All Episodes

October 16, 2024 36 mins

Welcome to Unbreakable! A mental wealth podcast hosted by Fox NFL Insider Jay Glazer. On today’s episode, Jay welcomes in Molly Fletcher, former Sports Super-Agent, world renowned motivational speaker, and author of #1 National Bestseller Dynamic Drive. Hailed as the “female Jerry Maguire” Molly knows what it takes to help the world’s greatest reach their full potential by unlocking the drive within, enabling you to live a purpose-fueled life with confidence!

 

Follow, rate & review Unbreakable with Jay Glazer here!

https://link.chtbl.com/unbreakablewithjayglazer

 

#fsr

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast
build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.
I'm Jay Glazer, and look, the purpose of this podcast
is so we could build your mental health to lead
you to mental wealth. And we want people to come
on here and inspire us, build us up behind the ribcage,
build us up between the ears, and we really want
to become dynamic.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
I'm ma, haha. What can we get on and help
us become dynamic? I know it.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Molly Fletcher, former sports AGENCYNN, actually called there the female
Jerey maguire, even though I would look at it more
like Jerey McGuire is the male Molly Fletcher. They used
to be a sports agent and is now a motivational speaker.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
It's just come out with their sixth book, Dynamic Drive.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
But we have obviously crossed our career paths quite a bit,
and now you're doing something I love also, which is
inspiring the world.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
So welcome aboard.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Hey, Jay, it is a treat to be with you.
This is super fun.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
I appreciate it, all right.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
So you're an agent for a long time, right, and
you represent a lot of broadcasters. Also, what got you
to sit there and go, Man, these people are driving
me crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
I'm representing, so I'm going to leave that and go
start and inspiring the world. What did you learn from
us that got you go, I'm going to go inspire
the world.

Speaker 4 (01:22):
Well, you know, it's funny, Jay, how things happen in life, right.
And I think if you, if you follow your part
and you work to close a gap in the market,
and you and you truly were to serve people, I
think you unlock things through that sort of curiosity. And
so for me, it started g I was in my
office and all these kids I was recruiting athletes and
coaches and broadcasters, and I'm in my office and all

(01:46):
these kids would call because they wanted to be sports agents.
And this was when I was in my late twenties.
And I would talk to these kids and I would
meet with these kids. And one day, Jay, my boss,
walks by my office and this young kid who was
a sports management major at Georgia or something, and he's like, Oh, man,
who's that kid is. He looks like he's a pitcher
or what. And I was like, oh, he's just a
great young kid. He's trying to get in the sports
space and just trying to help him. And that happens

(02:07):
like two or three times, and my boss comes by
and goes, look, I appreciate you trying to help all
these people, but like, that's not what I'm paying you
to do. Girl. So end of the day, I decided
the things the ways that I was recruiting athletes wasn't
too dissimilar to the way that you find tough jobs
in the world. And so I just authentically started to
write down a formula to help these kids because I

(02:28):
couldn't meet with them.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (02:29):
And then that book did kind of well. And then
and then you know, fast forward and I'm well, was
the name of that book your Dream Job game Plan?
And the truth is Jay right, Like that book was
written before LinkedIn before, but it has a lot of
fundamental nuggets in it. And then and then Jay, I'm
like running around with Ernie Johnson and Doc Rivers and

(02:51):
Smolton Is and all these guys and gals, and I'm like,
these guys are all alike, like they wired this same
right the way we behave. Their ability to navigate change challenges, opportunities,
their view of challenges as really opportunities, their their level
of curiosity, and.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
They're not afraid to change, where a lot of people
are one.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
Hundred percent not at all. I mean not at all.
I speak about one hundred days a year, Jay. And
one of the things that I often tell is a
story about one of my guys, John Smalts, who went
from a starter to a closer, back to a starter,
and it's in the Hall of Fame as one of
the only guys as a starter and closer, and he
stepped into it and so I started to see, man,
these guys are alike. And so then I wrote another

(03:32):
book about that, and and and then, like things in life, right,
I wish I could say that I created this, But
the truth is, I, you know, as a woman of faith,
I do think there was there was something at hand
here beyond me. And sure it really began. This is absolutely.
And so after a few books came out, companies starts saying, hey,

(03:53):
will you come talk about your book? Like you, Jay Wright,
you write a book and people think you, you know,
know a little something. And I did, And it's so
rewarding and fulfilling to inspire people and to share stories
that are different and unique in a way that serves
others and makes their world better. And I think as
we get older in life, we pull back and say,

(04:13):
you know, what do I want my legacy to be?
And at that point it's like, do I want to
say I negotiated a billion in contracts? Two billion? I
want to say that I inspired lots of people to
be a better version of themselves, millions and millions of people.
And so that, at some level is what it was.
It wasn't Jay that I was like, man, I can't
stand these It was very hard. I mean, these guys
and gals were at my wedding, they were there when

(04:35):
my kids were born. Yeah, And so it wasn't them,
it was me, what is your go to?

