September 11, 2025 • 52 mins
In this episode of We Talk Back, AJ Holiday and Tam Bam celebrate the fifth anniversary of the Black Effect Podcast Network while diving into an honest conversation about love, dating, and self-discovery. They reflect on recent concert experiences and family visits, then shift into the realities of modern relationships—unpacking societal expectations, trust, and the challenges of commitment. The hosts explore the difference between loneliness and solitude, the power of communication, and the importance of choosing the right partner.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Peace of the planet. Charlamagnea god here.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Before we get into today's episode, we've got to celebrate
the Black Effect Podcast Network. It's turning five years old, man,
five years of powerful voices, unforgettable moments in the community
that keeps growing. This is the power of the platform.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Now let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
and the Black Effect Network.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Talk Talk. We're just two unapologetically black women with an
opinion who talks back. What's up? Y'all? Is your girl?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
A J.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Holliday? Y'all everyone, it's tampam. This is your time. I'm
live from parents And.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
What time is it over there? Why you look like
you're still in.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
The bed, because I am. Because I've been out partying
all night long, all night long. It's three o'clock in
the afternoon. I didn't get back into the hotel till
like five thirty in the morning. Shame. Did club stay
open all night over there? Yes? All night?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
One of those little strip remember Big Lizzo had got
in trouble when she was over there putting.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Yeah, no, oh, but I might try to see what
see that tonight before I leave. I forgot about that no,
so you know, it's Drake concert. So they had like
a bunch of Drake after parties around the city. It's nice.
I had a good time. I enjoyed it in the concerts.
I don't really know a lot of party next door
(01:36):
music though, so oh he on tour Drake too. I
didn't even I've never seen party next door. That he
a big nigga. He looked more like a party at
the restaurant the next door. Honestly, party at the buffet. Yo.
(02:00):
I'm sorry, party. I don't think I've never seen him either.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Let me see, wait a minute, party next door and
he'd be talking flying too. Let me not to say
big boys can't talk fly. We boys could be big
boys sound good on the phone.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Let's talk about it.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
And I met some random fat niggas on the internet.
You fucking ride him, just one in particular, when we
was at Benedict.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Bitch, When I tell you that dude was the same
size as his.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Fucking love seat, dang, I swear to god, I could
not believe he had like a seventy inch TV. He
was seventy inches, I swear to god. And he had
a bunch of sneakers they was all turned that Nigga
needed a kick to look at that party next door.
(02:55):
Oh okay, I haven't seen him, did he. I think
he might have gained weight and.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
He was thick. He was a thick boy up there.
He was little though, That's what I'm like. Wait, he big? No,
he been eating good, he'd been getting good tour checks
and they eating good on tour. Baby, I don't know.
Maybe on a protozoon very possible because he was thick
(03:20):
on that stage. Shame. What'd you do?
Speaker 3 (03:24):
I ain't do much this weekend? Actually, y'all what I
did do this weekend? Now, I did do a lot
this weekend. So on Saturday I visited with my mama
for like four to five hours, and then on Sunday
I visited with my daddy for like four to five hours.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
That's a lot. That was nice. I feel I got
enough visits for the rest of the year.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
You know, And I think I've said this before, like
when you calculate how often you actually see your parents, right,
So if you like, if your parents in the sixties
seventies and you see them once twice a year, three times,
like calculate like how long people be living and calculating
how many times you actually gonna see them again. So
what I'm saying is see your parents more often period.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I know, I need to go put my eyes on
my dad. I have not seen my dad in person.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Now.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
We talk every day in the group chat at least
good morning, but actually physically seeing him that wasn't on FaceTime.
It's been two years.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, Like I sat with my dad and found out
this nigga was diagnosed with prostate cancer this year and
had radiation. Didn't tell nobody, damn, damn. And in the
midst of telling him, my stepdaddy just had surgery, same thing, he.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Was like, yeah, I heard it.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
I just I said, you know what y'all are like,
y'all the parents, like, it's really real that you are
a child raising your parents because I guess you didn't
want anybody to have like, you know, the energy, the
negative energy about it.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
But I'm never for that. I'm always everything will always
be good. That is my attitude about everything.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, but I'm never going to Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
So I guess him and his wife knew. And I
was telling her how I'm so appreciative and have a
lot of gratitude and I'm very grateful for her, because y'all,
my step mama, My step mama is the saying that
we all in our forties, me her and my sisters. Okay,
but yeah, my step sister is the same. She's like
(05:23):
in between my two sisters. So she's like, yeah, that's
what I meant. My step mom, she's like in between
my two sisters age wise, and she'd be taking good
care of my daddy, thank god, you know what I'm saying,
because you don't have to do it. Yeah, until she'd
be like, hey, fuck that old niggabody to go get
then I'll step in. But I'm still grateful, Like she
(05:45):
made sure he take his medicine, put his little Yeah,
she takes care of him.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
So shout out to the young bitches with them old niggas.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Okay, yeah, we love y'all, especially when you got our daddy.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Let's get in the sins because she can of young,
which is an old niggas. Did you see summer Walker
popped out at the VMA's with a very death her
older gentleman absolutely sprinkle spring and I think biggas Mad
(06:19):
Niggas is big man in summer. Now this this I
don't know if y'all saw it. But this guy is
considerably older than Summer, and he's considerably wider, much whiter
than Summer as well in the normal white like that's
a pill. So he looked like a vampire. I ain't
(06:41):
gonna lie.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
He definitely a vampire. But to meet, his facial features
aren't the worst. And if he's a billionaire, he might
be the funniest nigga i've a seen.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I don't know, right, that's so.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
So she posted and she was like, fuck my type
period right because my type ain't working clearly. Yeah, she
already said she wasn't doing it for love no more,
She's doing it for the black card.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, I mean, I can't do no old less white
man like that could do that. I've been talking. It
is crazy.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
It's a couple of the social media girlies with their
white husbands, and I'd be like, girl, why are you
finding that one? Like?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Some of them be fine, yeah, a fine, like age appropriate,
But that man that make me think of Babs. Do
we have a BAPS situation going on?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
She definitely looks super bapfished on that uh red carpet,
and a lot of black men had a lot of
choice words. You know, I've seen wench. I hate that
term because our ancestors were not having sex with these
because they wanted to write to call a woman that
who is making a choice.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Right, that's just nasty. I hate that.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
I hate it so much. And like nobody has this
type of energy for black men when they date outside
the race.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Right.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
You know what I'm saying why black women be coming
from men is because y'all, y'all can't just say I
like my white women because such and such.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Y'all have to.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Say because black women such and such and such. That
is the problem we have. Other than that, we do
not give a fuck about your preference, right, but your
preference always seems kind of disparaging to black women. Like
that's what it comes with. You got to disparage us
to prove that you love your white queen.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Nigga, go do that. I ain't mad at her. I
ain't mad at nobody for choosing who didn't want to choose.
So no power team and black men be nice, damn
it ain't no, but black man, you don't see nobody
else talking shit in there.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
No, And it's almost like, so the thing is that
they say that black women go with white men like
for the money, right, clearly right in this situation, absolutely,
and why not, you know what I'm saying, Why we
got to keep dating down? But it's actually black men
who be pay per chasing when they fucking outside their race,
when they start fucking with the big white lady, they
(09:08):
pay per chasing, but they try to put it on
us as if it's what we're doing. A lot of
black women who date black who date white men usually
have their lives together. They're a little quirky black girls,
you know what I'm saying, most of them, and that's
probably who liked them. They went where they were celebrating, right,
what's the problem with that?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Agreed?
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Y'all don't like black women. A lot of y'all don't
like black women.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
And it's okay, especially that guy, that big ginger or
whatever his name from. I don't know if y'all saw that,
the UK rapper Ginger j Ginger j ooh. I don't
know if y'all saw that, the dustiest ginger ever, right,
and he was like, black women, that's not even your hair.
(09:52):
How can I argue with someone who doesn't have their hair?
Take the lotches off?
Speaker 3 (10:00):
What really triggered those black women as when he said
put you in your place, that.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Girl said what place? Place? Yeah, because what place?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
So apparently Ginger Jay has done a lot of prison time. Okay,
so listen, and I had the jail house niggas. Okay,
I'm not if you go in there and you already
with that type of time, it probably be easy if
you to slide into those activities a lot displaying that
(10:34):
type of aggression where you know a lot of people
going to see it is you don't you really do
you even like women? And you have somebody you can
tower over who's possibly afraid of you. It's because black
women aren't afraid of you. You want somebody to be
scared of you.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I mean not exactly, because why are you so angry though,
Like it's one thing to have you know, these are
your feelings, but why are you yelling and screaming at
people about your feelings about black women? And then he
said he don't like how his mother moved, And that
made all the sense to me, because you got a
black mom, and that's who you're mad at, and that's
you need to go sit with, Ayanba, you and your mama.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
And on top of that. I'm disappointed any other black
men that were in the room, Like, I feel like
he fight somebody. Was he going to go run up
and fight that girl?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Right because he was like, why y'all gotta hold him back? Yeah?
Very aggressive. So yeah, keep you an Indian woman, child.
We don't need you over here. Yeah. But did you
see this? There is a family out of Montgomery County.
Where is this Texas? I think it's Texas. I'm sorry,
(11:49):
but it says Montgomery County firefighters. Family has a daughter
on the way. The last time the Sherman family said
they had a girl born in their family was nineteen
one hundred and eight years and family is finally expecting
the daughter. Ain't been having nothing but all boys? Was
that a curse? Is the curse?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I mean, I bet you that family big as hell. Yes,
men be men, be pro creating. Okay, right, that's crazy.
This is a black family too. I wonder what happened,
but that, I mean, you know that's a blessing. A
lot of times, like men they be wanting boys so
bad they don't realize like that gene comes from them. Okay,
(12:32):
so you're the reason you don't have a boy it's
not your girlfault. Those are some some some. I always
think men who end up with a bunch of girls
are usually womanizers, like it'd be the good men who
have sons to create more good men.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Well that means literally every woman with the Sherman last
name was married into the family, married, married, married, there's
no girl, and then they had a boy too. That's crazy.
