March 9, 2023 • 36 mins
Devin and Carolina are forced to cover an episode of this season of The Bachelor, not because of its historic first-ever virtual rose ceremony, but because Zach’s behavior is too pretentious to not be called out. Plus, a discussion of boundaries and Nedra Glover Tawwab’s new book!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hello, and welcome to True Romance. This is Carolina Barlow
and this is Devin Leary. We've avoided it for long enough.
Let me let me say one thing before the subject,
because I actually just thought of this. What So I
actually went to an educational event this week and I'm listening.
I'm suspect and I'm listening. So I swent Devin goes
(00:40):
into a cult. By the way, it's like, I'm you
know what, Yeah, my breakup was hard. I did meet
a guy. We played volleyball together at two am and
he had me lick a puddle. Um, yeah, so I've
lost thing. Accounts is changing your life and that's why
I'm wearing this beautiful golden sash. So the truth is,
(01:02):
I don't. It's never occurred to me to look into
like events Like It's interesting because a friend of mine
was offering breakup advice and was like, you know, like
focus on, like what are your hobbies, And for me personally,
it's blank there watching TV and reading, which I think
(01:22):
are good hobbies, but it's like there's nothing that I
like do that's like enriching. It's also like not working.
My hot work is going into the kitchen at various hours.
Snacking at four pm is my hobby. Yeah, so getting
a second cup of copy at eleven am is my hobby. Like,
those are things I like that I do for pleasure.
(01:42):
So friend of the pod, Haley Carter's sister, Lindsay Carter,
invited me to go see this author speak. You've referenced
her on the podcast. I've referenced a on the podcast.
It's Nedra Glover clob Oh my god, I cannot believe you. Really,
I've grown apart if you didn't immediately tell me about this.
(02:02):
You know, you know how I feel about Nidra. Well,
it just kind of happened so fast that I was
invited and I went and and I like didn't realize
this is like maybe a red flag thing to say
to someone you're like not that close with. But like
Lindsay and I are on our way there, and I
was like, oh my god, I hope she has a
question answers, because I have a question I really want
to ask. God. Is scared read to hear from someone
(02:23):
who went to an event with Can you imagine can
you imagine going to an event with your partner that's
a question and answer and hearing like your boyfriend say like, oh,
I hope there's a question and answer, because I am
getting up on that Mic. I would be like, I'm
gonna have to put you down like a little sick dog. Well,
so we get there and there is a bucket and
there are index cards and there are sharpies, so like,
(02:45):
how much ink do these things have? You better believe it?
So I wrote a question the way I beat up
a few people. I have a few assaults. An elderly
woman out of the way. He was asking why you
connect with her daughter? Side note before we get back
to this, but like, have you did you notice watching
The Bachelor this week that there was the commercial that
(03:07):
was like, do you have a senior or elderly relative
looking for love? Submit them to the Bachelor? How many years?
How many years have we seen that ad? Wait, I've
never seen that ad about elderly Yes, they do it
every year, Devin, this season? Why yes? This is maybe
the third fourth season. It says elders looking for love?
Question market. There's like a field behind them, as if
(03:30):
like all old people work on farms, and it's like
a why for the Bachelor. I think that they are
encouraging old people to continue to watch The Bachelor, and
you know Tricia and Ryan season, those people are like
what eighty now people, So I think we we're around
(03:50):
when Tricia was still a name baby's got. So I
think that they're somehow hoping to pull in that audience
by saying something, even though all we really want to
do is see everyone go, you know, to cobble eventually
and m break up on the beach. I think that
(04:10):
they're trying to hook some older audience still by dangling
this little Carol. But I'm sorry, I thank you for
feeling that because I forgot the word. I know, I'm
I know you all, y'all golden age people are gonna
say that I'm naive and oh, little old Devin thinks
she knows anything about life. But I'm sorry. If you're
(04:30):
elderly and you see that ad and you submit to
be on the Bachelor, thinking like you're going to get
to date. Grocery store, Joe, you need to go be
staying in a home now, it's time you need it
means you need. You don't need grocery store, Joel. You
need a nurse. You need something that you can press
in case of an emergency. That's that's what I'm gonna say.
(04:52):
But the point being, guh, I did beat up some
elderly people to ask my question. And by the way,
Nedra is so fucking stunning in person, like I was
blown away they asked my question. Did she answered my question?
So I just want to share it because I just
thought it was I was gonna say, you have to
share it, like in my opinion, it was honestly a
really good question that most people would relate to. So anyway,
(05:16):
my question was, and yes, to do when I've talked
to Taylor Swift lyric? What lyric would you follow up with? Hey,
it's like I've chosen to like already remove from my mind.
How insane the text messages I've sent to my expert
in arts, like, you know, like not about Taylor Swift,
because there's been so many other fucking crazy ones like
(05:36):
I forgot Taylor Swift. I don't even want to tell.
I don't even want to say, like you don't have
something I said, you don't have to You're like, oh,
I got okay, stop stop stop, No, you don't and
you don't have to say that to anyway, And you
can keep that to your little We'll never forget when
I blocked a guy in New York on Instagram because
I didn't want myself to reach out to him anymore.
And this was Instagram and it's like first edition, and
(06:00):
somehow the only way I was able to message him
was take a screenshot a they note and send it
to him via Instagram, Like somehow that was the only
thing that worked. And I did that. So I did that.
I did. I grasped at straws and then I said
to friend of the pod Little Frecks, I'm a Carol.
This is something I did. Is it? How bad is it?
And she said, what do you want me to say?
(06:21):
Like what what do you want? What do you want
to say? It's fine that you basically like he's going
to look at that and spell out like, oh, she
really didn't want to reach out to me, so she
probably blocked me. And then she sent me this note
saying that she still really wants to hang out with me,
and that's really sad. The mixed messages, that's the thing
is like I think that, like, yes, it's easy to
(06:45):
to accuse the other party, meaning the person who did
the breaking up. It's easy to accuse them of like
mixed messages. But it's like, then again, how many times
have I said like, um, it's really not for me
to communicate with you, so like I need to stop,
and then been like, hey, what's up? Happy Saturday? You
know I I this is what I do. At least,
(07:06):
I regress an age rapidly, like I become a the
youngest version of myself, where it's literally a baby needs bottle.
Like I'm like, I just in your T shirt. I
h I just wanted to hug me. I want to
wake up in your chest. And then I become Glenn Doyle.
(07:27):
But it's not me, you know. It's like then I'm
like me, yeah, Like okay, whatever I said yesterday about
your perfect never mind. I'm taking care of me and
boundaries need to be set. And then they say one
thing and I'm like, okay, I'm confused. What are you
trying to say? Wait one more text? This is the
last thing I'll say. What are you trying to say? Um?
(07:49):
What question? Mark? Last thing I'll say is do you
want to talk later? Ye? Sorry? Where are you right now? Okay?
So my question was how do you draw a line
between boundaries? I mean memorizing it word for word, by
the way, you're it by the way, like you're pitching
like a great movie idea. You're like, I'm like clicking. Okay,
(08:14):
a room full of people heard it, and guess what
I heard resound through the room. Ah Okay. So, not
to mention, the moderator, Charlomagne, the God controversial figure, did
say he thought it was a really good question. Okay.
