July 15, 2021 • 56 mins
Carolina and Devin are joined by friend of the pod (and foe of Carolina) Beth Jacobs Cohon to discuss some celeb romance headlines from Scooter Braun’s blatant cheater vibes to Bennifer’s validity and what it must be like when your ex dates Harry Styles. Then they dive into the subject of online stalking! The ladies tell some listener stories and relate with their own nightmares of accidental liking and finding out something you can’t unsee about your significant other, plus a discussion about the few positives and endless toxic negatives of Instagram scrolling.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hello, and welcome to True Romance. Uh, this is not
Carolina Barlow It's actually Devin Leary and I'm here with
a friend of the pod, friend of myself. I would
say friend to animals, friend to nature, friend to say
that friend, friend to many who who are lucky enough,
and that is Beth Jacob's Cohen. Happy to be here,
(00:38):
Thanks for having me. Welcome Bath. I I'm really excited.
You know. It's like every time I listen back to
the two episodes that you previously co hosted with us,
I just feel like it just brings something that's really
lacking from the other episodes. Um, which is just like
a second funny, lighthearted per sent an addition to me.
(01:01):
And so it means I'm here. By the way, it's
Carolina Marlowe. I'm also a host of The Romans Path.
There's some background noise anyway, We've heard your voices, we've
heard you listeners, and we know what you want a
new co host, and we are happy to announce you
have one, effective today, effective immediately, effective immediately. I just
(01:25):
want the True Roman's listeners to know that I am injured.
I am any cast right now while they pull these Shenamicaly.
They knew it was actually part of the They actually
reached out listen to reached out and said, hey, I
heard about the surgery. Sounds like an opportunity question mark.
And I said, listen, that hand surgery can't be good
(01:46):
on her voice. She can, she can't. She's not at
her best. I kept telling Caroline, and She's like, I'm
actually completely fine to record the episode. I was like,
you're not at your best. You're not. They kept telling
me around like shit, you sound like shit, you need help.
Why are you trying to say that nice time? What
(02:06):
I'm trying to say is you sound like she didn't
even let you out of the hospital sounding like that
after that surgery. We were like, oh, you're not making sense.
They literally did. The nurses were saying like, oh, you
were so funny when you were high. You kept on
asking for your mommy. Thats the regular too. Is she
here though, mommy? She does. Carolina does say mommy having
(02:30):
been at her parents house, including this weekend when I
had a panic attack and called Carolina's mommy to pick
me up. Um, I don't hear Carolina saying mommy, will
you make me a sandwich? Mommy mama. Yeah, oh wait,
she's gonna think I'm Carolina. That's true. Listeners, I am
(02:50):
recording from my home. I heard that the fact that
you're still breastfeeding is helping with the recovery. Um, how
do you experience that? I just you know, once I latched,
I never stopped. That was seven eight years ago. No
(03:11):
solid foods, never had never had a solid food. Oh wait,
I was picturing that, Like you were saying that Carolina
is breastfeeding a baby. So I was like, oh, this
is funny, but like I don't know that, Like, how
about go with this bit. No, it's that I am
a giant baby that she's thirty eight years old and
(03:31):
still bread years old and still she and and my
mom's one of those hippie moms who was like, hey,
it's not on my clock. Okay, I'm along for they
whatever guya guides my baby to do. I follow. Um,
(03:52):
how are you really feeling, Carolina. I'm good, I'm good.
I'm grateful for my actors and nurses, and I am
just getting ready to basically go into another kind of isolation.
There's something where you can't participate in many activities that
(04:15):
you're like all right, see you guys later. I mean,
if anything, the pandemic warmed me up for this. It's
only going to be like a few months. But you
have Devon nearby, Beth, Really, please don't push that because
I'm trying to. I'm not trying to. I keep saying
you can come over whenever coming over there so much.
(04:38):
I literally feel so much warmth and safety in your house,
and I have. I've already cried there three or four
times since I have been in l A. I will say, though,
It's something that's really funny is that as long as
we've known each other, like my family has never really
seen Devon with me, so they don't really understand like
the abusive tactics that when she uses against me time.
(05:00):
So I had a really funny experience last week that
I wanted to talk about, which was that I finally
matched with someone on Riya that I've actually met before,
and I've had a crush on before, like years ago.
Like I first met him when I was twenty two
and was like, Oh, who's that. He's so funny. I
have a really big crush on him. I match with
(05:22):
him on Riah, I'm like, oh my god, oh my god,
oh my god, immediately text Devan Devans like in what
can only be described as the voice of a villain
in some cartoon, like text him, message him right now,
message him right now, like MoU fassa, MoU fassa. I
(05:45):
think he's gone. Okay, I think okay, is the villain
to you? Tell me everything I need to know about Carolina.
But go on, Okay, I don't tell me who you
are without telling me who you are. Moves to live. Okay, Okay, okay,
(06:07):
we understand, got it. Okay, Yes, I store on the capitol.
There we go. So Devin tells me to message him.
I'm like, I'm not going to message him. I don't
like I'm about to go to this hand searcher. I'm
gonna have a cast or I'm gonna go on a
date when I'm wearing a cast. No. And also, if
I message him, he'll remember that he met me. He
won't be into me. Blah blah blah, negative self talk,
(06:28):
as my therapist would say. So then a few days past,
Devon's at my house. We're all hanging out, and suddenly
she looks across the table. My mom's in the room,
and Devin looks across the table and says, have you
messaged UM that guy? And I'm like, oh no, And
she's like, what's what's wrong with you? Why wouldn't you
My mom sort of looks up like what's happening, and
(06:50):
I'm like, I don't know. I just feel like I
don't know who's gonna want to date someone who's wearing
a cash She's like, oh, you think that's reasonable? If
you if someone wouldn date you with the cast, I
would say they are a very ill person. What are
you talking about? No? No, no, what are you talking about?
So you think that's normal? If you liked the guy
and said that I don't want to date him because
(07:12):
he's wearing a cast, do you think that would be normal?
Suddenly started acting like this villain Jesus Christ, you know,
Santa Claus. That was terrifying. I mean, I haven't seen
the book at a while. Is that is that a
crime anyway? So that I just decide it, I'm going
(07:33):
to text you, I know. And I texted him and
we flirted for a little bit um and it was
like a day that I got to flirt with someone.
And it was the first time in like over a
year that I was like, wait, maybe there is a
romantic future with me, not with this person. I mean, yeah,
for a day I was fixated on that, but like
(07:55):
in general, and it got me. I was so grateful
for it, and I really am so glad I texted him,
even though he didn't end up asking me out, which
is just not even something I'm gonna worry about because
I've matched with people who are cute and I've never
messaged them, So I'm just like, this is a part
of the dating process. But at the same time, it
(08:16):
was just such a relief to flirt with someone into
want what that fucking I just call that sex difference.
I get it. I call that does out. Um. But
today on the pod, well, speaking of the internet, we
(08:38):
wanted to talk about stalking and scrolling. But first we
have some headline get into. And the first is something
that I need to cover with specifically Beth here, and
that is Scooter Braun getting separated after he went into
what page six calls a quote psycho spiritual retreat. Beth,
(09:01):
He's just looking for sympathy. Honestly, I can't even begin
it with him because I was even looking at the
description of the Hoff in process, and it was like
when you feel like you've been wronged and your relationships
are torture whatever. I mean, it's all just him trying
to be like everything that Taylor's friends did to me
put me in a dark place, and he deserved every
(09:21):
mean comment he got. Abuse. I I love everyone posting
now that they're getting divorced, you know, quoting Mad Woman
by Taylor Swift, the feat themselves before you get a
chance to swing. I mean, it's like, yeah, I think
(09:41):
he had it coming. What are your thoughts? He definitely
had it coming. I've seen a lot of doom wis
meaning Beth or her sister Jess has texted me a
lot of doomois about possibility of him being a serial cheater,
which obviously I believe. And when I was reading the
article and everything he is quoted as saying in the
(10:02):
article is him like man splaining spiritual recovery. And it's like, wait,
so even in this moment where you're saying that you
had to go into a quote psycho spiritual retreat because
your marriage fell apart, you're taking that opportunity to man
splain and be like listen, when you're not present, you
really just got to look at yourself and save yourself first,
(10:25):
Like fuck you. I always like I do have like
slightly some like very intuitive powers. I believe, And I
just knew from the moment I saw him that he
is someone who sleeps around. Yeah, he's just a cheater.
He's just a cheater. First of all, his name is
like that's someone who cheats. Like if someone if you
(10:45):
were like I I met this guy, he's like a business.
He's a music manager. His name Scooter, I would be like, Okay,
call your mom. That sounds pretty toxic. Call your mom,
Call my mom. Stand is why they're saying, like, but
we're still best friend. I hate that. That's what everyone says,
(11:06):
is it all? I think it's usually just like give
us our privacy kind of thing, like we're both dedicated
to co parenting and did did dab, but not like
our friendship. Literally they said our friendship has never been better,
We've never been better. That's true. I mean, it's true
that this is a thing because remember Armie Hammer and
his wife did that thing or they were like, we're
(11:27):
best friends, and then it came out that he actually
eats people and she doesn't like that. I guess, um, Yeah,
he doesn't eat people. He eats their heart and their rooms. Sorry,
excuse me. I'm easily charmed by people co parenting. I
think it's like a really cool thing when people get
along with their exes. And I think in general people
(11:48):
get self conscious about like breaking up or splitting up,
and so it's a way to maintain control over the narrative,
to make the narrative be that he's like a great guy.
I think, yeah, yes, I mean that's the thing that
I'm interested in is that, like, I think it's very
bad he has. I think he completely fucked up as
(12:09):
a business person, Like now, the fact that you're represented
by Scooter Braun is like gross to most people. I
was at a premier not to brag, and they people
were getting thanked and everyone was clapping, clapping, clapping, and
then Scooter Braun got thanked at one point and it
was like slow clap crickets, like the really makes me
(12:31):
so happy, hush and the whole world throw it on him.
Yet yeah, I think like he's obviously someone who's still
really really powerful. But if you think about it, like
if three people fired him, he would basically have no company. Well,
I wish him nothing but the worst things. Okay, So,
(12:53):
Jason Sadekis, what is this, Carolina? You threw this in?
Jason Sidekis recently spoke to g Q about his divorce
from or not his divorce, his breakup with Olivia Wilde,
and it was actually kind of sad because I felt
like he was someone who was trying to act like
(13:15):
he had it together um, but was still very clearly
not at all together. Like he compared himself to a
Avengers superhero and said that hitting bottom is okay, but
you can either collapse into a bunch of bones or
(13:37):
you can land like an adventure. And he said He's
going to land like an adventure. Was it was this
a job or like a sincere sentiment? No, it was
a sincere and why they broke up. But he'll understand
in a year from now or something. Okay, this is
what I thought was kind of fucked up. He said,
(13:58):
I'll have a better understand and of y in a year,
and an even better one in two and an even
greater one in five, which I think is good advice.
