Never Hold Your Gay feat. Phillip Miller

In this episode of We Talk Back, AJ Holiday and Tam Bam dive into celebrity headlines, the influence of Black women on Black men, and the layered complexities of identity within the LGBTQ community. Special guest Philip Miller opens up about his experiences as a Black gay man, offering perspective on societal challenges, coming out, and navigating public perception. The conversation highlights the importance of self-acceptance, authenticity, and embracing one’s truth despite external pressures. Let’s discuss. Tap in and join the conversation.

Follow us!

@wetalkbackpodcast

@officialtambam

@ajholiday2.0

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
and the Black Effect Network Talk.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to
talks back.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
What's up, y'all, it's your girl a j holiday.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
What's up? Tam damn? Hey, y'all is Tam Bam. I
love y'all so very much. How you doing there?

Speaker 1 (00:27):
I'm well, I'm alive, I'm breathing, feeling fine, looking fine.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
How was your weekend?

Speaker 1 (00:37):
I can't talk about it.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Ooh ooh, that's good.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
I had to go.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
It was raining off fu a weekend child. I was
in the house, okay, laying down doing what I like
to do. So you were on your knees all you
can shut up. I bought a big ass thirty pound
box of oysters from the restaurant depot, so I need
a whole bunch of uh Rockefellers Oyster Rockefellas, and a

(01:05):
whole bunch of you know, oysters is a super apple aphrodisiac.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
So you were on your knees all week and got it?

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Whatever TMJ out of order.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
I went to UH, I went to Atlanta. I drove
down to Atlanta on Saturday and it came right back
on Sunday. The Turn and Burn. Yeah, just hang out
a little bit. Oh, the skull sign, Yeah, just to go.
I was off, so I was like, I'm just gonna
not sit around. I'm just gonna go somewhere. So I

(01:35):
drove down there, hung out with one of my friends.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
On your knees while you try to tell people, I'll
be on my knees on the weekend. That's why I
want to tell him what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
No, actually, I was not on my knees. It wasn't
that type of vibe.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Okay, Yeah, let's get this in. Uh girl, So Clarissa Shields, y'all.
I want to really like her because she is so innocent.
She's so innocent. Why did I hear that she was
a virgin up until she started fucking with papoos?

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Is that true?

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Like a thirty year old virgin.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
No, that's not true, because I watched when I was
on my way to London. There she is a movie
about her. You know that. No, yeah, huh, I watched
it and I think she was getting hit in the movie.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Oh was it?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Remember? Because I was drinking so much?

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Huh was it good? The movie?

Speaker 2 (02:33):
It was actually a good movie.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
I remember when she was on a breakfast club promoting it,
but I hadn't watched it. But apparently okay, so she
had been soliciting a fight to Laila Ali. Now, Laila
Ali has been retired for a long time now, but
she's the champ. So I guess Clarissa wants to fight
the champ. But do you think that would be a

(02:56):
fair fight.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
When did all of a sudden a fight old last
niggas become a thing like that's some news, get number
once for that back.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
In the day.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Now you want to fight a woman twenty years older
than you? It's crazy?

Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yeah, yeah, it is crazy. Is she twenty years older?

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (03:12):
Because Clarissa is only thirty, I believe, and Leila Ali
is forty seven years old, so damn near twenty years Yeah.
So uh, I guess Clarissa asked about fighting her a
while ago, and somebody asked Leyla about it, like on
an interview, and she was like, the money ride, I
might do it.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
No, she's a fifteen million.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, so Clarissa allegedly went and got the fifteen million,
and now Leila Ali is like, I'm not fighting you
know what, I'm saying like she was like Clarissa trains
every day. I'm sure right, Leilai is forty seven. I
have to hit the gym hard again like that and
like get ready for a fight. It would take her
a year, I'm sure. Yeah, the mom a wife like girl, girl, get.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
Out of my face.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
It right, and already I.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Would have win in that ring and let Clorissa hit
me one time and hit the.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Mat and got fifty left period, Like shit, it don't
make you like no less the champ. Sometimes you win,
sometimes you lose.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Seven we are you already stamped and approved at this point?
Like it's I listen. I started boxing over last week.
I took a boxing class. I really like it. I'm
going back.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
I should get your body together. Which you went to
Title Fitness?

Speaker 2 (04:29):
I know, I went to boxing. No, I went to
Robinson Neil. It's a real boxing gym. So it was cool. Yeah,
they wrapped my hands up. I didn't even know they
was doing all Like I ain't know all of that
ship and tail in boxing.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yeah, you gotta wrap your hands and then put it
in the gloves. I used to do Title boxing. That
is a good fucking workout, and my body was good
for I don't know, maybe three months.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
They stopped doing that ship or even started boxing. They
had me in there doing all kinds of callous the
nicks and ship like, yes, I tell you I was
poorn sweat porn. Yes, that's real, bitch, I love it.
So I'm going back this week.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, it's real, like intense. Yeah, I've done kickboxing classes before.
M hitch, no, Dad, Well, my leg heavy as hell, bitch.
My fucking legs so heavy, I feel like bricks. One
thing I've never been able to do is a fucking
pull up. Like that's really like goals in life for

(05:32):
me to be able to pull my own body. Let
the zombie apocalypse hit, like, and I got to hang
off a cliff, bitch, I'm dead early, bitch, I've got
if I got to hold on for their life, I'm dying.
Maybe adrenaline might help me, but I don't know.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
I haven't done a pull up in a long time,
so I'm pretty sure I can't do one right now.
But I was in ROTC so we had to do
pull ups. Yeah, but yeah, no probably not now. My
bottom heavy at hell.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
And I can never do the monkey bars like going
for the next one. To the next one.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
I can never do it.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
No, I always been chunky. I've never been able to
lift my own bodyweight. Bitch ever goals anyway, Clarissa relaxed.
Okay Ley Loly is first of all, too cute to
be playing with you that you don't give a Fuck's

(06:30):
scary lately? No, absolutely she has, but I give her
that now.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yeah, when you start talking.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
I'd be like, yeah, it's like all boxers have the
same talk though, from the men to the women. Like
I guess not Leay Lollly. Maybe she ain't get hit
enough in her head. But like Clarissa, sounds like Tank
to me, like the way they articulate their words and stuff.
Tank the the boxer. They sound slow.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Man the next one. Buster Rhymes faces AsSalt lawsuit.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
I't dismiss what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
I'm serious to go, I got it.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
They do sound a little slow, and I think it's
from getting hit in the head. Go ahead, God.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
Rhymes fut lawsuit for a former assistant so rapper. Buster
Rhymes is being sued by his ex assistant, who accuses
him of physical assault, verbal abuse, and wage violations. Busta
has dismissed the complaints as a smear campaign and is
reportedly playing in a countersuit.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
Why had that so? I read this article A little
bit right and Bust rhymes whose real name is what
is it?

Speaker 2 (07:42):
Trevor? Trevor something?

Speaker 1 (07:45):
He said, for a very brief, brief period, Dachelle assisted
me the guy who as suited him as Doschelle gambles.
He said, for a very brief period, Dashell assisted me,
but it didn't work out. Apparently Doschell has decided to
respond uh to being let go by manufacturing claims against

(08:07):
me in an attempt to attack and damage my reputation. Girl,
why the fuck I got Chelsea boots All advertising to
me on the internet now? Like if I take a
picture of my fucking screen, Like the fuck Internet man,
get to my nerves.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
I used to love bust around when he was what
was that? I feel like it was a Chris Brown
sound busterros was on? Was it look at me? Look
at me that?

Speaker 3 (08:34):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (08:36):
I loved him during that time. But more recently when
he's been like stroking a microphone like a dick with
his tongue out and then the spray painted hair and stuff.
What did that guy say that?

Speaker 1 (08:50):
Lady? Man on that video I sent you what did
she call it? A butcher?

Speaker 2 (08:54):
What queen?

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Fem butch queen? That might be busted rhymes.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
I don't even know what that means.

Speaker 4 (09:05):
Either, but it sounds about right.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
First of all, I could not translate that fucking video.
It's a lot of like these people have a whole
language that I just don't know what it is. There's
something about getting chopped coming out of the bathroom, and
I'm like, I just don't know what that means. Is
that a good thing? Do I want to get chopped?
Because it sounds like something I would.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Like, Oh yeah, I've seen a person calling back and
it's basically like you think, you think you look good,
but then they're like, did you look bad? Type thing
like chop you like, chop your esteem. I guess men
do that to women too, Like imagine getting chopped as
soon as you I'm thinking like shot when when he

(09:48):
was saying that, like shot or I'm taking.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
You're getting bit over and chopped down? Yeah, I like
to get Now, let's purpose that.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
I mean, we used to say chops, kid, It's like
that that was sex, Like y'all was chopping y'all didn't
say that in Columbia.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
No, I wasn't.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Girls shut up? In high school, you used to talk
about sex. We was definitely chopping. It's cool, definitely chopping
and getting chopped. Okay, but yeah, Bust Rhymes said this
man worked for him for a short period of time.
What do y'all think that means? No, Diddy?

