December 19, 2023 • 44 mins
The ladies go THERE. Jackie and Jen discuss all things sex.From monogamy, infidelity, sex drive, hall passes to swinging, the ladies keep it honest.Plus, do their fellow housewives really have sex THAT much?And, who found a certain magazine in their Dad’s dresser and whose kid heard her parents having sex in the house!?!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey, guys, we're back for our second episode two Jersey Jays.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Jackie Goldschneider. I'm Jen Fessler. Guys. We're so excited
our first podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
I mean, we are so grateful, first of all, for
you guys for listening.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It's it's so well, we love you guys. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
I keep saying like it's I'm so grateful to my bowel.
I feel like that was actually.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Jenn's impacted bowel took one for the team. The bowel
heard around the world. Yeah, yeah, how was that bowel done?
It's oh, you know something.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
I It's funny because I got so many phone calls
and so many texts from people concerned about me.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I guess I didn't.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I wasn't clear that I was like miss the incident
in the hospital was months and months ago.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
But it was actually really nice.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
I'm like getting calls from people I went to sleep
away camp with You're like, you know, I'm sorry, Hi, Jen,
I know we haven't talked in thirty years, but are
you okay?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I think that people would be so concerned about your content. Yes,
that was very it was actually very heart warming. But
he really do give a share. They look at.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
It was really nice, and but I did want to
sort of like emphasize that it happened a long time ago,
a long time ago, but months and months, and that
it has not happened since because I have been doing
as directed and chugging my water and taking my mir
relax and eating broccoli when I have to.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
But anyway, but we were we were just at jingle Ball.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Did you have fun? I mean it was amazing. No,
it was so cool.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Forget like Share, I mean, how is Share in her?
What is she in her seventies right is? And she
looks so good and like it has more like dance
moves than any twenty year old I know, Like she's
just like seventy is fifty?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Is it that makes us? I don't know. My mom's
in her seventies, She's she's pretty seventies she is, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
My mom is eighty one years old. She runs from
five to eight miles a day. That's a fact. She's
like they call it like a superager. She is with
like weights on her wrists. She's it's she's so much more.
She's so much more busy than I am. She is
between majohn running in her my god, you have no idea.
(02:20):
She is like over the top and so much more
in shape than I am. She stays up until I
don't know eleven, I'm like in bed by nine thirty.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Yeah, I'm in my eighties. I think I want to
catch up on every single movie I've never seen.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I'm already I want to move. Yeah, I don't move now.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
So guys, we have got you know, we got to
outdo our first episode and it more outrageous.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Yeah, there's only one way to do that. Talk about sex.
Talk about sex, baby, No, but really, let's talk about sex.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I mean, because you know what, there's a lot of
talk about sex on these housewives shows, and I don't
I don't really think that.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
It's that accurates. Well, it's not for me. I mean
in terms of what I hear and the way that
sex is described. And I don't know if you know,
certainly like as you get older, sex changes, as your
body changes, as your relationships change.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
But I don't.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I tend to not really identify with a lot of
what I hear. Yeah, not just a Housewives, but you
know whatever other TV shows. I relate a lot to
my friends when we talk about it. You know, in
a casual way and describe sex where sort of the
same points in our lives when it comes to it.
But I don't relate to a lot of what I
hear from housewives and celebrities.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Right well, a lot of people on these shows imply
that they have sex like multiple times of weeks, Like
they're pulling each other into closets when the kids are
like in the room next door, and like they're having
sex everywhere, and like, you know, the reason why I
have beef with it is because it makes you feel
(04:08):
like there's something wrong with you, you know, Like a
lot of times I'll be listening to these conversations and
I'll say to myself, God, I love my husband so much,
but like, what's wrong with me that I'm not, like,
you know, ripping him into a closet, like you know,
between like you know, afternoon sports, driving and like dinner.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I mean, I don't think I was ever like that,
to be quite honest with you, even as a younger person,
when I was in my twenties and I guess my
late teens when I started having sex, but I was
I never felt like I couldn't wait for the sex
and truth be told when I was younger, the only
thing that was on my mind during sex was pleasing
(04:51):
the guy because I was and you and I have.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Spoken about this in your book.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
I was always so desperate for a man's attention and
you know, just looking for intimacy and wanting to connect
with a guy. And my way of doing that it
didn't work, to be quite honest with you, but was
to please them. And I was not in touch at
all with my body or what I wanted probably. I mean,
(05:19):
I met Jeff when I was twenty nine, but you know, really,
until I was relaxed enough and trusted someone enough to
be interested in my own wants and desires.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yeah, I got to tell you.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I think that that's one of the reasons why I
hate blowjobs so much, is because when I was younger,
like way before I was married, I was so interested
in like just pleasing a guy so they would like
me that I gave so many times. I'm sorry, Dad,
if you're listening, but I give you kids, or quite
a few blowjobs to guys who buttoned up their pants
(05:53):
and then never looked at me again.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Me too.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
And I think maybe like there's some kind of dramatic
attachment to a low job for you.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yeah, I see that. I just don't like them. Yeah,
I mean maybe it's a whole.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
But I always tell Rachel my daughter, and she will
only talk to me, you know, to a point in
terms of sex. But I hope that whatever she's doing,
she is doing what makes her feel good, not just
what makes a guy feel good, right, and and that
she's with somebody who actually gives a shit about her pleasure.
(06:31):
Because we bond over this now, you and I like
so many other things. All I cared about was that
they would come back for more. Yes, which is a
sad one hundred but okay.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
So on these shows, a lot of people talk about
all the sex they're having all the time. Several of
our own cast members talk about having it every morning,
four times a day, you know, and like, more power
to them.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
If that's true.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
But I will tell you there have been a lot
of studies on this, and the leading studies so that
women are age you know, middle aged, you know, forties, fifties,
married couples, you're having sex once a week.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
That's you know, it's hard with this to like, I
want to be as honest as possible in his open
wall still, you know, protecting my family and my husband. Yes,
and so it's hard to give intimate details. But I
will say this, that's a lot to me. That's just
being honest. I'm my sex drive is it was never crazy.
(07:31):
I never had a huge sex drive. From being honest.
But Jeff is sixty one, you know, I'm fifty five,
and we are empty nesters. Well you know, so sort
of like our kids now are back and forth. But anyway,
but it's still I don't have that. It doesn't even
occur to me once a week necessarily, maybe once every
(07:53):
couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
What does he say about it?
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Listen, if he, Jeff wants to have sex, I and
he does more than I do. I want to do
to you know, satisfy him, and so I'm more I'm
open to it.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I just it doesn't occur to me right, And I
don't know it's you do.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Hear so so much talk, there's so much talk of
how important sex is. Even you know, when I go
to my gynecologist by he put me on estrogen and
now I'm taking even estrogen pellets which are stronger than
I guess the cream that my doctor prescribed. And once
he did he say to it? He said, to me,
(08:38):
you know, is your is it increased your sex drive?
Is your sex drive better? Because I had, you know,
I had spoken with him about the fact that it's low,
and I was almost embarrassed. I was like, not really,
and you know, is that not healthy physically? Emotionally? I
feel like for me, sex is pleasurable, important, but it's
(09:00):
not the most intimate thing that I share with Jeff.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Yeah, there's other there are.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
So many other things that for me feel intimate, right, Okay,
I understand that. I mean I do have on average
once sometimes twice a week, but definitely not more than that. Yeah,
you know, I mean I think that's a really unrealistic,
you know, picture of what a healthy sex life looks like.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
When I'm with friends out to dinner, I'll get a
lot of uh, you know, buy the end of the
meal or whatever. Like someone will inevitably say one of
the women will inevitably say, you know, shit, he's gonna
want Like shit.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I know he's gonna want tonight. He's totally okay.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
I would have dinner once and I ordered a dish
with onions on it, and one of the women at
my table looked at me and she was like, oh,
she's like, somebody's not gonna want it tonight. And I
said to her, because I'm eating onions, like I can
eat out of the toilet bowl, and he would.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Still want it tonight, right, Well, listen, And it's I
think a lot of women feel like because their husbands
or their partners are so interested in it more often
that it becomes an obligation.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Right.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
You know, I have a lot of friends who say
that their husband take it every day, multiple times a day.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Right, So I wonder and I think about this sometimes
as a wife, you know, with I have such a
wonderful husband who is so good to me and so
good to our children and such a hard worker. And
he again like he's not a twenty year old right,
thank god, because his I don't want to talk too
(10:40):
much about his sex drive. But it's not what a
twenty year old, friends is. But is it for men
almost like a physical pain or they need it.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Like they need it? What is the mean that you
need it? Well?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I picture and again like that's why when you know,
when Jeff's in the mood, I even if I'm not
in the mood, I want to please him and not
be I mean, I don't want to be. Maybe I
hope this is not like anti feminist, but it's just
the truth. I love him and if he's in the mood,
(11:16):
and even if I'm not, I do want to, you know,
make him feel good. And but I wonder if for
men it's almost like so uncomfortable to not have sex and.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Oh no, see this is what I wonder. Also is
it like are you in physical pain? I don't think so.
