October 22, 2025 • 56 mins
13 Going on 30 actress Christa B. Allen opens up about her viral TikTok video that made headlines!
Hear why she calls her ex a ‘cult leader’ and how she escaped the nightmare that was once a fairytale love affair.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It's Lala Kent. Welcome to untraditionally, Lala, Hello, gorgeous, Welcome
back to untraditionally, Lala. It is yours truly, and I'm
freaking the fuck out. I'm gonna read your bio so
you get all the credit. Okay, I have Christa b Allen, Welcome.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
You guys know that she is an actress, musician, a
content creator. She's best known for her role as young
Jenna Rink in one of MY most favorite movies, thirteen
going on thirty. That movie slaps, okay, laps so hard. Also,
you were Charlotte Grayson on ABC's drama Revenge. That also
so I rewatched that like a few months ago.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
That also slaps. Oh my, are you okay? I just
love you.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
When I met you at the iHeart Party, I was like,
holy fuck Holy it was like instant. It was instant connection.
This this blew my mind. So you're a native Californian
and you're the youngest of nine siblings that I no
and I can't wait to deep dive into that. Christa
has spent much of her life in the industry. She
has recently expanded her reach beyond acting over the years, writing, producing,
(01:10):
and fronting the musical duo.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Poor Vu did I say it? Yeah? This sexy accent, yeah,
Palfe si magnavique.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Wow, that is gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yet no radibal applause for you. Welcome, thank you, thank
you so much for having me. I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
You know, the moment we met at the iHeart event,
I feel like we instantly hit it off. And I
believe that saying where like the the eyes are the
window to the soul. Yep, and I loved your soul.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I feel the same way. And it's not often that
you have such an instant connection with someone. No, I instantly, Yeah,
I felt the same thing. I was like, wait a minute,
you're super spiritual, aren't you, And you're like the most
and then we got into the deepest topics in the
first five minutes and it was incredible.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
It was incredible, and I felt so seen by you,
like I brought up I think I was talking about
my kids or something, because you were there with your
friend Emily. Yes, and she was on my podcast years
ago and I just found her. I think I told
you this at the party, and I told Emily this,
You're the reason why one of my nights dands is
full of lube because I asked her what's the one
(02:21):
thing that's so underrated, and she was like, lube.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Emily is a lube evangelist and a toy evangelist. She's
really opened my eyes to that whole world as well.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Okay, Like, what like sex toys?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Yeah, I mean obviously I wasn't like opposed to them before. Yeah,
but the way she talks about them as like a
part of one's overall sex life rather than replacing something, right,
just kind of integrating them into your sex life, which
for me at the moment is non existent. So dory
from that, they are replacing the sex life. Yes, yeah, yeah,
(02:52):
they're standing in.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yes, I love that they're standing in.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I'm going to use that.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, I'm a fan of the sex toys by the way,
And you don't have to get too much into it,
because I don't want to make you feeluncmfortable. I'mnna make
you feelunomfortable. Maybe just let me know and I'll shut
the fuck up. But when you're with your person or
whoever you're being intimate with, you need to have a
vibrator for his balls. And then I recently ventured into dildo's.
(03:18):
I know, I'm a whack job, but there's this one
that the setting it's just like it like just moves
like this, but then it has beads that then start
and then it has the hook on the top that vibrates.
And I'm like, with toys that are being made like this,
they will be replacing men. Truthfully, you don't even have
to say anything. That's that's my take.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I'm open to it all. And now that we've got Ai,
you've got someone to talk to, you've got all the
physical parts of it's what's to miss.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I mean, men should really be worried. They truly should be.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
They should really be. I sat with a friend of
mine the other night. He happens to be a homosexual
and has a bunch of close girlfriends, and he's like, girl,
everyone's turning to the other side. Now everyone has a
little lesbian relationship.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I'm like, really, I know, it's like, yeah, they've got
it figured out. Yeah, I'm one vagina away from that happening. Truthfully, Okay,
I have to ask you about this nine kids?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Yes, what not?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
And were some oopsies or like was this the plan
for your parents? They always wanted a big family.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
It's not as scary as it sounds initially because it's
by marriage. So it's my mom and my stepdad. Oh yes, yeah,
so my mom has four boys and my stepdad has
four boys. They all are, however, older than me, which
was kind of an interesting experience growing up.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Okay, so your mom came into the relationship with four
boys and you, yes, and then the stepdad. And how
old were you when they got married.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I think I was seven or eight? Was that how
old was the oldest? I don't know. There's quite an
age difference, yes, but yeah, he's always been in the picture,
so it kind of felt like we were a family, yeah,
except for we've lived in different parts of the country,
so we're not like physically close. That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I have to imagine that they're very protective of.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
You, very protective.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
It created this interesting combination in me which I kind
of feel like you have a similar energy, which is like,
I'm very, very tough okay at the core, but I
also was kind of treated like a princess because I
was the youngest and the only girl. So I have
this very like feminine, self delicate thing, but also don't
fuck with me, but also don't fuck with me.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, you know, I was having a conversation the other
day with how hard it is because I have a
younger brother who's thirty two, and then my older brother
from my dad's first marriage is almost fifty so and
there's so they're so kind and sweet, and my dad
was so kind and sweet, and I grew up with
nothing but amazing male faces around me. But I found
(06:02):
that when I went into the world, I was constantly
having to put on alpha energy and really embrace my
masculinity because in this day and age, the good men
are really hard to find. They're few and far between.
So I have to match male energy because I'm constantly
going up against toxic masculinity, and I am dying for
(06:27):
the day that I can embrace my feminine side again.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Well, and the thing is, you're capable of it, right, yeah,
And I'm capable of it too, and so that side
can be brought out of you. What I've witnessed in
several circumstances I've been in is, you know, when this
type of man appears in my life, there might be
another woman around who presents herself as completely incapable of
(06:52):
showing up in that way of finding that like masculine
capable part of herself. Yeah, and the man ends up
running to save her. Oh so it's almost like weaponized
incompetence female version. Yeah. So because you're capable, because you
have that within you, they pull it out of you.
(07:15):
Does that make sense? Yeah, But if you didn't have
that in you, they couldn't bring it out of you. Wow.
I'll give you a really great example. So I was
on vacation one time with my Italian prince boyfriend when
I was in my early twenties tell me more, Yes,
and we're having a wonderful time, and my loud mouth,
as always, was posting it all over Instagram, how wonderful
(07:38):
a time we were having in his family's castle in Italy,
and another girlfriend of his at home then developed a
tragic brain injury where you know, she hit her head
and was going to be unable to drive a car
or hold a job. Ever again, she was like actively
dying while we were having a great time on vacation. Yeah.
(08:03):
So you know he had to be on the phone
the whole time with her, like taking care of her
all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Now, when you say this was a girlfriend they were
like an intimate girlfriend or like just a friend that
was a girl, intimate girlfriend, intimate, yes, yeah, did you
know that he was being intimate with other girls?
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yes? I did have an explored non monogamy at some
point in my life.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Okay, love it.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah. But then of course as soon as we return
from vacation, she was fine. Oh, everything went completely back
to normal. But a really great way to you know,
capture a man's masculinity and bring that out of him
is to be completely helpless. Wow. Yeah, holy shit. Yeah,
(08:44):
so a lot of I find that a lot of
women do it intentionally.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
You know what, You're opening my eyes a lot because
I have actually and and tell me if I if
you see things differently, men who are of a certain
age which is older than me, they say that they
love like an independent woman who has their own thing going,
but they actually don't. They want someone that they can
(09:08):
take care of and baby and be the male presence. Right.
The younger men, because they've grown up in a different generation,
actually do want the woman to like thrive on her
own and be successful and have her own thing going.
The older men want to save a chick. They do
not do well when there is a woman who can
(09:30):
put them in their place, who doesn't need them. It's
almost like they feel like we're taking their masculinity from them.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Have you found that. I have found that time and
time again. Or the other thing is they'll say they
want a really powerful, capable, successful woman. Yeah, and then
they will capture her, capture power and take all of
that shine away from her and cut her off at
the knees and make her unable to work or you know,
(10:00):
create that same success in her life. Yeah, they want
to take it away from her.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
I talk about this all the time, like any of
my friends who are like, oh my gosh, he's going
to like pay my rent or and it puts me
back into a place where I'm like, no, no, no, he's
trying to take your independence. That's what's happening. You're looking
at it like, how kind and thoughtful He's taking some
pressure off of me. No, No, he is cutting you
off at the knees.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
He wants to own you, and he wants to control
you most of the time. Most of the times, there
are wonderful relationships. There are marriages that work out very
well where you know the man is taking the brunt
of the responsibility in that department. But yeah, I've found
in most cases they're trying to own you.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
What experiences did you have to lead you to that
thought process? Because I think at the iHeart party we
talked that you have you have dated people with tons
of money, no money, older than you, younger than you,
like you've tried it all.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
That's right. Yeah, so many people know that I moved
to Miami for about three years.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
How old were you when you did that.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I just moved back in April, so that was yeah,
so recently. Yeah, it just happened. It felt like this
kind of soul mission. I was really pulled there. I
didn't know why, but I really wanted to live there,
and so I did and I learned a lot. But
it was interesting because just prior to leaving to Miami,
I dated someone who was literally homeless. I lived in
(11:28):
his car. Okay. I was very very successful at the time,
like just doing you know, amazing work on TikTok and
very very successful, and he more or less would like
live with me and kind of bounce around. Okay. And
then when I moved to Miami, I dated someone who
was known in the community. I don't know his personal
(11:49):
financial details, but he was known in the community as
a billionaire. They would refer to him as a billionaire.
It really ran the gamut, you know, because both of
those people, you know, the one that more or less
lived with me was like, Yeah, we're gonna have this
great life together. We're gonna be creators together. I'll help
you build your platform. He was a you know, a director, cinematographer.
(12:12):
He's like, we'll do this together. Yeah, he was gonna
help me in that way, but then ultimately decided to
just go out and date a bunch of people, like
you know, girls on OnlyFans and like all this stuff.
And then this same thing happened with the guy in Miami,
like all the resources in the world, you know, could
so easily take care of me, and he would offer
(12:33):
to and then it was like he'd be like, come on,
like move in with me, bring your bags, like like
get rid of your apartment, come move in with me.
