March 31, 2023 • 21 mins
Description: For the first time, Kalie publicly talks about being queer in country music and why she felt pressured to stay closeted professionally. She also talks about the heinous laws that are attacking LGBTQIA+ people in Tennessee, and across America.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, I'm Kaylee Shore, and this is too much to
say before we even get started on anything else. I
really want to comment on the Nashville shooting. I can't
believe we're still dealing with mass shootings now. I don't
know how many more it's going to take, and I
don't know what more to say about it. I already
(00:21):
did a whole episode after Vivaldi, so what I want
to do is just a moment of silence in honor
of the victims. There were the teachers and staff, Mike Hill,
Katherine Koontz, and Cynthia Peak, and then the three nine
year olds, Evelyn deek House, William Kinney, and Hallie Scruggs.
(00:52):
I really hope we reach a solution to this sooner
rather than later. I made a post about it on Instagram.
I just don't feel like anything I say is um
gonna be enough, so we're just gonna leave it at that.
But just feels weird to talk about anything else. But
I also do not know what else to say. Um.
(01:13):
So with that being said, let's get into the episode
Questions Out You. So this episode is one that I
(01:34):
have had planned since since I started the podcast, since
twenty twenty, and I've wanted to do it for a
very long time. UM, and I frankly was not allowed to.
But given the way the world is right now, and
specifically Nashville, in Tennessee and I mean really just America, UM,
(01:57):
it feels wrong to not talk about this given that
I'm watching my community suffer, and I don't even feel
like I can talk about it, Okay. So I have
debated doing this episode for about three years. Ever since
the podcast started in twenty twenty, I have had this
(02:18):
idea to do it, and for many reasons, I didn't.
And there's two reasons why I'm finally choosing now. One
is because of what's happening to my community in Nashville
and Tennessee specifically, but also everywhere in the country and
the world, but just having it be so close to home.
There's a lot of legislation attacking queer people, specifically trans people,
(02:46):
and I'm going to talk more about that later, but
I feel the need to stand with my community and
a community that I feel so welcomed and at home in.
I have so many queer friends. I've just been surrounded
by that community since I knew I was queer. So
that's one reason I want to talk about this. And
then secondly, a teenage girl in my life who's very
(03:08):
important to me. I won't say who because she's still
figuring out how she wants to come out herself came
out to me and has a girlfriend. And I was
telling her, I'm like, you should be so empowered, like
there's nothing wrong with that, Like I'm so proud of
you for being so like knowing that about yourself at
such a young age, and like, you know, the girlfriend's
parents are very supportive, and she's so happy, and I'm
(03:30):
telling her all this and she knows damn well that
I am not out publicly, and I was like, oh,
I'm a little bit of a hypocrite here, aren't I.
And I just was like, you know what, I can't
in good faith tell her that and then not practice
what I preach. So we are here. I think that
there's there are levels of privilege within the queer community
(03:53):
one hundred percent. There's a lot of infighting within any
minority group, but within the queer community you still see
a lot of transphobia, a lot of racism, a lot
of ableism, I mean all within this community. And I
just want to acknowledge like the privilege that I have
as a queer woman in a straight relationship. I'm dating
(04:16):
a man, so nobody needs to know that I'm gay
unless I tell them. It doesn't mean that I've had
any less of an experience with homophobia or like you know,
struggling with that feeling, but it does mean that, like
I don't I can go in public with my boyfriend
and not have people say horrible things. Although when I
(04:36):
dated a girl that was a completely different story. But
I just want to acknowledge that. And I also feel
like there's a lot of God, I just I didn't
on Twitter too much, but there's a lot of discourse
on Twitter about whether or not a celebrity is queer
abating if they're in a straight relationship but they're talking
about their sexuality and like they want to, you know,
(04:56):
be part of the cool queer club, and it's just
like it does nobody's fun business for starters. Like there's
a lot of discourse when Billie Eilish was like, you
know what, I just don't know, and people are like
she's queer baiting, and it's like she's a teenager, Like
she's figuring it out. And and also yeah, it being
queer as a spectrum. You might not feel like you
(05:18):
could ever date somebody of the same gender, but be
attracted to them, and that's okay. There's a lot of
types of men that I'm attracted to, but I would
have never dated because I, you know, have self worth.