But also like longing like those well you know what,
like go in the bathroom and jack off.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
They but that's not what so many men want, and
I wonder why. Also, like isn't an orgasm?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Is orgasm? Does it really like right? You know?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
And then there are I hear stories from my friends
as well that it's not enough just to have sex,
like it has to be an ordeal.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
It should be yeah, to be like an hour.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Long, an hour long, yes that's time for that me,
but an hour long, you know, for play. And I
don't know, I couldn't. I could not deal with that.
And I know a lot of women love that. I mean,
I'm not saying not all women are like me that
you know, are not interested in it many.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Times a week, a day.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I don't know, but this is just my friends and
the way that I feel, and it's not a priority
and certainly like not to.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Like do it for an.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Hour and no, no, no, no, what about like toys
and lingerie?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Are you guys into that kind of stuff? No, so
definitely not lingerie.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yeah, definitely not lingerie for me either, And I feel
like that's like misrepresented too. You have these women who
walk out of the bathroom in like a garter and
like something up their ass.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I don't know, something up there, ac No, not like
a dildo.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I mean like a thong, you know, like a lash
thong and like missing pieces in the nipple story.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Nothing.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
I'm not like, I'm not that into that. I mean, listen,
I love a good vibrator.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Is that a toy?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
That's just a necessary part of life? I feel like
for me, for me, I don't know. Listen, Jackie's getting like.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yeah, I gotta tell you a jenn is so much
more comfortable talking about like the real intimate Like we
we have a you know, we were talking about what
we might discuss and she was like, let's talk about masturbation.
I was like, I think I turned like a whiter
shade of pil I was. I didn't know what to say.
I don't know why I have.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I don't know if I maybe when I was younger
like that, even that word, I would just bristle, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, that's the way I am still to right, But no,
not anymore. I certainly don't feel like that anymore. And
I also, you know, having two older kids when they
were younger, maybe even the age of your kids, I
remember having discussions with them talking about how it was
natural and they should never feel shame around it, that
it's appropriate, you know, when they know that they're they're
(14:01):
in a private setting.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
You said that to your kids, Yes, oh my god.
If my mother said that to me, I would.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Scream at her, no, don't anyway, Well, listen, I remember
being the age, maybe in my teens, right, and I
would like lock myself in the bathroom for ever, and
when i'd come out, I know you're laughing, I would,
And I remember like I would feel shame around it.
I don't remember the whys or felt like I was,
(14:28):
you know, in some way doing something wrong. And I
just never wanted my kids I feel that way. Yeah,
I never felt like that, you know, I mean I
definitely did, but I.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Always did feel like it was like a dirty little secret.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Yeah yeah, no, I mean it's it's just part of
I think, being human.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah, So, like your kids are home for the holidays,
now I have four teenagers in my house, Like, it's
just not realistic for us to close the door and
have a clique because my kids will hear it, and
(15:09):
they're not stupid, they know all about sex, and like
I won't be able to relax knowing that they could
be hearing us. Well, it happened to us for sure.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
When this is obviously going back years ago, and I
didn't realize that I was making a little bit too
much noise, and all of a sudden, like my daughter
started screaming how old was she about teens?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
I mean maybe okay, early teens.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
It was a mistake. And we don't have doors on
our bedroom that lock. We have like glass double doors,
and she was like traumatized and furious, and she's like,
how could you how could you let me hear that?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
And I understand that of course it.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Must have been just like you know, so just awkward
at best, traumatizing at worst, but it happened. And the
truth is, I did say to myself, I don't know
if it I hope it didn't, like, you know, actually
like traumatize her for real. But it's she should know
that her parents are human and adults and sexual beings,
(16:14):
and I'll want that for her when she gets older.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yeah, I think I didn't understand a lot of things.
And I was like, oh, you know, my dad next
to his bed, he had a dresser and the bottom
of the dresser it was a playbook.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I knew you were going to say that. I always
used to go right. I always used to look at it.
I remember the women.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
There was one who was totally naked dressed where she
was sitting in like a forest with snow all over
the place. That she was wearing a huge white fur
coat and she was completely naked underneath in the like
spread eagle. And I remember I always used to look
at that picture and be like, why isn't she dressed?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
It's so snowy, and like.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
When I got older and I realized why my dad
had that magazine next to his bedside, I was like,
which those pages all time?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
I remember, well used to look I absolutely did find
playboys and I have had we're the one step father,
and so I would always find Playboy and it also
like turned me on. I remember bringing it into the
bathroom with me, you know, and just probably feeling shame
(17:24):
around that as well. And it's interesting now like that
sort of leads into I guess a discussion a little
bit about porn.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
And I don't mind born.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yeah, well I don't mind it either. I enjoy it.
It's not on a daily but yeah, I mean like
if we're away, it turns me on, you know, just
being in a hotel room. This is so so hard
to navigate, like what's TMI and what's just honesty?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Right?
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Well, I think if you think that other people could
relate to it and normalizes something that's a little bit taboo,
then a lot of people talk about enjoying porn, especially
I don't talk about growing porn with any of my girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Well now you do, oh with you? Yes? Welcome, welcome.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
I don't know, like whatever makes you feel good, right,
I kind of feel like if it turns you on,
then maybe it's for me it works. It's I don't know,
and I know there's a lot wrong. A lot of
people feel a lot of my friends feel like porn.
They catch their husbands or significant others watching. They don't
(18:31):
feel good about it, They feel sort of betrayed. So
can I ask you a question obviously if.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You don't need to answer, if you don't feel comfortable, Okay,
you and your husband separated at one point, yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Well for a year? Why do we separate? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:45):
I talked about this on the show, but for those
of you who didn't watch, the very quick version is
that there was infidelity and we were about seven years
in so, like, it's so cliche, right, the seven year
itch and I think that we were both sort of
checked out of the marriage at that point.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
And okay, so it didn't have to do with your
sex life all, you had a healthy sex life.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I mean, that's a great question. I don't think we
were connecting in any way. So if we weren't, you know,
connecting mentally or physically or emotionally, that was probably at
the root of it. And so there was infidelity on
both of our parts.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
And I don't but I know, I don't. It was
not for me about sex.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
We weren't connecting, but it was not for me about
the sex is not good and I'm going to find
it somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
It wasn't about that at all.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
So when so there was infidelity and then while you
were separated, you were with somebody.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Else more than one person, more than one person.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Multiple, We're like, how did that feel? Because then you
eventually ended up getting back together. How long was the
separation out? A year? Yeah, so you had multiple partners.
Was it different? Did you feel more like you wanted
to have sex with them because they were new and
a new body?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I mean you would think so, right, Yeah, I mean
I And again I mean I'm just just go I
think I do have that like is there something wrong
with me or is it from trauma in my childhood
that I can't connect with my body enough to really
like enjoy sex the way I hear that so many
women do.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
But anyway, No.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Yes, of course, it was exciting to be with someone
new after being married for seven years.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
But again.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
It was not I don't think it ever was about
the sex. If anything, the sex was the least of it.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
It was just.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
About the connection, Like it was about the first kiss.
It was about you know, the laying naked and being intimate.
But no, for me, it wasn't about like, Okay, you know,
so this is what I've.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Been missing, not at all.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Okay, all right, And did your sex life change after
you and Jeff got back together?
Speaker 2 (21:07):
No, no, I'm gonna say no. Listen, and it's not it.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
We have always had a wonderful connection.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
I like to be close to Jeff.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
I want to be like even just at night when
we are sleeping, I sometimes will just hick him and
wake him up just so I can just hear his boy.
He doesn't love that or like you can just like
go like like move over closer, or I just want
to like hold his hand, makes me feel safe, and
(21:38):
he turns me on in more ways like than just sexually. Right,
It's like, I don't know, he's just I like his body.
I like the smell of him.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Yeah, I like Evan's you know, I like just like
just wing safe. Yeah. Yeah, all right, So let's let's
change topic. Tiny bit.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
I was watching another Bravo show, and on that show
was recent somebody made a comment and this person was
happily married and said that she just doesn't feel like
people are meant to be monogamous forever. And it really
struck me because I took that to mean that she
(22:19):
it didn't feel natural for her to only have sex
with her husband for the rest of her life. And
I questioned, is does does monogamy feel natural to me?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
And it does. I don't think that I could feel.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Intimate with somebody else, you know, and still be married
to my husband.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Like I think that there's so much more to sex.
