April 6, 2023 • 49 mins
Devin and Carolina brainstorm new catchphrases before engaging in a culturally significant discourse about gender and career dynamics in partnerships which of course veers right into the new season of Love Is Blind! Devin tells Carolina everything that’s happened so far in Seattle - the good, the bad and the Irina.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hello, Welcome to True Romance. And let me say this.
One thing about depression is that one thing about depression
is that's the show Introe for today. Hello, welcome to
True Romance. And let me say this. Sometimes you sometimes
you think all day, how can I do anything besides
watch Summerhouse on a laptop and bed sideways, And you're like,
(00:37):
I have to record a podcast, And then what do
you do? You're a professional, so what do you do?
You make yourself a ball of pasta. You put chicken
on top of the pasta, like, eat a little bit
of an Italian accent there. You eat the pasta and
then you eat cookies and chocolate and now you are
(01:01):
on the sugar high and sued. It will crash and
it will rash. Trust me, the second this podcast ends,
mine eyes will see, my eyes will fall the deaths
of a thousand men. You literally will pull your eyes
down with your two fingers, like good night world, good
night world. I've done that before, Like I've literally eaten
to sleep before. So what I mean by that is
(01:23):
I'll eat donuts. I'll eat or it's like and I'll
just know, like this means I've got two hours tops
before I'm back to bed at one pm, and um,
I like that feeling. I like that feeling. I don't
know when I get excited to go to surgery, so
I'll know they'll put the gas mask on me and
I'll say good night. Oh I just lifted up my
(01:45):
arm and we're on zoom. I haven't seen that yet.
You know, that's there's a sweat, my sweat hanging out.
You know, it's hard for me to embarrass myself in
front of Devon after all these years, but my my
initial feeling was one of them, well, don't be embarrassed.
So how could things be this bad? Darky? You know,
when you realize, you're like, why did I have to
(02:07):
struggle with this? So here's the thing, how could things
get this bad? Like, let me just say this happened.
Things be this bad, but but they're also good because
let me tell you this now. Now, this is my
new catchphrase, let me tell you this? What is it?
And and that's actually a new title of our podcast,
let me tell you this. I was gonna say, I
(02:28):
was gonna say you better watch out because this is
gonna be one of those things where the catchphrase becomes
more popular than the show itself. Um, much like America's
Next Top Model. What is the catchphrase on that show? Now,
let me apologize because I actually was thinking the weakest link.
I was thinking you goodbye? Right? Yes, um? And I
(02:49):
don't know why I said America's next that model, but
but I guess. Um, I don't know what I'm saying,
but I'm saying that people are gonna get soon too.
Let me tell you this that they're gonna They're gonna
tell you they they're not going to talk about true
romance with Carolina Barlow and Devin Leary. Although that rolls
off the tongue, They're gonna say that catchphrase is going
to outlive all of us. They're gonna be like, have
(03:10):
you talk about Carolina Barlow Devin Leary? They're gonna say, children,
have you heard about Let me tell you this. Okay,
So I don't remember what I was going to tell
but why don't you take the stage, Carol, listen, Devin
and I are dealing with some low grade high grade depression,
whatever you want to call it, whatever you know, grade
you are. Diagnoses are being sought. That's all I'm gonna say.
(03:34):
Diagnoses specials are on the case. Hello, God, Are you there, God?
It's me seeking diagnoses. Yes, diagnoses are being sought. Um.
I thought that we could do a little tete tete,
a little culture lesson. I'm going to bring some journalism
(03:54):
to Devin. Devin is going to bring a social inspariment
science to me, backed by science. I really want to
talk about something that the poet and writer Maggie Smith
explored recently in the Cut, which I've been thinking. Now,
let me say one thing. Now, let me tell you this,
Let me tell you this. Yes, is that not professor mcgonagal,
(04:15):
Maggie Smith. Is that not? It is actually professor McGonagall
And it's also this writer, but first and foremost and
forever will be professor mcgonagal. But it's two different people,
or it's the same, it's two different people. Okay, I
would probably say actress rather than poet writer Maggie Smith.
Oh okay. It's something I've been thinking about a lot,
because I'll name check Reese Witherspoon and her husband of
(04:39):
twelve years recently broke up. Now, Reese Witherspoon obviously is
like the head of Hello Sunshine, which is worth one billion.
It just got valued at one billion dollars. You know.
They came out with Daisy Jones in the sixth which,
by the way, if you need a good soundtrack to
listen to, I listen to their soundtrack every day. I
have not watched one episode yet. But her husband, this guy,
(05:01):
Jim Talk, used to be this huge agent ATCA, like
real top dog. They get married whatever. Then he left
his job to go to Quibby. If we can all
remember that moment in time and like head operations there,
Quimby dies so quickly it's Quimby. It's a quick bite
(05:22):
and literally only had a quick bite that quick bites
of content like that. It's very, very weird. So Matt
Rogers has the funniest story he showed on Instagram when
he was doing a show there. He walks by Jeffrey Katzenberg,
who's like in a conference room. Jeffrey Katzenberg looks at
him and pulls the shades down. People are so crazy.
(05:47):
So Jim Talk leaves his big fancy position, goes to
work at Quimby. Then Quibby falls apart. As Quibby falls apart,
mark my words. I said that marriage is not going
to be able to last. Why because you cannot be
unemployed man who is married to an insanely powerful woman.
I think you should be able to be, but I
(06:09):
know from watching the world that men struggle with that,
men struggle not being in a powerful position next to
a powerful person. Female and Maggie Smith, this writer in
the Cut wrote a piece called My marriage was never
the same After that, in twenty sixteen, I wrote a
poem that went viral. My home life got complicated. So
(06:31):
she wrote the poem and you've probably seen it on Instagram.
Life is short, though I keep this from my children,
and the poem grows to be a piece about fears
and hopes she has for her children, and you know
the complicated world she brought them into, and people shared
it a lot after horrific occasions because it's just a
reminder like, yes, the world is terrible. And it ends
(06:53):
with like how beautiful this place could be? Like I
want to show you this place and say, like, look,
how beautiful this place could be. It's really beautiful poem.
So she writes a short piece in the Cut about
how her husband, who's not even a poet, he's a lawyer,
cannot handle her success around this that at one point
they're lying next to each other in bed at night,
and he says something along the lines of wow, you're
(07:15):
famous now, and she goes, I'm not famous. I wrote
a poem that's famous, and like, what does that even mean?
A poem that's famous. She wrote a poem that one viral.
But she has to go, you know, she gets booked
for things, and so she goes to conferences with other
writers and editors, and while she's there, her husband has
to you know, take care of the kids. And she
(07:38):
felt like he was doing quote unquote her work. She
didn't internalize this idea that he wasn't supposed to be
doing that and that you know, she said, you know,
it felt like he was covering for me, as if
I were a coworker who had gone on vacation and
left my cubicle neighbor with all my tasks while I
was away. And she said that she felt like she's
like I did feel bad because I saw other women
(07:59):
with spouses and kids and their husbands picked up the
phone with like, Hi, how's it going, And they asked
about their wives, panel discussions, reading signings, They put the
children on the phone. Some of the husbands even came
along and she was like I envied that. So, you know,
she talks about how travel even had been a sore
spot in their marriage before her poem went viral, but
since more requests came in, like the poem made things
(08:22):
worse in her marriage, and at one point even you know,
they end up getting a divorce. And her husband's lawyer
uses air quotes when she talks about her working, and
it's like, well, why you are quote unquote working, And
it's like it really makes you realize how we haven't
come that far into how people view women at work,
(08:42):
especially if it's creative work. Woman's human rights attorney for
a woman's a doctor, Like yeah, yeah, but the idea
of like a female writer, it seems like so flighty
that you should have to abandon yourself and abandon such
like indulgent careers for your responsibilities, which is like first
(09:04):
and foremost caretaker of a family rather than and this
is a lawyer and like all by probably a sophisticated
one because his wife is like such a smart and
talented writer. And then you watch Vanderpump Rules like I
do every night, and you see Jack Taylor say like
I'm happy to support my girlfriend talking about Brittany. Obviously
he doesn't even support her, but he's just saying that.
And he's like, but when I get home, I'd like
(09:26):
to have a sandwich. Oh. And that's when he's like,
trust me, I wish I was in your position. I
wish I could just like basically live off someone. It's like,
but she's not basically living. Actually, you told her that
you had her get a job at Hooters. And you
told her after you got fired from work because you
got arrested stealing a pair of sunglasses, Like, thank god
you have a job. I mean again, I could. I
(09:47):
could talk about Vanderpump Rules and I will talk about
Jack Taylor. And you know what, I bet we could
get Jack Taylor on this show. I bet we could
get this because because he's like promoting, he's promoting when
Reality Hits, which like could they not have just called
it reality hits or like reality bites. It's like when
Reality Hits is like such a long title, and his
(10:08):
fucking fillers like, I can't it's a lot. It's at
the end of the day, he's cauchy. He's au Cauchy.
His real name Ciuchi. That's that's what they were saying
on Bitch Session, it's like everyone does kind of like
freak out, like oh Rickel, her real name is actually Rachel,
but it's like but they all have fake names, like
LA's Lauren, Jack Taylor is Jason Cauchy. Like in the
(10:31):
words of La, I was called Laala since I was
a little girl. So you can take that up with
my mama. I know I love la La. I can
help it. I love her too, but um, you know,
it is terrifying what the human mind is able to
like grow accustomed to, Like you know, it's like one
of those things that's really scary where you think about
(10:52):
like wow, like when people end up in prison, like
that's so unimaginable. But then they're like mine just becomes
adjusted to it, like they're like this is just life.
And you're like, I've become adjusted to Laala, like she's
an a peer of mine in my head. No, I'm saying,
like when you go back in the seasons, I think
what you're talking about, like around when you're talking about
it's like Kristin Doty is truly one of the most unhinged, unforgivable,
(11:15):
like truly disturbed, physically violent, physic physically violent like horror.
