July 26, 2021 • 49 mins
Jana is on the set of her new Christmas movie and chatting with some of her co-stars!
Ryan McPartlin opens up about working with Jana despite everything going on in her personal life and we find out how she’s been handing those challenges on set.
Maria Menounos reveals that Jana’s movie helped her achieve a lifelong dream.
And Jana hears some intense but necessary advice from Dr. Hillary Goldsher (@drhillaryla) on how to help her kids as they transition to a new normal as a family.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wine Down with Janne Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast.
Hey guys, what's up. Welcome to Wine Down. Um. So
I am in Connecticut right now filming a movie, and UM,
I know a lot of stuff has recently hit the press,
and I honestly, I just want to have a fun
(00:24):
show today and not talk about that. Um probably when
I get back or um, yeah, I mean definitely I
want to process that. But I'm I'm still kind of
I'm still processing it all, and right now I'm excited
to just have a nice little distraction and be here.
(00:44):
I'm I've got gg with me today. Hello, and oh
look who just walked in extra caffee. That voice is,
of course, um, Ryan McPartland. So I am super excited
to have them on the show. And we're also going
to have Maria um zoom in with us. But it's
(01:06):
been really fun because I have I have gotten so
many messages about the both of you, So I'm like
super excited to just like I'm super excited to just like,
oh wow, okay, we're gonna address and I have some
people to, um, you know, ask you guys some questions
(01:28):
because so many people are very intrigued by both of you,
and I think the first one is for gig because
people are like, is she or nanny? Is she your sister?
Is she? Like? Who is she? What are you? Who
are you? And what are you? You know, honestly, it
depends on who you ask. If you ask Joanna, I
don't know. We're just I know it's kind of mysterious too,
(01:52):
but um, I don't really consider it nanny. I kind
of just hang out with the kids while Janna is
a way, but then we literally go and meet up
with Joanna. Yeah, so we hang out. And I will
say this, like, I of all the movie sets that
I've done and had the kids on, this has been
the best experience because you're just like, I mean, you
(02:12):
hang out with me all day on set, and then
you know, you're so good with the kids, and it's
so it's just I see them more than I've ever
seen that I'm on a movie set. Because if you
actually enjoy coming to set, I think, yeah, I do.
It's really fun. It's interesting because I've never even what's
something that like you realize like, oh wow, this is
how it works. Something that hasn't haven't hasn't seen a
(02:34):
movie set before. Um, I didn't realize how many people
were behind the camera and how many cameras there are.
I know that sounds like so basic and simple, but
like there's a lot of moving parts. I still haven't
figured it out. I mean, like, and then like, why
are they here? Were filming that one scene and we
(02:55):
had fake snow and whatever, and so I'm sure y'all
saw it on Joanna's Instagram story. They had tacked me
with fake snowballs, and Jason decided that he was going
to throw a snowball on what he's he's a script supervisor.
He's a script supervisor, and he's you know, really it's Darren.
It's a very important job, it is. And he was
(03:16):
like really focused and concentrated and whatever. So basically what
he does is he makes sure that Ryan is saying
the right line. It's a very hard job. He's not
always on top of it, but he's like super focused,
super concentrated. And Jay swarms up and throws a snowball
on his laptop, and this man death stares me and
(03:37):
it's like he's just in shock, and I'm in shock too,
and I start laughing and dying laughing, and I just
couldn't control it, and then he's like mad that I'm laughing,
and I'm like, I'm so sorry, and and just so
you know, because a lot of people are asking too
in the comments, like how you meet g actually met her?
She was care dot com. Oh they're not. She my
(04:02):
friend Pamela, who you guys have heard on the podcast before.
She um, she found gig And then I was like,
can I please take Gigi with me to film this
movie because I didn't know how long. Honestly, I was
going to have the kids up here. But it's just
going so well that Yeah, at first we were like,
we're not sure how long the Kauds they're gonna last,
but now they're they don't want to go. Um, Ryan,
(04:24):
So a lot of people are saying, um, is Ryan
your co star? Obviously, yes, Terro my co star. Is
he's single? Because well then they go on to say
this a few certain things, um, but a lot of
them said like they're just so happy that, like you know,
like you guys are so fun together and you laugh
and you have a good time. So let's just address
that you are very happily married. Go for it, married
(04:46):
going on nineteen years. I want to say, um, yeah,
but you're she is not my daughter, so uh yeah,
and no, I'm very glad that I could be here
during this time and you could have this experience, this
(05:08):
fun experience because we're laughing so much that, um, I
feel like there are no mistakes, right, So it's really
great that man, how how many months ago did we
start this process of putting it together? And yeah, it's
pretty cool. I mean, Ryan, Um, he's how long have
you had this idea for this movie? It's a couple
of years now. Jessica adding a writer, Jessica Cusaddding. She
(05:32):
and I just sat down in the room and said, hey,
we want to do get her writing a Christmas movie
because she's such a great writer. And um, we just
talked about the rom coms, the romances that we both
I'm kind of a sucker for her chick flicks, I've
gotta be honest. So we started talking about the Notebooks.
We don't know Alabama, I've read all of his books.
(05:55):
Nicholas Sparks. Yeah, did you feel like you're on the
Notebook set a little bit down by the lighthouse and
just gotten in a rowboat? It was crazy? Um, And
then so yeah, we started talking about those and then
what was the other one that I don't want to
give a story point away, so I'm not going to
mention this other movie. But there was a lot of
the a lot of things that we were talking about. Um,
(06:19):
we just started going what do we like about that?
We started pulling different um things and going, now, how
do we fit that into a Christmas movie? And then
it kind of organically took shape a treatment we pitched it,
and then um, when that treatment got into Jana's hands,
that's when the magic began. No, no, no, no, but no.
(06:40):
I mean I remember zooming with you know you and
Jess and the producers, and it's just and at the
time I was married, and um, we just you know,
we we started like this really awesome friendship and working friendship,
and yeah, it felt like we knew each other for
a long time. Just over our first zoom. It was like, yeah,
it was like an instant like kinship. Is that the Yeah,
just like just instant like you know, um friendship. And
(07:03):
it's just been so crazy because you've you've been on that.
There's so much that has happened since we started. And
that was like what six months ago, Yeah, probably less
than that because it was. It's been a journey, man,
It's been a real journey. Because I remember getting that
text from you saying that you were you're out of
commission for a little while for the notes calls and
stuff like that that we're talking about and why, and
(07:26):
I was like, man, you know, I just didn't even
know if this would go forward. I didn't know if
you'd have that the the bandwidth and being the headspace
to move forward with something, you know, a romance, a
Christmas romance with some comedic elements, and I thank god
you did because I feel like, you know, during this
time when everything came together, Um, you know, it's a
(07:50):
little bit I would like to call myself a blessing.
I mean like you you you, like you, M G
G both have been such a blessing on this too,
because again, like you've been like there through all of it,
and like I remember calling you and just like bawling,
and you were just like like you were so you
sent me you know, podcast listen to and you just
(08:10):
became like such a good friend. And I just to
be here and then feel supported and like you're always
trying to make me laugh. I mean it's just and
then G two, you're not trying to you naturally You're like,
I'm naturally funny. No, I'm not. I'm just talked too much.
You'll find some laughter in there somewhere. But it's just
it's it's been really nice and I just I love um.
(08:33):
But Janna, it's also really impressive that you're doing this
movie and you've I mean, you're so strong, it's very
it is amazing. Like I woke up today after we're
working until five am, and I was like, oh man,
you know, I've got maybe two things on my plate today.
Maybe one of them was trying to get a workout,
(08:54):
and that was getting to Starbucks and that was it.
So one check one and you're like, I've already been
up with kids. It's have you ready from my podcast?
You know, you just sign your papers the other day
to like, you know, seal the deal in your divorce.
I mean, all of this stuff that you deal with
is amazing and are very graceful. Yeah, that's what. Yeah,
I mean I had a little cry fast on set,
(09:15):
but you know, you guys were there to you have
to feel the feelings otherwise it just feels like a
normal day. That's true, but you have to go through
to be stronger on the other side, Could I just say,
though the podcast, Jamma is much nicer to me. What
are you talking about? People are gonna think I'm no
like you said on My Stories yesterday. There's a there's
(09:37):
a before Midnight Jannat and there's an after Midnightianna. And
they're two very different people, very different, but they're very
different because I've seen after Midnigiana like nooning. It's okay,
it's just hanger. There's a angry gry. But I will
say this, but I will say this that all you
(10:00):
of to to do to accomplish what you accomplished in
a day, you know, at some point you got to
crack the whip a little bit. I mean, I think
it's one of those things where, yeah, because there's so
much like I am, like trying to do so many
different things, and yeah, when I don't have food in
my system, you might get a little That's okay, you
know what, I get the same one here to hand
(10:21):
me a banana. Um, but let's take a break and
then let's get Marian. Hey Maria, Hi, Hi honey, So
(10:42):
we missed you last night on the on the on
the night from my back. Okay, so let's just talk
about how you got on this film, because Ryan had
a really big part in. Um in basically begging you
to be a part of this, for it for well,
no for me. Maria and I have known each other
(11:05):
for a long time and we just keep pumping into
each other at events and parties and and um, I
just love seeing her. I threw a touchdown pass. I
want to say, you might have thrown me a two
point conversion or the other way around at a at
a football event. And um, we bumped into each other
at a Christmas party two years ago and we just
started talking about her and Kevin's love for Christmas movies
(11:28):
and I said, you'd be perfect in one. I like,
why are you not starring in a Christmas movie? And
She's like, well, I just again another overachiever. Maria always
has so much on her plate. She's like, I haven't
really gotten into that yet. And I always kept on
in the back of my head. And then, um, after
Maria's mom passed and I actually had some time to, um,
(11:48):
sit down and write an email to her and just
share with her my my sympathies. Um, she just said, hey,
you know now that things are slowing down a little bit,
I might be interested in Reva sitting that conversation and
let me know if you and Jenna have any roles available.
