October 21, 2020 • 37 mins
Tia Mowry has been part of our lives since she and her twin Tamera co-starred on the hit ‘90s series, Sister, Sister. Now, Tia is an author, producer, entrepreneur, wife, and mom of 2 adorable kids, Cree and Cairo. This week, Tia opens up to Heidi and Emma about the endometriosis symptoms and diagnosis that changed her pregnancy journey, the health challenges she faced during both pregnancies, and how she and her husband Cory have managed parenting during quarantine.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who baby, my baby, belof I need you, Oh how
I need you? What to expect? As a production of
I Heart Radio, I'm your host Heidi Murkoff, and I'm
a mom on a mission, a mission to help you
know what to expect every step of the way. If
(00:25):
motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood, and I think we all
know where I stand with that, then that must go
double for Tia Maury. Tia has been part of our
lives since she and her identically adorable twin Tamara, co
starred on the hit nineties series Sister Sister. Now, if
you were fan girling back then as a tween yourself,
(00:46):
there's only more to love about Tia now that you're
both all grown up. She's been busy since her Sister
Sister years, starring in shows like The Game Tia and Tamara,
and most recently the Netflix comedy Family Reunion. Oh and
for your binge watching pleasure, you can now stream all
six seasons of Sister Sister on Netflix. And as if
(01:08):
that weren't enough, Tia is also an author, a producer,
an entrepreneur, a wife, and a mother of two ridiculously
cute kids, Cree and Cairo. A mom multitasker after my
own heart. If you already feel like you know her,
that's because Tia is authentic and open in everything she does.
(01:30):
We're going to get to know. We're just a little
bit better today because she's here to get real about
her pregnancies, motherhood, and her own journey to better health. Tia,
thank you so much for hanging out with Emma and
me today. Emma definitely spent a lot of time hanging
out with you when she was growing up. I feel
(01:51):
like we went through puberty together. I wasn't allowed to
watch TV like I got like thirty minutes a week,
and that was my choice. Thank you, you know, sister, sister,
and you know it's it's playing right now on Netflix,
and the nostalgia is just on a high right now.
So I'm just so grateful that we are able to
(02:12):
put smiles on people's faces now, you know, through this pandemic,
and the timing is just just perfect. But that's so
awesome that you were a fan of the show, speaking
of putting smiles on our faces that we all need. So,
how have you guys been staying healthy and sane during
this COVID thing. The first thing I'll say, is how
we've been staying sane is taking everything a day at
(02:37):
a time. Um, you know, if I'm honest with you,
when the pandemic first hit, I was like, always on
the go. I'm a social butterfly. I even have a
butterfly tattoo. So to just kind of like put the
brakes on rather quickly it was pretty hard for me.
And then, you know, just kind of having the kids
do social distance learning, it was just a lot of
(03:00):
new things were coming at me so quickly. It was
like being thrown in a pool but not knowing how
to swim. You had to really learn how to adjust swiftly.
So with that said, I feel like now I trust me.
I have my moments. I mean just the other day,
I like started bursting out in tears because one of
(03:22):
my friends had invited me to go out to dinner
with her. But you know, we have we don't we
haven't been quarantined together, so I hadn't seen her. I
wanted to see her, but I had to make that choice.
But I've got better. It's frustrating and that you've had
some challenges to Oh my gosh, you know, at first,
I was like, oh, I got this it's gonna be
(03:43):
fine whatever. And now I'm like, there's not a day
that goes by that I don't cry, Like in a
corner and a neetle position. It's nice to know that
there's someone that feels like you, you know what I mean.
Like I said, some days I feel like I have this,
and then some days I just don't. But in regards
to creating a edual, you know, for the kids and
just for us as a family, has really brought some
(04:06):
sort of peace, I think peace of mind. Every morning
at seven o'clock, I get the kids ready, I get
my son, I tell him to put on I pick
out some nice clothes, like as if he's going somewhere.
I tell him the brush his teeth, wash his face,
do his hair. Because just mentally, it just makes you
(04:26):
feel better. I mean for me at least know it's
so true. Emma, see you can you come and like
teach me your ways? It is it's I mean, it's
it's it's hard to create a schedule when you don't
have anything to motivate you for that schedule, you know
what I mean. So I had to pretend. Now it's
(04:49):
like act, you have to act. Yes, I had to
we're going somewhere today, but we're not coming so here today.
But what I liked about it was it forced us
to do something different. It forced us to kind of
put the responsibility on yourself to make the kids happy,
as opposed to I mean going to Disneyland or going
(05:11):
we were we were planning on going to not spray
farm for Greece Birthday, but of course you know we can't.
But it made everything more intimate. It made me put
my like creativity cap on, which was a lot of fun. Yeah.
I think we have to wear a lot of creativity
caps right now in so many different ways. But I
think that's a silver lining, right that we all have
(05:33):
some extra family time, sometimes maybe too much, but it
is family time that we otherwise wouldn't have had, So
that is awesome. So you were diagnosed with endometriosis in
two thousand and six, right, and what were the symptoms
that you had and was it hard getting that diagnosis? Oh? Well, okay,
(05:55):
so I guess I'll start with was it hard getting
that diagnosis? Um, it was very hard. For years I
had suffered. I was going to my regular doctor, which
was a family practitioner, and I would constantly tell her
about my symptoms. I was like telling her It almost
(06:17):
felt like I was telling her about my symptoms like
every time I would be on my period. But the
weirdest thing was it was like she wasn't taking my
symptoms very seriously. Um it was kind of like, well,
just take a bath, take a warm bath. Or when
I would tell her that didn't work last month, it
(06:37):
was we'll get on the treadmill. Well, okay, but that
didn't work in July. Then August will come around, put
an eating pad on it. Well that didn't work either.
So it was kind of like I was being passed,
you know off, and that was very frustrating. And my
symptoms were I was having excruciating pain when it came
(07:00):
to my cramps, meaning I couldn't function because my cramps
were so painful. I would be balled up in a ball.
I would have heavy, heavy, heavy periods, meaning I would
go through you know, my feminine means so fast because
I was just so heavy. And then also this is
(07:22):
very weird, but I'm very honest, you know when I
when I speak about this, because I just want to
be transparent just in case if someone else is dealing
with this, there were lots of clots. There was a
lot of clotting, which was very odd to me because
you know, whenever I would ask someone else, do you
get this? Do you get that? They're like, no, I
don't have clots like that, and I'm like, well, that's
weird because I do, so I would have to say
(07:44):
those were my symptoms. I think the biggest key here
that I want to share with people is your symptoms
take over. You're unable to function. And that's when I
knew that something was wrong. Was when the pain had
gotten so bad and actually share this in my book
Who Knew You. The symptoms got so bad that I
(08:06):
had to call an ambulance or I wanted to call
an ambulance because I was like, I need something to
stop me from feeling this pain because it was just terrible.
And that's when I knew. I was like, this isn't
normal and I need to really try to fix this
or figure out what is going on. So just even
(08:26):
having someone listened to you was part of the problem.
And this is something I hear all the time. The
CDC even has a campaign right now called Hear Her
for this very reason. Because women are not listened to
so often No, No, What did you do after you
were finally diagnosed? Before I got I think it's also
(08:47):
important to talk about even like how I got diagnosed.
