January 24, 2025 • 60 mins
Erika and Teddi are stepping out of their comfort zone to discuss all things sex…
What dating apps are they on? Where have they struggled intimately? What are their favorite positions? Does size matter?
Plus Dr. Viviana Coles, the Intimacy Expert from “Married at First Sight” shares how to best enhance your sex drive and the importance of pillow talk.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, guys, Welcome to another episode of Diamonds in the
Rough with myself, Teddy Mellencamp and.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hi, I'm Erica Jane.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Well, if this doesn't perfectly sum up who we are
at this moment, Erica is on Broadway and filming the
pod from New York and I am in a camper
in Palm Desert, So.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Well, what are you doing there in the camper and
Palm Desert.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
I am here at the camper because we are back
at our first horse show of the year, and so yeah,
and we're trying to you know, cut some coths do
the things. Like it was. It was fine camper life.
Night one was all right, except for the fact that
Slay wanted to be in the primary room and I
(01:05):
just loved on the buck. I was like, I am
having flashbacks of my childhood. My dad's tour bus. That's
a really junkie one.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Not in the John Mellencamp tour bus.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Right.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
You know what, Uh, the horse world is is expensive.
You know, it's an expensive and extensive world to live
in and you know, be successful, and it's not for
the faint of heart. How are you.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
I am? I'm good. You know, it's the crazy thing
about you know, getting divorced and you know, I mean
not that you're divorced, but this the ending of uh,
you know, a relationship is just like the different stages
of how you feel throughout time. Sure, and you know
(01:56):
there's some days that are great and some days are
little bit freakin' dicey, you know very much. So trying
to communicate with somebody that you know was once you know,
I'm a micromanager in general, so like, yeah, that has
always been my thing, like our schedules, organizing things and
(02:19):
having to like take that step back and realize, like, okay,
that's actually no longer your job on the days that
you're not with the kids is I mean, it's it's heartbreaking,
but it's also like, Okay, this is what it feels
like to like go with the flow. I've never I
don't know in my life, I've ever gone with the flow.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Well yeah, and I don't like that either, going with
the flow. But I've surrendered to that moment of just
sort of you know, I don't know what's coming next,
and I can't predict it, and I'm out here on
my own two feet, which is great. Like I'm not
bitching but there are moments where I'm like, oh shit,
you know what is going on? What do you do
on your days if you're not with the kids.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
So I mean I pod every day, so like I'm
always working. And then now I'm it's it sounds crazy,
but like I've gone on a couple of dates.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yes, fucker, I don't even go on dates.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Well, you want to hear the crazy thing.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I'm not trying to get these dates. Wait, how are
you getting these dates?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Well, so this is pretty crazy. So I signed up
for Hinge and I was like, this is a freaking joke,
Like why are only twenty eight year olds reaching out
to me? Like why? And then I realized it's because
I had my age down too low. But I was like, clearly,
I don't need to be dating a twenty eight year old.
I mean, I'm they're hot, but like I don't. I
(03:44):
don't need it. And plus I can't really figure out
Hinge because I'm too old. I don't know what a
rose means versus a heart, Like I don't know. But
there was somebody who messaged me and just was like
complimented one of the photos and it was weird. I
like recognized his face, like I was like I know
(04:05):
him and where well this is the crazy part. So
like I let it sit for like a couple of days.
I was like, no need to respond to the rose
or whatever I got. And then because he didn't say anything,
he just hard like rosed it. So I was like,
maybe I don't know, maybe I'm going crazier, maybe he's
an actor. I don't know what the hell it is.
(04:27):
And then the other day I just messaged and I
was like, by any chance did I meet you in
like nineteen ninety nine? Are you friends with the following people?
And he's like, yes, Teddy, I was wondering if you
were going to remember.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Me nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yes, I was nineteen when I first came out to LA,
but I recognized his face. But I sae and he's
like and then he's like, yes, Teddy, I you know,
I was just waiting to see if you.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Remember so you guys went out, yeah, And well.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
I mean, I don't know. It's more about like the
conversations leading to going out all those But.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I'm not saying that, like you know what I'm just
saying like is it nice to be out and like
having a conversation, you know, like being I don't know,
friendly or something.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Yeah, well he particularly I have not gone out with
yet because talking and having conversation and it's that weird
like who knows. But it's been so long that I'm like,
I don't even know, like do people flirt or like
play games? Like what what happens around you?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
You are looking at the wrong person to I don't
know anything.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
But before we get into your dating sage, how's Broadway?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
There is no dating sage. Broadways fabulous. I got a
standing elevation in my opening night. I standing elevation my
second night. It's great. I'm having fun. You know, there's
such a community here at Chicago, the musical Everybody there's
just really special and nice. And I needed something relaxing
(06:09):
like Broadway, you know, to come and do I love it?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Are any of the same people that were on the
show still Yes, So that's gotten more comforting.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
It is because you get to share the stage with them,
they and they you know, I did it eighty times.
But that was five years ago. So we were hurting,
Oh my god, that was five years ago. Yes, you
were pregnant, getting older?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
We how has that been five years? In my mind,
I was like, that was two years ago.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
By the way. But by the way, these five years
for you and me have been horrible. Not like think
about just think think about, just think about from December
twenty twenty till January twenty twenty five, I mean or January.
I was with January twe I mean, it has been
(07:02):
a rough five years for both of us. Look at
how much our lives have changed, I mean just personal things.
So yeah, but Broadway's great. I'm having a great time.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
And you're there three more weeks, Yeah, February eleven, three
more February eleventh. Well, I'm so excited for you. That
is awesome. We took some listeners feedback, and something that
a lot of the listeners wanted to hear us talk
about is sex. Something that's so interesting. I mean, Erica knows.
(07:37):
Like when I first met Erica, I wouldn't even say
the word orgasm. I would say, oh.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
She was very you were very very conservative.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Like beyond.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
So I little like, come on, you were a little stiff.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yeah, I was very very stiff. So the fact that
we're doing this podcast, I'm talking about sex is definitely
out of my comfort zone, especially because we're doing it
at ten am. I couldn't even have a glass of
Champce to like loosen myself up. I was like, oh shit,
this is going to be.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
A dude, this is going to be hey, but you
know what, sex is an important part of your life,
our lives as women, and you know, life goes on
and I need to be having more.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
When was the last time you had sex?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Maybe a few weeks ago, maybe a month ago. But
I don't really.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Hold on if you haven't mentioned anything to me about
such things.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Because it's not that important. Oh if it was something
that was important, i'd be like, hey, get into this,
but it's nothing to report, so I could say, like
a month ago, yeah, but I have not been focused.
But wait, I want to give myself a little bit
of moment here. I've not been focused because I on that,
(09:04):
because I've been focused on getting this show together, and
that is like all confuting. But now that I'm here
and I've just done it a few times, and you
know what, when I saw Andy for WA's What Happens
Live last week, he was telling me, He's like, Erica,
you have to get on the apps. I was like,
are you sure? He was like yes, I'm telling you
now that you're on, maybe I should get on.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, I mean I'm on Hinge.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
That's what Laya was on and she Ray won't let
me on.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Yeah, they didn't let me on either.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
I think it's a housewives.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Think I'm on Hinge, And I mean it's the other
night we were I went to dinner with Kyle and
we spent you know, forty five minutes going through the
people that have hearted or a rosed me and we
just freaking laughed and like pressed X like no, no, no.
I mean it's it's a lot of no's. It's like
(09:54):
being an actor. You're going to get a lot of no's.
You're gonna have to say a lot of no's before
we get that. Yes, but I.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Think that's a cool thing. I mean, what did you do?
Did you take? What pictures? Did you I don't even know.
Maybe I should download.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
This thing, so yeah, I think you should do it.
I mean my profile, let me let me read it.
I mean I didn't take it very seriously on my
profile because I was like, I'm not I'm not taking
this app very seriously.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Hinge Dating app Match to install Hinge. If you're listening,
send us something.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Yeah, whatever, what do they make us? Yeah, like make us.
Some people are verified Hinge users. I'm not. I don't
know how to become one. I don't know what that means,
but it is me.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
What is my phone number? I'm doing it right now,
go ahead, good.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
But what I have learned is that quickly once you're
on Hinge, they want to transition right out of Hinge.
Like they're like, hey, because you can with Hinge, you respond,
then they respond like there's no like double messaging if
you forgot to say something or you did a typo.
(11:11):
So the couple of people I have spoken to on
hinge immediately or like can I get your phone number?
Or can we talk on Instagram? Because this isn't pain
in the ass? Oh okay, yeah, so it's like it's
not you know whatever, it's slightly Yeah, I just I
got to introduduce to what do you put up pictures
(11:32):
and stuff? Yeah, you have to put up pictures and
then what Hinge does. So I put up like five
pictures a couple I'm like glammed out, and then a
couple like ones of me riding horses, and then ones
of me like no makeup, looking like like here's the range,
like this is this is me. You're either going to
get this, or you're gonna get this yeah, or I'm
(11:55):
going to be riding a horse like this. These are
the options. There's no real middle ground for me. And
then hiinge sees which one of those pictures is liked
the most and then makes that your primary photo.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Okay, I know, Okay, so.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
My primary photos changed a couple of times, but either way,
it's it's been a nice distraction.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
What kind of men are are are messaging you?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Like?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Are they professionals or are they I don't know? Like
what are you getting? Like you say, like your age
range or something or yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
You put your age range. You can see like what
they do, so like they're I mean, I don't really care.
As long as somebody is like passionate about what they're
doing and like has a regular job and whatever, then
I don't really care. I would have to go in
a couple of days to decide that. But uh, I
mean I don't want to date an actor. I don't
(12:56):
want to like, uh, but somebody in entertain I don't mind. Also,
like location, like there's some people that are just locationally
undesirable to me.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Well, this friend of mine said on Riah that he
matched with some guy in Istanbul. I was like, we
live in La, Like what the cook is that? Like?
Why is that? That's not a match at all? What
are we going to know? I like five continents to
go on a date.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
No, I did my mileage range within thirty miles, which
I still think is too far, because you know that
even thirty miles in LA means we're probably going to
like Manhattan Beach, and I ain't going there.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
No, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Manhattan Beach is lovely, but I'm not doing it. But yeah,
so it's interesting and you know, who knows what will
come of it. And but I think on those nights
that I am alone, it's nice to talk to people
that I think it's nice.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
To flirt, right, and it's nice that it's nice to
flirt and get a conversation going or whatever.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Yeah, And I mean I haven't gone on very many dates,
but I've gone on, you know, one from Hinge, one
not from Hinge. And I mean it's weird. You know,
you don't really I don't even know the freaking rules anymore.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Do you feel awkward? Because I would feel really like
a I don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I feel one, there's like that moment of anxiety like
that I said to both the guys that I've gone
out with. Listen, I know this is like because I
don't want to make it like bragging, but I'm like,
just as a heads up, if you're eating dinner with me,
there is a chance that paparazzi is going to take.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
A picture right now and they kind of know that
you who you were before maybe like this, I mean,
do you say that you do like.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
When I say that I'm a podcast host and TV personality.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
And that's pretty much gonna yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
Yeah. So but before I've gone out with the two people,
I just said, as a heads up, I'm not my
reputation isn't the best right now, and pop parazzi are
pretty on me. So if you're not comfortable with a
shot that you that may or may not be taken.
Not that I'm doing anything physical with these people, but
(15:20):
I said, then we should not meet up. And what
we could thought both of them are like I don't
give a fuck, like whatever, but they're not they're not
reality like it's it's a very different and and and
that being said, both of them pictures weren't taken yet.
The other day, I'm at freaking Lakinitta eating with Morgan
(15:43):
and Kyle and our friend Nicole. I look like their
freaking bodyguard wandering around and there's a million pap parazzi
pictures and I'm.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Like that off, I haven't seen those. I've been in
a bubble over here. I need to like take a
look around. Hi.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know, are you
a Charlotte. In nineteen ninety seven, my life was forever
changed when I took on the role of Charlotte Yorke
on a new HBO show called Sex and the City.