But then he says, and I'll go from being you know,
a book of my life to becoming a chapter to
a paragraph to align to a word to a doodle,
and I was like, I didn't have kids together. They
have two kids. That's gonna be. That's gonna do. Listen,
(14:23):
I have no idea how hard it would be to be. Basically,
if my ex was dating Harry Styles or the equivalent
of like Dualipa, I would be like really hurt. But
that was the other thing is that he talks about
accepting the Golden globe when he's like his eyes are
blood shot and he's in a hoodie and he says
(14:45):
I was neither high nor heartbroken, and I'm like, it's
the whole. It's the same thing when you're trying to
maintain the narrative, Like why don't you just say, like
like anyone else, it was awkward going through a break up.
Uh okay, So next headline. Chloe Kardashian quote laughed after
(15:07):
her ex boyfriend Tristan Thompson took a childish swipe at
her ex husband Lamar od him on Instagram. Childish is
actually not the one. I sent this to Carolina actually
on Instagram. I sent her the comments thing and I
just was like, oh my god, look Lamar lamar and
Chloe like that was like part of my excitement too,
(15:28):
even though he probably is too toxic for her, I know.
And then Caroline is like, wait, what the funk with
the comment? And I didn't even see that. Right below it,
Tristan Thompson threatened to kill like he brought up his
o D like Lamar just wrote like I think he
gave the fire. He said, Hattie to fire emojis too hard,
(15:49):
eye emoji's heart and then to blushing with hearts emojis. Yeah,
so he was just like whatever flarding with her. By
the way, she's been cheated on not once, not twice,
but three plus times. Tristan has humiliated her beyond. And
then Tristan comments lamar at lamar odom God brought you
back the first time, meaning that God brought you to
(16:10):
life after you nearly odeed play if you want different results,
and then you know I'm going to kill you. So yeah,
I don't know, I'm gonna kill you. What went through
it from no, I mean you see the difference and
(16:31):
was like, why do we have to don't have to
go there? But we also see the difference in these
two comments from these men, as featured on the Daily
Mail website, which is our source for many of these headlines.
Real Tristan thirteen two hearts and two drooling emojis, and
his comment gets a thousand, forty nine likes, and then
(16:51):
Lamar's hottie with all the beautiful, stunning herd eye emojis
gets ten thousand, three hundred and one les. Guests are
from I have it. It's all me and Carolina just
over and over again. Um so yeah, I think that,
And then the article is basically saying that like Chloe
said it was childish, but that she laughed at it,
and I was like, Okay, obviously I would be riding
(17:14):
on this high for months if like my two xes
were comparing. Can you imagine? I think it's embarrassing when
Tristan comments like hard eyes on Chloes pictures, like it's
so embarrassed, Like I'm like stop, Like you're just embarrassing
her more. It's just the guy who everyone knows is
(17:34):
cheating on you, trying to look good in the public eye,
like the day after they broke up, and like, I
love you to the best partner ever. It's like you
were exactly Kim said it after the first time he
was caught cheating on Keeping Up. She said that basically
like the family confronted him and that he got really upset,
(17:55):
and she was like, I don't think he's sorry. She's like,
I think he's embarrassed. I don't think he's sorry. And
and I that really stuck with me because I think
it is the truth, like, oh, you want to look good,
you don't actually care about like hurting this woman at all.
Final headline is gonna be a part of our benefit
(18:16):
segment Benefit. I hardly knew her very popular segment, and
it is that Jennifer Lopez likes a buff throwback photo
of boyfriend Ben Affleck shared by a Benefit fan account. Um,
I guess she's just like us. Is really the subheadline.
(18:37):
This picture was hot too. I was going to like
it they someone had posted. Yeah, an account called Lopez
Affleck posted a photo of Ben in a Believe in
Boston T shirt. So you guys don't seem to be
talking about the fact that this relationship is potentially fake
(19:00):
and I want in fact, we don't seem to be
talking about that. No, And I've been listening closely the
past few episodes, being like, are we gonna address the
obvious or are we just gonna not but okay, yeah no,
they're not gonna're gonna talk about it, So I'll come
here to talk about the potential. All right, So what's
what do you have to say? I mean, I just like,
(19:21):
let's not be let's not based o god, I mean,
like I think you're college educated woman. Not really. I want, okay, fair,
I want in my heart of hearts for them to
be real. And I don't think that it is mutually exclusive,
that like they could either be having a real relationship
(19:44):
and be also like totally this just pr or whatever.
But I think it's like you've seen on de Mois,
like people predict when they're going to do like the
pep walks, like oh, big pep walk coming tomorrow, and
then it's like, oh, they were in Disneyland with the kids,
and like, oh are matching out its strolling in the Hamptons,
And like you don't think that she knew that this
(20:04):
was going to get picked up, that like she liked
a picture of him, right, He really think she just
was genuinely like on page Yeah you think that you
think that, don't you know that That's not what I
thought when I pasted this link into the document for
the episode. That's not what I was thinking. No, I
was not thinking that. Ever, I'm freaking out. No I am,
(20:27):
and honestly, oh my god, what is happening. I'm freaking out.
Not what I was thinking. Oh, she starts, they're just
like us. That is actually how you That is how
I said. That isn't that what I said? Oh my god,
I said that, I said. Meanwhile, I'm watching this video
of her and Ben in the matching outfits walking so
(20:49):
fucking slowly just so that they can pose. And these
random who are these random people with them like that
look like they're in wild, wild country, Like I don't
know who they are, but I feel bad for them.
They have to walk this slowly because I would lose
my mind. I also saw like a pep walk of
him in the Hamptons with just her kids. He's like
walking and then like first he like goes to go
(21:11):
in this bookstore and it's closed, and then he walks
away and he like leaves the kids like and the
does He's like literally gets in the car and like wait,
knowing her children were with you, white van comes and
just picks up the kids. She has no idea. I
don't know. I mean I think I mean it's having
the result that she wants because everyone's like, screw you, right,
(21:33):
this is amazing exactly. And she had some quote where
she was like, I'm actually the happiest I've ever been,
which is you know the famous quote after a breakup, right,
which and maybe she doesn't. I hope she is, but like,
so you think that's the motivation is to get a rod?
And then what's Ben's motivation? I mean he has not
writing forever, right, yeah? He she she is giving him
(21:54):
a cloud like he is dirtbag status and she's giving
him like, no, he's actually like if if your ex
gets back together with you, it may seem like, oh,
you've probably improved yourself. So maybe that's his motivation, right,
Like I think for the past few years been like
oh Ben with the tattoo and dropping and dunkin Donuts,
And now it's like remember when he was hot, Like
(22:16):
you're right, it has been that. Yeah, Like he was
like a meme for like when you feel exhausted in
your life sucks, yeah, right, and now it's like, oh
my god, remember this pick of him believe in Boston. Yeah,
So I mean whatever, I'm happy for them both. This
is why I say always that I am very likely
(22:37):
to join a cult, because I can be convinced in
under thirty seconds to completely shift my views on something,
and that is what I like. Never mind, fuck these
mother The last benefitst segment will ever do. Yeah, benefit
more like how could you guys believe benefit? I hardly knew.
(22:58):
Her segment is just going to be like why Beth
told us what you are trying to convinces of? What? Um? Okay,
so let's take a quick commercial break and be back
to discuss stalking your crush on Loeweb. Stay tuned. Oh,
(23:33):
and we're back with True Romance now. We asked some
of our True Romance followers on Instagram and that is
at True Romance Pod on Instagram if they had any
specific stories from stalking online. Um. Some people did think
this meant stalking, yes, and we're sorry for that confusion.
(23:54):
It was left open for interpretation. I didn't see the prompt.
I'm sorry, I was I heard when I wrote the
crime podcast. Wait, what would say? Tell us about the
craziest time you guys got You've been harassed? L O
L let us know, Hey, assault is it just me?
(24:16):
Gals am I writer at my right, assault and harassment,
get at me, phil our um No, So we had
we had a few. I would call them relatable responses.
One listener commented on a pick at three am and
then realized it was a picture picture taken from two
(24:37):
Ever been there? Yes there. I have accidentally commented twice
before on an old picture. Once I showed a crush.
Once I showed a friend of mine um the instagram
of a crush and we scrolled through to his first
picture and she liked it from it's not right, which
(24:58):
is just like really like I was like, almost looks
like a joke. Well, okay, so the next one is
my mom once posted the name of my high school
crush as her Facebook status instead of searching UM. And
I was just gonna say anytime, my mom, which is
quite often, will say like, wait, show me that person's
Instagram because she wants to catch up with, like someone
I went to elementary school with or something. The the
(25:19):
amount that my hands shake, like still holding onto the phone.
That's so that she doesn't touch the screen. I'm like,
don't touch it, don't, don't, And she'll be like, don't worry.
I didn't touch anything, don't worry, and I'm like, okay,
but I really don't trust that. Um she made his
picture your profile picture. I did the same thing with
my sister and I found some guy from high school,
(25:40):
and it was as if we were trying not to
the hurt locker. It was the hurt locker. It was
the hurt locker. We were just glazing our fingers softly
over the screen, like gently gently. Next next, I know
it's so hard scrolling down. I'm screwing down now. Someone
(26:03):
wrote in not only did I accidentally like a very
old picture on my exes Instagram, but it was of
his new GF. Okay, I think that's a power move.
I think that she's saying good for you. She's saying
good for you. You look happy and open. Recently, I
saw that one of my ex's friends had painted a
picture of us all in our Halloween costumes, and I
(26:27):
was in like a friend's pick. Everyone was tagged except me,
because I believe the painting was finished after me and
my ex broke up, And I was so close to
commenting like am I dead? Why am I still here?
Why don't I get a tag? Someone painted a picture
of all of you. Yeah, they painted a picture based
(26:48):
on a photograph. What is the circle you? I think
it's like, I think it's like actor types. It's like
Chipster app actor types. Like I don't know any Instagram stories,
but one time I wasn't in a paint thing joing
the renasse. We don't photograph? So are we only talked
about current lives? We don't. We don't photograph, don't not
(27:12):
in a painting? Um, Yeah, it's totally relatable. It's just
like when she talks about Rye all the time. It's
like everybody gets it. Yes, thank you, Okay. So final
response that we chose, not that this was all we
got because obviously, like it was the responses we get NonStop, NonStop, NonStop.
