December 12, 2022 • 34 mins
Terra Newell’s life forever changed on August 20th, 2016. That was the day she heroically defended herself from her mother’s con-man ex-husband by remembering things she saw on ‘The Walking Dead’. The story would infamously become known as ‘Dirty John’. Six years later, Terra joins Caelynn to share the intimate real-life stories of the trauma and how she battled to put her life back together. TV saved Terra’s life, could hearing her story one day save another? It’s a True Crime Reality you really don’t want to miss.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to True Crime Reality with host Caitlyn Miller Keys.
Things are about to get real. You've seen the headlines,
you watched the series, but have you ever heard the
play by play when Dirty John's real life victims stared
death in the eye, the terrifying tale from survivor Terrnewell
like you've never heard it before, and how the Walking
(00:22):
Dead TV show saved her from certain death. Caitlyn Miller
Key's investigates on True Crime Reality. Hello everyone, and welcome
to the True Crime Reality podcast. I have a very,
very exciting guest on today. If you have seen the
show or heard the podcast Dirty John, I have the
one and only Tara Newell, and I am so excited
(00:46):
to talk to her because, I mean, you've flipped quite
a life. This is such a crazy story, and um,
a little bit about yourself to start. Yes, So my
name is Tera. I am revivor from my mom's psychopath
ex husband. Basically, while he was technically her husband when
(01:08):
he died, but he it was a psychopath, a con artist,
and my mom met him thinking that this is going
to be the love of her life, and so he
ended up not being the love of her life and
just wanting to cause turmoil in our lives and a
lot of other people's lives. And so he ended up
(01:30):
coming after me after my mom left him for the
second time and ended up stabbing me, and I was
able to defend myself and kill him in self defense.
That is just so incredible. I was thinking about that today.
I was like, I don't know how many people I,
myself included, would be able to come out of that
(01:50):
situation alive and be able to you know, turn it around.
He was coming after you and trying to kill you,
So that is truly so impressive. Would just say that
the show was pretty accurate, like they did a good
job representing everything that happened. So it's kind of crazy
because when you do a scripted series, you also can't
(02:12):
have a lot of information true in that series, and
so because you want to be careful of other people
that are living their lives and whatnot that may not
have shared their stories and whatnot, because when you share
your story on a podcast, it becomes public record, and
(02:33):
so if that person didn't share on the podcast, they
can't use that information, for say, unless that person signed
onto it, or they kind of have to change some
things where like my egg and I can tell you
this now. They changed the part where he hit me
with a car. Whatever. They're like, oh, he is doing well,
(02:56):
he's sober and he has a wife and a kids
and whatnot. He was not sober. He didn't recover well.
He actually did quote unquote get sober at one point,
but then he overdosed, so like his life ended and
so like that was a factor that was different. And
then my mom didn't help my stepdad get better when
(03:20):
he was and my mom didn't even know he was
like doing all these drugs and stuff. My mom is
so kind of aloof to that stuff, and so she
didn't help him get sober. And she also there was
like just some things that they had a tweak and
make different. I like, for me to tell you what's different,
(03:40):
I literally had to like sit you through it and
like tell you like, oh that part, oh, that part okay.
So can you kind of take us back in time
to what your family life was like before all of
this that happened. Yeah, So before my mom met John,
my family was very a close knit family, very Christian,
(04:01):
and just very social with each other. We always got
together every Sunday. It was just a very I love
my family and I thought that we were doing pretty
well together. And so when John came into our lives,
my mom met him and then he started causing problems
with my family, which wasn't something that typically happened with us.
(04:27):
And was this the first guy that she had dated
or you had met previous like men that came into
her life. So my mom has been married, we'll just say,
a couple other times, and all these other guys that
she's been with before, I would say, weren't the best guys,
(04:47):
like some toxic relationship cycle where they pretended to be
this wonderful guy and then like when they got married,
it was like, oh, here's this flaw, here's this flaw,
and oh wait, this is a toxic cycle again. But
so with those men and then John, there was like
obviously something that was pretty different immediately. Oh yeah, Like
(05:09):
John was a psychopath. None of the other guys have
ever been a psychopath. They've been maybe a narcissist or
a worst case like a like a sociopath, but they
never threatened to kill us or did anything like that. Um,
John was a con artist. He like took advantage of
(05:34):
so many other women, and I remember there was this
one case the lady from Brazil that was a bookwriter.
He tried to get like thirty two million dollars from
her and she almost sent it to him, but one
of her friends was like, wait, you shouldn't do that.
So your mom Deborah meets guy online. She falls head
(05:54):
over heels for him. And then how soon into the
relationship did you get introduced to John? I met him
to my into the relationship, and I was actually living
in Vegas, so I came into Newport and stayed with
them for that time, and that's when I met John.
And I was staying in the house with him, and
your your first impressions, you immediately thought he was a
(06:16):
psychopath or you just felt like something was off. I
didn't think he was a psychopath. Out thirst, I saw
my sister kind of be like, this guy is crazy.
I don't like him. But then I wanted to go
in with my own perspective of things. So I sat
down and I was like, Okay, this guy seems like
he's a doctor and that he knows a lot of
(06:37):
stuff about that. I also had a medical problem that
ended up being um a stomach ulcer, but he was
telling me that it might be an obarian cyst, and
so I was very convinced. I was like, Okay, I
have it. Oberian sist. He told me this, I'm going
to go back and go to the doctor when I
get back home and whatnot. And so I'm at him
(07:00):
just thinking that he was smart. But then I did
have an interaction with him when we got back to
my mom's place where I told him that there was
the child lock on the car and he didn't hear
me quote unquote, and then I told him one more
time and he literally got out and then went upstairs
and I was still stuck in the car with like
(07:23):
my friends in the back. But yeah, that's crazy. Oh
my gosh. These are like the little details that were
in the show or the podcast, which I think are
so interesting. Yeah, it was little things he would do
that would kind of like show like, oh, I don't
really like her. And then when it got to the
(07:43):
place where I went back to Vegas and then I
came back the next week after for Thanksgiving, that was
when I started having more questions about him. Where I
went and saw my hairdresser and so she was telling
es Di on it and we were like, oh my gosh.
