June 9, 2025 • 16 mins
Joy Taylor on Dating Younger Men, Red Flags, and Navigating Vulnerability
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
All right, well, lickut, who's here? Our fan Joy Taylor's here,
Joey Taylor talks.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
What's up?
Speaker 3 (00:09):
So good to see you again. It's good to see
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I'm glad. Listen, I'm glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I actually it was always like, I need you to
come see me more often, or like zoom in or something.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Literally anytime you need me.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Have you done lip service yet?
Speaker 5 (00:21):
Because I feel like this she would be right, Yeah,
it would be great for lip service too personal.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
No, but she has listen.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
That's the Poga listen. Listen.
Speaker 5 (00:30):
So there was a clip that went viral of you
talking about you prefer dating younger guys.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Paul's podcast got me in all this mess.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
I said.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
They asked me what my dating range was, and I
said twenty five to I think, like seventy, and they
were upset. Well, so he was like, basically, you have range,
but I can't. I wouldn't don't. I could not date
someone younger than twenty five. That's the limit. That's but
I also am not dating twenty five year old. Yeah,
but I'm just putting it reasonable. But and then they
(01:02):
were like seventies to old Listen, listen, listen.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
We are aging.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Well that's a fact.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I just want to say, because you know, our good
brother is married, so this is not the same. But
if he wasn't Denzel is sixty eight years old, right, right,
So what are you all talking about?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Please? Ye all of you are lying. Everyone's lying.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
What is the oldest you've dated.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
I've dated someone twenty years older than me twice. I
was much much younger. But you know, the thing about
older men to me is I really like to talk
like that is mine. That is like I joy tails talks,
like I like to have conversations with people. It's how
I connect with people. And if you still have a
lot to say, like I can't be always be the
(01:43):
most interesting one, Like you need somebody that has some
death to them, somebody that can like let's talk about
that experience. And so to me, I just feel like
older men. Plus I'm just I love.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
A I love a man.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Do you feel like you have to pushes here a
little chunk? You know? She likes she likes medium ugly guys.
She always says ugly.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
It's such a harsh word. It is.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Maybe I's to stop using it, but just like not
not because every.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Guy that she did, it's like so and we would
be so offended. But guy said, I like a little punch.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
I like, I think a lot of Yeah, I think
it's different for women because we're supposed to be soft,
you know, are we?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
I don't know. I like a lot of men like
a soft woman.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Do you find that a lot of things?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Like, because the problem I have right now is that,
like we do all these interviews and certain things get
clipped up and go viral. I was watching something it
was about the w n b A and they talk
about like how women need to be compensated.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yea, and it looked like it who was it?
Speaker 5 (02:41):
Was?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
It Draymond about it?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
And but the way they edited it made it seem
like it was an argument, But it wasn't really an argument.
It's just like a little clip that made it seem
like she was like, oh, give up your salaries and
you know, the NBA should be And people were furious.
But it's also like y'all didn't even watch the full conversation.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, I mean we all react to the clips that
we watch and assume that the clips are having the
right context, right, Like, it's so hard when we're doing
these shows, you know, we have a million things that
we're doing, so we are passing the clipping to someone
else and then that so it's like really important for
me to try and have as much nuance packed into
(03:21):
a thirty second or minute long clip, because that is
what happens is a clip will be posted and then
it goes viral and it's like we had a whole elaborate, nuanced,
in depth conversation, really balanced back and forth, and people
zoom in on this one thing, Like I posted a
part of my rant about the woman who is brain
(03:45):
dead and she's pregnant, and on the comments, people were like, well,
you know, what's the context, like how far long is she?
I'm like, baby, read like I can't be responsible. If
you have time to type all that at the time
that you had this lot this bad, you could have
just read any of the thousands of articles available. They
(04:07):
could give you all the information that you're looking for.
But this is this is the world we live in,
and people think that they're getting like it's not my
job to sit here and give you my opinion and
explain how old she is, how far.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Along she is?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
That like that's that's your job to do that, because
even if I put it in the caption, you ain't
gonna read that either.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
So it is.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
It's I won't say it's like hard, but that is.