Three people on the show like truly like and her
movements are like jagged, like the Grudge, Like I feel
like she's like about to come out of the corners
and the shadows and attack Sarah Michelle Geller. Yet now
(11:37):
later on in the show, she just becomes like You're like,
I literally she just becomes part of the I like
her too. She's got her T shirt line, she's got
her book, He's making you crazy, um of everyone's books,
because I was like, please tell me one of these
is good. They all, of course are supposedly aracious. I
(11:57):
heard that that how to be a basic bit to
whatever Stoss wrote was actually like kind of good, but like,
I'm sure it's actually bad. Stove is extremely likable. Once
Stas meets Bo, that's when you're like, Okay, you're a
good person and maybe these men have been making you
crazy and now you're with a good person, and like
then you see her family trauma and stuff. But I
also will say that I did say years ago, I said,
(12:20):
if Stas and Bo don't work out, I will give
up on love. And they are still together, but I've
given up on love anyway. No, Okay, but the other way,
I just think that I think it's interesting that we
get to the point where now it's like, I'm celebrating
all these photos of Ariana at the reunion revenge dress,
going out to the bar after with Kristen, and I'm like, again,
(12:43):
like this person has terrorized Arianna, terrorized me as a viewer,
and now I'm like, yes, girl, No. That is half
the thing about watching the show, because I've been watching
its scattered. I've been keeping up with the current episodes.
I've been keeping up with where my friend is. That
I'll jump ahead with her and then I'll jump back
to my place in season five. Currently I've skipped much
of season one, and I'll get back into my home,
(13:05):
my safe spot, which is, you know, my routine, and
season five. And I'm like the fact that we are
Stasie and Jackson recording a podcast together after he has
cheated on her with her best friend, the fact that
she is back with her best friend, the fact that
Arianna is who Kristen said once she wished she got
hit by a mactrack. They eventually are like, She's like,
(13:27):
oh my god, I can't wait to see her new place,
and I love that about I think that is sisterhood.
The fact that you know, uh La La called Katie
Maloney fat, the fact that Katie Maloney called La La horror,
the fact that Lalla said that I can't wait to
tell Katie and Tom Schwartz get a divorced so then
I could have sex with Tom Schwartz. And they're very
good friends. They were all like in a bed together,
(13:47):
like cuddling in Vegas. Yeah, that is fascinating to me.
That shows me that humans can grow, or at least
humans can. Humans can. I'm gonna the hatred you have
towards people can change, and that is important, you know,
you know, I really do think that you have to
remember that you that you'll get over things, because when
you're mad at someone, when you hate someone, you feel
(14:09):
like there's never going to be a period where I
do not feel this way towards someone I know. And
I think to your to everything you just said, I
think I will write a book about Vanderpump because because
I know you said none of the Vanderpump books are good,
I'm going to write the first good Vanderpump book, and
it's it's going to be called Humans Can. Human Can
(14:30):
and humans can. That sounds like you know you have.
President's wives always write books that are like choices, like
like hard choices, like becoming, like steps like humans can.
The cover is a picture of Jack's after nose Job
three with the huge cut across his face because they
had to take skin from his forehead and ear just
(14:50):
to reconstruct his nose because he's gotten it done when
he dies, and it just says humans can. Oh my god.
So I want to get back to my point about
partners and partners. I want to leave on a note
(15:11):
about this, but this is something that I think is
fascinating because if I'm with a man who is successful
or financially successful, I like to brag. I want to
like walk out with him. I want to tell everyone
what he's doing. It's exciting to me. I think that's
like hot, that's sexy, And I do not think of
it in terms of myself. I really don't. Like if
there's anything I'm insecure about, it's probably my looks. But
(15:32):
I'm not just like, well what am I doing? Like
I really am just more excited, Like great, you can
order food whenever we want, and I can like relax
while you're working and you know. I'm not trying to
sound not ambitious, because you know people know that I am.
But I'm I love the idea of like being with
someone who is having exciting developments in their career. There's
(15:56):
no part of me that would be threatened by that.
But I think it's so interesting that women have to
be nervous. Aka Bethany Frankel when she you know, her
career is poffing off and Jason happy. She knew and
you point this out Devon when she finds out that
her talk show is green Light. She's just sitting on
the floor of her room during Bethany ever after, just
(16:17):
looking down at the phone, and it's like, you know,
you know this means bad stuff for your personal life.
You know that the person you're with cannot handle this
because they are going to take it as what does
that mean about them and their manhood and their masculinity. Yep.
And so someone on Twitter, this writer Isabel Kaplan, said,
please send heartwarming stories of straight male partners or supporting
(16:40):
your creative endeavors. Hungry for a story that isn't. I
achieved unprecedented professional success in my relationship was never the same.
So I like these because mainly because I'm having trouble
like liking men right now, like as people. And I
know there's plenty of men that I love, like Will Ferrell.
(17:01):
You know, our boss, producer of this podcast is one
of my favorite people of all time. And I know
since she did, since you did preface it with producer
of this podcast, it kind of feels like you have
to say that he has a gun to my head
at the moment. No, I mean your dad. We love
my dad, We love like there's plenty of people who
are incredible in terms of men my age. In terms
(17:24):
of thinking about going out and dating them, all I
can think is I hate them, know to the extent
that when I think when I have to do anything,
like I don't know, go to a dentist, I'm like,
are they a man? Like? I's gotten to that point
where I am that sick of um. I would call
it the male gaze, but it's more of like the
(17:45):
male interaction, you know, I don't I don't want the
male interaction. So I read this to just remind myself
that there are good men out there. So, for instance,
here were some responses. My husband is delaying his retirement
three point five years so I can get my MF
a creative writing besides being the best dad in sharing
household choice and driving responsibilities. I remember one of the
first shows that I booked while we were married. He
(18:07):
surprised me and showed up with cupcakes for the entire crew. Well,
this one is cringe. My husband rewrote the lyrics to
the main theme of Hamilton to be about my debut
novel and singing at my book launch. And it was glorious. Yeah,
that would actually not be okay with me. And it
was glorious. That sounds so defensive, by the way, And
it was glorious, by the way. Before you say fucking word,
(18:33):
you must know that it was glorious. My now husband,
then partner and I decided to alternate nights for who
would get up and had changed the baby. But he
worked from home while I was teaching law school, so
he would routinely suprutunely, he would routunely, he would routinely
say it was his night when he saw I was exhausted.
It took me weeks to notice, Okay, that is really cute.
(18:57):
My husband is my biggest supporter. He reads all my articles.
Why She's gonna listen to any videos or podcasts. I mean,
brags about me to everyone and talks me up when
I'm insecure. I try to be an equally big fan
of his projects and work. It's truly lovely. I try
to be, she says, I try, but it's not always easy.
I just can't believe that men like this exist. I
(19:18):
know I can't either. And also, to your point that
you were saying before, there is a book about this
or something, It's like the childcare will always be the
woman's work no matter what. Parenting is gendered, and women
are biologically engineered to forget. How hard that is every time?
How much is that? It's so dark? It is. I
(19:42):
like it because it's why pain is forgetful, but it's
but it's frustrating that like men are always the ones
who have Like for example, on Love is Blind, which
we'll get to Kwami, which don't worry, we'll get to.
But Kwami has a conversation with Chelsea where she's like,
I think I want to have kids in the next
three years. He's thirty one. I think she's thirty, like
(20:03):
very reasonable in the next three years, and he's like,
and I'm like, by the way, kwami. It's not really
going to affect your life that much, Like you're gonna
lose some sleep, and you're not going to be able
to like maybe like I don't know what he does
in his free time, like go to the bar as
often as you want to. Other than that, it's not
(20:24):
going to affect your life that much. So you get
all the joy and all that stuff and all the
credit of like you're an amazing father. The fact that
you're a father at all means you're so self sacrificing,
and all these women will actually find you more attractive
because you're even able to do that. But the negatives
for you hard to see many, hard to see many.
(20:45):
I also think this. I think that a lot of men,
at least in the stratosphere of LA and New York,
are concerned with being cool. A lot of women are too,
I think just LA in New York in general, I
don't think that care taking is quote unquote cool. And
what I mean by that is that like, you have
to be humbled to caretake, you have to be Okay,
(21:06):
you think that babysitters are losers, that's what you're saying.
I think that moms they grandma's are losers too. I
think anyone who was a baby as a loser. You
think Missus Doubtfire is a huge loser. Good. Someone said
the theme of my birthday party is going to be
the party that makes Sally Fields divorced Robin wiel Fields
(21:30):
missus Deltfire and it really watch that movie. This scene
is insane. You literally, if I walk into my house
and a man was on a table with all children
jumping up and down, I would call nine one one. Yeah.
As someone who doesn't even like the police, I would
call the police say I think that something is going on.
(21:53):
You would say, listen. I don't. First of all, I
don't even like you. I don't want to say that
the second of allus happened, He's had a mosh pit
with children. Something's afoot here. I want to read two
more responses to this Twitter thread. One is Ashley c Ford,
who had a crazy big book that she broke out
(22:14):
with him and it was called Somebody's daughter was in
a bunch of best of lists. She said, my husband
got real sick out of nowhere last year. I ended
up in the er. He was in so much pain
and I felt so bad. I left his side for
ten minutes to use the bathroom and grabbl water. When
I got back to the room, he was telling the
doctor and nurse how to order my book on bookshop
dot org. Then the author of that book posted a
(22:35):
picture of herself next to her husband, and she said,
that's me in the dress receiving a standing ovation, and
that's my husband's my right visibly proud of me. He
quit his job to stay home with the kids after
we got married because my job requires me to travel
a lot, and it is my biggest supporter in all
the things. That's pretty cute. I don't even and this
is why I also think is interesting though, and I
wonder how you feel about it. I don't even know
(22:58):
if I would be able to accept that kind of
love because I would feel so unworthy of it, like,
oh my gosh, no, no, no, don't put your job
but no, no, that's interesting. I don't know if I
could be like, yeah, that would be really helpful, actually
if you could take care of the kids while I worked,
because I don't. And it's so true. It's exactly how
I feel about like wanting to be a mom, where
(23:18):
I do want to be a mom, but I want
to work more than I want to have children at
this point in my life. Well I think that's healthy.
But yeah, it's like to your point, it's like, then, yeah,
imagine if you could be like, well, then I could
actually still work for everything besides like three weeks of
my life, and I would still get to have a
kid and I don't really have to do that much
for it. So yeah, I just think it's interesting that
(23:42):
that is not even usually a conversation with couples. It's
not like okay, well, by the way, like I'm gonna
need help. Maybe it is. I guess it's just I
was never raised too, But most of them I know
weren't raised to like see it. Make sure that the
guy you're with knows that he has to help you
(24:02):
with caretaking and raising children. Yeah. It was always like
marry someone nice, to marry someone who like treats you. Well,
I'm marry someone who's like can land on their own
two feet, is capable. It was never like, marry someone
who knows how to humble themselves and put your career first. Yeah.
