Dr. Trisha Bailey Opens Up & Shares The Struggle Of Revealing Molestation To Her Mother + More
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
I'm Angela Yee.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Jazmine Brand is here with me, and we have doctor
Tricia Bailey here with us today, the author of Unbroken,
which is your memoir. But I mean, I have to
say this because how could I not but the riches
to making born women seven hundred million dollars net worth.
And I'm only saying that because you can google it.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It's public knowledge.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, it's public knowledge.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Does it feel weird to hear her say such big
numbers like that, Well.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
It's actually a billion, but a billion, okay, it does.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
It does.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Okay, it's a billion dollars.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
It does. In the space I'm in, It's it's almost
like surreal, like I function, like, how can a little
girl like me that came from such meager beginnings be
in the space. So but I know why I'm here now.
I'm here to help and to inspire and to elevate
these people who look like me.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
And let me tell you how important that is for
people who are listening, because, like you said, the beginnings
of your life, you know, you actually were born in
to make it. You came to the United States, to Hertford,
Connecticut when you were thirteen years old. Thirteen is that correct. Okay,
So what kind of major change? And I know I've
read the book, but in case people haven't, what was
that like for you? Just that huge shock from coming
(01:12):
from Jamaica where you felt very loved, even though you
may not have had a lot of financial blessings at
the time, coming to the United States. But people look
at that it's like, this is the dream to come
to the United States and we're going to be successful
and happy.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
What was that culture shock like for you?
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Oh? Wow, it was a ginormous culture shock. You know.
When I was growing up, it's we were just happy
kids and we didn't we didn't even know we were poor,
Like I didn't know we're poor, because it was like
we were surrounded by some beautiful love from my grandmother,
my aunt, her husband, my cousins were there. And then
when I came, they told us that the rules were
paid with Goal in America.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
So you know, I l meant, dog shit, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Land in JFK. And we were like my sister and
I looking out like, okay, this stinks. Where's the goal?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
They fixed the airport, yes.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
And so in my second day here in the United States,
I wanted to walk because We walked through and a
half miles of school in Jamaica, and walking and running
was just a natural thing that we did. So I
wanted to walk to school in Hartford. And so the
second day I got lost. I got out of school
at one fifteen and I didn't get back to the
house until nine, ten o'clock at night.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Oh no, on the second day, can you imagine what
that's like.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
And I'm walking and I saw this man and I said,
you know, I asked him, you know, can he help me?
He first, the first one put me on the bus
and he was supposed to bring me to Laurel Street,
but they dropped me off of Laurence Street.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
She had a bit of a patois at of course.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Of course, so after I got off that, after I
got off the bus and I'm like, I'm still lost.
I don't know where I'm going. And I saw another
man and I asked him and he walked me to
the apartment building that I was living.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
So it sounds so dangerous by the way, like, yeah,
if you would.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Have known, right, But it's coming from such being innocent,
like the community raised you in the small town of Woodland.
And that first night was the first night I experienced
the worst thing that can happen to a child. When
I came home, my mom said, go kiss your father
good night, and what he did there after was beyond atrocious.
(03:19):
So I don't want to give away with the book
for anyone, but.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
It was the start father too, not sure my stepfather.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
It was a start of my nightmare, right.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
And the book really does start off with that, And
so it was even hard for me because I had
already met you when I read the book to read
that because the fact that as a child you could
be so unprotected in your own home, and I'm sure
people who are listening can have some type of idea,
and you know about this book is that you definitely
(03:48):
did not hold back. You know, it was a lot
of really graphic details that were hard to read.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
But it also I.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Think can be very necessary for people to understand the
trauma that can come with something like that, like talk
to me about that and deciding what to put in
and why so detailed and why that was important for you.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
So that was intentional because when I was going through
my nightmare, I read Oprah Winfrey's autobiography and she had
went through similar or the same trauma that I went through.
And when I saw that she was able to overcome
because at this point she's on TV and I saw her,
I'm like, oh, well, if she can overcome this, I
can also overcome this. And so when I started writing
(04:29):
the book, I wanted to make sure that whoever in
the world that is healed from trauma or is maybe
going through trauma or looking for the signs of what
that looks those predators look like, they will be able
to see it in my book, so that hopefully it
can save at least one person. If I have saved
one person from experiencing this life or healing themselves, I
(04:50):
have done my work. And I have because my job
is truly to help others. That's why I wrote the book,
is to help people not only to overcome the trauma
and have the resilience that and mental fortitude that they need,
but also to show them how what it looks like
to build themselves from ground zero to in the space
that I'm in right now.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
In the book, you have lots of those moments of
where you're bearing or soul, you're being super transparent, were
you was there one instance in particular, I guess you don't.
I don't want to want you to go too far
into because you don't want to ruin the book. But
was there one situation where you're like, maybe that's a
little bit too much to share, or you know, at
the beginning of writing, it's like, I'm just gonna tell everything.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
No, there were actively two. There are two incidents. So
the two of them were and I could I usually
talk about those two, one of which was I didn't qualify.
My SAT scores wasn't high high enough to get into
yukon Oka, and yukon't end up giving me an opportunity anyways,
even though my SAT scores didn't qualify, and I was
just like, I'm doctor Tricia Bailey. I can't let them
(05:49):
know that at my SAT scores, I wasn't smart enough
to get this core to get into school. But then
I was talking to my good friend C. K. Mofford,
who was a writer of the book, and he said,
I said, I have a secret, and he says, your
secrets are never secrets. Is the big ones you tell everyone,
but the small ones you are like their secrets. So
I told him and he said, girl, stop right now.
(06:11):
So I decided I was going to go ahead and
put that in the book, because you know there's some
young women or young men who are maybe struggling or
can't get the standardized tests at the score that they need,
and they feel like that they cannot become extremely successful
like I am. So that was one and the second
one was a suicide attempt because all the other things
(06:31):
that happened to me, someone did it to me. So
these two things, the things that I could not do,
I had. I went in the dark space that I
felt like I couldn't come out of it. But then again,
I said, you know what, I don't want another person,
a single person, to ever be in this dark space
that I was, So if they see that I'm able
to overcome, maybe they also truly can also overcome. So
(06:56):
and when I've.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Read about that suicide attempt, I thought that, you know
the manual, I thought he did something to you when
I was reading it, because I you know, you ended
up in a coma and I know you've discussed that
before and a lot of things you didn't remember.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So then I was like, is that what really happened?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Or did somebody do because like you said, you know
a lot of things were happening and so I just
I don't know. For some reason, you talk about the
strength and the resilience that you've had, but that's just
sometimes it's a breakdown.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Yeah, sometimes a breakdown. Sometimes you get that place that
you're like, I just can't, I just can't anymore. And
I really hope that whomever read my book right will
know that they actually can, that there's always light no
matter what the circumstances in life. Just give us time,
just give it a little bit of time, and they
will be able to start seeing their.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Like no, Doctor Chisha Bailey, I want to ask you
this because as a young girl, you were very unprotected.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Even your mom.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
You did attempt to tell her what was happening in
the house with your step and she told.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
You that you were a liar. Right have you ever
after that?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
You've never had a conversation with her about any of
what transpired and if she because there's no way, like
you said, that, somebody could not have known in that
house what was going on.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
So I struggled with that. I struggle with that a lot.
And because whether she knew or not know, I don't
I still don't know the answer.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
You did tell her so.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
So well I told her later on, So I had
all the memories of how I was going to tell her,
and I told her later on when I was about
twenty five, but she didn't know the full details. She
found out the full details the same time everyone did
in the book.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Hmmm, and what did she say?
Speaker 4 (08:42):
We never talked about it, really.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
So how did you know that she because she.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Read the book. She read the book? Oh interesting, Wow,
do you.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Want to talk to her? Do you feel like you
will at some point?
Speaker 4 (08:56):
You know that that's a really good question. I'm not
sure because I have moved to the place of complete
forgiveness for everyone who has not supported me when they
were supposed to support me, who have not loved me
when they were supposed to love me, And we're in
a really good space right now. My mom and I
and I don't even she's not she's a Caribbean woman.
