May 14, 2024 • 42 mins
Daniel learns what life is like as a serial reality show contestant with the always lovable Grocery Store Joe.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Can I ask you a question? Yes, out of the contestants,
who were you the biggest fan of before hosting.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
This Tasha and now after Tashash show?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
What what what what? I'm what the culture is feeling?
Woo Kendrick coming with that smoke. Huhuh so good to
show team Kendrick. I'm what the culture is feeling. I
just like him. He says that, you know, we all
(00:44):
are descendants from a single tribe in Africa, so don't
even say that I'm not black enough, you know. And
then Kendrick, He's accusing Drake of pedophilia. I mean, I
don't know what's going on every but he is being
accused of being a pedophile lately. Jimmy Kimmel got it
(01:04):
all Democrats. It's one of those things where it's like,
is this always been the way it has been? But
like now I have children, so I'm just hyper aware
that there's just pedophiles everywhere. Or is it like when
you break up with a girl and you think every
song is is just you know, it's just cutting a
(01:24):
little different. I don't know, but apparently I'm just surrounded
by pedophiles. Here's the thing people always say, you know, like, oh,
you should be a part of the roast. When they
do roasts, I'd much rather watch a rat battle because
rat battles there's consequences, you know. It's it's like, oh, yeah,
(01:46):
we're I'm gonna take a shot. Literally. Did you watch
the roast, Eddie?
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I did.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I watched it the whole thing, watched.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I think I might have missed the very beginning.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Haven't gone back to check it out. It's long, it
is long. Did they do any jokes about Kevin Hart's height? Yes,
that's the problem with the roast. They're just mean. People's
feelings get hurt. If I was off there, I would
try as hard as I could to cry, just see
if maybe they'd stop. The people have always asked if
(02:18):
I will be on the roast, and I've to be honest.
I saw Jeff Ross the week before the roast, and
he encouraged me. He said I should do one. He
looks like he was in that Dune sequel. He does
you know what I'm talking about? Maybe I'll hold out.
(02:39):
You know who I want to roast? Seinfeld Man? Oh Man.
Wouldn't that be a fun roast? Seinfeld And here's how
I would want this to go. I would want to
be the host of this. I would want to be
the host of the Jerry Seinfeld Roast, And then I'd
want no comics to show up, and I'd want no
audience to show up. And it's just two hours of
(03:01):
me looking at Jerry gone, Eh, this speaks volumes, doesn't
It turns out you're you're not as loved by your
peers as you once thought. Just so much lately with
him just being up in arms about everything. You can't
do this anymore. What are you talking? It's like me complaining.
Oh yeah, the kids today? Then they're viral videos. They're
(03:25):
just not as good as when I used to make
jokes about viral videos in my heyday. A viral video,
you know, you to have somebody, a disabled person fall
down a flight of stairs and we just have a
good laugh. You see how dumb that sounds. For God,
it's made is living into observations. Fuck yeah, just look
(03:46):
in the mirror for a second. Oh I don't want
to I don't want to become this person. He's been
going after everyone. He's been going after comedians with podcasts.
You're not that interesting, I get. I couldn't agree with
you more, Grandpa, I don't think I'm interesting. This isn't
what I wanted to do with my life. What I
(04:07):
wanted to do was get on a reality show. That
was my goal. That's why I got into show business
to someday get on a reality show. And last year,
when Amazon came calling and offered me a chance to
live out my dream, I jumped at it. Then I
found out that they didn't want me on the show.
They wanted me to host it. I was a little
(04:28):
let down, but at least I was given an opportunity
to meet my TV idols. Enjoy. Pasha, my guest today,
has appeared very briefly on The Bachelor, Dancing with the Stars,
and Love on the Spectrum. You can see him now
(04:52):
on The Goat on Prime, hosted by Little Old Me.
Please Welcome Grocery Store Joe Spectrum. It's a great show.
I just started watching it. Okay, so you weren't on
that show. No, gar research is garbage. Yeah, that's my fault,
all right. Do you believe in ghosts?
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
No?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Okay, No ever thought about changing your name to instacart Joe.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I honestly think I would have got more Instagram followers
if I if my name would have been grocery store Joe.
But my last name's hardest spell and pronounce. You probably
can't even do it.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Huh huh. But did you think I always said Instagram
versus Instacart.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Uh, that's where my mind went. Yeah, that is where
my mind went.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I was just like, because instacrt is just a little
more updated.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Is instacart still around?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Yeah? Okay, you go to the grocery store.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Serena orders off of Amazon. Right, so I'm plugging. I
just plugged the.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Show Team Team Prime. Where'd you grow up?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
I grew up in a town called Melos Park in Chicago.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
You like Chicago?
Speaker 5 (05:53):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I like it where dummies put pickles on hot dogs
and call asagnya pizza.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
I don't like deep dish pizza.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
No one does.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
And I take the pickle off my hot dog.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
What do you do with the pickle? I take a
bite of it. Did you major in groceries at college?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
I actually didn't go to college.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
You didn't go to college? Not a day.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
No, I barely graduated high school. I got to school.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Yeah, I got through it. I got through it. You
found high school tricky.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
I had the option not to go to college after
we all.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Have the option, and I took that option.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I loved it.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
We're in trouble of the country. In your opinion, what
is the best grocery store? And don't just say Whole
Foods because Amazon owns them and they're the ones that
made the goat available on Prime. I shop at Whole Foods,
so yea, yeah, Whole food is not my favorite. Air One.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I bought a thirty dollars bottle of water there because
I couldn't believe it was thirty dollars.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Good for you.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
It tasted the same, but it was out of a
wall Inake, Washington.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
I respect. I respect that you saw that it was
thirty dollars, said I have to own this water.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Air One's great, it's expensive.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
But it's just the girls that are in that store.
It's just ridiculous. Every time I walk in there, I'm like, oh,
holy cow, arawon is it's And then I like then
I like look down, I'm like, oh, there's my little wife.
Come on, honey, how small is your wife? She's tiny?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Really?
Speaker 3 (07:16):
When did you start selling Marinara sauce.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Two thy and twenty because it was during.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
COVID what's it called. What's it called Sundays with Joe?
All right, pop quiz, hot shot? How much sodium is
in one serving of your sweet Marinara sauce?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
What is it measured in?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
All right, let's just go percentage of daily nutritional value?
Thirty twenty seven percent? Okay, all right, yeah, all right.
People may not know your story. You were on the Bachelor,
you were you were a night one loser. Were you
upset with yourself? You're like, oh fuck, I made myself
look stupid? Or no, well, is the Bachelorette whatever? Okay,
(07:56):
you're on the Bachelorette. You're on there night one and
she kicks you out? Who was a girl? Back of?
It was upsetting. It was upsetting.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
I felt embarrassed to go on in the first place,
just because I thought I was like too cool, huh,
And then to be one of the guys that didn't
receive a rows felt pretty pathetic.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Did you talk to her that night? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
But I couldn't really form a sentence because I was
really nervous. Like you see, you've seen me really great
on camera, like I'm funny and I'm charismatic, but that
didn't really come across that didn't come across Night one.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
People always but I didn't get any time. Why wouldn't
you just force yourself. You're on this show, like I'm
going to go right now and talk to this person.
How do they keep some people from actually talking to them?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
They just say it's not your turn, and then most
people listen. But I I had the first conversation kiss no.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And then how long from when that night happened to
when the episode aired? How long of a gap is that?
Speaker 1 (08:49):
That was like a I want to say, two months.
And then the show aired and I thought I was
gonna look terrible, and I looked incredible, and then I
trended on Twitter. It was it was it was basically
national news.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
See now, I have a rule that I don't have
celebrities on my show.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
That's why I'm shocked them here.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I don't consider you a celebrity. You get famous for
two minutes of airtime and you have this normal life,
but now you don't have the finances to like shelter
yourself from all the nonsense it's about to come your way?
How is that?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
That's why I went on the Goat, and that's why
I own bitcoin.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
True.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Well, let's talk about though, it isn't it weird to
I mean, because it's weird to be like, all of
a sudden, now you're famous. But it's like if I'm famous,
I get to go to my house in a neighborhood
that nobody lives in. I close the wall to the gate.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Well, something that I learned is attention is better than money.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Oh it's the opposite. Yeah, but money is great. You
don't want any attention.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yeah, and then you know you don't make any money,
and then you then they ask you to do other
reality shows.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
How much money did you make on your actual appearance
of the batchelor Arette that one single episode?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Nothing? You don't get paid, Yeah, you don't.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
There's unions. You have to get some money.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
You don't get paid. Bullshit, I'm not lying.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
You got zero dollars zero.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I thought you get you get paid to do Bachelor
in Paradise, which was another shot.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
But you get paid to be the bachelorette of the Bachelor.