That's insane. Honestly, a hundred or eight years and not
a single girl until now. I pray blessings over that baby.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
I wonder who the family of the mom is, Like
she came through with them jeans like powerful jeans, yep, yep,
Trump Trump that yeh get a girl? Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I wonder.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
I wonder if there's any other families like that. Is
that like Guinness? That has to be a record, right,
one hundred years seventeen. Yeah, that's nuts. Not a single female.
So I saw this funny article. It said that female
octopus have been observed throwing objects at persistent males who
(13:43):
won't stop trying to mate with them.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
So it says it's smarter than we thought.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I saw octopus trying to drown a man like he
really was on him like trying to.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Get to his face to put the body over his face,
trying to kill his elf, throwing object saying I'm like
leave me alone. Damn right, I don't want to you.
It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
The p L p l O S One study found
that female octopus use a remarkable strategy, gathering shells, silt,
or algae in their webs and blasting it through their tifon.
I guess whatever it is to hit a target with
surprising accuracy, and this is in water. Also imagine you
(14:29):
had to crash it real hard for it to get.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Away from my house, They said.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Often females aimed at males, approaching too aggressively, researchers to
even observe them, adjusting their arm and repeating throws at
the same individual individual suggesting true intent. Maybe we need
to start that, you know, instead of like giving this
man the wrong phone number because you like don't want
(15:00):
to be harrassed.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Just man.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
I remember one time we got into a fight.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
We were some kids.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
It was my homegirl's boyfriend, it was my cousin's boyfriend.
We were all fighting, and man, my sister threw a
brick at that nigga like he was upstairs in his trailer.
We were all like downstairs, mad with precision. She hit
that name like imagine just a head like peep out
(15:33):
out a screen door like after he'd done Eve been
fighting all us outside.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
They got hit with a brick right in his face,
beat him. All right, what are we talking today? All right?
We are gonna talk about can you be single forever
and happy?
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Like?
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Is that the thing? Do you have to be connected
to someone for your happiness? Some women are saying they
don't want to be with anyone and they can be
fine like that. I want to get into it because
I mean, you know, who knows what the future wholes.
So we'll see. All right, we'll be right behind that.
(16:21):
Would you be okay being single forever?
Speaker 3 (16:25):
You know my last relationship I said that was the
last relationship. I literally I was like, Man, if this
shit don't work, I ain't doing this again. You know,
I don't have a problem being by myself, but that
is not my preference. I know this life is built
for double occupancy.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
You're not supposed to be trying to do life by yourself.
At a lot of us will and do right. A
lot of the divorced girlies love it single. Okay, you
got the kids already, husband at the house and they
chilling now understandable, they've already done it thing. I haven't
done the thing yet, right, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Sometimes I like, I listen to like some of my friends'
issues with their partner, and then I lay there like,
you know, thanking God that I ain't got that. But
then when I'm in there eating them factor meals in
the house, sitting there at a trade table by myself,
watching Netflix, alon be like, God, send me somebody. So yeah,
(17:28):
but you you eating factor meals.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
If you had a man there, you'd have to be
cooking actual meals. You're responsible for this nigga's stomach, and
they always want to know what, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Why you ain't get something before you got here. I'm
eating cereal tonight.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
That's one of the things I hate being like, I
understand the woman is responsible for the nourishment of the family,
so I will always like prepare the food and shit
like that. But man, when you single, some nights I
don't even eat.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
I just go to popcorn, popcorn in the glass and wine.
I don't always feel like eating. So you can have
some of you want some power worm, go eat some cereal.
My daddy used to say, get your air sandwich.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
If you think you're gonna be hungry, take two slices
of bread blowing between it and slap it together real
fast ship. Go make an air sandwich and get out
my face. But yeah, like, it's just certain things you
don't got to worry about when you single. You know,
you don't have to consider someone else all the time,
and that absolutely. And I think it's there's a difference
(18:33):
between a single woman and a single man. Like single woman, uh,
not to say we don't be out here smashing, having sex,
having fun. I think it's it's minimal. It's depending on
your age, right in comparison to men, like men is
out here just doing whatever, right right, smashing. Men like
relationships too, but they don't want the commitment parts. And
(18:55):
they might be doing all the things with somebody, but
they don't want like the title. Yeah, and I think
women kind of stay by themselves until they can get
that tight on.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Yeah, I agree, but I kind of like that too.
I've been know to not want a title, got to
call it anything it is, It's fine, We're fine, right.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
No, not for me, man, I be needing to know,
especially if I want to be in a relationship if
I don't want to. I mean, I'm never mentioning shit,
But then it's always when you are in that energy,
then the other person is always trying to figure out
what we're doing. Like men be trying to figure out
what's up too. It's just you trading pants with them.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I'm gonna say, like the both of the like, I've
only had like two really serious relationships that I call
serious relationships, and both times I was given an ultimatum.
Is that crazy? Like either we're gonna be together or
we just need to stop?
Speaker 3 (19:58):
But what was it a relationship then? Wasn't yeah, you
have actually committed to it.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
So even once they said like either they gonna leave
me alone or we gonna be in a committed relationship,
then I was like, all right, then let's be together.
I don't want I don't want you to leave. But
it was never like the other way around.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
I feel like I'm leaving if a nigga gave me
an ultimatum, what.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I mean, because technically we were already in a relationship,
it just didn't have a title. So I don't know.
I mean a commitment fold but that was a long
time ago. Now, I think I would want all the things.
It's nice, especially if you you.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
I don't know, man, it's just I know a lot
of it's hard because we just a lot of us
have been through the ringer with men. What I'm experiencing
right now is just like it's so good, right to
the point where I'm like, when is the nigga shit
showing up? Oh? Yeah, Like I'm self sabotaging in my
(21:03):
mind right because I've never experienced anybody be like good
day one. It's almost always you got to go through
this stupid ass rough patch, ghetto shit bitches, all these
different things, like to get to the promised land all
of a sudden, and by the time you get there,
it's like I don't even like you. An, Yeah, you're done.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
You've done.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Try to broke me, break me down, Like I'm really
ready to try this shit with somebody else at this point,
Like you're good today, but what about them other three
hundred and sixty days?
Speaker 1 (21:35):
So you said like this is your forever person, What
is forever? I mean, I'm listen. I will love like
I've never been hurt before.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
I will start over as many times as I feel
like I need to with anything, career, job, motherfucking just
life period, relationships, and I leave niggas, I definitely do
so I'm never scared to leave somebody. It might take
me a while to do it, but when I do
do it, I'm out of there forever.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I hope, I hope. So. I was about to say,
I don't know, you didn't answer the question just now,
but that's all we could do is.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Hope and then move forward and not with intention. You know,
that's all you can do. But uh, it's scary. It
is fucking like, I feel like this is more scary
than catch your nigga cheating, like or knowing your niggad
cheating and you ain't saying shit yet. It's more scary
when you're fucking with somebody with intention and you're sitting
(22:36):
there waiting for them other niggas. Yeah, somebody to kick
sweep you on your fucking head, like, damn, that's you.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
First of all, I've never been the type of woman
that can hold on to any information. If I find
out you're doing something, I ain't holding it in my
back pocket. I'm going right away, you.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Know, I'm the FED Show. I'm being a rico, you know,
because I don't like the nag. I do be liking
happy days. But when she start piling up, I'm be like, listen, now,
I was like, people say they want you to address
shit the minute it happens, but when you are actually
doing that, now you're nagging. If I'm actually addressing everything
(23:16):
every time I don't like something, now I'm nagging. I mean,
everybody does it, though I don't know like I don't.
I don't. I don't really address everything every time. Sometimes
it's okay to shut the fuck up. But you know,
when she started piling up and we get into this
thing like, yeah, I might start spewing off some shit
you thought I ain't know about because shut the fuck
(23:38):
up with me.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Yeah, I agree. I'm like, I do pick and choose
my battles. But if I find out you're cheating on me,
I'm not sitting on that. I'm not sitting on that.
I'm coming so that that I'm not cheating shit. I'll say.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
I remember one day where in my one of my
last relationships, I was actually looking for a reason instead
of just having knowing that you got enough reasons to
go why are you looking for a particular reason. This day,
I went through the nigga email and I saw he
was trying to go to lunch with one of his.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Not I don't even know what the girl was an ex.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
I just knew she was always a goddamn problem, right
and so, and we were working on like the food
truck at the time. So I go out to the
food truck, got your kids in my car, and I'm like,
and we're engaged. At this point, I said, you want
an open marriage? That was my way of letting him
know he was on some bullshit and I knew, do
you want to open marriage? So it's never like I'm
(24:32):
like you cheating.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Ain't da da da, No nigga, I like even playing
fields I am.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
I am definitely a one upper, so don't don't tip
me and I won't tap. So if you on that
type of time, I want to be able to be
on that type of time too, because what makes you
think I just want to be super committed.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
If you ain't right, I thought you was gonna say,
y'all pulled up on him. No, hell don't know. The
kid was like, stay away from my daddy trip. You
know what movie that kids with me though you never
seen Daddy's Little Girls where, Yeah, I remember, I don't
remember that scene. The lady pulled up on Gabrielle Union.
(25:12):
She on a date. She was on the best date
she had with another attorney, and a van pulled up
and the door slid open, and the little boys jo
dad like, stay away from my daddy. Tramp shit girl.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
I remember when I was leaving and I was taking
like food at the refrigerator, like I eat a lot
of things people don't eat right, so I'm not about
to leave. I'm leaving like I'm leaving, leaving, and his
son was like, why are you taking all our food?
It was at that moment I was like, you and
your daddy. I beat the one in here cooking and
(25:49):
slaving and fee of your eyes. You don't eat this ship.