So I went back to my mom and he was
(08:07):
in the hospital because he was getting his ficks. But
my mom didn't know this. My mom just thought like, Oh,
he's in a lot of pain. His arm hurts. I
had issues with her him driving her cars everywhere when
he was supposed to be like this antithesiologist, this doctor.
And I was just like, why is why is he
(08:30):
driving your cars? What's going on with him? Like he
doesn't seem like he has his quote unquote like stuff together. Um,
So I was just like, Mom, what's going on? And
then he came up behind her and started arguing with me,
and then there was a bunch of f hughes being
(08:52):
thrown out each other. And then basically he was telling
me that I only wanted my mom for myself and
I didn't want to see her happy. And I basically
told him, I was like, no, John, that's what you want.
And so did you feel like he mostly had it
out for you or all of your all of your sisters?
(09:13):
He actually mostly had it out for my sister Jacqueline,
who is like Veronica in the series. They would get
into like the worst text messages. They would threat each other.
At one point but really his threats were the ones
that were legit, and but that's why I also it
(09:36):
was kind of hard because to get a restraining order
was because my sister would be like, oh, like screw you,
you know, and fight back with him, rather than like
living in this cycle of fear. Like when you want
to get a restraining order on someone, you have to
not reply. You have to tell them I'm in fear
(09:57):
for my life for you from you and in contact
there because otherwise it makes things a lot more difficult
to get restraining orders and whatnot. My sister didn't want
her name attached to the series. My sister is a
little bit more of a private person and so you know,
(10:17):
and you have to respect that because it was her
trauma too. I, you know, unfortunately got stabbed and had
to fight for my life. But she was being threatened,
she was being stocked by him, and she was living
with this fear from him. So to her, it was
(10:38):
so much more than just a TV show. Yeh. So
I want to get into like the actual attack, So
he can you kind of walk me through that. I
(10:59):
know they're as a Dell Taco bag involved and you
didn't realize he was stabbing. You can you kind of
like put us into that situation. Yeah, So I came
back home from work. I was going to the Jason
Aldane concert and so that's why I was able to
get off early. And that actually threw him off, which
was good in my advantage. So I got home. I
(11:22):
parked in the same spot every day that day the
gate was broken, and I complained about the gate like
a couple of days prior to my apartment complex. So
that's how he was able to get in. He was
parked in a spot and he was backed up into
the spot and I saw this guy fiddling with a
tire iron and my dog was barking at him. And
(11:45):
I literally looked at my dog and I told my dog,
knock it off. When I got out of the car,
he grabbed me by the waist and then he looked
me in the eyes and said, do you remember me?
I think. I just started screaming, and then I tried
to run away because in attack, like the first thing
you do is try to run away from that person
(12:08):
because you might not be able to fight and kill
your attacker. Um, so I tried to run away from him.
I was unable to detach from him, and then I
started to get punched and what I thought was getting punched,
and I put my purse up to protect my heart,
(12:30):
and so I was actually getting stabbed at this point,
but he didn't know that. I just thought I was
getting punched, and you know, the knife was in adult
taco bag, and so I ended up just screaming. He
kept trying to cover my mouth. I bit him as
(12:50):
hard as I could um and then somehow I ended
up on my back and my dog was also attacking
his angles at the same time. I ended up on
my back, and this actually gave me the best benefit
my case, because I was able to use my legs
to pedal kick him, and as the knife would come down,
(13:13):
I would kick his forearms and that stopped the knife
from actually making contact with me. And then I was
able to kick the knife out of his hand and
then it landed on my right hand side and the
ice picked position, which is the perfect position to pick
up a knife, and then I just started wailing on
(13:34):
him without giving it a second thought. I just like
when the knife dropped, I knew, like I kind of
had like a voice that kind of told me, like
pick it up, and like don't stop, and so I
picked it up and I just started stabbing him. But
I thought I was stabbing him in his chest in
(13:55):
the front, but I was actually stabbing him in his
should dirt in the back. And it's crazy because I
still don't like connect the dots with that. I still
can't see that because the brain compartmentalizes the trauma where
you're only able to see what you your body will
allow you. So I stabbed him and then he started following,
(14:20):
falling on me, and I grabbed his head to hold
it so he wouldn't bite me because I watched a
lot of walking dead. And then I gave the last
two to the head in the forehead, and then the
last one was to the eye, which is the softest
point of entry to the brain, which was the one
(14:42):
that made him brain dead. Oh my gosh. Yes. And
then I took the knife. I threw it. I tossed
it so he couldn't get it, and then I scowed
it away from his body. And then I started to
assess the situation. I saw that I had a one
stab room in my forearm, and so I started with
(15:03):
applying pressure to that um. And then I saw my
dog running around and he was starting to eat the
Dell taco and I was afraid that there was gonna
be poison or something in that, and so I yelled
at him to stop. And then that's when this lady
came up and she had a yellow lab and she
(15:25):
just asked me. She's like, what can I do to
help you? And I told her just grabbed my dog
because I just don't want him to be hurt and
eating Dell talca that might be poison. Um, And then
she grabbed my dog. And then that's when this guy
with dreads came up on a bike and stuff. He
gave me a sweater to wrap around my arm, and
(15:47):
I believe the sweater was red or black so that
I couldn't see the blood and I was thankful for that,
and then I just applied pressure with that. And then
this girl, Skyler came up and she was the fourteen
year old lifeguard girl and um, she just started telling me,
I'm trained in this type of situation. What is your name,
(16:10):
m how old are you? When's your birthday? Are you hurt? Um?