So the question was, how do you draw a line
between boundaries and selfishness when it comes to responding to
(08:36):
text messages and phone calls from people? God, is very,
very very good question, because this is something I have
to say. I personally do not like to text about
like real things. I only like to text about memes,
something funny, someone sending me photos of myself, like screenshots
(09:00):
of some people's Instagram stories. Yes, talking shit, oh, talking shit,
but even even talking shit, then I have to move
to voice them all because you're like, you're like, all right,
it's too long to text. But like, basically, this is
what happened. I like to verifize why this person is
so traumatic, Like I don't I can't even put enough
emojis to this. So for me, for places like I
(09:22):
prefer a phone call and even that sometimes it's like, Okay,
I'm watching the housewives, Like I don't necessarily have time
for a phone call right now. So it's just hard
because I know when I went through the breakup, a
lot of people who cared about me, I started to
get the how are you? Text? The how are you doing?
And I don't like to text. There's nothing wrong with that.
Some people like that, but I don't like to text
(09:43):
how I'm doing. It's like I can't even get well,
maybe this is a me problem. It's like did you
see that meme that's been going around of Vicky from
Real house sives of OC that It's like someone's like,
how are you? And she's like, I, my life is
falling apart and my romance has broken my heart and
nothing's getting better and there's no hope for me. Like
I'm like, I guess maybe I could just say I'm
fine when people ask how I'm doing, But I'm like, oh,
(10:05):
how am I doing? As if that's a simple question.
So I'm just like I can't even I guess I
see how are you doing? And I think like, oh,
where do I even begin how I'm doing? Like what
do you want to know this morning was good. Yeah,
it's good for about five minutes and then guess what happened? No,
I don't know, so like I guess. For me, it's
like I don't like to respond to that. And then
also like sometimes it's like, Okay, I'm watching the Real Housewives.
(10:28):
A family member calls, Yes, I could pause the Real Housewives.
A good friend calls that being said like I'm really
enjoying this moment of like watching something in self care. Okay.
So Nedra's answer was she keeps her phone on do
not disturb at all times, and she'll call you back
when she's ready. She will call you back when she's ready.
(10:48):
She also used because then, um, well okay, she said,
sometimes she'll respond. If she ever responds right away, it's
to say this is the time I'm available, Like I
might be able tomorrow at five fifteen. It's not like
and unless it's like someone reaching out directly saying there's
an emergency, it's not urgent. And she also brought up
(11:08):
that like this is a product of our time that
we're living in, like it used to be that. She
gave the example like when she was a kid, when
she wanted to get in touch with her mom while
her mom was at work, it was nearly impossible, like
she would pay and she would ask for a time
and whatever. So now it's like, you can call someone
at work in two seconds, you can text someone at work,
you can take someone away from what they're doing at
(11:29):
any moment, and it creates like this really unfair dynamic
where we feel like we owe someone who responds at
all times and we don't. She also used an example
because Charlemagne then turned it into like, what about it
if it's like your family member, like, then it's a
little harder to set those kind of boundaries. And she said,
my children don't think I should be here right now.
When I left the house, they said, it's not fair.
(11:50):
I don't want you to go. I want you to
stay home with me. That's fine that they want that,
But I'm going to work because I need to. Like,
it's like, that's fine if somebody wants to be speaking
to me, it doesn't mean I need to be speaking
to them. So I just thought that was really helpful.
I love that so much and reminds me one of
the best piece of pieces of advice I ever got.
I was in New York and this crazy person really
(12:12):
wanted to talk to me, this crazy girl. And it
was this crazy girl. She was dressed, she had a
butterfly top on and she had picked it out and
was angry. No, it was this other angry person who
was mad at me for some confusing reason I don't
even remember the details of, but I remember talking to
my friend being like, I don't want to talk to her,
(12:34):
and this woman said, you know, she's there to apologize, say,
except I accept your apology, I don't really want to
talk about this. And I said, but what if she
gets upset? And she said to me in response, and
this is so basic, but I still repeat it ten
years later. She said, well, not everyone gets what they
want in this life. And I'm like, oh my god,
this female urge to constantly make sure that you are
(12:56):
getting what you want, even if you is someone random,
and I have to you know, I really struggle with
the fact that, like consequences what happened, I'm not in
charge of making sure the entire world is happy, and
especially when it comes to here, Glennon comes out, especially
(13:16):
when it comes to my own inner piece, my own time,
and I don't have to give it all away to
people who I find overwhelming or none like unkind if
that's harmful to me, not just because they want to,
I know, And I think it's like a lot easier
said than done. Yeah, but really I think And also
(13:38):
she oh, this was another really helpful. I mean I
could talk all night about what she said the whole,
for the whole, like, Okay, I was looking of her
book was available February twenty eighth, and I know that
because I checked literally five times on the Apple Bookstore
because Boundaries No More helped me so much. That's not true.
(14:00):
I for the most part, unless someone asks me for help,
I do not offer it. Meaning that I mean, if
I'm at work and you know, I'm on a production
right now and it's you know, the schedule is crazy,
and I'll ask people like what can I help with today? Etc.
But if someone is, you know, talking to me, I
can so easily get into therapist mode and I don't
(14:23):
have to. And I think what Nedra has helped me
most with is really being okay with someone else's feelings
being messy. Yeah, And it's also the thing that she's
the other thing she said that was helpful was like,
you still have to show up for the relationships in
(14:44):
the capacity you're expected to. Like she was like, if
you're a boss and you don't like your employee, you
still have to give them their paycheck, Like what, you
still have to do your job and so like if
your grandparent calls you, like you still have to call
them back. You just don't have to do it right
away or in a way that's inconvenient to you or
in interferes with like how you need to live your life.
(15:04):
That's healthy for you, right, And she also did talk
about like, you know, it's like it's not helpful to
therapize people who don't want it. It's like helpful. I
don't have a job. I don't have a job at
all anywhere where I'm a therapist. I'm a daughter, sister,
and friend and employee. Like that's and like collaborator, those
(15:25):
are the wrong. I've been wrong many times, the wrong
about my whole life, have been wrong about other people's lives.
Why can't I accept that people are the best authority
on their lives. For the most part, I've never been wrong,
but I was wrong once and that I who should
(15:47):
be president during the twenty twenty election. I know in retrospect.
I was I was wrong because I've read about this
Joe Biden and his son, and I can't believe I
posted as many Instagram stories as I did that. Yet
that is what I regret. I regret that speaking of
men who have no business being in charge. Yeah, we're
(16:07):
gonna take a quick break and then we're gonna get
back to the Bachelor, and we're back with maybe my
least favor Bachelor ever. Pilot. Pete was up there, but
(16:28):
Zach may have defeated him. Zach makes me so fucking angry,
Like there are so many moments in the show where
it's incomprehensible to me that the girls don't like come
from the interaction with him and then immediately find each
other and be like can I talk to you for
a second, Like what the fuck is wrong with that guy?
Like how are not season? It's so confusing, Like they're yeah,
(16:53):
it would be the best season if they like turned
against him, and we're like, wait a second, he's not
even hot, first of all. Second of all sucks. He's
not interesting, he's not funny. He makes the worst jokes.
He makes like dad jokes, if like all dads were
the most boring person alive. That's why part of me
thinks him and Gabby do deserve each other because she's
so atypical in such a girl way. On their London
(17:15):
date during high tea, she put a little She's like,
can I put this on you? And it's a girl's veil,
like a girl's headbend. She's like, oh, my god, just
for fun. And then she's like she's like, he is
my king, and then like in his thing, he's like, Gabby,
You're my queen. And I was like, these people like
(17:36):
I don't I definitely don't have monarchy, could not get
worse I personally in my own like my truth is
that I don't really understand or know what brexit is,
but I want to brexit them away from ever coming
back to the United States. Gabby and Zach stay there,
and but I guess it's too late because now they're
already in Estonia. They're already bringing their stench to Estonia's
(17:58):
excuse me, I mean Zabby. She comes back from the
day and she's like, oh, Zach and I we actually
created our own fragrance and it's called Zabby. Like Zach
and Gabby and the amount of girls who like freaked
out over that and we're like, that's actually my personal
dream date, Like I'm so jealous. I'm like how and
in what world? But also the one part I did
(18:19):
like is when they unleashed Corgis. I was like, Okay,
this actually would be a dream date if I just
hung out with dogs with the guy. Okay, but let
me just say this. So this episode where they go
to London was the episode that made me say to Carolina, like,
we actually have to cover this show again because it's
so it's almost like a bottle episode. It starts with Greer.
