Two Ts Presents: Popping Off: The Valley + Vanderpump Villa

Teddi and Emily are recapping The Valley Ep 3 & 4 and Vanderpump Villa Ep 2 &3!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi guys.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
This is Teddy Mellencamp and I'm joined by my friend
Emily Simpson for our new spin off show Popping Off,
where we are digging deep on this season of Banner
Pump Rules. So here we are back another episode of
Popping Off with myself, Teddy Mellencamp and.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Emily Simpson, and we are recapping episode two of the Valley.
Or no, no, it's episode three. It's you know what?

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Wake up, Emily.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
I know, I'm sorry, Episode three of the Valley. This
is why you don't get to do intros. I will
shut up from now on. I will just sit here.
I want you to sit there in front of your
natural blue background. Why sit in front of my fancy
pink one. It's really a lot.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
I feel like I'm really coming around to the Valley,
Like I really like it.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
I like the Valley. There's a lot going on. I
feel like it's really good. I feel like.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
We get to see everybody's crazy, but it's like a
natural crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Like I don't think anybody's crazy is not.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
A scripted crazy, not even scripted, but like this is
just them being who they are, and yeah, they can't
even help themselves. Like there's nothing even performative at this point.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
I feel like we could we could fit right in,
Like we should just buy houses right near them and
just kind of wiggle our way in. I live kind
of near them.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
I don't. I mean, I mean, I need.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
To start showing up at Farmers Marcus with your kids
and stuff and to see what happens.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
I mean, I could, like, I feel, I just don't.
Who would I come in as like good friends with that?
That's going to be the problem even if I'm do
you have Brittany?

Speaker 1 (02:01):
I feel like I love Brittany, but I don't know.
I feel Brittany. You like fair food.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Listen, I like.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
What's it called. What's the cheeseballs called cheeseballs?

Speaker 2 (02:14):
Cheese?

Speaker 1 (02:15):
No, Mama's cheese beer cheese.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Beer cheese.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Is beer cheese. Similar to Queso because I love Queso.
I thought Queso is just cheese cheese. Is Queso is
cheese in Spanish?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
No, but like Queso, dip is like you get velveta
and then you put in rotel and then you put
it in the microwave and it's a little heavenly treat.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
And I feel like, yeah, but I don't know if
it's just called queso because that's like calling like jaso
dip soda.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
It's like oh Mama's beer cheese. It's a similar I
guess according to Google, it's a similar consistency, but the
cheese in this instance is made with beer. I would
be open to trying it. I need to like beer.

(03:11):
I like apple cider beer. I'm not like a logger drinker,
but I could have like I think I could have
a beer, Like if I'm at a sushi restaurant, I
like to have soake and a beer.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, that's it, Well, you know, okay, Okay, Emily, I
think we should take a field trip to Jackson's. I
think we should just show up instead at the bar.
Would you rather go to Jax's or what are the shorts?

Speaker 2 (03:42):
Is? Shorts and Sandy's.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
I'd rather go to Jacks's. Yeah, I mean too, and
that's closer to my house. I find Jax to be
thoroughly entertaining. Who would you rather be married to Jack's
or Jesse? Oh may, I would rather be married to Jacks.
I'd take him all day long for that guy. They're
both so bad. They're both so bad.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
I mean, both options are just terrible. I mean even
going back to like Jesse doing this to the face,
But either way, it starts out Brittany Jackson Sherry. They're
at the Farmer's market again. I don't even remember this,
but Brittany and Jacks go over everything that happened at
their Girls' night slash guys Night. Kristen told the entire

(04:26):
group that Janet accused Michelle of being racist and a Republican.
I would like a word with production as to why
we're getting this fight told in flashbacks, like what I
want to see it in real time? Why is this flashbacks?

Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, I don't know. I got confused about that too.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
I thought maybe I.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Missed something and I try to rewind it. I was like,
did I just miss the whole fight? And now they're
flashing back? And then I realized that that's how they're
showing this fight is just in flashbacks.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
I think they're I mean they're saying. Zach said on
Nick's podcast that there will be a ton of flashbacks
this season. So my guess is these flashbacks are happening
because either there had to be a lot of editing
to not get somebody canceled.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
Probably we're throwing around a lot of accusations, a lot
of political stuff, a lot of heavy things.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
With people that have actually been canceled already. So, like, I,
did you get canceled twice?

Speaker 1 (05:30):
I'm sure I could figure out a way to get
canceled again. But if you got canceled once and then
they let you come back, do you get canceled again?

Speaker 2 (05:37):
Or is there a different word for it?