Speaker 2 (04:40):
I guess what is the most important thing when you're recruiting?

Speaker 3 (04:44):
It comes sign with you. What did you think of
your most powerful.

Speaker 4 (04:47):
Asset relationships with teams, with networks, with manufacturing reps relationships.
And I think the ability to look at an eighteen
year old kid who's coming out in the draft, Jay,
or a broadcaster that's in a local market trying to
get to a bigger network, or you know, a coach
that's at the D three level or two inches over

(05:08):
as an assistant, right, and to be able to say, look,
your needs as a projected top round draft pick are
going to be very different from a five plus years
in the big league guy. You know, your needs as
a projected tour player who's out on a mini tour
or trying to get their card is different than Scottie

(05:28):
Scheffler's need right now. So the ability to stay beside
an athlete or a coach or a broadcaster through their
journey in what is such a unique window of time.
So I wanted to really ladder up those uniquenesses, if
you will, because a lot of agents, you know, I
believe that ten percent of my job was negotiating their deals,
ninety percent was managing their life and on opportunities and

(05:51):
challenges on and off the field. And then of course character, Jay,
I mean you wanted to It's a business that's twenty
four to seven. It never stops. And so I wanted
to look down at my phone when I was playing
Hopscotch with my daughter on a Saturday and not want
to shoot myself but take the call. So you wanted
to work with good people?

Speaker 3 (06:09):
Yeah, I mean look the authenticity also for an agent.
Look for me.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
I signed with my guy Mary Gosfriend in nineteen ninety
seven when I was making ninety four hundred bucks a
year and first ten years of my career eleven years
making four hundred and fifty bucks a year.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
And as I've gotten.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Bigger and grown, gotten bigger and grown, got bigger and grown,
I'm like, this dude was there with me at start,
beer there with me to the end. But he also
still takes my call, listens to me. There's a lot
of agents where have another guy I've worked with where
he does work with me. I haven't talked to him
in four years, and he still represents me in certain
areas I've been talking in four years. So I think
that is the key for anybody out there who is listening.

(06:46):
Don't just talk to your guys when they're the hot hand, right.
You never know when the guy who's making ninety four
hundred bucks a year ends up being a huge disruptor
in the media industry.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Put in the same.

Speaker 4 (06:56):
Effort for all absolutely, And you know, I I think
that's so transferable in life. I mean, I signed Jay.
So many athletes when they were sent down to the
minors when they were rehabbing, when nobody's paying attention to them,
nobody's watching them, nobody's bringing them deals, nobody's taking care
of them and pouring into them because you know, they're
going nuts when they're down in triple A trying to

(07:17):
figure it out. And so I really one of the
things that I believe is when you show up for
people in those moments when other people don't, you change
the opportunity inside of it for both of you, and
you connect in a way that's different than other people.
And to me, that's anchored and truly caring about the
people that you work with or that you want to

(07:37):
work with.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
Yeah. Absolutely. You know, when I was starting off as
a reporter, you always and the giant locker.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
Room is pretty interesting because there's like a pac mentality,
like if Lawrence Taylor's talking on this day, all the
reporters talking to him, and I said, you know what,
all those guys are talking to lt or Strayhann or
Phil Simms, whoever it was at the time, you know,
Rodney Hampton, whoever. I'm going to go talk to the
other fifth two guys, and I'm going to talk to
the ball boy I'm going to talk to the equipment guy.

(08:03):
I'm gonna I'm gonna talk to everybody, and I'm also
going to go at it. Not like I ever need
anything back. I think loyalty is a dying art, and
you know, relationships is a dying art where you got
to go with things where it's not the I'm going
to give to you, so you give to me right.
And there's been guys who am still close friends with
thirty three years later. Never give me a single scoop.

