February 25, 2025 • 13 mins
What do you do when the people in your life don’t share your faith—or worse, when they actively pull you away from it? A listener sent in this tough but common question, and today, we’re diving deep into how to navigate relationships while staying strong in your walk with God. Maybe it’s friends who don’t respect your beliefs, family members who challenge your faith, or even a romantic relationship that’s making you feel distant from God. So, how do you love people well without compromising your faith?
In this episode, we’ll break down what the Bible says about relationships and influence, how to set boundaries without being judgmental, and how to know when it’s time to step back. Plus, we’ll talk about how your life—not just your words—is your loudest testimony. If you’ve ever struggled with balancing faith and relationships, this conversation will equip you with wisdom, encouragement, and practical steps to protect your faith while still loving those around you.
HOST: Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about Leanne, head over to www.LeanneEllington.com, and to share your thoughts, questions, feedback, or guest suggestions instantly, head on over to www.WhatsGodGotToDoWithIt.com.
Follow Leanne on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leanneellington/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry. Not here to preach. I'm gonna keep it
clean and talk to me and recall where faith needs
fars nature, get in touch with your creator with a
baking love and jew She even speaks Hebrew. What's that? Gotza?
(00:31):
What's that? This? Well sabosation? You should talking transformation? What's
that Gonzato? Hey? Hey, and welcome back to What's God
got to do with it? And today we're tackling another
really important question from one of our listeners, and here
(00:53):
is what they asked. They said, I'm trying to grow
in my faith, but I have people in my life
who don't share my beliefs, and honestly, some of them
even pull me away from God. I don't want to
be judgmental, but I also don't want to compromise my faith.
How do I handle relationships like these? First of all,
this is such a great question, and it's a really
(01:13):
real question because navigating relationships and faith is not easy because,
let's be honest, when you're walking with God, not everyone
in your life is going to be on the same journey.
And so maybe you have friends who don't understand your faith,
or maybe you have family members who challenge your beliefs
or even make fun of them. Or maybe you're in
(01:33):
a relationship that started out great, but now you feel
like it's leading you further from who you want to be.
And this is where the tension comes in, right, Because
we are called to love people and we're called to
be a light in the world, but we're also called
to guard our hearts and protect our faith. And so
how do we balance that and how do we stay
strong in our faith without pushing people away? And how
(01:57):
do we set boundaries without feeling like we're judging or
rejecting other people? And how do we know when it's
time to step back from a relationship completely? And So, again,
by no means am I an expert here. I'm on
this journey myself. But that's what we're going to unpack today.
And so if you've ever struggled with this, or if
you've ever felt torn between loving people well and staying
(02:19):
firm in your beliefs, then you are in the right place.
So grab your tea, your coffee, get cozy, and let's
dive on in. So why is this so hard? Like,
let's start with that and simply start by acknowledging why
this is such a difficult thing to navigate. And so, first,
we're wired for connection. You know, God designed us to
(02:40):
be in relationships with Him and with others, and so
when we feel like our faith is at odds with
people that we care about, it creates this deep internal conflict. Second,
we don't want to seem judgmental, right, Like, no one
wants to be that Christian, right, the one who acts
holier than thou or makes people feel like they're not
good enough. Right. We've all experienced that in person, I'm sure,
(03:03):
and let's be honest, it's not a great color on us, right.
And then the third reason this is so hard is
because change is uncomfortable. Right when you start growing in
your faith, not everyone around you is going to understand it,
and some people will support you, but others will question you.
And some may even be threatened by your change and
(03:23):
what's transforming inside of you because it forces them to
reflect on their own choices or they might feel like
they're losing you. Right, So there's a number of reasons
people can actually feel threatened by it. So let's break
all of this down, Like, how do we handle this
in a way that honors God, protects our own faith walk,
but also so that we can still love people. Well, well,
first let's look at what the Bible says about this.
(03:46):
And God actually speaks a lot about relationships and how
they shape us. So let's look at a few key scriptures.
So first, Proverbs thirteen twenty talks about how your relationship
shapes your walk, and specifically, it says walk with the
wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
(04:06):
So what does this mean, Well, the people that you
surround yourself with will influence you, whether you realize it
or not, and not all influence is good influence. And
this isn't about being judgmental. It's about being aware. And
if you spend time with people who constantly tear down
your faith, or tear you down, or dismiss your values,
(04:27):
or encourage you to compromise, it's only a matter of
time before it starts affecting you. Proverbs four twenty three
tells us to guard our heart, where it literally says,
above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do
flows from it. And so your heart is the center
of your faith. And if you just let anything or
(04:48):
anyone in without discernment. It will shape your thoughts, your choices,
and your beliefs. And so this doesn't mean cutting people
off at the first sign of struggle, right, But it
does mean being intentional about who gets the most access
to your heart and mind and being discerning about that.