(27:34):
UM was turned him down, and still months later he
sends follow requests on all platforms after I decline, which
is something I wanted to bring up just because of
I do find that sometimes men are either clueless about
like social media etiquette surrounding rejection, or they just like
(27:59):
are trying really hard to act like they can do
the scooter bronze wife and immediately go to like being friends.
Because I have had experiences where I like go on
dates with someone ghosts. One guy basically ghosted me, but
then continue to be like one of the first people
to watch all my stories and then would like DM
(28:19):
my stories even though he ghosted me via text. And
I was like, I'm so acting like they're above it,
like oh I don't care actually or yeah, but I
was like, but you ghosted me, like what? It just
was really odd? Um, And I do find that it
seems to be an an area of cluelessness in the
(28:42):
online world, where it's like if someone rejects you, probably
don't engage on the platforms. I just think it's really
funny when guys are are engaging with you after some
sort of failed sexual or romantic relationship as if like well,
if we're not going to date, at least like to
be friends, Like that's what this ghosting person seemed like.
(29:03):
And I was like, uh, in what world? Like we
didn't even really get along that well. I just thought
we were going to hook up, so I was like, sure,
I'll hang out a little bit longer. Um, I have
zero interested in even hearing what you have to say.
Sometimes I two now when you're talking as an as
an older woman in the here we go in the
business world. Oh, by the way, she flashes her engagement
(29:25):
rights as a married woman as a Oh, you have
something in your eyes that what you're rubbing it with
your I'm just gonna say I have some I have
that similar experience with linked in actually, where like you
deny people's requests like several times and they keep adding you.
And I actually had this crazy person who I w
wanted a job or something and whatever blocked him. Actually, um,
(29:50):
and then he like somehow out of me again and
messaged me and was like, I just saw you looked
at my profile ten times in the past week. What's up?
And I was like and so like that, like I
feel like I was almost like gasolate and bamboos into
being like did I look at your No, like I
(30:11):
like I've been I've been hiding in fear. And so
I wrote back and I was like, hey, no, I haven't, sorry,
you know, And then he must be a green shot
of like being like Elizabeth co and looked at your
I don't know. Another horrible, miserable Lincoln thing that happened
(30:34):
to me one time was that, um, I went on
a date with someone and I like it was this
is like early on dating after college, and like I
wasn't like super excited about it at all, but like,
of course you like tell your friends at the time,
like I'm going to a day and like this is
the person I'm like, it went like okay. So I
was trying to be like totally like yeah, no, nice
(30:56):
to meet you. And he's like, did you like tell
your friends about the day And I was like no,
and he's like really because six girls from Cornell just
looked at my LinkedIn program And I was like, you
fucking idiots. Really because your mom, your dad, your sister,
your brother, I'll just looked at my LinkedIn profile. Your
(31:18):
grandmother just called me, oh really because your aunt just
endorsed me for public relations skills that is things I'm private.
You're stupid, stupid bitches. You fucking horse security. No, I
(31:42):
mean I am on endorsing them for friendship. But also
I always wonder if it's true that they can tell,
but I guess they really can. Okay, So I wanted
to share a story that I probably have UM shared
on here before, which is that I dated someone who
didn't have social media. Yes it was hard, Yes, thank you,
thank you. UM and it's not just hard, it's illegal
(32:06):
at this point, it's weird, it is uncomfortable, it's truly
uncalled for. And Um, he had an X of many years,
like a long term X, who he only ever referred
to as their first name, which was Sarah, which is
obviously a very common name. So I just there was
no way, Like I was like, I want to look
(32:27):
her up, obviously, I want to see if she's prettier
than me. I want to see if she's more successful
than me. Obviously all that stuff is really important. But
I couldn't. And then one time I was at a
party um with his friends and one of his friends
reference to the X and was like, oh yeah, like
when Sarah did this, and it just flew out of
my mouth that I was just like, oh yeah, Sarah,
what's her last name? And he was like what who
(32:52):
are you? Um? But I did get her last name.
I did. You're like disguises dude hanging out with Oh yeah, dude.
It was like, bro, I love that girl. Saturday's maiden,
what's that little maiden? What's her mother's maiden? My man,
(33:15):
what's her name? Anyway, I did find their whole relationship
history in Facebook photos. Thank God, I love when you
when it's rich, When it's rich like that. Well, also, Devin,
you dated someone who was super fit, like I was
(33:36):
really into working out. Just leave it at that, and
you found out via Facebook that he actually, like I
think he used to go to fat camp, right, that
he was super overweight? No he was, no, Okay, okay,
(33:57):
I know not. I found out that he was just
like had been chubby. Um, he didn't go to bat camp.
So I don't know like where that came from thinking
or something. So sometimes stuff just like comes up and
you're like, now I know this thing about you, and
are you ever going to tell me that you used
to be chubby? Which was the thing in this relationship.
(34:18):
So eventually I said something I felt I had to
come clean, and I said, I saw some old photo fu.
Um no, I said, I saw some old photos and like,
you like have lost a lot of weight, like you
were kind of overweight. And he was like, no, I wasn't.
And that was kind of it, guys, that was kind
(34:38):
of it. Well, Ben didn't tell me when we started
dating that he used to have a chin strap. What wow? Ye,
pure it was hard. That is actually wild because the
size of that chip and strap, which is probably what
like a little over an itch. That was how close
(34:58):
your future came. So that was as close if you
saw that on bum that has been in his profile,
that could have changed everything. But also like he has
such he has such a defined angular jaw. I can't
imagine why would he mess I've never gotten a good explanation,
and I have pushed, I've been why why would you
(35:21):
do that? Why talk to me? From me? From me?
I want to know you're shaking, You're just pounding your
fists against him. Look at me? Why did you have
a chin strap? I feel like that's like how like
really hot girls will get like shaved their head or something,
or like get a really ugly Katy Perry haircut, and
(35:42):
it's just to be like, listen, I know that God's
blessed me, but I'm going to test their patients right now.
That was been getting the chin strap. Okay, So I
was once stalking this girl that Caroline and Beth both No,
but I won't be a naming them on Instagram like
d back in time. It was the kind of thing
where I was like, Okay, I'm gonna go back and
(36:03):
I just want to see like what made this person
when they are like if this was a TV show,
I would be in the flashbacks right now and I
would be understanding what formed them. And as I'm stalking,
I get a notification that she followed me while I
was talking her. So obviously I did accidentally like something
(36:24):
so cool. It is like here, so yeah, you're looking
for me, bitch, I'm right here, don't you say? It's
really it was really a good power move. She was
one of those people who, um, I just could not
look away from. Like maybe it was her potential plastic surgery.
Maybe it was that she um spray tant herself to
(36:46):
a un recognizable, appropriated place, and I don't know. There's
so many reasons, but I could not look away. And
it's so funny, like when you get into that relationship
with someone where, for instance, today, I was in a
bad mood earlier today and so literally to cheer myself up,
I was like, I'm gonna go look at my my
college boyfriend's ex girlfriend. When I was like, I don't
(37:09):
know what I want to do. I want to see
what she's up to. And it's just because these people
become like creatures of habit to me, I'm like, I'm
gonna go see like play with my barbies, ak like
these the girls tumbler that I used to read every week,
that I used to torture myself with every week, and
now that I read purely to keep in touch with
what she's been up to see how nursing school is going,
(37:30):
you know, like I really want her to find I
truly want her to find love at this point, like
I'm rooting for her, and I think it's the same
with this girl where at first it was like, wait,
what is going on here? Is she okay? To the
point of like how does this evolve? Like I'm just
staying tuned, you know, like i just want to know
what happens next. So one thing that I didn't know
(37:51):
you could stock until recently, um is Venmo. And I
actually found out because one of my friends had two
of my friends had broken up broke up like a
couple of years ago, and she sort of openly was like,
so then I was stalking his Venmo found out that
he was gave money to an ex girlfriend of his
(38:13):
and as a joke, put for nudes on it. So
I confronted him on it and then he said, I'm crazy, etcetera, etcetera,
And I was like, this situation is absolutely out of control.
That being said, thank you for this new outlet for
me to potentially look at. I have tried to do it.
It does not yield any results for me, but it
does remind me to put yeah, and it's just a
(38:36):
good reminder for that. No one needs to see me
paying any Tarot card readers. I know. I yeah, I
always talk on Venmo because, as I've said, I actually
have dated multiple people with no social media UM, and
so it has been my only outfit outfit. It has
been my only thing to throw on fashion on the brain.
(39:00):
Sorry you guys ever have fashion on the brain? You know? UM,
I know it's been my only outlet sometimes. And what
I also would suggest in that situation, if you find
yourself with Venmo as your only UM spot, you can
kind of think back about this person like who they know,
who their friends with. Find one of those people with
a public profile, Go to that person's profile, check the tagged,
(39:25):
checked the story highlights and UM always check the tags, yeah,
just like do some extra investigating. I checked I found
an X I've been dating someone and I had seen
a picture when I checked the tags before the tags
had gotten removed, and so I was like, uh huh,
and I was positive I knew who he had been dating.
(39:46):
I was just like, oh, it's this girl. It's this girl,
to the point where I blocked her even though I
never met her in my life and I know idea
who she was, just to keep myself from like trying
to like go into deep. So then I like meet
up with the X I find out it someone completely different.
Like I was so ready to be upset and hurt,
and when he dropped a name that I truly never considered,
(40:07):
I wasn't even upset because I was so thrown off
that like my algorithm hadn't like provided with the correct answer,
that I was just like, oh, oh, well, she actually
kind of seems nice. Like I know, I like look
at the map that I've been making on my wall
and like when when did? I mean, it's just an
(40:30):
example that we can only get so much information off
of that. I also remember during the Facebook days, when
me and my college boyfriend broke up, I was so
mad at him that I would try I would be
I would like add people from like high school, just
because remember I would like say, like Carolina is now Peter,
and I would be like, oh, I hope you don't
(40:52):
see this. I meanwhile, poor Peter and newman from like
my water pool team was like, I guess Carolina's okay. Ship.
Once I one of my close friends who shall remain nameless,
was starting to date a guy and it was to
date myself. It was right when videos posting videos came
(41:14):
out on Instagram, like you could suddenly post videos and
it would say like how many views you had? And
so she was backstocking him and she had watched a video,
but suddenly she was like, wait, does it tell you
who watches your video? Like? Does it say who watches
it the same way it says who likes it? So
as a test, we decided to post a video of
(41:36):
someone like I had a video of someone else we know,
like someone else we news dog Like. I was like, oh,
I'll post a picture of a video of so and
So's dog and then I'll see if you view it,
planning to immediately delete the video. So I post a
random video of a dog doing nothing with like no
caption and just to see and I was like, oh,
I can't tell who viewed it. And then the person
who owned the dog commented and was like, oh, so cute.