As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte navigate relationships
in New York City, the show helped push once unacceptable
conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative
(16:27):
around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them
as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships.
Now I want to connect with you and share untold
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What will begin with Sex and the City will evolve
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(16:49):
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Speaker 3 (17:10):
Okay, so, Erica, if now that we're getting you signed
up for Hene or Lias getting you signed up for
hend right now, what photos are you going to put
on that? Well, then what's going to be your age range?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Well, for the age range, I can understand. That's easy.
It's my age and younger. It's not. You know, I
don't want to date anybody.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
But how young would you go?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Maybe thirty? I mean, because I'm not looking for anything
that's serious. I want to just have fun and meet
different people. I've been married all of my adult life.
I'm really okay not doing something like that, but having
a good time meeting interesting people or having good conversations
or doing fun things. Sure, thirty maybe too young to like,
(17:57):
you know, know, anything, but probably really good. So that's
how I kind of look at it. Yeah, yeah, you know,
I can last a long time. But that's important for me.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
So is it lasting a long time or knowing what
they need to do in that time frame?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Well, I can teach, but I don't want to. But
sometimes there's some savvy thirty year olds. Yeah, m you know,
sometimes there are some savvy thirty year olds. I don't
know that I could do the twenties thing.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Yeah, I mean I don't love that I could be
reaching out to me or like the twenty eight range.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah, i'd do that. I'd be like, I don't think
you'd want I mean, I know what you're after. That's cool,
but I don't know if I'm after that too.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
But also I'm like, I have a jillion children and
I'm available on Tuesdays.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Like, well, maybe I don't know that i'm but they don't.
They don't. Yeah, but that's you know, aren't they're not
available either?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Yeah? So who knows?
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Do you? How do you? Yeah? I think what my
thing is is that what is my name? Oh, it's
already asking me my name? No background checks are conducted,
which was going to be my next question.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, Now what.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Name should I use? My last name? Should I use
my name? What? What? What name did you use?
Speaker 3 (19:24):
I used Teddy Mellencown. I just went with my name,
and but I could easily. It's effortless to tell if
somebody is like a starfucker, like they're trying. Like one
guy's like, so, I'm like, I know, you could just
google me. You saw that it says TV personality and
podcast hosts like, but he's like, so what television shows?
(19:46):
Like every question he's asked was related to what I do,
and I was like, well that's a note for me,
you know, Like I after the third question, I was like,
he's like, so when do you want to meet up?
And I just put I didn't even I was like,
you know what, I don't even need to respond. I
can just X and then he can't write me anymore.
(20:08):
It's so easy, Like it's very clear, Nope, not interested.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
R I k A.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
I think you could do Erica Jane. I guess right, yeah,
I mean it feels right Erica Girardi doesn't. I mean,
then you get into a different level of googling.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
It's all bad either way, it's all bad. You think
you're bad. Your way to sign it, and I'm gonna continue
this way.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yeah right, you're gonna I'm gonna hold you accountable to
this now you're not, yes, I am no. Do you
realize the joy and happiness that Kyle felt the other
day when we were out going through my hinge and
then one of the guys messaged and was like, hey,
(21:00):
can we talk And I was like, I'm with a
bunch of friends, but you're welcome to FaceTime us. And
he did and we were all like crying, laughing, and
he looked like the age of like I could have
birthed him myself.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
I was like, so, what do you like?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
I was like, what what's up? And He's like, snow
to la and you looked hot and I want to
have some fun and like Kyle and I are like
tears are coming out of our eyes. And then he's like,
you know, just saying stuff like you know. In order
(21:40):
to talk to you, I had to get out of
bed and I put some clothes on and I was like, oh,
oh god.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
I can't see Teddy. I'm just too jaded. I'd be like,
you know what, I can't, please don't do this. I
guess when put.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
On a tank top, I was like, this isn't going
to be a Now after this informational face time with Kyle,
and Jen and Christine.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
But well, when when Liah was on Hinge years ago,
she would let me answer for her right, so I
would be Liah. I got us kipped off because I
may or may not have said that were appropriate. I
don't know. I don't think. Yes, I don't know if
my my online career is going to be that great.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Well, no, we're going to make it great. Maybe we
can find Hinge friends. We're going to bring on a
sex therapist and talk to her a little bit, and
then we're going to get in and talk about like
the real shit that this is more about, like hormones,
how it changes as we you know, are you know,
(22:45):
we don't like to say getting older, but as our
bodies change, those types of.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Things, desires change.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Yeah, yeah, okay, So we're going to bring on her.
Name's doctor Viviana Coles. She's dedicated her career to helping
(23:12):
couples and individuals navigate emotional and physical intimacy. Pillow talk. No,
I'm so good at pillow talk.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
I'm the nastiest pillow talker, the nastiest.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Technic, so nasty I can do. Pillow talk to me
is like dainty and like like like I'm not like
I'm fine to be the little spoon and like be
held tight and like really feel it. But like I'm
not like a light caressing type of person.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I can do it, are you? I can do it all?
Speaker 3 (23:51):
A fucking course you can. You know what, just because
you're gonna be on hinge now and you want to
take all my dates, it's a little bit.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I don't think we're going to be in the same pool.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I think we are.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
No, I don't think he liked the same thing.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah, I don't either, But let's bring her on real quick,
pretty high. Hi guy, so he Hi, good to see
you too. So I mean we have like some thoughts
starting questions, but honestly, if there's anything just like sex
(24:28):
related things changing related, how people that don't necessarily know
what they like, what's missing those types of things I
think would be interesting. But yeah, we're here with doctor
Do I call you doctor viv I feel like the
last time we did the pot me.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
Doctor viv doctor Viviana, doctor v whatever you want whatever role.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Okay, all right, so doctor v that tracks for what
this podcast is about, which is sex. What is like
your biggest recommendation for somebody who doesn't necessarily know what
they're missing and their sexual relationship.
Speaker 5 (25:11):
Ultimately, whether you're solo or in a relationship where you
can have partnered experiences. I want everyone's sex drive to
really enhance their life. And for so many of us women,
especially as we're getting a little bit older into our
forties and fifties, we start to feel like, oh my gosh,
I have this freedom with my body, this vulnerability that
(25:31):
I've never experienced before. But sometimes our sex drives plummet.
So I would love to encourage everyone to really tap
into their largest sex organ, the brain. I'm sure you've
heard this before. It's so important to let those sexy
thoughts in, let them stew. If you need help with that,
or if you just need a little bit of like
a shove in the right direction, head over to my
(25:54):
Vivid Fantasy and create your own fantasy.
Speaker 6 (25:57):
So, my vivid fantasy, what is this? Yeah, it's okay,
this is new teddy. You don't know anything about this yet.
Speaker 5 (26:03):
So my Vivid Fantasy is something that I have created.
It is a choose your own sexy adventure.
Speaker 6 (26:12):
For adults, obviously, and you.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
Can fill it out on your own or with a partner.
But preferably on your own, because we want this to
be all about what you want, what you find sexy,
where you want to be to all of that, and
it takes you through what used to be an in
office exercise.
Speaker 6 (26:30):
For me, with my clients, I would take them like,
detail by detail. What do you smell, what do you hear?
What do you see?
Speaker 5 (26:35):
All of that Now I've digitized it, so any moment
of the day or an evening, you can go on
create your own fantasy and it spits out an erotic
story that's all your own. And the process of doing
this has absolutely opened women's minds in general, but men too.
Speaker 6 (26:55):
I have a lot of partners that are doing this
in mind.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I just don't want to ask you this. What do
you find is the biggest thing holding women back from
doing something like this, from having like a fantasy.
Speaker 5 (27:08):
K A lot of women are stuck in this idea
of where where am I supposed to find the time
or the energy?
Speaker 6 (27:16):
And when is it okay to have sexy thoughts?
Speaker 5 (27:19):
Is it only during sex For a lot of women, yes,
that's when they think they should That's the only time
they should be thinking about sex is in the sex act.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
You need to be stroking.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
That organ all day long in order to feel ready
to actually be physical, either with yourself or with someone else.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
Think about the fact that women often take twenty.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Minutes longer than men to reach the same level of
pleasure or even orgasm. If you're waiting until you're in
the moment, imagine how far behind.
Speaker 6 (27:50):
You might feel.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
So and I think that one of the reasons that
men do this pretty well and I think they're ahead
of us, is that they allow sexy thoughts to come
in and they don't immediately go oh my gosh, no,
oh my gosh, no, get away, no, no, this is not
the time, wait what like, you know, and for a
lot of women, I think we just really struggle with that.
So this kind of gives you the the arena. But
(28:12):
even if you're even if you have five.
Speaker 6 (28:15):
Minutes and you're waiting for your uber or just take.
Speaker 5 (28:19):
The time to do this because you can always respond,
you know, you can always go back and actually read it.
But allow those sexy thoughts and ladies, it does wonders
for your sex drive, and it'll get you a little
bit more revved long beyond, you know, long before you
go into anything sexy with someone else. The other thing
that I would tell you is, if you're in a relationship,
(28:41):
you need to have more pillow talk. Now, pillow talk
for me is an underlying sensual current, and that is
the touching, the laughing, the joking, the teasing, all the
things that happen when you're nowhere near a sex act,
but you're just playful in that way. If you can
continue to have that in your relationship, sex won't feel
(29:02):
like you're going from cold to hot from awesome on.
It won't be like this thing that you're jumping in
and out of like so many people say.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Teddy says she doesn't like pillow talk, but I do,
and I think that it's a real skill. And I
think Teddy, like, the more you do it, the more
you're like, you don't think I.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
Know what it until you just kind of explained it.
I didn't really know what pillow talk was. Like, it's
not like.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
You're right, pillow talk is what used to happen when
you were like maybe postcoital.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
And yeah, I don't like that.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
Like it's like, you know, let's talk and share sweet
nothings and talk about what just happened. People don't do
that and and I'm not saying you shouldn't, but thank you.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Okay, let's hear it. What do you talk about, Erica?
Speaker 6 (29:51):
What are you about?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Listen? I will talk to you about what I felt
felt good? What how I like the way you touched me,
or you know, part of your body feels really good
to me, or this was amazing that. Oh yeah, like
I'm really into all of that. I'll give you the
full rundown.
Speaker 6 (30:08):
Okay. And what happens when it's not so great? Do
you also do that? Or is that another time.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
You're just not that when it's not that great, I
won't even get to that. Does that make sense? Like
I only do that with people number one? I feel
really comfortable with number two that I've had a nice
time with. Like that is something that to me is
almost it's going to sound crazy, almost more intimate than
the actual sec that's sex act itself, because if I'm
being vulnerable with you and telling you the things that
(30:37):
I liked and what I want to see more of,
that means I enjoyed myself. I had a good time.
Speaker 5 (30:41):
Yeah, so a lot of people are not giving each
other that feedback. I'm so happy for you that you
do and I think it's it's a great thing. I
often recommend that people give feedback.
Speaker 6 (30:52):
Outside of the sexual experience.
Speaker 5 (30:53):
That way, it doesn't feel like so raw and you're
not so sensitive whether it's good or bad.
Speaker 6 (30:59):
But yes, absolutely do your thing.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
But my pillow talk, and actually I'm writing a book
about it right now, is really trying to help people
to have have the ability to say, you know, I
want you because I show you.
Speaker 6 (31:11):
And it's not just during sex.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Yeah, no, I really like someone, Like I have a long,
like daily communication, like long sort of sensual lead up
to like seeing them, like I'm that's who I am.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
I'm like the seduction. The seduction is all I'll.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Do it just four hours a day, Like that's how
my brain works, and that's what I do. Like, I'm
on it. If I'm in if I like someone and
I'm really in that space, nothing stops me from that.