And I said, well, I know you're not going to
take this role because you know, I thought that in
(12:10):
my mind Maria was going to be the star of
one of these movies out of the Gates. And she said,
I'd be happy to do one of the you know,
play your sister. And it is a it's a really
great role, it's big. But we just didn't, you know, know,
if you'd want to play my sister. And she said yes,
and then we're off and running. And do I miss anything? Really?
(12:30):
I'm sure I missed a ton of little important beat
your better storyteller than I am. No, you got it.
I mean it was funny because things, you know, always
line up for a reason, I think, And so um
when Ryan sent me this beautiful letter, I made a
little documentary about my parents journey through COVID. Both of
them got COVID at Thanksgiving time and both were in
(12:53):
separate hospitals. It was a brutal experience. I documented the
whole process and then I realized I have all this
footage because I talked, meant everything, Um, let me put
it together. So I put it together. It's called Mom Dad,
COVID and me. It's on YouTube right now. And Ryan
had seen it and send of this beautiful letter, very thoughtful,
long letter about his feelings about it, and I said, wow.
(13:16):
I actually had to read it a couple of times
before I could respond because it was so kind and
so thoughtful. Um. And we're going back and forth East time.
He's doing this Christmas movie and boom, all of a sudden,
I am now your best friend. Janna and Ryan's sister,
and were grateful because I have wanted to get into
(13:38):
this space. I love Christmas. We watch these movies Kevin
and I every year. We have so much fun. You know,
regardless of whatever is going on around us, we still
try to capture that spirit and these movies really help
with that. So we had been talking about this for
years to you know, get together and I don't know,
write something or do something. And um, it's getting very
(14:01):
hot by the way, bring just your bathing suits, um.
And and so yeah, it was just like a perfect opportunity.
And what was great was I needed to be back
here with my dad. My mom just passed a little
over two months ago now, and it was a great
way to be back here with him, getting to stay
(14:22):
here while I'm working with you guys. And I don't
even think it's work. It's literally just fun. I show
up for a few hours and play with you guys,
and and uh and that's that. So thank you guys
for having me, because um, it was it was all
meant to be. Well, Maria. I mean, you have like
your energy and you're just like overall just like when
(14:43):
you walk into a room, like you just you light
up and you're just and you know, you just said
that your mom. You know, we obviously know the story,
but she just passed and you still walk with such
like I'm just curious, like how how do you still
bring that infectious energy and that happiness and like how
(15:05):
you got there? Because it it's beautiful to see, but
it's like, man, it's like I don't I I just um,
I really look up to a lot of how you
carry yourself. Thank you, well, now you've got me crying.
Um My mom was always like that. My mom smiled
through getting diagnosed, my mom smiled through surgery, my mom
(15:25):
smiled through everything. So I feel like in this journey,
watching all the different stages of life with her, I
realized how so much about myself through her. And towards
the end, I was like she told me, she like,
if something happens to me, I want you to always
keep smiling. And so I just try. It's it's natural.
(15:47):
It's not like I'm trying. But you know, I just
know we have to put one ft in front of
the other and you just got to keep on going
and you have to trust that everything is happening or
owned you for your highest good, And this movie was
from my highest good. I got to be with great
people at a really difficult time, and you guys help
because you guys have great spirit and great energy. You're
(16:10):
going through so much and you're making me so impressed
with how you're handling it with kids and everything, and
so we all just do our best. Um. But you
know you can't wallow in it. You know, that's the thing,
is like life is going to happen to all of us,
so you always have to keep it in perspective. There
(16:32):
are so many people who have it worse. Um, And
without negating your own feelings, because that's a problem that
I think a lot of us, you know, a trap
we can all fall into as well, someone else has
it worse. So I don't deserve my feelings. No, we
deserve our feelings. Um, But it helps to have a
little perspective. Like I had my mom for sixty she
(16:52):
was sixty six, Yes she was young, but I had
her for forty three years. Some kids don't have their
mom passed, you know, a young age. So we just
do what we gotta do. But thank you, that's very kind.
I was gonna I was gonna say that, you know,
I didn't fully appreciate doing these movies until you hear
(17:14):
stories about Um. You know, people put them on at
Christmas time because Christmas can be a really Holidays can
be very hard for people, and they want to turn
to something with hope and you know, a little bit
of laughter and lightness. And the more we do them,
the more, you know, I appreciate it. But then to
(17:34):
actually film one with both of you when you've just
been through your own life challenges and are still going
through them, I feel like it's even hits home more
than ever about how important you know this type of experiences. Yeah,
I mean I know this Christmas we have something to
(17:55):
look forward to, and I definitely have thought about it.
I'm like, oh gosh, this, Chris. This might be tough
because it'll be our first without her, But we have
this and this will be fun and we'll laugh and
we'll have a screening party and I'll make cupcakes and
cocktails and make it a whole thing. So yeah, entertainment
is what makes the world go around. And I remember
when my mom was having surgery, brain surgery. I remember
(18:19):
how much we needed uplifting content at that time and
how much we relied on it in the hospital. And
you know all the work I've done at the children's
hospitals and the termin awards, you know that their life
is in that room, and they're lucky if they have
a view of a window to see the outside world.
That is their world is just how do we survive today?
(18:41):
And the way they survived today is by watching something
like this that's gonna make them smile and forget what's
going on just for that two hour period. Its beautiful. Man.
It's like we're all just we all have our you know,
we're all broken, we all have our struggles, we all
have our are things that were you know, working on
(19:02):
and I just I love how Maria, especially in this season,
that we're both in that we're able to you know,
have something like this to uplift us and to be
like wow, like you know this is this is good,
you know, like there's there's goodness in in some of
the broken, you know, and we got to lift each other.
And can I just go back real quick too that
I just love that Kevin watches your husband Kevin because
(19:27):
he's such a guy's guy. You know, he's such a dude,
and I love that he's into it and I love
his part. I'm not going to spoil it here, but
I love his part so much in this movie and
how it's evolved to what it is. Oh yeah, he's
so funny. Everyone has that to look forward when like, yeah,
roll Kevin's in the car, You're like, no, no, just
(19:50):
just the one line. I'm already having a heart attack.
The one line. It's like, I'm not like you. I
think it's I think it's this is all just a
to full and it's like again kind of to the
point where I was saying, it's like, you know, when
you walk into your room, you were just so happy,
and it's it's like everything that you've been through and
you know currently what I'm dealing with. I'm like, wow,
(20:11):
like you make me want to be like happier and
and to just be like okay, like it's all going
to be okay. And it's like and you look at
and you don't know what people's inner struggles are. It's
like and I don't you know, I just asked if
it was okay for me to bring this up. But
it's like, you know, Gigi is so funny on stories
and she's hilarious, and it's like no one would know that,
Like her inner story is like her dad has Alzheimer's Alzheimer's. Yeah,
(20:35):
it's actually frontal temporal dementia, but Alzheimer's is like the
umbrella term. So it's like, you know she's dealing with that.
It's like you just never know like what people are,
like are you dealing with? So it's always just like
lead with love, lead with kindness, and and all it
is our hard Last year was the first Christmas without
dad home and being in the nursing home. We had
to move them into assisted living unfortunately, but actually fortunately
(20:57):
that we got to do that before COVID because taking
care of your parents at nineteen years old, and my
younger sister's um who are eighteen and fifteen, that that
really really changes your perspective on a lot of things.
And I actually to add some humor, unfortunately into this,
(21:18):
I broke into the nursing home last Christmas. So so
I was like, you know what, Um, I have to
see my dad. It's Christmas and we had been at home,
and you know, my mom, bless our heart, was trying
(21:40):
to make it like a good Christmas for all of
us whatever. But also, assisted living is really really expensive,
so our financial situation was not It just wasn't good.
But it was a great Christmas because of how happy
my mom was trying to make it and seeing her
hold herself together so well and just be just embodied
(22:01):
something so strong and beautiful was really inspiring. Um, inspiring
enough to go break into my dad's nursing So I um,
it was like nice, Donna, Donna, that's all. I mean.
He's broken into this place a few times because we
keep forgetting our key. It's so funny. I crawled around
(22:22):
the back patio and hop the fence and then we
don't tell other people whatever, So I, um, yeah, I'm
at the front door, and um, it's locked and it's
a sliding door, so um. I tried calling them and
no one answered, and then I was banging on the
door and still no one came. So I just and
(22:45):
then I saw someone sitting at the front desk and
I looked at them and I was like, did you
not hear me knocking? And they were like, you're not
allowed in here? And I was like I don't care
and they were like okay, And I was like, um,
can I see my dad? And they're like no. And
I was like, well, can you bring him down here?
And they're like no. And I was like, bring my
father down here right now. And I brought him some
(23:11):
gifts and whatever because my sisters couldn't go. They were
just like whatever, you know, way too overwhelmed for the
first Christmas. And you know, I gave him p JS
and a bottle of wine and Dad tried to drink
the entire bottle right there. It was so sweet. It
was really funny. But it's just, you know, it's kind
of memories like that that. Yeah, it's a sad situation,
(23:35):
but you know what, it has brought me to a
place today where I'm stronger and more confident in myself
than I ever have been in my life. And watching
you and you Maria, um like you were wearing those
cute jeans and that white crop top and you walked
in and you were like, where I'm here, and like
(23:58):
that is so inspired because you know, I didn't know
your story. You didn't know mine, Janet. I think you
just not totally just found out, but you know, and
everyone has their own broken pieces, and you could be
going through the hardest thing in your life and I
could be going through the hardest thing in my life,
and they're just so incomparable, you know, like you know,
(24:20):
you're connected sale through like you know they might be
they might be different, but the same, you know. Yeah,
and then we all come out stronger, more beautiful, and
more united in the end. And I think that's what
really builds great friendships between all ages. It does and
g g it gives you such it's so crazy, but
it gives you such a crazy advantage at such a
(24:42):
young age to have an empathy level that you will
now carry into your future with everyone around you, because
you know, it's hard with you know, social media. Now
everyone's just like like like like like like there's such
a disconnection with feeling I think out there and I
think that you know, you're going to carry yourself so
(25:03):
much differently than maybe some of your friends, and you'll
be able to keep them during this whole experience. Um.