Speaker 1 (05:40):
I think then you're just done, You're just dead, You're bare,
but you're deleted, deleted. I like deleted, But this part
was a little bit interesting to me. At Jesse and
Michelle's house, Michelle decides to FaceTime Janet and ask about
the whole thing. Janet denies it, and she's pissed that
Kristin would say something like that. Janet thinks the stems

(06:00):
from her putting up a boundary with Kristin a year ago.
Kristin likely doesn't want Alex to tell the guys, especially Luke,
about his side of the breakup either. Kristen isn't the
saint she's painting herself out to be. It seemed like
a reach for me. I like Janet, I don't believe
Janet in this circle. I don't believe Janet either. I

(06:22):
was so frustrated by this whole argument the whole time
because clearly the source of that he said she said
bullshit was Janet. Yet no one's asking Janet or talking
to Janet.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Also, when the flashback shows Janet at the fight and
like they're.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
All talking and I know, I'm like, Janet is eating
this up.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
And then Kristen's like trying. You can tell Kristen's in
a panic state. She's like, I can't go after the
pregnant girl. So she's like, I'm not going to do
this with you right now, Janet. And Janet's like, I
haven't even said up my nursery yet.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
I think, a shit, this is good work.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
I'm not going back to being an assistant because I
just caused all this shit on this show and thank
me later.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
And yes, but not only does she cause all the
shit on the show now a single person is questioning her.
No one, They're all I don't know.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
But also at this point, like Zach, I wish Zach
would have just been like, yeah, we were all talking shit,
we were all saying this.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
But the part that was interesting to me was that.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
This was the first time that Jesse and Michelle were
able to laugh together in over three years and were
attracted to one another.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
Were they well, he was attracted to her. I don't
know if it was a.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
Mutual Well, she said, this is the first time I've
laughed with him in over three years. Yeah, I'm like,
but it was because she felt, in my opinion, it
was because she felt he was complimenting her, not as
a means to like have sex with her at that,
like I think she thinks.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
And he was talking about how she stood up for
herself at the party and like the chair fell over,
like that was a big turn on, and they were like,
it really was the happiest they ever seen. Well, clearly
she just needs to be more aggressive. He likes cheers
thrown and like yelling. Well, what about when.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
He said when we first met, she was in a
trench coat naked, and then I poured hot wax on her.
And then her response in her confessional about how the
situation she goes. I turned down our first date and
the only reason that I hooked up with him again
was because I thought it was going to be a

(08:37):
booty call at the end of a girl's Now, but
now he's a booty call that's lasted blah blah blah
years and I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
Well he said, she said something to the effective He's
the kind of guy I'd never want to be with
and I knew that, so I called him just for
a booty call and it's been the longest booty call of.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
Like my life.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
I'm like, you married this guy knowing that he was
not someone that you would want to spend the rest
of your life with nor appropriate with.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
I mean, I can say that I married my booty call,
and I'm grateful I did. Are you talking about Edwin? Yeah,
we were each other's booty call for quite some time, so, like,
I do think there's room for that, But it takes work.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
Once you get past being each other's booty call.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
You can't solely raise a family and kids and have
businesses and work together and do all these things off
just having good sex. It ain't gonna last. No, because
they don't have sex, especially now, they haven't had sex
since they had is it Isabelle?

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Yeah, what is your take on them having adult conversation
and passing in front of her?

Speaker 2 (09:45):
Well, I would be lying if I never said a
curse word, like I've been in the car before and
somebody's like cut me off, and I've been like shit, yeah,
but I don't have adult conversations about like disputes in
front of my kids. Have I accidentally cursed? Yes, I
would be lying if I was like, oh, no, I've

(10:05):
never it's never clipped out of my mouth. And death
Dove has never repeated anything after me.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
But I'm not talking drama and in front of children, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Like I'm not going to be like so and so
called me a racist and then we were fighting and this,
and I haven't been sexually attracted to you in three years,
Like I'm not saying those things in front of my kid, right,
But I don't know. During all of this, I'm like,
what did we actually sign up for? And how did

(10:36):
you find somebody that's a bigger mess than Jack's? And
how are they friends? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (10:42):
They used some model together or something in New York? Right,
isn't that how they knew each other? Didn't they share
an apartment in New York or something? That's what they said.
I don't know, but Chris, still, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
I need more.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
I need more flashbacks of that time to really I
need some modeling photos from that time period, if someone
could throw those into the episode too.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
And I also need to know, is this modeling like
these are brnent like you're seeing it in a magazine,
or is this like you're the person standing outside of
Abercrombie passing out pamphlets asking people to come in.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Or you're the person standing outside a Matter's store with
a fifty percent offline spinning it.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
But it feels like both Michelle and Janet's reaction to
you said that I'm a racist and a Republican. They
both look like they've had this conversation multiple times and
they're not willing to have it on camera. Am I
wrong on thinking that? Well?

Speaker 1 (11:45):
No, I agree. I feel like there's a lot of
things that were said, and a lot of people said things,
and I think everybody's being so careful about what they're
saying that it doesn't make sense and it's making Kristin
look And I feel badly for Kristen because I think
her only guilt is the fact that she repeated something,
but no one else is fessing up, and no one

(12:07):
else wants to, you know, wants to fess up to anything,
so she just keeps taking hits from everybody, and then
she can't and then she can't even really defend herself.
But like Luke is coming in strong trying to defend her.
He is, But did you see it as confessional? He
has like those round red circles on his cheeks, Like
it looks like like someone put a little bit of

(12:28):
rouge right here. Do you notice that? He could say,
I didn't even notice that.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
But do you think that they're going to make it
those two? No?

