July 11, 2024 • 34 mins
‘Breaking’ makes its Olympic debut and Matt and Bowen need to get familiar with all the breakdancing lingo! This episode of the Two Guys, Five Rings podcast introduces you to the faces of the sport, and reveals if either of our hosts can ‘top rock’ or ‘freeze’? Also, hear about the changes being made to artistic swimming, and which Taylor Swift song Matt insists must be included. Plus, our hosts explain how lasers can help shape the future of the Olympics beyond Paris!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Ring ring.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hello, Hi, it's us.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It's us two guys, five rings, Matt Rodgers and Bawn Yang.
This is our Olympics podcast. It's off to the races.
I mean, it's quickly claimed. At this point, we're four
episodes in. We can only assume anyway.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
We can only assume that we've already won some awards
for this. Now, Matt, when I say the word newness,
m what is the free song? What's the sensation inside
you that you feel?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Can I be honest? Yes, When you say newness, I
think efficiency, cleanliness, I think low stress. Really yeah, newness.
Remember I'm a city planner, so when I think newness,
I think practicality. I'm always thinking like how do we
get from place to place? You know what I mean? Like?
How do we make things clearer? How do we make
(00:55):
things easier?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Here's what I think about where we're at in society.
We need to call we need to make things more streamlined.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Yes, okay, I'm with you. What about well, I guess
I'm thinking more in terms of like there's a new
blank in town. As Vanessa Williams once said famously in
the trailer for her Desperate House Life season is in your.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
House in town. See, I'm I guess I'm just I'm
so stuck on like how we make things work that
I'm not thinking about like new stuff. But maybe I'm
thinking about a lot of repackaging. That's what I'm thinking of.
I'm like, how do we move? I have very Tomorrowland
sense of newness, but you're thinking of frontier.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I'm thinking of frontier Land and not tomorrow Land. But
I guess they're both kind of the same concept, right,
it's thinking about the future. Can I say what I
think of when I think of newness? Yeah, I think
of We call it a burst in graphic design. It's
like on a bag of chips. Let's say, when it
says new flavor, Like there's like it's like it's like
(01:59):
that little circle with a bunch of rays poking out
like bursts. It's a burst like new flavor. Yeah, new
phone model, new car model, Yeah, yeah, I love new carsmell.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Oh my god, I just got a new air freshener.
So excited?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Is it new car? Smell?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
No, you know what it is?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Well, then I don't know why you brought it up.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I think we're talking about factory settings. Yeah, and I
love that.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
You know what, I completely understand that, and I think
for the purposes of this episode, we should go with
more what you're thinking, because there's there's a lot of new,
really exciting stuff happening at the Paris twenty twenty four Olympics,
and there's even some new events.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
There's one new event specific.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
There's even one new event.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
There's one new event, and there's one event that has
a new.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Name, yeah, and a sort of a new edge and
a new edge. There's a new bombshell at the Villa.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
There's a new bombshell at the Villa, as Venizza Williams
once said, it's a new attitude, as Patti LaBelle said,
oh yeah. And one some of these events have new rules,
as du Alipa said, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, I think she did say that, and I would
agree that it applies here. Just before we get into
the five rings section of the show, I want to
stay in the two guys section and it does relate
to one of these new events. So just spoiler alert
for the five rings section. The new event is breaking, yes,
literally breakdancing, and I want to ask you Bowen in
(03:27):
any point in your life. Were you someone who break danced? No?
And were you? Were you ever? Because I just I
don't know why I have this image of Young Boon
Yang in my head, like young you like talking about
like seven or eight years old, like absolutely popping, locking, dropping,
like doing breakdancing. I just in my minds, I see
you as a very excited, spry child. Was a new
(03:49):
dance around a plenty.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
You thought I was. You thought I was biting. I'm
just looking at some of these breaking terms biting. You
thought it a powerhead. I was a cipher cat. A
powerhead is someone who loves to practice, to mostly practice
and perform power moves in their breaking. A cipher is
like a circle that breaks form and dance in. If
(04:13):
you're at a breaking event, you'll just see multiple ciphers
around the room happening while the DJ spins music in
between breaks and the competition wow breakers going to cipher
when at a time to dance. Okay, we need to
save this for the actual five rings portion, because there
is a lot of fun stuff happening and breaking that
I would love to talk about.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
To just get into one hundred percent. But I do
have to say, like, just because you. Bowen Yang is
famously like famously a Dance Dance Revolution icon. Like when
he was younger, he would go play GDR and that's
why I learned, like really throw it in the face
of everyone that worked there, and like really shut down
any competition that stepped towards him. Yeah, and I just
(04:51):
I don't know. I just think of this. I think
of Dance Dance Revolution as breaking adjacent and so I
guess that's why I brought it up. That's why I
associated a potential with you.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
That's very nice. Look, maybe if this is the matrix
we're living in, and it is, you know, Morpheus can
give me the little can download that into me. Yeah,
and I will learn it and I will know it.
But not here, not in this matrix.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Can everything just fall away from one second? And let
me ask you a question. Red pill or blue pill?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Neither? Oh my god, I'm staying.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
They're gonna kill you. They're gonna kill you if you
don't choose, They're gonna kill you.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Here's where I'm pilled Olympics pilled.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Is that I is that where pilled came from?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I think like you're red pilled, you're blue pilled, Like
it's oh.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Wow, So being something pilled actually dates to the matrix.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
That's where I draw the connection.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah, that's where you stop asking questions.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
And so I guess I'm blue pilled.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
And thank you for answering my question. And see, that's
why you have to always think like a lawyer in
the way that I just did like a lawyer, because
you have to get people to admit something in a
roundabout way when they refuse the first time I asked
you a direct question or you read pilled or blue pilled,
and then I had to ask follow up questions based
on your psyche, and I eventually got to the fact
that you are blue pilled. You don't want to know
(06:20):
the truth.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
You would be a trial lawyer when you like the performance.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I did tell you that. Like when I was younger,
that's what I wanted to be. I wanted to be
a lawyer. I love to get up and sort of
twirl in front of people and say and isn't it true?
But actually, if you know that, you can't really say
and isn't it true, because that's leading the way leading.
So all these movies and television shows you've seen where
a lawyer said and isn't it true, mister Belafonte, that
(06:46):
you did this objection constructing the jury? Is that one
of them there's leading the witness, badgering the witness hearsay
asked An answered, which is my favorite. I love when
someone is talking to me in real life and they
have said this a million times and say this and
I go objection, asked An answered.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Can I tell you mine what objection? Why is this relevant?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Relevant? Objection? Relevant, irrelevant?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Blonde and legally blonde. That the prosecution literally was just.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Like, WHOA, I have a point, I promise, then they
make it.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
But I think that lawyer goes, why is this relevant?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yep? So good, yep, objection? Why is this relevant? That
lawyer turned it? That lawyer as another iconic line, when
I reached with this, Phene comes into the jury and
she's gonna represent Ellie Larder, and the other lawyer goes,
I have no problem with this.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
And when Shutney confesses like they cut to her and
she goes her jaw drops.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I didn't mean to shoot him the door. Oh my god,
oh my.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
God, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Levond is, without a doubt, the greatest film of all time,
of all of our generations. It would win a gold
medal to match her blonde hair if they gave medals
for film, but they don't. They give oscars for film,
and the movie was what snubbed.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
When we come back from our break, we will go
into by rings and talk about the new sports and evats.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
See after the ranking on the bend.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
We're back.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
We're back to talk about I mean at number one
on what's happening. What's new is the fact that breaking
is the loan sport making its Olympic debut. Now, we
talked a little bit before this break about what breaking is,
but by definition, the official definition from the Olympics of
breaking is the dance battle sport characterized by acrobatic movements,
(08:57):
stylized footwork, and the key role by the DJ and
the MC during battles. This is really fascinating.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
There is going to be an Olympics DJ on the
floor and an MC depending on the matchups for this event.