Speaker 2 (10:29):
Shut up?

Speaker 4 (10:30):
Girls?

Speaker 2 (10:30):
So do you feel like every black man in entertainment
is getting sued like it's a writer of passage.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
It's not a rite of passage. But these niggas do
be doing shit to get suited about. That's the thing.
Don't give people the amo. It's not like these allegations
come out of nowhere. They have put people in positions
to fuck them up. Yeah, stop doing stuff, stay out,
lass in the house, get a wife. As much people like.
People always try to tie jay Z to bullshit, but

(10:59):
jay Z keeps his slate clean. I attribute that probably
to him having a wife's stability, a family. You got
a nigga like Diddy who just got a bunch of
baby mamas and he just he he's the king of
the castle and he does whatever it is that he
wants to do. It is no structure, you know, what
I'm saying. Everybody's bowing down to him. Get y'all, get

(11:20):
y'all a wife. I look at nigga sideways. Who's that old?
When no wife? What are y'all doing?

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Right?

Speaker 1 (11:27):
What are y'all doing? Get your life together? And I mean,
let's be honest. Bus and runs probably doesn't want a wife,
or does he have a wife.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
I don't think so. I can't imagine he was up
there stroking that microphone like that with a wife.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
I can't imagine that would be so embarrassed. I'm sticking
with him.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
I'm sticking beside him.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
All right, y'all. So up next on the docket for
stupid internet news. Apparently fans. I don't call people fans
when they're being mean, Like, that's not a fan, they
really hate you. So a twelve year old girl was
struck by a sex toy thrown at a w NBA
game in Brooklyn. Suspect sought by NYPD. So it says uh.

(12:13):
The NYPD Friday released a photo and a short video
of a man wearing a Beavis and butt Head T
shirt and an Ohio state cap at the New York
Liberty Dallas Wings game last week at Barkley Center in Brooklyn.
Police say that during Tuesday's game, an unidentified individual through
an object which struck a twelve year old female victim

(12:36):
in the right leg.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
Okay, yeah, where are y'all? Why that one dick's on
the court? Like, it's so stupid? People are dumb.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
It's this holestone. I guess the shirt is fitting.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yeah, that's what I said. But as soon as you
said that, I'm like this sound right?

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Who pays for tickets to go to a game to
do something that's fucking stupid? Like how do y'all have
the free time or the money to be idiots?

Speaker 2 (13:11):
How you really were and brought it with you all
the way to a game to throw it on the court.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
Not brought a dick, Like how did he even get
in the building with that? You might have just had
it on, but it ain't like.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
It's gonna set an alarm off.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
You might have just worre right, pant it's my dick
in a box.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
And make an example out of you.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yes, there's two men were arrested in connection with the
incident in Georgia and Phoenix.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
Like god, y'all.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
Travel the country to meet these niggas by these dicks,
Like what what? How? Like everybody's trying to find a
reason to go viral.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
That's what it is.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
Do something nice for someone or a lot of people.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
You know.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
I don't know, but NYPD said this is very reckless
and unacceptable behavior from grown ass whom. Yeah, because niggas
is not doing that. Black people are not throwing like
who the fuck even taking a penis out the house.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
Except for these studs. Yeah, that's about it.

Speaker 1 (14:26):
And they ain't talk about to throw they dick.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
They did. Ain't no games with them dicks.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
Girl, Oh I saw, I saw. What is this podcast?

Speaker 2 (14:39):
It's a podcast? You do is mad?

Speaker 1 (14:43):
No?

Speaker 2 (14:43):
He said he can't compete with the stud because she
can switch her dick out and he has.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
No no, no, no no. So this guy, I mean,
excuse me, this butch. She was basically saying, like a
real uh, a real butch is a virgin, Like you
can't have six kids and all of a sudden you
are study. Like if you a study, you gotta be
a virgin. That was her Like she was like, I'm
setting the red the rules now, and she's like a

(15:09):
grown ass man.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
I was scared. I don't know, you don't like dick,
if you don't at least try it once.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
Some people know they don't want to have sex with
a man from birth.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
Probably damn that's crazy. Yeah, so she's saying, if you
don't be so she was doing, if you.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
Know you know, I mean, that's how they be trying
to turn women out. Don't knocking and tell your try
I don't have so many dykes. Tell me that, like, bitch,
I'm cool.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
I know, I know it's not my thing.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Girl, By bitch, I'm cool, like I I know how
a woman head might feel. That's all you about to
do and throw some plastic on me. I'm cool with that.
I'm good on that. Thank you the fuck.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Listen to this last one poison lace beef Wellington. It's
a true crime dinner. So in Victoria, Australia, Aaron Patterson
was found guilty of poisoning relatives who ate her beef
Wellington packed with lethal mushrooms. The deaths of three family
members and the survival of another, pointing to a chilling
premeditated murder through cooking. Saga. Everything y'all going up out

(16:23):
of here, and I don't need no gun. As soon
as I saw it, said beef Wellington. I knew these
was white folks. If it would have said some ribs,
I would have been like, Oh, these niggas is wildace.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
Beef Wellington? And what does that all consist of? Like vegetables?

Speaker 2 (16:39):
And it's probably like some other seasoned beef wrapped in
something else? What is that when you wrap the meat
like it's like seven different meats like a log. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
Also beef Wellington's when you wrap it with like the
it's like dough on the outside. No, are you rapping
this with another meat? No, it's like a crusted beef
in the middle of no seasoning.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
I can't imagine that. Yeah, they put.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
No season Yeah, it's wrapped in a pastry.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah, and she put she put some daily mushrooms in
that shit. She said, y'all ain't gonna talk shit to
me no more.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
I'm killing had a policy on everybody, you know, white folks.
White folks will take out their whole family about some money. Yep, Okay, they.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
They always I just always saw them as awful, and
now they're just painting them as victims now.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
I mean they tried to you know, they tried to
say they were victims back then, but the way in
which they went on living after both of their parents died,
got murdered. It's just very suspect. But I don't doubt
that they weren't abused, Like they probably got tired of
that shit and now and just relieved and I'm gonna
just live now going Like one of the brothers, he

(17:54):
was like, I don't even he had a boyfriend. He
was like, I don't even really think I'm gay, but
my daddy was abusing me. So I'm just confused.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
Damn it said all the way around.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
I thought they were trying to get them out.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yeah, I don't know. I know the Kardashians was on
the job, so they might be out already.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Them dudes look like some demons.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
Those two, they don't.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
They don't look good.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
I remember them from my childhood. I remember that name
like there was big news when they their parents and Kelly. Yep,
all right, girl. We got my dear friend, Philip miller On.
He is the CEO and owner of Everybody Needs a Feel.
And we're talking all things gay, all things gay and black.

(18:41):
I mean, we have a lot of questions and I
needed answers, and there's nobody better to talk to. Them Phil,
So y'all stay tuned. Well, we'll be right back.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
As like his signature jeans every.

Speaker 5 (19:13):
Time you seum, he's gonna have on them, dark blue
jeans and black.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
In this I'm gonna get it.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
First of all, it don't look crazy sitting there.

Speaker 5 (19:24):
It doesn't look crazy, well when you keep pulling it
up like.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Keep rolling.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
Okay, what is wrong?

Speaker 1 (19:42):
But I saw this experiment online one time where they
did like a germ test on the crotch area of
a pair of men's jeans, and it was so much bacteria.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
In that area.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
Because for whatever, people take their jeans off and hang them.

Speaker 3 (19:58):
Up, which is crazy to me. Don't watch diabolical like
who raised you people?

Speaker 1 (20:03):
I guess they're gonna wear them five times and put
them in a cleaner.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah. No, that you think these men are going to
the cleaners, he's crazy. Okay. You think these men know
where are cleaners? Is? No, they don't know where? Okay, yes,
because that's your men.

Speaker 5 (20:16):
You know what I'm saying that there's a bar These
niggas not going to cleaners. They're going to the washing
machine in the house. Yeah, and they're probably still using
powders and not using just shaking out warrior five times.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
But you you like, what are you wacky to use powder?

Speaker 4 (20:34):
I still will. I will use the powder if.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
He's standing in your clothes. Sometimes use that bullshit. And
I do use like the colorless stuff like the time
freeing clear.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
Yes, you do use that.

Speaker 4 (20:46):
All right, let's start the episode talking about something.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
Talk about washing clothes.

Speaker 4 (20:52):
We gotta Philip on to talk about detergent, right.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
Tied in the window.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Oh yeah, that was the swingerst thing in England. You
will put the tide in the window. I let people
know the same. Yeah, kind of the same.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
Make sure my t is not everybody nice to meet
your neighbor.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
How's it going on over here?

Speaker 3 (21:19):
All right?

Speaker 4 (21:20):
So go ahead, started out, Oh.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
I don't have an intro.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
This is your home boy, well ship.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
I don't do this part, all right?

Speaker 1 (21:27):
Hold on.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
Miller, right, yeah, Philip Miller. I don't want to just
be like, hey, he gave y'all like, so hold on,
I need a intro, all right, give me like your job.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
Saw.