They get paid, but you don't get paid to be
a Contestants don't get paid for being on a show.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
And I'm such a fucking idiot. I went to tom
I went to Gucci and bought a suit, okay, and
then the suit, the suit didn't fit me right, and
I freaked out the day before. So then I went
to tom Ford and bought a suit and I basically
spent like nine thousand dollars in suits so much.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Okay, So he did that. Then a year later, you
did The Bachelor in Paradise. Oh, then you were into
that that what's her name? And that didn't work out
with you, but you dated her forbid? Or do you
guys get engaged?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Who are we the first person one I've been on
plenty of seasons?
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Did you get engaged?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
No? We just we dated.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
But she was a twin and she was into fucking
dead animals.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah, Taxi Durmy.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
That's there's a few red flags. That's all I'm saying.
When you watch those shows, because your body is not great,
what do you mean, like you're like a normal dude.
But those all those guys, are you intimidated? They're all
so jacked.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I feel like I feel like I actually have a
nice body.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Your body's gotten better.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
You don't think that doesn't look good on on the
on the goat?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
No, no, no, no, no, Now, that's what I'm saying. I'm
saying probably from from from the first time you're on
reality television until now your body's probably I like to I.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Enjoy food, so I don't like I'll eat I like
to eat a cheeseburger and I like pizza.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Sure, yeah, I'm just don't. I'm not. You don't be
self conscious like you're talking to somebody that's got an
awful body. But those guys are all so jacked. Yeah
they care, Yeah, they really care.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Like when we're when you're in Paradise, a lot of
guys don't even drink beer because it's got carbs. Not
me though, really, Yeah, what a waste of a trip.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, why does everybody uh clamor for a date card?
I would just be like, if I'm interested in a
girl that's there, I just fuck want to hang out
on the beach all day and try to make out.
That's what I did, right. Why do people care so
much about it going on the fucking date because they
want your time? Right, That's all it is. Yeah, I
get it. And people are always like, oh, how I've
(12:13):
made this joke before where people get like, how could
you actually find somebody that you really love? And that
to me is absurd because put me in any room
you can find eventually, I'm gonna fall in love with
somebody in that room. I agree, that's just how it
just how it works. So then you do the show
again and you fall in love a second time with
the girl, and now you're happily married. Yes, end and
(12:36):
she and she's what is twenty two years younger than you?
She is?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
It's a it's a ten to eleven year difference.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
My wife's younger than in that gap at times.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
At times it's ten years and at other times it's
eleven year different.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Mine's twelve and someone's thirteen. I think our gap, let
me tell you this always bothers me. Do people give
you any grief for marrying somebody so young? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Sometimes, And I agree with that. I think we're I
think we're emotionally and you know, we're on the same level.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Why always think it's funy when people stay like like
if a guy it's usually a guy dating a younger girl,
and they're like, oh my, what do you have in common?
What can you talk to a twenty two year old about?
I'm like, what kind of conversations are you having? Because
I can fucking have the same conversation with a twenty
two year old that I can my.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Father like, I agree one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Then you did Dance with the Stars too, Oh.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Yeah, that was in between.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Did you like that? Did you get paid a lot
for that?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
You got paid for that? Yeah, that was a nice
paid six.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Figures, yeah, mid six figures. That's five hundred down.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Then no, no.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
It doesn't matter how long you stay on for those shows,
you get paid more.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yes, so you get an upfront and then weekly. The
longer you stay, the more you make. And I admit it.
To the semifinals.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
What place did you get all? Fourth or fifth? Do
you enjoy dancing? I hated it because I know, like
everything that I know about you and watching you do
physical things is it's just it's bad.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Your balance is poor.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
My balance wasn't poor that day. It was my shoes.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I didn't have shoes fucking everything. He said, Like, it's
not true, your shoes aren't. Some people have good balance
and some people don't.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I have average balance.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
No, you don't bad balance. Would you ever do dancing
with the stars, I've done it. No, you have well
at home. I just you just dance every night. You
dance with my wife. I'm like, enjoy this, You're dancing
with the stars. I like that. No, I would never
do that show. I would never do that show. Ever,
there's a lot of shows that I wouldn't do. Would
(14:51):
you do? Uh? What shows wouldn't you do?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Probably Survivor. I don't think I would do Survive, even
though I say I would. I don't like the idea
of not being able to rush your teeth in the morning.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
That's your deal breaker. Yeah, that's a big deal break.
I think you're allowed to bring one item. You're a
fellow degenerate. Would you consider yourself a degenerator?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Now depends on how you defined degenerate.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Do you love Do you love the gamble?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
I enjoy gambling.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Do you love it so much? Does it make you
so happy when you sit down?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
I enjoy the first day, Like the first day in
Vegas is usually my favorite. But I don't gamble outside
of Vegas. I'm I'm controlled.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
That's kind of how I am about gambling. I like
that you can't do it everywhere. And I'm glad that
California killed sports betting because I was like, Oh, if
that happens, I'm gonna be a mess.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
I have on my phone. It's out there, but I
have a in notes I put don't don't sports gamble.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
So what's the most you've ever left Vegas? Up?
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Forty five?
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Oh it's a good. Oh, it's a good trip.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
And that was my bachelor party because I hit I
hit a slot machine.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Oh, such a dumb way to win money. It's like,
it's not excited, it's all.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
So it's my favorite way because you don't even have
to think.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Because so we met on The Goat, which is a
reality show that's out now on Prime. A month before
the show began taping, I get an offer to host
this show. I don't get offers a lot because I
say no to everything. And I'm reading this and I
had just had a baby, and I tell my wife,
I go, what do you think of this offer to
(16:25):
go to Atlanta? And she's like, we just have a baby.
You promised me that you'd like stay here, not do
anything for this one because the last time in my
first child, like I was filming the day of on
Tosh Pointo. So anyway, I said, but listen, this could
be one of these shows that works. Like it's silly,
(16:47):
I understand it on paper and if it is good,
I'm going to be mad watching this ten years from now,
saying I could have had that gig. It's only three
weeks of work a year. She's like, we're not doing
I go okay, I go, well, what if? What if
they give us a huge mansion and a private jet
to get there? I just started listing anything I could
(17:08):
think of that would make her say, all right, let's
take or at the time four week old new born
baby across the country to do this. So then we
came up with this ridiculous list and they kept asking
me to do it, and I was like, all right, well,
will you do all these things? And then they started
saying yes, And I was like, oh fuck, Carly, we're
gonna have to go to Atlanta. What did you make
(17:31):
real money? Can?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I guess yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:34):
But more so I was like, should we do this?
And then I kept saying she was like fine, so
we uh we go, and everybody stayed with me. I
brought I like, I added to my contract. I want
my own my own writers, I want my own producer,
I want my own whatever. Sounds like a dream dream Well,
and again they were to posses. I don't know what
(17:56):
they were gonna do if I didn't do this. I
was not. First, let's be clear, they had gone through
people that had gone away, and they were in a
situation we're interesting, and then they're like, hey, we got
him on the hook. He might actually agree to do this,
and then they had gone too far down the road.
I rented a mansion, the most obnoxious thing I could find.
(18:17):
But I rented this mansion mainly because it had a
crazy driveway and uh and the pool had a big,
huge slide. I'm like, oh, my son's going to love
this slide. Meanwhile, it's one of those slides before h
insurance companies got a hold of people and like, you
can't have a slide like this because everyone got hurt
that went down it. Yeah, my cousin by marriage, she
(18:39):
broke her thumb on the slide. It was bad. The pool.
The guy when we rent this place, he goes people
usually just rent this place for like a wedding, not
to actually stay in the house. When we're standing here
for a month, he's like, well, the pool. It's either
the pool or the hot tub. We can only heat
one temperature. And I'm like, well, we want one hundred
degrees for the hot tub. He goes, okay, well that
means everything's going to be a hundred degrees. So this
(19:02):
massive lagoon style pool with huge waterfalls, we had one
hundred degrees.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
It's like a hot spring.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
It was, but like like algae was growing in it
because it's not a good temperature to keep. This is
just our house. This is the nonsense that's going mean.
I've got a baby. So every night, you know, we're shooting.
They make you shoot these stupid shows in the middle
of the night. I was there, I know, right, but
I'm having to go back to this other mansion thirty
(19:32):
minutes away.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
God for bed right.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
To stay up with a four week old. Yeah. Like
it was just it was just a nuts and they
were everyone was going crazy. Here's how they sold me
in the show. We're not making fun of people that
are doing the show. And I was like, good, I
don't want to do that show. I want to have fun.
I want it to be lighthearted. I want to be silly,
but we're mocking the whole genre of living together in
(19:57):
competitions And I was like, okay, that's what they sold
me on. Yeah, and then the show starts coming out,
I'm like, guys, you're taking this too seriously, not you
the producers. And then like one time in the first event,
you're like, hey, guys, can we all fucking calm down?
This is this is just a silly, silly game. Yeah, right,
So then I was like, Okay, Joe's one person that
(20:19):
I got it. I understood, right, Yeah, it wasn't meant
to be. That's why when everybody's getting upset with people, like, guys,
you're looking like idiots, just fucking calmed down.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Do you remember how much they were screaming that first episode?