Had this beautiful house on the beach, and as soon
as I would show up and be like, Okay, I'm
trusting you. You've you've damn near begged me to be
your girlfriend. You've courted me for months, You've asked me
to move in with you, and then the second I
(12:54):
would say yes, all of a sudden, he would be
seen around town with other women, what on dates with
other women, on vacations with this family, with other women.
So it's like they'll get you to agree to something
so that they have a woman at home, they have
their primary family, and then they go and or primary
(13:16):
relationship and go and seek more.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
You have, like the same outlook and experiences that I have.
Isn't that wild? And that's why I feel like I
have to talk about it all the time. And then
I find that there are women out there who are
like they you know, you're a man hater, you're scorned,
you're all of these things.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
I'm like, you should be saying, thank you.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
I'm giving you the roadmap, the playbook on things to
look for when you go out and try to find
your person so that you don't end up in a
situation that you cannot get out of.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Exactly that. And it's not about being a man hater.
It's about understanding what you're really dealing with. Because I
think a lot of women are very naive about what's
really happening. I think so too, and they bury their
head in the sand. They're like, my husband would never,
my boyfriend would never, and they don't know what's really happening.
(14:20):
And someone like yourself and someone like myself, you know,
we've got a bit of a platform. We look a
certain way, we're exposed to certain whatever experiences, and we
might have a more comprehensive picture of what's happening of
you know, somebody sliding into our DMS with the profile
photo is him and his wife smiling happily, and he's
like begging to take us on a date. I don't
(14:43):
know if you have this experience, but it's you know,
for I.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Used to have a lot of those experiences. And then
when I became very vocal about my own situation and
just like it then became something that wasn't just about
my situation, but where I felt the need to tell
women like what kind of men could be among us?
We look out for them, And all of this sudden,
the man is very afraid of the law.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Law right because he spoke because he said something. Yep, yeah,
because you're a you're not supposed to observe that it's
happening and be you're definitely not supposed to speak on it.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
No, how dare you talk about it?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
And all of a sudden you're this you know, woman
out of out of control. You're crazy because you what
did you do? You observed it and spoke about what
they did. I would say to you know, the person
I did in Miami, he would like, take this other
girl on vacation or go out with her, and I'd
be like, please, could you not go on vacation with
(15:44):
another girl? And he'd be like, how dare you say
that to me? You are so you know, you're triggered
and you're unhinged because you said what I'm doing the
song that I did, I'm the I'm I'm the crazy
one because I said the thing that he did.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Were there moments were you allowed meant to gaslight you
and think and go, oh, this is my fault.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
The thing is La La. You don't end up in
these situations because somebody's being vague or unclear. Like when
I moved back to La Yeah, I was in love
with someone. You don't move across the country for someone
that's like.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Eh, no, No.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
They are looking you in your eyes and saying, I've
never met anyone like you. I can't wait for our
future together. I can't like we would sit in the
back of an uber on the Sabbath and put He'd
be like, put our pictures into chat cheepet, let's see
what our future kids are gonna look like. That is
(16:54):
why you move across the country for someone. What the fuck?
Not because he's being kind of vague. Oh, it's because
you're making wedding plans, right.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Could you imagine I could never in a million years
sit across from someone and know that I've got this
whole life back here going on and tell them I
want you to move in with me.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I want to do this for real.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I could never.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Meanwhile, you're going out on dates with other people, just
say nothing, just say nothing. You can just say nothing.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
It's it's almost like a high for them. I think
there's a high in the catch, and then there's a
high in the getting caught, and then there's a high
in trying to keep.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So it's a gamble.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
It's a constant. They love the highest of highs, and
then they thrive in the lowest of low so that
they can get back up again. Yep. It's a lot, yep.
And those men are alive and well by the way
I see them all the time, I'm like, ugh, I
know about you, and then I'm label oh.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yeah, a bitch, this is why you don't have a husband.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I'm like, I don't have a husband because this is
what out there. You're in real time showing me why
I don't want this. Yes, how did you end up
with the cult leader? And please break that down for me?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Okay, So I would love to open this conversation just
by saying I used some very powerful words okay in
that TikTok, and I probably should have known better as
a person who has such a deep understanding of how
media works, that using the words cult leader would prompt
(18:31):
a reaction, and it did, and as a result, the
press really ran with it, and they started writing a
lot of things about that situation that I never said,
and as a result, an organization and people that were
not involved in the situation at all and I had
nothing but lovely experiences with were kind of tied into
(18:55):
that conversation in the press. And I just want to
apologize for that. I love that because my situation was
with one person, okay, and the cult of personality and
cult of toxicity around this situation. Okay. So I just
want to say that. I love that you said that.
I think so.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
I've been in a program for my drinking today, I've
been sober seven years sober, and congratulations you. I appreciate that. Yeah,
it's it's been very, very It's been a lot of
work too, that's beautiful. I don't knock on wood. I
haven't craved alcohol, but in the program, which I think
(19:37):
is beneficial for literally anybody, even if you don't struggle
with addiction, because they just try to teach you own
your part in things. And I think you saying that
and keeping your side of the street clean is massive
and I admire you for that because words are very powerful.
And you know, I do reality TV, whereas like you
(20:00):
actually have a talent. I am not media trained, and.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
So don't undersell yourself. What you do is it is
a talent and it's not easy and not everyone can
do it well.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I appreciate you saying that. And I'm still having to learn,
Like when I go out and I'm talking, you know,
what will the media pick up on? Because I'm just
so used to like living my life and being who
I am that I forget in certain moments like oh
this will be the headline. What I just said, it's
a lot to have to censor yourself and you can
(20:37):
feel however you want, but don't put that out there
or how do I change the wordings You do have
an out of body experience, and I can only imagine
when that popped up as the headline your nervous system
was shot?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Do you know it actually doesn't affect my nervous system
anymore because it's happened to me so many times my life. Okay,
so I was just sort of like, oh God, but
I did. It did break my heart for the people
who might unintentionally be wrapped up in it that were
never anything but absolutely gorgeous to me, like beautiful people,
(21:16):
beautiful experiences. But yeah, there is this recurrent theme, you know,
where it seems like if you observe or call out
bad behavior, all of a sudden, you're the bad guy. Yeah,
and it has become my platform in life to or
(21:37):
my mission in life, to just remind women of how
powerful they are. Yeah, nothing would exist or run in
the same way if it weren't for women. Nightclubs would
not exist. Men would not go to clubs if the
women weren't there. Restaurants would not exist in the same
(22:00):
way if women weren't. They're like, like, economies exist because
men are trying to impress women, Like we are these
goddesses that men are trying to impress. Yeah, you know,
and I think it's so easy for women to forget
that and to forget their inherent connection with the divine right,
(22:24):
and they get wrapped up in you know. I'm sorry
I keep using this like nightclub example, but I just
hear younger women, especially like, oh, he offered like me
to go sit on his table, or like a free
meal or a trip, or you know, to go on
a yacht or something, and they're like so dazzled by it,
(22:48):
by these offerings of free things or dazzling experiences, not
understanding that the only reason that whole experience has value
is because the women are the right. If there are
no women on the yacht, there's no yacht.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Correct. I mean, you and I have both been to nightclubs.
You roll up with a bunch of men, you're not
getting in, you're not getting in. You get one man
with a bunch of women, you're all getting in.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I know, the drill. But these women, they they're dazzled
by these experiences and they think they're getting some they're
being offered some gift, right, Yeah, not realizing that they're
actually giving up the most powerful thing that they have,
which is their presence. Wow. And you know obviously a
(23:39):
lot of women will then end up like sleeping with
someone or whatever. That is like part of the deal, right.
Nobody tells you that at the beginning. Now, but it
becomes apparent at some point that if you're not flirting
with someone, sleeping with someone, going on a date with someone,
why are you here?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Yep, you are.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
You are a product to be traded. You are a
part of this account and so none of those experiences
have any value if the woman's not there, So you're
not getting anything for free. It's not free.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
No, never you ever paying in your life force, Yes,
Bethany Frankel said if you and she used she used
Mary when if you marry for money, you pay for
the rest of your life. I think anytime you do
anything where the value comes in the form of a dollar,
(24:28):
I'm spending money on a yacht, I'm spending money on
a dinner or a nightclub experience, you are then going
to have to pay for me with your soul. And
I never realized that until I started gaining the thirty
thousand foot view and realizing, wow. My mom always told me,
(24:57):
and although she you know, I'm from Salt Lake City, Utah,
although she never experienced this sort of life, she always
told me, you continue. And my parents were very happily married. Right,
You always keep your independence. If a man comes in
and wants to take care of you, you continue to work,
You continue to shove your pennies away. And thank god
I listened to her in that moment, because a rainy
(25:20):
day will come. You don't know what form it's going
to come in, whether it's infidelity, your man hits on
hard times and can't you know, afford the lifestyle anymore.
You're at some point going to have to use your
rainy day fund. Yes, right, yes, And I never experienced.
I always experienced like come and have the free dinner,
or you know, you're invited on a yacht.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Thank goodness.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I don't know if the universe just didn't have that
in store for me. Most would probably use my ex
as an example, but for me, I was like, I
was into him. But I did see a lot of
girls who would come out and they were living these
like their instagrams were crazy. I was like, this girl
lives the fucking life.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Cut to where we are now. She's back living in
Idaho and has found a great guy, but has you know,
I'm sure had some experiences in the big city that
chewed her up and spit her out. And it's very
sad to me because you're right, you do think like, oh,
they're offering this to me. You feel like it's a gift,
(26:21):
and it's not a gift. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Well, and it's the way it's presented to you and
to me, there are so many parallels to the experiences
I had growing up in Hollywood, where you know, half
of the opportunities that come your way, it's like, well,
we don't have budget, but it's an amazing opportunity for
you to come spend your life force energy for a
(26:48):
week a month, giving it to our project where we
make money. Yeah, but not for you.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Yeah, but see, you get to be here. You get
to be here. How lucky are you? But I feel
like you and probably myself, we become a liability to
the system because we see it for what it is.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
That's why they get so angry when we speak.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
So I'm wondering because you started acting at the age
of nine. You were put into like you said, you
wanted to do acting classes, and you like really dove
into Hollywood, yes, and the lights. Did you feel like
you were in the cult?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Okay? So again, the word cult was probably not the
right word to use. What would it be, okay, cult
of personality? I don't know. I honestly don't know the
right term to use. Okay. All I can say is
I would not have moved across the country to be
with someone had there not been a very clear, you know,
(27:50):
trajectory for our future.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
There was, like like it was a very beautiful relationship,
and I was doing a job that was not perfect,
you know, it was not the ideal thing for me
to do be doing at the time, but it did
pay the bills. And he gave me an ultimatum, okay,
that I could be with him and quit my job
(28:14):
or not be with him and keep my job. So
prompted me to move, forced me to quit my job,
and then I found myself in a situation where I
was essentially part of a very large group mmm, Okay
(28:34):
that I didn't know about, or I would not have
moved across the country. Right, consider this means selling all
my stuff. I moved with my dog like it's a
big undertaking, right. And then when I got here, I
found out there were all these others.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Like you, other women, yes, okay, and periphery.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
But the craziest part was that everyone else seemed to
be okay with it.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
You know.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
And I don't know about you, but like La La,
if you if you date someone and you guys have
a sexual relationship and it's the whole thing, that man
for me is off limits for the rest of our lives. Yeah,
I'm the same way. I don't look at that person.