I deleted Snapchat because thinking about the time, not that
I could have spent with my dad, but the time
I did spend with my dad, I just wish that
we didn't even have phones because I wanted to live
(25:24):
in that moment and I could live in that one
moment forever. Um. I deleted Snapchat about six months ago,
and it was the best thing I ever did for myself, because, hey,
you're not constantly looking into a mirror, fixing your hair,
looking at your eye grows, You're like everything and putting
(25:44):
on makeup just to snapchat someone. It's ridiculous. And now
that I don't have it, when I look in the mirror,
I'm like, girl, get her own podcast. I know, I
love it over sure for her for her generation. Absolutely, Maria,
You're you're really close with with Tony because Ryan Tony
(26:07):
Robbins and you know, what's what's one thing that like
he's really um helped you with or has inspired you
or like something that you take from his from his
words and his whole message. Well, I will say that
when you said season earlier, it's funny, like Kevin and
I kind of will crack a joke here there. We're like, whoa,
(26:28):
We're in a real rainy season. There's like spots of
sun here and there, and we are very grateful for
those moments. But if I hadn't done the work with
Tony before winter kind of hit in my life, I
would not have been able to handle it the way
I did. And so going to those seminars, reading his books,
not only did I prepare myself financially with his financial books, um,
(26:51):
but I prepared myself, you know, emotionally and mentally with
tools that didn't exist before. And so you know, your
thrust into kind of this world and you grab whatever
you can tool wise. But you know, there's so many
that we're missing from my kid that I acquired there.
And the biggest one that I talked about on my
show and across the board is life is happening for you,
(27:16):
not to you, And if you can use that tool. Now,
there have been moments when I hear someone's story and
I'm like, yeah, I don't think I can figure this
one out. I don't know how I apply this tool here.
It it's definitely a tool. But I always say, if
I could figure out how to make two brain tumors
(27:40):
before us, not to us, then it's pretty applicable for
the most part. Um. I know there are a lot
of variables, but UM, that has helped me through every
single moment. So I'm like, how something will hit? How
is this happening for us not to us? Um? And
you know, even the saddest stuff, UM, I just you know,
(28:03):
I use that tool. And there's so many more like
motion equals emotion, right, so if I'm sad, I go
out and move. Um. And if UM, you know there
are there are different things like that. Motion equals emotion
and focus equals feeling is another really good one. So
where we're focusing is what we're going to feel. So
if you know that focus on something good, on something positive. Right, Again,
(28:27):
it doesn't mean denying what's going on. It means you're
shifting because you're choosing. You have a choice on how
you want to live. You know, it's a crazy life
that we have, and I think that we have a
lot more choices than we um then we remember sometimes
and so you know, for me, I love learning and
I love growing and that's just my my greatest quest
(28:49):
I think in this world is to keep on learning
and keep growing. And that's why I turned my podcast
into a daily experience where I'm bringing in the best
of the best healers and experts and gurus to help
me learn more. I'm like, Okay, I want to learn
as much as I humanly can. I want to apply
as much of this and build these new muscles so
(29:10):
that when life hits, I can handle it. And so far,
life's hit a few times pretty hard, and I'm able
to get back up. And you know, whether it's Tony's
teachings or even like a movie like Rocky Rocky Balboa,
it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how
hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how
(29:31):
much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how
winning is done. Maria, I have an important question for you.
Have you ever considered being a therapist podcast? Which is uh,
if you guys listening her podcast, listen, make sure you
listen to Better Together because it's a it's an incredible
(29:52):
podcast as well, I want to say something. There are
a lot of better togethers now since I started, So
it's better together with Miriam and you knows I'm on
Apple podcasts and YouTube and Spotify. But g G, I'll
tell you something really funny. I just kind of realized
that I could be one recently because my best friend
who's just a couple of years behind me in this business.
(30:15):
I will give him advice and then you know, he'll
catch up to it and he'll apply it. But he
has a therapist and he started to realize everything I say,
the therapist says, and I go, well, I'm keeper And
I was like, I actually took out of such a
good complim because I was like, WHOA, all right, that
means I'm leading my friend in the right ways and
I'm really grateful for that. But that's because every single
(30:37):
day on my show, you guys, I legit have the
best experts in the world, and that's just becoming like
through the process of osmosis. It's just in me now.
So yeah, osmosis. I go back to to what G
said earlier. One of the things I took away from
(30:58):
Tony's seminar, which it's very resilient to go to and
I'm glad I did. It was life changing. But it
was making a list of your values in your life,
like what you value and what and you just have
to do it as fast as you possibly can. Who
you know, who that is, what that is, And then
you make a separate list. And then he stops you
and makes you do a separate list of how you
(31:19):
spend your time every day, like each day and where
you put that time. And then I'll think about that
all the time, and I goes back to your snapchat conversation.
I got rid of like the paper because it was
given me anxiety all the bad news every day. I
stopped watching news period. Like I'll pick up articles and
(31:40):
I know what's going on in the world, but I
will not spend time in in. Social media can be
a very difficult thing. It could be used in the
way you wanted to be used, and if you're not
using it in a positive way, I'll catch myself and
I'll be like, why am I spending my time this
way right now? Instead of you know, bettering myself, We're
spending my you know, time with people I love or
(32:01):
care about, are checking in with them and seeing, you know,
and where you get something from it, you know, something
where you put your energy at it and it comes back. Yeah,
or even Tony. The other thing Tony toattus, which is
really cool for you guys too is And this one
I loved is write a list of everything that gives
(32:22):
you joy that you can access happiness at any moment
for free. So a lot of us think about like, oh,
if I go on this expensive vacation, I'm gonna feel happy.
If I go to Disney World, I'm gonna be happy. Well,
that's not always successible, and life hits like all day long,
all week long, all year long. You can't be at
Disney every day. So I made this list of what
made me happy that was easily accessible, and I kept
(32:45):
it on my fridge for a really long time, and
it helped me so that every time I knew I
was sad, I knew I could move. Movement gave me like,
you know, indoor fens and stuff. I love roses, So
I go walk through the neighborhood where all the old
homes that of old rose bushes that still smell because
new roses don't smell anymore. And then I go on
the sniffing tour and I'm like the psycho in the
(33:06):
neighborhood sniffing all my neighbor roses. Guys, she's just breaking
into the nursing comes and you're breaking into the um.
You know. Playing with my dogs gives me such joy
watching a sunset, so I was like, okay, here are
the things. And again you start to build that muscle.
So when you know you're sad, you can either wallow
in it. And sometimes there are certain times where I
(33:28):
think wallowed for a little bit because you need to
let it out. And then there are the times where
are like, Okay, what's gonna give me joy right now? Oh,
I can go do this very quickly and shift my energy.
Shifting is such an important tool to be able to
keep moving forward in life and keeping this sure. Well. Maria,
thank you so much for coming on, and just thank
you for you know, bringing so much joy and happiness
(33:51):
and your spirit to set because it would would not
be the same without you. Um. And we'll see you
in about an hour to go jump in that pool.
I love you, guys. Yes, the cool of weights. I'm
barbecuing burgers. We have a fresh salade from the garden
way over there. Uh goodness, and so yeah, I await
you all. Okay, well, we can't wait to see you.
(34:12):
And Maria just thank you again for just um just
being you and bringing your light and sharing that with
all of us. Thank you for it. Free therapy and
any time. Okay, bye girl. By guys, how are you doing? Hillary?
(34:40):
I have not talked to you in a little bit.
I'm doing really well. How are you doing. I'm good.
I mean I'm on I'm on set with UH with
my sister, my co star UM, and you know, we
we started talking about UM just kind of like stress
and UM. It's interesting because I feel like a lot
(35:03):
of people are stressing out right now about the new
variant and I gotta tell you, it's been. It's been.
I think I'm scared about the kids. I got an
I got an email from you know it was you
really starting kindergarten this year, and they were saying, like
mass have to come back, and I'm just like, all
of a sudden, I just felt this immediate like just wait.
I was like no, like what, like is this is
(35:25):
this really happening again? And like I know people are
still wearing masks in some places, but like, you know,
just the like Okay, I've got vaccinated. Are you vaccinated? Vaccinated? Yeah?
So it's like but then you know, um, I've had
a friend who has been vaccinated and she got COVID
and she was still really sick. So I'm like, is
this just like the flu? And we should be you know,
(35:46):
obviously maybe hopefully will be okay, But I don't know.
I'm just like stressed that, like, are we gonna get
locked down again? Is it going to be? You know,
what's help help us? It's so hard, right, I mean,
it's sort of just triggers this whole anxiety. So I goal,
it's almost like post traumatic stress. Right. We just went
through this whole thing, and then the possibility of having
to do it again, it's almost impossible not to feel
(36:08):
that way. I mean, I don't know the answer. Given
that I'm not a medical doctor, it seems possible that
we might have a light version of lockdown and restriction,
but from a mental health standpoint, and I was thinking
about having this conversation with you, and I was thinking
about how I'm sure some of the edicts that you've
adopted over the last months are that you sort of
(36:30):
have to go through the tricky feelings you know, to
get to the other side, and that if you try
to like avoid it or minimize it or suppressed it,
you get in trouble, you get like other symptoms. So
I think this is another one of those things that
it's okay to feel stressed about it, it's okay to
feel anxious about it, and even some brief about it.
