October 27, 2020 • 59 mins
Today, this is what’s important:
The Ring camera, Adam being robbed, big cats, eating ass, animal trainers on set, fuck-marry-kill, taking back a death, Chadwick Boseman, artists who died too young, The Wizards, the SXSW Workaholics house party, high school teachers, and more.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to This Is Important, a production of My Heart Radio,
this show where we talk about what's obviously most crucially
important today on This Is Important. He's got a Furburwerd
for sure. I got you the old spice. You're gonna
go with me. Pat, you can cozy up me and
my pamp Jeels. Let it lose. If the animal doesn't
(00:25):
feel like coming out, they have to let you know
that the animals not coming out. And that's what's up.
And here we go. For me, I'm team ring all
day long. We're talking about the cameras at the front
of the house to make sure people aren't shifting on
your doorstep for any weird stuff, home security cameras, the
cameras at the front of your house and the back
(00:47):
and all around and inside for some people. I know Isaac, Well,
I got robbed like a handful of years ago. That's
when I put mine up and my neighbor told me,
this is how shitty neighbors are in Laws Angeles, Like
they truly don't give a fuck. The guy my neighbor
was like, oh yeah, I told him I got robbed
and he was like, oh yeah, I saw someone digging
(01:09):
through your trash wearing scream masks. What two guys? And
I'm like, you didn't think to call the police, and
he goes, no, I just figured it was someone just
looking for cans or something. And I'm like, in a
screen mask, that's so terrifying, that's amazing. Yeah, they were
actually robbing your house in screen masks. Apparently that's kind
of baller until you're stabbed to death by the way
(01:33):
your neighbor robbed you and then told you there were
some people with scream masks going through your garbage, so
that you're totally thrown Yeah, oh yeah, because the first
thing you're thinking is, well, it's definitely not this asshole
who just saw them. It didn't tell me look at
me sherlock home. All of a sudden, I just hear
him playing on a Casio keyboard holding an antique rifle.
(01:58):
Is that what was taken from you? Yeah, there's like
two things got stolen. Who plays a keyboard? You play keyboard?
My yeah, man, I tickle the ivories They're not ivories?
Are plastic on a keyboard player? Well, dude, these are
This was elite level Cassio. Damn you kill the elephant.
It wasn't mine. It was my x GF and she
tickled the ivories your x GF. This is many moons ago, Kyle.
(02:22):
This is like moving on, Kyle, baby, I gotta keep
up up my ex. Uh, you're not catching me on? No?
No ship dog? Yeah no, okay, my bad, My bad, homie.
So are you guys worried about getting broken into or
you just you know, this is just how you have
to live life. Now. You gotta have a ring or
a nest or a beam. Yeah. Man, it's basically to
(02:44):
keep all the fans out the cript for you. It's
the fans. It's crazy. It's actually just creature cams because
you'll just catch like possums, raccoons, rats, called a bobcat.
That's scary. I'll be honest. I have a fear of bobcats.
Wild Cats scare me. Big cats, links mate. Wildcats scare me.
(03:06):
They're unpredictable. They're unpredictable. Yeah, but they're so dang nice. Man.
You can't predict them at all. That's one thing I
gave here. And you can never predict cats. I heard
that cats wait to attack you when you turn your back. Okay, yes,
a dog will come at you head on. Cats wait
till you turn around, and then they pounced. Really, I
(03:27):
swear to gold. I was out riding my bike the
other day and there was like out of nowhere. I'm
like on this river trail and out of nowhere because
I'll be cycling out of know where, Like five coyotes
came just like we're running across the river trail because
it was you know, it's all it's l a sort
of things just dried out, and they come running across.
(03:48):
And suddenly I was like, am I about to fight
six coyotes? That would be epic. They fully just did
not care and just all ran all around me on
every side. But for a second, I was like, I'm
gonna have to fight to the death some kyotes due
they might have been cheering you on. That could be
your cheer squad out where I live. Like sometimes in
the middle of the night, the packs of coyotes will
(04:08):
get something and they will just go crazy, like crazy
and you hear the animal that they got, like screaming
and stuff. It is the most like fucking leave me alone,
Leave me the funk alone. No, don't kill me, Oh
not my face, don't eat my face first, eat my
ass first. Oh, just please eat my ask honey, honey,
(04:33):
the coyotes are out there again, eat my ass, please
eat as first? Oh god, why not my face? Just
just focus on the ass, please, What are you doing
out there? That's what I'm definitely saying that. I'm definitely
saying that one if I if I get attacked by anything,
it's just like, please eat my ass first. Then Kyle
(04:54):
just walks into the woods, just asked first, just ready
to get gobbled? Are you going to the woods again.
I'm laying traps. I'm laying more traps. Just eat my ass,
Eat my ass. That's what I hope my ghost says
in the afterlife. If you die first, I want you
to haunt us with eat my ass eat. Remember Workaholics
(05:18):
when we had a dog eat my ass and it
was like, oh yeah, what it was the bulldog from
Modern Family. That was like, well it licked mountain dew
code red out of your butt crack. That was That
was the episode. That was the entire episode. Now what
was what was the plot. It was the one where
we went back to school and I was teasing the
(05:41):
National Guard or the Coastguard. The Coastguard, yeah, oh sure, sure,
sure they like tracked me down with their dog and
they're like, poor code Red, down this buck crack and
make the dog with it, and like in a TV show,
you're like, ha ha, that's that's funny. How are we
practically doing this? And everyone's like, we're putting peanut butter
on your butt and then we're gonna have a dog.
(06:03):
That's practical. Movie magic Baby, we did you the justice
of not putting it in near the hole. It was
like on your cheek, right, the justice probably fell hell
a good service. Yeah, but you think the dogs can
be like, oh, I'll be right over here. Yeah, no,
it went for it. He live the credit card. I
was on set. That was a good morning. That was
(06:24):
a really good morning. Fantastic morning. I'm surprised the animal
people weren't like absolutely no way, because they're they're pretty
fucking weird. The animal people on every set, every set
you come to, they're always you know, God bless them.
They're doing God's word. Allegedly, Allegedly they're fucking weird. Allegedly
(06:45):
they're fucking psycho. But every time they're like they're just
always you know, totally insane. Yeah, they have to because
their friends are animals. They aren't programmed to talk to humans. Yes,
they show up on set and they speak for the animals.
So if the animal needs a trailer, they have to
get the animal trailer at the game. That's what's up, hey,
(07:08):
that and that is what's up well, and so that's
their whole job. I couldn't have put it better myself. Man.
That was so crystal clear and poignant and real, and
thank you. And that is what's up. That is important.
This is important, and that was important. What you just
said it was important. Yeah. Anytime I can get the
(07:28):
opinion of a robot like yourself, I love it. Kyle.
I don't know if you know what just happened. But
you cut out and you just been and then came
back and with and that's what's up. Oh oh no,
I did not know that that happened. Sorry about that.
We weren't shifting on whatever you just said, like, we
(07:49):
just we came in real hard on whatever you said.
You're like, I thought that was pretty uh pretty stuff. Well,
I was saying some dumb shit about how like the animal,
like if the animal doesn't want to come to set,
then the person speaks for the animal, and that's how
fucking strange. They are the animal never wants to come
to set. I'll say that these fucking a little score.
If I'm honest, neither do. Okay, I'd rather be watching TV.
(08:13):
But you're an animal in your own right. Yeah, yeah,
the animal of the crew. Yeah, party animal, party animal. Baby. Hey, guys,
this is important, fuck mary, kill each other. Oh god,
this game. I feel like I've played this a million
times with you guys? Can I do all three to
(08:33):
all of you? That's what I always say, Well, you
can can't, but that's not how you play the game. No,
you marry first, then you have sex. It's obvious. It's obvious.
What I would do? What what's so obvious? I would
marry Blake? Okay, thank you, because we got a great relationship,
has been you know, for years now, since we were young.
(08:55):
So you don't want to kill him as all right?
I would. I would suck Adam be is what? Yeah,
I would suck you. Well, I'll probably let you let
you fuck me. Um Jesus Christ. Well you know it's easy.
It's simple. This is simple stuff, simple science. Okay, why
why are you fucking me because of my ass? Yeah?
I'm curious, I'm curious about you, you know, I'm curious
(09:17):
about the way that you fuck. And I would kill unders.
Oh my god, damn uh why would you kill me?
I would kill hounds? Why would you kill me? Yeah?
What the hell? Because man is some deep seated ship. Bro.
It just goes back to like it goes. It goes
into it. You know. We don't need to get into it,
but it's in therapy. Yeah, and we're bad. I mean,
(09:40):
Kyle just fist fought. Our fists exploded when we hit
each other at the exact same time. I don't want
to kill you. I would have to, just because that's
how the games played. It is. It is a hard game. Yeah,
it's tough. I honestly would have loved to see you
guys fist fight in your prime. Kyle's a little a
little pastor, I know, but in our prime destroy Yeah,
(10:04):
right now, there's would beat us all up. There's was
a guys. I've seen Kyle Box. Now I'm obviously the
most athletter you're doing all right, I've seen Kyle Box.
He's crazy. He reaches down inside of him and fights
with a anger that you've never seen before. Also, don't
have the cigarettes anymore, so I kind of got, you know,
I got a little stamina. I would love to see
how far back Kyle winds up before he punches. Well,
(10:28):
me and Kyle have fought a handful of times, and
it's it's always absolutely insane. The reach he's got you on.
The reach reaches absurd. I remember one time we got
in a fight. I don't even remember what was about.
It doesn't matter. It was stupid, but we got in
a fight and and I climbed Kyle like a fucking
tree and then was gripping him as hard as I
(10:50):
could so he couldn't swing on me. And then the
entire party was outside. They all came back in at
the exact same time and just saw it looked like
Kyle was fucking me into the wall. But this is
weird after you just said that you would this kind
but uh, but they were like, what's going on? And
(11:10):
we're like, we're fighting, and they're like, kind of doesn't
look like you're fighting at all. And that was the
night that you kept showing me your fists. Do you
remember that you kept showing me your fists and being like, oh,
these big check hands. You're lucky I didn't connect with
these big check hands, because I did swing back like
ultra like you were able to dodge a punch from me,
(11:32):
because I did swing back well for sure, because the
wind up was absurd. It was like a wind up
has to be huge. It's like a Mike Tyson punch
out character. Yes. Yeah, do you remember what we were
drinking earlier in that night at him? Can? I guess? Yeah?
Was it Thunderbird? Was it night Train? Oh? It was Thunderbird.
(11:55):
It was night Train, a mixture. But I was thinking
Sparks Sparks, yes, of course. Well I didn't even think
about that. I was just thinking about the pimp juice
that we were drinking. Me and my pimp joice, let
it lose. Can we get Pimpchus to sponsor our podcast?
I mean pim just didn't have alcohol, correct, it was
(12:15):
just an energy drink. Yeah, pimp choice was only energy.
Sparks was good. Sparks Sparks basically sponsored my twenties. Yeah,
that ship was Spire. I feel like a lot of
people don't know about Sparks. Sparks was a full on
alcoholic energy drink. Yeah, that was pretty good. They had
to have just like some kid's heart exploded and they
(12:35):
were like, we gotta stop right. It was. It was
good tasting, and I felt it was pretty popular. Some
kid just at f S. You just had one too
many Sparks and that ignited the explosion within him. Had
to it for sure. Allegedly, there's no If they want
to come back, though, we will be the poster boys Sparks.
(12:57):
Well wait, hang up, we're not. We're not done with
Mary kill. Oh you guys just want to tell me
you went off me? No, dude, I got I've already,
I've already. I'm already one up on on the getting
fucked Okay, I'm the one getting fucked right now. I'm
gonna I'm gonna go. Cannot wait, cannot wait. I'm gonna
(13:17):
marry Adam. Can everyone hear me? Here's Kyle the only
one who's gargling. Okay, that's just Kyle's digestive system. I'm
in the bit shape of my life. Sorry Kyle, roasting you?
Oh my god? Any who I would marry Adam, thank you,
(13:40):
But you have to give reasons why. I'm I can
usually give reasons when I'm not fucking cut off, wifey.