I think it's important that people, if you feel a
visceral reaction, if you feel and need to get involved
in a conversation about something that you've seen on the internet,
take it a little Yeah, type it in Google, go
to an accredited news site, read about it, and then
revisit the clip, and then respond that's never gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
But that's my suggestion.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
You're not gonna do that. I wish they would do that.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, Well, I was the reason I was saying that.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I was like, cause, you know, I watch sports and
I know that's your you know, and I'm like, I
need more like of us being I want to be
able to talk about it more on the show, but
I don't ever want to talk ab about things that
I don't feel like I'm as equipped like I watch
things and I'm but I'm not like the you know.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
But I don't think you should be intimidated about sports.
I feel like a lot of women, uh, well, always
we always feel like we have to be the most qualified,
like not to make this a woman man thing, but
like you know, people just say things and they don't
really care if it's researched or accurate or you know, responsible.
(05:25):
All the time, we feel like we have to always
do that because we don't have the space to be
wrong about things. But it does make it intimidating for
a lot of women to talk about sports because they're like, Okay, well,
I like, I know, but I don't really know. Yes,
you do, and trust me, I talk to people every
day who don't know what the bleep they're talking about.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I don't know if we can cuss on here.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
They don't know what they're talking about and will be
very one hundred confidence.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
It makes you believe them though it is the delivery.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yes, no, it really is is.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Because I'll be like, I love that you feel dispassionate
about this, but that player does not play for this team.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
It's a fact you're you're wrong.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
And I also feel like the people that get the
most vitriol are the ones that also get the biggest contracts.
Like it'll be like people be like.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
I can stand you either really hate them or you
really love them.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Usually hate though, but polarized. So I think it's it's
a bit interesting, Like it's different than talking about culture,
talking about pop culture news or any civil rights like
it's it's a kind of a different thing than sports,
because sports we argue, we're like.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Like, have you ever been around someone with a big family?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I don't know if you guys have a big families
and everyone's yelling and they're.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Like why are you yelling?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Like no, this is how we talk to each other,
like if you want to be heard in this house,
And that's kind of how sports is. I always say
the sports, like the sports fans love language is animosity,
like I like this guy, he's not good enough, and
like that's just how we talk. But it's how we
connect with each other. So it's not that I excuse
the massive amounts of all that are in the sports
(07:01):
business because you know, I know, but there is that's
kind of just how we speak to each other.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
I want to ask you about red flags. It's off topic,
but on topic, is there any in terms of red
flags and relationships or when you're dating someone, Is there
anything that you thought initially was a red flag but
now that you're older, you're like, that's not really a
red flag.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
You know what I am dealing with currently, and I'm
trying to find where I'm planting the flag on.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
It is.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
How to have conversations about your past and be open
and trusting with someone and what the level of exchange
has to be to get to know someone early.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Okay, Okay, you're right, because then if it doesn't work
and outn't told you all this stuff. And I think
sometimes when you're talking about your past, you're also talking
about other people.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Too write And yet transparency, I think is something that
we all want in intimate relationships and long term relationships.
We want to be able to be ourselves open.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
I am.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I love to just I just want it all out
and I'm not ashamed of things. Yeah, it's not about shame.
It's not about hiding things. But to your point, I'm
not telling other people's business because that's I feel like
I don't want people doing that to me. And you know,
when you're in a certain business, we people know each
(08:28):
other the business together, there are these emotions come up
when you see them like so, I feel like transparency
is something that when people ask for too much transparency early,
it's always been a red flag but it's also like
sometimes you got to explain where you've moved in the past,
(08:49):
and not like not just women like men, what is
this person to you? Is this and that and what
happened here? And you know, we all have these stories
about each other.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Right know, you know truthfully somebody, if somebody was dating you,
that's like bragging points too, so fact the other issue
is yeah, no kidding, but this is to a Taylor,
it's different. But you know, but I will say, but
I will say it's like, so sometimes that's hard too,
because they may be acting amazing to you, but then
(09:20):
in their group chat it's like and that's why you
have to move.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
There's just so much pressure in new situations to move
and then like do you need leverage against this person?
