on the soundboard.

Speaker 10 (01:01:35):
Now, I don't like you guys, tell me to show
my tits.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
Will you play them all for me? Please? Just play?
Just play them all?

Speaker 10 (01:01:43):
Punk rock getting Radical?

Speaker 2 (01:01:45):
Oh, here we go. Drinking with Adam is always fun.

Speaker 10 (01:01:50):
I like getting weird with Kyle.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
What does he fuck you? Yeah? Man, come on, we
just talked about like ghosts and shut all right.

Speaker 5 (01:01:59):
So you guys have some hot cues and we got
some sweet sweet ays. So Charles aff goes, who would
you portray in a movie about your life?

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
Or portray?

Speaker 3 (01:02:10):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
I read that wrong. Who would portray you in a
movie about your life? Dude?

Speaker 5 (01:02:20):
Yeah, I'd watch the fun out of every fucking dumbass
thing you do is super like sexualized.

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
And he's like, you're slinking everywhere. Tell us about your
body transformation, Jared, Yeah, he's a pickleball movie. He just
starts at two seven. Jared Lettle is water trash blake.
What about you? Dog? Yes? I think hu? Who would

(01:02:50):
who would be me? Shut up? Bitch?

Speaker 5 (01:02:54):
So he said Carrot Top, and Blake said, shut up, bitch,
but also good.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
Casting, pretty good. Yeah, and obviously Carra Delvine Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:05):
Yeah, what.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
Yeah, I don't know, Like I guess I could just
I could go the same route as as Blake and
name the person from Game Overman, Mark Paul Gosler, who
then this is kind of funny.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
We talked about this on the pod. I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (01:03:24):
So in Game Overman, at the end of the movie
where we wanted to make our own game, he was like,
you guys should be in the game, and we're like great.
He's like, but I'm gonna replace you with famous people
and we go got it. So we each picked somebody
to like represent us. I believe Adam of Sean Aston
he was Caro Delavian. I was Mark Paul Gosler. Cut
to a couple of years later, I'm on this pilot

(01:03:44):
for Mixed Dish, which is a spinoff of Blackish.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
Uh huh right yeah right, so we got one huge fan.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
Then they fired me for being two jacked basically and
replace me with Mark Paul Gosler.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
Did wraw, Yeah he did wrong? Yeah, Okay, Adam, Yeah,
so that's w Adam. So you would be. I'm glad
you asked. Very cool. Adam is losing it. It's Morris,
I think ansel Elcourt. H yeah, but like you would die. Wait, wait,

(01:04:23):
who's the guy who likes was eating people and ship army?
He would be army. He wasn't. He wasn't eating people.

Speaker 10 (01:04:32):
He would want to do people.

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
He was talking about it. Yeah, by the way, the way,
very funny. That's a funny thing. I want to eat people.
So both of you guys did your game over man? Yeah,
I feel like mine would be leaning on him not bad.
Yeah that is actually perfect cast. Yeah, like leaning on

(01:04:55):
him and how I am right now? You know you
can do it? Yeah, little little dumpy, Yes, I like that.
I would watch that movie. I would watch the fun
out of that movie. So what's your go to hangover? Remedy?

Speaker 5 (01:05:11):
Hurt you Christina? And how would you describe your butthole
with a novel title? And Kyle asked that one.

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
But a novel like a book. You don't help books
like the Andromeda Strain.

Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
You want points? Yes, because when you poop your strain? Yeah?
Oh yeah. My butthole would be the busy world of Richard,
scary guy. My man's got a two year old dark
crystal Damn. Mine would be Hatchet by Gary Poulsen. Yeah,

(01:05:50):
my butthole would be the Green Mile. My god, that's
a I guess that's a that's a novella.

Speaker 5 (01:05:57):
Yes, So do any us have a hangover remedy besides
or alcohol?

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
I remember what it was when I used to drink
just fucking smoke weed. Yeah. Just you wake up and
you started and you're good to go for the rest
of that. Mine is going to ride a bicycle through
rich neighbor hunts. Mine is Panda Express right now.