Speaker 1 (12:39):
Absolutely not. I mean they want to have a child together.
And the conversation revolves around how he will never live
in La and how she will never leave La.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah, like that's how is that going to work? Well,
then we get to Nia getting ready to leave for
twenty four hours to do a brand dealing, Danny alone
with all the kids. I feel like Nia and Danny
are the strings that hold this like shit show together,

(13:10):
but yet they're not necessarily We're not getting much other
than relatability to them, right, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
Well it's because I mean it's Beaker saying I like Danny.
I think he's very logical. I think he kind of
takes the middle road and just he makes comments that
makes sense, Like he makes sense to me. Nia, I
think she took a left turn somewhere and ended up
in a reality show, and she doesn't know what happened
or where that wrong turn was, but she'd like to

(13:41):
go back and maybe rethink that work in the road,
maybe go right.

Speaker 2 (13:48):
She actually, I think might be that kind of person
that never watched any of the shows prior to signing
up and then is like shit, yeah, like I thought
I could really get through this. Then we get Jack's
at his new bar interviewing potential employees with the three
business partners.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
I actually enjoyed him trying not to look at the
girls boobs. I mean, the only thing Jackson is invested.

Speaker 2 (14:12):
In is.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
He likes you could like see him like not me.
He's like, I'm not gonna look down, not going to
look down.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
Then Brittany and Kristen meet for coffee, and Brittany uses
it's the opportunity to bring up girls night. Brittany says
Janet is really upset with Kristin of all people, Kristen
is upset the blame is being put on her and
she was the only one there. I feel like the
story is it's it is it's taking too long to

(14:52):
get to and I feel like Zach may have all
the secrets hidden under his hair, like one of the trolls.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Listen up, if we just parted a little bit like this,
we would see it like, well, no, what actually happened?

Speaker 2 (15:12):
How'd you feel about the life slash marriage coach at
Michelle and Jesse's house.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
I thought you got right to the point. He's like,
y'all are done. Yeah, He's like, so tell me the
last time that you were attracted to him? Never?

Speaker 2 (15:26):
Okay. She's like, I'm not interested in answering that question.
I was like, this is not looking. It's not good.
Almost is. It's like gonna be how Janet's kid arrives
and there's no nursery, not even one thing set up.
It looks like the baby nursery looks like arian his bedroom.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
So like.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
Going well, but Janet shows him Kristen's Instagram story about
feeling disrespected. She doesn't understand how CHRISTI can feel that way.
When she's thrown everyone under the bus. I feel like
Janet's the bus driver. I feel like Janet is the
bus driver. But I do think no matter who is

(16:09):
wrong or right in any situation, A vague passive aggressive
social media story.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
It is never the answer. No, it's not, because then
you can people can interpret that in any way they
see fit to fill their own narrative, and you're just
gonna get yourself in trouble.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, Like either say exactly what it is that you
want to say or say nothing.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
See, I'm not one of those vague Instagram story kind
of people, are you.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
I think I'm pretty direct, Like I'm like, no, this, uh,
this person pissed me off, or I'll repost something that
bothered me. But I don't know. I'd have to ask
other people. But I'm pretty sure I'm quite direct with
being an asshole me too, Like.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
I don't beat around the bush. I don't put I
don't post like quotes like you know, so everybody can
be like, what's wrong, what happened?

Speaker 2 (16:58):
I'll never post I can't say this. I don't post
quotes in hopes that people are going like every morning
I post a quote, but it has nothing. They're set
like months in advance. It has nothing to do with
my general mindset that day I've got.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
You're posting quotes with no meaning for your followers. That's
that's really what I do. It's who I am.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
But then Michelle and Jesse are planning out their Capri
themed dinner party that we hosted at an eighteen point
five million dollar home. They're listing.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Is it Capri or Capri?

Speaker 2 (17:32):
I've always said Capri, but I think it's Capri Capri Capri.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Is that a sophisticated way to say it? Because it's
a sophisticated party. Yeah, it's very sophisticated, very sophisticated. That's
why we say Capri Capri. I've never been to Capri Capri.
If you're from Ohio and you're not sophisticated, you say Capri.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
Have you got to Capri? And then how are you
going to go to Pasitano? But everyone arrives at this
pre Capri capriy themed dinner party and luc is hoping
for peace. It's not happening, Luke, There's never going to
be peace, Luke, Hello, come on. Kristen apologizes to Michelle

(18:16):
and ask to speak with her later. Michelle doesn't seem
interested at the moment. Now that Michelle's speaking, I like
her a lot more. I do too.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
I didn't know that she had a voice for the
first what is it the first couple episodes, but now
she does good for her Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
I thought she was like Ariel when Ursula stole her
little voice, thing like, but then all of a sudden
she hadn't. I like it. I'm interested in what she
has to say. I think the reason she wasn't talking
is because whatever she has to say is going to
be that she hates her husband.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yeah, so she just chows to take the fifth in
life in general, She's afraid if someone says, how is
your day going, instead of being like great, she'll be
like I hate him, So she just says nothing.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
Janet wasn't at the girls' night, so she doesn't know
exactly what happened. I mean, there's a lot of stuff,
but I think the thing that is lingering on is
that they're completely ignoring the initial accusation that Michelle said,
don't say gay was protecting the children, And I'm confused