I don't like that is your man, even if he's
your axe, that's your thing. But you know, there was
(29:33):
this whole crew of like people who we're all friends
and all okay with it, and then they would go
on vacation and it like everyone was okay with it.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
I wonder if he gave everyone else the heads up,
like if he was more forthcoming or if it was
I also think.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I don't think so, because girls do not end up
in the situation where they're moving for someone if they
don't think they're the only one.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I mean, I don't know, I'm saying this, and we're
not using his name, but to me, it sounds like
a grooming process. What's happening?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Yes, you know, and these girls would they would watch
him with not the act itself, but they would see
him with girl after girl after girl and just be
like okay, and they would still go for it and
still be all in you know, which is.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Just not me. It's just not me.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
It sounds very dark. It's very dark. And the weirdest
part for me is how everyone's okay with it.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I don't think they are okay with it. I think
numbing happens and whatever however you want to take that.
I think that people sink into being comfortable, like even
in the unhappiest of just a cookie cutter marriage, you
fall into. But I'm comfortable here, like I know what
it is. Right. They got there, a grooming process happened.
(31:08):
They have no independence, they have nowhere to go.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
They they because their independence is taken from correct, they move,
they become absorbed into the ecosystem. But I just for me,
I could not function in that world.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
How quickly after you arrived did you say no, I'm good,
I'm out of here.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Well things started happening pretty quickly, and then there was this,
For example, one trip, he went away and I started
getting phone calls from friends, and you know, he came
back and was just crying and knocked on my door
at two in the morning and was I'm so sorry,
(31:51):
like like please, I'm so sorry, you know, and I
accepted the apology, of course, and he was like, don't worry,
like nothing happened. We're good, Like everything's fine, let's just
be us again. And you know, I opened the door
and I let him in. Shit, and then find out
(32:13):
after the fact that she was asleep, you know, another
another person is asleep.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
In his bed where he's in my bed.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Oh my god. And I just can't imagine, Like I
would not be able to sleep, No, me neither thinking
that my person is in someone else's bed. No, I
would not be able to sleep. I don't know how
they function. I just don't. I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
That's why I think a numbing process is happening as well.
And that's just me saying I think I think, you know, yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Then there's all this other yeah. I mean, I believe
in the power of manifestation and you know, aligning to
things that are meant for you and all this stuff.
I have a very deep spiritual practice, so when we
connected on that level, it was like, oh finally somebody.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yeah, but he probabs me. He didn't even connect with
you on that level.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
He knew how to wrap you up, and that's exactly it.
He will look you in your eyes and say you
manifested this. Yeah, And then you get on the private jet. Oh,
how fun, and he'll say you made this happen. And
then you check into the penthouse and he'll be like,
aren't you powerful, la llah you did this? Oh shit.
(33:37):
So you think, oh, I manifested this incredible situation, But
it's not at all what it seems. And I think
that there should be some sort of recompense in this
lifetime for people who lie to the point where it
(33:59):
like break someone else's reality, you and me both.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Because then you start questioning your spirituality and what's real,
and you go through a tremendous amount of I don't
even want to say healing. But once you're removed from it,
you're sitting there looking in the mirror and you don't
(34:26):
even know who you are anymore. Where your whole life
was built off of the fact that you know who
you are and you're spiritually in tuned, and when that
is kind of taken away from you due to someone else,
you have a moment of feeling like just a shell
of a human You're just a capsule.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
And it's because of the lying. And so anytime I
ended up in a situation like that, it always came
back to my relationship with God. Yeah, and that's I
think for women especially. Yeah, if you have a spiritual practice,
it is the one, you know, saving grace in those situations.
(35:11):
I think so too. And if women can just remember
every day of their lives that they are connected to God.
God is their business partner, God is their husband, God
is their best friend, you know, in everything they do,
then these situations can't break you. They can't actually hurt you,
(35:31):
they can't actually touch you, because you are perfect, whole
and complete with your creator.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Yeah, what was your first big gig?
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Because it's interesting to me that you were in this environment.
And I feel like men like that who are like,
look at this gift I have for you, they kind
of pray on the people who don't they haven't quite
reached their goal. But you were very young, when you
were on thirteen going on thirty.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Yes, Yeah, I found incredible success very young and I'm
so grateful for that, and it obviously has propelled me
in many ways to this day. But it's interesting because
I really got in the industry I was seven, you know,
and when I told my mom I wanted to do this,
and my only driving force was wanting to tell stories
(36:30):
and to connect people.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Wow, at the age of seven, that was your thought process.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
I wanted to tell stories and I would be like
putting on performances in my living room and I would
require my family to come, and I would also charge
them a nickel and like for you, the hustle from
a young age, Capricorn moon would shining. Yeah, So that
was always my goal. Like, I didn't have this idea
(36:57):
of fame or all the other aspects that play into it. Yeah,
And so I learned about those later on, and all
of that has been really hard for me because at
the end of the day, I still just want to
tell amazing stories and connect people. Yeah, And then you
end up in all of these like silly power games,
and you know the politics of how the whole industry works,
(37:20):
and you're like, but I just.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Want to tell stories, right, Like the seven year old
girls still exists, like deep in you where that's all
you want. You're like, I don't need the flashing lights.
I don't need to be famous. I just want to
tell a fucking story.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Yeah, and then you have all these and then you
kind of get this success and this fame and notoriety whatever,
and you have all these people around you like, yeah, girl,
you're famous, Like doesn't it feel good to be famous?
And I'm like, no, it fucking sucks, especially if you
don't have the finances to back it up. Being famous
is not a pleasant experience in almost any way, except
(37:55):
for the way that you can help people, right, Nothing
about it is. The plot is great, it's hard to
keep up. You don't feel a sense of like privacy
in public. Okay, it's only nice if you also have money.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
So then, was thirteen going on thirty your first like bait?
Would you consider that your big break?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
How old were you?
Speaker 1 (38:19):
I was eleven when we shot it?
Speaker 2 (38:21):
That is crazy?
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yeah, so your mom obviously was with you on set? Yes? Yeah? Okay?
Speaker 2 (38:27):
And were you intimidated or were you just excited?
Speaker 1 (38:30):
I was so intimidated. Yeah, It's like this whole new world.
None of my family was in the industry. My family
are blue collar workers, like, yeah, so far removed. So
it was very exciting.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
And then after that, were you just like, I do
love this.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
It is what I want to do. I want to
live on set day in and day out. Yes. Yeah,
And I loved the work ethic that it required.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
There is something very magical about a set, it is, right, yeah, yeah,
and every like the actors walking you know, from set
to their trailer with their their sides in their hand
and like crossing things out and talking to the director
like I would like to say it in this soil,
It's like, it's so, it's such a beautiful collaboration. It is,
(39:18):
yeah and so And I've never done anything like you.
But when you got to doing series, was there a
huge difference between filming a film versus a television show.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Yes? For me, yes, the difference between film and TV
is film has an end date, okay, which I really love.
You know where the stories go, you know the whole story. Yeah,
you know your character arc. Some TV shows that are
also pre written as well, but film has an end date.
It's almost like life really only has so much meaning
(39:57):
because you know it's gonna end. Yeah, makes it really beautiful,
like it's finite and a TV show could go on forever, right,
could keep going. And I have so much respect for
the people who end up on shows for like ten
years whatever. But often it cultivates this feeling of like
(40:18):
people just get tired. They get burnt out, Like it's
you know, if you live for two thousand years, at
some point you'd be like.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I'm tired, right, I'm just tired.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
You know, I've seen it all, I done it all.
Where else can we go with this? So TV can
be a bit like it's work, you know, and it's
there's there's not always a finite end date for some shows, yes,
but I like the finite experience of doing a film.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
So remind me, how did you die in Revenge?
Speaker 1 (40:50):
She was sent to rehub? Was that like your final
and then she came back? No, she didn't die, but.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
You were sent somewhere. You were sent to rehab.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
She was sent to rehub. Yes, but was your story finished? No?
She came back for the last episode. Yeah, Charlotte kind
of wrapped the whole thing up. Charlotte was like a
secret little mastermind on that show.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Yeah, she brought county energy and I loved it.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
I loved it.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
She was fantastic, just the way that she would maneuver
and just like that, that like East Coast wealth. I
just anytime it's a part of a television show, I
eat that shit up.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
It's so good.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
I'm actually gonna watch that tonight.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Where are you from Salt Lake City, Utah? Oh that's right? Yeah, yeah,
So have you spent much time on the East Coast?
Speaker 2 (41:42):
I mean just like going out to New York and
doing like little gigs. But I mean I've never been
to the Hampton.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Neither have I?
Speaker 2 (41:48):
How wild is that?
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yes, let's go take me somewhere cool, ala on, Krista,
take the Hampton please.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
I don't know why I've never, like why we never
traveled there. It was always like, you know, I tend
to gravitate towards like warm, cozy beaches.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Yeah, not tropical.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Take me somewhere where it's like swimsuits, tanskit not like
the linens and flowy dresses. But now as I'm getting older,
I'm like, I want the booge I want the bouginess. Yes,
do you think the comfort? The comfort? I want? Like
the Hampton's looking home and I want you to take
me to like a crab bake or whatever the fuck
those things are I'm talking about, or a clam bake,
(42:31):
clam bake, clam bake, crab bake.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
We would always use that. There was an episode of
Revenge where we did a clam bake and for some reason,
it was such a hard episode to shoot, like things
were just like dragging on it. Nothing was working, and
we'd be like, clam bake, and then that became the
joke for the rest of the series. You'd be like,
clam bake anytime something wasn't working, clam bake.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Love it. Love the inside jokes that develop on said,
it's so fun. I do want to talk to you
about this musical porv. Yes, so how did you have
you always been into like the theater?
