Black Excellence Burnout

AJ Holiday and Tam Bam open up about personal grief and ongoing health challenges. The conversation explores the weight of political violence, systemic racism, and the pressures of Black excellence in today’s society. They also reflect on generational differences in work ethic, highlighting how cultural expectations around productivity often clash with the need for self-care and they also emphasize the importance of setting boundaries, prioritizing mental health, and redefining success on their own terms.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Peace of the planet. Charlamagnea god. Here.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Before we get into today's episode, we've got to celebrate
the Black Effect Podcast Network. It's turning five years old, man,
five years of powerful voices, unforgettable moments in the community
that keeps growing. This is the power of the platform.
Now let's get into it.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
and the Black Effect Network.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Talk Talk.

Speaker 4 (00:24):
We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
What's up, y'all? It's your girl a j holiday Am.

Speaker 4 (00:35):
Hey, y'all is Tam Bam. I love y'all so very much.
How you doing, aj, I'm doing girl.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
It's been a long short, a long weekend, long short
couple of weeks. Yeah, man, I've been mourning. Man. I
lost my first best friend last week before last. Actually
in her funeral was yesterday.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
Oh wow, sorry to hear that, girl. Life be life
in y'all. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
I don't know, and I don't think. I might be
nosy and I might foul. Let me not say that
on here. Yeah, but I'm gonna find out what happened
to my friend. But she passed away. She was staying
with her mom. She passed away at her mom's house,
and you know, she just she was struggling a little bit.
I don't know what else, but check on y'all people.

(01:30):
People might say okay and just not. And she text
me the day before she passed and I didn't respond
because I was super busy. And it's not that I
regret not responding, because people be exactly how I'm supposed to.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yes, so a lot of unanswered questions. But it's weird, man.
That is always weird.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
But it's expected because, like the preacher was saying at
church yesterday, nighttime will come welcome. We just don't win, right,
So you got to make sure you executing on all
the things that you're supposed to be doing his lifetime.
Don't waste no gifts, do all the things every day
to the max and take.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
Us and grat right.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
That'll kind of take us into day into today's topic
a little bit when we get.

Speaker 4 (02:20):
Into absolutely, I was in Paris following drink around.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Did you get his number?

Speaker 4 (02:31):
And no, I did not get his number, Unfortunately I
did not, But we we had a great time. You know.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Shout out to Zobah.

Speaker 4 (02:40):
She always makes sure we're good, and me and my
best friend went so hung out in Paris. But now
I came back and now I just don't feel the
world's greatest. It's just being on those flights, those nine
hour flights. It's hard to come back healthy and healthy
as you left. So I'm a bit under the weather.
And I think I may have even ruptured my ear

(03:03):
drum because I was a little congested on the flight
and I blew my nose and I felt something that
felt weird in my right ear after I blew my nose,
and it's still you know that feeling that you feel
when it's just like you need your ear pop. It
just it still feels like that. And this is days
after the flight.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
So yeah, I be hella congestant and just regular day,
but on a plane it be even worse. I know
exactly what you talk about. You're trying to blow that
air to pop your ear out.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, and it just won't pop. So yeah, shames that.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
So that's what I've been doing, just trying to heal.
When I landed, So we stayed out every night until
like five thirty in the.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Morning, because that's why I stick to you.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Immune sister, probably down as well, just from drinking, not sleeping.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Bruh. When I tell you, like.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, My I felt like my liver hurt.
Like I was just like drinking nothing but water because
I drink Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, five days in
a row, like really drinking, drinking, like drinking like I'm
twenty two years old drinking.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Maybe I was hurting.

Speaker 4 (04:18):
I slept for sixteen hours once I landed back in
the States.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
I slept for.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
Sixteen Your body got to catch up.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
I can't do it like that.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
No more about damn killed my damn self trying to
hang out with the young folks.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
You lead that ship to them young, and I know
he's gonna need no sleep.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Pev stink.

Speaker 4 (04:37):
They adn't drink no water the whole trip, the whole No,
I had no water. Yeah, but that was my week.
The weekend was, you know. I hung out a little bit.
One of my one of my friends, he had like
as he threw his first H R and B concert,

(04:59):
So I out and supported that on Friday with my
little booth thing. It was a nice time with my friends.
I think God might have been Yeah, I need let
me let me see if I can get your booth
thay moem flight passes because he needed that shit.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
I'm gonna see if I can find an extra.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
Oh no, bitch, we both bought that Frontier shit. Did
y'all see that? He actually paid more for his because
the flight from He's coming from Philly, so the flight
is like fifteen dollars or something like that. They got
direct flights from Philly here, so really that's the only
reason why he bought the little package. I purchased the
shit just to and I feel like I'm never gonna

(05:36):
be able to use it. I think he might have
paid like five hundred dollars for it. Then he had
like a clearance sale and that shit, and I paid
two ninety nine for it. But then when you look
at the flight so okay, first of all, Frontier they
only usually have like I guess technically four flights a
week or two flights a week or some shit like that.
So like say, for instance, if I fly from here

(05:57):
to Atlanta, I could fly out Friday and then the
next flight hopefully it will be Monday, but you might
fuck around have to hop on another flight depending on
like their flight schedule. But you just have to cover
the taxes once you pay for this fee. But it's
unlimited flying and one I got doesn't expire until twenty
twenty seven. But y'all know, Spirit just file bankruptcy. So

(06:19):
I'm thinking, like, are these people fund raising? They're about
to go out of business too, and y'all just snatched
up a bunch of people's money knowing damn well, you're
not gonna be able to catch these flights because it's
a good bit of places I could.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Fly to using it.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
Vegas, Miami, placed out, New York. Yeah, okay, mm hmm
for two ninety nine. But the flying, the dates is
just kind of stupid. The schedule, yeah, it's kind of
You gotta really plan and you got to backpack it. Basically,
you can't be trying to take two last suitcases like

(06:52):
I usually travel.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
That's where they charge you those fees. With these cheap.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
Airlines, you're not paying a lot for the Yeah, so
if you if you're a conservative girly, and I think
they still have it, it's called a go wild pass
on Frontier.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
Can we get a check Frontier? Thank you? Wild?

Speaker 4 (07:14):
Oh wow, I'm gonna see I might get one just
to have a backup plan.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
For my Oh no, exactly, Yeah, you might want to
check into that.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
All right, let's get a man, Charlie Kirk.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
So, Charlie Kirk is a politician and he was murdered last.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
Politician or was he just a commentator or I.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Guess well, I'll say politician, right, because I know a
lot of our listeners probably don't tune into Candas Owens.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
I do.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
Last year, sometime when Candabe Owens first started her series
on the President of France and his first Nigga, somebody
called her from the White House and told her that
the President of France flew over here supposedly on official business,

(08:13):
but really he came to get Donald Trump to tell
Canis Owns to shut the fuck up, right, And it
was Cannis Owens disclosed last week it was actually Charlie
Kirk that Trump had called her initially, and then Trump
ended up back calling her back directly hurt himself, like, hey,

(08:34):
you gotta you gotta I mean, she looks like a
woman to me, man, you gotta stuff talk about his
wife on some like ship like that influence. So yeah,
and show did Charlie Kirk obviously right, He closely connected
with the White House, so I would I would, yeah,
I would say that he is a politician podcaster.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
Oh, sorry to interrupt, but speaking of the Prime Minister
of Frank Me. We left a day early because they
were having like this huge protest called block Everything.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
No yes, France, the shit is falling right, yeah, and.