Speaker 5 (01:06:23):
Yeah, you need a quick eight thousand calories in the
morning when you wake up.

Speaker 2 (01:06:27):
I need to just stop it up, boost of sodium.

Speaker 11 (01:06:30):
Just wait sorry, pan expresses what you need your butthole
or the it's my butthole, okay, okay, and my hangover here?

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
Got it?

Speaker 5 (01:06:41):
So Brie wolf Bane wants to know, Hey, this is
his would write a fake name on here. So his
name is Brie wolf Bane And he goes, were you
guys able to do every bit and joke or was
there something this studio said, by the way, is spilled said.

Speaker 2 (01:07:02):
Like S E D S A I N saying well,
that's got to be a capital D. That's saying. That's
saying I'm saying.

Speaker 9 (01:07:16):
I'm saying, you're gonna say something.

Speaker 2 (01:07:20):
Did they say in something like, uh no, this is
how would you describe your bottle with a novel title?
I swear to got it. It says it, It.

Speaker 9 (01:07:33):
Says the same ship, and then it says viacom. So
if you guys want to say viacom, that's totally.

Speaker 10 (01:07:44):
Paramount plus.

Speaker 2 (01:07:45):
Yeah. Yeah, tonight very angsty. What was there skipping that one? Yeah?
Were you guys able to do every bit or joke eventually? Yeah?
I would say for the most part, we wore them
down the material.

Speaker 1 (01:07:58):
And then we Adam had that one bit about I'm
just kidding, I was gonna say something.

Speaker 3 (01:08:03):
But it was the one we really fought for was
when we did the unburnable American flags And at first
they were like, that's where we can't do that, And
then we're like, what if our characters were on a
bunch of coke when.

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
They did it? And they're like, okay, that's all right,
good you go. Well.

Speaker 5 (01:08:17):
I feel like they they didn't want us to do
the bit where Kyle wanted to cut his dick off right.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
Because transitions and stuff. And they were like, well, we
can't do this because of transition. We don't want to
offend anyone.

Speaker 5 (01:08:31):
And we're like, but Kyle the character Carl, Carl the
character h hates his dick because it's caused all the
problems in his life.

Speaker 1 (01:08:41):
Yes, and they were like all right, and we said
it's kind of offensive that you're equating this to transitioning,
to be honest, and then the call was very quiet.

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
Yeah, they were like, yeah, okay, you do it. You
see us, and yeah, we got all jokes through.

Speaker 5 (01:08:59):
So Sandra Balda wants to know what was your favorite
episode of the show to make and does DR's dad
really have a legit? Bat He like, does Jersey's father
have a huge cock?

Speaker 2 (01:09:12):
I can't answer that one. I can, yeah, I can.
I can say I have never seen Dursey's cock. Hey, hey, cool,
wait to clear the air on that one.

Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
I always wake up in the morning and I'm like,
has Blake seen Daddy's dick?

Speaker 2 (01:09:31):
I liked? I like that.

Speaker 3 (01:09:33):
I got so defensive, like, I've never seen Dursy's cock,
Say Dad, I've never I've never seen cock.

Speaker 2 (01:09:40):
I've seen Jesus coss have you. Yeah, Win, don't worry
about it. I'm not telling no.

Speaker 5 (01:09:48):
I actually walked in on him as he was standing
up from the toilet and he goes like, and the
dick goes like.

Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
And I was like, nice, dick, sick.

Speaker 5 (01:10:01):
Where we're in somehow hotel room somewhere, And I like
came in the bathroom and you stood up from the
toilet and I saw your.

Speaker 2 (01:10:09):
Dickum all right, And I was like, sick, dick. Du
I came.

Speaker 5 (01:10:17):
I guess the door was open and I was sitting. No,
you were sitting on the toilet. You must have been shitting,
and they did not lock the door. And I walked
in the bathroom white as you were standing up, and
it was for me perfect timing. And it was the
perfect timing you me coming through and you at the

(01:10:39):
exact same time.