Speaker 1 (43:10):
I love music, okay, all music. Yes, I'm very into
sound healing and I think the future of medicine is
in frequency and vibration. And I don't know if you've
seen the videos in India where they like heal people's
broken bones with sound and the whole future of healing
(43:30):
is going towards frequency. Okay, anyway, that is side obviously,
I just love music. Who doesn't? But I had my
former fiance was a music producer. Okay, so it was
the perfect opportunity to realize my long held dreams of
being in a band. So we had a little band.
Are you joking?
Speaker 2 (43:49):
No, you're in a band?
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Well yeah, it doesn't exist to me longer a bit.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
But you what did you do in the band?
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Instruments? Vocals? So we wrote the songs and I sang
them and he produces the music. Wow?
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Are you still in communication with him? Like you stayed friends?
We have stayed friends. We have stayed friends this whole time.
He recently got engaged again.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
So okay, boundary, Yeah, it's boundary, but but yeah, so
much love for him.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Who is your favorite musician? Would you say? Ooh?
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Immediately Bowie comes to mind. I don't know why that,
prince like, I just love I love musicians who use
their music to convey something like deeper you know, yeah,
I totally get that.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
I have to say right now, I'm really bumping Cardi
B's new album. Yes, I cannot check enough. She has
this song with Lizzo and Lizzo's part is I do
think I'm a nut? Four non blondes.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
What's up? Okay? And it is just it, it's just
so Ship, and I can't say nothing, Hannah, motherfucker tell me,
and then you have to sing that part.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
I only know the rise sometimes when a line in bit,
just to get it all out, what was in my head?
And I I'm feeling a little pecuio. So give in
the morning and step outside and I take a deep breath.
Then I get really and I screamed from the top
(45:34):
of my muse what's going on? Oh my god, we're
so fucking good. We have to karaoke together? Please and Ship,
I'm so horny.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Now are we falling in love? Yes?
Speaker 2 (45:50):
I love this.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Wait, what's your go to karaoke song?
Speaker 2 (45:54):
What's up? Is my go to karaoke song? However, I've
been working with my like his name's Jared. He's big
and gay and fabulous, and we're going to perform shallow.
We're working on it. We're working on it. I will
not give you a preview because we're not quite there.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Okay, later when the cameras later, when.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
The cameras at out. But I'm totally inviting you because
I love the moment we just share. I don't know
what it sounds like, but my cup is full. So
I want to know when you heard that you were
going to portray the Jennifer Garner, what did you experience
when you got the call?
Speaker 1 (46:31):
I screamed and ran around the house. And I don't
think I've ever been so excited or grateful in my
life really. Yeah, but it also, you know, everything felt
so right. You're super spiritually, and you'll understand, like I
think that everything that happens in our lives is supposed to,
(46:55):
like anything that is meant for you will be for you,
and there's nothing you can do stop it, and if
it's not for you, there's nothing you can do to
make it be yours. Yeah, So I don't know, it
just it felt so right. Yeah, I'm so grateful for
the projects I've been able to be a part of
because they feel right for me totally, And even in
the periods like I've had obviously long periods where I
(47:16):
haven't worked, and it feels like that's part of the
story too. I know I will again and I'm not worried.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
I always say, I feel like our stories were written
in the Star as well before we even arrived, Like
there was a plan and even when something doesn't make sense,
and I also follow it up with this maybe something
that I just tell myself to make myself feel better
about the circumstances. And I believe that rejection is God's protection.
(47:46):
I learned from her. Name's Amber. She's like my sister wife.
We share a baby daddy. But she said I don't
want anything that's not mine, And I was like that,
just you can want something so badly and if it
doesn't happen for you, you have to just know it's
not it's not yours. How can you want something that
isn't supposed to be yours?
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Right? And you may get it, even you could, you
could strong arm your way into getting it, but it
won't be blessed. No.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
And I love that you said that, because when I
continue to fight for something and i'm I continue to
be blocked, I take a step back and I say,
I'm not fighting for this anymore. Yeah, because there is
a reason, and my higher power is showing me over
and over again that it's not meant to be. And
if I continue fighting for it, I will get it.
And it's going to go to shit, Yeah, it will.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
It will almost punish you yes, like you wanted it
have it here?
Speaker 2 (48:39):
You go like I did everything I could possibly do
to show you that this is not right. Yes, and
you continue to go against me. Yes, we are so
in sync. Dude. I can't even tell you what was
your relationship like with I feel like I can't call
her jen Jennifer Garter on each of like on the set,
was it like I just I feel just knowing myself
(49:02):
at eleven, the age that you were when you were there,
just intimidated by life. I have to imagine you were
way more confident.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
But what was she like to you? I was, Yeah,
I was nervous, but I've also just always been very
like bubbly, so which.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Is perfect because I feel like every time I see
Jennifer Garner trying to give me a capital one card,
I'm like, I'm getting it.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
She's so bubbly and that's really who she is. And
and you know, my experience of her was so beautiful.
She was such a great mentor to me. She was
so she understood that I was a baby and I
need I need a guidance, you know, and she really
(49:48):
we didn't spend a whole lot of time on set
together because we were playing the same character, so we
didn't share scenes, right, but the interactions we did have,
she was so beautifully just helpful and warm and support Yeah.
And to this day, I don't experience a whole lot
of that in the industry, even people who are like
very close friends, like when it comes down to it,
they don't actually support you, they will turn the other cheek.
(50:12):
But with her, there was a warmth and a guidance.
And I just hope to also be that to women.
And Jennifer Garner really had a way of like just
being kind and warm and welcoming and helpful no matter
what the situation was.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
Have you been on set with younger children where you've
kind of taken on how she treated you when you
were in that situation.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
Thank you for Yeah, yeah, you tied that together beautifully. Yeah.
So yes, and that's what I want to how I
want to show up for women now.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
In other words, yeah, I think sometimes there's like this
tension between people for no reason. Yeah, And if we
all are just a little more mindful and there for
each other and helpful, like we can overcome those situations
and those miscommunications. And she really taught me that and
not even in like a specific thing that she did,
(51:10):
but just her presence.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
The presence, you know, yes, the vibration. Yes, I'm all
about the vibration.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
She's not competitive. You know, women, especially in this industry,
can be very competitive and very petty and spiteful. She's
she's just warm and kind.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
So wild that you say that, because so often as
I'm doing reality TV, I'm like, I should have tried
harder as an actress, because I bet that that industry
they just like uplift each other and it's kind and
nice and they're all about aircraft. You saying that makes
me feel like, oh, it's the same type of reality
that I'm living. That portion just isn't documented.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
Yeah, I shared recently, I started a substack and in
my first post, I shared the experience I had on
a set where we were all the cast was sharing
a small cabin with not secured Wi Fi, and it
resulted in basically somebody hacking into my iCloud and leaking
(52:23):
everything in my eye cloud because there was tension on set.
And that happened when I was in my mid twenties,
and it started this sort of like snowball effect in
my life where like suddenly my nudes were on the internet.
What so all of my boundaries were violated. That floodgate
(52:44):
was open, you know, and not by choice. I am
so sorry so these things, Yeah, it definitely happens a wow,
so it gets dirty.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
Yeah, Oh, I'm so sorry that that happened to you.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Thank you. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
When you think about, like, I go back to me
being in my twenties, and it's like, although I'm not
a baby, when I'm dealing with someone in their twenties,
they're young. Yeah, it's a very vulnerable stage of life
because you're looked at as someone who's supposed to be
an adult, but your frontal love hasn't even fully formed.
It's a lot. I can't even imagine that happening to me,
(53:21):
not by choice.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
All of a sudden, I'm like getting phone calls from
my parents like like that was not me intended.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
Yeah, wow, I do you text or talk to Jen Garner?
Speaker 1 (53:37):
Jen, No, we've never had like a friendship in that
way because we were so young. Yeah, when we met,
I was child and she was an adult. But she
has like very kindly sent me messages for my birth
the thirtieth birthday and things like that. So I love that. Yeah,
she's really lovely and supportive.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
Have you ever heard that they would do a sequel
to thirteen going on thirty?
Speaker 1 (53:58):
Everyone is requesting it, Well they need to do it. Uh.
You know, whoever owns that ip, you're just sitting on
a gold mine there, right, Sony?
Speaker 2 (54:06):
So Mark, is it ruffalo or ruffalo? He doesn't fucking age.
He looks like the same human you can play your boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
But you know what they did do is they made
a musical. They did the musical that's right. Yeah, it
just opened in Manchester in the UK, by the way,
and that also went viral. They posted about the musical
ten million views. Shut the front, this door has endless
guests like people just want to see this story.
Speaker 2 (54:34):
You should be.
Speaker 1 (54:35):
In that girl. I agree, Yeah that was my audition.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
By the way, you have to Okay, so open in Manchester.
That means it's not on Bravo in New York yet? Right?
Speaker 1 (54:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (54:46):
What did I say, brodo Bravo? We know where I am.
It's not on Broadway.
Speaker 1 (54:57):
Broadway.
Speaker 2 (54:58):
I'm like, where am I? It's not on Broadway in
New York yet? So this is me telling Broadway that
you have me.
Speaker 1 (55:09):
I got too Broadway.
Speaker 2 (55:12):
With all of that beauty that you just put out
into the universe. And I really hope that all of
my listeners take that with them today. What is next
for you?
Speaker 1 (55:24):
I'm launching my own podcast yay.
Speaker 2 (55:27):
Yes, yes, amazing.
Speaker 1 (55:30):
What is the podcast called. It's called prey Date Okay.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
I love this and what and what is prey Date about?
Speaker 1 (55:39):
Prey Date is your commitment okay, to yourself and your
connection with the divine. So do you have a co
host on this? Yes? Who's the co host? Victoria Daniel?
Did I meet her at the iHeart Party? You did?
Speaker 2 (55:53):
Ye? I loved her too. I know exactly what you're
talking about. I got her contact. When can we find
your podcast prey Date?
Speaker 1 (56:00):
And where? Prey Date launches on eleven eleven? Oh, one
of my most favorite dates. Yes, I'm credit here. I
love it. Yes, and it'll be everywhere you find your podcast. Perfect.
I'm really excited about that.
Speaker 2 (56:14):
Thank you you guys, I love you so much. Thank
you for listening to another episode of Untraditionally La La.