They don't like to talk.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
About those heads because you know, I would her reaction
when reading that, I'm sure for her that's also she's
a Caribbean woman, and that's not something that normally would
be shared. You know, culturally, we don't talk about those things.
And it's really just about like keep your head down,
keep moving, keep working, do what you need to do,
get ahead.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Now you're successful. And so it's kind of.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Like everybody feels like they did what they were supposed
to do. But I just feel like, even coming from
a place that you've forgiven, that's even a better time
to find out.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Yeah, and you know, I think my mom also had
her own traumas.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
And we don't even know what that.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
I don't know what those are. And my job her
life is to love her and to care for her.
Whether it's if she wants to stay silent in the situation,
I'll allow her to stay silent because maybe that is
the way she heals herself if she wants to have
an open conversation to My sister is an open conversation type,
so she's like, let's talk about this, let's go to therapy together,
(10:18):
and I'm like, let me allow you to heal how
you need to heal. And so that's that kind of
the space that my mom and I function, and we
still haven't talked about it.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I was just here, we might be able to set
something up.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Can you that conversation, I don't know, it could be
it could you never know what kind of door something
like that could break down and barriers.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I feel like it could be helpful for other people
as well, for sure. Yeah, having really hard conversations with
your mom or somebody close to you.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Yeah, I see. Here's the thing though, See, I have
gone through my process of therapy, right, so I have
healed my wounds and my scars. My mom has not
gone through that. So when you have not gone through
it and you need to talk about it, and let's
say that you blame yourself for it, I think someone
who's a real professional, real therapist, trained professional will have
(11:10):
to be involved because there are certain emotions that she
will more likely not feel. That for me, I don't
really feel much anymore because I have dealt with my
traumas and I don't know if she's willing to go
through that pain. And I don't know if I'm willing
to let her go through that.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
So we'll stop pushing you.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Yeah, okay, Well I have a question.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yeah, I was just asking ahead.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
I have a question. How did you tell your kids
that you were going to write this book and did
you talk to them, you know, about what moments you
were going to share or because this is a lot.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
You know, like your mom found out certain things. Your
kids may have also found out certain things from reading
this book, or or did they have advanced noticed had
you been having those lines of communication open.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
So I talked to my kids very openly. So I
believe that you should not conceal too much from the
children where you shelter them so much, or you should
and give them too much because then you traumatize them.
So there's a balance balance, right, so they're exposed just
enough but not too much. My oldest biological Natalia, she
she started reading the first two pages. She's like, Mom,
(12:12):
I can't do this. Yeah, and I respect that, but
she's the only age child that I have that I
would actually allow to read my book. My oldest twenty
five year old adopted child, she read it. So she
saw that we talked about it, and she had she
didn't have a lot of questions, okay, but she was like, oh,
(12:33):
just like everyone, Yes, I.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Have so much more respect for you now that was
the voice.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
What about the men in your life?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Are you in contact with any of them that you
wrote about in this book, because there was some you know,
domestic violence situations that were really really traumatic.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Yeah, I am actually am everyone says, how are you
so nice to these people? That's just who I am.
I'm in touch with my my ex husband. He's an
amazing father. Him as a man.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Huh, you know is that Kingsley?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
No, Kingsley is my first husband. Okay, he's a good man,
and I'm still friends with him because I changed the
names of the characters.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Okay, protect.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Ricardo and I have a good co parenting relationship where
it's positive. It's positive for my son because my son
doesn't need to experience my pain and I want to
raise him in an environment that he doesn't see his
mom and dad bickering at each other, right, And because.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Of that, I have chosen to that's how for people.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
I have chosen to make sure that he never experiences
that with us. And so now we just talk about
him and he's a great father, So I have to
give him his credit for that. Now, him being a
husband to me wasn't was not the case at all.
I'm in touch with what is his name, Devin?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
About Devin for a second.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
At the time he ended up putting his car, he
puts his car on your insurance, right, so now you're
paying for his insurance while you're in the hospital, he
calls you and asked you who is your insurance provider?
While you are in the hospital, you know, having contractions,
and then you end up paying for that.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
He turns out he has a whole other.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Woman six months pregnant while you're in the hospital giving birth.
He just did not participate. Then he ends up going
to jail. Right now, what would you do in that situation, Jasmine.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I wouldn't deal with him anymore. I would leave him.
I wouldn't talk to him anymore.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
That's it. Now, What did you do, doctor Trishabilly?
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Not that, not that, not that.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
The family, by the way, were very nasty to her,
cut her off right, had nothing to do with her, had
the other woman living with them?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
The nerve this with the six month though, but go ahead.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Yeah, I end up paying for his legal fees. He
still end up going You.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Have all the blessings, though, I want to say, like
reading this, I realized that that compassionate because you felt
you felt like we have a child, we have a son,
and I don't want to leave him there.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
I didn't want my son father to be in prison.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
And that is really like the ultimate of I want
to make sure that my son is good, So regardless
of how this man treated me, I care about my
son more than I care about my feelings about this person.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
That's a hard space for people to get.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
Into, and that's where I am. I'm like that with
all of them, and now my children. I allow them
to decide whether or not they want to be in
their father's life. It's not my choice, right because I'm
always going to be kind and loving because I am
like that with everyone, even if you hurt me. That's
why I have the ability to love the next person
equally as much if it come from I think that's
(15:43):
just a gift, truly, because I literally give myself forty
eight hours that I am not captain on no level.
Forty eight hours, I will cry, I'll sulk, and the
next day I'm like, ah, you know, okay, all right,
I'm good.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
To do it.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I'm good now.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
So you give yourself to days two days, okay?
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Yeah? And I don't. I don't live in there. I
say that I experienced the pain, but I will not
live in the pain.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
What tep of therapy have you gone through?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
So I did ten years of talk therapy and that
helps somewhat because it helped you to process your boundaries
and be able to engage with different people. But then
I discovered EMDR therapy, which is a non talk therapy
which is specialized in trauma. And what it does. It
basically allows you to to traumas are in your subconscious
(16:26):
like ice cubes and a normal memory you walking down
the street. That's why you won't remember it ten years later,
but a trauma, you're going to remember exactly what happened to,
all the details. What it does. What EMDR does is
melt all those memories so that it's a normal memory
and so that the trauma is not affecting you. That's
why I'm able to talk about it freely now and
(16:47):
able to go through the stories without actually feeling broken,
without feeling as though I need you know I need
help because I did a session of the EMDR therapy.
So I add a KY so much for this. So
if any of you are out there, who needs who
needs some trauma therapy? E m d R E m
(17:08):
d R eight sessions is not a lot, No, it's
not a lot. Now it's painful because you literally I
want to go back, but you should because once you
so it's picture yourself in the room. You go in
the room, it's completely dark and you only have a flashlight.
The only light you see is the little flashlight that's
a person with trauma. After you have processed it and
deal with it, like through em d R, now you
(17:30):
turn the entire light switch on and your entire world
is lit. And so now like I am truly at
the happiest place I've ever been in my life.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Right that billion dallas don't help, don't hurt.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
It doesn't money, but you know that I that out there.
It doesn't. But you know that money money does many
money really does. Is not happiness, no experience of it.
So what happened after I did the em DR. I
was a just started dating normally. So because I started
dating normally, I met the most amazing man I've ever
(18:05):
met in my life. I've met him five years ago,
ten years ago. The relationship will not work.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, too much going on.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
You think you would have been able to write this
book without AMDR therapy, No.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
No, not at all. I don't believe. I don't. I
could have write the book, but I wouldn't be able
to talk about the way that I do. I wouldn't
be able to extend the healing that I believe is
my calling and the help that I truly need to
give to the world. I wouldn't be able to do that.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Is this some a therapy expensive?