And it's like it's just icky, and I wish we
didn't have to be that way, but yeah, transparency to
me is something where I'm trying to find like what's
the balance, Like is this too much?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Is this not enough?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
It's something that I deeply want. But but the right.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Person and.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Everyone, even if you're not a public figure, deals with
trusting people and exchanging your life with somebody, So there's
always a risk in that, like you just you can't
play the game of love without risk. You can't go
through life without trusting people. One of my favorite books
I was just talking about this with my girlfriend last night.
One of my favorite books is Talking to Strangers by
Malcolm Gladwell, and the whole premise of the book is
(10:14):
how to trust people, Like how we consume what people
say to us as the truth. You default to the
truth you believe. You get in this uber, the uber
is gonna take you where it says it's gonna go.
You order this food. You believe these people are are
chefs and are properly and bring it to you. Like,
in order to move around society, you have to trust people.
And when you have real trust issues, which a lot
(10:35):
of us have and real trauma, finding a way to
balance that and really be intimate emotionally with people is
really hard to do. So it's like triggering too, you know,
like when someone asks for your vulnerability and you're like, ah,
I want to, but are you first? Yeah? You first?
And then you're sharing just because you want, Like it's
(10:59):
just it's a very tricky.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
It also is something that you can't rush too, because
there's no way you could speed up being vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
It's just something that has to happen.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yeah, but sometimes when you sometimes but you can't like
force it. It's got to feel like, you know, you
might stay up and talk to somebody two days straight
and be like, damn, I felt the deepest connection in
these two days. Yeah, Or you could date somebody for
three months and never get to that point you know
what I mean.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Get them out of here.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
But that to me like and sometimes really feel safe,
like when someone goes up too yeah, well yeah, people
have walls up. And it's like if you've been in
toxic situations and you you know that's part of your DNA,
that toxicity is very like comforting.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I like that familiar.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
This is familiar. I know this.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I know these moves and that in some ways can
feel like connection. But it's not determining the difference between
connection and toxicity and love bombing and love them happens.
I love yeah, nice to be nice, and the New
York man can love bombing. You know, New York man
be knowing how to love bomb.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
But I know how to talk. Yes, yeah, they know
how to talk.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
We'll talk, they do they do?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
You know, I feel like you've been through so much
and you have this really strong like demeanor about you.
Do you feel like sometimes like uh, because we're talking
about being vulnerable. What I love is that no matter
what they you keep pushing. It's just like block the
noise out. But sometimes it got to be like, y'all,
I'm not tired, I'm exhausted, Yeah, because I literally like
(12:39):
think that sometimes and I'm like, if you are, because
people be saying crazy shit in comments. People other newscasters
who are awful human beings say awful you know what
I say things and I'm like, this person is disgusting,
and it's like, what the fuck is wrong with y'all?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
You know?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
And so, and sometimes I'm like, Joey, just need a
hug because it's like, I know that's just not easy.
I know it's not it's not, but but what do
you do right? You quit or you don't, and you
can't you make if you quit, it makes it look
like they want Yeah, because we're talking about Earth. I
was just saying that earlier. I said there's been times
when people have fought so hard for like to try
to make me give up and plan. That actually has
(13:15):
been the reason why I haven't in situations where.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
But I don't like you know I I don't know
if you feel this way, because for a lot of
many years I worked hard and they would be in
the not these people, but other people from my past
would be in my mind. And I've reached a point
in my career and my life where I want.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
To do things for me.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
I don't need to prove anything to anybody. The people
that love me love me. The people that support me
support me no matter what is going on in life.
So it's it's inconsequential to me what someone thinks about me.
I cannot convince you of anything. I get to that
a whole fact on the table. If you want to
(13:54):
feel certain type of way about something, you're going to.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Feel that way about it.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
I don't want to make it look too easy, though.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
Like you don't make it look care for you, but
it make you make it look like because I have stuff.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
To do and things I want to accomplish, and whales
to pay, and that like nothing, nothing that is meant
for me is going to be stopped because of another person.