I'm going to catch you guys on Monday for the
bonus and again next week. Bye.
Hello, gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It's Lala Kent. Welcome to untraditionally, Lala, Hello, gorgeous, Welcome
back to untraditionally, Lala. It is yours truly, and I'm
freaking the fuck out. I'm gonna read your bio so
you get all the credit. Okay, I have Christa b Allen, Welcome.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
You guys know that she is an actress, musician, a
content creator. She's best known for her role as young
Jenna Rink in one of MY most favorite movies, thirteen
going on thirty. That movie slaps, okay, laps so hard. Also,
you were Charlotte Grayson on ABC's drama Revenge. That also
so I rewatched that like a few months ago.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
That also slaps. Oh my, are you okay? I just
love you.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
When I met you at the iHeart Party, I was like,
holy fuck Holy it was like instant. It was instant connection.
This this blew my mind. So you're a native Californian
and you're the youngest of nine siblings that I no
and I can't wait to deep dive into that. Christa
has spent much of her life in the industry. She
has recently expanded her reach beyond acting over the years, writing, producing,
(01:10):
and fronting the musical duo.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Poor Vu did I say it? Yeah? This sexy accent, yeah,
Palfe si magnavique.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Wow, that is gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yet no radibal applause for you. Welcome, thank you, thank
you so much for having me. I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
You know, the moment we met at the iHeart event,
I feel like we instantly hit it off. And I
believe that saying where like the the eyes are the
window to the soul. Yep, and I loved your soul.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I feel the same way. And it's not often that
you have such an instant connection with someone. No, I instantly, Yeah,
I felt the same thing. I was like, wait a minute,
you're super spiritual, aren't you, And you're like the most
and then we got into the deepest topics in the
first five minutes and it was incredible.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
It was incredible, and I felt so seen by you,
like I brought up I think I was talking about
my kids or something, because you were there with your
friend Emily. Yes, and she was on my podcast years
ago and I just found her. I think I told
you this at the party, and I told Emily this,
You're the reason why one of my nights dands is
full of lube because I asked her what's the one
(02:21):
thing that's so underrated, and she was like, lube.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Emily is a lube evangelist and a toy evangelist. She's
really opened my eyes to that whole world as well.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Okay, Like, what like sex toys?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Yeah, I mean obviously I wasn't like opposed to them before. Yeah,
but the way she talks about them as like a
part of one's overall sex life rather than replacing something, right,
just kind of integrating them into your sex life, which
for me at the moment is non existent. So dory
from that, they are replacing the sex life. Yes, yeah, yeah,
(02:52):
they're standing in.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yes, I love that they're standing in.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I'm going to use that.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, I'm a fan of the sex toys by the way,
And you don't have to get too much into it,
because I don't want to make you feeluncmfortable. I'mnna make
you feelunomfortable. Maybe just let me know and I'll shut
the fuck up. But when you're with your person or
whoever you're being intimate with, you need to have a
vibrator for his balls. And then I recently ventured into dildo's.
(03:18):
I know, I'm a whack job, but there's this one
that the setting it's just like it like just moves
like this, but then it has beads that then start
and then it has the hook on the top that vibrates.
And I'm like, with toys that are being made like this,
they will be replacing men. Truthfully, you don't even have
to say anything. That's that's my take.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I'm open to it all. And now that we've got Ai,
you've got someone to talk to, you've got all the
physical parts of it's what's to miss.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I mean, men should really be worried. They truly should be.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
They should really be. I sat with a friend of
mine the other night. He happens to be a homosexual
and has a bunch of close girlfriends, and he's like, girl,
everyone's turning to the other side. Now everyone has a
little lesbian relationship.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I'm like, really, I know, it's like, yeah, they've got
it figured out. Yeah, I'm one vagina away from that happening. Truthfully, Okay,
I have to ask you about this nine kids?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Yes, what not?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
And were some oopsies or like was this the plan
for your parents? They always wanted a big family.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
It's not as scary as it sounds initially because it's
by marriage. So it's my mom and my stepdad. Oh yes, yeah,
so my mom has four boys and my stepdad has
four boys. They all are, however, older than me, which
was kind of an interesting experience growing up.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Okay, so your mom came into the relationship with four
boys and you, yes, and then the stepdad. And how
old were you when they got married.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I think I was seven or eight? Was that how
old was the oldest? I don't know. There's quite an
age difference, yes, but yeah, he's always been in the picture,
so it kind of felt like we were a family, yeah,
except for we've lived in different parts of the country,
so we're not like physically close. That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I have to imagine that they're very protective of.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
You, very protective.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
It created this interesting combination in me which I kind
of feel like you have a similar energy, which is like,
I'm very, very tough okay at the core, but I
also was kind of treated like a princess because I
was the youngest and the only girl. So I have
this very like feminine, self delicate thing, but also don't
fuck with me, but also don't fuck with me.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, you know, I was having a conversation the other
day with how hard it is because I have a
younger brother who's thirty two, and then my older brother
from my dad's first marriage is almost fifty so and
there's so they're so kind and sweet, and my dad
was so kind and sweet, and I grew up with
nothing but amazing male faces around me. But I found
(06:02):
that when I went into the world, I was constantly
having to put on alpha energy and really embrace my
masculinity because in this day and age, the good men
are really hard to find. They're few and far between.
So I have to match male energy because I'm constantly
going up against toxic masculinity, and I am dying for
(06:27):
the day that I can embrace my feminine side again.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Well, and the thing is, you're capable of it, right, yeah,
And I'm capable of it too, and so that side
can be brought out of you. What I've witnessed in
several circumstances I've been in is, you know, when this
type of man appears in my life, there might be
another woman around who presents herself as completely incapable of
(06:52):
showing up in that way of finding that like masculine
capable part of herself. Yeah, and the man ends up
running to save her. Oh so it's almost like weaponized
incompetence female version. Yeah. So because you're capable, because you
have that within you, they pull it out of you.
(07:15):
Does that make sense? Yeah, But if you didn't have
that in you, they couldn't bring it out of you. Wow.
I'll give you a really great example. So I was
on vacation one time with my Italian prince boyfriend when
I was in my early twenties tell me more, Yes,
and we're having a wonderful time, and my loud mouth,
as always, was posting it all over Instagram, how wonderful
(07:38):
a time we were having in his family's castle in Italy,
and another girlfriend of his at home then developed a
tragic brain injury where you know, she hit her head
and was going to be unable to drive a car
or hold a job. Ever again, she was like actively
dying while we were having a great time on vacation. Yeah.
(08:03):
So you know he had to be on the phone
the whole time with her, like taking care of her
all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Now, when you say this was a girlfriend they were
like an intimate girlfriend or like just a friend that
was a girl, intimate girlfriend, intimate, yes, yeah, did you
know that he was being intimate with other girls?
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yes? I did have an explored non monogamy at some
point in my life.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Okay, love it.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah. But then of course as soon as we return
from vacation, she was fine. Oh, everything went completely back
to normal. But a really great way to you know,
capture a man's masculinity and bring that out of him
is to be completely helpless. Wow. Yeah, holy shit. Yeah,
(08:44):
so a lot of I find that a lot of
women do it intentionally.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
You know what, You're opening my eyes a lot because
I have actually and and tell me if I if
you see things differently, men who are of a certain
age which is older than me, they say that they
love like an independent woman who has their own thing going,
but they actually don't. They want someone that they can
(09:08):
take care of and baby and be the male presence. Right.
The younger men, because they've grown up in a different generation,
actually do want the woman to like thrive on her
own and be successful and have her own thing going.
The older men want to save a chick. They do
not do well when there is a woman who can
(09:30):
put them in their place, who doesn't need them. It's
almost like they feel like we're taking their masculinity from them.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Have you found that. I have found that time and
time again. Or the other thing is they'll say they
want a really powerful, capable, successful woman. Yeah, and then
they will capture her, capture power and take all of
that shine away from her and cut her off at
the knees and make her unable to work or you know,
(10:00):
create that same success in her life. Yeah, they want
to take it away from her.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
I talk about this all the time, like any of
my friends who are like, oh my gosh, he's going
to like pay my rent or and it puts me
back into a place where I'm like, no, no, no, he's
trying to take your independence. That's what's happening. You're looking
at it like, how kind and thoughtful He's taking some
pressure off of me. No, No, he is cutting you
off at the knees.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
He wants to own you, and he wants to control
you most of the time. Most of the times, there
are wonderful relationships. There are marriages that work out very
well where you know the man is taking the brunt
of the responsibility in that department. But yeah, I've found
in most cases they're trying to own you.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
What experiences did you have to lead you to that
thought process? Because I think at the iHeart party we
talked that you have you have dated people with tons
of money, no money, older than you, younger than you,
like you've tried it all.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
That's right. Yeah, so many people know that I moved
to Miami for about three years.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
How old were you when you did that.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I just moved back in April, so that was yeah,
so recently. Yeah, it just happened. It felt like this
kind of soul mission. I was really pulled there. I
didn't know why, but I really wanted to live there,
and so I did and I learned a lot. But
it was interesting because just prior to leaving to Miami,
I dated someone who was literally homeless. I lived in
(11:28):
his car. Okay. I was very very successful at the time,
like just doing you know, amazing work on TikTok and
very very successful, and he more or less would like
live with me and kind of bounce around. Okay. And
then when I moved to Miami, I dated someone who
was known in the community. I don't know his personal
(11:49):
financial details, but he was known in the community as
a billionaire. They would refer to him as a billionaire.
It really ran the gamut, you know, because both of
those people, you know, the one that more or less
lived with me was like, Yeah, we're gonna have this
great life together. We're gonna be creators together. I'll help
you build your platform. He was a you know, a director, cinematographer.
(12:12):
He's like, we'll do this together. Yeah, he was gonna
help me in that way, but then ultimately decided to
just go out and date a bunch of people, like
you know, girls on OnlyFans and like all this stuff.
And then this same thing happened with the guy in Miami,
like all the resources in the world, you know, could
so easily take care of me, and he would offer
(12:33):
to and then it was like he'd be like, come on,
like move in with me, bring your bags, like like
get rid of your apartment, come move in with me.
Had this beautiful house on the beach, and as soon
as I would show up and be like, Okay, I'm
trusting you. You've you've damn near begged me to be
your girlfriend. You've courted me for months, You've asked me
to move in with you, and then the second I
(12:54):
would say yes, all of a sudden, he would be
seen around town with other women, what on dates with
other women, on vacations with this family, with other women.