(41:58):
So then I had to leave. Now I have to
believe it because I can't explain that, like I only
used this to like find out if you, oh, you
must have really loved my dog. So I was like,
she thinks I just posted this with no caption randomly
weeks later after I took the video. Um, so that
was That's how good of a friend I am. I'm
(42:18):
just trying to say. There's also been a lot of
like fits and starts and rumors about like if you're
going to ever be able to tell us someone screenshots
Instagram stories, but you never, like I thought I read
that they were like piloting that at one point, Yes
they were, That's what they had detastated. I would be devastated,
and it would just be devastated. It would just be
(42:40):
like so many people who thought one thing would suddenly
know another, you know what I mean? No, I would
everyone who thought I was a friend would know I
was actually Segrely screen setting. Yes, Okay, have you ever
thought that? I've always because we obviously send each other
so many Instagram stories from other people that were making
(43:01):
fun of that I'm always like, if someone is using
my instruction, there must be some time when I posted
something stupid that people are like, can you believe this,
dumb bitch? What was that one story of Caroline? As
we were talking about that's like, yeah, yeah, and they have.
I promised you they have. I my friend had a
(43:22):
really close call because she is in a group chat
about one of her coworkers who's in a really obnoxious relationship.
So they'll always like send each other the Instagram stories
of this couple of fawning over each other and being
like overly sexual and like romantic whatever, and someone sent
one to her and she accidentally responded to the story
(43:46):
the actual story this guy had posted instead of the
group chat on Instagram, and the stor is really really
really easy to do. I've done it before. I mean,
thankfully it's been like nice things because I'm like a
good fucking person. But no, I've but she responded just
(44:07):
I can't, and so it sounded and he was like
I know, but I'm so I need to watch, and
then she was like, you guys have no idea. You
don't know what has occurred and you never will. Oh well,
(44:31):
I wanted to say, for the scrolling aspect of this episode,
which looking back, maybe we didn't have to include because
we do have almost an hour of content already about
just talking. But I did want to talk about, first
of all, the fact that I am so addicted to TikTok.
As I've said on this podcast, I used to think like,
TikTok not for me, just for the kids. I don't
(44:52):
even really care. Wait what, I don't get it. I
don't get the songs, I don't get the bits. I
wake up with TikTok in my EYEBA calls and I
sit there and I scroll for an hour every morning,
hours at night, and I just I laugh, I cry.
I feel so much pure joy. I can't even begin
to tell you. I honestly think like the difference between
(45:16):
TikTok and Instagram is that when I scroll through Instagram,
I leave thinking my life is shit, I'm ugly, I
hate myself, the world is unfair. When I scroll through TikTok,
I leave with a renewed hope and humanity, a renewed
a renewed trust in what this world has to offer,
(45:39):
and just joy. It's just joy. So that's what I
wanted to say. I don't know. You must not be
on the what I eat in the day TikTok then,
because that's not always pure joy for me. Wait what
is that? I don't know. Yeah, I've somehow been targeted
by when I eat in the day and I'm like,
you do only that? Oh no, no, it was like
(46:02):
the pro ana sites that used to go on as
a kid. I can't believe I really needed some parental guidelines.
I am constantly scrolling. I feel like since my surgery,
like since I like, just not a lot is going
on my Instagram you said, has gone way up. I
usually try to only do like forty five minutes a
day and then cut myself off all scrolling of everything.
(46:25):
What do you mean? What have minutes of? What? Forty
five minutes of just like me like on Instagram, like
I only do? Is that a lot? Beth? I think
this is maybe like one of those things where she
has like a public persona that she wants people to
believe in, and then it's not. It's one of those things, okay,
because you can actually tell on Instagram how many minutes
a day you do, So I'd like you to pull
(46:46):
that up and send me a screen set because she is.
It's always active within the last five minutes. Oh my gosh,
what is layer weapons down? You thought just because you're
recovering from major search. Okay, my daily average is fifty
six minutes. Oh guys, I got something to tell you.
(47:08):
Did you beat me thirty two minutes? Oh my god,
it's just because I'm only on TikTok. If if TikTok
has this, I probably have a way higher average. Okay,
you can set a time of it yourself. I don't
want to say mine because I it's been sullied by
the past week at home. Say what it is, Say
(47:30):
what it is. It was. It was, in fact, one
hour and thirty eight minutes. I'm not happy about that,
but it's just it is what it is. I am
who I am, and it's you know, been a hoppy
of mine since coming home the other weekend. I was
on a little zoom with a couple of these gals,
Beth and Carolina, sobbing yes, sure, and I then, you know,
(47:55):
without thinking, I get home, I throw up a little
candid selfie from the day, throw a little Paris filter
on it, beaming smiling joy posted to my story, and
then later that night I really found myself thinking, as
Carrie Bradshaw might say, I couldn't help, but wonder I
couldn't help, but wonder if I'm posting a smiling, beaming,
(48:17):
joyful photo on the day that I was sobbing to
my friends for hours upon hours. It's all a lie,
much like benefit as as Beth pointed out, I think
it's all a lie. And as you guys might point out,
similar to the benefit situation, maybe this is a really
obvious thing and I'm just starting to realize it. I
don't know. The funny thing is, I don't even register
that anymore, Like I don't even register like, oh, I
(48:39):
know that person is actually going through it, but they're
posting a picture of them smiling. I think it is
just this like facade. I've definitely done that more time,
like so many times, just with like my PTSD, like
I regularly would like cry and then be like later
just completely a different mood, like I want to post
something because my mood s could you changed like that?
(49:00):
And I just didn't even really think about it. Beth
Any any final thoughts on stalking and scrolling. Don't do it?
Did you? Did you? You obviously stocked Ben I did.
I mean, I knew every single thing about him before
we met to the point where like I think I
remember like if you maybe I don't know how many
(49:21):
dates and where he's like what's your last name? By
the way, like I want to change I want to
change my contact from Beth Bumble. I'm like, oh, yeah,
I should change yours from bumble boy too. You already
knew social every and he was. I heed his weight
and height from his baseball profile. I knew his girlfriend's name,
(49:41):
and then like little things of like oh my mom
lives in like yeah, Florida, my sister, Yeah she's married. Okay, Um,
so he's like every Easter, I visit my great aunts
and you're like grave in the National Cemetery in Virginia,
very very cool. So suddenly didn't know. Um. I also
(50:02):
remember I did the exact same thing. This is like
a horrible thing, but it's just all part of the
stalking process. But I remember my friends in college with
like also Zillo, like the family's house. Yes, I just
realized you could do this and it is a joy
being like what's your address? Um? And so one of
(50:23):
my friends was dating the Sky and she liked that
so she had gone ben Zillow in his parents house
and then with zilloming his ex girlfriend's parents house, and
then also had pulled up her like high school yearbook
editor or like page. And so then he came over
to study with her and then caught her on her
(50:43):
sorry like with these tabs open, No like that, how
addressed like that? It was? It was dark. So you know,
I learned from that, You know that would never leave
the tabs open and clear your history because if you
click in like yeah, like did you start Facebook, yeah,
then the name immediately comes up. I. Um, my guy
(51:05):
friend once that we're going on the computer to see something,
and he saw that my Apple Books page was opened
and I was looking to maybe purchase a book called
Why Men Love Witches, And he was like, this is
far too real, Like I'm so well, I don't give
a fun Oh my god, Oh my gosh, what the
(51:25):
heck I think I was advertising these days? Advertising? Oh
my god, that the advertising industry is so corrupt that
they really think women like stuff like this. I would neverthetic,
That's what. Um. No final thoughts, but I do think
that both of you guys made very profound points about
(51:48):
comparing what your reality is to someone else's perceived reality
through Instagram, because it is easy to be like I'm
not there in my life. I'm not you know, whether
it's maybe or this or that, it's like it can
it can be really it can put you in such
a dark place for no reason, you know. So I
think if I didn't think Ben would be judged for
(52:10):
me not having social media, which he would be, he
would be considered deleting my Instagram. I someone posted something
on Instagram recently that I really liked where they said like.
It was Jen Atkin, the celebrity hairstylist who wrote a book,
and she said basically that nobody everyone posts them their milestones,
Nobody posts like their trials they're going through. Well, when
(52:34):
they do, it's so annoying, like it's over the time.
Just doing the re instagram of a hard day. This
is me crying. So yeah, I agree, it's so annoying
when people are posting like, um, just having a hot
another hard day. I really want to connect with you guys,
anyone out there who's having a hard day, Like I
see you, I'm with you, like I But yeah, I
(52:56):
I feel like, like, for instance, with my career, Like
I get so job this whenever I see people posting
like things from Deadline, being like, oh my god, I
can't wait for this and it's like their TV show
coming out. But I'm like, they won't post like, oh,
I'm writing version sixty of my script and it's been
three years and I don't know if it's going to
happen or not. So I feel like that's helpful for
(53:17):
me to remember that, like, oh, yeah, you're sharing the
parts that are good that it's helpful to remember. But
I'm like, why do you even tempt myself? Because then
it's like I always have to get myself there, you know,
when it's like oh totally no, why am I I'm
I'm literally setting up up myself to get upset for
an hour and thirty eight minutes every day. Yeah, well,
(53:39):
I'm actually gonna log off now. I just gotta get this.
Her scroll only to get back on my heart thumb
right now is doing like the phantom scroll thing. We
just can't say. Instagram is like no more stories, there
are no more stories. Well, I just want to say
that you gals get me through all the times that
(54:02):
I don't post on Instagram and I really can't even
describe how lucky I am that you guys are my friends.
And yes, I'm being sincere even though I just bullied
Carolina for an hour and a half, I really want
to say that you both did no respond to the
nice thing I said, respond to only the nice thing
getting together with Devin and Beth that I will eat
(54:23):
my fair share of ship and then I just have
to know that, and it's worth it because I love
them both so much and they truly are two of
the funniest people I've ever met in my life. And
I just know that I'm going to get arrusted. Carolina,
I think you are so special. I'm just kidding. I
think you're so strong for going through your surgery. And
please brush your hair. Thank you. When does the doctor
(54:49):
say you can brush your hair again next time? I
don't think that honestly has any negative interactions. So, um, yeah, no,
but you're the best friend. But I love hanging out
with you guys. You're both the best friends. Um, you
(55:11):
can make fun of me, you just aren't pretty good
at it. That's true. That is true. It's hard. You
guys can make fun of me, But I'm fragile, so
just be careful. Um okay, well listeners, we're gonna end
on that joke that I just told that felt completely flat,
and thanks for tuning in anyway. Again, We're worried, Okay.