It was insane?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Can I ask you a question? Yes, out of.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
The contestants, who were you the biggest fan of before hosting.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
This Taysha and now after Tasha?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Honestly though for.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Real, no, no, I was. Let's being honest, although you weren't.
It wasn't supposed to be you. I thought I thought
I was supposed to be when I had seen the
first list. You were supposed to be what's his name?
Who is the guy that married uh, the the Canadian
teacher Nick Vile. Yeah, I think you were supposed to
be Nick Vile.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
So me and you were replacements.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
And then or you were supposed to be snooky. Uh,
I don't know for sure. How much did they tell
you about the goat before you agreed to do the show.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
They don't tell you much. They tell you how much
money they Yeah, they tell you how much money. And
I didn't know I was going on the show, probably
because it was potentially nick un till I want to say,
ten days prior. And then they just really staid pack
colorful clothing.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I made fun of your clothes a lot, I know,
but I there was just one shirt that just to me,
it just looked like, look, you just looked so wholesome,
as brown as some stripes across the trailer.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, it does you you did nall it on the head.
It looks like a third grade.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
There's all right. So you didn't know much about it.
You knew how much you were getting paid. Now, do
you get Is that the same as like Dancing with
Stars where you get a lump sum plus every episode
that you stay in. Yes, yeah, so that's what that's
what brings the competitive nature out.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
And you know, it's like it's like playing a board game.
You know, once you're in it, you're in it, and
then you're you're you're there to compete, but.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
You're you're competing against some people, like like real housewives
that certainly didn't need the money. So that's that's a
silly thing.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Yeah, that was a problem. It was because then you know,
like some could say, no, one, we can't talk about that.
You know, it's very hard to.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Talk about a show that you can't talk about. Yeah,
we filmed the show in Atlanta. The producers they're coming
to me and they're like, hey, you know, we don't
ever want you to mention where we are. Then the
very first cut I see, the first credit that appears,
is a big fucking logo of a peach with Georgia
written above it. Oh I'm not allowed to mention where
(22:56):
we are? Why?
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Why what it was? Why can't you mentioned it?
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Because you want you want to make it like, oh,
who knows where it is? It could be anywhere, they
could be anywhere. I don't understand Atlanta at all. It
was the fucking grossest neighborhood. And then there was just
this random dirt road that went way back and this
huge mansion that was built by a former Indianapolis Colts player.
(23:22):
It had sit vacant and so we rented to shoot
this show, and it's meant to be a house. It's
not meant to film a show with hundreds of employees
just shitting. So the plumbing goes out. The plumbing went
out constantly. I don't know if you noticed that.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
No, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Your plumbing will work.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh we were fine. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Did you ever go into the garage.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
They wouldn't let me in there. I tried to walk
in there.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
So the garage and it's it was like a ten
car garage is just filled with just screens of every
hidden camera in the house and all the people watching you.
So I found that interesting to watch how the sausage
was made. The thing is, I would be sitting downstairs
when I would come to work. I would sit in
the basement and I would have a TV of all
(24:06):
the cameras, and then I would have some people tell
me what I missed, Who said what, and blah blah blah.
So I could see everybody's little plans live Like you, you
always pretended to be like, oh, I'm just playing the
dumb guy. But I saw you do a lot of
dumb shit that was not planned.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
So but I was good at making it seem like
a lot of them.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Okay, okay. So then we get cuts of the show
and you and I had had some banda. I was
teasing you constantly. We had a lot of fun, right,
They didn't put a lot of that stuff in there.
How about well, I can't even probably can't even say it.
Say it when I shot the firework backwards?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Is that in there?
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I don't think. So that was funny. I asked you
if I was allowed to call you. I said, I
know this is a racial epithet goomba. I said, could
you explain to me what it is? And you explained
it to me, and then I said, I am I
allowed to call you that if is like it? And
you said yes or something. But it was so there
was some back and forth about it, and that never
(25:05):
saw the light of day. Wow, what is what does
gumba mean?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
I think it's a slang for like an Italian, but
it means like yo, oh.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Hey I'm a Talian. Well it's not in the show.
Some of the stuff I fought for. But like, here's
the thing. We shot this a year ago. I know
one year ago you looked the same though, Thanksome, But
they're like asking me to give notes on these episodes?
Dom you. When I give notes for a show, I
give them one time and then I want you to
(25:35):
take my notes. I know what's funny, what's not funny? Yeah,
that's it. But these these are twenty back and forth
over a year. You think, I remember what funny thing
I said when you shot fireworks into your face? I
can't remember every line?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Now?
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Am I saying that this show would be a million
times better if they did everything that I said? Yes?
But they you know, other people have jobs, I guess,
and there's just it was just weird?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Am I funny?
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Yeah? You're funny?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Am I the funniest?
Speaker 3 (26:05):
I mean it depends.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I'm taking you out of the equation.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
No, no, no, I wasn't gonna put you in my category.
You're the funniest if if if probably intentionally, and then
other people, you know, they cut them to be funny.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
So that so then I'm I'm probably the most talented
when it comes to being funny.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Did you win the goat? Did I win? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
I can't disclose.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
You're so properly pr trained. What did the cast really
think of me?
Speaker 1 (26:35):
I think I think they all liked you. I would
say I liked you the most.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
That's why you're here.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
I enjoyed your presence when you were there. It made
me feel somewhat better about myself.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
That's nice. It's actually really nice. Nice to say. Reality
hosts are usually pretty dry. Did you find me funny? Yah?
I just said, yeah, funny? How funny? Like a clown?
You know that you use? We're doing a bit there?
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, I get it. There in New York, they there's
like a real estate company that does that bit around
a poker table and they have like a twelve year
old girl do it with like a family, and it
plays in the cabs in New York. It's so bad.
It's incredibly bad. I watch it. I cannot believe somebody
paid to make that.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
But you like it?
Speaker 1 (27:24):
No, I actually hate it. I hate it, and I
really want you to say it's still worst.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Okay, I'll find it. I'll watch. I got a gift
for you, Oh really? Yeah? I love that. I always
give people something that comes on my show to have
something from my house that I don't want anymore. Now,
this this is this is you get. This is a
two part of This is your wedding gift. Okay, this
is a knife sharpener. Come on, man, is he here, Eddie? Yeah,
Eddie's trying to Eddie bought me this. Eddie bought me
(27:52):
this for Christmas a couple of years ago. I've never
once used it, still perfectly the cord. You can tell.
Never used it, Eddie, What did you pay for this?
This is a couple of hundred is a couple of
hundred dollars. Never once took used it, never even thought
of using it. And it's a knife sharpener, and I
thought it'd be funny to bring it here for Eddie's reaction.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
So this is this mine? Now, Yeah, thank you. I
don't know if you can fly with a knife.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Sharp you can fly with a knife sharpener.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Take it off your hands, Okay, So that's it's a
Model fifteen x V.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
That's a good one. That's not the only gift. That's
not the only gift. I got it then because I
was teasing you about your wardrobe, and I know you
like to gamble. I'm giving you this is one of
my show jackets when I'm in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Zippers up there. It's from oh, from Zach Sacks.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
No, it's not from sex. That's just an old bag.
This is nice. You like this. Oh, look at that
for when you're in Vegas. You're gonna love it. Go
ahead for me, Yeah, put it on, see if it fits.
All right, this is great.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I wasn't expecting a jacket.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Well it might not work with that jacket on it.
You might be broader than I thought.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Yeah, I told you my body's not bad.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
I think if you hadn't, if you didn't have the
jacket or anything, it could be good. How's a look?
Well it looks good now, but it looks weird with Yeah,
what size are you?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I'm a forty usual?
Speaker 3 (29:17):
I eate forty two. I don't know. I usually get
a tailored You're you're not forty two. Well, that jacket
doesn't fix anything. This is a thirty.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
This is the thirty eight.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
No, listen, Joe, what would your first illusion be? Yes,
all right, take take that off. Okay, they're gonna love it.
What have you been up to since the goat concluded?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Well?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I got married.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
We had our wedding, but.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
You're already married, right, and you just did like a
formal one.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
A formal wedding in Charleston. I have a podcast.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
What's the name of your podcast?
Speaker 1 (29:51):
A happy Hour it's like a Bachelor podcast, but you.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Don't own it. No, they just put somebody on it. Yeah,
but are you making some decent scratch with it?
Speaker 1 (29:58):
I might get paid for it.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
That's another thing I don't know about these, uh Bachelor.
I always told my wife if she died, I would
go on the Bachelor. I would want to be the Bachelor. Yeah,
but like, I don't think they would allow what I
want to do.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah, well I don't think you could. Come on, Let's
rearrange the way the show works.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Let's get everybody has to be naked. There's no world
where I'm going to marry somebody that I haven't seen
naked in the daylight.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Well, eventually you will before you marry her.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Your wife, that's who you want. You want somebody that
fucking walked off the show right before, like the very end.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah, she didn't want to get engaged when when I asked.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Her her season? What was the guy's name? Bet James?
I watched that. Are you friends with him? Hold on?