Speaker 2 (01:10:40):
Yeah, I want you want to hear something crazy. I
was sitting there mashing it like the fucking stress ball,
and I was like that so that knobbed jiggle.

Speaker 3 (01:10:53):
I like that you said the thing that you're like,
you said sick cock like it was like a nineties
movie and it's like the guitar was.

Speaker 2 (01:11:00):
Like cop your favorite decade sick cock bro. Yeah, it's
not like legendary, but yeah, it's a just stick car.
Wait your cocker your dad's yeah, your dad's cocker rock.
So what was your favorite episode of the show to make?
To make? To make? What was the one where we

(01:11:22):
were in when we were in the when the the
go karts all day? Oh, that was the time chair
Time Chair. When you guys around carts all day was
fucking cool. That was the best day of work. Well,
I don't know, that was pretty great. Yeah, we were
crushing that day.

Speaker 9 (01:11:40):
It's all the first maybe season or two of the show.

Speaker 5 (01:11:46):
We're like my favorite and even my most favorite to
make because everything was so new.

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
It was all so exciting. Still, yeah, it was very new,
you know, like when we did the.

Speaker 5 (01:11:57):
Office campf out, when we did the Mushrooms that episodisode.
For me, it was like so fun because it was
like the second or third episode in of us shooting
and it was so fun for us to do. Still,
and I mean it's still is very fun, but it's
like when it's new, it's exciting in school and we're
still fighting for every joke and.

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
Being like office Campo. Maybe we should sleep on set
and actually do a camp out here. That would be fun. Yeah,
being shirtless on a roof at night with my friends. Yeah, focused,
dream come true, Dream come true.

Speaker 5 (01:12:29):
Thank you guys for allowing us to have that show,
because without people watching it, they would not have allowed it.

Speaker 2 (01:12:35):
So we really thank you.

Speaker 5 (01:12:39):
So Sylvia Oh wants to know what's your favorite go
to karaoke song?

Speaker 2 (01:12:44):
And can you sing a little Smiley? The one that
I sing, the one I sing when I go to
sing and stand up and sing it every morning. There's
a halo hanging from the corner of my girlfriends, a.

Speaker 10 (01:13:00):
Post water trash ringing, ing inging.

Speaker 2 (01:13:03):
I don't have the words on the screen, and it's karaoke.
It's fucked up. I don't remember. That's very good, Blake,
I said. I. But get up, get on up, you
hold up, stay on the scene, get old up like

(01:13:24):
a sex machine.

Speaker 5 (01:13:26):
Get on up, get up, stay on the scene, get up.

Speaker 1 (01:13:40):
By the way like James Brown stud But the guys
sing get every time for the whole song.

Speaker 2 (01:13:48):
Yeah, you gotta give credit for credit due. I should
have got paid.

Speaker 9 (01:13:51):
A little more because they're carrying that song.

Speaker 2 (01:13:54):
Yeah for me, any Atlantis, go ahead, give come on,
give us some nurse. No, I'm kidding. I guess you
know what. The one I do like to throw on
is uh stand up doing. We don't need another hero.

(01:14:14):
Yeah that's all I know.

Speaker 5 (01:14:16):
Yeah, it words pitch perfect, yes, and it is uh
before But I love dude because i'd karaoke.

Speaker 2 (01:14:28):
The fucking place goes off. Dude, it's please.

Speaker 5 (01:14:31):
Don't set the music, but upp cut.

Speaker 2 (01:14:39):
It's I make my way over to my favorite place.
I gotta get my bottom move it so something like that.
God damn that gets my or any hard work for

(01:15:05):
me to dude? Yes? Right, yeah is that anything? Did?

Speaker 1 (01:15:16):
Like?

Speaker 5 (01:15:16):
Liz Liz Adderbury wants to know what is your favorite
mail order comedy sketch also mis spelt sketch?

Speaker 9 (01:15:26):
If I have more to ask, I have more to ask? Also, Kyle,
were we brothers?

Speaker 1 (01:15:32):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:15:34):
I don't know, Liz, You're not his brother? What is
your favorite male order comedy sketch?