And just asked me questions to kind of assess the situation,
but also asked me like, what's my name, what's my birthday?
And asked me those questions to calm me down, which
was very helpful in that situation. And when you're like trained,
you're supposed to ask those people those questions at first
(16:33):
to get them like off of their trauma. For say,
I was very hyper vigilant. I was hysterical. I was crying.
Like when I looked back, I feel like I was together,
but I was a mess and I had blood all
over me and I didn't know this, and I just
thought like, oh, I'm just gonna be okay and go
(16:55):
to the Jason Aldane concert, because like you're also in shock.
And so she started assessing the situation. And then the
other guy went to resuscipate John. And when that happened,
I started freaking out and I kept well. I kept
(17:15):
telling everyone I was said, my stepdad tried to kill me.
This is self defense, so that people would know and
not think anything different. And I kept saying he tried
to kill me so that people would get one. And
then I watched so many shows and whatnot that I
didn't want to say anything wrong. And then I freaked
(17:41):
out when he went to go give John's CPR. And
then I went down the hill and I asked guy
later grabbed my phone, and then she grabbed my phone,
and then I called my mom and I said, I'm
so sorry. I knew this was going to happen. And
then my mom was like what what in saying that?
(18:06):
And then she came to me, but I wasn't able
to see her. And then I called my ex boyfriend
because like we just broke up, like probably like a
year ago and we were still in like a limbo
phase and whatnot. And I called him and I like
(18:26):
he didn't answer. Um. He was working bar rescue at
that time, and so I sent him a text message
saying I can't believe you blocked me. God like where
your mind goes, right, But it got delivered, so he
didn't block me, and then he called me and then
(18:52):
was just like what what's going on? I explained to
him what was going on, and then I hung up
the phone with him, and then I tried to call
my friend that was going to the concert with me,
because I was like, oh, she might need to know
about this too, right, And then that's when the cops
were like, no, you can't call anyone, and I'm like,
(19:14):
what I need to call people. I need to tell
them happened, and they're like, no, you can't do that,
and then they took my phone from me, which because
that really affects the case and it really affects the
evidence of the case and whatnot. So I understand from
a legal standpoint, but in that moment, I was like, no,
I want to call everyone. Right, you sound like the
(19:36):
most like level headed person after a trauma, Like you
were just like you were very strategic in a way.
You know, like I don't feel like I would be
that way. So it's honestly, you're like the most impressive
person ever, Like everything that you've been through this is
you're like blowing my mind. Honestly, I have like a
million questions for you, and I just think so many
women can look up to you. You're amazing for showing
(19:58):
women like you can't stand and you can't win and
you can come out of it alive. You know, it's
kind of crazy because men are built differently and they
actually do have more strength. But hey, if you're fighting
someone and they don't know what to do and you're
trained to do fight back, then you can kick, but
you can definitely, you know, defend yourself and like, look
(20:22):
at me. I came out with to t stab wounds
and none of them were fatal to me, and so
you know, I'm just so lucky to even be in
that situation where there was two stab wounds and they
weren't fatal and that while I did have like a
third one, but it was like a slice on my
(20:43):
face and it was like a cat scratch. So I
was like that went away within like a couple of days.
It was so weird, and it just showed me how
lucky I was because it graced me, and that could
have gotten me, but it was because you know, I
learned from The Walking Dead how to fight back. And
(21:05):
you know, I did watch a lot of other shows,
like I was a huge C. S. I person. I
watched Law and Order SPU, and I really remember every
time when a survivor would survive in those episodes was
when they thought back and they didn't give up. And
then I watched Dexter and there was one part where
(21:30):
Hannah Mackay she killed someone and she had like a
she had to get stitches in her hand, and so
for that I remember, I have to hold the knife
really tight so that I don't hurt myself when I'm
hurting him, and I didn't hurt myself. And so it's
(21:53):
like all these things from true crime, well scripted true
crime shows, you know, they really helped me in the end,
and well, like the Walking deads the dramatic like zombie
apocalyse show. But like I did watch like a lot
of like scripted true crime series. And had you taken
(22:14):
any self defense classes or was that you like solely
learned everything from the shows. So I took like one
thing in middle school, but I did not use any
of those moves whatsoever. It was like kicked the guy
in the balls, kicked the person, or poke person in
the eyes. I'm like, I didn't do any of that
except for him stab him in the eye, which is like,
(22:36):
I mean, the fact that the television show resonated more
than like you actually acting it out with a professional
is amazing. Yes. Well, and then I really do like
the show for this is that they really gave me
my voice for that scene. That was when I literally
sat down with a stunt coordinator. I sat down with director,
(23:00):
one of the producers of it, and they really listened
to me to have my voice shown in that part
and that was so important to me. And you know,
it's kind of crazy because like when you're a true
crime survivor, you really don't get to, um like make
(23:21):
money off of your story and whatnot. And I didn't
make like a lump sum off of the TV series
in the documentary and whatnot. And I'm so thankful for that,
but it sucks that like everyone kind of takes your
narrative and just like says it for you. Did you
have any residual trauma when you were doing that with
the stunt coordinators like reenacting it essentially? So I they
(23:47):
were very just nice towards me because I well, I
was on the phone with the stunt coordinator a couple
of times and like sitting down talking to him on
the phone. Sorry, I didn't like sit down, but I
sat down with the director and a producer and one
of the producers in person, and it was funny. We
were at this place and I think it is Burbank
(24:10):
and it's like the Sandwich Shop and I literally was
getting on the ground show them like the movements I
was in. But they were like Tara, like you don't
need to do this, like but I was like I
want to do this so that that scene is shown correctly,
because for me, it's so important to have that scene
(24:31):
shown correctly. And from my view, I wish, you know,
I would want honestly another series because that was more
so my mom and John's story. My journey is so
different compared to my mom's journey. How did you recover
from everything? So I want to say that everybody's healing
(24:51):
journey is a different journey and it's not linear. You know,
what work works for me might not work for everyone else.