But don't mean I was only less attracted to him.
And yeah, it just doesn't It just doesn't have to
be and you don't have to define it by anything.
(05:39):
And that is why I personally prefer the word queer.
I think it's all encompassing. It tells people, hey, it's
not your business, but I'm not straight. And also I
feel like it applies to me mostly because I really
just don't care about gender. I don't care if they're
a man or woman or no gender at all or
non binary. I just I like hot people who make
(05:59):
me laugh, that's my type. And smell good. That's also
that's very important as well. And it's it's really that simple.
So I just I personally like the word queer, but
I would never be offended if someone called me bisexual,
band sexual, because those applied to I just like the
word queer most okay, So I think there's there's a
(06:20):
lot of biophobia within the queer community as well, and
it makes you feel really invalid if you wind up
in a heterosexual relationship or even just like yeah, it's
it's like you feel guilty for turning your back on
being gay, but you didn't. You just fell in love
with someone. And the whole point of it is like
(06:42):
you can fall in love with anyone. And I made
a TikTok because that's like the only place I kind
of even allude to being queer on the Internet, and
that's been like a little soft launch on there. But
I was like, I am not any less queer just
because I accidentally started dating a man. Um that's what
it was, you know. I just I like who I like,
and just that one happened to stick. It wasn't because
(07:05):
he was a man. It's because I love him. And
I will say, like, that's a completely different experience dating
a man than dating a woman. I oh god, it
was really hard. Back in like twenty nineteen, I was
dating a girl and you know, actively in country music,
(07:25):
had a team who told me I couldn't come out,
that it was going to be like career suicide, and
I just would I was out to everybody in my
life when I was dating her. That's when I finally
came out to my parents, to a way better reaction
than I anticipated. But I would hide like when we
(07:46):
were like, I was so worried when we were in
public on dates that be like a fan would see
me or somebody I knew in the music industry, and
I was really afraid that someone would, you know, take
a screenshot of me on a dating app where I
was like, you know, talking to women. I was really
afraid of that, and it was just like this constant
(08:06):
anxiety and just really hard because I did believe that
would be career suicide. And I had a team that
was just not supportive of me coming out and was like, oh, well,
you're dating Sam, so you're not gay anymore. I'm like, well,
that's not how that works. That's literally that's not how
that works even a little bit. And shit like that
feels so invalidating, especially to the amount of struggles that
(08:30):
I've dealt with being queer. I mean, like I grew
up in the church, like, for fuck's sake, like I
truly believed I was going to help for this and
would pray every Sunday in church, that God would make
me ungay and forgive me for making out with a
girl the night before or whatever. And yeah, I just
I felt horrible and that doesn't go away just because
(08:51):
I'm dating a guy. That experience and that self hatred
and that internalized homophobia. I also dealt with a lot
of stuff, Like I had an old roommate who I
lived with, who I was friends with, tell me, well,
I don't approve of your lifestyle, but you know, I
love everybody. Jesus says loves everybody. And I was like,
(09:12):
I live with you. Like I feel so fucking unsafe
in this environment because like, yeah, I'm dating a guy,
but you're still telling me that, like you think. I'm like,
oh God, and I can't believe people my age even
have that fucking opinion. It's so fucking annoying. And like,
there was just a lot of stuff that I dealt with,
(09:34):
especially when I was dating this girl we'll call her Mandy.
Mandy and I dated for significant, significant period of time
for me in twenty nineteen because I wasn't having very
long relationships and I'd had a lot of other, you know,
situationships with girls, especially in high school, but like we
(09:56):
didn't know what to call it, because like we were
gaslighting ourselves of thinking that we were, you know, queer.
We were like, oh no, we just like make out
when we're drunk, huh. And then it would just happen
when we were drunken. Then it was like, oh my god,
we're just like so silly, goofy, like, and then we'd
have these horrible like we'd hate each other's boyfriends and
just like be like way too opinionated on each other's
(10:18):
lives and just have this toxic dynamic. And in retrospect,
I'm like, that was a girlfriend. Like that was super
a fucking girlfriend. And like almost all of my high
school friends are out at queer now, which makes perfect sense.