This is what it would be, would be us going
back and forth, giving each other ship. We can still
fun right because you're married. Yeah you do fun woulden
You're married? Good, good good, check that box. So it's
fuck fuck kill. It's a different kind of fucking blake
(14:02):
and this is love making it. So I moved. I
move into your place on the beach. I'm on your boat,
just some tanning while you drive. You wear big gass
hats like Chloe. Oh yeah, I'm getting golden out there,
baby nice. I'm working on one screenplay for the rest
of my life. It's like starring you and it's not
(14:26):
good and you're like, yeah, no, I just think and
it all takes place like in Catalina. Yes, it's called
the Wine Mixer and it's about a cat named Lena.
Watch out for cats, dude, they attack you when you
turn your back. True, Who am I fucking? Who am
I killing you already? No, bitch, I'm killing cot dead boy,
(14:49):
you dead boy. And I was gonna say I'm fucking
blake because he's got that that long hair to grab
onto from the back. Um, and I just feel like
you would let me live out that fantasy. And then
I was like, well, wait, Kyle has that hair. And
then it was like, I'm not interested in his dark
ass butt crack hair. I'm not into it. No, you don't.
You don't want to work with the hemmys. I wouldn't
(15:10):
let you near it. You got you got to die,
that got to die. The fishers in the hemmys. I'd
be screaming out of pain, not pleasure. Baby fishers in
the hemmys. If you're just tuning in now, this is important.
This is and it's important. Your diet and your fiber
intake is incredibly important if you wanna, you know, survive
(15:30):
with fishers and hemorrhoeids. So so that's it. It really
boils down to the dark pubic region of Kyle. It's
just turned off to me fair enough, and Blake having
built in the handles just for control stability. Jesus, I
get it. I get it. I like, I like you
(15:50):
got too real for Blake all It's like, Jesus, what
is this game? I don't feel like you're supposed to
go ads in depth. I just wanted to just say
the names and who you gotta go. I'm going to depth.
You've gotta go in depth. The depths are alright, So Blake,
what's your story no, like if I really, if I
(16:13):
really start to play it out, there's like reasons I'd
kill Kyle. There's reasons i'd marry him. I never would
want to suck Kyle. I just never. He's just one friend.
I just I don't know. I think one friend, you'd
suck every other friend. Gotta every Wow, I've ran this
scenarios through my head with everybody, and I come, that's
(16:35):
incredible to me. Like to me, that's when Blake's having
a hard time going to sleep. He's like, let me
just run the rolodex. If every friend I've ever had
and what I want to suck them? Yes, yes, yes,
it comes to Kyle no way and l yeah yeah.
But the thing is every other friend he's fucking nah yeah.
(16:56):
And it's like we're best friends and ship, but not
for that. You know. Well, i'd say I love Kyle
to death, but I do. When I imagine fucking Kyle,
I imagine, uh, I imagine just the hair going like
connecting to your asshole, like it's just full. It's not
even that hairy though. I mean, you guys are tripping.
(17:17):
You guys got a lot going on in your imaginations.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, but this is the imagination. This
is the picture that we're we're painting. It's because I've
been open about my fissures and your and your hemmyes.
Yes that you can say it. You can go ahead
and shame me for that for my medical reasons and
just blame it on the hair. We are we are.
You know what it is? I think that Demi Moore
(17:39):
photo from like the eighties, when you remember that photo
where it's like you just see how Harry. Uh, That's
what I imagine, Kyle. But then the rest of him
doesn't look like anymore. Yeah, yeah, minus the Demi Moore.
He's got a fur burger for sure, fur burger right
between the cheeks. Okay, so continue, Okay, So I think
(17:59):
I got it. Okay, are definitely fucking Adam. I'm giving
him back shots. What's up with that luscious dumper? So wait,
I got to I gotta, I gotta marry. I got
and two fox. That's pretty good. That is pretty good.
And I was going back and forth on this, but
(18:20):
you know what, I will also take your hand in marriage, Kyle.
I would love to live out a quiet life in
the woods with you where we just read books on
a porch and drink lemonade, and and I take care
of your hammies. Yes see, now that I can provide
for you, I can absolutely provide you the solace in
nature and build you a garden and pick apples for
(18:42):
you from the orchard. And and here's the deal with Hoders.
Here's the deal with Anders. I don't want to kill him.
I need to Okay, I need to see this guy
like no, I want a chilke to joke. Yea, all right,
(19:03):
I want to cut you up, put you in a box,
and just drop you off the edge of a boat.
Let's see if you could swim. Hey, man, I got
the boat. Hey yeah, and you know who's driving that boat?
Your husband? Thank you? Wait a second, was this all
just deployed to murder me? Yeah? This is we'll take
stirs out on your mistress's boat. Who you're fucking? But
(19:23):
your your husband's cool with it, so we're all going
out together too, because also I want to suck your mistress.
Oh you gonna funk me too? Man. Well, I mean,
if we're just playing this out, that's what's up. And
this is Catalina. Yeah, we steal your screenplay. Yeah, they
take they take the screenplay and make it. It's a hit. Yeah,
(19:46):
it's a hit. And Hathaway stars in it. Yeah, Adam
wrote it and Hathaway as I just wrote it. Yeah,
I was like, I don't know, it just popped out,
and this is really good. It's like I just tried once.
It's the first draft. I don't know who I thought
CAT named Lena. It's genius. It's almost like you've been
writing it for twenty five years and just pouring over
this one idea. No first draft. It just poured out
(20:10):
of me. You already know the sequel, the sequel. It's like,
I know what you did last summer. I come, but yeah,
and I cut everybody with the brads that keep the
pages togeether slice slice paper cuts. Maybe I don't know,
I'll play with it. Who's making these small cuts? Guy
(20:30):
was found with over a hundred brads stuck in his body.
The detective is just Eric Griffin. Yeah, that's his body. Okay,
are you really doing? Are you doing a character? Who
is this person? It's mate? It is not man. I
(20:50):
don't get enough respect. I do not get enough respect
as a detective? How good as detective? How come I
we get one take? You give the guys five takes,
watch we go for an hour on this that'd being said,
I would, uh, I would watch that. Riffin about Griffin,
Riffin about Griffin, riff Bog Griffin shout out to his
podcast Riffing with Griffin, Eric Griffin Homeboy from Work Coholics Montes.
(21:13):
It's a lot easier than he makes it look. It's
a lot easier podcast, a lot easier that it looks.
So wait, Adam, Adam, did you go? Did I not?
You gotta do yours, don't you? You didn't do it?
I think it. Dur's is the one who you guys
(21:33):
know better than I. Durst had the whole story. You
don't remember me describing your body already blanked it out, dude,
it was grossed all right, Adam, what's your deal? Uh? No,
I did not. I did not go. And you're trying
to skip it, bro, Yeah, uh you know I'm going
(21:56):
to have to. I'm marrying Blake because I think I
think we would get along well. I think we would
grow old together. We could go see he could teach
me about his music's you'd let me have the playlist? Yeah, you'd, you'd.
I would give you the OX cord and you could
just spin some new tunes and I would always be
(22:18):
hip and cool and connected with with the cultures. I
like that. Let's go to India together. Yes, you'd take
me to fun shows and I'd get to wear my
leather jackets. Oh should I love it when you wear
the leather jacket. Yeah. And I'd get to wear my
leather jacket and just be like, oh, this is fun.
We never do this anymore, We never do this anymore.
(22:41):
And you're like, yeah, bab oh, yeah, I'm taking you,
taking your out, showing you what's up. That being said,
I have a side piece. Oh ship, Yeah, I got
a side piece. And this one I know it's gonna
get wild and nasty because he was an ex collegiate
(23:02):
athlete honors home. We fucking baby, baby, we fucking we
fucking And that is not and I and Kyle, I
don't want to kill you. I don't want to kill you. No,
I know, I don't want to kill you. It's just
because I don't want to fuck you. And I and
that you have to die because I don't want to
(23:24):
suck you. And that is the game. I wish you
could live. I wish you could Honestly, I would love
to see you as an old man, and you're right
up there. You know you might have gotten second place.
You might have, but I'm not admitting that. So you're saying,
if there is some super fucked up scenario where there
is a person gun to Kyle's head and they're like,
(23:46):
there's only one way you could save this dude, you
have to him, you would say, well, that's not the game.
It's fun Mary killed. That's a new game. The game
is if he fox him the other person died. Yeah,
I would suck any one of you guys, if that's
the case. I'm just letting you know a new game. Well,
the only reason I picked Durs to fuck is because
he is a hairless man. What is it with you
guys in hair? Why are we so afraid of hair
(24:08):
as a culture? What is happening where? I don't know, Hey,
it's just how we're built. There's a smell with you
as well, Kyle. There's a smell to and there it is. Yeah,
but the smell is natural. Baby, But Juli oil, there's
like oils and ship. Yeah, I got you the old spice.
You're gonna go with me? Pat, you can cy up.
(24:28):
So we who the funk killed me? Adam killed me,
DRS killed me? Yeah, I got killed twice, Get over it. Yeah,
I married you, We married each other. We both so
put me and Der's are the only ones that got killed.
Wait I didn't get killed at all. I didn't get
killed either. Yeah, you guys both just got fucked and married,
which to be fair, man, put me out of my misery.
(24:48):
Can I tell you something that'll put you at ease? Yeah,
you're no body to somebody kills you. I didn't know
where you're going with. Yeah, I was like that. I
didn't know you could sing that well, that was really
impressive and only sing this way otherwise, Like I just
(25:13):
I can't. That's it. Like the horse and top secret
secret something I was wanting to ask you fellas a
little a little question and is it important? It's very important,
(25:34):
and I want you to really think about it, okay,
And I was jogging on I'm thinking, I'm thinking, hey,
if you could take back a death and make a
person who maybe you know passed away before their time
and grant them like twenty or thirty or maybe they
only had five years left, but somebody like to put
them back into society and see what they would have
(25:57):
done with their time, like a famous person. It could
be famous person. I don't know. If you want to
get really real and there's a friend that you're like,
was super impactful for you? Yeah, the game is for
a famous person. That would be a little more fun.
I would say, I think the listeners would That's okay,
because I'm down to talk about I want one more
(26:17):
rubarb pie. She made dope rhubarb pie. Really, I don't
think I've ever had that pie. Oh man, you because
you eat rhubarb and it's a little sour and you
think this is gonna make a shitty pie. Our villa
gets her her old wrinkly fingers on on that frost.
(26:39):
Automatically super sweet, super delicious. It was. Yeah. I think
she poured a lot of sugar. Whenever he was like,
did you just put rubarb into a pie? It becomes sweet? Uh?
Like all grandparents food is delicious until you see them
make it, until you're in the kitchen and you're like, oh, oh,
that's why our families so bees? Is that the reason?
(27:03):
That is the reason it's butter? Did you guys? Do
you guys ever have something called I think people call
like ambrosia salada, but we called it fluffy salad and
it's just like marshmallows coconut and like manas wait, the
white flagship of barbecue, Like yeah, we we also called that.
(27:24):
We called it cranberry fluff. There would go and it's
off the chain. It's so gross, man is it? The
mini marshmallows are the big marshmallow mini mini, but they're like, yeah,
I think I've had that. I think I've had that.
They're like soggy and wet. That's when when I was
a kid, I would just get a tray of that.
That would be like my go. But when I went
back for round two of Thanksgiving, I would just get
(27:47):
a tray of that. And then I look back at
photos and I was like, well, that's why I was
a fat, a little kid. Adam have green beans, have
a green bean, but even green beans in the Midwest,
they like cover it with cheese and and crutons and
ship Yeah, which is bomb. Yeah, it's you know, it's delicious.
Wait a second, who are we bringing back? Who are
we bringing back? I'm like I'm really contemplating. Okay, let's
(28:09):
do too, Let's do a personal and then a celebrity
or just do a celebrity. Celebrity well, I don't know.
We can talk about Rubard Polis might be some hot
content there. Well, dude, I'll go celebrity. Is Adolf Hitler?
Is he a celebrity or is he just come on?
Hear me out, we bring back Hitler. He goes, oh
(28:34):
my gosh, and it's like hispanic accident. Oh my gosh,
thank you, thank you so much for bringing me back.
And I go, I go, look, Hitler, here's my plan.
I'm gonna fucking kill you again. Wait, hold on, hold on,
and then I kill Hitler. And then everyone's like, let me,
let me put another another What am I called on this?