Are you friends with him? Yeah? No, I do.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I do like him.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Here's what I liked about Matt James. I remember the
very first episode he started by asking everybody to pray,
and I was like, oh shit, oh shit, this is awful.
We're all gonna pray, all twenty five of you women
that I hopefully get to have sex with. I'm let's
(31:06):
first have a nice and then the girls are like, oh,
this is this is so meaningful, this is what I wanted.
It just the most insane way to start a show
that is basically built around debauchery. We're gonna have this
nice prayer to start it off. All right, how's marriage
been married?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Life is wonderful, it's great.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
How long you been married? Now? Two years? She's Canadian?
Speaker 1 (31:27):
She's from Toronto.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
She Canadian? Yeah, oh I'm making sure. Yeah, some people
live in Toronto. But all right, so she's Canadian. I
always say, don't marry somebody from a different country, but
I don't consider Canada a different country.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yeah, but there's a lot more to it than we
initially thought. Oh yeah, like it is another country. Oh
so like all like you have to you know, there's
like immigration.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
And she can become a citizens citizen potentially, potentially, are
you going to move to Canada right now?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
We're trying to stay in the States, so we'll see
what happens. But I do I enjoyed Toronto.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
Toronto sucks.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
You don't like Toronto? No? Oh, you really don't like
huhuh okay, yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Give me Nova Scotia, give me Montreal, give me Vancouver, sure,
but Toronto hard pass Nova Scotia. Sure.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
I've never been there.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Nicest people on the planet interesting, and that what they're
known for. I think that. I think it's they're considered
the nicest people on the planet. Whatever. One time I
did a show that they protested it. Wow, that's true.
You can't spell for shit? Neither can I thought, I
could you give you a word? Yeah, all right, let's see,
(32:40):
let's see how you do. I'll just let me just
pick a random word and let's just see how you
do on a single word. Bachelorette.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
That is the war word that I screw that word
up every time I could spell the Bachelor. Spell bachelorette
b A C H E, L O R E T
T E.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
That's all right, that's pretty good. Thank you? Were you scared?
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I was nervous.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Why are you still not on cameo? I feel like
you're leaving a lot of money on the table.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
I know I never wanted to do cameo.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
You don't want to say happy birthday to people?
Speaker 1 (33:25):
I just I don't want to charge people for me
to say happy birthday to down fair enough?
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Fair enough? Can we give out your number and let
people just text you for free?
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Car accidentally? Did do that?
Speaker 3 (33:37):
You gave out your number? One? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (33:38):
And I and I gave out my Starbucks gift card
once because I was trying to be nice for Christmas,
like pay it forward kind of thing, and I put
it on my Instagram and I filled it with a
couple hundred bucks for people to to get their coffees.
And then every time I put more money in it, it
would get it would get whacked because people still had
my number.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Oh man, you gotta did you change it?
Speaker 1 (34:01):
I just don't use it anymore.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
No, you get you get harassed, recognized, any of that stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I don't get harassed, but I still do get recognized.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
And are you nice to people?
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I'm very nice.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
I think it's fun to not be nice all the time.
But I have a different reputation.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
Like if somebody comes up to me and says, hey,
I'm a fan, can I take a photo? I'm like no,
and they just walk away.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Really that's how you do.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
I'll do that sometimes because that makes him laugh, like
he just scream. But you go back now. I don't
go back back then.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
I'm gonna try it.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
You and your wife both do the podcast?
Speaker 1 (34:35):
We do it together?
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Are you guys both like lifers? Are you gonna just
keep doing different reality projects if they come along?
Speaker 1 (34:42):
I mean, if I get asked to do another reality show,
I would entertain it.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
But we'll see.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
I mean, if it fits the schedule.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Sure, what's your schedule?
Speaker 1 (34:51):
It's pretty open.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Right, You're you're smart enough to realize, oh this is
this is interesting and I'll take this as long as
I can.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, I'm writing this wave you do.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
I mean, listen, if any anyone has taken a small
little pop and fame and turn it into a career,
it's you.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Well, who else from the show? Have you have? You?
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Are you anna ask on your on your show? You're
the last one, the end, the only one? Right, No,
I've we've we've done them all.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Oh no, yeah, see, I mean there's I mean, think
about it.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
I'm gonna think about it. Think about what what do
you want me to think about?
Speaker 1 (35:28):
Why did you only ask me? I don't know because
you see raw talent.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Because you're silly.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
I'm a silly guys, You're.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Silly, funny Joe, thank you for being on the show,
and congratulations on all your success. Look forward to watching
you this season on The Goat.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Look at that handshake so strong, Pasha, I want to
thank grocery store Joe for being on the podcast. You
find Joe interesting? Huh, Carl, do you find Joe interesting?
He really tickles me. The first three episodes of The
(36:11):
Goat are now available on set Carl Prime Video. They're
available the first three, then every Thursday, a new one's
gonna drop. By the way, this is two days after
Mother's Day, but technically I'm recording this before Mother's Day.
(36:33):
So let's just get this out of the way. That way,
I won't have to do it on Mother's Day. Hey,
happy Mother's Day. But do you do it kind of
be the first of the first? Well this this is
(36:55):
gonna air after Mother's Day, so I'm doing it on
the air an official Mother's Day, most meaningful. Well, you're first,
but it doesn't count because it's not Sunday. How are
you feeling physically? I'm fine?
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Thank you, except that.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
I was very concerned because your sister and your niece
and their family, they were under tornado all.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
Night last night.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
So I was upmost of the night texting with them
and there.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
But they're all fine, So that's good.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Oh that's good. Is that it?
Speaker 5 (37:26):
That's it, that's it.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Happy Mother's Day. Thank you, love you, love you. By Hey,
I want to thank everyone that came out to the Dolby.
That was a pretty neat experience. My poor son. I
was going to exploit him. I was like, Hey, do
you want to do the intro for me at the
Dolby where they, you know, do the oscars And he
(37:48):
said yes. He was very excited. He had a joke
planned and everything. He was going to walk out there,
and the day of he was like, I don't know.
He's like he just kept saying, I don't I don't
know if I feel like doing it. And then he
started complaining about being sick. And I'm like, oh no,
I'm like, did I do you have like butterflies? Are
you nervous? And I put this on you about doing
(38:09):
this intro and I so I felt horrible. I was like,
this is this is awful. I'm a stage parent. Like
forcing my kid to do something that he doesn't want
to do, and he's then he then there'd be like
waves where he's like, no, no, I really want to
do it. I was like, okay, we'll just do it backstage,
and I hand you a mic and you can do it,
and you walk out and just take a little bow
(38:30):
with me, and and and he was and he did it,
and it was funny. He passed out immediately after in
(38:52):
the green room and we drive we're driving home and
he just starts vomiting, just all over himself, just all
over us, and I'm trying to clean it up, like
We're like five minutes from home, and it's just covered
in vomit, and I'm like, what have I done? I'm
just sopping everything up. So that was, you know, the
(39:14):
big night in Hollywood. I'm had a prestigious theater, I
do a show, and I'm just covered in my son's puke.
Then the next day I didn't feel so bad because
like nine of his classmates had this bug and all
of them had vomited. So I was like, oh, it's awesome,
(39:36):
it's not my fault you. But he recovered and I'm
glad he did it. Because it's a neat little memory.
He did great. Speaking of shows, May eighteenth, I'm back
in Vegas at the Cosmopolitan. That is going to be exciting,
my first time performing there. Get tickets. I also have
other dates coming up Louisville, Kentucky. Uh so, I don't
(40:01):
know where else Detroit outside of Detroit, Columbus, Indianapolis. Come on, Indianapolis.
What's going on? Boyswarpink dot com. I guess now it's
time for one of my son's bedtime stories. Have fun
with this nonsense. He was off the rails and I
don't edit these, but you'll you'll notice my tone at
(40:23):
the end of it is like, Hey, time for bed kid,
see you next week.
Speaker 5 (40:28):
Okay, what upon the time a killa datto or flying
in the Wayne heat, he'd fly to keep with the either,
So we're tear of gattos. But he tried it for
they too.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
Way.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
He stout down the.
Speaker 5 (40:50):
Truth, and then one outside those into and then the
foot that killed, trying the adapt that finding away, and
then said we don't want to stay on, and then
(41:13):
blot out of window into the sign and they saw
down their dad, and then and then and then the
two and then the other two got to bloat, and
then the occupus it all your jackals, and then and
(41:35):
then they just rounded to a side. But and then
and then.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
The sand and they bloted and a bit hold on ate.
Speaker 5 (41:47):
The fan, and then they were in a secal and
and they turn in a seclcause they were.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Two bre in a sea. Wrap this story up right now,
and they're the light.
Speaker 5 (42:04):
And then it finds so white, and they brewed away
and then they just the golfing helps you go. And
then they're a tupid author all the ta down and
then your mommy and Janny and the day eight ah
the t Baco and swind up a mountain and the
(42:28):
foot downs on the mountain and then cowered and then
Speaker 3 (42:32):
They cool get in bed Dan Dan
Can I ask you a question? Yes, out of the contestants,
who were you the biggest fan of before hosting.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
This Tasha and now after Tashash show?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
What what what what? I'm what the culture is feeling?
