February 11, 2023 • 13 mins
Kalie talks about pre-show jitters, her best and worst moments, and how to amp yourself up before you go on stage (or just have to talk in front of lots of people!)
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, I'm Kaylie Shore, and this is too much
to say asking questions, tell it out you, Okay. So
I am first of all going to talk about the
(00:25):
past episode really quick, but I did one on the
fentanyl crisis and um like creating access to fentyl test strips.
If you've looked at my social media, you've seen that
I've been on the news a few times recently talking
about it, and I just wanted to give a really
big shout out to this organization called End Overdose. You
guys can follow them on Instagram, check out their website.
(00:46):
But they sent me a massive box of fentanyl test
strips in narcan Um, which is like the overdose reversal
drug that you can give people um if they are
dying from an overdose. It reverses it, but them into
like a very expedited withdrawal and it is not fun
for them, but neither is dying. So UM, I just
(01:08):
want to give them a shout out, and you can
get your own materials from them as well. Uh. They're
just trying to create access to these supplies, and I've
been purchasing my own test strips, which they're like individually
or like a dollar, but it adds up really quick
when you're getting you know, packages of like a hundred,
which is what I was doing. So I'm very excited
(01:30):
just to be able to have more of them. And
UM like especially the narcan or ni locks own both
the same thing. UM. Yeah, so check that out and
if you are interested in having your own resources to
um to save lives. So UM. But now I want
(01:51):
to talk about a topic that I've had a wild
ride with throughout my life, UM, and that is stage fright.
So I have been referre performing as long as I
can remember, and I'm sure I look a lot more
comfortable on stage than I actually am. Uh. I do
enjoy it, but I'm going to talk about some of
the worst times I've had on stage and how I've
(02:15):
managed to overcome that. Um and yeah, we're going to
dive right into that. So my first show that was
like with a guitar would have been my eighth grade
talent show, and I was so nervous. UM. I did
two songs. I did one with my band and then
(02:37):
I did a duet of Hay They're Delilah with my
friend Marissa, which was very fun. UM. And I practiced
the ship out of those. So I remember feeling pretty
good and enjoying myself. But as the stakes got higher. Um,
as I went on and started doing shows professionally and
getting paid to do them, um, I started to get
(02:57):
more nervous. My voice would always is like like I
don't know how to I just feel like my throat
would get really dry, which I think is an anxiety response. Um.
You forget the science behind it, but it's uh something
about like your your saliva glands like stop working when
you're nervous. So um, my like throat would be really
(03:18):
dry and I just would not sound nearly as good
as I did in my room. And it was really
frustrating because I'm like, I know I can do this,
Like why am I messing up on stage? And I
know that that's a very common thing that performers struggle with,
and um, I'm not alone in that. But it's just
funny because like when you think about it, like you know,
Taylor Swift get stage fright still like everybody does. It
(03:39):
is um, it affects people from all walks of life
and all stages of their career, and it's kind of
a buzz skill because you're like trying to have fun,
and like, I want to be present in the moment
and remember everything about the show, especially if it's a
really big one, and sometimes you just can't. And then
(04:00):
if you're really nervous, you like black out and don't
remember anything that happened, and that really sucks. So I'm
going to start off with my worst stage fight experience,
(04:20):
and I'm sure I've had more, but these are from
relatively recently, just because, um, that's what I remember the
most vividly. But I played this show in so it
would have been about a year ago. It was when
I decided to move to l A. Um, which was
a year ago, and I've been in l A like
officially for like seven months. But um, I I hadn't
(04:46):
played a show in a long time. Like, I wasn't
feeling like an artist. I'd done the the All Time
Low Tour and that was really fun, but after that wrapped,
I really felt super low, um and just I wasn't
going to be an artist anymore and I just was
going to be a songwriter. And I played a show
at this place in l A called Hotel Cafe, which
(05:07):
is an amazing venue. Um, they're so nice to artists.
Anytime you can play there or go to a show there,
you should. The owner is so awesome UM and it's
just a really great venue that like musicians love to
play at. UM. So I was headlining, and I had
my boyfriend Sam Barga and my really good friend Kali
Roadi UM play the show with me, and that was
(05:30):
really fun because like I just love both of them
and have a really good time hanging out with them.