So it's like they'll get you to agree to something
so that they have a woman at home, they have
their primary family, and then they go and or primary
(13:16):
relationship and go and seek more.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
You have, like the same outlook and experiences that I have.
Isn't that wild? And that's why I feel like I
have to talk about it all the time. And then
I find that there are women out there who are
like they you know, you're a man hater, you're scorned,
you're all of these things.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
I'm like, you should be saying, thank you.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
I'm giving you the roadmap, the playbook on things to
look for when you go out and try to find
your person so that you don't end up in a
situation that you cannot get out of.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Exactly that. And it's not about being a man hater.
It's about understanding what you're really dealing with. Because I
think a lot of women are very naive about what's
really happening. I think so too, and they bury their
head in the sand. They're like, my husband would never,
my boyfriend would never, and they don't know what's really happening.
(14:20):
And someone like yourself and someone like myself, you know,
we've got a bit of a platform. We look a
certain way, we're exposed to certain whatever experiences, and we
might have a more comprehensive picture of what's happening of
you know, somebody sliding into our DMS with the profile
photo is him and his wife smiling happily, and he's
like begging to take us on a date. I don't
(14:43):
know if you have this experience, but it's you know,
for I.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Used to have a lot of those experiences. And then
when I became very vocal about my own situation and
just like it then became something that wasn't just about
my situation, but where I felt the need to tell
women like what kind of men could be among us?
We look out for them, And all of this sudden,
the man is very afraid of the law.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Law right because he spoke because he said something. Yep, yeah,
because you're a you're not supposed to observe that it's
happening and be you're definitely not supposed to speak on it.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
No, how dare you talk about it?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
And all of a sudden you're this you know, woman
out of out of control. You're crazy because you what
did you do? You observed it and spoke about what
they did. I would say to you know, the person
I did in Miami, he would like, take this other
girl on vacation or go out with her, and I'd
be like, please, could you not go on vacation with
(15:44):
another girl? And he'd be like, how dare you say
that to me? You are so you know, you're triggered
and you're unhinged because you said what I'm doing the
song that I did, I'm the I'm I'm the crazy
one because I said the thing that he did.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Were there moments were you allowed meant to gaslight you
and think and go, oh, this is my fault.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
The thing is La La. You don't end up in
these situations because somebody's being vague or unclear. Like when
I moved back to La Yeah, I was in love
with someone. You don't move across the country for someone
that's like.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Eh, no, No.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
They are looking you in your eyes and saying, I've
never met anyone like you. I can't wait for our
future together. I can't like we would sit in the
back of an uber on the Sabbath and put He'd
be like, put our pictures into chat cheepet, let's see
what our future kids are gonna look like. That is
(16:54):
why you move across the country for someone. What the fuck?
Not because he's being kind of vague. Oh, it's because
you're making wedding plans, right.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Could you imagine I could never in a million years
sit across from someone and know that I've got this
whole life back here going on and tell them I
want you to move in with me.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I want to do this for real.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I could never.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Meanwhile, you're going out on dates with other people, just
say nothing, just say nothing. You can just say nothing.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
It's it's almost like a high for them. I think
there's a high in the catch, and then there's a
high in the getting caught, and then there's a high
in trying to keep.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So it's a gamble.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
It's a constant. They love the highest of highs, and
then they thrive in the lowest of low so that
they can get back up again. Yep. It's a lot, yep.
And those men are alive and well by the way
I see them all the time, I'm like, ugh, I
know about you, and then I'm label oh.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yeah, a bitch, this is why you don't have a husband.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I'm like, I don't have a husband because this is
what out there. You're in real time showing me why
I don't want this. Yes, how did you end up
with the cult leader? And please break that down for me?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Okay, So I would love to open this conversation just
by saying I used some very powerful words okay in
that TikTok, and I probably should have known better as
a person who has such a deep understanding of how
media works, that using the words cult leader would prompt
(18:31):
a reaction, and it did, and as a result, the
press really ran with it, and they started writing a
lot of things about that situation that I never said,
and as a result, an organization and people that were
not involved in the situation at all and I had
nothing but lovely experiences with were kind of tied into
(18:55):
that conversation in the press. And I just want to
apologize for that. I love that because my situation was
with one person, okay, and the cult of personality and
cult of toxicity around this situation. Okay. So I just
want to say that. I love that you said that.
I think so.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
I've been in a program for my drinking today, I've
been sober seven years sober, and congratulations you. I appreciate that. Yeah,
it's it's been very, very It's been a lot of
work too, that's beautiful. I don't knock on wood. I
haven't craved alcohol, but in the program, which I think
(19:37):
is beneficial for literally anybody, even if you don't struggle
with addiction, because they just try to teach you own
your part in things. And I think you saying that
and keeping your side of the street clean is massive
and I admire you for that because words are very powerful.
And you know, I do reality TV, whereas like you
(20:00):
actually have a talent. I am not media trained, and.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
So don't undersell yourself. What you do is it is
a talent and it's not easy and not everyone can
do it well.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I appreciate you saying that. And I'm still having to learn,
Like when I go out and I'm talking, you know,
what will the media pick up on? Because I'm just
so used to like living my life and being who
I am that I forget in certain moments like oh
this will be the headline. What I just said, it's
a lot to have to censor yourself and you can
(20:37):
feel however you want, but don't put that out there
or how do I change the wordings You do have
an out of body experience, and I can only imagine
when that popped up as the headline your nervous system
was shot?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Do you know it actually doesn't affect my nervous system
anymore because it's happened to me so many times my life. Okay,
so I was just sort of like, oh God, but
I did. It did break my heart for the people
who might unintentionally be wrapped up in it that were
never anything but absolutely gorgeous to me, like beautiful people,
(21:16):
beautiful experiences. But yeah, there is this recurrent theme, you know,
where it seems like if you observe or call out
bad behavior, all of a sudden, you're the bad guy. Yeah,
and it has become my platform in life to or
(21:37):
my mission in life, to just remind women of how
powerful they are. Yeah, nothing would exist or run in
the same way if it weren't for women. Nightclubs would
not exist. Men would not go to clubs if the
women weren't there. Restaurants would not exist in the same
(22:00):
way if women weren't. They're like, like, economies exist because
men are trying to impress women, Like we are these
goddesses that men are trying to impress. Yeah, you know,
and I think it's so easy for women to forget
that and to forget their inherent connection with the divine right,
(22:24):
and they get wrapped up in you know. I'm sorry
I keep using this like nightclub example, but I just
hear younger women, especially like, oh, he offered like me
to go sit on his table, or like a free
meal or a trip, or you know, to go on
a yacht or something, and they're like so dazzled by it,
(22:48):
by these offerings of free things or dazzling experiences, not
understanding that the only reason that whole experience has value
is because the women are the right. If there are
no women on the yacht, there's no yacht.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Correct. I mean, you and I have both been to nightclubs.
You roll up with a bunch of men, you're not
getting in, you're not getting in. You get one man
with a bunch of women, you're all getting in.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I know, the drill. But these women, they they're dazzled
by these experiences and they think they're getting some they're
being offered some gift, right, Yeah, not realizing that they're
actually giving up the most powerful thing that they have,
which is their presence. Wow. And you know obviously a
(23:39):
lot of women will then end up like sleeping with
someone or whatever. That is like part of the deal, right.
Nobody tells you that at the beginning. Now, but it
becomes apparent at some point that if you're not flirting
with someone, sleeping with someone, going on a date with someone,
why are you here?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Yep, you are.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
You are a product to be traded. You are a
part of this account and so none of those experiences
have any value if the woman's not there, So you're
not getting anything for free. It's not free.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
No, never you ever paying in your life force, Yes,
Bethany Frankel said if you and she used she used
Mary when if you marry for money, you pay for
the rest of your life. I think anytime you do
anything where the value comes in the form of a dollar,
(24:28):
I'm spending money on a yacht, I'm spending money on
a dinner or a nightclub experience, you are then going
to have to pay for me with your soul. And
I never realized that until I started gaining the thirty
thousand foot view and realizing, wow. My mom always told me,
(24:57):
and although she you know, I'm from Salt Lake City, Utah,
although she never experienced this sort of life, she always
told me, you continue. And my parents were very happily married. Right,
You always keep your independence. If a man comes in
and wants to take care of you, you continue to work,
You continue to shove your pennies away. And thank god
I listened to her in that moment, because a rainy
(25:20):
day will come. You don't know what form it's going
to come in, whether it's infidelity, your man hits on
hard times and can't you know, afford the lifestyle anymore.
You're at some point going to have to use your
rainy day fund. Yes, right, yes, And I never experienced.
I always experienced like come and have the free dinner,
or you know, you're invited on a yacht.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Thank goodness.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I don't know if the universe just didn't have that
in store for me. Most would probably use my ex
as an example, but for me, I was like, I
was into him. But I did see a lot of
girls who would come out and they were living these
like their instagrams were crazy. I was like, this girl
lives the fucking life.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Cut to where we are now. She's back living in
Idaho and has found a great guy, but has you know,
I'm sure had some experiences in the big city that
chewed her up and spit her out. And it's very
sad to me because you're right, you do think like, oh,
they're offering this to me. You feel like it's a gift,
(26:21):
and it's not a gift. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Well, and it's the way it's presented to you and
to me, there are so many parallels to the experiences
I had growing up in Hollywood, where you know, half
of the opportunities that come your way, it's like, well,
we don't have budget, but it's an amazing opportunity for
you to come spend your life force energy for a
(26:48):
week a month, giving it to our project where we
make money. Yeah, but not for you.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Yeah, but see, you get to be here. You get
to be here. How lucky are you? But I feel
like you and probably myself, we become a liability to
the system because we see it for what it is.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
That's why they get so angry when we speak.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
So I'm wondering because you started acting at the age
of nine. You were put into like you said, you
wanted to do acting classes, and you like really dove
into Hollywood, yes, and the lights. Did you feel like
you were in the cult?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Okay? So again, the word cult was probably not the
right word to use. What would it be, okay, cult
of personality? I don't know. I honestly don't know the
right term to use. Okay. All I can say is
I would not have moved across the country to be
with someone had there not been a very clear, you know,
(27:50):
trajectory for our future.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
There was, like like it was a very beautiful relationship,
and I was doing a job that was not perfect,
you know, it was not the ideal thing for me
to do be doing at the time, but it did
pay the bills. And he gave me an ultimatum, okay,
that I could be with him and quit my job
(28:14):
or not be with him and keep my job. So
prompted me to move, forced me to quit my job,
and then I found myself in a situation where I
was essentially part of a very large group mmm, Okay
(28:34):
that I didn't know about, or I would not have
moved across the country. Right, consider this means selling all
my stuff. I moved with my dog like it's a
big undertaking, right. And then when I got here, I
found out there were all these others.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Like you, other women, yes, okay, and periphery.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
But the craziest part was that everyone else seemed to
be okay with it.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
You know.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
And I don't know about you, but like La La,
if you if you date someone and you guys have
a sexual relationship and it's the whole thing, that man
for me is off limits for the rest of our lives. Yeah,
I'm the same way. I don't look at that person.