I am so excited. I'm true. When I found out
about this last year, I was so thrilled, gooped gagged.
I was like, I can't wait to watch this popcorn
(09:26):
in the bowl on my lefe.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
It's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be really really, really cool.
So the NBC. Our friends at NBC have said the
sports techniques include top rock, which is standing footwork, and
down rock, which is moves on the floor. So top
rock when you're vertical, downrock when your horizont Then there's
power moves, which are twists and spins, and the freeze
(09:47):
when breakers freeze and poses while using their heads or
hands for support. So that's that thing of like where
they're sort of using you know, their body weight and
like defying gravity as it were if Alphabet were a judge.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Can you perform a for me right now?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yeah? Ready?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yes, that wasn't so good?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
That was good. Can I tell you something. I could
never be a breaker. Never. I'm more of a someone
who rolls his body than my hit.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
You have to move, you can't praise, You can't.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
See this when I'm doing a very sexy movement with
my shoulders and this is more my thing.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Your more perpetual motion. And this is about stopping.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yeah, this is about control and I have almost none.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
What I'm excited about is it seems like they're really
honoring the history of breaking as it relates to hip
hop history. Our NBC friends are saying sport originated in
a rec room in the Bronx where legendary DJ named
cool Herk debuted a new technique that's centered around percussive
breaks in songs. So this is when in the breaks
(10:52):
people would start dancing, and so that created the term
break dancing. So breaks are central to the form to
this event.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yeah, there's a gold medal favorite bee Boy Victor and
then Sonny Choi or B Girl Sonny is also competing.
Do you know B Girl Sonny?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I met Sonny in Can last summer. We were hanging
out for promotional things for NBC stuff. She is the
coolest girl. I met her beautiful partner. They are so
lovely together. She's got the partner. He's so cool. But
hello again. From the podcast Airwaves, she was working at
(11:35):
Esday latter.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
This is amazing.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
This is what you forget is these Olympians have the
day jobs and they are oftentimes so fascinating, especially in
relation to the events that our Olympians perform in.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah, this says she was director of Global Creative Operations
at Esday Lauder and she quit that job to focus
on breaking full time. That's insane, like people are leaving
really great jobs to fulfill their passion and it's taken
them all the way to the Olympics. But we should
do an episode about all these athletes day jobs. Someone
write that down.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Someone write that down. I think we could go in
the Olympic Village, as we said last episode and kind
of do a Man on the Street TikTok style or
you know, wide video. It doesn't have to be vertical.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Bring back Man on the Street.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
They're trying to but some of these TikTok people don't
have it. They don't have no to borrow return from
gen Z there is. Back in my day, man on
the Street was you had to have something, You had
to have the X factor. Ross Matthews in turn Ross
at the Tonight Show. Billy Eichner one of the best
to ever do it, one of the best people to
(12:44):
be on the street. I would love to be on
the Olympic Village square with my sister Matt Rogers and
ask these people what their day jobs are slash worse
slash will be.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
We would do great work there because can I say,
back in the day when Bowen and I were coming up,
you had to do everything you had to be an
actor a writer. You have to be able to, you know,
sing your music. You had to write your music that
you sang, otherwise you'd never get a deal. You would
have to be able to dance or at least move
and do a choreography. And you'd have to be able
to do Man on the street and.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Make your own posters for your shows. But more importantly
man on the street.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I have a question about breaking. Is it binary or no?
Is it everyone's competing altogether? I is binary.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I think there is a man in women's breaking event. Hold,
let's look this up. Breaking confirmed binary? Confirmed binary? Who
confirmed it?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
No, I'm just saying in a world where we can
confirm it, it is a confirmed binary sport. I am interested
to hear, because.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yes, yes, there's b boying and be girling events. All right,
sixteen b boys and be girls competing for two metal events.
What if your men went from women? IOC president Thomas
Box stated that they added break dancing as part of
an effort to draw more interest from young people in
the Olympics. Well, if I count as young, which I don't,
and it's working.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Oh absolutely, I think I'm excited about this. First and foremost, now,
but also this next event we're going to talk about
in terms of newness. You know, this is more my
definition of newness, like, how do we make it more
streamline inclusive, how do we make it streamline? How do
we really say what this is? So it's no longer
synchronized swimming, and guess what it kind of never really was.
(14:21):
It's artistic swimming. Artistic swimming is what we are calling
the sport in which we see people in the water
give art pop. This is the most art pop event
we have seen thus far. There's breaking which is up
there in terms of art pop, and then artistic swimming. Now,
whenever I get in the water, consider it artistic swimming.
(14:44):
By the way, I'm giving art pop whenever I swim.
But there's been major changes to this event to really
take it to the next level. For example, men are
now allowed on teams. Congrats to men.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
We have to be more inclusive to men. Let them
swim dance, Let them swim dance, let them do a
Buzzby Berkeley routine in the water. For God's sake, For
the first time in the history of the Olympics, male
artistic summers will be allowed to compete in Paris. Up
to two men per country may compete in the team competition,
so not more than two. I guess baby steps, baby steps,
(15:15):
But I really want to see a bunch of guys
in a circle kicking their legs up doing the same move,
and then a champagne, a big champagne coup rises out
of the water, and then there's more guys on that
I'm I want. There should be a Buzzby Berkeley metal
event for artistic swimming in the future, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
This can evolve, and it has evolved, and it can
evolve to be what you want it to be.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
It can for LA twenty twenty eight, we're thicking ahead,
could be something that we consider.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Could be something. Wow. To think that in four years
the Olympics are going to be here in La in
my backyard.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
So cool.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
This is so freaking cool for the so but yeah,
so if you go out there and you call it
like synchronized swimming, you're going to sound like a rube
a rub and you'll be shamed for it.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
In the village.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
A lot of people asking how do artistic swimmers hear
the music? Because famously Bowen, I don't know if you've
tried this, but when you swim underwater, it can become
difficult to.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Hear sound waves travels.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah, sound it's so, but it is different. I mean
everything's just a little bit more different underwater. It's kind
of like going to Vire Island. How time works differently there. Yeah,
it's like sound works differently underwater. NBC has this to say,
a set of underwater and pool side loudspeakers allows swimmers
to hear their music and stay in sync, whether submerged
or performing with their heads above the surface. So they're
(16:42):
playing the music underwater basically. So it's like a hard
rock hotel. You ever been to a hard rock hotel
and gone under the water in the pool.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I can't say that I have, but now I want to.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
I'll take you. I'll take you. We'll go to hard
rock hotel. Oh, you create at the NBC Universal Resort.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yes, I just want a pool like this anywhere. I
don't think hard about hotel should have a monopoly on
pools with speaker systems underwater. Like I would love for
this to be a feature in a fire Island house. Yeah,
in a house on the beach in Miami. Not on
the beach but you know, like a house, a house
(17:22):
in Miami, I should say listen.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I think if you want a home with a pool
that has an underwater speaker, I think you can do that.