But I distinctly remember the closest I ever came to
coming out was there's this blog like music outlet called
(10:41):
Sounds Like Nashville, and they reached out to my team
and said, um, hey, we know Kaylee has been really
vocal in her support of the queer community. We'd really
love if she could write an essay like as an
ally for Pride Month. We're just having people you know
in country music do this, and we'd really love her
to be a part of it. And I was like, yeah, absolutely,
(11:01):
And I wrote the article about like unlearning hatred that
you're taught and growing up Christian thinking gay people are
going to hell and like unlearning that. And I wrote
my essay and the person who I submitted it to,
like or my manager submitted it to, was like, oh, um,
is Kaylee? Is Kaylee an ally or a member of
(11:23):
the community, because like you could freaking tell. I mean, like,
this is like the least surprising news anybody's probably ever
heard in their lives, Like and I'm out to every
single person in my personal life, like everyone, so it's
just high time for this. But um yeah, I my
team member responded and said, um oh no, no no, just
an ally And I was like god, really excited for
(11:45):
a second because I thought I was gonna be able
to come out and then I wasn't. And I just like,
I feel so at home with queer people. I know
that it's my community, like I've always been drawn to
members of the LGBTQ plus community, but also just like
you know, you understand each other's problems. I mean, I
(12:07):
have friends of all shapes and sizes and identifications and
you know whatever, But like, I really feel at home
with those people. I feel at home in a lesbian bar,
I feel at home at a gay bar, and I
just don't want to not be part of that club
publicly when I'm totally part of it privately. And I
(12:30):
just am tired of hiding like fifty percent of myself
because I'm scared. So and again, why I wanted to
talk about this finally is because there's a lot of
legislation happening in Tennessee that is just blatantly attacking the
queer community. So I'm going to read about that next.
But thank you guys for listening. Hope you enjoy the
(12:51):
title of this one. I was really proud. I literally
came up with the title of this three years ago,
so it feels good to finally get off my chest.
We'll be right back, okay. So, being queer in Tennessee
(13:12):
is harder than anybody in my generation can remember it being.
There's a lot of legislation. One that's been passed recently
is HB one slash SP one, passed in the House
and the Senate. It goes into effect July first, twenty
twenty three, and it requires all transgender teams in the
(13:33):
state of Tennessee to de transition between July of twenty
twenty three and March of twenty twenty four. Most care
is going to discontinue July first, even though they don't
have to be de transition till March, because a lot
of doctors are going to be afraid of losing their
license and so they're going to stop treating trans people.
(13:54):
If you want to learn more about that, Southern Equality
dot org slash TN resources will provide you with a
much more articulate, in depth information about that. But that's
really really fucking awful. And the attack on trans kids
is unbelievable. They attract on trans people is unbelievable. And
I feel like, I know that I have so much
(14:16):
privilege as a white cisgender woman who can hide being
queer whenever she feels like it, and trans people are
just being put through the ringer, and I just, I
really really feel the need to stand with them. I
have so many trans and non binary friends, and this
ship just breaks my fucking heart. Another big one that
(14:37):
affects the queer community at large is Tennessee rejected federal
HIV funding from the Center for disease control. That was
in twenty twenty, Tennessee had nineteen two hundred and fourteen
HIV cases total. That wasn't new infections, that was total,
but that's still a very very large number. They're the
(14:58):
funding that they're turning down could prevent five hundred or
more infections a year. And the HIV funding isn't just
testing or treatment, it's all these different things. And I
personally had to take an anti like a preventative HIV
medication called true Vada, which a lot of gay men
(15:19):
will take, a lot of you know, people will take
if they're sexually active. If you're concerned about that, you
should absolutely take it. But it just prevents you from
lowers your chances of getting HIV. And so I was
sexually assaulted and at the Nashville Sexual Assault Center they
give that to you because if a rapist is raping you,
(15:40):
if a rapist is raping you without a condom, and like,
they don't sorry, that's not going to be the line
they draw on the morality stand. They're not going to
be like, oh, but I gotta tell her before I
rape her that I have HIV. Like no, So you
just never know and I was like, yeah, I want
to take it. I got really sick. It was really awful,
but I was really happy, Well happy, it's not the
right word. I was very I was very thankful that
(16:02):
that resource existed for me, because that would have been just,
I mean, just another awful thing on top of something
that was already awful. So it is not just where
people that that affects. It's it's everybody who's actually active
in the state of Tennessee or is a victim of
sexual assault, and that's just fucked up. Like imagine just
being like, no, we don't we don't want the federal funding,
the free money. We don't want that because gay people
(16:25):
get aids. It like gay people get cancer. Like it's
just I mean, oh, it's so upsetting. There's so much
in fighting within the LGBTQ plus community, so much of
(16:45):
which I see on Twitter. You see a lot of
trans exclusionary radical feminists who are lesbians just needlessly attacking
trans women, invalidating them, and I just like, it's so
heartbreaking to know that anybody who knows what it feels
like to be marginalized for how you identify and what
(17:10):
you are, it feels so awful that they could inflict
that on somebody else, And I really hate seeing that,
especially within, you know, the community that I've been closest to,
which is the lesbian community. And I hate, I just
I fucking hate it. And so I just don't want
to be part of the problem. And trans people and
trans people of color have specifically have done so much
(17:34):
work from Stonewall, which was like a huge turning point
in the gay rights movement, to just the advocacy, to
the fact that they are one of the highest, if
not the highest group of people like demographic that gets murdered.