That the thought that there's gonna be any limitations, especially
with our kids. And I know that's not like the
(36:52):
most fun message, but I think it's the one based
in the greatest reality, Like this is this is hard. Uh.
A league's friends, family members of ours are getting sick
even vaccinated, And I too, I have little kids, to
have a three and a six year old, and the
idea of them being back in an environment where there's
restrictions makes me hurt. Hurt, yeah, because like I don't
I don't want that for you know, for for her.
(37:14):
I don't want to have to like, you know, I
don't know, like wear a mask. So I was just like,
that's not like and I don't want them to block them,
Like is that going to cause issues for her to feel?
I mean, I see the issues that it's caused my son,
like when he was in you know, lockdown the last year.
It's like, now he's so anxious every time we leave home.
So he's always at home, home, home and likes my
heart because I'm like, that has to be from like,
(37:36):
because he just felt so secure at home and now
you know, we're doing things and it's like he has
anxiety about it. I've been hearing this so often from
families about kids feeling anxiety around social situations, leaving the home,
you know, sort of interacting with other people. So normal
given what we've been through, And I've been talking a
(37:56):
lot about what to do in the phase of that,
and I think it's so critical to sort of embrace
our kids feelings in those moments. Of course, they're super
triggering for us. We don't want our kids to feel
that way. We want our kids to feel like easy
and chill and resilient and like flexible, and when we
see that they're not, it's super triggering for us, or like,
what's wrong with them? What's wrong with me? What's going
to happen? What does this mean long term? What are
(38:17):
they going to look like in five years, ten years,
twenty years, And looks like we start catastrophizing. But my
big thing is to like lean into the feeling and
in that kind of situation, like with Jay's, to like
help him learn how to wait for like his ready feeling.
And I know there's some logistics that you can't get around,
like if you have to get to set, you have
to get set right, you got to leave the house right.
But if there's some circumstances in which there's some flexibility
(38:40):
sort of really leaning in and being like, oh, buddy,
I hear you. You're not feeling ready to leave the house.
I get it. It's been so comfy, cozy being at
home and it's tricky to leave the house now. Makes
so much sense that you feel that way, And if
you do have flexibility to sort of be like you'll
you'll know when your body is ready. Why don't we
wait for your ready feeling? You let me know sort
of thing. The more we lean in, the more they
(39:01):
can clean out. When we try to like talk them
out o their feelings or resist resist it, um, they
feel alone and scared and sort of isolated with the feeling,
like why can't I just push it away? What is
the big deal? We're just going to the grocery store right,
and so really leaning in makes such a big difference
of our kids, and I would argue shortens the like
(39:22):
intensity and duration of the anxious state. I have a question, um,
you know the way the algorithms work now when you
search anything up, like you know how how effective the
vaccine is or if the vaccine can hurt you or
your children, it feels like every site will feed you
(39:44):
more of those articles that may not be you know,
the overall. It may be a very small statistic, but
you're gonna see it all the time in your face.
You know, the every article that you know somebody who
got the vaccine and now you know has some sort
of complication will be popping up in your feed. My
question is do you give advice on how to manage that?
(40:08):
I mean not technically speaking but on the internet side,
but but how to like opt out of that and
to find real information or something that can soothe your
anxiety as an overall or a place to go to
calm yourself. That's what makes everything feel so suffocating. It's
like everywhere you go, that's the topic. That's what's posted everywhere.
(40:31):
And I think it's good to talk about it and
you know, weed out what to do and what not
to do. And I think it's probably a lot of
the misinformation is also probably why people aren't getting the vaccine,
and this is becoming such a much bigger problem. So
so I guess like, yeah, what's the to feel? Um?
To feel not? So? How when you're looking at something?
(40:54):
How do you not feel immediate anxiety just wave over you? Yeah,
so I started to answers to that. I think like
the more practical response to that is to step out
of the social media context exclusively and to find more
objective sources of data, like the economists or the Washington Post. Right.
(41:14):
We really have to do that quite deliberately, you know
that we're not just listening like seeing that, we're not
just listening to Fox and tend to be you know,
biased on one side, but really actively seeking out information
like empirical studies that are out there and objective data points.
It's critical and so hard to do to kind of
pull ourselves from the um cycle of like Instagram, Facebook
(41:36):
news that feels really um compelling and hard to step
out of. Right, there's like a way in which it's
just addictive and it's fear and consumption like they want you.
The more afraid you are, the more you're gonna look,
and they'll feed you as much as possible, and it
increases anxiety, and it's a cycle. Like you said, that's right,
(41:57):
So you really have to actively adopt a sense of
agency that you're going to take this on yourself, which
is really hard to do when you're talking about something
that so such an addictive cycle. But if people are
listening and thinking about it, to really like literally step
away physically and make it a point, make it a
mission that that like, this is my narrative, this is
my journey, is my set of decisions, and like where
(42:17):
can I seek arguably more objective data points to arm
myself with information and make decisions? And how would be
really deliberate about that social media piece. So there's like
a way in which it feels like it's like, um,
like your your favorite worst feeling, you know what I mean,
you like digest It's like it's like it's like terrible
pla ben a you can't step away kind of thing,
(42:39):
but really forcing yourself to step away from that cycle
and um, both you got that information I was talking about,
but take like a respite from some from being in
that environment which feels so heightened and feels so like, um,
you know, there's sort of a claustrophobic field away. Yeah
that's true. Um, I have so many other questions, but
(43:00):
I don't think I'm ready to get on that side
of it yet. Um So can I have you back
on in like a few weeks? Yes, of course? Okay, perfect? Um,
I thank you for for coming on and just um
uh answering a few of those and um, what what's
the best thing just to kind of leave people with
when they're starting to feel uneasy in anything that they're
(43:23):
dealing with, whether divorced or you know, perfect, ye, you're like.
The message is always around the notion that suppression leads
to pain, and so if we suppressed, ignor just miss
avoid our feelings, it always sends up showing up as
(43:44):
symptoms irritability, you know, difficult sleeping, anxiety, depression, etcetera. It
will come up some other ways. So whether we're getting
messages from other people to like you got this doesn't
hurt you, will make you stronger, or like, you know,
the idea that like you should be over you should
be moving on from ourselves that like I shouldn't feel
this way. It is so critical to like carve out
(44:05):
space to allow those feelings to come up and out
in a safe environment, and that might include you know,
our friends or family members or professional resources like myself
for sure. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you,
and I'll talk to you a weeks. Thank you all right,
thank you love well, guys, I appreciate you coming on
(44:27):
the show. Do you guys have fun? You like to
tell stories? Ryan? You know so quiet? I was during this.
It was actually like, you know how you like me
as this version? I like you as this I was like,
whatever you do? You're on with all these very strong women.
Don't trying man? Explain anything? Don't trying man? Why is
(44:52):
it a thing? Well, it's just guys like to give
their opinion about everything and you But here's here's my
question to that though. I just like, real quick now,
I'm like, now that we're there, okay, you want to
give your opinion. But also why do why do men
think that we just always want to be right? Because
I've gotten into a few things where women you did
(45:13):
your right? Yeah, well we usually are right. It's right.
It's ob girl, you know, are you telling me that
you think that I've heard before. It's like, do you
just want me to agree with you that someone says
it to me? And I'm like no, I'm like, I'm
just saying, like, this is just my point of view,
and I'm not trying to I'm really trying not to
push it on you. But this is just like I'm right, Well,
(45:35):
we're in this whole you know, Um, we're very much
more woke than we've ever been woke. Yeah, And so
you know, as far as you know, the shift from
the man I see, I'm not going to try and
many because I don't man playing away why men, Well,
(46:00):
I think it's just always been a thing where guys
will just share their opinion and just assume they're right,
because that's how it was for so many years in
the history of time. You know dramatic. No, I did not.
I'm just saying that they would go from there, man,
there books about this. Men are from Mars, women are
(46:22):
from Venus. Like you guys are too young for that,
remember that. But I remember that whole thing of like
trying to figure out how men communicate differently than women.
And I think it comes down to that of like
you know, we're hunters are we were hunters and women
were gatherers in a way, and there's probably some sort
of testosterone filled I want to say what this is
(46:45):
and move on to the next thing, and you know,
I would feel like women would want to explore more
of what does that mean and where we I like
to understand it. That's why it's like I was talking
to some I was like, help me understand that, because
I just like, because it helps, and that's like my
favorite is but like, you know, because I want to
understand it, you know what I mean. And I'm not
(47:06):
I'm really truly not trying to be right. I just
would like to understand also your point of view. It's
also like not trying to be sassy. It's just like, what, like,
help me understand you. You know. It's funny because I
studied communications in college and really I feel like yeah,
and I feel like, you know, one of my favorite
(47:29):
of courses I took was family communication, which also applies
to this. And the best listeners the only thing they
do is repeat back to you what you say. So
if you were to say something to me and I
just repeat it back to you, then you go yeah,
and you explain it more, and then you walk away going. Man,
Ryan's a really good conversationalist. You know, I love talking
(47:49):
to him. When all I did was just like, keep
you talking that, Well, men don't usually do that. Men
don't usually listen like that. Oh my gosh, you just
admitted that men don't listen like that. You know, like
that is that is something that like men usually just
go Okay, I'm going to say, what's happening. Women are
(48:09):
genuinely generally better? Absolutely, yeah, absolutely sure, just because there's yea,
because there's you guys, hear layers and then just hear
what's being set onions. All right, we're going to dissect
this onion another day. Um. I love you guys, Thanks
for coming on. Thank you for being just really a
(48:32):
blessing in my life. I love you, And thanks for
well yeah, thanks for letting me into your life and
mentoring me. And I've always wanted an older sister, so
that one. Thanks for choosing our project. Of course I was.
