May 30, 2024 • 61 mins
Now we all know how hard it is to date in this era as we have online dating, gender dynamics etc. but have you ever had an issue dating someone that may be hiding their sexuality? In this episode of We Talk Back, Tambam and AJ discuss an article on ways you may be able to tell if someone is hiding their true sexuality. Also during the episode, they share how their impact of past relationships have effected future interactions, the differences in trust and vulnerability between men and women, the emotional and practical considerations of navigating such relationships and more. Lets discuss in the socials below.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
and the Black Effect Network.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
So you're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion
who talks back.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in for a
new episode that We Talk Back and show dedicated to
you dreamers and chases Niggas in you house. Yea, it's
your co host, AJ Holliday. What's up, tam Bam.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hey y'all, it's tam ma'am. I love y'all. I love
you AJ. How you doing?
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I love you more? I am well, y'all. I am
uh still waking up in the morning. Gotta thank God.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Let me tell you something. Losing weight, There is no
finish line to this ship. There is is a marathon.
Now you never win. You never win this race. You're
running forever.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
You could follow funk off.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yeah yeah, I'm like, I took a couple, like a
couple of days off and I got on the scale
and the scale was like, oh hey, here go a
pound or two back on my god damn all weekend.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I was saying, like, because something clicked in my head
the last couple like after my little bath, I tried
to wash a lot of things down the dream after
my last spiritual bath, so some shit clicked in my head.
Over the weekends, I've been going kind of hard, but
you can't eat shit. And then when I actually subscribe
(01:29):
to my fitness Powder's time too, because that has helped
me to pass, like logging your calories and shit like that.
And then also this dude on Instagram had like a
whole old formula, like a very simple formula for losing weight,
like how much you need to eat, like your macros
and stuff like that, and you know, my fitness power
tracks that shit. But yesterday was like, you didn't eat enough.
(01:50):
I'm not either, because next thing I eat, as soon
as I eat something, I'm a gaining the couple pounds.
I don't lost that exactly. Man, Shit, you can't eat,
you can't drink, you can't do shit.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Just sitting in the house and stuck down water. That's it.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Now. I have been making some lime water because you
know that helped burn calories too, you know, So I've
been putting line in my water.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I've been doing like apple cider vinegar.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I took up that tears my stomach up. Really, I
mixed it.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
With water drink that down, take my beat my d
three vitamins. Then I go back with some SSS tonic.
That shit nasty as, but it's so good for you.
It's iron. I needed my iron below mm hmm. And
there's some chlorofy it seems.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Like the I do chloropho every day too, pussy bee
m while y'all over there with all them suppositories, y'all
be sticking up, y'all, ship just get your water, we mermaids,
you know, so you smell a little fishy, you need
some clean water, like because that ship. Them suppositories don't
(02:58):
get rid of in fact, and stuff like that, Like people,
what kind of stuff to a sign of those those
boric acid positories.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Listen, if things get a little randy down there, I
will shoot one of them up there.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Hello, What what kind of word was that your mama
be saying that?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Actually I used that word completely incorrectly. Rand is like aroused.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Oh they ran dad, that's some old shit, Helen. You know, y'all,
this past weekend was the morre of day weekend? What
you had going on? Tom, They're all.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I looked at my bank account and they said stay home, right,
So Friday night I went outside a new bar opened
up right across the street from my house, and I
went to it for that grand opening. It's cute. It's
like a little hookah spot. It's really small. I hung
out there on Friday night just for a minute because
someone was like, hey, pull up, so I went there.
(04:02):
But then Saturday and Sunday and Monday, God said, stay home, baby,
where it's free. So I went. I got a rooftop
pool and it was kind of like a club up there.
Everybody was up there drinking, you know, having We had
like a little my homegirl got like a portable plastic hookah.
It's perfect for the pool because you're not supposed to
have glass up there. So we was up there smoking
(04:24):
the little hookah, having our drinks and swimming and stuff.
It was a good time. And I did that all week.
And if it's free, it's for me.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Period. Man, were saving money all twenty twenty four. What
you just got got responsibilities? Let me see. So did
I go out Friday night?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
My mama said, what you're doing for your birthday? Set
trying not to be homeless?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
That part part, that part, because like my birthday is
next Saturday. A bitch got bills Okay, right, I'm gonna
pay my bills for my birthday. I might get a
bird or a cat. I'm still the vigging, so.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
That's no, get a bird.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah, I don't know, because I do want another dog.
But dogs are like high meetenance, you know what I'm saying.
Like birds, you can beat that bitch in the cage.
Cats really be fitting for themselves. Dogs you gotta damn
to take that nigga with you.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Listen, with a bird, you gotta make sure you temperature
control that house though, because you don't want to be
like Gina and my Mama bird.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
No, you gotta make sure the fans ain't knowing if
that nigga be out. You know what I'm saying, Your
bird be that flew up in the fan. Ooh, nine
hundred dollars down a dream just that week. Damn bird,
nine hundred dollars. I'm like, how long has this nigga
been in the store?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
What kind of bird? Nine dollars?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
A sun conyr parakeet, That's what I want. They're a
little bit bigger, but they loud as hell, though talking
it's the only thing so but but they do talk.
Though they do talk. You can teach them to dance
and all the type of shit. But I went out Sunday,
so there was a whole this weekend was a whole
(05:58):
lot of gang shit going on in this city from
World Day weekend. And it did rain some also. It
was like acting like Miami or some shit off and
on rains for Saturday and Friday. And Saturday my Sunday,
I went to a after party for a white party,
so the majority people was in there were white on Bitch.
I came in through the white parties dressing all black
(06:20):
like jeezy. Okay it was and yeah, that was fun.
I hadn't been to a club in a long time,
I feel like, aside from when we went to the
Strip Club a couple of weeks ago. But I just
be feeling old as fuck in the club. Okay, I
know I look younger than them, goddamn gen Z's or whoever,
(06:40):
but I'd be feeling old as hell around them. Bitch,
my knee was hurting, do you hear me? Because Sunday
morning I worked out real hard, so now I got
these high ass heels on in the club and my
knee started buckling. And look my cousin when she talks
like she she's like those people that's like real touchy
when she talking and standing leaning on you, I'm like, yo,
(07:01):
I need a kickstand. I cannot hold up your body
weight and mine, you know, like I swear if you
hit me one more time while laughing and talking, I'm
a falling. Like I was really struggling to get the
fuck up out of there with my knees attack. I
had to sit down and rub my knee out.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Oh yeah, you was in there.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Because I did a lot of squats. Yeah, but you was.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Your knee hurting from squats mean your form might not
been a.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Good or or I haven't done any in a long time.
Maybe that's what it is, because if this ain't even
squatt on, no dick.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
You doing ship you needed this year? Last night my
phone was so dry. I kept calling you like he's like,
why this bitch callow me so much? You got nobody else?
And I told you I've got no dick for you.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
She did say that. I said, yes, you want loved.
I sent you to Alley Hoot once in lifetime already,
I'll like, no more dick to sent over there. I
don't even know other niggas. No more Okay, you neither neither.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, let's don't know. These niggas get in the scenes. Girl.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
So I saw that, and I love Vivica Fox. I
think she's dope. So Vivica Fox basically says that, you know,
she thinks she's ready for a husband now. And I'm
pretty sure this lady has been trying to get married
over the years. I don't think that she's just been
outside her whole life ring. Just like all of us,
(08:40):
we'd be looking for our other half. So the headline says,
sixty year old Vivica Fox says she's finally looking for
a husband and she's taking boyfriend applications. So listen if
y'all listen to the show and got some money. Okay,
Vivica Fox looking for a husband, she said, I'm getting
(09:01):
She said no, she said, I'm not getting on an
app He must be fun, loves to travel, not intimidated
by who I am, and lets me spend money going shopping.
Open to all races. Okay, So Auntie is not limiting
herself to just black men only, because statistically, you'll be
dying alone. Okay. So Hair goes some tweets, and of
(09:27):
course Kevin Samuels pops up. You know, people were like
retreating pictures of him from heaven. Rip the Godfather. Only
one to defeat him is death itself. Is one tweet.
Another says Kevin Sagues was right about you women, damn.
And this other one said, three thousand pounds later, I
(09:50):
hate men. Yeah, I'm convinced women hate their boyfriends slash husbands.
Always given the worst version of themselves to those guys.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
What makes that the worst version of herself? She's just older.
But here's the thing that shit do scare me. I
don't want to still be out here, sixties, still looking
for love. And I'd be like I told you.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
My mom and her homegirl, seventy year old cousin out here.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
My mom and her homegirls, they'd be like they in
their sixties, and they'd be like, we don't even want
no man, no more a man come second to a
good book in the glass of warm milk. My mom
will say that, I don't never want to.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Be like married women want to get up out of
that too. I don't married women want to get out
of these situations and be single.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I don't want that. I want me a husband.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Forever I was in Walmart. Yes, I did go to Walmart, y'all. Okay,
I was in Walmart and I was talking shit about something.
I was talking shit on the phone with my cousin
about men. I was saying something and then this lady
and her husband came on the aisle, nice looking black couple,
nice looking man, nice looking woman. And she was like, girl, sorry, girl,
(11:01):
I got the last good one. And I just laughed
because they were older, right, and he was a retired
police officer, and she was like, I got the last
good one, girl, Like, that's how I want to brag
on my husband in older age.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah, me too, that sounds good. Yes, I got the
last good one. You're gass him up.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, that's what his smile.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I don't feel like, wouldn't be gassing they mean up enough.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
I know I don't, y'all Listen, I'd really be working
it through a lot of working through a lot of
things that I grew up under the reiin of a
crazy lady. And one thing I know I do is
talk shit like my mama, Like I don't got nothing
nice to say about a nigga. You gotta find I'm
terrible because I because I do have nice things to
say every the little things in the other bad things
(11:51):
just irritate the fuck out of me. And I got
to tell somebody before I beat you up.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Well, I challenge you to like go up to him
today and be like, you know what, this, this, this,
and this.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
No, I do it. Okay, I do that in person.
I'm talking about when I talk about my significant others
to other people.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Yeah, well today I want you to be like, go
up to somebody.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Man, I got the last good one and so he
fucking not don't say that part, but okay, so what
the vificult foxes? So a couple of nice men did
do some nice sweets. This last one says there's no
age limit for getting married. Plenty of men around her
(12:35):
age that may have just lost a spouse, recently divorced,
or have never been married themselves. This woman is allowed
to want companionship. The only person who determines her worth
is God. These comments are silly, listen because men, y'all
come in all shapes and sizes. Y'all change within a
relationship to Your hair is balding. You already was short,
(12:56):
your stomach getting big, your dickens. See nice used to
always complains a woman can say about you and men
is like, ah, guess why somebody stole wants a three
thousand pound woman. Okay, she's not three when I watch
I'm talking about based on that comment, because when I
watch six hundred pounds life, like, all of them always
(13:17):
have a man.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I don't know what quality, but they keep one exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
So fuck y'all. Okay that part because I feel the
same way about some of the guys. I went to
high school, but y'all was so fine back then. When
I see you now, like we don't even look like
be in the same age group.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I feel like you being mean and niggas right now,
not all niggas did that.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I am not being mean and niggas. You saying that
now people will be like, she being mean and niggas,
and I'm not being mean.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I am.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I am just showing both sides of the thing. Like,
while y'all talk crazy about Vivica Fox, here are the
things she's going to be up against, being this fine
ass sixty year old woman, you know, trying to stow
a comparable meat.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Please, God, you know where's my husband this year? I
don't want to be out here sixty still trying to
find a mate.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Did you ever write down, like the things that you
wanted a man?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Have you done that yet, like really created a list?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yes, I'm going to try and manifest exactly what you
want and need for your life and be very specific.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I speak it, but I've never written it. But I
definitely speak it, and I'm holding out.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I'm waiting.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
My I be twitching writing it down. My I be
twitching every day. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Did you see this? Damn Mayor maryor chuck this girl?