Like this isn't just we're not just talking about like
when people are attacking trans rights, They're not just like
(17:55):
talking about sports teams. They're not just talking about how
somebody gets to dress walking up and down the street.
People fucking die. People are literally dying. And I would
just hate myself if I didn't do anything about it
and I didn't talk about it. And I also just
I want to stand with my community, and I you know,
(18:19):
I all of my trans girlfriends were advocating really like
outspokenly for reproductive rights and like abortion, even though they
can't get pregnant. They don't care. They they're they're advocating
for their fellow women, and that's all you're doing when
(18:40):
you're advocating for for trans women and trans people, is
like other members of your community, within the gay community,
within the female community, all of those things. And it
just feels simple to me. It just feels so simple,
and I'm like, I just get so angry. Um. I
want to leave this episode with something from a queer
thought leader named Leo Herrera. You can follow him on
(19:05):
Instagram at Herrera Images. I really really love his perspective
and he posted something the other day that just gave
me chills. But he said, bigots love to act like
queers are new and anti LGBTQ laws are groundbreaking. They
are not criminalizing. Queer folks are ancient wars. History teaches us.
(19:25):
They bust out the laws when they're losing the culture war.
Turn on TikTok and TV. Honey, it's over. We are
the queerest generation since the nineteen sixties. Why we saw
so many anti gay school initiatives quote unquote for the
children in the seventies when quote unquote cross dressing and
sodomy we're still illegal. When our spaces were still being
rated when we still managed to lead a cultural revolution.
(19:46):
The laws only made us more clever and fired up.
This is a playing field queers have a hundred years
of experience with in America. Criminalizing, with its bureaucracy and
political followut is usually a last resort with those biggots.
Don't want you to understand is that they are the
cornered animals, not us. Yes, that makes them very dangerous,
but baby, the heels on our big feet are way
older than the boots at our neck. And I really
(20:09):
loved that. So that's off my chest. That feels really good.
I had no idea how to go about this, and
I really thought about it for a long time. I
didn't want to issue a press release and be like, hey, guys,
Keane Shore, who's like dating a man she's likely going
to marry, has dated women in the past, Like that's
just so, I don't want anyone to think I'm doing
(20:30):
this for attention. I feel like I see a lot
of stuff online accusing people of doing that, and I
think that's inherently rather biphobic, but whatever, But I just
I really am coming from a good place, and I
felt like the best place I could do. This was
on my own podcast, where I already just talk about
myself every week, and I can just get this off
my chest. I've provided some resources in the description for
(20:53):
queer people in Tennessee and queer people in general, so
if you are questioning and you feel like you don't
know where to turn, I'm going to provide some resources.
And um, I'll probably do another episode on this as
I feel more articulate, but honestly, as a little nervous,
I had to take some beta blockers and drank a
glass of wine even though it's only like four pm
when I'm recording this, because I was really nervous. So, um, yeah,
(21:16):
that's off my chest and I can just fucking say
it now. That's really exciting. I'm you know what I'm
gonna go do. I'm gonna upload this podcast and then
I'm gonna go put a fucking rainbow emoji in my
Instagram bio. That's what I'm gonna do, chairs bitches. Um,
thank you guys for listening. I'm Kaylee Shore and this
is too much to say, but don't you questions it out.