It's an entire arc about Greer and Zach and Greer
(18:41):
is a girl who I guess is in her twenties
but she looks like the Royal baby and she starts
out the episode talking NonStop about how important tea is
to her. And they're in London. Yeah, so this reminded
me of like girls in middle school who would have
like a planner with like the Eiffel Tower on it,
and they were like, I'm obsessed with Paris, like I
(19:02):
love Paris And it was like, okay, so have you
ever been there? No? Does it? Are you French? No?
Like what what the fuck does Paris have to do
with you? It's like girls who are like obsessed with
like Europe and it's a girl with Audrey Eppur poster
and you're like, what the fuck does that even say?
What do you like? What does to you? You just
want to be hot and you think that's like hot mysterious,
(19:22):
And let me tell you that's the least hot and
least mysterious as the seen. We can't even talk, that's
how angry. We are so angry and rest Oh no,
I'm glad you said. Oh I'm glad Audrey's dead. I
couldn't be glad er actually so. And honestly Meryl Street too,
(19:43):
I'm like, do we really need another movie like she
did Pills? Okay, wait you mean Marilyn? I was like,
fuck you wish death on Meryl's Street? No? Yeah, I
hope she. Where are Marilyn? And my mom's psychic says,
doesn't want to be bothered anymore? That people are like,
(20:06):
we need biopics about people who are interesting. Anna Nicole Smith, okay, yeah,
give it to us. Louanneelepse also Louianne okay. I um
also sent a Funny Housewives shot to my friend yesterday
(20:29):
because she asked me how my trip was and I
said it was good. Then I said her Louanne going, um,
I've been traveling. I went to prison. But she's from
rehab that trailer for that season. But wait, okay, let
me say this. So that girl Dabby I mean sorry
Greer is like so upset because she loves tea. She
(20:51):
can't family come together. Her and her family come together
over to water and therefore she thinks she deserves the
one on one that week because it's London and London
likes tea. So when she finds out that she didn't
get the one on one, she basically loses her mind.
And I do have to say, it's like we have
(21:11):
to keep in mind because in the next episode, Zach
gets all upset that like a girl is upset she
didn't get a one on one. This is all these
women are living. They've lost their jobs, they've given up
their lives, they've given up their their reputations. They're never
going to be the same, so this is what they
live and breathe. And I understand that it's like this
is survival time kind of was like everyone else is
(21:32):
being so cool about the shopping spree, I would be
really struggling with my facial movements. Yeah. The girls are like,
oh my god, enjoy your moment. And I really understood
Greer falling apart. I thought I would. I literally thought
I would choose a good moment. I'd take a moment.
Yeah she did. She stepped away, and that being set
(21:53):
so like I started out being like, wow, she sucks.
Then I have to say, like when Zach comes down
with the COVID nineteen epi emic and he is no
longer able to attend the group date with Great Greer
and the rest of the girls, But Greer actually has
a pretty good attitude about it. She's like, cool, I'm
actually just gonna get drunk with all these girls in Estonia,
and I actually think that's cool. And they talked to
(22:15):
like some random woman about like the woman was like
just an innocent passer by and they're like, hey, guess what,
we're all dating the same guy. And the woman's like what, oh,
I guess he'd better be like really attractive and amazing.
They're like he is. I was like, no, he's not.
He's fucking disgusting trash. The only interesting thing about him
is that he's related to Putty, and he probably has
(22:36):
a fucking trust fund because Putty was in Family Guy
and has like all these royalties. So that's the only
thing that's interesting about him. And don't you think he's
also so drinking his own kool aid for after Like
he was kind of listen. I definitely wasn't rooting it
for him, but he did seem very sincere and was
honestly very awkward and kind of nerdy. Like he's cheesy.
(22:58):
Cheesy is the best word. Yeah, he looks like he's
Audi sitting for top Gun, like he is trying to
be so swab. So I was. I literally thought of
Tom Cruise. I literally was like, is he trying to
impress Tom Cruise? Why is he doing this? Why is
he doing anything he does? At one point, he goes
on a one on one with I think it's I
don't remember who it was, a lot of the blondes
(23:19):
have been been blending to me. To be quite honest,
there's been multiple girls he's gone on one on ones
with who have like alluded to like I was in
an abusive or semi abusive relationship or like a relationship
where I was taking for granted and Zach keeps saying,
like I relate. I also was dating someone I thought
I knew who they were and I didn't. And it's
(23:39):
I think he's referring to Rachel, in which case zero occurred.
There we actually all watch it, like I know, we
all have like biased She was worried that you were young.
She didn't like hate you with the fucking frying pan.
But also they broke up because he just one day
was like, hey, Rachel, like, I feel like you're acting
like the bacherette right now and you're not really acting
(24:01):
like a real person, like he left the show. It's like,
I just think that it's so weird. It's like we
all saw that happen, and we all know reality TV
is very natural and real and not edited, so it's
like there's nothing we're missing here. So anyway, they go
on the group date and then and then what's this
(24:23):
name the host? Now? The host? Oh, Jesse Palmer, okay,
Son Jesse Palmer makes a huge deal over how this
is the first ever historic virtual rose ceremony. Okay, I
hope there's never another one. Like I don't like, I
don't want historic all the time. I don't want unprecedented. Okay,
(24:46):
historic is great when it's like I'm the first Asian
American actor to win a SAG Award, And that's fine.
I don't need a historic virtual rose ceremony or of
historical virtual snug. As Zach refer to him kissing one
of the girls via zoom, and they were saying snug
instead of snug. They're like that English called like his snug,
(25:07):
should we snug? I was like, this is fucking hell,
Like why am I watching this? So in the whole
point of what I'm trying to say, and I know
I've been speaking for upwards of seventeen minutes straight, but
the point I'm trying to say is Greer is fucking
psyched up for her virtual moment with Zach, and in
her in her perspective, she's like, I did all this healing.
I was really upset, but then I had a great
(25:28):
day with the girls, and I really turn things around
and I'm really learning things. Because I'm twenty four years old,
this is one of the most interesting things that ever
happened to me. And my family loves tea, and she
also says, I have a tea tattooed on my wrist.
And shows what looks like the Pete's coffee logo. I'm like, okay,
whatever did you did you dirty? She goes, I love
tea so much. I got a tattoo of it, and
(25:50):
it's like it literally looks like the coffee like button
on an espresso machine. I was like, could someone that
have done yet better? Imagine me Joe doing that when Meanwhile,
when I was twenty years old, I got a tattoo
of a unicorn constellation because I loved unicorn so much,
but it looked like a penis, so I had to
get it covered up three times until it looked like
something that's remotely acceptable in the human race. So anyway,
(26:17):
Greer goes into her date and she's like, oh, how's
having COVID been? And he's like acting like it's some
fucking heroic battle he's dealing with. And then he's like
and then she says, I really feel for you when
it sucks yet COVID when you have something important going on.
I work in sales and I got COVID towards the
end of a quarter and it was really hard. And
he's like, yeah, so I'm gonna have to correct you there.