Speaker 4 (18:30):
No, it's like mine was one hundred and seventy dollars
a session.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Oh my session is now fifty.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Yeah, you can do it all this more, come out.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'll give you the twenty dollars.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
All right, now, let's get back.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Let's talk about some money talk too, all right, because
you're definitely an entrepreneur and somebody that we should look to.
Because I love the fact that you know, being in
the space that you're in, you've been able to just say, okay,
let me try this, let me do this, and it's
really worked for you.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
But you've also laid down the groundwork.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
You're very intelligent, and you have been from a young age,
even in the midst of having to go through so
many different things, moving to Hartford kind of not even
you know, being bullied as a kid growing up, but
still being and like you said, not scoring very high
on your SATs.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
But at the same time, some people just.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Aren't good at test taking, and I feel like they've
shown in many different instances how those standardized tests can
be biased, you know, culturally. So sometimes it's not that
you're not smart, it's just that that test is not,
you know, aligned with the way that we learn. And
so you ended up getting a scholarship right to go
(19:41):
to Yukon. You wanted to go to Morgan State. Jasmine
went to Morgan State. Yeah, so she's kind.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Of all the wrong reasons. I wanted to go to
Morgan State. Your mom said no, She was like, now
you're not going there, but.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
She was okay with you going to Yukon.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
So discuss the path of you going from high school
in Hartford to going to Yukon.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
So Yukon was so I was recruited by every Division
I school in the country for track, for track, and
you know, I went to my recruit trip with Yukon.
I was like, I'm not going here. My friend, my
good friend Ray Allen was one of my hosts at
the time. I went to Morgan State for one of
the recruit trips. I see all the cues and they
were dancing and doing all they do what they do.
(20:21):
I'm like, okay, I'm coming here. So Yukon accidently ended
up taking a chance on me. And you know, one
of the reason I ended up going back and doing
a huge, large donation to the university because.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
The largest donation they've ever gotten.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I know, I saw that.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Okay, go ahead, And the reason why I did that
is because from a young girl from urban Hartford that
most people would count out. Most people did count me out.
They took a chance on me. And because they took
a chance on me, it was the start of my
level my life, a successful life. And so that's the
reason why I went back and did a donation. So
it's pretty much changed my life. It's changed my life
(20:58):
for the positive and to be in the space where
I am now and then.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Just even for you going on the path that you
are now.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
So first when you get out, you at some point
you were a stockbroker, yes, right, and so that's not
an easy space to be in, and especially being.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Like a black woman and a woman too.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, a woman and a black woman as a stockbroker.
What was that experience like for you, because there were
a lot of times you were in those spaces where
you were certainly the only one or one of few.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Yeah, so you kind of kind of set me up
for that role So that's the other part, you know,
loving the university in my alma mater, when you are
an athlete at University of Connecticut, because you know it's
the only there's no professional sports in Connecticut. So when
you're an athlete at Yukon, usually jobs will give you
an interview and it's your responsibility to actively sell them,
to sell them to this place. So I became the
(21:48):
youngest stockbroker in the history of the company, twenty two
years old, and I was the only black woman in
the New England for Smith Barney. And I knew that
I belong so a lot of people at me. So
when you're the only one there, how do you function?
How do you navigate? I always knew I belong and
being belonging there, I have to make sure that I'm
(22:09):
better than every single person that's there. So I gave
it everything that I had. I was in the I
was always the first in the office at six am
most nights. I didn't leave until eleven o'clock at night.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
What kind of life did you have outside of it?
Speaker 4 (22:21):
None?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
None, none, And that I always look at that as
like we've seen like the Wolf of Wall Street and
just the.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Environment to be in what was that environment.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Like as far as like, because I always look at stockbrokers,
it's like the crazy partiers doing all kinds of cocaine
and stuff.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Yeah, it is. It is that life. I remember back
that when I saw always joke and says, you know
the man they are it is either this person's on
coke or this person is on this drugs or doing
this drugs. And they will say to me, so what
are you. I was like, well, I'm the man euser.
So rug that was my drug. But if you when
(22:58):
you see people who don't look like you and you're
adapting to the environment, For me, I had to because
that's all I knew. All I knew was to work.
When I watched my grandmother walk twenty five miles to
the market and sell the produce and walk back twenty
five miles every Thursday, is like, it give you a
kind of level of work ethic that and tenacity and
(23:19):
the ability to overcome that you can't even imagine, right,
And so I knew that my responsibility is to be
the absolute best. And because I'm obsessed with finishing and
I'm obsessed with being successful in the process. My sister
tells me that my superpowers. I'm fast. I'm fast with
everything I do.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Running, learning, okay.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
And then eventually you left there, and then you ended
up getting into the pharmaceutical business. So talk about that
because that has been highly lucrative for you.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Oh yes, So when I left, when I left being
a broker, I knew that. At this point, I'm like,
they give you the clients because the hardest part in
being a stock broke is fine and the clients we
have money. And when I realized they give you the clients,
I'm like, I have all the skills in the world
to be the absolute best. So when I transitioned to
t Cato Pharmaceuticals, I applied the same skills that I
(24:09):
had as a broker. So now I had the discipline
that had the financial literacy. So I started doing my
MBA because the job wasn't enough work for me. So
I hilarious. So I started doing my MBA and the
company was paying for my education.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
You might as well.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
So what I did during that time, because I already
had the financial literacy, I had lots of money saved
them from being a broker. But then I wanted to
continue doing more, so I took my student loans and
I used them to flip houses.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
She sh and then I got she knew to do
all this because you're the first person in your family
to even go.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
To college, right, Yeah, so for you to have all
of this knowledge. And look, it's not that they, like
you said, your grandmother walked twenty five miles to the
supermarket once a week to get food for the whole family,
and to barter and to bring food and to do
all of those things. It's not that people didn't work hard,
but you were able to work hard in a different
type of space.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
Yeah, and smart, very lucratively smart. So that's why I
say save, discipline, save, and then learn financial literacy. That way,
you know how to invest that money. And because I
went from saving and had the discipline, and now I
had the financial literacy because I was taught that from
being a broker, now I'm able to invest in that
own end, the stop market, the real estate market, and
(25:23):
various investments. So I would never recommend if someone taking
their student loans to do investments unless you know really
well to do what you're doing, because that could go
completely side. Yes, you could have it more dead, yeah,
even more dead, and you don't want that. You want
to come out on top.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
And then the entrepreneurship part happened for you.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
And the entrepreneurship happened. So I was I had got
promoted into the second company I was with. I was
finishing my doctorate degree at the time. I had my MBA.
I was number one in the company. I had every
award that they can give out in the company. And
so they promoted me without a formal interview, and they
usually do a formal interview for promotions. And so when
I got to California, they had approved all the things
(26:02):
I could do. When I got to California, my boss
had lunch with me the first day and he looked
at me. He says, oh, I didn't know you're black,
And I said, I said, yeah, I'm black. Yeah, not
thinking anything of it because I mean, why would that
even matter?
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Right?
Speaker 4 (26:17):
And a week later he started disapproving. Everything that was
previously approved still happened. And at that point, Devin, the
character in the book Devon, he said to me, why
are you working for someone? You have all these degrees?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Right.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
See, he may have been useless in other ways, but
he was useful. Yeah, and you took that.
Speaker 4 (26:35):
And I tooke it and I take it and ran
with it. And I started my first company, which was a
medical recruiting company, and it became extremely successful in the
first six months. I mean I literally worked my tail off.
I was maybe three four hours maximum sleep. I was
working because I was on the West coast, so I
will get up at five am, known as eight o'clock
on the East coast, and I'll work until one o'clock
(26:56):
in the morning. And I was back at it again
at five am every and you had.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Your daughter with you this whole time too.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Sometimes people who you know moms feel like they can't
fathom how can they manage to do this? How did
you manage to do that having a young daughter and
then you had a son.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Yeah, so this time I did not have my son.
I just had my daughter. But she was on my
hip everywhere I go, so everything I was doing sometimes
i'll have her. I mean I remember breastfeeding, putting my
makeup on, whatever it is I needs to get done,
I was doing it.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
When did you ever feel bad?