What's meant for me is meant for me. You can
be mad about it, you can talk about it. You
can complain about it, you can say about it, you
can comment about it. What's meant for me is meant
for me regardless. And I also feel like, just as
(14:27):
black women, we always have to be strong. And this
chapter of my life has really made me lean into
my people, like I'm not okay, I'm tired. I need
to break, I need to vent, I need to get away,
like and I think we all just this year has
been a crazy year for everybody. Like politically you're in LA,
(14:51):
it's been awful. Like it's like every day I'm like, get.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Up, break alone, unprecedented news.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Please, So you know, I think self care in a
real way is very important. But yeah, lastly, do you
bet on sports?
Speaker 3 (15:07):
I do?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Okay, what would you have bet on the Pacers winning
the other night because that was insane?
Speaker 3 (15:12):
So actually I.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Didn't put anything on that game, but I would have
put it on them to cover because the spread was
a lot. The spread was ten points, which the Thunder
have them blowing teams out all year really and all postseason.
They've only won two close games this whole postseason, so
I thought that the spread was a little bit much
for Game one. I did not think the Pacers were
gonna win. Yeah, but they're just amazing. They're just so fun.
(15:36):
Like Halliburton is gonna have such a summer. He is
gonna be on every commercial. And I love that. I
love seeing the young guys in the league starting to
ascend and us like getting to know them more, because
this is really like the changing of the guard for
the NBA. It is, yeah, because none of the old
guys are old guys. You guys know you're not old
the old guard og, the old guard. The ogs are
(15:56):
not in this guard.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I know.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
You got to leave really quick. Question what's the most
you ever want with a bet? A sports bet? What's
the most you ever want?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
A couple of thousand?
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Okay, all right, yeah I'm not I'm gonna pay my runt,
you know. But like this is what I'm saying. I
need you to come check me and anytime you're anytime.
So them guys are New York guys who come put
some red flags.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I love New York red but thank you
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Well,
All right, well, lickut, who's here? Our fan Joy Taylor's here,
Joey Taylor talks.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
What's up?
Speaker 3 (00:09):
So good to see you again. It's good to see
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I'm glad. Listen, I'm glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I actually it was always like, I need you to
come see me more often, or like zoom in or something.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Literally anytime you need me.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Have you done lip service yet?
Speaker 5 (00:21):
Because I feel like this she would be right, Yeah,
it would be great for lip service too personal.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
No, but she has listen.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
That's the Poga listen. Listen.
Speaker 5 (00:30):
So there was a clip that went viral of you
talking about you prefer dating younger guys.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Paul's podcast got me in all this mess.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
I said.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
They asked me what my dating range was, and I
said twenty five to I think, like seventy, and they
were upset. Well, so he was like, basically, you have range,
but I can't. I wouldn't don't. I could not date
someone younger than twenty five. That's the limit. That's but
I also am not dating twenty five year old. Yeah,
but I'm just putting it reasonable. But and then they
(01:02):
were like seventies to old Listen, listen, listen.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
We are aging.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Well that's a fact.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I just want to say, because you know, our good
brother is married, so this is not the same. But
if he wasn't Denzel is sixty eight years old, right, right,
So what are you all talking about?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Please? Ye all of you are lying. Everyone's lying.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
What is the oldest you've dated.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
I've dated someone twenty years older than me twice. I
was much much younger. But you know, the thing about
older men to me is I really like to talk
like that is mine. That is like I joy tails talks,
like I like to have conversations with people. It's how
I connect with people. And if you still have a
lot to say, like I can't be always be the
(01:43):
most interesting one, Like you need somebody that has some
death to them, somebody that can like let's talk about
that experience. And so to me, I just feel like
older men. Plus I'm just I love.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
A I love a man.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Do you feel like you have to pushes here a
little chunk? You know? She likes she likes medium ugly guys.