But I well, I do coaching also, so like if
you want to come to me and you want to
know more about that healing journey, I do coaching and
I will help you with what I know. I also
(25:14):
know a lot of other things that may not have
benefited me but will benefit someone else. Um. So I
go through that, but what has really helped me? And
it was a process because first I was in the
initial shock of things, and then I wanted everybody to
think I was okay because everybody kind of looked at
(25:35):
me like I was this tainted person and like I
was like so different from everyone else. And I even
had people that didn't believe me. Um. I had people
that said I was crazy and didn't respect me as
(25:56):
a human being or even want to understand the things
that I just went through, because you know, you see
it in a TV show and it's hard to believe
in real life, but the stuff does happen in real life,
and unfortunately, it happens every day to women and within
(26:16):
like the first two weeks of losing leaving your abuser
is when you're at risk to being killed. So I'm
very fortunate to be here. But it was like all
these people looked at me like I was tainted, I
was toxic. I was just crazy. And then I went
into party mode because I was twenty five and that's
(26:40):
what I've been doing with my friends. So I went
and I drank a lot, and I just party did whatever,
um did whatever drug to be honest, and I ended
up getting myself involved into these situations that we were
even more toxic for me to be in, and I
(27:03):
got to a place where my sister and I actually
got into a physical altercation. The cops were called, and
then I needed to leave the state and go to
Texas to be with one of my other sisters because
I wasn't getting better and it was to the point
where I was screaming, I was yelling, I couldn't work,
(27:27):
like anything would trigger me, and I just felt like
out of my mind, just losing it, just having panic attacks,
hyper vigilant, just anxiety, and I would self harm. I Um,
I just couldn't live a normal life. And so I
(27:48):
went to Texas. My sister got me in with this
therapist who is amazing, is an e m DR specialist.
So it's I movement decent to optimization repetition, and it
is equivalent to ten talk therapy sessions. It's just amazing
(28:09):
and it really helped me deal with my trauma. And
I was hiking, I was rock climbing, I was just
adventuring with my dog every day and just healing. And
I got to a place where I felt like I
was completely healed. So I came back to California and
I started having bad dreams about John, and so I
(28:33):
had to go back into therapy and I had to
going back into E m d R therapy because I
didn't work on all my triggers. So that was the process.
And then during this time, it's like the Dirty John
series is out. I'm just I don't know if you
(28:57):
felt this way but when you're not used to being
in the media and then you have like the media
very involved with you, you get to the place where
you feel like everyone's watching you. And I'm just like
it brought me back to the place of feeling like
I was being stopped. M Oh, that's so interesting. Yeah,
(29:21):
And so I just like the Dirty John series was
very retriggering because of that it like brought and then
it brought up like a lot of stuff where I
was like, Wow, I didn't deal with this. I didn't
deal with this, or I saw this in like a
new light or something. And even though you know, there
was things that they needed a change for legality, a
(29:43):
lot of it did happen. And when I saw Eric
Bannah played Dirty John, he scared me so badly and
so I actually had to go. And Eric Bannah didn't
want to meet me until after or filming because he
had to play this horrible person that tries to kill me,
(30:05):
so he didn't want to meet me because that would
affect how he plays his character. And he I actually
met him on the last day of filming and that
helps so much. And he came up to me because
I've been background so I've been taught like you don't
go up to actors, You don't go up to anyone,
(30:26):
and you you just like stay in your space and
you do you. And so I was just like getting
my hair and makeup done in the trailer, which doesn't
happen for background people, um, but they just did it
for me. And then he came in and I was
just quiet and I was just minding my own business
and then he's like, oh, are you Tara, and then
(30:49):
he introduces himself to me, and then it's so kind.
But I had to meet him and differentiate the two.
That is so interesting because I don't know why. I
pictured you like watching the show and like being totally
I don't know why, because you come off so strong.
(31:09):
I pictured you being like totally healed and just like
almost therapeutic to watch the show, but it has to
be like retriggering. And I hadn't even thought about that, Yeah, no,
I am. Something I did actually is I would watch
the show with my therapist and we would go through
like what was triggering to me and like work through
(31:31):
it and whatnot. That's so smart was that your idea
of your therapist idea, both of ours, I think because
I watched the first episode and then I was like,
I see it affecting me in ways, and so I
think I need your help with this. I think so
many people would resonate with how you got over this
(31:52):
horrific thing that happened to you. You know. M h
Is there anything else that I missed that you want
to address or talk about? Um? Well, I'm starting to
a podcast. Amazing. Yes, it is gonna be a true
(32:16):
crime Survivor Stories, and it's my partner and I um
so he is amazing too. He's another true crime survivor.
He I was. I met him on his podcast. He
was eleven years old, overheard his mom get murdered by
his dad, and then the trial came to case and
(32:39):
he was like the kid that was like, my dad
killed my mom because it became a missing person's case,
and that one detective believed him and then did more
research and whatnot, and then the trial went to case
and he was the key witness that put his dad
in jail. I'm gonna be listening. That's amazing and congratulate lations,
(33:00):
Thank you, and we'll be on the lookout for your
book too. And where can people follow you to continue
to care about your podcast, in your book and everything
like that. So my Instagram is the best place to
reach me. I am Tara t E R R A
and Newell an E W E L L. I am
also on Twitter Tara Underscore Newell. I have a website
(33:22):
Tara Newell Survival dot com. All I have to say
is you're an incredible person and everything you've gone through
is amazing, and the fact that you're using it for
good is I keep saying incredible, but it is incredible.
There's so many women that go through stuff like this.