Shut up? He from Helena Wes Alena, Arkansas. A mid
South mayor, is apologizing for his behavior after a viral
video showed him arguing with his family members. Now the
family members are his is, his daughter and his niece
(14:59):
and if video live streaming on Facebook Helena West Helena
mayor Christopher Franklin intensely yelling at his daughter and niece. Uh,
he says, Jala, you're a whole No, she's no excuse me,
see me, he said, Jaala, your whole ass. All you're
doing is popping tricks. Frank can be Franklin can be
heard saying, and Jayla, you act like you my daughter.
(15:21):
You ain't even been something I don't know. You are
the blink between my blink. Eat this blink. You and
Shanayah dropped to your mother's to your mother f and
knees and eat this blink.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Tell me your daughter to a niece to get on
her knees and eat your dick is crazy.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
That's as bad as diabolical, right.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
I don't care how mad it lasted for several minutes.
I don't care how mad you are. Then that was
not what you were supposed to say to your daughter.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
I can only imagine why they acting the way they
are towards you, if that's how you be talking to
them exactly, because I just feel like nothing will ever
make me that mad at my son where I would
tell him to eat my ass or something like what
is happening? You obviously didn't raise them. You didn't raise
your daughter because you could not possibly talk to a
(16:14):
daughter that you raise like actively like that. You act
like that's a stranger.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yeah, and he don't need to be talking like that too, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Not, and know you're doing it on a public platform.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Apologize party for his family. Nigga girl, you ought to be.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Somebody said, what type of Mary gets online? And talks
like this, ask Klena West Selena resident Kimberly Hinder, a
hard Hartisan, she believed Franklin's apology should not shield him
from being held accountable for his behavior as an elected official.
I want him to step down or be removed from
yor absolutely. Yeah, he needs to go on and find
(16:57):
a different profession and seek help first. Now we don't
see what led to that, you know, because there's been
other people in the past who have cussed out Kirk
Franklin did it to his adult son. He ain't tell
him to suck his dick. No, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
No.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
That is just so weird and wild for a father
to tell his daughter some ship like that. I couldn't imagine.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Listen, I understand sometimes your kids get on your nerves
and you might cuss them out. My mama definitely has
cussed me out in this lifetime, and I'm okay with it.
I probably deserved it. But she ain't never tell me
to eat her kouchie that like that, Like that's crazy,
that's insane for your period to ever say that. Yeah,
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
He doesn't see her ass his daughter, And there's no way,
y'all summer is here. Okay, Juna's Juna's hair is Gemini season,
Jim and Jim and Gemini season. And if you're trying
to take some trips this summer, y'all, I want to
(18:01):
check out this app called fly me Out. Okay, this
this is a real thing. It's an app called fly
me Out. Y'all can download it. I won't be using it.
I hope Tam won't be using it.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I thought about it, but yo, I don't want to
be sex traffic.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
That's what it sounds like to me. It sounds like
you might end up missing. You're being you. It's basically
like a dating website and obviously it's it's men flying
women out. You could put an application in to be
flown out, and they have all these luxury places you
can go to on the app with these different men.
(18:45):
That's insane. Well, I didn't know the app, so I
don't know what's in there.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
That just sounds like a recipe for disaster. You just
getting on the app and like going to Hawaii with
a complete stranger because they put it in the app.
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
We just had an episode on pimping like this is
pimping like this is like legal pimping, like setting up
an app where you charge. I'm pretty sure both people
have a subscription, a man and a woman, and you
are getting a percentage from them paying for sex, because
that is essentially what's going on.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah, because it ain't just fly me out and come
experience this island. Y'all know this.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
White girls. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be white young girls. Okay,
you know it's for whatever reason. It almost seems like
white women can't be holes, but everybody always want to
bash black women. Me.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I know about I know some white hoes.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
We do, women do, but it just seems like men
don't consider them holes to be hoes.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I don't know. I don't know how this.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
White men do not be concerned about the knowledge on
them coucheese because college and shit like that. It goes down. Yeah,
do with them white girls and nobody cares. They get
to go on and have a family and they probably
be doing three things the ship with their husbands to wife,
swapping out all types of shit, and they don't get judged.
(20:09):
They just get to exist. Black women.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I don't know, Black women, we might, they might get judged.
We just don't live inside their bubble and that's why
we don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
But it's like, you know, you're a fucking horde, but
the man gonna don't marry you. You know you're a whore.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
I know a lot of just married.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
But are they husband gonna be calling them a hole?
Because I feel like white men be really burrating their wife. Man, Susan,
shut up, you're a fucking horror, like, and it's less
that we're still gonna be together. Yeah, that's crazy, And
she's probably saying shit to him, like, yeah, remember you
(20:53):
were Jeff in college.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
You were Jeff in college.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
You were with Jeff in college. Oh shit, yeah, I
remember you and Jeff in college. That goes into our
wild boys back then. That goes into.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Our topic for today.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, that definitely is a great segue into this week's topic. Y'all.
I had some little things going on this weekend and
it made me think about because this is conversations I
definitely have had with Tim and a couple of my
couple other friends, like what would you do if you're
in a relationship with a guy and he tells you,
like straight up, not even a relationship or friendship. He
(21:39):
tells you that he's bisexual. Like, we don't know what
we would do until it happens, I think, but I
want to talk about it. What are we doing? We'll
be right back after the break, all right, y'all. So
we're back, and the world of dating is scare re, okay.
(22:06):
And I want to preface this conversation by saying, listen,
because people have said some really mean things about me
in the past. I'm not homophobic. Okay, you're heterophobic butt,
that's right. But it's just something that women have to
deal with, right because there are a lot of men
out out here that even though they could be forty
(22:27):
years old, they might still be trying to figure out
their sexuality. So what happens when you encounter somebody in
that process or they already got it figured out? And hey,
you know, I like you, but I've also dated men
in the past. Can you date a man, Tam who
is openly bisexual?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Hell no, I said, hell no, And let me tell
you why, because not because I have anything against bisexual people.
Live your life, do what you want to do. Fuck
who the fuck I don't care for me is I
can't constantly live with the idea that I have to
(23:07):
worry about niggas and women. I already have trust issues,
and now I'm worried about you fucking bitches and niggas.
That's just too much. It's just too much for me.
I can't worry about it. I can't be concerned with
that because I already don't trust men. It's hard for
me to trust me in period. So yeah, no, it's
(23:29):
not gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And I think that's the sentiment that most women have, right.
Their concern is always the man, then being promiscuous with
men and women, right, And it does get sketchy. I
don't give a damn what y'all say is just levels
to this shit, right, and that is an extreme level
of cheating. But we shouldn't assume that just because a
man is gay, right, that he or bisexual, that he
(23:56):
would cheat with a man. He may not even be
a cheater, you know what I'm saying. He may not
cheat on you with a man or a woman. It's
just his sexual preference. He likes egos both ways, but
whenever he's in a relationship with a person, that's who
he's with. For me, I could never engage in any
(24:18):
relationship with a man who is openly bisexual. When I
say openly meaning you told me, thank you. I appreciate
you for being honest, because there are a lot of
men who are never going to be honest with themselves
or anybody else, and they secretly do this stuff. There's
no way for me to know. So when I say
openly gay, openly bisexual, you told me, right, I just
(24:40):
think that there's a different mindset for people who go
both ways, like that's just their lifestyle. It's just a
different mindset that I don't have, because I feel like
even in conversation with some men. I remember one night
my homegirl, we met up with one of her friends.
(25:00):
Gay guy, big ass, gay guy. He like six ' five,
nice looking, he does hair like nice looking guy. He
kept asking me if I wanted to have a baby
with him, like boy, he has a son, he said
he wanted more children. I'm like no, like so then
we got then at the bar, get into a whole
conversation about why men need to tell women that they
(25:24):
are bisexual or that they have had sexual encounters with
men before, And he was arguing me down about how
that's not a woman's business, Why doesn't matter who the
man has been with before. Why doesn't matter who a
person has been with it matters.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I think it matters.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Let's talk about why it matters.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
But all right, hold on, here's the thing. Because if
a man asked me about my past, you the only
one my holdness get deleted. So is it for me
to say I need to I don't have to tell
my sexual history, and then require a man to tell
his sexual history. That seems like a double standard.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
It is, and I'm it's just is. So there's a
lot of double standards against women. One, you can't be
a whole You're gonna get judged for it, right, that's
a double standard that we live with. There's a lot
of things that men do that we just simply can't
do without judging getting some type of public shame and
judgment about it. Right. And to me, bisexual men, there's
(26:34):
no such thing. You're a gay man. I don't believe
that there's such thing as bisexual men. What you're just gay?
You're just gay. And I need to know that you
have had sex with a man, because it's a different
type of mindset, like I don't want to deal with.
It just comes with other things, not just the sexual thing.
(26:58):
It's just the whole the way they think. Like this
man arguing me down about not he doesn't feel like
you should have to tell a woman that you've been
with a man before you. I feel like you have
to because if I ask you a question and you
tell me a lie, now you're being deceitful. Right, Why
are you being deceitful? Why do you feel like you
need to withhold that information? Because there's a reason.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
The reason is because, especially I think in the black community,
why a man would want to withhold their information is
because black women don't accept you back. Once you go gay,
once you have a sexual experience with same sex as
a black man, it's hard to come back to women.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
That's not true that there's a lot of women out here.
Like listen, during the pandemic, I was on a clubhouse
heavy It was so many women on there. Like in
these conversations who said they prefer bisexual women, so many
prefer a lot yes, in conversation out of the years,
like there are women out here that you could be
(27:59):
your self with.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I agree, but I but I you know, just based
on my experience, maybe it's in my age group, they're
not as open to bisexual men like, once you go
you know, same sex, it's hard to come back to women.
They I won't accept you back me personally, I'm not.
And that's just my preference because I already told you
(28:22):
I can't deal with like you going on a boy's trip.
The fuck you going on a boys trip for a
motherfucker like I can't. I don't have time for that.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
See and look, that's another double standard. And men like
to talk about us. Oh, y'all go on girls trips
and y'all be eating each other a's KOUCHI that is
not happening on girls trips, okay amongst the friend group.
Oh you Busty knows what shit. I don't know, because
I'm never eating kouchie in the first place. I'm definitely
not eating my homegirl Cucci. So you need to tell me.
(28:53):
Bitches be over it. Y'all. Niggas might got some validity
with this the way tam just look, I don't know,
I don't always, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
I don't know anything about we're saints. I never ate
no Kouchie on no girl's trip, So.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
That's what I'm saying. So I mean maybe somebody like
somebody on the island, some other woman outside the friend
group by the eight a friend's kucci. But I had
the homegirls that's hanging out, going on a girl's trip
and somebody's eating each like what.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
I mean, I've never done that, but I've seen it happen.
You know how they say who Richard Pryor and who
had six? It was drugs? They ah, Marlon Brando or
something like that. Yes, mm hmm, it was you know,
drugs alcoholic and those are men, That's what I'm saying.