She always says ugly.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
It's such a harsh word. It is.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Maybe I's to stop using it, but just like not
not because every.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Guy that she did, it's like so and we would
be so offended. But guy said, I like a little punch.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
I like, I think a lot of Yeah, I think
it's different for women because we're supposed to be soft,
you know, are we?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
I don't know. I like a lot of men like
a soft woman.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Do you find that a lot of things?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Like, because the problem I have right now is that,
like we do all these interviews and certain things get
clipped up and go viral. I was watching something it
was about the w n b A and they talk
about like how women need to be compensated.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yea, and it looked like it who was it?
Speaker 5 (02:41):
Was?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
It Draymond about it?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
And but the way they edited it made it seem
like it was an argument, But it wasn't really an argument.
It's just like a little clip that made it seem
like she was like, oh, give up your salaries and
you know, the NBA should be And people were furious.
But it's also like y'all didn't even watch the full conversation.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, I mean we all react to the clips that
we watch and assume that the clips are having the
right context, right, Like, it's so hard when we're doing
these shows, you know, we have a million things that
we're doing, so we are passing the clipping to someone
else and then that so it's like really important for
me to try and have as much nuance packed into
(03:21):
a thirty second or minute long clip, because that is
what happens is a clip will be posted and then
it goes viral and it's like we had a whole elaborate, nuanced,
in depth conversation, really balanced back and forth, and people
zoom in on this one thing, Like I posted a
part of my rant about the woman who is brain
(03:45):
dead and she's pregnant, and on the comments, people were like, well,
you know, what's the context, like how far long is she?
I'm like, baby, read like I can't be responsible. If
you have time to type all that at the time
that you had this lot this bad, you could have
just read any of the thousands of articles available. They
(04:07):
could give you all the information that you're looking for.
But this is this is the world we live in,
and people think that they're getting like it's not my
job to sit here and give you my opinion and
explain how old she is, how far.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Along she is?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
That like that's that's your job to do that, because
even if I put it in the caption, you ain't
gonna read that either.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
So it is.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
It's I won't say it's like hard, but that is.
I think it's important that people, if you feel a
visceral reaction, if you feel and need to get involved
in a conversation about something that you've seen on the internet,
take it a little Yeah, type it in Google, go
to an accredited news site, read about it, and then
revisit the clip, and then respond that's never gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
But that's my suggestion.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
You're not gonna do that. I wish they would do that.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, Well, I was the reason I was saying that.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I was like, cause, you know, I watch sports and
I know that's your you know, and I'm like, I
need more like of us being I want to be
able to talk about it more on the show, but
I don't ever want to talk ab about things that
I don't feel like I'm as equipped like I watch
things and I'm but I'm not like the you know.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
But I don't think you should be intimidated about sports.
I feel like a lot of women, uh, well, always
we always feel like we have to be the most qualified,
like not to make this a woman man thing, but
like you know, people just say things and they don't
really care if it's researched or accurate or you know, responsible.
(05:25):
All the time, we feel like we have to always
do that because we don't have the space to be
wrong about things. But it does make it intimidating for
a lot of women to talk about sports because they're like, Okay, well,
I like, I know, but I don't really know. Yes,
you do, and trust me, I talk to people every
day who don't know what the bleep they're talking about.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I don't know if we can cuss on here.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
They don't know what they're talking about and will be
very one hundred confidence.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
It makes you believe them though it is the delivery.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yes, no, it really is is.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Because I'll be like, I love that you feel dispassionate
about this, but that player does not play for this team.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
It's a fact you're you're wrong.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
And I also feel like the people that get the
most vitriol are the ones that also get the biggest contracts.