Speaker 4 (09:10):
Baby, we had to get the fuck up out of there.
Like I was like, I ain't get this, Ain't got
nothing to do with me. They was burning shit in
the street, blocking highways and doing all kinds of foolishness.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
So we got up out of there.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
And you know, cannon Zones is being sued by them, right,
which is this unprecedented? Basically, you have a foreign nation
suing a podcaster because of the influence that she has
and because she do real life research. She's not telling you, Hey,
believe me because I say so. When I tell you,
she's gonna map shit out, even a motherfucker.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Whole family tree.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
So you can get a clear understanding and it's up
to you, right, yeah, a discernment, right, but it's up
to you to do your further research.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
She definitely gives.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
You all information and that's the problem. She got a
lot of people listening, tuning in and the sh it
make too much sense. So now they're trying to silence her.
So now they have now murdered somebody very close to
her because the reason why Trump had her call, had
him call Charlie Kirk call her because they are friends.
It's similar and influence, you know exactly. So you know,

(10:18):
so Charlie Kirk was murdered. He was shot and killed
while speaking at a TPUSA public debate even in Utah
at Utah Valley University campus. Is death gating international attention
that led to the condemnation, condemned, condemnation, condemnation of political

(10:40):
violence of prominent domestic and international figures. And then here's
the thing. It's like that is a part of American culture.
We kill politicians.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
Now. I don't know who the WI is because we
aren't the Wei.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Right, I don't know if it's one of them alphabets
or are these people operating, you know, on behalf of
a foreign nation. That's what it's looking like, That's what
it's seeming like. So who really runs America?

Speaker 1 (11:10):
Right?

Speaker 3 (11:10):
And they can just murder our presidents when they don't
do what they want them to do, when they seemingly
might be changing and and and seeing things a little
bit differently, and they snatch him up.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
It's not even just politicians. If you look at anybody,
especially in black people, you know, who had a powerful
voice and had influence.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
They get murdered young a lot of times.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
They're gonna take them up before they can actually make
huge yea even more impact. Right, we're talking to like
Martin Luther King, Like, we don't realize how young these
people are until we get past their age of living.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Right, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (11:51):
It's crazy, Like Martin Luther King was a young ass nigga.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
He just hell p Newton, Yeah, like just young young.
Oh crazy man.

Speaker 4 (12:04):
What happened to Charlie Kirk awful? You know, his family,
his kids were out there and he bled out in
front of the world essentially.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
And I put on my story stop sending me death?

Speaker 1 (12:17):
You think I do?

Speaker 3 (12:17):
Know if I be seeing the whole internet. First of all,
I have seen the entire Internet. I don't need nobody
who send me no memes like I like means like,
so occasionally I come across from shit I've never seen,
and I still like ha ha ha.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Even if I've seen it.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
I saw the video. Don't text me death, do not
inbox me death. We are becoming so desensitized. We are
not supposed to have that type of shit in our psyche.
It's not a video game. This is real life and
in front of a bunch of people. And I feel
like whoever shot him intentionally shot him in the neck.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
So he could bleed it out like that.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yes, so it can be as gruesome as possible. They
made an example out of him for a reason, and
none of us, you.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
Know, it's above it.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
Yeah, I agree, they can take any one of us out.
You know what I'm saying. You got a strong enough voice,
you start reaching the people. They're coming for you, right,
because I think that there as straws for sure.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
The veil is down right, So it's a.

Speaker 3 (13:19):
Lot of a lot of fig ship. People ain't going
for it, No more people asking questions now, Yeah, this
is the age of Aquarius. Y'all can't hide ship from
the people now. So yeah, I wish that black people
wouldn't make this a black and white thing. And I
don't know, actually it's like both sides making it a black.

Speaker 4 (13:40):
And because it's Yeah, because you see the HBCUs have
been getting death threats and getting threatening calls and then
closing down campuses just to ensure the safety of the students,
and a black person didn't do it. But I think
a lot of black people are making fun of what

(14:02):
happened to him, and that's why people are mad. There's
some people who like, I mean, I think it's awful
what happened to him, But I didn't.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
I didn't. I ain't gonna.

Speaker 4 (14:14):
Say I lost a whole lot of sleep over it.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
You know.

Speaker 3 (14:18):
So I have a hard time condemning people as much
as y'all think I talk a lot of shit like
I really, you lead people to their own vices and
they'll destroy themselves, right. So, yeah, I have seen old
videos where Charlie Kirk. And I knew about Charlie Kirk
before a lot of black people because you know, I
tune into more conservative views, right So, but a lot

(14:41):
of black people didn't learn who he was until he
passed away until the shooting, right so they didn't even
know like the type of shit he was talking on
YouTube and ship on his platform.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
Until he died.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
I knew exactly who that dude was, and I also
saw that he was he was kind of changing also, right,
So the stuff you are seen online aside from that
debate he had recently right spewing out all these statistics
because who the fuck is controlling the statistics, It's not us.

Speaker 4 (15:09):
And then some of them statistics were wrong that he
was saying, just completely wrong.

Speaker 3 (15:14):
Yeah, they have demonized black people so much that people,
you know, even some of our own people, they have
these talking points against black people because this is what
they're being told to say, to say essentially. But I
saw a lot of white people because of the other
outlets that I tune into in my timeline might look

(15:35):
a little bit different on Instagram as well. I see
a lot of white people also on Twitter talking shit
about him being murdered. A lot of gay white males,
a lot of gay white women. A lot of people
are talking shit about him. It's not just black people.
But what I do see publicized that most is this
one black woman who was just recently arrested at a
college campus, right saying.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
Ha ha ha, he's dead, da da da.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
I don't know why she was even arrested because isn't
that is that not freedom of speech? Right, she was arrested,
But this is what they publicize and make it look
like it's black people that's celebrating his death. I've mostly
only seen white men celebrating his death, and that's who
also murdered him.

Speaker 4 (16:12):
Right, This don't really have nothing to do with us. Absolutely,
it really has nothing to do with us. So it's
a shame, which brings me to our next sin of
the week. Did you see where that young black man
was murdered at a college campus?

Speaker 1 (16:28):
And was it mississipis Mississippi? Yeah, yep, and the.

Speaker 4 (16:36):
Play, but it's saying that his leg allegedly his leg
was broken and he was hung from a tree, so
he hung hisself from a tree.

Speaker 3 (16:44):
No, then this should happens more often than they report, right,
because there's no reason. Why was it twenty twenty one
where they had the they finally passed the Immittil.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Bill because black people are still.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
Being hung in America. So imagine we're in a super
duper twentieth century and they're just now passing the law
to not hang us because niggas are still being hung.

Speaker 4 (17:15):
Because we're still being hung, and that's crazy, And you
can't tell me that that baby did that to himself.
I've refused to believe that.

Speaker 3 (17:23):
No, absolutely not. So, I mean if you guys haven't heard,
because it's not all over the news like everything else,
like Charlie Kirk's death. So authorities are investigating after the
body of a twenty one year old student at Delta
State University in Mississippi was found hanging from a tree
on campus. The student was identified as a twenty one
year old Damar Travian. Damar Travian. They called him Trede

(17:47):
Reid of gre He was also international student. Looks right,
according to Delta State President doctor Danielle enes Ennis, our
community is deeply sadness is just a quote by the loss,
so it says the Delta States Director of Public Safety,
Mike Heeler said university police received a call around seven
o five am Monday in reference to the body of

(18:11):
a black male hanging from a tree near the central
campus pickleball courts.