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Because I know Jazmine, she has a two year old,
and sometimes she feels guilty, like even if she's gone
for the day, she feels. So I'm like Jazmine, yeah,
you know, because it is a difficult thing to.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
Know, I have to I never felt guilty. I'm sorry,
you go.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
I didn't feel guilty because she was with me so
much and everything I did, I always had her with them.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
She's with them. That's why she don't feel guilty. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:51):
So I always had her with me, so I had
we were it was just us. It was me and her,
like you know. And so I didn't end up feeling
the guilt because I knew she was learning. So because
I will see her, she has her little computer and
she's like this, I'm there. And then she was like
so she was. She was mimicking everything that I did.
But I didn't know if I was being a good mom.
(28:12):
But that I questioned, I was like, am I being
a good mom? I don't know if I'm doing this right.
But now that I see my baby, oh my god,
she's just kind of complete joy. She's graduating next year
from University of Florida, Okay, and she is an artist
and she's just blooming. And I'm like, I was a
(28:32):
good mom. I want good mom. I did it right.
I'm surprised, but I did.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Look, I also want to talk about your investments too. Now,
let's talk about your investments in some of these sports
teams because people may not know about this. So how
did this even come about?
Speaker 4 (28:48):
So it's basically you have to be invited into being
a minority owner for vera sports team. And so there's
a group basically like private equity group that comes together
invite you in to be one of the investment. So
that's how So I can't walk in these arenas and
be like, oh, I own your team?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
You can't, right, But but you can't put in the bio.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Let's see what are the teams sold on?
Speaker 4 (29:10):
Because I had a list a few of them, right, Yes,
the Charlotte Hornets, the Atlanta team, Atlanta Hawks, and Seattle.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Do you go to the games? Do you have a
team you likes that I do?
Speaker 4 (29:22):
I actually go to Magic that so I have four
seats in the in the Magic Game, and I sometimes
forget that I'm not supposed to cheer for the Magic
so I'm supposed to cheering from my team. I'm like,
I'm trying to. I'm charing against my own self interest here, But.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Hey, you know, if they gave you the floor sea.
You would be chearing there too, right, okay, right, But
when it comes to your book, Unbroken, what are some
things that you've heard from people? First, I want to
ask you what you've heard that people have taken from it,
and then I want to know what you yourself got
from writing this.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
So what people have been the consensus. They say that
I help them to share their own trauma and to
go get help. Yesterday I met a young man at
Yukon and he was just so excited. I was like,
I thought that. I was like, who are you so
excited about? And he said that he started EMDR therapy
and he said he has never been in a happier
(30:15):
place he has ever been in his life.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
That's great. We might got to try this.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
I think I got to.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah, I thought it was like tens thousands of dollars.
She said, one's seventy her session with Okay, go ahead, we.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Got one seventy and so consensus across the board. People
tell me you have helped me heal. You've given me
the energy of healing. You allow me to see that
I can overcome my struggles and I can also let
go and forgive. They also tell me that they have
also seen. I have had one story, actually a few stories,
(30:46):
and said, I was so inspired. I wanted to buy
a building. But I don't know what to do with
a building, but I just need to know I want
to buy a building. And I thought that was so
across the board. Is either there inspired, they are empathetical,
or it is helping them with their own personal lives
and their own personal trauma to share it and to
have the necessary conversations to be able to overcome.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
And what did you get?
Speaker 4 (31:10):
What did I get? I get to know that I
am doing my calling, I am living in my purpose
in helping others. So when I hear stories like these,
it refuels me because I know the reason why I
wrote it. I wrote it so and I was raw
because I wanted each person who is experiencing any of
these things or a combination of these things, to be
able to know that they can truly be successful in
(31:32):
their endeavors and they can overcome and they can see
their light at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Do you think that you know earlier you made a
joke about being a manizer, And do you feel like
you were looking for love, like to be loved or
things that were lacking in your household.
Speaker 4 (31:49):
Oh yes, oh yes, Because the thing is, like, you know,
when you're a traumatized person, all you want is to
be loved. That void of whatever was stolen from you
that you weren't cared for and loved. That's all you're
looking for. So I've always been like this hopeless romantic.
I pour my whole self into every relationship, not just males,
females and friends as well. And I was searching for
(32:13):
that person who I can give everything to the way
I give my business and my business gives it back
to me. I was looking for that person to be
able to pour my whole self into and they mirrors
me and give it back to me. And I finally
now I'm at that stage where actually I have that.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
So are you you're married now or engaged?
Speaker 4 (32:33):
I'm not married or engaged.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Okay, I don't know. You know what I'm saying. I
had to ask. It's a life partnership ring Okay, life partnership.
I'm with that. Is it hard though? For you today?
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Just knowing that, like somebody could google you and see
you're worth a billion dollars, you know, I said, seven
hundred million, a billion whatever, But is that hard to
know that, Like somebody can look it up and be like, Okay,
she's beautiful, but she also got that cash.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
She lit.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
So yes, yes, yes, And I thank god I'm not
happening to date now because because it was a problem, right,
But most people didn't know who I was, and I
became public when I did a donation to Yukon, not
for my my doing. As a matter of fact, I
told him to keep it private.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
And we don't know what then is we don't know about.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
They already disclosed it. So how much it's fifteen million? Okay?
So I wanted to kind of stay under the radar
because I've always just kind of kept my head down
and the public doesn't know who I am, and then
I became public. So I met him very early on
in the stage of of of when I became public.
But he also is the same as me. He's equally
(33:42):
financially open and he's equally successful people. Yeah, imagine it fits.
And his family is just like mine.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
I love that for you, thank you, thank you for
me too. I love it well, doctor Tricia Bailey. I'm
broken it's available now, and I tell you, guys, like,
you have to read this book and it's going to
put you through some things.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
You know.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
But I also feel like we love the fact that
we can see you sitting here and know how the
story ends, you know, up until now, I feel like
there will be another book that's going to be like.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Or maybe we'll see this on the big screen or
the small screen one day. I feel like it's definitely,
it's definitely worth it.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
I've been I've been hearing so many pretty much everyone else.
Everyone read the book.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
They will play you as a youngster, Hailey Bailey.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
You know, I was thinking, like, not just depend on
what age. I was thinking like a Tiana Taylor. I
was thinking, I think would be good.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I think it's gotta it could be even somebody. But
I feel like we need a track star, like a
young Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
It's somebody we don't know. Let's let's you know, cast
something we do some some new fresh.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Anybody who feels like thing that definitely can be done.
I know you're working on documentary now.
Speaker 4 (35:04):
Yes Innovations in Connecticut. So I was one of the
four most successful people who graduated from Yukon. So they're
doing a documentary now and it's filmed yesterdays and it
was pretty interesting. I had to go back to the
apartment that I came to when I started.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
A Nightmary, how did that fail?
Speaker 4 (35:22):
You know, I didn't know I was going to start
crying on camera, but I did so in the morning,
I said, well, I guess it's a test to see
how heal I am. But it doesn't necessarily mean I'm
not healed. But because you know, the memory is still there,
it's just not it doesn't affect me the same way
that it used to affect me. So I started the
story and the experiences of walking home from school and
crying when I'm walking home from school because I was
(35:43):
so afraid to be home. And then we went to
the next apartment where you know, the worst thing that
can ever happen to a child will happened. And then
I transitioned to my high school on the track, and
then I found my happy place again.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Yes really right, and not just running but running and
winning like winning running to success. Well again, thank you
so much, and we're definitely going to stay in contact.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
I told her.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I went to Wesleyan, so that wasn't that far from Yukon.
So we had some fun conversations about that.
Speaker 4 (36:16):
But yeah, that was cool.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
I'm like, good, well, look we got our rich friend.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
But honestly, it is a pleasure to be able to
talk to you. And you are definitely a role model
for anybody who is watching this to know that you
can make incredible things happen, and you certainly have and
so we appreciate you and we celebrate you and thank
you so much.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Thank you the honor to be here with you.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Guys, it's way yep and Angela ye
I'm Angela Yee.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Jazmine Brand is here with me, and we have doctor
Tricia Bailey here with us today, the author of Unbroken,
which is your memoir. But I mean, I have to
say this because how could I not but the riches
to making born women seven hundred million dollars net worth.