Like it'll be like people be like.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
I can stand you either really hate them or you
really love them.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Usually hate though, but polarized. So I think it's it's
a bit interesting, Like it's different than talking about culture,
talking about pop culture news or any civil rights like
it's it's a kind of a different thing than sports,
because sports we argue, we're like.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Like, have you ever been around someone with a big family?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I don't know if you guys have a big families
and everyone's yelling and they're.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Like why are you yelling?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Like no, this is how we talk to each other,
like if you want to be heard in this house,
And that's kind of how sports is. I always say
the sports, like the sports fans love language is animosity,
like I like this guy, he's not good enough, and
like that's just how we talk. But it's how we
connect with each other. So it's not that I excuse
the massive amounts of all that are in the sports
(07:01):
business because you know, I know, but there is that's
kind of just how we speak to each other.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
I want to ask you about red flags. It's off topic,
but on topic, is there any in terms of red
flags and relationships or when you're dating someone, Is there
anything that you thought initially was a red flag but
now that you're older, you're like, that's not really a
red flag.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
You know what I am dealing with currently, and I'm
trying to find where I'm planting the flag on.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
It is.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
How to have conversations about your past and be open
and trusting with someone and what the level of exchange
has to be to get to know someone early.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Okay, Okay, you're right, because then if it doesn't work
and outn't told you all this stuff. And I think
sometimes when you're talking about your past, you're also talking
about other people.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Too write And yet transparency, I think is something that
we all want in intimate relationships and long term relationships.
We want to be able to be ourselves open.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
I am.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I love to just I just want it all out
and I'm not ashamed of things. Yeah, it's not about shame.
It's not about hiding things. But to your point, I'm
not telling other people's business because that's I feel like
I don't want people doing that to me. And you know,
when you're in a certain business, we people know each
(08:28):
other the business together, there are these emotions come up
when you see them like so, I feel like transparency
is something that when people ask for too much transparency early,
it's always been a red flag but it's also like
sometimes you got to explain where you've moved in the past,
(08:49):
and not like not just women like men, what is
this person to you? Is this and that and what
happened here? And you know, we all have these stories
about each other.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Right know, you know truthfully somebody, if somebody was dating you,
that's like bragging points too, so fact the other issue
is yeah, no kidding, but this is to a Taylor,
it's different. But you know, but I will say, but
I will say it's like, so sometimes that's hard too,
because they may be acting amazing to you, but then
(09:20):
in their group chat it's like and that's why you
have to move.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
There's just so much pressure in new situations to move
and then like do you need leverage against this person?
And it's like it's just icky, and I wish we
didn't have to be that way, but yeah, transparency to
me is something where I'm trying to find like what's
the balance, Like is this too much?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Is this not enough?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
It's something that I deeply want. But but the right.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Person and.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Everyone, even if you're not a public figure, deals with
trusting people and exchanging your life with somebody, So there's
always a risk in that, like you just you can't
play the game of love without risk. You can't go
through life without trusting people. One of my favorite books
I was just talking about this with my girlfriend last night.
One of my favorite books is Talking to Strangers by
Malcolm Gladwell, and the whole premise of the book is
(10:14):
how to trust people, Like how we consume what people
say to us as the truth. You default to the
truth you believe. You get in this uber, the uber
is gonna take you where it says it's gonna go.
You order this food. You believe these people are are
chefs and are properly and bring it to you. Like,
in order to move around society, you have to trust people.
And when you have real trust issues, which a lot
(10:35):
of us have and real trauma, finding a way to
balance that and really be intimate emotionally with people is
really hard to do. So it's like triggering too, you know,
like when someone asks for your vulnerability and you're like, ah,
I want to, but are you first? Yeah? You first?
And then you're sharing just because you want, Like it's
(10:59):
just it's a very tricky.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
It also is something that you can't rush too, because
there's no way you could speed up being vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
It's just something that has to happen.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yeah, but sometimes when you sometimes but you can't like
force it. It's got to feel like, you know, you
might stay up and talk to somebody two days straight
and be like, damn, I felt the deepest connection in
these two days. Yeah, Or you could date somebody for
three months and never get to that point you know
what I mean.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Get them out of here.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
But that to me like and sometimes really feel safe,
like when someone goes up too yeah, well yeah, people
have walls up. And it's like if you've been in
toxic situations and you you know that's part of your DNA,
that toxicity is very like comforting.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I like that familiar.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
This is familiar. I know this.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I know these moves and that in some ways can
feel like connection. But it's not determining the difference between
connection and toxicity and love bombing and love them happens.