I was safer to work with you and oh my god,
we'd even talk about Chuck. But you're going to come
(48:53):
back on after we do. Can I come back? Yeah?
Of course? I mean this is the thing now we're
taking on the road. Started tour alright, guys, um chat
next week. Bye b
Wine Down with Janne Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast.
Hey guys, what's up. Welcome to Wine Down. Um. So
I am in Connecticut right now filming a movie, and UM,
I know a lot of stuff has recently hit the press,
and I honestly, I just want to have a fun
(00:24):
show today and not talk about that. Um probably when
I get back or um, yeah, I mean definitely I
want to process that. But I'm I'm still kind of
I'm still processing it all, and right now I'm excited
to just have a nice little distraction and be here.
(00:44):
I'm I've got gg with me today. Hello, and oh
look who just walked in extra caffee. That voice is,
of course, um, Ryan McPartland. So I am super excited
to have them on the show. And we're also going
to have Maria um zoom in with us. But it's
(01:06):
been really fun because I have I have gotten so
many messages about the both of you, So I'm like
super excited to just like I'm super excited to just like,
oh wow, okay, we're gonna address and I have some
people to, um, you know, ask you guys some questions
(01:28):
because so many people are very intrigued by both of you,
and I think the first one is for gig because
people are like, is she or nanny? Is she your sister?
Is she? Like? Who is she? What are you? Who
are you? And what are you? You know, honestly, it
depends on who you ask. If you ask Joanna, I
don't know. We're just I know it's kind of mysterious too,
(01:52):
but um, I don't really consider it nanny. I kind
of just hang out with the kids while Janna is
a way, but then we literally go and meet up
with Joanna. Yeah, so we hang out. And I will
say this, like, I of all the movie sets that
I've done and had the kids on, this has been
the best experience because you're just like, I mean, you
(02:12):
hang out with me all day on set, and then
you know, you're so good with the kids, and it's
so it's just I see them more than I've ever
seen that I'm on a movie set. Because if you
actually enjoy coming to set, I think, yeah, I do.
It's really fun. It's interesting because I've never even what's
something that like you realize like, oh wow, this is
how it works. Something that hasn't haven't hasn't seen a
(02:34):
movie set before. Um, I didn't realize how many people
were behind the camera and how many cameras there are.
I know that sounds like so basic and simple, but
like there's a lot of moving parts. I still haven't
figured it out. I mean, like, and then like, why
are they here? Were filming that one scene and we
(02:55):
had fake snow and whatever, and so I'm sure y'all
saw it on Joanna's Instagram story. They had tacked me
with fake snowballs, and Jason decided that he was going
to throw a snowball on what he's he's a script supervisor.
He's a script supervisor, and he's you know, really it's Darren.
It's a very important job, it is. And he was
(03:16):
like really focused and concentrated and whatever. So basically what
he does is he makes sure that Ryan is saying
the right line. It's a very hard job. He's not
always on top of it, but he's like super focused,
super concentrated. And Jay swarms up and throws a snowball
on his laptop, and this man death stares me and
(03:37):
it's like he's just in shock, and I'm in shock too,
and I start laughing and dying laughing, and I just
couldn't control it, and then he's like mad that I'm laughing,
and I'm like, I'm so sorry, and and just so
you know, because a lot of people are asking too
in the comments, like how you meet g actually met her?
She was care dot com. Oh they're not. She my
(04:02):
friend Pamela, who you guys have heard on the podcast before.
She um, she found gig And then I was like,
can I please take Gigi with me to film this
movie because I didn't know how long. Honestly, I was
going to have the kids up here. But it's just
going so well that Yeah, at first we were like,
we're not sure how long the Kauds they're gonna last,
but now they're they don't want to go. Um, Ryan,
(04:24):
So a lot of people are saying, um, is Ryan
your co star? Obviously, yes, Terro my co star. Is
he's single? Because well then they go on to say
this a few certain things, um, but a lot of
them said like they're just so happy that, like you know,
like you guys are so fun together and you laugh
and you have a good time. So let's just address
that you are very happily married. Go for it, married
(04:46):
going on nineteen years. I want to say, um, yeah,
but you're she is not my daughter, so uh yeah,
and no, I'm very glad that I could be here
during this time and you could have this experience, this
(05:08):
fun experience because we're laughing so much that, um, I
feel like there are no mistakes, right, So it's really
great that man, how how many months ago did we
start this process of putting it together? And yeah, it's
pretty cool. I mean, Ryan, Um, he's how long have
you had this idea for this movie? It's a couple
of years now. Jessica adding a writer, Jessica Cusaddding. She
(05:32):
and I just sat down in the room and said, hey,
we want to do get her writing a Christmas movie
because she's such a great writer. And um, we just
talked about the rom coms, the romances that we both
I'm kind of a sucker for her chick flicks, I've
gotta be honest. So we started talking about the Notebooks.
We don't know Alabama, I've read all of his books.
(05:55):
Nicholas Sparks. Yeah, did you feel like you're on the
Notebook set a little bit down by the lighthouse and
just gotten in a rowboat? It was crazy? Um, And
then so yeah, we started talking about those and then
what was the other one that I don't want to
give a story point away, so I'm not going to
mention this other movie. But there was a lot of
the a lot of things that we were talking about. Um,
(06:19):
we just started going what do we like about that?
We started pulling different um things and going, now, how
do we fit that into a Christmas movie? And then
it kind of organically took shape a treatment we pitched it,
and then um, when that treatment got into Jana's hands,
that's when the magic began. No, no, no, no, but no.
(06:40):
I mean I remember zooming with you know you and
Jess and the producers, and it's just and at the
time I was married, and um, we just you know,
we we started like this really awesome friendship and working friendship,
and yeah, it felt like we knew each other for
a long time. Just over our first zoom. It was like, yeah,
it was like an instant like kinship. Is that the Yeah,
just like just instant like you know, um friendship. And
(07:03):
it's just been so crazy because you've you've been on that.
There's so much that has happened since we started. And
that was like what six months ago, Yeah, probably less
than that because it was. It's been a journey, man,
It's been a real journey. Because I remember getting that
text from you saying that you were you're out of
commission for a little while for the notes calls and
stuff like that that we're talking about and why, and
(07:26):
I was like, man, you know, I just didn't even
know if this would go forward. I didn't know if
you'd have that the the bandwidth and being the headspace
to move forward with something, you know, a romance, a
Christmas romance with some comedic elements, and I thank god
you did because I feel like, you know, during this
time when everything came together, Um, you know, it's a
(07:50):
little bit I would like to call myself a blessing.
I mean like you you you, like you, M G
G both have been such a blessing on this too,
because again, like you've been like there through all of it,
and like I remember calling you and just like bawling,
and you were just like like you were so you
sent me you know, podcast listen to and you just
(08:10):
became like such a good friend. And I just to
be here and then feel supported and like you're always
trying to make me laugh. I mean it's just and
then G two, you're not trying to you naturally You're like,
I'm naturally funny. No, I'm not. I'm just talked too much.
You'll find some laughter in there somewhere. But it's just
it's it's been really nice and I just I love um.
(08:33):
But Janna, it's also really impressive that you're doing this
movie and you've I mean, you're so strong, it's very
it is amazing. Like I woke up today after we're
working until five am, and I was like, oh man,
you know, I've got maybe two things on my plate today.
Maybe one of them was trying to get a workout,
(08:54):
and that was getting to Starbucks and that was it.
So one check one and you're like, I've already been
up with kids. It's have you ready from my podcast?
You know, you just sign your papers the other day
to like, you know, seal the deal in your divorce.
I mean, all of this stuff that you deal with
is amazing and are very graceful. Yeah, that's what. Yeah,
I mean I had a little cry fast on set,
(09:15):
but you know, you guys were there to you have
to feel the feelings otherwise it just feels like a
normal day. That's true, but you have to go through
to be stronger on the other side, Could I just say,
though the podcast, Jamma is much nicer to me. What
are you talking about? People are gonna think I'm no
like you said on My Stories yesterday. There's a there's
(09:37):
a before Midnight Jannat and there's an after Midnightianna. And
they're two very different people, very different, but they're very
different because I've seen after Midnigiana like nooning. It's okay,
it's just hanger. There's a angry gry. But I will
say this, but I will say this that all you
(10:00):
of to to do to accomplish what you accomplished in
a day, you know, at some point you got to
crack the whip a little bit. I mean, I think
it's one of those things where, yeah, because there's so
much like I am, like trying to do so many
different things, and yeah, when I don't have food in
my system, you might get a little That's okay, you
know what, I get the same one here to hand
(10:21):
me a banana. Um, but let's take a break and
then let's get Marian. Hey Maria, Hi, Hi honey, So
(10:42):
we missed you last night on the on the on
the night from my back. Okay, so let's just talk
about how you got on this film, because Ryan had
a really big part in. Um in basically begging you
to be a part of this, for it for well,
no for me. Maria and I have known each other
(11:05):
for a long time and we just keep pumping into
each other at events and parties and and um, I
just love seeing her. I threw a touchdown pass. I
want to say, you might have thrown me a two
point conversion or the other way around at a at
a football event. And um, we bumped into each other
at a Christmas party two years ago and we just
started talking about her and Kevin's love for Christmas movies
(11:28):
and I said, you'd be perfect in one. I like,
why are you not starring in a Christmas movie? And
She's like, well, I just again another overachiever. Maria always
has so much on her plate. She's like, I haven't
really gotten into that yet. And I always kept on
in the back of my head. And then, um, after
Maria's mom passed and I actually had some time to, um,
(11:48):
sit down and write an email to her and just
share with her my my sympathies. Um, she just said, hey,
you know now that things are slowing down a little bit,
I might be interested in Reva sitting that conversation and
let me know if you and Jenna have any roles available.