I think it's really new still, and I think even
(24:24):
progressive men probably don't know how to do it as
well as they think they do, just like I wouldn't
know how to do the I wouldn't know how to
facilitate that as a woman, I wouldn't know how to
like ask for that. I wouldn't either. Did you want
like helpful advice from me? Because I like, wait, is
this a question? I'm just interested in it. I think
(24:49):
I'm I'm meeting you more with a black hole than
with helpful thoughts. You did just show me your black
hole and I okay, well this is where I think
is interesting too, Okay. I it's been attracted to like
people who are quote unquote cool, like who I want
(25:09):
to be with has usually been like someone who's like
a cool musician or like, oh, send in a Dungeons
and Dragons zoom with your boyfriend. I know that like
cool for you. That's good for you. I like, i'd
like you. I have never been like into Dungeons and Dragons,
and I'm never dressed up in cosplay as a video
game character I have done. This is what's sad about me. Listen, world,
(25:33):
That is how hard I will go in any relationship.
But I'm not sad. It's amazing, I know, but it's
sad that I was like, this is my life now,
like Dungeons and Dragons, We're gonna be going We're gonna
be doing game nights. Okay, you think that's bad nights,
I'm gonna be making sacks for game nights. No, No,
I don't think that's bad. This is what I'm saying.
(25:54):
What's bad is what have I ever gotten? What have
I ever gotten? So not to make everything you just
said about me, or it, don't trip on it, but
not to make everything you said about me. But I
think that's going to have to be pro it's the
same thing that I'm saying, which he's like, I don't
even know how to ask for these things. Yeah, but no,
(26:16):
we could ask for them right by the way, I'm
sure to see the Stasi Schroders of the world who like,
would make you build them a fucking castle. I've said
to a boyfriend, I said, can I ask you a
huge favor? And he said what? And I said, can
you turn the ac down? And he said what? And
he said, that's not a huge favor. But I was like,
but that's how I felt so scared of asking for
(26:37):
stupid little things, because I think it's all low self
esteem and and like societal expectations and stuff. But I
think I can speak for both you and I when
I say like, we both feel sometimes like we're lucky
to even be there. Yes, so I'm like, I, how
dare I ask for something else? And then towards the
end of relationships sometimes though, I'll be like, wait, I
(27:00):
just ask for something, and you started to start building
the evidence of your brain. Don't look my pit stain
when you say, wait, I have shown up in all
these different ways and you can't do you know, dinner
with a coworker of fine, Like I know it kind
of things start to be clear, I know, And it
is that thing where it's like, but yet do I
(27:21):
ask directly that I need the person to be at
the dinner? You know? Like it's like I think a
lot of times I'm like, no, it's good, We're good
because again I'm like, I'm just lucky to even be here.
You don't have to do anything. I think that it
would be really scary for me to ask for all
the things I want. It would be really scary for
me to ask for all the things I want, because
(27:43):
they do start with a pony. I literally thought you
were pointing down to your crotch, and I was like,
all rights, all the quorum, we've lost, all nuanced. We
are going to take a quick commercial break and we
(28:04):
are going to be back with Devin bringing me some
really cutting edge social experiment research. Please stay tuned, and
we're back with true romance. You guys. I had one
(28:24):
thing to do for this podcast, one thing which was
to watch Love Is Blind. You may think, wow, that's
so easy. Why don't you watch Love is Blind before bed?
But you know what that would do. That would prevent
me from watching vander Pump Rules until one am last night. Yeah,
and I simply don't. I wasn't even a choice I made.
I simply forgot. I woke up today and thought that's
(28:45):
something I didn't do. And now I'm here and Devin
is in a position to really have to teach me,
to take me under her wing and tell me about
this new season. Well it is. It's been hard for
all of us to take this on during this time
of vander Pump. Because I heard that someone was like, oh,
are you watching the new Love Is Blind? I'm like, yeah,
with Raven and Plate's Body, Raven and the Clementinees whatever,
(29:08):
They're like, no, no, there's a new one. I'm like
Jesus Christ, like, can we not? Like? I don't need
to ask, I don't need to add this to my docket.
Can I breathe? I know what I want to ask
my partner. Can I breathe? So I need sleep. I
need sleep. I need I mean nothing else really because
(29:28):
I have no job and no prospects and no hope.
But I do need sleep, and I do need to eat,
and I have a cat. So I started my Love
is Blind journey, Love is Blind Seattle, and I was
not disappointed. Brief overview for you all. So so we're
eight episodes and I think we're not done. There's more
to come. It is in Seattle, which I love, but
(29:51):
it starts out in the windowless cavern that we all know. Yeah,
so we have the two most controversial characters of the show,
which is Mica twenty six don't remember her job, but
I do remember she considers herself an end path. And
we'll have Arena twenty five according to her, no shade,
no shade, but like twenty six according to Micah and
(30:12):
twenty five according to Arena. I don't know, like I
do feel like I don't remember twenty five and twenty
six year olds looking that age when I was that age,
but maybe I think wrong. So Arena has business owner
as her thing, and I did have to check that
out today because I'm like, now, this is a woman
(30:33):
who redeeming quality has never fallen into her path, like
she just there's nothing there except for I mean, she's
she and Micah both, so they latch onto each other
and they start like kind of like just being mean
to people in the pods and like laughing at people
and like giggling in the corner, and they end up
(30:55):
both like being those girls who try to fuck up
the other couples, Like my Ka has a thing with Paul,
but she also has a thing with Kwami, And then
Kwami asked her to marry him, and she says no
because she chooses Paul. But then once they get to
the honeymoon, Mica starts flirting with Kwamie again, and she's
like holding his hand and being like, you know, I
always wanted to be you, right, like you know that right.
(31:16):
And meanwhile Arena, who's supposed to be MICA's best friend,
Arena choose this guy Zach, who I mean to be
fair to her is not safe to be around. I
will say, he seems so unwell and strange. I don't
know what it is, but I'll get into him in
(31:37):
a second. I mean, all I have to say is
Zach's thing in the beginning in the Pods was to
tell people to say, like what do you do for work?
And they're like, I'm a dental hygienist. And then they
asked him and he says, I'm a stripper, and then
he says just kidding multiple times. Then eventually he does
this whole monologue where he's like, I've actually decided that,
(31:58):
like today I really need to like get real with
people and like be vulnerable because I'm finding love. So
then he tells people enough of the amazing jokes. Zach
starts saying, Okay, I'm gonna be vulnerable, and then he
tells people, actually his mom is a stripper, and this
is really psychotic. So this is the thing. It's like
very disturbing because then the way he presents it is
like he's embarrassed of it and then like saying like, no,
(32:21):
but I actually think that's amazing, Like it's actually amazing
that she's a stripper. Like provided they need like this
is one oh one therapy. A therapist would have like
untangled that in like ten minutes. What him being like
in the therapist I actually joke about because I'm ashamed
of it and now I have to like get in
front of it. I know. I also imagine he goes
into therapy and he's like, so, what do you do
(32:41):
for a therapist? Well, guess what, I'm a stripper. She's like,
just my mom is though, can we talk about it? Okay?
So that's the red flags about Zach. So he's not
like the best, although I guess he's like sweet. I'm
just like, I don't know. He likes a lot of
eye contact and I will not know. I would not
do well with that, and he's very like kind of
(33:02):
man splaining. I think, like whatever. In the beginning, I
was kind of on Arena's side a little bit because
I was like, wait, this guy is weird and like,
I don't understand him. But then she became so awful.
So then Arena starts double timing not only Zach but
also her only friend, Mica, because Arena starts flirting with
Paul in the Honeymoons, and then Zach, Arena's fiance is
(33:23):
kind of like He's like, I'm not sure if I
feel like a connection here, Like I feel like you don't.
You're not like affectionate towards me at all. And I'm like,
not really sure what's going on. And she was basically like, yeah,
I mean once I had a conversation with Paul, Like
I was like whoa, Like I cannot even stop thinking
about that conversation, like that was like amazing, Like my
conversation with Paul was amazing. And Zach is like, Okay,
(33:44):
so I think we should call it quits here and
move on. So they break up. Yeah, so that's them.
And then Mica immediately released the statement apologizing for bullying
and for her quote unquote emotionally immature behavior on the
show Arena just recently did. And that's what led me
to finally look into, like what is the business that
Arena quote unquote owns? And if you go to her Instagram,
(34:07):
it says like owner or founder of solocode dot and
you might wonder what that is. Okay, it's a website
with a bunch of pictures of like girls with like
trendy lobs and like bottles of champagne, and it says,
there's a section called about end values. That's the name
of the section about and Values. It says, what we do.
(34:30):
We help people create memories of a lifetime by creating
a space that celebrates people life's events and the moments
in between. Life at the Table exists to help build,
shape and share people's stories by creating a unique table
experience of a lifetime. We do this by truly valuing
community and relationships and truly believe people and events should
(34:51):
be celebrated effortlessly and constantly. Period. That's the description of
the business. She just invents the iPhone can' memories. It's
truly it reminds me of that. I think you should
leave things where they're like watching the driver's at videos
and they're like, okay, what does she do for work?
What did she do for work? And they're like, oh
the tables, Like what are they? Life at the Table
(35:13):
exists to help build, shape and share people's stories by
creating a unique table experience of a lifetime. Like I'm like,
what is going on here? Anyway? So that's so loco
and that's Arena's business and that's fascinating. Okay. So meanwhile
we have Chelsea who is the Amanda Knox of the show,
and that she's say I want to roover her. So
(35:37):
she's the girl who's with Kwamie, who therefore she was
betrayed because Kwamie flirted with Mica and the honeymoon. And
by the way, like Chelsea is also the girl on
the season who comes in. You know how there's always
a girl who could not possibly be more in her thirties.
Like she's just like is like I've been on the apps,
(35:57):
I've been doing it. I've been putting it out there.
I've been telling them I've been doing everyone thinks but
like I just need to get married. Like that's her vibe.