Speaker 2 (01:15:41):
These two hard? Kyle? This guy's wondering if you're his brother?
What's up? Oh? Yeah, your name is it?

Speaker 1 (01:15:47):
Liz? Is it?

Speaker 2 (01:15:48):
Why is your your name is Liz? Okay? But you
but Liz, I feel like saying that's her name? And
then you wrote the rest of Okay, Bro, you know what,
I don't know. Maybe we are dude, I don't know.
I see it. I see it, Kansas. I don't know.
What is your favorite mail order comedy sketch? Probably I

(01:16:13):
really like Fortune Cookie. Do you guys remember that one?
Did anybody know that one? It's a very cheap Oh.
We were just talking about crossbows and mustaches on the way,
my wife says my wife.

Speaker 5 (01:16:26):
When we first started today, she was like, I guess
I got to beef up on your fucking comedy because
everyone screams ship at you when we're out at restaurants
and bars, and I have no idea what anyone's talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:16:40):
So she was like, I gotta beef up. I got
a beef up on some of this ship. And then she.

Speaker 5 (01:16:45):
Watched all of our maleoader comedy videos and then she
watched crossos and Mustaches and was like, that is the
funniest thing you've ever done, and maybe the funniest thing
you've ever will do.

Speaker 2 (01:16:56):
So I think my favorite skit we did one.

Speaker 3 (01:17:00):
We did one called Sierra Nevada Sausage Fest and it
was all about like bringing an I p A to
a party where it's just all.

Speaker 2 (01:17:08):
Dudes and it's just like a sausage fest.

Speaker 5 (01:17:11):
So that we also have a thematic video that was
one of my favorites. That was the guy that sang
all the theme songs from the nineties from t.

Speaker 2 (01:17:22):
G, from t G, I F Whatever Happet to Predictability,
the Billman, the PAPERBA Evening TV, and the Stamp Past
Step Day. So it was the.

Speaker 1 (01:17:41):
Guy sang all those songs, including Denverde Last Dinosaur, and
then he started doing a lot of cocaine and then he.

Speaker 2 (01:17:48):
Got in a hair one and then he died in
the booth. Yes, was like, it's worth checking out. That's
worth checking out.

Speaker 5 (01:17:55):
Michael and Maddie go honders, Do you also have a
sexy musk dash by your penis?

Speaker 2 (01:18:08):
I like how that was the moment for the punchline
and you took it?

Speaker 10 (01:18:14):
Yeah, sixty nine.

Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
Again the moment for the punch line. But no, to
answer your question, it again, Yeah I don't, I don't. Sorry, Yeah, no,
pretty regular. Uh and I've seen his cock regular regular,
and I've never seen a write home book ever.

Speaker 5 (01:18:38):
So uh over here, Mike count ak, Michael Orlando, he goes,
it's a ak. We're good on your real name, Bud, Yeah,
your old name is Mike cont We know that. So
if fame didn't work out, dude, I like that. He

(01:18:59):
thought we were after like fame, Like we're like, we're
gonna become sketch comedy creators for fame.

Speaker 2 (01:19:09):
If fame didn't work out, it's not fame.

Speaker 9 (01:19:11):
Where did you think your life would be right now?

Speaker 2 (01:19:16):
Homeless? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:19:17):
Yeah I think we No, dude, for sure, I would
be like on a bus stop, like my face on
a bus stop, trying to sell some like bad real
estate being.

Speaker 7 (01:19:26):
Like right, yeah, yeah, and an accident lawyer.

Speaker 2 (01:19:34):
Yeah, that's still kind of fame. Again.

Speaker 1 (01:19:37):
We touched on this the other week where we were
they were like, hey, if you guys weren't famous actors,
what would you be? And Adam was like, probably like
the star of a reality show, and so he went
from if you weren't famous, what would you be?

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
I'd be on every bus stop you see. Anyway, I
think I would be a manager at a water burger,
a hand ring, hand ring did they have and conquered?

Speaker 1 (01:20:01):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:20:01):
I would move to Dallas and I'd be a manager
and whatever. There we go, You're lying Dallas.