(55:36):
I love you guys. Bye, Love you guys, lunch much
true so Sorro, I take love me, baby, don't leave
(56:05):
me hanging. I want true ros
Hello, and welcome to True Romance. Uh, this is not
Carolina Barlow It's actually Devin Leary and I'm here with
a friend of the pod, friend of myself. I would
say friend to animals, friend to nature, friend to say
that friend, friend to many who who are lucky enough,
and that is Beth Jacob's Cohen. Happy to be here,
(00:38):
Thanks for having me. Welcome Bath. I I'm really excited.
You know. It's like every time I listen back to
the two episodes that you previously co hosted with us,
I just feel like it just brings something that's really
lacking from the other episodes. Um, which is just like
a second funny, lighthearted per sent an addition to me.
(01:01):
And so it means I'm here. By the way, it's
Carolina Marlowe. I'm also a host of The Romans Path.
There's some background noise anyway, We've heard your voices, we've
heard you listeners, and we know what you want a
new co host, and we are happy to announce you
have one, effective today, effective immediately, effective immediately. I just
(01:25):
want the True Roman's listeners to know that I am injured.
I am any cast right now while they pull these Shenamicaly.
They knew it was actually part of the They actually
reached out listen to reached out and said, hey, I
heard about the surgery. Sounds like an opportunity question mark.
And I said, listen, that hand surgery can't be good
(01:46):
on her voice. She can, she can't. She's not at
her best. I kept telling Caroline, and She's like, I'm
actually completely fine to record the episode. I was like,
you're not at your best. You're not. They kept telling
me around like shit, you sound like shit, you need help.
Why are you trying to say that nice time? What
(02:06):
I'm trying to say is you sound like she didn't
even let you out of the hospital sounding like that
after that surgery. We were like, oh, you're not making sense.
They literally did. The nurses were saying like, oh, you
were so funny when you were high. You kept on
asking for your mommy. Thats the regular too. Is she
here though, mommy? She does. Carolina does say mommy having
(02:30):
been at her parents house, including this weekend when I
had a panic attack and called Carolina's mommy to pick
me up. Um, I don't hear Carolina saying mommy, will
you make me a sandwich? Mommy mama. Yeah, oh wait,
she's gonna think I'm Carolina. That's true. Listeners, I am
(02:50):
recording from my home. I heard that the fact that
you're still breastfeeding is helping with the recovery. Um, how
do you experience that? I just you know, once I latched,
I never stopped. That was seven eight years ago. No
(03:11):
solid foods, never had never had a solid food. Oh wait,
I was picturing that, Like you were saying that Carolina
is breastfeeding a baby. So I was like, oh, this
is funny, but like I don't know that, Like, how
about go with this bit. No, it's that I am
a giant baby that she's thirty eight years old and
(03:31):
still bread years old and still she and and my
mom's one of those hippie moms who was like, hey,
it's not on my clock. Okay, I'm along for they
whatever guya guides my baby to do. I follow. Um,
(03:52):
how are you really feeling, Carolina. I'm good, I'm good.
I'm grateful for my actors and nurses, and I am
just getting ready to basically go into another kind of isolation.
There's something where you can't participate in many activities that
(04:15):
you're like all right, see you guys later. I mean,
if anything, the pandemic warmed me up for this. It's
only going to be like a few months. But you
have Devon nearby, Beth, Really, please don't push that because
I'm trying to. I'm not trying to. I keep saying
you can come over whenever coming over there so much.
(04:38):
I literally feel so much warmth and safety in your house,
and I have. I've already cried there three or four
times since I have been in l A. I will say, though,
It's something that's really funny is that as long as
we've known each other, like my family has never really
seen Devon with me, so they don't really understand like
the abusive tactics that when she uses against me time.
(05:00):
So I had a really funny experience last week that
I wanted to talk about, which was that I finally
matched with someone on Riya that I've actually met before,
and I've had a crush on before, like years ago.
Like I first met him when I was twenty two
and was like, Oh, who's that. He's so funny. I
have a really big crush on him. I match with
(05:22):
him on Riah, I'm like, oh my god, oh my god,
oh my god, immediately text Devan Devans like in what
can only be described as the voice of a villain
in some cartoon, like text him, message him right now,
message him right now, like MoU fassa, MoU fassa. I
(05:45):
think he's gone. Okay, I think okay, is the villain
to you? Tell me everything I need to know about Carolina.
But go on, Okay, I don't tell me who you
are without telling me who you are. Moves to live. Okay, Okay, okay,
(06:07):
we understand, got it. Okay, Yes, I store on the capitol.
There we go. So Devin tells me to message him.
I'm like, I'm not going to message him. I don't
like I'm about to go to this hand searcher. I'm
gonna have a cast or I'm gonna go on a
date when I'm wearing a cast. No. And also, if
I message him, he'll remember that he met me. He
won't be into me. Blah blah blah, negative self talk,
(06:28):
as my therapist would say. So then a few days past,
Devon's at my house. We're all hanging out, and suddenly
she looks across the table. My mom's in the room,
and Devin looks across the table and says, have you
messaged UM that guy? And I'm like, oh no, And
she's like, what's what's wrong with you? Why wouldn't you
My mom sort of looks up like what's happening, and
(06:50):
I'm like, I don't know. I just feel like I
don't know who's gonna want to date someone who's wearing
a cash She's like, oh, you think that's reasonable? If
you if someone wouldn date you with the cast, I
would say they are a very ill person. What are
you talking about? No? No, no, what are you talking about?
So you think that's normal? If you liked the guy
and said that I don't want to date him because
(07:12):
he's wearing a cast, do you think that would be normal?
Suddenly started acting like this villain Jesus Christ, you know,
Santa Claus. That was terrifying. I mean, I haven't seen
the book at a while. Is that is that a
crime anyway? So that I just decide it, I'm going
(07:33):
to text you, I know. And I texted him and
we flirted for a little bit um and it was
like a day that I got to flirt with someone.
And it was the first time in like over a
year that I was like, wait, maybe there is a
romantic future with me, not with this person. I mean, yeah,
for a day I was fixated on that, but like
(07:55):
in general, and it got me. I was so grateful
for it, and I really am so glad I texted him,
even though he didn't end up asking me out, which
is just not even something I'm gonna worry about because
I've matched with people who are cute and I've never
messaged them, So I'm just like, this is a part
of the dating process. But at the same time, it
(08:16):
was just such a relief to flirt with someone into
want what that fucking I just call that sex difference.
I get it. I call that does out. Um. But
today on the pod, well, speaking of the internet, we
(08:38):
wanted to talk about stalking and scrolling. But first we
have some headline get into. And the first is something
that I need to cover with specifically Beth here, and
that is Scooter Braun getting separated after he went into
what page six calls a quote psycho spiritual retreat. Beth,
(09:01):
He's just looking for sympathy. Honestly, I can't even begin
it with him because I was even looking at the
description of the Hoff in process, and it was like
when you feel like you've been wronged and your relationships
are torture whatever. I mean, it's all just him trying
to be like everything that Taylor's friends did to me
put me in a dark place, and he deserved every
(09:21):
mean comment he got. Abuse. I I love everyone posting
now that they're getting divorced, you know, quoting Mad Woman
by Taylor Swift, the feat themselves before you get a
chance to swing. I mean, it's like, yeah, I think
(09:41):
he had it coming. What are your thoughts? He definitely
had it coming. I've seen a lot of doom wis
meaning Beth or her sister Jess has texted me a
lot of doomois about possibility of him being a serial cheater,
which obviously I believe. And when I was reading the
article and everything he is quoted as saying in the
(10:02):
article is him like man splaining spiritual recovery. And it's like, wait,
so even in this moment where you're saying that you
had to go into a quote psycho spiritual retreat because
your marriage fell apart, you're taking that opportunity to man
splain and be like listen, when you're not present, you
really just got to look at yourself and save yourself first,
(10:25):
Like fuck you. I always like I do have like
slightly some like very intuitive powers. I believe, And I
just knew from the moment I saw him that he
is someone who sleeps around. Yeah, he's just a cheater.
He's just a cheater. First of all, his name is
like that's someone who cheats. Like if someone if you
(10:45):
were like I I met this guy, he's like a business.
He's a music manager. His name Scooter, I would be like, Okay,
call your mom. That sounds pretty toxic. Call your mom,
Call my mom. Stand is why they're saying, like, but
we're still best friend. I hate that. That's what everyone says,
(11:06):
is it all? I think it's usually just like give
us our privacy kind of thing, like we're both dedicated
to co parenting and did did dab, but not like
our friendship. Literally they said our friendship has never been better,
We've never been better. That's true. I mean, it's true
that this is a thing because remember Armie Hammer and
his wife did that thing or they were like, we're
(11:27):
best friends, and then it came out that he actually
eats people and she doesn't like that. I guess, um, Yeah,
he doesn't eat people. He eats their heart and their rooms. Sorry,
excuse me. I'm easily charmed by people co parenting. I
think it's like a really cool thing when people get
along with their exes. And I think in general people
(11:48):
get self conscious about like breaking up or splitting up,
and so it's a way to maintain control over the narrative,
to make the narrative be that he's like a great guy.
I think, yeah, yes, I mean that's the thing that
I'm interested in is that, like, I think it's very
bad he has. I think he completely fucked up as
(12:09):
a business person, Like now, the fact that you're represented
by Scooter Braun is like gross to most people. I
was at a premier not to brag, and they people
were getting thanked and everyone was clapping, clapping, clapping, and
then Scooter Braun got thanked at one point and it
was like slow clap crickets, like the really makes me
(12:31):
so happy, hush and the whole world throw it on him.
Yet yeah, I think like he's obviously someone who's still
really really powerful. But if you think about it, like
if three people fired him, he would basically have no company. Well,
I wish him nothing but the worst things. Okay, So,
(12:53):
Jason Sadekis, what is this, Carolina? You threw this in?
Jason Sidekis recently spoke to g Q about his divorce
from or not his divorce, his breakup with Olivia Wilde,
and it was actually kind of sad because I felt
like he was someone who was trying to act like
(13:15):
he had it together um, but was still very clearly
not at all together. Like he compared himself to a
Avengers superhero and said that hitting bottom is okay, but
you can either collapse into a bunch of bones or
(13:37):
you can land like an adventure. And he said He's
going to land like an adventure. Was it was this
a job or like a sincere sentiment? No, it was
a sincere and why they broke up. But he'll understand
in a year from now or something. Okay, this is
what I thought was kind of fucked up. He said,
(13:58):
I'll have a better understand and of y in a year,
and an even better one in two and an even
greater one in five, which I think is good advice.