(05:08):
And that's where self image comes in too, because if
you're hustling for your worthiness and you just want people
to like you, you're going to have low standards and
you're not going to feel strong enough to be intentional
about who gets your time and your energy. And so
it's about making sure that you know you're not the
bad influence on yourself, thinking that you are only worthy
of receiving less than you than you're worth. Scripture also
(05:29):
tells us that we're called to be in the world,
not of the world, where John seventeen fifteen through sixteen
it says, my prayer is not that you take them
out of the world, but that you protect them from
the evil one. They are not of the world, even
as I am not of it. And so Jesus never
told us to isolate ourselves. He knew we would be
(05:51):
surrounded by people who don't share our faith. But He
also prayed that we'd be protected and that we wouldn't
let the world pull us away from from our purpose.
And so how do we handle these relationships without guilt
or fear? And what does this look like practically in
real life? As in like, how do you protect your
faith while still being in relationship with people who don't
(06:13):
share it? So again, just have to say, I'm by
no means an expert, but here are my experiences and
four key steps that I truly believe will help anyone
that's navigating this. Step one is to identify which relationships
are helping and which are hurting your faith. And so
not every relationship affects you the same way. Right, some
people may challenge your face but ultimately respect your beliefs.
(06:37):
And then there might be other people that outright mock
you or discourage you. And so just ask yourself, do
I feel encouraged in my faith after spending time with
this person? Or do I feel drained and distant from God?
Ask you know, do they respect my beliefs even if
they don't share them? Because two things can be true
at the same time. You cannot share a belief but
respect to belief. Right, asking like am I in fluencing
(07:00):
them or are they influencing me? And just really being
aware of the impact that certain relationships have on you
is the first step in handling them wisely. Okay. Step
two is to set healthy boundaries, but without cutting people
off unless you need to write, unless you really feel
called to. And so here's the thing that took me
(07:20):
a while to get. Boundaries are not rejection. They are protection.
So let me say that again. Boundaries are not rejection,
they're protection. And if a certain conversation keeps leading to
arguments about your faith, it's okay to say, like, hey,
I'd love for us to respect each other's beliefs and
not debate this every time we talk, and not get
into this every time we talk if we're not kind
(07:42):
of agree to disagree. And so if hanging out with
a certain group constantly tempts you to compromise your values,
it's okay to start spending less time in those environments.
And if somebody is outright, you know, consistently tearing down
your faith, it's okay to distance yourself without making it
someatic confrontation. I think we think it's got to be
(08:02):
this dramatic confrontation, but you're allowed to just distance yourself
and not make it a big thing. And listen, sometimes
there are relationships that you need to fully step away from.
I've had those two. It's painful, they're not easy. Endings
are sad, right, But if somebody is toxic and manipulative
or pulling you into sin, there's no shame in saying like, hey,
(08:22):
I love you, but I can't keep doing this, right.
I know, for me, I had to look at it
like it's not anti them, it's pro me, Like I
had to take a stand for myself. Step three is
to let your life speak louder than your words, like
let who you are speak louder than your words. And
so one of the biggest mistakes that we can make
is trying to go you know, air quotes fix or
(08:44):
convince people to believe what we believe. And instead of
preaching at people, That's where I invite you to live
your faith boldly but authentically. Like if your version of
bold is just being a stand for who you are
and standing in your faith, you know, your version of
bold might not be getting up and sharing about it
in a podcast or an Instagram post or on a pulpit. Right,
(09:04):
It's all about being confident and bold in your faith,
but do it in a way that's authentic to you.
And so for all my introverts out there, right, you
do you? Okay? So when they see your peace, though,
when they see you standing in the knowingness of who
you are with peace, they're gonna want to know where
that peace comes from. And when they see your joy,
(09:26):
they're gonna wonder what's different. And when they see you
handle struggles with faith rather than going down anxious rabbit holes,
they're gonna take notice. Okay. Matthew five sixteen even says
let your light shine before others, that they may see
your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. And
so I've learned this from experience, your life, your energy,
(09:48):
how you present yourself, and just the light about you
that you walk around with. That is the loudest testimony
that you could share. Step four is to just pray
for them and trust God with their journey. Right. It's
not your responsibility, and so at the end of the day,
you're not responsible for changing someone's heart. Only God can
do that. And so instead of stressing over their salvation,
(10:11):
just pray for them and trust that God is working
even if you don't see it yet. And here's my
invitation for you. You know, the next time you feel
that tension in relationship over faith, just pause and pray
and just ask God, like, how do you want me
to love this person well while I still stay true
and protect my own faith? Right? And when you ask
(10:32):
him that question, like, Hey, God, how do you want
me to love this person well and still protect my faith?