Speaker 1 (01:20:10):
My franchise went up to conquered. I would be coaching
all your children in swimming.

Speaker 2 (01:20:14):
There you go, there you go. Yes, I'd be hyped that.
I wish you would still do that.

Speaker 1 (01:20:20):
What's the fast hang, I don't say it is like
is Kingwood around here or is that near Austin.

Speaker 2 (01:20:26):
That's that's them. I'm just shouting out fast swim schools
that I know, right, Okay, they got they got a
pretty good squad. Texas can swim. Who else is fast?
No one knows fast? Actually, just give me ten minutes.
No one knows who the fuckings fastt swimming? Who cares?

Speaker 5 (01:20:46):
Zach Thomas wants to know what is the origin of
the poop dollar? Go ahead, I think uh, I think
that is my buddy goons. Kyle Walsh, he used to
do that at his college in Lincoln, Nebraska. Oh my
and uh and the University of Nebraska, totally University of Nebraska,

(01:21:07):
and they did it outside of their fraternity. And I
always thought it was a funny thing. And then in
the first episode.

Speaker 7 (01:21:13):
Of works we worked today there, that's just wild to
me that it was something that was real.

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
I could not believe that mischievous you go so Emily
just remembered. He slammed that, no, I had to skip
a few because it was just like, drs show me
your asshole. So Emily.

Speaker 5 (01:21:39):
B be so for real, Emily says, was that your
dick and balls and game over man, Yeah, I would have.
I would have put such a cooler, bigger dick and
balls if it wasn't my dick and balls.

Speaker 2 (01:21:55):
Yeah, we were. We were about to prep a prosthetic
if in case you didn't want to do it. But
in order to I was obsessed with prepping a prosthetic.
I had to prep a prosthetic in order to do that.

Speaker 5 (01:22:06):
So in Game Over Man, I showed my dick and
balls and also my wife has paused it my asshole ANDUCI,
yeah right there, and you were like ready at the
day of your like we have a prosthetic, we can't
do it. But I was like, my dick would be
bigger then because it would have to go over my dick.

(01:22:26):
And then I'm like, well then I don't want people
to be like, oh.

Speaker 9 (01:22:29):
He's strapped on this huge fucking cock.

Speaker 2 (01:22:31):
Yeah it was. It was you got about it.

Speaker 1 (01:22:35):
You'd have to go from ten inches to twelve inches
and that's just that's where it gets into a weird,
wishy washing.

Speaker 2 (01:22:41):
Yeah, no, you you made the right choice there.

Speaker 5 (01:22:45):
So Nathaniel Johnson wants to know what is more important
in life, relationship or principle.

Speaker 2 (01:22:51):
That's it's important, relationship or principal. Yeah, I don't know
the fuck this guy's talking about. What about this guy?
Because this guy is obviously on the edge of divorcing
his wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's happening. Hey, my boy,
it's cheaper to keep her all right? Brow about that? Yeah,

(01:23:12):
I like that. We get we didn't even throw any
buzzballs out. We're getting questions like that, Jesus, and we
wish we could. We wish, we wish we could.

Speaker 5 (01:23:25):
So Lucas Fabre Fabra wants to know which one of
you could fit a whole fist in your ass.

Speaker 2 (01:23:32):
I could. Oh, there's absolutely no way that's happening. Over
the fist in your ass, dude. The question is which
one of you could fit a fist in your asshole?
Who the fuck wrote that? Dude? Lucas Fabra right there,
right up right. I feel like this normal hooking dude was.

Speaker 1 (01:23:49):
Like, Hey, what up?

Speaker 2 (01:23:50):
Why this boy is a free Why I could? Yeah,
here's my question and you know this is this is
this I love about this tour.

Speaker 1 (01:24:01):
Did we really get to challenge our minds, our imaginations
when you hear like fist, do you think like this
but really that you can do the whole little like
Chris Rockhandy, you know, yours together consertion and uh so
I probably still couldn't do it.