(19:23):
why this isn't the.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Crux of the conversation. That's what I didn't understand either,
because I feel like that's where it all started, but
no one went back to that, so.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
I have a hard time understanding exactly what was said
and the timeline and who said what all I know
is Kristen's getting beat up at all she did was
repeat something.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
And also I'm not saying Michelle is anything that she's
being accused of. She's dealt with her own shit. I mean,
she married Jessee, she went for it. Yeah, and she's
getting her punishment, whether whether or not it happened.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Her life is a daily punishment. But I do think
that Jesse did his homework.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
Because bringing up the reason that Kristin was fired from
reality TV, Yeah, I was like he knew what he
was doing. Yeah he did.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
He was like, Jacks move over, Yeah, hold by Persecco,
what is the jacket?

Speaker 2 (20:35):
Hold my Picasso jacket? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (20:38):
And my apall spars.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
Lease.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
I'm about to put this up.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
Kristin. It was nice knowing you, but I'm going to
end this situation, even though I'm the biggest douche lord
on television. Apparently. Either way, then it ends on it
to be continued and we get into The Valley Season one,
episode four. All right, now we are back to talk

(21:11):
about episode four of the Valley. We're back at Michelle
and Jesse's party. Kristen tries to tell Michelle that she
protects her, but everyone makes fun of that statement, which
we know now by seeing the trailer, Kristen knows something
that she hasn't shared yet, which is clearly what she's
alluding to. But I have to say, judging by Zach's

(21:36):
pikachuw face, he may be guilty of.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Sturing the pot heiku chew?

Speaker 2 (21:41):
Is that what you said? I also wonder how Jax
is the one who attempts to be the voice of
reason on this show.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
Well, I also want to know how during this dinner
party that how is Jack's not involved in all of
this drama, Like there is a dinner party with just
things being hurled everywhere back and forth, and none of
it had to do with Jacks or anything he said
or did.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
Because I think that Jacks may not always make the
right choices clearly, but I think he knows that he
was also canceled once and he's not.

Speaker 3 (22:25):
Like, I'm not even He's like, I'm not saying shit.
I am not saying shit on this. I'm gonna let
my boy Jesse do the dirty work.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yep, I am out of.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
It, Like I just.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
He's like, if anyone needs depants, I'm here. I am
that guy, but I'm not getting involved in this.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
If anyone wants to talk about not wanting to have
sex with their wife, I'll chime in.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
But that's really where I stand here.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Then we but also like the transition from like this
kind of drama to then them being with their kids.
It's also hard for me to like process like I'm like,
I'm like Joe trying to process stuff, like I'm like,
what is happening? Because then we were with Cruise a
speech therapist. Yeah, which like kind of that every parent

(23:15):
can relate to that.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
I know, I I that stuff like that makes me
sad because I know, as a parent, if your child
isn't developing as quickly or they're a little different, or
you know, I have twin boys, so I get it.
One is like really great at math, the other one isn't.
I worry about the one that isn't. So I totally understand.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
And you can't help, but like there is always going
to be that portion of like comparison, and especially I
would say for your first child, you're even.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
More aware of hyper aware.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
You're hyper aware, Yeah, like you're hyper aware to anything
because it's your first.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
Then the third one comes along and you're I'm like,
whatever does i'd still it's the bed and have some
her She kisses for dinner.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Fine, Oh you don't want dinner, you want a food
by the foot, Go for it. Eat ten.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
Take him to bed with you. You should keep him
in your room. Oh you want to?

Speaker 2 (24:11):
Oh you want to bring your iPad to your room
to watch it all night? No problem, don't care. I'll
still be in at seven point thirty to wake you
up for school.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
You know what, brushing your teeth is option at all.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
Listen, you brush your teeth in the morning, so you're good. Yeah.
Then Kristin once again texting Michelle saying her secrets are safe.

Speaker 1 (24:32):
What does that mean? I mean, have you ever texted
someone and said your secrets are safe with me? And
then Michelle reads it?