Woo Kendrick coming with that smoke. Huhuh so good to
show team Kendrick. I'm what the culture is feeling. I
just like him. He says that, you know, we all
(00:44):
are descendants from a single tribe in Africa, so don't
even say that I'm not black enough, you know. And
then Kendrick, He's accusing Drake of pedophilia. I mean, I
don't know what's going on every but he is being
accused of being a pedophile lately. Jimmy Kimmel got it
(01:04):
all Democrats. It's one of those things where it's like,
is this always been the way it has been? But
like now I have children, so I'm just hyper aware
that there's just pedophiles everywhere. Or is it like when
you break up with a girl and you think every
song is is just you know, it's just cutting a
(01:24):
little different. I don't know, but apparently I'm just surrounded
by pedophiles. Here's the thing people always say, you know, like, oh,
you should be a part of the roast. When they
do roasts, I'd much rather watch a rat battle because
rat battles there's consequences, you know. It's it's like, oh, yeah,
(01:46):
we're I'm gonna take a shot. Literally. Did you watch
the roast, Eddie?
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I did.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I watched it the whole thing, watched.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I think I might have missed the very beginning.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Haven't gone back to check it out. It's long, it
is long. Did they do any jokes about Kevin Hart's height? Yes,
that's the problem with the roast. They're just mean. People's
feelings get hurt. If I was off there, I would
try as hard as I could to cry, just see
if maybe they'd stop. The people have always asked if
(02:18):
I will be on the roast, and I've to be honest.
I saw Jeff Ross the week before the roast, and
he encouraged me. He said I should do one. He
looks like he was in that Dune sequel. He does
you know what I'm talking about? Maybe I'll hold out.
(02:39):
You know who I want to roast? Seinfeld Man? Oh Man.
Wouldn't that be a fun roast? Seinfeld And here's how
I would want this to go. I would want to
be the host of this. I would want to be
the host of the Jerry Seinfeld Roast, And then I'd
want no comics to show up, and I'd want no
audience to show up. And it's just two hours of
(03:01):
me looking at Jerry gone, Eh, this speaks volumes, doesn't
It turns out you're you're not as loved by your
peers as you once thought. Just so much lately with
him just being up in arms about everything. You can't
do this anymore. What are you talking? It's like me complaining.
Oh yeah, the kids today? Then they're viral videos. They're
(03:25):
just not as good as when I used to make
jokes about viral videos in my heyday. A viral video,
you know, you to have somebody, a disabled person fall
down a flight of stairs and we just have a
good laugh. You see how dumb that sounds. For God,
it's made is living into observations. Fuck yeah, just look
(03:46):
in the mirror for a second. Oh I don't want
to I don't want to become this person. He's been
going after everyone. He's been going after comedians with podcasts.
You're not that interesting, I get. I couldn't agree with
you more, Grandpa, I don't think I'm interesting. This isn't
what I wanted to do with my life. What I
(04:07):
wanted to do was get on a reality show. That
was my goal. That's why I got into show business
to someday get on a reality show. And last year,
when Amazon came calling and offered me a chance to
live out my dream, I jumped at it. Then I
found out that they didn't want me on the show.
They wanted me to host it. I was a little
(04:28):
let down, but at least I was given an opportunity
to meet my TV idols. Enjoy. Pasha, my guest today,
has appeared very briefly on The Bachelor, Dancing with the Stars,
and Love on the Spectrum. You can see him now
(04:52):
on The Goat on Prime, hosted by Little Old Me.
Please Welcome Grocery Store Joe Spectrum. It's a great show.
I just started watching it. Okay, so you weren't on
that show. No, gar research is garbage. Yeah, that's my fault,
all right. Do you believe in ghosts?
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
No?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Okay, No ever thought about changing your name to instacart Joe.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I honestly think I would have got more Instagram followers
if I if my name would have been grocery store Joe.
But my last name's hardest spell and pronounce. You probably
can't even do it.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Huh huh. But did you think I always said Instagram
versus Instacart.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Uh, that's where my mind went. Yeah, that is where
my mind went.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I was just like, because instacrt is just a little
more updated.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Is instacart still around?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Yeah? Okay, you go to the grocery store.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Serena orders off of Amazon. Right, so I'm plugging. I
just plugged the.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Show Team Team Prime. Where'd you grow up?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
I grew up in a town called Melos Park in Chicago.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
You like Chicago?
Speaker 5 (05:53):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I like it where dummies put pickles on hot dogs
and call asagnya pizza.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
I don't like deep dish pizza.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
No one does.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
And I take the pickle off my hot dog.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
What do you do with the pickle? I take a
bite of it. Did you major in groceries at college?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
I actually didn't go to college.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
You didn't go to college? Not a day.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
No, I barely graduated high school. I got to school.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Yeah, I got through it. I got through it. You
found high school tricky.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
I had the option not to go to college after
we all.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Have the option, and I took that option.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I loved it.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
We're in trouble of the country. In your opinion, what
is the best grocery store? And don't just say Whole
Foods because Amazon owns them and they're the ones that
made the goat available on Prime. I shop at Whole Foods,
so yea, yeah, Whole food is not my favorite. Air One.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I bought a thirty dollars bottle of water there because
I couldn't believe it was thirty dollars.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Good for you.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
It tasted the same, but it was out of a
wall Inake, Washington.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
I respect. I respect that you saw that it was
thirty dollars, said I have to own this water.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Air One's great, it's expensive.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
But it's just the girls that are in that store.
It's just ridiculous. Every time I walk in there, I'm like, oh,
holy cow, arawon is it's And then I like then
I like look down, I'm like, oh, there's my little wife.
Come on, honey, how small is your wife? She's tiny?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Really?
Speaker 3 (07:16):
When did you start selling Marinara sauce.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Two thy and twenty because it was during.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
COVID what's it called. What's it called Sundays with Joe?
All right, pop quiz, hot shot? How much sodium is
in one serving of your sweet Marinara sauce?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
What is it measured in?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
All right, let's just go percentage of daily nutritional value?
Thirty twenty seven percent? Okay, all right, yeah, all right.
People may not know your story. You were on the Bachelor,
you were you were a night one loser. Were you
upset with yourself? You're like, oh fuck, I made myself
look stupid? Or no, well, is the Bachelorette whatever? Okay,
(07:56):
you're on the Bachelorette. You're on there night one and
she kicks you out? Who was a girl? Back of?
It was upsetting. It was upsetting.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
I felt embarrassed to go on in the first place,
just because I thought I was like too cool, huh,
And then to be one of the guys that didn't
receive a rows felt pretty pathetic.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Did you talk to her that night? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
But I couldn't really form a sentence because I was
really nervous. Like you see, you've seen me really great
on camera, like I'm funny and I'm charismatic, but that
didn't really come across that didn't come across Night one.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
People always but I didn't get any time. Why wouldn't
you just force yourself. You're on this show, like I'm
going to go right now and talk to this person.
How do they keep some people from actually talking to them?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
They just say it's not your turn, and then most
people listen. But I I had the first conversation kiss no.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And then how long from when that night happened to
when the episode aired? How long of a gap is that?
Speaker 1 (08:49):
That was like a I want to say, two months.
And then the show aired and I thought I was
gonna look terrible, and I looked incredible, and then I
trended on Twitter. It was it was it was basically
national news.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
See now, I have a rule that I don't have
celebrities on my show.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
That's why I'm shocked them here.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I don't consider you a celebrity. You get famous for
two minutes of airtime and you have this normal life,
but now you don't have the finances to like shelter
yourself from all the nonsense it's about to come your way?
How is that?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
That's why I went on the Goat, and that's why
I own bitcoin.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
True.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Well, let's talk about though, it isn't it weird to
I mean, because it's weird to be like, all of
a sudden, now you're famous. But it's like if I'm famous,
I get to go to my house in a neighborhood
that nobody lives in. I close the wall to the gate.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Well, something that I learned is attention is better than money.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Oh it's the opposite. Yeah, but money is great. You
don't want any attention.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yeah, and then you know you don't make any money,
and then you then they ask you to do other
reality shows.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
How much money did you make on your actual appearance
of the batchelor Arette that one single episode?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Nothing? You don't get paid, Yeah, you don't.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
There's unions. You have to get some money.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
You don't get paid. Bullshit, I'm not lying.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
You got zero dollars zero.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I thought you get you get paid to do Bachelor
in Paradise, which was another shot.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
But you get paid to be the bachelorette of the Bachelor.
They get paid, but you don't get paid to be
a Contestants don't get paid for being on a show.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
And I'm such a fucking idiot. I went to tom
I went to Gucci and bought a suit, okay, and
then the suit, the suit didn't fit me right, and
I freaked out the day before. So then I went
to tom Ford and bought a suit and I basically
spent like nine thousand dollars in suits so much.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Okay, So he did that. Then a year later, you
did The Bachelor in Paradise. Oh, then you were into
that that what's her name? And that didn't work out
with you, but you dated her forbid? Or do you
guys get engaged?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Who are we the first person one I've been on
plenty of seasons?