Speaker 4 (18:18):
Right by the court. Yeah, that's what they said. It
was like on the track.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
The man is identified as reading his next akin was
notified of his death. So this is horrible. This is horrible.
And they've been marching in the streets for Charlie Kirk's
death and then this woman I can't remember her name,
that was murdered on the train in Charlotte by a
black man. The girl trying to.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
Correlate the two. They do not correlate. They're just trying
to make it a correlation. Even how.

Speaker 4 (18:57):
Nancy Grace was like bringing back the death, un does
he bring no bring back the fians guard to bring
break something of that nature when they didn't know who
exactly the shooter was. And then once they found out
that he came from a family or a retired cop
and a the mother was a school teacher or something
like that, and they're white conservative people. Now she was like,

(19:21):
pray for his mental health. It's like, why has the
rhetoric changed? What happened to the death? The death he
was wishing.

Speaker 3 (19:29):
And you have some politicians wanting to wanting to take
away gun rights for trans people. First of all, let's
call a thing a thing. It's not trans people. It's
white men. Yeakay, it's white men committing the crimes. It's
not a trans woman, right, it is a white man
committing the crime. So if anything, then this means white

(19:50):
men should not be able to carry weapons because they
do a lot of harm.

Speaker 4 (19:56):
White men are our domestic terrorists. When you hear of
a mass shooting, school shooting, political shooting, it's white men oftentimes.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
And you know, black women gave blames for everything that's
wrong about the Black community, But nobody's blaming white women
for raising terrorists. Nobody's blaming white women. What is going
on in the white household? Right that your son becomes
of age, purchases a gun and then runs up in
a predominantly black neighborhood grocery store which are predominantly a

(20:34):
black church and murders everybody in there.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
What did you teach him? How did that happen to him?

Speaker 3 (20:41):
I feel like you should go to jail, white lady,
if we condemning all the black moms. And the worst
part about this argument is that it's also our people
that be condemning black women, as if we are the
bunt and the cause of all the things. Right, I
got questions with the other side. What are y'all doing
at the house? A lot of nine the guns for

(21:03):
the kids, know one their child has have mental health issues,
But y'all, y'all know, my brain takes it a lot deeper.
I just I feel like they literally activating people, And
I don't feel like any of this stuff is just happenstance.

Speaker 4 (21:17):
If we could just do away with guns altogether, nah,
I think it would be better if there was a
way to like completely get rid of guns, and people
do if they actually had to fist fight or jug
it out, a lot of people would still be able.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
To jug it out.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
That'll never happen in America because it's too many guns, right,
So how are they to collect every single gun from
everybody that lives in America. That is the one thing
that actually saves us from a tyrant government because if
need be, that is what the Second Amendment about is about.
See when black people, when they hear people talk about
the Second Amendment, they all automatically think somebody's trying to

(22:01):
kill them. It's white people want their guns to kill them. No,
white people know who they cousins are and what type
of people they dealing with. They have their weapons and
their little small militias to keep safe of a tyrant
government just in case we got to fight the government.
That's really what the Second Amendment is about. And so
that in case like what we had what the last

(22:23):
few years, the shit that we've seen in America, the
shutdowns during COVID, all of these things, like it's ramping
up now.

Speaker 4 (22:31):
That was a military police in the city's running around
right now. I mean it looks like that's where we're
at it shit, and.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
People think like, oh, this is such a good thing. Listen.

Speaker 3 (22:43):
I'm not saying like there shouldn't be mechanisms put in
place to try to combat some of the violence. Absolutely right.
The mayor of Chicago was asking that if y'all going
to deploy military, the National Guard, they can't come here
with masks on their face. And I saw black people saying, well,

(23:04):
niggas on the street got mask on their face. They
got to do something. Y'all are nuts, Okay. The reason
why criminals wear a mask on their face and the
reason why police officers wear a mask on e it's
the same reason, so exactly, because when nobody knows it's you,
people are willing, people are more inclined to do a

(23:25):
lot of dirty shit. You just yeah, so you just
want to release all these people on our people.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Police with shisky's on is crazy? Right? Are y'all not.

Speaker 4 (23:36):
Thinking Ice Ice coming through with Shisty's on. I'm like, yo,
America is insane. And then I go to Paris. Paris
is insane, like it's just the Earth, the Earth, zero stars.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
No, this ship is about to start all over, and
that's why we've seen all this chaos. Right, we're getting
ready for the New Earth. So this shit gotta die.
And so please get yourself mentally prepared. Whatever you think
you gotta do, man and ship, We're all about the transcending.
If you can't, if you don't transcend, you're gonna be
left behind. Amen, let's talk about hold on before we

(24:15):
before we get off of since dam Dash obviously wants
to fight, because y'all, I don't know if y'all knowing not,
but I'll fight anybody about Charlamagne period in a real way. Okay,
the stoicism that he displayed on this interview with Dame Dash,

(24:35):
and he like didn't strangle this nigga on live TV.
I don't know how he could do it. I am
still a working progress.

Speaker 4 (24:43):
Yeah, I'm not impressed with how he handled that, because yes,
Dane was saying some real disrespectful shit to him.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (24:51):
So Dame Dash or death Dash, as Charlemagne called him,
he did the Breakfast Club in he was interviewed and
he said some real disparaging things to Charlamagne. He called him,
I mean not saying that being called gay is disparaging,
but if you're not, you're not a man that you're not.

(25:12):
You know, he was trying to insinuate that Charlemagne was gay.
Even Charlamagne said I'm not gay. He said, yes, you are.
He said he would fuck Charlamagne up. You know, he
literally said.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
That to him. You know, he just was angry. I
don't know why people think Charlamagne pussy.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
I don't know why because he's non confrontational, right, well,
I know for a fact Charlomagne would fucked dam dash
ass up.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
Yeah, that's and that's the crazy part. Like he just
practiced is restraight. And then he's mentioned.

Speaker 3 (25:48):
That he's fighting for a fifty damn there.

Speaker 4 (25:53):
This age and you're still talking about fighting.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
It's crazy. Yes.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
So he was like, you know, we're just different because
I would get my ass beat by thirty niggas I
ain't running or whatever. And he was like, you ran
when niggas ran up on you at the station. Selling
me was like, you're right, it was four men.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
I didn't run.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
So I'm at work like and you're trying to get
one up on me for the internet.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
Right. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
I got a family out of get I gotta get
back to. That's the difference between men and boys. See
Dame dash onely thinks about himself. You have a black
man who gave you a platform to come in front
of your people and tell him why they should fuck
with you. And what you did, you you wasted the
opportunity and you just showed people exactly why you're not
where you want to be. Because you are You're not

(26:34):
fucking humble. And I don't even like the definition of humble. Okay,
but he needs he's somebody who was a humble dam day. Absolutely,
you're not where you are because you self destruct. You
not where you want to be. Yeah, because he self destructs.
Everybody else is the fucking problem. Your children don't fuck

(26:54):
with you. The people you've done business with don't fuck
with you. You know you're in debt. You owe all these
people money. You don't do good business. You're not a
good business man. Right while you sho on somebody who
who had to come up and work underneath someone else, Right,
you're good person. There's that good person. And nigga, your

(27:14):
name is Dash. I mean, excuse me, nigga, your name
is dame. Even Dash Dash sounds sashy as fuck. Your
name is dame, Like that is like a mature woman?

Speaker 1 (27:25):
Is what ademe? Like the definition of a deme. I
don't give a damn. It's so damed Dash.