But then he says, and I'll go from being you know,
a book of my life to becoming a chapter to
a paragraph to align to a word to a doodle,
and I was like, I didn't have kids together. They
have two kids. That's gonna be. That's gonna do. Listen,
(14:23):
I have no idea how hard it would be to be. Basically,
if my ex was dating Harry Styles or the equivalent
of like Dualipa, I would be like really hurt. But
that was the other thing is that he talks about
accepting the Golden globe when he's like his eyes are
blood shot and he's in a hoodie and he says
(14:45):
I was neither high nor heartbroken, and I'm like, it's
the whole. It's the same thing when you're trying to
maintain the narrative, Like why don't you just say, like
like anyone else, it was awkward going through a break up.
Uh okay, So next headline. Chloe Kardashian quote laughed after
(15:07):
her ex boyfriend Tristan Thompson took a childish swipe at
her ex husband Lamar od him on Instagram. Childish is
actually not the one. I sent this to Carolina actually
on Instagram. I sent her the comments thing and I
just was like, oh my god, look Lamar lamar and
Chloe like that was like part of my excitement too,
(15:28):
even though he probably is too toxic for her, I know.
And then Caroline is like, wait, what the funk with
the comment? And I didn't even see that. Right below it,
Tristan Thompson threatened to kill like he brought up his
o D like Lamar just wrote like I think he
gave the fire. He said, Hattie to fire emojis too hard,
(15:49):
eye emoji's heart and then to blushing with hearts emojis. Yeah,
so he was just like whatever flarding with her. By
the way, she's been cheated on not once, not twice,
but three plus times. Tristan has humiliated her beyond. And
then Tristan comments lamar at lamar odom God brought you
back the first time, meaning that God brought you to
(16:10):
life after you nearly odeed play if you want different results,
and then you know I'm going to kill you. So yeah,
I don't know, I'm gonna kill you. What went through
it from no, I mean you see the difference and
(16:31):
was like, why do we have to don't have to
go there? But we also see the difference in these
two comments from these men, as featured on the Daily
Mail website, which is our source for many of these headlines.
Real Tristan thirteen two hearts and two drooling emojis, and
his comment gets a thousand, forty nine likes, and then
(16:51):
Lamar's hottie with all the beautiful, stunning herd eye emojis
gets ten thousand, three hundred and one les. Guests are
from I have it. It's all me and Carolina just
over and over again. Um so yeah, I think that,
And then the article is basically saying that like Chloe
said it was childish, but that she laughed at it,
and I was like, Okay, obviously I would be riding
(17:14):
on this high for months if like my two xes
were comparing. Can you imagine? I think it's embarrassing when
Tristan comments like hard eyes on Chloes pictures, like it's
so embarrassed, Like I'm like stop, Like you're just embarrassing
her more. It's just the guy who everyone knows is
(17:34):
cheating on you, trying to look good in the public eye,
like the day after they broke up, and like, I
love you to the best partner ever. It's like you
were exactly Kim said it after the first time he
was caught cheating on Keeping Up. She said that basically
like the family confronted him and that he got really upset,
(17:55):
and she was like, I don't think he's sorry. She's like,
I think he's embarrassed. I don't think he's sorry. And
and I that really stuck with me because I think
it is the truth, like, oh, you want to look good,
you don't actually care about like hurting this woman at all.
Final headline is gonna be a part of our benefit
(18:16):
segment Benefit. I hardly knew her very popular segment, and
it is that Jennifer Lopez likes a buff throwback photo
of boyfriend Ben Affleck shared by a Benefit fan account. Um,
I guess she's just like us. Is really the subheadline.
(18:37):
This picture was hot too. I was going to like
it they someone had posted. Yeah, an account called Lopez
Affleck posted a photo of Ben in a Believe in
Boston T shirt. So you guys don't seem to be
talking about the fact that this relationship is potentially fake
(19:00):
and I want in fact, we don't seem to be
talking about that. No, And I've been listening closely the
past few episodes, being like, are we gonna address the
obvious or are we just gonna not but okay, yeah no,
they're not gonna're gonna talk about it, So I'll come
here to talk about the potential. All right, So what's
what do you have to say? I mean, I just like,
(19:21):
let's not be let's not based o god, I mean,
like I think you're college educated woman. Not really. I want, okay, fair,
I want in my heart of hearts for them to
be real. And I don't think that it is mutually exclusive,
that like they could either be having a real relationship
(19:44):
and be also like totally this just pr or whatever.
But I think it's like you've seen on de Mois,
like people predict when they're going to do like the
pep walks, like oh, big pep walk coming tomorrow, and
then it's like, oh, they were in Disneyland with the kids,
and like, oh are matching out its strolling in the Hamptons,
And like you don't think that she knew that this
(20:04):
was going to get picked up, that like she liked
a picture of him, right, He really think she just
was genuinely like on page Yeah you think that you
think that, don't you know that That's not what I
thought when I pasted this link into the document for
the episode. That's not what I was thinking. No, I
was not thinking that. Ever, I'm freaking out. No I am,
(20:27):
and honestly, oh my god, what is happening. I'm freaking out.
Not what I was thinking. Oh, she starts, they're just
like us. That is actually how you That is how
I said. That isn't that what I said? Oh my god,
I said that, I said. Meanwhile, I'm watching this video
of her and Ben in the matching outfits walking so
(20:49):
fucking slowly just so that they can pose. And these
random who are these random people with them like that
look like they're in wild, wild country, Like I don't
know who they are, but I feel bad for them.
They have to walk this slowly because I would lose
my mind. I also saw like a pep walk of
him in the Hamptons with just her kids. He's like
walking and then like first he like goes to go
(21:11):
in this bookstore and it's closed, and then he walks
away and he like leaves the kids like and the
does He's like literally gets in the car and like wait,
knowing her children were with you, white van comes and
just picks up the kids. She has no idea. I
don't know. I mean I think I mean it's having
the result that she wants because everyone's like, screw you, right,
(21:33):
this is amazing exactly. And she had some quote where
she was like, I'm actually the happiest I've ever been,
which is you know the famous quote after a breakup, right,
which and maybe she doesn't. I hope she is, but like,
so you think that's the motivation is to get a rod?
And then what's Ben's motivation? I mean he has not
writing forever, right, yeah? He she she is giving him
(21:54):
a cloud like he is dirtbag status and she's giving
him like, no, he's actually like if if your ex
gets back together with you, it may seem like, oh,
you've probably improved yourself. So maybe that's his motivation, right,
Like I think for the past few years been like
oh Ben with the tattoo and dropping and dunkin Donuts,
And now it's like remember when he was hot, Like
(22:16):
you're right, it has been that. Yeah, Like he was
like a meme for like when you feel exhausted in
your life sucks, yeah, right, and now it's like, oh
my god, remember this pick of him believe in Boston. Yeah,
So I mean whatever, I'm happy for them both. This
is why I say always that I am very likely
(22:37):
to join a cult, because I can be convinced in
under thirty seconds to completely shift my views on something,
and that is what I like. Never mind, fuck these
mother The last benefitst segment will ever do. Yeah, benefit
more like how could you guys believe benefit? I hardly knew.
(22:58):
Her segment is just going to be like why Beth
told us what you are trying to convinces of? What? Um? Okay,
so let's take a quick commercial break and be back
to discuss stalking your crush on Loeweb. Stay tuned. Oh,
(23:33):
and we're back with True Romance now. We asked some
of our True Romance followers on Instagram and that is
at True Romance Pod on Instagram if they had any
specific stories from stalking online. Um. Some people did think
this meant stalking, yes, and we're sorry for that confusion.
(23:54):
It was left open for interpretation. I didn't see the prompt.
I'm sorry, I was I heard when I wrote the
crime podcast. Wait, what would say? Tell us about the
craziest time you guys got You've been harassed? L O
L let us know, Hey, assault is it just me?
(24:16):
Gals am I writer at my right, assault and harassment,
get at me, phil our um No, So we had
we had a few. I would call them relatable responses.
One listener commented on a pick at three am and
then realized it was a picture picture taken from two
(24:37):
Ever been there? Yes there. I have accidentally commented twice
before on an old picture. Once I showed a crush.
Once I showed a friend of mine um the instagram
of a crush and we scrolled through to his first
picture and she liked it from it's not right, which
(24:58):
is just like really like I was like, almost looks
like a joke. Well, okay, so the next one is
my mom once posted the name of my high school
crush as her Facebook status instead of searching UM. And
I was just gonna say anytime, my mom, which is
quite often, will say like, wait, show me that person's
Instagram because she wants to catch up with, like someone
I went to elementary school with or something. The the
(25:19):
amount that my hands shake, like still holding onto the phone.
That's so that she doesn't touch the screen. I'm like,
don't touch it, don't, don't, And she'll be like, don't worry.
I didn't touch anything, don't worry, and I'm like, okay,
but I really don't trust that. Um she made his
picture your profile picture. I did the same thing with
my sister and I found some guy from high school,
(25:40):
and it was as if we were trying not to
the hurt locker. It was the hurt locker. It was
the hurt locker. We were just glazing our fingers softly
over the screen, like gently gently. Next next, I know
it's so hard scrolling down. I'm screwing down now. Someone
(26:03):
wrote in not only did I accidentally like a very
old picture on my exes Instagram, but it was of
his new GF. Okay, I think that's a power move.
I think that she's saying good for you. She's saying
good for you. You look happy and open. Recently, I
saw that one of my ex's friends had painted a
picture of us all in our Halloween costumes, and I
(26:27):
was in like a friend's pick. Everyone was tagged except me,
because I believe the painting was finished after me and
my ex broke up, And I was so close to
commenting like am I dead? Why am I still here?
Why don't I get a tag? Someone painted a picture
of all of you. Yeah, they painted a picture based
(26:48):
on a photograph. What is the circle you? I think
it's like, I think it's like actor types. It's like
Chipster app actor types. Like I don't know any Instagram stories,
but one time I wasn't in a paint thing joing
the renasse. We don't photograph? So are we only talked
about current lives? We don't. We don't photograph, don't not
(27:12):
in a painting? Um, Yeah, it's totally relatable. It's just
like when she talks about Rye all the time. It's
like everybody gets it. Yes, thank you, Okay. So final
response that we chose, not that this was all we
got because obviously, like it was the responses we get NonStop, NonStop, NonStop.
(27:34):
UM was turned him down, and still months later he
sends follow requests on all platforms after I decline, which
is something I wanted to bring up just because of
I do find that sometimes men are either clueless about
like social media etiquette surrounding rejection, or they just like
(27:59):
are trying really hard to act like they can do
the scooter bronze wife and immediately go to like being friends.