It may not be to the extremity of my case,
but there's so many people that get into these toxic
(33:45):
relationships and these there's so many more men like this
out there than people realize. Right right, You're doing so
much good. Thank you so much, Thank you, Thank you
so much for listening, and be sure to follow us
on Instagram at True Crime Reality. Until next time,
Welcome to True Crime Reality with host Caitlyn Miller Keys.
Things are about to get real. You've seen the headlines,
you watched the series, but have you ever heard the
play by play when Dirty John's real life victims stared
death in the eye, the terrifying tale from survivor Terrnewell
like you've never heard it before, and how the Walking
(00:22):
Dead TV show saved her from certain death. Caitlyn Miller
Key's investigates on True Crime Reality. Hello everyone, and welcome
to the True Crime Reality podcast. I have a very,
very exciting guest on today. If you have seen the
show or heard the podcast Dirty John, I have the
one and only Tara Newell, and I am so excited
(00:46):
to talk to her because, I mean, you've flipped quite
a life. This is such a crazy story, and um,
a little bit about yourself to start. Yes, So my
name is Tera. I am revivor from my mom's psychopath
ex husband. Basically, while he was technically her husband when
(01:08):
he died, but he it was a psychopath, a con artist,
and my mom met him thinking that this is going
to be the love of her life, and so he
ended up not being the love of her life and
just wanting to cause turmoil in our lives and a
lot of other people's lives. And so he ended up
(01:30):
coming after me after my mom left him for the
second time and ended up stabbing me, and I was
able to defend myself and kill him in self defense.
That is just so incredible. I was thinking about that today.
I was like, I don't know how many people I,
myself included, would be able to come out of that
(01:50):
situation alive and be able to you know, turn it around.
He was coming after you and trying to kill you,
So that is truly so impressive. Would just say that
the show was pretty accurate, like they did a good
job representing everything that happened. So it's kind of crazy
because when you do a scripted series, you also can't
(02:12):
have a lot of information true in that series, and
so because you want to be careful of other people
that are living their lives and whatnot that may not
have shared their stories and whatnot, because when you share
your story on a podcast, it becomes public record, and
(02:33):
so if that person didn't share on the podcast, they
can't use that information, for say, unless that person signed
onto it, or they kind of have to change some
things where like my egg and I can tell you
this now. They changed the part where he hit me
with a car. Whatever. They're like, oh, he is doing well,
(02:56):
he's sober and he has a wife and a kids
and whatnot. He was not sober. He didn't recover well.
He actually did quote unquote get sober at one point,
but then he overdosed, so like his life ended and
so like that was a factor that was different. And
then my mom didn't help my stepdad get better when
(03:20):
he was and my mom didn't even know he was
like doing all these drugs and stuff. My mom is
so kind of aloof to that stuff, and so she
didn't help him get sober. And she also there was
like just some things that they had a tweak and
make different. I like, for me to tell you what's different,
(03:40):
I literally had to like sit you through it and
like tell you like, oh that part, oh, that part okay.
So can you kind of take us back in time
to what your family life was like before all of
this that happened. Yeah, So before my mom met John,
my family was very a close knit family, very Christian,
(04:01):
and just very social with each other. We always got
together every Sunday. It was just a very I love
my family and I thought that we were doing pretty
well together. And so when John came into our lives,
my mom met him and then he started causing problems
with my family, which wasn't something that typically happened with us.
(04:27):
And was this the first guy that she had dated
or you had met previous like men that came into
her life. So my mom has been married, we'll just say,
a couple other times, and all these other guys that
she's been with before, I would say, weren't the best guys,
(04:47):
like some toxic relationship cycle where they pretended to be
this wonderful guy and then like when they got married,
it was like, oh, here's this flaw, here's this flaw,
and oh wait, this is a toxic cycle again. But
so with those men and then John, there was like
obviously something that was pretty different immediately. Oh yeah, Like
(05:09):
John was a psychopath. None of the other guys have
ever been a psychopath. They've been maybe a narcissist or
a worst case like a like a sociopath, but they
never threatened to kill us or did anything like that. Um,
John was a con artist. He like took advantage of
(05:34):
so many other women, and I remember there was this
one case the lady from Brazil that was a bookwriter.
He tried to get like thirty two million dollars from
her and she almost sent it to him, but one
of her friends was like, wait, you shouldn't do that.
So your mom Deborah meets guy online. She falls head
(05:54):
over heels for him. And then how soon into the
relationship did you get introduced to John? I met him
to my into the relationship, and I was actually living
in Vegas, so I came into Newport and stayed with
them for that time, and that's when I met John.
And I was staying in the house with him, and
your your first impressions, you immediately thought he was a
(06:16):
psychopath or you just felt like something was off. I
didn't think he was a psychopath. Out thirst, I saw
my sister kind of be like, this guy is crazy.
I don't like him. But then I wanted to go
in with my own perspective of things. So I sat
down and I was like, Okay, this guy seems like
he's a doctor and that he knows a lot of
(06:37):
stuff about that. I also had a medical problem that
ended up being um a stomach ulcer, but he was
telling me that it might be an obarian cyst, and
so I was very convinced. I was like, Okay, I
have it. Oberian sist. He told me this, I'm going
to go back and go to the doctor when I
get back home and whatnot. And so I'm at him
(07:00):
just thinking that he was smart. But then I did
have an interaction with him when we got back to
my mom's place where I told him that there was
the child lock on the car and he didn't hear
me quote unquote, and then I told him one more
time and he literally got out and then went upstairs
and I was still stuck in the car with like
(07:23):
my friends in the back. But yeah, that's crazy. Oh
my gosh. These are like the little details that were
in the show or the podcast, which I think are
so interesting. Yeah, it was little things he would do
that would kind of like show like, oh, I don't
really like her. And then when it got to the
(07:43):
place where I went back to Vegas and then I
came back the next week after for Thanksgiving, that was
when I started having more questions about him. Where I
went and saw my hairdresser and so she was telling
es Di on it and we were like, oh my gosh.