I didn't give up, meaning I didn't take no for
an answer. I was my own advocate and I continue
you to fight. So I ended up finding an incredible
doctor who diagnosed me just by just hearing my symptoms
(09:10):
and listening to me. She was like, you know what,
you are the perfect candidate for indometriosis. And I remember
sitting in her office going huh that, Like what is that?
She was like, your African American, you're in your mid twenties.
But in order for me to properly diagnose you, we
have to have surgery. And that was like sure. I
(09:32):
was like what, I had never gone under anesthesia. I
was just like, oh my gosh, I'm so scared. Did
to that? But anyway, so basically what I did after
my diagnosis, the first thing was I got the surgery.
She properly diagnosed me, and then after having that first surgery,
my symptoms kind of went away a little bit, but
then they came back, so I had to have another surgery.
(09:54):
And so she said, look tia, if you don't want
to have another surgery read and if you want to
have children one day, because endometriosis is a you know,
a highly inflammatory condition that can cause in fertility. She said,
you're going to have to change your diet and your lifestyle.
That was the first thing that I started to really
capitalize on and focus on after I was diagnosed. I
(10:18):
started to change my lifestyle. I changed my diet. I
changed I started to focus on my stress levels, what
was causing me stress, focused on things that would you know,
make me not so stressed, like yoga, meditation, and then
just you know, started taking supplements, taking care of my
body and finding that for a doctor to recommend lifestyle
(10:42):
and dietary changes, by the way, so that is such
a plus. And and to be honest with you, I
was I was like taking aback because I was like, wait, what,
You're not gonna like just give me a pill or
say that this is gonna go away with just one pill.
It was the first time I had heard a doctor
even talk about food and how food can suppress or
(11:05):
exacerbate some sort of underlying condition that you have. And
so she had told me to stay away from dairy
because dairy causes inflammation in the body. And I was like,
what what you know? When I was young and I'm
still young. But I think that's also the message here,
is that you don't want to wait until something bad
happens or something scary happens in order for you to
(11:29):
start doing precautions, you know what I mean, just taking
care of yourself. I wish everybody, every woman had a
doctor like that. I have to say, now, you talked
(11:52):
about both of your pregnancies being challenging. Yeah, I would
say most pregnancies are challenging, But how were they different?
What did you go through? So what was so interesting
about my challenges was I was gladly bringing them on
because I was pregnant, you know what I mean. I
was just happy to just be pregnant. So I was like, Okay, yeah,
(12:15):
I'm I'm extremely nauseous right now, bring it on, you
know what I mean. Yeah, that's a great sign you're pregnant,
you know. So, But after two months went by, and
then after three months went by, and after four months
went by, and after five months went by, I'm like,
why am I still nauseous? Like this isn't fun anymore.
(12:37):
That was the first pregnancy, that was what was the
most difficult. Were you diagnosed with hyperremesis? No, you know
what I I was never given that diagnosis, but I
was told within like my next check up, if I
was still, you know, experiencing this, that I was going
(12:58):
to have to get one of those things that was
attached to you that would just release Zoe friend just
in your body. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no no no, I don't want to do that. So
I started eating bread just every single day. And the bread,
for some reason no longer made me feel nauseous. I
(13:18):
ate it so much that I gained so much weight,
of course, but then also I had a terrible allergy
to it after my pregnancy. Isn't that crazy? Just don't
take the coffee, I know, right, I was like, this
is terrible. But you know it was so crazy because
it was like as soon as my son was out
(13:38):
of me, you know, after we had the cesarean, but
you know, anesthesia will make you hurl um. But after
all of that, it was like the nausea it went away,
and I was like, oh, this is what it feels like.
Oh my gosh. For my second pregnancy, it was actually worse.
My second fact. Yeah, I was like, I am not
that woman where or it's just very sugar gum drops
(14:04):
and you know when you're pregnant. I was unicorns. No,
that wasn't me. I had gestational diabetes. I had a DIMA.
I had carpal tunnel that had high blood pressure carpal tunnel.
I was like, is this a joke? Like every single
time I would see my doctor, she'd be like, uh tea, yeah,
(14:28):
well now you have this, and I'm like are you serious?
Like are you joking? But again, I just took it
with all of it, like with stride and with pride
because I was just grateful to be carrying my children
because I didn't think that I could ever get pregnant.
So I was just always in a space of gratitude,
(14:50):
even when I was sticking myself in the thigh with
the insulin. You know, it was like a miracle. So yes,
all children, All children are miracles. In my opinion, it's
just to be able to have a child just grow
in you and just started this tiny, tiny little thing
and just become this beautiful human being. That's a miracle
(15:15):
no matter how it happened. But just the process of
just them being able to come to you know, earth
side is just it's a miracle. So I'm with you.
And so the c section you had to c sections? Yes, well,
first of all, how is your recovery? The first one
(15:37):
was better and then the second one. The second one,
I guess because there's more scar tissue. I don't know
if it was older. I was like, I don't remember this,
this is like this is I was like, this is crazy. Yeah,
that that happens, all of those memories that you want
to forget and then all of a sudden, But I
will say this, if you do what you're supposed to do,
(16:00):
rest and not do too much. That's the hardest thing
about having a ces arean. How can you rest when
you have a baby and you're taking care of that
baby and your breastfeeding and you're just like, how, I gosh,
this is insane. But can you take your meds and
do what you're supposed to do. Eventually you'll get over
that hump. And I think like the first I would
say like maybe the first five, six, six days are
(16:21):
pretty rough, but after that you're It's amazing how the
body just starts to heal and plus moms are so amazing.
We we rock, we do. And you actually wrote a
book about pregnancy I did, which is Oh Baby, Pregnancy
Tales and Advice from one Hot Mama to another. Yeah,
(16:42):
And that was after Cree was born. That was after Cree. Yeah,
motherhood was the mother of invention for you to kind
of like me, because I I delivered the proposal for
what to expect when You're expecting two hours before I
went into labor with Emma. So it kind of inspired you,
it did. And I think what inspired me to that
book was again, I was going through so much that
(17:05):
I was like, I'm sure there are many women that
feel the same way, and I just want to just
make light of all of it, make it funny, and
make it fun because what I think people aren't really
honest about is pregnancy is scary, you know, especially if
you've had IVF or if you've had complications, or even
(17:26):
if you've had a miscarriage. Going through the whole process,
it's scary and it's nerve reckoning. And then what I
was telling my friend the other day was you're also alone,
Like when are you ever around a woman in the
same household? Even that is pregnant with you, it's just you.