And I said, well, I know you're not going to
take this role because you know, I thought that in
(12:10):
my mind Maria was going to be the star of
one of these movies out of the Gates. And she said,
I'd be happy to do one of the you know,
play your sister. And it is a it's a really
great role, it's big. But we just didn't, you know, know,
if you'd want to play my sister. And she said yes,
and then we're off and running. And do I miss anything? Really?
(12:30):
I'm sure I missed a ton of little important beat
your better storyteller than I am. No, you got it.
I mean it was funny because things, you know, always
line up for a reason, I think, And so um
when Ryan sent me this beautiful letter, I made a
little documentary about my parents journey through COVID. Both of
them got COVID at Thanksgiving time and both were in
(12:53):
separate hospitals. It was a brutal experience. I documented the
whole process and then I realized I have all this
footage because I talked, meant everything, Um, let me put
it together. So I put it together. It's called Mom Dad,
COVID and me. It's on YouTube right now. And Ryan
had seen it and send of this beautiful letter, very thoughtful,
long letter about his feelings about it, and I said, wow.
(13:16):
I actually had to read it a couple of times
before I could respond because it was so kind and
so thoughtful. Um. And we're going back and forth East time.
He's doing this Christmas movie and boom, all of a sudden,
I am now your best friend. Janna and Ryan's sister,
and were grateful because I have wanted to get into
(13:38):
this space. I love Christmas. We watch these movies Kevin
and I every year. We have so much fun. You know,
regardless of whatever is going on around us, we still
try to capture that spirit and these movies really help
with that. So we had been talking about this for
years to you know, get together and I don't know,
write something or do something. And um, it's getting very
(14:01):
hot by the way, bring just your bathing suits, um.
And and so yeah, it was just like a perfect opportunity.
And what was great was I needed to be back
here with my dad. My mom just passed a little
over two months ago now, and it was a great
way to be back here with him, getting to stay
(14:22):
here while I'm working with you guys. And I don't
even think it's work. It's literally just fun. I show
up for a few hours and play with you guys,
and and uh and that's that. So thank you guys
for having me, because um, it was it was all
meant to be. Well, Maria. I mean, you have like
your energy and you're just like overall just like when
(14:43):
you walk into a room, like you just you light
up and you're just and you know, you just said
that your mom. You know, we obviously know the story,
but she just passed and you still walk with such
like I'm just curious, like how how do you still
bring that infectious energy and that happiness and like how
(15:05):
you got there? Because it it's beautiful to see, but
it's like, man, it's like I don't I I just um,
I really look up to a lot of how you
carry yourself. Thank you, well, now you've got me crying.
Um My mom was always like that. My mom smiled
through getting diagnosed, my mom smiled through surgery, my mom
(15:25):
smiled through everything. So I feel like in this journey,
watching all the different stages of life with her, I
realized how so much about myself through her. And towards
the end, I was like she told me, she like,
if something happens to me, I want you to always
keep smiling. And so I just try. It's it's natural.
(15:47):
It's not like I'm trying. But you know, I just
know we have to put one ft in front of
the other and you just got to keep on going
and you have to trust that everything is happening or
owned you for your highest good, And this movie was
from my highest good. I got to be with great
people at a really difficult time, and you guys help
because you guys have great spirit and great energy. You're
(16:10):
going through so much and you're making me so impressed
with how you're handling it with kids and everything, and
so we all just do our best. Um. But you
know you can't wallow in it. You know, that's the thing,
is like life is going to happen to all of us,
so you always have to keep it in perspective. There
(16:32):
are so many people who have it worse. Um, And
without negating your own feelings, because that's a problem that
I think a lot of us, you know, a trap
we can all fall into as well, someone else has
it worse. So I don't deserve my feelings. No, we
deserve our feelings. Um, But it helps to have a
little perspective. Like I had my mom for sixty she
(16:52):
was sixty six, Yes she was young, but I had
her for forty three years. Some kids don't have their
mom passed, you know, a young age. So we just
do what we gotta do. But thank you, that's very kind.
I was gonna I was gonna say that, you know,
I didn't fully appreciate doing these movies until you hear
(17:14):
stories about Um. You know, people put them on at
Christmas time because Christmas can be a really Holidays can
be very hard for people, and they want to turn
to something with hope and you know, a little bit
of laughter and lightness. And the more we do them,
the more, you know, I appreciate it. But then to
(17:34):
actually film one with both of you when you've just
been through your own life challenges and are still going
through them, I feel like it's even hits home more
than ever about how important you know this type of experiences. Yeah,
I mean I know this Christmas we have something to
(17:55):
look forward to, and I definitely have thought about it.
I'm like, oh gosh, this, Chris. This might be tough
because it'll be our first without her, But we have
this and this will be fun and we'll laugh and
we'll have a screening party and I'll make cupcakes and
cocktails and make it a whole thing. So yeah, entertainment
is what makes the world go around. And I remember
when my mom was having surgery, brain surgery. I remember
(18:19):
how much we needed uplifting content at that time and
how much we relied on it in the hospital. And
you know all the work I've done at the children's
hospitals and the termin awards, you know that their life
is in that room, and they're lucky if they have
a view of a window to see the outside world.
That is their world is just how do we survive today?
(18:41):
And the way they survived today is by watching something
like this that's gonna make them smile and forget what's
going on just for that two hour period. Its beautiful. Man.
It's like we're all just we all have our you know,
we're all broken, we all have our struggles, we all
have our are things that were you know, working on
(19:02):
and I just I love how Maria, especially in this season,
that we're both in that we're able to you know,
have something like this to uplift us and to be
like wow, like you know this is this is good,
you know, like there's there's goodness in in some of
the broken, you know, and we got to lift each other.
And can I just go back real quick too that
I just love that Kevin watches your husband Kevin because
(19:27):
he's such a guy's guy. You know, he's such a dude,
and I love that he's into it and I love
his part. I'm not going to spoil it here, but
I love his part so much in this movie and
how it's evolved to what it is. Oh yeah, he's
so funny. Everyone has that to look forward when like, yeah,
roll Kevin's in the car, You're like, no, no, just
(19:50):
just the one line. I'm already having a heart attack.
The one line. It's like, I'm not like you. I
think it's I think it's this is all just a
to full and it's like again kind of to the
point where I was saying, it's like, you know, when
you walk into your room, you were just so happy,
and it's it's like everything that you've been through and
you know currently what I'm dealing with. I'm like, wow,
(20:11):
like you make me want to be like happier and
and to just be like okay, like it's all going
to be okay. And it's like and you look at
and you don't know what people's inner struggles are. It's
like and I don't you know, I just asked if
it was okay for me to bring this up. But
it's like, you know, Gigi is so funny on stories
and she's hilarious, and it's like no one would know that,
Like her inner story is like her dad has Alzheimer's Alzheimer's. Yeah,
(20:35):
it's actually frontal temporal dementia, but Alzheimer's is like the
umbrella term. So it's like, you know she's dealing with that.
It's like you just never know like what people are,
like are you dealing with? So it's always just like
lead with love, lead with kindness, and and all it
is our hard Last year was the first Christmas without
dad home and being in the nursing home. We had
to move them into assisted living unfortunately, but actually fortunately
(20:57):
that we got to do that before COVID because taking
care of your parents at nineteen years old, and my
younger sister's um who are eighteen and fifteen, that that
really really changes your perspective on a lot of things.
And I actually to add some humor, unfortunately into this,
(21:18):
I broke into the nursing home last Christmas. So so
I was like, you know what, Um, I have to
see my dad. It's Christmas and we had been at home,
and you know, my mom, bless our heart, was trying
(21:40):
to make it like a good Christmas for all of
us whatever. But also, assisted living is really really expensive,
so our financial situation was not It just wasn't good.
But it was a great Christmas because of how happy
my mom was trying to make it and seeing her
hold herself together so well and just be just embodied
(22:01):
something so strong and beautiful was really inspiring. Um, inspiring
enough to go break into my dad's nursing So I um,
it was like nice, Donna, Donna, that's all. I mean.
He's broken into this place a few times because we
keep forgetting our key. It's so funny. I crawled around
(22:22):
the back patio and hop the fence and then we
don't tell other people whatever, So I, um, yeah, I'm
at the front door, and um, it's locked and it's
a sliding door, so um. I tried calling them and
no one answered, and then I was banging on the
door and still no one came. So I just and
(22:45):
then I saw someone sitting at the front desk and
I looked at them and I was like, did you
not hear me knocking? And they were like, you're not
allowed in here? And I was like I don't care
and they were like okay, And I was like, um,
can I see my dad? And they're like no. And
I was like, well, can you bring him down here?
And they're like no. And I was like, bring my
father down here right now. And I brought him some
(23:11):
gifts and whatever because my sisters couldn't go. They were
just like whatever, you know, way too overwhelmed for the
first Christmas. And you know, I gave him p JS
and a bottle of wine and Dad tried to drink
the entire bottle right there. It was so sweet. It
was really funny. But it's just, you know, it's kind
of memories like that that. Yeah, it's a sad situation,
(23:35):
but you know what, it has brought me to a
place today where I'm stronger and more confident in myself
than I ever have been in my life. And watching
you and you Maria, um like you were wearing those
cute jeans and that white crop top and you walked
in and you were like, where I'm here, and like
(23:58):
that is so inspired because you know, I didn't know
your story. You didn't know mine, Janet. I think you
just not totally just found out, but you know, and
everyone has their own broken pieces, and you could be
going through the hardest thing in your life and I
could be going through the hardest thing in my life,
and they're just so incomparable, you know, like you know,
(24:20):
you're connected sale through like you know they might be
they might be different, but the same, you know. Yeah,
and then we all come out stronger, more beautiful, and
more united in the end. And I think that's what
really builds great friendships between all ages. It does and
g g it gives you such it's so crazy, but
it gives you such a crazy advantage at such a
(24:42):
young age to have an empathy level that you will
now carry into your future with everyone around you, because
you know, it's hard with you know, social media. Now
everyone's just like like like like like like there's such
a disconnection with feeling I think out there and I
think that you know, you're going to carry yourself so
(25:03):
much differently than maybe some of your friends, and you'll
be able to keep them during this whole experience. Um.