So when my man keeps wanting to go on these
(29:47):
guide trips and I can't go ever, you just have
this one homeboy, you do you remember that online?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
It was like a post. It was a guy that
it was a woman saying that. You know, she's asking
for other people's opinion because her boyfriend or husband you know,
was going on his little annual boy strip with his
homeboy and she demanded to go this go around. He
had his wife sitting in coach while him and his
(30:14):
homeboy was in first class.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Oh my god, So why because he didn't want her
to be there.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
He didn't want her to be there like this is
his Like that's the red flag for me.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Well, why should Demanda go? Why should demand of going?
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Honestly, because she probably felt she probably it's just him
and it's one other person. It's not like it's multiple
people on his boys strip. It's just her guy and
his homeboy.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
But it's like, what if me and my best friend
want to go to a nice spot in Arizona or
something like that on the SPA trip and my man.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
She already had reservations about him.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Okay, she has some sexual why she was.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Pushing the issue. Yeah, I mean she already felt like
he was on some little creepy shit.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
But just a vacation, Just a vacation.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yes, and you are not invited, wifey, you stay at
home with the churn. But he put his wife in
coach child, and he was in first class with his
his nigga.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I mean, that happens. It happens.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I just I'm not signing up for anything like that. Like,
I can deal with a man wanting a woman or
cheating with women, but how do you compete when your
man is cheating with men? Like you can try to
do all the things, like you might try to introduce
anal sex. You know what I'm saying. Maybe he likes it.
Maybe he's like, could you imagine your man being the bottom,
(31:45):
dough dog, This is your husband and he's the bottom,
and that that's a whole nother level. Yeah, he's the
bottom for other men.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
That's the thing. I You know, that would make me
a man because now you like me, If you're taking
dick like me, then now i'm you know, And I
don't want to offend anybody with that statement, because it's like,
I'm not a man if I take dick. I'm not
saying you're not a man if you take dick.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
I'm not saying that. I'm just saying we both take dick.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
So now I feel like me and you on a
more level playing field. You know what I'm saying? Is
that fair? Just I would emsculate him, I would.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
I mean, it just depends on his demeanor, Like even
though he takes dick, he is not a masculine man.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
If I find out my nigga took some dick. As
soon as we get into.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
An argument, I thought you was working on that using
vulnerabilities against people.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Listen, that's just one of them. That's just gonna I'm
a like if I ever had that, that's an easy one,
right there for the take. It, it's right there for
the taking. I'm sorry that's fucked up, but it's true.
I'm being honest. So I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah, Yeah, and I would want I need a woman on,
Like I actually put a little kite out there to
see if anybody would bite to actually be able to
come on the show to talk about their their situation
and talk about you know, were you ever in a
relationship with a guy and he came out bisexual, or
did you knowingly engage in a relationship with somebody who
was honest and upfront with you about their sexuality and
(33:28):
you you know, maybe it was a great relationship, maybe
with other things that caused y'all not to be together anymore.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Or maybe they're still together, or you couldn't.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Actively be in it. Yeah, because I don't want I
don't believe that these people can't carry on healthy relationship,
you know what I'm saying, because we already know it's
a lot of heterosexual men with much I don't call
it mental illness, but a whole lot of gangshit be
going on their damn minds, all right. But I feel
(33:56):
like some of those men who act out on women,
maybe battling their sexuality. I feel like men who put
their hands on women are sometimes they just they like,
you know, pussy. They like sex with women, but they
don't necessarily like women, and they probably like prefer their homeboy.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Well that's the thing. That's what I was saying to
you yesterday, is like if vagina wasn't wet, I probably
would be a lesbian, Like because I trust the counsel
of women more. I feel safer with women. I feel
like my vulnerabilities are more safe with women as of
(34:38):
Like I just I haven't really met a lot of
men that I could trust with my vulnerable self to
care for my heart. Yeah, I don't feel like I
meet a lot of men that I can do that with.
Where I just feel safer around women, which is is
crazy because I should feel safeer around men, right, But
I just do.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
But I just don't like titties.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Flapping all over the place and kuchie all went and stuff.
You know.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
That's why I'm like, listen, I know I can't be
a lesbian because I don't like nothing moist. I don't
like nothing like OUI gooky, like it's an oyster. I
like oysters you know, I eat a whole bushel of them,
but I don't, that's what and weave between my legs
like I'm cool on that ship. It's just it's just
too much. And you know another thing, I don't know
(35:29):
a gay couple that doesn't fight. I'm talking about two
women because they it's very volatile period up and yeah, yeah,
like so I don't.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
And then I'm work with a bitch than I am,
you know, a nigga.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
And I feel like if a man pissed you off,
at least he can drop that dick on you, Okay,
at least he can like make you feel better that way.
Now this girl got to go get this goddamn plastic
bullshit that's bending in and it's like it's some woman
love that. How fun dick looked on here? That dick
(36:09):
she pulled out, that black aude at it. That dick
was from Filo, That dick came from.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Yeah, that cheap ass dick on head girl, If you're
gonna put that dick up, not a paper mache that
did came out the discount basket at the x X
sex Story.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Nothing appealing about that dick. I don't want it at
least you can get a nice warm penis after this
man pissed you off. Meanwhile, you're in the house with
this bitch. Y'all periods, Sun SYNCD up you mad about now?
Y'all fighting? Now DV charge is involved. Like that's what.
I don't know A couple that doesn't fight.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
A gay couple that doesn't fight.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Yeah, the the women that I know, they be going
at it.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
My sister, my older sister, is in a lesbian Mary
and they are like two little peas in the pot.
They ain't always been like that, though, but now it's
sickening how much they like each other. You FaceTime and
stay in there singing Whitney Houston together. I'm like, y'all,
bitch is wag, I'm about to go?
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Why? Is that why you want a girlfriend? I don't
want a girlfriend. I'm just saying, like, I just have
better relationships with women, but not I wouldn't want to
have an intimate relationship with a woman for real.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Yeah, because just yeah, because men, men are traumatizing. I
have been traumatized in every relationship I've been in. Yeah,
I don't. I don't have one relationship where I didn't.
It didn't change me, not for the better, you know
what I'm saying. Yeah, partially, you know you do, you know,
do things a little bit differently, But I do move
(37:50):
on to the next situation. Like I've never been hurt before.
I don't let it like hinder me. But it really
be some internal shit you gotta work out.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
That's what about to say, Like some of the shit
you just carry you unknowingly, you know, like you carry
it with you and it affects how you well. Speaking
for me, it affects how I navigate in the next
relationship some of the things. So I do take it
with me sometime and hopefully, I mean, I've been single
for a minute now, so we'll see how this next
thing go. I think I'll be a lot better with
(38:19):
you know, I can be real spicy with my tongue,
but I've been trying to work on how I deliver
my assault rifle.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
You just gotta get it. You just gotta get a
son of a bitch girl and they'll be okay with
your tongue.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
No, I don't want that by saying, because you get
a son of a bitch, she was okay with a
tongue being spicy. His tongue might be spicy too, and
then we have kids and he telling our daughter good
down on your knees.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Oh shut up, I don't want no.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Man who's okay with that?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Yeah he's wild. Well, so I found this article on
very well Mind, verywellmind dot com on relationships. It says
how do you cope when your spouse comes out as gay?
So even on this website, they're not calling it bisexual,
They're just like he's gay. Right. It starts off by
(39:16):
saying people change. I don't think that's true. I think
in this particular situation, you already knew, you know, you
just didn't let it come out right. So I don't
think you could be forty years old and then just
change to gay or bisexual. This is something you probably
always wanted to experience, you probably had been experiencing. But
(39:38):
if you didn't experience it, you are doing it now, right,
So whatever, I don't think it was a change. Though
it says people.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Change, it's definitely a change.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
If you it is a change already. That's a change
to me, Yo, big change. People take longer to find themselves.
Life will always throw you curveballs you never saw coming.
Finding out your partner is gay or queer is one
(40:10):
of those complicated situations that are both positive on certain
levels and devastating on others. It's a lot to unpack.
It says you may have had suspicions your partner was
somewhere on the Kinsey scale. I haven't looked that up
to see what a Kinsey scale is. It's probably like
the different sexual orientations. I guess it was. It says
(40:35):
right exactly said, lots of people are bisexual or by
curious and heterosexual relationships, and these relationships are so strong
lots of people. It's not until your partner tells you
directly that they are gay, as in they've realized that
they are more attracted to the same sex than the
opposite sex, that you may be facing a significant challenge. Okay,
(41:00):
so this is more talking. This is more so talking
like okay to a married and a woman is a
woman and man are married and the man says, hey,
I'm gay, Like, yeah, I'm with you, but I actually
prefer men.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
What do you don't know?
Speaker 1 (41:18):
What would you?
Speaker 2 (41:18):
I don't know what to do with that? How did
we get here?
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Yeah? Like what happened? Like? Were you being gay?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Tod? It's kind of like, uh, the Kardashian what's her name?
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Oh, Chris Jenner?
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Chris, Yeah, I mean, well, but he not gay because
he don't like men.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
No, he's definitely gay. Yes, the guy, the excuse me,
the girl he was dating was a trans woman. It
was a young he was dating. Excuse me, say what
Caitlyn Jenner was dating a trans woman, which is technically like, yeah,
genetically a male. Yes.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Really, I thought he only dated women. No, I mean
she Excuse me, I thought, baby, this would be hard.
It's the whole I thought it. Okay, Formerly Bruce Caitlyn
dated women, so making her lesbian.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Bruce used to date women.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
I thought Caitly men too.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
No, Caitlyn was dating and you might have thought it
was a woman, but it was a trans woman. Oh okay. Yeah.
So the next part is the article says on finding
out your partner is gay, unless your spouse shares your
sexual orientation with you, there's no way to know for
sure if they are gay or queer. So call signs
like how your spouse talks, walks, dresses, or likes are
(42:54):
not indications of sexual orientation, nor are sexual preferences including
oil and anal sex. Rather than making assumptions. The best
way to know for sure is to have an open
dialogue with your spouse. You'd never want to directly out
your partner, It's okay to bring up observations you've had
about them while emphasizing your love and support for them
(43:16):
no matter what they say. If your partner isn't ready
to talk about it, accept that truth. They will come
out to you whenever the time is right. This experience
is just hard for them, if not more as it
is for you.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I yeah, that's got to be hard to tell someone,
especially if you're in a heterosexual relationship and then you
come out and say, hey, I don't want to be
heterosexual anymore. It's got to be hard, and you know,
I'm honestly quite brave to do that if you live
a heterosexual lifestyle forever, especially for a man. I think
(43:55):
for women it's a lot easier because.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
Yeah, like that's the standard.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Right, Yeah, because if you tell your husband like more acceptable,
guess what, baby think I was so pissy? What do
you think he be?
Speaker 3 (44:09):
Like?
Speaker 4 (44:09):
Shit, me too babulous, you know, but not so much
to do it the other way around, Whereas if some
men not okay with that shit either, like they're not
okay with their girls sleeping with women all the time
without them, with or without them.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Like everybody not okay with that situation, right, But I
feel like it's more okay. It would be in the opposite.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Right, and in my fear would be like, you're in
a relationship with this bisexual man, like who was honest upfront,
told you you get into the thing, and then he
he tells you he wants a man. He then is
honest with you again, right and says it says, you know,
I want a man for a little bit. What do
you do?
Speaker 2 (44:55):
I mean, if you was down with it from the beginning,
I don't see why you.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
No, because you're not actively doing a thing, you know
what I'm saying. You just let me know that you
have done the thing before it Well, okay, I guess
that's actively.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
I mean, if you're not okay with him being with
anybody outside of you, then okay. But if you're okay
with him like fucking a woman but not a man, well,
why'd you get with a bisexual man in the first place?