So it's like I feel bad for her. I know
she's betrayed, but she's also like her personality is really
not good and so I want to root for her
with this whole Kwami and Mica thing. But then she
says things about how the color pink is really empowering
(36:20):
for her and that's why, like in her apartment she
has a framed pink painting that says MOI with like
a kiss face and like that's really tough. She also
does a lot of like my man, like my man
my husband, like you know, that whole thing, and it's
just so it's just so hard. She also does a
very strange thing that made me think like is everything
(36:43):
okay at home? Because she when Kwami met her dad,
she basically like acted so freaked out, like imagine this
is you. It's like you're about to meet your partner's family,
and your partner is so freaked out it's like palpable.
And then he said he's like, you know, I'm the
one who should be nervous, Like I'm the one who's
like meeting them, and she's like, we're both nervous. This
(37:04):
is scary for both of us. And he's like, well,
it's a little bit different for me because it's like
your family, and she's like, no, we both have to
make a good impression. I was like that before where
an ax of mine when I was really young, was
so terrified when I met his mom and I was
not terrified, and I was like, what's going on? I
was like, I'm good with mom's. Mom's really like me,
and he was like, okay, let's just take a deep breath.
(37:26):
And I was like what why? And then it was
really awkward, mainly because like the vibe was just so nervous,
and I was like, why are we being so nervous? Okay,
but am I now now correct correctly if I'm wrong?
But am I remembering right? I destroyed a bread basket,
you ate the whole bread basket and went and potentially
(37:46):
two bread baskets and under ten minutes. So that's what
they were worried about. So listen, the vibes were weird,
was well, yeah, because I was a nervous because the
vibes were off, and I thought, if you judged me yet,
ye be judged. Yes, that's actually what God says. He said,
God said, if you judge me? And by the way,
(38:07):
when okay, let's think how God. No, but listen, think
about God's time, like when God was in the streets,
when God was a person? Was he ever? I think
he was. I think he was Jim Carrey at one point.
It's like who were his peers? The devil? I think.
So he's saying that to the devil. He's saying, if
you judge me, yes, yes, yet Tim Heidecker was doing this,
(38:31):
uh like fake Joe Rogan sketch. I have to send you,
Oh my God, there was a whole bit where another
comic was like, yeah, I mean, did you hear it?
They found a horn. They found the Devil's Horn. He
was like, oh, they found the horn. That's so interesting.
He's like, yeah, dude, they found the horn where you
(38:52):
have to send the three please, I love there's found
They found the horn. That's so interesting. That's so he's like,
oh my god, I'm obsessed with that. But yes, she's
terrified of him meeting her family and it went fine.
But then you have the other extreme where it's like,
then this girl, Mica, the one who was like, I'm
(39:15):
twenty six and like had to apologize for being emotionally immature.
So MICA's parents meet her new fiance and they're basically
like okay. She's like, by the way, I guess I
didn't even tell you guys, I got engaged. And they're
like wow, okay, and she's like yeah, so like this
is Paul and we're getting married and they're like, nice
to meet you, Paul, and you're like what. And then
(39:36):
afterwards they do a confessional with them and the dad's like,
I don't know, I mean, I trust Mike. I mean, listen,
he could be a serial killer, seems like a nice guy.
And then the mom's like, you know, we love Mica
and whatever makes her happy. So it's one of those
things that makes you think it's like, okay, sometimes it's
hard when your parents judge you. That being said, do
I want my dad to laugh after meeting my fiance
(40:00):
and I didn't even tell him about and say, listen,
you know he could be a serial killer, but he
seems like want care. Care. It's always nice when your parents,
whether you liver, die, Yeah, that is appreciated. Luckily, one
of MICA's friends does care and starts crying inexplicably because
by the way, MICA's like, fiance guy Paul seems completely nice,
(40:22):
if anything, like a little bit dim, but who's not
on this show. Yeah, and he's like a scientific engineer
or something so whatever, but his hands or whatever, I
don't know. He's like running for president or whatever. I
don't know. And then Mica takes him to meet her
friends and by the way, they start like one conversation
with him, and Mike's like, oh my god, I know,
(40:44):
isn't it so hard when he talks all science. It's
like hard to understand him. And her friends are like
what and then one of her friends cries and it's
like I just want you to fight true love, but
like this is not it. And then Mike's like, really,
oh it's not and so I'm just like okay, so
(41:06):
that's tough. Then meanwhile, we have the best couple on
the show, which you would never expect this, by the way,
speaking of people, can humans can You're like, because you
see something, you think you can judge a human by
their cover, but you can't. So there's Brett and Tiffany.
Brett is like incredibly hot guy who's like a designer
(41:29):
or something for Nike, so calm, cool, collected, like dream
guy on the show. Tiffany stunning girls girl. I forget
what she does for work, but she came on. I
think she's in her like mid thirties, and she's like
in a very charming way, like I'm like nervous about
like being one of the older people on the show,
but I just really want to meet someone. Like you're
(41:50):
just rooting for her, Okay, you're rooting for them both.
They're having an amazing connection. He almost right away, Brett
almost right away is like I'm just going to propose
to her, Like I don't want to be with any
anyone us. And by god does he start doing the
proposal and what do you hear through the microphone from
her pod? You're gonna hear some snoring. She fell asleep.
(42:13):
So he gives this heartfelt proposal about how he's never
met someone like this exactly. So then he hears nothing
and he's like hello, hello, and there's nothing, and he's
like so upset. He's like, oh my god, Wow, what
just happened? Which has happened? He leaves. Then Chelsea comes
in and she's like Tiffany, hey, babes, like your date's over.
(42:34):
And at first it's so funny because at first she
wakes up and she's like Hi, Oh my god, Hi,
And then Chelsea's like, your date's over. And Tiffany's like, wait, Brett, Wait,
where's Brett? And they're like he left and she's like oh,
She's like oh shit, shit, shit shit. So then she
goes back and she apologizes to Brett and she's like,
I fell asleep. The filming hours are so long, like
(42:56):
I can't believe I did that, but like the reason
I fell asleep is because your voice is so soothing,
and like I love talking to you so much and
please forgive me, and he's like, um, I forgive you,
like will you be my wife? And it's like so
cute and they're perfect. Okay, that's the silver lining. Now
what is the Devil's lining? Speaking of the devil, then
there's Jacquelina and Marshall, who start out so cute, except
(43:19):
that there is like a little bit of like drama
because Marshall and this she's into Marshall and another guy.
The other guy's really fucking annoying and Marshall's basically like
choose me. But anyway, I loved them. I was really
rooting for them. I think she has like some family
trauma that she has like vaguely touched on in the show,
but she hasn't gone deep. It seems like, and I
(43:40):
don't know who to blame because I never want to
blame the woman, but it seems like because it seems
like because of trauma, Jacquelina has like started a fight
with Marshall over nothing, like I think she's basically pushing
him away a story of relationships and trauma, Like she's
like suddenly being like you're not man enough, Like you're
like all this off and you're like oh Jesus Christ.
(44:02):
But I think she's just one of those people who
wasn't maybe well enough to be on reality television. And
I feel like producers are there, they're well, they're in
a sticky spot because people like Kristin Dodi or Jack
Taylor happen to make very good television. Now if I
were producing those shows, would I trust these people to
(44:24):
maybe not hurt another fellow human being, to be okay
to maybe not you know, drive into a river? No?
I love it, and I'm so I'm always like, how
do these Bachelor producers find the most unhinged people and
feel like they're okay to put on camera? I know
you're already crazy, and we're gonna put you in an
intense atmosphere that would push anyone to their limit, But
(44:48):
you want to But this is the thing, Carolina. You
want to talk about God's times? Then what is that
the Devil's lining? No, that's close too, that's close to
what's that guy's name? That what's the gladiator? That's close
to those times? So this is what God was around?
Then I definitely God is alive, probably by the time
(45:09):
of that guy the Gladiator. So I'm just saying this
has always been the way. It's like for people who
are like, oh, reality TV is bad for your brain,
It's like, oh, so then you think the gladiator holding
his thumb up for people getting mauled to death was
bad for his brain. Oh you tell him that that
You're you're saying, like the reality TV has always has existed.
I'm trying to I'm just trying to parse out your
(45:31):
argument for people listening. I'm saying, anyone who's ever made
fun of me for watching reality TV, try your hand
at being in the colosseum with whatever a bowl or
a tiger or whatever they throw in there, all to
death by a tiger. That's all I'm saying. That's all.
It's reality TV or that. Which are you gonna choose?
(45:53):
That's all. It's one of those things. It's like astrology.
It's like, you know what, life is hard, don't make
fun of me. Don't criticize me for things that bring
me joy, for things, you know, lower my blood pressure.
I you know, does read my horoscope? Does it ever
like hit right on the money? Probably not, But does
it help me all the time? It relax me, yes
(46:13):
all the time. Yeah. That being said, the book's cosmic
coupling and sex strology are really necessary for anyone who
is wanting to do research on their significant other. I
love them so much. Well, see you at the Devil's Lining.
That's all I gotta say. See what my favorite club
slash underwear lingerie line, the Devil's Lining. It's actually underwear
(46:37):
that you can wear exclusively on your period and it
never stains because it's the Devil's Lining. Well by Endorse.
I really feel like we've learned so much about literature,
about film. Maybe this is one of my favorite episodes.
Maybe I need to just always be like this, depressed
before an episode. Sometimes the greatest art comes from pain
(47:00):
that bad go, that's what he was talking about. That's
what Bano was talking about. I think that's actually a
direct quote. Sometimes the greatest art comes from pain. Bang.
That's what he was saying with the ear because, let
me tell you, like, I've never liked that whole ear thing.
I think that's growth, But now I get it. I
always thought the ear thing was weird. I never got it.
I like, you actually a direct quote. Man's girlfriend. She's like,
(47:28):
what do you do? That's Katie Maloney racting to look
like anything quait. Oh my god, you sound exactly like her.
No offense. Well that is a little bit offense. And
I want to say something about Katie for her. Why
I don't know, but I am too in that beret.
(47:48):
You think that you can't ever endorse someone who wears
a beret like that, but you can. And by the way,
humans canas should block to see if it was still
a pucker and poud, it's not. I don't think and
pucker and pout. I was like, you better have an
asshole as your as your tattoo as your tattoo. Okay,
(48:10):
because she has that lifts tattoo, it looks like an asshole.
All right, we gotta go. We gotta go what we
who are we getting doing? This isn't God's time where
there was so much time in the world because they
had no books your days when God was around. We have,
we have stuff to watch. We gotta go read one
history book. Yeah, we gotta we gotta know. We always
(48:32):
say we're gonna read one history book. We never do.