(21:46):
You
Hey, I'm Kaylee Shore, and this is too much to
say before we even get started on anything else. I
really want to comment on the Nashville shooting. I can't
believe we're still dealing with mass shootings now. I don't
know how many more it's going to take, and I
don't know what more to say about it. I already
(00:21):
did a whole episode after Vivaldi, so what I want
to do is just a moment of silence in honor
of the victims. There were the teachers and staff, Mike Hill,
Katherine Koontz, and Cynthia Peak, and then the three nine
year olds, Evelyn deek House, William Kinney, and Hallie Scruggs.
(00:52):
I really hope we reach a solution to this sooner
rather than later. I made a post about it on Instagram.
I just don't feel like anything I say is um
gonna be enough, so we're just gonna leave it at that.
But just feels weird to talk about anything else. But
I also do not know what else to say. Um.
(01:13):
So with that being said, let's get into the episode
Questions Out You. So this episode is one that I
(01:34):
have had planned since since I started the podcast, since
twenty twenty, and I've wanted to do it for a
very long time. UM, and I frankly was not allowed to.
But given the way the world is right now, and
specifically Nashville, in Tennessee and I mean really just America, UM,
(01:57):
it feels wrong to not talk about this given that
I'm watching my community suffer, and I don't even feel
like I can talk about it, Okay. So I have
debated doing this episode for about three years. Ever since
the podcast started in twenty twenty, I have had this
(02:18):
idea to do it, and for many reasons, I didn't.
And there's two reasons why I'm finally choosing now. One
is because of what's happening to my community in Nashville
and Tennessee specifically, but also everywhere in the country and
the world, but just having it be so close to home.
There's a lot of legislation attacking queer people, specifically trans people,
(02:46):
and I'm going to talk more about that later, but
I feel the need to stand with my community and
a community that I feel so welcomed and at home in.
I have so many queer friends. I've just been surrounded
by that community since I knew I was queer. So
that's one reason I want to talk about this. And
then secondly, a teenage girl in my life who's very
(03:08):
important to me. I won't say who because she's still
figuring out how she wants to come out herself came
out to me and has a girlfriend. And I was
telling her, I'm like, you should be so empowered, like
there's nothing wrong with that, Like I'm so proud of
you for being so like knowing that about yourself at
such a young age, and like, you know, the girlfriend's
parents are very supportive, and she's so happy, and I'm
(03:30):
telling her all this and she knows damn well that
I am not out publicly, and I was like, oh,
I'm a little bit of a hypocrite here, aren't I.
And I just was like, you know what, I can't
in good faith tell her that and then not practice
what I preach. So we are here. I think that
there's there are levels of privilege within the queer community
(03:53):
one hundred percent. There's a lot of infighting within any
minority group, but within the queer community you still see
a lot of transphobia, a lot of racism, a lot
of ableism, I mean all within this community. And I
just want to acknowledge like the privilege that I have
as a queer woman in a straight relationship. I'm dating
(04:16):
a man, so nobody needs to know that I'm gay
unless I tell them. It doesn't mean that I've had
any less of an experience with homophobia or like you know,
struggling with that feeling, but it does mean that, like
I don't I can go in public with my boyfriend
and not have people say horrible things. Although when I
(04:36):
dated a girl that was a completely different story. But
I just want to acknowledge that. And I also feel
like there's a lot of God, I just I didn't
on Twitter too much, but there's a lot of discourse
on Twitter about whether or not a celebrity is queer
abating if they're in a straight relationship but they're talking
about their sexuality and like they want to, you know,
(04:56):
be part of the cool queer club, and it's just
like it does nobody's fun business for starters. Like there's
a lot of discourse when Billie Eilish was like, you
know what, I just don't know, and people are like
she's queer baiting, and it's like she's a teenager, Like
she's figuring it out. And and also yeah, it being
queer as a spectrum. You might not feel like you
(05:18):
could ever date somebody of the same gender, but be
attracted to them, and that's okay. There's a lot of
types of men that I'm attracted to, but I would
have never dated because I, you know, have self worth.
But don't mean I was only less attracted to him.
And yeah, it just doesn't It just doesn't have to
be and you don't have to define it by anything.