Speaker 2 (24:42):
So I don't know.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
If I actually had a secret, I wouldn't share the
text message.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
I just don't understand the whole secret safe with me thing.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
I think Michelle read it because she clearly knows that
her her secret is not safe with Kristin. Well, clearly not.
But this but that's not the secret. The secret is
still coming. Right, But we've we we as viewers already
know the secret and that's that she hates her husband,
that she's a Republican.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
She's a I is the president.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
I hate Jesse club.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
They're like, yeah, I mean she.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
Just hates him. She hates his gut gut, not just
his one gut, his one gut. Yeah, but they kind
of It's this episode, I feel like, is just more
of the same thing over and over. More.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
It's more of the same conversation going round and around
that we don't know exactly who said what, but clearly
we'll get to a finale with this conversation at some point.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Yeah, I feel like we're going to get through it
and we're going to ruin a marriage soon, so then
we're going to have wrapped right through whatever Janet did
in this game of telephone, which Nia told us, guys,
this is a game of telephone.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
No shit, Nia, Welcome to reality TV.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
Nia.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
I'm not sure where you've been the last four episodes,
but this is what reality TV is built on. But also.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Getting back to the kids stuff, because they all go
that now they're taking the kids to the fair. There's
a lot of fair content here. There is a lot
of I was like, are there are always as many fairs?
I actually like the guys taking the kids to the fairer.
I like that.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
I even like how they film it and slow o,
like they're like walking through the fair with their sunglasses on,
like pushing their strollers. Yeah, it would be cool.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
Felt like a scene from the Hangover. But they actually
have real kids with them, right? But is there something
that biologically interferes with a man's ability to put a
car seat into a car? Kristin and Luke are on
a day conveniently at a place next to Sir. Kristin
thinks her friends feel threatened that she is a hot

(27:01):
thirty two year old boyfriend with a big penis and
a Hi labino.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
And Rosie red cheeks. That's how I would describe Luke Colorado.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
I like that she's into her boyfriend. That's great, that's
great news because it could be the father for children.
But what I am confused about is when Brittany and
Danny are at Kristen and Luke's apartment setting up a
romantic night for the two of them. I thought it
was going to be a proposal. What's happening in there? Well,
I really I don't know if I knawed off or

(27:31):
what happened, But like, it's.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
Just a massage table in roses. But why, I don't know.
Is luc a massage therapist?

Speaker 2 (27:41):
No, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
I couldn't grasp why this was happening. And then and
then I don't know. Something happened with the dog, Jill,
like the big German shepherd. I think she ate some
of the roses, and then shit everywhere is the way.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
That's why?

Speaker 1 (27:56):
Then well that's why. Then Luke couldn't come to the party.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
Because he was cleaning up dog shit. Yeah, they Kristen said,
it's because the dog has diarrhea, and I'm like, probably
because he ate the like massage.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Oil or or all the candles or the massage table
like that.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
Who needs a massage table if no, Like, bring in
a sex chair if you want, But why are you
bringing in a massage table if you're not a massage therapist.
I don't get. I cannot understand. I think it was
solely a reason to show that other people were making
an effort that Brittany had to participate in. When Jacks
refuses to make an effort with Brittany, that's my guest.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
And he stares at other people's boobs and openly talks
about how he's not trying to his wife. When do
you do you think? I don't know, I don't I
think when do we think the last time.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
That Jack's made Britney feel special or sexy or.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
I don't know, I have no idea. It's been a
long time.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yeah. Then they're in the gala, Michelle walks in, I've
never I don't know that I've seen a hotter female
on reality television anytime recently.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
And Jesse looks a hot, freaking mess. He looks like
a jockey.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
Now, a jockey would be a step up, like it
would make it. I don't even understand. And then he's
like he looks at all the other guys and he's like,
this is a real coat, but also dinner jacket. This
is a real dinner jacket. But I didn't really understand
what Danny was talking about either. When he was like,
I don't want to overshadow everybody with my look, I'm like,

(29:39):
you're wearing a black suit.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Was he being facetious?

Speaker 2 (29:45):
I don't think so. I think it's because he chose
to wear a tie.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
But where does one get a jacket like that?

Speaker 2 (29:53):
I don't know. Maybe we should ask Ryan from Orange County,
because I feel like he would have worn it.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Well, I don't know, because I feel like Jesse's jacket
he was expensive. Yeah, So even though it was not
a great look and he reminded me of a jockey,
I still figure it was something bougie and expensive.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
Yeah, I do think it was an expensive coat. Even
though it was a mistake, it was expensive.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
It was an expensive mistake.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
It was like their marriage. Then Michelle tells the story.
We kind of already got through this booty call stuff,
but we get into another conversation where they all decide
to walk outside. Kristin and Michelle and Jesse and Zach.
They have a conversation, conversation. Luke's not there because he's
cleaning up dog shit. I think Kristin may have been

(30:44):
too drunk to have this conversation at this point in time.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yeah, I didn't really understand. Well, first of all, I
didn't understand why Jesse got so heated and had to
go back inside and just you know, bang around inside
by himself.