Speaker 4 (27:34):
So so you're.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
The lady, You're the lady of the race. Damn, Dash
is fucking nuts. Man, Sharla Man, shout out to you.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
Brother. She handled that so well.

Speaker 4 (27:48):
I don't think I could, Like if somebody came on
we talked back, talking that much shit to me, I
definitely would tell them they got to go. At least
he still let him stay on on the platform and speak.
And that's just impressive to me. Are you if you
don't get the fuck this is my This is my show, bitch?

Speaker 1 (28:09):
You know?

Speaker 3 (28:10):
So AA is on site and I might go as
far as having somebody hack your IP address so I
can get your home address, because who you talking to.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
It's just the level of petty I'm trying to take you.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
I feel like a lot of times people never got
their ass work.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
That's all he said.

Speaker 4 (28:29):
He got his ass by thirty men and then and
you probably had a concussion.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
And that's why your mental health is not right. That
he was in a slight kerfuffle. It wasn't no damned
Ashn't you.

Speaker 4 (28:45):
Rather know when the fight or flee? You know, fighting
four niggas by yourself? I don't see the point.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
Yeah, why right?

Speaker 3 (29:02):
That doesn't make you a man. So he was challenging.
He was essentially challenging Charlemagne's masculinity. He just reminded me
of a brat in school who nobody's laughing with you,
Nobody agrees with what you're saying, but you think because
you're talking the loudest that you're winning the argument.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
You aren't. You actually looked like an idiot. So there's that.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
There's that anyway, And you know, one part which leads
us into today's cussion, into today's discussion Jesus Christ tongue twisting.
Charlemagne said that Dame dash was real materialistic, right like that,
And that's part of the conversation I want to have today.
Do y'all feel black excellence, burnout a little bit or fatigue?

(29:46):
We don't get into what exactly that is and how
can you survive from it. All right, let's talk about it.
We'll be back after the commercial.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
All right, y'all.

Speaker 3 (30:02):
So today we wanted to chat a little bit about, uh,
you know, black excellence burnout. So y'all know we talk
a lot of mess. When we talked back, we unpack
a lot of stress as well. So today, are we
tired of always having to be great?

Speaker 1 (30:24):
Are trying? Always trying to be great? Yes? So a
drop exhaustion of.

Speaker 4 (30:34):
Go ahead, I was about to say, always trying to
look it, be good, feel good, show up perfect, be
the best parent, be the best daughter, be the best friend,
be the best sister.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Be the best wife, girlfriend is. And then and that's
why I practice a lot of solitude. I'd be by
my damn self.

Speaker 4 (30:56):
And then have to do it ten times better. You
gotta come ten times harder.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
The exhaustion, so exhaustion of black excellence or black excellence fatigue,
is the phenomenon of black individuals experiencing extreme mental, emotional,
and physical burnout from the constant pressure to overperform, outshine expectations,
and succeed despite systematic barriers like racism and anti blackness,

(31:26):
and sometimes that act anti blackness come from our own people,
you know.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
So it's just it's just super exhausting.

Speaker 3 (31:34):
And really, you know, I was listening to I thought
about this topic because I still listened to four for four.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
I don't know if y'all do.

Speaker 3 (31:43):
Jay z album for his last studio album, four for four,
and he has a song on their legacy, Legacy, Legacy,
and part of it he says, it takes my it
takes my hurt and help wait wait, he said, it
takes my hurt and help me find more of myself.
It's a gift and a curse. That's that's called the

(32:03):
red Queen's Race. You run this hard just to stay
in place. Keep up the pace, baby, keep up the pace.
You run this hard just to stay in place. Legacy, Legacy, Legacy.
So the Queen's Race is basically, you do you're doing
all these things right, but you have all of these
mechanisms put in place right, so you you going as hard,

(32:26):
you're being two times better just to.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
Stay in the same spot.

Speaker 3 (32:35):
But yesterday I had a conversation with my sister and
I was asking her, like, did you really learn anything
from mom and Daddy? Like you did our parents really
teach us anything? Because they I ain't learned nothing from
my parents for real, not like no, no, some like cooking, cleaning,

(32:57):
but like life things. My mama always had an eight
hundred plus credit score. She ain't teach me shit about
credit because she didn't understand it. She just knew you
get money, you buy shit, you pay for it.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Right.

Speaker 3 (33:09):
So the way that I understand credit and how you
use credit, you know, you leverage credit to build wealth
is just wasn't ever her understanding. So that's something she
could have never ever taught me. But that is something
I can then pass to my kid.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
Right.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
So when I'm asking my sister this, I was like,
you know, mom made sure we had like some someplace
nice to live. We had what we needed, not necessarily
what we wanted. And I think that that's also what
you know, differentiate differentiating my mom's household from a lot
of other people's. Like we lived in a house, but
you you got the ship that you fucking need in

(33:43):
here ain't gonna be all in And we probably had
a little extra the shit you need and a little extra, right,
So she afforded us not to have to live without
lights and shit like that, which a lot of people
didn't grow up like that, right, So I realize now
from talking to my oldest sister that now our generation
got to take it to the next level. It's not
going to all happen within one generation.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
They're right.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
So you feeling this burnout in this one generation. What
you're doing is just so the next generation because it's
a marathon, so the next generation can take the torch
and keep running. So maybe we are we not doing
enough because you know, older generations might think we're lazy.
The baby boomers might think our generation is actually lazy.

Speaker 4 (34:30):
How how can we how?

Speaker 1 (34:38):
I don't know?

Speaker 3 (34:39):
Because they had like five six kids in the house,
they work two jobs apiece.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
They did a lot that we just be like, nah, man,
I need a soft life.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
Like we are leaning more towards like less work making
maximum money. Yeah right, we're trying to figure out ways
where we can have a life of leisure versus work,
work work hard, like my house?

Speaker 1 (35:00):
What am I?

Speaker 4 (35:02):
How sorry to interrupew but with how it is now,
you can't even afford five kids. You can't afford to
feed five kids?

Speaker 1 (35:10):
Where did it go? Where?

Speaker 3 (35:11):
I mean they really they really couldn't afford to feed
five kids back then? But that is how you build legacy.
That is how you build generational wealth through family and
it and it starts with that big family and then
they branch off and everybody.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
Do their thing. But food.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
We not even have enough kids or family to even
we're trying to build black We're trying to do black
excellence and build black generation as single people. Yeah, that's
why you feel burnout. You're supposed to have a partner.

Speaker 1 (35:42):
I agree that part.

Speaker 4 (35:46):
So it's not that they didn't have the money. Follows kids.
Either my grandmother or my my daddy's side had eleven kids.
My mom and my mom's side has seven.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
A lot of people.

Speaker 4 (35:57):
Your grandma had eleven kids. Yes, they was fucking out
of both pains.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
And.

Speaker 3 (36:04):
One basically adopted from within the family. She raised somebody
another family member's kid.

Speaker 4 (36:11):
Well, just think about how much it costs how much
it costs to feed that many people versus how much
it costs today to feed that many people. I mean,
I always talk to my dad, and my dad would
always say he did a little bit of everything to
help feed his family.