(05:39):
And that is why I personally prefer the word queer.
I think it's all encompassing. It tells people, hey, it's
not your business, but I'm not straight. And also I
feel like it applies to me mostly because I really
just don't care about gender. I don't care if they're
a man or woman or no gender at all or
non binary. I just I like hot people who make
(05:59):
me laugh, that's my type. And smell good. That's also
that's very important as well. And it's it's really that simple.
So I just I personally like the word queer, but
I would never be offended if someone called me bisexual,
band sexual, because those applied to I just like the
word queer most okay, So I think there's there's a
(06:20):
lot of biophobia within the queer community as well, and
it makes you feel really invalid if you wind up
in a heterosexual relationship or even just like yeah, it's
it's like you feel guilty for turning your back on
being gay, but you didn't. You just fell in love
with someone. And the whole point of it is like
(06:42):
you can fall in love with anyone. And I made
a TikTok because that's like the only place I kind
of even allude to being queer on the Internet, and
that's been like a little soft launch on there. But
I was like, I am not any less queer just
because I accidentally started dating a man. Um that's what
it was, you know. I just I like who I like,
and just that one happened to stick. It wasn't because
(07:05):
he was a man. It's because I love him. And
I will say, like, that's a completely different experience dating
a man than dating a woman. I oh god, it
was really hard. Back in like twenty nineteen, I was
dating a girl and you know, actively in country music,
(07:25):
had a team who told me I couldn't come out,
that it was going to be like career suicide, and
I just would I was out to everybody in my
life when I was dating her. That's when I finally
came out to my parents, to a way better reaction
than I anticipated. But I would hide like when we
(07:46):
were like, I was so worried when we were in
public on dates that be like a fan would see
me or somebody I knew in the music industry, and
I was really afraid that someone would, you know, take
a screenshot of me on a dating app where I
was like, you know, talking to women. I was really
afraid of that, and it was just like this constant
(08:06):
anxiety and just really hard because I did believe that
would be career suicide. And I had a team that
was just not supportive of me coming out and was like, oh, well,
you're dating Sam, so you're not gay anymore. I'm like, well,
that's not how that works. That's literally that's not how
that works even a little bit. And shit like that
feels so invalidating, especially to the amount of struggles that
(08:30):
I've dealt with being queer. I mean, like I grew
up in the church, like, for fuck's sake, like I
truly believed I was going to help for this and
would pray every Sunday in church, that God would make
me ungay and forgive me for making out with a
girl the night before or whatever. And yeah, I just
I felt horrible and that doesn't go away just because
(08:51):
I'm dating a guy. That experience and that self hatred
and that internalized homophobia. I also dealt with a lot
of stuff, Like I had an old roommate who I
lived with, who I was friends with, tell me, well,
I don't approve of your lifestyle, but you know, I
love everybody. Jesus says loves everybody. And I was like,
(09:12):
I live with you. Like I feel so fucking unsafe
in this environment because like, yeah, I'm dating a guy,
but you're still telling me that, like you think. I'm like,
oh God, and I can't believe people my age even
have that fucking opinion. It's so fucking annoying. And like,
there was just a lot of stuff that I dealt with,
(09:34):
especially when I was dating this girl we'll call her Mandy.
Mandy and I dated for significant, significant period of time
for me in twenty nineteen because I wasn't having very
long relationships and I'd had a lot of other, you know,
situationships with girls, especially in high school, but like we
(09:56):
didn't know what to call it, because like we were
gaslighting ourselves of thinking that we were, you know, queer.
We were like, oh no, we just like make out
when we're drunk, huh. And then it would just happen
when we were drunken. Then it was like, oh my god,
we're just like so silly, goofy, like, and then we'd
have these horrible like we'd hate each other's boyfriends and
just like be like way too opinionated on each other's
(10:18):
lives and just have this toxic dynamic. And in retrospect,
I'm like, that was a girlfriend. Like that was super
a fucking girlfriend. And like almost all of my high
school friends are out at queer now, which makes perfect sense.