I love yeah, nice to be nice, and the New
York man can love bombing. You know, New York man
be knowing how to love bomb.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
But I know how to talk. Yes, yeah, they know
how to talk.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
We'll talk, they do they do?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
You know, I feel like you've been through so much
and you have this really strong like demeanor about you.
Do you feel like sometimes like uh, because we're talking
about being vulnerable. What I love is that no matter
what they you keep pushing. It's just like block the
noise out. But sometimes it got to be like, y'all,
I'm not tired, I'm exhausted, Yeah, because I literally like
(12:39):
think that sometimes and I'm like, if you are, because
people be saying crazy shit in comments. People other newscasters
who are awful human beings say awful you know what
I say things and I'm like, this person is disgusting,
and it's like, what the fuck is wrong with y'all?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
You know?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
And so, and sometimes I'm like, Joey, just need a
hug because it's like, I know that's just not easy.
I know it's not it's not, but but what do
you do right? You quit or you don't, and you
can't you make if you quit, it makes it look
like they want Yeah, because we're talking about Earth. I
was just saying that earlier. I said there's been times
when people have fought so hard for like to try
to make me give up and plan. That actually has
(13:15):
been the reason why I haven't in situations where.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
But I don't like you know I I don't know
if you feel this way, because for a lot of
many years I worked hard and they would be in
the not these people, but other people from my past
would be in my mind. And I've reached a point
in my career and my life where I want.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
To do things for me.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
I don't need to prove anything to anybody. The people
that love me love me. The people that support me
support me no matter what is going on in life.
So it's it's inconsequential to me what someone thinks about me.
I cannot convince you of anything. I get to that
a whole fact on the table. If you want to
(13:54):
feel certain type of way about something, you're going to.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Feel that way about it.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
I don't want to make it look too easy, though.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
Like you don't make it look care for you, but
it make you make it look like because I have stuff.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
To do and things I want to accomplish, and whales
to pay, and that like nothing, nothing that is meant
for me is going to be stopped because of another person.
What's meant for me is meant for me. You can
be mad about it, you can talk about it. You
can complain about it, you can say about it, you
can comment about it. What's meant for me is meant
for me regardless. And I also feel like, just as
(14:27):
black women, we always have to be strong. And this
chapter of my life has really made me lean into
my people, like I'm not okay, I'm tired. I need
to break, I need to vent, I need to get away,
like and I think we all just this year has
been a crazy year for everybody. Like politically you're in LA,
(14:51):
it's been awful. Like it's like every day I'm like, get.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Up, break alone, unprecedented news.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Please, So you know, I think self care in a
real way is very important. But yeah, lastly, do you
bet on sports?
Speaker 3 (15:07):
I do?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Okay, what would you have bet on the Pacers winning
the other night because that was insane?
Speaker 3 (15:12):
So actually I.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Didn't put anything on that game, but I would have
put it on them to cover because the spread was
a lot. The spread was ten points, which the Thunder
have them blowing teams out all year really and all postseason.
They've only won two close games this whole postseason, so
I thought that the spread was a little bit much
for Game one. I did not think the Pacers were
gonna win. Yeah, but they're just amazing. They're just so fun.
(15:36):
Like Halliburton is gonna have such a summer. He is
gonna be on every commercial. And I love that. I
love seeing the young guys in the league starting to
ascend and us like getting to know them more, because
this is really like the changing of the guard for
the NBA. It is, yeah, because none of the old
guys are old guys. You guys know you're not old
the old guard og, the old guard. The ogs are
(15:56):
not in this guard.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I know.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
You got to leave really quick. Question what's the most
you ever want with a bet? A sports bet? What's
the most you ever want?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
A couple of thousand?
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Okay, all right, yeah I'm not I'm gonna pay my runt,
you know. But like this is what I'm saying. I
need you to come check me and anytime you're anytime.
So them guys are New York guys who come put
some red flags.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I love New York red but thank you
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Well,
Way Up With Angela Yee News
Host
Angela Yee
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