Speaker 3 (36:26):
You know what I'm saying, Because it then starts falling
on the children. That's another part why we can't just
be having a whole bunch of kids, because yeah, you
can't take care of take care of all these children,
and it causes trauma for these people when they become adults.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
And these kids don't want to help. These kids today
don't want to help. Hell don't know.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Like we got a black owned restaurant. We got a
family restaurant in Charleston, soul for restaurant, and my cousins
and these are not these are our old accounts.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
Cousins.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
They like in a sixties now lay fifties sixties. They
are so broke up in there. Everybody got a back
brace on their kids. Do not want to work in there.
I worked in there two days last year and I
had to go to the fucking chiropractor afterwards. Walking on
that concrete hard floor trying not to slip in a
restaurant all day long for two days killed my back.

(37:18):
So imagine I'm now having doing that shit. That restaurant
has been opened basically since I've been alive so forty
years plus, and.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
They're like, I see your back, and you want me
to come in here? And when so like my little
cousin's like they figuring out.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
I think one of them working there like and she
kind of kind of is the only one keeping things going.
But they don't want to do it. They don't want
to they don't want to work that hard. It's hard work.
So I kind of understand how the older generation. I
know for a fact, like some of the problems that
my mom was having is because I'd be happy even

(37:56):
when shit fucked up. I'm happy and I don't want
to do the most every day. I don't want to
work hard.

Speaker 1 (38:05):
Yeah, that is not like.

Speaker 3 (38:07):
Where I find joy and fucking working real hard and
then period once it is like.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
Who wants to work? You know, I don't want to work.
I work because I have to. I want to do
this so that like, if I can't have it my way,
I would marry rich, start a.

Speaker 4 (38:28):
Some type of charity, build a charity where I give
back to my community and do pilates and then do
my podcast because I enjoy doing this.

Speaker 3 (38:39):
But do you see Nourra, you know Nora on social media,
that's real pretty model. Yeah, so she'd be cooking her
food in her family. She's pregnant right now with a
fifth or sixth child. All since twenty twenty, Yes, since
twenty twenty she fucking these babies out, okay, and she

(39:02):
cooks on the internet for a living and then she models.
You know, so you gotta find your niche. If you
don't want to do you don't have to go too
hard in life.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
That's what we're gonna do. Hey.

Speaker 3 (39:16):
So you know, black women are always saying how we
got like all these degrees, but we also then carry
a lot of debt that we are single in trying
to pay off by ourselves. And this is striving for
black excellence and greatness. A lot of people got degrees
that they're not using. You are not working in the
in the field that you acquired this degree for, right,

(39:40):
But your mama didn't go to college, your daddy didn't
go to college. So now you've become a professional student
with hell of student loans and you working have Horizon.
Oh you could be a manager up there, you know,
because they be busting them checks at Horizon. You know,
you might have you might've hit the little sick figure threshold,

(40:01):
but it's still not enough. So now you got to
do a side hustle, and you got to do social media.
If you're own a business, you got to do social
media too.

Speaker 4 (40:09):
You know, like it is content creator. Now you' door
dashing food and you work a full time job and
you a mom.

Speaker 3 (40:16):
To keep up with all the things. So the other
part of black excellence is materialism. So this is why
I was talking about Dan Dashing what Charlemagne said to him,
because I know Charlemagne is not a materialistic person. Yeah,
that nigga still got that old ass. Is it an
aviator or a navigator? Like I don't know if it

(40:37):
just keeps him humble or whatever, because he obviously got
other vehicles, right, and maybe he's gotten rid of it,
but I know I've seen that shit in the last
few years, his old ass navigator. Okay, they're still run fine, right,
But you got Damn Dash who I remember. I don't
know who it was talking about him, but how when

(40:59):
Damed was at the height of his career and how
they went to his Manhattan. I think it was Cameron
was saying, like the lavish shit that deemed Dash had
in his home, right, So you were living outside your
means at that time. Yeah, so you're you're talking to
black people.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
We are flashy people in general, Like we love nice things,
we like to look good, we like to clean up.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
You know.

Speaker 4 (41:26):
I mean, I think that's something that's just rooted in
us since before we came over here, if we did
come over here, you know, m hm.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
Over this weekend, I was in a restaurant here in Charleston,
and I saw one of the guys came from the
back of the kitchen, because y'all here, and it's probably
in most places, the niggas is always in the kitchen, okay,
and then all the white folks as waiters and greeters
and all that stuff. So this guy came from the
back of the kitchen, and he has so many gold
teeth in his mouth, and I'm like, you working in

(41:57):
the kitchen in a restaurant with gold teeth in your.

Speaker 4 (41:59):
Mouths screams insecurity to me, what do you mean?

Speaker 3 (42:04):
You know what I'm saying, Just holding on to that thing.
I think a lot of black people are more insecure
than anything, mh. Right, So you hold onto all this
stuff because you aren't. You're not financially secure. A lot
of black folks, a lot of us are not financially secure, right.
So you pack on the labels and all these things
to make you look like you're wearing you're trying to

(42:26):
wear your money essentially, right, as opposed to just fucking
buckling down and hustling. And you don't don't, don't buy
none of this bullshit. Don't spend twelve hundred dollars on
a bag, right, You could have done something completely different
with that money. But not only you do, you have
to do it to look good for other black people.
You got to make sure everybody on Instagram know you
got this ship too, and you're putting this shit on.

(42:46):
So materialism is also keeping us in a constant state
of having a.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
Keep keep up with the jones.

Speaker 3 (42:55):
That is a part of black excellence, right, looking looking
like money when you don't have any You don't have
no life insurance, y'all, I'll got life insurance. I ain't
talking about nobody. I just recently, after going to my
friend's funeral, literally yesterday, I'm like, And this is not
because I always think about I need to get life insurance.
I want a whole life insurance policy because I understand

(43:17):
how you can also use that to build wealth. Well, yeah, yeah,
I gotta give me a policy before the year out.
But yeah, you don't have life insurance, but you got
this bag. You know, healthcare party lapse, but you got
this bag. Insurance laps got this bag.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
Your back tooth need to come out, but you got it. Oag.
You don't have a side tooth, but you got this bag.

Speaker 4 (43:42):
Listen, I'll kill somebody excellence side to missing. I'll do
whatever it takes to get that tooth bad. Whatever it
take gets donate blood plasma. I'm selling bags cheese. I'm
not walking around without my tooth.

Speaker 3 (43:59):
Black excellence is having a side tooth. I'm set in
the standard today. Okay, nothing else.

Speaker 4 (44:06):
Don't forget the side too. Go to the Dennist, y'all.
Go that yellow stuff on the bottom.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
Look in the mirror right now. If you got yellow
shit caked up on the bottom of your teeth, go
get that cleaned off. Callus.

Speaker 4 (44:22):
Will it make you feel better? But that shit can
also cause health issues. You can die future, yeah, and
it can kill you. Get that shit out your mouth
right now, and it don't cost that much. That makes
me so mad when I see people, beautiful black people
walking around with calcified plaque on their teeth.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
Go get that cleaned. You literally can go on groupon.

Speaker 3 (44:50):
Because before I didn't have insurance, I would always get
my cleanings off groupon I'll go to a different dentist
every six months. Fifty dollars, sixty dollars. I don't even
know x Ray, I'm good. Just clean my tee, clean
my teeth fifty.