You just got to keep working. You've got to keep working,
just keep keep the money coming in, and then you
can put all that money invested into a pool with
an underwater speaker, and then you can get what you want. Bowen,
But you have to you have to make these things happen.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
But here's the thing. I know my worth internally, and
it is definitely worth a pool with an underwater speaker system.
I am worth at least that much.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Well let's see.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I want to talk about the five rules of artistic swimming.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Yes, it's really important to know the rules, yes, Purtacey,
if swimming dot org, these are rules for life as well. Yeah,
so I've went out there looking to become an artistic swimmer.
Just know that these are the basic tenants.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Never touch the bottom except me, You can't touch the
bottom of the pool at any time. Just keep treading
water and things will work out for you.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah. But if it's bow when you may touch the
bottom next. You don't need bling, no jewelry, no theatrical makeup,
no inappropriate costumes. If you look at photos of artistic swimmers,
they all still look fabulous. So we're keeping it very minimalist.
It should be about the swim dancing, not the extra coutrement. Okay,
this isn't a drag show. This isn't Rue Paul's artistic
swimming Olympics event. Keep it simple, keep it classy, keep
(18:45):
it together.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Keep it unembellished and unadorned.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Next, the more people, the better. Teams normally contain eight swimmers,
but the minimum number for a team is four. You
lose points when you have fewer swimmers because it's easier
to synchronize with you. We're swimmers, although I guess we
are up to two men per country they can be
in the team competition. So maybe there's a certain composition
that is specific to the Olympics, but that seems to
(19:10):
be the general rule of thumb for artistic swimming events outside.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
So the more people, the better, like you could probably
you would look more impressive if it was sixteen people
all swimming instead of just two. But I will say
if it is just two, you can probably because you
only have two people to look at. You can probably
see the mistakes. Oh then again, it is the Olympics,
so they're not going to really make mistakes exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
But it's like, gosh, somebody, the commentators and the judges
for the synchronized diving, those eyes are trained because they
are picking up on things that I'm like, how did
you possibly see that? Yeah, but these are experts, y'all.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Next rule, stick to the schedule of people. Routines can
be anything from two and a half minutes to five minutes,
but you'll be penalized if your routine is off by
fifteen seconds. Oh wow, so you really it's like there
is a program. Your song is your song, hit your
beats and do not overstay.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
This is I don't know, this is very I take
an issue with this because what if someone wants to
do a routine to a mordem a Vie by Billie Eilish.
That's a seven minute song I think.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
You couldn't do but Daddy I Love Him by Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Certainly an All Too Well ten minute version.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
No, you couldn't even do the regular version of All
Too Well. And honestly, I want to see that swam
dance too. I want to see someone artistically swim to
All too Well more than I want most things. And
I want so much, bo I want so much in life.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
But how badly do you want this?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Not bad enough that I'm willing to make an issue
with the Olympic Committee. But I'm not happy about this
rule at all. And I have integrity, and I know
so do you, and so we're speaking up on this
podcast to say this rule is book and they need
to be able to extend it a little bit, to adjust,
include the length of Taylor Swift All too Well, because
we have as a culture have not heard that song enough,
(21:00):
and we haven't talked about that song.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Enough now, and we certainly haven't swam to it artistically enough.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Until we do. This conversation is ongoing.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Absolutely, no goggles is the last rule. This rule may
not be a great rule for life. If you want
to wear goggles in real life for any reason, you
can wear goggles as long as if.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You want to wear goggles, wear goggles.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
As long as you're not obstructing your own view for
something that requires your attention, if you're not operating haaving
machinery in quitting.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
A car, or if you want to compete in this
Olympic event because no goggles, that's the rule. Honestly, chlorine
is such a problem when you dive into these waters
and you open up your eyes down there, like chlorine
is going to be a major issue. So I my
heart goes out to these artistic swimmers.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
They're bloodshot, they're blood shot. Finally, let's talk about a
new ish event, which is surfing. But the news here
is that it is not going to be in parissed
because you're thinking it's a landlocked city. They're certainly not
going to surf on the river, sin are they? Where
are they surfing?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Now? Well, it will take place in Tahiti. We're gonna
cut to Tahiti. We're gonna be leaving the Parisian streets
like Eiffel Tower. We'll check back in with you in
a second, because the Paris surfing competition will take place
in Tahiti, which is ten thousand miles away. The setting
has been called breath takingly beautiful and punishingly tricky. Wow.
(22:25):
This sport made its Olympic debut in the twenty twenty
Tokyo Games. It's new ish. There are two surfing events,
Men's short board and women's shortboard. And by the way,
a short board is a smaller surfboard, generally in the
five to seven foot range, designed for maximum speed through turns.
So you're gonna be seeing your twists, your turns, your dips,
your dives on these shorter boards than usual.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
I can't even wrap my head around surfing. If you're
telling me you're supposed to do it faster.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I know, listen, it's one of those things you're not
gonna see me try. I'm not gonna try surfing now.
I'm not gonna try skiing now.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I just I think feel like frustrating. I think you
would You think I would like skiing.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
You always say this, but it's like, I don't know.
I think I'd like a ski atmosphere.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Don't you want to feel like Gwyneth? Don't you want
to feel.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Like what crashing into men? Give me a break. If
I want to feel like Gwyneth, I'll go to Goop kitchen. Okay,
she did really good work with that.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I'm sure that sounds good to me.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Now, do you know what goofy footed means? Do you
know what it means to be goofy footed? When you
serve means you go, that was really good. Lorn bone
as a goofy bone, as a goofy bone as a
goofy could be interesting. Olympics are coming up. Goofy footed.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
No, of course I know what goofy footed means. It
means a surfer who serves with their right foot forward.
I think I would be goofy footed. No, no, I
think I'm regular footed, which is the left foot.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
We should start calling gay guys goofy footed. Well, you
know he's goofy footed.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
He's goofy footed. Hmm, what does that mean?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
He serves with the right foot forward. If you catch
my meaning, if you gather my meaning, I don't. A
regular footed describes a server who serves with their left
foot forward, also called natural footed in Australia.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Now maybe that's why I'm leaning towards that. I'm a
very natural person. So that's why I'm thinking maybe I'm
regular footed. It's the way God wanted me to surf,
which is not to surf.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Body made right, body made right, God created.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Now I want to say this name to you, and
I want you to tell me picture her in your
mind's eye. Carissa Moore.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
First of all, I play her in a movie. Carissa
Moore is definitely my name in the film.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yes, well, guess what this is what the movie's about.
It's about coming back for more after you took home
the gold for surfing in Tokyo. But guess what those
were some depressing Olympics, weren't they. Now she's back for
the I'm sorry, the real thing, the real thing in Paris,
and she's coming back to the gold for women's shortboard.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I support her. I feel very connected to her without
really knowing at all anything about her besides what you
just said or what she looks like. Carisa Moore, When
you strap that little strap onto your ankle, I don't
care if you're goofy footed or regular footed. You have
both of these goofs in your corner. Two goofy footed
podcast hosts want you to take home the gold more
(25:25):
than anything, sister, and we're gonna be watching and willing
your victory.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
There are several other new events that come out. We'll
just run through them quickly before we give our medals out.