I'm taking out hair. These are things I bought for me. Like,
why ain't taking hour He's just studying me. Why you're
taking all our food? Your Daddy's gonna get you some
more food. This is my food. What'd you say?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Shut up? Shut up? I missed those kids, man.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I definitely told his ass to shut up because I
was not taking all this food. This is daddy energy
just tapped into him right quick. Yep, that's all that
shit was.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Now he wouldn't know where the good shit going because
you look at peanut butter and jelly than this motherfucker.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
They definitely say, wake me up. We want your breakfast.
Didn't your daddy just give y'all cereal? But y'all want
my breakfast hot? It's better.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
So do we like what celebrities are like proudly single
versus like people who are like seem like they fake independent.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I don't think anybody is. I mean you had Beyonce
single independent, all these songs she was making, and really
she wanted a husband.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
You know what I'm saying? Like the girlies be talking
hell is shit, but they stay pregnant right you know?
Speaker 3 (26:56):
So why are we spreading that, yes, spreading our rhetoric
when really women want to be loved all of it. Yeah,
we want to be in love. We want somebody to
consider us. We want We just want it with the
right person and we don't want to have to go
through the fucking struggle first to get it. We just
want you to be a one day one.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
So I think if all women can find that that situation. Now,
I'm not saying bitches ain't crazy, because that's a lot
of women that are crazy as hell who probably need
to be by themselves because they cannot coexist with someone else.
But I believe for the most part, like women, just
women do want relationships. I think it might be like
a defense mechanism.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
I think that's what it is for me. Oftentimes, I
think it's just like an office meant like, why we
need to If I don't pick, nobody, nobody can hurt
me kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Yeah, I'm picking, and I like to pick, you know
what I'm saying. I like to pick because you get
what you want when you when you pick, So even
if you got multiple people pursuing you, you still get
to That's why it's important to date. And like we've
talked before, like black women just don't know how to
date because we were never allowed to. Yeah, right, So
white girls got multiple boyfriends, They got multiple friends. John,
(28:15):
all these people can come to the house, they hanging
out with them, you know, not even having sex.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
At least their parents think they ain't having sex.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
But you know, when black women get to the age
of dating, which let our elders tell it.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
It need to be after college.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Right, you know, yeah, you need to find your mate
while you're in college. You got to try to figure
out how to do both.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Well, it's just so far in college you're still like
so young. And especially I feel like the kiddies that
are well they're adults, the young adults that are in
college now, I don't think they are as mature, you know.
I think there's a bit of arrested development when it
comes with millennials and Gen z or and I think
(29:01):
like some of them don't even I mean, listen, I
don't feel like a lot of people get to know
themselves for real until they're in their thirties.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, yeah, you're right, men and women when men might
take it even a look than that.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
It's a proven scientific fact, yeah right.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
You might not be dealing with a fully developed male
until he's you know, late thirties.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Forties, early forties, and then sometimes.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
You know, they be thinking they'd to pick it the litter,
so they really they still be playing even in today forties,
Like my daddy is seventy two years old. I remember
my daddy's still playing in his fifties and sixties.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Okay, good out here, wrong. I was living with his
nigga for like a year or two. I saw it.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I knew when my daddy was coming home and when
he wasn't. If he put on like a tracksuit or something,
he coming back. If that and put a hat on
some hard bottoms, he ain't coming back. I don't seen
a bra on the fucking Like, what is happening? You
know you had a teenage daughter living here. He live
in his best life, best life for a long time,
(30:06):
you know, staying And now.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Do you have any friends that like swore they be
single forever and like now they booed up in love
and a different person, got a kid and all kind
of shit.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
No, not one of them. That's why I'm like, maybe
those women only exist online, or maybe those women are
ones who have been who are now divorced with children
and like fuck that. Or older women right in her
fifties or something like that. But young younger women like
our age, Like, no, everybody wants somebody like they looking
(30:39):
for their husband. They manifest their right and they list
out they're trying to manifest their husbands.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Everybody.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Do you know anybody who just be like sucked out?
Speaker 1 (30:48):
I want to be single, No, I don't know. You know,
actually I do? Is fun? Huh? Is she still getting
smashed up? She don't want to how to say she
don't want to have sex? Well, I think she just
so tired of men and like it's exhausted, being feeling,
(31:08):
feeling misused, because she definitely got like a very very negative,
very negative perspective, negative energy when it comes toward dating
and what you're gonna get and how you know, She's
just like, fuck these niggas, fuck them. I don't want
to fuck. I don't want to date. I don't want
(31:28):
to be bothered with them at all. I'm like, well,
are you a lesbian? And she's like, no, I'm not
gay either.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
I'm always fucked these niggas too, right, But I love
these niggas, Let's not get it twisted. Fuck these niggas
who be on that motion. Right, if somebody comes along
who isn't, I'd be ready. That's what I mean. Like
when I say fuck these niggas, like collectively for these niggas.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
As a as a body of people.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Yeah, but I'm never like I love men like and
I love love. I understand the power of partnership and
a union, you know, what I'm saying, even though a
lot of men don't understand, and y'all be out here
paper chasing, running in circles, you don't realize the bad
come with your wife, right, you know, and not saying
that you can't be shit without a woman.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
But whatever you got going on, I.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Bet you it will triple double, quadruple backflip.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Okay if you get a good woman. Do you think
there's a difference between loneliness and solitude.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Yeah, they a little bit, right, so they could be
a little interchangeable or they can be like opposite. I
think solitude is good, and you don't. You're not necessary lonely,
necessarily lonely when you're in solitude, I like to be
by myself, you know what I'm saying. I like and
right now I got like a long distance thing going on,
and it's good. Yeah, because I'm a Gemini right every
(32:51):
single day, Like I have to work up to that,
like I do like cohabitating, but I have to.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Work up to that, like in a long term relationship.
I think my like my last serious serious relationship work
lasted as long as it did because my nigga was deployed.
He was military, so he'd be gone for three more
and then come home for three months and then be
(33:17):
gone three more months, and that shit used to.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Just yeah, you really missed them. When you see them,
you miss each other. So it does make the love
like stronger. But once you like in that and y'all
in each other's faces every day all day, like you
really learn each other.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
That's the hard part. Like that's the hard part for
me of a committed relationship in my face every day
every day. Huh. I said, you're still here, Yeah, like
every single day, day in and day out, and y'all
always here. You know.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
I said I would never live with a man in
an apartment, and I mean the townhouse is essentially the
same thing, Like I have done both now at this point,
and it's not enough space. Yeah, because if you pissed
me off and you still can walk past me, I'm
going to trip. Last night, I was in here practicing kicksweeping.
(34:20):
I might post a video practicing that is funny, because
why are you because I want to KickSweep a nigga
in the midst of an argument, like when he like.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
That's not want to be.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
And wash their head like like pop up off the
floor a little bit.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Like, but I think relationships would last a lot longer
if people had that space.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
Well, I'm not opposed to separate bedrooms, separate bedrooms, separate bathroom.
We need a big ass house and we could take turns.
But nine times out of ten, man gonna be in
your room because your shit can be cleaner, better linen
all that, Like, it's a comfortable room. Your ship is
the playroom. I'm not opposed to, like older people start
doing it. My parents live in separate rooms right now,
(35:14):
both of them. Okay, both sets of family members. They
live in separate rooms.
Speaker 5 (35:19):
Yeah, because this time, Yeah, and I think it's healthy.
Were still individuals. You know what I'm saying. We're not
sleep in the same bed every now.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Get I would listen. I'm even one of those people
like if we sleep in the same bed, I don't
want to sleep on you. Get over there, like we
can cuddle, but then what's this time to go to sleep?
Please go to your corner and get the fuck away
from me, don't. You might can put a leg over
here a little bit, but don't be trying to hold
(35:54):
onto me like the last I keep saying, the last relationship,
he would want to like me to late sleep on
his chest? Do you have ground beef grown beef on
sh He had little curly hairs on his chest and
want me to sleep on that? And then he was sweat.
Oh hell no, get off of me. That'd be me.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
I started sweating immediately, like I want to cut over
for two minutes, and then like you know, I love
you and I'm turning my back to you. Yes, I
saw this diagram. They were saying, like people who actually
sleep back to back, like couples booty the booty, booty
to booty have the best relationships actually, like they're confident
in their relationship that we don't know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
So I'm trying to fucking sleep. Yeah, damn, you have
to be connected at the joints, Like god, damn, let
me go.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
Imagine being sleep and every night somebody like taking their
feet and rubbing the bottom of your feet with their toes,
you know, while they're sleeping, while you're trying to go
to sleep, while you're sleeping, every ain't gonna night, you like,
stop doing that to my fucking feet. How am I
supposed to go to sleep?
Speaker 4 (37:05):
Right?
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Somebody sickling the bottom of my fucking foot. First of all,
you probably don't want to do that with my foot.
You're gonna cut yourself.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
You got defense mechanisms like I don't know what type
of animal got raisins on the bottom of your foot.
Just to the nigga, try it.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
I've been staying at twenty years. Okay, all right, I
got some questions for me. Would you rather be single
forever or date someone broke? What the fuck? Hello? Why
we can't why we can't never like I'm here, bitch, got.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Why we can't ever have both stingle forever or date
someone broke?
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Because I understand broke is a mindset, So you have
a broke mindset. I can't fuck with you. If you're
currently in between blissings, I might give fuck with you,
you know what I'm saying. If you're a man with
a plan, I can. I would prefer doing that and
just being completely single. But if we going with this
exactly how it says, I would just be single.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Without adding in all the other factors.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
I would just be single because that is not a
happy life for me, because that is not a happy man.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah, because listen, the number one reason in the United
States that relationships. Dissolve is what finances. So I don't
want to be with no broke, angry man just so
I can say I'm happy I'm with somebody.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Yeah, and that's a lot of women's situations. They got
that dude, they can't get off their damn couch a.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Mad Okay, what about this one? Single for single forever?
Or deal with a cheater love?
Speaker 3 (39:03):
See, I've done that right, and it just doesn't lead
to a good place like there even if he stops cheating,
the trust is gone. I don't trust you not to cheat.
I don't want to keep harassing somebody about the past.