Speaker 6 (31:40):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
And I'm so new to it, which sounds crazy because
I've been married for agion years, but I'm so new
to being single and kind of exploring this other side
of me because you know, I think, and this isn't
too shade my ex or anything like that, but it
(32:03):
really when you have a bunch of little kids and
you're you know, you're going through the motions. It almost
feels like you know your business partners. You're like, all right,
we're gonna go in, we're gonna do this, we're gonna
handle it, and then here we go. We wrapped it
up and good we we we had sex a couple
times this week, and so we're nailing it well.
Speaker 5 (32:21):
I actually have a quiz that'll help you to figure
out how to do this better, how to have more
pillow talk in both a physical ineverbal way, and it's
pillowtop quiz dot Com and Teddy. I definitely want you
to take it because I think you'll find that you'll
be able to recognize like, oh, going forward, I really
should be more mindful of this or know how this
(32:42):
comes across, or because you're you. What you're describing is
so many people out there where it's like, look, I
love scheduling sex because I'm a busy woman.
Speaker 6 (32:54):
But most people don't want to schedule because they feel like, oh,
it's too much of checking off the box. If you
have pillow talk, if.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
You have more pillow talk in your relationship, it doesn't
feel like you're checking something off. It feels like you're like, oh,
this is this is part of the fabric of what
we've done, and it doesn't feel so random, and it
doesn't feel so pressure.
Speaker 6 (33:12):
You know, so much pressure and forced. Just beware of
these things. So many people I wish I could. I
do a lot of premarital counseling.
Speaker 5 (33:19):
I actually started a program when I first started my
practice back in two thousand and eight because I was like,
oh my gosh, if people just knew these things at
the beginning of their relationships, they might not be coming
in with the at the end of their relationship. So
being aware of this and like being a I guess
a consumer of relationship education, I feel like we don't
(33:39):
do enough of that.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
If you are in a place and I mean I
get the you know, the other things that you've discussed,
but if you're in a place where all of a sudden,
you're want you're feeling this urge, or you're feeling like
these different feelings that you haven't felt before, how do
you give yourself the confidence to like express those feelings
(34:05):
to you know? I think I think so much of
my life, you know, when I was younger and then
kind of throughout different relationships up until getting married, you know,
like sex was like a forbidden thing and like showing
who I was or what I enjoyed, like I never
felt kind of comfortable doing that. So like I get
(34:29):
the other part, but like, how do you get yourself
to actually follow through with those types of things.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
Well, I think one of the first things that you
can do is first be sure that you understand what
it is that the big deal is. So if you
if you haven't been experiencing pleasure on your own or
with your partner, I would say tapping into that and
really taking some time to learn how to experience pleasure
and learn how to give yourself pleasure because for a
(34:59):
lot of peop people.
Speaker 6 (35:00):
They especially women, we won't go.
Speaker 5 (35:04):
After it because we don't really know what that it
is and we don't feel confident that we know what
that is. It's like, you know, I don't get that
sense from erics, so I'm not going to talk to
her right now, but yeah, everyone else, you know, really
trying to figure out what makes you feel your most,
(35:25):
if it's your feminine energy, if it's your masculine energy,
whatever it is, whatever makes you just feel like that release,
that sense of giving, that bonding, the responsibleness, the four
intimacy styles, like all of that. I think once you
know that, you're going to be much more confident saying
hey and let me teach you.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
And let me learn too. I think also too, there's
something to you know, good girls or you know whatever.
You weren't really raised. We're raised with somewhat of a gurgirls,
don't you know, like sex. There's all of these different
things around women feeling comfortable in their own skin and
give yourself permission to just either know your body or
to get to just feel comfortable in an intimate situation.
(36:07):
I think that's half the battle, right, That's half the battle.
Speaker 5 (36:10):
And I also think that it's one of the things
that creates long term relationships. Sure, if you are just
wanting to hook up, you don't really need to care
about what's going on for the other person and you're
just getting through it.
Speaker 6 (36:22):
But if you're wanting to be in a long term relationship, this.
Speaker 5 (36:25):
Is a key factor. Having lasting physical intimacy is a
key factor in doing that, and it's a part of
the investment that goes into long term relationships. And anyone
that tells you otherwise is misguided, right, They're just they're
missing point.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
You know.
Speaker 5 (36:42):
That's I think the last time we spoke, we talked
about my book before Intimacy Styles, and it's all about
helping people to understand how to have long term, lasting
physical intimacy. Because again, if you want to get out
there and date and you want to have you know,
one night stands, and you want to have quickies and
you want to try different things, awesome, all for you,
for you.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
But going into that long term.
Speaker 5 (37:02):
Is where people really struggle because there's this kind of
like disconnect connect, disconnect, connect and trying to figure that out.
As you know, people who've really a lot of people
have really gone into this monogamy mindset. If it's not
easy monogamy a E and having kids and having businesses,
multiple businesses and travel and all of that, it's not
(37:24):
easy to keep that connection. So it's really important that
you look into it and really study that with your partner.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Well, thank you so much for coming on you guys.
She has so much incredible insight and more information that
she would love to give you. Guys. Will you give
our listeners some information just so they can they can
find you?
Speaker 5 (37:47):
Yeah, everything is Doctor Viviana, spell out d O C
T O R V I V I A N A
on all platforms, my website, get my emails.
Speaker 6 (37:55):
I tend to do a lot.
Speaker 5 (37:56):
Of fun stuff in my emails, and of course all
my products on my shop. But I'm so grateful for you, ladies,
and my heart is with you and everyone in LA.
I'm hoping for the best for y'all and just love
y'all and love everything that you're doing things.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
Okay, Eric, and I need to ask you a question.
Don't get mad at me. I'm not How was sex
with Tom.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Very fifties, very nineteen fifties, very very very sweet, very
sort of non adventurous.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Okay, so like it? But were you always on top
or were you always on bottom?
Speaker 2 (38:46):
It switched around? But my point is this, there was
not There's a different it was a different relationship like
that sexual relationship was not something.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
That was at the height of the entire thing, right,
was it at the beginning?
Speaker 2 (39:02):
I think we definitely have more sex at the beginning
than we did at the end, for sure. I mean,
but it was twenty years you know, I mean, you
know he had undergone a lot of changes.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
And what is your like and you can grill me too,
So whatever, But what are your like kinks or fetishes
or like, what's your thing? What's like the one thing
that's going to like really make it happen for you.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
I had a lot of group fantasies group, yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
With involving more than one man, or involving women with
one man more than one man. Have you ever had one?
Speaker 2 (39:46):
No, but you asked me what what you asked me?
Speaker 3 (39:50):
What was going on?
Speaker 2 (39:51):
What's going on in yours?
Speaker 3 (39:54):
So something for me, it's I'm like very like I
don't know what the word be, like tactileic. For me,
there's like it's it's smell, it's voice, it's like.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
No.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
But if you have those things, then I will show
more of myself to you. And I like to be dominated.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
You think to be dominated?
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Yet, Yeah, I think I'm such an alpha and so
many aspects in my life, like I'm not super into
wanting to have like soft, cuddly sex.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Yeah, I hear a little for you.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Yeah, it's a little bit. I mean, there it can be.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
But you never had me I had. Have you ever
had multiple partners at one time?
Speaker 3 (40:52):
I haven't. I've never had a threesome Edwin. Back in
the day, me and Edwin, this is pretty kids and stuff.
We were can considering it, Like we found like there
was somebody we both thought was attractive, that we were
all flirting. We were in Vegas, and then like at
the end of the day we just kind of looked
at each other and I was like, I don't I
think this is going to be a bad idea ultimately.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Yeah, you know, I can say things like what I
said to you about like you know, what is your
fantasy and it means you know, it's multiple people. I
can say that now because I'm single, but that's not
something that I would have considered if I was married
or in a relationship. Because I'm completely and totally single,
I can say things like that, does that feel you
know what I mean? Do you understand where I'm saying? Yeah?
And I think sometimes that when people want to bring
(41:36):
in another party, like either really great things happen or
it can all like blow up.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Well, I think where I'm a little bit. I haven't
found porn that I.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
Like, like really not at all, not any of it.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
No, Like I really good, but like I'm very particular.
I mean, granted, if you look at my history, it
doesn't seem so. But like if I'm watching someone.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Well people, but that's that's a very specific thing because
you're watching it for a specific reason. You're not watching
it to be in a relationship with these people. You're
watching it for an end result. So of course you
can be particular.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
So that's been a little bit tricky for me. But
I think what I've realized now, which I didn't know
that I needed. I think so much of what I
am into, even if it hasn't led to sex, it's
led me to want to. Is the way is somebody
(42:44):
kind of like takes charge and talks to me about
it leading up to it, even though it hasn't happened,
Like and that's that's new to me, that feeling that
like want now.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
But you have a high drive, a low drive, a
medium drive, like are you?
Speaker 3 (43:07):
I mean it was pretty during like my not to
not to be a downer, but during like all my
cancer stuff.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
It was very very low I'm sure, and.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Like beyond low, like couldn't And I mean now that
I'm getting divorced, I haven't. It's not like I've had
you know, It's not like I'm like whoa, let's go.
But no, I'm thinking about it a lot. It's good,
like I I and that wasn't I didn't normally think
(43:37):
of sex like. That wasn't something that was in my
regular thought process.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
No, I feel, you.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
Know, I'm finding myself getting hot and bothered, and I'm like, like,
I'll get a text message or I'll get it and
I'm like, oh my god, did I just feel tingled?
Speaker 2 (43:54):
I like that though for you. Yeah, you're a human being,
that's right, you know, And I can imagine my being
sick and things like that's the last thing in your mind.
But oh my god, we're single.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
We're single. We're single and apparently ready to mingle.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Apparently, how are you doing over there on the hinge?
Speaker 3 (44:16):
On the hinge.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
We're up to photos and prompts. Oh yeah, yeah, she's
shaking her head.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
You're gonna have to put in non negotiables for me.
I put mandles like that, what's what's a what's that?
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Like?
Speaker 3 (44:32):
It was like something that you can't possibly handle. And
I said mandles like you know when men wear sandals.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
Oh, mandles, it's oh sandals, non negotiadle A mandle like
a man sandal Like I not was that your onlyndle
non negotiable?
Speaker 3 (44:55):
That's I think I said mandles and chewing like I've
kind of was just sarcastic and my uh and my things.
I wasn't taking it very seriously. But now that I've
talked to someone that, I was like, Okay, I'm kind
of into you. Now I'm like, one, do I need
to like actually take him more seriously because apparently it
(45:18):
can lead to something? Or do I just leave myself
as being a study.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
I don't trust anybody. How the fuck am I going
to do this? I don't trust anybody. I don't believe
anything anybody says. I'm not gonna do well on this thing.
I'm just not. I just I am too fucking jaded
and just you know, no you have to.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
I mean, well, then don't but like have fun with
it for your Well, yes.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
I'm gonna have fun with but yeah, no, I can
have fun with it. I'm just saying, like I know me,
I'll be like, a that's impossible.
Speaker 3 (45:56):
Well, but also that's all you know, I do that
ship too, Like I'll get compliments or I'll get somebody like,
oh you know you're so second. I'm like, oh, what now, Like,
I can't it's very hard to accept a compliment.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
But no, I can do that all day long.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
So what is like, Okay, what's the craziest place you've
ever had? We filmed this on Beverly Hills and they
never aired it. But where it's the craziest place you've
ever had?
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Seed? I told you in the hospital when I had
a head injury.
Speaker 3 (46:27):
Oh yeah, we both were hospitalized, yes, yeah, yeah, I forgot.
Why did they never air that?
Speaker 2 (46:34):
That was they used to make us say all their
ship and then they never yeah hospital.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Yeah, both of us for hospital.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
That's where hospitalized. Yeah?
Speaker 3 (46:44):
For me, it was you know.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Are you into dating doctors, lawyers, businessmen? What? What's what's
up with the old career?