I deleted Snapchat because thinking about the time, not that
I could have spent with my dad, but the time
I did spend with my dad, I just wish that
we didn't even have phones because I wanted to live
(25:24):
in that moment and I could live in that one
moment forever. Um. I deleted Snapchat about six months ago,
and it was the best thing I ever did for myself, because, hey,
you're not constantly looking into a mirror, fixing your hair,
looking at your eye grows, You're like everything and putting
(25:44):
on makeup just to snapchat someone. It's ridiculous. And now
that I don't have it, when I look in the mirror,
I'm like, girl, get her own podcast. I know, I
love it over sure for her for her generation. Absolutely, Maria,
You're you're really close with with Tony because Ryan Tony
(26:07):
Robbins and you know, what's what's one thing that like
he's really um helped you with or has inspired you
or like something that you take from his from his
words and his whole message. Well, I will say that
when you said season earlier, it's funny, like Kevin and
I kind of will crack a joke here there. We're like, whoa,
(26:28):
We're in a real rainy season. There's like spots of
sun here and there, and we are very grateful for
those moments. But if I hadn't done the work with
Tony before winter kind of hit in my life, I
would not have been able to handle it the way
I did. And so going to those seminars, reading his books,
not only did I prepare myself financially with his financial books, um,
(26:51):
but I prepared myself, you know, emotionally and mentally with
tools that didn't exist before. And so you know, your
thrust into kind of this world and you grab whatever
you can tool wise. But you know, there's so many
that we're missing from my kid that I acquired there.
And the biggest one that I talked about on my
show and across the board is life is happening for you,
(27:16):
not to you, And if you can use that tool. Now,
there have been moments when I hear someone's story and
I'm like, yeah, I don't think I can figure this
one out. I don't know how I apply this tool here.
It it's definitely a tool. But I always say, if
I could figure out how to make two brain tumors
(27:40):
before us, not to us, then it's pretty applicable for
the most part. Um. I know there are a lot
of variables, but UM, that has helped me through every
single moment. So I'm like, how something will hit? How
is this happening for us not to us? Um? And
you know, even the saddest stuff, UM, I just you know,
(28:03):
I use that tool. And there's so many more like
motion equals emotion, right, so if I'm sad, I go
out and move. Um. And if UM, you know there
are there are different things like that. Motion equals emotion
and focus equals feeling is another really good one. So
where we're focusing is what we're going to feel. So
if you know that focus on something good, on something positive. Right, Again,
(28:27):
it doesn't mean denying what's going on. It means you're
shifting because you're choosing. You have a choice on how
you want to live. You know, it's a crazy life
that we have, and I think that we have a
lot more choices than we um then we remember sometimes
and so you know, for me, I love learning and
I love growing and that's just my my greatest quest
(28:49):
I think in this world is to keep on learning
and keep growing. And that's why I turned my podcast
into a daily experience where I'm bringing in the best
of the best healers and experts and gurus to help
me learn more. I'm like, Okay, I want to learn
as much as I humanly can. I want to apply
as much of this and build these new muscles so
(29:10):
that when life hits, I can handle it. And so far,
life's hit a few times pretty hard, and I'm able
to get back up. And you know, whether it's Tony's
teachings or even like a movie like Rocky Rocky Balboa,
it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how
hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how
(29:31):
much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how
winning is done. Maria, I have an important question for you.
Have you ever considered being a therapist podcast? Which is uh,
if you guys listening her podcast, listen, make sure you
listen to Better Together because it's a it's an incredible
(29:52):
podcast as well, I want to say something. There are
a lot of better togethers now since I started, So
it's better together with Miriam and you knows I'm on
Apple podcasts and YouTube and Spotify. But g G, I'll
tell you something really funny. I just kind of realized
that I could be one recently because my best friend
who's just a couple of years behind me in this business.
(30:15):
I will give him advice and then you know, he'll
catch up to it and he'll apply it. But he
has a therapist and he started to realize everything I say,
the therapist says, and I go, well, I'm keeper And
I was like, I actually took out of such a
good complim because I was like, WHOA, all right, that
means I'm leading my friend in the right ways and
I'm really grateful for that. But that's because every single
(30:37):
day on my show, you guys, I legit have the
best experts in the world, and that's just becoming like
through the process of osmosis. It's just in me now.
So yeah, osmosis. I go back to to what G
said earlier. One of the things I took away from
(30:58):
Tony's seminar, which it's very resilient to go to and
I'm glad I did. It was life changing. But it
was making a list of your values in your life,
like what you value and what and you just have
to do it as fast as you possibly can. Who
you know, who that is, what that is, And then
you make a separate list. And then he stops you
and makes you do a separate list of how you
(31:19):
spend your time every day, like each day and where
you put that time. And then I'll think about that
all the time, and I goes back to your snapchat conversation.
I got rid of like the paper because it was
given me anxiety all the bad news every day. I
stopped watching news period. Like I'll pick up articles and
(31:40):
I know what's going on in the world, but I
will not spend time in in. Social media can be
a very difficult thing. It could be used in the
way you wanted to be used, and if you're not
using it in a positive way, I'll catch myself and
I'll be like, why am I spending my time this
way right now? Instead of you know, bettering myself, We're
spending my you know, time with people I love or
(32:01):
care about, are checking in with them and seeing, you know,
and where you get something from it, you know, something
where you put your energy at it and it comes back. Yeah,
or even Tony. The other thing Tony toattus, which is
really cool for you guys too is And this one
I loved is write a list of everything that gives
(32:22):
you joy that you can access happiness at any moment
for free. So a lot of us think about like, oh,
if I go on this expensive vacation, I'm gonna feel happy.
If I go to Disney World, I'm gonna be happy. Well,
that's not always successible, and life hits like all day long,
all week long, all year long. You can't be at
Disney every day. So I made this list of what
made me happy that was easily accessible, and I kept
(32:45):
it on my fridge for a really long time, and
it helped me so that every time I knew I
was sad, I knew I could move. Movement gave me like,
you know, indoor fens and stuff. I love roses, So
I go walk through the neighborhood where all the old
homes that of old rose bushes that still smell because
new roses don't smell anymore. And then I go on
the sniffing tour and I'm like the psycho in the
(33:06):
neighborhood sniffing all my neighbor roses. Guys, she's just breaking
into the nursing comes and you're breaking into the um.
You know. Playing with my dogs gives me such joy
watching a sunset, so I was like, okay, here are
the things. And again you start to build that muscle.
So when you know you're sad, you can either wallow
in it. And sometimes there are certain times where I
(33:28):
think wallowed for a little bit because you need to
let it out. And then there are the times where
are like, Okay, what's gonna give me joy right now? Oh,
I can go do this very quickly and shift my energy.
Shifting is such an important tool to be able to
keep moving forward in life and keeping this sure. Well. Maria,
thank you so much for coming on, and just thank
you for you know, bringing so much joy and happiness
(33:51):
and your spirit to set because it would would not
be the same without you. Um. And we'll see you
in about an hour to go jump in that pool.
I love you, guys. Yes, the cool of weights. I'm
barbecuing burgers. We have a fresh salade from the garden
way over there. Uh goodness, and so yeah, I await
you all. Okay, well, we can't wait to see you.
(34:12):
And Maria just thank you again for just um just
being you and bringing your light and sharing that with
all of us. Thank you for it. Free therapy and
any time. Okay, bye girl. By guys, how are you doing? Hillary?
(34:40):
I have not talked to you in a little bit.
I'm doing really well. How are you doing. I'm good.
I mean I'm on I'm on set with UH with
my sister, my co star UM, and you know, we
we started talking about UM just kind of like stress
and UM. It's interesting because I feel like a lot
(35:03):
of people are stressing out right now about the new
variant and I gotta tell you, it's been. It's been.
I think I'm scared about the kids. I got an
I got an email from you know it was you
really starting kindergarten this year, and they were saying, like
mass have to come back, and I'm just like, all
of a sudden, I just felt this immediate like just wait.
I was like no, like what, like is this is
(35:25):
this really happening again? And like I know people are
still wearing masks in some places, but like, you know,
just the like Okay, I've got vaccinated. Are you vaccinated? Vaccinated? Yeah?
So it's like but then you know, um, I've had
a friend who has been vaccinated and she got COVID
and she was still really sick. So I'm like, is
this just like the flu? And we should be you know,
(35:46):
obviously maybe hopefully will be okay, But I don't know.
I'm just like stressed that, like, are we gonna get
locked down again? Is it going to be? You know,
what's help help us? It's so hard, right, I mean,
it's sort of just triggers this whole anxiety. So I goal,
it's almost like post traumatic stress. Right. We just went
through this whole thing, and then the possibility of having
to do it again, it's almost impossible not to feel
(36:08):
that way. I mean, I don't know the answer. Given
that I'm not a medical doctor, it seems possible that
we might have a light version of lockdown and restriction,
but from a mental health standpoint, and I was thinking
about having this conversation with you, and I was thinking
about how I'm sure some of the edicts that you've
adopted over the last months are that you sort of
(36:30):
have to go through the tricky feelings you know, to
get to the other side, and that if you try
to like avoid it or minimize it or suppressed it,
you get in trouble, you get like other symptoms. So
I think this is another one of those things that
it's okay to feel stressed about it, it's okay to
feel anxious about it, and even some brief about it.