Because I have had experiences where I like go on
dates with someone ghosts. One guy basically ghosted me, but
then continue to be like one of the first people
to watch all my stories and then would like DM
(28:19):
my stories even though he ghosted me via text. And
I was like, I'm so acting like they're above it,
like oh I don't care actually or yeah, but I
was like, but you ghosted me, like what? It just
was really odd? Um, And I do find that it
seems to be an an area of cluelessness in the
(28:42):
online world, where it's like if someone rejects you, probably
don't engage on the platforms. I just think it's really
funny when guys are are engaging with you after some
sort of failed sexual or romantic relationship as if like well,
if we're not going to date, at least like to
be friends, Like that's what this ghosting person seemed like.
(29:03):
And I was like, uh, in what world? Like we
didn't even really get along that well. I just thought
we were going to hook up, so I was like, sure,
I'll hang out a little bit longer. Um, I have
zero interested in even hearing what you have to say.
Sometimes I two now when you're talking as an as
an older woman in the here we go in the
business world. Oh, by the way, she flashes her engagement
(29:25):
rights as a married woman as a Oh, you have
something in your eyes that what you're rubbing it with
your I'm just gonna say I have some I have
that similar experience with linked in actually, where like you
deny people's requests like several times and they keep adding you.
And I actually had this crazy person who I w
wanted a job or something and whatever blocked him. Actually, um,
(29:50):
and then he like somehow out of me again and
messaged me and was like, I just saw you looked
at my profile ten times in the past week. What's up?
And I was like and so like that, like I
feel like I was almost like gasolate and bamboos into
being like did I look at your No, like I
(30:11):
like I've been I've been hiding in fear. And so
I wrote back and I was like, hey, no, I haven't, sorry,
you know, And then he must be a green shot
of like being like Elizabeth co and looked at your
I don't know. Another horrible, miserable Lincoln thing that happened
(30:34):
to me one time was that, um, I went on
a date with someone and I like it was this
is like early on dating after college, and like I
wasn't like super excited about it at all, but like,
of course you like tell your friends at the time,
like I'm going to a day and like this is
the person I'm like, it went like okay. So I
was trying to be like totally like yeah, no, nice
(30:56):
to meet you. And he's like, did you like tell
your friends about the day And I was like no,
and he's like really because six girls from Cornell just
looked at my LinkedIn program And I was like, you
fucking idiots. Really because your mom, your dad, your sister,
your brother, I'll just looked at my LinkedIn profile. Your
(31:18):
grandmother just called me, oh really because your aunt just
endorsed me for public relations skills that is things I'm private.
You're stupid, stupid bitches. You fucking horse security. No, I
(31:42):
mean I am on endorsing them for friendship. But also
I always wonder if it's true that they can tell,
but I guess they really can. Okay, So I wanted
to share a story that I probably have UM shared
on here before, which is that I dated someone who
didn't have social media. Yes it was hard, Yes, thank you,
thank you. UM and it's not just hard, it's illegal
(32:06):
at this point, it's weird, it is uncomfortable, it's truly
uncalled for. And Um, he had an X of many years,
like a long term X, who he only ever referred
to as their first name, which was Sarah, which is
obviously a very common name. So I just there was
no way, Like I was like, I want to look
(32:27):
her up, obviously, I want to see if she's prettier
than me. I want to see if she's more successful
than me. Obviously all that stuff is really important. But
I couldn't. And then one time I was at a
party um with his friends and one of his friends
reference to the X and was like, oh yeah, like
when Sarah did this, and it just flew out of
my mouth that I was just like, oh yeah, Sarah,
what's her last name? And he was like what who
(32:52):
are you? Um? But I did get her last name.
I did. You're like disguises dude hanging out with Oh yeah, dude.
It was like, bro, I love that girl. Saturday's maiden,
what's that little maiden? What's her mother's maiden? My man,
(33:15):
what's her name? Anyway, I did find their whole relationship
history in Facebook photos. Thank God, I love when you
when it's rich, When it's rich like that. Well, also, Devin,
you dated someone who was super fit, like I was
(33:36):
really into working out. Just leave it at that, and
you found out via Facebook that he actually, like I
think he used to go to fat camp, right, that
he was super overweight? No he was, no, Okay, okay,
(33:57):
I know not. I found out that he was just
like had been chubby. Um, he didn't go to bat camp.
So I don't know like where that came from thinking
or something. So sometimes stuff just like comes up and
you're like, now I know this thing about you, and
are you ever going to tell me that you used
to be chubby? Which was the thing in this relationship.
(34:18):
So eventually I said something I felt I had to
come clean, and I said, I saw some old photo fu.
Um no, I said, I saw some old photos and like,
you like have lost a lot of weight, like you
were kind of overweight. And he was like, no, I wasn't.
And that was kind of it, guys, that was kind
(34:38):
of it. Well, Ben didn't tell me when we started
dating that he used to have a chin strap. What wow? Ye,
pure it was hard. That is actually wild because the
size of that chip and strap, which is probably what
like a little over an itch. That was how close
(34:58):
your future came. So that was as close if you
saw that on bum that has been in his profile,
that could have changed everything. But also like he has
such he has such a defined angular jaw. I can't
imagine why would he mess I've never gotten a good explanation,
and I have pushed, I've been why why would you
(35:21):
do that? Why talk to me? From me? From me?
I want to know you're shaking, You're just pounding your
fists against him. Look at me? Why did you have
a chin strap? I feel like that's like how like
really hot girls will get like shaved their head or something,
or like get a really ugly Katy Perry haircut, and
(35:42):
it's just to be like, listen, I know that God's
blessed me, but I'm going to test their patients right now.
That was been getting the chin strap. Okay, So I
was once stalking this girl that Caroline and Beth both No,
but I won't be a naming them on Instagram like
d back in time. It was the kind of thing
where I was like, Okay, I'm gonna go back and
(36:03):
I just want to see like what made this person
when they are like if this was a TV show,
I would be in the flashbacks right now and I
would be understanding what formed them. And as I'm stalking,
I get a notification that she followed me while I
was talking her. So obviously I did accidentally like something
(36:24):
so cool. It is like here, so yeah, you're looking
for me, bitch, I'm right here, don't you say? It's
really it was really a good power move. She was
one of those people who, um, I just could not
look away from. Like maybe it was her potential plastic surgery.
Maybe it was that she um spray tant herself to
(36:46):
a un recognizable, appropriated place, and I don't know. There's
so many reasons, but I could not look away. And
it's so funny, like when you get into that relationship
with someone where, for instance, today, I was in a
bad mood earlier today and so literally to cheer myself up,
I was like, I'm gonna go look at my my
college boyfriend's ex girlfriend. When I was like, I don't
(37:09):
know what I want to do. I want to see
what she's up to. And it's just because these people
become like creatures of habit to me, I'm like, I'm
gonna go see like play with my barbies, ak like
these the girls tumbler that I used to read every week,
that I used to torture myself with every week, and
now that I read purely to keep in touch with
what she's been up to see how nursing school is going,
(37:30):
you know, like I really want her to find I
truly want her to find love at this point, like
I'm rooting for her, and I think it's the same
with this girl where at first it was like, wait,
what is going on here? Is she okay? To the
point of like how does this evolve? Like I'm just
staying tuned, you know, like i just want to know
what happens next. So one thing that I didn't know
(37:51):
you could stock until recently, um is Venmo. And I
actually found out because one of my friends had two
of my friends had broken up broke up like a
couple of years ago, and she sort of openly was like,
so then I was stalking his Venmo found out that
he was gave money to an ex girlfriend of his
(38:13):
and as a joke, put for nudes on it. So
I confronted him on it and then he said, I'm crazy, etcetera, etcetera,
And I was like, this situation is absolutely out of control.
That being said, thank you for this new outlet for
me to potentially look at. I have tried to do it.
It does not yield any results for me, but it
does remind me to put yeah, and it's just a
(38:36):
good reminder for that. No one needs to see me
paying any Tarot card readers. I know. I yeah, I
always talk on Venmo because, as I've said, I actually
have dated multiple people with no social media UM, and
so it has been my only outfit outfit. It has
been my only thing to throw on fashion on the brain.
(39:00):
Sorry you guys ever have fashion on the brain? You know? UM,
I know it's been my only outlet sometimes. And what
I also would suggest in that situation, if you find
yourself with Venmo as your only UM spot, you can
kind of think back about this person like who they know,
who their friends with. Find one of those people with
a public profile, Go to that person's profile, check the tagged,
(39:25):
checked the story highlights and UM always check the tags, yeah,
just like do some extra investigating. I checked I found
an X I've been dating someone and I had seen
a picture when I checked the tags before the tags
had gotten removed, and so I was like, uh huh,
and I was positive I knew who he had been dating.
(39:46):
I was just like, oh, it's this girl. It's this girl,
to the point where I blocked her even though I
never met her in my life and I know idea
who she was, just to keep myself from like trying
to like go into deep. So then I like meet
up with the X I find out it someone completely different.
Like I was so ready to be upset and hurt,
and when he dropped a name that I truly never considered,
(40:07):
I wasn't even upset because I was so thrown off
that like my algorithm hadn't like provided with the correct answer,
that I was just like, oh, oh, well, she actually
kind of seems nice. Like I know, I like look
at the map that I've been making on my wall
and like when when did? I mean, it's just an
(40:30):
example that we can only get so much information off
of that. I also remember during the Facebook days, when
me and my college boyfriend broke up, I was so
mad at him that I would try I would be
I would like add people from like high school, just
because remember I would like say, like Carolina is now Peter,
and I would be like, oh, I hope you don't
(40:52):
see this. I meanwhile, poor Peter and newman from like
my water pool team was like, I guess Carolina's okay. Ship.
Once I one of my close friends who shall remain nameless,
was starting to date a guy and it was to
date myself. It was right when videos posting videos came
(41:14):
out on Instagram, like you could suddenly post videos and
it would say like how many views you had? And
so she was backstocking him and she had watched a video,
but suddenly she was like, wait, does it tell you
who watches your video? Like? Does it say who watches
it the same way it says who likes it? So
as a test, we decided to post a video of
(41:36):
someone like I had a video of someone else we know,
like someone else we news dog Like. I was like, oh,
I'll post a picture of a video of so and
So's dog and then I'll see if you view it,
planning to immediately delete the video. So I post a
random video of a dog doing nothing with like no
caption and just to see and I was like, oh,
I can't tell who viewed it. And then the person
who owned the dog commented and was like, oh, so cute.