So if I can't do that, I need to get
out the situation. If you can't really actively forgive, because
forgiveness is given giving up hope for a better pass,
(39:24):
that's all it is.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
And if you can't give up hope for a better pass.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
You gotta get out of there. So I would just
be single then, just to stay with somebody who's always
gonna cheat.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
See for me, I don't know, because cheating ain't a
deal breaker for me.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
It depends on well maybe it depends on how you cheat.
And if you're giving pitches money like somebody could send
me like a roll of cash app and Apple pay
payments you've been sending.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
I'm outitor. Oh but what kind of what kind of
I don't know, because think about it, what kind of
women are you dealing with that you don't have to
do nothing for?
Speaker 3 (40:05):
There's a lot of women out here who can't even
ask for what they need or want. So even though
you know he doesn't have to show up with anything,
she probably maybe he's the type of person where you
got to actually ask him. It's not that he can't
do it, but he's not offering. She could be fucking with.
He could be somebody like that for her.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
For me over here, it's a little bit different. Require money,
like you don't require any like financial help, and you
just you be questioning a woman. No, You're like, what
are you doing? You're just getting You just want his
(40:47):
dick is crazy.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
And a lot of women just want the dick. That
is the weird part to me, Like that's all y'all
like man dick for brings. I have this argument with
a loved one all the time, and I remember one
time she said to me, well he got bills.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
Too, stole sounds like a personal problem.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
You asking me for money. Now, I gotta suck my
man's dick to give you a dollar. How is that right? Yeah,
I'm doing the dirty work, and you over here let
somebody hop on your body for what.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
I don't understand it. I will never understand it. At
least get a pack of cigarettes. Right, A dry person
or mass do not match? You?
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Remember Bud, your grandmama, she that's used to. At least
get get a pack of cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
All right? This is gonna come home single forever or
married with no sex?
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Does it okay? Does the husband have a bag, Yes.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
He's not broke. I ain't gonna say he rich rich,
but he ain't broke.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
I might could do married with no sex if you single? Right,
you're not supposed to be letting nobody smash on you
if you're single.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Right, No, that's not true. You have sex when you single?
Speaker 3 (42:14):
Maybe that's another episode. I mean you don't like Yeah,
of course, right, But most women want more than sex. Yeah,
most women want more than just letting somebody get on
their ass.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Most women, you know, not you If you want a
marriage with no sex versus being you didn't say I
can have no You said no sex. That means no
sex with him, and let's say that it's married with
no s with him, because I'm gonna get me. I
(42:53):
don't know.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
I just I have been in relationships where love is
going and you don't want to have sex, and you
just not even in the mood to have sex. You know.
So men always talking about how their wives are gonna
be giving it up. I'm gonna tell y'all a secret.
Women ain't gonna don't want to tell y'all. She don't
like you were giving that pussy up when we in love. Okay,
we can't wait for you to touch us.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
They move too high, they're bored and never rubbing his
foot on the bottom of their foot at night. They
can't get no fucking sleep. They like they get bored.
I don't even think it's I don't think it's good.
The stroke will change. It's the same position. We're gonna
start missionary and then I'm gonna flip you over, and
(43:37):
then I'm gonna do that a couple of times. I'm
gonna come and go to sleep. Same ship for twenty years. Yeah,
she tied. She don't want that no more.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
I think married people or people who have been in
long term committed relationships, they need to go go go
to a hotel more often.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Hotel sex be good. Vacation sex. That's what I always like.
The girl the say like they sex might be born
at home, but when they go on vacation, they get
splitted out by their men.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
Yeah, let's see, because you're just happy you're on vacation,
you got to worry about the kids ain't here if
you got them like it's just all fun times and
then maybe like that thing that made them like each
other gets rekindled, like they acting like kids themselves. You
got to keep that childlike energy man to keep fun.
And shit is just extra strict and too much adult
(44:26):
shit going on. Like we just living, working and paying bills.
I don't really feel like sucking dick. I really don't
feel like you know. So on one of our episodes
when I said, like I want a man who ain't
mad that we ain't having sex for a month for
our goals, I believe sometimes you have to practice abstinence
right from multiple things, just fasting to reach goals.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
You just have to, Like, if.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
You're milking a man every single night, I promise you
he's not producing. He don't have the energy too, if
you're doing it right, baby, because I put niggas asleep.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
So if your nigga always awake, you ain't doing nothing
every night? Every night is crazy?
Speaker 3 (45:08):
Yeah, like having sex every night, having sex every time
your man wants to have sex. That's not I wouldn't
suggest that to anybody. No, I'm not saying deprived, but
have a little boundary even in the marriage, to make
sure he keeps producing.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
Yeah, but a month is crazy? Is it thirty days?
It's four weeks? You break that down, it's thirty days. Yeah,
that's sound like, yeah, that's a long time, y'all just horny.
Why y'all are horning thirty days? And I got a
whole man right there. Every day it seemed like a lot.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
Yeah, but every day like we knocking our goals, Like
every day we doing things like might that might have
us tired? And this is in situations where you're building
you know what I'm saying, like, why do you even
what's the reward? What are we celebrating with the sex?
That's how I feel. I'm talking about relationship girl, by
that love shit, man ain't ship when them bill's piling
(46:12):
up on your ass? Yeah, you know what I'm saying,
like you only got enough money for bills, enough but
nothing fun.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Yeah, now that don't sound fun at all. Yes, and
why do you I have to be happy to have sex.
You have to be happy to have sex to do it?
WI are really really mad? One of the two toxic?
That's all.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
I'm here.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
You toxic.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
You be making up reasons to fighting niggas, so y'all
can have makeup sex.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I don't want to be upset. I don't do that.
Don't worry.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
You don't even know if you just don't do that
or not? Great the helly No, man, the more we fight,
the less I like you.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Yeah, but you never had like really good makeup sex
like mm hmm. I don't want to have sex. We gotta.
Speaker 3 (47:05):
We have to have had an in depth conversation about
whatever transpired, and maybe the day after tomorrow I'll give
it to.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
You three days. We'll revisit this conversation in thirty days. Nigga.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
Yeah, because you're not climbing up on me if you
don't piss me off. Because the problem with men, they
are already don't understand what intimacy really is. Intimacy is
not you tapping me on my shoulder, if you don't
pissed me off all fucking day, and now we're in
the bed and you think I'm supposed to happily give
you my pussy like this is somebody else going into
my body, my body. I can't let you go in
(47:42):
my body when you have not been being nice to
me all day.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Right, I agree.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
So intimacy starts when you wake up kissing on me,
rubbing up on me. If I'm cooking you breakfast, you're
touching me like the makeup, the makeup. I think of
makeup sex.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
I think of reinforcement of the conversation that we've had
to make up. Now we're having sex, not just we
was mad, but now I want to fuck.
Speaker 3 (48:07):
No, so it's gonna be like right after the conversation.
It's not gonna be a cool down period.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
It don't have to be no cool down period, as
long as we've communicated that you're sorry. See here's the thing.
I'm scared of people who say sorry easily.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
Because I really don't do shit. I try, my really,
my heart is my dam is not to do shit.
I got to apologize, whant to say sorry about it?
So when somebody can easily say sorry, they are going
to violate you again, Okay, if all they got to.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
Do is say sorry to get that play. No, it's
as long as that, as long as it feels sincere,
you know, not even like they're saying that just to
say it, but like if they're acknowledging my perspective and
they are seeing where what they did may have hurt
me or upset me or why it did, I'm okay
with that sorry. You know what if they do it again?
(49:05):
Hear me?
Speaker 3 (49:07):
What if they do it again the thing that they
apologize for, they do it again in a month and
a half now, a month and a half ago, was
that really a legitimate sincere apology?
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Seeing then, I know that's the slippery slope. That's what
you gotta see. Like, I'm a work in progress, you.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Know, no, not just change behavior, And motherfucker, don't never
have to tell me sorry. You don't never have to
apologize to me for nothing, I promise. I just don't
want to see that shit again.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
That's it. That's all you have to do.
Speaker 3 (49:37):
And I'm and I'm yeah, and I'm happy. I don't
want to see that shit again. If I got to
say something to you about the same thing again. I'm
building a rico.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
What's your last last?
Speaker 3 (49:54):
Y'all, bitch is better stop flexing like y'all happy being
single because you're not okay, and no, uh, I'm not
saying you're lonely, right. I think men they just think
that women are just going to die alone. The Bible
says man shouldn't be alone, okay, because we can. We
can be alone in solitude and and not be lonely.
(50:17):
We got relationships with our friends. You know, half your
niggas don't even got no healthy relationships with other men.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
We always want to have community, I believe as women. Yeah,
I agree, you know, so we don't got to worry
about being alone.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
Good loving people, good friendships, church, fine hobbies, and that's
more of you know, you have solitude and that's not long. Yeah,
so yeah, that's that's really My last last is like
we want, we want it, We want good men, definitely
want good men.
Speaker 3 (50:47):
A lot of women need to stop acting like it.
And it's because somebody ran into a bad man.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
Like the men.
Speaker 3 (50:52):
I can tell us choose better man, you'd be thinking
you choosing better and then all of a sudden, Michael
Myers shows up on your ass, you know. So we
be doing our best the information we have until until
it's representative, you know, dies, and then all of a sudden,
the real nigga polls up.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
It is like this you right shit, Well, listen to
me again, my last last I pray a healthy relationship
for anyone within the sound of my voice with whether
that be with yourself or with somebody else. Amen, period,
all right, period, period, all right, y'all, y'all single bitches.
(51:35):
If you enjoyed this episode.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
If you enjoyed this episode, y'all, tune in every Thursday
on the iHeartRadio, Apple, wherever the fuck you get your
podcast at.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
This is your co host, a j. Holiday.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
It's two point zero on Instagrams. Kick it tam bon soir.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
Bon nui. I see you next week. I'll be back
in America. I love you guys so much. Official Tambamo Instagram.