There's the connection, there's trust, there's all of that.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
So for me, I wonder is it certain people that
just can't be monogamous or that are Can you be
happily married and want to have sex with other men?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Well, isn't it true that I don't know?
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Animals in the wild they're not monogamous, right, Like that's
and we are, you know, in essence, we are animals,
And so maybe that's a fact, right, Maybe it's not
really natural. And I think that I hesitate to say
this again, I don't know, is this I want to
be as always pro woman, but is it less natural
(23:23):
for women more natural for men to be with other partners?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I'm not sure. I know we got to look into that,
we have to.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
Look into that, but I don't. I don't know if
I think that it's natural or not. But I just
I think that at some point it feels daunting to
think that this is it right, like, and not just
because of the sexual aspects of it, but you're married,
and you're married for a long time or not, but
(23:49):
like that this is the only person that I'm going
to lay with and be intimate with, and wow, you know,
am I missing something? I think that I felt like
that at seven years in.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
You know, I have heard a lot of rumors in
my town or in other towns about swinging, and I
wonder sometimes.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
How true that is? How many people actually swing? And like,
once your kids are completely grown up and you're a
little later in life and maybe you want to have
a little fun, do you think something like swinging or
something like a hall pass could ever work.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I don't swing.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
In terms of swinging, the idea of being picture it
as being just naked, right, And like what there was
that show about what is it called when you're married
to a lot of people?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Polymorpha? Polymorphous?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Yeah, there was Sister Wives, No, but there was also
the show about Holymorphousy. I can't say, I don't know,
but about people that shared multiple partners and they were
all like they would live together and get married and
there was multiple There was I don't know four of them.
They were all married and they were having sex with
each other and then they would go to like these
do we still call them orgies?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
And I just can't picture a scenario where I would
be comfortable enough to take all of my clothes off
and go round the room and enjoy more.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
For me, I can't picture that.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
And I have also heard the stories in my town
about swingers and what is it key parties or something
you pass away?
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I don't think so, not because I don't not even
getting deep about it.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I just don't think I want to, like, yeah, no.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Not for me either. There was that mom talk do
you remember mom talk on TikTok?
Speaker 2 (25:41):
No? It was these you know, I got to get
it straight. But I think they were all swinging.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
It was a bunch of like I don't know if
they were they were some kind of religious group, but
then all the women were swinging.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
They might have been Mormons. I might be making that
up anyway, can fall past? Do you think?
Speaker 1 (25:58):
No? No, no, no, no, I mean I know I'm saying
that's what more than people do. I'm saying, oh, light
have been to you. But uh, what about a hall pass?
Did that ever work? I mean, I don't think so.
I feel like I got one in a sense. You know,
it's like we sort of both did, but it's different now.
I don't know, not really, because you were both like
(26:19):
taking a break. Yes, hall pass, you're not taking a break.
Hall pass is you're fully married and like you get
one night. I guess with somebody else, I don't think
that could work. I think it would destroy a marriage, right,
isn't that that movie?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Yeah? With them? Yeah, I've never seen it. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
I mean, I I don't listen. I don't rule out anything.
There's different. Everybody's different, and whatever works for your marriage,
great if it, you know, I don't know for my
marriage at this point in life. Ast of all, I don't
want one.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
I'm not that doesn't honestly like I feel at this
point in my life. I used to crave the attention
of men. It was so important to me that I
walked into a room and that men would look at
me and that they thought that I was sexy. Now,
if I never felt that again, it would be too soon,
Like I don't have that. That doesn't drive me so
a hall pass.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Listen.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
I mean, I'm not going to kick George Clooney out
of my bed like you used to talk about that,
or like I used to have. I was obsessed with
Blake Shelton and so because I'm like always upstairs in
my bed just like, Okay, guess what if Blake Shelton
makes it to our house and he goes up the
stairs and he sees you sitting there with crumbs around you, okay,
(27:33):
in your like like just laying there like a.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Slot, and he you want to and he wants to
go for it.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Really, I don't think I've ever heard Evan once mentioned
that he thought any kind of celebrity was attractive. And
he doesn't like if I talk about it. I'll tell
you something when the when the show first came on.
When I was first on the show back in twenty eighteen,
I was at an event and I was so like
new to all of this, and then and Page six
(28:03):
was there and they were interviewing people. They pulled me over.
I don't think our show was even airing yet. We
had just finished filming, and they were like, we're going
to ask you rapid fire, like twenty questions.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
So they were asking me favorite restaurant, favorite food, you know,
favorite brand to wear, and then they said celebrity crush.
I said, I don't really have one, and they said,
just just pick somebody.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
So I always thought that the football player.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
That Kim Kardashian was married to was gorgeous, So I said,
who's that guy that Kim Kardashian was married to?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Reggie Bush? And they said, okay, next question.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
You know, they kept going and the next morning, Evan
got like twenty like people sending him. The headline was
New New Jersey House. I was a crush on Reggie Bush.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
He was pissed.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I think he was embarrassed, and I felt so bad
so I tried not to like ever like even mentioned
that I feel like somebody else might be attractive because
I don't want to insult him, like I feel bad,
but like he knows that I have, like anyone who
knows me knows that I have like a wicked, wild
crush on Pete Davidson. And it's so fucking unrealistic, Like
(29:20):
what's really gonna happen? Is he really gonna leave? Like
and all the crushed on having Goldschneider. I mean, let's
get real, but like.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
I don't know, we were just talking about swing. No
thank you. Love love that man, but no thank you.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
And obviously we know he's got Jackie gold Stutter doesn't
me but anyway, But the point is that Jeff would.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Never that doesn't even occur to him.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
I mean we like we can be there watching a
movie with our kids and I could oh my god,
he's so hot, or you see, I don't oh god
that she's so your type.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
I don't know why they know that. Yeah, it's always sad.
I don't think Evan has ever said that he thinks
that somebody. Why does that make you feel bad?
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I think no, because I don't want to disrespect him
by saying like, oh that person like I would. I
mean I would never say all that man is cute,
you know, but like even like a silly celebrity crush
like I I don't know, we don't talk about though
I would say that.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
I would say any of that and do say it,
like like even just oh my god, look at that guy.
He's gorgeous, like in front of I don't know, my kids,
And it doesn't that doesn't phaze me.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
I don't want to haul pass and I'm not giving out. No,
I don't have either maybe back in the day. So
what about so when you see all that time, Mary,
what is it?
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Mary? Kill? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
I mean like even that, like I would not feel
comfortable because I think that he would be insulted. Yeah,
and also like I don't really want to sure, Like
I love my husband, I don't know that family. And
when I think about somebody else, but I'll, yeah, get
on the list. I mean like there's a lot of people, but.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I feel like it would destroy it.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Like if I was to do that, it's not only
hurting my husband, it's hurting my children.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
And I don't I don't ever want to think about that,
you know.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Yeah, Listen, when we when Jeff and I were separated,
I because I had experienced a lot of divorce as
a kid, and I was the you know kid in
the scenario. My parents got divorced when I was three,
So in my mind it I think I was surprised
by how badly it hurt them, which seems silly and naive,
but for me, it was part of my life right
(31:39):
growing up, and.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
I that was.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
The hardest part was watching my kids miss daddy so much,
and you know, not having our family unit together. And
I I'm an idiot that I didn't anticipate that, but
again I was. To me, it was like a part
of life, right, And so the kid thing is very,
(32:05):
very complicated.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Again, I think that that.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
You have to factor yourself into the equation, even when
it comes to your family. Your happiness has to matter.
Have you ever been with a woman? I've kissed a woman?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Really, yes, I never have.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yes, I kissed a woman again, like to please a man.
It was so sad, right, So I don't know, I
don't know about telling too much, but I did it
to turn on a guy. That's just so pathetic.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
But it's so you'll talk about masturbating in the bathroom
with a playboy from your stepfather.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
But A yeah, I don't know, some stuff feels right
to talk about. Other it feels listen. I mean, what
else is there to say? I kissed a woman?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I mean how no, no, no, no no. I was wondering
this the circumstances.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
So, you know, just to reiterate, like I just this
study that I was looking at. It said that in
your twenties. The average American has sex eighty times a year,
which comes out to.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Like one and a half times a week. But that's
more that I mean, that's less than I would expect. Yeah,
when you're in your when you're in your.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Fifties or you have school age children, it's about once
a week, and then when you're in your sixties it's
twenty times a year.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Well, I don't want to be disrespectful to my mom.