(17:47):
So I just wanted to just make light of it,
make women laugh, you know, talk about the bloody noses,
talk about the peeing on yourself when you Oh my god,
every I had bloody noses every day. I still p myself. Yeah,
when I first had a bloody nose, oh my gosh,
like what is happening? Like this is crazy? You know again,
(18:07):
I didn't hear women say, yeah, you know, when I
was pregnant, I had bloody noses. So like again, I
just wanted people to know that it's normal to have
bloody noses, you know what I mean, Like when you're pregnant,
it's fine, and and be stuffy and snore even and
have that like gaggy feeling all night from the drip
drip drip, the post nasal drip. Yeah, it's it's all
(18:31):
the constipation that was mine that too. Or I had
mentioned chess acne and back acne, so that's why I'm like,
why didn't nobody tell me about this? So those are
the things that I wasn't afraid to talk about but
make light of and fun because it's normal. I don't
want women to freak out. You know we're not gonna laugh,
(18:52):
We're gonna cry, so I'd rather laugh. Yeah, exactly. If
you don't have a sense of humor as a parent
or as a pregnant mom, you are so screw so
switching gears to parenting. So, Emma, there's five years. Yeah, boys,
Lennox is seven and Sebby just turned to our ages
are almost the same. But did Yeah, Sebby was born
(19:15):
in Your youngest was born in May and we're June. Oh,
that's so cool. My son it was June. So he's
nine and Cairo is May five and she's two and
a half. So was it hard for because they're so
far apart. Was it hard for freda kind of adjust
to having a new baby in the house or was
(19:37):
he super excited? It was very hard? Uh huh, it was.
I don't know. Was it for you too. I was
a single mom for a while, so he was like
super attached to me. I kind of like overcompensated for everything,
but like presents and gifts and all my attention. So
I think like it was a little rough on him
because all of a sudden he had a new father
figure in the house and the new baby. But it
(19:59):
was rough, but you know, you get through it, Yeah,
you do, you know. With with Cree, it's interesting that
you say, because I knew that it was time to
have a baby. When I started to have a shrine
of my son in the house, it was is this healthy?
Like this is just wrong. This just looks wrong. And
(20:25):
so when kiro, let me tell you what he did,
which was so interesting. Cree he never was the child
that would draw on the wall, you know, or anything
like that. So he had gone into her room, and
this was before she was born, almost up to you know,
it was she was close close, and he drew on
(20:47):
her furniture. He's very good at art, and he has
this signature thing that he does with like these little
swirl things, and he did that on her dresser. And
I said, oh my gosh, I feel so bad as
a parent. Because Cairo's room was Craze room. So we
had moved Craze room to the bigger room. And I
(21:09):
tried to tell him, you're getting the bigger room. You're
the big brother, Like, look, you have a shower, like
you have all of this stuff. This is so cool.
He drew on her furniture. It was like he was
marking his territory. He was like, it was, yeah, that's
so funny. That's so you know, right, so much wisdom
(21:30):
there and a little guy. Yeah, but he's better now.
Like they have the best relationship, right and it changes.
It's so beautiful. He is the big brother, watches over her,
make sure she's okay. It's so funny seeing him try
to pick her up, you know, when she's crying. That's
what it looked like in a way, like that larger
(21:51):
age gap is so beneficial because you really get the help.
I mean, I wish Lenox would change diapers. Oh my gosh,
you guys, I have to tell a story about a
diaper really quick. I hope I'm not digressing too much.
So but it's interesting that you say that. You talk
about helping because I agree with you. Cree helps with everything.
Because people always ask me about that gap, and I'm like,
it's been great. I mean, the only thing is is
they just have when their activities they're just so different
(22:14):
that your day is just you know, you're just like
all over the place, as opposed to having both kids
go to one one place. But Cree will not touch
a poopy diaper. Cairo, she had pooped, and her poop
was so heavy that her diaper fell, and my son
jetted out of the room so fast that if I
(22:35):
was in his way, he would have knocked me down.
I feel you. I'm like him. I can't stand the poop. No,
Creed cannot stand it. He's out of the room like gone,
like lightning. I love it. Well, you know, I think
we all have divisions like in our households, like you
(22:56):
do puke, I do poop, you do flawed. I don't
know if you have those. My husband two years ago
create had the stomach flu and lord god, you know
how that spread so fast around the house. But I
can't do throw up. Corey like literally caught it in
his hand, like the throw up in his hand and
it's just like oozing out of his hand. And I'm like,
(23:22):
for sure, we all have our limits. So your sister Tamara,
he has little kids too. Now do you wish you
would had twins? No? Oh no, I don't know how.
My mother did. And she worked, you know, her and
my dad worked, And I'm like, how how did you
(23:44):
do this with like having to crying babies at the
same time? How are you like putting the babies down
like for naps and you know, getting us to go
to sleep at nine and get putting us on schedules,
and I guess being a mom, you're put into survival mode,
so maybe that's what it was with I just think
it's a lot, like I don't know if I could
could handle that. But the positive is having a twin
(24:07):
is amazing because you have that built in bond and
you're going through life and life's obstacles together. Yeah, and
my husband Eric and my's dad is an identical twin two.
Oh wow. Cool. But the weird thing is I think
when they were younger they did all kinds of crazy
twin stuff where you like could cue the Twilight Zone music, like,
(24:27):
oh my god, they didn't do that at the same
time two thousand miles apart, but they did. But he
doesn't have quite the same bond with his brother that
he did when he was growing up. But it sounds
like you do, and that's amazing. Well, yeah, I mean
to be honest with you, now that we do have
kids and then she lives away, we were closer, you know,
when we were younger, um, but we definitely try to
(24:49):
keep that bond we actually had, especially during quarantine. We
have something called sibling love and we I know it's corny,
we call it. We call each other every two weeks
on face time and you know, but all the siblings
and we just chat and just you know, check in,
just to see how everybody's doing. I'm gonna make my
brother do that. What about you and Corey? So you've
(25:12):
been married for twelve years twelve, but we've been together
for almost twenty one. Whoa, how do you that fresh? Yeah?
I'm trying to keep a fresh I know, you know,
I think continue to date each other, like you know,
(25:33):
we're actually going to go on a date tomorrow and
we dress up, you know, like you have to stay
in that dating phase where you dress up for each other,
you know, put on some perfume, spend that quality time.
Especially when you have kids, and when you have two
kids or just a kid in general, your priority shifts.
(25:58):
You know. It's kind of like you just naturally gravitate
towards your kids and making sure that your kids are okay,
and then you're like, am I okay? And then but
you have to really focus on your marriage because if
you don't, it'll be neglected, and then that's not good
if that's not what you want, you know what I mean, Well,
it's not even good for your kids. No, you're right,
(26:20):
because they learned about relationships from their parents. So in fact,
if you model the kind of relationship you one day
want them to have. But I think it's easy to
put on the back burner because you can't put kids
on the back burner because they're gonna have meltdowns, right,
exactly exactly, But it's easy to put your relationship with
your partner on the back burner. And I feel it's
so important, incredibly important. I mean, we had sex dates,
(26:43):
Like we had to have sex once a week. That
was like a rule in our house because otherwise we
wouldn't get around to it. Heidi, this is the first
time where I'm admitting it. We do too, what we
do too? Yeah, once a week we have We always
said we should do it more often, but once a week.
And you know, when I was younger and I when
(27:05):
I would hear that, I would be like, why do
you have to do that? Like you know what I mean? No,
but you, like you said, it's like you do, especially
with kids and with work and all that, Like you
have to to make sure that it's not neglected in
any kind of way. So maybe a girl totally m
(27:37):
what's the best advice you ever got when you were
pregnant and as a new parent, that's advice that I
that I had gotten that and I didn't listen. I
wish I did when I was pregnant. Was rest when
the baby sleeps, you know what I mean, like sleep
when the baby. Yeah, like, but it's so important that
you do that. That is the best advice that you
(27:57):
can get. Or it's cliche, but but I will tell
you that the one advice that I had gotten that
was very beneficial to me was prior to getting pregnant.