Remember speak now, I don't know, and never hold your
nigga because somebody else is out here sooner and they
trying to get asked. You bet.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
We Talk Back podcast is the production of iHeartRadio. Visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Thanks for listening and celebrating five years of the Black
Effect Podcast Network with us. Keep following because the next
five years are about to be even
Peace of the planet. Charlamagnea god here.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Before we get into today's episode, we've got to celebrate
the Black Effect Podcast Network. It's turning five years old, man,
five years of powerful voices, unforgettable moments in the community
that keeps growing. This is the power of the platform.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Now let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
and the Black Effect Network.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Talk Talk. We're just two unapologetically black women with an
opinion who talks back. What's up? Y'all? Is your girl?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
A J.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Holliday? Y'all everyone, it's tampam. This is your time. I'm
live from parents And.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
What time is it over there? Why you look like
you're still in.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
The bed, because I am. Because I've been out partying
all night long, all night long. It's three o'clock in
the afternoon. I didn't get back into the hotel till
like five thirty in the morning. Shame. Did club stay
open all night over there? Yes? All night?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
One of those little strip remember Big Lizzo had got
in trouble when she was over there putting.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Yeah, no, oh, but I might try to see what
see that tonight before I leave. I forgot about that no,
so you know, it's Drake concert. So they had like
a bunch of Drake after parties around the city. It's nice.
I had a good time. I enjoyed it in the concerts.
I don't really know a lot of party next door
(01:36):
music though, so oh he on tour Drake too. I
didn't even I've never seen party next door. That he
a big nigga. He looked more like a party at
the restaurant the next door. Honestly, party at the buffet. Yo.
(02:00):
I'm sorry, party. I don't think I've never seen him either.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Let me see, wait a minute, party next door and
he'd be talking flying too. Let me not to say
big boys can't talk fly. We boys could be big
boys sound good on the phone.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Let's talk about it.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
And I met some random fat niggas on the internet.
You fucking ride him, just one in particular, when we
was at Benedict.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Bitch, When I tell you that dude was the same
size as his.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Fucking love seat, dang, I swear to god, I could
not believe he had like a seventy inch TV. He
was seventy inches, I swear to god. And he had
a bunch of sneakers they was all turned that Nigga
needed a kick to look at that party next door.
(02:55):
Oh okay, I haven't seen him, did he. I think
he might have gained weight and.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
He was thick. He was a thick boy up there.
He was little though, That's what I'm like. Wait, he big? No,
he been eating good, he'd been getting good tour checks
and they eating good on tour. Baby, I don't know.
Maybe on a protozoon very possible because he was thick
(03:20):
on that stage. Shame. What'd you do?
Speaker 3 (03:24):
I ain't do much this weekend? Actually, y'all what I
did do this weekend? Now, I did do a lot
this weekend. So on Saturday I visited with my mama
for like four to five hours, and then on Sunday
I visited with my daddy for like four to five hours.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
That's a lot. That was nice. I feel I got
enough visits for the rest of the year.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
You know, And I think I've said this before, like
when you calculate how often you actually see your parents, right,
So if you like, if your parents in the sixties
seventies and you see them once twice a year, three times,
like calculate like how long people be living and calculating
how many times you actually gonna see them again. So
what I'm saying is see your parents more often period.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I know, I need to go put my eyes on
my dad. I have not seen my dad in person.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Now.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
We talk every day in the group chat at least
good morning, but actually physically seeing him that wasn't on FaceTime.
It's been two years.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, Like I sat with my dad and found out
this nigga was diagnosed with prostate cancer this year and
had radiation. Didn't tell nobody, damn, damn. And in the
midst of telling him, my stepdaddy just had surgery, same thing, he.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Was like, yeah, I heard it.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
I just I said, you know what y'all are like,
y'all the parents, like, it's really real that you are
a child raising your parents because I guess you didn't
want anybody to have like, you know, the energy, the
negative energy about it.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
But I'm never for that. I'm always everything will always
be good. That is my attitude about everything.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, but I'm never going to Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
So I guess him and his wife knew. And I
was telling her how I'm so appreciative and have a
lot of gratitude and I'm very grateful for her, because y'all,
my step mama, My step mama is the saying that
we all in our forties, me her and my sisters. Okay,
but yeah, my step sister is the same. She's like
(05:23):
in between my two sisters. So she's like, yeah, that's
what I meant. My step mom, she's like in between
my two sisters age wise, and she'd be taking good
care of my daddy, thank god, you know what I'm saying,
because you don't have to do it. Yeah, until she'd
be like, hey, fuck that old niggabody to go get
then I'll step in. But I'm still grateful, Like she
(05:45):
made sure he take his medicine, put his little Yeah,
she takes care of him.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
So shout out to the young bitches with them old niggas.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Okay, yeah, we love y'all, especially when you got our daddy.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Let's get in the sins because she can of young,
which is an old niggas. Did you see summer Walker
popped out at the VMA's with a very death her
older gentleman absolutely sprinkle spring and I think biggas Mad
(06:19):
Niggas is big man in summer. Now this this I
don't know if y'all saw it. But this guy is
considerably older than Summer, and he's considerably wider, much whiter
than Summer as well in the normal white like that's
a pill. So he looked like a vampire. I ain't
(06:41):
gonna lie.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
He definitely a vampire. But to meet, his facial features
aren't the worst. And if he's a billionaire, he might
be the funniest nigga i've a seen.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I don't know, right, that's so.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
So she posted and she was like, fuck my type
period right because my type ain't working clearly. Yeah, she
already said she wasn't doing it for love no more,
She's doing it for the black card.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, I mean, I can't do no old less white
man like that could do that. I've been talking. It
is crazy.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
It's a couple of the social media girlies with their
white husbands, and I'd be like, girl, why are you
finding that one? Like?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Some of them be fine, yeah, a fine, like age appropriate,
But that man that make me think of Babs. Do
we have a BAPS situation going on?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
She definitely looks super bapfished on that uh red carpet,
and a lot of black men had a lot of
choice words. You know, I've seen wench. I hate that
term because our ancestors were not having sex with these
because they wanted to write to call a woman that
who is making a choice.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Right, that's just nasty. I hate that.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
I hate it so much. And like nobody has this
type of energy for black men when they date outside
the race.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Right.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
You know what I'm saying why black women be coming
from men is because y'all, y'all can't just say I
like my white women because such and such.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Y'all have to.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Say because black women such and such and such. That
is the problem we have. Other than that, we do
not give a fuck about your preference, right, but your
preference always seems kind of disparaging to black women. Like
that's what it comes with. You got to disparage us
to prove that you love your white queen.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Nigga, go do that. I ain't mad at her. I
ain't mad at nobody for choosing who didn't want to choose.
So no power team and black men be nice, damn
it ain't no, but black man, you don't see nobody
else talking shit in there.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
No, And it's almost like, so the thing is that
they say that black women go with white men like
for the money, right, clearly right in this situation, absolutely,
and why not, you know what I'm saying, Why we
got to keep dating down? But it's actually black men
who be pay per chasing when they fucking outside their race,
when they start fucking with the big white lady, they
(09:08):
pay per chasing, but they try to put it on
us as if it's what we're doing. A lot of
black women who date black who date white men usually
have their lives together. They're a little quirky black girls,
you know what I'm saying, most of them, and that's
probably who liked them. They went where they were celebrating, right,
what's the problem with that?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Agreed?
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Y'all don't like black women. A lot of y'all don't
like black women.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
And it's okay, especially that guy, that big ginger or
whatever his name from. I don't know if y'all saw that,
the UK rapper Ginger j Ginger j ooh. I don't
know if y'all saw that, the dustiest ginger ever, right,
and he was like, black women, that's not even your hair.
(09:52):
How can I argue with someone who doesn't have their hair?
Take the lotches off?
Speaker 3 (10:00):
What really triggered those black women as when he said
put you in your place, that.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Girl said what place? Place? Yeah, because what place?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
So apparently Ginger Jay has done a lot of prison time. Okay,
so listen, and I had the jail house niggas. Okay,
I'm not if you go in there and you already
with that type of time, it probably be easy if
you to slide into those activities a lot displaying that
(10:34):
type of aggression where you know a lot of people
going to see it is you don't you really do
you even like women? And you have somebody you can
tower over who's possibly afraid of you. It's because black
women aren't afraid of you. You want somebody to be
scared of you.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I mean not exactly, because why are you so angry though,
Like it's one thing to have you know, these are
your feelings, but why are you yelling and screaming at
people about your feelings about black women? And then he
said he don't like how his mother moved, And that
made all the sense to me, because you got a
black mom, and that's who you're mad at, and that's
you need to go sit with, Ayanba, you and your mama.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
And on top of that. I'm disappointed any other black
men that were in the room, Like, I feel like
he fight somebody. Was he going to go run up
and fight that girl?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Right because he was like, why y'all gotta hold him back? Yeah?
Very aggressive. So yeah, keep you an Indian woman, child.
We don't need you over here. Yeah. But did you
see this? There is a family out of Montgomery County.
Where is this Texas? I think it's Texas. I'm sorry,
(11:49):
but it says Montgomery County firefighters. Family has a daughter
on the way. The last time the Sherman family said
they had a girl born in their family was nineteen
one hundred and eight years and family is finally expecting
the daughter. Ain't been having nothing but all boys? Was
that a curse? Is the curse?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I mean, I bet you that family big as hell. Yes,
men be men, be pro creating. Okay, right, that's crazy.
This is a black family too. I wonder what happened,
but that, I mean, you know that's a blessing. A
lot of times, like men they be wanting boys so
bad they don't realize like that gene comes from them. Okay,
(12:32):
so you're the reason you don't have a boy it's
not your girlfault. Those are some some some. I always
think men who end up with a bunch of girls
are usually womanizers, like it'd be the good men who
have sons to create more good men.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Well that means literally every woman with the Sherman last
name was married into the family, married, married, married, there's
no girl, and then they had a boy too. That's crazy.