Speaker 2 (30:55):
He he just went into like, tell production, I need
another skinny mark or approll sprits or whatever it is
that he wanted.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yeah, and he just kind of huffs and puffs around
and then he comes back.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
Out and then they finish it up and then it's
coming up on the valley. Michelle tells everyone she doesn't
poop in front of Jesse, and Nia realizes she may
have high functioning postpartum depression, which if I mean, at
this point, I can't even imagine what she's going through
with so many little kids filming and reality television like that's.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
Twins is a whole nother game. And then she's, yeah,
I've been in that position. Annabelle was two twenty four
months old too when I had twins, so I had
three that were two and under, so I don't even
remember that time period. It was a blur, That's what
I was going to say, Like.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
I I can't really even imagine. And also I want
you to think about where your life was at that
point in time, Like were you living in like an
apartment and like hustling, Like.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
I was living in this big, large house I have
right now, and I wasn't working, but I was not
filming a TV show, So I know what it's like
to film a TV show.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
So if you add the.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
TV show that, I know what that's like. To newborn
twins plus a two year old. I don't know how
she does it, and I think that's why she's not
She's not like a main character. She just doesn't have
the energy for it. She doesn't have main character energy
because she's trying to survive, and I think she will.
I think once she gets through like this.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
I think having a babysitter come for your like small
little children while you go to film and fight feels
very different than like.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
When they're toddlers. Then you feel much more comfortable straight. Yeah,
I mean my children are older now, so I'm fine
with it. Yeah, they're fine. They can understand these kind
of conversations.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
But I do need to know. Do you poop in
front of Shane? No?

Speaker 1 (32:58):
Never, And that's not because of me, that's because of Shane.
He is like he likes a division between anything that
has to do with the bathroom. He doesn't even like
it when I pee with the door open, he gets
really upset and he comes up and he shuts the door.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
But do you have two toilets in your bathroom or
do you go to a different one?

Speaker 1 (33:19):
No, So we have a large main bathroom in the
primary bedroom. And like he has his sink over here
and mine's over here.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
But then there's one.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
Toilet, but it's in closed, like it's in its own room.
It's not just like in the bedroom.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Does ultimately poop on the same toilet that your husband's does?

Speaker 1 (33:37):
It does, but he just doesn't want to know about it.
Hear it, see it, smell it like nothing ever.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
See now I kind of wonder about me and I
don't we talk about it.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
I don't know, do you think it enhances your relationship
or it's detrimental it doesn't.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
We kind of like we kind of just I'll be
like want either one of us will be like it's
not going to be a great morning, I didn't get
to go, or you know, like it's just a part
of our life. But I've always talked about poop.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Always like how detailed are you? Like, man, that was
a big one. You should have seen that one.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
No, No, Like Dove will be like, mom, did you
see it was a banana size? And I'm like, Dove,
that's too much information. But like ever in my entire family,
like my sister or my brothers, that whole portion of
my family will be like are we going to I
gotta go do my favorite thing.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
And that's just like Commo's keyword.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
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pushing me, supporting me, and ultimately completing the race with me.
That is the power of what all in can do
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(35:00):
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(35:22):
com and use code popping off and let's get you
and your goals in check. Let's get into vanderpum Villa
Season one, episode two, recap and three. I had to
get Matt and George to send me pictures of everybody

(35:43):
so that I can remember everyone's name.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
Oh so you have like que cards, I don't. I'm
just gonna I'll just do the best I can Oh,
I'm just gonna I'm just gonna wing it.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
Because I didn't do this first episode pod with you.
I need to know who you think is likable from
this show. Who do I think is well, it depends
on which episode we're at now. Just in general, this
is a blanket statement.

Speaker 1 (36:10):
Well, there's only a few that I actually like stick
out in my mind so far. I mean, I like
Telly a lot. I think she's very likable even when
she's crazy, because she brings it back down and she's reasonable.
And what's the one, the blonde Hannah? I like Hannah.
Hannah's a lot. She's very extra, but I like her.

(36:32):
And I like Priscilla. She's Brazilian.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
I like her.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
She's like the one with the spread eagle one.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
Oh yeah, Well, they have their little like queue cards
and this is what they say. Hannah says, serves the seduction,
Marciano says, delivers the drama.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
Eric, who just saw his police report.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
Manages the chaos. Kelly shakes up trouble, Andre wars on
the charm. Grace airs the dirty laundry. I want to
know how Grace and Emily. Grace and Emily are.

Speaker 1 (37:11):
The housekeepers and Grace is the youngest one, right, and
her dad's a pastor.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
And then she cries about the makeup. Yeah yeah, Priscilla
dishes the dirt. Gabriella, who I like, I think she's likable,
gets the party started. Anthony the chef, who I was
sure was like my age, and then they panned up

(37:35):
his age and he was very young.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
I was like twenty five.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
He turns up the heat and then Caroline stirs the pot,
and then Steven spices up the swore as that's a swore,
a sore as.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
That's another sophisticated word. It's above you know, it's I mean,
I don't know, it's another way to say party.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
I don't even know that we need to fully break
down all of these episodes because there's two first question,
do you like it? I do like it.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
It's still like the Valley better Yeah, I don't know,
Like I feel like it's just the Saint. It's going
to be the same formula every time, but maybe not.

Speaker 2 (38:21):
I don't know. I know, I wonder until other people
start hooking up other than Marciano and Hannah, I wonder
how we're going to move forward, Like just being concerned
on which girls cross their legs and which they don't.
I have to say, I do not think that.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
As a Priscilla. I don't think her legs were spread eagle.
They weren't as she her knees were open, but I
felt like hers were crossed, but her knees were open.
But I feel like the camera, did you see the
camera like they were making sure that they were showing
Marciana like looking down.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
But I don't even know, Like I don't know, but
I mean even at the dinner where when Telly pushed Marciano,
Gabrielle goes into like calm them down, and it's all
about the guests having this nice dinner. It's a lot
of like chaos about movement when ultimately it's three locations.