So I went back to my mom and he was
(08:07):
in the hospital because he was getting his ficks. But
my mom didn't know this. My mom just thought like, Oh,
he's in a lot of pain. His arm hurts. I
had issues with her him driving her cars everywhere when
he was supposed to be like this antithesiologist, this doctor.
And I was just like, why is why is he
(08:30):
driving your cars? What's going on with him? Like he
doesn't seem like he has his quote unquote like stuff together. Um,
So I was just like, Mom, what's going on? And
then he came up behind her and started arguing with me,
and then there was a bunch of f hughes being
(08:52):
thrown out each other. And then basically he was telling
me that I only wanted my mom for myself and
I didn't want to see her happy. And I basically
told him, I was like, no, John, that's what you want.
And so did you feel like he mostly had it
out for you or all of your all of your sisters?
(09:13):
He actually mostly had it out for my sister Jacqueline,
who is like Veronica in the series. They would get
into like the worst text messages. They would threat each other.
At one point but really his threats were the ones
that were legit, and but that's why I also it
(09:36):
was kind of hard because to get a restraining order
was because my sister would be like, oh, like screw you,
you know, and fight back with him, rather than like
living in this cycle of fear. Like when you want
to get a restraining order on someone, you have to
not reply. You have to tell them I'm in fear
(09:57):
for my life for you from you and in contact
there because otherwise it makes things a lot more difficult
to get restraining orders and whatnot. My sister didn't want
her name attached to the series. My sister is a
little bit more of a private person and so you know,
(10:17):
and you have to respect that because it was her
trauma too. I, you know, unfortunately got stabbed and had
to fight for my life. But she was being threatened,
she was being stocked by him, and she was living
with this fear from him. So to her, it was
(10:38):
so much more than just a TV show. Yeh. So
I want to get into like the actual attack, So
he can you kind of walk me through that. I
(10:59):
know they're as a Dell Taco bag involved and you
didn't realize he was stabbing. You can you kind of
like put us into that situation. Yeah, So I came
back home from work. I was going to the Jason
Aldane concert and so that's why I was able to
get off early. And that actually threw him off, which
was good in my advantage. So I got home. I
(11:22):
parked in the same spot every day that day the
gate was broken, and I complained about the gate like
a couple of days prior to my apartment complex. So
that's how he was able to get in. He was
parked in a spot and he was backed up into
the spot and I saw this guy fiddling with a
tire iron and my dog was barking at him. And
(11:45):
I literally looked at my dog and I told my dog,
knock it off. When I got out of the car,
he grabbed me by the waist and then he looked
me in the eyes and said, do you remember me?
I think. I just started screaming, and then I tried
to run away because in attack, like the first thing
you do is try to run away from that person
(12:08):
because you might not be able to fight and kill
your attacker. Um, so I tried to run away from him.
I was unable to detach from him, and then I
started to get punched and what I thought was getting punched,
and I put my purse up to protect my heart,
(12:30):
and so I was actually getting stabbed at this point,
but he didn't know that. I just thought I was
getting punched, and you know, the knife was in adult
taco bag, and so I ended up just screaming. He
kept trying to cover my mouth. I bit him as
(12:50):
hard as I could um and then somehow I ended
up on my back and my dog was also attacking
his angles at the same time. I ended up on
my back, and this actually gave me the best benefit
my case, because I was able to use my legs
to pedal kick him, and as the knife would come down,
(13:13):
I would kick his forearms and that stopped the knife
from actually making contact with me. And then I was
able to kick the knife out of his hand and
then it landed on my right hand side and the
ice picked position, which is the perfect position to pick
up a knife, and then I just started wailing on
(13:34):
him without giving it a second thought. I just like
when the knife dropped, I knew, like I kind of
had like a voice that kind of told me, like
pick it up, and like don't stop, and so I
picked it up and I just started stabbing him. But
I thought I was stabbing him in his chest in
(13:55):
the front, but I was actually stabbing him in his
should dirt in the back. And it's crazy because I
still don't like connect the dots with that. I still
can't see that because the brain compartmentalizes the trauma where
you're only able to see what you your body will
allow you. So I stabbed him and then he started following,
(14:20):
falling on me, and I grabbed his head to hold
it so he wouldn't bite me because I watched a
lot of walking dead. And then I gave the last
two to the head in the forehead, and then the
last one was to the eye, which is the softest
point of entry to the brain, which was the one
(14:42):
that made him brain dead. Oh my gosh. Yes. And
then I took the knife. I threw it. I tossed
it so he couldn't get it, and then I scowed
it away from his body. And then I started to
assess the situation. I saw that I had a one
stab room in my forearm, and so I started with
(15:03):
applying pressure to that um. And then I saw my
dog running around and he was starting to eat the
Dell taco and I was afraid that there was gonna
be poison or something in that, and so I yelled
at him to stop. And then that's when this lady
came up and she had a yellow lab and she
(15:25):
just asked me. She's like, what can I do to
help you? And I told her just grabbed my dog
because I just don't want him to be hurt and
eating Dell talca that might be poison. Um, And then
she grabbed my dog. And then that's when this guy
with dreads came up on a bike and stuff. He
gave me a sweater to wrap around my arm, and
(15:47):
I believe the sweater was red or black so that
I couldn't see the blood and I was thankful for that,
and then I just applied pressure with that. And then
this girl, Skyler came up and she was the fourteen
year old lifeguard girl and um, she just started telling me,
I'm trained in this type of situation. What is your name,
(16:10):
m how old are you? When's your birthday? Are you hurt? Um?
And just asked me questions to kind of assess the situation,
but also asked me like, what's my name, what's my birthday?