(28:55):
You're just extending their life from when they're on earth,
so they never passed away. They lived like twenty years
on or thirty years on beyond when they passed away.
Are you sacrificing anything to do this or that doesn't matter.
You're changing the rules And I'm not doing that. No.
I'm not saying like, bring somebody from the like hey,
oh now, all of a sudden, fucking Gandhi's here. I'm
saying like he didn't pass away at the time. He
(29:18):
wasn't lived on. This isn't Bill and Ted. We're not
transporting people from the past into our current future. Well
then what's the fun in that? Well, it's like who
in your life did you see pass or somebody that
you would want to change history or something. So with Hitler, Hitler,
you could do that, but you can't kill him because
you weren't alive. But I want you want to kill
(29:39):
him like I want to kill you. You need to
kill you would have to have like your grandpa would
have to kill him. I guess what I was just thinking.
I was like, I guess where it all came from.
As I was thinking, man, it would have been freaking
sick to still have like Jimmy Hendricks around. I would
have liked to hear Old asked Jimmy Hendrix, like blues
playing and see what kind of outfits that guy would
be still, But are you afraid Jimmy Hendrix would just
(30:02):
suck for JIMMI Hendrix would like all of a sudden,
be like the Sharman guy where he's like like he
sold out. Yeah, you know what I mean, like he
like sells toothpaste. It's possible, but I'd like to think
he would have been like a really cool source of
creativity to this day, I got a feeling that even
(30:22):
he would have died again, Like I think like that
there was wild times, man, people were just dying. Yeah, yeah,
Like he dies the next day. Yeah, did he die
of a heroin overdose or was that a ham sandwich?
Or how did he go? Know? He was he was
asphyxiated in his sleep, Like he puked and then just
choked because he was so fucked up? Are you guys
(30:43):
kind of surprised that that hasn't happened to any of us?
Not believe it? Yeah, Like I've had a few nights,
like not recently, a few weeks ago, uh no, like
years ago that we're like you wake up and you're
in a working lot or something. Well, this is like
why I stopped drinking because I was so afraid of that.
(31:04):
But even having thrown up in your sleep, I've done
it like three or four times. Yeah, yeah, And to
be fair, I think a lot of the ways that
that goes down, not that I would ever, you know,
you gotta drink responsibly, but I think it's sometimes when
you mix it with like muscle relaxing or you do
something that really knocks you out. So your body when
(31:26):
you do, if you do drink irresponsibly and throw up
in your sleep, your body will wake up to that like,
holy fun, what is happening. But when you have that
stuff in your system, you just start like you woke
up every time correct STRs or did you wake up
and there's just puke on your bed? The weirdest thing
is I'm still asleep. Yeah, I know I would wake
(31:47):
up the next morning and there'd be puke on my bed. Like,
so I must have been like to the side, sure, yes,
but so that was like you you either woke up
and noticed you were like your podcasting with a ghost.
Eat my my asked, eat my ass, blakes, the callback
came on. I need to get back in that improv baby,
(32:08):
zip zip baby, I'm itching for callbacks. It would be
cool to see what Heath Ledger would have done. Ship.
That's a good one. Yes, that's a good one. That's
a really good one, dude, I think that would have
been That's probably my go to. That would be good. Well,
I mean the newest is Chadwick Boseman. That motherfucker was
on the cusp of I mean he already was a superstar,
(32:31):
but he could have been like a true legend. Yeah,
he had Next, you know, he was like up next
and then you know, I man, Yeah, that's it's crazy
that it was like four years not in the making,
but you know, four years along wild Ship. Yeah, dude, damn,
(32:52):
just like silently battling. It's just it's terrible. If I
get cancer, everyone will know. I know. That's what I
was thinking too. I'm like, but he was silent about it,
and he just was filming all these movies and never once.
But I feel like I would not shut up about
(33:12):
the cancer that I have. It would be at the
time of Adam, what's up cancer? Once again, just like
I did yesterday. It's been you know, six hundred days
with the cancer. I feel like I would not shut
up about it. Can you tie my shoes real quick?
It's just the cancer. I can't do it. I cannot
do it. I'm curious as to I don't know. I
(33:32):
haven't looked into why he I guess he just wanted
to like fucking just keep charging. Of course, well, because
he's like, uh, way better dude than I. I wouldn't
make it about me, for sure, And he was like,
you know what it's about the work, but I would
have been like I have to talk about myself. Yeah, sure,
(33:55):
that's what else. Way back in that day, I'll do
another and if you if you please hit us with it. Yeah,
I mean you brought it up just a baby, because yes,
because I did have one more. It was Chris Farley.
You know what did you see? Dude? If Chris Farley
would have still been around, I got a feeling we
(34:17):
would have been bros with that guy. He was, Yeah,
well that is true. I feel like we wouldn't know.
I feel like we wouldn't know Chris Farley. Now, like yes,
the thing that I mean you were like spot on,
Like these guys all, if you bring them back, they
could easily have the next weekend exploded their heart and
that would have been it. But you also have the
there could have been that could have been their rock
(34:37):
bottom and they climb out and then they could have
been a beacon for hope for everybody's struggling. Saying you're
extending their lives by twenty to thirty years, that's part
of what I said. So they're not dying. You were
saying that they die when they die. After that, what
are the rules. The rules are as they haven't died
in you're extending their life to see what they could
have accomplished for like, yeah, but how many years? So
(34:58):
what then they just don't die if they have their
like untouchable, so then they just die as an old person.
And they're not dying, Okay, they're dying of old age. Yes,
so they're immortal until until. I love it. And I
came with kind of a hackey game with the Barry kill,
and you came with an original game and I love
that and thank you for doing it. And that's putting
(35:18):
some thought into the pod, which I appreciate. But also, hey,
think if these fucking rules bring it to the table,
we should definitely talk it out. Thought about it. You know,
I took a swing Chris Farley. He's still alive. Has
he lost all the weight? Like? Is he straight edge?
Does he look like Rob Low now? But like the seat,
(35:39):
like the saggy skin under the T shirts and he's
all like straight edge and he's doing like drama. I
don't want to know that that is true. That would
be cool to watch, that would be sick. Well, admittedly
he did die like Kurt Cobain Kurt Cobain died at
peak level rock stardom, and to obviously we don't know him.
(36:01):
We weren't friends with the guy, so I'm sure his
friends are like, no, I'd love to see Kurt around
for the next forty years, but just as like a
person in the public eye to die at that level
and just be and just be like the pinnacle of
rock stardom, the impact at least for like people our
generation and you know, a slightly older I feel that's
(36:26):
the coolest. You wouldn't want to see Kurt Cobain then
just selling buicks like with his next album, you know
what I'm saying. I don't know, man, You give these
guys a second chance, you wonder what they're gonna do,
because now they when they die at peak, you know,
a peak performance in terms of fame, then they're sending
a message which is tough for like us to swallow
(36:49):
because it's like, well, okay, let's just fucking go hard
and you go as hard as you fucking can, because
that's what these guys did, and you have to be
okay with Hey, man, I might I might go at
least I'm fucking peak performance. You know what I'm getting
what I want. That's kind of a fun message. Yeah, well, yeah, hey,
welcome to this is important. We're taking hard stances. I
(37:12):
want to kill. There's but also most people see that's
what pisces me off when people are like, oh, like
I'm going to be a rock star, I'm gonna be
a comedian or an actor or whatever, so then I'm
going to do tons of drugs and ship. And you're like, well,
the people that did the drugs that are that are
the most famous. They're wildly talented, and they probably would
(37:36):
have been even more creative and even had more to
give if they did a little less drucks some drugs. Yeah,
because drugs are fucking rad but sure. But I also
don't think everyone is doing these drugs to be a
rock star. Some of them are. They're self medicating. That's true.
(37:59):
That is true. I got too, and these are selfish
because I just want to hear more music and see
what they would do. But a tribe called Quest put
out an album after five Dog Died, and it was
off the fucking Richter scale and validated everything I felt
about tribe in the nineties, And then like had to
(38:19):
sit around watching like New rappers come out and being
like all right, he's okay, he's okay, but like there's
a lot of garbage out there, tribe tribe, tribe, and
people are like this old ship and then they dropped
him album and it was dope. If he was back,
I would love to see what that next time would be.
M c A Beast boys died way too young. I
would love to see what those guys would do, and
what he would do specifically, like politically or whatever, because
(38:42):
he was just like the fucking man who did like
free Tibet concert, like way back in the day when
he was telly young. That's it's cool. It didn't come
off corny at all. Yeah, yeah, man, he was like
producing cool as movies and and like reaching out into
the art world and just like oh dude, totally yeah, yeah,
super dope. I would I agree with that. That would
(39:03):
be sick to see m c a absolutely oh man,
who else? I feel like like Tupac would be cool
just to like just his Oh yeah, that's a good one.
That is a good one. What would old man Tupac be? Yeah,
like he would be like the o G now and
to see him speak on everything. That's happening now. I
think would be very power really really fucking cool. Yeah,
(39:26):
oh yeah. You see all of his clips coming up
now and it's like this guy, fucking where are you now? Man? Like,
that's would be awesome. I think it's hilarious that you
guys think he's Oh well, that was my next question.
He's not actually that. I want to see Bob Dylan.
He's a line. He's a line at. Yeah, he just
(39:48):
won like a pulitzer, I think is still alive. What
did he get Nobel Pete's Prize and he just didn't
show up for it? They were like, where are you
peace Prize pace. Well, there's two folks that died that like,
but you didn't see them anyway, and that's Richard Pryor
and then um other dude, white dude from fucking Blazing
(40:12):
Saddles Wilder. You didn't see them anyway, but I'm like,
I still want them on this earth. They were Yeah,
they're missed that they did live a pretty like pretty
late in life though. Yeah, how old was Richard Pryor?
When he was pretty old something? Yeah, yeah, he just
died a couple of years ago, right, Yeah, but he
(40:32):
like disappeared thirty years ago, right, Yeah, I think I
don't know. I would have to look in. Yeah, Richard Pryor,
he was only sixty five years old when he died.
That's crazy. And what did he die of? Cancer? Was that?
What did he die? Heart attack? Jesus well, his heart
(40:53):
was under attack. That guy. That guy lived a life.
He definitely you see, like sixty five like on somebody
like Richard Pryor. I mean, he must have had been
sick beyond just the heart attack. But U and then
you see like my dad is like going to be
sixty five, and you're like, well he doesn't seem that old,
(41:16):
you know what I mean? Like it just goes to
show like I think my dad partied a lot when
he was younger. But then you go, like, I bet
Richard Pryor out party old Dennis d even my dad
parents parents are getting up there. It's getting real. Um
who else? Who else we get to bring back? That's it, man,
it's cut off. The portal is closing. Oh no, is
(41:37):
that how it works? Philip Seymour Hoffman, Philip Seymour Hoffman,
I'd I'd love to see him. Oh I was thinking
about Phillip Oh no, reach out your hand, but the
portal is closing. Ship you got sucked in kind meet
you at the crossroads. Yeah, Kyle, now you're over in
that side on the other side. My euse Kyle, he's
(42:06):
on the other side. I can hear him at night. Sweethearted?
Was Kyle? Uh? You know what? Just came on the
beach where I was working out. I work out like
on the beach, no big deal, and I'm an athlete
(42:28):
and um I it was just like randomly playing on
my iTunes or whatever, and the Wizards popped up. Nice.
I remember those guys. Those guys rock. They were cool. Yeah,
they were tight. If you guys remember the Wizards, they
were a pretty popular musical beans from another realm in
(42:51):
the early two thousand's. I believe the album came out
in two thousand eight or nine. Handsome Guys, handsome guys, beards,
really good looking guys, and they're on Spotify. You can
look them up. You can get it on iTunes, are they?
I don't think you can get it on iTunes. I
looked it up. It was go one now really yes,
(43:12):
it was strict Well I do know that it is
on Spotify. Hey, r N Entertainment huh, we got a
bone to pick with you something like that. Here's something Wait, guys,
portals opening up and zeld is entering my body? Holy ship,
what's up? Guys? Do you remember how cool it was
when the Wizards performed at south By Southwest at that
(43:33):
Workaholics house party. That was insane? That was tight. Hi,
Do you sound so similar? Yeah, dude, it's insane. What
was so cool about that house party is we the
workho guys were performing. We had a giant party season
after season one of Workaholics. There was like ten thousand
people on the guest list. Only five people could fit
(43:54):
inside this house. So we're having this huge house party.