Speaker 3 (46:55):
I mean, I'm not really into like an I'm a fiver,
I would say, because one, I don't like to do
things late at night. Like I don't want somebody that's
like I'm mortal author shovery single day and I'm there
from seven am till seven pm. And this is just
like No, I want somebody that's their own boss and
(47:16):
coming out like there's a little bit of freedom in
their life because I I mean, look, I regardless like
I can do my job from anywhere. I'm sitting in
this fucking camper right now doing it.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Right now, I'm doing my job in this corporate apartment
in Broadway doing it.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
They Yeah, you see what I'm saying. We have jobs
we can do that. There are certain people that their
professions do not lead to that. Like if you're an accountant,
I think you like, do what accountant things do? I
don't know. I don't I'm not necessarily into an accountant.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. You know.
I think I'll just have to see how it goes.
I just have to see how it goes well.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
The last person and that you were with a month
ago that you haven't told me about, which I'm a
little bit irritated, is that a repeat person? Is that
a repeat person or is this a freshie?
Speaker 2 (48:11):
It's not a new person. Hold no, it's not a
new no. No, but it's not who I No, okay,
not at all. No, no, no, no, no, this is
not a new person I've been seeing. It's not like
four weeks.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Fine, fine, okay, then what's the what's the rule? You
know now that we're new into the swimming of things
like what happens with like condoms and like all of
that stuff, like what goes down here? What what's the sitch?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
I don't really know. I mean I think that you
should have safe sex, like, don't be stupid, but I'm
probably safe sex is you should be paramount, should be
up top.
Speaker 3 (48:58):
But yeah, but what do I tell like should I
just start texting people before you know, we go out
after a couple of times and be like, hey, I'm
allergic to latex. So if you're thinking, are you really
don't remember my eyelashes? I can't have big eyelashes.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
With eyelash eyelash glue and condoms are different latexes.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
No, I can assure you with one hundred percent your
latex condom is a problem for me.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
It has to be text Well, then why don't you
keep your own condoms that you like? And then that
way if you decid because it's going to be your choice.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
I mean, it doesn't that seem a little bit like
this is what I'm doing my Tuesday nights. I'm wrapping
it up and let's go.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Well, nobody has to know. I mean, if you get
down to the moment and it is what it is,
you can just be a girl scout and be like,
I've got my own protections, So how about that? And
it's customer is what I'm.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
Like bright Red even discussing the thought this.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
Yes, but you're not You're going to have to do
this and you're going to have to just accept that
this is where we are in life.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
What is the best way that you have an orgasm?
Speaker 2 (50:13):
What do you mean like penetrast, penetrative? Yeah, I do
it all.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
Are you inner outer? You can do both?
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Do both? I've trained my interesting things, not necessarily.
Speaker 3 (50:29):
Yeah, I feel like we just need to use this
interview as your hinge profile and then any issues.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
Yeah, that'll get all the wrong people. No, but I
think that No, you know, getting to know your body
and something like that, especially when you're like my age,
it's like it's it's a different vibe, you know. Yeah,
I'm pretty comfortable with myself, and I know why I'm more.
Speaker 3 (50:50):
Comfortable with myself now than I was ten years.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
Ago, because you're feel comfortable in your own skin all
the way around. I feel as if you you know,
I don't know, I'm at this place in my life
like it is what it is, due, it is what
it is. Yeah, it just it is what it is.
This is who I am, This is what I have
going on, This is what I do for a living,
this is what I don't do, this is what I've
(51:15):
been through. You know, I can't you know, I'm going
to sugarcoating our shit at this point, I know for whom,
for what? I know?
Speaker 3 (51:25):
Like you're going to figure it out anyway. Can we
talk a little bit about Brookshields. Did you hear about
her interview where she got about her Yeah, accidental vaginal rejuvenation.
You know, I wouldn't mind to get an accidental vaginal rejuvenation.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
What was her story? She went for a procedure and
they did something added, Yeah, like.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
I don't know what the procedure was. Maybe she was paying.
I don't actually fully know the story, but there's clips
everywhere about it. But she was very open about her
sex life and what she was into. And I guess
she went in to get something done. My guess is
something and like, you know, I jump on a trampoline,
I'm gonna pee Like that's right. Yeah, So my guess
(52:11):
is that she went in to get Oh no, I
think what happened was I think she went in to
get the esthetics cleaned up a bit, and then they
went in and like tightened without her. No, He's like,
oh yeah, she elected to go. Oh yeah, that's what
(52:31):
it is. She elected to undergo a labia reduction eight
years after the birth of her youngest daughter, and then
following the procedure, the doctor told her he had thrown
in a bonus rejuvenation. So, I mean, I wonder if
it's a good or bad thing. But so like a
laby reduction, I mean, women either have anys or outis.
(52:53):
We got to be clear, you know, I always talk
about this. I'm obsessed with knowing the ratio because like
I really want to know what the ratio is.
Speaker 2 (53:03):
I'll send your picten.
Speaker 3 (53:05):
But are you one hundred percent close clamshell? You mean yeah,
so you're one hundred percent any Yeah, m hm, that's
so nice for you.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Yeah, that's good. That's good. It's good. Yeah, that's how
I was born.
Speaker 3 (53:24):
Yeah, mine is not Mine isn't like a RBF or RBC.
But it's not an army RBC roast beef curtain. I
did not have that.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
Oh yeah, right, you don't have the meat curtains.
Speaker 3 (53:43):
I don't have a meat curtain. But I'm not one
hundred percent close clamshell.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
I'm a closed clamshell.
Speaker 3 (53:50):
I wonder what is it a genetic thing, because it
has to.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
Be that's just how I think, it's just how you're born.
I think it's just you know, it is what it is.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
Do you have better orgasms with circumcised or uncircumcised penises?
Speaker 2 (54:04):
I prefer circumcised penises, but I that's not saying, uh,
you know, there's a lot of Europeans. I mean they
have a hood on and they're hot, So I really
don't care.
Speaker 3 (54:17):
If I mean we're talking about I mean people have
been married to not using if you're using a condom,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (54:23):
But the majority of the humans in my past sex life,
I had a very hard time having an orgasm with
a circumcised penis.
Speaker 2 (54:34):
Oh I don't.
Speaker 3 (54:36):
Well, I don't know. Now I've got to learn something.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
You've got to learn some things. No, I have no problem, but.
Speaker 3 (54:43):
Like everyone in my family is like that was like,
are you know my my brothers aren't my husband was.
Speaker 2 (54:50):
I remember when my son was born, they asked me
do you want to circumcise them or not? And I
said yes, is that you know.
Speaker 3 (54:56):
I was surprised that Edwin wanted to circumcise Crew because
he's not. And my dad was very like steadfast about
not having my brother circumcised because he's not, and andone
was like, Nope, let's do it. And yeah, so you know,
(55:17):
it is what it is. I don't think it necessarily
makes a difference. Maybe it's just the people not the penis.
Do you think size matters?
Speaker 2 (55:25):
Yes? I do you do? Yeah? Do you think size matters?
Speaker 3 (55:33):
I think if they're like super thin, that's I don't
need it to be like ginormous by.
Speaker 2 (55:40):
Any what I asked, I said.
Speaker 3 (55:43):
If they're thin, yes, it matters. Yeah, the girth matters
more than the length.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
In my opinion, I think it all matters.
Speaker 3 (55:53):
Do you think it all matters? And do you do
you have better ones on top or on bottom or
on reverse cowgirl?
Speaker 2 (56:02):
I don't like reverse cowgirl. I think it hurts sometimes
me too. Why it's not like it's it's flexing down. Yeah,
I don't like. That's not my favorite.
Speaker 3 (56:11):
So but what's your favorite thing?
Speaker 2 (56:13):
Well it kind of depends what mood I mean, so
probably I don't know. I like them both like I
like on top of it on bottom. I mean I
can have can orgasm either way. What about that?
Speaker 6 (56:25):
For me?
Speaker 3 (56:26):
I I will it's hard for me to orgasm on bottom. Oh,
I prefer on top, but there like has to be
a certain method, like I have to be on top
and they have to like almost arch their backs so
that like I know that there's like a muscle or
something that pushes up. Yeah, of course if that doesn't happen,
(56:49):
like but also for me, it's my mind, like if
my mind isn't.
Speaker 2 (56:53):
That's what doctor B just said, yeah, saying like.
Speaker 3 (56:57):
If I I have to like really be in that
or it's all that.
Speaker 2 (57:01):
Are you sober during sex? Do you like to have
a cocktail or what?
Speaker 3 (57:05):
Or I mean I am open to either. I would
say I'm probably more wild after a cocktail because I.
Speaker 2 (57:13):
Oh, yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 3 (57:15):
But no, I mean having orgasms. It doesn't matter if
I've had a cocktail or not had a cocktail. It's
really like my mindset. But no, I'm definitely probably more
vocal and more you know, it's like filming a housewife show.
I'm gonna probably say all all the things, do all.
Speaker 2 (57:34):
The good things, do all the good things.
Speaker 3 (57:37):
Oh, my gosh, but yeah.
Speaker 2 (57:38):
I'm excited for I gotta pick listen, no, I gotta
so the next stages on my hinge over here, we
have to pick the pictures and maybe I'll send you
some and ask you what you think perfect.
Speaker 3 (57:49):
And then maybe the next time we're in person on
the pod, we can go through and select who is
welcome to.
Speaker 2 (57:56):
Get on my hinge anytime, and I will you know what,
let's exchange.
Speaker 3 (58:00):
Oh, that's what we need to do and pick and
do something.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
We'll do it. We'll do it live. We'll exchange phones.
I'll be home in a couple of weeks. We'll exchange phones,
and then we'll just go.
Speaker 3 (58:10):
It's perfect, all right, Well I expect this to be done, Lie,
I'm going to put it on the group chat.
Speaker 2 (58:18):
You we'll do it. We're doing it right now. We're
trying to just get it, get it. You know, I
got to pick some pictures that make me look normal
and that make me look insane.
Speaker 3 (58:26):
Well, you know, then then don't pick one of your
confessional shock.
Speaker 2 (58:30):
I know, I know, I listen, I've already been. I
don't know that we have anything for this. Do we
have normal pictures?
Speaker 3 (58:41):
I said, thinking of some of your looks that you
could put on.
Speaker 2 (58:44):
There and oh no, that's run them right off the pet.
That's if we wanted to date gay men. I know
exactly what to put on my profile. But if we
want these straits to answer, we're not going to be.
Speaker 3 (58:56):
Should we put on that red latex out that you
reamed me out in?
Speaker 2 (59:01):
Yeah, it's real hit. Listen, my text is a king,
you know, I know somebody that's into late text.
Speaker 3 (59:08):
But isn't it hard to get on and off?
Speaker 2 (59:10):
Like? What are you going to do?
Speaker 3 (59:11):
Kind a hole down there?
Speaker 2 (59:13):
That was just the top so and I think you know,
it's just it's just a baby powder inside so that
you just don't stick to it.
Speaker 3 (59:22):
Should Erica knows that I don't. Well, you guys pretty much,
if you've listened to this pod and you had the
opportunity to have sex on one of them, you're probably
going to have more fun with Erica.
Speaker 2 (59:33):
That's not true. Teddy is just trying to make it
out like she's not wild. I happen to know who
she is, which is why we do this pod together
because I know who she is. So there's that.
Speaker 3 (59:44):
I'm sure that we need to probably do another one.
Of these in six months after I've had a little
bit more practice, and then.
Speaker 2 (59:50):
Girl, you're going to outpace me. I'm telling you, nobody's
going to hit me up on this thing.
Speaker 3 (59:54):
Do we keep like a little journal?
Speaker 2 (59:56):
We should we should keep we should keep analytics or
staff ats or whatever they call them. You know how
they always show us, like write a growth chart to
see what our our analytics are, our.
Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
Our strong months.
Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Right, all right, I love you, miss miss you too.
Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
Kicking ass.
Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
Thanks, all right, Bye bye, honey,
Hi, guys, Welcome to another episode of Diamonds in the
Rough with myself, Teddy Mellencamp and.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hi, I'm Erica Jane.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Well, if this doesn't perfectly sum up who we are
at this moment, Erica is on Broadway and filming the
pod from New York and I am in a camper
in Palm Desert, So.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Well, what are you doing there in the camper and
Palm Desert.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
I am here at the camper because we are back
at our first horse show of the year, and so yeah,
and we're trying to you know, cut some coths do
the things. Like it was. It was fine camper life.
Night one was all right, except for the fact that
Slay wanted to be in the primary room and I
(01:05):
just loved on the buck. I was like, I am
having flashbacks of my childhood. My dad's tour bus. That's
a really junkie one.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Not in the John Mellencamp tour bus.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Right.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
You know what, Uh, the horse world is is expensive.
You know, it's an expensive and extensive world to live
in and you know, be successful, and it's not for
the faint of heart. How are you.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
I am? I'm good. You know, it's the crazy thing
about you know, getting divorced and you know, I mean
not that you're divorced, but this the ending of uh,
you know, a relationship is just like the different stages
of how you feel throughout time. Sure, and you know
(01:56):
there's some days that are great and some days are
little bit freakin' dicey, you know very much. So trying
to communicate with somebody that you know was once you know,
I'm a micromanager in general, so like, yeah, that has
always been my thing, like our schedules, organizing things and
(02:19):
having to like take that step back and realize, like, okay,
that's actually no longer your job on the days that
you're not with the kids is I mean, it's it's heartbreaking,
but it's also like, Okay, this is what it feels
like to like go with the flow. I've never I
don't know in my life, I've ever gone with the flow.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Well yeah, and I don't like that either, going with
the flow. But I've surrendered to that moment of just
sort of you know, I don't know what's coming next,
and I can't predict it, and I'm out here on
my own two feet, which is great. Like I'm not
bitching but there are moments where I'm like, oh shit,
you know what is going on? What do you do
on your days if you're not with the kids.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
So I mean I pod every day, so like I'm
always working. And then now I'm it's it sounds crazy,
but like I've gone on a couple of dates.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yes, fucker, I don't even go on dates.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Well, you want to hear the crazy thing.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I'm not trying to get these dates. Wait, how are
you getting these dates?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Well, so this is pretty crazy. So I signed up
for Hinge and I was like, this is a freaking joke,
Like why are only twenty eight year olds reaching out
to me? Like why? And then I realized it's because
I had my age down too low. But I was like, clearly,
I don't need to be dating a twenty eight year old.
I mean, I'm they're hot, but like I don't. I
(03:44):
don't need it. And plus I can't really figure out
Hinge because I'm too old. I don't know what a
rose means versus a heart, Like I don't know. But
there was somebody who messaged me and just was like
complimented one of the photos and it was weird. I
like recognized his face, like I was like I know
(04:05):
him and where well this is the crazy part. So
like I let it sit for like a couple of days.
I was like, no need to respond to the rose
or whatever I got. And then because he didn't say anything,
he just hard like rosed it. So I was like,
maybe I don't know, maybe I'm going crazier, maybe he's
an actor. I don't know what the hell it is.
(04:27):
And then the other day I just messaged and I
was like, by any chance did I meet you in
like nineteen ninety nine? Are you friends with the following people?
And he's like, yes, Teddy, I was wondering if you
were going to remember.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Me nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yes, I was nineteen when I first came out to LA,
but I recognized his face. But I sae and he's
like and then he's like, yes, Teddy, I you know,
I was just waiting to see if you.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Remember so you guys went out, yeah, And well.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
I mean, I don't know. It's more about like the
conversations leading to going out all those But.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I'm not saying that, like you know what I'm just
saying like is it nice to be out and like
having a conversation, you know, like being I don't know,
friendly or something.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Yeah, well he particularly I have not gone out with
yet because talking and having conversation and it's that weird
like who knows. But it's been so long that I'm like,
I don't even know, like do people flirt or like
play games? Like what what happens around you?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
You are looking at the wrong person to I don't
know anything.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
But before we get into your dating sage, how's Broadway?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
There is no dating sage. Broadways fabulous. I got a
standing elevation in my opening night. I standing elevation my
second night. It's great. I'm having fun. You know, there's
such a community here at Chicago, the musical Everybody there's
just really special and nice. And I needed something relaxing
(06:09):
like Broadway, you know, to come and do I love it?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Are any of the same people that were on the
show still Yes, So that's gotten more comforting.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
It is because you get to share the stage with them,
they and they you know, I did it eighty times.
But that was five years ago. So we were hurting,
Oh my god, that was five years ago. Yes, you
were pregnant, getting older?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
We how has that been five years? In my mind,
I was like, that was two years ago.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
By the way. But by the way, these five years
for you and me have been horrible. Not like think
about just think think about, just think about from December
twenty twenty till January twenty twenty five, I mean or January.
I was with January twe I mean, it has been
(07:02):
a rough five years for both of us. Look at
how much our lives have changed, I mean just personal things.
So yeah, but Broadway's great. I'm having a great time.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
And you're there three more weeks, Yeah, February eleven, three
more February eleventh. Well, I'm so excited for you. That
is awesome. We took some listeners feedback, and something that
a lot of the listeners wanted to hear us talk
about is sex. Something that's so interesting. I mean, Erica knows.
(07:37):
Like when I first met Erica, I wouldn't even say
the word orgasm. I would say, oh.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
She was very you were very very conservative.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Like beyond.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
So I little like, come on, you were a little stiff.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yeah, I was very very stiff. So the fact that
we're doing this podcast, I'm talking about sex is definitely
out of my comfort zone, especially because we're doing it
at ten am. I couldn't even have a glass of
Champce to like loosen myself up. I was like, oh shit,
this is going to be.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
A dude, this is going to be hey, but you
know what, sex is an important part of your life,
our lives as women, and you know, life goes on
and I need to be having more.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
When was the last time you had sex?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Maybe a few weeks ago, maybe a month ago. But
I don't really.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Hold on if you haven't mentioned anything to me about
such things.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Because it's not that important. Oh if it was something
that was important, i'd be like, hey, get into this,
but it's nothing to report, so I could say, like
a month ago, yeah, but I have not been focused.
But wait, I want to give myself a little bit
of moment here. I've not been focused because I on that,
(09:04):
because I've been focused on getting this show together, and
that is like all confuting. But now that I'm here
and I've just done it a few times, and you
know what, when I saw Andy for WA's What Happens
Live last week, he was telling me, He's like, Erica,
you have to get on the apps. I was like,
are you sure? He was like yes, I'm telling you
now that you're on, maybe I should get on.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, I mean I'm on Hinge.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
That's what Laya was on and she Ray won't let
me on.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Yeah, they didn't let me on either.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
I think it's a housewives.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Think I'm on Hinge, And I mean it's the other
night we were I went to dinner with Kyle and
we spent you know, forty five minutes going through the
people that have hearted or a rosed me and we
just freaking laughed and like pressed X like no, no, no.
I mean it's it's a lot of no's. It's like
(09:54):
being an actor. You're going to get a lot of no's.
You're gonna have to say a lot of no's before
we get that. Yes, but I.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Think that's a cool thing. I mean, what did you do?
Did you take? What pictures? Did you I don't even know.
Maybe I should download.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
This thing, so yeah, I think you should do it.
I mean my profile, let me let me read it.
I mean I didn't take it very seriously on my
profile because I was like, I'm not I'm not taking
this app very seriously.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Hinge Dating app Match to install Hinge. If you're listening,
send us something.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Yeah, whatever, what do they make us? Yeah, like make us.
Some people are verified Hinge users. I'm not. I don't
know how to become one. I don't know what that means,
but it is me.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
What is my phone number? I'm doing it right now,
go ahead, good.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
But what I have learned is that quickly once you're
on Hinge, they want to transition right out of Hinge.
Like they're like, hey, because you can with Hinge, you respond,
then they respond like there's no like double messaging if
you forgot to say something or you did a typo.
(11:11):
So the couple of people I have spoken to on
hinge immediately or like can I get your phone number?
Or can we talk on Instagram? Because this isn't pain
in the ass? Oh okay, yeah, so it's like it's
not you know whatever, it's slightly Yeah, I just I
got to introduduce to what do you put up pictures
(11:32):
and stuff? Yeah, you have to put up pictures and
then what Hinge does. So I put up like five
pictures a couple I'm like glammed out, and then a
couple like ones of me riding horses, and then ones
of me like no makeup, looking like like here's the range,
like this is this is me. You're either going to
get this, or you're gonna get this yeah, or I'm
(11:55):
going to be riding a horse like this. These are
the options. There's no real middle ground for me. And
then hiinge sees which one of those pictures is liked
the most and then makes that your primary photo.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Okay, I know, Okay, so.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
My primary photos changed a couple of times, but either way,
it's it's been a nice distraction.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
What kind of men are are are messaging you?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Like?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Are they professionals or are they I don't know? Like
what are you getting? Like you say, like your age
range or something or yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
You put your age range. You can see like what
they do, so like they're I mean, I don't really care.
As long as somebody is like passionate about what they're
doing and like has a regular job and whatever, then
I don't really care. I would have to go in
a couple of days to decide that. But uh, I
mean I don't want to date an actor. I don't
(12:56):
want to like, uh, but somebody in entertain I don't mind. Also,
like location, like there's some people that are just locationally
undesirable to me.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Well, this friend of mine said on Riah that he
matched with some guy in Istanbul. I was like, we
live in La, Like what the cook is that? Like?
Why is that? That's not a match at all? What
are we going to know? I like five continents to
go on a date.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
No, I did my mileage range within thirty miles, which
I still think is too far, because you know that
even thirty miles in LA means we're probably going to
like Manhattan Beach, and I ain't going there.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
No, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Manhattan Beach is lovely, but I'm not doing it. But yeah,
so it's interesting and you know, who knows what will
come of it. And but I think on those nights
that I am alone, it's nice to talk to people
that I think it's nice.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
To flirt, right, and it's nice that it's nice to
flirt and get a conversation going or whatever.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Yeah, And I mean I haven't gone on very many dates,
but I've gone on, you know, one from Hinge, one
not from Hinge. And I mean it's weird. You know,
you don't really I don't even know the freaking rules anymore.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Do you feel awkward? Because I would feel really like
a I don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I feel one, there's like that moment of anxiety like
that I said to both the guys that I've gone
out with. Listen, I know this is like because I
don't want to make it like bragging, but I'm like,
just as a heads up, if you're eating dinner with me,
there is a chance that paparazzi is going to take.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
A picture right now and they kind of know that
you who you were before maybe like this, I mean,
do you say that you do like.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
When I say that I'm a podcast host and TV personality.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
And that's pretty much gonna yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
Yeah. So but before I've gone out with the two people,
I just said, as a heads up, I'm not my
reputation isn't the best right now, and pop parazzi are
pretty on me. So if you're not comfortable with a
shot that you that may or may not be taken.
Not that I'm doing anything physical with these people, but
(15:20):
I said, then we should not meet up. And what
we could thought both of them are like I don't
give a fuck, like whatever, but they're not they're not
reality like it's it's a very different and and and
that being said, both of them pictures weren't taken yet.
The other day, I'm at freaking Lakinitta eating with Morgan
(15:43):
and Kyle and our friend Nicole. I look like their
freaking bodyguard wandering around and there's a million pap parazzi
pictures and I'm.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Like that off, I haven't seen those. I've been in
a bubble over here. I need to like take a
look around. Hi.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know, are you
a Charlotte. In nineteen ninety seven, my life was forever
changed when I took on the role of Charlotte Yorke
on a new HBO show called Sex and the City.
As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte navigate relationships
in New York City, the show helped push once unacceptable
conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative
(16:27):
around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them
as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships.
Now I want to connect with you and share untold
stories and all the behind the scenes together with special guests.