Speaker 5 (21:43):
I'm Philip Miller, and I have a consulting company called
Everybody Needs a Feel. I help with fundraising and help
with nonprofits. My slogan is I help small nonprofits become
big nonprofits.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Nice.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
Yeah, so listen, he did it. I ain't even got
to get the intro.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
He needs a feel.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
Everybody needs a feel, and it's very successful. Like I
saw you on the news or like you was on
something right, Yeah, it was on the news. I was like,
that's my friend.

Speaker 5 (22:08):
Yeah I'm black, and shout out to my friends. They
helped me come with the name, So thank you for
that one.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
Raising is a real skill. Like being able to get
money out of people when they don't want to give
you money is a whole skill. My homegirl texting in
the group chat right now, trying to get us to
give fifty dollars for the rifle for a golf cart.

Speaker 3 (22:28):
Bitch, right right.

Speaker 5 (22:30):
You got to connect people with what their what their
heart is really desiring to do, you.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
Know, right, I can't garage, right, I would sell it though,
you could win it and sell it possibly.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
What about a winning I just out of fifty dollars.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, yeah, that's how raffles work.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
I did not respond in the group.

Speaker 2 (22:48):
But listen, I said, fill up our FaceTime. Fill up
on a random afternoon and he'll be on a golf course.
He's like, yeah, I'm trying to get this money. I'm
gonna have to call you back. I'm like, on a
golf course.

Speaker 5 (22:57):
I love that. Sometimes you got to go where the
people are and just have a good conversation. It's really
about connecting people to what mission they want to support
and how they want to show up in their community.
You know, your friends are just trying to force you
into something else, like that's not really what you want
to do. Like, you got to really connect to what
people's heart, like if you support kids, are you support
you know, homelessness or like low income families, like whatever

(23:20):
you want to get connected to. That's for My job
is to find the people with the money to connect
them to the cause.

Speaker 4 (23:25):
Right, Well, we got a cause, call we talk back.

Speaker 3 (23:27):
Can you think that's okay? That's a for profit nonprofit.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Non profits? I'm about have made me a five?

Speaker 2 (23:34):
Want to C three?

Speaker 1 (23:35):
I have I want to do?

Speaker 5 (23:36):
Let me.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
I can't say it because I don't want to buy
seal my idea. But you know, like I'm not a
pro life person or pro choice, I'm just anti struggle, right,
So whatever makes sense for you at the time, big
please Okay, So I would like to have like a facility,
a home or something, because in Charleston it used to
be a place like this where girls young girls that
they got pregnant. You know, you're like your child. You
could go still go to school. Like a facility, like

(23:59):
a house, like a home housing. I would like to
do something like that.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yeah, that's beautiful.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
Mommy's house, Mummy's house, that's what you want to call it.
That's cute. Like what you gonna have, Like I got
some little ghost and goo to at least before before
the next four weeks. All right, So we invited Phil
on art.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Because I'm a homosexual. Yes that's yes.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
I always gotta say it like that. But that is
why he's a game y.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
It's literally texted again.

Speaker 5 (24:31):
I mean, okay, who gave right.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
Back?

Speaker 1 (24:39):
Gay?

Speaker 2 (24:43):
So all right, we wanted him on for Pride month,
but Phil is very, very booked and busy. He'd be
all over the country, so it was hard to get
him on during Pride. So I'm glad you made time
for us that we talked back today, and we do
want to talk about being black and gay, and it's sensitive.
It's probably more sensitive for you obviously, but it's sensitive

(25:05):
for me because I'm always afraid of saying something wrong
or asking like how white people want to know about
black people, and they'd be like scared to ask the
question because they don't want to say the wrong thing.
So that's how I feel. Like even when I text
her as like the gays are locked in, she was like,
don't say it like that.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
I just literally sent back the Geese.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
Well, I didn't mean it in an offensive way, you know,
I just meant like, but when I think about, yeah,
I think it like I think about when I speak
to it, I think about, like how if a white
person was talking about the blacks are locked in?

Speaker 5 (25:43):
Right, And it's like, like what I mean. I think
it's out to have a safe space in general where
you can talk openly to your friends about things and
not have to worry about the politics of it, you know,
like sometimes we're so worried about the policy you don't
ask the hard question and then really get an understanding.
So it's like, I'd rather you ask it in the
wrong way to a friend than go out and say
the wrong thing to like a population, especially with you

(26:06):
doing a platform and all that you guys do, I'd
rather be like a source of information versus like.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
A few people try to come for us. It's like
even we don't even be saying nothing crazy for real,
It's like you can't say shit like and I'm gonna
say what the fuck I want, right, and I never disrespect.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
And never trying to offend, you know, there's never to go.
We all, we is a loving space here, but sometimes
we do a fend. I remember one time, this is
all right, y'all, I'm just gonna I'm not gonna say
the actual word because al right, back in the nineties,
in the early two thousands or nineties especially, the F
word was not as like we would say it like

(26:43):
as a joke.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
To each other, to a heterosexual person.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
Yeah, to a head of sexual person. So I didn't Yeah,
So I didn't know that it was an offensive word,
you know. So I was using it toward gay men,
but I didn't know that it was a slur.

Speaker 3 (27:00):
Right.

Speaker 4 (27:01):
So I was in Atlanta.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
And they're gonna get you together.

Speaker 2 (27:07):
So I was like, oh, it's a lot of f's
out here, right, because it was a lot, and it
was at the gas station. It was nothing, but but
I said that. But I didn't think it was I
didn't like very loud, very loud, and I didn't I
didn't mean it. Yeah, but they let me know very

(27:29):
quickly that I was out of line.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
But they can't use it though.

Speaker 5 (27:33):
It's like the N word, right, I mean it still
I think like it's not like widely used even inside
of our community.

Speaker 3 (27:40):
I don't hear a lot of people use it on
the day to day basis.

Speaker 5 (27:43):
I mean you're hear it on like certain shows and
different things, but like on the day to day, like
going through life, I don't really.

Speaker 3 (27:46):
Hear people use it. Like like I hear people said
the N word. You don't hear people said the F
work like that. Interesting.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
I didn't know that. I thought they didn't.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Okay, So how about punk?

Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yeah I used punk on a daily basis. Yeah, yeah,
I'm likely to call somebody apart. I'm like, oh.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Wow, well they called me all right, so this they
was like calling They was like fish, they call me fish?
What did that mean?

Speaker 3 (28:15):
Know? We called girls fishing, so that it's generally a term,
like it's just like a fish is a woman.

Speaker 5 (28:21):
So so they just go hand in hand. I don't
know the whole backstory where it came from But.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
Is that about our vaginas?

Speaker 3 (28:27):
I would assume somaid, But I don't know.

Speaker 5 (28:31):
I just have heard it my whole like gay life,
that called the girl's fish.

Speaker 3 (28:36):
Yeah, the fish the trade, you know, but oh.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
He given fish like that's aiment.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
Yeah, he's given woman.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
Oh okay, yeah, you know what they said. It was
what they said in front of the fish. I wouldn't
I wouldn't offended by fish because I didn't know what
to me. I enjoy fish fried, you know how. But
it's like, we gonna beat your ass fish. That's what
they said, had.

Speaker 3 (29:01):
They beat your glass? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (29:03):
Where were you at Atlanta? And the quick trip?

Speaker 3 (29:05):
At a quick trip? Y'all got to get it right.
It's the quick trip in Atlanta.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
But I learned very quickly that that was a slur,
you know, and then I got myself together and never
said it again.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
I'm telling another woman, girl, it's giving fish to get
your gud damn it sures card out right and go
to the doctor.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
Your bandmance is all okay, yeah, okay. So that's a
good thing if they like you, okay fish, But it's
a bad thing if they as is like your girl.

Speaker 5 (29:40):
Okay, yeah, all right, but if there's any time anything
beat your ass, anything you say after that is bad.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
So said, like I'm gonna beat your glass, beautiful queen.
Still get it's still the quick Trip, right.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
I knew it was time to go.

Speaker 5 (29:55):
Okay, this is why I drive electric, so I don't
have to go to the Quick Trip. But anymore, hey, god.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
No more for me, not even for the ice.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (30:12):
So if your sister.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Could meet me at the Quick Trip? Oh yeah, so
you can get your ice to return it? All right? So, oh,
I said, I apologize for that word.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
We can see that because episode.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
I don't mean it like that.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
Guys, I don't want no problems.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
All right.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
You had a very particular question for Philip, and I
would like to start there.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
Okay. So I had one of my Instagram friends, Guy,
I saw him comment on this. It was like a
like a cookout or like a concert or something.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
It was all.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
In that finance. Dude, he played in the Wizard of
Oars and he's he's a scarecrow.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
Everybody was funny.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
What's his name?

Speaker 3 (30:58):
Oh my god, it's fun who.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
I'm talking about, y'all. He's a gay. He clearly he's gay.

Speaker 4 (31:03):
He could sing, and he played in the Wizard.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
He can see every.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
I got it.