Speaker 4 (45:04):
If you're at that place where it's like Calcifi, you
need to get a deep cleaning because they need to
go beneath your gun line at this point, because the
shit living under there to at this point.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
So well, while y'all getting care credit for some ass,
get some care credit about them gums. Yeah, and then
stop putting the veneers on top of unhealed gum disease.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
Because listen, they'll take your money and do that to you,
but that's not gonna be healthy down the line. And
then once your your gums are all eroded and now
the Veneer's not staying on. Now you got fucking vampire
teeth because they don't file your teeth down the nubs.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
That shit just ooh, it pissed me off.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
You know, coming from a like a working in a
corporate world, you always almost always end up being the
only black person. A lot of times, I think the
company I used to work for feel like I was
the only person who got laid off because I was young,
black with no kids. Okay, I'm I'm trying to get
in positions to where I can afford some fucking kids,

(46:11):
and y'all fire me because y'all got kids. Basically, everybody
else has more at stake, right if they lose their jobs.
So you just figure I can just go and start
to fuck over someplace else. But I don't think I
ever walk into a place or room. I'm always myself.
I never feel like I don't belong someplace. I never
have what it's the little syndrome. They call it imposter syndrome,

(46:33):
imposter I don't ever have impostership syndrome. I think a
lot of black people also suffer from imposter syndrome. They
don't think that they belong in these spaces. You absolutely do.
That's why you're there, right, So fuck even just a
company have trying to have like diversity. Whatever we put
our minds to, oftentimes we excel, right, And that's why

(46:54):
they always change the game once we learn it, right,
They got a change in because we're gonna take we
gonna we're gonna shoot that ship through the roof every time.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
I agree.

Speaker 3 (47:05):
But that's that thing about running in place, though, So
we strive to achieve all these things and literally still
running in place. And I think if we are having
like black excellence burnout, it goes back to my initial
point was that you're not gonna achieve all the things
in this for this in this generation, right, so maybe

(47:27):
try doing the least. Let's talk of a let's talk
of an eight hour sleep challenge.

Speaker 4 (47:39):
Now that's now you. Now you're talking my language, bitch.
An eight hour sleep challenge sounds good because sometimes, excuse me, y' all,
sometimes you can't get your mind to stop. M Like
you're laying in the bed and all you want to
do is go to sleep, but your mind just keep
thinking about it, I gotta do this, I gotta do that,
or I gotta do this, or what did she say?

Speaker 1 (48:00):
Or what time was that?

Speaker 4 (48:01):
Or just always something and your mind just don't ever
want to shut down. And sometimes you have to like
even medicate just to go to sleep.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Mhm m.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
So it's that's all chronic anxiety, that's all Black striving
for Black excellence will lead you to chronic anxiety. Thinking
that you're not enough, think you gotta do this, thinking
this person is just comparison is the dream killer. For sure,
this person is doing more. You're not doing enough, man.

Speaker 4 (48:34):
And nothing all that nothing aided in that more than
social media. Social media will have you comparing yourself to
other people that you should You're the only person that
you should be comparing yourself to is yesterday's version of you.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
That's it. That's it.

Speaker 3 (48:55):
And like the small wins, you got to celebrate them
small wins every day, right, So like, like I procrastinate
a lot. If I write down a list of five
things and I get two things down on that list, bitch,
I won the day. Out give that when nobody says.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
I won the day.

Speaker 3 (49:13):
And that's really got how you got to look at it,
because it's not about the instant gratification. It is the
build up to the thing, right as day, small daily
doses of improvement.

Speaker 1 (49:25):
That will always get you to the goal.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
Right, so you don't have to do all the things
like people like man, everybody you got the same twenty
four I got.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
Fuck sleep.

Speaker 3 (49:33):
You sleep when you're dead. You're gonna die from lack
of sleep. One thing I'm gonna do is get my
rest And even I don't really get RESTful night's sleep
because again, the brain do be going, but I get
into bed and I rest my body. So even if
I don't actually go to sleep so really late, I'm
comfortable in the evenings, I'm laying the fuck down.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
Try it sometimes.

Speaker 4 (49:59):
And another thing is the space that you're sleeping in
at the very least, make it cozy, Make it cozy,
Bring clean that shit up, get rid of that clutter
in your space, because nothing is better than sleeping in
some freshly clean sheets in a room that feels like
a sanctuary to you. So whatever it takes to make

(50:21):
your space. You can let the whole house be chaos,
but where you lay your head, make that space a sanctuary.

Speaker 3 (50:31):
My problem is I will leave dishes in the sink,
and I'll be laying in that sanctuary, like you think
about that dish that sink.

Speaker 1 (50:39):
Yes, clutter.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
When you have a lot of clutter in your home,
that is how your mind is. My second room is
full of so much shit, Okay, things I want to
get rid of, and I'm like, i'ma just go in
there and I'm gonna just throw all that shit in
the trash. Fuck it right, And that is how I'm
gonna start a new brain, a new way of thinking.
Because it's like those things are in my way. They're
in my way mentally, not physically in my way because

(51:03):
I can close the door, right, but they're in my
way because they live rent free in my brain. Yeah right,
So I feel like I can't get to the next
thing until I do this thing.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
But just chip away at it. Every day. I'm obviously
shitting way today.

Speaker 4 (51:18):
I hoard the clothes I closed so bad. And the
only time I really throw away shit is when I'm moving.
And then I'll be like, I ain't order this shit
in sixteen years.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Let me throw it out. Let me get ready to
get tired and just start throwing all that in the trash.

Speaker 4 (51:34):
Yeah, but until then, my mind gives me a reason
why I need this skirt from.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
I'm gonna lose ten pounds and I'm gonna get back
into this.

Speaker 4 (51:41):
I got so many jeans, bitch, I don't wear jeans
because I'm tied in my eye. I'd be so uncomfortable
in jeans, walking around jeans with no stretch. I still
have some Listen, I've been My shit right now is
baggy jeans. And let me tell y'all where to go get.
I know this off topic a little bit. But y'all
go to air Apostle.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
Oh yeah, they got the good jeens.

Speaker 4 (52:05):
Girl, I got me some baggae jeans. Now, you gotta
probably go up two sizes to get them to be
baggy how you want it? American evil too, Yeah, I
was about to say American neighborhood.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
Yeah h but yeah, okay, okay.

Speaker 3 (52:21):
I'm sorry, but yeah, I think definitely materialism, and in
comparison with social media, is making people strive more and
more for these unrealistic uh goals. And I'm not saying
everybody can't listen. Everybody's told strive to do the best

(52:41):
they can do. But if your best is a house,
a car, and a job and your family, like, that's
your best. And it's okay because guess what. Those people
on the internet, a lot of them are in super
duper debt, which causes restless nights. You know, so it
looks good online, but you really don't know how these

(53:01):
people are living in real life. A lot of these
content creators are living together.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
Let's be clear.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
They live in the content creator house created in California
and Calabasas, where they're not even paying no damn rent,
and they are selling you a lifestyle.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
They really don't have.

Speaker 3 (53:19):
Just be careful what you consuming man physically, emotionally.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
Mentally, and I all think all the things social media definitely,
what have you thinking? You're not good enough if you allow.

Speaker 3 (53:32):
And that you're not doing enough. Yeah, and you are
doing enough. You are doing enough, right.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
You know. I'm about to make some macha. That is good.

Speaker 3 (53:41):
It's some days I don't got time to eat. At
least I can make me some macha today.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
That is a win.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
But you gotta prioritize eating, Ashley.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
I gotta prioritize eating more protein.

Speaker 2 (53:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:54):
Also, like that's the main thing right A lot of
my I don't begin enough protein.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
I really don't like.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
What if I should be like super skinny right now, bitch,
because but I don't get enough nutrients right now. I
haven't been for a few months now, and it's just hard.
It's hard to get the meals in right now. I
might need to do me some meal preps on Sunday.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Why don't you do protein shakes?