There's line like literally like four or five blocks long,
like to Boston, Texas and Austin, Texas for south By Southwest,
And a goddamn magical portal opens up from a completely
different realm within the universe and outcomes three gangster rapping
(44:17):
Wizards four four four. And what it wasn't was the
four of us going into an alley, changing into out
of our clothes and putting on a wizard costume again
in an alley, and then going back into this house
party back. Now, it wasn't It definitely wasn't Freddie Gibbs,
(44:39):
the famous rappers Freddie watching the four of us change
into wizard costumes. It definitely wasn't currency smoking a blunt,
ask us what we were doing. Yeah, that was the party.
Was the ship. At that party, I drank We drank
(45:02):
beer for twelve hours and it was so hot and sweaty.
I didn't go to the bathroom. Once I passed myself.
It just no, it just came out of my body. Yeah,
I didn't understand it. Uh, yeah, that's I remember, like
wanting feeling bad that people were coming into the party.
We had this crazy huge guest list. Only people could
(45:25):
come into the party, and people weren't leaving at the
rate that we thought they were going to be. We
thought they'd come in for thirty minutes, grab a few beers,
meet us, hit the road. But people were coming in
and staying for four or five hours. So there wasn't
the turnaround that we wanted. And I was like, you
know what, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna toss beers
to people in the crowd that are in line waiting
(45:46):
out front. And I go out there holding multiple beers
with my shirt tight around my head and I hop
on the back of this guy's motorcycle and I'm tossing
beers out to people and chugging a Lone Star and
the cop just grabs me. And it's like, man, I
do not want to arrest you right now. I will
because this is an insane thing to do. But you
(46:08):
can't obviously, obviously you can't chug a beer on the
back of a motorcycle and pass out beer to random
possibly teenagers. We don't know, we're not checking I d s.
And that that was the level, that was the type
of party it was. It was fucking awesome. And remember
when Lee trash Talk trash Talk climb the tree. I
totally remember that. That was incredible. Yeah, that was insane.
(46:31):
So Lee, what's Lee last name? Blakers Spielman, Spielman mate
Spielman of trash Talk fame. So Lee, lead singer of
trash Talk. He climbs this, like, you know, the giant
tree in this backyard and jumps out of the tree
and then kids are climbing up the tree and diving
out stage diving, but essentially out of like a thirty
(46:53):
foot tree. And uh, they were the owner of the
house was like, now we're we're going to cancel the party. Yeah,
they fucking shut it down, so we're shutting it down.
And um. I also have a very funny video of
that party of my dad because my dad came. Do
you remember he comes right, yes, with his buddy and
they were so sunburned. Scotty Scotty the body. They pull up.
(47:16):
My dad was fishing in Mexico and it's like, a
are you doing? I do a great impression on my dad. Ay,
so were you're you're in Austin, Texas, right, Yeah, you're
doing that house party thing. We're bands and ship right
And I'm like, uh, huh, we're we'll we'll be there
in thirty minutes. And I'm like huh. And they were.
(47:38):
They were fishing and they just timed it right where
they were driving through Austin, Texas and they pull up.
You've never seen more sunburned people. Oh my god. St
was like peeling like like so it was my dad.
Like their skin was peeling off of their their face there.
They looked like fruit leather. They were like like Freddy Krueger.
(48:01):
They looked horrific. They look terrified, and my dad was
just having the best time of his life, and like
I called him out, like the first time we went
on stage to introduce the first act, I was like, hey, guys,
we're gonna have a great time. Blah blah blah. Uh.
My dad is in the audience right there, Dennis Divine
and his best friend Scottie the Body. U show them
(48:23):
a good time. And then these like twenty two year
old girls were just grinding on my dad for like
he was having the best time of his life. And
I remember videotaping him towards the end of the night
of these girls are like hilariously booty shaking on my dad.
And my dad sees me recording him and he's like, yeah, baby,
and then he realizes that I'm recording him. He goes no, no, no, no,
(48:47):
no no no, And I'm like why why not? He
like grabs a came He's like, don't tell your mother
started crying as if he was fucking these girls. And
then and then I talked to my my mom like
the next day, and then my mom immediately, which I
think he must have like must have been like I
(49:07):
gotta get ahead of this, because he was like, yeah,
I I called my mom and she said, Oh, so,
I guess your dad had a good time twenty two
year old girls were booty shaken on him. And I'm like, yeah,
I guess so. And she's like, oh, sounds like a
good time. Like wasn't worried about it at all because
(49:29):
she saw she probably saw his face and realized no
year old girl would ever want to sleep with this guy,
just face burned off a fifty year old man. I
had a chance, I swear I had a chance. Austin, Texas.
What a place. So that guy the body, remember the body?
And that night we all like somehow made it back
(49:50):
to that big place that we were staying in, that
big house, and we couldn't find Scotty, and you're like,
where's Scotty? Where where is Scotty? Was nowhere to be
found in the house. And then we finally go out
to the truck and he's sleeping like just corp straight up,
like sitting just in the chair, sitting in the driver's seat.
(50:11):
And then for the rest of the night we just
smoked a bunch of joints and were like, we found
the body. We found the body. And then the next
day my dad woke up at like a super human time.
Like we all woke up at like noon or you know,
because we're all hungover as ship my dad who partied
just as hard as us, We're already four hours on
the road. They like woke up at like eight am
(50:33):
or seven am or whatever and just got on the road.
And I talked to my dad later, I'm like, so,
what did Scotty the body ever come in and like
get a good night's rest? And he goes, no, you
just put the seat up right and we hit the road.
Definitely still drunk, for sure. He was still drunk without
a doubt. How many du i are done in the morning, Like,
(50:55):
there's gotta be a significant amount of DUIs in the morning.
That's probably a decent stat I love. Wait, hang on,
it was like a significant amount, yeah, compared to what
how many are done at night? I don't know, like
or what you think? I think that there's some. I
think there's a significant amount of night. Yeah, yeah, okay,
there's gotta be an ample amount of of I will
(51:19):
say this. I'm not gonna name names, but I have
a friend who got a d u I on the
way to school on like a late day. Yeah, but
who was it? I don't. I don't believe you. Allegedly.
Not allegedly, I'm not saying. Uh. We had these days
like every month where they'd be like it was called
the B Day. Students came like an hour and a
half late because the teachers all had like a meeting,
(51:41):
so parents would be gone from their house because they
go to work. We just go to somebody's house and
drink Big Bear forties and then my friend totally got
a d u I and everyone's like he was drunk
at nine thirty in the morning. Like parents are freaking out,
like that's crazy, Like maybe he's got an issue. That's
wild as you're just swallowing hole, that's so crazy, dude,
(52:03):
that's so crazy. Yeah, we used to do some of that.
We had an a B day as well, and it
was like block scheduling, so you would have like if
you had two blocks off in the middle of the day,
which I had my senior year, and then launches in
the middle. You had like four and a half hours
off in the middle of the day. So we would
go play like beer dice at my friend's house, and
then if you lost, you ended up chugging like six
(52:26):
or seven beers within like an hour and then you
have to go back to your class and I lost
and had to chug six or seven beers. Got back
to class and I was in your book photographer. So
my last class of the day was journalism and I
get in there and she was like, can I talk
to you? I'm like, what's up? And uh she said
that I yeah, what's up? And she's like, I'm gonna
(52:51):
fail you because you're not taking enough photos of like
the chess club and you're only taking photos of varsity
football and varsity basketball. And I'm like, well, yeah, those
are the fun things to take photos of, and don't worry,
I'm gonna get around to all the bullshit stuff. Cool guys,
you said bullshit, don't worry about it. But it was
(53:12):
my senior year, so you know, you know, I know
what I'm doing. And she's like, no, I'm I will
on the mid terms. I'm going to give you a D.
And I'm like, no, you're not. And she's like, and
I've already called your mother. You're drunk with power, yeah,
and and she's like you she already called my mother.
And so I'm like recently eighteen like a turned eight team,
(53:34):
like a month ago, and so I was like, I
am a man. You talked to me. You do not
call my mother, You do not call Penny. You talked
to Adam because I'm a man. And She's like, keep
the funk out of here. And so I'm like, I quit.
And I quit right then, and you quit school or
you quit I quit here. I quit your book. And
(53:55):
then I went and uh and got into another class
with another teacher who I went and sat down with
him right then and was like, can I talk to you?
It was AP psychology. I'm still drunk. The teacher who
I got into his class and for sure the year
book teacher probably couldtil I was drunk. This guy, we
(54:16):
found out later was a total alcoholic. He for sure
knew I was just fucking wasted. And he was like, yes,
you can be an AP psychology and I got an
advanced psychology just drunk as hell, get in here, buddy,
could be you can do it. Hey, we're going to
figure out the psyche to let me check my books. Uh,
(54:38):
sure you could be advanced. You look at aces hell
to me, brod you be advancing my parents. He was
a cool teacher though he would do cool stuff where
like we're pretty sure he's the one that smoked weed
in the in the hallway, and he called the whole
class out in the hallway and be like, hey, guys,
was the smell. Oh that's time. This dude is playing
(55:00):
of fire. That's weed. And he's like, yeah, that's what
I thought. Okay, everybody back in. We're gonna watch a
video about the effects of hallucinogens on the brain. And
then yeah, and then like as you're watching, you're like
black Sabbath video, and and my buddies that are in
the class where like, obviously he's the one that smoked
the weed or else it wouldn't have lined up with
(55:21):
his curriculum so perfectly that he would smoke weed and
then be like come out here and smell. This guy
was like begging to get in here watching pretty cool. Yeah,
he was cool. We would invite him to our like
you know how you have graduation parties and when you graduate,
(55:42):
and we'd invite him to those graduation parties and he
would come and fucking pound beers with our parents. It
sounds kind of sad. And I went back home for
like the Fourth of July parade. I saw one of
my old teachers at the parade is hammered and we
did not get along. But he was probably a cool guy.
And I was like a piece of ship. And he
(56:03):
was like, hey you and I'm like, oh, hey, what's up.
This is like a couple of years out of college.
He's like, what are you doing. I'm like, I live
in all he goes and uh he was like me,
divorce doesn't matter. And I was like okay, and uh
now I'm like this dude is fucking tight. Yeah, so
now this guy freaking rules divorce doesn't matter. I never
(56:27):
loved her anyways, all right. I was like, you're human, now, dude,
let the guard down. And then he plays Mary Funk
Kill with Mary Funk killing you and two friends of
yours from high school. You're like, what, you don't have
to do this. We gotta go. Mr. I would have
fucked you just so you know. Yeah, I can tell
I gotta go eat my ass, eat my And with that,
(56:53):
are there any hallbacks, takebacks, apologies, or compliments. They're called acts.
Is a new one? I like, well, there's a lot
of callbacks. There's eat my favorite jokes. One of the
favorite jokes. We'd like to talk about everything that came up. Well,
I will say regarding Mary Kill, zero apologies. Okay, No,
(57:15):
that's just how we feel and that's just deep seated
and we obviously it seems like we wants to fuck
me the most. And I will compliment Blake on what
a fun game bringing what famous person that's dead would
you bring that? That's a great idea of things. Well,
it sucks that you went first, because I was also
going to compliment Blake on and having that fun game.
(57:36):
Not all the rules were hammered out, but and that
was part of the fun about it is we were
figuring it out as we're going. And this is why
this this cast is fully casting. That's right, babe, that's
it out of you nearly right on the head with
that one. The cast and cast and baby dude, we're
(57:57):
casting away caught one can have casting uh and casting
a fishing line. I'd like to compliment Dennis Divine on
his party attitude when we were in south By Southwest
like ten years ago. Shout out his his ability to
get up in the morning and handle his biz and
go home to his wife after crying him with twenty
(58:18):
two years old. I think that was just compliments to
the chef. I hope my parents listen to this together
and they get it in an argument ten years after
the fact, they will, they will all checks out. Yeah,
anybody who gets up early, shout out to you. Yeah.