Speaker 4 (31:17):
I'm already asked your question. I'm gonna find his name.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
So, yeah, it was a video with a bunch of
beautiful black men that they were clearly all gay because
there's no women in the video when he was a
guy singing on the mic and whatever singing on the
mic anyway, so I saw, you know, there was a
whole plethora of feels and comments under the post and
a common theme. And I know we kind of talked

(31:40):
about this before we started recording. Y'all said, y'all had
never seen this, but this is actually I saw a
person that I know personally comment and say, you know,
and black women stay hanging with them niggas, you know,
like and then I've also seen like black women single mothers, right,
we are a response. I'm not a single mom and

(32:01):
I won't be a single mom, but single mothers are
are are single handedly responsible for gay black men existing.
And also, you know, just anything bad in our community
is anything anybody perceives bad in our community. And not
to say that being gay is bad, That's not what
I'm saying, but obviously the people who feel.

Speaker 3 (32:23):
This way, have that perception exactly.

Speaker 5 (32:26):
Yeah, I think it's just such a it's such a
misspoken perception because black women have historically held up black
man through so many different things, you know, Like yeah,
as a culture held up, the culture held of the
people help lead so many initiatives.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
It's just.

Speaker 5 (32:40):
You can't focus on the ignorance of other people, right, Like,
if that's how you feel, feel that quietly in your
corner because like no one cares, and you're probably like
not doing too much in your space as is.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
But for the rest of us living in life, those
of us living in the real world, Like, I.

Speaker 5 (32:57):
Come from a powerful black Black woman, and I come
from a household that is a mother and father together.
My parents have been married since eighteen years old. Okay,
So to think that, oh, single moms are black women
make gay kids. My brother is not gay at all,
And like we grew up in the same house, in
the same love and the same light, grew up in
the church. The whole thing had nothing to do with

(33:19):
my sexuality. And many of my friends have married parents
that are black, strong families and the mom doesn't make
the person gay. Like that's just how life works out.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
I know some people that have single moms and they
are straight, and know people that have single moms and
they are gay. How is that a variable? Like what
statistic did you base that off of?

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Right?

Speaker 1 (33:40):
And nobody ever, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
I don't based off right now I'm saying from the
conversation chat. Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
I just don't know. And then you know, nobody ever
says anything about the absent parent, right right, the superstar. Yeah,
the absent parent doesn't get blame for anything. There's no
accountability when it comes and it's still the man, right,
The man doesn't have to take accountability for anything because,
first of all, everybody comes out the bottom of a
man's nuts. First. Okay, so we've got a.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
Problem with a gay man.

Speaker 1 (34:08):
He came out of your ball. Well wait, but about it?

Speaker 2 (34:13):
But all right, so wait, because I thought we were
in our grandmother's before we were ever in our mother's.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
Well, al right, you're talking about so that's a midochondrial
DN is transferred through all of us, through through the female,
through the woman. Right. But just like a man can't
come in the sock and create a baby, right, so
they have to put the baby in us to cultivate it,
and then some of us, some of what we are,
who we are, does imprint on the child too. You

(34:44):
see what I'm saying. But that is like I feel
like maybe we should just leave the kids with the man.

Speaker 5 (34:51):
Yeah, I just think, like God, we should we should
focus less on that and focus more on like kids.
Why is it that somebody has to be blamed for
somebody's to say to be exactly to be gay, or
somebody's lifestyle that listened to be gay, like just because
of who that whoever's in those comments saying those things
like well, what about you and what decisions? This is
your mom's fault that you made a poor decision at

(35:12):
some point if you're looking at it from that negative mindset,
like if you've been to jail's out also your mom's fault.
Like how does that? How does that all make sense?
I just don't get the line that because my mother
did this, now this happens. Like, how about we go
to therapy and you do your work on yourself. I
understand you because you're focused so much on like this
negative light on the black gay man, but like, what

(35:35):
about working on yourself? Then you would have less time
to worry about what the hell I got going on
over here? All right, we prefer that you go to therapy,
work on yourself.

Speaker 3 (35:44):
Mission number one.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
Ain't none of that. But can I be I can
I be completely honest?

Speaker 3 (35:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (35:48):
So when I saw that video and I saw all
those fine ass black men and I knew none of
them wanted to fuck me, I was sad, Like there's
a part of me.

Speaker 4 (35:57):
That did get sad, like.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
That one of them might have been my husband. Though
now none of.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
Them could be your husband, right, your husband is still
out there, like there's still more men than those men
in the video.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Yeah, but can you understand like where I'd be, like
feel like a way like damn.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
Why can't we have fire men as well? Like I
can't have a husband too.

Speaker 1 (36:19):
I mean, yes, I get it, but you get what
I'm saying, Like not jealous in that way, Like I
just feel like two men, Like the money is crazy
in the house, like two successful records people.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
Households is definitely where it's at.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
Yeah, like working in tech, two men working in tech.

Speaker 3 (36:42):
Yeah, say you're doing all right? Yeah, the household is good.

Speaker 5 (36:44):
I had a thousand okay, no kids, maybe just one,
you know, Yeah, livings jealous. I don't know, right, I mean,
but like, statistically there's there's a small portion of like
gay men are gay people in the world.

Speaker 3 (36:58):
We look at like the great ratio versus the gay ratio.
So it's like, yeah, we did.

Speaker 5 (37:03):
We're all together in one space often because that we
have to find a space that can reflect us.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
Otherwise we spend all day in like a heteronormative world.

Speaker 6 (37:11):
So like you think it's still like that even today, Yeah,
I went to work this week, but it was just me, okay, yeah,
you know, like I think that when you look when
you really look at the bigger numbers, like I'm a
statistics that a person that's kind of like from my career.

Speaker 5 (37:31):
So when you look at raw numbers, like there's just
there's millions more heterosexual people than are gay people. So
when you see us, we find each other. That's how
we have pride, that's how we go out and do
these different things.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
People there though, yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Because we all go it's like a concentrated.

Speaker 3 (37:50):
Yeah, it's concentrated.

Speaker 5 (37:51):
So you see it as like, oh, there's all these people,
but it's like it's a it's it's a call to
action because we have to stick together. Because it's a
smaller amount of us, so we are still a very
much a minority.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
The stats on that, because I feel like everybody is
like queer, not everybody, But.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
What's what does that even mean? Because what's gay like?
It's a lot of letters. I don't know all of them.

Speaker 3 (38:12):
So it is.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
So what is the difference? What is the difference between
gay and queer?

Speaker 3 (38:20):
Just the way that people prefer to identify.

Speaker 5 (38:22):
So some people may not want to identify as gay
as being a person who is who is just there.
They may be queer and have some more fluidity. So
it just allows you a little bit more flexibility in
how you decide that you want to identify. I identify
as a gay black man. I used to identify as
a by black man. Shout out to my ex girlfriend,
Nice to see you. But but you know, over time,

(38:43):
you know, you can choose your representation of yourself, you know.
So that's really what all the letters are for, is
that you're finding which space you feel most comfortable, and
queer just usually fits more for like an umbrella.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
So then what does by me? So what's the difference
between by?

Speaker 3 (38:58):
All right?

Speaker 2 (38:58):
So all right, hold on, now, it's just.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
What they want to go by. So some people just
like the word queer. It sounds fun, I guess.

Speaker 4 (39:05):
So it's just just wordplay.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
It's selection.

Speaker 5 (39:08):
Like if you're given in life, you're giving options, right,
Like why do we have to fit ourselves into some
norm to make other people uncomfortable? Just because you don't
understand it doesn't mean that you don't have to just
allow them to let them live in their lives. Like
I don't identify as queer, but if you tell me
that you're queer, okay, great, Like now I respect you.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
Is that if you tell me that you're a woman,
I'm gonna respect you. Is that right?

Speaker 5 (39:27):
So it's it's just simply have a general respect for people.
However they want to identify, show up in the world.
That's their business, okay, Like you know, okay, all right.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
So I'm just I'm I guess I'm old. I'm an
older millennial. So like I just try to like wrap
my mind around what exactly because I know what gay is,
I know what bias, I know what a man is,
I know what a woman is. But when I hear queer,
it sounds like it don't have like a real identity

(40:02):
for me. So I'm trying to like understand it so
I can know what it is, but whenever I ask,
it's still it's still like so vague.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
Yeah, I think it's designed to be more vague in general.

Speaker 5 (40:14):
I think that's the premise of queers, that it allows
a little bit more freedom and flexibility in that space.
Because if I'm like, let's say that I'm I started
out as a straight man, and now I've decided I'm
going to experiment with guys and identify as a gay man,
like as in dating women, It's hard to go back
from that once you say, like on a platform like
oh I'm a gay man, it's a rap for you.

Speaker 3 (40:35):
You're like, you know, it's like you are not getting that.
I don't. It's never happening, you know. So it's like
it gives you a little bit more flexibility to like
to explore it, is what I would feeling.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
So do you feel like women can go back and
forth but men are not allowed to?