When you ask him, it takes the pressure off of you,
at least it does for me. So that's my invitation
for you. So here's what I want you to take
away today. You don't have to feel guilty for protecting
your faith. You're allowed to set boundaries, and not every
(10:52):
relationship will be easy, but God will give you wisdom.
And some people will respect your faith and some won't,
but you can love them well without compromising your beliefs.
The other thing is that your life and who you
are is your loudest testimony, and so focus on living
your faith authentically rather than forcing it on others or
(11:13):
at least trying to defend it or get them to
see what you are seeing. And also, you don't have
to cut everyone out of your life, but you do
want to be intentional and discerning about who gets the
most influence over your heart and mind and soul and spirit,
because at the end of the day, your relationship with
God is the most important one that you'll ever have,
and protecting that that's not selfish, that in my opinion,
(11:37):
is essential. So thank you so much for joining me
today on this Ask the God Pod series here on
What's God Got to Do with It? And if this
episode resonated with you, feel free to just pass it
on and share it with somebody who might need that
encouragement as well. And if you have a question you
want me to tackle, just go ahead and send it
my way. And until next time, remember you can love
(11:57):
people well without losing yourself in the process. Okay, I
hope you got whatever you needed to hear today and
I will catch you next week. Bye. We'll be back
with more What's God Got to Do with It? But
in the meantime, I would definitely love to hear from you,
so just tell me where you are in your story
(12:17):
or maybe what questions you have, like where do you
feel you need clarity or support or wisdom in your
own journey. I definitely want to hear from you. So
head on over to What's God Got to Do with
It dot com and scroll down to the form to
share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback, and you can
do that instantly. So What's God Got to Do with
(12:38):
It dot com You'll find all the ways to do that.
And if you like this podcast and want to hear more,
go ahead and follow, like, and subscribe wherever you listen
to podcasts to get your weekly dose of What's God
Got to Do with It? New episodes drop every single Tuesday,
and while you're there, be sure to rate and review
to show your support. It really means so much. What's
(13:02):
God Got to Do With It is an iHeartRadio podcast
on the Amy Brown Podcast Network. It's written and hosted
by me Leanne Ellington, executive produced by Elizabeth Fozzio, post
production and editing by Houston Tilley, and original music written
by Cheryl Stark and produced by Adam Stark
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry. Not here to preach. I'm gonna keep it
clean and talk to me and recall where faith needs
fars nature, get in touch with your creator with a
baking love and jew She even speaks Hebrew. What's that? Gotza?
(00:31):
What's that? This? Well sabosation? You should talking transformation? What's
that Gonzato? Hey? Hey, and welcome back to What's God
got to do with it? And today we're tackling another
really important question from one of our listeners, and here
(00:53):
is what they asked. They said, I'm trying to grow
in my faith, but I have people in my life
who don't share my beliefs, and honestly, some of them
even pull me away from God. I don't want to
be judgmental, but I also don't want to compromise my faith.
How do I handle relationships like these? First of all,
this is such a great question, and it's a really
(01:13):
real question because navigating relationships and faith is not easy because,
let's be honest, when you're walking with God, not everyone
in your life is going to be on the same journey.
And so maybe you have friends who don't understand your faith,
or maybe you have family members who challenge your beliefs
or even make fun of them. Or maybe you're in
(01:33):
a relationship that started out great, but now you feel
like it's leading you further from who you want to be.
And this is where the tension comes in, right, Because
we are called to love people and we're called to
be a light in the world, but we're also called
to guard our hearts and protect our faith. And so
how do we balance that and how do we stay
strong in our faith without pushing people away? And how
(01:57):
do we set boundaries without feeling like we're judging or
rejecting other people? And how do we know when it's
time to step back from a relationship completely? And So, again,
by no means am I an expert here. I'm on
this journey myself. But that's what we're going to unpack today.
And so if you've ever struggled with this, or if
you've ever felt torn between loving people well and staying
(02:19):
firm in your beliefs, then you are in the right place.
