Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental Wealth podcast
Build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.
Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.
I'm Jay Glazer. It's a special holiday edition. So the
guests today are you and me. What I want to
(00:25):
do here is I know the holidays are hard for
a lot of us, and I always wanted looking back now,
I wish the guy i'm now could help the guy
was back then to get through some of these holidays.
Holidays are difficult for a lot of us. A lot
of times them when family is hard, a lot of times,
loneliness is hard. It hits us hard. So what I
(00:45):
want to try and do today is see where I
can help, See if I can coach, See if I
can maybe inspire people to make these holidays a little
bit easier for all of us. And some of the
things that have kind of helped me along the way. So,
first of all, one of the things that we could
really do for people who and I'll get into people
who could be triggered in a second, but there's holidays
(01:07):
where I didn't go anywhere else or I had to work,
and you know, that kind of that loneliness on those
holidays gets to Even though I knew I was working,
it still kind of got to me, and the loneliness
was really hard. So what I try to do on
those years is I decide I'm going to go be
of service and I would go feed the homeless during Thanksgiving.
(01:30):
I would go to shelters to help during Thanksgiving in
the past. Also, I've got a military basis and that
was through Fox. But my point is, if you're of service,
it really takes away And this is a big goal
of mine in dealing with the great dealing with your
depression and anxiety. When we're of service, it cuts through
that gray and it gets us to see the blue.
Will no better time for you to be of service
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than the holidays and say it on yourself. You know,
I'm going to actually celebrate, celebrate myself by being of
service helping others. Could be an animal shelter, whatever it is,
figure it out. When I was really broke in New
York City, you know, I had a bartend on the
holidays and there was a Barcoe let's make a dacorate
at the South Street Seaport. I would then go get
(02:14):
food and I would go out and hand them to
the homeless, and I'd be like, I'm gonna have Thanksgiving
with them. How as that sounds some of the best
Thanksgivings I've had, people will really appreciate it. And again,
when you were of service, it's really hard to tell
you bad things about yourself. So right now on holiday times,
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we tend to beat up on ourselves a lot if
we are alone or when your service. The roommates in
your head don't get that voice. The roommates in your
head don't get to set the narrative. So I can't
tell you enough how important that is. And by the way,
even if you do have somewhere to go, figure out
a place, something some way, you could still be of
(02:55):
service because you have that in your back pocket. No
matter what, it really helps us during the holidays. Number two,
lean into your teammates. You hear me say this all
the time. And what I mean by this is, even
before you're gonna go where you're gonna go, call your boys,
call your home girls, call your sisters, your brothers, call
your people and say, listen, this may be a hard
(03:18):
one for me. Are you gonna be available? Can I
talk to you? If they are. If I need to
take a step away, can I holler? Because a lot
of times too somebody will say absolutely and they needed it. Also,
So lean into your teammates, really lean in. Also, like
I'm saying, at a time like this, going into it,
if you know that you're gonna go, let's see family
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and it's gonna trigger you, talk to your crew about it.
Talk to your crew about it going in, get ideas
from them. How could I better handle this? How could
I better not get beat up? How can I prevent
myself from from going down these rabbit holes? So have
these talks immediately, Immediately call your crew, Lean into your teammates,
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a look in. When I'm really struggling, I call two
people used to be for but two people to tell
them I'm struggling, and then two people to not tell
him I'm struggling, just to check up on them, because
that's being of service. So it's another thing, right, if
you're having difficulties the holidays, just call some of your teammates,
check up on them, see how they're doing. It's another
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way for you to be of service. But it's keeping
you connected to your teammates, and that's protecting your own sanity.
It's building your own fortress about what can keep you
happy and keep you safe. The whole point is we
got to keep ourselves safe here. Number three, Stay in
your rituals. I now I have all these rituals, breathwork, meditation,
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gratitude list, working out. I do a cold plunk that
Michael Phelps, my brother sent me called Chili Goat little
plug there for him we do. I say these prayers
with Rosy and myself. But I have these rituals that
I now do religiously. I do this whole thing for
my hipsto my hips up every day kind of help me.
(05:02):
I do this stretching routine, I do uh again, breath work,
I do that a couple times a day. Stay in
your routine so when you go somewhere and you know
it's going to trigger you again, you want you want
your rituals and your your schedule to be as structured
as possible. So don't let yourself get thrown off course,
thrown off base by being somewhere else. It's such an
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important thing because we tend to go somewhere else and
you put it on hold. It's your support system. Don't
get rid of your support system. When you need your
support the most, make sure, no matter what, you prioritize
what your rituals have become. Okay. Another thing here, A
lot of times when we get triggered, okay, we feel
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like that helpless little kid again, that's hard, okay, and
I feel like that helpless are beaten down little kid.
So a couple of things. Number One, if you are triggered,
first and foremost, immediately forgive yourself. Immediately. Just go to
that next room, Go in that next room, forgive yourself.
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But the other thing I want you to do is
go in the next room and love that little kid up. Okay.