There's women's bantamweight added in boxing to get closer to
parody among genders, and men's light heavyweight has been dropped.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Men's and women's extreme k one for the canoe slalom.
Am I saying that right, slalom slalom, mixed team skeet
for shooting skeet skt sket skeet skeet, thank you. Sport
climbing wereorganized into speed events men and women, and combined
bouldering and lead events rather than a single event comprising
(26:07):
all three disciplines.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
I am so excited about this next one. There's mixed
team thirty five kilometer racewalk. Do you know the racewalk
is a very competitive thing?
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yes, but is it interesting to watch to you as
a track as a former truck star.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
As a former track star. Let me tell you something. Yes,
my best friend was a racewalker and her name was Sam,
and she was one of the best racewalkers. And it's
there's so much more to it than you think, and
there's so much more to it that makes it difficult.
Like one foot has to be on the ground at
all times, and they're watching you the entire time to
(26:44):
make sure that's the case. And like it's a very
technical thing.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
I mean thirty five kilometers long, so these people, the
judges are focused up watching the ground making sure one
foot is on it at all times for a while.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it's actually really hard to not
pick up your both feet when you're competitively moving, like
as someone who ran a four thirty six mile. Wow,
I know that both my feet were off the ground
during much of that. I could not have moved very
quickly had I had my one foot on the ground
at all times. Like all respect to these people, I
wonder at an Olympic racewalker what their mile time is
(27:22):
racewalking I've been. It's shockingly low.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Of course, of course it is. Can I say something? Yeah,
I don't see myself as a bee boy, and that's
your fantasy about me. But my fantasy about myself is
that I would compete in the racewalk. I'm a fast walker.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
You would be amazing. I'm telling you, bowhen Yang, walking
with a purpose is Olympic racewalk material. And I very
confident saying that I put you up against any of
these people. I think if you learned form, we would
see the first ever Saturday Night Live cast member Olympic racewalker.
And that is your legacy. I think.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
You would be.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
You're already like such an apple of NBC Universal's eye.
If you went and competed in the racewalk, I don't know, Bowen,
I think you could take over the world.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Could be very cool.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I would be so emotional on the sidewalk, on the sidewalk,
on the sidelines, watching your racewalk.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
You'll be on the sidewalk.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I'd be like wiping away to yours, like my sister
is out there.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Walking thirty five kilometers. Well overall, Matt, wouldn't you say
that the Olympics are very open to new.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Sports queer Olympics this year. The openness, the inclusivity, I'm
loving it. Should we give it our medals?
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Let's give it our medals. I would say Bronze goes
to surfing. Surfing in Tahiti, even.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
If it's not as new. I mean, it's a little
bit new, and I love that we're like, we're so
committed that we're actually going to cut all the way
to Tahiti. But it gets bronze because to be honest
with you, like we are really focused on how to
make Paris a good experience. So that's cute for y'all.
I do kind of feel like, oh, it's a bummer
they don't get to experience like the opening ceremony, et cetera.
But it's like all the best to them, it's just
(29:06):
really giving bronze.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Oh no, I think they're gonna be at the opening
ceremony and then I think the surfing event's gonna be
later on, Like they're gonna they're gonna fly them out
in the days afterwards.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Really is that like tenable though? I mean, like, are
you gonna want to jel Yeah? I don't know. I'm
interesting to hear more about this, and there's many more
episodes of the podcast, so we'll figure out.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I think Carisa Moore deserves to be at the opening
ceremony on a boat.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
No doubt that charism Moore deserves that. But is it practical?
It's my only question. I guess Carissa would be the
one to ask.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
I think Chrisa is gonna push for that. Where's her
Olympic village?
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I agree? I agree. I hope they build a tiny
one into EATI yeah, like an installation. Yes, silver Metal
I think is going to go to artistic swimming. I
think that we've taken such positive steps forward. I think
now we know the rules, we really know what to watch.
I do think they could have really gotten the gold
medal here had they loud a length of competition that
(30:03):
would include Taylor Swift's all too well, it's just it's
stopping me from really being excited.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah, there's still a lot of limitations that need to
be undone for the full potential of artistics swimming to
be unlocked.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
For such an open Queer Olympics. It feels sad, sad.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
And finally I think we're gonna get gold to breaking
as the lone new sport. This is huge, This is historic,
and I think it'll really make a huge splash in Paris,
and then it has the potential to make an even
bigger impact in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
So La Breaking is gonna go really wild. It's gonna
be very exciting. And can I say I've not met
Bee Girl Sonny. I know Bowen has. I am rooting
for be Girls Sonny as I'm sure you are.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
You guys would get along same as I'm excited. Oh
my gosh, she is one to root for and watch.
We have one question. We have one final question, ask
each other after the break and we're back. Matt. This
is what I was trying to get at earlier. The
(31:11):
Olympics are very open to new sports. As we've seen,
they are an evolving body and evolving events evolving. I mean,
this resembles nothing like the Greek Games of antiquity.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
We've come a long way since ah increase absolutely.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
What sports do we want to see in the twenty
twenty eight Summer Olympics in la We are an official
NBC Olympics podcast. I think we get to say, are
there any activities we're really good at that we law before?
Speaker 2 (31:39):
I'm not good at this, but I would like to
see hopscotch out of to the Games. I think that
hopscotch is international. I think it would remind people of
what it was like to be a child. And I
think that what we're not seeing enough of is embracing
of the inner child. Yes, I think that artistic swimming
takes us closer, because who among us can't remember splash splash,
(32:02):
taking a bath as a young kid and having fun
in the water and sort of, you know, learning to
express yourself under the water like artistically like and thinking, oh,
I wish there was music underneath the surface, and now
there is. I just I feel like we're moving in
a really positive direction there in terms of reconnecting the
inner child and like allowing the fantasy. We need Hopscotch
to be an Olympic sport. Bowen, what would you add
(32:25):
to the Summer.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Olympics Something laser based. It could be laser tag, could
be dodging lasers to steal a piece of.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Art, both both Olympic lasers.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
I think lasers should be an event.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Yes, okay, wait, that's really good. So like it's almost
like a triathlon where it's like the first room is
a room where you have to make it through sort
of Catherine Zaanda Jones and entrapment, like sort of get
through like the lasers. Then you get to a laser tag,
a moment where they give you a gun and you
have to like make your way through a room. And
then the last.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
One is chasing a laser dot like a cat.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, or you there's a hairy man on a table
in front of you and you have to do a
laser procedure on him.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Oh my god, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Every time we're thinking about it, every way we can
make this man hairless, and we're checking every fold. A
lot of hairy guys in France too, we could have
done this.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Oh, my God, not.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Enough Harry guys in La. All these gay guys.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Getting theirself waxed, getting their peaches defudged.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
This has been yet another episode of Two Guys, five Rings.
We are off to the races. This podcast was critically acclaimed.
We are really capitalizing on the moment and we are
delivering crucial Olympic commentary. Watch every moment of the twenty
twenty four Paris Olympics beginning July twenty sixth on Nbcnpeacock
(33:51):
and for the first time, you can stream the twenty
twenty four Paris games on the iHeartRadio app. Come on now,
the future is now. Do that's me sort of beatboxing?