Speaker 5 (40:50):
I mean, yeah, I think that's a conversation that people
have had so many times, Like women and we always
talk about women in college and how they were able
to experiment and they go back and they're married and
have three kids, happily ever after.

Speaker 3 (41:01):
Right as a man, it's it's different, you know.

Speaker 5 (41:04):
And if you think about your own life and scenario,
just like, are you going to date the man who
tells you that, hey, I had a phase in college
and I experimented.

Speaker 3 (41:12):
Are you open to that? Are you not open to that? Like?
What would y'all perspective be?

Speaker 2 (41:17):
I wouldn't be open to that, right would?

Speaker 1 (41:20):
I wouldn't be open to that because I think there
is a certain mindset, right that may not align with mine.
I'm not that fucking flexible. Okay, So I just feel like, but.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
He's not that anymore. He just he just tried it, right,
you come back, you come back.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
That's what I'm saying. That's why I don't want to
compete with men and women, and it will always like
we go out and I'm looking at a fine nigga,
I'm looking at my nigga to see if.

Speaker 4 (41:44):
He looking at that nigga too.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
I ain't got tied. That's too much stress.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
And unless I guess, unless you're a queer woman, right,
Because that's the thing is is that black man, you
can get whatever type of woman you want, right, You
could be honest with yourself first, that's what where it starts,
and then you can find whatever type woman that's okay
with however you are presenting right. I had a conversation
with one of my friend's friends.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
He does.

Speaker 1 (42:09):
I don't think he even considers himself gay. He is
attracted to women because he actually asked me if I
wanted to have a baby with him, And I'm like,
what he actually asked before?

Speaker 2 (42:18):
Y'all?

Speaker 5 (42:18):
So I don't know, Like I still want when you
got it okay, and I still want to love it, okay,
pack it.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
Up you later. Similar your friend was not he was
asking you for a baby.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
And he's a big guy too.

Speaker 1 (42:47):
He does here a nice looking man though, and he's
not like he always says like I'm so glad I'm
not like gay gay, like like I'm so glad I'm
not a punk, you know, because it's just different. It's
levels to this ship level. So he's more so attracted
to masculinity. I don't know what he sees in me.
Maybe yes, I don't know. So he says he's attracted

(43:11):
to masculinity, not really necessarily man or woman, like he
and a man or a woman. But we had a
hard down conversation the first day I met him about
why it's not. He was saying, it's not important for
a woman to know if a man has slept with
another man before, and I'm like, yes, the fuck it is.
First of all, if I ask you anything, you should

(43:32):
be honest with me.

Speaker 3 (43:34):
Right.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
If you feel like you gotta lie about that, there's
a problem.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
Yeah, but society makes a culture.

Speaker 5 (43:40):
It's where people feel that they have to lie about
those things because you're not going to find acceptance in
most people.

Speaker 3 (43:46):
So I think that's.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
But I won't sleep.

Speaker 2 (43:49):
Yeah, well that's well, yeah, that's the problem because he
wants you to sleep. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
So now we're back to just men being men and
just not having integrity and lying to get the draw. Like,
just tell the truth and then you'll find somebody who's
okay with that truth.

Speaker 3 (44:04):
Right. I think that's accurate.

Speaker 5 (44:06):
I just think people should be able to have a
little more flexibility and understanding of people, like understand that
people have had a lived experience. But then maybe that
has evolved over time. And now this is where I am,
and you know, meet him there if you can. But
you know, I think, in general, I think that people
have so many cutofs for people as to why not
to deal with them. It's like, that's why everybody's single,

(44:28):
and that's why won al's get married anymore. That's why
all this is going on, because everything is a reason
to get rid of that man. Anything a straight man does,
he's gay. I swear, because they said signed nigga.

Speaker 3 (44:41):
That man with a hot dog, damn n.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
He can't even have a hot This man can't go
to Costco.

Speaker 3 (44:47):
Nigga smoke and hohokahs hookah. Like anything a man does
is automatically gay. That is so weird men doing that.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
Though I don't say everything the man does is gay.
I see men doing that.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
Yeah, I think it's mostly men that, like, you know,
creating my content must be different than y'all because it's women,
women doing saying like, oh that's the gay. Oh yeah,
I guess you're right. There is some of that.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
It might be a mixed right, it might be, yeah,
but it's not. I just I just hate when people
just be trying to act like women are the only
ones doing some shit.

Speaker 5 (45:16):
No, it's definitely not only women. It's a societal it's
a deeper issue.

Speaker 4 (45:22):
Yeah, And honestly, people just are added to that list
as a joke.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
If a woman asks a man, hey, have you been
with a man before? Do you think that's something that
she needs to know or do you feel like it's
none of her business and he doesn't really have to No.

Speaker 5 (45:44):
I think if someone is asking you anything in transparency,
you should be transparent. Like when I came out, I
came out as by and then when I dated girls
at that time, I would like, if they asked me
any kind of question like that, I would own up
to it.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
I would say, yeah, I've actually.

Speaker 5 (45:59):
Like you know, I've done They would have god done
it there or two, and most of the time that
would be the end of the it's like dang vibe.

Speaker 3 (46:05):
So it's nice to be cheap. Yeah, it would wrap
it up, you know.

Speaker 5 (46:08):
But from time to time you'd come on Connor girl,
who will be like, okay, tell me more and have
more conversation. And then that was a better situation, a
better situation for me. But you know, I lives in
Atlanta for a while, and then I feel like girls
would approach and even know like I feel like I
present as more of a gay man now and they would.

Speaker 3 (46:24):
Approach it like, oh, that's called day by guys.

Speaker 5 (46:26):
They would kind of come more forward with the like, oh,
day by guys, I'm trying to I'm trying to holler,
and I'm like, okay, well all right, let's go to dinner.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
I've seen a lot of women, I've seen black women
say that they prefer by sexual women, And I don't
know if it's like an emotional thing, like you know,
gay men are probably tapped into their femininity more more
emotional sensitive, and maybe that maybe those women want a
little bit more femininity but still want a man.

Speaker 5 (46:54):
Yeah, a little more understanding too, like a person who
understands more about where you've been, where your where your
storyline is kind of they've had experience on both sides,
so can tap in a little a little bit different,
but you know, to each own.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
I guess, would you date a man who's bisexual? Yeah,
you wouldn't make a difference.

Speaker 3 (47:11):
You Nope, wouldn't make a difference to me at all.

Speaker 5 (47:12):
I just feel like for me, I'm already on the
further side, Like it's harder for them to be able
to voice the outcome.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
So it's like, yeah, so is there any like boundaries
like like that, what are your boundaries when it comes
to dating or is it just about the individual for you?

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Well, I would say I'm more I don't know.

Speaker 5 (47:36):
I've never been approached by anybody that was trans to
know that if that would be something I would even consider.
I think like the my usual type has been more
of like a like an open man, like I don't
like to date like the d L discreet, Like that's
not really what I'm looking for.

Speaker 3 (47:53):
I like a man who knows that he likes men,
and I'm okay with that.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
Openly likes men. Have you have you ever dealt with
a man who was like because I mean, you don't
want to like, have you? Because you don't want to
force somebody to like out them?

Speaker 3 (48:10):
You know? Yeah, yeah, you don't want to force anybody
out of.

Speaker 1 (48:13):
Their class weaponized being engaged sometimes like some gay guys
might weaponize it.

Speaker 5 (48:19):
Somebody when people do that, Like people gave you the
space to come through, to come find your voice at
some point, like let other people have the space to
do that. And if you're not, if they can't do
that with you, then don't deal with them, Like you're
making a choice to deal with them now you.

Speaker 3 (48:31):
Want to out them. It's like that's that's childish, like
grow up.

Speaker 5 (48:36):
Yeah, so, I mean, but I've never been in a
space where I felt like I had to out a
man or I was going to deal with a man
and then he I my younger age, you know what
I'm saying, Like.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
I've been with some DL guys, Like I'm not avoiding that.

Speaker 5 (48:50):
It's definitely a thing of attraction, like oh, he's super masculine,
like you know, he's a man nobody would ever know,
Like it's a certain attraction that comes to that, like
the hyper masculinity.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
But I'm not pushing that man out of closet. That's
that man's business.

Speaker 4 (49:03):
And that's dangerous to do that to someone honestly, right.

Speaker 5 (49:06):
Yeah, definitely definitely dangerous. I just try not to mess
with it. Like I've always had a standard, like I'm
not messing with married people. If you' married to a
man or a woman, like that's just the line I'm
never willing to to cross. Like I'm not sleeping with
anybody's haysband ever in life.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
What about their wife.

Speaker 3 (49:25):
Or their wife? You know, I've been so long since
I've been with a girl, I was like I forgot
I gotta put them in a mixed.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
All right, hello, I got another question. Well okay, okay,
fan man face, we can take all of this out.
That's a little break, Okay.