If you were only okay with him having sex with
a woman. You see what I'm saying, Like that don't
make sense.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yeah, yes, wow. The article says, while while the following
signs may relate to your spouse's sexual orientation, they can
also be attributed to other problems in their life or
your marriage. You notice your spouse has lost interest in
sex or has trouble engaging in sex. Do you think
(45:51):
that's a that's a sign. I mean, that could be
a sign of cheating. It may not be a sign
that he's dealing with men, right, he might.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
I mean, did you get fat? Did you get skinny?
Like somethingbody to change where he's just not said.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Y'all got y'all ain't got no money for the bills
like men stress about that type of shit too. I
don't want to have sex.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
You notice your spouse has a sense of confusion about themselves.
I wonder what that looks like.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
I don't know, like niggas trying to grow braids or
something out of nowhere, Like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
What a man weave.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
I'm not against the man we'ves because some of these
niggas be.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
You should be looking good, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
As long as you keep it up and it ain't
flapping off in the wind.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
And don't be asking me to do it.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
No, I'll tack your ship back down if it's coming up.
We got somewhere to be.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
No, this is a big giant red flag. And I
actually have went in a nigga phone to see if
I see anything like that. Yes, you know thisice pops
pop ups of gay pornography or dating sites on their devices.
I've looked. I've looked through somebody's porn hub history before.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Have you I stay out of nigga's phones. I just
I don't ruin my own good day. I never.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
I mean, I I don't either. But what I'm saying
is I have. And the thing is I am capable
of going through a nigga phone and never telling them.
Men can't. They can't go through your shit and not
address what they see. I can go through a man's
phone and never mention this not me because I am
choosing to be happy.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
Me choosing to be happy is not going through that ship,
because if I go through it and I see something,
it's gonna show on my face. Even if I don't
say nothing like damn, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Nothing? It's over. It's over.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
I'm just gonna I'm gonna turn up at some point.
So I just don't even look Stevie.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
You know what I do. I turn up when you
turn up on me. I saved my ship for those days,
and that is toxic. Yeah, they're nothing.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Yes, it is my two pulling out us a joker cart.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
And I took pictures of the ship. I got a
whole fucking folded for your ass. Okay, from ship from
your phone while you're trying to address some shit I did.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
I'm saying something.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Here's another one. You notice a new group of friends
on their social media, many of whom are openly gay
or queer. Now I have definitely there is some guys
I know, and I've looked in there, like why are
you all these gay dudes following you? These are clearly
gay men, like they having spitos and shit like that
on on their page. Always got muscle, Always take a
(48:45):
pictures from the back, you know what I'm saying, Like
these are why why are you following these people?
Speaker 2 (48:50):
If they're following Like, if someone's following you, you can't
really control. And I wouldn't say like, oh, especially if
my man is like popular or in some sort like
entertainer or something like that, and he got gay men
following them, I can't. I wouldn't be mad at that.
But if he's following a lot of gay men in return,
that ain't like friends that he grew up with or someone,
(49:12):
because I mean, you can't fast your nigga for like
growing his cousin gay. This is his first cousin, right,
you know, like.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
What he's gonna do, right, they grew up together.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
Yeah, that's that's my that's my guy, you know, either way,
But yeah, following a bunch of new gay people gay men,
it's wild. It's interesting.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
So do mixed orientation relationships work? Mixed orientation couples are
those in which the partners do not share the same
sexual orientation. Examples of mixed orientation couples include partnerships in
which one partner is straight and the others not, but
could also include relationships in which one partner identifies as
a lesbian and the other identifies as bisexual. For example,
(49:56):
according to one study, there are up to two million
couples in which one member identifies as straight and the
other does not. Among these couples, when a gay or
lesbian or bisexual partner comes out, a third of the
couples break up. Immediately. Yeah, that would be me. I'm
out of there. Another third stay together for one to
(50:17):
two years and then split. The remaining third try to
make their marriages work. Of these, half of these half
split up while the other halfs stay together for three
or more years, so they try to work it out.
I just think that that is not something I think
that can be worked out. I think ultimately, people in
(50:37):
their relationships like you, Chris, Chris, Chris Jenner and Caitlin
like they are still friends. They're still friends. They like
I can't compete with that, and that's that's all I
could be with you is your friend that.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
I'm trying to think Actually, let's say being Let's say
I get with someone tomorrow and here I am fifty
four now and he says, hey, I love you. I
don't want us to split up, but I have this
desire that I've never acted on, and we're getting older
(51:15):
and I just want to experience this. And he's done
all the things that he's loved me. Fully, would I
be able to just walk away because he wanted to
experience a man? Yes? I would. I thought about it
for a second. Yes I would, Yes, I would. And
I don't want like, I just listened to myself, and
(51:38):
I know I don't want any gay men or bisexual
men to be offended by what I'm saying, because it's
not a hatred, and we're allowed to have preference, and
it's not a judgment on anything y'all do. It's just
my preference on what I desire for my partner, and
I just don't want my partner to also enjoy dick.
(52:00):
That wrong, Absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
And I feel like if people would, you know, work
on themselves first before they get into relationships anyway, you know,
and you can come in the situation as your whole
self and give people all information upfront so they know
what they're dealing with, Like, give me the opportunity to
determine whether or not, you know, after I got all information, right,
I can make a sound decision based on this information.
(52:26):
But do not put my life in your hand.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
What if you get with a nigga who don't want
to fuck with men, but he wants you to do
some seemingly homosexual things to him, like pagan or something
like that.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Some women like pagan men. I don't want a man
who likes getting pegged. I'm sorry, I'm not that but
that's not a kink of mine. Listen. I have definitely
put a finger in a couple butts, but if a
man actually wants me to strap up, I don't feel
comfortable doing that to him. I don't. And you know
I say this a lot, but I think there's a
lot more men that are gay in the mind than
(53:04):
have actually had sex with a man. Like they think
about it often, but they may never ever act on it.
Do you consider that I don't. I mean, you can't
consider them gay right because they've never actually engaged in
the act of But those could be the people that,
you know, fifty years old come out like, man, I
want to do it now.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
What was that show, It's Black Mirror where they had
the episode of the two Homeboys. They had that virtual
reality game and they.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
But it still was a woman in there. And remember
on the one scene they kiss to see if something
like the two actual men in reality kiss.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
Yeah, And it was like right, and that ain't it?
They only wanted to have virtual Well.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
One of them was like mm mmm, that ain't it.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
I feel like both of them didn't really like each other.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
The married guy was like that ain't it. The other guy,
I think he liked him in real life like two men,
because remember the the married guy was the male in
the virtual reality, his homeboy was the female. That's how
the whole shit started.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
But they were having like the most the best, most
passionate experience virtually and in real life.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
That's just.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
And she let him do it once a year, like
and it was over like his birthday. He could log
into the game and knock his homeboy down.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
So all year long, you just waiting for this, this
is your moment. And she boyfriend didn't have nobody, I mean,
the homeboy didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (54:34):
And then she got to go out and sheet on
him though, like did she Yeah, she got to go
out and get real dick. So that was the trade off.
I didn't know that that was the trade off.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
I didn't I miss that part.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
That was the trade off. Which one is worse though,
because he's not even really sexually experiencing anybody. It's just
like a simulation where she really going to get knocked down,
which one is Uh.
Speaker 1 (55:04):
I think that the virtual it's just it's that's really mental.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
Yeah, it's really mental.
Speaker 1 (55:11):
Like, yes, the dick live dick is is physical.
Speaker 2 (55:15):
Yeah, I feel like you can't catch I ain't never
heard of AI std.
Speaker 1 (55:23):
AI baby. It's a disease of the mind.
Speaker 2 (55:26):
That's why it ain't no AI babies out there.
Speaker 1 (55:29):
So there is ye'all all right, So we're about to
wrap this up. But this last little piece, it says
things to do and not to do, like, if you
find out your spouse or significant other wants to dave okay, uh,
decide what what what you both can and cannot live with.
(55:51):
I can't live with it. Accept that it takes both
of you to make a marriage just as do Just
as any situation where there is possible infidelity, get checked
immediately for sexually transmitted infections, rather or not your partner
admits to any sexual infidelity. Take care of yourself as
(56:13):
you go through the grieving process. Your relationship has changed,
try to accept the reality and move forward. And the
last one says, do be careful about how you tell
your children. You may need professional guidance to deal with this.
It's important for them to love, for them to feel
loved and secure, and to know they're not responsible for
the state of the marriage or relationship. And then it says,
(56:38):
don't isolate yourself, seek support or professional help. Don't assume
that your marriage is over. Some straight slash gay marriages
are happy unions. However, studies show that out of fifteen
percent of couples who try to make it work, only
about seven percent make it over the long term. Yourself
(57:00):
for turning your partner gay. No one can turn someone
else gay, and I think men blame that. I just
can't hear a man saying it's your you the reason
why I'm gay. I can hear that happening because even
when they dick stop working, they want to blame us, like, oh,
you're not arousing me no more. No, accept the fact
that you might possibly have ed and go get the help.
(57:23):
Don't blame your woman for the penis not working anymore,
like you're just not attracted to her anymore. Yeah, I
know that this has happened to really girl. Depending on
what type of person you're dealing with, nothing is ever.
Speaker 2 (57:41):
Their fault, even they did nothing.
Speaker 1 (57:45):
Exactly. Oh, it's your fault. I'm just not attracted to you.
Speaker 2 (57:48):
No, you have ed, like, but maybe if it's getting
up with somebody else, then it might not. It might
be an issue between the twos. Well, it could be
very possible.
Speaker 1 (57:59):
Anyway, you got a last last for this child.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
Listen, if y'all don't want never mind, I just ain't
got time for the hate mail. I just ain't got
time for the hate mail. My last last is love
who you love. Love is a beautiful thing, and love
who you live. No, I ain't got time for that ship. Listen,
people be rinking me over the colds after I say something.
(58:27):
So I just love who you love. Used to love
who you love. Goddamn, I'm used to it.
Speaker 1 (58:33):
So my last last would be not love who you love,
be yourself. So who is gonna love? You can find you.
There are women out here who are okay with bisexual men.
You see Kendrick g. She does her little dating show
on Instagram, And there's a lot of enough, specifically from
(58:53):
Atlanta in in DC area. There are a lot of
men who be honest, like I'm looking for a man
or a woman like I do both, or I used
to be with men and now I'm looking for a
woman now. My only thing is, don't come over here
trying to trauma dump the shit you've had going on
with these men into my womb, Like I got a
problem with that.
Speaker 2 (59:16):
So basically, you saying love yourself and love who you love.
Speaker 1 (59:20):
Yeah, love yourself, so no, love yourself so you can
be loved, is what I'm saying. So somebody can love
you holy exactly who you are. You gotta be honest
with yourself first. Don't come over here with that bullshit
and let me choose. Let the women choose, let the
men choose what they want to deal with. That's all,
(59:41):
you know. I just be honest with yourself. Yeah, find
some do some soul searching, and find some self awareness
before you start engaging with other human beings on any
level and any type of relationship and any sexual orientation. Right,
and if you love dick, figure out.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
I don't care Tam love you anyway.
Speaker 1 (59:59):
I don't not love people. I mean, but they it's
not like my it's not my job. You need to
love yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
I love people, Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Me telling you I love you every day is knock
on to make you love yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
No, but some people don't hear it from nobody else,
so they get to hear from me if they listen
every week. That's how I feel like.
Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
Yeah that yeah baby? All right, y'all listen if you
enjoyed this episode, y'all Tune in every Thursday on the
Black Effect podcast, iHeartRadio app, wherever the fuck you get
your podcasts at. This is your co host, A J.
Holiday twin Oh. On Instagrams kick a Tam.
Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
You ain't say follow me now. If you want to
get on you always say that Yeah that part too.
Y'all's official on Instagram, I Love y'all. Remember to speak
now and never.
Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
Hold you what hold your sexual or never holding This
is y'all. Okay we talk back is the production of iHeartRadio.
Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.
Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
and the Black Effect Network.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
So you're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion
who talks back.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in for a
new episode that We Talk Back and show dedicated to
you dreamers and chases Niggas in you house. Yea, it's
your co host, AJ Holliday. What's up, tam Bam.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hey y'all, it's tam ma'am. I love y'all. I love
you AJ. How you doing?
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I love you more? I am well, y'all. I am
uh still waking up in the morning. Gotta thank God.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Let me tell you something. Losing weight, There is no
finish line to this ship. There is is a marathon.
Now you never win. You never win this race. You're
running forever.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
You could follow funk off.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yeah yeah, I'm like, I took a couple, like a
couple of days off and I got on the scale
and the scale was like, oh hey, here go a
pound or two back on my god damn all weekend.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I was saying, like, because something clicked in my head
the last couple like after my little bath, I tried
to wash a lot of things down the dream after
my last spiritual bath, so some shit clicked in my head.
Over the weekends, I've been going kind of hard, but
you can't eat shit. And then when I actually subscribe
(01:29):
to my fitness Powder's time too, because that has helped
me to pass, like logging your calories and shit like that.
And then also this dude on Instagram had like a
whole old formula, like a very simple formula for losing weight,
like how much you need to eat, like your macros
and stuff like that, and you know, my fitness power
tracks that shit. But yesterday was like, you didn't eat enough.
(01:50):
I'm not either, because next thing I eat, as soon
as I eat something, I'm a gaining the couple pounds.
I don't lost that exactly. Man, Shit, you can't eat,
you can't drink, you can't do shit.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Just sitting in the house and stuck down water. That's it.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Now. I have been making some lime water because you
know that helped burn calories too, you know, So I've
been putting line in my water.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I've been doing like apple cider vinegar.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I took up that tears my stomach up. Really, I
mixed it.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
With water drink that down, take my beat my d
three vitamins. Then I go back with some SSS tonic.
That shit nasty as, but it's so good for you.
It's iron. I needed my iron below mm hmm. And
there's some chlorofy it seems.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Like the I do chloropho every day too, pussy bee
m while y'all over there with all them suppositories, y'all
be sticking up, y'all, ship just get your water, we mermaids,
you know, so you smell a little fishy, you need
some clean water, like because that ship. Them suppositories don't
(02:58):
get rid of in fact, and stuff like that, Like people,
what kind of stuff to a sign of those those
boric acid positories.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Listen, if things get a little randy down there, I
will shoot one of them up there.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Hello, What what kind of word was that your mama
be saying that?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Actually I used that word completely incorrectly. Rand is like aroused.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Oh they ran dad, that's some old shit, Helen. You know, y'all,
this past weekend was the morre of day weekend? What
you had going on? Tom, They're all.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I looked at my bank account and they said stay home, right,
So Friday night I went outside a new bar opened
up right across the street from my house, and I
went to it for that grand opening. It's cute. It's
like a little hookah spot. It's really small. I hung
out there on Friday night just for a minute because
someone was like, hey, pull up, so I went there.
(04:02):
But then Saturday and Sunday and Monday, God said, stay home, baby,
where it's free. So I went. I got a rooftop
pool and it was kind of like a club up there.
Everybody was up there drinking, you know, having We had
like a little my homegirl got like a portable plastic hookah.
It's perfect for the pool because you're not supposed to
have glass up there. So we was up there smoking
(04:24):
the little hookah, having our drinks and swimming and stuff.
It was a good time. And I did that all week.
And if it's free, it's for me.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Period. Man, were saving money all twenty twenty four. What
you just got got responsibilities? Let me see. So did
I go out Friday night?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
My mama said, what you're doing for your birthday? Set
trying not to be homeless?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
That part part, that part, because like my birthday is
next Saturday. A bitch got bills Okay, right, I'm gonna
pay my bills for my birthday. I might get a
bird or a cat. I'm still the vigging, so.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
That's no, get a bird.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah, I don't know, because I do want another dog.
But dogs are like high meetenance, you know what I'm saying.
Like birds, you can beat that bitch in the cage.
Cats really be fitting for themselves. Dogs you gotta damn
to take that nigga with you.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Listen, with a bird, you gotta make sure you temperature
control that house though, because you don't want to be
like Gina and my Mama bird.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
No, you gotta make sure the fans ain't knowing if
that nigga be out. You know what I'm saying, Your
bird be that flew up in the fan. Ooh, nine
hundred dollars down a dream just that week. Damn bird,
nine hundred dollars. I'm like, how long has this nigga
been in the store?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
What kind of bird? Nine dollars?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
A sun conyr parakeet, That's what I want. They're a
little bit bigger, but they loud as hell, though talking
it's the only thing so but but they do talk.
Though they do talk. You can teach them to dance
and all the type of shit. But I went out Sunday,
so there was a whole this weekend was a whole
(05:58):
lot of gang shit going on in this city from
World Day weekend. And it did rain some also. It
was like acting like Miami or some shit off and
on rains for Saturday and Friday. And Saturday my Sunday,
I went to a after party for a white party,
so the majority people was in there were white on Bitch.
I came in through the white parties dressing all black
(06:20):
like jeezy. Okay it was and yeah, that was fun.
I hadn't been to a club in a long time,
I feel like, aside from when we went to the
Strip Club a couple of weeks ago. But I just
be feeling old as fuck in the club. Okay, I
know I look younger than them, goddamn gen Z's or whoever,
(06:40):
but I'd be feeling old as hell around them. Bitch,
my knee was hurting, do you hear me? Because Sunday
morning I worked out real hard, so now I got
these high ass heels on in the club and my
knee started buckling. And look my cousin when she talks
like she she's like those people that's like real touchy
when she talking and standing leaning on you, I'm like, yo,
(07:01):
I need a kickstand. I cannot hold up your body
weight and mine, you know, like I swear if you
hit me one more time while laughing and talking, I'm
a falling. Like I was really struggling to get the
fuck up out of there with my knees attack. I
had to sit down and rub my knee out.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Oh yeah, you was in there.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Because I did a lot of squats. Yeah, but you was.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Your knee hurting from squats mean your form might not
been a.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Good or or I haven't done any in a long time.
Maybe that's what it is, because if this ain't even
squatt on, no dick.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
You doing ship you needed this year? Last night my
phone was so dry. I kept calling you like he's like,
why this bitch callow me so much? You got nobody else?
And I told you I've got no dick for you.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
She did say that. I said, yes, you want loved.
I sent you to Alley Hoot once in lifetime already,
I'll like, no more dick to sent over there. I
don't even know other niggas. No more Okay, you neither neither.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, let's don't know. These niggas get in the scenes. Girl.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
So I saw that, and I love Vivica Fox. I
think she's dope. So Vivica Fox basically says that, you know,
she thinks she's ready for a husband now. And I'm
pretty sure this lady has been trying to get married
over the years. I don't think that she's just been
outside her whole life ring. Just like all of us,
(08:40):
we'd be looking for our other half. So the headline says,
sixty year old Vivica Fox says she's finally looking for
a husband and she's taking boyfriend applications. So listen if
y'all listen to the show and got some money. Okay,
Vivica Fox looking for a husband, she said, I'm getting
(09:01):
She said no, she said, I'm not getting on an
app He must be fun, loves to travel, not intimidated
by who I am, and lets me spend money going shopping.
Open to all races. Okay, So Auntie is not limiting
herself to just black men only, because statistically, you'll be
dying alone. Okay. So Hair goes some tweets, and of
(09:27):
course Kevin Samuels pops up. You know, people were like
retreating pictures of him from heaven. Rip the Godfather. Only
one to defeat him is death itself. Is one tweet.
Another says Kevin Sagues was right about you women, damn.
And this other one said, three thousand pounds later, I
(09:50):
hate men. Yeah, I'm convinced women hate their boyfriends slash husbands.
Always given the worst version of themselves to those guys.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
What makes that the worst version of herself? She's just older.
But here's the thing that shit do scare me. I
don't want to still be out here, sixties, still looking
for love. And I'd be like I told you.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
My mom and her homegirl, seventy year old cousin out here.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
My mom and her homegirls, they'd be like they in
their sixties, and they'd be like, we don't even want
no man, no more a man come second to a
good book in the glass of warm milk. My mom
will say that, I don't never want to.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Be like married women want to get up out of
that too. I don't married women want to get out
of these situations and be single.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I don't want that. I want me a husband.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Forever I was in Walmart. Yes, I did go to Walmart, y'all. Okay,
I was in Walmart and I was talking shit about something.
I was talking shit on the phone with my cousin
about men. I was saying something and then this lady
and her husband came on the aisle, nice looking black couple,
nice looking man, nice looking woman. And she was like, girl, sorry, girl,
(11:01):
I got the last good one. And I just laughed
because they were older, right, and he was a retired
police officer, and she was like, I got the last
good one, girl, Like, that's how I want to brag
on my husband in older age.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah, me too, that sounds good. Yes, I got the
last good one. You're gass him up.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, that's what his smile.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I don't feel like, wouldn't be gassing they mean up enough.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
I know I don't, y'all Listen, I'd really be working
it through a lot of working through a lot of
things that I grew up under the reiin of a
crazy lady. And one thing I know I do is
talk shit like my mama, Like I don't got nothing
nice to say about a nigga. You gotta find I'm
terrible because I because I do have nice things to
say every the little things in the other bad things
(11:51):
just irritate the fuck out of me. And I got
to tell somebody before I beat you up.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Well, I challenge you to like go up to him
today and be like, you know what, this, this, this,
and this.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
No, I do it. Okay, I do that in person.
I'm talking about when I talk about my significant others
to other people.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Yeah, well today I want you to be like, go
up to somebody.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Man, I got the last good one and so he
fucking not don't say that part, but okay, so what
the vificult foxes? So a couple of nice men did
do some nice sweets. This last one says there's no
age limit for getting married. Plenty of men around her
(12:35):
age that may have just lost a spouse, recently divorced,
or have never been married themselves. This woman is allowed
to want companionship. The only person who determines her worth
is God. These comments are silly, listen because men, y'all
come in all shapes and sizes. Y'all change within a
relationship to Your hair is balding. You already was short,
(12:56):
your stomach getting big, your dickens. See nice used to
always complains a woman can say about you and men
is like, ah, guess why somebody stole wants a three
thousand pound woman. Okay, she's not three when I watch
I'm talking about based on that comment, because when I
watch six hundred pounds life, like, all of them always
(13:17):
have a man.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I don't know what quality, but they keep one exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
So fuck y'all. Okay that part because I feel the
same way about some of the guys. I went to
high school, but y'all was so fine back then. When
I see you now, like we don't even look like
be in the same age group.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I feel like you being mean and niggas right now,
not all niggas did that.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I am not being mean and niggas. You saying that
now people will be like, she being mean and niggas,
and I'm not being mean.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I am.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I am just showing both sides of the thing. Like,
while y'all talk crazy about Vivica Fox, here are the
things she's going to be up against, being this fine
ass sixty year old woman, you know, trying to stow
a comparable meat.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Please, God, you know where's my husband this year? I
don't want to be out here sixty still trying to
find a mate.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Did you ever write down, like the things that you
wanted a man?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Have you done that yet, like really created a list?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yes, I'm going to try and manifest exactly what you
want and need for your life and be very specific.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I speak it, but I've never written it. But I
definitely speak it, and I'm holding out.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I'm waiting.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
My I be twitching writing it down. My I be
twitching every day. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Did you see this? Damn Mayor maryor chuck this girl?