This woman had told me, Tia, make sure you do
everything that you want to do, like even when it
comes to having fun. So I remember I had you know,
(28:17):
I was such a good girl, you know with sister
and sister like I rarely got drunk and I was like,
let me see what it feels like. Just get so
I also just like, you know, but just like have fun,
do travel, do whatever it is that you want to do,
you know, and that you can do before you have
(28:38):
a child, because like you said, certain things, it's going
to be very easy for you to put on the
back burner until things get settled again. The best advice
that I had gotten for being a mom, and I've
actually have a whole like business model off of this advice.
I was just asking this woman. I was like, how
do you do it? Like? How how are you press
(29:00):
and with being a mom and with you know, being
a showrunner and just being able to just juggle all
of these things and you still have a smile on
your face. And she said, how can the goose lay
the egg if the goose does not take care of herself?
Oh yeah, so right, So how can you be the
(29:20):
best mom if you don't give yourself time, if you
do not nurture yourself, if you do not give yourself
self care, if you do not take that time to
take a nap, if you do not take that time
to meditate, if you do not take that time, you know,
just to yourself, how can you be present and full
(29:41):
to do other things that you love to do? And
so that was the best advice. You also, in your
spare time, have a line of supplements. Yes, oh my god,
I know, but I do. I have a supplement line.
And we talked about endometriosis and and my journey, and
(30:03):
that's what inspired me to come out with this line.
You know, I had gone on this personal wellness journey
for myself and I had mentioned how taking supplements was
a part of you know, me reaching my full wellness potential.
And I just wanted to encourage other women and people
to do the same, to take charge of their health.
(30:23):
And you don't have to wait till something bad happens
or until we get older to start, you know, really
focusing on our health. Why not start doing what we
need to do right now. But what inspired me the
most about my my supplement line was, you know, when
I was on this wellness journey, I didn't see women
of color being represented. I didn't see representation. I didn't
(30:47):
see you know, diversity when it came to speaking to
that audience. So my goal with with answer is to communicate,
you know, of course to everyone, but also to communicate
to the audience that didn't feel included when it came
to wellness. And our supplement line answer, it's tangible, it's affordable,
(31:12):
um and we have an incredible prenatal with you know,
my personal experience. I wanted to make sure that it
had properties or ingredients in there that helped with nausea.
So we have Pepperman's, we have ginger, and of course
it's no gluten reservative free. It's not vegan because we
have the fish oil, which you you need. But the
rest of the line from even the gummy line that
(31:34):
we have is all vegan, the men's the women's line,
the beauty formula. We have digestive comfort, we have healthy
Mood that helps with your mood. We have just incredible
things just to you know, help you feel good on
a day to day basis. But we're so proud of it.
And it's purposeful, you know what I mean. It's about
helping people get on the right path. So and I
(31:57):
feel like, especially for women of color, when they become pregnant,
often are at higher risk for things like justinational diabetes
and pre acclampsia. To get healthy before you even become pregnant.
And that's why I always say, take a prenatal don't
wait until you get the you know, the pea stick,
right until you see the plus line. You get yourself
(32:18):
a prenatal vitamin. I say, take one all the time,
like in your reproductive years. So I think that's great.
I think that's great. So now I hear that you
have a question for me. Okay, So basically my question
for you is just how do you go about this situation? Okay?
So my daughter, she's very very close to her dad,
(32:41):
like she's a daddy's girl. Like, no matter how I
can be, I can be around Cairo for twenty four hours,
but she's still a daddy's girl. It just seems like
it's just something that happens. And so she's having a
hard time, like eating in her high chair in the morning,
and she always wants her daddy to sitch with her.
She goes Daddy sit, Daddy sit, Daddy sit, So she
(33:03):
wants to be on daddy's lap. And she's very capable
of sitting in her own high chair and eating herself. Okay,
she's done this. She'll do it for me, She'll do
it for everybody else but her daddy. Now this is
where it gets a little muddy. Is my husband. He
gives in to her, you know, but then he like
(33:24):
gets frustrated sometimes if he has to do things, because
you know, he can always be there to have Cairo
sit on daddy's lap. But I'm kind of in a
bind because he doesn't want to hear her cry or
doesn't want to see her cry, and then he just
gives in. So I don't know you. So first of all,
(33:46):
I can relate because I'm not going to name any
means here, but I had a daughter. I have a daughter.
When she wanted something, she would just call him Gaga
because that was her baby name for him, and so
like she'd be said and tena rows old, and when
she wanted something, she just like sidle up to him
and say Gaga, and then he was putty in her hands.
(34:06):
I totally feel you, And you know, in the end,
it doesn't really matter. What matters is that the two
of you are on the same parenting page and that
you're a united front, because clearly in your family, she
wants something, she goes to daddy. I mean, I always say,
it's kind of like traffic rules. If all the traffic
rules were changing all the time, and you knew that
(34:28):
on Monday the red light men stop, and then on
Tuesday and then go or it meant whatever you wanted
to me and on that day, then there would be chaos,
right because the rules were always changing. You know, there
are so few absolutes and parenting. You know, like you
gotta love your child, you gotta keep your child healthy
and safe. But if I were going to add one more,
(34:49):
be consistency. You have to be consistent and you have
to be consistent between the parents. Yes, that makes so
much sense, and I'm telling you there's definitely no consistency
when it comes to that. But also thank you so
much for that, because now I'm just going to talk
(35:13):
to Cory and just, you know, see what is it
that we both agree to exactly. I think sometimes parents
feel like there has to be a certain number of
times a day they say no, just you know, to
maintain their authority. But it's not like you have to
say no all the time or that you have to
have a certain number of rules. You just have to
have what is non negotiable yes in our home, and
(35:36):
that whether it's jumping on the bed or whether it's
eating in the high chair, that's reasonable. As guys, It's
always the same no matter who's in charge, got it? Oh?
I like that. Okay, I'm gonna check in with you
Heidi in like two weeks until you have literally literally
describing my house no boundaries. I'm like, I'm learning to
to I'm learning to Okay, No, it's hard. It's hard,
(36:00):
especially with a taller, manipulated little creature. So Tea, I
want to thank you so much. Thank you for hanging
out today, no problem. I love supporting women. I love
speaking about family and babies and all that stuff. So
this was something that I was truly looking forward to.
So thank you so much for all that you're doing.
(36:22):
Oh so I appreciate it. It takes a village, right,
we're allus together, yet we are. Thank you. Thank baby below,
my baby belove. I need you, oh how I need you.
(36:44):
Thanks for listening. Remember I'm always here for you. What
to Expect is always here for you. We're all in
this together. For more on what you heard on today's episodes,
visit what to Expect dot com slash podcast. You can
also check out what Tooks Back, when You're Expecting, What
to Expect the First Year, and the What to Expect app.
(37:05):
And we want to hear from you. Connect with us
on our community message board or on our social media.