That's insane. Honestly, a hundred or eight years and not
a single girl until now. I pray blessings over that baby.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
I wonder who the family of the mom is, Like
she came through with them jeans like powerful jeans, yep, yep,
Trump Trump that yeh get a girl? Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I wonder.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
I wonder if there's any other families like that. Is
that like Guinness? That has to be a record, right,
one hundred years seventeen. Yeah, that's nuts. Not a single female.
So I saw this funny article. It said that female
octopus have been observed throwing objects at persistent males who
(13:43):
won't stop trying to mate with them.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
So it says it's smarter than we thought.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I saw octopus trying to drown a man like he
really was on him like trying to.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Get to his face to put the body over his face,
trying to kill his elf, throwing object saying I'm like
leave me alone. Damn right, I don't want to you.
It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
The p L p l O S One study found
that female octopus use a remarkable strategy, gathering shells, silt,
or algae in their webs and blasting it through their tifon.
I guess whatever it is to hit a target with
surprising accuracy, and this is in water. Also imagine you
(14:29):
had to crash it real hard for it to get.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Away from my house, They said.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Often females aimed at males, approaching too aggressively, researchers to
even observe them, adjusting their arm and repeating throws at
the same individual individual suggesting true intent. Maybe we need
to start that, you know, instead of like giving this
man the wrong phone number because you like don't want
(15:00):
to be harrassed.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Just man.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
I remember one time we got into a fight.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
We were some kids.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
It was my homegirl's boyfriend, it was my cousin's boyfriend.
We were all fighting, and man, my sister threw a
brick at that nigga like he was upstairs in his trailer.
We were all like downstairs, mad with precision. She hit
that name like imagine just a head like peep out
(15:33):
out a screen door like after he'd done Eve been
fighting all us outside.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
They got hit with a brick right in his face,
beat him. All right, what are we talking today? All right?
We are gonna talk about can you be single forever
and happy?
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Like?
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Is that the thing? Do you have to be connected
to someone for your happiness? Some women are saying they
don't want to be with anyone and they can be
fine like that. I want to get into it because
I mean, you know, who knows what the future wholes.
So we'll see. All right, we'll be right behind that.
(16:21):
Would you be okay being single forever?
Speaker 3 (16:25):
You know my last relationship I said that was the
last relationship. I literally I was like, Man, if this
shit don't work, I ain't doing this again. You know,
I don't have a problem being by myself, but that
is not my preference. I know this life is built
for double occupancy.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
You're not supposed to be trying to do life by yourself.
At a lot of us will and do right. A
lot of the divorced girlies love it single. Okay, you
got the kids already, husband at the house and they
chilling now understandable, they've already done it thing. I haven't
done the thing yet, right, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Sometimes I like, I listen to like some of my friends'
issues with their partner, and then I lay there like,
you know, thanking God that I ain't got that. But
then when I'm in there eating them factor meals in
the house, sitting there at a trade table by myself,
watching Netflix, alon be like, God, send me somebody. So yeah,
(17:28):
but you you eating factor meals.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
If you had a man there, you'd have to be
cooking actual meals. You're responsible for this nigga's stomach, and
they always want to know what, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Why you ain't get something before you got here. I'm
eating cereal tonight.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
That's one of the things I hate being like, I
understand the woman is responsible for the nourishment of the family,
so I will always like prepare the food and shit
like that. But man, when you single, some nights I
don't even eat.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
I just go to popcorn, popcorn in the glass and wine.
I don't always feel like eating. So you can have
some of you want some power worm, go eat some cereal.
My daddy used to say, get your air sandwich.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
If you think you're gonna be hungry, take two slices
of bread blowing between it and slap it together real
fast ship. Go make an air sandwich and get out
my face. But yeah, like, it's just certain things you
don't got to worry about when you single. You know,
you don't have to consider someone else all the time,
and that absolutely. And I think it's there's a difference
(18:33):
between a single woman and a single man. Like single woman, uh,
not to say we don't be out here smashing, having sex,
having fun. I think it's it's minimal. It's depending on
your age, right in comparison to men, like men is
out here just doing whatever, right right, smashing. Men like
relationships too, but they don't want the commitment parts. And
(18:55):
they might be doing all the things with somebody, but
they don't want like the title. Yeah, and I think
women kind of stay by themselves until they can get
that tight on.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Yeah, I agree, but I kind of like that too.
I've been know to not want a title, got to
call it anything it is, It's fine, We're fine, right.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
No, not for me, man, I be needing to know,
especially if I want to be in a relationship if
I don't want to. I mean, I'm never mentioning shit,
But then it's always when you are in that energy,
then the other person is always trying to figure out
what we're doing. Like men be trying to figure out
what's up too. It's just you trading pants with them.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I'm gonna say, like the both of the like, I've
only had like two really serious relationships that I call
serious relationships, and both times I was given an ultimatum.
Is that crazy? Like either we're gonna be together or
we just need to stop?
Speaker 3 (19:58):
But what was it a relationship then? Wasn't yeah, you
have actually committed to it.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
So even once they said like either they gonna leave
me alone or we gonna be in a committed relationship,
then I was like, all right, then let's be together.
I don't want I don't want you to leave. But
it was never like the other way around.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
I feel like I'm leaving if a nigga gave me
an ultimatum, what.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I mean, because technically we were already in a relationship,
it just didn't have a title. So I don't know.
I mean a commitment fold but that was a long
time ago. Now, I think I would want all the things.
It's nice, especially if you you.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
I don't know, man, it's just I know a lot
of it's hard because we just a lot of us
have been through the ringer with men. What I'm experiencing
right now is just like it's so good, right to
the point where I'm like, when is the nigga shit
showing up? Oh? Yeah, Like I'm self sabotaging in my
(21:03):
mind right because I've never experienced anybody be like good
day one. It's almost always you got to go through
this stupid ass rough patch, ghetto shit bitches, all these
different things, like to get to the promised land all
of a sudden, and by the time you get there,
it's like I don't even like you. An, Yeah, you're done.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
You've done.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Try to broke me, break me down, Like I'm really
ready to try this shit with somebody else at this point,
Like you're good today, but what about them other three
hundred and sixty days?
Speaker 1 (21:35):
So you said like this is your forever person, What
is forever? I mean, I'm listen. I will love like
I've never been hurt before.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
I will start over as many times as I feel
like I need to with anything, career, job, motherfucking just
life period, relationships, and I leave niggas, I definitely do
so I'm never scared to leave somebody. It might take
me a while to do it, but when I do
do it, I'm out of there forever.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I hope, I hope. So. I was about to say,
I don't know, you didn't answer the question just now,
but that's all we could do is.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Hope and then move forward and not with intention. You know,
that's all you can do. But uh, it's scary. It
is fucking like, I feel like this is more scary
than catch your nigga cheating, like or knowing your niggad
cheating and you ain't saying shit yet. It's more scary
when you're fucking with somebody with intention and you're sitting
(22:36):
there waiting for them other niggas. Yeah, somebody to kick
sweep you on your fucking head, like, damn, that's you.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
First of all, I've never been the type of woman
that can hold on to any information. If I find
out you're doing something, I ain't holding it in my
back pocket. I'm going right away, you.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Know, I'm the FED Show. I'm being a rico, you know,
because I don't like the nag. I do be liking
happy days. But when she start piling up, I'm be like, listen, now,
I was like, people say they want you to address
shit the minute it happens, but when you are actually
doing that, now you're nagging. If I'm actually addressing everything
(23:16):
every time I don't like something, now I'm nagging. I mean,
everybody does it, though I don't know like I don't.
I don't. I don't really address everything every time. Sometimes
it's okay to shut the fuck up. But you know,
when she started piling up and we get into this
thing like, yeah, I might start spewing off some shit
you thought I ain't know about because shut the fuck
(23:38):
up with me.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Yeah, I agree. I'm like, I do pick and choose
my battles. But if I find out you're cheating on me,
I'm not sitting on that. I'm not sitting on that.
I'm coming so that that I'm not cheating shit. I'll say.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
I remember one day where in my one of my
last relationships, I was actually looking for a reason instead
of just having knowing that you got enough reasons to
go why are you looking for a particular reason. This day,
I went through the nigga email and I saw he
was trying to go to lunch with one of his.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Not I don't even know what the girl was an ex.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
I just knew she was always a goddamn problem, right
and so, and we were working on like the food
truck at the time. So I go out to the
food truck, got your kids in my car, and I'm like,
and we're engaged. At this point, I said, you want
an open marriage? That was my way of letting him
know he was on some bullshit and I knew, do
you want to open marriage? So it's never like I'm
(24:32):
like you cheating.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Ain't da da da, No nigga, I like even playing
fields I am.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
I am definitely a one upper, so don't don't tip
me and I won't tap. So if you on that
type of time, I want to be able to be
on that type of time too, because what makes you
think I just want to be super committed.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
If you ain't right, I thought you was gonna say,
y'all pulled up on him. No, hell don't know. The
kid was like, stay away from my daddy trip. You
know what movie that kids with me though you never
seen Daddy's Little Girls where, Yeah, I remember, I don't
remember that scene. The lady pulled up on Gabrielle Union.
(25:12):
She on a date. She was on the best date
she had with another attorney, and a van pulled up
and the door slid open, and the little boys jo
dad like, stay away from my daddy. Tramp shit girl.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
I remember when I was leaving and I was taking
like food at the refrigerator, like I eat a lot
of things people don't eat right, so I'm not about
to leave. I'm leaving like I'm leaving, leaving, and his
son was like, why are you taking all our food?
It was at that moment I was like, you and
your daddy. I beat the one in here cooking and
(25:49):
slaving and fee of your eyes. You don't eat this ship.
I'm taking out hair. These are things I bought for me. Like,
why ain't taking hour He's just studying me. Why you're
taking all our food? Your Daddy's gonna get you some
more food. This is my food. What'd you say?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Shut up? Shut up? I missed those kids, man.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I definitely told his ass to shut up because I
was not taking all this food. This is daddy energy
just tapped into him right quick. Yep, that's all that
shit was.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Now he wouldn't know where the good shit going because
you look at peanut butter and jelly than this motherfucker.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
They definitely say, wake me up. We want your breakfast.