(08:25):
But I've never done anything. But it's these relationships. Now
a lot of them have, But that's what you're talking about.
Those relationships are everything. I think, especially this generation, these
last couple get caught up in the immediacy of things
because it's posted on social media and oh man, this
isn't this isn't working right now. When it's now, it's man,
it's a it's a long, long, long haul.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
Well, I think you have to be relational versus transactional.
And I think we live in a world where it
gets easy, doesn't It gets easy to want to just
move the chains, transact execute and the world is built
on relationships, It's built on reputation and our ability to
keep that front and center and pull back off and
say and that, really, Jay, for me, was a result

(09:07):
sometimes of moving too quickly and missing the difficult questions
that maybe needed to be asked in a contract negotiation
or in recruiting a player. And we have to pull
back out of those moments and have the courage to
ask the tough questions in a way that drives connection.
And that's authentic, as you said, But that's building the
relationship in service of the truth, is aligning on expectations

(09:32):
and the relationship being something that is sustainable, and nothing
is sustainable if it isn't anchored in the right things
for the right reasons. The world's smart today. People are smart.
They can there's a good BS meter out there. Now.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
You know, you're telling people just what they want to hear,
doesn't do it, and that's not going to build your relationship.
I want to ask you. That's something you have something
you would teach your athletes called the alignment audit. So
I want you to teach you to us.

Speaker 4 (09:58):
Well, yeah, Jay, and I mean I have a coming
in out of September called dynamic drive And to me,
you know, one of the fundamental differences I saw with
great athletes and coaches who and broadcasters who sustain success. Right,
it's one thing you and I have seen it all
the time, the athlete or the coach or the that
gets there but doesn't stay there. And to me, that

(10:18):
is the traditional definition of drive, which is this pursuit
of an outcome that's not sustainable. Though, if all you're
focused on is finishing the race, Hall of Fame, Cy Young,
big contract, whatever it is, what do you do after
you achieve that thing? And with the athletes and the
coaches that I have seen have success, and in my

(10:40):
own life, it's this pursuit of better every day that
is a never ending journey. But to your question relatives
to the alignment audit, it has to be anchored in
our purpose and in what matters most to us. And
so in other words, I think what we see with
the athletes that sustain success is a level of clarity

(11:01):
around who and what deserves their energy, who and what
really matters most, and how can they ensure they're giving
those things the kind of energy and focus that they
need to get there and they don't allow the other
things to get them off track. And you know, the
alignment on it to me is to pull back and say,
what are the So let's do it. You want to

(11:21):
do it, man, or do it?

Speaker 3 (11:23):
I'm all right, all right?

Speaker 4 (11:24):
So what are the five most important things in your life?

Speaker 3 (11:28):
Jay?

Speaker 4 (11:29):
I mean not to not to just I mean talk
about it a big question.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
God is a huge faith guy.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
I'm always like I always I would say I need
teams my first teammates God, And throughout my life, whenever
I felt lonely or alone, I was never fully one
hundred percent of logan as that.

Speaker 3 (11:47):
My new wife or I just got married.

Speaker 4 (11:50):
I'm so happy for she.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
Obviously, being of service is huge for me to keep
me in that place of blue, feeling some blue.

Speaker 3 (11:59):
It's it's a normal for me.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
And when I don't, I kind of get in trouble
between my ears a lot. My teams are everything, So
what I mean by that, like, yeah, like my Fox
and about Sunday Crew, my Fight crew, my all my
different little teams that I have that I live for
them like I live for them.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
I live and my team. Those are my relationships.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
My whole NFL team I call it like it's the
whole mixed martial arts team. Like man, I live for
those relationships, and then what else is most important to me?

Speaker 4 (12:32):
Base my service teams we have.

Speaker 3 (12:35):
Right, m hmm, what else is most important?

Speaker 4 (12:39):
What about? Can I throw a suggestion to you? What
about health? Uh?

Speaker 3 (12:44):
Yeah, I'm constantly working on that.

Speaker 4 (12:45):
It's health.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
Health. Yeah, it's important.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
I throw a lot, but I kind of almost look
at it like that's just what I should be doing.
I don't know, it's just it's a delephant anyway, it's
like breathing.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
So like for.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
Already, this morning, I woke up my wife and I
we ran these stairs six am.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
We then worked out the gym.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
After that, I did my cold plunge, we did our
gratitude list, I did my breathwork and my meditation.