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Did you get engaged?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
No? We just we dated.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
But she was a twin and she was into fucking
dead animals.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah, Taxi Durmy.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
That's there's a few red flags. That's all I'm saying.
When you watch those shows, because your body is not great,
what do you mean, like you're like a normal dude.
But those all those guys, are you intimidated? They're all
so jacked.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I feel like I feel like I actually have a
nice body.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Your body's gotten better.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
You don't think that doesn't look good on on the
on the goat?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
No, no, no, no, no, Now, that's what I'm saying. I'm
saying probably from from from the first time you're on
reality television until now your body's probably I like to I.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Enjoy food, so I don't like I'll eat I like
to eat a cheeseburger and I like pizza.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Sure, yeah, I'm just don't. I'm not. You don't be
self conscious like you're talking to somebody that's got an
awful body. But those guys are all so jacked. Yeah
they care, Yeah, they really care.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Like when we're when you're in Paradise, a lot of
guys don't even drink beer because it's got carbs. Not
me though, really, Yeah, what a waste of a trip.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, why does everybody uh clamor for a date card?
I would just be like, if I'm interested in a
girl that's there, I just fuck want to hang out
on the beach all day and try to make out.
That's what I did, right. Why do people care so
much about it going on the fucking date because they
want your time? Right, That's all it is. Yeah, I
get it. And people are always like, oh, how I've
(12:13):
made this joke before where people get like, how could
you actually find somebody that you really love? And that
to me is absurd because put me in any room
you can find eventually, I'm gonna fall in love with
somebody in that room. I agree, that's just how it
just how it works. So then you do the show
again and you fall in love a second time with
the girl, and now you're happily married. Yes, end and
(12:36):
she and she's what is twenty two years younger than you?
She is?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
It's a it's a ten to eleven year difference.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
My wife's younger than in that gap at times.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
At times it's ten years and at other times it's
eleven year different.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Mine's twelve and someone's thirteen. I think our gap, let
me tell you this always bothers me. Do people give
you any grief for marrying somebody so young? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Sometimes, And I agree with that. I think we're I
think we're emotionally and you know, we're on the same level.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Why always think it's funy when people stay like like
if a guy it's usually a guy dating a younger girl,
and they're like, oh my, what do you have in common?
What can you talk to a twenty two year old about?
I'm like, what kind of conversations are you having? Because
I can fucking have the same conversation with a twenty
two year old that I can my.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Father like, I agree one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Then you did Dance with the Stars too, Oh.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Yeah, that was in between.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Did you like that? Did you get paid a lot
for that?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
You got paid for that? Yeah, that was a nice
paid six.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Figures, yeah, mid six figures. That's five hundred down.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Then no, no.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
It doesn't matter how long you stay on for those shows,
you get paid more.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yes, so you get an upfront and then weekly. The
longer you stay, the more you make. And I admit it.
To the semifinals.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
What place did you get all? Fourth or fifth? Do
you enjoy dancing? I hated it because I know, like
everything that I know about you and watching you do
physical things is it's just it's bad.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Your balance is poor.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
My balance wasn't poor that day. It was my shoes.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I didn't have shoes fucking everything. He said, Like, it's
not true, your shoes aren't. Some people have good balance
and some people don't.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I have average balance.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
No, you don't bad balance. Would you ever do dancing
with the stars, I've done it. No, you have well
at home. I just you just dance every night. You
dance with my wife. I'm like, enjoy this, You're dancing
with the stars. I like that. No, I would never
do that show. I would never do that show. Ever,
there's a lot of shows that I wouldn't do. Would
(14:51):
you do? Uh? What shows wouldn't you do?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Probably Survivor. I don't think I would do Survive, even
though I say I would. I don't like the idea
of not being able to rush your teeth in the morning.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
That's your deal breaker. Yeah, that's a big deal break.
I think you're allowed to bring one item. You're a
fellow degenerate. Would you consider yourself a degenerator?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Now depends on how you defined degenerate.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Do you love Do you love the gamble?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
I enjoy gambling.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Do you love it so much? Does it make you
so happy when you sit down?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
I enjoy the first day, Like the first day in
Vegas is usually my favorite. But I don't gamble outside
of Vegas. I'm I'm controlled.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
That's kind of how I am about gambling. I like
that you can't do it everywhere. And I'm glad that
California killed sports betting because I was like, Oh, if
that happens, I'm gonna be a mess.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
I have on my phone. It's out there, but I
have a in notes I put don't don't sports gamble.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
So what's the most you've ever left Vegas? Up?
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Forty five?
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Oh it's a good. Oh, it's a good trip.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
And that was my bachelor party because I hit I
hit a slot machine.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Oh, such a dumb way to win money. It's like,
it's not excited, it's all.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
So it's my favorite way because you don't even have
to think.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Because so we met on The Goat, which is a
reality show that's out now on Prime. A month before
the show began taping, I get an offer to host
this show. I don't get offers a lot because I
say no to everything. And I'm reading this and I
had just had a baby, and I tell my wife,
I go, what do you think of this offer to
(16:25):
go to Atlanta? And she's like, we just have a baby.
You promised me that you'd like stay here, not do
anything for this one because the last time in my
first child, like I was filming the day of on
Tosh Pointo. So anyway, I said, but listen, this could
be one of these shows that works. Like it's silly,
(16:47):
I understand it on paper and if it is good,
I'm going to be mad watching this ten years from now,
saying I could have had that gig. It's only three
weeks of work a year. She's like, we're not doing
I go okay, I go, well, what if? What if
they give us a huge mansion and a private jet
to get there? I just started listing anything I could
(17:08):
think of that would make her say, all right, let's
take or at the time four week old new born
baby across the country to do this. So then we
came up with this ridiculous list and they kept asking
me to do it, and I was like, all right, well,
will you do all these things? And then they started
saying yes, And I was like, oh fuck, Carly, we're
gonna have to go to Atlanta. What did you make
(17:31):
real money? Can?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I guess yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:34):
But more so I was like, should we do this?
And then I kept saying she was like fine, so
we uh we go, and everybody stayed with me. I
brought I like, I added to my contract. I want
my own my own writers, I want my own producer,
I want my own whatever. Sounds like a dream dream Well,
and again they were to posses. I don't know what
(17:56):
they were gonna do if I didn't do this. I
was not. First, let's be clear, they had gone through
people that had gone away, and they were in a
situation we're interesting, and then they're like, hey, we got
him on the hook. He might actually agree to do this,
and then they had gone too far down the road.
I rented a mansion, the most obnoxious thing I could find.
(18:17):
But I rented this mansion mainly because it had a
crazy driveway and uh and the pool had a big,
huge slide. I'm like, oh, my son's going to love
this slide. Meanwhile, it's one of those slides before h
insurance companies got a hold of people and like, you
can't have a slide like this because everyone got hurt
that went down it. Yeah, my cousin by marriage, she
(18:39):
broke her thumb on the slide. It was bad. The pool.
The guy when we rent this place, he goes people
usually just rent this place for like a wedding, not
to actually stay in the house. When we're standing here
for a month, he's like, well, the pool. It's either
the pool or the hot tub. We can only heat
one temperature. And I'm like, well, we want one hundred
degrees for the hot tub. He goes, okay, well that
means everything's going to be a hundred degrees. So this
(19:02):
massive lagoon style pool with huge waterfalls, we had one
hundred degrees.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
It's like a hot spring.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
It was, but like like algae was growing in it
because it's not a good temperature to keep. This is
just our house. This is the nonsense that's going mean.
I've got a baby. So every night, you know, we're shooting.
They make you shoot these stupid shows in the middle
of the night. I was there, I know, right, but
I'm having to go back to this other mansion thirty
(19:32):
minutes away.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
God for bed right.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
To stay up with a four week old. Yeah. Like
it was just it was just a nuts and they
were everyone was going crazy. Here's how they sold me
in the show. We're not making fun of people that
are doing the show. And I was like, good, I
don't want to do that show. I want to have fun.
I want it to be lighthearted. I want to be silly,
but we're mocking the whole genre of living together in
(19:57):
competitions And I was like, okay, that's what they sold
me on. Yeah, and then the show starts coming out,
I'm like, guys, you're taking this too seriously, not you
the producers. And then like one time in the first event,
you're like, hey, guys, can we all fucking calm down?
This is this is just a silly, silly game. Yeah, right,
So then I was like, Okay, Joe's one person that
(20:19):
I got it. I understood, right, Yeah, it wasn't meant
to be. That's why when everybody's getting upset with people, like, guys,
you're looking like idiots, just fucking calmed down.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Do you remember how much they were screaming that first episode?