Speaker 3 (49:48):
You know I'm hot. Yeah, I don't think I say
anything grazy. Yeah, but you'll send it to me before yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
So in the workspace, do you feel like you have
to like tone down your like gayness.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
I don't know how to identity, I guess.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (50:10):
No, I can honestly say, like, for the spaces that
I've worked in, I've been able to be one hundred
percent authentically myself even when I did time I was
in the military as well, when you did time, when
I did time in the military. Yeah, when I did
six years in the Air Force, I really wasn't a
place where where I was very supported, you know, and

(50:31):
I was able to like be awarded for my work
and recognize and I was openly and outwardly.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
Gay cause the military was like a kind of like
don't ass, don't tail for a long time.

Speaker 5 (50:43):
I came in like right after the don ass don't
tell things. Yes, because we should be able to like
you should be able to be yourself. It's like, if
I'm willing to serve my country. Why does my sexuality
have to.

Speaker 3 (50:54):
Do with that?

Speaker 2 (50:55):
But here's the thing. You can be gay, but you
can't have eyelashes. That's crazy, right, you can't. Like they
just have passed a new law that you can't have
no eyelash. Yeah, you wouldn't be able to get in there,
of course.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
Why yeah, figure, that's.

Speaker 5 (51:14):
A lot of it is more or less about like
the aesthetic and more about like the gear. You know,
like if you're if you deploy or something and you
have these these things on, it's not it's not okay.
Even like when we deploy, I can't have this. I
can have my beard, it has to all be shaved
off because your gas.

Speaker 3 (51:32):
Be scraping.

Speaker 5 (51:33):
It's gonna work, okay, It's like safety, it's safety, you know.
But also like the military for historically has had a
long lineage of like these are standing how you're going
to appear.

Speaker 3 (51:44):
There's a lot of appearance guidelines.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
So it's like, you know, so it's not the same thing. Basically,
it's not in my.

Speaker 5 (51:49):
Book, But I'm sure other people that are in that
space of living that experience today may feel differently.

Speaker 3 (51:55):
But for me, that's how I felt.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
Have you ever felt like you had to choose between
being black and gay.

Speaker 5 (52:01):
No, I'm I'm super black, Like I'm black first, like
in my mind, like I was born black.

Speaker 3 (52:08):
I came before I ever knew what gay was. I
was black.

Speaker 5 (52:10):
So like I'm a black man and nobody can flex
me on that ever, but I just also am a
gay man. Like it's just these are It's a full sentence,
Like why do I have to pick a side for what?

Speaker 3 (52:21):
For who? For society? Y'all can't even figure out y'all
bill schedule? Okay? Correct?

Speaker 1 (52:33):
Why is corn showing so high? I'm on the phone yesterday.
It's like, well, you could do auto pay and it
takes no bitch, I'm not that responsible.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
Oh I let them auto pay everything because I'm not
I'm responsible, not responsible enough to remember. Yeah, so I
just let them take their money.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
Until no, I got it, so two to three days
after the actual dudate to pay you.

Speaker 5 (52:54):
If it was not auto pay, I would be fun
mortgage for Okay, I forgot to right, That's how I am.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
I don't forget to pat it.

Speaker 3 (53:05):
I forget everything, forget.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
No, I'm no morel the one like why the funk?

Speaker 3 (53:13):
I'm so bro, everybody took it.

Speaker 4 (53:17):
Yeah, that's that's yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
I gotta eat these porky bees rice, right, because that's
how I got that left.

Speaker 5 (53:24):
But everybody got their money. We don't have to pick
between being black and gay.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
Some people do, though, like they think that they like
they identified with being gay before they identify with being
a black person. Like when the when all these different
struggles come up, because I mean, like listen, gay people
know how to galvanize and get shipped the funk done.
That is what I have seen over the last.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Ten years, right correct, Gay rights is definitely moving faster
than black Do you feel like, mmm, like y'all know that's.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
You really are black people? Are black gay people even
a part of that movement? Like y'all think y'all might
be a part.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
Of it, part of which movement of gay rights? Yeah, yeah,
I mean I think it's it's it's a tough question.

Speaker 1 (54:13):
Because well, I notice is rapid fire shy every time
like there's this is why I'm asking this because it
seems like every time there's like some litered uh some
what is the word I'm looking for? God damn not
litigation literation. Anytime there is some like things that are

(54:35):
trying to be done for black people in particular, right,
they always have to throw like it's like they throw
like the sub thing in there, and they throw like
a gay element into it. We're all black, know what
I'm saying. It's like it's like a old like a
covert way of doing things sometimes, and I don't think
that it ever benefits the gay the gay gay people

(54:59):
or black people. It's something else they're trying to push,
but they use that as like a front.

Speaker 5 (55:04):
Yeah, I think that we're we can be both, and
I think that you have to stop Yeah good word,
yeah scrabble, right, but we have to stop trying to
put it put ourselves in a box, Like why are
we trying to limit it? You're you are also black,
but you're also a woman, you know what I'm saying, Like,
yeah you are right, Okay, Okay, congratulations, right, all right,

(55:30):
you're unique. Okay, but yeah, you know, so we are
who we are. So it's like, if I'm standing up
for myself, I'm going to stand there for all of me.
Why do I have to just stand up for the
black piece or just stand up for the gay piece.
I'm going to stand up for all of me, And
I'm not going to do that with any apology. And
like you know, people sometimes well just take the take
the gay part out, well you take the other part

(55:51):
of you out. How you can't because you are the
whole person. I can't just be a piece of it, Okay,
right you can't. You can't, right, Like it's me, It's
not on me?

Speaker 2 (56:00):
Then, So what about spaces like barbershops? Do you feel like.

Speaker 3 (56:09):
I go to a Dominican barber having a time in there,
you know his ass.

Speaker 2 (56:17):
But do you feel like like barbershops are like because
I always think of like barbershops save spaces for black
men to almost receive therapy. Do you feel like gay
black men are included in that.

Speaker 5 (56:28):
I can only really talk about this from my perspective,
which I feel like is a bit different because I'm
so open about having conversation with people in the black barbershop.
People have convo with me, they like, bro, let me
ask you about this, Like they're willing to unpack whatever
the dialogue, whether the conversation is, and have those uncomfortable
conversations and say the words that they're not supposed to say.

(56:49):
And no, I'm not going a trip and just like
we can really have conversation. So to me, it's been
a safe space because people are more like, hey, bros,
waiting for you to come in this week. Bruh, this
boy was I was counting he talking about and then
they want to talk to me about that experience. So
I think that it can be a safe space. And
I think a lot of black barbers now that I've
been experiencing, are creatives.

Speaker 3 (57:08):
In a certain way. They be in the studio, they
got other kind of stuff going on. They you know,
have gay barbers.

Speaker 5 (57:14):
So I think people are just more open to conversation
if you're open to not going off every time somebody
says something offensive, but really being open to having a dialogue.

Speaker 3 (57:23):
You know.

Speaker 5 (57:24):
But growing up as a kid and like realizing, like
in my journey of realizing that I was gay, and
being at the barbershop, like, oh, let me just sit
up straight and put some base in my voice, you know,
let me you know, just my daddy barbershop.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
Let me get it together.

Speaker 5 (57:38):
But as you find your own spaces, like I'm a
person where I'm gonna go where I'm celebrated. So if
I go to the barbershop, but you make me feel
weird this the last fifty dollars you gonna get because
I go to the barber shop every week. So if
you add that up and you cool missing out that
much money because I like boys, Right, that's on you
as a businessman.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
Right.

Speaker 5 (57:55):
One thing we know about black gay man is that
we have what we call expendable in Okay.

Speaker 3 (58:01):
So I go every week and get my hair cuts.
So my barbera loves seeing me. His birthday just came up.
I gave him a bottle, like, you know, like we're
best friends.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
God didn't hit me up on Instagram and he uh,
something we might have talked about on the episode he
was speaking to and he said he he does find
that he gets business done better with gay black men
as opposed to sexual black men. Like gay black men
do better business. I don't know what average woman, right,

(58:38):
I mean the average man. No, the average woman is
equivalent to like top tier man.

Speaker 3 (58:43):
That's what we think.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
Average average shit we do on a daily basis. So yeah,
he felt like he just he never got shipped on
by a gay man in business. But when it comes
to them niggas.

Speaker 3 (58:59):
Yes, I don't know. I don't know. That's such a
hard thing.

Speaker 5 (59:02):
Because I feel like I get my business mind from
my dad. My dad is about his business. He's cold,
you know what I'm saying. He's always going to be
on top of his grind. So I just don't I
don't know where it comes from. I think that some
people have it and some people don't.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
But and there's nothing to do with your sexuality.

Speaker 5 (59:16):
I don't think it has to do with sexuality. I
think it has to do with mind state, and like,
you know how you were brought up, you know, I mean,
I guess, but my dad came from it, so he
found a way.

Speaker 2 (59:29):
What would you tell to a young gay or a
young black man who feels gay and doesn't know how
to come out to their family.

Speaker 5 (59:42):
I would tell him, don't rush it, Like what's the
You do it for you, not for the satisfaction of
other people. Like if you really want to come out
as you're ready for that, do that. But if you're not,
don't put pressure. I don't care if everybody around your
town we can see, we can tell that you're being gay, Like,
it does not matter.