Speaker 3 (13:09):
And we got we get a whole. Yeah. So it's
just like my daily routine.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
Yeah, but help.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yeah, obviously it's important to me. I guess the other thing.
I mean, I don't know if it's.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
Like career wise, I don't know if I have a
I guess I always like to. I like to.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
I live to kind of be like the first to
do something, do something new, do something different that hasn't
been done before. So that definitely motivates me also, but yeah,
held certainly, and.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
So to innovate, Yes, got it? Okay, cool?

Speaker 3 (13:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, Like I was the first minute breaking news guy
in a country with me and two other guys when
the Internet came out. I was the first mixed martial
arts host in America of a studio shows, first got
to start a mixed martial arts program for pro athletes
in this country. I thought it was the first Gotta
fight in the NFL, ever, but I wasn't. It was
Bob Sapp. I just found that out yesterday. But I

(14:01):
like to do a lot of those. Yeah, first, there
are a lot of things that just haven't been done before.

Speaker 3 (14:05):
That kind of gets me.

Speaker 4 (14:06):
Ye, they'll be the first.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
Yeah, there's things that haven't been done, like yeah, that
aren't normal.

Speaker 4 (14:11):
Okay, So let's go through these. So for faith on
a scale of one to ten, how important is that
to you? So faith wife service teams? And to be
the first on a scale of one to ten, how.

Speaker 3 (14:23):
Faith in and my wife are ten and ten?

Speaker 4 (14:26):
Okay? What about service team?

Speaker 3 (14:29):
So I mean I would think most of these would
be ten, would they?

Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (14:33):
Right? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (14:34):
I mean if I have to rank them, then I
would say, are they supposed.

Speaker 4 (14:38):
To be ranked. Well, I would just say, I mean, like,
for example, is to be first an eight eight and
a half nine or is it?

Speaker 3 (14:46):
Yes, not as important as the other ones. It drives me.
So we're talking about dynamic drive. It drives me.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
I'll tell you the other thing that is actually really
important to me now is learning to exhale, learning to
enjoy what I've already done. That's a huge thing for
that sound I'm really that's and that's probably you're talking
about health. That's mental health. That's really really really important.
I mean I probably jump that jumped the being first
thing and put that in there.

Speaker 4 (15:14):
And so that to enjoy all of the work that
you're doing. Yeah, right, And it's interesting. I mean Jay,
by the way, like there is a whole we did
a study in dynamic drive that we included, but there
is a whole dopamine effect relative to effort, and so
what you just identified as something that's remarkably important in
the pursuit of dynamic drive, in the pursuit of getting

(15:34):
better every day. So anyway, that's interesting, that that's important
and it's wonderful than it is because it's part of
what keeps us motivated.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
So part of my motivation was I used to beat
up on myself so much and just took so much
out of me.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
So that's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
It's so important for me now to start exhaling and
enjoying what I've already done. And so I have always
bragged about my scars. I never really bragged about my successes,
and now trying to learn how to.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
Be proud of the success is not saying it wasn't
good enough.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
It wasn't yeah, but I hate the yeah but and
yeah but I didn't do this, so yeah, but I
didn't do that.

Speaker 3 (16:07):
So I've really been putting.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
So much effort in this last two years and learning
how to exhale.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
So I'm just you know that that that pursuit and
that drive that you.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
Talked about of just NonStop, NonStop, NonStop, it drives us
in the ground. So you have to you have to
train yourself to be able to enjoy it. So not
so it's it's very important. So I would say the
first two tens uh service.

Speaker 4 (16:32):
And they can all be tense, Jay if they are,
that's cool. I mean you're a hard charge and get
after perfect. So how much time, attention and energy. Do
you give those five things in your life on a
scale of one to ten? Like what what would what
would you say if just think about the last month

(16:52):
or yeah, a couple of weeks.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
So I pray, I pray. I'm always talking to God.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
So i'd say, throughout the day, I get up, we
said as the morning President, but I also talk to
God like my best friend, not like God, can you
make this happen?

Speaker 3 (17:05):
Or like just talk like a.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
Best friend, and like what do you want from friends?
Just someone who listens, someone who doesn't allow you to
be alone? Right, So there's a lot of it's throughout
the day.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
So what would that be?

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Would I But they're like two minutes here, three minutes there.