Didn't your daddy just give y'all cereal? But y'all want
my breakfast hot? It's better.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
So do we like what celebrities are like proudly single
versus like people who are like seem like they fake independent.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I don't think anybody is. I mean you had Beyonce
single independent, all these songs she was making, and really
she wanted a husband.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
You know what I'm saying? Like the girlies be talking
hell is shit, but they stay pregnant right you know?
Speaker 3 (26:56):
So why are we spreading that, yes, spreading our rhetoric
when really women want to be loved all of it. Yeah,
we want to be in love. We want somebody to
consider us. We want We just want it with the
right person and we don't want to have to go
through the fucking struggle first to get it. We just
want you to be a one day one.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
So I think if all women can find that that situation. Now,
I'm not saying bitches ain't crazy, because that's a lot
of women that are crazy as hell who probably need
to be by themselves because they cannot coexist with someone else.
But I believe for the most part, like women, just
women do want relationships. I think it might be like
a defense mechanism.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
I think that's what it is for me. Oftentimes, I
think it's just like an office meant like, why we
need to If I don't pick, nobody, nobody can hurt
me kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Yeah, I'm picking, and I like to pick, you know
what I'm saying. I like to pick because you get
what you want when you when you pick, So even
if you got multiple people pursuing you, you still get
to That's why it's important to date. And like we've
talked before, like black women just don't know how to
date because we were never allowed to. Yeah, right, So
white girls got multiple boyfriends, They got multiple friends. John,
(28:15):
all these people can come to the house, they hanging
out with them, you know, not even having sex.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
At least their parents think they ain't having sex.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
But you know, when black women get to the age
of dating, which let our elders tell it.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
It need to be after college.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Right, you know, yeah, you need to find your mate
while you're in college. You got to try to figure
out how to do both.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Well, it's just so far in college you're still like
so young. And especially I feel like the kiddies that
are well they're adults, the young adults that are in
college now, I don't think they are as mature, you know.
I think there's a bit of arrested development when it
comes with millennials and Gen z or and I think
(29:01):
like some of them don't even I mean, listen, I
don't feel like a lot of people get to know
themselves for real until they're in their thirties.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, yeah, you're right, men and women when men might
take it even a look than that.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
It's a proven scientific fact, yeah right.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
You might not be dealing with a fully developed male
until he's you know, late thirties.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Forties, early forties, and then sometimes.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
You know, they be thinking they'd to pick it the litter,
so they really they still be playing even in today forties,
Like my daddy is seventy two years old. I remember
my daddy's still playing in his fifties and sixties.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Okay, good out here, wrong. I was living with his
nigga for like a year or two. I saw it.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I knew when my daddy was coming home and when
he wasn't. If he put on like a tracksuit or something,
he coming back. If that and put a hat on
some hard bottoms, he ain't coming back. I don't seen
a bra on the fucking Like, what is happening? You
know you had a teenage daughter living here. He live
in his best life, best life for a long time,
(30:06):
you know, staying And now.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Do you have any friends that like swore they be
single forever and like now they booed up in love
and a different person, got a kid and all kind
of shit.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
No, not one of them. That's why I'm like, maybe
those women only exist online, or maybe those women are
ones who have been who are now divorced with children
and like fuck that. Or older women right in her
fifties or something like that. But young younger women like
our age, Like, no, everybody wants somebody like they looking
(30:39):
for their husband. They manifest their right and they list
out they're trying to manifest their husbands.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Everybody.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Do you know anybody who just be like sucked out?
Speaker 1 (30:48):
I want to be single, No, I don't know. You know,
actually I do? Is fun? Huh? Is she still getting
smashed up? She don't want to how to say she
don't want to have sex? Well, I think she just
so tired of men and like it's exhausted, being feeling,
(31:08):
feeling misused, because she definitely got like a very very negative,
very negative perspective, negative energy when it comes toward dating
and what you're gonna get and how you know, She's
just like, fuck these niggas, fuck them. I don't want
to fuck. I don't want to date. I don't want
(31:28):
to be bothered with them at all. I'm like, well,
are you a lesbian? And she's like, no, I'm not
gay either.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
I'm always fucked these niggas too, right, But I love
these niggas, Let's not get it twisted. Fuck these niggas
who be on that motion. Right, if somebody comes along
who isn't, I'd be ready. That's what I mean. Like
when I say fuck these niggas, like collectively for these niggas.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
As a as a body of people.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Yeah, but I'm never like I love men like and
I love love. I understand the power of partnership and
a union, you know, what I'm saying, even though a
lot of men don't understand, and y'all be out here
paper chasing, running in circles, you don't realize the bad
come with your wife, right, you know, and not saying
that you can't be shit without a woman.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
But whatever you got going on, I.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Bet you it will triple double, quadruple backflip.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Okay if you get a good woman. Do you think
there's a difference between loneliness and solitude.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Yeah, they a little bit, right, so they could be
a little interchangeable or they can be like opposite. I
think solitude is good, and you don't. You're not necessary lonely,
necessarily lonely when you're in solitude, I like to be
by myself, you know what I'm saying. I like and
right now I got like a long distance thing going on,
and it's good. Yeah, because I'm a Gemini right every
(32:51):
single day, Like I have to work up to that,
like I do like cohabitating, but I have to.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Work up to that, like in a long term relationship.
I think my like my last serious serious relationship work
lasted as long as it did because my nigga was deployed.
He was military, so he'd be gone for three more
and then come home for three months and then be
(33:17):
gone three more months, and that shit used to.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Just yeah, you really missed them. When you see them,
you miss each other. So it does make the love
like stronger. But once you like in that and y'all
in each other's faces every day all day, like you
really learn each other.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
That's the hard part. Like that's the hard part for
me of a committed relationship in my face every day
every day. Huh. I said, you're still here, Yeah, like
every single day, day in and day out, and y'all
always here. You know.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
I said I would never live with a man in
an apartment, and I mean the townhouse is essentially the
same thing, Like I have done both now at this point,
and it's not enough space. Yeah, because if you pissed
me off and you still can walk past me, I'm
going to trip. Last night, I was in here practicing kicksweeping.
(34:20):
I might post a video practicing that is funny, because
why are you because I want to KickSweep a nigga
in the midst of an argument, like when he like.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
That's not want to be.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
And wash their head like like pop up off the
floor a little bit.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Like, but I think relationships would last a lot longer
if people had that space.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
Well, I'm not opposed to separate bedrooms, separate bedrooms, separate bathroom.
We need a big ass house and we could take turns.
But nine times out of ten, man gonna be in
your room because your shit can be cleaner, better linen
all that, Like, it's a comfortable room. Your ship is
the playroom. I'm not opposed to, like older people start
doing it. My parents live in separate rooms right now,
(35:14):
both of them. Okay, both sets of family members. They
live in separate rooms.
Speaker 5 (35:19):
Yeah, because this time, Yeah, and I think it's healthy.
Were still individuals. You know what I'm saying. We're not
sleep in the same bed every now.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Get I would listen. I'm even one of those people
like if we sleep in the same bed, I don't
want to sleep on you. Get over there, like we
can cuddle, but then what's this time to go to sleep?
Please go to your corner and get the fuck away
from me, don't. You might can put a leg over
here a little bit, but don't be trying to hold
(35:54):
onto me like the last I keep saying, the last relationship,
he would want to like me to late sleep on
his chest? Do you have ground beef grown beef on
sh He had little curly hairs on his chest and
want me to sleep on that? And then he was sweat.
Oh hell no, get off of me. That'd be me.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
I started sweating immediately, like I want to cut over
for two minutes, and then like you know, I love
you and I'm turning my back to you. Yes, I
saw this diagram. They were saying, like people who actually
sleep back to back, like couples booty the booty, booty
to booty have the best relationships actually, like they're confident
in their relationship that we don't know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
So I'm trying to fucking sleep. Yeah, damn, you have
to be connected at the joints, Like god, damn, let
me go.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
Imagine being sleep and every night somebody like taking their
feet and rubbing the bottom of your feet with their toes,
you know, while they're sleeping, while you're trying to go
to sleep, while you're sleeping, every ain't gonna night, you like,
stop doing that to my fucking feet. How am I
supposed to go to sleep?
Speaker 4 (37:05):
Right?
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Somebody sickling the bottom of my fucking foot. First of all,
you probably don't want to do that with my foot.
You're gonna cut yourself.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
You got defense mechanisms like I don't know what type
of animal got raisins on the bottom of your foot.
Just to the nigga, try it.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
I've been staying at twenty years. Okay, all right, I
got some questions for me. Would you rather be single
forever or date someone broke? What the fuck? Hello? Why
we can't why we can't never like I'm here, bitch, got.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Why we can't ever have both stingle forever or date
someone broke?
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Because I understand broke is a mindset, So you have
a broke mindset. I can't fuck with you. If you're
currently in between blissings, I might give fuck with you,
you know what I'm saying. If you're a man with
a plan, I can. I would prefer doing that and
just being completely single. But if we going with this
exactly how it says, I would just be single.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Without adding in all the other factors.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
I would just be single because that is not a
happy life for me, because that is not a happy man.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah, because listen, the number one reason in the United
States that relationships. Dissolve is what finances. So I don't
want to be with no broke, angry man just so
I can say I'm happy I'm with somebody.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Yeah, and that's a lot of women's situations. They got
that dude, they can't get off their damn couch a.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Mad Okay, what about this one? Single for single forever?
Or deal with a cheater love?
Speaker 3 (39:03):
See, I've done that right, and it just doesn't lead
to a good place like there even if he stops cheating,
the trust is gone. I don't trust you not to cheat.
I don't want to keep harassing somebody about the past.
So if I can't do that, I need to get
out the situation. If you can't really actively forgive, because
forgiveness is given giving up hope for a better pass,
(39:24):
that's all it is.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
And if you can't give up hope for a better pass.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
You gotta get out of there. So I would just
be single then, just to stay with somebody who's always
gonna cheat.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
See for me, I don't know, because cheating ain't a
deal breaker for me.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
It depends on well maybe it depends on how you cheat.