We write a lot of stuff together, and so that
was really cool. UM. But I was really just surprised
by how many people came out to the show UM
and I wasn't anticipating that, and I just was like
so nervous, and I felt like there was no way
I could get on stage and feel like an artist.
(05:53):
And I just had gotten so far away from myself
and so much of myself is being an artist, and
so it was just like this horrible identity crisis era UM.
And in the middle of that, I was a show.
But I did, and I remember I had to. I
mean I didn't have to, but I felt like inclined to.
(06:15):
UM take like probably have two more drinks before I
went on stage than I normally would, like I normally
have like one um or like one an hour before,
and then AE tequila shot and I had three, all
really close together. And so I got on stage and
I don't even think I was drunk. I think I
was just so nervous that I like basically like I
(06:35):
couldn't remember anything, and I was like, I felt like
I bombed and I did a horrible job. And then
like the feedback I got on the show was that
it was amazing and everyone was really excited about it
and loved the songs I played, and I was like, oh, okay,
well because I got all worked up over nothing. But
I just remember being really bummed that I had to
drink in order to do it, because it's like something
(06:58):
I love doing and I really away and I hadn't
felt that nervous, especially for like an acoustic show for
people I knew in a really like vibe room. Like,
you know, getting anxious before I go on stage on
a tour with a band is like that, yeah, of course,
like first night a tour stuff, but this was just
like made me feel so disconnected for myself to be
(07:20):
that nervous, and um, I now like over the years,
I've come up with some ways to combat the anxiety.
But that night, I think I just like forgot every
single one of them and just was like so nervous
and it just bombs me out. And now I feel
(07:40):
a lot better. Um my show last night, I was
able to really enjoy myself. But that one, like a
year ago, was just it was. It wasn't like rough
to watch, it was just rough for me. Like I
just was like straight up not having a good time
(08:08):
as far as the best time I remember, like before
going on stage and like not being nervous. Um. I
would have to say it was the year that I
played Nashville New Year's Eve, which is downtown. It's like
a really big deal. Um. And this was going into
it was for like two people. Um. I had just
played a bunch of shows with my band. I just
(08:29):
released Open Book. It was doing really well a couple
of weeks before it was when it was in the
New York Times, and I just was feeling like really
great about myself and I was like, Okay, like this
is huge, um. And I just like I felt so
prepared for it and my band and I had you know,
a bunch of rehearsals and we're wearing these amazing outfits
that were from any Old Iron, which is a designer
(08:51):
in Nashville, and we're just feeling like spiffy and good.
And I just remember being so calm when I walked
out on that stage in front of more people that
I've ever played in front of, which makes no sense,
but I just was like, I felt really connected to
my purpose and I was so excited to be there,
and I had just had a lot of validation UM
for my career like leading up to that, so obviously
(09:14):
I was like, playing those songs felt different, and playing
those songs from Up and Book felt so different after
the press that Open Book got, because I was like, Wow,
people think these are good. Like I'm not like walking
into every room being like, oh my god, are my
song is bad? Like at least like you know, at
least I knew that like some people with well regarded
(09:35):
opinions liked it, and that made it. It made me
more confident, but also just like having the practice down
and like just feeling connected to my music and my purpose.
So obviously not every show can be like that, but
what I've learned is to UM do a couple of
different coping mechanisms. UM obviously tequila shots. That's a big
(10:00):
one for me. I love a teal shot. And now,
like I used to, I used to like do more
because I was just like younger and raging. But um,
I'll have like a tequila shot and then a glass
of wine while I'm singing, and that's really fun. That's enjoyable. Um.
But also I take a prescription. Uh it's a beta blocker,
but basically, like anyone can get it, and all it
(10:22):
does is just like lightly slow as your heart rate. Um.
You can just like literally tell your doctor that you
have a presentation at work if that's like what you
have going on, and they'll like write your prescription because
like it just doesn't it you can't get high off
of it or anything. It's just a really great thing
to have. And almost all of my musician friends have,
(10:43):
um have some of that in their back pocket ready
to go, and it just makes a really big difference. UM.