Speaker 4 (17:20):
Right, Well, I would just say a high level, like
on a scale of one to ten, give me like
a mole. On on faith, I'm probably about it in eight.
Lately on service I'm at about a six. Lately i'm
at a ten.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
Arlier liken say faith eight, my wife ten, h service
five five, like teams seven and.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
Learning how to excel by nine probably a nine.

Speaker 4 (17:49):
Good job, man, that's awesome. And so now what I
want to do is just calculate the difference so this
is what this alignment often helps us do. So with faith,
you've got a two gap because you had a ten
and it's in an eight, right, your wife, you're nailing
it right, No pun intended. I couldn't stop myself. Sorry,
I mean sorry, counts yep, ye okay. So and service

(18:14):
you said you're at a five. So we got a
five gap there.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
Yeah, we do. And that's one of the things.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
I beat up myself a lot that I don't do enough, okay,
And even when I am doing a lot, I'm.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
Probably still beat up with myself.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
But yeah, because you know, it's funny when I first
started three different charities and now when I came out
the Mental Health Everything to help you with mental health,
wrote my book, I've been trying to start a charity
for it to find a void, and I have me
able to find one.

Speaker 3 (18:38):
So it's kind of been driving me crazy that I
want to find that next charity.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
Like I started a military and a charity for military
vets and pro athletes called MVP, and I've handed that
off to that whole crew.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
I did one for little kids who were fighting for
the lives. I handed that off. So you can get
we're on I did one earlier.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
In New York City trying to find almost guys jobs.
So I'm kind of ready for my next big one.
I'm still obviously involved with my previous ones, very involved,
but I'm just trying to find that next one. So
it's given me crazy that I haven't been able to
find yet. So that's why I say it.

Speaker 4 (19:12):
Five yeah, yeah, which is so wonderful obviously, and teams
you said six, so we've got a four gap there.
And then relative to just enjoying the journey if you will,
you said you're at about a.

Speaker 3 (19:27):
Nine nine yet and every day I'm trying to learn
how to enjoy it, guess sure.

Speaker 4 (19:32):
So what I encourage people to do with this audit
right is to pull back and say, Okay, what are
those things that are most important? Rank them relatives they
amount of time and attention and energy, and then sort
of rank them again on the amount of time and
attention you're giving. Those things that you got clear in
fact matter most. And so you know, if you and
I were working together, let's say on something to this effect,
I'd say, okay, wow, you know we got a little bit.

(19:53):
We got a two gap on faith? What could be
the opportunity to make some adjustments there physically, mentally, emotionally,
relationally with faith. And then you know, when we think
about service, there's a big gap there. And you sort
of chatted about it, right, So what is the opportunity
there relative to prioritizing what clearly is really important but

(20:16):
it has a gap for you? Now, what would be
the behaviors that the things mentally physically that you could
go do relative to that?

Speaker 2 (20:25):
So you know what I could probably I was supposed
to have a bunch of zooms, okay with some members
of my team to brainstorm about our next charity that
we want to start, and I just haven't done it.

Speaker 3 (20:37):
So maybe I got to take the lead on that. Yep,
it's good.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
I like it.

Speaker 4 (20:40):
Yeah, good, And so that would be yes, exactly, that's awesome.
And then I would just challenge you to consider more like,
is there something else? Is that the primary thing? What's
the one next right step to take to make that
the priority that in fact you already know is a
huge priority for you. And then is there something I mean,
your you know, you and I and so many of

(21:01):
the people that listen to your podcast, they want tens
to match tens right, Like, we're not happy when we
got a ten and a five and a ten and
a six. I mean we want to close that gap.
And so at the most fundamental level, the intention here
is to say, how do I then begin to take
the next right step and closing a gap? And this
is in part today because part of the reason I

(21:22):
wrote Dynamic Drive is it breaks my heart when I
see people hammering so hard in life and then they
get maybe too later in their life, the end of
their life, and you ask them what are you chasing? Like?
What was it all for?

Speaker 3 (21:40):
Right?

Speaker 4 (21:41):
And unless you're clearly aligning your daily behaviors and your
pursuit and your energy with what matters most to you,
the world and everybody else will prioritize everything for you
if you don't do it yourself. And unfortunately we live
in a world it's moving quickly, and if we don't
get intentional, we miss things and then we live with regret.

(22:01):
And that was part of the intention here, is people
go after things in life. And I think the difference
with Dynamic Drive is we have to have this threat
of purpose through it. We have to have our values
through it, right, because otherwise we're our ladders, leaning up
against this nebulous wall that isn't taking us where we

(22:22):
really want to go, because you and.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
I both know, yes, but it's not for the purpose
that we want to.