I don't like that is your man, even if he's
your axe, that's your thing. But you know, there was
(29:33):
this whole crew of like people who we're all friends
and all okay with it, and then they would go
on vacation and it like everyone was okay with it.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
I wonder if he gave everyone else the heads up,
like if he was more forthcoming or if it was
I also think.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I don't think so, because girls do not end up
in the situation where they're moving for someone if they
don't think they're the only one.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I mean, I don't know, I'm saying this, and we're
not using his name, but to me, it sounds like
a grooming process. What's happening?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Yes, you know, and these girls would they would watch
him with not the act itself, but they would see
him with girl after girl after girl and just be
like okay, and they would still go for it and
still be all in you know, which is.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Just not me. It's just not me.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
It sounds very dark. It's very dark. And the weirdest
part for me is how everyone's okay with it.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I don't think they are okay with it. I think
numbing happens and whatever however you want to take that.
I think that people sink into being comfortable, like even
in the unhappiest of just a cookie cutter marriage, you
fall into. But I'm comfortable here, like I know what
it is. Right. They got there, a grooming process happened.
(31:08):
They have no independence, they have nowhere to go.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
They they because their independence is taken from correct, they move,
they become absorbed into the ecosystem. But I just for me,
I could not function in that world.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
How quickly after you arrived did you say no, I'm good,
I'm out of here.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Well things started happening pretty quickly, and then there was this,
For example, one trip, he went away and I started
getting phone calls from friends, and you know, he came
back and was just crying and knocked on my door
at two in the morning and was I'm so sorry,
(31:51):
like like please, I'm so sorry, you know, and I
accepted the apology, of course, and he was like, don't worry,
like nothing happened. We're good, Like everything's fine, let's just
be us again. And you know, I opened the door
and I let him in. Shit, and then find out
(32:13):
after the fact that she was asleep, you know, another
another person is asleep.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
In his bed where he's in my bed.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Oh my god. And I just can't imagine, Like I
would not be able to sleep, No, me neither thinking
that my person is in someone else's bed. No, I
would not be able to sleep. I don't know how
they function. I just don't. I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
That's why I think a numbing process is happening as well.
And that's just me saying I think I think, you know, yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Then there's all this other yeah. I mean, I believe
in the power of manifestation and you know, aligning to
things that are meant for you and all this stuff.
I have a very deep spiritual practice, so when we
connected on that level, it was like, oh finally somebody.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yeah, but he probabs me. He didn't even connect with
you on that level.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
He knew how to wrap you up, and that's exactly it.
He will look you in your eyes and say you
manifested this. Yeah, And then you get on the private jet. Oh,
how fun, and he'll say you made this happen. And
then you check into the penthouse and he'll be like,
aren't you powerful, la llah you did this? Oh shit.
(33:37):
So you think, oh, I manifested this incredible situation, But
it's not at all what it seems. And I think
that there should be some sort of recompense in this
lifetime for people who lie to the point where it
(33:59):
like break someone else's reality, you and me both.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Because then you start questioning your spirituality and what's real,
and you go through a tremendous amount of I don't
even want to say healing. But once you're removed from it,
you're sitting there looking in the mirror and you don't
(34:26):
even know who you are anymore. Where your whole life
was built off of the fact that you know who
you are and you're spiritually in tuned, and when that
is kind of taken away from you due to someone else,
you have a moment of feeling like just a shell
of a human You're just a capsule.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
And it's because of the lying. And so anytime I
ended up in a situation like that, it always came
back to my relationship with God. Yeah, and that's I
think for women especially. Yeah, if you have a spiritual practice,
it is the one, you know, saving grace in those situations.
(35:11):
I think so too. And if women can just remember
every day of their lives that they are connected to God.
God is their business partner, God is their husband, God
is their best friend, you know, in everything they do,
then these situations can't break you. They can't actually hurt you,
(35:31):
they can't actually touch you, because you are perfect, whole
and complete with your creator.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Yeah, what was your first big gig?
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Because it's interesting to me that you were in this environment.
And I feel like men like that who are like,
look at this gift I have for you, they kind
of pray on the people who don't they haven't quite
reached their goal. But you were very young, when you
were on thirteen going on thirty.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Yes, Yeah, I found incredible success very young and I'm
so grateful for that, and it obviously has propelled me
in many ways to this day. But it's interesting because
I really got in the industry I was seven, you know,
and when I told my mom I wanted to do this,
and my only driving force was wanting to tell stories
(36:30):
and to connect people.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Wow, at the age of seven, that was your thought process.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
I wanted to tell stories and I would be like
putting on performances in my living room and I would
require my family to come, and I would also charge
them a nickel and like for you, the hustle from
a young age, Capricorn moon would shining. Yeah, So that
was always my goal. Like, I didn't have this idea
(36:57):
of fame or all the other aspects that play into it. Yeah,
And so I learned about those later on, and all
of that has been really hard for me because at
the end of the day, I still just want to
tell amazing stories and connect people. Yeah, And then you
end up in all of these like silly power games,
and you know the politics of how the whole industry works,
(37:20):
and you're like, but I just.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Want to tell stories, right, Like the seven year old
girls still exists, like deep in you where that's all
you want. You're like, I don't need the flashing lights.
I don't need to be famous. I just want to
tell a fucking story.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Yeah, and then you have all these and then you
kind of get this success and this fame and notoriety whatever,
and you have all these people around you like, yeah, girl,
you're famous, Like doesn't it feel good to be famous?
And I'm like, no, it fucking sucks, especially if you
don't have the finances to back it up. Being famous
is not a pleasant experience in almost any way, except
(37:55):
for the way that you can help people, right, Nothing
about it is. The plot is great, it's hard to
keep up. You don't feel a sense of like privacy
in public. Okay, it's only nice if you also have money.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
So then, was thirteen going on thirty your first like bait?
Would you consider that your big break?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
How old were you?
Speaker 1 (38:19):
I was eleven when we shot it?
Speaker 2 (38:21):
That is crazy?
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yeah, so your mom obviously was with you on set? Yes? Yeah? Okay?
Speaker 2 (38:27):
And were you intimidated or were you just excited?
Speaker 1 (38:30):
I was so intimidated. Yeah, It's like this whole new world.
None of my family was in the industry. My family
are blue collar workers, like, yeah, so far removed. So
it was very exciting.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
And then after that, were you just like, I do
love this.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
It is what I want to do. I want to
live on set day in and day out. Yes. Yeah,
And I loved the work ethic that it required.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
There is something very magical about a set, it is, right, yeah, yeah,
and every like the actors walking you know, from set
to their trailer with their their sides in their hand
and like crossing things out and talking to the director
like I would like to say it in this soil,
It's like, it's so, it's such a beautiful collaboration. It is,
(39:18):
yeah and so And I've never done anything like you.
But when you got to doing series, was there a
huge difference between filming a film versus a television show.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Yes? For me, yes, the difference between film and TV
is film has an end date, okay, which I really love.
You know where the stories go, you know the whole story. Yeah,
you know your character arc. Some TV shows that are
also pre written as well, but film has an end date.
It's almost like life really only has so much meaning
(39:57):
because you know it's gonna end. Yeah, makes it really beautiful,
like it's finite and a TV show could go on forever, right,
could keep going. And I have so much respect for
the people who end up on shows for like ten
years whatever. But often it cultivates this feeling of like
(40:18):
people just get tired. They get burnt out, Like it's
you know, if you live for two thousand years, at
some point you'd be like.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I'm tired, right, I'm just tired.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
You know, I've seen it all, I done it all.
Where else can we go with this? So TV can
be a bit like it's work, you know, and it's
there's there's not always a finite end date for some shows, yes,
but I like the finite experience of doing a film.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
So remind me, how did you die in Revenge?
Speaker 1 (40:50):
She was sent to rehub? Was that like your final
and then she came back? No, she didn't die, but.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
You were sent somewhere. You were sent to rehab.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
She was sent to rehub. Yes, but was your story finished? No?
She came back for the last episode. Yeah, Charlotte kind
of wrapped the whole thing up. Charlotte was like a
secret little mastermind on that show.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Yeah, she brought county energy and I loved it.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
I loved it.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
She was fantastic, just the way that she would maneuver
and just like that, that like East Coast wealth. I
just anytime it's a part of a television show, I
eat that shit up.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
It's so good.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
I'm actually gonna watch that tonight.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Where are you from Salt Lake City, Utah? Oh that's right? Yeah, yeah,
So have you spent much time on the East Coast?
Speaker 2 (41:42):
I mean just like going out to New York and
doing like little gigs. But I mean I've never been
to the Hampton.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Neither have I?
Speaker 2 (41:48):
How wild is that?
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yes, let's go take me somewhere cool, ala on, Krista,
take the Hampton please.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
I don't know why I've never, like why we never
traveled there. It was always like, you know, I tend
to gravitate towards like warm, cozy beaches.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Yeah, not tropical.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Take me somewhere where it's like swimsuits, tanskit not like
the linens and flowy dresses. But now as I'm getting older,
I'm like, I want the booge I want the bouginess. Yes,
do you think the comfort? The comfort? I want? Like
the Hampton's looking home and I want you to take
me to like a crab bake or whatever the fuck
those things are I'm talking about, or a clam bake,
(42:31):
clam bake, clam bake, crab bake.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
We would always use that. There was an episode of
Revenge where we did a clam bake and for some reason,
it was such a hard episode to shoot, like things
were just like dragging on it. Nothing was working, and
we'd be like, clam bake, and then that became the
joke for the rest of the series. You'd be like,
clam bake anytime something wasn't working, clam bake.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Love it. Love the inside jokes that develop on said,
it's so fun. I do want to talk to you
about this musical porv. Yes, so how did you have
you always been into like the theater?