(39:18):
You're either on the lawn, you're at the bar, or
you're on the gravel. Like it's not brain surgery here.
I'm pretty sure you're going to be in one of
those three spots.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
And how many times has Lisa said don't drink and
they just all drink?

Speaker 2 (39:37):
Well, they all, but also do they not realize they're
being recorded? I really Oh there's the ballroom too, sorry
the ballroom.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
Yeah, there's another location. There are four.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
Which group of couples have you I mean, which group
to enter the villa? Do you like the most? As
in the guests?

Speaker 1 (39:56):
Yeah, well I don't know the first couple that did
this price proposal. I don't really feel like you got
to know them very well. That's the thing I feel like.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
Well, also, I recognized one of the guys who's done
my hair before, which gave me some many flags, Like
I was like, how how organic is this show? Because
you used to be Laura Righetti's assistant and now you're
the guest to Vanderfump Villa.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
Oh was he one of the guests that was with
the couple that was getting engaged? Yesh? Was he her
hair guy? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
I texted Laura and I said, I don't know if
I'm losing my mind or not, but like, is your
old assistant on Vanner Pump Villain. She's like, I haven't
watched it yet.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
But yes, But I was like, looks lack sound.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
But he didn't say.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
Any words, but I was like, it's all fun. Note
when in the next episode where Harlan gets her hair
done for her Butterfly ball and Patrick's doing her hair,
that's who did Gina's hair makeup for our first reunion
Season thirteen of Real Housewives of Orange County. That was

(41:06):
not the air that she got the heat about that
Hobly was, Oh shit, hold on is this Patrick that
did that? Does Lisa's hair well?

Speaker 2 (41:16):
He always uses a bumpet. I love him, but I've
seen that bumpet so many times. He plugs it right
in and ya. I'm like, no, no, I do they
go on these outings. They wear matching outfits. Each day
is a new matching outfit. If I wore that purple

(41:36):
tight like her shirt, the boy that I would be
pitting out would be unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
I like the little cute dresses, though I do too.
I mean waitressy dresses. Those are fun.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
I think that that I mean, I think there's parts
that are really fun. Marciano trying to become Jack's Taylor
is not sitting well with me.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
You think he's trying too hard, Like you think he's
just acting like he's not being himself. He's just trying
to be the number one guy in the group. I
think he's trying to be the number one guy in
the group.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
If he's not.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
And Hannah is really in love with that guy.

Speaker 2 (42:16):
I really want to have a conversation with Hannah and
be like, please explain it to me, like he is
the worst.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
But now, but then she has proven that she is
also the worst, so maybe it makes sense. It could
make sense.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
I want to know. I do love how Lisa like
pops in and then she's like, you know what, I'm
so busy running my other businesses. I have to come
and go. So it's why I have to leave Eric
thunder thunder Underpants.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
Eric Thunderpants will be in charge.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
Well, I think between Eric Thunderpants, who really has no
style with planning or doing anything, and Marciano wanting to
be Jack's but missing insight and even a sense of humor,
it doesn't bode well for him.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
No, well, here's my question about Eric Thunderpants. The entire episode,
this last episode, all he talks about is how he
has to do everyone's job. But what is it that
he's doing that is actually everyone's job? Other than complaining
that he's doing everyone's job? But do you think I
mean agreed? But also do you think he's talking to
himself or he's talking to production. I don't know who

(43:35):
he's talking to, but he says it multiple times.

Speaker 2 (43:39):
And also, do you think that Priscilla regrets that episode
one she wanted to make out with him in the pool.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
I definitely think so. She was, like I called that
one wrong about Night one.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
First impressions can be very wrong, exactly, Lisa, you know,
having the conversations with Kelly and trying to really invest
in the relationships, Like I do like some of it,
but I also am like, I'm trying to remember the
last trip that I went on where I hung out

(44:16):
with like, where all all the people working at the
house or the event or whatever it may be, hung
out with the guest the entire time. It just doesn't happen.

Speaker 1 (44:26):
No, it doesn't happen. But I this is the part
I don't understand is that the formula of this show.
Every time there's new guests that check in, there's like
four guests, and then the staff hangs out with them
the whole time.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
And then I think there's gonna be makeouts with the
guests as my guest, because there's not enough of them
that seem that they could be interesting. I mean, I
feel like the pastor's daughter is going to have a
little bit of an issue because something's gonna happen. Then
there's the other girl that's currently the housekeeper that wants
to take Telly's job, So we're going to deal with that.
There's to be some hierarchy type things, right, But I