Speaker 3 (59:59):
Do what you need to do.

Speaker 5 (01:00:00):
Focus on yourself, build your brain, build your identity, and
then when you're confident, in who the hell you are
and you can stand on that, then stand on that.
But until you feel grounded, don't let anybody for yeah,
because when you come out, it's a situation where it's
it's not an easy thing to reverse. So come out
when you're stable and you're structured and you're in a

(01:00:21):
good place. Build yourself a community of people that you know,
you can trust and.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
You can rely on.

Speaker 5 (01:00:26):
Because when I came out, you know, like it was
just I was confident. I was like, I don't care
what happens from here.

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
This is it.

Speaker 5 (01:00:32):
I'm moving forward. And I She told my my friend Ashley,
and she was my brother's baby mother as well. I
told her first, because like, you gotta help me tell
these straight brothers.

Speaker 4 (01:00:41):
That I got that I are you concerned with how
they were?

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
Oh yeah? I was shaking in my boots. I was like,
oh my gosh, I know they love me, but I'm
just like, right, because what.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
People like, okay with the conversation around like a man
not being able to tell a woman because they're gonna
be judged or whatever. Right, I really be feeling like
men have a tough time coming out because they're more
so concerned about what the friends that know them, you know,
since they ever right they want to say about them.

Speaker 5 (01:01:10):
Yeah, I mean that's a genuine concern because these are
the people that you want love, that have supported you,
that like, these are the people's opinion that you actually
care about, You care less about, like when I came out,
care less about what society thought.

Speaker 3 (01:01:21):
I was more worried about, like what's my brother gonna think?
What's my mom gonna think? You know? That was the highlight.

Speaker 5 (01:01:27):
I mean, ultimately, when I told them, they were just like, oh,
you fucking flame, and they laughed and they right, they
laughed and they hug and it's like, we do not
care like we genuinely love you. And then they came
out with me. When I went out that day and
I was telling everybody else about I told the whole
world I was hanging from around, I was like, I'm
body like, that's my gay brother right there, and I

(01:01:47):
love them, and if anybody got something to say about them,
it's gonna be problems.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Right Well, I mean that's what what everybody would want,
but unfortunately that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
Is that's not always the case. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (01:01:57):
You gotta do it when you're confident because I was
gonna do it at that day, whether or not they
took my side or not. If they came with me
and were willing to support me, I was ready for that.
If they said otherwise they weren't gona support me, I
was ready for that.

Speaker 3 (01:02:09):
I was ready.

Speaker 5 (01:02:10):
So if you're a young black gay man or young
gay man in general, and you are feeling that you're ready,
make sure that you're solid than who you are. First,
don't ever step out on unsolid ground for the sake
of others.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
Did you ever have like any older family members that
were like mm mmm, like that wasn't supportive. Like my grandmother,
let me tell you, God rest her soul. But she
was just like a very old school, very traditional, very
Bible toting, Bible thumping country ass old lady. And she
used to always accuse me of being gay and accused yes,

(01:02:47):
because I would wear hats and stuff like that, and
she like, it's got on that man hat.

Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
She wasn't all born with it at all.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
Like I would walk by all right, So I used
to wear those little It wasn't Kano it was like Kano.

Speaker 4 (01:03:02):
Style, but it was like it was a style and
I would walk by.

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
My family, like just be sitting outside or something and
I'd be like, hey, y'all and I'll walk by, and
then I hear everybody laughing and I look bad. Yeah,
Grandma backg reading me, Dawn. Do it like that? I
told y'all the one right, So do you have like

(01:03:28):
any elders in the family that was just like not
as supportive.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
This is the thing about me, right, I do not care.

Speaker 5 (01:03:37):
So like I came from a space of like, I'm
gonna do this because this is who I am, and
y'all gonna move around like that's just what it was like.
I just didn't have space for that. And my grandma
on my dad's side in particular, she was like very
much for like just be the best, like well, despite
whatever else they talking about, beat the coldest, be the fastest,
make the most money, be the coolest, like just be

(01:03:58):
one hundred whatever you do, be the best at it.
So you know, when it came out to me being gay,
show you the best gay, Well, I'm.

Speaker 3 (01:04:07):
The best man that I could be. In general.

Speaker 5 (01:04:09):
I got my stuff together. I own multiple properties, like
I own my own business. I'm move a confidence like
I'm cold, like it is what it is so when
it came to like even when coming out to my mom,
she doesn't remember this, but she told me right, a
right that bitch.

Speaker 3 (01:04:27):
And a real nigga.

Speaker 5 (01:04:28):
But when I told my mom, she was just like,
if the only thing they can say against you is
that you're gay, they don't have a conversation. So go
out and just succeed or whatever it is it has
going to do. And then that's just what I went
about doing. So like when I joined the Air Force,
I was just very good at what I did, and
like I do do good in my career. So it's
just whatever you're gonna do, be the best. And then

(01:04:49):
it tones that conversation down real goofy, because if you're
trying to talk about me in a negative way, but
like you don't have your stuff together.

Speaker 3 (01:04:55):
I just really don't have a right for you. Like
you shouldn't be worried about me. You really should be
going to get some business about yourself, right, it should
really work on that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
I think I think more men are gaining to mind
than they will actually be gay. I always you saying that,
but I really believe that. I believe that there are
men who have these uh this like a homo eroticism mindset, right,
but they may never actually act on it, And those
are probably the ones who'll be acting the food on
the internet talking crazy because they are so jealous of

(01:05:28):
these men being able to live in their truth. It
pisses them off because they don't have the courage to
do that.

Speaker 5 (01:05:33):
Yeah, that's a it's a that's a two edge of
sore right there, because then that would you would frame
that himson being like a gay man. And then but
at the same time, he's not acting on it. And
we all have our demons that we don't act on,
so that that doesn't make me that right, right, So
it's like, how does he win in that space? If
he goes out and does it and now he's acting
on this this demon or thing that you that you're

(01:05:54):
calling it or whatever you no, like, he's acting on that, right,
he's acting on this mindset. But then you flip it
if he does, if he doesn't act on it and
he comes and marriages, like gets married and has a
family and stuff, then it's like, oh, but secretly he
wants to be how.

Speaker 3 (01:06:07):
Does he win?

Speaker 1 (01:06:09):
You should have been yourself, they want.

Speaker 5 (01:06:10):
But that is myself. Myself is the man who doesn't
want to go down that journey. I want to be
Mary and half kids. I'm being myself, but that's not
acceptable because I have these thoughts and unpacking and I'm
working on not alone.

Speaker 1 (01:06:22):
You'll never know about those thoughts. The thoughts come out
in the way some of the way.

Speaker 2 (01:06:27):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
So you you have women, you got all these children,
and you don't really like women, and you can tell
about how you treat them. So is it is it
that you're battling your your sexuality? You just can't say that.

Speaker 3 (01:06:39):
Could be?

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
Could be?

Speaker 3 (01:06:40):
Could be? It could be so many things, you know,
could be.

Speaker 1 (01:06:45):
He could women like I gotta deal with this stitch.
I really don't want to. I like hanging with my homeboys.

Speaker 3 (01:06:50):
Right. Why think so many things are associated with the fact,
like to connect to being gay. But he just might
be a fucked up person.

Speaker 5 (01:06:59):
You may have nothing to do suality. People are just
like screwing a lot of the times and they're going
through what if it? What if he just disrespectful to women?

Speaker 3 (01:07:07):
What if that just is who he is? What if
his daddy was that? What if he just is unpacking
something like you know, there's so many layers, but we
always jump.

Speaker 5 (01:07:14):
To he gotta have something on the low, added to
the game list, Added to that man, it's just hungry,
he game right. Oh my gosh, I can't believe he
disrespectful to his like what how is he supposed to
show him for you? Like you know, we always jumped

(01:07:35):
straight to okay, he must be doing that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:38):
Let me tell you what I I do that. But
let me tell you if I've ever been rejected by
a man, I'm like, he's gay.

Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
If we walk inself place and we walked past like
two three men and they none of them look at
us like, y'all gay?

Speaker 3 (01:07:51):
Okay? What if? What if he's.

Speaker 1 (01:07:58):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (01:08:00):
Okay, you gotta be gay? Because do you see me?

Speaker 5 (01:08:05):
Especially if you've done up? Then they really like I
got my makeup, all of my ears.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
Yeah, you're like okay, but as a gay man, I look,
I look, so now what am I straight?

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
Now?

Speaker 3 (01:08:16):
Does it?

Speaker 5 (01:08:16):
Why doesn't it work on reverse? Because if you walk
past me with all that ass, I'm gonna check it out.

Speaker 3 (01:08:21):
And now you buy on Tuesdays and Wisday late on Thursdays?

Speaker 2 (01:08:31):
All right, every no, we gotta we gotta take a shot.

Speaker 3 (01:08:34):
Oh yeah, so we have a sponsor.

Speaker 4 (01:08:37):
It's Red Leebray.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
It is a female black owned tequila brand out of Atlanta,
and it's nice and smooth. So I have the Peach margarita.
We are gonna take a shot of this, and here,
pick up your drink. Let's take a shot to Its.