(34:16):
Anyway later, heybye,
Ring ring.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hello, Hi, it's us.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It's us two guys, five rings, Matt Rodgers and Bawn Yang.
This is our Olympics podcast. It's off to the races.
I mean, it's quickly claimed. At this point, we're four
episodes in. We can only assume anyway.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
We can only assume that we've already won some awards
for this. Now, Matt, when I say the word newness,
m what is the free song? What's the sensation inside
you that you feel?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Can I be honest? Yes, When you say newness, I
think efficiency, cleanliness, I think low stress. Really yeah, newness.
Remember I'm a city planner, so when I think newness,
I think practicality. I'm always thinking like how do we
get from place to place? You know what I mean? Like?
How do we make things clearer? How do we make
(00:55):
things easier?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Here's what I think about where we're at in society.
We need to call we need to make things more streamlined.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Yes, okay, I'm with you. What about well, I guess
I'm thinking more in terms of like there's a new
blank in town. As Vanessa Williams once said famously in
the trailer for her Desperate House Life season is in your.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
House in town. See, I'm I guess I'm just I'm
so stuck on like how we make things work that
I'm not thinking about like new stuff. But maybe I'm
thinking about a lot of repackaging. That's what I'm thinking of.
I'm like, how do we move? I have very Tomorrowland
sense of newness, but you're thinking of frontier.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I'm thinking of frontier Land and not tomorrow Land. But
I guess they're both kind of the same concept, right,
it's thinking about the future. Can I say what I
think of when I think of newness? Yeah, I think
of We call it a burst in graphic design. It's
like on a bag of chips. Let's say, when it
says new flavor, Like there's like it's like it's like
(01:59):
that little circle with a bunch of rays poking out
like bursts. It's a burst like new flavor. Yeah, new
phone model, new car model, Yeah, yeah, I love new carsmell.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Oh my god, I just got a new air freshener.
So excited?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Is it new car? Smell?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
No, you know what it is?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Well, then I don't know why you brought it up.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I think we're talking about factory settings. Yeah, and I
love that.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
You know what, I completely understand that, and I think
for the purposes of this episode, we should go with
more what you're thinking, because there's there's a lot of new,
really exciting stuff happening at the Paris twenty twenty four Olympics,
and there's even some new events.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
There's one new event specific.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
There's even one new event.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
There's one new event, and there's one event that has
a new.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Name, yeah, and a sort of a new edge and
a new edge. There's a new bombshell at the Villa.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
There's a new bombshell at the Villa, as Venizza Williams
once said, it's a new attitude, as Patti LaBelle said,
oh yeah. And one some of these events have new rules,
as du Alipa said, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, I think she did say that, and I would
agree that it applies here. Just before we get into
the five rings section of the show, I want to
stay in the two guys section and it does relate
to one of these new events. So just spoiler alert
for the five rings section. The new event is breaking, yes,
literally breakdancing, and I want to ask you Bowen in
(03:27):
any point in your life. Were you someone who break danced? No?
And were you? Were you ever? Because I just I
don't know why I have this image of Young Boon
Yang in my head, like young you like talking about
like seven or eight years old, like absolutely popping, locking, dropping,
like doing breakdancing. I just in my minds, I see
you as a very excited, spry child. Was a new
(03:49):
dance around a plenty.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
You thought I was. You thought I was biting. I'm
just looking at some of these breaking terms biting. You
thought it a powerhead. I was a cipher cat. A
powerhead is someone who loves to practice, to mostly practice
and perform power moves in their breaking. A cipher is
like a circle that breaks form and dance in. If
(04:13):
you're at a breaking event, you'll just see multiple ciphers
around the room happening while the DJ spins music in
between breaks and the competition wow breakers going to cipher
when at a time to dance. Okay, we need to
save this for the actual five rings portion, because there
is a lot of fun stuff happening and breaking that
I would love to talk about.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
To just get into one hundred percent. But I do
have to say, like, just because you. Bowen Yang is
famously like famously a Dance Dance Revolution icon. Like when
he was younger, he would go play GDR and that's
why I learned, like really throw it in the face
of everyone that worked there, and like really shut down
any competition that stepped towards him. Yeah, and I just
(04:51):
I don't know. I just think of this. I think
of Dance Dance Revolution as breaking adjacent and so I
guess that's why I brought it up. That's why I
associated a potential with you.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
That's very nice. Look, maybe if this is the matrix
we're living in, and it is, you know, Morpheus can
give me the little can download that into me. Yeah,
and I will learn it and I will know it.
But not here, not in this matrix.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Can everything just fall away from one second? And let
me ask you a question. Red pill or blue pill?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Neither? Oh my god, I'm staying.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
They're gonna kill you. They're gonna kill you if you
don't choose, They're gonna kill you.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Here's where I'm pilled Olympics pilled.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Is that I is that where pilled came from?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I think like you're red pilled, you're blue pilled, Like
it's oh.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Wow, So being something pilled actually dates to the matrix.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
That's where I draw the connection.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah, that's where you stop asking questions.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
And so I guess I'm blue pilled.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
And thank you for answering my question. And see, that's
why you have to always think like a lawyer in
the way that I just did like a lawyer, because
you have to get people to admit something in a
roundabout way when they refuse the first time I asked
you a direct question or you read pilled or blue pilled,
and then I had to ask follow up questions based
on your psyche, and I eventually got to the fact
that you are blue pilled. You don't want to know
(06:20):
the truth.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
You would be a trial lawyer when you like the performance.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I did tell you that. Like when I was younger,
that's what I wanted to be. I wanted to be
a lawyer. I love to get up and sort of
twirl in front of people and say and isn't it true?
But actually, if you know that, you can't really say
and isn't it true, because that's leading the way leading.
So all these movies and television shows you've seen where
a lawyer said and isn't it true, mister Belafonte, that
(06:46):
you did this objection constructing the jury? Is that one
of them there's leading the witness, badgering the witness hearsay
asked An answered, which is my favorite. I love when
someone is talking to me in real life and they
have said this a million times and say this and
I go objection, asked An answered.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Can I tell you mine what objection? Why is this relevant?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Relevant? Objection? Relevant, irrelevant?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Blonde and legally blonde. That the prosecution literally was just.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Like, WHOA, I have a point, I promise, then they
make it.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
But I think that lawyer goes, why is this relevant?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yep? So good, yep, objection? Why is this relevant? That
lawyer turned it? That lawyer as another iconic line, when
I reached with this, Phene comes into the jury and
she's gonna represent Ellie Larder, and the other lawyer goes,
I have no problem with this.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
And when Shutney confesses like they cut to her and
she goes her jaw drops.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I didn't mean to shoot him the door. Oh my god,
oh my.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
God, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Levond is, without a doubt, the greatest film of all time,
of all of our generations. It would win a gold
medal to match her blonde hair if they gave medals
for film, but they don't. They give oscars for film,
and the movie was what snubbed.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
When we come back from our break, we will go
into by rings and talk about the new sports and evats.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
See after the ranking on the bend.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
We're back.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
We're back to talk about I mean at number one
on what's happening. What's new is the fact that breaking
is the loan sport making its Olympic debut. Now, we
talked a little bit before this break about what breaking is,
but by definition, the official definition from the Olympics of
breaking is the dance battle sport characterized by acrobatic movements,
(08:57):
stylized footwork, and the key role by the DJ and
the MC during battles. This is really fascinating.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
There is going to be an Olympics DJ on the
floor and an MC depending on the matchups for this event.