She's a super ager. Yeah, yeah, at least it did.
I mean now she's she's eighty one years old.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
But we've had discussions about it, and her mindset was always.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
That if it's if it pleases your husband so much
and gives I don't know, relief in some way, then
you know what's the problem, Like it's something that you do,
and not that she didn't enjoy it too, but more
from the perspective of, you know, the physical like if
(34:03):
he has this physical need and he feels like when
it's not satisfied, it's it's very hard to deal with
and a lot of I know a lot of women
and you probably do too, who feel like when they
don't have have consistent sex with their husbands or their
partners or whatever, that the partners get in a bad
mood and it comes like in between them. I mean
(34:26):
you hear that from your friends, Like I have friends
that say, you know, get mad, they would go get
very crazy. They withhold sex when they're mad at their husbands.
I think it'd be hard to have sex when you're
mad at your partner. For me, it would be the
last thing i'd want to do. But not not not
to manipulate.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
You know. Personal problem for me was so you know,
I had an eating disorder for a very very long time,
and during that time, I used to play around with
dangerous foods. When I say dangerous, I mean like they
had chemicals in them that I see they.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Were yeh's a snap. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
So oftentimes I was extremely bloated. Even though I was
skin and bones, I was. I was very bloated. So
I used to wear a shirt very often when I
had sex, and it was because I didn't like the
way that my stomach looked right and I wasn't comfortable
(35:24):
being naked. I was also very very cold, and that's
one thing with recovery, Like I don't have that anymore,
and it's great, but I always felt bad because I
knew it was a little bit weird not to be naked.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
So I relate to that like wholeheartedly. When I was younger,
I wore absolutely always, Oh my god, yes, and again,
I mean, you know, I've scept with an union disorder
as well. But even you know, the times where I
would get really really heavy and I wouldn't even think
about getting completely naked into If I'm being completely honest,
(36:01):
I still have insecurities, even in front of Jeff, who
has certainly seen it all. It's interesting to me that
I've at least the men that I've been with, they
don't seem to have any insecurities no matter what their
body looks like, which I wish that.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
I think.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
I wish that I had always felt like that, But
I hope that keeps going back to sorry rag to
my daughter, But I hope she feels like that right like,
no matter what she feels in her body, that she
would be able to enjoy sex and feel free and
feel desirable, you know, no matter what.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
But I didn't. I still always, I still don't always.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
I don't walk around I would walk around naked if
I have during the time where I felt like my
body looked really good. I definitely have, but now not
wanting to go back to last week's episode about ozembic,
but things have changed and it just I look, my
body looks so much older than it used to and
I have I definitely have a little bit of shame
(36:58):
around that and don't want to I'm not as free
as I was at one time, but it's gone.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
In and out. Like can you do anything about that?
I suppose I could exercise? Would that? No? Would that?
Do it? Like? What kind like lifting wasting weights or yeah?
I told I think.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
I also said in the last episode, I'm trying to
incorporate more of that. And it's not just because of
my looks, but because at you know, fifty five years old,
I need to your bone density is fading and it's
so important right to keep muscle and to keep blimber
and flexible. And I'm just I'm when it comes to exercise,
(37:32):
I'm lazy, so but it is, it's really important. And now,
of course that would change. I think it would change
what my body look like. When you fill up the
skin with muscle, it's got to look better.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yeah, right, I still don't walk around naked. I love
the way my body looks now. But I still don't
walk around naked. I don't know, it doesn't feel natural
to me.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Really.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yeah, my kids, two of my kids will walk around
naked all day.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yeah, I don't care at all. The other day, Hudson,
he uh, he got.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Like but like a sweatburn on his thighs, and I
gave him a cream that started burning him and he's like,
oh my god.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
He takes his short so he's just running.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Around the house like beat his flapping you know, and
his new little pubes everywhere.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
You don't give a crap. He didn't give a crap.
So don't you feel like that's more of a boy thing.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Yeah, I mean lately for my kids, I think that
my son was waiting up than my daughter again, like
it's sad that I would like for her to beat
Peel is free.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Yeah I don't. That would be nice. Can you imagine
feeling so free?
Speaker 2 (38:39):
No? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:40):
No?
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Maybe there any other personal stories.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Well, I mean we didn't touch on like which I
think we had spoken about before the podcast, But in
terms of like that whole that whole life kink factor
and sort of what I have. I do have that
part of me and I'm not gonna delve in. I
don't want to, you know, freak anyone out. But I
do have that part of me that is has a
very rich not imagination, well not just imagination, but fantasy
(39:16):
life right that I incorporate. It helps me during sex
to enjoy it. And I never really acted on any
of those fantasies. But sometimes I sometimes think to myself, like,
is that devan behavior? Talk to my therapist, abduct.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Are they solo fantasies or they involve your partner solo?
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Oh? And so I wonder is that's something? Is that
a common thing? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (39:45):
I think everybody like closes their eyes sometimes thinks about
something else when you feel bad.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
About that, knowing that like Evan was doing that, thinking
about other women or other situations or other who knows,
I mean other situation.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
I mean, like, honest to God, sometimes during sex I'll
have to stop myself from thinking about like my choor lists,
like what I.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Have to get as to the supermarket. Want.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
No, it doesn't help exactly, but I mean, like your
mind does wander, yeahs to get there?
Speaker 2 (40:11):
Would I be insulted?
Speaker 1 (40:13):
I think I think a little like piece of my
ego would probably be, but only because I don't know
how fucking normal it is. I'm sure if you asked
a hundred people and they didn't use their name and
they were being honest, that a hundred people would tell
you that sometimes they close their eyes and like picture
someone else.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
It's not even someone else. Sure Evan has done it. Person.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
I'm not like closing my eyes and picturing a specific
another man or woman, right, but I am picturing like
I have these scenarios that turn me on, and you know,
it's it is, it can be for me at times,
it feels a little shameful. I don't know that it
should though, you know, it's like and maybe it's supposed
(40:54):
to stay private, and I've shared stuff with Jeff, but
like also like acting on those with my husband is
not something that I feel like it would just be
so corny and silly, right, Like.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
I mean I don't know what they are. Well, I'm
not going to tell you.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Okay, Well maybe one day, who knows, see how popular
the podcast gets.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Yeah, right, maybe that will be your celebration.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Yeah, I am like sexed out.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Yeah, I feel like any cigarette. Oh wait, there was
another thing, yeah, vacation. Oh yeah, I mean like, who
put this like false narrative out there that Amen's sister. Yeah,
you're supposed to have feel like there's so much more
relaxed on vacation. I mean it.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Depends like are you alone with your husband? Is it
like a couple's trip, Because then I understand.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
Well, I mean even if it's not like we always had,
like you have a separate room from your kids? Is it, oh,
you have a separate room at home. I guess I
don't know. I didn't get the whole. I don't relate
to the whole, Like we're on vacation. Now's the time
we could finally like relax and let loose the intimacy
that I feel on vacation. This doesn't sound like corny,
but like it's just doing fun things with Jeff Right.
(42:05):
It's like being relaxed enough to you know, have him
hang out with me in the morning, drinking coffee in
the bed and getting up and.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
Having a whole day in front of us.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
That's just about like what we want to do and
enjoying that because I couldn't I don't think I could
go on. I couldn't be with anyone on a vacation
like any like I could be with Jeff. I don't
want to go on. Maybe when I get older, I
want to go away with a friend or but I
like just being with him. We have the same rhythm.
(42:36):
We've like developed this whole both of us, this whole
rhythm on vacation. We kind of are in sync, right,
like we only want to do so much or I
only want to do so much touring. I want to
do a lot of eating, so does Jeff. Right, I
want to do a lot of laying around. I want
to do a lot of shopping, and well he would
(42:59):
rather actually not too much shopping. But we have also
seeing sites, right, But we have we've set up this
rhythm after all these years that we just have a
great time when we're away. And it's not because you know,
we're hanging from the chandeliers.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
It's just not, Yeah, you guys so much fun.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
I wish we could do like a question answer service names.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
I know, maybe we could, maybe we could do like
a live show and take like callers and stuff. I
have guests on. I want to have I do want
to have guys on. Yeah, we're gonna start having guests.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Send us like what you want us to talk about
we're so excited.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
We're gonna be.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Doing this for a long time, so we're gonna be
coming to you, you know, right now. It's going to
be every two weeks, but uh, we'll see what happens.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Just future holds, who knows, I know what the future holds.
Can Jeff get home?
Speaker 3 (43:49):
When Jeff gets home, yeah, the future then holds me
in bed with Netflix and.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Crumbs and fantasies of Blake Shelton. That's exactly all right. Well,
we are two Jersey Jays. We love you, guys, we do.