And you know, I originally I was going to apologize
(58:38):
for not having the rules hashed out to my game,
but after hearing your guys praise for me, I I
really appreciate it. I won't apologize for that, and I
will continue to think of zany games with rules, I guess,
and that is important. Is important, alright, See you next
week on Aaraters do a hand a little pasta
Welcome to This Is Important, a production of My Heart Radio,
this show where we talk about what's obviously most crucially
important today on This Is Important. He's got a Furburwerd
for sure. I got you the old spice. You're gonna
go with me. Pat, you can cozy up me and
my pamp Jeels. Let it lose. If the animal doesn't
(00:25):
feel like coming out, they have to let you know
that the animals not coming out. And that's what's up.
And here we go. For me, I'm team ring all
day long. We're talking about the cameras at the front
of the house to make sure people aren't shifting on
your doorstep for any weird stuff, home security cameras, the
cameras at the front of your house and the back
(00:47):
and all around and inside for some people. I know Isaac, Well,
I got robbed like a handful of years ago. That's
when I put mine up and my neighbor told me,
this is how shitty neighbors are in Laws Angeles, Like
they truly don't give a fuck. The guy my neighbor
was like, oh yeah, I told him I got robbed
and he was like, oh yeah, I saw someone digging
(01:09):
through your trash wearing scream masks. What two guys? And
I'm like, you didn't think to call the police, and
he goes, no, I just figured it was someone just
looking for cans or something. And I'm like, in a
screen mask, that's so terrifying, that's amazing. Yeah, they were
actually robbing your house in screen masks. Apparently that's kind
of baller until you're stabbed to death by the way
(01:33):
your neighbor robbed you and then told you there were
some people with scream masks going through your garbage, so
that you're totally thrown Yeah, oh yeah, because the first
thing you're thinking is, well, it's definitely not this asshole
who just saw them. It didn't tell me look at
me sherlock home. All of a sudden, I just hear
him playing on a Casio keyboard holding an antique rifle.
(01:58):
Is that what was taken from you? Yeah, there's like
two things got stolen. Who plays a keyboard? You play keyboard?
My yeah, man, I tickle the ivories They're not ivories?
Are plastic on a keyboard player? Well, dude, these are
This was elite level Cassio. Damn you kill the elephant.
It wasn't mine. It was my x GF and she
tickled the ivories your x GF. This is many moons ago, Kyle.
(02:22):
This is like moving on, Kyle, baby, I gotta keep
up up my ex. Uh, you're not catching me on? No?
No ship dog? Yeah no, okay, my bad, My bad, homie.
So are you guys worried about getting broken into or
you just you know, this is just how you have
to live life. Now. You gotta have a ring or
a nest or a beam. Yeah. Man, it's basically to
(02:44):
keep all the fans out the cript for you. It's
the fans. It's crazy. It's actually just creature cams because
you'll just catch like possums, raccoons, rats, called a bobcat.
That's scary. I'll be honest. I have a fear of bobcats.
Wild Cats scare me. Big cats, links mate. Wildcats scare me.
(03:06):
They're unpredictable. They're unpredictable. Yeah, but they're so dang nice. Man.
You can't predict them at all. That's one thing I
gave here. And you can never predict cats. I heard
that cats wait to attack you when you turn your back. Okay, yes,
a dog will come at you head on. Cats wait
till you turn around, and then they pounced. Really, I
(03:27):
swear to gold. I was out riding my bike the
other day and there was like out of nowhere. I'm
like on this river trail and out of nowhere because
I'll be cycling out of know where, Like five coyotes
came just like we're running across the river trail because
it was you know, it's all it's l a sort
of things just dried out, and they come running across.
(03:48):
And suddenly I was like, am I about to fight
six coyotes? That would be epic. They fully just did
not care and just all ran all around me on
every side. But for a second, I was like, I'm
gonna have to fight to the death some kyotes due
they might have been cheering you on. That could be
your cheer squad out where I live. Like sometimes in
the middle of the night, the packs of coyotes will
(04:08):
get something and they will just go crazy, like crazy
and you hear the animal that they got, like screaming
and stuff. It is the most like fucking leave me alone,
Leave me the funk alone. No, don't kill me, Oh
not my face, don't eat my face first, eat my
ass first. Oh, just please eat my ask honey, honey,
(04:33):
the coyotes are out there again, eat my ass, please
eat as first? Oh god, why not my face? Just
just focus on the ass, please, What are you doing
out there? That's what I'm definitely saying that. I'm definitely
saying that one if I if I get attacked by anything,
it's just like, please eat my ass first. Then Kyle
(04:54):
just walks into the woods, just asked first, just ready
to get gobbled? Are you going to the woods again.
I'm laying traps. I'm laying more traps. Just eat my ass,
Eat my ass. That's what I hope my ghost says
in the afterlife. If you die first, I want you
to haunt us with eat my ass eat. Remember Workaholics
(05:18):
when we had a dog eat my ass and it
was like, oh yeah, what it was the bulldog from
Modern Family. That was like, well it licked mountain dew
code red out of your butt crack. That was That
was the episode. That was the entire episode. Now what
was what was the plot. It was the one where
we went back to school and I was teasing the
(05:41):
National Guard or the Coastguard. The Coastguard, yeah, oh sure, sure,
sure they like tracked me down with their dog and
they're like, poor code Red, down this buck crack and
make the dog with it, and like in a TV show,
you're like, ha ha, that's that's funny. How are we
practically doing this? And everyone's like, we're putting peanut butter
on your butt and then we're gonna have a dog.
(06:03):
That's practical. Movie magic Baby, we did you the justice
of not putting it in near the hole. It was
like on your cheek, right, the justice probably fell hell
a good service. Yeah, but you think the dogs can
be like, oh, I'll be right over here. Yeah, no,
it went for it. He live the credit card. I
was on set. That was a good morning. That was
(06:24):
a really good morning. Fantastic morning. I'm surprised the animal
people weren't like absolutely no way, because they're they're pretty
fucking weird. The animal people on every set, every set
you come to, they're always you know, God bless them.
They're doing God's word. Allegedly, Allegedly they're fucking weird. Allegedly
(06:45):
they're fucking psycho. But every time they're like they're just
always you know, totally insane. Yeah, they have to because
their friends are animals. They aren't programmed to talk to humans. Yes,
they show up on set and they speak for the animals.
So if the animal needs a trailer, they have to
get the animal trailer at the game. That's what's up, hey,
(07:08):
that and that is what's up well, and so that's
their whole job. I couldn't have put it better myself. Man.
That was so crystal clear and poignant and real, and
thank you. And that is what's up. That is important.
This is important, and that was important. What you just
said it was important. Yeah. Anytime I can get the
(07:28):
opinion of a robot like yourself, I love it. Kyle.
I don't know if you know what just happened. But
you cut out and you just been and then came
back and with and that's what's up. Oh oh no,
I did not know that that happened. Sorry about that.
We weren't shifting on whatever you just said, like, we
(07:49):
just we came in real hard on whatever you said.
You're like, I thought that was pretty uh pretty stuff. Well,
I was saying some dumb shit about how like the animal,
like if the animal doesn't want to come to set,
then the person speaks for the animal, and that's how
fucking strange. They are the animal never wants to come
to set. I'll say that these fucking a little score.
If I'm honest, neither do. Okay, I'd rather be watching TV.
(08:13):
But you're an animal in your own right. Yeah, yeah,
the animal of the crew. Yeah, party animal, party animal. Baby. Hey, guys,
this is important, fuck mary, kill each other. Oh god,
this game. I feel like I've played this a million
times with you guys? Can I do all three to
(08:33):
all of you? That's what I always say, Well, you
can can't, but that's not how you play the game. No,
you marry first, then you have sex. It's obvious. It's obvious.
What I would do? What what's so obvious? I would
marry Blake? Okay, thank you, because we got a great relationship,
has been you know, for years now, since we were young.
(08:55):
So you don't want to kill him as all right?
I would. I would suck Adam be is what? Yeah,
I would suck you. Well, I'll probably let you let
you fuck me. Um Jesus Christ. Well you know it's easy.
It's simple. This is simple stuff, simple science. Okay, why
why are you fucking me because of my ass? Yeah?
I'm curious, I'm curious about you, you know, I'm curious
(09:17):
about the way that you fuck. And I would kill unders.
Oh my god, damn uh why would you kill me?
I would kill hounds? Why would you kill me? Yeah?
What the hell? Because man is some deep seated ship. Bro.
It just goes back to like it goes. It goes
into it. You know. We don't need to get into it,
but it's in therapy. Yeah, and we're bad. I mean,
(09:40):
Kyle just fist fought. Our fists exploded when we hit
each other at the exact same time. I don't want
to kill you. I would have to, just because that's
how the games played. It is. It is a hard game. Yeah,
it's tough. I honestly would have loved to see you
guys fist fight in your prime. Kyle's a little a
little pastor, I know, but in our prime destroy Yeah,
(10:04):
right now, there's would beat us all up. There's was
a guys. I've seen Kyle Box. Now I'm obviously the
most athletter you're doing all right, I've seen Kyle Box.
He's crazy. He reaches down inside of him and fights
with a anger that you've never seen before. Also, don't
have the cigarettes anymore, so I kind of got, you know,
I got a little stamina. I would love to see
how far back Kyle winds up before he punches. Well,
(10:28):
me and Kyle have fought a handful of times, and
it's it's always absolutely insane. The reach he's got you on.
The reach reaches absurd. I remember one time we got
in a fight. I don't even remember what was about.
It doesn't matter. It was stupid, but we got in
a fight and and I climbed Kyle like a fucking
tree and then was gripping him as hard as I
(10:50):
could so he couldn't swing on me. And then the
entire party was outside. They all came back in at
the exact same time and just saw it looked like
Kyle was fucking me into the wall. But this is
weird after you just said that you would this kind
but uh, but they were like, what's going on? And
(11:10):
we're like, we're fighting, and they're like, kind of doesn't
look like you're fighting at all. And that was the
night that you kept showing me your fists. Do you
remember that you kept showing me your fists and being like, oh,
these big check hands. You're lucky I didn't connect with
these big check hands, because I did swing back like
ultra like you were able to dodge a punch from me,
(11:32):
because I did swing back well for sure, because the
wind up was absurd. It was like a wind up
has to be huge. It's like a Mike Tyson punch
out character. Yes. Yeah, do you remember what we were
drinking earlier in that night at him? Can? I guess? Yeah?
Was it Thunderbird? Was it night Train? Oh? It was Thunderbird.
(11:55):
It was night Train, a mixture. But I was thinking
Sparks Sparks, yes, of course. Well I didn't even think
about that. I was just thinking about the pimp juice
that we were drinking. Me and my pimp joice, let
it lose. Can we get Pimpchus to sponsor our podcast?
I mean pim just didn't have alcohol, correct, it was
(12:15):
just an energy drink. Yeah, pimp choice was only energy.
Sparks was good. Sparks Sparks basically sponsored my twenties. Yeah,
that ship was Spire. I feel like a lot of
people don't know about Sparks. Sparks was a full on
alcoholic energy drink. Yeah, that was pretty good. They had
to have just like some kid's heart exploded and they
(12:35):
were like, we gotta stop right. It was. It was
good tasting, and I felt it was pretty popular. Some
kid just at f S. You just had one too
many Sparks and that ignited the explosion within him. Had
to it for sure. Allegedly, there's no If they want
to come back, though, we will be the poster boys Sparks.
(12:57):
Well wait, hang up, we're not. We're not done with
Mary kill. Oh you guys just want to tell me
you went off me? No, dude, I got I've already,
I've already. I'm already one up on on the getting
fucked Okay, I'm the one getting fucked right now. I'm
gonna I'm gonna go. Cannot wait, cannot wait. I'm gonna
(13:17):
marry Adam. Can everyone hear me? Here's Kyle the only
one who's gargling. Okay, that's just Kyle's digestive system. I'm
in the bit shape of my life. Sorry Kyle, roasting you?
Oh my god? Any who I would marry Adam, thank you,
(13:40):
But you have to give reasons why. I'm I can
usually give reasons when I'm not fucking cut off, wifey.
This is what it would be, would be us going
back and forth, giving each other ship. We can still
fun right because you're married. Yeah you do fun woulden
You're married? Good, good good, check that box. So it's
fuck fuck kill. It's a different kind of fucking blake
(14:02):
and this is love making it. So I moved. I
move into your place on the beach. I'm on your boat,
just some tanning while you drive. You wear big gass
hats like Chloe. Oh yeah, I'm getting golden out there,
baby nice. I'm working on one screenplay for the rest
of my life. It's like starring you and it's not
(14:26):
good and you're like, yeah, no, I just think and
it all takes place like in Catalina. Yes, it's called
the Wine Mixer and it's about a cat named Lena.