Speaker 3 (54:16):
I do protein bars sometimes, and I do I do
do protein shakes, not consistent enough, especially if I don't
work out. I usually don't drink a protein shake.

Speaker 4 (54:27):
And listen, y'all, because people think they're getting enough protein.
You need a grammar protein per pound of your body.
So if you're one hundred and fifty pounds, you need
one hundred and fifty grams of protein.

Speaker 1 (54:37):
Every day. We get a fraction of that.

Speaker 4 (54:41):
We think we eat some chicken at lunch and a
little tuna at dinner and we've gotten enough protein for
the day.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
And it's just a fraction of what you need.

Speaker 3 (54:49):
So yep, look, this thing says. Back in the day,
excellence was a Cadillac in the driveway. Now it's a
Tesla and a TikTok of you plugging it in.

Speaker 4 (55:00):
Not only do you have to have the Tesla, the
niggas got to see you plug it up, okay, because
if nobody.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
Sees you do it, it's not real. You don't have
it for real.

Speaker 3 (55:09):
I'm glad. I'm so glad that I am me, and
I don't care about none of that shit. I don't
be trying to impress people in that way. Never did,
never have I make the clothes. The clothes don't make me.
I don't need none of the stuff, you know what
I'm saying. I like experiences. I want to be able
to take all my friends and family on vacation.

Speaker 1 (55:29):
That is goals for me. I ain't gonna lie.

Speaker 4 (55:31):
I like me some stuff, but I love an experience too.
I'll prioritize the experience over stuff. But if I can
have both simultaneously, I will. I ain't gonna hold.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
It, but I am period. But I ain't gonna kill
myself to get it though. That's the thing.

Speaker 4 (55:51):
I'm not gonna make myself sick to get it. And
I just think I'll find if I'm finding fashion over
or channel, it don't matter, you know, period.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
So to the elders, excellence meant like sacrifice forty years
at one job, minimal vacations, work ethic was their identity essentially,
And you don't rest because you didn't you didn't earn rest.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
Like now we be going on vacation, like you need
a vacation.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
Even if I never feel like I don't deserve a vacation,
even if I don't work nowhere, I always deserve a vacation.
And it's fucking hard walking around being a human. If
I can go someplace and like just lay down and
I have to think about what I'm gonna eat, what
I'm gonna do just chill, relaxed, like I don't want
to go on vacation with.

Speaker 1 (56:43):
People who got an itinerary.

Speaker 4 (56:44):
Or I'm just about to say, some people be ruling
a vacation because they want you to stick to this itinerary. Okay,
by six we're gonna get up at six am to
go to an excursion.

Speaker 3 (56:54):
On vacation fuck you, I mean vacation after the vacation
with them two much let's just flow.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
And so for millennials, we're like the pioneers of burnout
and we ain't with that shit no more. So we
are the first generation of people saying loudly, this is
not sustainable. We do therapy, we do a lot of
self care, and we about the motherfucking soft life. Also, right,
we do do a lot of hustling because I mean,

(57:25):
this life, you just have to have a lot of
different things going on.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
To afford to actually breathe.

Speaker 3 (57:30):
And it's is just the basic necessities, right, what we
see on social media a lot of times, it's like
the extras, right that everybody also wants. You know, you
don't just want the house, you want the big ass
Mercedes in the driveway. Day one, you got to work
up to those things. And it's not going to happen overnight,
but it could happen in your generation. And then the

(57:50):
gen zs now. I got a problem with gen Z's
a little bit. Gen Zs are our nieces. Okay this,
I got one gen Z niece and I'm not I can't.
I don't know what the next two youngest under her,
what generation they are, but something happened with them gen Zs.

(58:12):
The millennials screw the gen zs up. And see this
is where we got to take into consideration with the
baby boomers. Our elders were saying, right, so now you
you're working super hard, millennial, you're sending your kids to
prom looking like they come from a home with two
parents who are fucking doctors and lawyers and attorneys, right,

(58:35):
everybody just looking like money, pulling up in a maserati
and all this stuff. And now they're spoiled and they're slow.
They don't have any life skills, right, they don't know
their password to their damn email, but they have sex,
and they just being just.

Speaker 1 (58:54):
Slow and retarded. I remember one.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
Day, I love you so much, niece. If you're listening,
I remember one day this girl came from outside. Right,
she had already been out the house that day.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
I hadn't been.

Speaker 3 (59:08):
She came in my room and said, what's the temperate job?
So I had to feel outside to day? I said,
weren't you out there? Weren't you out there? I haven't
been outside? Why are you don't remember what it felt like?

Speaker 1 (59:21):
I gotta guide you to that too, right? And then
you have Google on your phone?

Speaker 4 (59:27):
Right?

Speaker 1 (59:28):
Yes, Google it? Did you see that.

Speaker 4 (59:30):
Video of the dad gave his son the end of
the measuring tape and then he started to dare and
walked with him and he followed him.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
Baby.

Speaker 4 (59:39):
I was like, and that's really a clear depiction of
what's going on with our gen zers, and it's our
fall because I just think that we wanted to give
them a soft life, a life that we didn't have
growing up, and in that we have weaken them.

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
They Okay, So the thing is that they're a little
They have a lot of strengths that we don't have, right,
because I feel like they are more of the freelancers,
They are more a little bit more entrepreneurial. Yes, they
the social media shit, They're gonna take that to the max.
So they may have to do the least. I got
a couple homegirls who daughters are like the social media girlies,

(01:00:22):
you know what I'm saying. They got there two hundred
thousand followers and stuff like that, like just making lifestyle content, right,
and they've been living on their own since they was
eighteen doing this shit right, you know, buying houses. So
it's it's just just different, right, So I don't think
that's lazy, though our our parents would call that lazy
because they're not working for someone else. Guess stupid period,

(01:00:45):
as long as they get money. So this actually says, uh,
gen Z's they boldly. They're boldly rejecting grind culture. They're
choosing joy, They're freelancing, and uh have unapologetic boundaries. Okay,
they really about themselves. They are kind of selfish. I'll
say that gen Z kids are kind of selfish and

(01:01:10):
there no looks like rebellion, but it's really liberation. No,
it's a complete statement, all right. My mom calls me
selfish because I know how to tell people. No, I
just I'm not just I'm not into doing things I
don't feel like doing anymore. I have over extended myself
a lot in life and so now, yeah, I had
to learn that Noah was a complete sentence. I had

(01:01:32):
to start talking myself because you'll overextend yourself to people
and there's no reward for it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
There's no extreme thank you. You just burnt in the
name of other people.

Speaker 3 (01:01:43):
Right, So this says Grandma worked forty years straight with
one vacation to Atlantic City.

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
Meanwhile gen Z wants.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
What a sabbatical? Sabbatical after a stressful zoom call, like
you want to quit?

Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
Yes, for sure?

Speaker 3 (01:02:03):
And then the boomers take self care is like a
self care is like a bubble bath, while gen Z
thinks it's quitting your job and moving to Costa Rica.
I mean, I feel like that as a millennial. Great,
fuck these jobs. Let me tell y'all, these people will
replace you. You gonna go so hard for this corporation,
climb this corporate ladder for them to either fire you

(01:02:23):
one or you die, and then they replace you the
next year. The next day they'll have somebody else you
in place. So I am more loyal to the people
I have to work with. I'm never loyal to a
company because they are not loyal to your ass whatsoever.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
Oughts in prayers thoughts and prayers.