And if you're giving pitches money like somebody could send
me like a roll of cash app and Apple pay
payments you've been sending.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
I'm outitor. Oh but what kind of what kind of
I don't know, because think about it, what kind of
women are you dealing with that you don't have to
do nothing for?
Speaker 3 (40:05):
There's a lot of women out here who can't even
ask for what they need or want. So even though
you know he doesn't have to show up with anything,
she probably maybe he's the type of person where you
got to actually ask him. It's not that he can't
do it, but he's not offering. She could be fucking with.
He could be somebody like that for her.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
For me over here, it's a little bit different. Require money,
like you don't require any like financial help, and you
just you be questioning a woman. No, You're like, what
are you doing? You're just getting You just want his
(40:47):
dick is crazy.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
And a lot of women just want the dick. That
is the weird part to me, Like that's all y'all
like man dick for brings. I have this argument with
a loved one all the time, and I remember one
time she said to me, well he got bills.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
Too, stole sounds like a personal problem.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
You asking me for money. Now, I gotta suck my
man's dick to give you a dollar. How is that right? Yeah,
I'm doing the dirty work, and you over here let
somebody hop on your body for what.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
I don't understand it. I will never understand it. At
least get a pack of cigarettes. Right, A dry person
or mass do not match? You?
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Remember Bud, your grandmama, she that's used to. At least
get get a pack of cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
All right? This is gonna come home single forever or
married with no sex?
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Does it okay? Does the husband have a bag, Yes.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
He's not broke. I ain't gonna say he rich rich,
but he ain't broke.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
I might could do married with no sex if you single? Right,
you're not supposed to be letting nobody smash on you
if you're single.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Right, No, that's not true. You have sex when you single?
Speaker 3 (42:14):
Maybe that's another episode. I mean you don't like Yeah,
of course, right, But most women want more than sex. Yeah,
most women want more than just letting somebody get on
their ass.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Most women, you know, not you If you want a
marriage with no sex versus being you didn't say I
can have no You said no sex. That means no
sex with him, and let's say that it's married with
no s with him, because I'm gonna get me. I
(42:53):
don't know.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
I just I have been in relationships where love is
going and you don't want to have sex, and you
just not even in the mood to have sex. You know.
So men always talking about how their wives are gonna
be giving it up. I'm gonna tell y'all a secret.
Women ain't gonna don't want to tell y'all. She don't
like you were giving that pussy up when we in love. Okay,
we can't wait for you to touch us.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
They move too high, they're bored and never rubbing his
foot on the bottom of their foot at night. They
can't get no fucking sleep. They like they get bored.
I don't even think it's I don't think it's good.
The stroke will change. It's the same position. We're gonna
start missionary and then I'm gonna flip you over, and
(43:37):
then I'm gonna do that a couple of times. I'm
gonna come and go to sleep. Same ship for twenty years. Yeah,
she tied. She don't want that no more.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
I think married people or people who have been in
long term committed relationships, they need to go go go
to a hotel more often.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Hotel sex be good. Vacation sex. That's what I always like.
The girl the say like they sex might be born
at home, but when they go on vacation, they get
splitted out by their men.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
Yeah, let's see, because you're just happy you're on vacation,
you got to worry about the kids ain't here if
you got them like it's just all fun times and
then maybe like that thing that made them like each
other gets rekindled, like they acting like kids themselves. You
got to keep that childlike energy man to keep fun.
And shit is just extra strict and too much adult
(44:26):
shit going on. Like we just living, working and paying bills.
I don't really feel like sucking dick. I really don't
feel like you know. So on one of our episodes
when I said, like I want a man who ain't
mad that we ain't having sex for a month for
our goals, I believe sometimes you have to practice abstinence
right from multiple things, just fasting to reach goals.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
You just have to, Like, if.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
You're milking a man every single night, I promise you
he's not producing. He don't have the energy too, if
you're doing it right, baby, because I put niggas asleep.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
So if your nigga always awake, you ain't doing nothing
every night? Every night is crazy?
Speaker 3 (45:08):
Yeah, like having sex every night, having sex every time
your man wants to have sex. That's not I wouldn't
suggest that to anybody. No, I'm not saying deprived, but
have a little boundary even in the marriage, to make
sure he keeps producing.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
Yeah, but a month is crazy? Is it thirty days?
It's four weeks? You break that down, it's thirty days. Yeah,
that's sound like, yeah, that's a long time, y'all just horny.
Why y'all are horning thirty days? And I got a
whole man right there. Every day it seemed like a lot.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
Yeah, but every day like we knocking our goals, Like
every day we doing things like might that might have
us tired? And this is in situations where you're building
you know what I'm saying, like, why do you even
what's the reward? What are we celebrating with the sex?
That's how I feel. I'm talking about relationship girl, by
that love shit, man ain't ship when them bill's piling
(46:12):
up on your ass? Yeah, you know what I'm saying,
like you only got enough money for bills, enough but
nothing fun.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Yeah, now that don't sound fun at all. Yes, and
why do you I have to be happy to have sex.
You have to be happy to have sex to do it?
WI are really really mad? One of the two toxic?
That's all.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
I'm here.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
You toxic.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
You be making up reasons to fighting niggas, so y'all
can have makeup sex.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I don't want to be upset. I don't do that.
Don't worry.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
You don't even know if you just don't do that
or not? Great the helly No, man, the more we fight,
the less I like you.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Yeah, but you never had like really good makeup sex
like mm hmm. I don't want to have sex. We gotta.
Speaker 3 (47:05):
We have to have had an in depth conversation about
whatever transpired, and maybe the day after tomorrow I'll give
it to.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
You three days. We'll revisit this conversation in thirty days. Nigga.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
Yeah, because you're not climbing up on me if you
don't piss me off. Because the problem with men, they
are already don't understand what intimacy really is. Intimacy is
not you tapping me on my shoulder, if you don't
pissed me off all fucking day, and now we're in
the bed and you think I'm supposed to happily give
you my pussy like this is somebody else going into
my body, my body. I can't let you go in
(47:42):
my body when you have not been being nice to
me all day.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Right, I agree.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
So intimacy starts when you wake up kissing on me,
rubbing up on me. If I'm cooking you breakfast, you're
touching me like the makeup, the makeup. I think of
makeup sex.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
I think of reinforcement of the conversation that we've had
to make up. Now we're having sex, not just we
was mad, but now I want to fuck.
Speaker 3 (48:07):
No, so it's gonna be like right after the conversation.
It's not gonna be a cool down period.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
It don't have to be no cool down period, as
long as we've communicated that you're sorry. See here's the thing.
I'm scared of people who say sorry easily.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
Because I really don't do shit. I try, my really,
my heart is my dam is not to do shit.
I got to apologize, whant to say sorry about it?
So when somebody can easily say sorry, they are going
to violate you again, Okay, if all they got to.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
Do is say sorry to get that play. No, it's
as long as that, as long as it feels sincere,
you know, not even like they're saying that just to
say it, but like if they're acknowledging my perspective and
they are seeing where what they did may have hurt
me or upset me or why it did, I'm okay
with that sorry. You know what if they do it again?
(49:05):
Hear me?
Speaker 3 (49:07):
What if they do it again the thing that they
apologize for, they do it again in a month and
a half now, a month and a half ago, was
that really a legitimate sincere apology?
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Seeing then, I know that's the slippery slope. That's what
you gotta see. Like, I'm a work in progress, you.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Know, no, not just change behavior, And motherfucker, don't never
have to tell me sorry. You don't never have to
apologize to me for nothing, I promise. I just don't
want to see that shit again.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
That's it. That's all you have to do.
Speaker 3 (49:37):
And I'm and I'm yeah, and I'm happy. I don't
want to see that shit again. If I got to
say something to you about the same thing again. I'm
building a rico.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
What's your last last?
Speaker 3 (49:54):
Y'all, bitch is better stop flexing like y'all happy being
single because you're not okay, and no, uh, I'm not
saying you're lonely, right. I think men they just think
that women are just going to die alone. The Bible
says man shouldn't be alone, okay, because we can. We
can be alone in solitude and and not be lonely.
(50:17):
We got relationships with our friends. You know, half your
niggas don't even got no healthy relationships with other men.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
We always want to have community, I believe as women. Yeah,
I agree, you know, so we don't got to worry
about being alone.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
Good loving people, good friendships, church, fine hobbies, and that's
more of you know, you have solitude and that's not long. Yeah,
so yeah, that's that's really My last last is like
we want, we want it, We want good men, definitely
want good men.
Speaker 3 (50:47):
A lot of women need to stop acting like it.
And it's because somebody ran into a bad man.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
Like the men.
Speaker 3 (50:52):
I can tell us choose better man, you'd be thinking
you choosing better and then all of a sudden, Michael
Myers shows up on your ass, you know. So we
be doing our best the information we have until until
it's representative, you know, dies, and then all of a sudden,
the real nigga polls up.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
It is like this you right shit, Well, listen to
me again, my last last I pray a healthy relationship
for anyone within the sound of my voice with whether
that be with yourself or with somebody else. Amen, period,
all right, period, period, all right, y'all, y'all single bitches.
(51:35):
If you enjoyed this episode.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
If you enjoyed this episode, y'all, tune in every Thursday
on the iHeartRadio, Apple, wherever the fuck you get your
podcast at.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
This is your co host, a j. Holiday.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
It's two point zero on Instagrams. Kick it tam bon soir.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
Bon nui. I see you next week. I'll be back
in America. I love you guys so much. Official Tambamo Instagram.
Remember speak now, I don't know, and never hold your
nigga because somebody else is out here sooner and they
trying to get asked. You bet.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
We Talk Back podcast is the production of iHeartRadio. Visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Thanks for listening and celebrating five years of the Black
Effect Podcast Network with us. Keep following because the next
five years are about to be even
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