But I distinctly remember the closest I ever came to
coming out was there's this blog like music outlet called
(10:41):
Sounds Like Nashville, and they reached out to my team
and said, um, hey, we know Kaylee has been really
vocal in her support of the queer community. We'd really
love if she could write an essay like as an
ally for Pride Month. We're just having people you know
in country music do this, and we'd really love her
to be a part of it. And I was like, yeah, absolutely,
(11:01):
And I wrote the article about like unlearning hatred that
you're taught and growing up Christian thinking gay people are
going to hell and like unlearning that. And I wrote
my essay and the person who I submitted it to,
like or my manager submitted it to, was like, oh, um,
is Kaylee? Is Kaylee an ally or a member of
(11:23):
the community, because like you could freaking tell. I mean, like,
this is like the least surprising news anybody's probably ever
heard in their lives, Like and I'm out to every
single person in my personal life, like everyone, so it's
just high time for this. But um yeah, I my
team member responded and said, um oh no, no no, just
an ally And I was like god, really excited for
(11:45):
a second because I thought I was gonna be able
to come out and then I wasn't. And I just like,
I feel so at home with queer people. I know
that it's my community, like I've always been drawn to
members of the LGBTQ plus community, but also just like
you know, you understand each other's problems. I mean, I
(12:07):
have friends of all shapes and sizes and identifications and
you know whatever, But like, I really feel at home
with those people. I feel at home in a lesbian bar,
I feel at home at a gay bar, and I
just don't want to not be part of that club
publicly when I'm totally part of it privately. And I
(12:30):
just am tired of hiding like fifty percent of myself
because I'm scared. So and again, why I wanted to
talk about this finally is because there's a lot of
legislation happening in Tennessee that is just blatantly attacking the
queer community. So I'm going to read about that next.
But thank you guys for listening. Hope you enjoy the
(12:51):
title of this one. I was really proud. I literally
came up with the title of this three years ago,
so it feels good to finally get off my chest.
We'll be right back, okay. So, being queer in Tennessee
(13:12):
is harder than anybody in my generation can remember it being.
There's a lot of legislation. One that's been passed recently
is HB one slash SP one, passed in the House
and the Senate. It goes into effect July first, twenty
twenty three, and it requires all transgender teams in the
(13:33):
state of Tennessee to de transition between July of twenty
twenty three and March of twenty twenty four. Most care
is going to discontinue July first, even though they don't
have to be de transition till March, because a lot
of doctors are going to be afraid of losing their
license and so they're going to stop treating trans people.
(13:54):
If you want to learn more about that, Southern Equality
dot org slash TN resources will provide you with a
much more articulate, in depth information about that. But that's
really really fucking awful. And the attack on trans kids
is unbelievable. They attract on trans people is unbelievable. And
I feel like, I know that I have so much
(14:16):
privilege as a white cisgender woman who can hide being
queer whenever she feels like it, and trans people are
just being put through the ringer, and I just, I
really really feel the need to stand with them. I
have so many trans and non binary friends, and this
ship just breaks my fucking heart. Another big one that
(14:37):
affects the queer community at large is Tennessee rejected federal
HIV funding from the Center for disease control. That was
in twenty twenty, Tennessee had nineteen two hundred and fourteen
HIV cases total. That wasn't new infections, that was total,
but that's still a very very large number. They're the
(14:58):
funding that they're turning down could prevent five hundred or
more infections a year. And the HIV funding isn't just
testing or treatment, it's all these different things. And I
personally had to take an anti like a preventative HIV
medication called true Vada, which a lot of gay men
(15:19):
will take, a lot of you know, people will take
if they're sexually active. If you're concerned about that, you
should absolutely take it. But it just prevents you from
lowers your chances of getting HIV. And so I was
sexually assaulted and at the Nashville Sexual Assault Center they
give that to you because if a rapist is raping you,
(15:40):
if a rapist is raping you without a condom, and like,
they don't sorry, that's not going to be the line
they draw on the morality stand. They're not going to
be like, oh, but I gotta tell her before I
rape her that I have HIV. Like no, So you
just never know and I was like, yeah, I want
to take it. I got really sick. It was really awful,
but I was really happy, Well happy, it's not the
right word. I was very I was very thankful that
(16:02):
that resource existed for me, because that would have been just,
I mean, just another awful thing on top of something
that was already awful. So it is not just where
people that that affects. It's it's everybody who's actually active
in the state of Tennessee or is a victim of
sexual assault, and that's just fucked up. Like imagine just
being like, no, we don't we don't want the federal funding,
the free money. We don't want that because gay people
(16:25):
get aids. It like gay people get cancer. Like it's
just I mean, oh, it's so upsetting. There's so much
in fighting within the LGBTQ plus community, so much of
(16:45):
which I see on Twitter. You see a lot of
trans exclusionary radical feminists who are lesbians just needlessly attacking
trans women, invalidating them, and I just like, it's so
heartbreaking to know that anybody who knows what it feels
like to be marginalized for how you identify and what
(17:10):
you are, it feels so awful that they could inflict
that on somebody else, And I really hate seeing that,
especially within, you know, the community that I've been closest to,
which is the lesbian community. And I hate, I just
I fucking hate it. And so I just don't want
to be part of the problem. And trans people and
trans people of color have specifically have done so much
(17:34):
work from Stonewall, which was like a huge turning point
in the gay rights movement, to just the advocacy, to
the fact that they are one of the highest, if
not the highest group of people like demographic that gets murdered.