(26:47):
This is my love life. It really can't be compared
to a sales corridor. I just want to make a
living for yourself. I want to shove him out a window.
(27:08):
But so, this is the thing. How did she not
come out of that interaction and immediately talk shit like
I would be like and listen. Of course, I've been
in relationships where I've been blinded. I didn't see what
was right in front of me. But like, in no
world would I not immediately talk shit to someone about that, Like,
can you fucking believe that? He was like, um, it
really can't be compared. It's my love life. And by
(27:29):
the way, I'm a man who's twenty four or however
years old, like you still have actually twenty five more
years to have children, So fuck you. That's the other thing.
I'm like, this isn't like serious for you at all.
It would be one thing if it was Claire when
she was like the oldest quote unquote bachelor reight at
age thirty five or something, and it's like, okay, so
(27:51):
she has around five years left to have children. I
can see where she thinks her goals are maybe more
close to her or more important than her career goals.
Her romance goals, but this fucking little boy saying that
his love life is more important than making a living.
(28:12):
It actually reminded me of the Joe Latrulio character and
burning love when he's like, dude, I'm only from my
family right now. Like it's like, it's just so incomprehensible. Well,
he also did that with God. I want to say.
Her name was Christina, the girl who had her daughter
blakely to a one on one? Are there on one
(28:33):
on one? She really deals she has a daughter, And
he says in the most weird, condescending, overly emotional I
had PTFC from Pilot Pete. He's like, I have to
be honest with you. And I've always wanted to be
a dad. I've always been clear about that, but to
be honest with you. Hearing this, I'm like, are the
producers speaking into your earpiece? And she looks like she's
(28:56):
about to cry. Obviously someone is basically telling her, like,
you're not viable because you had a child you love
so much, but that means that you're like dating life
is going to be compromised forever. He's like, yeah, I
gotta be honest with you. I was overwhelmed. That's overwhelming,
and I've decided to give you this rose. You're like,
fuck you. I finally get up and be like, I
(29:18):
am the words of you know, another blonde. I'm not
gonna beg for you. I'm not gonna beg for you.
I also have to say that's also like Burning Love.
By the way, Burning Love is a parody of The Bachelor.
That's one of the best things ever made it. But
the June Diane Raphael season where she plays the bachelrette, Oh,
that's the same season. So Joe Literulio tells her I
(29:40):
have a son, and she's like, oh, okay, that's interesting.
I kind of wanted to have a real kid first,
like talking about it, like that's basically what Zach said
and it's so fucked up in insane um, so whatever.
So he like keeps Greer and then the next episode,
speaking of Tea, he goes on a little fucking t
date with Jesse and Jesse's like, so Greer has COVID now,
(30:03):
and he's like, okay, well give her my best anyway.
And I'm like, um, you're killing you worried you're killing people,
and aren't you worried about her? Love life like that
is at risk like yours was, and it's basically the
next episode is kind of the same thing, where it's
like all about like this girl getting upset that you
didn't get a one on one, and then he acts
(30:26):
like this is the thing. It's like he acts like
the fucking bigger and better person, Like he's like, wow,
so you cared that much about a one on one
all this, and so it just you know, the male
contestants are boring on a bachelorette, but least you'll get
like messy with a bachelorette. With the men, they're so
(30:47):
like sanitized and weird and like sterile and like thank
you for telling me that you know, at least about
chelorette like cries, and I was like, I'm just like overwhelmed,
Like I just need more of that kind of energy
from the men. Well, they're just more interesting too, Like
think about think about what Gabby and Rachel brought to
the table in terms of like their background and their
(31:08):
values and like their thoughts. Well, to be honest, yeah,
by the way, I love Gabby so much and I
follow her on Instagram, but I'm afraid I have this
fear recently where like, I'm afraid to google how old
she is because I'm scared she's much younger than me
and it will make me feel bad about my life.
So that's just a personal thing for me. And if
(31:30):
you think you're going through something, do not compare it
to my fear. Yeah, so this man is fucking trash.
I cannot I have nothing, Honestly, I have nothing else
to say, Like, the other episode was so boring and
he's not worth covering. It's it's it's more just his
relationship to um women alone and his like dynamic with them.
(31:55):
To me honestly, watching it, it speaks to how I
think some people live their lives. And I'm not making
a blanket statement. I mean people who think some of
those dates are cute or interesting or there's just there's
a shallowness to it where I'm like, oh, this girl
is just acting like how she thinks girls should act,
(32:17):
like the girl who was like, yeah, I mean it's
kind of scary how stable you are. He's like scary.
Why do you say that? Like, because it didn't really
exactly grow up in a like loving home, you know,
And I just think that we deserve more interesting people. Well,
this is the thing too. He also like, by the way,
(32:38):
again on the Zoom dates, someone was like, oh, it's
oh Breer. She's like, oh, I Like, I'm glad I
can't see myself on the zoom screen because I always
get distracted and stare at myself. Normal thing. I've had
so many jobs over zoom and the amount of people
who've said that it's hard not to look at yourself
in the zoom window, like that's being a human being.
And he's like, Okay, well it's okay if you look
(32:59):
like everyone once in a while, but I hope you're
not looking the whole time. Oh my gosh, fuck up,
Like I hate you. You have prosted tips and I
hate you by the way they fast forward or they
just just like a Ryan Carbrera kind of look. He
wishes he could even be as interesting. Has been in
a music video with Person Cavalary, Like at least Ryan
Cabrera had that Ryan Cabrera was a really bad boyfriend
(33:22):
to Ashley Simpson. But why because have you ever watched
like her reality show a little bit? I mean he
just was like it was it's if you watched the episodes.
I forget what her show was called, but she had
that reality show and he was on it because he
was her boyfriend, and you can just tell that he's
like jealous of her success and like intimidated by her,
(33:44):
and he's just like a loser, dud boyfriend who's just
like okay. Like she's like, can I play you my
new song? And he's like, um, yeah, I mean it's
kind of like more pop than I'm used to. Like,
he just like sucks and you're like, oh, he's a dud.
And let me say this. They do a fast forward
for the rest of the season and they're showing the
(34:05):
Fantasy Suites episode. Oh well, well, what did you guess?
Zach says he's not even gonna have sex at the
Fantasy Suits. He's like, so, I know this is like
the sex episode, but I just want to like set
some boundaries up front. It's like, take your boundaries and
walk them out the door to your uncle fucking PuTTY's house.
(34:25):
Can you imagine if a guy said that to you
the week you thought you were gonna have sex with him,
I would be like, so you're bad in bed just
say that. So, Devin, I know this is sex week
to you, but for me personally, I want to set
some boundaries up front. I would have said, Okay, I'm
gonna get out of your car now. Thank you have
a good life, and that man was Ted Bunny, and
that's would saved my life. No, wait, it's just like
(34:51):
fucked up. And let me tell you this. There's other
options you have at your disposal. If you are one
of the bachelorettes, if you are the woman who ended
up with Zach, listen to us. This is a sign
telling you to leave. I don't think he's gonna end
up with anyone. Oh, I think he is. I think
it's gonna be a thing where he like does propose
to someone and then, like before even the final Rows
(35:14):
or reunion episode, they like have already broken up and
she just wants to be an influencer. Oh, I think
he's gonna end up with someone. You're like, turn your
zoom screen over and he's sitting next to you for someone.
He's gonna be pretty happy in the end. I think
everything's gonna be just as it should be. Well, I
(35:37):
can't wait to find out who he does end up with.
I'm sure they're gonna be nameless blonde or Gabby or Zabby.