I also love doing meditation and like like feeling connected
to the universe before I go out on stage. Um.
And when I was on tour, my first tour ever,
I created this kind of ritual because you don't get
(11:05):
routine on the road, but you do you can create
moments for ritual. And so every night, Um, when I'd
go into my dressing room before the show, I'd like
set up, um, like, I put like this little i
don't know, like table covering down on my dressing room
table and put out a candle, same one every night
that I really like the smell of. And I would,
(11:28):
you know, get my little makeup mirror set up and
just like make it feel like home, have some crystals out, like,
and so it looked the same every night, and that
was so nice because no matter how different the dressing
room was or how stressful the day was, like I
still felt like I was in the same place, and
that was really really awesome and just created a really
(11:48):
happy place for me. Um. And so also, like the
most random one that I do that I find like
really helps is headstands. I love doing headstands. Um. They
are are they basically send all the blood to your brain.
And this is scientifically proven, but it's like sends all
that oxygen and all the blood to your brain, and
so like you can just think clearer and it basically
(12:10):
feels like you just like took a i don't know,
like an espresso shot or something but it doesn't make
you jittery, it just makes you super focused. And then
there's also these pressure points on the back of your
neck um like basically right where you're like the back
of your head where kind of dimples in and you
can push on those really hard. It helps if you
have someone else do it, but that is like literally
(12:32):
feels like you just are a new human, like you
just got reborn. And that sounds dramatic, but it's really amazing.
And so I love those things. When I'm getting nervous,
it's a combination of substances and behaviors. But yeah, as
times gone on, I've been able to not be as nervous.
And it felt really good last night to feel like
(12:52):
myself and you know, talking on stage and feeling natural
and I just had so much fun. So thank you
to everyone who came. I really appreciate it. I'll have
more shows coming up, both in um l A and Nashville,
UM as well as a couple on the road, so
stay tuned. You guys are the best. Thank you so
much for listening. I'm Kaylie Shore and this is too
(13:13):
much to say, but don't go ask me questions. Do
I'll go too much say now, turn it out, you
Hey guys, I'm Kaylie Shore, and this is too much
to say asking questions, tell it out you, Okay. So
I am first of all going to talk about the
(00:25):
past episode really quick, but I did one on the
fentanyl crisis and um like creating access to fentyl test strips.
If you've looked at my social media, you've seen that
I've been on the news a few times recently talking
about it, and I just wanted to give a really
big shout out to this organization called End Overdose. You
guys can follow them on Instagram, check out their website.
(00:46):
But they sent me a massive box of fentanyl test
strips in narcan Um, which is like the overdose reversal
drug that you can give people um if they are
dying from an overdose. It reverses it, but them into
like a very expedited withdrawal and it is not fun
for them, but neither is dying. So UM, I just
(01:08):
want to give them a shout out, and you can
get your own materials from them as well. Uh. They're
just trying to create access to these supplies, and I've
been purchasing my own test strips, which they're like individually
or like a dollar, but it adds up really quick
when you're getting you know, packages of like a hundred,
which is what I was doing. So I'm very excited
(01:30):
just to be able to have more of them. And
UM like especially the narcan or ni locks own both
the same thing. UM. Yeah, so check that out and
if you are interested in having your own resources to
um to save lives. So UM. But now I want
(01:51):
to talk about a topic that I've had a wild
ride with throughout my life, UM, and that is stage fright.
So I have been referre performing as long as I
can remember, and I'm sure I look a lot more
comfortable on stage than I actually am. Uh. I do
enjoy it, but I'm going to talk about some of
the worst times I've had on stage and how I've
(02:15):
managed to overcome that. Um and yeah, we're going to
dive right into that. So my first show that was
like with a guitar would have been my eighth grade
talent show, and I was so nervous. UM. I did
two songs. I did one with my band and then
(02:37):
I did a duet of Hay They're Delilah with my
friend Marissa, which was very fun. UM. And I practiced
the ship out of those. So I remember feeling pretty
good and enjoying myself. But as the stakes got higher. Um,
as I went on and started doing shows professionally and
getting paid to do them, um, I started to get
(02:57):
more nervous. My voice would always is like like I
don't know how to I just feel like my throat
would get really dry, which I think is an anxiety response. Um.