It was insane?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Can I ask you a question? Yes, out of.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
The contestants, who were you the biggest fan of before hosting.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
This Taysha and now after Tasha?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Honestly though for.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Real, no, no, I was. Let's being honest, although you weren't.
It wasn't supposed to be you. I thought I thought
I was supposed to be when I had seen the
first list. You were supposed to be what's his name?
Who is the guy that married uh, the the Canadian
teacher Nick Vile. Yeah, I think you were supposed to
be Nick Vile.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
So me and you were replacements.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
And then or you were supposed to be snooky. Uh,
I don't know for sure. How much did they tell
you about the goat before you agreed to do the show.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
They don't tell you much. They tell you how much
money they Yeah, they tell you how much money. And
I didn't know I was going on the show, probably
because it was potentially nick un till I want to say,
ten days prior. And then they just really staid pack
colorful clothing.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I made fun of your clothes a lot, I know,
but I there was just one shirt that just to me,
it just looked like, look, you just looked so wholesome,
as brown as some stripes across the trailer.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, it does you you did nall it on the head.
It looks like a third grade.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
There's all right. So you didn't know much about it.
You knew how much you were getting paid. Now, do
you get Is that the same as like Dancing with
Stars where you get a lump sum plus every episode
that you stay in. Yes, yeah, so that's what that's
what brings the competitive nature out.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
And you know, it's like it's like playing a board game.
You know, once you're in it, you're in it, and
then you're you're you're there to compete, but.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
You're you're competing against some people, like like real housewives
that certainly didn't need the money. So that's that's a
silly thing.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Yeah, that was a problem. It was because then you know,
like some could say, no, one, we can't talk about that.
You know, it's very hard to.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Talk about a show that you can't talk about. Yeah,
we filmed the show in Atlanta. The producers they're coming
to me and they're like, hey, you know, we don't
ever want you to mention where we are. Then the
very first cut I see, the first credit that appears,
is a big fucking logo of a peach with Georgia
written above it. Oh I'm not allowed to mention where
(22:56):
we are? Why?
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Why what it was? Why can't you mentioned it?
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Because you want you want to make it like, oh,
who knows where it is? It could be anywhere, they
could be anywhere. I don't understand Atlanta at all. It
was the fucking grossest neighborhood. And then there was just
this random dirt road that went way back and this
huge mansion that was built by a former Indianapolis Colts player.
(23:22):
It had sit vacant and so we rented to shoot
this show, and it's meant to be a house. It's
not meant to film a show with hundreds of employees
just shitting. So the plumbing goes out. The plumbing went
out constantly. I don't know if you noticed that.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
No, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Your plumbing will work.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh we were fine. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Did you ever go into the garage.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
They wouldn't let me in there. I tried to walk
in there.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
So the garage and it's it was like a ten
car garage is just filled with just screens of every
hidden camera in the house and all the people watching you.
So I found that interesting to watch how the sausage
was made. The thing is, I would be sitting downstairs
when I would come to work. I would sit in
the basement and I would have a TV of all
(24:06):
the cameras, and then I would have some people tell
me what I missed, Who said what, and blah blah blah.
So I could see everybody's little plans live Like you, you
always pretended to be like, oh, I'm just playing the
dumb guy. But I saw you do a lot of
dumb shit that was not planned.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
So but I was good at making it seem like
a lot of them.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Okay, okay. So then we get cuts of the show
and you and I had had some banda. I was
teasing you constantly. We had a lot of fun, right,
They didn't put a lot of that stuff in there.
How about well, I can't even probably can't even say it.
Say it when I shot the firework backwards?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Is that in there?
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I don't think. So that was funny. I asked you
if I was allowed to call you. I said, I
know this is a racial epithet goomba. I said, could
you explain to me what it is? And you explained
it to me, and then I said, I am I
allowed to call you that if is like it? And
you said yes or something. But it was so there
was some back and forth about it, and that never
(25:05):
saw the light of day. Wow, what is what does
gumba mean?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
I think it's a slang for like an Italian, but
it means like yo, oh.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Hey I'm a Talian. Well it's not in the show.
Some of the stuff I fought for. But like, here's
the thing. We shot this a year ago. I know
one year ago you looked the same though, Thanksome, But
they're like asking me to give notes on these episodes?
Dom you. When I give notes for a show, I
give them one time and then I want you to
(25:35):
take my notes. I know what's funny, what's not funny? Yeah,
that's it. But these these are twenty back and forth
over a year. You think, I remember what funny thing
I said when you shot fireworks into your face? I
can't remember every line?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Now?
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Am I saying that this show would be a million
times better if they did everything that I said? Yes?
But they you know, other people have jobs, I guess,
and there's just it was just weird?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Am I funny?
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Yeah? You're funny?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Am I the funniest?
Speaker 3 (26:05):
I mean it depends.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I'm taking you out of the equation.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
No, no, no, I wasn't gonna put you in my category.
You're the funniest if if if probably intentionally, and then
other people, you know, they cut them to be funny.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
So that so then I'm I'm probably the most talented
when it comes to being funny.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Did you win the goat? Did I win? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
I can't disclose.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
You're so properly pr trained. What did the cast really
think of me?
Speaker 1 (26:35):
I think I think they all liked you. I would
say I liked you the most.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
That's why you're here.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
I enjoyed your presence when you were there. It made
me feel somewhat better about myself.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
That's nice. It's actually really nice. Nice to say. Reality
hosts are usually pretty dry. Did you find me funny? Yah?
I just said, yeah, funny? How funny? Like a clown?
You know that you use? We're doing a bit there?
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, I get it. There in New York, they there's
like a real estate company that does that bit around
a poker table and they have like a twelve year
old girl do it with like a family, and it
plays in the cabs in New York. It's so bad.
It's incredibly bad. I watch it. I cannot believe somebody
paid to make that.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
But you like it?
Speaker 1 (27:24):
No, I actually hate it. I hate it, and I
really want you to say it's still worst.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Okay, I'll find it. I'll watch. I got a gift
for you, Oh really? Yeah? I love that. I always
give people something that comes on my show to have
something from my house that I don't want anymore. Now,
this this is this is you get. This is a
two part of This is your wedding gift. Okay, this
is a knife sharpener. Come on, man, is he here, Eddie? Yeah,
Eddie's trying to Eddie bought me this. Eddie bought me
(27:52):
this for Christmas a couple of years ago. I've never
once used it, still perfectly the cord. You can tell.
Never used it, Eddie, What did you pay for this?
This is a couple of hundred is a couple of
hundred dollars. Never once took used it, never even thought
of using it. And it's a knife sharpener, and I
thought it'd be funny to bring it here for Eddie's reaction.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
So this is this mine? Now, Yeah, thank you. I
don't know if you can fly with a knife.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Sharp you can fly with a knife sharpener.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Take it off your hands, Okay, So that's it's a
Model fifteen x V.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
That's a good one. That's not the only gift. That's
not the only gift. I got it then because I
was teasing you about your wardrobe, and I know you
like to gamble. I'm giving you this is one of
my show jackets when I'm in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Zippers up there. It's from oh, from Zach Sacks.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
No, it's not from sex. That's just an old bag.
This is nice. You like this. Oh, look at that
for when you're in Vegas. You're gonna love it. Go
ahead for me, Yeah, put it on, see if it fits.
All right, this is great.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I wasn't expecting a jacket.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Well it might not work with that jacket on it.
You might be broader than I thought.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Yeah, I told you my body's not bad.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
I think if you hadn't, if you didn't have the
jacket or anything, it could be good. How's a look?
Well it looks good now, but it looks weird with Yeah,
what size are you?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I'm a forty usual?
Speaker 3 (29:17):
I eate forty two. I don't know. I usually get
a tailored You're you're not forty two. Well, that jacket
doesn't fix anything. This is a thirty.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
This is the thirty eight.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
No, listen, Joe, what would your first illusion be? Yes,
all right, take take that off. Okay, they're gonna love it.
What have you been up to since the goat concluded?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Well?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I got married.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
We had our wedding, but.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
You're already married, right, and you just did like a
formal one.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
A formal wedding in Charleston. I have a podcast.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
What's the name of your podcast?
Speaker 1 (29:51):
A happy Hour it's like a Bachelor podcast, but you.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Don't own it. No, they just put somebody on it. Yeah,
but are you making some decent scratch with it?
Speaker 1 (29:58):
I might get paid for it.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
That's another thing I don't know about these, uh Bachelor.
I always told my wife if she died, I would
go on the Bachelor. I would want to be the Bachelor. Yeah,
but like, I don't think they would allow what I
want to do.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah, well I don't think you could. Come on, Let's
rearrange the way the show works.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Let's get everybody has to be naked. There's no world
where I'm going to marry somebody that I haven't seen
naked in the daylight.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Well, eventually you will before you marry her.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Your wife, that's who you want. You want somebody that
fucking walked off the show right before, like the very end.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah, she didn't want to get engaged when when I asked.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Her her season? What was the guy's name? Bet James?
I watched that. Are you friends with him? Hold on?