Speaker 4 (22:28):
And you know, achievement, you know, it makes you feel
good for a couple hours a day, you know, the
big contract, the fancy car, the new house. It's fine
for a hot second, but it is not something that's sustainable.
And I've just seen too many people chase achievement. Be

(22:52):
at the top of the mountain, go well, this is
a bus kill. And that is, in fact, really why
I feel there needs to be a new definition of drive,
which is, to me, dynamic drive, which is laced with purpose.
It still has a tremendous amount of urgency. It's goal
centered and you achieve a ton, but that isn't the focus.
The focus is the pursuit of better.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
I know in this book and we talk about drive,
your new definition drive, you have seven keys to unlocking
the dynamic drive.

Speaker 4 (23:18):
You take us through those absolutely. I mean, and you
know when we think about unlocking dynamic drive, I mean
the anticipit this, the anticip this geez, I can't say
that word.

Speaker 3 (23:30):
Yeah, I got it.

Speaker 4 (23:31):
The opposite. I'm gonna go with that. The opposite of
it is complacency. And to me, people can drift into
complacency unintentionally often and they find themselves in this place
where they feel stuck. And dynamic drive keeps complacency keeps
burnout at bay because it doesn't it can't take root
in us because we're constantly pursuing a better version of

(23:54):
ourselves every single day, so there's no space for it.
So there's three stages. It's it's first we have to
do in gauge with our mindset and with energy, getting
clear on that obstacles or opportunities that change creates chances,
that curiosity can create, choices and who and what we
give our energy to a little of that alignment stuff

(24:15):
that we just touched on. And then we have to
sustain our drive, which is anchored in things like discipline. Curiosity,
resilience are imperative to our ability to sustain dynamic drive
because we know that when we push ourselves jay it
means we're going to have to do things that maybe
we don't want to do right now, but it's taking

(24:36):
us to where we want most. Right We're going to
have to be curious about things that maybe we could
do better like we just did, for example, and curious
about the outside world. And I saw that with great coaches.
I mean they win a national championship and their next
day they're on the phone recruiting a kid, right, I
mean Scotti Schefler went to the Masters and he's in

(24:57):
the next tournament the following week. I mean they want
to get better and they're curious about the behaviors that
will take them there. And then we know when we
push ourselves it isn't always going to work right, and
that's okay. Failures feedback, no, is just feedback. So we
have to build our resilience muscle in the sustaining phase,
and then we have to maximize our dynamic drive, which
we do through relationships and through connection, and confidence is built.

(25:23):
As we get through these stages of dynamic drive, we
inherently establish a level of confidence that exudes possibility and
choices candidly for us in our life. So those are
just I mean super high level, the sort of the
three stages. And the truth is jay because it's dynamic,

(25:44):
and because we live a life that's dynamic, and we
live in a world that's dynamic and ever changing. It's
not an A to B, B two C C to
D process. Right Like, there's going to be days where
I mean you might pull back and say, you know,
relative to my gap and service, I have the right
mindset around it. I'm not probably putting the energy toward it.
I'm definitely curious about what's possible. I probably though, am

(26:07):
lacking a little discipline because I've got to take the
next right step relative to that. I'm confident that I
can make an impact. I need other people. So if
I was to look at your gap relative to service,
I'd say, we got you know, we got a little
energy gap, we got a little discipline gap. Right, We've
got a connection gap because we're going to need help.
You're confident about it. You're there. So, in other words,
dynamic drive isn't this straight linear process. We can loop

(26:30):
back in and grab stages of it to re unlock
us on our journey to closing a gap that matters
to us.

Speaker 3 (26:37):
I love that. I love that.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
I'm definitely gonna take it hard. Actually call my guy
today about it because it's something that that gnaws at me.
I'm okay, and we've all talked about and then we've
all we've all thrown ideas and they haven't been anything
that's so different. Or I want mine to make an
impact where you're like, wow, this is so simple, it's
brilliant and people immediately and that's my currency.

Speaker 3 (27:00):
When I'm able to use.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
With God blessed me with to help out the rest
of the world, that's when I feel like everything's right
in my world and the room makes my head talk
nicely to each other.

Speaker 4 (27:11):
Their roommates in your head. That's so good.