(45:06):
don't really know what else we're going to get. I mean,
the only current relationship. I mean, I didn't personally care
that the chef burnt her croissant because she forgot about it.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
Yeah, and I didn't understand why Marciano got so mad
about it and refused to help her take the croissant
out of the oven. Like.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
Also, it wasn't like she didn't have the recipe to
make something. She just forgot something was in the upstairs
staff oven.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
Right, But I did think it was very mature that
he put it in her bed. But also, why is
he so offended by that.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
The amount of times that I've burnt popcorn and everyone
in my house just has to deal with me forgetting
about it.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
Oh, I guess it's because we don't know that because
we all know you're not a chef.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
Oh okay, So, but if I was a chef, if
I accidentally forgot something and made a mistake with something
like heating up a croissant or popping popcorn, you'd be offended.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
No, yeah, not at all me neither. I might put
it in your bed, though, I would do that. I mean,
I'm just gonna be honest.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
Do you think that at the end of this season
we're gonna see Hannah and Marciano together or shit's gonna
get really bad?

Speaker 1 (46:24):
Well, if we see them together, the question is how
long will it last before he screws somebody else?

Speaker 2 (46:30):
Well, we already know and like scenes to come that
he's gonna hook up with a guest. Oh yeah, absolutely,
And why is he the only one that's gonna hook
up with a guest?

Speaker 1 (46:41):
What do you think is gonna happen with Andre? Because
he's really nice? I think he's so sweet he deserves
some nice girl like.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
But he already said Priscilla is not his type. And
then the other chick, the pastor's daughter, she's into him too.
I feel like there's gonna be some.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
I actually I actually cried a little bit when Andre
talked about how he didn't have parents. I actually got
a little teary eyed. I think I missed that part.
What does that say about us? I didn't miss it.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
I cried.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
I know now I'm trying to remember when he went
in Lisa's office because they filled out the guest card yes, yes, yes,
and the guest said they liked Tally and Andre, and
then Tally left and she and he started crying, and
she's like, why are you so upset? And He's like,
because I don't really have like parents to share that with.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
And I felt I felt I felt that, yeah, and
he said like I was.

Speaker 1 (47:40):
I always want like the approval of others.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
In the fact that I was chosen as the first pick, yes,
I did feel emotional about that, but I didn't necessarily
feel emotional about the fact that the relationships on Vanner Frump,
Villa Mate, the Valley relationship seem aspirational.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
Well, there's really no relationships so far other than Marciano
and Hannah, So that's the basis for relationships on this show. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
I mean at the end of the third episode that
we're recapping, Eric is talking to himself again. I wonder
if he's you know, we've talked about it to production,
or is he drinking or is he batshit crazy. I

(48:38):
also want to know, like how this casting process works,
because you have to remember they're all going to like
a remote look, not a remote location, but they're all
going to a location they're not in their setting of
where they live.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
So is this just it seems like there was a
casting call in.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Vegas, right, That's what I was saying. But is Eric
Thunderpants from Vegas?

Speaker 1 (49:02):
He's like from Missouri or something.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
I don't know. But the drama between Eric and Steven
don't care, don't don't We can keep talking about it.
I'm not worried about it, to be honest, I don't
care if the table's on the gravel, the patio, the ballroom,
none of that shit matters to me. But I also

(49:25):
don't like plan parties. You do that well, I don't
so like for me, I'm like.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
Yeah, but I don't see. I don't understand. Why do
you feel like Eric as a house as a manager,
the chateau manager. I feel like the best way to
get respect from your employees is by earning respect, and
I don't think he acts like that. I think he
demands respect, which makes everyone repelled by him.

Speaker 2 (49:52):
I think he's like trying to pretend that he's Matthew
McConaughey and he's not.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
I also wonder if if there is a memo or
something went around that said that they could only button
their shirts up two but not three. Yeah, it's three
buttons up way too much. No, like you have to
see the man cleavage in order.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
To work at Vanner from Villa.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
I feel like that was probably the only criteria. Please
put this shirt on and only button the first two buttons. Okay,
you're hired.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
I also want to know why everybody on this cast
has an aversion to drinking from a glass. Like they're
all drinking from a bottle all the time, whether it's
wine booze, like they're just pouring it into their mouth.
Even the episode one where Priscilla and Thunderpants are like,
you know, having their swim, they're drinking wine from the bottle,

(50:48):
and then the other ones are drinking like the other,
like the bartenders and everybody else. They're taking shots from
the bottle and like, are we.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
What's wrong with cups? I guess because they're not to
be doing it. So if you actually pour in a cup,
that takes longer and.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Then there's a trusted Yeah, I guess that's a good idea.
We'll decide if we're going to keep watching Vanner Pump
Villa so far. I'm I liked it more before I
heard from others how much they disliked it, because I
just am fair weather like that.

Speaker 1 (51:19):
You're just easily persuaded.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
Yeah, I can't help but like that.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
Yeah yeah, So should we continue to recap it or
should we just stick to the Valley and making fun
of Jesse?

Speaker 2 (51:29):
Yeah, I mean the Valley and Vanner Pump rules. Do
we stick with that or do we do we need
to delve in to Vanner pump Villa further, That is
the question. Let us know. Thanks you guys, Thank you