Are you friends with him? Yeah? No, I do.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I do like him.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Here's what I liked about Matt James. I remember the
very first episode he started by asking everybody to pray,
and I was like, oh shit, oh shit, this is awful.
We're all gonna pray, all twenty five of you women
that I hopefully get to have sex with. I'm let's
(31:06):
first have a nice and then the girls are like, oh,
this is this is so meaningful, this is what I wanted.
It just the most insane way to start a show
that is basically built around debauchery. We're gonna have this
nice prayer to start it off. All right, how's marriage
been married?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Life is wonderful, it's great.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
How long you been married? Now? Two years? She's Canadian?
Speaker 1 (31:27):
She's from Toronto.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
She Canadian? Yeah, oh I'm making sure. Yeah, some people
live in Toronto. But all right, so she's Canadian. I
always say, don't marry somebody from a different country, but
I don't consider Canada a different country.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yeah, but there's a lot more to it than we
initially thought. Oh yeah, like it is another country. Oh
so like all like you have to you know, there's
like immigration.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
And she can become a citizens citizen potentially, potentially, are
you going to move to Canada right now?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
We're trying to stay in the States, so we'll see
what happens. But I do I enjoyed Toronto.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
Toronto sucks.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
You don't like Toronto? No? Oh, you really don't like
huhuh okay, yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Give me Nova Scotia, give me Montreal, give me Vancouver, sure,
but Toronto hard pass Nova Scotia. Sure.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
I've never been there.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Nicest people on the planet interesting, and that what they're
known for. I think that. I think it's they're considered
the nicest people on the planet. Whatever. One time I
did a show that they protested it. Wow, that's true.
You can't spell for shit? Neither can I thought, I
could you give you a word? Yeah, all right, let's see,
(32:40):
let's see how you do. I'll just let me just
pick a random word and let's just see how you
do on a single word. Bachelorette.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
That is the war word that I screw that word
up every time I could spell the Bachelor. Spell bachelorette
b A C H E, L O R E T
T E.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
That's all right, that's pretty good. Thank you? Were you scared?
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I was nervous.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Why are you still not on cameo? I feel like
you're leaving a lot of money on the table.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
I know I never wanted to do cameo.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
You don't want to say happy birthday to people?
Speaker 1 (33:25):
I just I don't want to charge people for me
to say happy birthday to down fair enough?
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Fair enough? Can we give out your number and let
people just text you for free?
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Car accidentally? Did do that?
Speaker 3 (33:37):
You gave out your number? One? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (33:38):
And I and I gave out my Starbucks gift card
once because I was trying to be nice for Christmas,
like pay it forward kind of thing, and I put
it on my Instagram and I filled it with a
couple hundred bucks for people to to get their coffees.
And then every time I put more money in it, it
would get it would get whacked because people still had
my number.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Oh man, you gotta did you change it?
Speaker 1 (34:01):
I just don't use it anymore.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
No, you get you get harassed, recognized, any of that stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I don't get harassed, but I still do get recognized.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
And are you nice to people?
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I'm very nice.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
I think it's fun to not be nice all the time.
But I have a different reputation.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
Like if somebody comes up to me and says, hey,
I'm a fan, can I take a photo? I'm like no,
and they just walk away.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Really that's how you do.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
I'll do that sometimes because that makes him laugh, like
he just scream. But you go back now. I don't
go back back then.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
I'm gonna try it.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
You and your wife both do the podcast?
Speaker 1 (34:35):
We do it together?
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Are you guys both like lifers? Are you gonna just
keep doing different reality projects if they come along?
Speaker 1 (34:42):
I mean, if I get asked to do another reality show,
I would entertain it.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
But we'll see.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
I mean, if it fits the schedule.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Sure, what's your schedule?
Speaker 1 (34:51):
It's pretty open.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Right, You're you're smart enough to realize, oh this is
this is interesting and I'll take this as long as
I can.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, I'm writing this wave you do.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
I mean, listen, if any anyone has taken a small
little pop and fame and turn it into a career,
it's you.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Well, who else from the show? Have you have? You?
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Are you anna ask on your on your show? You're
the last one, the end, the only one? Right, No,
I've we've we've done them all.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Oh no, yeah, see, I mean there's I mean, think
about it.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
I'm gonna think about it. Think about what what do
you want me to think about?
Speaker 1 (35:28):
Why did you only ask me? I don't know because
you see raw talent.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Because you're silly.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
I'm a silly guys, You're.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Silly, funny Joe, thank you for being on the show,
and congratulations on all your success. Look forward to watching
you this season on The Goat.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Look at that handshake so strong, Pasha, I want to
thank grocery store Joe for being on the podcast. You
find Joe interesting? Huh, Carl, do you find Joe interesting?
He really tickles me. The first three episodes of The
(36:11):
Goat are now available on set Carl Prime Video. They're
available the first three, then every Thursday, a new one's
gonna drop. By the way, this is two days after
Mother's Day, but technically I'm recording this before Mother's Day.
(36:33):
So let's just get this out of the way. That way,
I won't have to do it on Mother's Day. Hey,
happy Mother's Day. But do you do it kind of
be the first of the first? Well this this is
(36:55):
gonna air after Mother's Day, so I'm doing it on
the air an official Mother's Day, most meaningful. Well, you're first,
but it doesn't count because it's not Sunday. How are
you feeling physically? I'm fine?
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Thank you, except that.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
I was very concerned because your sister and your niece
and their family, they were under tornado all.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
Night last night.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
So I was upmost of the night texting with them
and there.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
But they're all fine, So that's good.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Oh that's good. Is that it?
Speaker 5 (37:26):
That's it, that's it.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Happy Mother's Day. Thank you, love you, love you. By Hey,
I want to thank everyone that came out to the Dolby.
That was a pretty neat experience. My poor son. I
was going to exploit him. I was like, Hey, do
you want to do the intro for me at the
Dolby where they, you know, do the oscars And he
(37:48):
said yes. He was very excited. He had a joke
planned and everything. He was going to walk out there,
and the day of he was like, I don't know.
He's like he just kept saying, I don't I don't
know if I feel like doing it. And then he
started complaining about being sick. And I'm like, oh no,
I'm like, did I do you have like butterflies? Are
you nervous? And I put this on you about doing
(38:09):
this intro and I so I felt horrible. I was like,
this is this is awful. I'm a stage parent. Like
forcing my kid to do something that he doesn't want
to do, and he's then he then there'd be like
waves where he's like, no, no, I really want to
do it. I was like, okay, we'll just do it backstage,
and I hand you a mic and you can do it,
and you walk out and just take a little bow
(38:30):
with me, and and and he was and he did it,
and it was funny. He passed out immediately after in
(38:52):
the green room and we drive we're driving home and
he just starts vomiting, just all over himself, just all
over us, and I'm trying to clean it up, like
We're like five minutes from home, and it's just covered
in vomit, and I'm like, what have I done? I'm
just sopping everything up. So that was, you know, the
(39:14):
big night in Hollywood. I'm had a prestigious theater, I
do a show, and I'm just covered in my son's puke.
Then the next day I didn't feel so bad because
like nine of his classmates had this bug and all
of them had vomited. So I was like, oh, it's awesome,
(39:36):
it's not my fault you. But he recovered and I'm
glad he did it. Because it's a neat little memory.
He did great. Speaking of shows, May eighteenth, I'm back
in Vegas at the Cosmopolitan. That is going to be exciting,
my first time performing there. Get tickets. I also have
other dates coming up Louisville, Kentucky. Uh so, I don't
(40:01):
know where else Detroit outside of Detroit, Columbus, Indianapolis. Come on, Indianapolis.
What's going on? Boyswarpink dot com. I guess now it's
time for one of my son's bedtime stories. Have fun
with this nonsense. He was off the rails and I
don't edit these, but you'll you'll notice my tone at
(40:23):
the end of it is like, Hey, time for bed kid,
see you next week.
Speaker 5 (40:28):
Okay, what upon the time a killa datto or flying
in the Wayne heat, he'd fly to keep with the either,
So we're tear of gattos. But he tried it for
they too.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
Way.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
He stout down the.
Speaker 5 (40:50):
Truth, and then one outside those into and then the
foot that killed, trying the adapt that finding away, and
then said we don't want to stay on, and then
(41:13):
blot out of window into the sign and they saw
down their dad, and then and then and then the
two and then the other two got to bloat, and
then the occupus it all your jackals, and then and
(41:35):
then they just rounded to a side. But and then
and then.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
The sand and they bloted and a bit hold on ate.
Speaker 5 (41:47):
The fan, and then they were in a secal and
and they turn in a seclcause they were.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Two bre in a sea. Wrap this story up right now,
and they're the light.
Speaker 5 (42:04):
And then it finds so white, and they brewed away
and then they just the golfing helps you go. And
then they're a tupid author all the ta down and
then your mommy and Janny and the day eight ah
the t Baco and swind up a mountain and the
(42:28):
foot downs on the mountain and then cowered and then
Speaker 3 (42:32):
They cool get in bed Dan Dan
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