And asked me those questions to calm me down, which
was very helpful in that situation. And when you're like trained,
you're supposed to ask those people those questions at first
(16:33):
to get them like off of their trauma. For say,
I was very hyper vigilant. I was hysterical. I was crying.
Like when I looked back, I feel like I was together,
but I was a mess and I had blood all
over me and I didn't know this, and I just
thought like, oh, I'm just gonna be okay and go
(16:55):
to the Jason Aldane concert, because like you're also in shock.
And so she started assessing the situation. And then the
other guy went to resuscipate John. And when that happened,
I started freaking out and I kept well. I kept
(17:15):
telling everyone I was said, my stepdad tried to kill me.
This is self defense, so that people would know and
not think anything different. And I kept saying he tried
to kill me so that people would get one. And
then I watched so many shows and whatnot that I
didn't want to say anything wrong. And then I freaked
(17:41):
out when he went to go give John's CPR. And
then I went down the hill and I asked guy
later grabbed my phone, and then she grabbed my phone,
and then I called my mom and I said, I'm
so sorry. I knew this was going to happen. And
then my mom was like what what in saying that?
(18:06):
And then she came to me, but I wasn't able
to see her. And then I called my ex boyfriend
because like we just broke up, like probably like a
year ago and we were still in like a limbo
phase and whatnot. And I called him and I like
(18:26):
he didn't answer. Um. He was working bar rescue at
that time, and so I sent him a text message
saying I can't believe you blocked me. God like where
your mind goes, right, But it got delivered, so he
didn't block me, and then he called me and then
(18:52):
was just like what what's going on? I explained to
him what was going on, and then I hung up
the phone with him, and then I tried to call
my friend that was going to the concert with me,
because I was like, oh, she might need to know
about this too, right, And then that's when the cops
were like, no, you can't call anyone, and I'm like,
(19:14):
what I need to call people. I need to tell
them happened, and they're like, no, you can't do that,
and then they took my phone from me, which because
that really affects the case and it really affects the
evidence of the case and whatnot. So I understand from
a legal standpoint, but in that moment, I was like, no,
I want to call everyone. Right, you sound like the
(19:36):
most like level headed person after a trauma, Like you
were just like you were very strategic in a way.
You know, like I don't feel like I would be
that way. So it's honestly, you're like the most impressive
person ever, Like everything that you've been through this is
you're like blowing my mind. Honestly, I have like a
million questions for you, and I just think so many
women can look up to you. You're amazing for showing
(19:58):
women like you can't stand and you can't win and
you can come out of it alive. You know, it's
kind of crazy because men are built differently and they
actually do have more strength. But hey, if you're fighting
someone and they don't know what to do and you're
trained to do fight back, then you can kick, but
you can definitely, you know, defend yourself and like, look
(20:22):
at me. I came out with to t stab wounds
and none of them were fatal to me, and so
you know, I'm just so lucky to even be in
that situation where there was two stab wounds and they
weren't fatal and that while I did have like a
third one, but it was like a slice on my
(20:43):
face and it was like a cat scratch. So I
was like that went away within like a couple of days.
It was so weird, and it just showed me how
lucky I was because it graced me, and that could
have gotten me, but it was because you know, I
learned from The Walking Dead how to fight back. And
(21:05):
you know, I did watch a lot of other shows,
like I was a huge C. S. I person. I
watched Law and Order SPU, and I really remember every
time when a survivor would survive in those episodes was
when they thought back and they didn't give up. And
then I watched Dexter and there was one part where
(21:30):
Hannah Mackay she killed someone and she had like a
she had to get stitches in her hand, and so
for that I remember, I have to hold the knife
really tight so that I don't hurt myself when I'm
hurting him, and I didn't hurt myself. And so it's
(21:53):
like all these things from true crime, well scripted true
crime shows, you know, they really helped me in the end,
and well, like the Walking deads the dramatic like zombie
apocalyse show. But like I did watch like a lot
of like scripted true crime series. And had you taken
(22:14):
any self defense classes or was that you like solely
learned everything from the shows. So I took like one
thing in middle school, but I did not use any
of those moves whatsoever. It was like kicked the guy
in the balls, kicked the person, or poke person in
the eyes. I'm like, I didn't do any of that
except for him stab him in the eye, which is like,
(22:36):
I mean, the fact that the television show resonated more
than like you actually acting it out with a professional
is amazing. Yes. Well, and then I really do like
the show for this is that they really gave me
my voice for that scene. That was when I literally
sat down with a stunt coordinator. I sat down with director,
(23:00):
one of the producers of it, and they really listened
to me to have my voice shown in that part
and that was so important to me. And you know,
it's kind of crazy because like when you're a true
crime survivor, you really don't get to, um like make
(23:21):
money off of your story and whatnot. And I didn't
make like a lump sum off of the TV series
in the documentary and whatnot. And I'm so thankful for that,
but it sucks that like everyone kind of takes your
narrative and just like says it for you. Did you
have any residual trauma when you were doing that with
the stunt coordinators like reenacting it essentially? So I they
(23:47):
were very just nice towards me because I well, I
was on the phone with the stunt coordinator a couple
of times and like sitting down talking to him on
the phone. Sorry, I didn't like sit down, but I
sat down with the director and a producer and one
of the producers in person, and it was funny. We
were at this place and I think it is Burbank
(24:10):
and it's like the Sandwich Shop and I literally was
getting on the ground show them like the movements I
was in. But they were like Tara, like you don't
need to do this, like but I was like I
want to do this so that that scene is shown correctly,
because for me, it's so important to have that scene
(24:31):
shown correctly. And from my view, I wish, you know,
I would want honestly another series because that was more
so my mom and John's story. My journey is so
different compared to my mom's journey. How did you recover
from everything? So I want to say that everybody's healing
(24:51):
journey is a different journey and it's not linear. You know,
what work works for me might not work for everyone else.