Watch out for cats, dude, they attack you when you
turn your back. True, Who am I fucking? Who am
I killing you already? No, bitch, I'm killing cot dead boy,
(14:49):
you dead boy. And I was gonna say I'm fucking
blake because he's got that that long hair to grab
onto from the back. Um, and I just feel like
you would let me live out that fantasy. And then
I was like, well, wait, Kyle has that hair. And
then it was like, I'm not interested in his dark
ass butt crack hair. I'm not into it. No, you don't.
You don't want to work with the hemmys. I wouldn't
(15:10):
let you near it. You got you got to die,
that got to die. The fishers in the hemmys. I'd
be screaming out of pain, not pleasure. Baby fishers in
the hemmys. If you're just tuning in now, this is important.
This is and it's important. Your diet and your fiber
intake is incredibly important if you wanna, you know, survive
(15:30):
with fishers and hemorrhoeids. So so that's it. It really
boils down to the dark pubic region of Kyle. It's
just turned off to me fair enough, and Blake having
built in the handles just for control stability. Jesus, I
get it. I get it. I like, I like you
(15:50):
got too real for Blake all It's like, Jesus, what
is this game? I don't feel like you're supposed to
go ads in depth. I just wanted to just say
the names and who you gotta go. I'm going to depth.
You've gotta go in depth. The depths are alright, So Blake,
what's your story no, like if I really, if I
(16:13):
really start to play it out, there's like reasons I'd
kill Kyle. There's reasons i'd marry him. I never would
want to suck Kyle. I just never. He's just one friend.
I just I don't know. I think one friend, you'd
suck every other friend. Gotta every Wow, I've ran this
scenarios through my head with everybody, and I come, that's
(16:35):
incredible to me. Like to me, that's when Blake's having
a hard time going to sleep. He's like, let me
just run the rolodex. If every friend I've ever had
and what I want to suck them? Yes, yes, yes,
it comes to Kyle no way and l yeah yeah.
But the thing is every other friend he's fucking nah yeah.
(16:56):
And it's like we're best friends and ship, but not
for that. You know. Well, i'd say I love Kyle
to death, but I do. When I imagine fucking Kyle,
I imagine, uh, I imagine just the hair going like
connecting to your asshole, like it's just full. It's not
even that hairy though. I mean, you guys are tripping.
(17:17):
You guys got a lot going on in your imaginations.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, but this is the imagination. This
is the picture that we're we're painting. It's because I've
been open about my fissures and your and your hemmyes.
Yes that you can say it. You can go ahead
and shame me for that for my medical reasons and
just blame it on the hair. We are we are.
You know what it is? I think that Demi Moore
(17:39):
photo from like the eighties, when you remember that photo
where it's like you just see how Harry. Uh, That's
what I imagine, Kyle. But then the rest of him
doesn't look like anymore. Yeah, yeah, minus the Demi Moore.
He's got a fur burger for sure, fur burger right
between the cheeks. Okay, so continue, Okay, So I think
(17:59):
I got it. Okay, are definitely fucking Adam. I'm giving
him back shots. What's up with that luscious dumper? So wait,
I got to I gotta, I gotta marry. I got
and two fox. That's pretty good. That is pretty good.
And I was going back and forth on this, but
(18:20):
you know what, I will also take your hand in marriage, Kyle.
I would love to live out a quiet life in
the woods with you where we just read books on
a porch and drink lemonade, and and I take care
of your hammies. Yes see, now that I can provide
for you, I can absolutely provide you the solace in
nature and build you a garden and pick apples for
(18:42):
you from the orchard. And and here's the deal with Hoders.
Here's the deal with Anders. I don't want to kill him.
I need to Okay, I need to see this guy
like no, I want a chilke to joke. Yea, all right,
(19:03):
I want to cut you up, put you in a box,
and just drop you off the edge of a boat.
Let's see if you could swim. Hey, man, I got
the boat. Hey yeah, and you know who's driving that boat?
Your husband? Thank you? Wait a second, was this all
just deployed to murder me? Yeah? This is we'll take
stirs out on your mistress's boat. Who you're fucking? But
(19:23):
your your husband's cool with it, so we're all going
out together too, because also I want to suck your mistress.
Oh you gonna funk me too? Man. Well, I mean,
if we're just playing this out, that's what's up. And
this is Catalina. Yeah, we steal your screenplay. Yeah, they
take they take the screenplay and make it. It's a hit. Yeah,
(19:46):
it's a hit. And Hathaway stars in it. Yeah, Adam
wrote it and Hathaway as I just wrote it. Yeah,
I was like, I don't know, it just popped out,
and this is really good. It's like I just tried once.
It's the first draft. I don't know who I thought
CAT named Lena. It's genius. It's almost like you've been
writing it for twenty five years and just pouring over
this one idea. No first draft. It just poured out
(20:10):
of me. You already know the sequel, the sequel. It's like,
I know what you did last summer. I come, but yeah,
and I cut everybody with the brads that keep the
pages togeether slice slice paper cuts. Maybe I don't know,
I'll play with it. Who's making these small cuts? Guy
(20:30):
was found with over a hundred brads stuck in his body.
The detective is just Eric Griffin. Yeah, that's his body. Okay,
are you really doing? Are you doing a character? Who
is this person? It's mate? It is not man. I
(20:50):
don't get enough respect. I do not get enough respect
as a detective? How good as detective? How come I
we get one take? You give the guys five takes,
watch we go for an hour on this that'd being said,
I would, uh, I would watch that. Riffin about Griffin,
Riffin about Griffin, riff Bog Griffin shout out to his
podcast Riffing with Griffin, Eric Griffin Homeboy from Work Coholics Montes.
(21:13):
It's a lot easier than he makes it look. It's
a lot easier podcast, a lot easier that it looks.
So wait, Adam, Adam, did you go? Did I not?
You gotta do yours, don't you? You didn't do it?
I think it. Dur's is the one who you guys
(21:33):
know better than I. Durst had the whole story. You
don't remember me describing your body already blanked it out, dude,
it was grossed all right, Adam, what's your deal? Uh? No,
I did not. I did not go. And you're trying
to skip it, bro, Yeah, uh you know I'm going
(21:56):
to have to. I'm marrying Blake because I think I
think we would get along well. I think we would
grow old together. We could go see he could teach
me about his music's you'd let me have the playlist? Yeah, you'd, you'd.
I would give you the OX cord and you could
just spin some new tunes and I would always be
(22:18):
hip and cool and connected with with the cultures. I
like that. Let's go to India together. Yes, you'd take
me to fun shows and I'd get to wear my
leather jackets. Oh should I love it when you wear
the leather jacket. Yeah. And I'd get to wear my
leather jacket and just be like, oh, this is fun.
We never do this anymore, We never do this anymore.
(22:41):
And you're like, yeah, bab oh, yeah, I'm taking you,
taking your out, showing you what's up. That being said,
I have a side piece. Oh ship, Yeah, I got
a side piece. And this one I know it's gonna
get wild and nasty because he was an ex collegiate
(23:02):
athlete honors home. We fucking baby, baby, we fucking we
fucking And that is not and I and Kyle, I
don't want to kill you. I don't want to kill you. No,
I know, I don't want to kill you. It's just
because I don't want to fuck you. And I and
that you have to die because I don't want to
(23:24):
suck you. And that is the game. I wish you
could live. I wish you could Honestly, I would love
to see you as an old man, and you're right
up there. You know you might have gotten second place.
You might have, but I'm not admitting that. So you're saying,
if there is some super fucked up scenario where there
is a person gun to Kyle's head and they're like,
(23:46):
there's only one way you could save this dude, you
have to him, you would say, well, that's not the game.
It's fun Mary killed. That's a new game. The game
is if he fox him the other person died. Yeah,
I would suck any one of you guys, if that's
the case. I'm just letting you know a new game. Well,
the only reason I picked Durs to fuck is because
he is a hairless man. What is it with you
guys in hair? Why are we so afraid of hair
(24:08):
as a culture? What is happening where? I don't know, Hey,
it's just how we're built. There's a smell with you
as well, Kyle. There's a smell to and there it is. Yeah,
but the smell is natural. Baby, But Juli oil, there's
like oils and ship. Yeah, I got you the old spice.
You're gonna go with me? Pat, you can cy up.
(24:28):
So we who the funk killed me? Adam killed me,
DRS killed me? Yeah, I got killed twice, Get over it. Yeah,
I married you, We married each other. We both so
put me and Der's are the only ones that got killed.
Wait I didn't get killed at all. I didn't get
killed either. Yeah, you guys both just got fucked and married,
which to be fair, man, put me out of my misery.
(24:48):
Can I tell you something that'll put you at ease? Yeah,
you're no body to somebody kills you. I didn't know
where you're going with. Yeah, I was like that. I
didn't know you could sing that well, that was really
impressive and only sing this way otherwise, Like I just
(25:13):
I can't. That's it. Like the horse and top secret
secret something I was wanting to ask you fellas a
little a little question and is it important? It's very important,
(25:34):
and I want you to really think about it, okay,
And I was jogging on I'm thinking, I'm thinking, hey,
if you could take back a death and make a
person who maybe you know passed away before their time
and grant them like twenty or thirty or maybe they
only had five years left, but somebody like to put
them back into society and see what they would have
(25:57):
done with their time, like a famous person. It could
be famous person. I don't know. If you want to
get really real and there's a friend that you're like,
was super impactful for you? Yeah, the game is for
a famous person. That would be a little more fun.
I would say, I think the listeners would That's okay,
because I'm down to talk about I want one more
(26:17):
rubarb pie. She made dope rhubarb pie. Really, I don't
think I've ever had that pie. Oh man, you because
you eat rhubarb and it's a little sour and you
think this is gonna make a shitty pie. Our villa
gets her her old wrinkly fingers on on that frost.
(26:39):
Automatically super sweet, super delicious. It was. Yeah. I think
she poured a lot of sugar. Whenever he was like,
did you just put rubarb into a pie? It becomes sweet? Uh?
Like all grandparents food is delicious until you see them
make it, until you're in the kitchen and you're like, oh, oh,
that's why our families so bees? Is that the reason?
(27:03):
That is the reason it's butter? Did you guys? Do
you guys ever have something called I think people call
like ambrosia salada, but we called it fluffy salad and
it's just like marshmallows coconut and like manas wait, the
white flagship of barbecue, Like yeah, we we also called that.
(27:24):
We called it cranberry fluff. There would go and it's
off the chain. It's so gross, man is it? The
mini marshmallows are the big marshmallow mini mini, but they're like, yeah,
I think I've had that. I think I've had that.
They're like soggy and wet. That's when when I was
a kid, I would just get a tray of that.
That would be like my go. But when I went
back for round two of Thanksgiving, I would just get
(27:47):
a tray of that. And then I look back at
photos and I was like, well, that's why I was
a fat, a little kid. Adam have green beans, have
a green bean, but even green beans in the Midwest,
they like cover it with cheese and and crutons and
ship Yeah, which is bomb. Yeah, it's you know, it's delicious.
Wait a second, who are we bringing back? Who are
we bringing back? I'm like I'm really contemplating. Okay, let's
(28:09):
do too, Let's do a personal and then a celebrity
or just do a celebrity. Celebrity well, I don't know.
We can talk about Rubard Polis might be some hot
content there. Well, dude, I'll go celebrity. Is Adolf Hitler?
Is he a celebrity or is he just come on?
Hear me out, we bring back Hitler. He goes, oh
(28:34):
my gosh, and it's like hispanic accident. Oh my gosh,
thank you, thank you so much for bringing me back.
And I go, I go, look, Hitler, here's my plan.
I'm gonna fucking kill you again. Wait, hold on, hold on,
and then I kill Hitler. And then everyone's like, let me,
let me put another another What am I called on this?
(28:55):
You're just extending their life from when they're on earth,
so they never passed away. They lived like twenty years
on or thirty years on beyond when they passed away.
Are you sacrificing anything to do this or that doesn't matter.
You're changing the rules And I'm not doing that. No.