I am so excited. I'm true. When I found out
about this last year, I was so thrilled, gooped gagged.
I was like, I can't wait to watch this popcorn
(09:26):
in the bowl on my lefe.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
It's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be really really, really cool.
So the NBC. Our friends at NBC have said the
sports techniques include top rock, which is standing footwork, and
down rock, which is moves on the floor. So top
rock when you're vertical, downrock when your horizont Then there's
power moves, which are twists and spins, and the freeze
(09:47):
when breakers freeze and poses while using their heads or
hands for support. So that's that thing of like where
they're sort of using you know, their body weight and
like defying gravity as it were if Alphabet were a judge.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Can you perform a for me right now?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yeah? Ready?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yes, that wasn't so good?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
That was good. Can I tell you something. I could
never be a breaker. Never. I'm more of a someone
who rolls his body than my hit.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
You have to move, you can't praise, You can't.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
See this when I'm doing a very sexy movement with
my shoulders and this is more my thing.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Your more perpetual motion. And this is about stopping.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yeah, this is about control and I have almost none.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
What I'm excited about is it seems like they're really
honoring the history of breaking as it relates to hip
hop history. Our NBC friends are saying sport originated in
a rec room in the Bronx where legendary DJ named
cool Herk debuted a new technique that's centered around percussive
breaks in songs. So this is when in the breaks
(10:52):
people would start dancing, and so that created the term
break dancing. So breaks are central to the form to
this event.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yeah, there's a gold medal favorite bee Boy Victor and
then Sonny Choi or B Girl Sonny is also competing.
Do you know B Girl Sonny?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I met Sonny in Can last summer. We were hanging
out for promotional things for NBC stuff. She is the
coolest girl. I met her beautiful partner. They are so
lovely together. She's got the partner. He's so cool. But
hello again. From the podcast Airwaves, she was working at
(11:35):
Esday latter.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
This is amazing.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
This is what you forget is these Olympians have the
day jobs and they are oftentimes so fascinating, especially in
relation to the events that our Olympians perform in.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah, this says she was director of Global Creative Operations
at Esday Lauder and she quit that job to focus
on breaking full time. That's insane, like people are leaving
really great jobs to fulfill their passion and it's taken
them all the way to the Olympics. But we should
do an episode about all these athletes day jobs. Someone
write that down.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Someone write that down. I think we could go in
the Olympic Village, as we said last episode and kind
of do a Man on the Street TikTok style or
you know, wide video. It doesn't have to be vertical.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Bring back Man on the Street.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
They're trying to but some of these TikTok people don't
have it. They don't have no to borrow return from
gen Z there is. Back in my day, man on
the Street was you had to have something, You had
to have the X factor. Ross Matthews in turn Ross
at the Tonight Show. Billy Eichner one of the best
to ever do it, one of the best people to
(12:44):
be on the street. I would love to be on
the Olympic Village square with my sister Matt Rogers and
ask these people what their day jobs are slash worse
slash will be.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
We would do great work there because can I say,
back in the day when Bowen and I were coming up,
you had to do everything you had to be an
actor a writer. You have to be able to, you know,
sing your music. You had to write your music that
you sang, otherwise you'd never get a deal. You would
have to be able to dance or at least move
and do a choreography. And you'd have to be able
to do Man on the street and.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Make your own posters for your shows. But more importantly
man on the street.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I have a question about breaking. Is it binary or no?
Is it everyone's competing altogether? I is binary.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I think there is a man in women's breaking event. Hold,
let's look this up. Breaking confirmed binary? Confirmed binary? Who
confirmed it?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
No, I'm just saying in a world where we can
confirm it, it is a confirmed binary sport. I am interested
to hear, because.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yes, yes, there's b boying and be girling events. All right,
sixteen b boys and be girls competing for two metal events.
What if your men went from women? IOC president Thomas
Box stated that they added break dancing as part of
an effort to draw more interest from young people in
the Olympics. Well, if I count as young, which I don't,
and it's working.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Oh absolutely, I think I'm excited about this. First and foremost, now,
but also this next event we're going to talk about
in terms of newness. You know, this is more my
definition of newness, like, how do we make it more
streamline inclusive, how do we make it streamline? How do
we really say what this is? So it's no longer
synchronized swimming, and guess what it kind of never really was.
(14:21):
It's artistic swimming. Artistic swimming is what we are calling
the sport in which we see people in the water
give art pop. This is the most art pop event
we have seen thus far. There's breaking which is up
there in terms of art pop, and then artistic swimming. Now,
whenever I get in the water, consider it artistic swimming.
(14:44):
By the way, I'm giving art pop whenever I swim.
But there's been major changes to this event to really
take it to the next level. For example, men are
now allowed on teams. Congrats to men.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
We have to be more inclusive to men. Let them
swim dance, Let them swim dance, let them do a
Buzzby Berkeley routine in the water. For God's sake, For
the first time in the history of the Olympics, male
artistic summers will be allowed to compete in Paris. Up
to two men per country may compete in the team competition,
so not more than two. I guess baby steps, baby steps,
(15:15):
But I really want to see a bunch of guys
in a circle kicking their legs up doing the same move,
and then a champagne, a big champagne coup rises out
of the water, and then there's more guys on that
I'm I want. There should be a Buzzby Berkeley metal
event for artistic swimming in the future, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
This can evolve, and it has evolved, and it can
evolve to be what you want it to be.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
It can for LA twenty twenty eight, we're thicking ahead,
could be something that we consider.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Could be something. Wow. To think that in four years
the Olympics are going to be here in La in
my backyard.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
So cool.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
This is so freaking cool for the so but yeah,
so if you go out there and you call it
like synchronized swimming, you're going to sound like a rube
a rub and you'll be shamed for it.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
In the village.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
A lot of people asking how do artistic swimmers hear
the music? Because famously Bowen, I don't know if you've
tried this, but when you swim underwater, it can become
difficult to.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Hear sound waves travels.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah, sound it's so, but it is different. I mean
everything's just a little bit more different underwater. It's kind
of like going to Vire Island. How time works differently there. Yeah,
it's like sound works differently underwater. NBC has this to say,
a set of underwater and pool side loudspeakers allows swimmers
to hear their music and stay in sync, whether submerged
or performing with their heads above the surface. So they're
(16:42):
playing the music underwater basically. So it's like a hard
rock hotel. You ever been to a hard rock hotel
and gone under the water in the pool.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I can't say that I have, but now I want to.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
I'll take you. I'll take you. We'll go to hard
rock hotel. Oh, you create at the NBC Universal Resort.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yes, I just want a pool like this anywhere. I
don't think hard about hotel should have a monopoly on
pools with speaker systems underwater. Like I would love for
this to be a feature in a fire Island house. Yeah,
in a house on the beach in Miami. Not on
the beach but you know, like a house, a house
(17:22):
in Miami, I should say listen.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I think if you want a home with a pool
that has an underwater speaker, I think you can do that.