We're gonna do it. We're not gonna do it. Okay,
love you by it, so Sorro, love me baby, don't
(49:04):
leave me again. I want you
Hello, Welcome to True Romance. And let me say this.
One thing about depression is that one thing about depression
is that's the show Introe for today. Hello, welcome to
True Romance. And let me say this. Sometimes you sometimes
you think all day, how can I do anything besides
watch Summerhouse on a laptop and bed sideways, And you're like,
(00:37):
I have to record a podcast, And then what do
you do? You're a professional, so what do you do?
You make yourself a ball of pasta. You put chicken
on top of the pasta, like, eat a little bit
of an Italian accent there. You eat the pasta and
then you eat cookies and chocolate and now you are
(01:01):
on the sugar high and sued. It will crash and
it will rash. Trust me, the second this podcast ends,
mine eyes will see, my eyes will fall the deaths
of a thousand men. You literally will pull your eyes
down with your two fingers, like good night world, good
night world. I've done that before, Like I've literally eaten
to sleep before. So what I mean by that is
(01:23):
I'll eat donuts. I'll eat or it's like and I'll
just know, like this means I've got two hours tops
before I'm back to bed at one pm, and um,
I like that feeling. I like that feeling. I don't
know when I get excited to go to surgery, so
I'll know they'll put the gas mask on me and
I'll say good night. Oh I just lifted up my
(01:45):
arm and we're on zoom. I haven't seen that yet.
You know, that's there's a sweat, my sweat hanging out.
You know, it's hard for me to embarrass myself in
front of Devon after all these years, but my my
initial feeling was one of them, well, don't be embarrassed.
So how could things be this bad? Darky? You know,
when you realize, you're like, why did I have to
(02:07):
struggle with this? So here's the thing, how could things
get this bad? Like, let me just say this happened.
Things be this bad, but but they're also good because
let me tell you this now. Now, this is my
new catchphrase, let me tell you this? What is it?
And and that's actually a new title of our podcast,
let me tell you this. I was gonna say, I
(02:28):
was gonna say you better watch out because this is
gonna be one of those things where the catchphrase becomes
more popular than the show itself. Um, much like America's
Next Top Model. What is the catchphrase on that show? Now,
let me apologize because I actually was thinking the weakest link.
I was thinking you goodbye? Right? Yes, um? And I
(02:49):
don't know why I said America's next that model, but
but I guess. Um, I don't know what I'm saying,
but I'm saying that people are gonna get soon too.
Let me tell you this that they're gonna They're gonna
tell you they they're not going to talk about true
romance with Carolina Barlow and Devin Leary. Although that rolls
off the tongue, They're gonna say that catchphrase is going
to outlive all of us. They're gonna be like, have
(03:10):
you talk about Carolina Barlow Devin Leary? They're gonna say, children,
have you heard about Let me tell you this. Okay,
So I don't remember what I was going to tell
but why don't you take the stage, Carol, listen, Devin
and I are dealing with some low grade high grade depression,
whatever you want to call it, whatever you know, grade
you are. Diagnoses are being sought. That's all I'm gonna say.
(03:34):
Diagnoses specials are on the case. Hello, God, Are you there, God?
It's me seeking diagnoses. Yes, diagnoses are being sought. Um.
I thought that we could do a little tete tete,
a little culture lesson. I'm going to bring some journalism
(03:54):
to Devin. Devin is going to bring a social inspariment
science to me, backed by science. I really want to
talk about something that the poet and writer Maggie Smith
explored recently in the Cut, which I've been thinking. Now,
let me say one thing. Now, let me tell you this,
Let me tell you this. Yes, is that not professor mcgonagal,
(04:15):
Maggie Smith. Is that not? It is actually professor McGonagall
And it's also this writer, but first and foremost and
forever will be professor mcgonagal. But it's two different people,
or it's the same, it's two different people. Okay, I
would probably say actress rather than poet writer Maggie Smith.
Oh okay. It's something I've been thinking about a lot,
because I'll name check Reese Witherspoon and her husband of
(04:39):
twelve years recently broke up. Now, Reese Witherspoon obviously is
like the head of Hello Sunshine, which is worth one billion.
It just got valued at one billion dollars. You know.
They came out with Daisy Jones in the sixth which,
by the way, if you need a good soundtrack to
listen to, I listen to their soundtrack every day. I
have not watched one episode yet. But her husband, this guy,
(05:01):
Jim Talk, used to be this huge agent ATCA, like
real top dog. They get married whatever. Then he left
his job to go to Quibby. If we can all
remember that moment in time and like head operations there,
Quimby dies so quickly it's Quimby. It's a quick bite
(05:22):
and literally only had a quick bite that quick bites
of content like that. It's very, very weird. So Matt
Rogers has the funniest story he showed on Instagram when
he was doing a show there. He walks by Jeffrey Katzenberg,
who's like in a conference room. Jeffrey Katzenberg looks at
him and pulls the shades down. People are so crazy.
(05:47):
So Jim Talk leaves his big fancy position, goes to
work at Quimby. Then Quibby falls apart. As Quibby falls apart,
mark my words. I said that marriage is not going
to be able to last. Why because you cannot be
unemployed man who is married to an insanely powerful woman.
I think you should be able to be, but I
(06:09):
know from watching the world that men struggle with that,
men struggle not being in a powerful position next to
a powerful person. Female and Maggie Smith, this writer in
the Cut wrote a piece called My marriage was never
the same After that, in twenty sixteen, I wrote a
poem that went viral. My home life got complicated. So
(06:31):
she wrote the poem and you've probably seen it on Instagram.
Life is short, though I keep this from my children,
and the poem grows to be a piece about fears
and hopes she has for her children, and you know
the complicated world she brought them into, and people shared
it a lot after horrific occasions because it's just a
reminder like, yes, the world is terrible. And it ends
(06:53):
with like how beautiful this place could be? Like I
want to show you this place and say, like, look,
how beautiful this place could be. It's really beautiful poem.
So she writes a short piece in the Cut about
how her husband, who's not even a poet, he's a lawyer,
cannot handle her success around this that at one point
they're lying next to each other in bed at night,
and he says something along the lines of wow, you're
(07:15):
famous now, and she goes, I'm not famous. I wrote
a poem that's famous, and like, what does that even mean?
A poem that's famous. She wrote a poem that one viral.
But she has to go, you know, she gets booked
for things, and so she goes to conferences with other
writers and editors, and while she's there, her husband has
to you know, take care of the kids. And she
(07:38):
felt like he was doing quote unquote her work. She
didn't internalize this idea that he wasn't supposed to be
doing that and that you know, she said, you know,
it felt like he was covering for me, as if
I were a coworker who had gone on vacation and
left my cubicle neighbor with all my tasks while I
was away. And she said that she felt like she's
like I did feel bad because I saw other women
(07:59):
with spouses and kids and their husbands picked up the
phone with like, Hi, how's it going, And they asked
about their wives, panel discussions, reading signings, They put the
children on the phone. Some of the husbands even came
along and she was like I envied that. So, you know,
she talks about how travel even had been a sore
spot in their marriage before her poem went viral, but
since more requests came in, like the poem made things
(08:22):
worse in her marriage, and at one point even you know,
they end up getting a divorce. And her husband's lawyer
uses air quotes when she talks about her working, and
it's like, well, why you are quote unquote working, And
it's like it really makes you realize how we haven't
come that far into how people view women at work,
(08:42):
especially if it's creative work. Woman's human rights attorney for
a woman's a doctor, Like yeah, yeah, but the idea
of like a female writer, it seems like so flighty
that you should have to abandon yourself and abandon such
like indulgent careers for your responsibilities, which is like first
(09:04):
and foremost caretaker of a family rather than and this
is a lawyer and like all by probably a sophisticated
one because his wife is like such a smart and
talented writer. And then you watch Vanderpump Rules like I
do every night, and you see Jack Taylor say like
I'm happy to support my girlfriend talking about Brittany. Obviously
he doesn't even support her, but he's just saying that.
And he's like, but when I get home, I'd like
(09:26):
to have a sandwich. Oh. And that's when he's like,
trust me, I wish I was in your position. I
wish I could just like basically live off someone. It's like,
but she's not basically living. Actually, you told her that
you had her get a job at Hooters. And you
told her after you got fired from work because you
got arrested stealing a pair of sunglasses, Like, thank god
you have a job. I mean again, I could. I
(09:47):
could talk about Vanderpump Rules and I will talk about
Jack Taylor. And you know what, I bet we could
get Jack Taylor on this show. I bet we could
get this because because he's like promoting, he's promoting when
Reality Hits, which like could they not have just called
it reality hits or like reality bites. It's like when
Reality Hits is like such a long title, and his
(10:08):
fucking fillers like, I can't it's a lot. It's at
the end of the day, he's cauchy. He's au Cauchy.
His real name Ciuchi. That's that's what they were saying
on Bitch Session, it's like everyone does kind of like
freak out, like oh Rickel, her real name is actually Rachel,
but it's like but they all have fake names, like
LA's Lauren, Jack Taylor is Jason Cauchy. Like in the
(10:31):
words of La, I was called Laala since I was
a little girl. So you can take that up with
my mama. I know I love la La. I can
help it. I love her too, but um, you know,
it is terrifying what the human mind is able to
like grow accustomed to, Like you know, it's like one
of those things that's really scary where you think about
(10:52):
like wow, like when people end up in prison, like
that's so unimaginable. But then they're like mine just becomes
adjusted to it, like they're like this is just life.
And you're like, I've become adjusted to Laala, like she's
an a peer of mine in my head. No, I'm saying,
like when you go back in the seasons, I think
what you're talking about, like around when you're talking about
it's like Kristin Doty is truly one of the most unhinged, unforgivable,
(11:15):
like truly disturbed, physically violent, physic physically violent like horror.