What will begin with Sex and the City will evolve
into talks about themes that are still so relevant today.
Are You a Charlotte is a much more than just
(16:49):
rewatching our beloved show. It brings the past and the
present together as we talk with heart, humor, and of
course some optimism. Listen to Are You a Charlotte on
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Okay, so, Erica, if now that we're getting you signed
up for Hene or Lias getting you signed up for
hend right now, what photos are you going to put
on that? Well, then what's going to be your age range?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Well, for the age range, I can understand. That's easy.
It's my age and younger. It's not. You know, I
don't want to date anybody.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
But how young would you go?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Maybe thirty? I mean, because I'm not looking for anything
that's serious. I want to just have fun and meet
different people. I've been married all of my adult life.
I'm really okay not doing something like that, but having
a good time meeting interesting people or having good conversations
or doing fun things. Sure, thirty maybe too young to like,
(17:57):
you know, know, anything, but probably really good. So that's
how I kind of look at it. Yeah, yeah, you know,
I can last a long time. But that's important for me.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
So is it lasting a long time or knowing what
they need to do in that time frame?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Well, I can teach, but I don't want to. But
sometimes there's some savvy thirty year olds. Yeah, m you know,
sometimes there are some savvy thirty year olds. I don't
know that I could do the twenties thing.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Yeah, I mean I don't love that I could be
reaching out to me or like the twenty eight range.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah, i'd do that. I'd be like, I don't think
you'd want I mean, I know what you're after. That's cool,
but I don't know if I'm after that too.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
But also I'm like, I have a jillion children and
I'm available on Tuesdays.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Like, well, maybe I don't know that i'm but they don't.
They don't. Yeah, but that's you know, aren't they're not
available either?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Yeah? So who knows?
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Do you? How do you? Yeah? I think what my
thing is is that what is my name? Oh, it's
already asking me my name? No background checks are conducted,
which was going to be my next question.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, Now what.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Name should I use? My last name? Should I use
my name? What? What? What name did you use?
Speaker 3 (19:24):
I used Teddy Mellencown. I just went with my name,
and but I could easily. It's effortless to tell if
somebody is like a starfucker, like they're trying. Like one
guy's like, so, I'm like, I know, you could just
google me. You saw that it says TV personality and
podcast hosts like, but he's like, so what television shows?
(19:46):
Like every question he's asked was related to what I do,
and I was like, well that's a note for me,
you know, Like I after the third question, I was like,
he's like, so when do you want to meet up?
And I just put I didn't even I was like,
you know what, I don't even need to respond. I
can just X and then he can't write me anymore.
(20:08):
It's so easy, Like it's very clear, Nope, not interested.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
R I k A.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
I think you could do Erica Jane. I guess right, yeah,
I mean it feels right Erica Girardi doesn't. I mean,
then you get into a different level of googling.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
It's all bad either way, it's all bad. You think
you're bad. Your way to sign it, and I'm gonna continue
this way.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yeah right, you're gonna I'm gonna hold you accountable to
this now you're not, yes, I am no. Do you
realize the joy and happiness that Kyle felt the other
day when we were out going through my hinge and
then one of the guys messaged and was like, hey,
(21:00):
can we talk And I was like, I'm with a
bunch of friends, but you're welcome to FaceTime us. And
he did and we were all like crying, laughing, and
he looked like the age of like I could have
birthed him myself.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
I was like, so, what do you like?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
I was like, what what's up? And He's like, snow
to la and you looked hot and I want to
have some fun and like Kyle and I are like
tears are coming out of our eyes. And then he's like,
you know, just saying stuff like you know. In order
(21:40):
to talk to you, I had to get out of
bed and I put some clothes on and I was like, oh,
oh god.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
I can't see Teddy. I'm just too jaded. I'd be like,
you know what, I can't, please don't do this. I
guess when put.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
On a tank top, I was like, this isn't going
to be a Now after this informational face time with Kyle,
and Jen and Christine.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
But well, when when Liah was on Hinge years ago,
she would let me answer for her right, so I
would be Liah. I got us kipped off because I
may or may not have said that were appropriate. I
don't know. I don't think. Yes, I don't know if
my my online career is going to be that great.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Well, no, we're going to make it great. Maybe we
can find Hinge friends. We're going to bring on a
sex therapist and talk to her a little bit, and
then we're going to get in and talk about like
the real shit that this is more about, like hormones,
how it changes as we you know, are you know,
(22:45):
we don't like to say getting older, but as our
bodies change, those types of.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Things, desires change.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Yeah, yeah, okay, So we're going to bring on her.
Name's doctor Viviana Coles. She's dedicated her career to helping
(23:12):
couples and individuals navigate emotional and physical intimacy. Pillow talk. No,
I'm so good at pillow talk.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
I'm the nastiest pillow talker, the nastiest.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Technic, so nasty I can do. Pillow talk to me
is like dainty and like like like I'm not like
I'm fine to be the little spoon and like be
held tight and like really feel it. But like I'm
not like a light caressing type of person.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I can do it, are you? I can do it all?
Speaker 3 (23:51):
A fucking course you can. You know what, just because
you're gonna be on hinge now and you want to
take all my dates, it's a little bit.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I don't think we're going to be in the same pool.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I think we are.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
No, I don't think he liked the same thing.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah, I don't either, But let's bring her on real quick,
pretty high. Hi guy, so he Hi, good to see
you too. So I mean we have like some thoughts
starting questions, but honestly, if there's anything just like sex
(24:28):
related things changing related, how people that don't necessarily know
what they like, what's missing those types of things I
think would be interesting. But yeah, we're here with doctor
Do I call you doctor viv I feel like the
last time we did the pot me.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
Doctor viv doctor Viviana, doctor v whatever you want whatever role.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Okay, all right, so doctor v that tracks for what
this podcast is about, which is sex. What is like
your biggest recommendation for somebody who doesn't necessarily know what
they're missing and their sexual relationship.
Speaker 5 (25:11):
Ultimately, whether you're solo or in a relationship where you
can have partnered experiences. I want everyone's sex drive to
really enhance their life. And for so many of us women,
especially as we're getting a little bit older into our
forties and fifties, we start to feel like, oh my gosh,
I have this freedom with my body, this vulnerability that
(25:31):
I've never experienced before. But sometimes our sex drives plummet.
So I would love to encourage everyone to really tap
into their largest sex organ, the brain. I'm sure you've
heard this before. It's so important to let those sexy
thoughts in, let them stew. If you need help with that,
or if you just need a little bit of like
a shove in the right direction, head over to my
(25:54):
Vivid Fantasy and create your own fantasy.
Speaker 6 (25:57):
So, my vivid fantasy, what is this? Yeah, it's okay,
this is new teddy. You don't know anything about this yet.
Speaker 5 (26:03):
So my Vivid Fantasy is something that I have created.
It is a choose your own sexy adventure.
Speaker 6 (26:12):
For adults, obviously, and you.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
Can fill it out on your own or with a partner.
But preferably on your own, because we want this to
be all about what you want, what you find sexy,
where you want to be to all of that, and
it takes you through what used to be an in
office exercise.
Speaker 6 (26:30):
For me, with my clients, I would take them like,
detail by detail. What do you smell, what do you hear?
What do you see?
Speaker 5 (26:35):
All of that Now I've digitized it, so any moment
of the day or an evening, you can go on
create your own fantasy and it spits out an erotic
story that's all your own. And the process of doing
this has absolutely opened women's minds in general, but men too.
Speaker 6 (26:55):
I have a lot of partners that are doing this
in mind.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I just don't want to ask you this. What do
you find is the biggest thing holding women back from
doing something like this, from having like a fantasy.
Speaker 5 (27:08):
K A lot of women are stuck in this idea
of where where am I supposed to find the time
or the energy?
Speaker 6 (27:16):
And when is it okay to have sexy thoughts?
Speaker 5 (27:19):
Is it only during sex For a lot of women, yes,
that's when they think they should That's the only time
they should be thinking about sex is in the sex act.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
You need to be stroking.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
That organ all day long in order to feel ready
to actually be physical, either with yourself or with someone else.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
Think about the fact that women often take twenty.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Minutes longer than men to reach the same level of
pleasure or even orgasm. If you're waiting until you're in
the moment, imagine how far behind.
Speaker 6 (27:50):
You might feel.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
So and I think that one of the reasons that
men do this pretty well and I think they're ahead
of us, is that they allow sexy thoughts to come
in and they don't immediately go oh my gosh, no,
oh my gosh, no, get away, no, no, this is not
the time, wait what like, you know, and for a
lot of women, I think we just really struggle with that.
So this kind of gives you the the arena. But
(28:12):
even if you're even if you have five.
Speaker 6 (28:15):
Minutes and you're waiting for your uber or just take.
Speaker 5 (28:19):
The time to do this because you can always respond,
you know, you can always go back and actually read it.
But allow those sexy thoughts and ladies, it does wonders
for your sex drive, and it'll get you a little
bit more revved long beyond, you know, long before you
go into anything sexy with someone else. The other thing
that I would tell you is, if you're in a relationship,
(28:41):
you need to have more pillow talk. Now, pillow talk
for me is an underlying sensual current, and that is
the touching, the laughing, the joking, the teasing, all the
things that happen when you're nowhere near a sex act,
but you're just playful in that way. If you can
continue to have that in your relationship, sex won't feel
(29:02):
like you're going from cold to hot from awesome on.
It won't be like this thing that you're jumping in
and out of like so many people say.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Teddy says she doesn't like pillow talk, but I do,
and I think that it's a real skill. And I
think Teddy, like, the more you do it, the more
you're like, you don't think I.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
Know what it until you just kind of explained it.
I didn't really know what pillow talk was. Like, it's
not like.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
You're right, pillow talk is what used to happen when
you were like maybe postcoital.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
And yeah, I don't like that.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
Like it's like, you know, let's talk and share sweet
nothings and talk about what just happened. People don't do
that and and I'm not saying you shouldn't, but thank you.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Okay, let's hear it. What do you talk about, Erica?
Speaker 6 (29:51):
What are you about?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Listen? I will talk to you about what I felt
felt good? What how I like the way you touched me,
or you know, part of your body feels really good
to me, or this was amazing that. Oh yeah, like
I'm really into all of that. I'll give you the
full rundown.
Speaker 6 (30:08):
Okay. And what happens when it's not so great? Do
you also do that? Or is that another time.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
You're just not that when it's not that great, I
won't even get to that. Does that make sense? Like
I only do that with people number one? I feel
really comfortable with number two that I've had a nice
time with. Like that is something that to me is
almost it's going to sound crazy, almost more intimate than
the actual sec that's sex act itself, because if I'm
being vulnerable with you and telling you the things that
(30:37):
I liked and what I want to see more of,
that means I enjoyed myself. I had a good time.
Speaker 5 (30:41):
Yeah, so a lot of people are not giving each
other that feedback. I'm so happy for you that you
do and I think it's it's a great thing. I
often recommend that people give feedback.
Speaker 6 (30:52):
Outside of the sexual experience.
Speaker 5 (30:53):
That way, it doesn't feel like so raw and you're
not so sensitive whether it's good or bad.
Speaker 6 (30:59):
But yes, absolutely do your thing.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
But my pillow talk, and actually I'm writing a book
about it right now, is really trying to help people
to have have the ability to say, you know, I
want you because I show you.
Speaker 6 (31:11):
And it's not just during sex.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Yeah, no, I really like someone, Like I have a long,
like daily communication, like long sort of sensual lead up
to like seeing them, like I'm that's who I am.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
I'm like the seduction. The seduction is all I'll.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Do it just four hours a day, Like that's how
my brain works, and that's what I do. Like, I'm
on it. If I'm in if I like someone and
I'm really in that space, nothing stops me from that.