And I'm only saying that because you can google it.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It's public knowledge.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, it's public knowledge.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Does it feel weird to hear her say such big
numbers like that, Well.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
It's actually a billion, but a billion, okay, it does.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
It does.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Okay, it's a billion dollars.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
It does. In the space I'm in, It's it's almost
like surreal, like I function, like, how can a little
girl like me that came from such meager beginnings be
in the space. So but I know why I'm here now.
I'm here to help and to inspire and to elevate
these people who look like me.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
And let me tell you how important that is for
people who are listening, because, like you said, the beginnings
of your life, you know, you actually were born in
to make it. You came to the United States, to Hertford,
Connecticut when you were thirteen years old. Thirteen is that correct. Okay,
So what kind of major change? And I know I've
read the book, but in case people haven't, what was
that like for you? Just that huge shock from coming
(01:12):
from Jamaica where you felt very loved, even though you
may not have had a lot of financial blessings at
the time, coming to the United States. But people look
at that it's like, this is the dream to come
to the United States and we're going to be successful
and happy.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
What was that culture shock like for you?
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Oh? Wow, it was a ginormous culture shock. You know.
When I was growing up, it's we were just happy
kids and we didn't we didn't even know we were poor,
Like I didn't know we're poor, because it was like
we were surrounded by some beautiful love from my grandmother,
my aunt, her husband, my cousins were there. And then
when I came, they told us that the rules were
paid with Goal in America.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
So you know, I l meant, dog shit, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Land in JFK. And we were like my sister and
I looking out like, okay, this stinks. Where's the goal?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
They fixed the airport, yes.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
And so in my second day here in the United States,
I wanted to walk because We walked through and a
half miles of school in Jamaica, and walking and running
was just a natural thing that we did. So I
wanted to walk to school in Hartford. And so the
second day I got lost. I got out of school
at one fifteen and I didn't get back to the
house until nine, ten o'clock at night.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Oh no, on the second day, can you imagine what
that's like.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
And I'm walking and I saw this man and I said,
you know, I asked him, you know, can he help me?
He first, the first one put me on the bus
and he was supposed to bring me to Laurel Street,
but they dropped me off of Laurence Street.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
She had a bit of a patois at of course.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Of course, so after I got off that, after I
got off the bus and I'm like, I'm still lost.
I don't know where I'm going. And I saw another
man and I asked him and he walked me to
the apartment building that I was living.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
So it sounds so dangerous by the way, like, yeah,
if you would.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Have known, right, But it's coming from such being innocent,
like the community raised you in the small town of Woodland.
And that first night was the first night I experienced
the worst thing that can happen to a child. When
I came home, my mom said, go kiss your father
good night, and what he did there after was beyond atrocious.
(03:19):
So I don't want to give away with the book
for anyone, but.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
It was the start father too, not sure my stepfather.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
It was a start of my nightmare, right.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
And the book really does start off with that, And
so it was even hard for me because I had
already met you when I read the book to read
that because the fact that as a child you could
be so unprotected in your own home, and I'm sure
people who are listening can have some type of idea,
and you know about this book is that you definitely
(03:48):
did not hold back. You know, it was a lot
of really graphic details that were hard to read.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
But it also I.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Think can be very necessary for people to understand the
trauma that can come with something like that, like talk
to me about that and deciding what to put in
and why so detailed and why that was important for you.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
So that was intentional because when I was going through
my nightmare, I read Oprah Winfrey's autobiography and she had
went through similar or the same trauma that I went through.
And when I saw that she was able to overcome
because at this point she's on TV and I saw her,
I'm like, oh, well, if she can overcome this, I
can also overcome this. And so when I started writing
(04:29):
the book, I wanted to make sure that whoever in
the world that is healed from trauma or is maybe
going through trauma or looking for the signs of what
that looks those predators look like, they will be able
to see it in my book, so that hopefully it
can save at least one person. If I have saved
one person from experiencing this life or healing themselves, I
(04:50):
have done my work. And I have because my job
is truly to help others. That's why I wrote the book,
is to help people not only to overcome the trauma
and have the resilience that and mental fortitude that they need,
but also to show them how what it looks like
to build themselves from ground zero to in the space
that I'm in right now.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
In the book, you have lots of those moments of
where you're bearing or soul, you're being super transparent, were
you was there one instance in particular, I guess you don't.
I don't want to want you to go too far
into because you don't want to ruin the book. But
was there one situation where you're like, maybe that's a
little bit too much to share, or you know, at
the beginning of writing, it's like, I'm just gonna tell everything.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
No, there were actively two. There are two incidents. So
the two of them were and I could I usually
talk about those two, one of which was I didn't qualify.
My SAT scores wasn't high high enough to get into
yukon Oka, and yukon't end up giving me an opportunity anyways,
even though my SAT scores didn't qualify, and I was
just like, I'm doctor Tricia Bailey. I can't let them
(05:49):
know that at my SAT scores, I wasn't smart enough
to get this core to get into school. But then
I was talking to my good friend C. K. Mofford,
who was a writer of the book, and he said,
I said, I have a secret, and he says, your
secrets are never secrets. Is the big ones you tell everyone,
but the small ones you are like their secrets. So
I told him and he said, girl, stop right now.
(06:11):
So I decided I was going to go ahead and
put that in the book, because you know there's some
young women or young men who are maybe struggling or
can't get the standardized tests at the score that they need,
and they feel like that they cannot become extremely successful
like I am. So that was one and the second
one was a suicide attempt because all the other things
(06:31):
that happened to me, someone did it to me. So
these two things, the things that I could not do,
I had. I went in the dark space that I
felt like I couldn't come out of it. But then again,
I said, you know what, I don't want another person,
a single person, to ever be in this dark space
that I was, So if they see that I'm able
to overcome, maybe they also truly can also overcome. So
(06:56):
and when I've.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Read about that suicide attempt, I thought that, you know
the manual, I thought he did something to you when
I was reading it, because I you know, you ended
up in a coma and I know you've discussed that
before and a lot of things you didn't remember.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So then I was like, is that what really happened?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Or did somebody do because like you said, you know
a lot of things were happening and so I just
I don't know. For some reason, you talk about the
strength and the resilience that you've had, but that's just
sometimes it's a breakdown.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Yeah, sometimes a breakdown. Sometimes you get that place that
you're like, I just can't, I just can't anymore. And
I really hope that whomever read my book right will
know that they actually can, that there's always light no
matter what the circumstances in life. Just give us time,
just give it a little bit of time, and they
will be able to start seeing their.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Like no, Doctor Chisha Bailey, I want to ask you
this because as a young girl, you were very unprotected.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Even your mom.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
You did attempt to tell her what was happening in
the house with your step and she told.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
You that you were a liar. Right have you ever
after that?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
You've never had a conversation with her about any of
what transpired and if she because there's no way, like
you said, that, somebody could not have known in that
house what was going on.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
So I struggled with that. I struggle with that a lot.
And because whether she knew or not know, I don't
I still don't know the answer.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
You did tell her so.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
So well I told her later on, So I had
all the memories of how I was going to tell her,
and I told her later on when I was about
twenty five, but she didn't know the full details. She
found out the full details the same time everyone did
in the book.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Hmmm, and what did she say?
Speaker 4 (08:42):
We never talked about it, really.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
So how did you know that she because she.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Read the book. She read the book? Oh interesting, Wow,
do you.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Want to talk to her? Do you feel like you
will at some point?
Speaker 4 (08:56):
You know that that's a really good question. I'm not
sure because I have moved to the place of complete
forgiveness for everyone who has not supported me when they
were supposed to support me, who have not loved me
when they were supposed to love me, And we're in
a really good space right now. My mom and I
and I don't even she's not she's a Caribbean woman.