Thank you for listening. Talk to you. Bye.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
M
Hey, guys, we're back for our second episode two Jersey Jays.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Jackie Goldschneider. I'm Jen Fessler. Guys. We're so excited
our first podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
I mean, we are so grateful, first of all, for
you guys for listening.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It's it's so well, we love you guys. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
I keep saying like it's I'm so grateful to my bowel.
I feel like that was actually.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Jenn's impacted bowel took one for the team. The bowel
heard around the world. Yeah, yeah, how was that bowel done?
It's oh, you know something.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
I It's funny because I got so many phone calls
and so many texts from people concerned about me.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I guess I didn't.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I wasn't clear that I was like miss the incident
in the hospital was months and months ago.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
But it was actually really nice.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
I'm like getting calls from people I went to sleep
away camp with You're like, you know, I'm sorry, Hi, Jen,
I know we haven't talked in thirty years, but are
you okay?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I think that people would be so concerned about your content. Yes,
that was very it was actually very heart warming. But
he really do give a share. They look at.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
It was really nice, and but I did want to
sort of like emphasize that it happened a long time ago,
a long time ago, but months and months, and that
it has not happened since because I have been doing
as directed and chugging my water and taking my mir
relax and eating broccoli when I have to.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
But anyway, but we were we were just at jingle Ball.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Did you have fun? I mean it was amazing. No,
it was so cool.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Forget like Share, I mean, how is Share in her?
What is she in her seventies right is? And she
looks so good and like it has more like dance
moves than any twenty year old I know, Like she's
just like seventy is fifty?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Is it that makes us? I don't know. My mom's
in her seventies, She's she's pretty seventies she is, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
My mom is eighty one years old. She runs from
five to eight miles a day. That's a fact. She's
like they call it like a superager. She is with
like weights on her wrists. She's it's she's so much more.
She's so much more busy than I am. She is
between majohn running in her my god, you have no idea.
(02:20):
She is like over the top and so much more
in shape than I am. She stays up until I
don't know eleven, I'm like in bed by nine thirty.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Yeah, I'm in my eighties. I think I want to
catch up on every single movie I've never seen.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I'm already I want to move. Yeah, I don't move now.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
So guys, we have got you know, we got to
outdo our first episode and it more outrageous.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Yeah, there's only one way to do that. Talk about sex.
Talk about sex, baby, No, but really, let's talk about sex.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I mean, because you know what, there's a lot of
talk about sex on these housewives shows, and I don't
I don't really think that.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
It's that accurates. Well, it's not for me. I mean
in terms of what I hear and the way that
sex is described. And I don't know if you know,
certainly like as you get older, sex changes, as your
body changes, as your relationships change.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
But I don't.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I tend to not really identify with a lot of
what I hear. Yeah, not just a Housewives, but you
know whatever other TV shows. I relate a lot to
my friends when we talk about it. You know, in
a casual way and describe sex where sort of the
same points in our lives when it comes to it.
But I don't relate to a lot of what I
hear from housewives and celebrities.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Right well, a lot of people on these shows imply
that they have sex like multiple times of weeks, Like
they're pulling each other into closets when the kids are
like in the room next door, and like they're having
sex everywhere, and like, you know, the reason why I
have beef with it is because it makes you feel
(04:08):
like there's something wrong with you, you know, Like a
lot of times I'll be listening to these conversations and
I'll say to myself, God, I love my husband so much,
but like, what's wrong with me that I'm not, like,
you know, ripping him into a closet, like you know,
between like you know, afternoon sports, driving and like dinner.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I mean, I don't think I was ever like that,
to be quite honest with you, even as a younger person,
when I was in my twenties and I guess my
late teens when I started having sex, but I was
I never felt like I couldn't wait for the sex
and truth be told when I was younger, the only
thing that was on my mind during sex was pleasing
(04:51):
the guy because I was and you and I have.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Spoken about this in your book.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
I was always so desperate for a man's attention and
you know, just looking for intimacy and wanting to connect
with a guy. And my way of doing that it
didn't work, to be quite honest with you, but was
to please them. And I was not in touch at
all with my body or what I wanted probably. I mean,
(05:19):
I met Jeff when I was twenty nine, but you know, really,
until I was relaxed enough and trusted someone enough to
be interested in my own wants and desires.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yeah, I got to tell you.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I think that that's one of the reasons why I
hate blowjobs so much, is because when I was younger,
like way before I was married, I was so interested
in like just pleasing a guy so they would like
me that I gave so many times. I'm sorry, Dad,
if you're listening, but I give you kids, or quite
a few blowjobs to guys who buttoned up their pants
(05:53):
and then never looked at me again.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Me too.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
And I think maybe like there's some kind of dramatic
attachment to a low job for you.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yeah, I see that. I just don't like them. Yeah,
I mean maybe it's a whole.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
But I always tell Rachel my daughter, and she will
only talk to me, you know, to a point in
terms of sex. But I hope that whatever she's doing,
she is doing what makes her feel good, not just
what makes a guy feel good, right, and and that
she's with somebody who actually gives a shit about her pleasure.
(06:31):
Because we bond over this now, you and I like
so many other things. All I cared about was that
they would come back for more. Yes, which is a
sad one hundred but okay.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
So on these shows, a lot of people talk about
all the sex they're having all the time. Several of
our own cast members talk about having it every morning,
four times a day, you know, and like, more power
to them.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
If that's true.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
But I will tell you there have been a lot
of studies on this, and the leading studies so that
women are age you know, middle aged, you know, forties, fifties,
married couples, you're having sex once a week.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
That's you know, it's hard with this to like, I
want to be as honest as possible in his open
wall still, you know, protecting my family and my husband. Yes,
and so it's hard to give intimate details. But I
will say this, that's a lot to me. That's just
being honest. I'm my sex drive is it was never crazy.
(07:31):
I never had a huge sex drive. From being honest.
But Jeff is sixty one, you know, I'm fifty five,
and we are empty nesters. Well you know, so sort
of like our kids now are back and forth. But anyway,
but it's still I don't have that. It doesn't even
occur to me once a week necessarily, maybe once every
(07:53):
couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
What does he say about it?
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Listen, if he, Jeff wants to have sex, I and
he does more than I do. I want to do
to you know, satisfy him, and so I'm more I'm
open to it.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I just it doesn't occur to me right, And I
don't know it's you do.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Hear so so much talk, there's so much talk of
how important sex is. Even you know, when I go
to my gynecologist by he put me on estrogen and
now I'm taking even estrogen pellets which are stronger than
I guess the cream that my doctor prescribed. And once
he did he say to it? He said, to me,
(08:38):
you know, is your is it increased your sex drive?
Is your sex drive better? Because I had, you know,
I had spoken with him about the fact that it's low,
and I was almost embarrassed. I was like, not really,
and you know, is that not healthy physically? Emotionally? I
feel like for me, sex is pleasurable, important, but it's
(09:00):
not the most intimate thing that I share with Jeff.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Yeah, there's other there are.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
So many other things that for me feel intimate, right, Okay,
I understand that. I mean I do have on average
once sometimes twice a week, but definitely not more than that. Yeah,
you know, I mean I think that's a really unrealistic,
you know, picture of what a healthy sex life looks like.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
When I'm with friends out to dinner, I'll get a
lot of uh, you know, buy the end of the
meal or whatever. Like someone will inevitably say one of
the women will inevitably say, you know, shit, he's gonna
want Like shit.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I know he's gonna want tonight. He's totally okay.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
I would have dinner once and I ordered a dish
with onions on it, and one of the women at
my table looked at me and she was like, oh,
she's like, somebody's not gonna want it tonight. And I
said to her, because I'm eating onions, like I can
eat out of the toilet bowl, and he would.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Still want it tonight, right, Well, listen, And it's I
think a lot of women feel like because their husbands
or their partners are so interested in it more often
that it becomes an obligation.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Right.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
You know, I have a lot of friends who say
that their husband take it every day, multiple times a day.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Right, So I wonder and I think about this sometimes
as a wife, you know, with I have such a
wonderful husband who is so good to me and so
good to our children and such a hard worker. And
he again like he's not a twenty year old right,
thank god, because his I don't want to talk too
(10:40):
much about his sex drive. But it's not what a
twenty year old, friends is. But is it for men
almost like a physical pain or they need it.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Like they need it? What is the mean that you
need it? Well?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I picture and again like that's why when you know,
when Jeff's in the mood, I even if I'm not
in the mood, I want to please him and not
be I mean, I don't want to be. Maybe I
hope this is not like anti feminist, but it's just
the truth. I love him and if he's in the mood,
(11:16):
and even if I'm not, I do want to, you know,
make him feel good. And but I wonder if for
men it's almost like so uncomfortable to not have sex and.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Oh no, see this is what I wonder. Also is
it like are you in physical pain? I don't think so.