But until then, I love you, Devin, love you. Carol's
(36:00):
true true mans, it's a romantic love me, baby, don't
leave me hanging. I want true
Hello, and welcome to True Romance. This is Carolina Barlow
and this is Devin Leary. We've avoided it for long enough.
Let me let me say one thing before the subject,
because I actually just thought of this. What So I
actually went to an educational event this week and I'm listening.
I'm suspect and I'm listening. So I swent Devin goes
(00:40):
into a cult. By the way, it's like, I'm you
know what, Yeah, my breakup was hard. I did meet
a guy. We played volleyball together at two am and
he had me lick a puddle. Um, yeah, so I've
lost thing. Accounts is changing your life and that's why
I'm wearing this beautiful golden sash. So the truth is,
(01:02):
I don't. It's never occurred to me to look into
like events Like It's interesting because a friend of mine
was offering breakup advice and was like, you know, like
focus on, like what are your hobbies, And for me personally,
it's blank there watching TV and reading, which I think
(01:22):
are good hobbies, but it's like there's nothing that I
like do that's like enriching. It's also like not working.
My hot work is going into the kitchen at various hours.
Snacking at four pm is my hobby. Yeah, so getting
a second cup of copy at eleven am is my hobby. Like,
those are things I like that I do for pleasure.
(01:42):
So friend of the pod, Haley Carter's sister, Lindsay Carter,
invited me to go see this author speak. You've referenced
her on the podcast. I've referenced a on the podcast.
It's Nedra Glover clob Oh my god, I cannot believe you. Really,
I've grown apart if you didn't immediately tell me about this.
(02:02):
You know, you know how I feel about Nidra. Well,
it just kind of happened so fast that I was
invited and I went and and I like didn't realize
this is like maybe a red flag thing to say
to someone you're like not that close with. But like
Lindsay and I are on our way there, and I
was like, oh my god, I hope she has a
question answers, because I have a question I really want
to ask. God. Is scared read to hear from someone
(02:23):
who went to an event with Can you imagine can
you imagine going to an event with your partner that's
a question and answer and hearing like your boyfriend say like, oh,
I hope there's a question and answer, because I am
getting up on that Mic. I would be like, I'm
gonna have to put you down like a little sick dog. Well,
so we get there and there is a bucket and
there are index cards and there are sharpies, so like,
(02:45):
how much ink do these things have? You better believe it?
So I wrote a question the way I beat up
a few people. I have a few assaults. An elderly
woman out of the way. He was asking why you
connect with her daughter? Side note before we get back
to this, but like, have you did you notice watching
The Bachelor this week that there was the commercial that
(03:07):
was like, do you have a senior or elderly relative
looking for love? Submit them to the Bachelor? How many years?
How many years have we seen that ad? Wait, I've
never seen that ad about elderly Yes, they do it
every year, Devin, this season? Why yes? This is maybe
the third fourth season. It says elders looking for love?
Question market. There's like a field behind them, as if
(03:30):
like all old people work on farms, and it's like
a why for the Bachelor. I think that they are
encouraging old people to continue to watch The Bachelor, and
you know Tricia and Ryan season, those people are like
what eighty now people, So I think we we're around
(03:50):
when Tricia was still a name baby's got. So I
think that they're somehow hoping to pull in that audience
by saying something, even though all we really want to
do is see everyone go, you know, to cobble eventually
and m break up on the beach. I think that
(04:10):
they're trying to hook some older audience still by dangling
this little Carol. But I'm sorry, I thank you for
feeling that because I forgot the word. I know, I'm
I know you all, y'all golden age people are gonna
say that I'm naive and oh, little old Devin thinks
she knows anything about life. But I'm sorry. If you're
(04:30):
elderly and you see that ad and you submit to
be on the Bachelor, thinking like you're going to get
to date. Grocery store, Joe, you need to go be
staying in a home now, it's time you need it
means you need. You don't need grocery store, Joel. You
need a nurse. You need something that you can press
in case of an emergency. That's that's what I'm gonna say.
(04:52):
But the point being, guh, I did beat up some
elderly people to ask my question. And by the way,
Nedra is so fucking stunning in person, like I was
blown away they asked my question. Did she answered my question?
So I just want to share it because I just
thought it was I was gonna say, you have to
share it, like in my opinion, it was honestly a
really good question that most people would relate to. So anyway,
(05:16):
my question was, and yes, to do when I've talked
to Taylor Swift lyric? What lyric would you follow up with? Hey,
it's like I've chosen to like already remove from my mind.
How insane the text messages I've sent to my expert
in arts, like, you know, like not about Taylor Swift,
because there's been so many other fucking crazy ones like
(05:36):
I forgot Taylor Swift. I don't even want to tell.
I don't even want to say, like you don't have
something I said, you don't have to You're like, oh,
I got okay, stop stop stop, No, you don't and
you don't have to say that to anyway, And you
can keep that to your little We'll never forget when
I blocked a guy in New York on Instagram because
I didn't want myself to reach out to him anymore.
And this was Instagram and it's like first edition, and
(06:00):
somehow the only way I was able to message him
was take a screenshot a they note and send it
to him via Instagram, Like somehow that was the only
thing that worked. And I did that. So I did that.
I did. I grasped at straws and then I said
to friend of the pod Little Frecks, I'm a Carol.
This is something I did. Is it? How bad is it?
And she said, what do you want me to say?
(06:21):
Like what what do you want? What do you want
to say? It's fine that you basically like he's going
to look at that and spell out like, oh, she
really didn't want to reach out to me, so she
probably blocked me. And then she sent me this note
saying that she still really wants to hang out with me,
and that's really sad. The mixed messages, that's the thing
is like I think that, like, yes, it's easy to
(06:45):
to accuse the other party, meaning the person who did
the breaking up. It's easy to accuse them of like
mixed messages. But it's like, then again, how many times
have I said like, um, it's really not for me
to communicate with you, so like I need to stop,
and then been like, hey, what's up? Happy Saturday? You
know I I this is what I do. At least,
(07:06):
I regress an age rapidly, like I become a the
youngest version of myself, where it's literally a baby needs bottle.
Like I'm like, I just in your T shirt. I
h I just wanted to hug me. I want to
wake up in your chest. And then I become Glenn Doyle.
(07:27):
But it's not me, you know. It's like then I'm
like me, yeah, Like okay, whatever I said yesterday about
your perfect never mind. I'm taking care of me and
boundaries need to be set. And then they say one
thing and I'm like, okay, I'm confused. What are you
trying to say? Wait one more text? This is the
last thing I'll say. What are you trying to say? Um?
(07:49):
What question? Mark? Last thing I'll say is do you
want to talk later? Ye? Sorry? Where are you right now? Okay?
So my question was how do you draw a line
between boundaries? I mean memorizing it word for word, by
the way, you're it by the way, like you're pitching
like a great movie idea. You're like, I'm like clicking. Okay,
(08:14):
a room full of people heard it, and guess what
I heard resound through the room. Ah Okay. So, not
to mention, the moderator, Charlomagne, the God controversial figure, did
say he thought it was a really good question. Okay.
So the question was, how do you draw a line
between boundaries and selfishness when it comes to responding to
(08:36):
text messages and phone calls from people? God, is very,
very very good question, because this is something I have
to say. I personally do not like to text about
like real things. I only like to text about memes,
something funny, someone sending me photos of myself, like screenshots
(09:00):
of some people's Instagram stories. Yes, talking shit, oh, talking shit,
but even even talking shit, then I have to move
to voice them all because you're like, you're like, all right,
it's too long to text. But like, basically, this is
what happened. I like to verifize why this person is
so traumatic, Like I don't I can't even put enough
emojis to this. So for me, for places like I
(09:22):
prefer a phone call and even that sometimes it's like, Okay,
I'm watching the housewives, Like I don't necessarily have time
for a phone call right now. So it's just hard
because I know when I went through the breakup, a
lot of people who cared about me, I started to
get the how are you? Text? The how are you doing?