I'm not saying like, bring somebody from the like hey,
oh now, all of a sudden, fucking Gandhi's here. I'm
saying like he didn't pass away at the time. He
(29:18):
wasn't lived on. This isn't Bill and Ted. We're not
transporting people from the past into our current future. Well
then what's the fun in that? Well, it's like who
in your life did you see pass or somebody that
you would want to change history or something. So with Hitler, Hitler,
you could do that, but you can't kill him because
you weren't alive. But I want you want to kill
(29:39):
him like I want to kill you. You need to
kill you would have to have like your grandpa would
have to kill him. I guess what I was just thinking.
I was like, I guess where it all came from.
As I was thinking, man, it would have been freaking
sick to still have like Jimmy Hendricks around. I would
have liked to hear Old asked Jimmy Hendrix, like blues
playing and see what kind of outfits that guy would
be still, But are you afraid Jimmy Hendrix would just
(30:02):
suck for JIMMI Hendrix would like all of a sudden,
be like the Sharman guy where he's like like he
sold out. Yeah, you know what I mean, like he
like sells toothpaste. It's possible, but I'd like to think
he would have been like a really cool source of
creativity to this day, I got a feeling that even
(30:22):
he would have died again, Like I think like that
there was wild times, man, people were just dying. Yeah, yeah,
Like he dies the next day. Yeah, did he die
of a heroin overdose or was that a ham sandwich?
Or how did he go? Know? He was he was
asphyxiated in his sleep, Like he puked and then just
choked because he was so fucked up? Are you guys
(30:43):
kind of surprised that that hasn't happened to any of us?
Not believe it? Yeah, Like I've had a few nights,
like not recently, a few weeks ago, uh no, like
years ago that we're like you wake up and you're
in a working lot or something. Well, this is like
why I stopped drinking because I was so afraid of that.
(31:04):
But even having thrown up in your sleep, I've done
it like three or four times. Yeah, yeah, And to
be fair, I think a lot of the ways that
that goes down, not that I would ever, you know,
you gotta drink responsibly, but I think it's sometimes when
you mix it with like muscle relaxing or you do
something that really knocks you out. So your body when
(31:26):
you do, if you do drink irresponsibly and throw up
in your sleep, your body will wake up to that like,
holy fun, what is happening. But when you have that
stuff in your system, you just start like you woke
up every time correct STRs or did you wake up
and there's just puke on your bed? The weirdest thing
is I'm still asleep. Yeah, I know I would wake
(31:47):
up the next morning and there'd be puke on my bed. Like,
so I must have been like to the side, sure, yes,
but so that was like you you either woke up
and noticed you were like your podcasting with a ghost.
Eat my my asked, eat my ass, blakes, the callback
came on. I need to get back in that improv baby,
(32:08):
zip zip baby, I'm itching for callbacks. It would be
cool to see what Heath Ledger would have done. Ship.
That's a good one. Yes, that's a good one. That's
a really good one, dude, I think that would have
been That's probably my go to. That would be good. Well,
I mean the newest is Chadwick Boseman. That motherfucker was
on the cusp of I mean he already was a superstar,
(32:31):
but he could have been like a true legend. Yeah,
he had Next, you know, he was like up next
and then you know, I man, Yeah, that's it's crazy
that it was like four years not in the making,
but you know, four years along wild Ship. Yeah, dude, damn,
(32:52):
just like silently battling. It's just it's terrible. If I
get cancer, everyone will know. I know. That's what I
was thinking too. I'm like, but he was silent about it,
and he just was filming all these movies and never once.
But I feel like I would not shut up about
(33:12):
the cancer that I have. It would be at the
time of Adam, what's up cancer? Once again, just like
I did yesterday. It's been you know, six hundred days
with the cancer. I feel like I would not shut
up about it. Can you tie my shoes real quick?
It's just the cancer. I can't do it. I cannot
do it. I'm curious as to I don't know. I
(33:32):
haven't looked into why he I guess he just wanted
to like fucking just keep charging. Of course, well, because
he's like, uh, way better dude than I. I wouldn't
make it about me, for sure, And he was like,
you know what it's about the work, but I would
have been like I have to talk about myself. Yeah, sure,
(33:55):
that's what else. Way back in that day, I'll do
another and if you if you please hit us with it. Yeah,
I mean you brought it up just a baby, because yes,
because I did have one more. It was Chris Farley.
You know what did you see? Dude? If Chris Farley
would have still been around, I got a feeling we
(34:17):
would have been bros with that guy. He was, Yeah,
well that is true. I feel like we wouldn't know.
I feel like we wouldn't know Chris Farley. Now, like yes,
the thing that I mean you were like spot on,
Like these guys all, if you bring them back, they
could easily have the next weekend exploded their heart and
that would have been it. But you also have the
there could have been that could have been their rock
(34:37):
bottom and they climb out and then they could have
been a beacon for hope for everybody's struggling. Saying you're
extending their lives by twenty to thirty years, that's part
of what I said. So they're not dying. You were
saying that they die when they die. After that, what
are the rules. The rules are as they haven't died
in you're extending their life to see what they could
have accomplished for like, yeah, but how many years? So
(34:58):
what then they just don't die if they have their
like untouchable, so then they just die as an old person.
And they're not dying, Okay, they're dying of old age. Yes,
so they're immortal until until. I love it. And I
came with kind of a hackey game with the Barry kill,
and you came with an original game and I love
that and thank you for doing it. And that's putting
(35:18):
some thought into the pod, which I appreciate. But also, hey,
think if these fucking rules bring it to the table,
we should definitely talk it out. Thought about it. You know,
I took a swing Chris Farley. He's still alive. Has
he lost all the weight? Like? Is he straight edge?
Does he look like Rob Low now? But like the seat,
(35:39):
like the saggy skin under the T shirts and he's
all like straight edge and he's doing like drama. I
don't want to know that that is true. That would
be cool to watch, that would be sick. Well, admittedly
he did die like Kurt Cobain Kurt Cobain died at
peak level rock stardom, and to obviously we don't know him.
(36:01):
We weren't friends with the guy, so I'm sure his
friends are like, no, I'd love to see Kurt around
for the next forty years, but just as like a
person in the public eye to die at that level
and just be and just be like the pinnacle of
rock stardom, the impact at least for like people our
generation and you know, a slightly older I feel that's
(36:26):
the coolest. You wouldn't want to see Kurt Cobain then
just selling buicks like with his next album, you know
what I'm saying. I don't know, man, You give these
guys a second chance, you wonder what they're gonna do,
because now they when they die at peak, you know,
a peak performance in terms of fame, then they're sending
a message which is tough for like us to swallow
(36:49):
because it's like, well, okay, let's just fucking go hard
and you go as hard as you fucking can, because
that's what these guys did, and you have to be
okay with Hey, man, I might I might go at
least I'm fucking peak performance. You know what I'm getting
what I want. That's kind of a fun message. Yeah, well, yeah, hey,
welcome to this is important. We're taking hard stances. I
(37:12):
want to kill. There's but also most people see that's
what pisces me off when people are like, oh, like
I'm going to be a rock star, I'm gonna be
a comedian or an actor or whatever, so then I'm
going to do tons of drugs and ship. And you're like, well,
the people that did the drugs that are that are
the most famous. They're wildly talented, and they probably would
(37:36):
have been even more creative and even had more to
give if they did a little less drucks some drugs. Yeah,
because drugs are fucking rad but sure. But I also
don't think everyone is doing these drugs to be a
rock star. Some of them are. They're self medicating. That's true.
(37:59):
That is true. I got too, and these are selfish
because I just want to hear more music and see
what they would do. But a tribe called Quest put
out an album after five Dog Died, and it was
off the fucking Richter scale and validated everything I felt
about tribe in the nineties, And then like had to
(38:19):
sit around watching like New rappers come out and being
like all right, he's okay, he's okay, but like there's
a lot of garbage out there, tribe tribe, tribe, and
people are like this old ship and then they dropped
him album and it was dope. If he was back,
I would love to see what that next time would be.
M c A Beast boys died way too young. I
would love to see what those guys would do, and
what he would do specifically, like politically or whatever, because
(38:42):
he was just like the fucking man who did like
free Tibet concert, like way back in the day when
he was telly young. That's it's cool. It didn't come
off corny at all. Yeah, yeah, man, he was like
producing cool as movies and and like reaching out into
the art world and just like oh dude, totally yeah, yeah,
super dope. I would I agree with that. That would
(39:03):
be sick to see m c a absolutely oh man,
who else? I feel like like Tupac would be cool
just to like just his Oh yeah, that's a good one.
That is a good one. What would old man Tupac be? Yeah,
like he would be like the o G now and
to see him speak on everything. That's happening now. I
think would be very power really really fucking cool. Yeah,
(39:26):
oh yeah. You see all of his clips coming up
now and it's like this guy, fucking where are you now? Man? Like,
that's would be awesome. I think it's hilarious that you
guys think he's Oh well, that was my next question.
He's not actually that. I want to see Bob Dylan.
He's a line. He's a line at. Yeah, he just
(39:48):
won like a pulitzer, I think is still alive. What
did he get Nobel Pete's Prize and he just didn't
show up for it? They were like, where are you
peace Prize pace. Well, there's two folks that died that like,
but you didn't see them anyway, and that's Richard Pryor
and then um other dude, white dude from fucking Blazing
(40:12):
Saddles Wilder. You didn't see them anyway, but I'm like,
I still want them on this earth. They were Yeah,
they're missed that they did live a pretty like pretty
late in life though. Yeah, how old was Richard Pryor?
When he was pretty old something? Yeah, yeah, he just
died a couple of years ago, right, Yeah, but he
(40:32):
like disappeared thirty years ago, right, Yeah, I think I
don't know. I would have to look in. Yeah, Richard Pryor,
he was only sixty five years old when he died.
That's crazy. And what did he die of? Cancer? Was that?
What did he die? Heart attack? Jesus well, his heart
(40:53):
was under attack. That guy. That guy lived a life.
He definitely you see, like sixty five like on somebody
like Richard Pryor. I mean, he must have had been
sick beyond just the heart attack. But U and then
you see like my dad is like going to be
sixty five, and you're like, well he doesn't seem that old,
(41:16):
you know what I mean? Like it just goes to
show like I think my dad partied a lot when
he was younger. But then you go, like, I bet
Richard Pryor out party old Dennis d even my dad
parents parents are getting up there. It's getting real. Um
who else? Who else we get to bring back? That's it, man,
it's cut off. The portal is closing. Oh no, is
(41:37):
that how it works? Philip Seymour Hoffman, Philip Seymour Hoffman,
I'd I'd love to see him. Oh I was thinking
about Phillip Oh no, reach out your hand, but the
portal is closing. Ship you got sucked in kind meet
you at the crossroads. Yeah, Kyle, now you're over in
that side on the other side. My euse Kyle, he's
(42:06):
on the other side. I can hear him at night. Sweethearted?
Was Kyle? Uh? You know what? Just came on the
beach where I was working out. I work out like
on the beach, no big deal, and I'm an athlete
(42:28):
and um I it was just like randomly playing on
my iTunes or whatever, and the Wizards popped up. Nice.
I remember those guys. Those guys rock. They were cool. Yeah,
they were tight. If you guys remember the Wizards, they
were a pretty popular musical beans from another realm in
(42:51):
the early two thousand's. I believe the album came out
in two thousand eight or nine. Handsome Guys, handsome guys, beards,
really good looking guys, and they're on Spotify. You can
look them up. You can get it on iTunes, are they?
I don't think you can get it on iTunes. I
looked it up. It was go one now really yes,
(43:12):
it was strict Well I do know that it is
on Spotify. Hey, r N Entertainment huh, we got a
bone to pick with you something like that. Here's something Wait, guys,
portals opening up and zeld is entering my body? Holy ship,
what's up? Guys? Do you remember how cool it was
when the Wizards performed at south By Southwest at that
(43:33):
Workaholics house party. That was insane? That was tight. Hi,
Do you sound so similar? Yeah, dude, it's insane. What
was so cool about that house party is we the
workho guys were performing. We had a giant party season
after season one of Workaholics. There was like ten thousand
people on the guest list. Only five people could fit
(43:54):
inside this house. So we're having this huge house party.