So grab your tea, your coffee, get cozy, and let's
dive on in. So why is this so hard? Like,
let's start with that and simply start by acknowledging why
this is such a difficult thing to navigate. And so, first,
we're wired for connection. You know, God designed us to
(02:40):
be in relationships with Him and with others, and so
when we feel like our faith is at odds with
people that we care about, it creates this deep internal conflict. Second,
we don't want to seem judgmental, right, Like, no one
wants to be that Christian, right, the one who acts
holier than thou or makes people feel like they're not
good enough. Right. We've all experienced that in person, I'm sure,
(03:03):
and let's be honest, it's not a great color on us, right.
And then the third reason this is so hard is
because change is uncomfortable. Right when you start growing in
your faith, not everyone around you is going to understand it,
and some people will support you, but others will question you.
And some may even be threatened by your change and
(03:23):
what's transforming inside of you because it forces them to
reflect on their own choices or they might feel like
they're losing you. Right, So there's a number of reasons
people can actually feel threatened by it. So let's break
all of this down, Like, how do we handle this
in a way that honors God, protects our own faith walk,
but also so that we can still love people. Well, well,
first let's look at what the Bible says about this.
(03:46):
And God actually speaks a lot about relationships and how
they shape us. So let's look at a few key scriptures.
So first, Proverbs thirteen twenty talks about how your relationship
shapes your walk, and specifically, it says walk with the
wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
(04:06):
So what does this mean, Well, the people that you
surround yourself with will influence you, whether you realize it
or not, and not all influence is good influence. And
this isn't about being judgmental. It's about being aware. And
if you spend time with people who constantly tear down
your faith, or tear you down, or dismiss your values,
(04:27):
or encourage you to compromise, it's only a matter of
time before it starts affecting you. Proverbs four twenty three
tells us to guard our heart, where it literally says,
above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do
flows from it. And so your heart is the center
of your faith. And if you just let anything or
(04:48):
anyone in without discernment. It will shape your thoughts, your choices,
and your beliefs. And so this doesn't mean cutting people
off at the first sign of struggle, right, But it
does mean being intentional about who gets the most access
to your heart and mind and being discerning about that.
(05:08):
And that's where self image comes in too, because if
you're hustling for your worthiness and you just want people
to like you, you're going to have low standards and
you're not going to feel strong enough to be intentional
about who gets your time and your energy. And so
it's about making sure that you know you're not the
bad influence on yourself, thinking that you are only worthy
of receiving less than you than you're worth. Scripture also
(05:29):
tells us that we're called to be in the world,
not of the world, where John seventeen fifteen through sixteen
it says, my prayer is not that you take them
out of the world, but that you protect them from
the evil one. They are not of the world, even
as I am not of it. And so Jesus never
told us to isolate ourselves. He knew we would be
(05:51):
surrounded by people who don't share our faith. But He
also prayed that we'd be protected and that we wouldn't
let the world pull us away from from our purpose.
And so how do we handle these relationships without guilt
or fear? And what does this look like practically in
real life? As in like, how do you protect your
faith while still being in relationship with people who don't
(06:13):
share it? So again, just have to say, I'm by
no means an expert, but here are my experiences and
four key steps that I truly believe will help anyone
that's navigating this. Step one is to identify which relationships
are helping and which are hurting your faith. And so
not every relationship affects you the same way. Right, some
people may challenge your face but ultimately respect your beliefs.
(06:37):
And then there might be other people that outright mock
you or discourage you. And so just ask yourself, do
I feel encouraged in my faith after spending time with
this person? Or do I feel drained and distant from God?
Ask you know, do they respect my beliefs even if
they don't share them? Because two things can be true
at the same time. You cannot share a belief but
respect to belief. Right, asking like am I in fluencing
(07:00):
them or are they influencing me? And just really being
aware of the impact that certain relationships have on you
is the first step in handling them wisely. Okay. Step
two is to set healthy boundaries, but without cutting people
off unless you need to write, unless you really feel
called to. And so here's the thing that took me
(07:20):
a while to get. Boundaries are not rejection. They are protection.
So let me say that again. Boundaries are not rejection,
they're protection. And if a certain conversation keeps leading to
arguments about your faith, it's okay to say, like, hey,
I'd love for us to respect each other's beliefs and
not debate this every time we talk, and not get
into this every time we talk if we're not kind
(07:42):
of agree to disagree. And so if hanging out with
a certain group constantly tempts you to compromise your values,
it's okay to start spending less time in those environments.