And I don't like to text. There's nothing wrong with that.
Some people like that, but I don't like to text
(09:43):
how I'm doing. It's like I can't even get well,
maybe this is a me problem. It's like did you
see that meme that's been going around of Vicky from
Real house sives of OC that It's like someone's like,
how are you? And she's like, I, my life is
falling apart and my romance has broken my heart and
nothing's getting better and there's no hope for me. Like
I'm like, I guess maybe I could just say I'm
fine when people ask how I'm doing, But I'm like, oh,
(10:05):
how am I doing? As if that's a simple question.
So I'm just like I can't even I guess I
see how are you doing? And I think like, oh,
where do I even begin how I'm doing? Like what
do you want to know this morning was good. Yeah,
it's good for about five minutes and then guess what happened? No,
I don't know, so like I guess. For me, it's
like I don't like to respond to that. And then
also like sometimes it's like, Okay, I'm watching the Real Housewives.
(10:28):
A family member calls, Yes, I could pause the Real Housewives.
A good friend calls that being said like I'm really
enjoying this moment of like watching something in self care. Okay.
So Nedra's answer was she keeps her phone on do
not disturb at all times, and she'll call you back
when she's ready. She will call you back when she's ready.
(10:48):
She also used because then, um, well okay, she said,
sometimes she'll respond. If she ever responds right away, it's
to say this is the time I'm available, Like I
might be able tomorrow at five fifteen. It's not like
and unless it's like someone reaching out directly saying there's
an emergency, it's not urgent. And she also brought up
(11:08):
that like this is a product of our time that
we're living in, like it used to be that. She
gave the example like when she was a kid, when
she wanted to get in touch with her mom while
her mom was at work, it was nearly impossible, like
she would pay and she would ask for a time
and whatever. So now it's like, you can call someone
at work in two seconds, you can text someone at work,
you can take someone away from what they're doing at
(11:29):
any moment, and it creates like this really unfair dynamic
where we feel like we owe someone who responds at
all times and we don't. She also used an example
because Charlemagne then turned it into like, what about it
if it's like your family member, like, then it's a
little harder to set those kind of boundaries. And she said,
my children don't think I should be here right now.
When I left the house, they said, it's not fair.
(11:50):
I don't want you to go. I want you to
stay home with me. That's fine that they want that,
But I'm going to work because I need to. Like,
it's like, that's fine if somebody wants to be speaking
to me, it doesn't mean I need to be speaking
to them. So I just thought that was really helpful.
I love that so much and reminds me one of
the best piece of pieces of advice I ever got.
I was in New York and this crazy person really
(12:12):
wanted to talk to me, this crazy girl. And it
was this crazy girl. She was dressed, she had a
butterfly top on and she had picked it out and
was angry. No, it was this other angry person who
was mad at me for some confusing reason I don't
even remember the details of, but I remember talking to
my friend being like, I don't want to talk to her,
(12:34):
and this woman said, you know, she's there to apologize, say,
except I accept your apology, I don't really want to
talk about this. And I said, but what if she
gets upset? And she said to me in response, and
this is so basic, but I still repeat it ten
years later. She said, well, not everyone gets what they
want in this life. And I'm like, oh my god,
this female urge to constantly make sure that you are
(12:56):
getting what you want, even if you is someone random,
and I have to you know, I really struggle with
the fact that, like consequences what happened, I'm not in
charge of making sure the entire world is happy, and
especially when it comes to here, Glennon comes out, especially
(13:16):
when it comes to my own inner piece, my own time,
and I don't have to give it all away to
people who I find overwhelming or none like unkind if
that's harmful to me, not just because they want to,
I know, And I think it's like a lot easier
said than done. Yeah, but really I think And also
(13:38):
she oh, this was another really helpful. I mean I
could talk all night about what she said the whole,
for the whole, like, Okay, I was looking of her
book was available February twenty eighth, and I know that
because I checked literally five times on the Apple Bookstore
because Boundaries No More helped me so much. That's not true.
(14:00):
I for the most part, unless someone asks me for help,
I do not offer it. Meaning that I mean, if
I'm at work and you know, I'm on a production
right now and it's you know, the schedule is crazy,
and I'll ask people like what can I help with today? Etc.
But if someone is, you know, talking to me, I
can so easily get into therapist mode and I don't
(14:23):
have to. And I think what Nedra has helped me
most with is really being okay with someone else's feelings
being messy. Yeah, And it's also the thing that she's
the other thing she said that was helpful was like,
you still have to show up for the relationships in
(14:44):
the capacity you're expected to. Like she was like, if
you're a boss and you don't like your employee, you
still have to give them their paycheck, Like what, you
still have to do your job and so like if
your grandparent calls you, like you still have to call
them back. You just don't have to do it right
away or in a way that's inconvenient to you or
in interferes with like how you need to live your life.
(15:04):
That's healthy for you, right, And she also did talk
about like, you know, it's like it's not helpful to
therapize people who don't want it. It's like helpful. I
don't have a job. I don't have a job at
all anywhere where I'm a therapist. I'm a daughter, sister,
and friend and employee. Like that's and like collaborator, those
(15:25):
are the wrong. I've been wrong many times, the wrong
about my whole life, have been wrong about other people's lives.
Why can't I accept that people are the best authority
on their lives. For the most part, I've never been wrong,
but I was wrong once and that I who should
(15:47):
be president during the twenty twenty election. I know in retrospect.
I was I was wrong because I've read about this
Joe Biden and his son, and I can't believe I
posted as many Instagram stories as I did that. Yet
that is what I regret. I regret that speaking of
men who have no business being in charge. Yeah, we're
(16:07):
gonna take a quick break and then we're gonna get
back to the Bachelor, and we're back with maybe my
least favor Bachelor ever. Pilot. Pete was up there, but
(16:28):
Zach may have defeated him. Zach makes me so fucking angry,
Like there are so many moments in the show where
it's incomprehensible to me that the girls don't like come
from the interaction with him and then immediately find each
other and be like can I talk to you for
a second, Like what the fuck is wrong with that guy?
Like how are not season? It's so confusing, Like they're yeah,
(16:53):
it would be the best season if they like turned
against him, and we're like, wait a second, he's not
even hot, first of all. Second of all sucks. He's
not interesting, he's not funny. He makes the worst jokes.
He makes like dad jokes, if like all dads were
the most boring person alive. That's why part of me
thinks him and Gabby do deserve each other because she's
so atypical in such a girl way. On their London
(17:15):
date during high tea, she put a little She's like,
can I put this on you? And it's a girl's veil,
like a girl's headbend. She's like, oh, my god, just
for fun. And then she's like she's like, he is
my king, and then like in his thing, he's like, Gabby,
You're my queen. And I was like, these people like
(17:36):
I don't I definitely don't have monarchy, could not get
worse I personally in my own like my truth is
that I don't really understand or know what brexit is,
but I want to brexit them away from ever coming
back to the United States. Gabby and Zach stay there,
and but I guess it's too late because now they're
already in Estonia. They're already bringing their stench to Estonia's
(17:58):
excuse me, I mean Zabby. She comes back from the
day and she's like, oh, Zach and I we actually
created our own fragrance and it's called Zabby. Like Zach
and Gabby and the amount of girls who like freaked
out over that and we're like, that's actually my personal
dream date, Like I'm so jealous. I'm like how and
in what world? But also the one part I did
(18:19):
like is when they unleashed Corgis. I was like, Okay,
this actually would be a dream date if I just
hung out with dogs with the guy. Okay, but let
me just say this. So this episode where they go
to London was the episode that made me say to Carolina, like,
we actually have to cover this show again because it's
so it's almost like a bottle episode. It starts with Greer.