But also like longing like those well you know what,
like go in the bathroom and jack off.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
They but that's not what so many men want, and
I wonder why. Also, like isn't an orgasm?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Is orgasm? Does it really like right? You know?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
And then there are I hear stories from my friends
as well that it's not enough just to have sex,
like it has to be an ordeal.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
It should be yeah, to be like an hour.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Long, an hour long, yes that's time for that me,
but an hour long, you know, for play. And I
don't know, I couldn't. I could not deal with that.
And I know a lot of women love that. I mean,
I'm not saying not all women are like me that
you know, are not interested in it many.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Times a week, a day.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I don't know, but this is just my friends and
the way that I feel, and it's not a priority
and certainly like not to.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Like do it for an.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Hour and no, no, no, no, what about like toys
and lingerie?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Are you guys into that kind of stuff? No, so
definitely not lingerie.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yeah, definitely not lingerie for me either, And I feel
like that's like misrepresented too. You have these women who
walk out of the bathroom in like a garter and
like something up their ass.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I don't know, something up there, ac No, not like
a dildo.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I mean like a thong, you know, like a lash
thong and like missing pieces in the nipple story.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Nothing.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
I'm not like, I'm not that into that. I mean, listen,
I love a good vibrator.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Is that a toy?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
That's just a necessary part of life? I feel like
for me, for me, I don't know. Listen, Jackie's getting like.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yeah, I gotta tell you a jenn is so much
more comfortable talking about like the real intimate Like we
we have a you know, we were talking about what
we might discuss and she was like, let's talk about masturbation.
I was like, I think I turned like a whiter
shade of pil I was. I didn't know what to say.
I don't know why I have.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I don't know if I maybe when I was younger
like that, even that word, I would just bristle, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, that's the way I am still to right, But no,
not anymore. I certainly don't feel like that anymore. And
I also, you know, having two older kids when they
were younger, maybe even the age of your kids, I
remember having discussions with them talking about how it was
natural and they should never feel shame around it, that
it's appropriate, you know, when they know that they're they're
(14:01):
in a private setting.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
You said that to your kids, Yes, oh my god.
If my mother said that to me, I would.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Scream at her, no, don't anyway, Well, listen, I remember
being the age, maybe in my teens, right, and I
would like lock myself in the bathroom for ever, and
when i'd come out, I know you're laughing, I would,
And I remember like I would feel shame around it.
I don't remember the whys or felt like I was,
(14:28):
you know, in some way doing something wrong. And I
just never wanted my kids I feel that way. Yeah,
I never felt like that, you know, I mean I
definitely did, but I.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Always did feel like it was like a dirty little secret.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Yeah yeah, no, I mean it's it's just part of
I think, being human.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah, So, like your kids are home for the holidays,
now I have four teenagers in my house, Like, it's
just not realistic for us to close the door and
have a clique because my kids will hear it, and
(15:09):
they're not stupid, they know all about sex, and like
I won't be able to relax knowing that they could
be hearing us. Well, it happened to us for sure.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
When this is obviously going back years ago, and I
didn't realize that I was making a little bit too
much noise, and all of a sudden, like my daughter
started screaming how old was she about teens?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
I mean maybe okay, early teens.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
It was a mistake. And we don't have doors on
our bedroom that lock. We have like glass double doors,
and she was like traumatized and furious, and she's like,
how could you how could you let me hear that?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
And I understand that of course it.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Must have been just like you know, so just awkward
at best, traumatizing at worst, but it happened. And the
truth is, I did say to myself, I don't know
if it I hope it didn't, like, you know, actually
like traumatize her for real. But it's she should know
that her parents are human and adults and sexual beings,
(16:14):
and I'll want that for her when she gets older.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yeah, I think I didn't understand a lot of things.
And I was like, oh, you know, my dad next
to his bed, he had a dresser and the bottom
of the dresser it was a playbook.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I knew you were going to say that. I always
used to go right. I always used to look at it.
I remember the women.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
There was one who was totally naked dressed where she
was sitting in like a forest with snow all over
the place. That she was wearing a huge white fur
coat and she was completely naked underneath in the like
spread eagle. And I remember I always used to look
at that picture and be like, why isn't she dressed?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
It's so snowy, and like.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
When I got older and I realized why my dad
had that magazine next to his bedside, I was like,
which those pages all time?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
I remember, well used to look I absolutely did find
playboys and I have had we're the one step father,
and so I would always find Playboy and it also
like turned me on. I remember bringing it into the
bathroom with me, you know, and just probably feeling shame
(17:24):
around that as well. And it's interesting now like that
sort of leads into I guess a discussion a little
bit about porn.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
And I don't mind born.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yeah, well I don't mind it either. I enjoy it.
It's not on a daily but yeah, I mean like
if we're away, it turns me on, you know, just
being in a hotel room. This is so so hard
to navigate, like what's TMI and what's just honesty?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Right?
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Well, I think if you think that other people could
relate to it and normalizes something that's a little bit taboo,
then a lot of people talk about enjoying porn, especially
I don't talk about growing porn with any of my girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Well now you do, oh with you? Yes? Welcome, welcome.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
I don't know, like whatever makes you feel good, right,
I kind of feel like if it turns you on,
then maybe it's for me it works. It's I don't know,
and I know there's a lot wrong. A lot of
people feel a lot of my friends feel like porn.
They catch their husbands or significant others watching. They don't
(18:31):
feel good about it, They feel sort of betrayed. So
can I ask you a question obviously if.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You don't need to answer, if you don't feel comfortable, Okay,
you and your husband separated at one point, yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Well for a year? Why do we separate? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:45):
I talked about this on the show, but for those
of you who didn't watch, the very quick version is
that there was infidelity and we were about seven years
in so, like, it's so cliche, right, the seven year
itch and I think that we were both sort of
checked out of the marriage at that point.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
And okay, so it didn't have to do with your
sex life all, you had a healthy sex life.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I mean, that's a great question. I don't think we
were connecting in any way. So if we weren't, you know,
connecting mentally or physically or emotionally, that was probably at
the root of it. And so there was infidelity on
both of our parts.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
And I don't but I know, I don't. It was
not for me about sex.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
We weren't connecting, but it was not for me about
the sex is not good and I'm going to find
it somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
It wasn't about that at all.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
So when so there was infidelity and then while you
were separated, you were with somebody.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Else more than one person, more than one person.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Multiple, We're like, how did that feel? Because then you
eventually ended up getting back together. How long was the
separation out? A year? Yeah, so you had multiple partners.
Was it different? Did you feel more like you wanted
to have sex with them because they were new and
a new body?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I mean you would think so, right, Yeah, I mean
I And again I mean I'm just just go I
think I do have that like is there something wrong
with me or is it from trauma in my childhood
that I can't connect with my body enough to really
like enjoy sex the way I hear that so many
women do.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
But anyway, No.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Yes, of course, it was exciting to be with someone
new after being married for seven years.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
But again.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
It was not I don't think it ever was about
the sex. If anything, the sex was the least of it.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
It was just.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
About the connection, Like it was about the first kiss.
It was about you know, the laying naked and being intimate.
But no, for me, it wasn't about like, Okay, you know,
so this is what I've.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Been missing, not at all.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Okay, all right, And did your sex life change after
you and Jeff got back together?
Speaker 2 (21:07):
No, no, I'm gonna say no. Listen, and it's not it.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
We have always had a wonderful connection.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
I like to be close to Jeff.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
I want to be like even just at night when
we are sleeping, I sometimes will just hick him and
wake him up just so I can just hear his boy.
He doesn't love that or like you can just like
go like like move over closer, or I just want
to like hold his hand, makes me feel safe, and
(21:38):
he turns me on in more ways like than just sexually. Right,
It's like, I don't know, he's just I like his body.
I like the smell of him.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Yeah, I like Evan's you know, I like just like
just wing safe. Yeah. Yeah, all right, So let's let's
change topic. Tiny bit.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
I was watching another Bravo show, and on that show
was recent somebody made a comment and this person was
happily married and said that she just doesn't feel like
people are meant to be monogamous forever. And it really
struck me because I took that to mean that she
(22:19):
it didn't feel natural for her to only have sex
with her husband for the rest of her life. And
I questioned, is does does monogamy feel natural to me?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
And it does. I don't think that I could feel.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Intimate with somebody else, you know, and still be married
to my husband.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Like I think that there's so much more to sex.