Speaker 1 (43:10):
I love music, okay, all music. Yes, I'm very into
sound healing and I think the future of medicine is
in frequency and vibration. And I don't know if you've
seen the videos in India where they like heal people's
broken bones with sound and the whole future of healing
(43:30):
is going towards frequency. Okay, anyway, that is side obviously,
I just love music. Who doesn't? But I had my
former fiance was a music producer. Okay, so it was
the perfect opportunity to realize my long held dreams of
being in a band. So we had a little band.
Are you joking?
Speaker 2 (43:49):
No, you're in a band?
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Well yeah, it doesn't exist to me longer a bit.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
But you what did you do in the band?
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Instruments? Vocals? So we wrote the songs and I sang
them and he produces the music. Wow?
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Are you still in communication with him? Like you stayed friends?
We have stayed friends. We have stayed friends this whole time.
He recently got engaged again.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
So okay, boundary, Yeah, it's boundary, but but yeah, so
much love for him.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Who is your favorite musician? Would you say? Ooh?
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Immediately Bowie comes to mind. I don't know why that,
prince like, I just love I love musicians who use
their music to convey something like deeper you know, yeah,
I totally get that.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
I have to say right now, I'm really bumping Cardi
B's new album. Yes, I cannot check enough. She has
this song with Lizzo and Lizzo's part is I do
think I'm a nut? Four non blondes.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
What's up? Okay? And it is just it, it's just
so Ship, and I can't say nothing, Hannah, motherfucker tell me,
and then you have to sing that part.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
I only know the rise sometimes when a line in bit,
just to get it all out, what was in my head?
And I I'm feeling a little pecuio. So give in
the morning and step outside and I take a deep breath.
Then I get really and I screamed from the top
(45:34):
of my muse what's going on? Oh my god, we're
so fucking good. We have to karaoke together? Please and Ship,
I'm so horny.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Now are we falling in love? Yes?
Speaker 2 (45:50):
I love this.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Wait, what's your go to karaoke song?
Speaker 2 (45:54):
What's up? Is my go to karaoke song? However, I've
been working with my like his name's Jared. He's big
and gay and fabulous, and we're going to perform shallow.
We're working on it. We're working on it. I will
not give you a preview because we're not quite there.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Okay, later when the cameras later, when.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
The cameras at out. But I'm totally inviting you because
I love the moment we just share. I don't know
what it sounds like, but my cup is full. So
I want to know when you heard that you were
going to portray the Jennifer Garner, what did you experience
when you got the call?
Speaker 1 (46:31):
I screamed and ran around the house. And I don't
think I've ever been so excited or grateful in my
life really. Yeah, but it also, you know, everything felt
so right. You're super spiritually, and you'll understand, like I
think that everything that happens in our lives is supposed to,
(46:55):
like anything that is meant for you will be for you,
and there's nothing you can do stop it, and if
it's not for you, there's nothing you can do to
make it be yours. Yeah, So I don't know, it
just it felt so right. Yeah, I'm so grateful for
the projects I've been able to be a part of
because they feel right for me totally, And even in
the periods like I've had obviously long periods where I
(47:16):
haven't worked, and it feels like that's part of the
story too. I know I will again and I'm not worried.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
I always say, I feel like our stories were written
in the Star as well before we even arrived, Like
there was a plan and even when something doesn't make sense,
and I also follow it up with this maybe something
that I just tell myself to make myself feel better
about the circumstances. And I believe that rejection is God's protection.
(47:46):
I learned from her. Name's Amber. She's like my sister wife.
We share a baby daddy. But she said I don't
want anything that's not mine, And I was like that,
just you can want something so badly and if it
doesn't happen for you, you have to just know it's
not it's not yours. How can you want something that
isn't supposed to be yours?
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Right? And you may get it, even you could, you
could strong arm your way into getting it, but it
won't be blessed. No.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
And I love that you said that, because when I
continue to fight for something and i'm I continue to
be blocked, I take a step back and I say,
I'm not fighting for this anymore. Yeah, because there is
a reason, and my higher power is showing me over
and over again that it's not meant to be. And
if I continue fighting for it, I will get it.
And it's going to go to shit, Yeah, it will.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
It will almost punish you yes, like you wanted it
have it here?
Speaker 2 (48:39):
You go like I did everything I could possibly do
to show you that this is not right. Yes, and
you continue to go against me. Yes, we are so
in sync. Dude. I can't even tell you what was
your relationship like with I feel like I can't call
her jen Jennifer Garter on each of like on the set,
was it like I just I feel just knowing myself
(49:02):
at eleven, the age that you were when you were there,
just intimidated by life. I have to imagine you were
way more confident.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
But what was she like to you? I was, Yeah,
I was nervous, but I've also just always been very
like bubbly, so which.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Is perfect because I feel like every time I see
Jennifer Garner trying to give me a capital one card,
I'm like, I'm getting it.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
She's so bubbly and that's really who she is. And
and you know, my experience of her was so beautiful.
She was such a great mentor to me. She was
so she understood that I was a baby and I
need I need a guidance, you know, and she really
(49:48):
we didn't spend a whole lot of time on set
together because we were playing the same character, so we
didn't share scenes, right, but the interactions we did have,
she was so beautifully just helpful and warm and support Yeah.
And to this day, I don't experience a whole lot
of that in the industry, even people who are like
very close friends, like when it comes down to it,
they don't actually support you, they will turn the other cheek.
(50:12):
But with her, there was a warmth and a guidance.
And I just hope to also be that to women.
And Jennifer Garner really had a way of like just
being kind and warm and welcoming and helpful no matter
what the situation was.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
Have you been on set with younger children where you've
kind of taken on how she treated you when you
were in that situation.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
Thank you for Yeah, yeah, you tied that together beautifully. Yeah.
So yes, and that's what I want to how I
want to show up for women now.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
In other words, yeah, I think sometimes there's like this
tension between people for no reason. Yeah, And if we
all are just a little more mindful and there for
each other and helpful, like we can overcome those situations
and those miscommunications. And she really taught me that and
not even in like a specific thing that she did,
(51:10):
but just her presence.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
The presence, you know, yes, the vibration. Yes, I'm all
about the vibration.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
She's not competitive. You know, women, especially in this industry,
can be very competitive and very petty and spiteful. She's
she's just warm and kind.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
So wild that you say that, because so often as
I'm doing reality TV, I'm like, I should have tried
harder as an actress, because I bet that that industry
they just like uplift each other and it's kind and
nice and they're all about aircraft. You saying that makes
me feel like, oh, it's the same type of reality
that I'm living. That portion just isn't documented.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
Yeah, I shared recently, I started a substack and in
my first post, I shared the experience I had on
a set where we were all the cast was sharing
a small cabin with not secured Wi Fi, and it
resulted in basically somebody hacking into my iCloud and leaking
(52:23):
everything in my eye cloud because there was tension on set.
And that happened when I was in my mid twenties,
and it started this sort of like snowball effect in
my life where like suddenly my nudes were on the internet.
What so all of my boundaries were violated. That floodgate
(52:44):
was open, you know, and not by choice. I am
so sorry so these things, Yeah, it definitely happens a wow,
so it gets dirty.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
Yeah, Oh, I'm so sorry that that happened to you.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Thank you. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
When you think about, like, I go back to me
being in my twenties, and it's like, although I'm not
a baby, when I'm dealing with someone in their twenties,
they're young. Yeah, it's a very vulnerable stage of life
because you're looked at as someone who's supposed to be
an adult, but your frontal love hasn't even fully formed.
It's a lot. I can't even imagine that happening to me,
(53:21):
not by choice.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
All of a sudden, I'm like getting phone calls from
my parents like like that was not me intended.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
Yeah, wow, I do you text or talk to Jen Garner?
Speaker 1 (53:37):
Jen, No, we've never had like a friendship in that
way because we were so young. Yeah, when we met,
I was child and she was an adult. But she
has like very kindly sent me messages for my birth
the thirtieth birthday and things like that. So I love that. Yeah,
she's really lovely and supportive.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
Have you ever heard that they would do a sequel
to thirteen going on thirty?
Speaker 1 (53:58):
Everyone is requesting it, Well they need to do it. Uh.
You know, whoever owns that ip, you're just sitting on
a gold mine there, right, Sony?
Speaker 2 (54:06):
So Mark, is it ruffalo or ruffalo? He doesn't fucking age.
He looks like the same human you can play your boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
But you know what they did do is they made
a musical. They did the musical that's right. Yeah, it
just opened in Manchester in the UK, by the way,
and that also went viral. They posted about the musical
ten million views. Shut the front, this door has endless
guests like people just want to see this story.
Speaker 2 (54:34):
You should be.
Speaker 1 (54:35):
In that girl. I agree, Yeah that was my audition.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
By the way, you have to Okay, so open in Manchester.
That means it's not on Bravo in New York yet? Right?
Speaker 1 (54:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (54:46):
What did I say, brodo Bravo? We know where I am.
It's not on Broadway.
Speaker 1 (54:57):
Broadway.
Speaker 2 (54:58):
I'm like, where am I? It's not on Broadway in
New York yet? So this is me telling Broadway that
you have me.
Speaker 1 (55:09):
I got too Broadway.
Speaker 2 (55:12):
With all of that beauty that you just put out
into the universe. And I really hope that all of
my listeners take that with them today. What is next
for you?
Speaker 1 (55:24):
I'm launching my own podcast yay.
Speaker 2 (55:27):
Yes, yes, amazing.
Speaker 1 (55:30):
What is the podcast called. It's called prey Date Okay.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
I love this and what and what is prey Date about?
Speaker 1 (55:39):
Prey Date is your commitment okay, to yourself and your
connection with the divine. So do you have a co
host on this? Yes? Who's the co host? Victoria Daniel?
Did I meet her at the iHeart Party? You did?
Speaker 2 (55:53):
Ye? I loved her too. I know exactly what you're
talking about. I got her contact. When can we find
your podcast prey Date?
Speaker 1 (56:00):
And where? Prey Date launches on eleven eleven? Oh, one
of my most favorite dates. Yes, I'm credit here. I
love it. Yes, and it'll be everywhere you find your podcast. Perfect.
I'm really excited about that.
Speaker 2 (56:14):
Thank you you guys, I love you so much. Thank
you for listening to another episode of Untraditionally La La.
I'm going to catch you guys on Monday for the
bonus and again next week. Bye.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.