It's an entire arc about Greer and Zach and Greer
(18:41):
is a girl who I guess is in her twenties
but she looks like the Royal baby and she starts
out the episode talking NonStop about how important tea is
to her. And they're in London. Yeah, so this reminded
me of like girls in middle school who would have
like a planner with like the Eiffel Tower on it,
and they were like, I'm obsessed with Paris, like I
(19:02):
love Paris And it was like, okay, so have you
ever been there? No? Does it? Are you French? No?
Like what what the fuck does Paris have to do
with you? It's like girls who are like obsessed with
like Europe and it's a girl with Audrey Eppur poster
and you're like, what the fuck does that even say?
What do you like? What does to you? You just
want to be hot and you think that's like hot mysterious,
(19:22):
And let me tell you that's the least hot and
least mysterious as the seen. We can't even talk, that's
how angry. We are so angry and rest Oh no,
I'm glad you said. Oh I'm glad Audrey's dead. I
couldn't be glad er actually so. And honestly Meryl Street too,
(19:43):
I'm like, do we really need another movie like she
did Pills? Okay, wait you mean Marilyn? I was like,
fuck you wish death on Meryl's Street? No? Yeah, I
hope she. Where are Marilyn? And my mom's psychic says,
doesn't want to be bothered anymore? That people are like,
(20:06):
we need biopics about people who are interesting. Anna Nicole Smith, okay, yeah,
give it to us. Louanneelepse also Louianne okay. I um
also sent a Funny Housewives shot to my friend yesterday
(20:29):
because she asked me how my trip was and I
said it was good. Then I said her Louanne going, um,
I've been traveling. I went to prison. But she's from
rehab that trailer for that season. But wait, okay, let
me say this. So that girl Dabby I mean sorry
Greer is like so upset because she loves tea. She
(20:51):
can't family come together. Her and her family come together
over to water and therefore she thinks she deserves the
one on one that week because it's London and London
likes tea. So when she finds out that she didn't
get the one on one, she basically loses her mind.
And I do have to say, it's like we have
(21:11):
to keep in mind because in the next episode, Zach
gets all upset that like a girl is upset she
didn't get a one on one. This is all these
women are living. They've lost their jobs, they've given up
their lives, they've given up their their reputations. They're never
going to be the same, so this is what they
live and breathe. And I understand that it's like this
is survival time kind of was like everyone else is
(21:32):
being so cool about the shopping spree, I would be
really struggling with my facial movements. Yeah. The girls are like,
oh my god, enjoy your moment. And I really understood
Greer falling apart. I thought I would. I literally thought
I would choose a good moment. I'd take a moment.
Yeah she did. She stepped away, and that being set
(21:53):
so like I started out being like, wow, she sucks.
Then I have to say, like when Zach comes down
with the COVID nineteen epi emic and he is no
longer able to attend the group date with Great Greer
and the rest of the girls, But Greer actually has
a pretty good attitude about it. She's like, cool, I'm
actually just gonna get drunk with all these girls in Estonia,
and I actually think that's cool. And they talked to
(22:15):
like some random woman about like the woman was like
just an innocent passer by and they're like, hey, guess what,
we're all dating the same guy. And the woman's like what, oh,
I guess he'd better be like really attractive and amazing.
They're like he is. I was like, no, he's not.
He's fucking disgusting trash. The only interesting thing about him
is that he's related to Putty, and he probably has
(22:36):
a fucking trust fund because Putty was in Family Guy
and has like all these royalties. So that's the only
thing that's interesting about him. And don't you think he's
also so drinking his own kool aid for after Like
he was kind of listen. I definitely wasn't rooting it
for him, but he did seem very sincere and was
honestly very awkward and kind of nerdy. Like he's cheesy.
(22:58):
Cheesy is the best word. Yeah, he looks like he's
Audi sitting for top Gun, like he is trying to
be so swab. So I was. I literally thought of
Tom Cruise. I literally was like, is he trying to
impress Tom Cruise? Why is he doing this? Why is
he doing anything he does? At one point, he goes
on a one on one with I think it's I
don't remember who it was, a lot of the blondes
(23:19):
have been been blending to me. To be quite honest,
there's been multiple girls he's gone on one on ones
with who have like alluded to like I was in
an abusive or semi abusive relationship or like a relationship
where I was taking for granted and Zach keeps saying,
like I relate. I also was dating someone I thought
I knew who they were and I didn't. And it's
(23:39):
I think he's referring to Rachel, in which case zero occurred.
There we actually all watch it, like I know, we
all have like biased She was worried that you were young.
She didn't like hate you with the fucking frying pan.
But also they broke up because he just one day
was like, hey, Rachel, like, I feel like you're acting
like the bacherette right now and you're not really acting
(24:01):
like a real person, like he left the show. It's like,
I just think that it's so weird. It's like we
all saw that happen, and we all know reality TV
is very natural and real and not edited, so it's
like there's nothing we're missing here. So anyway, they go
on the group date and then and then what's this
(24:23):
name the host? Now? The host? Oh, Jesse Palmer, okay,
Son Jesse Palmer makes a huge deal over how this
is the first ever historic virtual rose ceremony. Okay, I
hope there's never another one. Like I don't like, I
don't want historic all the time. I don't want unprecedented. Okay,
(24:46):
historic is great when it's like I'm the first Asian
American actor to win a SAG Award, And that's fine.
I don't need a historic virtual rose ceremony or of
historical virtual snug. As Zach refer to him kissing one
of the girls via zoom, and they were saying snug
instead of snug. They're like that English called like his snug,
(25:07):
should we snug? I was like, this is fucking hell,
Like why am I watching this? So in the whole
point of what I'm trying to say, and I know
I've been speaking for upwards of seventeen minutes straight, but
the point I'm trying to say is Greer is fucking
psyched up for her virtual moment with Zach, and in
her in her perspective, she's like, I did all this healing.
I was really upset, but then I had a great
(25:28):
day with the girls, and I really turn things around
and I'm really learning things. Because I'm twenty four years old,
this is one of the most interesting things that ever
happened to me. And my family loves tea, and she
also says, I have a tea tattooed on my wrist.
And shows what looks like the Pete's coffee logo. I'm like, okay,
whatever did you did you dirty? She goes, I love
tea so much. I got a tattoo of it, and
(25:50):
it's like it literally looks like the coffee like button
on an espresso machine. I was like, could someone that
have done yet better? Imagine me Joe doing that when Meanwhile,
when I was twenty years old, I got a tattoo
of a unicorn constellation because I loved unicorn so much,
but it looked like a penis, so I had to
get it covered up three times until it looked like
something that's remotely acceptable in the human race. So anyway,
(26:17):
Greer goes into her date and she's like, oh, how's
having COVID been? And he's like acting like it's some
fucking heroic battle he's dealing with. And then he's like
and then she says, I really feel for you when
it sucks yet COVID when you have something important going on.
I work in sales and I got COVID towards the
end of a quarter and it was really hard. And
he's like, yeah, so I'm gonna have to correct you there.
(26:47):
This is my love life. It really can't be compared
to a sales corridor. I just want to make a
living for yourself. I want to shove him out a window.