You forget the science behind it, but it's uh something
about like your your saliva glands like stop working when
you're nervous. So um, my like throat would be really
(03:18):
dry and I just would not sound nearly as good
as I did in my room. And it was really
frustrating because I'm like, I know I can do this,
Like why am I messing up on stage? And I
know that that's a very common thing that performers struggle with,
and um, I'm not alone in that. But it's just
funny because like when you think about it, like you know,
Taylor Swift get stage fright still like everybody does. It
(03:39):
is um, it affects people from all walks of life
and all stages of their career, and it's kind of
a buzz skill because you're like trying to have fun,
and like, I want to be present in the moment
and remember everything about the show, especially if it's a
really big one, and sometimes you just can't. And then
(04:00):
if you're really nervous, you like black out and don't
remember anything that happened, and that really sucks. So I'm
going to start off with my worst stage fight experience,
(04:20):
and I'm sure I've had more, but these are from
relatively recently, just because, um, that's what I remember the
most vividly. But I played this show in so it
would have been about a year ago. It was when
I decided to move to l A. Um, which was
a year ago, and I've been in l A like
officially for like seven months. But um, I I hadn't
(04:46):
played a show in a long time. Like, I wasn't
feeling like an artist. I'd done the the All Time
Low Tour and that was really fun, but after that wrapped,
I really felt super low, um and just I wasn't
going to be an artist anymore and I just was
going to be a songwriter. And I played a show
at this place in l A called Hotel Cafe, which
(05:07):
is an amazing venue. Um, they're so nice to artists.
Anytime you can play there or go to a show there,
you should. The owner is so awesome UM and it's
just a really great venue that like musicians love to
play at. UM. So I was headlining, and I had
my boyfriend Sam Barga and my really good friend Kali
Roadi UM play the show with me, and that was
(05:30):
really fun because like I just love both of them
and have a really good time hanging out with them.
We write a lot of stuff together, and so that
was really cool. UM. But I was really just surprised
by how many people came out to the show UM
and I wasn't anticipating that, and I just was like
so nervous, and I felt like there was no way
I could get on stage and feel like an artist.
(05:53):
And I just had gotten so far away from myself
and so much of myself is being an artist, and
so it was just like this horrible identity crisis era UM.
And in the middle of that, I was a show.
But I did, and I remember I had to. I
mean I didn't have to, but I felt like inclined to.
(06:15):
UM take like probably have two more drinks before I
went on stage than I normally would, like I normally
have like one um or like one an hour before,
and then AE tequila shot and I had three, all
really close together. And so I got on stage and
I don't even think I was drunk. I think I
was just so nervous that I like basically like I
(06:35):
couldn't remember anything, and I was like, I felt like
I bombed and I did a horrible job. And then
like the feedback I got on the show was that
it was amazing and everyone was really excited about it
and loved the songs I played, and I was like, oh, okay,
well because I got all worked up over nothing. But
I just remember being really bummed that I had to
drink in order to do it, because it's like something
(06:58):
I love doing and I really away and I hadn't
felt that nervous, especially for like an acoustic show for
people I knew in a really like vibe room. Like,
you know, getting anxious before I go on stage on
a tour with a band is like that, yeah, of course,
like first night a tour stuff, but this was just
like made me feel so disconnected for myself to be
(07:20):
that nervous, and um, I now like over the years,
I've come up with some ways to combat the anxiety.