Speaker 6 (31:40):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
And I'm so new to it, which sounds crazy because
I've been married for agion years, but I'm so new
to being single and kind of exploring this other side
of me because you know, I think, and this isn't
too shade my ex or anything like that, but it
(32:03):
really when you have a bunch of little kids and
you're you know, you're going through the motions. It almost
feels like you know your business partners. You're like, all right,
we're gonna go in, we're gonna do this, we're gonna
handle it, and then here we go. We wrapped it
up and good we we we had sex a couple
times this week, and so we're nailing it well.
Speaker 5 (32:21):
I actually have a quiz that'll help you to figure
out how to do this better, how to have more
pillow talk in both a physical ineverbal way, and it's
pillowtop quiz dot Com and Teddy. I definitely want you
to take it because I think you'll find that you'll
be able to recognize like, oh, going forward, I really
should be more mindful of this or know how this
(32:42):
comes across, or because you're you. What you're describing is
so many people out there where it's like, look, I
love scheduling sex because I'm a busy woman.
Speaker 6 (32:54):
But most people don't want to schedule because they feel like, oh,
it's too much of checking off the box. If you
have pillow talk, if.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
You have more pillow talk in your relationship, it doesn't
feel like you're checking something off. It feels like you're like, oh,
this is this is part of the fabric of what
we've done, and it doesn't feel so random, and it
doesn't feel so pressure.
Speaker 6 (33:12):
You know, so much pressure and forced. Just beware of
these things. So many people I wish I could. I
do a lot of premarital counseling.
Speaker 5 (33:19):
I actually started a program when I first started my
practice back in two thousand and eight because I was like,
oh my gosh, if people just knew these things at
the beginning of their relationships, they might not be coming
in with the at the end of their relationship. So
being aware of this and like being a I guess
a consumer of relationship education, I feel like we don't
(33:39):
do enough of that.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
If you are in a place and I mean I
get the you know, the other things that you've discussed,
but if you're in a place where all of a sudden,
you're want you're feeling this urge, or you're feeling like
these different feelings that you haven't felt before, how do
you give yourself the confidence to like express those feelings
(34:05):
to you know? I think I think so much of
my life, you know, when I was younger and then
kind of throughout different relationships up until getting married, you know,
like sex was like a forbidden thing and like showing
who I was or what I enjoyed, like I never
felt kind of comfortable doing that. So like I get
(34:29):
the other part, but like, how do you get yourself
to actually follow through with those types of things.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
Well, I think one of the first things that you
can do is first be sure that you understand what
it is that the big deal is. So if you
if you haven't been experiencing pleasure on your own or
with your partner, I would say tapping into that and
really taking some time to learn how to experience pleasure
and learn how to give yourself pleasure because for a
(34:59):
lot of peop people.
Speaker 6 (35:00):
They especially women, we won't go.
Speaker 5 (35:04):
After it because we don't really know what that it
is and we don't feel confident that we know what
that is. It's like, you know, I don't get that
sense from erics, so I'm not going to talk to
her right now, but yeah, everyone else, you know, really
trying to figure out what makes you feel your most,
(35:25):
if it's your feminine energy, if it's your masculine energy,
whatever it is, whatever makes you just feel like that release,
that sense of giving, that bonding, the responsibleness, the four
intimacy styles, like all of that. I think once you
know that, you're going to be much more confident saying
hey and let me teach you.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
And let me learn too. I think also too, there's
something to you know, good girls or you know whatever.
You weren't really raised. We're raised with somewhat of a gurgirls,
don't you know, like sex. There's all of these different
things around women feeling comfortable in their own skin and
give yourself permission to just either know your body or
to get to just feel comfortable in an intimate situation.
(36:07):
I think that's half the battle, right, That's half the battle.
Speaker 5 (36:10):
And I also think that it's one of the things
that creates long term relationships. Sure, if you are just
wanting to hook up, you don't really need to care
about what's going on for the other person and you're
just getting through it.
Speaker 6 (36:22):
But if you're wanting to be in a long term relationship, this.
Speaker 5 (36:25):
Is a key factor. Having lasting physical intimacy is a
key factor in doing that, and it's a part of
the investment that goes into long term relationships. And anyone
that tells you otherwise is misguided, right, They're just they're
missing point.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
You know.
Speaker 5 (36:42):
That's I think the last time we spoke, we talked
about my book before Intimacy Styles, and it's all about
helping people to understand how to have long term, lasting
physical intimacy. Because again, if you want to get out
there and date and you want to have you know,
one night stands, and you want to have quickies and
you want to try different things, awesome, all for you,
for you.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
But going into that long term.
Speaker 5 (37:02):
Is where people really struggle because there's this kind of
like disconnect connect, disconnect, connect and trying to figure that out.
As you know, people who've really a lot of people
have really gone into this monogamy mindset. If it's not
easy monogamy a E and having kids and having businesses,
multiple businesses and travel and all of that, it's not
(37:24):
easy to keep that connection. So it's really important that
you look into it and really study that with your partner.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Well, thank you so much for coming on you guys.
She has so much incredible insight and more information that
she would love to give you. Guys. Will you give
our listeners some information just so they can they can
find you?
Speaker 5 (37:47):
Yeah, everything is Doctor Viviana, spell out d O C
T O R V I V I A N A
on all platforms, my website, get my emails.
Speaker 6 (37:55):
I tend to do a lot.
Speaker 5 (37:56):
Of fun stuff in my emails, and of course all
my products on my shop. But I'm so grateful for you, ladies,
and my heart is with you and everyone in LA.
I'm hoping for the best for y'all and just love
y'all and love everything that you're doing things.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
Okay, Eric, and I need to ask you a question.
Don't get mad at me. I'm not How was sex
with Tom.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Very fifties, very nineteen fifties, very very very sweet, very
sort of non adventurous.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Okay, so like it? But were you always on top
or were you always on bottom?
Speaker 2 (38:46):
It switched around? But my point is this, there was
not There's a different it was a different relationship like
that sexual relationship was not something.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
That was at the height of the entire thing, right,
was it at the beginning?
Speaker 2 (39:02):
I think we definitely have more sex at the beginning
than we did at the end, for sure. I mean,
but it was twenty years you know, I mean, you
know he had undergone a lot of changes.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
And what is your like and you can grill me too,
So whatever, But what are your like kinks or fetishes
or like, what's your thing? What's like the one thing
that's going to like really make it happen for you.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
I had a lot of group fantasies group, yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
With involving more than one man, or involving women with
one man more than one man. Have you ever had one?
Speaker 2 (39:46):
No, but you asked me what what you asked me?
Speaker 3 (39:50):
What was going on?
Speaker 2 (39:51):
What's going on in yours?
Speaker 3 (39:54):
So something for me, it's I'm like very like I
don't know what the word be, like tactileic. For me,
there's like it's it's smell, it's voice, it's like.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
No.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
But if you have those things, then I will show
more of myself to you. And I like to be dominated.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
You think to be dominated?
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Yet, Yeah, I think I'm such an alpha and so
many aspects in my life, like I'm not super into
wanting to have like soft, cuddly sex.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Yeah, I hear a little for you.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Yeah, it's a little bit. I mean, there it can be.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
But you never had me I had. Have you ever
had multiple partners at one time?
Speaker 3 (40:52):
I haven't. I've never had a threesome Edwin. Back in
the day, me and Edwin, this is pretty kids and stuff.
We were can considering it, Like we found like there
was somebody we both thought was attractive, that we were
all flirting. We were in Vegas, and then like at
the end of the day we just kind of looked
at each other and I was like, I don't I
think this is going to be a bad idea ultimately.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Yeah, you know, I can say things like what I
said to you about like you know, what is your
fantasy and it means you know, it's multiple people. I
can say that now because I'm single, but that's not
something that I would have considered if I was married
or in a relationship. Because I'm completely and totally single,
I can say things like that, does that feel you
know what I mean? Do you understand where I'm saying? Yeah?
And I think sometimes that when people want to bring
(41:36):
in another party, like either really great things happen or
it can all like blow up.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Well, I think where I'm a little bit. I haven't
found porn that I.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
Like, like really not at all, not any of it.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
No, Like I really good, but like I'm very particular.
I mean, granted, if you look at my history, it
doesn't seem so. But like if I'm watching someone.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Well people, but that's that's a very specific thing because
you're watching it for a specific reason. You're not watching
it to be in a relationship with these people. You're
watching it for an end result. So of course you
can be particular.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
So that's been a little bit tricky for me. But
I think what I've realized now, which I didn't know
that I needed. I think so much of what I
am into, even if it hasn't led to sex, it's
led me to want to. Is the way is somebody
(42:44):
kind of like takes charge and talks to me about
it leading up to it, even though it hasn't happened,
Like and that's that's new to me, that feeling that
like want now.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
But you have a high drive, a low drive, a
medium drive, like are you?
Speaker 3 (43:07):
I mean it was pretty during like my not to
not to be a downer, but during like all my
cancer stuff.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
It was very very low I'm sure, and.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Like beyond low, like couldn't And I mean now that
I'm getting divorced, I haven't. It's not like I've had
you know, It's not like I'm like whoa, let's go.
But no, I'm thinking about it a lot. It's good,
like I I and that wasn't I didn't normally think
(43:37):
of sex like. That wasn't something that was in my
regular thought process.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
No, I feel, you.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
Know, I'm finding myself getting hot and bothered, and I'm like, like,
I'll get a text message or I'll get it and
I'm like, oh my god, did I just feel tingled?
Speaker 2 (43:54):
I like that though for you. Yeah, you're a human being,
that's right, you know, And I can imagine my being
sick and things like that's the last thing in your mind.
But oh my god, we're single.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
We're single. We're single and apparently ready to mingle.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Apparently, how are you doing over there on the hinge?
Speaker 3 (44:16):
On the hinge.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
We're up to photos and prompts. Oh yeah, yeah, she's
shaking her head.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
You're gonna have to put in non negotiables for me.
I put mandles like that, what's what's a what's that?
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Like?
Speaker 3 (44:32):
It was like something that you can't possibly handle. And
I said mandles like you know when men wear sandals.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
Oh, mandles, it's oh sandals, non negotiadle A mandle like
a man sandal Like I not was that your onlyndle
non negotiable?
Speaker 3 (44:55):
That's I think I said mandles and chewing like I've
kind of was just sarcastic and my uh and my things.
I wasn't taking it very seriously. But now that I've
talked to someone that, I was like, Okay, I'm kind
of into you. Now I'm like, one, do I need
to like actually take him more seriously because apparently it
(45:18):
can lead to something? Or do I just leave myself
as being a study.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
I don't trust anybody. How the fuck am I going
to do this? I don't trust anybody. I don't believe
anything anybody says. I'm not gonna do well on this thing.
I'm just not. I just I am too fucking jaded
and just you know, no you have to.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
I mean, well, then don't but like have fun with
it for your Well, yes.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
I'm gonna have fun with but yeah, no, I can
have fun with it. I'm just saying, like I know me,
I'll be like, a that's impossible.
Speaker 3 (45:56):
Well, but also that's all you know, I do that
ship too, Like I'll get compliments or I'll get somebody like,
oh you know you're so second. I'm like, oh, what now, Like,
I can't it's very hard to accept a compliment.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
But no, I can do that all day long.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
So what is like, Okay, what's the craziest place you've
ever had? We filmed this on Beverly Hills and they
never aired it. But where it's the craziest place you've
ever had?
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Seed? I told you in the hospital when I had
a head injury.
Speaker 3 (46:27):
Oh yeah, we both were hospitalized, yes, yeah, yeah, I forgot.
Why did they never air that?
Speaker 2 (46:34):
That was they used to make us say all their
ship and then they never yeah hospital.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Yeah, both of us for hospital.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
That's where hospitalized. Yeah?
Speaker 3 (46:44):
For me, it was you know.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Are you into dating doctors, lawyers, businessmen? What? What's what's
up with the old career?