You just got to keep working. You've got to keep working,
just keep keep the money coming in, and then you
can put all that money invested into a pool with
an underwater speaker, and then you can get what you want. Bowen,
But you have to you have to make these things happen.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
But here's the thing. I know my worth internally, and
it is definitely worth a pool with an underwater speaker system.
I am worth at least that much.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Well let's see.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I want to talk about the five rules of artistic swimming.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Yes, it's really important to know the rules, yes, Purtacey,
if swimming dot org, these are rules for life as well. Yeah,
so I've went out there looking to become an artistic swimmer.
Just know that these are the basic tenants.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Never touch the bottom except me, You can't touch the
bottom of the pool at any time. Just keep treading
water and things will work out for you.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah. But if it's bow when you may touch the
bottom next. You don't need bling, no jewelry, no theatrical makeup,
no inappropriate costumes. If you look at photos of artistic swimmers,
they all still look fabulous. So we're keeping it very minimalist.
It should be about the swim dancing, not the extra coutrement. Okay,
this isn't a drag show. This isn't Rue Paul's artistic
swimming Olympics event. Keep it simple, keep it classy, keep
(18:45):
it together.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Keep it unembellished and unadorned.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Next, the more people, the better. Teams normally contain eight swimmers,
but the minimum number for a team is four. You
lose points when you have fewer swimmers because it's easier
to synchronize with you. We're swimmers, although I guess we
are up to two men per country they can be
in the team competition. So maybe there's a certain composition
that is specific to the Olympics, but that seems to
(19:10):
be the general rule of thumb for artistic swimming events outside.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
So the more people, the better, like you could probably
you would look more impressive if it was sixteen people
all swimming instead of just two. But I will say
if it is just two, you can probably because you
only have two people to look at. You can probably
see the mistakes. Oh then again, it is the Olympics,
so they're not going to really make mistakes exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
But it's like, gosh, somebody, the commentators and the judges
for the synchronized diving, those eyes are trained because they
are picking up on things that I'm like, how did
you possibly see that? Yeah, but these are experts, y'all.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Next rule, stick to the schedule of people. Routines can
be anything from two and a half minutes to five minutes,
but you'll be penalized if your routine is off by
fifteen seconds. Oh wow, so you really it's like there
is a program. Your song is your song, hit your
beats and do not overstay.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
This is I don't know, this is very I take
an issue with this because what if someone wants to
do a routine to a mordem a Vie by Billie Eilish.
That's a seven minute song I think.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
You couldn't do but Daddy I Love Him by Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Certainly an All Too Well ten minute version.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
No, you couldn't even do the regular version of All
Too Well. And honestly, I want to see that swam
dance too. I want to see someone artistically swim to
All too Well more than I want most things. And
I want so much, bo I want so much in life.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
But how badly do you want this?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Not bad enough that I'm willing to make an issue
with the Olympic Committee. But I'm not happy about this
rule at all. And I have integrity, and I know
so do you, and so we're speaking up on this
podcast to say this rule is book and they need
to be able to extend it a little bit, to adjust,
include the length of Taylor Swift All too Well, because
we have as a culture have not heard that song enough,
(21:00):
and we haven't talked about that song.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Enough now, and we certainly haven't swam to it artistically enough.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Until we do. This conversation is ongoing.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Absolutely, no goggles is the last rule. This rule may
not be a great rule for life. If you want
to wear goggles in real life for any reason, you
can wear goggles as long as if.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You want to wear goggles, wear goggles.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
As long as you're not obstructing your own view for
something that requires your attention, if you're not operating haaving
machinery in quitting.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
A car, or if you want to compete in this
Olympic event because no goggles, that's the rule. Honestly, chlorine
is such a problem when you dive into these waters
and you open up your eyes down there, like chlorine
is going to be a major issue. So I my
heart goes out to these artistic swimmers.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
They're bloodshot, they're blood shot. Finally, let's talk about a
new ish event, which is surfing. But the news here
is that it is not going to be in parissed
because you're thinking it's a landlocked city. They're certainly not
going to surf on the river, sin are they? Where
are they surfing?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Now? Well, it will take place in Tahiti. We're gonna
cut to Tahiti. We're gonna be leaving the Parisian streets
like Eiffel Tower. We'll check back in with you in
a second, because the Paris surfing competition will take place
in Tahiti, which is ten thousand miles away. The setting
has been called breath takingly beautiful and punishingly tricky. Wow.
(22:25):
This sport made its Olympic debut in the twenty twenty
Tokyo Games. It's new ish. There are two surfing events,
Men's short board and women's shortboard. And by the way,
a short board is a smaller surfboard, generally in the
five to seven foot range, designed for maximum speed through turns.
So you're gonna be seeing your twists, your turns, your dips,
your dives on these shorter boards than usual.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
I can't even wrap my head around surfing. If you're
telling me you're supposed to do it faster.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I know, listen, it's one of those things you're not
gonna see me try. I'm not gonna try surfing now.
I'm not gonna try skiing now.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I just I think feel like frustrating. I think you
would You think I would like skiing.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
You always say this, but it's like, I don't know.
I think I'd like a ski atmosphere.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Don't you want to feel like Gwyneth? Don't you want
to feel.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Like what crashing into men? Give me a break. If
I want to feel like Gwyneth, I'll go to Goop kitchen. Okay,
she did really good work with that.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I'm sure that sounds good to me.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Now, do you know what goofy footed means? Do you
know what it means to be goofy footed? When you
serve means you go, that was really good. Lorn bone
as a goofy bone, as a goofy bone as a
goofy could be interesting. Olympics are coming up. Goofy footed.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
No, of course I know what goofy footed means. It
means a surfer who serves with their right foot forward.
I think I would be goofy footed. No, no, I
think I'm regular footed, which is the left foot.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
We should start calling gay guys goofy footed. Well, you
know he's goofy footed.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
He's goofy footed. Hmm, what does that mean?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
He serves with the right foot forward. If you catch
my meaning, if you gather my meaning, I don't. A
regular footed describes a server who serves with their left
foot forward, also called natural footed in Australia.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Now maybe that's why I'm leaning towards that. I'm a
very natural person. So that's why I'm thinking maybe I'm
regular footed. It's the way God wanted me to surf,
which is not to surf.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Body made right, body made right, God created.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Now I want to say this name to you, and
I want you to tell me picture her in your
mind's eye. Carissa Moore.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
First of all, I play her in a movie. Carissa
Moore is definitely my name in the film.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yes, well, guess what this is what the movie's about.
It's about coming back for more after you took home
the gold for surfing in Tokyo. But guess what those
were some depressing Olympics, weren't they. Now she's back for
the I'm sorry, the real thing, the real thing in Paris,
and she's coming back to the gold for women's shortboard.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I support her. I feel very connected to her without
really knowing at all anything about her besides what you
just said or what she looks like. Carisa Moore, When
you strap that little strap onto your ankle, I don't
care if you're goofy footed or regular footed. You have
both of these goofs in your corner. Two goofy footed
podcast hosts want you to take home the gold more
(25:25):
than anything, sister, and we're gonna be watching and willing
your victory.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
There are several other new events that come out. We'll
just run through them quickly before we give our medals out.