Shut up? He from Helena Wes Alena, Arkansas. A mid
South mayor, is apologizing for his behavior after a viral
video showed him arguing with his family members. Now the
family members are his is, his daughter and his niece
(14:59):
and if video live streaming on Facebook Helena West Helena
mayor Christopher Franklin intensely yelling at his daughter and niece. Uh,
he says, Jala, you're a whole No, she's no excuse me,
see me, he said, Jaala, your whole ass. All you're
doing is popping tricks. Frank can be Franklin can be
heard saying, and Jayla, you act like you my daughter.
(15:21):
You ain't even been something I don't know. You are
the blink between my blink. Eat this blink. You and
Shanayah dropped to your mother's to your mother f and
knees and eat this blink.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Tell me your daughter to a niece to get on
her knees and eat your dick is crazy.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
That's as bad as diabolical, right.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
I don't care how mad it lasted for several minutes.
I don't care how mad you are. Then that was
not what you were supposed to say to your daughter.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
I can only imagine why they acting the way they
are towards you, if that's how you be talking to
them exactly, because I just feel like nothing will ever
make me that mad at my son where I would
tell him to eat my ass or something like what
is happening? You obviously didn't raise them. You didn't raise
your daughter because you could not possibly talk to a
(16:14):
daughter that you raise like actively like that. You act
like that's a stranger.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yeah, and he don't need to be talking like that too, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Not, and know you're doing it on a public platform.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Apologize party for his family. Nigga girl, you ought to be.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Somebody said, what type of Mary gets online? And talks
like this, ask Klena West Selena resident Kimberly Hinder, a
hard Hartisan, she believed Franklin's apology should not shield him
from being held accountable for his behavior as an elected official.
I want him to step down or be removed from
yor absolutely. Yeah, he needs to go on and find
(16:57):
a different profession and seek help first. Now we don't
see what led to that, you know, because there's been
other people in the past who have cussed out Kirk
Franklin did it to his adult son. He ain't tell
him to suck his dick. No, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
No.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
That is just so weird and wild for a father
to tell his daughter some ship like that. I couldn't imagine.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Listen, I understand sometimes your kids get on your nerves
and you might cuss them out. My mama definitely has
cussed me out in this lifetime, and I'm okay with it.
I probably deserved it. But she ain't never tell me
to eat her kouchie that like that, Like that's crazy,
that's insane for your period to ever say that. Yeah,
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
He doesn't see her ass his daughter, And there's no way,
y'all summer is here. Okay, Juna's Juna's hair is Gemini season,
Jim and Jim and Gemini season. And if you're trying
to take some trips this summer, y'all, I want to
(18:01):
check out this app called fly me Out. Okay, this
this is a real thing. It's an app called fly
me Out. Y'all can download it. I won't be using it.
I hope Tam won't be using it.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I thought about it, but yo, I don't want to
be sex traffic.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
That's what it sounds like to me. It sounds like
you might end up missing. You're being you. It's basically
like a dating website and obviously it's it's men flying
women out. You could put an application in to be
flown out, and they have all these luxury places you
can go to on the app with these different men.
(18:45):
That's insane. Well, I didn't know the app, so I
don't know what's in there.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
That just sounds like a recipe for disaster. You just
getting on the app and like going to Hawaii with
a complete stranger because they put it in the app.
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
We just had an episode on pimping like this is
pimping like this is like legal pimping, like setting up
an app where you charge. I'm pretty sure both people
have a subscription, a man and a woman, and you
are getting a percentage from them paying for sex, because
that is essentially what's going on.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah, because it ain't just fly me out and come
experience this island. Y'all know this.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
White girls. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be white young girls. Okay,
you know it's for whatever reason. It almost seems like
white women can't be holes, but everybody always want to
bash black women. Me.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I know about I know some white hoes.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
We do, women do, but it just seems like men
don't consider them holes to be hoes.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I don't know. I don't know how this.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
White men do not be concerned about the knowledge on
them coucheese because college and shit like that. It goes down. Yeah,
do with them white girls and nobody cares. They get
to go on and have a family and they probably
be doing three things the ship with their husbands to wife,
swapping out all types of shit, and they don't get judged.
(20:09):
They just get to exist. Black women.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I don't know, Black women, we might, they might get judged.
We just don't live inside their bubble and that's why
we don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
But it's like, you know, you're a fucking horde, but
the man gonna don't marry you. You know you're a whore.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
I know a lot of just married.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
But are they husband gonna be calling them a hole?
Because I feel like white men be really burrating their wife. Man, Susan,
shut up, you're a fucking horror, like, and it's less
that we're still gonna be together. Yeah, that's crazy, And
she's probably saying shit to him, like, yeah, remember you
(20:53):
were Jeff in college.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
You were Jeff in college.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
You were with Jeff in college. Oh shit, yeah, I
remember you and Jeff in college. That goes into our
wild boys back then. That goes into.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Our topic for today.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, that definitely is a great segue into this week's topic. Y'all.
I had some little things going on this weekend and
it made me think about because this is conversations I
definitely have had with Tim and a couple of my
couple other friends, like what would you do if you're
in a relationship with a guy and he tells you,
like straight up, not even a relationship or friendship. He
(21:39):
tells you that he's bisexual. Like, we don't know what
we would do until it happens, I think, but I
want to talk about it. What are we doing? We'll
be right back after the break, all right, y'all. So
we're back, and the world of dating is scare re, okay.
(22:06):
And I want to preface this conversation by saying, listen,
because people have said some really mean things about me
in the past. I'm not homophobic. Okay, you're heterophobic butt,
that's right. But it's just something that women have to
deal with, right because there are a lot of men
out out here that even though they could be forty
(22:27):
years old, they might still be trying to figure out
their sexuality. So what happens when you encounter somebody in
that process or they already got it figured out? And hey,
you know, I like you, but I've also dated men
in the past. Can you date a man, Tam who
is openly bisexual?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Hell no, I said, hell no, And let me tell
you why, because not because I have anything against bisexual people.
Live your life, do what you want to do. Fuck
who the fuck I don't care for me is I
can't constantly live with the idea that I have to
(23:07):
worry about niggas and women. I already have trust issues,
and now I'm worried about you fucking bitches and niggas.
That's just too much. It's just too much for me.
I can't worry about it. I can't be concerned with
that because I already don't trust men. It's hard for
me to trust me in period. So yeah, no, it's
(23:29):
not gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And I think that's the sentiment that most women have, right.
Their concern is always the man, then being promiscuous with
men and women, right, And it does get sketchy. I
don't give a damn what y'all say is just levels
to this shit, right, and that is an extreme level
of cheating. But we shouldn't assume that just because a
man is gay, right, that he or bisexual, that he
(23:56):
would cheat with a man. He may not even be
a cheater, you know what I'm saying. He may not
cheat on you with a man or a woman. It's
just his sexual preference. He likes egos both ways, but
whenever he's in a relationship with a person, that's who
he's with. For me, I could never engage in any
(24:18):
relationship with a man who is openly bisexual. When I
say openly meaning you told me, thank you. I appreciate
you for being honest, because there are a lot of
men who are never going to be honest with themselves
or anybody else, and they secretly do this stuff. There's
no way for me to know. So when I say
openly gay, openly bisexual, you told me, right, I just
(24:40):
think that there's a different mindset for people who go
both ways, like that's just their lifestyle. It's just a
different mindset that I don't have, because I feel like
even in conversation with some men. I remember one night
my homegirl, we met up with one of her friends.
(25:00):
Gay guy, big ass, gay guy. He like six ' five,
nice looking, he does hair like nice looking guy. He
kept asking me if I wanted to have a baby
with him, like boy, he has a son, he said
he wanted more children. I'm like no, like so then
we got then at the bar, get into a whole
conversation about why men need to tell women that they
(25:24):
are bisexual or that they have had sexual encounters with
men before, And he was arguing me down about how
that's not a woman's business, Why doesn't matter who the
man has been with before. Why doesn't matter who a
person has been with it matters.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I think it matters.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Let's talk about why it matters.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
But all right, hold on, here's the thing. Because if
a man asked me about my past, you the only
one my holdness get deleted. So is it for me
to say I need to I don't have to tell
my sexual history, and then require a man to tell
his sexual history. That seems like a double standard.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
It is, and I'm it's just is. So there's a
lot of double standards against women. One, you can't be
a whole You're gonna get judged for it, right, that's
a double standard that we live with. There's a lot
of things that men do that we just simply can't
do without judging getting some type of public shame and
judgment about it. Right. And to me, bisexual men, there's
(26:34):
no such thing. You're a gay man. I don't believe
that there's such thing as bisexual men. What you're just gay?
You're just gay. And I need to know that you
have had sex with a man, because it's a different
type of mindset, like I don't want to deal with.
It just comes with other things, not just the sexual thing.
(26:58):
It's just the whole the way they think. Like this
man arguing me down about not he doesn't feel like
you should have to tell a woman that you've been
with a man before you. I feel like you have
to because if I ask you a question and you
tell me a lie, now you're being deceitful. Right, Why
are you being deceitful? Why do you feel like you
need to withhold that information? Because there's a reason.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
The reason is because, especially I think in the black community,
why a man would want to withhold their information is
because black women don't accept you back. Once you go gay,
once you have a sexual experience with same sex as
a black man, it's hard to come back to women.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
That's not true that there's a lot of women out here.
Like listen, during the pandemic, I was on a clubhouse
heavy It was so many women on there. Like in
these conversations who said they prefer bisexual women, so many
prefer a lot yes, in conversation out of the years,
like there are women out here that you could be
(27:59):
your self with.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I agree, but I but I you know, just based
on my experience, maybe it's in my age group, they're
not as open to bisexual men like, once you go
you know, same sex, it's hard to come back to women.
They I won't accept you back me personally, I'm not.
And that's just my preference because I already told you
(28:22):
I can't deal with like you going on a boy's trip.
The fuck you going on a boys trip for a
motherfucker like I can't. I don't have time for that.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
See and look, that's another double standard. And men like
to talk about us. Oh, y'all go on girls trips
and y'all be eating each other a's KOUCHI that is
not happening on girls trips, okay amongst the friend group.
Oh you Busty knows what shit. I don't know, because
I'm never eating kouchie in the first place. I'm definitely
not eating my homegirl Cucci. So you need to tell me.
(28:53):
Bitches be over it. Y'all. Niggas might got some validity
with this the way tam just look, I don't know,
I don't always, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
I don't know anything about we're saints. I never ate
no Kouchie on no girl's trip, So.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
That's what I'm saying. So I mean maybe somebody like
somebody on the island, some other woman outside the friend
group by the eight a friend's kucci. But I had
the homegirls that's hanging out, going on a girl's trip
and somebody's eating each like what.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
I mean, I've never done that, but I've seen it happen.
You know how they say who Richard Pryor and who
had six? It was drugs? They ah, Marlon Brando or
something like that. Yes, mm hmm, it was you know,
drugs alcoholic and those are men, That's what I'm saying.
So when my man keeps wanting to go on these
(29:47):
guide trips and I can't go ever, you just have
this one homeboy, you do you remember that online?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
It was like a post. It was a guy that
it was a woman saying that. You know, she's asking
for other people's opinion because her boyfriend or husband you know,
was going on his little annual boy strip with his
homeboy and she demanded to go this go around. He
had his wife sitting in coach while him and his
(30:14):
homeboy was in first class.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Oh my god, So why because he didn't want her
to be there.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
He didn't want her to be there like this is
his Like that's the red flag for me.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Well, why should Demanda go? Why should demand of going?