Speaker 2 (27:13):
This has been great. I really I've enjoyed this. I
got a couple more for you. We talked about dynamic drive, Well,
what drives you?

Speaker 4 (27:21):
My purpose statement is to inspire, lead, and connect with
courage and optimism, and so what that means is not
too dissimilar to you, Jay. I mean, I'm inspired to
make an impact. I'm inspired to whether it's the checkout
counter lady at the grocery store, the mailman, a person
I walk by, the people and the teams that I lead.

(27:41):
I believe that we have an opportunity every day to
make an impact on others, and that our ability to
do that is in fact, really our purpose. I think
most of our purpose isn't about us and what we
can achieve, and that's why I think this book is
so important, but rather about the impact that our pursuit

(28:02):
of better every day can have on other people's lives,
so that they too can live into the legacy that
they want to leave, so that they can live into
their purpose, so that they have You know, I always say,
who do you want at your ninetieth birthday party? Man? Like,
we have to behave in a way that ladders up
to that. And so what drives me is making other

(28:23):
people's lives better. And of course you know, for me, Jay,
that starts with my husband of twenty five years, my
three daughters that I had in twelve months. You have twins, right,
we have twins. We have twins identical, they're fraternal. They're fraternal,
So I twin.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
It's hilarious, you did.

Speaker 4 (28:40):
Oh yeah, my life, good man.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
My life is hilarious.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
Actually, just today I posted something because her sister showed up.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
And this happens all the time. They don't talk about it.
She showed up in the exact same outfit of my wife,
exact without without talking. It happened for us eight times
a month, like to that hilarious.

Speaker 4 (28:57):
Yeah, that's so good. Yeah, so you know, and so
our twins are fraternal and then we had one and
then twelve months later I had twins. So you know,
my purpose starts there with my family and then my
extended family of family and my team that I work with,
and my ability to make an impact through what I
feel super blessed to have been given, which was this
journey in the sports space. I was a deep you know,

(29:19):
I played tennis at Michigan State and then was able
to extend that into the sports space as an agent
and now in the world that I'm in. So you know,
if I can I speak about one hundred days a year,
Jay and my podcast which you've been on, which was awesome,
if we can leave people with a NuGet or two
something that they can pull back and say, you know what,
where and for me with this book where am I

(29:41):
playing small? And my life? Right? Where am I playing
small in my life? And then saying what's at risk
to make a change, what's at risk to make a change,
and what's at risk if I don't make a change?

Speaker 3 (29:53):
Love it?

Speaker 4 (29:53):
And am I willing to take that risk?

Speaker 3 (29:55):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
What's the risk of making a change. What's the risk
if I don't make the change? Folks, If there's anything
you're getting from this today, make sure you get that.
I love that, really love that. Last two questions. You've
been around sports for a long time. What's your best moment?
I know, min I've been asked it a few times
of just being around it, like, oh my god, this
most unbelievable thing I've ever seen or been. What is

(30:18):
that moment for you? You've been around sports, it takes
the kick wow, I.

Speaker 4 (30:23):
Mean Jay like you, I've been really blessed. I think, boy,
oh boy, that's such a good one. I would say
it was when I was on the range at the
Masters with one of my players who was warming up,
and I looked over and I saw Butch Harmon, who
I didn't know, but he was behind Tiger's bag at
the time. And you know, when you're standing with Butch
Harmon behind Tiger's bag having a conversation about a lot

(30:45):
of the things that are in this book, resilience all
these things because Tiger was good and man, I mean
those those kinds of moments walking inside the ropes with
players in practice rounds where you're watching the way they
play the goal of course, the way they prepare, the
way they anticipate those are you know. And then and

(31:06):
then the moments you know, with with Smoltzy calling me
on the way to the yard, or in knowing the
amount of things that are happening in his life that
could be remarkably distracting to most people, and then he
steps out on the mound that night and throws seven
scoreless And you're like, bro, if everybody knew what you
had going on and you just did that, But the

(31:27):
truth is, like you, I mean, it was a guy
that we had. He needed eleven more days in the
big leagues to get his pension for the rest of
his life, and we got the Marlins to put him
on a roster for eleven days and he got his
pension forever. So it is never about anything other than learning,
making an impact and changing, be it myself or the