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
Usually supposed to go something like this. This episode and
we talked back is brought to you by jayly Bray.

Speaker 4 (01:08:57):
That's not even how you say it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:05):
Er to living in your truth, to living in your truth.

Speaker 1 (01:09:09):
Yes, we're gonna have nice glasses next time, y'all.

Speaker 3 (01:09:17):
What do you think?

Speaker 5 (01:09:18):
Oh, that's absolutely delicious. I'm definitely gonna need to pick
some of that up. Yeah it's good, right, Yeah, it's
like fruity but still smooth.

Speaker 3 (01:09:24):
I can take the whole shot.

Speaker 2 (01:09:25):
I could do that whole bottle like by myself.

Speaker 3 (01:09:27):
I feel like, okay, we did correct.

Speaker 2 (01:09:31):
Actually, do you have any last questions for Phil before
we wrap it up? This is Phil, This is this
is why I knew you was the perfect person and
you didn't need another gay here?

Speaker 3 (01:09:41):
Okay, I am.

Speaker 2 (01:09:44):
Yes, thank you so much, and listen, I hope if
me are aj or Phil said anything to offend, we
sorry right now, before y'all even send us those messages
and comments.

Speaker 1 (01:09:56):
You're not sorry, No, I'm not ever sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:09:59):
Wh Yeah, I don't ever want to offend anyone.

Speaker 1 (01:10:02):
I'm sorry though, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're not so
when you offend people, you don't be like, I'm not
a how is it offensive? And we sitting here for
conversation to get understanding?

Speaker 5 (01:10:13):
How is anything we can I'm open to having dialogue,
you know, like I think sometimes things people can be offended,
and it's okay, let's have more conversation and by all
means educate us, like, you know, educate me, like if
we said something wrong, let me know where that where
that was a conversation and we can have a dialogue
about it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:32):
Because remember we had on my friend's son and he
said that we said things that offended here.

Speaker 3 (01:10:38):
I didn't hear that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:39):
Well, he told me personally, and I was like, damn,
what did I say? Like always proved right, I'm always
trying so hard not to offend.

Speaker 1 (01:10:48):
I don't want to be on eggs shells like that
because I don't get offended easily.

Speaker 3 (01:10:51):
I don't get offended easily at all.

Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
Yeah, yeah, saying especially if we sitting down having actual dialogue.

Speaker 2 (01:10:56):
You do.

Speaker 3 (01:10:56):
You are definitely a kid.

Speaker 2 (01:10:59):
I just saying about my piky you been.

Speaker 3 (01:11:04):
I am not offended, so by all means.

Speaker 1 (01:11:08):
That's me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
So that's why I always I'm always trying to get
in front of it, you know, because I just don't
want to offend because I know I'll be offended quick.

Speaker 3 (01:11:17):
So no, send a message, tell us if you defend,
if we offended you.

Speaker 5 (01:11:22):
But you know, no, we should be able to have
uncomfortable conversations, and sometimes people may not have a space
where they have someone they feel comfortable to have that
conversation with. So your platform was creating a space so
we could dive into that for those people. If that's
not for you, then I understand that. But this is
for those people who need that space.

Speaker 1 (01:11:40):
No, well I don't, but I just always want to,
like because then now like you're cautious, you can't even
tell your true thoughts about things because you're concerned.

Speaker 2 (01:11:50):
No I said what I like, I said, I apologize,
but no, I apologize. I just apologize because I don't
want to. I care about hurting people, so I just
don't want to hurt, you know, But tell everybody where
they can find you plug all your things. Oh no, no, no,
Before you do that, we gotta have a SIMP series

(01:12:11):
from you. So we have a segment. You have to
share a time that you got played by a person
that I got played. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:12:23):
I didn't know this was coming.

Speaker 5 (01:12:25):
Okay, ooh, I like a time I got played.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
Like, what's an example?

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
Okay, So I'll give you one of mine that I've
shared on the show. I was dating this guy. He
would do nice things for me for a long time. Financially,
he ended up going to jail for a long time
when he came home. I was living in Europe at
the time. I flew home, took him to a nice dinner,
bottom some clothes, like tricked off on him real heavy,

(01:12:58):
and you know we were talking about like what we
could be again. Yeah, And I flew back to Europe
and when I landed, I turned my phone on and
he was like hugged up with a bitch in an outfit.
I bought him saying I'm back with my baby. I
got played.

Speaker 3 (01:13:16):
H Yeah that's tough.

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
Yeah, yeah that happened. So do you have like a
story where like someone for nest, someone did something to
like take advantage or you know, just someone you liked
and it's extra simpy if you went.

Speaker 4 (01:13:31):
Back after that.

Speaker 3 (01:13:33):
Okay, extra simpy. I think I might qualify as an
extra simp. While I was dealing with this.

Speaker 5 (01:13:40):
One guy, and I was in the military at the time,
and at this point we like lived together and everything. So, uh,
he lived in my apartment, so to start things off right,
a department even lived there would be as well. So
when it came down to it, like you know, I
was in school, I was doing a lot of things
all at one time. You know, I was in school,
I was in the military, I had a job selling

(01:14:02):
cars on the side, and I was like building furniture
as well. Like you know, I'm hustling right, grind it
from my little family. You know, I'm trying to you know,
we're gonna make it. And I'm paying to wish it
for him to go to school because he you know,
his GPA was messed up, so nigga, he had to
do what he had to do to get back in school.
So I was the first semester we had to pay for.
So I'm paying for tuish it and it's being cheated.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
Mm hmm. He was doing all the things I'm doing.

Speaker 3 (01:14:24):
All the things I'm putting it. No, he was just
going to school.

Speaker 5 (01:14:28):
It's like we should you to focus. We used to
focus on school and just get this GPA so we
can get some financial a next semester. Because I'm a planner,
I write it all out, you know. So I had
wrote out a plan. It was like, we're gonna get there.
And he definitely was cheating.

Speaker 3 (01:14:41):
How did you find that in our apartment?

Speaker 2 (01:14:43):
Ooh and yo.

Speaker 1 (01:14:44):
Ship, Yeah, you let him stay there some more.

Speaker 3 (01:14:46):
And yeah, he in order to go, so say me
for a period of time and then I left.

Speaker 2 (01:14:54):
You gave the an apartment.

Speaker 3 (01:14:55):
Yeah, I'm gone. So I left him, went and moved
damn to hold it city. Let him have that life.
But we're friends now though. Cool you okay, we got through.

Speaker 2 (01:15:10):
Oh that was real simpy.

Speaker 3 (01:15:12):
Oh yeah, you know.

Speaker 5 (01:15:12):
I'm like a hard for people, like if you can
help somebody out, like if you have the means to
do so, like show up in that way so I
can so like I should just go ahead and just
help them, held them out for a little bit longer,
and you know, so do.

Speaker 2 (01:15:25):
You always are you in?

Speaker 1 (01:15:27):
Are?

Speaker 2 (01:15:27):
So this is the last question because I know we
gotta go, but do you always end up like the
alpha in all your relationships because sometimes you want to
be kept Not anymore.

Speaker 3 (01:15:37):
I think I lived on that side of the corn
when I was like younger.

Speaker 5 (01:15:40):
Now I'm just like, no, Like, if you can't show
up the way that I could show up for you,
or you can't invest in us the way that.

Speaker 3 (01:15:47):
Yeah, it's like there's qualifiers. So it's like, if you.

Speaker 5 (01:15:49):
Don't have it, we're not gonna even get there for
you to take advantage. Okay, Yes, I prefer that you
have your things together very much in order.

Speaker 2 (01:15:58):
I'm into that, all right, So tell everybody where they
can find you plug all your things.

Speaker 3 (01:16:04):
Yeah, so you can find me for the most part.

Speaker 5 (01:16:07):
If you want to look for me, just look for
me on Instagram at Underscore Philip Anthony m and that's it.

Speaker 4 (01:16:13):
What about your nonprofit? Where can they find that as well?

Speaker 5 (01:16:16):
You can find that on my Instagram page as well.
But it's called everybody needs a feel. Everybody there, direct
you to everything.

Speaker 3 (01:16:21):
Else, everybody else, everybody.

Speaker 4 (01:16:26):
Everybody definitely needs a feel, But not my field.

Speaker 2 (01:16:30):
How you all feel?

Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
Okay? Right, I am spoke doctor Field, get with him.

Speaker 1 (01:16:38):
All right, y'all. Have you enjoyed this episode?

Speaker 3 (01:16:51):
Y'all?

Speaker 1 (01:16:51):
Tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio Apple where the
fuck you get your podcasts at Just your co hosts
A J Holiday two point on Instagram, kick.

Speaker 4 (01:16:59):
Its hand, y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:17:00):
It's official Tan Bound on Instagram. I love y'all so much.
Thank y'all for tuning in once again. Remember speak now
and never hold your gay.

Speaker 1 (01:17:15):
We talk Back podcast is the production of iHeartRadio. Visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.