You can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at
Emma bing wt E and of course at What to Expect.
Baby Love is performed by Riley Peterer. What to Expect
(37:25):
is a production of I Heart Radio from More shows
from I heart Radio check out the I heart Radio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
In my Arms, what don't You Stay? Neja, Needa, Baby, Baby,
Who baby, my baby, belof I need you, Oh how
I need you? What to expect? As a production of
I Heart Radio, I'm your host Heidi Murkoff, and I'm
a mom on a mission, a mission to help you
know what to expect every step of the way. If
(00:25):
motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood, and I think we all
know where I stand with that, then that must go
double for Tia Maury. Tia has been part of our
lives since she and her identically adorable twin Tamara, co
starred on the hit nineties series Sister Sister. Now, if
you were fan girling back then as a tween yourself,
(00:46):
there's only more to love about Tia now that you're
both all grown up. She's been busy since her Sister
Sister years, starring in shows like The Game Tia and Tamara,
and most recently the Netflix comedy Family Reunion. Oh and
for your binge watching pleasure, you can now stream all
six seasons of Sister Sister on Netflix. And as if
(01:08):
that weren't enough, Tia is also an author, a producer,
an entrepreneur, a wife, and a mother of two ridiculously
cute kids, Cree and Cairo. A mom multitasker after my
own heart. If you already feel like you know her,
that's because Tia is authentic and open in everything she does.
(01:30):
We're going to get to know. We're just a little
bit better today because she's here to get real about
her pregnancies, motherhood, and her own journey to better health. Tia,
thank you so much for hanging out with Emma and
me today. Emma definitely spent a lot of time hanging
out with you when she was growing up. I feel
(01:51):
like we went through puberty together. I wasn't allowed to
watch TV like I got like thirty minutes a week,
and that was my choice. Thank you, you know, sister, sister,
and you know it's it's playing right now on Netflix,
and the nostalgia is just on a high right now.
So I'm just so grateful that we are able to
(02:12):
put smiles on people's faces now, you know, through this pandemic,
and the timing is just just perfect. But that's so
awesome that you were a fan of the show, speaking
of putting smiles on our faces that we all need. So,
how have you guys been staying healthy and sane during
this COVID thing. The first thing I'll say, is how
we've been staying sane is taking everything a day at
(02:37):
a time. Um, you know, if I'm honest with you,
when the pandemic first hit, I was like, always on
the go. I'm a social butterfly. I even have a
butterfly tattoo. So to just kind of like put the
brakes on rather quickly it was pretty hard for me.
And then, you know, just kind of having the kids
do social distance learning, it was just a lot of
(03:00):
new things were coming at me so quickly. It was
like being thrown in a pool but not knowing how
to swim. You had to really learn how to adjust swiftly.
So with that said, I feel like now I trust me.
I have my moments. I mean just the other day,
I like started bursting out in tears because one of
(03:22):
my friends had invited me to go out to dinner
with her. But you know, we have we don't we
haven't been quarantined together, so I hadn't seen her. I
wanted to see her, but I had to make that choice.
But I've got better. It's frustrating and that you've had
some challenges to Oh my gosh, you know, at first,
I was like, oh, I got this it's gonna be
(03:43):
fine whatever. And now I'm like, there's not a day
that goes by that I don't cry, Like in a
corner and a neetle position. It's nice to know that
there's someone that feels like you, you know what I mean.
Like I said, some days I feel like I have this,
and then some days I just don't. But in regards
to creating a edual, you know, for the kids and
just for us as a family, has really brought some
(04:06):
sort of peace, I think peace of mind. Every morning
at seven o'clock, I get the kids ready, I get
my son, I tell him to put on I pick
out some nice clothes, like as if he's going somewhere.
I tell him the brush his teeth, wash his face,
do his hair. Because just mentally, it just makes you
(04:26):
feel better. I mean for me at least know it's
so true. Emma, see you can you come and like
teach me your ways? It is it's I mean, it's
it's it's hard to create a schedule when you don't
have anything to motivate you for that schedule, you know
what I mean. So I had to pretend. Now it's
(04:49):
like act, you have to act. Yes, I had to
we're going somewhere today, but we're not coming so here today.
But what I liked about it was it forced us
to do something different. It forced us to kind of
put the responsibility on yourself to make the kids happy,
as opposed to I mean going to Disneyland or going
(05:11):
we were we were planning on going to not spray
farm for Greece Birthday, but of course you know we can't.
But it made everything more intimate. It made me put
my like creativity cap on, which was a lot of fun. Yeah.
I think we have to wear a lot of creativity
caps right now in so many different ways. But I
think that's a silver lining, right that we all have
(05:33):
some extra family time, sometimes maybe too much, but it
is family time that we otherwise wouldn't have had, So
that is awesome. So you were diagnosed with endometriosis in
two thousand and six, right, and what were the symptoms
that you had and was it hard getting that diagnosis? Oh? Well, okay,
(05:55):
so I guess I'll start with was it hard getting
that diagnosis? Um, it was very hard. For years I
had suffered. I was going to my regular doctor, which
was a family practitioner, and I would constantly tell her
about my symptoms. I was like telling her It almost
(06:17):
felt like I was telling her about my symptoms like
every time I would be on my period. But the
weirdest thing was it was like she wasn't taking my
symptoms very seriously. Um it was kind of like, well,
just take a bath, take a warm bath. Or when
I would tell her that didn't work last month, it
(06:37):
was we'll get on the treadmill. Well, okay, but that
didn't work in July. Then August will come around, put
an eating pad on it. Well that didn't work either.
So it was kind of like I was being passed,
you know off, and that was very frustrating. And my
symptoms were I was having excruciating pain when it came
(07:00):
to my cramps, meaning I couldn't function because my cramps
were so painful. I would be balled up in a ball.
I would have heavy, heavy, heavy periods, meaning I would
go through you know, my feminine means so fast because
I was just so heavy. And then also this is
(07:22):
very weird, but I'm very honest, you know when I
when I speak about this, because I just want to
be transparent just in case if someone else is dealing
with this, there were lots of clots. There was a
lot of clotting, which was very odd to me because
you know, whenever I would ask someone else, do you
get this? Do you get that? They're like, no, I
don't have clots like that, and I'm like, well, that's
weird because I do, so I would have to say
(07:44):
those were my symptoms. I think the biggest key here
that I want to share with people is your symptoms
take over. You're unable to function. And that's when I
knew that something was wrong. Was when the pain had
gotten so bad and actually share this in my book
Who Knew You. The symptoms got so bad that I
(08:06):
had to call an ambulance or I wanted to call
an ambulance because I was like, I need something to
stop me from feeling this pain because it was just terrible.
And that's when I knew. I was like, this isn't
normal and I need to really try to fix this
or figure out what is going on. So just even
(08:26):
having someone listened to you was part of the problem.
And this is something I hear all the time. The
CDC even has a campaign right now called Hear Her
for this very reason. Because women are not listened to
so often No, No, What did you do after you
were finally diagnosed? Before I got I think it's also
(08:47):
important to talk about even like how I got diagnosed.