Speaker 3 (01:02:45):
Absolutely, so, yeah, I don't know. I think our generation
we definitely rest in a little bit more. We're trying
to figure out ways in which we can actually enjoy living,
not having to work forty years and die.

Speaker 4 (01:02:58):
It was an old white on a boat in Pair,
Italy or something like that, and they was like sleep.

Speaker 1 (01:03:05):
There was riding the.

Speaker 4 (01:03:08):
I think it was in Paris to see in and
they would sleep on the boat and they was like,
don't wait this long to enjoy life.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
Enjoy it now.

Speaker 4 (01:03:16):
You can't even you know, you're not walking as well,
you can't stay awake, you're not even really getting experienced
because you've worked for years, so you could go do this, no,
do that shit now doing now? Fuck them bills. I
think that's what millennials are also good at. We're good
at fuck them bills. Is people staying live though, That's
what I wouldn't know. Somebody need to talk on I'm

(01:03:41):
still alive. I don't know the bills. I don't know, man,
I don't know how we're doing it.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
And you know, I always argue with the boomers, right,
y'all ain't have the y'all don't have our bills. No,
even if you have a home right now, you're still
not paying We paying for a new house. Okay, So
shot the fuck up talking to us about working hard.

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
We are barely living. They are like lottery ticket.

Speaker 3 (01:04:14):
We I don't know how we're doing it, but we
make it look good, yeal media, We make it look
real good. But take care of y'allself.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
Yes, please take care of yourself. Take care of y'allself.

Speaker 4 (01:04:27):
Listen, man, I I'm about to I'm about to get
heavy back on my uh my option trading. That is
the highest paying job in the world, y'all is to
learn the fucking stock market. So you got to get
into that, man, So you don't have to work multiple jobs.

Speaker 3 (01:04:42):
Plus have an Amazon storefront, plus have a TikTok plus
plus plus plus plus. But that's really what AI is
taking us though. It's taking us like computers and robots
are going to take over.

Speaker 1 (01:04:54):
So you are the product.

Speaker 3 (01:04:57):
You have to find a way to sell yourself to
the masses to make money in the near future because
these jobs, a lot of them, are coming to an end. Banking, financial,
all that shit is changing. So we might need to
get with the gen z's not even their generation. I
feel like my niece don't know shit about no computer.

(01:05:18):
What is the generation under gen Z?

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
Who's that? They?

Speaker 4 (01:05:22):
Like?

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
Early twenties right now? Oh? Is a generation gen Z?

Speaker 4 (01:05:26):
Is it?

Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
Not? Its gen Z?

Speaker 4 (01:05:28):
Like the last generation that's living. There's babies, they're not
gen Z. Still, No, the generations don't last that long,
do they. Let's look at it right quick?

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
Forty years? Oh, let's see. Okay, So.

Speaker 3 (01:05:48):
So generation beta, Oh, beginning twenty twenty five is generation Beta?

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (01:05:56):
Generation Alpha is born twenty thirteen to twenty fourteen. Gen
Z is nineteen ninety seven to twenty twelve. Then millennials
nineteen eighty one to nineteen ninety six. Two years, yeah, no, thirteen,
twenty thirteen to twenty twenty four Oh okay, yeah, and

(01:06:18):
then this current generation is the beta?

Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
Is that starting? Like? What does that mean? Beta?

Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
It's like a new beginning. So when we talk about
a new earth, beta is like testing, right, So think
about COVID and all the things that they did, these injections,
all this shit. What why are these babies called betas? Interesting?

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
The beta generation? The betas they tested a new world
order on the ass exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:06:49):
That's when that's exactly where I'm going at Anyway, y'all
challenge eight hours of sleep? Piccka day, picka day, every day.
Everybody can't get it every single day.

Speaker 1 (01:07:03):
I know.

Speaker 3 (01:07:03):
Let's we can for a challenge for a whole week,
whole week eight hour I just think that's not feasible
for a lot of people because a lot of people
are working two jobs doing a bunch of different things.
So and we can do two days out the week.
Can y'all get sixteen? Can y'all get eight hours.

Speaker 1 (01:07:20):
Two days this week? Right?

Speaker 4 (01:07:23):
I'm gonna try hit us, Yeah, hit us up if
you were able to achieve a real RESTful like you
go to sleep at eight at ten o'clock by ten,
we want to sleep at ten o'clock and we waking
up at six.

Speaker 3 (01:07:34):
That's the millionaire's time, Okay, millionaires be up by five
five thirty. You really about this?

Speaker 4 (01:07:40):
Black gets you a bottle of Saratoga water. I guess
it's stick your face in it. If I buy that
expensive ass water, I'm drinking it. I ain't put my
face in it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:49):
I buy that water all the time I shop at
restaurant depot. So it's twenty dollars for the glass bottles for.

Speaker 1 (01:07:55):
Twelve of them. Yeah, that's a lot for water, is it?
Twenty dollars for twelve?

Speaker 4 (01:08:04):
They bought it twelve bottles of aquafita for five dollars.

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
You're you goddamn liver and kidney gonna be so full
of bullshit and hard metals. Y'all may get them glass
bottles and stop drinking out that plastic.

Speaker 1 (01:08:21):
We all going up out of here some way. God
damn it? All right, what's your last last that was? It? Gets? Sorry?

Speaker 4 (01:08:27):
Don't mind protect your piece by setting boundaries, resting when needed,
getting made hours you can, but if you can't get
it when you need it, baby, and refueling what truly
restores you?

Speaker 3 (01:08:43):
Because black black excellence is absolutely beautiful, but it should
never feel like punishment.

Speaker 4 (01:08:48):
And you know who you are listening to the sound
of my voice. Go get your teeth clean right now,
Go make the appointment.

Speaker 3 (01:08:58):
We need to have an episode on that. Like, not
only the teeth, y'all only be checking on them couchies.

Speaker 1 (01:09:05):
What that heart look like right? What that living looking like?

Speaker 3 (01:09:10):
When last year you had a full body scan, check
your your vitamin D levels and all your Oh that's
another challenge.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
Man your prostate. I really want to get this guy on. Andre.
Let's talk about the man that hit super close to home.

Speaker 3 (01:09:27):
All Right, y'all, Black Excellence, this podcast is we on
Black Effect, which is Black excellence. Okay, this is the
only black own podcast network. Really, Black Effect is the
only podcast network as far as I'm concerned, period. Okay,
So this is Black Excellence, and it's a lot of
black women that work a roun o'clock to keep this

(01:09:47):
thing going.

Speaker 1 (01:09:48):
Okay, out to yeah, shout out to all the black
women at Black Effect.

Speaker 4 (01:09:54):
And we five years strong, y'all. Five years. We just
celebrated five years absolutely.

Speaker 3 (01:10:01):
All right, Y'allso if you enjoyed this episode of Black Excellence,
y'all tune in every Thursday on the Black Effect. iHeartRadio
app wherever the fuck you get your podcasts at. This
is your co host, aj Holiday. It's two point zero
on Instagram's kick It Tam.

Speaker 4 (01:10:14):
Y'all is official Tambam on Instagram. Y'all follow me please,
I love y'all so much. Also follow We talk Back
Podcasts on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:10:22):
We love to have you.

Speaker 4 (01:10:24):
Remember speak now and never hold your rest, Amen, deuces peace.

Speaker 3 (01:10:30):
We Talk Back Podcast is the production of iHeartRadio. Visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.

Speaker 2 (01:10:39):
Thanks for listening and celebrating five years of the Black
Effect podcast Network with us. Keep following because the next
five years are about to be even