(31:49):
people that I worked with through the moments where you
just learn and listen as much as I represented my
athletes and coaches and boy, you know, you're you have
a front row seat to people performance. I mean, it's
a court side seat, man, It's it's sauceome.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yeah, my tour obviously Jimmy Johnson getting told on our
era that he's going in the Hall of Fame. But
we did the Super Bowl one year, Falcons Patriots, and
to be standing next to Howie Long the Patriots come
back and win. To see how his reaction that his
son won the Super Bowl, that's my moment of it

(32:25):
was fun. And how he is my brother, how he
is who I've learned how to be a dad from.
Howie and I are both fucked up in the same
way as you know, we got this beast we try
and keep in the box. Howie was the guy who
would realize on the mornings where the sky was falling
for me and I was just man, my between my
ears was caving in before I ever came out, you know,
told the world got my depression anxiety. He was the

(32:48):
one who recognized it, and I think beasts recognized peace.
And he was like, hey, the sky's not falling today. Hate,
nobody's against you. The world doesn't hate you, the universe
isn't against you.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
No, Like I would go.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
Down these rap holes years before I ever said anything,
So he recognized before. So to see my brother have
that kind of joy was oh fuck. It was everything,
all right, last question for it. That's cool, man, Give
me your own breakable moment, the moment that should have
broken you could have and didn't, and as a result,
you came through the other side of that.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
Tunnel stronger, forever, more dynamic, forever. There you go.

Speaker 4 (33:21):
You know, Jay, this is something I don't talk about
a lot, but it was. My daughter was My twins
were six and our oldest daughter was seven, and we
were at a Big league baseball game. And it was
the bottom of the sixth inning and a line drive
hit my six year old daughter in the head.

Speaker 3 (33:40):
Whoa.

Speaker 4 (33:41):
And we were right behind the visitor dug out and
you know my players. I had a player on both
clubs coming in and tipping their hat to my girls.
I mean, we were having a big time six inning.
Man one hundred and ten mile plus follow the ball.
You couldn't even I mean chip er set or one
of the I couldn't have made the play. And uh
it hit her in the front right side of her head,

(34:02):
six years old, and I could it was. We didn't
even see it coming. My husband was there and rushed
her to the hospital, you know, depressed skull phone fragment
all throughout her brain emergency brain surgery, and the doc
came in and said, look, this isn't good. I mean,
you can't get hit.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
He was.

Speaker 4 (34:20):
She was in surgery for six hours. At six am,
she comes out gauze all around her head, her head
shaved because they had and uh, man, I mean you
you know the love you have for your kids. I mean, man,
I'm telling you, I am so into as any parent
listening knows. And it was the scariest moment of my

(34:40):
life by far, and my husband's and and you know,
one day after another, the doc would come in and say, look,
it's gonna swell. Guys, I mean she's going to be
it's not good. And every day right like, and I'd
kept standing outside the dock at the door, and a
dock would come in and I'm like, I don't think
it's swollen, and he's like, oh, you know. And it

(35:01):
was so scary, and I you know, it doesn't fall
short on me that the sports agent's daughter gets hit
in the head with a baseball at it at a
baseball game. And but she's recovered remarkably and as a
young woman who is thriving in the world. But it's

(35:21):
it's like these moments that happen in our lives that
make us pull back and question and ask ourselves the
tough questions, what am I chasing? What's it all for?
Are there things that I should be doing differently? Choices
I should be making differently? What are my deepest priorities?
I mean, when you face losing a child, I don't
know if there's anything more scary than that. And that

(35:43):
was definitely an unbreakable moment for me that you know,
I live with every day because I see her scars
every day. So that was an unbreakable moment, and I.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
Hope she sees it as as she gets older, Like
our scars are that's our currency.

Speaker 3 (35:59):
That's what makes us.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
Yeah, right, what what didn't break us is what makes
us so beautiful and powerful and successful.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
And that's what life is about. It's easy to go
navigate the easy times and by getting that, you don't
need books for that, right, But.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
It's getting through these things, but our scars that's our everything.
I appreciate you sharing that with us.

Speaker 4 (36:18):
I really do no thank you, Jay, I mean it's
it's it's a lot to unpack and listen. Thanks for
the work that you do. It isn't It really is
an honor and a pleasure to be on your show.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Man, I appreciate it so much. Make sure you all
get dynamic drive.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
Mally Fletcher. Appreciate you being my teammate.

Speaker 4 (36:33):
Thanks for being mine, Man, appreciate you
Advertise With Us

Host

Jay Glazer

Jay Glazer

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.