(27:08):
But so, this is the thing. How did she not
come out of that interaction and immediately talk shit like
I would be like and listen. Of course, I've been
in relationships where I've been blinded. I didn't see what
was right in front of me. But like, in no
world would I not immediately talk shit to someone about that, Like,
can you fucking believe that? He was like, um, it
really can't be compared. It's my love life. And by
(27:29):
the way, I'm a man who's twenty four or however
years old, like you still have actually twenty five more
years to have children, So fuck you. That's the other thing.
I'm like, this isn't like serious for you at all.
It would be one thing if it was Claire when
she was like the oldest quote unquote bachelor reight at
age thirty five or something, and it's like, okay, so
(27:51):
she has around five years left to have children. I
can see where she thinks her goals are maybe more
close to her or more important than her career goals.
Her romance goals, but this fucking little boy saying that
his love life is more important than making a living.
(28:12):
It actually reminded me of the Joe Latrulio character and
burning love when he's like, dude, I'm only from my
family right now. Like it's like, it's just so incomprehensible. Well,
he also did that with God. I want to say.
Her name was Christina, the girl who had her daughter
blakely to a one on one? Are there on one
(28:33):
on one? She really deals she has a daughter, And
he says in the most weird, condescending, overly emotional I
had PTFC from Pilot Pete. He's like, I have to
be honest with you. And I've always wanted to be
a dad. I've always been clear about that, but to
be honest with you. Hearing this, I'm like, are the
producers speaking into your earpiece? And she looks like she's
(28:56):
about to cry. Obviously someone is basically telling her, like,
you're not viable because you had a child you love
so much, but that means that you're like dating life
is going to be compromised forever. He's like, yeah, I
gotta be honest with you. I was overwhelmed. That's overwhelming,
and I've decided to give you this rose. You're like,
fuck you. I finally get up and be like, I
(29:18):
am the words of you know, another blonde. I'm not
gonna beg for you. I'm not gonna beg for you.
I also have to say that's also like Burning Love.
By the way, Burning Love is a parody of The Bachelor.
That's one of the best things ever made it. But
the June Diane Raphael season where she plays the bachelrette, Oh,
that's the same season. So Joe Literulio tells her I
(29:40):
have a son, and she's like, oh, okay, that's interesting.
I kind of wanted to have a real kid first,
like talking about it, like that's basically what Zach said
and it's so fucked up in insane um, so whatever.
So he like keeps Greer and then the next episode,
speaking of Tea, he goes on a little fucking t
date with Jesse and Jesse's like, so Greer has COVID now,
(30:03):
and he's like, okay, well give her my best anyway.
And I'm like, um, you're killing you worried you're killing people,
and aren't you worried about her? Love life like that
is at risk like yours was, and it's basically the
next episode is kind of the same thing, where it's
like all about like this girl getting upset that you
didn't get a one on one, and then he acts
(30:26):
like this is the thing. It's like he acts like
the fucking bigger and better person, Like he's like, wow,
so you cared that much about a one on one
all this, and so it just you know, the male
contestants are boring on a bachelorette, but least you'll get
like messy with a bachelorette. With the men, they're so
(30:47):
like sanitized and weird and like sterile and like thank
you for telling me that you know, at least about
chelorette like cries, and I was like, I'm just like overwhelmed,
Like I just need more of that kind of energy
from the men. Well, they're just more interesting too, Like
think about think about what Gabby and Rachel brought to
the table in terms of like their background and their
(31:08):
values and like their thoughts. Well, to be honest, yeah,
by the way, I love Gabby so much and I
follow her on Instagram, but I'm afraid I have this
fear recently where like, I'm afraid to google how old
she is because I'm scared she's much younger than me
and it will make me feel bad about my life.
So that's just a personal thing for me. And if
(31:30):
you think you're going through something, do not compare it
to my fear. Yeah, so this man is fucking trash.
I cannot I have nothing, Honestly, I have nothing else
to say, Like, the other episode was so boring and
he's not worth covering. It's it's it's more just his
relationship to um women alone and his like dynamic with them.
(31:55):
To me honestly, watching it, it speaks to how I
think some people live their lives. And I'm not making
a blanket statement. I mean people who think some of
those dates are cute or interesting or there's just there's
a shallowness to it where I'm like, oh, this girl
is just acting like how she thinks girls should act,
(32:17):
like the girl who was like, yeah, I mean it's
kind of scary how stable you are. He's like scary.
Why do you say that? Like, because it didn't really
exactly grow up in a like loving home, you know,
And I just think that we deserve more interesting people. Well,
this is the thing too. He also like, by the way,
(32:38):
again on the Zoom dates, someone was like, oh, it's
oh Breer. She's like, oh, I Like, I'm glad I
can't see myself on the zoom screen because I always
get distracted and stare at myself. Normal thing. I've had
so many jobs over zoom and the amount of people
who've said that it's hard not to look at yourself
in the zoom window, like that's being a human being.
And he's like, Okay, well it's okay if you look
(32:59):
like everyone once in a while, but I hope you're
not looking the whole time. Oh my gosh, fuck up,
Like I hate you. You have prosted tips and I
hate you by the way they fast forward or they
just just like a Ryan Carbrera kind of look. He
wishes he could even be as interesting. Has been in
a music video with Person Cavalary, Like at least Ryan
Cabrera had that Ryan Cabrera was a really bad boyfriend
(33:22):
to Ashley Simpson. But why because have you ever watched
like her reality show a little bit? I mean he
just was like it was it's if you watched the episodes.
I forget what her show was called, but she had
that reality show and he was on it because he
was her boyfriend, and you can just tell that he's
like jealous of her success and like intimidated by her,
(33:44):
and he's just like a loser, dud boyfriend who's just
like okay. Like she's like, can I play you my
new song? And he's like, um, yeah, I mean it's
kind of like more pop than I'm used to. Like,
he just like sucks and you're like, oh, he's a dud.
And let me say this. They do a fast forward
for the rest of the season and they're showing the
(34:05):
Fantasy Suites episode. Oh well, well, what did you guess?
Zach says he's not even gonna have sex at the
Fantasy Suits. He's like, so, I know this is like
the sex episode, but I just want to like set
some boundaries up front. It's like, take your boundaries and
walk them out the door to your uncle fucking PuTTY's house.
(34:25):
Can you imagine if a guy said that to you
the week you thought you were gonna have sex with him,
I would be like, so you're bad in bed just
say that. So, Devin, I know this is sex week
to you, but for me personally, I want to set
some boundaries up front. I would have said, Okay, I'm
gonna get out of your car now. Thank you have
a good life, and that man was Ted Bunny, and
that's would saved my life. No, wait, it's just like
(34:51):
fucked up. And let me tell you this. There's other
options you have at your disposal. If you are one
of the bachelorettes, if you are the woman who ended
up with Zach, listen to us. This is a sign
telling you to leave. I don't think he's gonna end
up with anyone. Oh, I think he is. I think
it's gonna be a thing where he like does propose
to someone and then, like before even the final Rows
(35:14):
or reunion episode, they like have already broken up and
she just wants to be an influencer. Oh, I think
he's gonna end up with someone. You're like, turn your
zoom screen over and he's sitting next to you for someone.
He's gonna be pretty happy in the end. I think
everything's gonna be just as it should be. Well, I
(35:37):
can't wait to find out who he does end up with.
I'm sure they're gonna be nameless blonde or Gabby or Zabby.
But until then, I love you, Devin, love you. Carol's
(36:00):
true true mans, it's a romantic love me, baby, don't
leave me hanging. I want true
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