They don't like to talk.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
About those heads because you know, I would her reaction
when reading that, I'm sure for her that's also she's
a Caribbean woman, and that's not something that normally would
be shared. You know, culturally, we don't talk about those things.
And it's really just about like keep your head down,
keep moving, keep working, do what you need to do,
get ahead.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Now you're successful. And so it's kind of.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Like everybody feels like they did what they were supposed
to do. But I just feel like, even coming from
a place that you've forgiven, that's even a better time
to find out.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Yeah, and you know, I think my mom also had
her own traumas.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
And we don't even know what that.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
I don't know what those are. And my job her
life is to love her and to care for her.
Whether it's if she wants to stay silent in the situation,
I'll allow her to stay silent because maybe that is
the way she heals herself if she wants to have
an open conversation to My sister is an open conversation type,
so she's like, let's talk about this, let's go to therapy together,
(10:18):
and I'm like, let me allow you to heal how
you need to heal. And so that's that kind of
the space that my mom and I function, and we
still haven't talked about it.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I was just here, we might be able to set
something up.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Can you that conversation, I don't know, it could be
it could you never know what kind of door something
like that could break down and barriers.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I feel like it could be helpful for other people
as well, for sure. Yeah, having really hard conversations with
your mom or somebody close to you.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Yeah, I see. Here's the thing though, See, I have
gone through my process of therapy, right, so I have
healed my wounds and my scars. My mom has not
gone through that. So when you have not gone through
it and you need to talk about it, and let's
say that you blame yourself for it, I think someone
who's a real professional, real therapist, trained professional will have
(11:10):
to be involved because there are certain emotions that she
will more likely not feel. That for me, I don't
really feel much anymore because I have dealt with my
traumas and I don't know if she's willing to go
through that pain. And I don't know if I'm willing
to let her go through that.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
So we'll stop pushing you.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Yeah, okay, Well I have a question.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yeah, I was just asking ahead.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
I have a question. How did you tell your kids
that you were going to write this book and did
you talk to them, you know, about what moments you
were going to share or because this is a lot.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
You know, like your mom found out certain things. Your
kids may have also found out certain things from reading
this book, or or did they have advanced noticed had
you been having those lines of communication open.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
So I talked to my kids very openly. So I
believe that you should not conceal too much from the
children where you shelter them so much, or you should
and give them too much because then you traumatize them.
So there's a balance balance, right, so they're exposed just
enough but not too much. My oldest biological Natalia, she
she started reading the first two pages. She's like, Mom,
(12:12):
I can't do this. Yeah, and I respect that, but
she's the only age child that I have that I
would actually allow to read my book. My oldest twenty
five year old adopted child, she read it. So she
saw that we talked about it, and she had she
didn't have a lot of questions, okay, but she was like, oh,
(12:33):
just like everyone, Yes, I.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Have so much more respect for you now that was
the voice.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
What about the men in your life?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Are you in contact with any of them that you
wrote about in this book, because there was some you know,
domestic violence situations that were really really traumatic.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Yeah, I am actually am everyone says, how are you
so nice to these people? That's just who I am.
I'm in touch with my my ex husband. He's an
amazing father. Him as a man.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Huh, you know is that Kingsley?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
No, Kingsley is my first husband. Okay, he's a good man,
and I'm still friends with him because I changed the
names of the characters.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Okay, protect.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Ricardo and I have a good co parenting relationship where
it's positive. It's positive for my son because my son
doesn't need to experience my pain and I want to
raise him in an environment that he doesn't see his
mom and dad bickering at each other, right, And because.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Of that, I have chosen to that's how for people.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
I have chosen to make sure that he never experiences
that with us. And so now we just talk about
him and he's a great father, So I have to
give him his credit for that. Now, him being a
husband to me wasn't was not the case at all.
I'm in touch with what is his name, Devin?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
About Devin for a second.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
At the time he ended up putting his car, he
puts his car on your insurance, right, so now you're
paying for his insurance while you're in the hospital, he
calls you and asked you who is your insurance provider?
While you are in the hospital, you know, having contractions,
and then you end up paying for that.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
He turns out he has a whole other.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Woman six months pregnant while you're in the hospital giving birth.
He just did not participate. Then he ends up going
to jail. Right now, what would you do in that situation, Jasmine.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I wouldn't deal with him anymore. I would leave him.
I wouldn't talk to him anymore.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
That's it. Now, What did you do, doctor Trishabilly?
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Not that, not that, not that.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
The family, by the way, were very nasty to her,
cut her off right, had nothing to do with her, had
the other woman living with them?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
The nerve this with the six month though, but go ahead.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Yeah, I end up paying for his legal fees. He
still end up going You.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Have all the blessings, though, I want to say, like
reading this, I realized that that compassionate because you felt
you felt like we have a child, we have a son,
and I don't want to leave him there.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
I didn't want my son father to be in prison.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
And that is really like the ultimate of I want
to make sure that my son is good, So regardless
of how this man treated me, I care about my
son more than I care about my feelings about this person.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
That's a hard space for people to get.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
Into, and that's where I am. I'm like that with
all of them, and now my children. I allow them
to decide whether or not they want to be in
their father's life. It's not my choice, right because I'm
always going to be kind and loving because I am
like that with everyone, even if you hurt me. That's
why I have the ability to love the next person
equally as much if it come from I think that's
(15:43):
just a gift, truly, because I literally give myself forty
eight hours that I am not captain on no level.
Forty eight hours, I will cry, I'll sulk, and the
next day I'm like, ah, you know, okay, all right,
I'm good.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
To do it.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I'm good now.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
So you give yourself to days two days, okay?
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Yeah? And I don't. I don't live in there. I
say that I experienced the pain, but I will not
live in the pain.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
What tep of therapy have you gone through?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
So I did ten years of talk therapy and that
helps somewhat because it helped you to process your boundaries
and be able to engage with different people. But then
I discovered EMDR therapy, which is a non talk therapy
which is specialized in trauma. And what it does. It
basically allows you to to traumas are in your subconscious
(16:26):
like ice cubes and a normal memory you walking down
the street. That's why you won't remember it ten years later,
but a trauma, you're going to remember exactly what happened to,
all the details. What it does. What EMDR does is
melt all those memories so that it's a normal memory
and so that the trauma is not affecting you. That's
why I'm able to talk about it freely now and
(16:47):
able to go through the stories without actually feeling broken,
without feeling as though I need you know I need
help because I did a session of the EMDR therapy.
So I add a KY so much for this. So
if any of you are out there, who needs who
needs some trauma therapy? E m d R E m
(17:08):
d R eight sessions is not a lot, No, it's
not a lot. Now it's painful because you literally I
want to go back, but you should because once you
so it's picture yourself in the room. You go in
the room, it's completely dark and you only have a flashlight.
The only light you see is the little flashlight that's
a person with trauma. After you have processed it and
deal with it, like through em d R, now you
(17:30):
turn the entire light switch on and your entire world
is lit. And so now like I am truly at
the happiest place I've ever been in my life.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Right that billion dallas don't help, don't hurt.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
It doesn't money, but you know that I that out there.
It doesn't. But you know that money money does many
money really does. Is not happiness, no experience of it.
So what happened after I did the em DR. I
was a just started dating normally. So because I started
dating normally, I met the most amazing man I've ever
(18:05):
met in my life. I've met him five years ago,
ten years ago. The relationship will not work.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, too much going on.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
You think you would have been able to write this
book without AMDR therapy, No.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
No, not at all. I don't believe. I don't. I
could have write the book, but I wouldn't be able
to talk about the way that I do. I wouldn't
be able to extend the healing that I believe is
my calling and the help that I truly need to
give to the world. I wouldn't be able to do that.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Is this some a therapy expensive?
Speaker 4 (18:30):
No, it's like mine was one hundred and seventy dollars
a session.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Oh my session is now fifty.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Yeah, you can do it all this more, come out.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'll give you the twenty dollars.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
All right, now, let's get back.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Let's talk about some money talk too, all right, because
you're definitely an entrepreneur and somebody that we should look to.