Like this isn't just we're not just talking about like
when people are attacking trans rights, They're not just like
(17:55):
talking about sports teams. They're not just talking about how
somebody gets to dress walking up and down the street.
People fucking die. People are literally dying. And I would
just hate myself if I didn't do anything about it
and I didn't talk about it. And I also just
I want to stand with my community, and I you know,
(18:19):
I all of my trans girlfriends were advocating really like
outspokenly for reproductive rights and like abortion, even though they
can't get pregnant. They don't care. They they're they're advocating
for their fellow women, and that's all you're doing when
(18:40):
you're advocating for for trans women and trans people, is
like other members of your community, within the gay community,
within the female community, all of those things. And it
just feels simple to me. It just feels so simple,
and I'm like, I just get so angry. Um. I
want to leave this episode with something from a queer
thought leader named Leo Herrera. You can follow him on
(19:05):
Instagram at Herrera Images. I really really love his perspective
and he posted something the other day that just gave
me chills. But he said, bigots love to act like
queers are new and anti LGBTQ laws are groundbreaking. They
are not criminalizing. Queer folks are ancient wars. History teaches us.
(19:25):
They bust out the laws when they're losing the culture war.
Turn on TikTok and TV. Honey, it's over. We are
the queerest generation since the nineteen sixties. Why we saw
so many anti gay school initiatives quote unquote for the
children in the seventies when quote unquote cross dressing and
sodomy we're still illegal. When our spaces were still being
rated when we still managed to lead a cultural revolution.
(19:46):
The laws only made us more clever and fired up.
This is a playing field queers have a hundred years
of experience with in America. Criminalizing, with its bureaucracy and
political followut is usually a last resort with those biggots.
Don't want you to understand is that they are the
cornered animals, not us. Yes, that makes them very dangerous,
but baby, the heels on our big feet are way
older than the boots at our neck. And I really
(20:09):
loved that. So that's off my chest. That feels really good.
I had no idea how to go about this, and
I really thought about it for a long time. I
didn't want to issue a press release and be like, hey, guys,
Keane Shore, who's like dating a man she's likely going
to marry, has dated women in the past, Like that's
just so, I don't want anyone to think I'm doing
(20:30):
this for attention. I feel like I see a lot
of stuff online accusing people of doing that, and I
think that's inherently rather biphobic, but whatever, But I just
I really am coming from a good place, and I
felt like the best place I could do. This was
on my own podcast, where I already just talk about
myself every week, and I can just get this off
my chest. I've provided some resources in the description for
(20:53):
queer people in Tennessee and queer people in general, so
if you are questioning and you feel like you don't
know where to turn, I'm going to provide some resources.
And um, I'll probably do another episode on this as
I feel more articulate, but honestly, as a little nervous,
I had to take some beta blockers and drank a
glass of wine even though it's only like four pm
when I'm recording this, because I was really nervous. So, um, yeah,
(21:16):
that's off my chest and I can just fucking say
it now. That's really exciting. I'm you know what I'm
gonna go do. I'm gonna upload this podcast and then
I'm gonna go put a fucking rainbow emoji in my
Instagram bio. That's what I'm gonna do, chairs bitches. Um,
thank you guys for listening. I'm Kaylee Shore and this
is too much to say, but don't you questions it out.
(21:46):
You
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