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Honestly, because she probably felt she probably it's just him
and it's one other person. It's not like it's multiple
people on his boys strip. It's just her guy and
his homeboy.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
But it's like, what if me and my best friend
want to go to a nice spot in Arizona or
something like that on the SPA trip and my man.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
She already had reservations about him.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Okay, she has some sexual why she was.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Pushing the issue. Yeah, I mean she already felt like
he was on some little creepy shit.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
But just a vacation, Just a vacation.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yes, and you are not invited, wifey, you stay at
home with the churn. But he put his wife in
coach child, and he was in first class with his
his nigga.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I mean, that happens. It happens.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I just I'm not signing up for anything like that. Like,
I can deal with a man wanting a woman or
cheating with women, but how do you compete when your
man is cheating with men? Like you can try to
do all the things, like you might try to introduce
anal sex. You know what I'm saying. Maybe he likes it.
Maybe he's like, could you imagine your man being the bottom,
(31:45):
dough dog, This is your husband and he's the bottom,
and that that's a whole nother level. Yeah, he's the
bottom for other men.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
That's the thing. I You know, that would make me
a man because now you like me, If you're taking
dick like me, then now i'm you know, And I
don't want to offend anybody with that statement, because it's like,
I'm not a man if I take dick. I'm not
saying you're not a man if you take dick.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
I'm not saying that. I'm just saying we both take dick.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
So now I feel like me and you on a
more level playing field. You know what I'm saying? Is
that fair? Just I would emsculate him, I would.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
I mean, it just depends on his demeanor, Like even
though he takes dick, he is not a masculine man.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
If I find out my nigga took some dick. As
soon as we get into.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
An argument, I thought you was working on that using
vulnerabilities against people.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Listen, that's just one of them. That's just gonna I'm
a like if I ever had that, that's an easy one,
right there for the take. It, it's right there for
the taking. I'm sorry that's fucked up, but it's true.
I'm being honest. So I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah, Yeah, and I would want I need a woman on,
Like I actually put a little kite out there to
see if anybody would bite to actually be able to
come on the show to talk about their their situation
and talk about you know, were you ever in a
relationship with a guy and he came out bisexual, or
did you knowingly engage in a relationship with somebody who
was honest and upfront with you about their sexuality and
(33:28):
you you know, maybe it was a great relationship, maybe
with other things that caused y'all not to be together anymore.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Or maybe they're still together, or you couldn't.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Actively be in it. Yeah, because I don't want I
don't believe that these people can't carry on healthy relationship,
you know what I'm saying, because we already know it's
a lot of heterosexual men with much I don't call
it mental illness, but a whole lot of gangshit be
going on their damn minds, all right. But I feel
(33:56):
like some of those men who act out on women,
maybe battling their sexuality. I feel like men who put
their hands on women are sometimes they just they like,
you know, pussy. They like sex with women, but they
don't necessarily like women, and they probably like prefer their homeboy.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Well that's the thing. That's what I was saying to
you yesterday, is like if vagina wasn't wet, I probably
would be a lesbian, Like because I trust the counsel
of women more. I feel safer with women. I feel
like my vulnerabilities are more safe with women as of
(34:38):
Like I just I haven't really met a lot of
men that I could trust with my vulnerable self to
care for my heart. Yeah, I don't feel like I
meet a lot of men that I can do that with.
Where I just feel safer around women, which is is
crazy because I should feel safeer around men, right, But
I just do.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
But I just don't like titties.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Flapping all over the place and kuchie all went and stuff.
You know.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
That's why I'm like, listen, I know I can't be
a lesbian because I don't like nothing moist. I don't
like nothing like OUI gooky, like it's an oyster. I
like oysters you know, I eat a whole bushel of them,
but I don't, that's what and weave between my legs
like I'm cool on that ship. It's just it's just
too much. And you know another thing, I don't know
(35:29):
a gay couple that doesn't fight. I'm talking about two
women because they it's very volatile period up and yeah, yeah,
like so I don't.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
And then I'm work with a bitch than I am,
you know, a nigga.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
And I feel like if a man pissed you off,
at least he can drop that dick on you, Okay,
at least he can like make you feel better that way.
Now this girl got to go get this goddamn plastic
bullshit that's bending in and it's like it's some woman
love that. How fun dick looked on here? That dick
(36:09):
she pulled out, that black aude at it. That dick
was from Filo, That dick came from.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Yeah, that cheap ass dick on head girl, If you're
gonna put that dick up, not a paper mache that
did came out the discount basket at the x X
sex Story.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Nothing appealing about that dick. I don't want it at
least you can get a nice warm penis after this
man pissed you off. Meanwhile, you're in the house with
this bitch. Y'all periods, Sun SYNCD up you mad about now?
Y'all fighting? Now DV charge is involved. Like that's what.
I don't know A couple that doesn't fight.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
A gay couple that doesn't fight.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Yeah, the the women that I know, they be going
at it.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
My sister, my older sister, is in a lesbian Mary
and they are like two little peas in the pot.
They ain't always been like that, though, but now it's
sickening how much they like each other. You FaceTime and
stay in there singing Whitney Houston together. I'm like, y'all,
bitch is wag, I'm about to go?
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Why? Is that why you want a girlfriend? I don't
want a girlfriend. I'm just saying, like, I just have
better relationships with women, but not I wouldn't want to
have an intimate relationship with a woman for real.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Yeah, because just yeah, because men, men are traumatizing. I
have been traumatized in every relationship I've been in. Yeah,
I don't. I don't have one relationship where I didn't.
It didn't change me, not for the better, you know
what I'm saying. Yeah, partially, you know you do, you know,
do things a little bit differently, But I do move
(37:50):
on to the next situation. Like I've never been hurt before.
I don't let it like hinder me. But it really
be some internal shit you gotta work out.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
That's what about to say, Like some of the shit
you just carry you unknowingly, you know, like you carry
it with you and it affects how you well. Speaking
for me, it affects how I navigate in the next
relationship some of the things. So I do take it
with me sometime and hopefully, I mean, I've been single
for a minute now, so we'll see how this next
thing go. I think I'll be a lot better with
(38:19):
you know, I can be real spicy with my tongue,
but I've been trying to work on how I deliver
my assault rifle.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
You just gotta get it. You just gotta get a
son of a bitch girl and they'll be okay with
your tongue.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
No, I don't want that by saying, because you get
a son of a bitch, she was okay with a
tongue being spicy. His tongue might be spicy too, and
then we have kids and he telling our daughter good
down on your knees.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Oh shut up, I don't want no.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Man who's okay with that?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Yeah he's wild. Well, so I found this article on
very well Mind, verywellmind dot com on relationships. It says
how do you cope when your spouse comes out as gay?
So even on this website, they're not calling it bisexual,
They're just like he's gay. Right. It starts off by
(39:16):
saying people change. I don't think that's true. I think
in this particular situation, you already knew, you know, you
just didn't let it come out right. So I don't
think you could be forty years old and then just
change to gay or bisexual. This is something you probably
always wanted to experience, you probably had been experiencing. But
(39:38):
if you didn't experience it, you are doing it now, right,
So whatever, I don't think it was a change. Though
it says people.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Change, it's definitely a change.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
If you it is a change already. That's a change
to me, Yo, big change. People take longer to find themselves.
Life will always throw you curveballs you never saw coming.
Finding out your partner is gay or queer is one
(40:10):
of those complicated situations that are both positive on certain
levels and devastating on others. It's a lot to unpack.
It says you may have had suspicions your partner was
somewhere on the Kinsey scale. I haven't looked that up
to see what a Kinsey scale is. It's probably like
the different sexual orientations. I guess it was. It says
(40:35):
right exactly said, lots of people are bisexual or by
curious and heterosexual relationships, and these relationships are so strong
lots of people. It's not until your partner tells you
directly that they are gay, as in they've realized that
they are more attracted to the same sex than the
opposite sex, that you may be facing a significant challenge. Okay,
(41:00):
so this is more talking. This is more so talking
like okay to a married and a woman is a
woman and man are married and the man says, hey,
I'm gay, Like, yeah, I'm with you, but I actually
prefer men.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
What do you don't know?
Speaker 1 (41:18):
What would you?
Speaker 2 (41:18):
I don't know what to do with that? How did
we get here?
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Yeah? Like what happened? Like? Were you being gay?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Tod? It's kind of like, uh, the Kardashian what's her name?
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Oh, Chris Jenner?
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Chris, Yeah, I mean, well, but he not gay because
he don't like men.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
No, he's definitely gay. Yes, the guy, the excuse me,
the girl he was dating was a trans woman. It
was a young he was dating. Excuse me, say what
Caitlyn Jenner was dating a trans woman, which is technically like, yeah,
genetically a male. Yes.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Really, I thought he only dated women. No, I mean
she Excuse me, I thought, baby, this would be hard.
It's the whole I thought it. Okay, Formerly Bruce Caitlyn
dated women, so making her lesbian.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Bruce used to date women.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
I thought Caitly men too.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
No, Caitlyn was dating and you might have thought it
was a woman, but it was a trans woman. Oh okay. Yeah.
So the next part is the article says on finding
out your partner is gay, unless your spouse shares your
sexual orientation with you, there's no way to know for
sure if they are gay or queer. So call signs
like how your spouse talks, walks, dresses, or likes are
(42:54):
not indications of sexual orientation, nor are sexual preferences including
oil and anal sex. Rather than making assumptions. The best
way to know for sure is to have an open
dialogue with your spouse. You'd never want to directly out
your partner, It's okay to bring up observations you've had
about them while emphasizing your love and support for them
(43:16):
no matter what they say. If your partner isn't ready
to talk about it, accept that truth. They will come
out to you whenever the time is right. This experience
is just hard for them, if not more as it
is for you.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I yeah, that's got to be hard to tell someone,
especially if you're in a heterosexual relationship and then you
come out and say, hey, I don't want to be
heterosexual anymore. It's got to be hard, and you know,
I'm honestly quite brave to do that if you live
a heterosexual lifestyle forever, especially for a man. I think
(43:55):
for women it's a lot easier because.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
Yeah, like that's the standard.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Right, Yeah, because if you tell your husband like more acceptable,
guess what, baby think I was so pissy? What do
you think he be?
Speaker 3 (44:09):
Like?
Speaker 4 (44:09):
Shit, me too babulous, you know, but not so much
to do it the other way around, Whereas if some
men not okay with that shit either, like they're not
okay with their girls sleeping with women all the time
without them, with or without them.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Like everybody not okay with that situation, right, But I
feel like it's more okay. It would be in the opposite.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Right, and in my fear would be like, you're in
a relationship with this bisexual man, like who was honest upfront,
told you you get into the thing, and then he
he tells you he wants a man. He then is
honest with you again, right and says it says, you know,
I want a man for a little bit. What do
you do?
Speaker 2 (44:55):
I mean, if you was down with it from the beginning,
I don't see why you.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
No, because you're not actively doing a thing, you know
what I'm saying. You just let me know that you
have done the thing before it Well, okay, I guess
that's actively.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
I mean, if you're not okay with him being with
anybody outside of you, then okay. But if you're okay
with him like fucking a woman but not a man, well,
why'd you get with a bisexual man in the first place?
If you were only okay with him having sex with
a woman. You see what I'm saying, Like that don't
make sense.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yeah, yes, wow. The article says, while while the following
signs may relate to your spouse's sexual orientation, they can
also be attributed to other problems in their life or
your marriage. You notice your spouse has lost interest in
sex or has trouble engaging in sex. Do you think
(45:51):
that's a that's a sign. I mean, that could be
a sign of cheating. It may not be a sign
that he's dealing with men, right, he might.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
I mean, did you get fat? Did you get skinny?