Speaker 3 (46:55):
I mean, I'm not really into like an I'm a fiver,
I would say, because one, I don't like to do
things late at night. Like I don't want somebody that's
like I'm mortal author shovery single day and I'm there
from seven am till seven pm. And this is just
like No, I want somebody that's their own boss and
(47:16):
coming out like there's a little bit of freedom in
their life because I I mean, look, I regardless like
I can do my job from anywhere. I'm sitting in
this fucking camper right now doing it.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Right now, I'm doing my job in this corporate apartment
in Broadway doing it.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
They Yeah, you see what I'm saying. We have jobs
we can do that. There are certain people that their
professions do not lead to that. Like if you're an accountant,
I think you like, do what accountant things do? I
don't know. I don't I'm not necessarily into an accountant.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. You know.
I think I'll just have to see how it goes.
I just have to see how it goes well.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
The last person and that you were with a month
ago that you haven't told me about, which I'm a
little bit irritated, is that a repeat person? Is that
a repeat person or is this a freshie?
Speaker 2 (48:11):
It's not a new person. Hold no, it's not a
new no. No, but it's not who I No, okay,
not at all. No, no, no, no, no, this is
not a new person I've been seeing. It's not like
four weeks.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Fine, fine, okay, then what's the what's the rule? You
know now that we're new into the swimming of things
like what happens with like condoms and like all of
that stuff, like what goes down here? What what's the sitch?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
I don't really know. I mean I think that you
should have safe sex, like, don't be stupid, but I'm
probably safe sex is you should be paramount, should be
up top.
Speaker 3 (48:58):
But yeah, but what do I tell like should I
just start texting people before you know, we go out
after a couple of times and be like, hey, I'm
allergic to latex. So if you're thinking, are you really
don't remember my eyelashes? I can't have big eyelashes.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
With eyelash eyelash glue and condoms are different latexes.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
No, I can assure you with one hundred percent your
latex condom is a problem for me.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
It has to be text Well, then why don't you
keep your own condoms that you like? And then that
way if you decid because it's going to be your choice.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
I mean, it doesn't that seem a little bit like
this is what I'm doing my Tuesday nights. I'm wrapping
it up and let's go.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Well, nobody has to know. I mean, if you get
down to the moment and it is what it is,
you can just be a girl scout and be like,
I've got my own protections, So how about that? And
it's customer is what I'm.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
Like bright Red even discussing the thought this.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
Yes, but you're not You're going to have to do
this and you're going to have to just accept that
this is where we are in life.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
What is the best way that you have an orgasm?
Speaker 2 (50:13):
What do you mean like penetrast, penetrative? Yeah, I do
it all.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
Are you inner outer? You can do both?
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Do both? I've trained my interesting things, not necessarily.
Speaker 3 (50:29):
Yeah, I feel like we just need to use this
interview as your hinge profile and then any issues.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
Yeah, that'll get all the wrong people. No, but I
think that No, you know, getting to know your body
and something like that, especially when you're like my age,
it's like it's it's a different vibe, you know. Yeah,
I'm pretty comfortable with myself, and I know why I'm more.
Speaker 3 (50:50):
Comfortable with myself now than I was ten years.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
Ago, because you're feel comfortable in your own skin all
the way around. I feel as if you you know,
I don't know, I'm at this place in my life
like it is what it is, due, it is what
it is. Yeah, it just it is what it is.
This is who I am, This is what I have
going on, This is what I do for a living,
this is what I don't do, this is what I've
(51:15):
been through. You know, I can't you know, I'm going
to sugarcoating our shit at this point, I know for whom,
for what? I know?
Speaker 3 (51:25):
Like you're going to figure it out anyway. Can we
talk a little bit about Brookshields. Did you hear about
her interview where she got about her Yeah, accidental vaginal rejuvenation.
You know, I wouldn't mind to get an accidental vaginal rejuvenation.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
What was her story? She went for a procedure and
they did something added, Yeah, like.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
I don't know what the procedure was. Maybe she was paying.
I don't actually fully know the story, but there's clips
everywhere about it. But she was very open about her
sex life and what she was into. And I guess
she went in to get something done. My guess is
something and like, you know, I jump on a trampoline,
I'm gonna pee Like that's right. Yeah, So my guess
(52:11):
is that she went in to get Oh no, I
think what happened was I think she went in to
get the esthetics cleaned up a bit, and then they
went in and like tightened without her. No, He's like,
oh yeah, she elected to go. Oh yeah, that's what
(52:31):
it is. She elected to undergo a labia reduction eight
years after the birth of her youngest daughter, and then
following the procedure, the doctor told her he had thrown
in a bonus rejuvenation. So, I mean, I wonder if
it's a good or bad thing. But so like a
laby reduction, I mean, women either have anys or outis.
(52:53):
We got to be clear, you know, I always talk
about this. I'm obsessed with knowing the ratio because like
I really want to know what the ratio is.
Speaker 2 (53:03):
I'll send your picten.
Speaker 3 (53:05):
But are you one hundred percent close clamshell? You mean yeah,
so you're one hundred percent any Yeah, m hm, that's
so nice for you.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Yeah, that's good. That's good. It's good. Yeah, that's how
I was born.
Speaker 3 (53:24):
Yeah, mine is not Mine isn't like a RBF or RBC.
But it's not an army RBC roast beef curtain. I
did not have that.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
Oh yeah, right, you don't have the meat curtains.
Speaker 3 (53:43):
I don't have a meat curtain. But I'm not one
hundred percent close clamshell.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
I'm a closed clamshell.
Speaker 3 (53:50):
I wonder what is it a genetic thing, because it
has to.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
Be that's just how I think, it's just how you're born.
I think it's just you know, it is what it is.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
Do you have better orgasms with circumcised or uncircumcised penises?
Speaker 2 (54:04):
I prefer circumcised penises, but I that's not saying, uh,
you know, there's a lot of Europeans. I mean they
have a hood on and they're hot, So I really
don't care.
Speaker 3 (54:17):
If I mean we're talking about I mean people have
been married to not using if you're using a condom,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (54:23):
But the majority of the humans in my past sex life,
I had a very hard time having an orgasm with
a circumcised penis.
Speaker 2 (54:34):
Oh I don't.
Speaker 3 (54:36):
Well, I don't know. Now I've got to learn something.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
You've got to learn some things. No, I have no problem, but.
Speaker 3 (54:43):
Like everyone in my family is like that was like,
are you know my my brothers aren't my husband was.
Speaker 2 (54:50):
I remember when my son was born, they asked me
do you want to circumcise them or not? And I
said yes, is that you know.
Speaker 3 (54:56):
I was surprised that Edwin wanted to circumcise Crew because
he's not. And my dad was very like steadfast about
not having my brother circumcised because he's not, and andone
was like, Nope, let's do it. And yeah, so you know,
(55:17):
it is what it is. I don't think it necessarily
makes a difference. Maybe it's just the people not the penis.
Do you think size matters?
Speaker 2 (55:25):
Yes? I do you do? Yeah? Do you think size matters?
Speaker 3 (55:33):
I think if they're like super thin, that's I don't
need it to be like ginormous by.
Speaker 2 (55:40):
Any what I asked, I said.
Speaker 3 (55:43):
If they're thin, yes, it matters. Yeah, the girth matters
more than the length.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
In my opinion, I think it all matters.
Speaker 3 (55:53):
Do you think it all matters? And do you do
you have better ones on top or on bottom or
on reverse cowgirl?
Speaker 2 (56:02):
I don't like reverse cowgirl. I think it hurts sometimes
me too. Why it's not like it's it's flexing down. Yeah,
I don't like. That's not my favorite.
Speaker 3 (56:11):
So but what's your favorite thing?
Speaker 2 (56:13):
Well it kind of depends what mood I mean, so
probably I don't know. I like them both like I
like on top of it on bottom. I mean I
can have can orgasm either way. What about that?
Speaker 6 (56:25):
For me?
Speaker 3 (56:26):
I I will it's hard for me to orgasm on bottom. Oh,
I prefer on top, but there like has to be
a certain method, like I have to be on top
and they have to like almost arch their backs so
that like I know that there's like a muscle or
something that pushes up. Yeah, of course if that doesn't happen,
(56:49):
like but also for me, it's my mind, like if
my mind isn't.
Speaker 2 (56:53):
That's what doctor B just said, yeah, saying like.
Speaker 3 (56:57):
If I I have to like really be in that
or it's all that.
Speaker 2 (57:01):
Are you sober during sex? Do you like to have
a cocktail or what?
Speaker 3 (57:05):
Or I mean I am open to either. I would
say I'm probably more wild after a cocktail because I.
Speaker 2 (57:13):
Oh, yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 3 (57:15):
But no, I mean having orgasms. It doesn't matter if
I've had a cocktail or not had a cocktail. It's
really like my mindset. But no, I'm definitely probably more
vocal and more you know, it's like filming a housewife show.
I'm gonna probably say all all the things, do all.
Speaker 2 (57:34):
The good things, do all the good things.
Speaker 3 (57:37):
Oh, my gosh, but yeah.
Speaker 2 (57:38):
I'm excited for I gotta pick listen, no, I gotta
so the next stages on my hinge over here, we
have to pick the pictures and maybe I'll send you
some and ask you what you think perfect.
Speaker 3 (57:49):
And then maybe the next time we're in person on
the pod, we can go through and select who is
welcome to.
Speaker 2 (57:56):
Get on my hinge anytime, and I will you know what,
let's exchange.
Speaker 3 (58:00):
Oh, that's what we need to do and pick and
do something.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
We'll do it. We'll do it live. We'll exchange phones.
I'll be home in a couple of weeks. We'll exchange phones,
and then we'll just go.
Speaker 3 (58:10):
It's perfect, all right, Well I expect this to be done, Lie,
I'm going to put it on the group chat.
Speaker 2 (58:18):
You we'll do it. We're doing it right now. We're
trying to just get it, get it. You know, I
got to pick some pictures that make me look normal
and that make me look insane.
Speaker 3 (58:26):
Well, you know, then then don't pick one of your
confessional shock.
Speaker 2 (58:30):
I know, I know, I listen, I've already been. I
don't know that we have anything for this. Do we
have normal pictures?
Speaker 3 (58:41):
I said, thinking of some of your looks that you
could put on.
Speaker 2 (58:44):
There and oh no, that's run them right off the pet.
That's if we wanted to date gay men. I know
exactly what to put on my profile. But if we
want these straits to answer, we're not going to be.
Speaker 3 (58:56):
Should we put on that red latex out that you
reamed me out in?
Speaker 2 (59:01):
Yeah, it's real hit. Listen, my text is a king,
you know, I know somebody that's into late text.
Speaker 3 (59:08):
But isn't it hard to get on and off?
Speaker 2 (59:10):
Like? What are you going to do?
Speaker 3 (59:11):
Kind a hole down there?
Speaker 2 (59:13):
That was just the top so and I think you know,
it's just it's just a baby powder inside so that
you just don't stick to it.
Speaker 3 (59:22):
Should Erica knows that I don't. Well, you guys pretty much,
if you've listened to this pod and you had the
opportunity to have sex on one of them, you're probably
going to have more fun with Erica.
Speaker 2 (59:33):
That's not true. Teddy is just trying to make it
out like she's not wild. I happen to know who
she is, which is why we do this pod together
because I know who she is. So there's that.
Speaker 3 (59:44):
I'm sure that we need to probably do another one.
Of these in six months after I've had a little
bit more practice, and then.
Speaker 2 (59:50):
Girl, you're going to outpace me. I'm telling you, nobody's
going to hit me up on this thing.
Speaker 3 (59:54):
Do we keep like a little journal?
Speaker 2 (59:56):
We should we should keep we should keep analytics or
staff ats or whatever they call them. You know how
they always show us, like write a growth chart to
see what our our analytics are, our.
Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
Our strong months.
Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Right, all right, I love you, miss miss you too.
Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
Kicking ass.
Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
Thanks, all right, Bye bye, honey,
Hosts And Creators
Teddi Mellencamp
Tamra Judge
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