So I learned this from these monks in Thailand. And
these monks said to me, Hey, we want you to
want you to come to do the monk thing. We
want you to not talk to anybody, and we want
you to for three days. I'm not talking anybody for
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three days a month. I got ADHD, what are we
talking about here? And they said, want you to do?
And what you call yourself growing up was a jay?
I said that was Jason. Okay, we want you to
I'll talk to anybody, and we want you to just
meditate and picture little Jason and hold his hand, put
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your arm around him, tell him you got him, it's
gonna be okay, And show him some compassion because he
probably doesn't feel like he's had enough or at any
Love that little kid up. It changed my life. A
lot of the issues I've had has been that triggered
little kid, that beating down little kids. Not I wouldn't
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phasily beat down my parents or anything, but man, I
was a runt to the litter. I was tiny grown up.
It was rough in the Jersey Shore. When you're so tiny. Man,
I wrestled one hundred and one pounds in high schools
on one on one pattern. He got shuw. Man, it
was rough. I built myself up in a Jay Glazer.
Who I am now? Because how were ugh? That was?
But love that little kid up. And like I said,
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to this day, when I have these little outbursts, I
realize it's him, the little kid who's screaming out for help,
feels like he did something wrong, feels like he deserves
to be punished. To show that little kid compassion, literally
go to the next room forgive yourself you get triggered,
and love that little queed up. And recently I haven't
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had an issue. I had an issue in sparring. While
I was having like he's little, I wasn't myself. And
I went to Greg Harden and may Rest apple in Peace,
who was the mental performance coach for Tom Brady and
Michael Phelps and Charles Woods and these guys. He's like
Jay that for some reason that scared little kids coming
out of It's like, Greg, I've been sparn been fighting
for years, man. I started wrestling in nineteen eighty two
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and boxing at eighty eight, and MMA in two thousand
and what do you mean? He said, there's something going
on with that little kid. Well, he's horrifying right now,
and you had to let him know he's safe and
comfort him. And started talking to my therapist about it.
And I got to the bottom of it. And now
I got his back and make sure I get that
(08:40):
little kids back. So and those kinds made it sound
a little foreigner people. That was a lot for me.
Like that scared little kid. He became the dominant voice
instead of Jay Glazer Warrior, Jay Glazer being that dominant voice,
and I couldn't shut him up because you don't want
to shut that kid up. You got to comfort him.
So now we're at the holidays, we get triggered. A
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lot of times it's that same kid, and you may
have a hard time with parents or brothers and sisters,
or you know, just your hometown wherever it is, but
you become that scared little kid again. So make sure
that you practice I got you, I got you. Love
that kid up, love him or her up, Hug them,
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hold their hands. Another great thing for your game is,
I'm doing this podcast because there's an awful lot of you, well,
awful lot of us, and felt this way on holidays.
So when you think about it way, I'm in the
majority today, I'm not alone. I'm far from alone. Man,
I'm not alone at all. There are so many other
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people who are going through it right now. So realizing
you're probably in the majority, so we're not alone. If
you get triggered, you're gonna get triggered. It's okay, don't
beat up on yourself. We're gonna forgive ourselves right then,
we're gonna do another room. We're gonna love that little
kid up, comfort that little kid, and also know that
little kid's most important. Okay, your mom, your dad, your brother,
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your sister, your friends, your hometown, people, whatever, they're not
most important. That little kid is. I cannot stress this enough.
That little kid is. You are most important. Give yourself
some grace, forgive yourself. Realize also, hey, this isn't gonna
be forever. It's a couple of days here, staying in rituals,
be of service, whether it's calling others or actually going
(10:27):
and doing something people who are in need. On Thanksgiving,
for the holidays here, lean into your teammates. Make sure
you're there for them and they're there for you. Lean
into them going into it, Be proactive about it, and
make sure that you're being good there as well, and
you're leaning into them also at that point, and make
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sure that no matter what happens on these holidays, you
do know that you are loved. May not feel it
where you are, where you are, we all got teammates.
The teammate of mim My Dog's teammates, Rosie's a teammate,
even though I didn't have her until you know, four
years ago. There are teammates everywhere, right, You just got
to see it and make sure you know you are
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not alone. And you know, finally, like I said, love
that little kid up, but also love the adult you
up as well. Man, If you get thrown off kilter
or give yourself, get yourself back on track. It's never
too late to start over. Even if you make a
big mistake and you have an outburst or something along
those lines. If you have a milktown, just restart again.
(11:34):
It's okay, start from square one. We're good with that. Yeah,
there's no shame in that. The great part is as
long as you just keep moving forward. If you fall down,
get back up, brush yourself off. Let's all keep walking
this walk together. Love y'all, Happy holidays, and I am
grateful and thankful for all of you. You guys have
given me my purpose. You guys have all given me
(11:56):
my why. Never knew that my pain would lead to
helping others through theirs, So I am so incredibly thankful
for all of you during these holies. Love y'all,