Ask The God Pod: "Why Do I Keep Repeating the Same Mistakes, Even When I Pray for Change?"

You pray for change, you genuinely want to do better, and yet… you find yourself stuck in the same old habits. Sound familiar? In today’s episode, we answer a listener’s question about why breaking free from repetitive struggles feels so hard—even when we’re actively seeking God’s help. Whether it’s self-sabotage, toxic relationships, negative self-talk, or cycles of fear and doubt, we’ll unpack the three key reasons why we keep repeating patterns: how our brains crave familiarity, how subconscious beliefs shape our actions, and how spiritual battles keep us stuck.

But here’s the truth: You are not broken. You are not beyond hope. And this cycle doesn’t have to define you. We’ll dive into how Romans 12:2 shows us that real transformation happens through the renewing of our minds, how neuroscience confirms that change is possible, and how the Holy Spirit empowers us beyond sheer willpower. If you’re tired of feeling stuck and want real, lasting change, this episode will give you the tools—and the encouragement—to step into true freedom.

HOST: Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington 

To learn more about Leanne, head over to www.LeanneEllington.com, and to share your thoughts, questions, feedback, or guest suggestions instantly, head on over to www.WhatsGodGotToDoWithIt.com.

Follow Leanne on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leanneellington/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:08):
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry. Not here to preach. I'm gonna keep it
clean and talk to me and recall where faith meets
falls of nature and get in touch with your creator
with a bacon, love and jew She even speaks Hebrew.
What's that, Gotzato? What's that? This? Well sabosation? You should

(00:39):
talking transformation? What's that? Gonzato?

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Hey? Hey, and welcome back to what's God got to
do with it? And today we've got another powerful question
from one of our listeners, one that I'm guessing a
lot of us have wrestled with. And here's what they asked. So,
she wrote, I pray, I genuinely want to change, but
I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
Why is that? And how do I actually break free

(01:06):
from this cycle? And so, first of all, this is
such a great question. If you've ever felt like this,
I want you to know you are so not alone.
It's the same thing you know I go through as well.
I'm like, hey, I'm praying about this, like why are
some habits harder to break than others? And so let's
be real, there's nothing more frustrating than feeling stuck in
a cycle that you desperately want to break. So, whether

(01:27):
it's unhealthy eating habits, or toxic relationships or you know,
self sabotage, you know, negative self talker, falling back into
the same old patterns of fear and out, we find
ourselves asking why am I still here? Why am I
still stuck in this cycle? And like I said, I've
been there, and I've had moments of praying being like God,
I don't want to keep doing this and I know

(01:48):
better and I want to change, and yet somehow I'd
find myself back in the same struggle. But here's what
I want you to hear today. You are not broken,
you are not beyond hope, and this pattern does not
have to be your future. So in today's episode, we're
going to break this down into why our brains keep
us stuck in cycles even when our hearts want to change,

(02:10):
how to identify the subconscious patterns that might be running
the show, and then what the Bible says about renewing
our minds and how the Holy Spirit actually has the
power to transform us. So, if you've ever felt frustrated
or ashamed or just plain exhausted from fighting the same
battle over and over. You are in the right place,

(02:30):
So grab your coffee, your tea, get comfy, and let's
dive on in. So why do we keep repeating the
same mistakes? Well, first things first, this is not just
a will power issue, right, And so often we think like,
if I just try harder, if I just you know,
have more discipline, if I just pray more, then I'll
stop doing this. But real lasting change isn't just about

(02:53):
trying harder. It's about understanding why you're stuck in the
first place. And so there are three reasons that I
want to share that we repeat the same mistakes. And
this is not just like an all encompassing list, it's
just three reasons that I want to share with you.
So reason number one is your brain loves some familiarity.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
Right.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Your brain is wired for efficiency, and it loves to
repeat familiar patterns because that requires less energy. And so
if you've been doing something for a long time, whether
it's turning to food for comfort or people pleasing, or
numbing out with social media, maybe just procrastinating when you
feel overwhelmed, your brain has learned that pattern. And even

(03:34):
if it's not good for you. Your brain likes it
because it's predictable, and so think of it like a
well worn hiking trail in the woods. If you've walked
that same path a thousand times, it's automatic. But choosing
a new path that takes effort right. And so when
you try to break a habit, your brain resists, not

(03:54):
just because you're incapable of change, but because your brain
is just trying to stick to what it knows. Okay,
the reason number two is your subconscious beliefs might be
running the show. So so much of what we do
isn't actually conscious. It's driven by deep seated beliefs that
we don't even realize that we have. So for example,

(04:15):
if deep down you believe you know I'm not worthy
of love, you might keep choosing relationships that reinforce that belief.
And if you believe I'll never really change, you might
unconsciously sabotage your progress whenever you start to grow. And
these subconscious beliefs act like a program running in the
background of your life, and so you might be praying

(04:37):
for change, but if your subconscious belief system contradicts what
you're praying for, you will absolutely slip back. Into old
patterns and habits. And as I always say, you can't outsmart,
you can't outwork, you can't outwillpower your brain, your self image,
and your subconscious beliefs. Okay, the next reason is there's
a spiritual battle at play. So let's not forget the