But I well, I do coaching also, so like if
you want to come to me and you want to
know more about that healing journey, I do coaching and
I will help you with what I know. I also
(25:14):
know a lot of other things that may not have
benefited me but will benefit someone else. Um. So I
go through that, but what has really helped me? And
it was a process because first I was in the
initial shock of things, and then I wanted everybody to
think I was okay because everybody kind of looked at
(25:35):
me like I was this tainted person and like I
was like so different from everyone else. And I even
had people that didn't believe me. Um. I had people
that said I was crazy and didn't respect me as
(25:56):
a human being or even want to understand the things
that I just went through, because you know, you see
it in a TV show and it's hard to believe
in real life, but the stuff does happen in real life,
and unfortunately, it happens every day to women and within
(26:16):
like the first two weeks of losing leaving your abuser
is when you're at risk to being killed. So I'm
very fortunate to be here. But it was like all
these people looked at me like I was tainted, I
was toxic. I was just crazy. And then I went
into party mode because I was twenty five and that's
(26:40):
what I've been doing with my friends. So I went
and I drank a lot, and I just party did whatever,
um did whatever drug to be honest, and I ended
up getting myself involved into these situations that we were
even more toxic for me to be in, and I
(27:03):
got to a place where my sister and I actually
got into a physical altercation. The cops were called, and
then I needed to leave the state and go to
Texas to be with one of my other sisters because
I wasn't getting better and it was to the point
where I was screaming, I was yelling, I couldn't work,
(27:27):
like anything would trigger me, and I just felt like
out of my mind, just losing it, just having panic attacks,
hyper vigilant, just anxiety, and I would self harm. I Um,
I just couldn't live a normal life. And so I
(27:48):
went to Texas. My sister got me in with this
therapist who is amazing, is an e m DR specialist.
So it's I movement decent to optimization repetition, and it
is equivalent to ten talk therapy sessions. It's just amazing
(28:09):
and it really helped me deal with my trauma. And
I was hiking, I was rock climbing, I was just
adventuring with my dog every day and just healing. And
I got to a place where I felt like I
was completely healed. So I came back to California and
I started having bad dreams about John, and so I
(28:33):
had to go back into therapy and I had to
going back into E m d R therapy because I
didn't work on all my triggers. So that was the process.
And then during this time, it's like the Dirty John
series is out. I'm just I don't know if you
(28:57):
felt this way but when you're not used to being
in the media and then you have like the media
very involved with you, you get to the place where
you feel like everyone's watching you. And I'm just like
it brought me back to the place of feeling like
I was being stopped. M Oh, that's so interesting. Yeah,
(29:21):
And so I just like the Dirty John series was
very retriggering because of that it like brought and then
it brought up like a lot of stuff where I
was like, Wow, I didn't deal with this. I didn't
deal with this, or I saw this in like a
new light or something. And even though you know, there
was things that they needed a change for legality, a
(29:43):
lot of it did happen. And when I saw Eric
Bannah played Dirty John, he scared me so badly and
so I actually had to go. And Eric Bannah didn't
want to meet me until after or filming because he
had to play this horrible person that tries to kill me,
(30:05):
so he didn't want to meet me because that would
affect how he plays his character. And he I actually
met him on the last day of filming and that
helps so much. And he came up to me because
I've been background so I've been taught like you don't
go up to actors, You don't go up to anyone,
(30:26):
and you you just like stay in your space and
you do you. And so I was just like getting
my hair and makeup done in the trailer, which doesn't
happen for background people, um, but they just did it
for me. And then he came in and I was
just quiet and I was just minding my own business
and then he's like, oh, are you Tara, and then
(30:49):
he introduces himself to me, and then it's so kind.
But I had to meet him and differentiate the two.
That is so interesting because I don't know why. I
pictured you like watching the show and like being totally
I don't know why, because you come off so strong.
(31:09):
I pictured you being like totally healed and just like
almost therapeutic to watch the show, but it has to
be like retriggering. And I hadn't even thought about that, Yeah, no,
I am. Something I did actually is I would watch
the show with my therapist and we would go through
like what was triggering to me and like work through
(31:31):
it and whatnot. That's so smart was that your idea
of your therapist idea, both of ours, I think because
I watched the first episode and then I was like,
I see it affecting me in ways, and so I
think I need your help with this. I think so
many people would resonate with how you got over this
(31:52):
horrific thing that happened to you. You know. M h
Is there anything else that I missed that you want
to address or talk about? Um? Well, I'm starting to
a podcast. Amazing. Yes, it is gonna be a true
(32:16):
crime Survivor Stories, and it's my partner and I um
so he is amazing too. He's another true crime survivor.
He I was. I met him on his podcast. He
was eleven years old, overheard his mom get murdered by
his dad, and then the trial came to case and
(32:39):
he was like the kid that was like, my dad
killed my mom because it became a missing person's case,
and that one detective believed him and then did more
research and whatnot, and then the trial went to case
and he was the key witness that put his dad
in jail. I'm gonna be listening. That's amazing and congratulate lations,
(33:00):
Thank you, and we'll be on the lookout for your
book too. And where can people follow you to continue
to care about your podcast, in your book and everything
like that. So my Instagram is the best place to
reach me. I am Tara t E R R A
and Newell an E W E L L. I am
also on Twitter Tara Underscore Newell. I have a website
(33:22):
Tara Newell Survival dot com. All I have to say
is you're an incredible person and everything you've gone through
is amazing, and the fact that you're using it for
good is I keep saying incredible, but it is incredible.
There's so many women that go through stuff like this.
It may not be to the extremity of my case,
but there's so many people that get into these toxic
(33:45):
relationships and these there's so many more men like this
out there than people realize. Right right, You're doing so
much good. Thank you so much, Thank you, Thank you
so much for listening, and be sure to follow us
on Instagram at True Crime Reality. Until next time,
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