Because I love the fact that you know, being in
the space that you're in, you've been able to just say, okay,
let me try this, let me do this, and it's
really worked for you.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
But you've also laid down the groundwork.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
You're very intelligent, and you have been from a young age,
even in the midst of having to go through so
many different things, moving to Hartford kind of not even
you know, being bullied as a kid growing up, but
still being and like you said, not scoring very high
on your SATs.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
But at the same time, some people just.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Aren't good at test taking, and I feel like they've
shown in many different instances how those standardized tests can
be biased, you know, culturally. So sometimes it's not that
you're not smart, it's just that that test is not,
you know, aligned with the way that we learn. And
so you ended up getting a scholarship right to go
(19:41):
to Yukon. You wanted to go to Morgan State. Jasmine
went to Morgan State. Yeah, so she's kind.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Of all the wrong reasons. I wanted to go to
Morgan State. Your mom said no, She was like, now
you're not going there, but.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
She was okay with you going to Yukon.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
So discuss the path of you going from high school
in Hartford to going to Yukon.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
So Yukon was so I was recruited by every Division
I school in the country for track, for track, and
you know, I went to my recruit trip with Yukon.
I was like, I'm not going here. My friend, my
good friend Ray Allen was one of my hosts at
the time. I went to Morgan State for one of
the recruit trips. I see all the cues and they
were dancing and doing all they do what they do.
(20:21):
I'm like, okay, I'm coming here. So Yukon accidently ended
up taking a chance on me. And you know, one
of the reason I ended up going back and doing
a huge, large donation to the university because.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
The largest donation they've ever gotten.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I know, I saw that.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Okay, go ahead, And the reason why I did that
is because from a young girl from urban Hartford that
most people would count out. Most people did count me out.
They took a chance on me. And because they took
a chance on me, it was the start of my
level my life, a successful life. And so that's the
reason why I went back and did a donation. So
it's pretty much changed my life. It's changed my life
(20:58):
for the positive and to be in the space where
I am now and then.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Just even for you going on the path that you
are now.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
So first when you get out, you at some point
you were a stockbroker, yes, right, and so that's not
an easy space to be in, and especially being.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Like a black woman and a woman too.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, a woman and a black woman as a stockbroker.
What was that experience like for you, because there were
a lot of times you were in those spaces where
you were certainly the only one or one of few.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Yeah, so you kind of kind of set me up
for that role So that's the other part, you know,
loving the university in my alma mater, when you are
an athlete at University of Connecticut, because you know it's
the only there's no professional sports in Connecticut. So when
you're an athlete at Yukon, usually jobs will give you
an interview and it's your responsibility to actively sell them,
to sell them to this place. So I became the
(21:48):
youngest stockbroker in the history of the company, twenty two
years old, and I was the only black woman in
the New England for Smith Barney. And I knew that
I belong so a lot of people at me. So
when you're the only one there, how do you function?
How do you navigate? I always knew I belong and
being belonging there, I have to make sure that I'm
(22:09):
better than every single person that's there. So I gave
it everything that I had. I was in the I
was always the first in the office at six am
most nights. I didn't leave until eleven o'clock at night.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
What kind of life did you have outside of it?
Speaker 4 (22:21):
None?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
None, none, And that I always look at that as
like we've seen like the Wolf of Wall Street and
just the.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Environment to be in what was that environment.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Like as far as like, because I always look at stockbrokers,
it's like the crazy partiers doing all kinds of cocaine
and stuff.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Yeah, it is. It is that life. I remember back
that when I saw always joke and says, you know
the man they are it is either this person's on
coke or this person is on this drugs or doing
this drugs. And they will say to me, so what
are you. I was like, well, I'm the man euser.
So rug that was my drug. But if you when
(22:58):
you see people who don't look like you and you're
adapting to the environment, For me, I had to because
that's all I knew. All I knew was to work.
When I watched my grandmother walk twenty five miles to
the market and sell the produce and walk back twenty
five miles every Thursday, is like, it give you a
kind of level of work ethic that and tenacity and
(23:19):
the ability to overcome that you can't even imagine, right,
And so I knew that my responsibility is to be
the absolute best. And because I'm obsessed with finishing and
I'm obsessed with being successful in the process. My sister
tells me that my superpowers. I'm fast. I'm fast with
everything I do.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Running, learning, okay.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
And then eventually you left there, and then you ended
up getting into the pharmaceutical business. So talk about that
because that has been highly lucrative for you.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Oh yes, So when I left, when I left being
a broker, I knew that. At this point, I'm like,
they give you the clients because the hardest part in
being a stock broke is fine and the clients we
have money. And when I realized they give you the clients,
I'm like, I have all the skills in the world
to be the absolute best. So when I transitioned to
t Cato Pharmaceuticals, I applied the same skills that I
(24:09):
had as a broker. So now I had the discipline
that had the financial literacy. So I started doing my
MBA because the job wasn't enough work for me. So
I hilarious. So I started doing my MBA and the
company was paying for my education.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
You might as well.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
So what I did during that time, because I already
had the financial literacy, I had lots of money saved
them from being a broker. But then I wanted to
continue doing more, so I took my student loans and
I used them to flip houses.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
She sh and then I got she knew to do
all this because you're the first person in your family
to even go.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
To college, right, Yeah, so for you to have all
of this knowledge. And look, it's not that they, like
you said, your grandmother walked twenty five miles to the
supermarket once a week to get food for the whole family,
and to barter and to bring food and to do
all of those things. It's not that people didn't work hard,
but you were able to work hard in a different
type of space.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
Yeah, and smart, very lucratively smart. So that's why I
say save, discipline, save, and then learn financial literacy. That way,
you know how to invest that money. And because I
went from saving and had the discipline, and now I
had the financial literacy because I was taught that from
being a broker, now I'm able to invest in that
own end, the stop market, the real estate market, and
(25:23):
various investments. So I would never recommend if someone taking
their student loans to do investments unless you know really
well to do what you're doing, because that could go
completely side. Yes, you could have it more dead, yeah,
even more dead, and you don't want that. You want
to come out on top.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
And then the entrepreneurship part happened for you.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
And the entrepreneurship happened. So I was I had got
promoted into the second company I was with. I was
finishing my doctorate degree at the time. I had my MBA.
I was number one in the company. I had every
award that they can give out in the company. And
so they promoted me without a formal interview, and they
usually do a formal interview for promotions. And so when
I got to California, they had approved all the things
(26:02):
I could do. When I got to California, my boss
had lunch with me the first day and he looked
at me. He says, oh, I didn't know you're black,
And I said, I said, yeah, I'm black. Yeah, not
thinking anything of it because I mean, why would that
even matter?
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Right?
Speaker 4 (26:17):
And a week later he started disapproving. Everything that was
previously approved still happened. And at that point, Devin, the
character in the book Devon, he said to me, why
are you working for someone? You have all these degrees?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Right.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
See, he may have been useless in other ways, but
he was useful. Yeah, and you took that.
Speaker 4 (26:35):
And I tooke it and I take it and ran
with it. And I started my first company, which was a
medical recruiting company, and it became extremely successful in the
first six months. I mean I literally worked my tail off.
I was maybe three four hours maximum sleep. I was
working because I was on the West coast, so I
will get up at five am, known as eight o'clock
on the East coast, and I'll work until one o'clock
(26:56):
in the morning. And I was back at it again
at five am every and you had.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Your daughter with you this whole time too.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Sometimes people who you know moms feel like they can't
fathom how can they manage to do this? How did
you manage to do that having a young daughter and
then you had a son.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Yeah, so this time I did not have my son.
I just had my daughter. But she was on my
hip everywhere I go, so everything I was doing sometimes
i'll have her. I mean I remember breastfeeding, putting my
makeup on, whatever it is I needs to get done,
I was doing it.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
When did you ever feel bad?