Three people on the show like truly like and her
movements are like jagged, like the Grudge, Like I feel
like she's like about to come out of the corners
and the shadows and attack Sarah Michelle Geller. Yet now
(11:37):
later on in the show, she just becomes like You're like,
I literally she just becomes part of the I like
her too. She's got her T shirt line, she's got
her book, He's making you crazy, um of everyone's books,
because I was like, please tell me one of these
is good. They all, of course are supposedly aracious. I
(11:57):
heard that that how to be a basic bit to
whatever Stoss wrote was actually like kind of good, but like,
I'm sure it's actually bad. Stove is extremely likable. Once
Stas meets Bo, that's when you're like, Okay, you're a
good person and maybe these men have been making you
crazy and now you're with a good person, and like
then you see her family trauma and stuff. But I
also will say that I did say years ago, I said,
(12:20):
if Stas and Bo don't work out, I will give
up on love. And they are still together, but I've
given up on love anyway. No, Okay, but the other way,
I just think that I think it's interesting that we
get to the point where now it's like, I'm celebrating
all these photos of Ariana at the reunion revenge dress,
going out to the bar after with Kristen, and I'm like, again,
(12:43):
like this person has terrorized Arianna, terrorized me as a viewer,
and now I'm like, yes, girl, No. That is half
the thing about watching the show, because I've been watching
its scattered. I've been keeping up with the current episodes.
I've been keeping up with where my friend is. That
I'll jump ahead with her and then I'll jump back
to my place in season five. Currently I've skipped much
of season one, and I'll get back into my home,
(13:05):
my safe spot, which is, you know, my routine, and
season five. And I'm like the fact that we are
Stasie and Jackson recording a podcast together after he has
cheated on her with her best friend, the fact that
she is back with her best friend, the fact that
Arianna is who Kristen said once she wished she got
hit by a mactrack. They eventually are like, She's like,
(13:27):
oh my god, I can't wait to see her new place,
and I love that about I think that is sisterhood.
The fact that you know, uh La La called Katie
Maloney fat, the fact that Katie Maloney called La La horror,
the fact that Lalla said that I can't wait to
tell Katie and Tom Schwartz get a divorced so then
I could have sex with Tom Schwartz. And they're very
good friends. They were all like in a bed together,
(13:47):
like cuddling in Vegas. Yeah, that is fascinating to me.
That shows me that humans can grow, or at least
humans can. Humans can. I'm gonna the hatred you have
towards people can change, and that is important, you know,
you know, I really do think that you have to
remember that you that you'll get over things, because when
you're mad at someone, when you hate someone, you feel
(14:09):
like there's never going to be a period where I
do not feel this way towards someone I know. And
I think to your to everything you just said, I
think I will write a book about Vanderpump because because
I know you said none of the Vanderpump books are good,
I'm going to write the first good Vanderpump book, and
it's it's going to be called Humans Can. Human Can
(14:30):
and humans can. That sounds like you know you have.
President's wives always write books that are like choices, like
like hard choices, like becoming, like steps like humans can.
The cover is a picture of Jack's after nose Job
three with the huge cut across his face because they
had to take skin from his forehead and ear just
(14:50):
to reconstruct his nose because he's gotten it done when
he dies, and it just says humans can. Oh my god.
So I want to get back to my point about
partners and partners. I want to leave on a note
(15:11):
about this, but this is something that I think is
fascinating because if I'm with a man who is successful
or financially successful, I like to brag. I want to
like walk out with him. I want to tell everyone
what he's doing. It's exciting to me. I think that's
like hot, that's sexy, And I do not think of
it in terms of myself. I really don't. Like if
there's anything I'm insecure about, it's probably my looks. But
(15:32):
I'm not just like, well what am I doing? Like
I really am just more excited, Like great, you can
order food whenever we want, and I can like relax
while you're working and you know. I'm not trying to
sound not ambitious, because you know people know that I am.
But I'm I love the idea of like being with
someone who is having exciting developments in their career. There's
(15:56):
no part of me that would be threatened by that.
But I think it's so interesting that women have to
be nervous. Aka Bethany Frankel when she you know, her
career is poffing off and Jason happy. She knew and
you point this out Devon when she finds out that
her talk show is green Light. She's just sitting on
the floor of her room during Bethany ever after, just
(16:17):
looking down at the phone, and it's like, you know,
you know this means bad stuff for your personal life.
You know that the person you're with cannot handle this
because they are going to take it as what does
that mean about them and their manhood and their masculinity. Yep.
And so someone on Twitter, this writer Isabel Kaplan, said,
please send heartwarming stories of straight male partners or supporting
(16:40):
your creative endeavors. Hungry for a story that isn't. I
achieved unprecedented professional success in my relationship was never the same.
So I like these because mainly because I'm having trouble
like liking men right now, like as people. And I
know there's plenty of men that I love, like Will Ferrell.
(17:01):
You know, our boss, producer of this podcast is one
of my favorite people of all time. And I know
since she did, since you did preface it with producer
of this podcast, it kind of feels like you have
to say that he has a gun to my head
at the moment. No, I mean your dad. We love
my dad, We love like there's plenty of people who
are incredible in terms of men my age. In terms
(17:24):
of thinking about going out and dating them, all I
can think is I hate them, know to the extent
that when I think when I have to do anything,
like I don't know, go to a dentist, I'm like,
are they a man? Like? I's gotten to that point
where I am that sick of um. I would call
it the male gaze, but it's more of like the
(17:45):
male interaction, you know, I don't I don't want the
male interaction. So I read this to just remind myself
that there are good men out there. So, for instance,
here were some responses. My husband is delaying his retirement
three point five years so I can get my MF
a creative writing besides being the best dad in sharing
household choice and driving responsibilities. I remember one of the
first shows that I booked while we were married. He
(18:07):
surprised me and showed up with cupcakes for the entire crew. Well,
this one is cringe. My husband rewrote the lyrics to
the main theme of Hamilton to be about my debut
novel and singing at my book launch. And it was glorious. Yeah,
that would actually not be okay with me. And it
was glorious. That sounds so defensive, by the way, And
it was glorious, by the way. Before you say fucking word,
(18:33):
you must know that it was glorious. My now husband,
then partner and I decided to alternate nights for who
would get up and had changed the baby. But he
worked from home while I was teaching law school, so
he would routinely suprutunely, he would routunely, he would routinely
say it was his night when he saw I was exhausted.
It took me weeks to notice, Okay, that is really cute.
(18:57):
My husband is my biggest supporter. He reads all my articles.
Why She's gonna listen to any videos or podcasts. I mean,
brags about me to everyone and talks me up when
I'm insecure. I try to be an equally big fan
of his projects and work. It's truly lovely. I try
to be, she says, I try, but it's not always easy.
I just can't believe that men like this exist. I
(19:18):
know I can't either. And also, to your point that
you were saying before, there is a book about this
or something, It's like the childcare will always be the
woman's work no matter what. Parenting is gendered, and women
are biologically engineered to forget. How hard that is every time?
How much is that? It's so dark? It is. I
(19:42):
like it because it's why pain is forgetful, but it's
but it's frustrating that like men are always the ones
who have Like for example, on Love is Blind, which
we'll get to Kwami, which don't worry, we'll get to.
But Kwami has a conversation with Chelsea where she's like,
I think I want to have kids in the next
three years. He's thirty one. I think she's thirty, like
(20:03):
very reasonable in the next three years, and he's like,
and I'm like, by the way, kwami. It's not really
going to affect your life that much, Like you're gonna
lose some sleep, and you're not going to be able
to like maybe like I don't know what he does
in his free time, like go to the bar as
often as you want to. Other than that, it's not
(20:24):
going to affect your life that much. So you get
all the joy and all that stuff and all the
credit of like you're an amazing father. The fact that
you're a father at all means you're so self sacrificing,
and all these women will actually find you more attractive
because you're even able to do that. But the negatives
for you hard to see many, hard to see many.
(20:45):
I also think this. I think that a lot of men,
at least in the stratosphere of LA and New York,
are concerned with being cool. A lot of women are too,
I think just LA in New York in general, I
don't think that care taking is quote unquote cool. And
what I mean by that is that like, you have
to be humbled to caretake, you have to be Okay,
(21:06):
you think that babysitters are losers, that's what you're saying.
I think that moms they grandma's are losers too. I
think anyone who was a baby as a loser. You
think Missus Doubtfire is a huge loser. Good. Someone said
the theme of my birthday party is going to be
the party that makes Sally Fields divorced Robin wiel Fields
(21:30):
missus Deltfire and it really watch that movie. This scene
is insane. You literally, if I walk into my house
and a man was on a table with all children
jumping up and down, I would call nine one one. Yeah.
As someone who doesn't even like the police, I would
call the police say I think that something is going on.
(21:53):
You would say, listen. I don't. First of all, I
don't even like you. I don't want to say that
the second of allus happened, He's had a mosh pit
with children. Something's afoot here. I want to read two
more responses to this Twitter thread. One is Ashley c Ford,
who had a crazy big book that she broke out
(22:14):
with him and it was called Somebody's daughter was in
a bunch of best of lists. She said, my husband
got real sick out of nowhere last year. I ended
up in the er. He was in so much pain
and I felt so bad. I left his side for
ten minutes to use the bathroom and grabbl water. When
I got back to the room, he was telling the
doctor and nurse how to order my book on bookshop
dot org. Then the author of that book posted a
(22:35):
picture of herself next to her husband, and she said,
that's me in the dress receiving a standing ovation, and
that's my husband's my right visibly proud of me. He
quit his job to stay home with the kids after
we got married because my job requires me to travel
a lot, and it is my biggest supporter in all
the things. That's pretty cute. I don't even and this
is why I also think is interesting though, and I
wonder how you feel about it. I don't even know
(22:58):
if I would be able to accept that kind of
love because I would feel so unworthy of it, like,
oh my gosh, no, no, no, don't put your job
but no, no, that's interesting. I don't know if I
could be like, yeah, that would be really helpful, actually
if you could take care of the kids while I worked,
because I don't. And it's so true. It's exactly how
I feel about like wanting to be a mom, where
(23:18):
I do want to be a mom, but I want
to work more than I want to have children at
this point in my life. Well I think that's healthy.
But yeah, it's like to your point, it's like, then, yeah,
imagine if you could be like, well, then I could
actually still work for everything besides like three weeks of
my life, and I would still get to have a
kid and I don't really have to do that much
for it. So yeah, I just think it's interesting that
(23:42):
that is not even usually a conversation with couples. It's
not like okay, well, by the way, like I'm gonna
need help. Maybe it is. I guess it's just I
was never raised too, But most of them I know
weren't raised to like see it. Make sure that the
guy you're with knows that he has to help you
(24:02):
with caretaking and raising children. Yeah. It was always like
marry someone nice, to marry someone who like treats you. Well,
I'm marry someone who's like can land on their own
two feet, is capable. It was never like, marry someone
who knows how to humble themselves and put your career first. Yeah.