And if somebody is outright, you know, consistently tearing down
your faith, it's okay to distance yourself without making it
someatic confrontation. I think we think it's got to be
(08:02):
this dramatic confrontation, but you're allowed to just distance yourself
and not make it a big thing. And listen, sometimes
there are relationships that you need to fully step away from.
I've had those two. It's painful, they're not easy. Endings
are sad, right, But if somebody is toxic and manipulative
or pulling you into sin, there's no shame in saying like, hey,
(08:22):
I love you, but I can't keep doing this, right.
I know, for me, I had to look at it
like it's not anti them, it's pro me, Like I
had to take a stand for myself. Step three is
to let your life speak louder than your words, like
let who you are speak louder than your words. And
so one of the biggest mistakes that we can make
is trying to go you know, air quotes fix or
(08:44):
convince people to believe what we believe. And instead of
preaching at people, That's where I invite you to live
your faith boldly but authentically. Like if your version of
bold is just being a stand for who you are
and standing in your faith, you know, your version of
bold might not be getting up and sharing about it
in a podcast or an Instagram post or on a pulpit. Right,
(09:04):
It's all about being confident and bold in your faith,
but do it in a way that's authentic to you.
And so for all my introverts out there, right, you
do you? Okay? So when they see your peace, though,
when they see you standing in the knowingness of who
you are with peace, they're gonna want to know where
that peace comes from. And when they see your joy,
(09:26):
they're gonna wonder what's different. And when they see you
handle struggles with faith rather than going down anxious rabbit holes,
they're gonna take notice. Okay. Matthew five sixteen even says
let your light shine before others, that they may see
your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. And
so I've learned this from experience, your life, your energy,
(09:48):
how you present yourself, and just the light about you
that you walk around with. That is the loudest testimony
that you could share. Step four is to just pray
for them and trust God with their journey. Right. It's
not your responsibility, and so at the end of the day,
you're not responsible for changing someone's heart. Only God can
do that. And so instead of stressing over their salvation,
(10:11):
just pray for them and trust that God is working
even if you don't see it yet. And here's my
invitation for you. You know, the next time you feel
that tension in relationship over faith, just pause and pray
and just ask God, like, how do you want me
to love this person well while I still stay true
and protect my own faith? Right? And when you ask
(10:32):
him that question, like, Hey, God, how do you want
me to love this person well and still protect my faith?
When you ask him, it takes the pressure off of you,
at least it does for me. So that's my invitation
for you. So here's what I want you to take
away today. You don't have to feel guilty for protecting
your faith. You're allowed to set boundaries, and not every
(10:52):
relationship will be easy, but God will give you wisdom.
And some people will respect your faith and some won't,
but you can love them well without compromising your beliefs.
The other thing is that your life and who you
are is your loudest testimony, and so focus on living
your faith authentically rather than forcing it on others or
(11:13):
at least trying to defend it or get them to
see what you are seeing. And also, you don't have
to cut everyone out of your life, but you do
want to be intentional and discerning about who gets the
most influence over your heart and mind and soul and spirit,
because at the end of the day, your relationship with
God is the most important one that you'll ever have,
and protecting that that's not selfish, that in my opinion,
(11:37):
is essential. So thank you so much for joining me
today on this Ask the God Pod series here on
What's God Got to Do with It? And if this
episode resonated with you, feel free to just pass it
on and share it with somebody who might need that
encouragement as well. And if you have a question you
want me to tackle, just go ahead and send it
my way. And until next time, remember you can love
(11:57):
people well without losing yourself in the process. Okay, I
hope you got whatever you needed to hear today and
I will catch you next week. Bye. We'll be back
with more What's God Got to Do with It? But
in the meantime, I would definitely love to hear from you,
so just tell me where you are in your story
(12:17):
or maybe what questions you have, like where do you
feel you need clarity or support or wisdom in your
own journey. I definitely want to hear from you. So
head on over to What's God Got to Do with
It dot com and scroll down to the form to
share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback, and you can
do that instantly. So What's God Got to Do with
(12:38):
It dot com You'll find all the ways to do that.
And if you like this podcast and want to hear more,
go ahead and follow, like, and subscribe wherever you listen
to podcasts to get your weekly dose of What's God
Got to Do with It? New episodes drop every single Tuesday,
and while you're there, be sure to rate and review
to show your support. It really means so much. What's
(13:02):
God Got to Do With It is an iHeartRadio podcast
on the Amy Brown Podcast Network. It's written and hosted
by me Leanne Ellington, executive produced by Elizabeth Fozzio, post
production and editing by Houston Tilley, and original music written
by Cheryl Stark and produced by Adam Stark
Host
Leanne Ellington
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