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Because I know Jazmine, she has a two year old,
and sometimes she feels guilty, like even if she's gone
for the day, she feels. So I'm like Jazmine, yeah,
you know, because it is a difficult thing to.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
Know, I have to I never felt guilty. I'm sorry,
you go.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
I didn't feel guilty because she was with me so
much and everything I did, I always had her with them.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
She's with them. That's why she don't feel guilty. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:51):
So I always had her with me, so I had
we were it was just us. It was me and her,
like you know. And so I didn't end up feeling
the guilt because I knew she was learning. So because
I will see her, she has her little computer and
she's like this, I'm there. And then she was like
so she was. She was mimicking everything that I did.
But I didn't know if I was being a good mom.
(28:12):
But that I questioned, I was like, am I being
a good mom? I don't know if I'm doing this right.
But now that I see my baby, oh my god,
she's just kind of complete joy. She's graduating next year
from University of Florida, Okay, and she is an artist
and she's just blooming. And I'm like, I was a
(28:32):
good mom. I want good mom. I did it right.
I'm surprised, but I did.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Look, I also want to talk about your investments too. Now,
let's talk about your investments in some of these sports
teams because people may not know about this. So how
did this even come about?
Speaker 4 (28:48):
So it's basically you have to be invited into being
a minority owner for vera sports team. And so there's
a group basically like private equity group that comes together
invite you in to be one of the investment. So
that's how So I can't walk in these arenas and
be like, oh, I own your team?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
You can't, right, But but you can't put in the bio.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Let's see what are the teams sold on?
Speaker 4 (29:10):
Because I had a list a few of them, right, Yes,
the Charlotte Hornets, the Atlanta team, Atlanta Hawks, and Seattle.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Do you go to the games? Do you have a
team you likes that I do?
Speaker 4 (29:22):
I actually go to Magic that so I have four
seats in the in the Magic Game, and I sometimes
forget that I'm not supposed to cheer for the Magic
so I'm supposed to cheering from my team. I'm like,
I'm trying to. I'm charing against my own self interest here, But.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Hey, you know, if they gave you the floor sea.
You would be chearing there too, right, okay, right, But
when it comes to your book, Unbroken, what are some
things that you've heard from people? First, I want to
ask you what you've heard that people have taken from it,
and then I want to know what you yourself got
from writing this.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
So what people have been the consensus. They say that
I help them to share their own trauma and to
go get help. Yesterday I met a young man at
Yukon and he was just so excited. I was like,
I thought that. I was like, who are you so
excited about? And he said that he started EMDR therapy
and he said he has never been in a happier
(30:15):
place he has ever been in his life.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
That's great. We might got to try this.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
I think I got to.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah, I thought it was like tens thousands of dollars.
She said, one's seventy her session with Okay, go ahead, we.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Got one seventy and so consensus across the board. People
tell me you have helped me heal. You've given me
the energy of healing. You allow me to see that
I can overcome my struggles and I can also let
go and forgive. They also tell me that they have
also seen. I have had one story, actually a few stories,
(30:46):
and said, I was so inspired. I wanted to buy
a building. But I don't know what to do with
a building, but I just need to know I want
to buy a building. And I thought that was so
across the board. Is either there inspired, they are empathetical,
or it is helping them with their own personal lives
and their own personal trauma to share it and to
have the necessary conversations to be able to overcome.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
And what did you get?
Speaker 4 (31:10):
What did I get? I get to know that I
am doing my calling, I am living in my purpose
in helping others. So when I hear stories like these,
it refuels me because I know the reason why I
wrote it. I wrote it so and I was raw
because I wanted each person who is experiencing any of
these things or a combination of these things, to be
able to know that they can truly be successful in
(31:32):
their endeavors and they can overcome and they can see
their light at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Do you think that you know earlier you made a
joke about being a manizer, And do you feel like
you were looking for love, like to be loved or
things that were lacking in your household.
Speaker 4 (31:49):
Oh yes, oh yes, Because the thing is, like, you know,
when you're a traumatized person, all you want is to
be loved. That void of whatever was stolen from you
that you weren't cared for and loved. That's all you're
looking for. So I've always been like this hopeless romantic.
I pour my whole self into every relationship, not just males,
females and friends as well. And I was searching for
(32:13):
that person who I can give everything to the way
I give my business and my business gives it back
to me. I was looking for that person to be
able to pour my whole self into and they mirrors
me and give it back to me. And I finally
now I'm at that stage where actually I have that.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
So are you you're married now or engaged?
Speaker 4 (32:33):
I'm not married or engaged.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Okay, I don't know. You know what I'm saying. I
had to ask. It's a life partnership ring Okay, life partnership.
I'm with that. Is it hard though? For you today?
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Just knowing that, like somebody could google you and see
you're worth a billion dollars, you know, I said, seven
hundred million, a billion whatever, But is that hard to
know that, Like somebody can look it up and be like, Okay,
she's beautiful, but she also got that cash.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
She lit.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
So yes, yes, yes, And I thank god I'm not
happening to date now because because it was a problem, right,
But most people didn't know who I was, and I
became public when I did a donation to Yukon, not
for my my doing. As a matter of fact, I
told him to keep it private.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
And we don't know what then is we don't know about.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
They already disclosed it. So how much it's fifteen million? Okay?
So I wanted to kind of stay under the radar
because I've always just kind of kept my head down
and the public doesn't know who I am, and then
I became public. So I met him very early on
in the stage of of of when I became public.
But he also is the same as me. He's equally
(33:42):
financially open and he's equally successful people. Yeah, imagine it fits.
And his family is just like mine.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
I love that for you, thank you, thank you for
me too. I love it well, doctor Tricia Bailey. I'm
broken it's available now, and I tell you, guys, like,
you have to read this book and it's going to
put you through some things.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
You know.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
But I also feel like we love the fact that
we can see you sitting here and know how the
story ends, you know, up until now, I feel like
there will be another book that's going to be like.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Or maybe we'll see this on the big screen or
the small screen one day. I feel like it's definitely,
it's definitely worth it.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
I've been I've been hearing so many pretty much everyone else.
Everyone read the book.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
They will play you as a youngster, Hailey Bailey.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
You know, I was thinking, like, not just depend on
what age. I was thinking like a Tiana Taylor. I
was thinking, I think would be good.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I think it's gotta it could be even somebody. But
I feel like we need a track star, like a
young Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
It's somebody we don't know. Let's let's you know, cast
something we do some some new fresh.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Anybody who feels like thing that definitely can be done.
I know you're working on documentary now.
Speaker 4 (35:04):
Yes Innovations in Connecticut. So I was one of the
four most successful people who graduated from Yukon. So they're
doing a documentary now and it's filmed yesterdays and it
was pretty interesting. I had to go back to the
apartment that I came to when I started.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
A Nightmary, how did that fail?
Speaker 4 (35:22):
You know, I didn't know I was going to start
crying on camera, but I did so in the morning,
I said, well, I guess it's a test to see
how heal I am. But it doesn't necessarily mean I'm
not healed. But because you know, the memory is still there,
it's just not it doesn't affect me the same way
that it used to affect me. So I started the
story and the experiences of walking home from school and
crying when I'm walking home from school because I was
(35:43):
so afraid to be home. And then we went to
the next apartment where you know, the worst thing that
can ever happen to a child will happened. And then
I transitioned to my high school on the track, and
then I found my happy place again.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Yes really right, and not just running but running and
winning like winning running to success. Well again, thank you
so much, and we're definitely going to stay in contact.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
I told her.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I went to Wesleyan, so that wasn't that far from Yukon.
So we had some fun conversations about that.
Speaker 4 (36:16):
But yeah, that was cool.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
I'm like, good, well, look we got our rich friend.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
But honestly, it is a pleasure to be able to
talk to you. And you are definitely a role model
for anybody who is watching this to know that you
can make incredible things happen, and you certainly have and
so we appreciate you and we celebrate you and thank
you so much.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Thank you the honor to be here with you.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Guys, it's way yep and Angela ye
Way Up With Angela Yee News
Host
Angela Yee
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