I think it's really new still, and I think even
(24:24):
progressive men probably don't know how to do it as
well as they think they do, just like I wouldn't
know how to do the I wouldn't know how to
facilitate that as a woman, I wouldn't know how to
like ask for that. I wouldn't either. Did you want
like helpful advice from me? Because I like, wait, is
this a question? I'm just interested in it. I think
(24:49):
I'm I'm meeting you more with a black hole than
with helpful thoughts. You did just show me your black
hole and I okay, well this is where I think
is interesting too, Okay. I it's been attracted to like
people who are quote unquote cool, like who I want
(25:09):
to be with has usually been like someone who's like
a cool musician or like, oh, send in a Dungeons
and Dragons zoom with your boyfriend. I know that like
cool for you. That's good for you. I like, i'd
like you. I have never been like into Dungeons and Dragons,
and I'm never dressed up in cosplay as a video
game character I have done. This is what's sad about me. Listen, world,
(25:33):
That is how hard I will go in any relationship.
But I'm not sad. It's amazing, I know, but it's
sad that I was like, this is my life now,
like Dungeons and Dragons, We're gonna be going We're gonna
be doing game nights. Okay, you think that's bad nights,
I'm gonna be making sacks for game nights. No, No,
I don't think that's bad. This is what I'm saying.
(25:54):
What's bad is what have I ever gotten? What have
I ever gotten? So not to make everything you just
said about me, or it, don't trip on it, but
not to make everything you said about me. But I
think that's going to have to be pro it's the
same thing that I'm saying, which he's like, I don't
even know how to ask for these things. Yeah, but no,
(26:16):
we could ask for them right by the way, I'm
sure to see the Stasi Schroders of the world who like,
would make you build them a fucking castle. I've said
to a boyfriend, I said, can I ask you a
huge favor? And he said what? And I said, can
you turn the ac down? And he said what? And
he said, that's not a huge favor. But I was like,
but that's how I felt so scared of asking for
(26:37):
stupid little things, because I think it's all low self
esteem and and like societal expectations and stuff. But I
think I can speak for both you and I when
I say like, we both feel sometimes like we're lucky
to even be there. Yes, so I'm like, I, how
dare I ask for something else? And then towards the
end of relationships sometimes though, I'll be like, wait, I
(27:00):
just ask for something, and you started to start building
the evidence of your brain. Don't look my pit stain
when you say, wait, I have shown up in all
these different ways and you can't do you know, dinner
with a coworker of fine, Like I know it kind
of things start to be clear, I know, And it
is that thing where it's like, but yet do I
(27:21):
ask directly that I need the person to be at
the dinner? You know? Like it's like I think a
lot of times I'm like, no, it's good, We're good
because again I'm like, I'm just lucky to even be here.
You don't have to do anything. I think that it
would be really scary for me to ask for all
the things I want. It would be really scary for
me to ask for all the things I want, because
(27:43):
they do start with a pony. I literally thought you
were pointing down to your crotch, and I was like,
all rights, all the quorum, we've lost, all nuanced. We
are going to take a quick commercial break and we
(28:04):
are going to be back with Devin bringing me some
really cutting edge social experiment research. Please stay tuned, and
we're back with true romance. You guys. I had one
(28:24):
thing to do for this podcast, one thing which was
to watch Love Is Blind. You may think, wow, that's
so easy. Why don't you watch Love is Blind before bed?
But you know what that would do. That would prevent
me from watching vander Pump Rules until one am last night. Yeah,
and I simply don't. I wasn't even a choice I made.
I simply forgot. I woke up today and thought that's
(28:45):
something I didn't do. And now I'm here and Devin
is in a position to really have to teach me,
to take me under her wing and tell me about
this new season. Well it is. It's been hard for
all of us to take this on during this time
of vander Pump. Because I heard that someone was like, oh,
are you watching the new Love Is Blind? I'm like, yeah,
with Raven and Plate's Body, Raven and the Clementinees whatever,
(29:08):
They're like, no, no, there's a new one. I'm like
Jesus Christ, like, can we not? Like? I don't need
to ask, I don't need to add this to my docket.
Can I breathe? I know what I want to ask
my partner. Can I breathe? So I need sleep. I
need sleep. I need I mean nothing else really because
(29:28):
I have no job and no prospects and no hope.
But I do need sleep, and I do need to eat,
and I have a cat. So I started my Love
is Blind journey, Love is Blind Seattle, and I was
not disappointed. Brief overview for you all. So so we're
eight episodes and I think we're not done. There's more
to come. It is in Seattle, which I love, but
(29:51):
it starts out in the windowless cavern that we all know. Yeah,
so we have the two most controversial characters of the show,
which is Mica twenty six don't remember her job, but
I do remember she considers herself an end path. And
we'll have Arena twenty five according to her, no shade,
no shade, but like twenty six according to Micah and
(30:12):
twenty five according to Arena. I don't know, like I
do feel like I don't remember twenty five and twenty
six year olds looking that age when I was that age,
but maybe I think wrong. So Arena has business owner
as her thing, and I did have to check that
out today because I'm like, now, this is a woman
(30:33):
who redeeming quality has never fallen into her path, like
she just there's nothing there except for I mean, she's
she and Micah both, so they latch onto each other
and they start like kind of like just being mean
to people in the pods and like laughing at people
and like giggling in the corner, and they end up
(30:55):
both like being those girls who try to fuck up
the other couples, Like my Ka has a thing with Paul,
but she also has a thing with Kwami, And then
Kwami asked her to marry him, and she says no
because she chooses Paul. But then once they get to
the honeymoon, Mica starts flirting with Kwamie again, and she's
like holding his hand and being like, you know, I
always wanted to be you, right, like you know that right.
(31:16):
And meanwhile Arena, who's supposed to be MICA's best friend,
Arena choose this guy Zach, who I mean to be
fair to her is not safe to be around. I
will say, he seems so unwell and strange. I don't
know what it is, but I'll get into him in
(31:37):
a second. I mean, all I have to say is
Zach's thing in the beginning in the Pods was to
tell people to say, like what do you do for work?
And they're like, I'm a dental hygienist. And then they
asked him and he says, I'm a stripper, and then
he says just kidding multiple times. Then eventually he does
this whole monologue where he's like, I've actually decided that,
(31:58):
like today I really need to like get real with
people and like be vulnerable because I'm finding love. So
then he tells people enough of the amazing jokes. Zach
starts saying, Okay, I'm gonna be vulnerable, and then he
tells people, actually his mom is a stripper, and this
is really psychotic. So this is the thing. It's like
very disturbing because then the way he presents it is
like he's embarrassed of it and then like saying like, no,
(32:21):
but I actually think that's amazing, Like it's actually amazing
that she's a stripper. Like provided they need like this
is one oh one therapy. A therapist would have like
untangled that in like ten minutes. What him being like
in the therapist I actually joke about because I'm ashamed
of it and now I have to like get in
front of it. I know. I also imagine he goes
into therapy and he's like, so, what do you do
(32:41):
for a therapist? Well, guess what, I'm a stripper. She's like,
just my mom is though, can we talk about it? Okay?
So that's the red flags about Zach. So he's not
like the best, although I guess he's like sweet. I'm
just like, I don't know. He likes a lot of
eye contact and I will not know. I would not
do well with that, and he's very like kind of
(33:02):
man splaining. I think, like whatever. In the beginning, I
was kind of on Arena's side a little bit because
I was like, wait, this guy is weird and like,
I don't understand him. But then she became so awful.
So then Arena starts double timing not only Zach but
also her only friend, Mica, because Arena starts flirting with
Paul in the Honeymoons, and then Zach, Arena's fiance is
(33:23):
kind of like He's like, I'm not sure if I
feel like a connection here, Like I feel like you don't.
You're not like affectionate towards me at all. And I'm like,
not really sure what's going on. And she was basically like, yeah,
I mean once I had a conversation with Paul, Like
I was like whoa, Like I cannot even stop thinking
about that conversation, like that was like amazing, Like my
conversation with Paul was amazing. And Zach is like, Okay,
(33:44):
so I think we should call it quits here and
move on. So they break up. Yeah, so that's them.
And then Mica immediately released the statement apologizing for bullying
and for her quote unquote emotionally immature behavior on the
show Arena just recently did. And that's what led me
to finally look into, like what is the business that
Arena quote unquote owns? And if you go to her Instagram,
(34:07):
it says like owner or founder of solocode dot and
you might wonder what that is. Okay, it's a website
with a bunch of pictures of like girls with like
trendy lobs and like bottles of champagne, and it says,
there's a section called about end values. That's the name
of the section about and Values. It says, what we do.
(34:30):
We help people create memories of a lifetime by creating
a space that celebrates people life's events and the moments
in between. Life at the Table exists to help build,
shape and share people's stories by creating a unique table
experience of a lifetime. We do this by truly valuing
community and relationships and truly believe people and events should
(34:51):
be celebrated effortlessly and constantly. Period. That's the description of
the business. She just invents the iPhone can' memories. It's
truly it reminds me of that. I think you should
leave things where they're like watching the driver's at videos
and they're like, okay, what does she do for work?
What did she do for work? And they're like, oh
the tables, Like what are they? Life at the Table
(35:13):
exists to help build, shape and share people's stories by
creating a unique table experience of a lifetime. Like I'm like,
what is going on here? Anyway? So that's so loco
and that's Arena's business and that's fascinating. Okay. So meanwhile
we have Chelsea who is the Amanda Knox of the show,
and that she's say I want to roover her. So
(35:37):
she's the girl who's with Kwamie, who therefore she was
betrayed because Kwamie flirted with Mica and the honeymoon. And
by the way, like Chelsea is also the girl on
the season who comes in. You know how there's always
a girl who could not possibly be more in her thirties.
Like she's just like is like I've been on the apps,
(35:57):
I've been doing it. I've been putting it out there.
I've been telling them I've been doing everyone thinks but
like I just need to get married. Like that's her vibe.
So it's like I feel bad for her. I know
she's betrayed, but she's also like her personality is really
not good and so I want to root for her
with this whole Kwami and Mica thing. But then she
says things about how the color pink is really empowering
(36:20):
for her and that's why, like in her apartment she
has a framed pink painting that says MOI with like
a kiss face and like that's really tough. She also
does a lot of like my man, like my man
my husband, like you know, that whole thing, and it's
just so it's just so hard. She also does a
very strange thing that made me think like is everything
(36:43):
okay at home? Because she when Kwami met her dad,
she basically like acted so freaked out, like imagine this
is you. It's like you're about to meet your partner's family,
and your partner is so freaked out it's like palpable.