But that night, I think I just like forgot every
single one of them and just was like so nervous
and it just bombs me out. And now I feel
(07:40):
a lot better. Um my show last night, I was
able to really enjoy myself. But that one, like a
year ago, was just it was. It wasn't like rough
to watch, it was just rough for me. Like I
just was like straight up not having a good time
(08:08):
as far as the best time I remember, like before
going on stage and like not being nervous. Um. I
would have to say it was the year that I
played Nashville New Year's Eve, which is downtown. It's like
a really big deal. Um. And this was going into
it was for like two people. Um. I had just
played a bunch of shows with my band. I just
(08:29):
released Open Book. It was doing really well a couple
of weeks before it was when it was in the
New York Times, and I just was feeling like really
great about myself and I was like, Okay, like this
is huge, um. And I just like I felt so
prepared for it and my band and I had you know,
a bunch of rehearsals and we're wearing these amazing outfits
that were from any Old Iron, which is a designer
(08:51):
in Nashville, and we're just feeling like spiffy and good.
And I just remember being so calm when I walked
out on that stage in front of more people that
I've ever played in front of, which makes no sense,
but I just was like, I felt really connected to
my purpose and I was so excited to be there,
and I had just had a lot of validation UM
for my career like leading up to that, so obviously
(09:14):
I was like, playing those songs felt different, and playing
those songs from Up and Book felt so different after
the press that Open Book got, because I was like, Wow,
people think these are good. Like I'm not like walking
into every room being like, oh my god, are my
song is bad? Like at least like you know, at
least I knew that like some people with well regarded
(09:35):
opinions liked it, and that made it. It made me
more confident, but also just like having the practice down
and like just feeling connected to my music and my purpose.
So obviously not every show can be like that, but
what I've learned is to UM do a couple of
different coping mechanisms. UM obviously tequila shots. That's a big
(10:00):
one for me. I love a teal shot. And now,
like I used to, I used to like do more
because I was just like younger and raging. But um,
I'll have like a tequila shot and then a glass
of wine while I'm singing, and that's really fun. That's enjoyable. Um.
But also I take a prescription. Uh it's a beta blocker,
but basically, like anyone can get it, and all it
(10:22):
does is just like lightly slow as your heart rate. Um.
You can just like literally tell your doctor that you
have a presentation at work if that's like what you
have going on, and they'll like write your prescription because
like it just doesn't it you can't get high off
of it or anything. It's just a really great thing
to have. And almost all of my musician friends have,
(10:43):
um have some of that in their back pocket ready
to go, and it just makes a really big difference. UM.
I also love doing meditation and like like feeling connected
to the universe before I go out on stage. Um.
And when I was on tour, my first tour ever,
I created this kind of ritual because you don't get
(11:05):
routine on the road, but you do you can create
moments for ritual. And so every night, Um, when I'd
go into my dressing room before the show, I'd like
set up, um, like, I put like this little i
don't know, like table covering down on my dressing room
table and put out a candle, same one every night
that I really like the smell of. And I would,
(11:28):
you know, get my little makeup mirror set up and
just like make it feel like home, have some crystals out, like,
and so it looked the same every night, and that
was so nice because no matter how different the dressing
room was or how stressful the day was, like I
still felt like I was in the same place, and
that was really really awesome and just created a really
(11:48):
happy place for me. Um. And so also, like the
most random one that I do that I find like
really helps is headstands. I love doing headstands. Um. They
are are they basically send all the blood to your brain.
And this is scientifically proven, but it's like sends all
that oxygen and all the blood to your brain, and
so like you can just think clearer and it basically
(12:10):
feels like you just like took a i don't know,
like an espresso shot or something but it doesn't make
you jittery, it just makes you super focused. And then
there's also these pressure points on the back of your
neck um like basically right where you're like the back
of your head where kind of dimples in and you
can push on those really hard. It helps if you
have someone else do it, but that is like literally
(12:32):
feels like you just are a new human, like you
just got reborn. And that sounds dramatic, but it's really amazing.
And so I love those things. When I'm getting nervous,
it's a combination of substances and behaviors. But yeah, as
times gone on, I've been able to not be as nervous.
And it felt really good last night to feel like
(12:52):
myself and you know, talking on stage and feeling natural
and I just had so much fun. So thank you
to everyone who came. I really appreciate it. I'll have
more shows coming up, both in um l A and Nashville,
UM as well as a couple on the road, so
stay tuned. You guys are the best. Thank you so
much for listening. I'm Kaylie Shore and this is too
(13:13):
much to say, but don't go ask me questions. Do
I'll go too much say now, turn it out, you
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