Like somethingbody to change where he's just not said.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Y'all got y'all ain't got no money for the bills
like men stress about that type of shit too. I
don't want to have sex.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
You notice your spouse has a sense of confusion about themselves.
I wonder what that looks like.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
I don't know, like niggas trying to grow braids or
something out of nowhere, Like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
What a man weave.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
I'm not against the man we'ves because some of these
niggas be.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
You should be looking good, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
As long as you keep it up and it ain't
flapping off in the wind.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
And don't be asking me to do it.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
No, I'll tack your ship back down if it's coming up.
We got somewhere to be.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
No, this is a big giant red flag. And I
actually have went in a nigga phone to see if
I see anything like that. Yes, you know thisice pops
pop ups of gay pornography or dating sites on their devices.
I've looked. I've looked through somebody's porn hub history before.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Have you I stay out of nigga's phones. I just
I don't ruin my own good day. I never.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
I mean, I I don't either. But what I'm saying
is I have. And the thing is I am capable
of going through a nigga phone and never telling them.
Men can't. They can't go through your shit and not
address what they see. I can go through a man's
phone and never mention this not me because I am
choosing to be happy.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
Me choosing to be happy is not going through that ship,
because if I go through it and I see something,
it's gonna show on my face. Even if I don't
say nothing like damn, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Nothing? It's over. It's over.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
I'm just gonna I'm gonna turn up at some point.
So I just don't even look Stevie.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
You know what I do. I turn up when you
turn up on me. I saved my ship for those days,
and that is toxic. Yeah, they're nothing.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Yes, it is my two pulling out us a joker cart.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
And I took pictures of the ship. I got a
whole fucking folded for your ass. Okay, from ship from
your phone while you're trying to address some shit I did.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
I'm saying something.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Here's another one. You notice a new group of friends
on their social media, many of whom are openly gay
or queer. Now I have definitely there is some guys
I know, and I've looked in there, like why are
you all these gay dudes following you? These are clearly
gay men, like they having spitos and shit like that
on on their page. Always got muscle, Always take a
(48:45):
pictures from the back, you know what I'm saying, Like
these are why why are you following these people?
Speaker 2 (48:50):
If they're following Like, if someone's following you, you can't
really control. And I wouldn't say like, oh, especially if
my man is like popular or in some sort like
entertainer or something like that, and he got gay men
following them, I can't. I wouldn't be mad at that.
But if he's following a lot of gay men in return,
that ain't like friends that he grew up with or someone,
(49:12):
because I mean, you can't fast your nigga for like
growing his cousin gay. This is his first cousin, right,
you know, like.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
What he's gonna do, right, they grew up together.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
Yeah, that's that's my that's my guy, you know, either way,
But yeah, following a bunch of new gay people gay men,
it's wild. It's interesting.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
So do mixed orientation relationships work? Mixed orientation couples are
those in which the partners do not share the same
sexual orientation. Examples of mixed orientation couples include partnerships in
which one partner is straight and the others not, but
could also include relationships in which one partner identifies as
a lesbian and the other identifies as bisexual. For example,
(49:56):
according to one study, there are up to two million
couples in which one member identifies as straight and the
other does not. Among these couples, when a gay or
lesbian or bisexual partner comes out, a third of the
couples break up. Immediately. Yeah, that would be me. I'm
out of there. Another third stay together for one to
(50:17):
two years and then split. The remaining third try to
make their marriages work. Of these, half of these half
split up while the other halfs stay together for three
or more years, so they try to work it out.
I just think that that is not something I think
that can be worked out. I think ultimately, people in
(50:37):
their relationships like you, Chris, Chris, Chris Jenner and Caitlin
like they are still friends. They're still friends. They like
I can't compete with that, and that's that's all I
could be with you is your friend that.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
I'm trying to think Actually, let's say being Let's say
I get with someone tomorrow and here I am fifty
four now and he says, hey, I love you. I
don't want us to split up, but I have this
desire that I've never acted on, and we're getting older
(51:15):
and I just want to experience this. And he's done
all the things that he's loved me. Fully, would I
be able to just walk away because he wanted to
experience a man? Yes? I would. I thought about it
for a second. Yes I would, Yes, I would. And
I don't want like, I just listened to myself, and
(51:38):
I know I don't want any gay men or bisexual
men to be offended by what I'm saying, because it's
not a hatred, and we're allowed to have preference, and
it's not a judgment on anything y'all do. It's just
my preference on what I desire for my partner, and
I just don't want my partner to also enjoy dick.
(52:00):
That wrong, Absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
And I feel like if people would, you know, work
on themselves first before they get into relationships anyway, you know,
and you can come in the situation as your whole
self and give people all information upfront so they know
what they're dealing with, Like, give me the opportunity to
determine whether or not, you know, after I got all information, right,
I can make a sound decision based on this information.
(52:26):
But do not put my life in your hand.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
What if you get with a nigga who don't want
to fuck with men, but he wants you to do
some seemingly homosexual things to him, like pagan or something
like that.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Some women like pagan men. I don't want a man
who likes getting pegged. I'm sorry, I'm not that but
that's not a kink of mine. Listen. I have definitely
put a finger in a couple butts, but if a
man actually wants me to strap up, I don't feel
comfortable doing that to him. I don't. And you know
I say this a lot, but I think there's a
lot more men that are gay in the mind than
(53:04):
have actually had sex with a man. Like they think
about it often, but they may never ever act on it.
Do you consider that I don't. I mean, you can't
consider them gay right because they've never actually engaged in
the act of But those could be the people that,
you know, fifty years old come out like, man, I
want to do it now.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
What was that show, It's Black Mirror where they had
the episode of the two Homeboys. They had that virtual
reality game and they.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
But it still was a woman in there. And remember
on the one scene they kiss to see if something
like the two actual men in reality kiss.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
Yeah, And it was like right, and that ain't it?
They only wanted to have virtual Well.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
One of them was like mm mmm, that ain't it.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
I feel like both of them didn't really like each other.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
The married guy was like that ain't it. The other guy,
I think he liked him in real life like two men,
because remember the the married guy was the male in
the virtual reality, his homeboy was the female. That's how
the whole shit started.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
But they were having like the most the best, most
passionate experience virtually and in real life.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
That's just.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
And she let him do it once a year, like
and it was over like his birthday. He could log
into the game and knock his homeboy down.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
So all year long, you just waiting for this, this
is your moment. And she boyfriend didn't have nobody, I mean,
the homeboy didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (54:34):
And then she got to go out and sheet on
him though, like did she Yeah, she got to go
out and get real dick. So that was the trade off.
I didn't know that that was the trade off.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
I didn't I miss that part.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
That was the trade off. Which one is worse though,
because he's not even really sexually experiencing anybody. It's just
like a simulation where she really going to get knocked down,
which one is Uh.
Speaker 1 (55:04):
I think that the virtual it's just it's that's really mental.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
Yeah, it's really mental.
Speaker 1 (55:11):
Like, yes, the dick live dick is is physical.
Speaker 2 (55:15):
Yeah, I feel like you can't catch I ain't never
heard of AI std.
Speaker 1 (55:23):
AI baby. It's a disease of the mind.
Speaker 2 (55:26):
That's why it ain't no AI babies out there.
Speaker 1 (55:29):
So there is ye'all all right, So we're about to
wrap this up. But this last little piece, it says
things to do and not to do, like, if you
find out your spouse or significant other wants to dave okay, uh,
decide what what what you both can and cannot live with.
(55:51):
I can't live with it. Accept that it takes both
of you to make a marriage just as do Just
as any situation where there is possible infidelity, get checked
immediately for sexually transmitted infections, rather or not your partner
admits to any sexual infidelity. Take care of yourself as
(56:13):
you go through the grieving process. Your relationship has changed,
try to accept the reality and move forward. And the
last one says, do be careful about how you tell
your children. You may need professional guidance to deal with this.
It's important for them to love, for them to feel
loved and secure, and to know they're not responsible for
the state of the marriage or relationship. And then it says,
(56:38):
don't isolate yourself, seek support or professional help. Don't assume
that your marriage is over. Some straight slash gay marriages
are happy unions. However, studies show that out of fifteen
percent of couples who try to make it work, only
about seven percent make it over the long term. Yourself
(57:00):
for turning your partner gay. No one can turn someone
else gay, and I think men blame that. I just
can't hear a man saying it's your you the reason
why I'm gay. I can hear that happening because even
when they dick stop working, they want to blame us, like, oh,
you're not arousing me no more. No, accept the fact
that you might possibly have ed and go get the help.
(57:23):
Don't blame your woman for the penis not working anymore,
like you're just not attracted to her anymore. Yeah, I
know that this has happened to really girl. Depending on
what type of person you're dealing with, nothing is ever.
Speaker 2 (57:41):
Their fault, even they did nothing.
Speaker 1 (57:45):
Exactly. Oh, it's your fault. I'm just not attracted to you.
Speaker 2 (57:48):
No, you have ed, like, but maybe if it's getting
up with somebody else, then it might not. It might
be an issue between the twos. Well, it could be
very possible.
Speaker 1 (57:59):
Anyway, you got a last last for this child.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
Listen, if y'all don't want never mind, I just ain't
got time for the hate mail. I just ain't got
time for the hate mail. My last last is love
who you love. Love is a beautiful thing, and love
who you live. No, I ain't got time for that ship. Listen,
people be rinking me over the colds after I say something.
(58:27):
So I just love who you love. Used to love
who you love. Goddamn, I'm used to it.
Speaker 1 (58:33):
So my last last would be not love who you love,
be yourself. So who is gonna love? You can find you.
There are women out here who are okay with bisexual men.
You see Kendrick g. She does her little dating show
on Instagram, And there's a lot of enough, specifically from
(58:53):
Atlanta in in DC area. There are a lot of
men who be honest, like I'm looking for a man
or a woman like I do both, or I used
to be with men and now I'm looking for a
woman now. My only thing is, don't come over here
trying to trauma dump the shit you've had going on
with these men into my womb, Like I got a
problem with that.
Speaker 2 (59:16):
So basically, you saying love yourself and love who you love.
Speaker 1 (59:20):
Yeah, love yourself, so no, love yourself so you can
be loved, is what I'm saying. So somebody can love
you holy exactly who you are. You gotta be honest
with yourself first. Don't come over here with that bullshit
and let me choose. Let the women choose, let the
men choose what they want to deal with. That's all,
(59:41):
you know. I just be honest with yourself. Yeah, find
some do some soul searching, and find some self awareness
before you start engaging with other human beings on any
level and any type of relationship and any sexual orientation. Right,
and if you love dick, figure out.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
I don't care Tam love you anyway.
Speaker 1 (59:59):
I don't not love people. I mean, but they it's
not like my it's not my job. You need to
love yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
I love people, Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Me telling you I love you every day is knock
on to make you love yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
No, but some people don't hear it from nobody else,
so they get to hear from me if they listen
every week. That's how I feel like.
Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
Yeah that yeah baby? All right, y'all listen if you
enjoyed this episode, y'all Tune in every Thursday on the
Black Effect podcast, iHeartRadio app, wherever the fuck you get
your podcasts at. This is your co host, A J.
Holiday twin Oh. On Instagrams kick a Tam.
Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
You ain't say follow me now. If you want to
get on you always say that Yeah that part too.
Y'all's official on Instagram, I Love y'all. Remember to speak
now and never.
Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
Hold you what hold your sexual or never holding This
is y'all. Okay we talk back is the production of iHeartRadio.
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