There's women's bantamweight added in boxing to get closer to
parody among genders, and men's light heavyweight has been dropped.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Men's and women's extreme k one for the canoe slalom.
Am I saying that right, slalom slalom, mixed team skeet
for shooting skeet skt sket skeet skeet, thank you. Sport
climbing wereorganized into speed events men and women, and combined
bouldering and lead events rather than a single event comprising
(26:07):
all three disciplines.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
I am so excited about this next one. There's mixed
team thirty five kilometer racewalk. Do you know the racewalk
is a very competitive thing?
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yes, but is it interesting to watch to you as
a track as a former truck star.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
As a former track star. Let me tell you something. Yes,
my best friend was a racewalker and her name was Sam,
and she was one of the best racewalkers. And it's
there's so much more to it than you think, and
there's so much more to it that makes it difficult.
Like one foot has to be on the ground at
all times, and they're watching you the entire time to
(26:44):
make sure that's the case. And like it's a very
technical thing.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
I mean thirty five kilometers long, so these people, the
judges are focused up watching the ground making sure one
foot is on it at all times for a while.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it's actually really hard to not
pick up your both feet when you're competitively moving, like
as someone who ran a four thirty six mile. Wow,
I know that both my feet were off the ground
during much of that. I could not have moved very
quickly had I had my one foot on the ground
at all times. Like all respect to these people, I
wonder at an Olympic racewalker what their mile time is
(27:22):
racewalking I've been. It's shockingly low.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Of course, of course it is. Can I say something? Yeah,
I don't see myself as a bee boy, and that's
your fantasy about me. But my fantasy about myself is
that I would compete in the racewalk. I'm a fast walker.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
You would be amazing. I'm telling you, bowhen Yang, walking
with a purpose is Olympic racewalk material. And I very
confident saying that I put you up against any of
these people. I think if you learned form, we would
see the first ever Saturday Night Live cast member Olympic racewalker.
And that is your legacy. I think.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
You would be.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
You're already like such an apple of NBC Universal's eye.
If you went and competed in the racewalk, I don't know, Bowen,
I think you could take over the world.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Could be very cool.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I would be so emotional on the sidewalk, on the sidewalk,
on the sidelines, watching your racewalk.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
You'll be on the sidewalk.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I'd be like wiping away to yours, like my sister
is out there.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Walking thirty five kilometers. Well overall, Matt, wouldn't you say
that the Olympics are very open to new.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Sports queer Olympics this year. The openness, the inclusivity, I'm
loving it. Should we give it our medals?
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Let's give it our medals. I would say Bronze goes
to surfing. Surfing in Tahiti, even.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
If it's not as new. I mean, it's a little
bit new, and I love that we're like, we're so
committed that we're actually going to cut all the way
to Tahiti. But it gets bronze because to be honest
with you, like we are really focused on how to
make Paris a good experience. So that's cute for y'all.
I do kind of feel like, oh, it's a bummer
they don't get to experience like the opening ceremony, et cetera.
But it's like all the best to them, it's just
(29:06):
really giving bronze.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Oh no, I think they're gonna be at the opening
ceremony and then I think the surfing event's gonna be
later on, Like they're gonna they're gonna fly them out
in the days afterwards.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Really is that like tenable though? I mean, like, are
you gonna want to jel Yeah? I don't know. I'm
interesting to hear more about this, and there's many more
episodes of the podcast, so we'll figure out.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I think Carisa Moore deserves to be at the opening
ceremony on a boat.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
No doubt that charism Moore deserves that. But is it practical?
It's my only question. I guess Carissa would be the
one to ask.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
I think Chrisa is gonna push for that. Where's her
Olympic village?
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I agree? I agree. I hope they build a tiny
one into EATI yeah, like an installation. Yes, silver Metal
I think is going to go to artistic swimming. I
think that we've taken such positive steps forward. I think
now we know the rules, we really know what to watch.
I do think they could have really gotten the gold
medal here had they loud a length of competition that
(30:03):
would include Taylor Swift's all too well, it's just it's
stopping me from really being excited.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah, there's still a lot of limitations that need to
be undone for the full potential of artistics swimming to
be unlocked.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
For such an open Queer Olympics. It feels sad, sad.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
And finally I think we're gonna get gold to breaking
as the lone new sport. This is huge, This is historic,
and I think it'll really make a huge splash in Paris,
and then it has the potential to make an even
bigger impact in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
So La Breaking is gonna go really wild. It's gonna
be very exciting. And can I say I've not met
Bee Girl Sonny. I know Bowen has. I am rooting
for be Girls Sonny as I'm sure you are.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
You guys would get along same as I'm excited. Oh
my gosh, she is one to root for and watch.
We have one question. We have one final question, ask
each other after the break and we're back. Matt. This
is what I was trying to get at earlier. The
(31:11):
Olympics are very open to new sports. As we've seen,
they are an evolving body and evolving events evolving. I mean,
this resembles nothing like the Greek Games of antiquity.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
We've come a long way since ah increase absolutely.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
What sports do we want to see in the twenty
twenty eight Summer Olympics in la We are an official
NBC Olympics podcast. I think we get to say, are
there any activities we're really good at that we law before?
Speaker 2 (31:39):
I'm not good at this, but I would like to
see hopscotch out of to the Games. I think that
hopscotch is international. I think it would remind people of
what it was like to be a child. And I
think that what we're not seeing enough of is embracing
of the inner child. Yes, I think that artistic swimming
takes us closer, because who among us can't remember splash splash,
(32:02):
taking a bath as a young kid and having fun
in the water and sort of, you know, learning to
express yourself under the water like artistically like and thinking, oh,
I wish there was music underneath the surface, and now
there is. I just I feel like we're moving in
a really positive direction there in terms of reconnecting the
inner child and like allowing the fantasy. We need Hopscotch
to be an Olympic sport. Bowen, what would you add
(32:25):
to the Summer.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Olympics Something laser based. It could be laser tag, could
be dodging lasers to steal a piece of.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Art, both both Olympic lasers.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
I think lasers should be an event.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Yes, okay, wait, that's really good. So like it's almost
like a triathlon where it's like the first room is
a room where you have to make it through sort
of Catherine Zaanda Jones and entrapment, like sort of get
through like the lasers. Then you get to a laser tag,
a moment where they give you a gun and you
have to like make your way through a room. And
then the last.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
One is chasing a laser dot like a cat.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, or you there's a hairy man on a table
in front of you and you have to do a
laser procedure on him.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Oh my god, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Every time we're thinking about it, every way we can
make this man hairless, and we're checking every fold. A
lot of hairy guys in France too, we could have
done this.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Oh, my God, not.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Enough Harry guys in La. All these gay guys.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Getting theirself waxed, getting their peaches defudged.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
This has been yet another episode of Two Guys, five Rings.
We are off to the races. This podcast was critically acclaimed.
We are really capitalizing on the moment and we are
delivering crucial Olympic commentary. Watch every moment of the twenty
twenty four Paris Olympics beginning July twenty sixth on Nbcnpeacock
(33:51):
and for the first time, you can stream the twenty
twenty four Paris games on the iHeartRadio app. Come on now,
the future is now. Do that's me sort of beatboxing?
(34:16):
Anyway later, heybye,
Hosts And Creators
Matt Rogers
Bowen Yang
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