(05:00):
He loves to keep us stuck, right, John ten Ten says,
the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.
I have come that they may have life and have
it to the fall, or some versions say have it abundantly.
And the enemy knows that if he can keep you
trapped in the same cycle of shame and fear and frustration,

(05:20):
he can steal your confidence and kill your momentum and
destroy your hope. And that's why this isn't just a
behavior problem, it's a spiritual battle to and so let's
talk about what the Bible says about transformation. And so
the good news is you are not stuck, and you
are not powerless, and God has already made a way

(05:41):
for you to step into freedom. And so Romans twelve
two says, do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So
let's break this down. I know this is one of
the most common verses, and you know, popular verses in
the Bible, but let's break it down. So do not
conform to the pattern of this world. This means we

(06:03):
don't have to stay stuck in the patterns that we've
learned from culture or our past, or even our own fears, right,
and then be transformed. The Greek word for that, the
etymology of transformed here is metamorphou, which is where we
get the word metamorphosis, like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.
And so this isn't about tweaking a few behaviors. This

(06:25):
is about a total transformation. We've got to transform beyond
these habits, right by the renewing of your mind, it says, right,
So the key to transformation isn't just willpower, it's renewing
your mind. And here's where faith in neuroscience intersect, because
your mind can actually be rewired. And so how do
we actually break free and how do we move from

(06:47):
wanting to change to actually becoming new. Well, without going
too deep into it, because it's a bit beyond the
scope of this episode, but it's about identifying the root
of the pattern, and so you can simply ask yourself, like,
what is this pattern protecting me from? And so sometimes
our behaviors they actually serve a purpose, even if that
purpose doesn't feel good. Right, But maybe your habit of

(07:09):
numbing out with TV is really about avoiding feelings, you know,
feelings of unworthiness or feelings of you know, feeling behind
or anxiety. Right, maybe procrastination is a form of self
protection because you fear failure. And when you get to
the root, you can start addressing the why not just
the one?

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Right.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
The Bible also tells us to take every thought captive.
So Tewod Corinthians ten to five says, we take captive
every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And this
means that you don't just have to accept every thought
that pops into your head as truth or as gospel.
You can question it and you can challenge it, and
you can replace it with new beliefs and new truth,

(07:49):
and you can rewire your brain with God's truth because
your brain follows what you repeat. And so the more
you meditate on scripture, the more your mind lie literally
rewires itself to align with truth. And so, you know,
just start small, like choose one verse that counteracts your
biggest struggle and write it down and just say it

(08:11):
out loud every day, read through it, and of course
rely on the Holy Spirit, right, not just self control,
where Zachariah four to six says not by might nor
by power, but by my spirit, says the Lord Almighty.
And so this isn't about white knuckling your way to change, right,
It's about surrender. And when you invite the Holy Spirit

(08:34):
into your struggle, he empowers you in ways that your
willpower never really could write. And so again, like I
want you to look at it, like, yes, there is
an element of free will, and really like taking those
thoughts captive and you know, rewiring your brain and your
self image and your and your identity. But then it's
about the part that has nothing to do with you,
like the surrender and giving it to God and letting

(08:56):
God transform things in a way that you as a
human can. Right. So here's what I want you to
take away from this, again really emphasizing, because I think
we think that when we have these habits that we
can't grow past. We think we're broken, like I know
I did, and we think we're beyond hope. But you're
not broken. You're not beyond hope and you don't have
to stay stuck.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
Right.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Your brain might have just gotten wired for certain patterns,
but God has given you everything you need to renew
your mind and your subconscious beliefs may be holding you back,
but the Holy Spirit is in the business of transformation.
And so instead of beating yourself up for repeating the
same mistakes, just again start asking yourself, what is this
pattern trying to tell me? What lie am I believing

(09:39):
that's keeping me stuck? And what truth does God want
me to replace it with? Because when you change your thoughts,
you absolutely will change your life. So thank you so
much for joining me today for our Ask the God
Pod series here on the God Pod, And if you
have a question you want me to tackle in a
future episode, just send it on over my way. You

(10:00):
can head on over to What's God Got to Do
with It dot com to do that, and we'll be
back for another listener question next week. So until then,
have a great week. Bye. We'll be back with more
What's God Got to Do with It? But in the meantime,
I would definitely love to hear from you, so just
tell me where you are in your story or maybe

(10:22):
what questions you have, like where do you feel you
need clarity or support or wisdom in your own journey?
I definitely want to hear from you, So head on
over to What's God Got to Do with It? Dot
com and scroll down to the form to share your thoughts,
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(10:42):
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(11:05):
What's God Got to Do With It? Is an iHeartRadio
podcast on the Amy Brown Podcast Network. It's written and
hosted by me Leanne Ellington, executive produced by Elizabeth Fozio,
post production and editing by Houston Tilley, and original music
written by Cheryl Stark and produced by Adam Stark