(41:58):
So then I had to leave. Now I have to
believe it because I can't explain that, like I only
used this to like find out if you, oh, you
must have really loved my dog. So I was like,
she thinks I just posted this with no caption randomly
weeks later after I took the video. Um, so that
was That's how good of a friend I am. I'm
(42:18):
just trying to say. There's also been a lot of
like fits and starts and rumors about like if you're
going to ever be able to tell us someone screenshots
Instagram stories, but you never, like I thought I read
that they were like piloting that at one point, Yes
they were, That's what they had detastated. I would be devastated,
and it would just be devastated. It would just be
(42:40):
like so many people who thought one thing would suddenly
know another, you know what I mean? No, I would
everyone who thought I was a friend would know I
was actually Segrely screen setting. Yes, Okay, have you ever
thought that? I've always because we obviously send each other
so many Instagram stories from other people that were making
(43:01):
fun of that I'm always like, if someone is using
my instruction, there must be some time when I posted
something stupid that people are like, can you believe this,
dumb bitch? What was that one story of Caroline? As
we were talking about that's like, yeah, yeah, and they have.
I promised you they have. I my friend had a
(43:22):
really close call because she is in a group chat
about one of her coworkers who's in a really obnoxious relationship.
So they'll always like send each other the Instagram stories
of this couple of fawning over each other and being
like overly sexual and like romantic whatever, and someone sent
one to her and she accidentally responded to the story
(43:46):
the actual story this guy had posted instead of the
group chat on Instagram, and the stor is really really
really easy to do. I've done it before. I mean,
thankfully it's been like nice things because I'm like a
good fucking person. But no, I've but she responded just
(44:07):
I can't, and so it sounded and he was like
I know, but I'm so I need to watch, and
then she was like, you guys have no idea. You
don't know what has occurred and you never will. Oh well,
(44:31):
I wanted to say, for the scrolling aspect of this episode,
which looking back, maybe we didn't have to include because
we do have almost an hour of content already about
just talking. But I did want to talk about, first
of all, the fact that I am so addicted to TikTok.
As I've said on this podcast, I used to think like,
TikTok not for me, just for the kids. I don't
(44:52):
even really care. Wait what, I don't get it. I
don't get the songs, I don't get the bits. I
wake up with TikTok in my EYEBA calls and I
sit there and I scroll for an hour every morning,
hours at night, and I just I laugh, I cry.
I feel so much pure joy. I can't even begin
to tell you. I honestly think like the difference between
(45:16):
TikTok and Instagram is that when I scroll through Instagram,
I leave thinking my life is shit, I'm ugly, I
hate myself, the world is unfair. When I scroll through TikTok,
I leave with a renewed hope and humanity, a renewed
a renewed trust in what this world has to offer,
(45:39):
and just joy. It's just joy. So that's what I
wanted to say. I don't know. You must not be
on the what I eat in the day TikTok then,
because that's not always pure joy for me. Wait what
is that? I don't know. Yeah, I've somehow been targeted
by when I eat in the day and I'm like,
you do only that? Oh no, no, it was like
(46:02):
the pro ana sites that used to go on as
a kid. I can't believe I really needed some parental guidelines.
I am constantly scrolling. I feel like since my surgery,
like since I like, just not a lot is going
on my Instagram you said, has gone way up. I
usually try to only do like forty five minutes a
day and then cut myself off all scrolling of everything.
(46:25):
What do you mean? What have minutes of? What? Forty
five minutes of just like me like on Instagram, like
I only do? Is that a lot? Beth? I think
this is maybe like one of those things where she
has like a public persona that she wants people to
believe in, and then it's not. It's one of those things, okay,
because you can actually tell on Instagram how many minutes
a day you do, So I'd like you to pull
(46:46):
that up and send me a screen set because she is.
It's always active within the last five minutes. Oh my gosh,
what is layer weapons down? You thought just because you're
recovering from major search. Okay, my daily average is fifty
six minutes. Oh guys, I got something to tell you.
(47:08):
Did you beat me thirty two minutes? Oh my god,
it's just because I'm only on TikTok. If if TikTok
has this, I probably have a way higher average. Okay,
you can set a time of it yourself. I don't
want to say mine because I it's been sullied by
the past week at home. Say what it is, Say
(47:30):
what it is. It was. It was, in fact, one
hour and thirty eight minutes. I'm not happy about that,
but it's just it is what it is. I am
who I am, and it's you know, been a hoppy
of mine since coming home the other weekend. I was
on a little zoom with a couple of these gals,
Beth and Carolina, sobbing yes, sure, and I then, you know,
(47:55):
without thinking, I get home, I throw up a little
candid selfie from the day, throw a little Paris filter
on it, beaming smiling joy posted to my story, and
then later that night I really found myself thinking, as
Carrie Bradshaw might say, I couldn't help, but wonder I
couldn't help, but wonder if I'm posting a smiling, beaming,
(48:17):
joyful photo on the day that I was sobbing to
my friends for hours upon hours. It's all a lie,
much like benefit as as Beth pointed out, I think
it's all a lie. And as you guys might point out,
similar to the benefit situation, maybe this is a really
obvious thing and I'm just starting to realize it. I
don't know. The funny thing is, I don't even register
that anymore, Like I don't even register like, oh, I
(48:39):
know that person is actually going through it, but they're
posting a picture of them smiling. I think it is
just this like facade. I've definitely done that more time,
like so many times, just with like my PTSD, like
I regularly would like cry and then be like later
just completely a different mood, like I want to post
something because my mood s could you changed like that?
(49:00):
And I just didn't even really think about it. Beth
Any any final thoughts on stalking and scrolling. Don't do it?
Did you? Did you? You obviously stocked Ben I did.
I mean, I knew every single thing about him before
we met to the point where like I think I
remember like if you maybe I don't know how many
(49:21):
dates and where he's like what's your last name? By
the way, like I want to change I want to
change my contact from Beth Bumble. I'm like, oh, yeah,
I should change yours from bumble boy too. You already
knew social every and he was. I heed his weight
and height from his baseball profile. I knew his girlfriend's name,
(49:41):
and then like little things of like oh my mom
lives in like yeah, Florida, my sister, Yeah she's married. Okay, Um,
so he's like every Easter, I visit my great aunts
and you're like grave in the National Cemetery in Virginia,
very very cool. So suddenly didn't know. Um. I also
(50:02):
remember I did the exact same thing. This is like
a horrible thing, but it's just all part of the
stalking process. But I remember my friends in college with
like also Zillo, like the family's house. Yes, I just
realized you could do this and it is a joy
being like what's your address? Um? And so one of
(50:23):
my friends was dating the Sky and she liked that
so she had gone ben Zillow in his parents house
and then with zilloming his ex girlfriend's parents house, and
then also had pulled up her like high school yearbook
editor or like page. And so then he came over
to study with her and then caught her on her
(50:43):
sorry like with these tabs open, No like that, how
addressed like that? It was? It was dark. So you know,
I learned from that, You know that would never leave
the tabs open and clear your history because if you
click in like yeah, like did you start Facebook, yeah,
then the name immediately comes up. I. Um, my guy
(51:05):
friend once that we're going on the computer to see something,
and he saw that my Apple Books page was opened
and I was looking to maybe purchase a book called
Why Men Love Witches, And he was like, this is
far too real, Like I'm so well, I don't give
a fun Oh my god, Oh my gosh, what the
(51:25):
heck I think I was advertising these days? Advertising? Oh
my god, that the advertising industry is so corrupt that
they really think women like stuff like this. I would neverthetic,
That's what. Um. No final thoughts, but I do think
that both of you guys made very profound points about
(51:48):
comparing what your reality is to someone else's perceived reality
through Instagram, because it is easy to be like I'm
not there in my life. I'm not you know, whether
it's maybe or this or that, it's like it can
it can be really it can put you in such
a dark place for no reason, you know. So I
think if I didn't think Ben would be judged for
(52:10):
me not having social media, which he would be, he
would be considered deleting my Instagram. I someone posted something
on Instagram recently that I really liked where they said like.
It was Jen Atkin, the celebrity hairstylist who wrote a book,
and she said basically that nobody everyone posts them their milestones,
Nobody posts like their trials they're going through. Well, when
(52:34):
they do, it's so annoying, like it's over the time.
Just doing the re instagram of a hard day. This
is me crying. So yeah, I agree, it's so annoying
when people are posting like, um, just having a hot
another hard day. I really want to connect with you guys,
anyone out there who's having a hard day, Like I
see you, I'm with you, like I But yeah, I
(52:56):
I feel like, like, for instance, with my career, Like
I get so job this whenever I see people posting
like things from Deadline, being like, oh my god, I
can't wait for this and it's like their TV show
coming out. But I'm like, they won't post like, oh,
I'm writing version sixty of my script and it's been
three years and I don't know if it's going to
happen or not. So I feel like that's helpful for
(53:17):
me to remember that, like, oh, yeah, you're sharing the
parts that are good that it's helpful to remember. But
I'm like, why do you even tempt myself? Because then
it's like I always have to get myself there, you know,
when it's like oh totally no, why am I I'm
I'm literally setting up up myself to get upset for
an hour and thirty eight minutes every day. Yeah, well,
(53:39):
I'm actually gonna log off now. I just gotta get this.
Her scroll only to get back on my heart thumb
right now is doing like the phantom scroll thing. We
just can't say. Instagram is like no more stories, there
are no more stories. Well, I just want to say
that you gals get me through all the times that
(54:02):
I don't post on Instagram and I really can't even
describe how lucky I am that you guys are my friends.
And yes, I'm being sincere even though I just bullied
Carolina for an hour and a half, I really want
to say that you both did no respond to the
nice thing I said, respond to only the nice thing
getting together with Devin and Beth that I will eat
(54:23):
my fair share of ship and then I just have
to know that, and it's worth it because I love
them both so much and they truly are two of
the funniest people I've ever met in my life. And
I just know that I'm going to get arrusted. Carolina,
I think you are so special. I'm just kidding. I
think you're so strong for going through your surgery. And
please brush your hair. Thank you. When does the doctor
(54:49):
say you can brush your hair again next time? I
don't think that honestly has any negative interactions. So, um, yeah, no,
but you're the best friend. But I love hanging out
with you guys. You're both the best friends. Um, you
(55:11):
can make fun of me, you just aren't pretty good
at it. That's true. That is true. It's hard. You
guys can make fun of me, But I'm fragile, so
just be careful. Um okay, well listeners, we're gonna end
on that joke that I just told that felt completely flat,
and thanks for tuning in anyway. Again, We're worried, Okay.
(55:36):
I love you guys. Bye, Love you guys, lunch much
true so Sorro, I take love me, baby, don't leave
(56:05):
me hanging. I want true ros
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