There's the connection, there's trust, there's all of that.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
So for me, I wonder is it certain people that
just can't be monogamous or that are Can you be
happily married and want to have sex with other men?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Well, isn't it true that I don't know?
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Animals in the wild they're not monogamous, right, Like that's
and we are, you know, in essence, we are animals,
And so maybe that's a fact, right, Maybe it's not
really natural. And I think that I hesitate to say
this again, I don't know, is this I want to
be as always pro woman, but is it less natural
(23:23):
for women more natural for men to be with other partners?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I'm not sure. I know we got to look into that,
we have to.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
Look into that, but I don't. I don't know if
I think that it's natural or not. But I just
I think that at some point it feels daunting to
think that this is it right, like, and not just
because of the sexual aspects of it, but you're married,
and you're married for a long time or not, but
(23:49):
like that this is the only person that I'm going
to lay with and be intimate with, and wow, you know,
am I missing something? I think that I felt like
that at seven years in.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
You know, I have heard a lot of rumors in
my town or in other towns about swinging, and I
wonder sometimes.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
How true that is? How many people actually swing? And like,
once your kids are completely grown up and you're a
little later in life and maybe you want to have
a little fun, do you think something like swinging or
something like a hall pass could ever work.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I don't swing.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
In terms of swinging, the idea of being picture it
as being just naked, right, And like what there was
that show about what is it called when you're married
to a lot of people?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Polymorpha? Polymorphous?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Yeah, there was Sister Wives, No, but there was also
the show about Holymorphousy. I can't say, I don't know,
but about people that shared multiple partners and they were
all like they would live together and get married and
there was multiple There was I don't know four of them.
They were all married and they were having sex with
each other and then they would go to like these
do we still call them orgies?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
And I just can't picture a scenario where I would
be comfortable enough to take all of my clothes off
and go round the room and enjoy more.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
For me, I can't picture that.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
And I have also heard the stories in my town
about swingers and what is it key parties or something
you pass away?
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I don't think so, not because I don't not even
getting deep about it.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I just don't think I want to, like, yeah, no.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Not for me either. There was that mom talk do
you remember mom talk on TikTok?
Speaker 2 (25:41):
No? It was these you know, I got to get
it straight. But I think they were all swinging.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
It was a bunch of like I don't know if
they were they were some kind of religious group, but
then all the women were swinging.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
They might have been Mormons. I might be making that
up anyway, can fall past? Do you think?
Speaker 1 (25:58):
No? No, no, no, no, I mean I know I'm saying
that's what more than people do. I'm saying, oh, light
have been to you. But uh, what about a hall pass?
Did that ever work? I mean, I don't think so.
I feel like I got one in a sense. You know,
it's like we sort of both did, but it's different now.
I don't know, not really, because you were both like
(26:19):
taking a break. Yes, hall pass, you're not taking a break.
Hall pass is you're fully married and like you get
one night. I guess with somebody else, I don't think
that could work. I think it would destroy a marriage, right,
isn't that that movie?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Yeah? With them? Yeah, I've never seen it. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
I mean, I I don't listen. I don't rule out anything.
There's different. Everybody's different, and whatever works for your marriage,
great if it, you know, I don't know for my
marriage at this point in life. Ast of all, I don't
want one.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
I'm not that doesn't honestly like I feel at this
point in my life. I used to crave the attention
of men. It was so important to me that I
walked into a room and that men would look at
me and that they thought that I was sexy. Now,
if I never felt that again, it would be too soon,
Like I don't have that. That doesn't drive me so
a hall pass.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Listen.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
I mean, I'm not going to kick George Clooney out
of my bed like you used to talk about that,
or like I used to have. I was obsessed with
Blake Shelton and so because I'm like always upstairs in
my bed just like, Okay, guess what if Blake Shelton
makes it to our house and he goes up the
stairs and he sees you sitting there with crumbs around you, okay,
(27:33):
in your like like just laying there like a.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Slot, and he you want to and he wants to
go for it.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Really, I don't think I've ever heard Evan once mentioned
that he thought any kind of celebrity was attractive. And
he doesn't like if I talk about it. I'll tell
you something when the when the show first came on.
When I was first on the show back in twenty eighteen,
I was at an event and I was so like
new to all of this, and then and Page six
(28:03):
was there and they were interviewing people. They pulled me over.
I don't think our show was even airing yet. We
had just finished filming, and they were like, we're going
to ask you rapid fire, like twenty questions.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
So they were asking me favorite restaurant, favorite food, you know,
favorite brand to wear, and then they said celebrity crush.
I said, I don't really have one, and they said,
just just pick somebody.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
So I always thought that the football player.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
That Kim Kardashian was married to was gorgeous, So I said,
who's that guy that Kim Kardashian was married to?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Reggie Bush? And they said, okay, next question.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
You know, they kept going and the next morning, Evan
got like twenty like people sending him. The headline was
New New Jersey House. I was a crush on Reggie Bush.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
He was pissed.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I think he was embarrassed, and I felt so bad
so I tried not to like ever like even mentioned
that I feel like somebody else might be attractive because
I don't want to insult him, like I feel bad,
but like he knows that I have, like anyone who
knows me knows that I have like a wicked, wild
crush on Pete Davidson. And it's so fucking unrealistic, Like
(29:20):
what's really gonna happen? Is he really gonna leave? Like
and all the crushed on having Goldschneider. I mean, let's
get real, but like.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
I don't know, we were just talking about swing. No
thank you. Love love that man, but no thank you.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
And obviously we know he's got Jackie gold Stutter doesn't
me but anyway, But the point is that Jeff would.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Never that doesn't even occur to him.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
I mean we like we can be there watching a
movie with our kids and I could oh my god,
he's so hot, or you see, I don't oh god
that she's so your type.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
I don't know why they know that. Yeah, it's always sad.
I don't think Evan has ever said that he thinks
that somebody. Why does that make you feel bad?
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I think no, because I don't want to disrespect him
by saying like, oh that person like I would. I
mean I would never say all that man is cute,
you know, but like even like a silly celebrity crush
like I I don't know, we don't talk about though
I would say that.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
I would say any of that and do say it,
like like even just oh my god, look at that guy.
He's gorgeous, like in front of I don't know, my kids,
And it doesn't that doesn't phaze me.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
I don't want to haul pass and I'm not giving out. No,
I don't have either maybe back in the day. So
what about so when you see all that time, Mary,
what is it?
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Mary? Kill? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
I mean like even that, like I would not feel
comfortable because I think that he would be insulted. Yeah,
and also like I don't really want to sure, Like
I love my husband, I don't know that family. And
when I think about somebody else, but I'll, yeah, get
on the list. I mean like there's a lot of people, but.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I feel like it would destroy it.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Like if I was to do that, it's not only
hurting my husband, it's hurting my children.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
And I don't I don't ever want to think about that,
you know.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Yeah, Listen, when we when Jeff and I were separated,
I because I had experienced a lot of divorce as
a kid, and I was the you know kid in
the scenario. My parents got divorced when I was three,
So in my mind it I think I was surprised
by how badly it hurt them, which seems silly and naive,
but for me, it was part of my life right
(31:39):
growing up, and.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
I that was.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
The hardest part was watching my kids miss daddy so much,
and you know, not having our family unit together. And
I I'm an idiot that I didn't anticipate that, but
again I was. To me, it was like a part
of life, right, And so the kid thing is very,
(32:05):
very complicated.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Again, I think that that.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
You have to factor yourself into the equation, even when
it comes to your family. Your happiness has to matter.
Have you ever been with a woman? I've kissed a woman?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Really, yes, I never have.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yes, I kissed a woman again, like to please a man.
It was so sad, right, So I don't know, I
don't know about telling too much, but I did it
to turn on a guy. That's just so pathetic.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
But it's so you'll talk about masturbating in the bathroom
with a playboy from your stepfather.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
But A yeah, I don't know, some stuff feels right
to talk about. Other it feels listen. I mean, what
else is there to say? I kissed a woman?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I mean how no, no, no, no no. I was wondering
this the circumstances.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
So, you know, just to reiterate, like I just this
study that I was looking at. It said that in
your twenties. The average American has sex eighty times a year,
which comes out to.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Like one and a half times a week. But that's
more that I mean, that's less than I would expect. Yeah,
when you're in your when you're in your.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Fifties or you have school age children, it's about once
a week, and then when you're in your sixties it's
twenty times a year.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Well, I don't want to be disrespectful to my mom.
She's a super ager. Yeah, yeah, at least it did.