And then he said he's like, you know, I'm the
one who should be nervous, Like I'm the one who's
like meeting them, and she's like, we're both nervous. This
(37:04):
is scary for both of us. And he's like, well,
it's a little bit different for me because it's like
your family, and she's like, no, we both have to
make a good impression. I was like that before where
an ax of mine when I was really young, was
so terrified when I met his mom and I was
not terrified, and I was like, what's going on? I
was like, I'm good with mom's. Mom's really like me,
and he was like, okay, let's just take a deep breath.
(37:26):
And I was like what why? And then it was
really awkward, mainly because like the vibe was just so nervous,
and I was like, why are we being so nervous? Okay,
but am I now now correct correctly if I'm wrong?
But am I remembering right? I destroyed a bread basket,
you ate the whole bread basket and went and potentially
(37:46):
two bread baskets and under ten minutes. So that's what
they were worried about. So listen, the vibes were weird,
was well, yeah, because I was a nervous because the
vibes were off, and I thought, if you judged me yet,
ye be judged. Yes, that's actually what God says. He said,
God said, if you judge me? And by the way,
(38:07):
when okay, let's think how God. No, but listen, think
about God's time, like when God was in the streets,
when God was a person? Was he ever? I think
he was. I think he was Jim Carrey at one point.
It's like who were his peers? The devil? I think.
So he's saying that to the devil. He's saying, if
you judge me, yes, yes, yet Tim Heidecker was doing this,
(38:31):
uh like fake Joe Rogan sketch. I have to send you,
Oh my God, there was a whole bit where another
comic was like, yeah, I mean, did you hear it?
They found a horn. They found the Devil's Horn. He
was like, oh, they found the horn. That's so interesting.
He's like, yeah, dude, they found the horn where you
(38:52):
have to send the three please, I love there's found
They found the horn. That's so interesting. That's so he's like,
oh my god, I'm obsessed with that. But yes, she's
terrified of him meeting her family and it went fine.
But then you have the other extreme where it's like,
then this girl, Mica, the one who was like, I'm
(39:15):
twenty six and like had to apologize for being emotionally immature.
So MICA's parents meet her new fiance and they're basically
like okay. She's like, by the way, I guess I
didn't even tell you guys, I got engaged. And they're
like wow, okay, and she's like yeah, so like this
is Paul and we're getting married and they're like, nice
to meet you, Paul, and you're like what. And then
(39:36):
afterwards they do a confessional with them and the dad's like,
I don't know, I mean, I trust Mike. I mean, listen,
he could be a serial killer, seems like a nice guy.
And then the mom's like, you know, we love Mica
and whatever makes her happy. So it's one of those
things that makes you think it's like, okay, sometimes it's
hard when your parents judge you. That being said, do
I want my dad to laugh after meeting my fiance
(40:00):
and I didn't even tell him about and say, listen,
you know he could be a serial killer, but he
seems like want care. Care. It's always nice when your parents,
whether you liver, die, Yeah, that is appreciated. Luckily, one
of MICA's friends does care and starts crying inexplicably because
by the way, MICA's like, fiance guy Paul seems completely nice,
(40:22):
if anything, like a little bit dim, but who's not
on this show. Yeah, and he's like a scientific engineer
or something so whatever, but his hands or whatever, I
don't know. He's like running for president or whatever. I
don't know. And then Mica takes him to meet her
friends and by the way, they start like one conversation
with him, and Mike's like, oh my god, I know,
(40:44):
isn't it so hard when he talks all science. It's
like hard to understand him. And her friends are like
what and then one of her friends cries and it's
like I just want you to fight true love, but
like this is not it. And then Mike's like, really,
oh it's not and so I'm just like okay, so
(41:06):
that's tough. Then meanwhile, we have the best couple on
the show, which you would never expect this, by the way,
speaking of people, can humans can You're like, because you
see something, you think you can judge a human by
their cover, but you can't. So there's Brett and Tiffany.
Brett is like incredibly hot guy who's like a designer
(41:29):
or something for Nike, so calm, cool, collected, like dream
guy on the show. Tiffany stunning girls girl. I forget
what she does for work, but she came on. I
think she's in her like mid thirties, and she's like
in a very charming way, like I'm like nervous about
like being one of the older people on the show,
but I just really want to meet someone. Like you're
(41:50):
just rooting for her, Okay, you're rooting for them both.
They're having an amazing connection. He almost right away, Brett
almost right away is like I'm just going to propose
to her, Like I don't want to be with any
anyone us. And by god does he start doing the
proposal and what do you hear through the microphone from
her pod? You're gonna hear some snoring. She fell asleep.
(42:13):
So he gives this heartfelt proposal about how he's never
met someone like this exactly. So then he hears nothing
and he's like hello, hello, and there's nothing, and he's
like so upset. He's like, oh my god, Wow, what
just happened? Which has happened? He leaves. Then Chelsea comes
in and she's like Tiffany, hey, babes, like your date's over.
(42:34):
And at first it's so funny because at first she
wakes up and she's like Hi, Oh my god, Hi,
And then Chelsea's like, your date's over. And Tiffany's like, wait, Brett, Wait,
where's Brett? And they're like he left and she's like oh,
She's like oh shit, shit, shit shit. So then she
goes back and she apologizes to Brett and she's like,
I fell asleep. The filming hours are so long, like
(42:56):
I can't believe I did that, but like the reason
I fell asleep is because your voice is so soothing,
and like I love talking to you so much and
please forgive me, and he's like, um, I forgive you,
like will you be my wife? And it's like so
cute and they're perfect. Okay, that's the silver lining. Now
what is the Devil's lining? Speaking of the devil, then
there's Jacquelina and Marshall, who start out so cute, except
(43:19):
that there is like a little bit of like drama
because Marshall and this she's into Marshall and another guy.
The other guy's really fucking annoying and Marshall's basically like
choose me. But anyway, I loved them. I was really
rooting for them. I think she has like some family
trauma that she has like vaguely touched on in the show,
but she hasn't gone deep. It seems like, and I
(43:40):
don't know who to blame because I never want to
blame the woman, but it seems like because it seems
like because of trauma, Jacquelina has like started a fight
with Marshall over nothing, like I think she's basically pushing
him away a story of relationships and trauma, Like she's
like suddenly being like you're not man enough, Like you're
like all this off and you're like oh Jesus Christ.
(44:02):
But I think she's just one of those people who
wasn't maybe well enough to be on reality television. And
I feel like producers are there, they're well, they're in
a sticky spot because people like Kristin Dodi or Jack
Taylor happen to make very good television. Now if I
were producing those shows, would I trust these people to
(44:24):
maybe not hurt another fellow human being, to be okay
to maybe not you know, drive into a river? No?
I love it, and I'm so I'm always like, how
do these Bachelor producers find the most unhinged people and
feel like they're okay to put on camera? I know
you're already crazy, and we're gonna put you in an
intense atmosphere that would push anyone to their limit, But
(44:48):
you want to But this is the thing, Carolina. You
want to talk about God's times? Then what is that
the Devil's lining? No, that's close too, that's close to
what's that guy's name? That what's the gladiator? That's close
to those times? So this is what God was around?
Then I definitely God is alive, probably by the time
(45:09):
of that guy the Gladiator. So I'm just saying this
has always been the way. It's like for people who
are like, oh, reality TV is bad for your brain,
It's like, oh, so then you think the gladiator holding
his thumb up for people getting mauled to death was
bad for his brain. Oh you tell him that that
You're you're saying, like the reality TV has always has existed.
I'm trying to I'm just trying to parse out your
(45:31):
argument for people listening. I'm saying, anyone who's ever made
fun of me for watching reality TV, try your hand
at being in the colosseum with whatever a bowl or
a tiger or whatever they throw in there, all to
death by a tiger. That's all I'm saying. That's all.
It's reality TV or that. Which are you gonna choose?
(45:53):
That's all. It's one of those things. It's like astrology.
It's like, you know what, life is hard, don't make
fun of me. Don't criticize me for things that bring
me joy, for things, you know, lower my blood pressure.
I you know, does read my horoscope? Does it ever
like hit right on the money? Probably not, But does
it help me all the time? It relax me, yes
(46:13):
all the time. Yeah. That being said, the book's cosmic
coupling and sex strology are really necessary for anyone who
is wanting to do research on their significant other. I
love them so much. Well, see you at the Devil's Lining.
That's all I gotta say. See what my favorite club
slash underwear lingerie line, the Devil's Lining. It's actually underwear
(46:37):
that you can wear exclusively on your period and it
never stains because it's the Devil's Lining. Well by Endorse.
I really feel like we've learned so much about literature,
about film. Maybe this is one of my favorite episodes.
Maybe I need to just always be like this, depressed
before an episode. Sometimes the greatest art comes from pain
(47:00):
that bad go, that's what he was talking about. That's
what Bano was talking about. I think that's actually a
direct quote. Sometimes the greatest art comes from pain. Bang.
That's what he was saying with the ear because, let
me tell you, like, I've never liked that whole ear thing.
I think that's growth, But now I get it. I
always thought the ear thing was weird. I never got it.
I like, you actually a direct quote. Man's girlfriend. She's like,
(47:28):
what do you do? That's Katie Maloney racting to look
like anything quait. Oh my god, you sound exactly like her.
No offense. Well that is a little bit offense. And
I want to say something about Katie for her. Why
I don't know, but I am too in that beret.
(47:48):
You think that you can't ever endorse someone who wears
a beret like that, but you can. And by the way,
humans canas should block to see if it was still
a pucker and poud, it's not. I don't think and
pucker and pout. I was like, you better have an
asshole as your as your tattoo as your tattoo. Okay,
(48:10):
because she has that lifts tattoo, it looks like an asshole.
All right, we gotta go. We gotta go what we
who are we getting doing? This isn't God's time where
there was so much time in the world because they
had no books your days when God was around. We have,
we have stuff to watch. We gotta go read one
history book. Yeah, we gotta we gotta know. We always
(48:32):
say we're gonna read one history book. We never do.
We're gonna do it. We're not gonna do it. Okay,
love you by it, so Sorro, love me baby, don't
(49:04):
leave me again. I want you
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