I didn't give up, meaning I didn't take no for
an answer. I was my own advocate and I continue
you to fight. So I ended up finding an incredible
doctor who diagnosed me just by just hearing my symptoms
(09:10):
and listening to me. She was like, you know what,
you are the perfect candidate for indometriosis. And I remember
sitting in her office going huh that, Like what is that?
She was like, your African American, you're in your mid twenties.
But in order for me to properly diagnose you, we
have to have surgery. And that was like sure. I
(09:32):
was like what, I had never gone under anesthesia. I
was just like, oh my gosh, I'm so scared. Did
to that? But anyway, so basically what I did after
my diagnosis, the first thing was I got the surgery.
She properly diagnosed me, and then after having that first surgery,
my symptoms kind of went away a little bit, but
then they came back, so I had to have another surgery.
(09:54):
And so she said, look tia, if you don't want
to have another surgery read and if you want to
have children one day, because endometriosis is a you know,
a highly inflammatory condition that can cause in fertility. She said,
you're going to have to change your diet and your lifestyle.
That was the first thing that I started to really
capitalize on and focus on after I was diagnosed. I
(10:18):
started to change my lifestyle. I changed my diet. I
changed I started to focus on my stress levels, what
was causing me stress, focused on things that would you know,
make me not so stressed, like yoga, meditation, and then
just you know, started taking supplements, taking care of my
body and finding that for a doctor to recommend lifestyle
(10:42):
and dietary changes, by the way, so that is such
a plus. And and to be honest with you, I
was I was like taking aback because I was like, wait, what,
You're not gonna like just give me a pill or
say that this is gonna go away with just one pill.
It was the first time I had heard a doctor
even talk about food and how food can suppress or
(11:05):
exacerbate some sort of underlying condition that you have. And
so she had told me to stay away from dairy
because dairy causes inflammation in the body. And I was like,
what what you know? When I was young and I'm
still young. But I think that's also the message here,
is that you don't want to wait until something bad
happens or something scary happens in order for you to
(11:29):
start doing precautions, you know what I mean, just taking
care of yourself. I wish everybody, every woman had a
doctor like that. I have to say, now, you talked
(11:52):
about both of your pregnancies being challenging. Yeah, I would
say most pregnancies are challenging, But how were they different?
What did you go through? So what was so interesting
about my challenges was I was gladly bringing them on
because I was pregnant, you know what I mean. I
was just happy to just be pregnant. So I was like, Okay, yeah,
(12:15):
I'm I'm extremely nauseous right now, bring it on, you
know what I mean. Yeah, that's a great sign you're pregnant,
you know. So, But after two months went by, and
then after three months went by, and after four months
went by, and after five months went by, I'm like,
why am I still nauseous? Like this isn't fun anymore.
(12:37):
That was the first pregnancy, that was what was the
most difficult. Were you diagnosed with hyperremesis? No, you know
what I I was never given that diagnosis, but I
was told within like my next check up, if I
was still, you know, experiencing this, that I was going
(12:58):
to have to get one of those things that was
attached to you that would just release Zoe friend just
in your body. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no no no, I don't want to do that. So
I started eating bread just every single day. And the bread,
for some reason no longer made me feel nauseous. I
(13:18):
ate it so much that I gained so much weight,
of course, but then also I had a terrible allergy
to it after my pregnancy. Isn't that crazy? Just don't
take the coffee, I know, right, I was like, this
is terrible. But you know it was so crazy because
it was like as soon as my son was out
(13:38):
of me, you know, after we had the cesarean, but
you know, anesthesia will make you hurl um. But after
all of that, it was like the nausea it went away,
and I was like, oh, this is what it feels like.
Oh my gosh. For my second pregnancy, it was actually worse.
My second fact. Yeah, I was like, I am not
that woman where or it's just very sugar gum drops
(14:04):
and you know when you're pregnant. I was unicorns. No,
that wasn't me. I had gestational diabetes. I had a DIMA.
I had carpal tunnel that had high blood pressure carpal tunnel.
I was like, is this a joke? Like every single
time I would see my doctor, she'd be like, uh tea, yeah,
(14:28):
well now you have this, and I'm like are you serious?
Like are you joking? But again, I just took it
with all of it, like with stride and with pride
because I was just grateful to be carrying my children
because I didn't think that I could ever get pregnant.
So I was just always in a space of gratitude,
(14:50):
even when I was sticking myself in the thigh with
the insulin. You know, it was like a miracle. So yes,
all children, All children are miracles. In my opinion, it's
just to be able to have a child just grow
in you and just started this tiny, tiny little thing
and just become this beautiful human being. That's a miracle
(15:15):
no matter how it happened. But just the process of
just them being able to come to you know, earth
side is just it's a miracle. So I'm with you.
And so the c section you had to c sections? Yes, well,
first of all, how is your recovery? The first one
(15:37):
was better and then the second one. The second one,
I guess because there's more scar tissue. I don't know
if it was older. I was like, I don't remember this,
this is like this is I was like, this is crazy. Yeah,
that that happens, all of those memories that you want
to forget and then all of a sudden, But I
will say this, if you do what you're supposed to do,
(16:00):
rest and not do too much. That's the hardest thing
about having a ces arean. How can you rest when
you have a baby and you're taking care of that
baby and your breastfeeding and you're just like, how, I gosh,
this is insane. But can you take your meds and
do what you're supposed to do. Eventually you'll get over
that hump. And I think like the first I would
say like maybe the first five, six, six days are
(16:21):
pretty rough, but after that you're It's amazing how the
body just starts to heal and plus moms are so amazing.
We we rock, we do. And you actually wrote a
book about pregnancy I did, which is Oh Baby, Pregnancy
Tales and Advice from one Hot Mama to another. Yeah,
(16:42):
And that was after Cree was born. That was after Cree. Yeah,
motherhood was the mother of invention for you to kind
of like me, because I I delivered the proposal for
what to expect when You're expecting two hours before I
went into labor with Emma. So it kind of inspired you,
it did. And I think what inspired me to that
book was again, I was going through so much that
(17:05):
I was like, I'm sure there are many women that
feel the same way, and I just want to just
make light of all of it, make it funny, and
make it fun because what I think people aren't really
honest about is pregnancy is scary, you know, especially if
you've had IVF or if you've had complications, or even
(17:26):
if you've had a miscarriage. Going through the whole process,
it's scary and it's nerve reckoning. And then what I
was telling my friend the other day was you're also alone,
Like when are you ever around a woman in the
same household? Even that is pregnant with you, it's just you.