I mean now she's she's eighty one years old.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
But we've had discussions about it, and her mindset was always.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
That if it's if it pleases your husband so much
and gives I don't know, relief in some way, then
you know what's the problem, Like it's something that you do,
and not that she didn't enjoy it too, but more
from the perspective of, you know, the physical like if
(34:03):
he has this physical need and he feels like when
it's not satisfied, it's it's very hard to deal with
and a lot of I know a lot of women
and you probably do too, who feel like when they
don't have have consistent sex with their husbands or their
partners or whatever, that the partners get in a bad
mood and it comes like in between them. I mean
(34:26):
you hear that from your friends, Like I have friends
that say, you know, get mad, they would go get
very crazy. They withhold sex when they're mad at their husbands.
I think it'd be hard to have sex when you're
mad at your partner. For me, it would be the
last thing i'd want to do. But not not not
to manipulate.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
You know. Personal problem for me was so you know,
I had an eating disorder for a very very long time,
and during that time, I used to play around with
dangerous foods. When I say dangerous, I mean like they
had chemicals in them that I see they.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Were yeh's a snap. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
So oftentimes I was extremely bloated. Even though I was
skin and bones, I was. I was very bloated. So
I used to wear a shirt very often when I
had sex, and it was because I didn't like the
way that my stomach looked right and I wasn't comfortable
(35:24):
being naked. I was also very very cold, and that's
one thing with recovery, Like I don't have that anymore,
and it's great, but I always felt bad because I
knew it was a little bit weird not to be naked.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
So I relate to that like wholeheartedly. When I was younger,
I wore absolutely always, Oh my god, yes, and again,
I mean, you know, I've scept with an union disorder
as well. But even you know, the times where I
would get really really heavy and I wouldn't even think
about getting completely naked into If I'm being completely honest,
(36:01):
I still have insecurities, even in front of Jeff, who
has certainly seen it all. It's interesting to me that
I've at least the men that I've been with, they
don't seem to have any insecurities no matter what their
body looks like, which I wish that.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
I think.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
I wish that I had always felt like that, But
I hope that keeps going back to sorry rag to
my daughter, But I hope she feels like that right like,
no matter what she feels in her body, that she
would be able to enjoy sex and feel free and
feel desirable, you know, no matter what.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
But I didn't. I still always, I still don't always.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
I don't walk around I would walk around naked if
I have during the time where I felt like my
body looked really good. I definitely have, but now not
wanting to go back to last week's episode about ozembic,
but things have changed and it just I look, my
body looks so much older than it used to and
I have I definitely have a little bit of shame
(36:58):
around that and don't want to I'm not as free
as I was at one time, but it's gone.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
In and out. Like can you do anything about that?
I suppose I could exercise? Would that? No? Would that?
Do it? Like? What kind like lifting wasting weights or yeah?
I told I think.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
I also said in the last episode, I'm trying to
incorporate more of that. And it's not just because of
my looks, but because at you know, fifty five years old,
I need to your bone density is fading and it's
so important right to keep muscle and to keep blimber
and flexible. And I'm just I'm when it comes to exercise,
(37:32):
I'm lazy, so but it is, it's really important. And now,
of course that would change. I think it would change
what my body look like. When you fill up the
skin with muscle, it's got to look better.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yeah, right, I still don't walk around naked. I love
the way my body looks now. But I still don't
walk around naked. I don't know, it doesn't feel natural
to me.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Really.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yeah, my kids, two of my kids will walk around
naked all day.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yeah, I don't care at all. The other day, Hudson,
he uh, he got.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Like but like a sweatburn on his thighs, and I
gave him a cream that started burning him and he's like,
oh my god.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
He takes his short so he's just running.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Around the house like beat his flapping you know, and
his new little pubes everywhere.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
You don't give a crap. He didn't give a crap.
So don't you feel like that's more of a boy thing.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Yeah, I mean lately for my kids, I think that
my son was waiting up than my daughter again, like
it's sad that I would like for her to beat
Peel is free.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Yeah I don't. That would be nice. Can you imagine
feeling so free?
Speaker 2 (38:39):
No? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:40):
No?
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Maybe there any other personal stories.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Well, I mean we didn't touch on like which I
think we had spoken about before the podcast, But in
terms of like that whole that whole life kink factor
and sort of what I have. I do have that
part of me and I'm not gonna delve in. I
don't want to, you know, freak anyone out. But I
do have that part of me that is has a
very rich not imagination, well not just imagination, but fantasy
(39:16):
life right that I incorporate. It helps me during sex
to enjoy it. And I never really acted on any
of those fantasies. But sometimes I sometimes think to myself, like,
is that devan behavior? Talk to my therapist, abduct.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Are they solo fantasies or they involve your partner solo?
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Oh? And so I wonder is that's something? Is that
a common thing? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (39:45):
I think everybody like closes their eyes sometimes thinks about
something else when you feel bad.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
About that, knowing that like Evan was doing that, thinking
about other women or other situations or other who knows,
I mean other situation.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
I mean, like, honest to God, sometimes during sex I'll
have to stop myself from thinking about like my choor lists,
like what I.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Have to get as to the supermarket. Want.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
No, it doesn't help exactly, but I mean, like your
mind does wander, yeahs to get there?
Speaker 2 (40:11):
Would I be insulted?
Speaker 1 (40:13):
I think I think a little like piece of my
ego would probably be, but only because I don't know
how fucking normal it is. I'm sure if you asked
a hundred people and they didn't use their name and
they were being honest, that a hundred people would tell
you that sometimes they close their eyes and like picture
someone else.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
It's not even someone else. Sure Evan has done it. Person.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
I'm not like closing my eyes and picturing a specific
another man or woman, right, but I am picturing like
I have these scenarios that turn me on, and you know,
it's it is, it can be for me at times,
it feels a little shameful. I don't know that it
should though, you know, it's like and maybe it's supposed
(40:54):
to stay private, and I've shared stuff with Jeff, but
like also like acting on those with my husband is
not something that I feel like it would just be
so corny and silly, right, Like.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
I mean I don't know what they are. Well, I'm
not going to tell you.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Okay, Well maybe one day, who knows, see how popular
the podcast gets.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Yeah, right, maybe that will be your celebration.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Yeah, I am like sexed out.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Yeah, I feel like any cigarette. Oh wait, there was
another thing, yeah, vacation. Oh yeah, I mean like, who
put this like false narrative out there that Amen's sister. Yeah,
you're supposed to have feel like there's so much more
relaxed on vacation. I mean it.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Depends like are you alone with your husband? Is it
like a couple's trip, Because then I understand.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
Well, I mean even if it's not like we always had,
like you have a separate room from your kids? Is it, oh,
you have a separate room at home. I guess I
don't know. I didn't get the whole. I don't relate
to the whole, Like we're on vacation. Now's the time
we could finally like relax and let loose the intimacy
that I feel on vacation. This doesn't sound like corny,
but like it's just doing fun things with Jeff Right.
(42:05):
It's like being relaxed enough to you know, have him
hang out with me in the morning, drinking coffee in
the bed and getting up and.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
Having a whole day in front of us.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
That's just about like what we want to do and
enjoying that because I couldn't I don't think I could
go on. I couldn't be with anyone on a vacation
like any like I could be with Jeff. I don't
want to go on. Maybe when I get older, I
want to go away with a friend or but I
like just being with him. We have the same rhythm.
(42:36):
We've like developed this whole both of us, this whole
rhythm on vacation. We kind of are in sync, right,
like we only want to do so much or I
only want to do so much touring. I want to
do a lot of eating, so does Jeff. Right, I
want to do a lot of laying around. I want
to do a lot of shopping, and well he would
(42:59):
rather actually not too much shopping. But we have also
seeing sites, right, But we have we've set up this
rhythm after all these years that we just have a
great time when we're away. And it's not because you know,
we're hanging from the chandeliers.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
It's just not, Yeah, you guys so much fun.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
I wish we could do like a question answer service names.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
I know, maybe we could, maybe we could do like
a live show and take like callers and stuff. I
have guests on. I want to have I do want
to have guys on. Yeah, we're gonna start having guests.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Send us like what you want us to talk about
we're so excited.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
We're gonna be.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Doing this for a long time, so we're gonna be
coming to you, you know, right now. It's going to
be every two weeks, but uh, we'll see what happens.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Just future holds, who knows, I know what the future holds.
Can Jeff get home?
Speaker 3 (43:49):
When Jeff gets home, yeah, the future then holds me
in bed with Netflix and.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Crumbs and fantasies of Blake Shelton. That's exactly all right. Well,
we are two Jersey Jays. We love you, guys, we do.
Thank you for listening. Talk to you. Bye.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
M
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