There's line like literally like four or five blocks long,
like to Boston, Texas and Austin, Texas for south By Southwest,
And a goddamn magical portal opens up from a completely
different realm within the universe and outcomes three gangster rapping
(44:17):
Wizards four four four. And what it wasn't was the
four of us going into an alley, changing into out
of our clothes and putting on a wizard costume again
in an alley, and then going back into this house
party back. Now, it wasn't It definitely wasn't Freddie Gibbs,
(44:39):
the famous rappers Freddie watching the four of us change
into wizard costumes. It definitely wasn't currency smoking a blunt,
ask us what we were doing. Yeah, that was the party.
Was the ship. At that party, I drank We drank
(45:02):
beer for twelve hours and it was so hot and sweaty.
I didn't go to the bathroom. Once I passed myself.
It just no, it just came out of my body. Yeah,
I didn't understand it. Uh, yeah, that's I remember, like
wanting feeling bad that people were coming into the party.
We had this crazy huge guest list. Only people could
(45:25):
come into the party, and people weren't leaving at the
rate that we thought they were going to be. We
thought they'd come in for thirty minutes, grab a few beers,
meet us, hit the road. But people were coming in
and staying for four or five hours. So there wasn't
the turnaround that we wanted. And I was like, you
know what, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna toss beers
to people in the crowd that are in line waiting
(45:46):
out front. And I go out there holding multiple beers
with my shirt tight around my head and I hop
on the back of this guy's motorcycle and I'm tossing
beers out to people and chugging a Lone Star and
the cop just grabs me. And it's like, man, I
do not want to arrest you right now. I will
because this is an insane thing to do. But you
(46:08):
can't obviously, obviously you can't chug a beer on the
back of a motorcycle and pass out beer to random
possibly teenagers. We don't know, we're not checking I d s.
And that that was the level, that was the type
of party it was. It was fucking awesome. And remember
when Lee trash Talk trash Talk climb the tree. I
totally remember that. That was incredible. Yeah, that was insane.
(46:31):
So Lee, what's Lee last name? Blakers Spielman, Spielman mate
Spielman of trash Talk fame. So Lee, lead singer of
trash Talk. He climbs this, like, you know, the giant
tree in this backyard and jumps out of the tree
and then kids are climbing up the tree and diving
out stage diving, but essentially out of like a thirty
(46:53):
foot tree. And uh, they were the owner of the
house was like, now we're we're going to cancel the party. Yeah,
they fucking shut it down, so we're shutting it down.
And um. I also have a very funny video of
that party of my dad because my dad came. Do
you remember he comes right, yes, with his buddy and
they were so sunburned. Scotty Scotty the body. They pull up.
(47:16):
My dad was fishing in Mexico and it's like, a
are you doing? I do a great impression on my dad. Ay,
so were you're you're in Austin, Texas, right, Yeah, you're
doing that house party thing. We're bands and ship right
And I'm like, uh, huh, we're we'll we'll be there
in thirty minutes. And I'm like huh. And they were.
(47:38):
They were fishing and they just timed it right where
they were driving through Austin, Texas and they pull up.
You've never seen more sunburned people. Oh my god. St
was like peeling like like so it was my dad.
Like their skin was peeling off of their their face there.
They looked like fruit leather. They were like like Freddy Krueger.
(48:01):
They looked horrific. They look terrified, and my dad was
just having the best time of his life, and like
I called him out, like the first time we went
on stage to introduce the first act, I was like, hey, guys,
we're gonna have a great time. Blah blah blah. Uh.
My dad is in the audience right there, Dennis Divine
and his best friend Scottie the Body. U show them
(48:23):
a good time. And then these like twenty two year
old girls were just grinding on my dad for like
he was having the best time of his life. And
I remember videotaping him towards the end of the night
of these girls are like hilariously booty shaking on my dad.
And my dad sees me recording him and he's like, yeah, baby,
and then he realizes that I'm recording him. He goes no, no, no, no,
(48:47):
no no no, And I'm like why why not? He
like grabs a came He's like, don't tell your mother
started crying as if he was fucking these girls. And
then and then I talked to my my mom like
the next day, and then my mom immediately, which I
think he must have like must have been like I
(49:07):
gotta get ahead of this, because he was like, yeah,
I I called my mom and she said, Oh, so,
I guess your dad had a good time twenty two
year old girls were booty shaken on him. And I'm like, yeah,
I guess so. And she's like, oh, sounds like a
good time. Like wasn't worried about it at all because
(49:29):
she saw she probably saw his face and realized no
year old girl would ever want to sleep with this guy,
just face burned off a fifty year old man. I
had a chance, I swear I had a chance. Austin, Texas.
What a place. So that guy the body, remember the body?
And that night we all like somehow made it back
(49:50):
to that big place that we were staying in, that
big house, and we couldn't find Scotty, and you're like,
where's Scotty? Where where is Scotty? Was nowhere to be
found in the house. And then we finally go out
to the truck and he's sleeping like just corp straight up,
like sitting just in the chair, sitting in the driver's seat.
(50:11):
And then for the rest of the night we just
smoked a bunch of joints and were like, we found
the body. We found the body. And then the next
day my dad woke up at like a super human time.
Like we all woke up at like noon or you know,
because we're all hungover as ship my dad who partied
just as hard as us, We're already four hours on
the road. They like woke up at like eight am
(50:33):
or seven am or whatever and just got on the road.
And I talked to my dad later, I'm like, so,
what did Scotty the body ever come in and like
get a good night's rest? And he goes, no, you
just put the seat up right and we hit the road.
Definitely still drunk, for sure. He was still drunk without
a doubt. How many du i are done in the morning, Like,
(50:55):
there's gotta be a significant amount of DUIs in the morning.
That's probably a decent stat I love. Wait, hang on,
it was like a significant amount, yeah, compared to what
how many are done at night? I don't know, like
or what you think? I think that there's some. I
think there's a significant amount of night. Yeah, yeah, okay,
there's gotta be an ample amount of of I will
(51:19):
say this. I'm not gonna name names, but I have
a friend who got a d u I on the
way to school on like a late day. Yeah, but
who was it? I don't. I don't believe you. Allegedly.
Not allegedly, I'm not saying. Uh. We had these days
like every month where they'd be like it was called
the B Day. Students came like an hour and a
half late because the teachers all had like a meeting,
(51:41):
so parents would be gone from their house because they
go to work. We just go to somebody's house and
drink Big Bear forties and then my friend totally got
a d u I and everyone's like he was drunk
at nine thirty in the morning. Like parents are freaking out,
like that's crazy, Like maybe he's got an issue. That's
wild as you're just swallowing hole, that's so crazy, dude,
(52:03):
that's so crazy. Yeah, we used to do some of that.
We had an a B day as well, and it
was like block scheduling, so you would have like if
you had two blocks off in the middle of the day,
which I had my senior year, and then launches in
the middle. You had like four and a half hours
off in the middle of the day. So we would
go play like beer dice at my friend's house, and
then if you lost, you ended up chugging like six
(52:26):
or seven beers within like an hour and then you
have to go back to your class and I lost
and had to chug six or seven beers. Got back
to class and I was in your book photographer. So
my last class of the day was journalism and I
get in there and she was like, can I talk
to you? I'm like, what's up? And uh she said
that I yeah, what's up? And she's like, I'm gonna
(52:51):
fail you because you're not taking enough photos of like
the chess club and you're only taking photos of varsity
football and varsity basketball. And I'm like, well, yeah, those
are the fun things to take photos of, and don't worry,
I'm gonna get around to all the bullshit stuff. Cool guys,
you said bullshit, don't worry about it. But it was
(53:12):
my senior year, so you know, you know, I know
what I'm doing. And she's like, no, I'm I will
on the mid terms. I'm going to give you a D.
And I'm like, no, you're not. And she's like, and
I've already called your mother. You're drunk with power, yeah,
and and she's like you she already called my mother.
And so I'm like recently eighteen like a turned eight team,
(53:34):
like a month ago, and so I was like, I
am a man. You talked to me. You do not
call my mother, You do not call Penny. You talked
to Adam because I'm a man. And She's like, keep
the funk out of here. And so I'm like, I quit.
And I quit right then, and you quit school or
you quit I quit here. I quit your book. And
(53:55):
then I went and uh and got into another class
with another teacher who I went and sat down with
him right then and was like, can I talk to you?
It was AP psychology. I'm still drunk. The teacher who
I got into his class and for sure the year
book teacher probably couldtil I was drunk. This guy, we
(54:16):
found out later was a total alcoholic. He for sure
knew I was just fucking wasted. And he was like, yes,
you can be an AP psychology and I got an
advanced psychology just drunk as hell, get in here, buddy,
could be you can do it. Hey, we're going to
figure out the psyche to let me check my books. Uh,
(54:38):
sure you could be advanced. You look at aces hell
to me, brod you be advancing my parents. He was
a cool teacher though he would do cool stuff where
like we're pretty sure he's the one that smoked weed
in the in the hallway, and he called the whole
class out in the hallway and be like, hey, guys,
was the smell. Oh that's time. This dude is playing
(55:00):
of fire. That's weed. And he's like, yeah, that's what
I thought. Okay, everybody back in. We're gonna watch a
video about the effects of hallucinogens on the brain. And
then yeah, and then like as you're watching, you're like
black Sabbath video, and and my buddies that are in
the class where like, obviously he's the one that smoked
the weed or else it wouldn't have lined up with
(55:21):
his curriculum so perfectly that he would smoke weed and
then be like come out here and smell. This guy
was like begging to get in here watching pretty cool. Yeah,
he was cool. We would invite him to our like
you know how you have graduation parties and when you graduate,
(55:42):
and we'd invite him to those graduation parties and he
would come and fucking pound beers with our parents. It
sounds kind of sad. And I went back home for
like the Fourth of July parade. I saw one of
my old teachers at the parade is hammered and we
did not get along. But he was probably a cool guy.
And I was like a piece of ship. And he
(56:03):
was like, hey you and I'm like, oh, hey, what's up.
This is like a couple of years out of college.
He's like, what are you doing. I'm like, I live
in all he goes and uh he was like me,
divorce doesn't matter. And I was like okay, and uh
now I'm like this dude is fucking tight. Yeah, so
now this guy freaking rules divorce doesn't matter. I never
(56:27):
loved her anyways, all right. I was like, you're human, now, dude,
let the guard down. And then he plays Mary Funk
Kill with Mary Funk killing you and two friends of
yours from high school. You're like, what, you don't have
to do this. We gotta go. Mr. I would have
fucked you just so you know. Yeah, I can tell
I gotta go eat my ass, eat my And with that,
(56:53):
are there any hallbacks, takebacks, apologies, or compliments. They're called acts.
Is a new one? I like, well, there's a lot
of callbacks. There's eat my favorite jokes. One of the
favorite jokes. We'd like to talk about everything that came up. Well,
I will say regarding Mary Kill, zero apologies. Okay, No,
(57:15):
that's just how we feel and that's just deep seated
and we obviously it seems like we wants to fuck
me the most. And I will compliment Blake on what
a fun game bringing what famous person that's dead would
you bring that? That's a great idea of things. Well,
it sucks that you went first, because I was also
going to compliment Blake on and having that fun game.
(57:36):
Not all the rules were hammered out, but and that
was part of the fun about it is we were
figuring it out as we're going. And this is why
this this cast is fully casting. That's right, babe, that's
it out of you nearly right on the head with
that one. The cast and cast and baby dude, we're
(57:57):
casting away caught one can have casting uh and casting
a fishing line. I'd like to compliment Dennis Divine on
his party attitude when we were in south By Southwest
like ten years ago. Shout out his his ability to
get up in the morning and handle his biz and
go home to his wife after crying him with twenty
(58:18):
two years old. I think that was just compliments to
the chef. I hope my parents listen to this together
and they get it in an argument ten years after
the fact, they will, they will all checks out. Yeah,
anybody who gets up early, shout out to you. Yeah.
And you know, I originally I was going to apologize
(58:38):
for not having the rules hashed out to my game,
but after hearing your guys praise for me, I I
really appreciate it. I won't apologize for that, and I
will continue to think of zany games with rules, I guess,
and that is important. Is important, alright, See you next
week on Aaraters do a hand a little pasta
Hosts And Creators
Anders Holm
Kyle Newacheck
Adam Devine
Blake Anderson
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