(17:47):
So I just wanted to just make light of it,
make women laugh, you know, talk about the bloody noses,
talk about the peeing on yourself when you Oh my god,
every I had bloody noses every day. I still p myself. Yeah,
when I first had a bloody nose, oh my gosh,
like what is happening? Like this is crazy? You know again,
(18:07):
I didn't hear women say, yeah, you know, when I
was pregnant, I had bloody noses. So like again, I
just wanted people to know that it's normal to have
bloody noses, you know what I mean, Like when you're pregnant,
it's fine, and and be stuffy and snore even and
have that like gaggy feeling all night from the drip
drip drip, the post nasal drip. Yeah, it's it's all
(18:31):
the constipation that was mine that too. Or I had
mentioned chess acne and back acne, so that's why I'm like,
why didn't nobody tell me about this? So those are
the things that I wasn't afraid to talk about but
make light of and fun because it's normal. I don't
want women to freak out. You know we're not gonna laugh,
(18:52):
We're gonna cry, so I'd rather laugh. Yeah, exactly. If
you don't have a sense of humor as a parent
or as a pregnant mom, you are so screw so
switching gears to parenting. So, Emma, there's five years. Yeah, boys,
Lennox is seven and Sebby just turned to our ages
are almost the same. But did Yeah, Sebby was born
(19:15):
in Your youngest was born in May and we're June. Oh,
that's so cool. My son it was June. So he's
nine and Cairo is May five and she's two and
a half. So was it hard for because they're so
far apart. Was it hard for freda kind of adjust
to having a new baby in the house or was
(19:37):
he super excited? It was very hard? Uh huh, it was.
I don't know. Was it for you too. I was
a single mom for a while, so he was like
super attached to me. I kind of like overcompensated for everything,
but like presents and gifts and all my attention. So
I think like it was a little rough on him
because all of a sudden he had a new father
figure in the house and the new baby. But it
(19:59):
was rough, but you know, you get through it, Yeah,
you do, you know. With with Cree, it's interesting that
you say, because I knew that it was time to
have a baby. When I started to have a shrine
of my son in the house, it was is this healthy?
Like this is just wrong. This just looks wrong. And
(20:25):
so when kiro, let me tell you what he did,
which was so interesting. Cree he never was the child
that would draw on the wall, you know, or anything
like that. So he had gone into her room, and
this was before she was born, almost up to you know,
it was she was close close, and he drew on
(20:47):
her furniture. He's very good at art, and he has
this signature thing that he does with like these little
swirl things, and he did that on her dresser. And
I said, oh my gosh, I feel so bad as
a parent. Because Cairo's room was Craze room. So we
had moved Craze room to the bigger room. And I
(21:09):
tried to tell him, you're getting the bigger room. You're
the big brother, Like, look, you have a shower, like
you have all of this stuff. This is so cool.
He drew on her furniture. It was like he was
marking his territory. He was like, it was, yeah, that's
so funny. That's so you know, right, so much wisdom
(21:30):
there and a little guy. Yeah, but he's better now.
Like they have the best relationship, right and it changes.
It's so beautiful. He is the big brother, watches over her,
make sure she's okay. It's so funny seeing him try
to pick her up, you know, when she's crying. That's
what it looked like in a way, like that larger
(21:51):
age gap is so beneficial because you really get the help.
I mean, I wish Lenox would change diapers. Oh my gosh,
you guys, I have to tell a story about a
diaper really quick. I hope I'm not digressing too much.
So but it's interesting that you say that. You talk
about helping because I agree with you. Cree helps with everything.
Because people always ask me about that gap, and I'm like,
it's been great. I mean, the only thing is is
they just have when their activities they're just so different
(22:14):
that your day is just you know, you're just like
all over the place, as opposed to having both kids
go to one one place. But Cree will not touch
a poopy diaper. Cairo, she had pooped, and her poop
was so heavy that her diaper fell, and my son
jetted out of the room so fast that if I
(22:35):
was in his way, he would have knocked me down.
I feel you. I'm like him. I can't stand the poop. No,
Creed cannot stand it. He's out of the room like gone,
like lightning. I love it. Well, you know, I think
we all have divisions like in our households, like you
(22:56):
do puke, I do poop, you do flawed. I don't
know if you have those. My husband two years ago
create had the stomach flu and lord god, you know
how that spread so fast around the house. But I
can't do throw up. Corey like literally caught it in
his hand, like the throw up in his hand and
it's just like oozing out of his hand. And I'm like,
(23:22):
for sure, we all have our limits. So your sister Tamara,
he has little kids too. Now do you wish you
would had twins? No? Oh no, I don't know how.
My mother did. And she worked, you know, her and
my dad worked, And I'm like, how how did you
(23:44):
do this with like having to crying babies at the
same time? How are you like putting the babies down
like for naps and you know, getting us to go
to sleep at nine and get putting us on schedules,
and I guess being a mom, you're put into survival mode,
so maybe that's what it was with I just think
it's a lot, like I don't know if I could
could handle that. But the positive is having a twin
(24:07):
is amazing because you have that built in bond and
you're going through life and life's obstacles together. Yeah, and
my husband Eric and my's dad is an identical twin two.
Oh wow. Cool. But the weird thing is I think
when they were younger they did all kinds of crazy
twin stuff where you like could cue the Twilight Zone music, like,
(24:27):
oh my god, they didn't do that at the same
time two thousand miles apart, but they did. But he
doesn't have quite the same bond with his brother that
he did when he was growing up. But it sounds
like you do, and that's amazing. Well, yeah, I mean
to be honest with you, now that we do have
kids and then she lives away, we were closer, you know,
when we were younger, um, but we definitely try to
(24:49):
keep that bond we actually had, especially during quarantine. We
have something called sibling love and we I know it's corny,
we call it. We call each other every two weeks
on face time and you know, but all the siblings
and we just chat and just you know, check in,
just to see how everybody's doing. I'm gonna make my
brother do that. What about you and Corey? So you've
(25:12):
been married for twelve years twelve, but we've been together
for almost twenty one. Whoa, how do you that fresh? Yeah?
I'm trying to keep a fresh I know, you know,
I think continue to date each other, like you know,
(25:33):
we're actually going to go on a date tomorrow and
we dress up, you know, like you have to stay
in that dating phase where you dress up for each other,
you know, put on some perfume, spend that quality time.
Especially when you have kids, and when you have two
kids or just a kid in general, your priority shifts.
(25:58):
You know. It's kind of like you just naturally gravitate
towards your kids and making sure that your kids are okay,
and then you're like, am I okay? And then but
you have to really focus on your marriage because if
you don't, it'll be neglected, and then that's not good
if that's not what you want, you know what I mean, Well,
it's not even good for your kids. No, you're right,
(26:20):
because they learned about relationships from their parents. So in fact,
if you model the kind of relationship you one day
want them to have. But I think it's easy to
put on the back burner because you can't put kids
on the back burner because they're gonna have meltdowns, right,
exactly exactly, But it's easy to put your relationship with
your partner on the back burner. And I feel it's
so important, incredibly important. I mean, we had sex dates,
(26:43):
Like we had to have sex once a week. That
was like a rule in our house because otherwise we
wouldn't get around to it. Heidi, this is the first
time where I'm admitting it. We do too, what we
do too? Yeah, once a week we have We always
said we should do it more often, but once a week.
And you know, when I was younger and I when
(27:05):
I would hear that, I would be like, why do
you have to do that? Like you know what I mean? No,
but you, like you said, it's like you do, especially
with kids and with work and all that, Like you
have to to make sure that it's not neglected in
any kind of way. So maybe a girl totally m
(27:37):
what's the best advice you ever got when you were
pregnant and as a new parent, that's advice that I
that I had gotten that and I didn't listen. I
wish I did when I was pregnant. Was rest when
the baby sleeps, you know what I mean, like sleep
when the baby. Yeah, like, but it's so important that
you do that. That is the best advice that you
(27:57):
can get. Or it's cliche, but but I will tell
you that the one advice that I had gotten that
was very beneficial to me was prior to getting pregnant.