Speaker 2 (01:24:19):
Yeah, there's no I see you know because you see
it like start with this bottle, you see.

Speaker 5 (01:24:25):
I mean I could totally and I'm not going to
in front of you guys, Jared Letto. I truly think
my asshole could just swallow this whole table.

Speaker 2 (01:24:36):
Dude, if you know how to die, I really think
it could do.

Speaker 1 (01:24:41):
And is that because it's already that big or you
know how to like relax it, I can relax so
much and swallow thingsful.

Speaker 2 (01:24:49):
I know that I could do that.

Speaker 9 (01:24:51):
I've never by the way, I've never done that.

Speaker 2 (01:24:53):
When Adam's hands are full, he picks up things around
the house like this. Yeah he was wigging it was empty.
That's exactly.

Speaker 5 (01:25:04):
Any take backs, any apologies and the epic slams.

Speaker 2 (01:25:07):
Yeah, I'm sorry we talked about like my dad's dick.
I'm sorry. I sweated so much here we go.

Speaker 3 (01:25:15):
I definitely want to take back that thing where I
imitated my mom masturbating and naming me.

Speaker 2 (01:25:21):
That was fucked up, and I'm sorry, Mama. Yeah I
liked it. Yeah, I bet you did. I mean, I
just I'd like to know I got I got no
take backs, I got nothing. What about the whole beginning
of the show where you were having a heart attack.

Speaker 7 (01:25:36):
I was gonna take that back, but I feel like
that only made me stronger because I now know that.

Speaker 2 (01:25:41):
I'm like, hey, made you strong. Let's see those muscles.

Speaker 7 (01:25:44):
No, I mean like emotionally, because there was a moment
where I almost had a panic attack where I wasn't
I wasn't stopping sweating, But now I made it through
it and I'm stronger now.

Speaker 2 (01:25:52):
So what's up. I think you did a great time.

Speaker 9 (01:25:55):
And then they also rad your back, which is pretty fun.

Speaker 5 (01:25:58):
Yeah, you know, I think the audience wants me to
take back me talking about that guy shooting innocent protesters.

Speaker 2 (01:26:05):
I guess what.

Speaker 5 (01:26:06):
I won't Panama standing standing by that, and I won't
take back chugging my red bull pod.

Speaker 2 (01:26:16):
It slowed down my speech a little bit, A.

Speaker 10 (01:26:19):
Little bit fucking disaster, my guy.

Speaker 1 (01:26:22):
Yeah, man, I'll apologize on behalf of us that we
cannot give you guys buzzballs.

Speaker 2 (01:26:28):
Yeah, so that's a big apology. Are from Dallas. It's
literally the house. Ye have you guys been in the factory?
Do they give tours? Do they have buzzball tours?

Speaker 10 (01:26:42):
No tours?

Speaker 2 (01:26:43):
And by the way, it's women owned. It's the best company.
So women make that poison. Very cool. I do that
these women have balls.

Speaker 1 (01:26:56):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (01:26:56):
I like it. Do we have any ridiculous see outlandish giveaways? Yeah,
like we got more taste. We bought T shirts.

Speaker 10 (01:27:10):
Four T shirts, pull pull.

Speaker 2 (01:27:16):
Yo right here, Yeah, you got it, you got it.
That's for you. That's how I said. Who's hunting in it?

Speaker 5 (01:27:24):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:27:24):
There's one guy here, baby wow? Oh yeah, dude, there
we go.

Speaker 10 (01:27:29):
There's so every down here.

Speaker 2 (01:27:30):
You go, picking asshole. That almost made me fun.

Speaker 4 (01:27:35):
Just got over here, right down the pipe, sack.

Speaker 2 (01:27:47):
Thank you so much, Alice, such a great time. We
really appreciate you guys coming the cross.

Speaker 9 (01:27:54):
We love our pants and this is another.

Speaker 2 (01:27:58):
Episode of us is impositive? All y'all over here, Rocky
h

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Anders Holm

Kyle Newacheck

Adam Devine

Blake Anderson

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep 169: Live From Dallas: Kyle Is Not Doing Well