This woman had told me, Tia, make sure you do
everything that you want to do, like even when it
comes to having fun. So I remember I had you know,
(28:17):
I was such a good girl, you know with sister
and sister like I rarely got drunk and I was like,
let me see what it feels like. Just get so
I also just like, you know, but just like have fun,
do travel, do whatever it is that you want to do,
you know, and that you can do before you have
(28:38):
a child, because like you said, certain things, it's going
to be very easy for you to put on the
back burner until things get settled again. The best advice
that I had gotten for being a mom, and I've
actually have a whole like business model off of this advice.
I was just asking this woman. I was like, how
do you do it? Like? How how are you press
(29:00):
and with being a mom and with you know, being
a showrunner and just being able to just juggle all
of these things and you still have a smile on
your face. And she said, how can the goose lay
the egg if the goose does not take care of herself?
Oh yeah, so right, So how can you be the
(29:20):
best mom if you don't give yourself time, if you
do not nurture yourself, if you do not give yourself
self care, if you do not take that time to
take a nap, if you do not take that time
to meditate, if you do not take that time, you know,
just to yourself, how can you be present and full
(29:41):
to do other things that you love to do? And
so that was the best advice. You also, in your
spare time, have a line of supplements. Yes, oh my god,
I know, but I do. I have a supplement line.
And we talked about endometriosis and and my journey, and
(30:03):
that's what inspired me to come out with this line.
You know, I had gone on this personal wellness journey
for myself and I had mentioned how taking supplements was
a part of you know, me reaching my full wellness potential.
And I just wanted to encourage other women and people
to do the same, to take charge of their health.
(30:23):
And you don't have to wait till something bad happens
or until we get older to start, you know, really
focusing on our health. Why not start doing what we
need to do right now. But what inspired me the
most about my my supplement line was, you know, when
I was on this wellness journey, I didn't see women
of color being represented. I didn't see representation. I didn't
(30:47):
see you know, diversity when it came to speaking to
that audience. So my goal with with answer is to communicate,
you know, of course to everyone, but also to communicate
to the audience that didn't feel included when it came
to wellness. And our supplement line answer, it's tangible, it's affordable,
(31:12):
um and we have an incredible prenatal with you know,
my personal experience. I wanted to make sure that it
had properties or ingredients in there that helped with nausea.
So we have Pepperman's, we have ginger, and of course
it's no gluten reservative free. It's not vegan because we
have the fish oil, which you you need. But the
rest of the line from even the gummy line that
(31:34):
we have is all vegan, the men's the women's line,
the beauty formula. We have digestive comfort, we have healthy
Mood that helps with your mood. We have just incredible
things just to you know, help you feel good on
a day to day basis. But we're so proud of it.
And it's purposeful, you know what I mean. It's about
helping people get on the right path. So and I
(31:57):
feel like, especially for women of color, when they become pregnant,
often are at higher risk for things like justinational diabetes
and pre acclampsia. To get healthy before you even become pregnant.
And that's why I always say, take a prenatal don't
wait until you get the you know, the pea stick,
right until you see the plus line. You get yourself
(32:18):
a prenatal vitamin. I say, take one all the time,
like in your reproductive years. So I think that's great.
I think that's great. So now I hear that you
have a question for me. Okay, So basically my question
for you is just how do you go about this situation? Okay?
So my daughter, she's very very close to her dad,
(32:41):
like she's a daddy's girl. Like, no matter how I
can be, I can be around Cairo for twenty four hours,
but she's still a daddy's girl. It just seems like
it's just something that happens. And so she's having a
hard time, like eating in her high chair in the morning,
and she always wants her daddy to sitch with her.
She goes Daddy sit, Daddy sit, Daddy sit, So she
(33:03):
wants to be on daddy's lap. And she's very capable
of sitting in her own high chair and eating herself. Okay,
she's done this. She'll do it for me, She'll do
it for everybody else but her daddy. Now this is
where it gets a little muddy. Is my husband. He
gives in to her, you know, but then he like
(33:24):
gets frustrated sometimes if he has to do things, because
you know, he can always be there to have Cairo
sit on daddy's lap. But I'm kind of in a
bind because he doesn't want to hear her cry or
doesn't want to see her cry, and then he just
gives in. So I don't know you. So first of all,
(33:46):
I can relate because I'm not going to name any
means here, but I had a daughter. I have a daughter.
When she wanted something, she would just call him Gaga
because that was her baby name for him, and so
like she'd be said and tena rows old, and when
she wanted something, she just like sidle up to him
and say Gaga, and then he was putty in her hands.
(34:06):
I totally feel you, And you know, in the end,
it doesn't really matter. What matters is that the two
of you are on the same parenting page and that
you're a united front, because clearly in your family, she
wants something, she goes to daddy. I mean, I always say,
it's kind of like traffic rules. If all the traffic
rules were changing all the time, and you knew that
(34:28):
on Monday the red light men stop, and then on
Tuesday and then go or it meant whatever you wanted
to me and on that day, then there would be chaos,
right because the rules were always changing. You know, there
are so few absolutes and parenting. You know, like you
gotta love your child, you gotta keep your child healthy
and safe. But if I were going to add one more,
(34:49):
be consistency. You have to be consistent and you have
to be consistent between the parents. Yes, that makes so
much sense, and I'm telling you there's definitely no consistency
when it comes to that. But also thank you so
much for that, because now I'm just going to talk
(35:13):
to Cory and just, you know, see what is it
that we both agree to exactly. I think sometimes parents
feel like there has to be a certain number of
times a day they say no, just you know, to
maintain their authority. But it's not like you have to
say no all the time or that you have to
have a certain number of rules. You just have to
have what is non negotiable yes in our home, and
(35:36):
that whether it's jumping on the bed or whether it's
eating in the high chair, that's reasonable. As guys, It's
always the same no matter who's in charge, got it? Oh?
I like that. Okay, I'm gonna check in with you
Heidi in like two weeks until you have literally literally
describing my house no boundaries. I'm like, I'm learning to
to I'm learning to Okay, No, it's hard. It's hard,
(36:00):
especially with a taller, manipulated little creature. So Tea, I
want to thank you so much. Thank you for hanging
out today, no problem. I love supporting women. I love
speaking about family and babies and all that stuff. So
this was something that I was truly looking forward to.
So thank you so much for all that you're doing.
(36:22):
Oh so I appreciate it. It takes a village, right,
we're allus together, yet we are. Thank you. Thank baby below,
my baby belove. I need you, oh how I need you.
(36:44):
Thanks for listening. Remember I'm always here for you. What
to Expect is always here for you. We're all in
this together. For more on what you heard on today's episodes,
visit what to Expect dot com slash podcast. You can
also check out what Tooks Back, when You're Expecting, What
to Expect the First Year, and the What to Expect app.
(37:05):
And we want to hear from you. Connect with us
on our community message board or on our social media.
You can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at
Emma bing wt E and of course at What to Expect.
Baby Love is performed by Riley Peterer. What to Expect
(37:25):
is a production of I Heart Radio from More shows
from I heart Radio check out the I heart Radio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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