That the thought that there's gonna be any limitations, especially
with our kids. And I know that's not like the
(36:52):
most fun message, but I think it's the one based
in the greatest reality, Like this is this is hard. Uh.
A league's friends, family members of ours are getting sick
even vaccinated, And I too, I have little kids, to
have a three and a six year old, and the
idea of them being back in an environment where there's
restrictions makes me hurt. Hurt, yeah, because like I don't
I don't want that for you know, for for her.
(37:14):
I don't want to have to like, you know, I
don't know, like wear a mask. So I was just like,
that's not like and I don't want them to block them,
Like is that going to cause issues for her to feel?
I mean, I see the issues that it's caused my son,
like when he was in you know, lockdown the last year.
It's like, now he's so anxious every time we leave home.
So he's always at home, home, home and likes my
heart because I'm like, that has to be from like,
(37:36):
because he just felt so secure at home and now
you know, we're doing things and it's like he has
anxiety about it. I've been hearing this so often from
families about kids feeling anxiety around social situations, leaving the home,
you know, sort of interacting with other people. So normal
given what we've been through, And I've been talking a
(37:56):
lot about what to do in the phase of that,
and I think it's so critical to sort of embrace
our kids feelings in those moments. Of course, they're super
triggering for us. We don't want our kids to feel
that way. We want our kids to feel like easy
and chill and resilient and like flexible, and when we
see that they're not, it's super triggering for us, or like,
what's wrong with them? What's wrong with me? What's going
to happen? What does this mean long term? What are
(38:17):
they going to look like in five years, ten years,
twenty years, And looks like we start catastrophizing. But my
big thing is to like lean into the feeling and
in that kind of situation, like with Jay's, to like
help him learn how to wait for like his ready feeling.
And I know there's some logistics that you can't get around,
like if you have to get to set, you have
to get set right, you got to leave the house right.
But if there's some circumstances in which there's some flexibility
(38:40):
sort of really leaning in and being like, oh, buddy,
I hear you. You're not feeling ready to leave the house.
I get it. It's been so comfy, cozy being at
home and it's tricky to leave the house now. Makes
so much sense that you feel that way, And if
you do have flexibility to sort of be like you'll
you'll know when your body is ready. Why don't we
wait for your ready feeling? You let me know sort
of thing. The more we lean in, the more they
(39:01):
can clean out. When we try to like talk them
out o their feelings or resist resist it, um, they
feel alone and scared and sort of isolated with the feeling,
like why can't I just push it away? What is
the big deal? We're just going to the grocery store right,
and so really leaning in makes such a big difference
of our kids, and I would argue shortens the like
(39:22):
intensity and duration of the anxious state. I have a question, um,
you know the way the algorithms work now when you
search anything up, like you know how how effective the
vaccine is or if the vaccine can hurt you or
your children, it feels like every site will feed you
(39:44):
more of those articles that may not be you know,
the overall. It may be a very small statistic, but
you're gonna see it all the time in your face.
You know, the every article that you know somebody who
got the vaccine and now you know has some sort
of complication will be popping up in your feed. My
question is do you give advice on how to manage that?
(40:08):
I mean not technically speaking but on the internet side,
but but how to like opt out of that and
to find real information or something that can soothe your
anxiety as an overall or a place to go to
calm yourself. That's what makes everything feel so suffocating. It's
like everywhere you go, that's the topic. That's what's posted everywhere.
(40:31):
And I think it's good to talk about it and
you know, weed out what to do and what not
to do. And I think it's probably a lot of
the misinformation is also probably why people aren't getting the vaccine,
and this is becoming such a much bigger problem. So
so I guess like, yeah, what's the to feel? Um?
To feel not? So? How when you're looking at something?
(40:54):
How do you not feel immediate anxiety just wave over you? Yeah,
so I started to answers to that. I think like
the more practical response to that is to step out
of the social media context exclusively and to find more
objective sources of data, like the economists or the Washington Post. Right.
(41:14):
We really have to do that quite deliberately, you know
that we're not just listening like seeing that, we're not
just listening to Fox and tend to be you know,
biased on one side, but really actively seeking out information
like empirical studies that are out there and objective data points.
It's critical and so hard to do to kind of
pull ourselves from the um cycle of like Instagram, Facebook
(41:36):
news that feels really um compelling and hard to step
out of. Right, there's like a way in which it's
just addictive and it's fear and consumption like they want you.
The more afraid you are, the more you're gonna look,
and they'll feed you as much as possible, and it
increases anxiety, and it's a cycle. Like you said, that's right,
(41:57):
So you really have to actively adopt a sense of
agency that you're going to take this on yourself, which
is really hard to do when you're talking about something
that so such an addictive cycle. But if people are
listening and thinking about it, to really like literally step
away physically and make it a point, make it a
mission that that like, this is my narrative, this is
my journey, is my set of decisions, and like where
(42:17):
can I seek arguably more objective data points to arm
myself with information and make decisions? And how would be
really deliberate about that social media piece. So there's like
a way in which it feels like it's like, um,
like your your favorite worst feeling, you know what I mean,
you like digest It's like it's like it's like terrible
pla ben a you can't step away kind of thing,
(42:39):
but really forcing yourself to step away from that cycle
and um, both you got that information I was talking about,
but take like a respite from some from being in
that environment which feels so heightened and feels so like, um,
you know, there's sort of a claustrophobic field away. Yeah
that's true. Um, I have so many other questions, but
(43:00):
I don't think I'm ready to get on that side
of it yet. Um So can I have you back
on in like a few weeks? Yes, of course? Okay, perfect? Um,
I thank you for for coming on and just um
uh answering a few of those and um, what what's
the best thing just to kind of leave people with
when they're starting to feel uneasy in anything that they're
(43:23):
dealing with, whether divorced or you know, perfect, ye, you're like.
The message is always around the notion that suppression leads
to pain, and so if we suppressed, ignor just miss
avoid our feelings, it always sends up showing up as
(43:44):
symptoms irritability, you know, difficult sleeping, anxiety, depression, etcetera. It
will come up some other ways. So whether we're getting
messages from other people to like you got this doesn't
hurt you, will make you stronger, or like, you know,
the idea that like you should be over you should
be moving on from ourselves that like I shouldn't feel
this way. It is so critical to like carve out
(44:05):
space to allow those feelings to come up and out
in a safe environment, and that might include you know,
our friends or family members or professional resources like myself
for sure. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you,
and I'll talk to you a weeks. Thank you all right,
thank you love well, guys, I appreciate you coming on
(44:27):
the show. Do you guys have fun? You like to
tell stories? Ryan? You know so quiet? I was during this.
It was actually like, you know how you like me
as this version? I like you as this I was like,
whatever you do? You're on with all these very strong women.
Don't trying man? Explain anything? Don't trying man? Why is
(44:52):
it a thing? Well, it's just guys like to give
their opinion about everything and you But here's here's my
question to that though. I just like, real quick now,
I'm like, now that we're there, okay, you want to
give your opinion. But also why do why do men
think that we just always want to be right? Because
I've gotten into a few things where women you did
(45:13):
your right? Yeah, well we usually are right. It's right.
It's ob girl, you know, are you telling me that
you think that I've heard before. It's like, do you
just want me to agree with you that someone says
it to me? And I'm like no, I'm like, I'm
just saying, like, this is just my point of view,
and I'm not trying to I'm really trying not to
push it on you. But this is just like I'm right, Well,
(45:35):
we're in this whole you know, Um, we're very much
more woke than we've ever been woke. Yeah, And so
you know, as far as you know, the shift from
the man I see, I'm not going to try and
many because I don't man playing away why men, Well,
(46:00):
I think it's just always been a thing where guys
will just share their opinion and just assume they're right,
because that's how it was for so many years in
the history of time. You know dramatic. No, I did not.
I'm just saying that they would go from there, man,
there books about this. Men are from Mars, women are
(46:22):
from Venus. Like you guys are too young for that,
remember that. But I remember that whole thing of like
trying to figure out how men communicate differently than women.
And I think it comes down to that of like
you know, we're hunters are we were hunters and women
were gatherers in a way, and there's probably some sort
of testosterone filled I want to say what this is
(46:45):
and move on to the next thing, and you know,
I would feel like women would want to explore more
of what does that mean and where we I like
to understand it. That's why it's like I was talking
to some I was like, help me understand that, because
I just like, because it helps, and that's like my
favorite is but like, you know, because I want to
understand it, you know what I mean. And I'm not
(47:06):
I'm really truly not trying to be right. I just
would like to understand also your point of view. It's
also like not trying to be sassy. It's just like, what, like,
help me understand you. You know. It's funny because I
studied communications in college and really I feel like yeah,
and I feel like, you know, one of my favorite
(47:29):
of courses I took was family communication, which also applies
to this. And the best listeners the only thing they
do is repeat back to you what you say. So
if you were to say something to me and I
just repeat it back to you, then you go yeah,
and you explain it more, and then you walk away going. Man,
Ryan's a really good conversationalist. You know, I love talking
(47:49):
to him. When all I did was just like, keep
you talking that, Well, men don't usually do that. Men
don't usually listen like that. Oh my gosh, you just
admitted that men don't listen like that. You know, like
that is that is something that like men usually just
go Okay, I'm going to say, what's happening. Women are
(48:09):
genuinely generally better? Absolutely, yeah, absolutely sure, just because there's yea,
because there's you guys, hear layers and then just hear
what's being set onions. All right, we're going to dissect
this onion another day. Um. I love you guys, Thanks
for coming on. Thank you for being just really a
(48:32):
blessing in my life. I love you, And thanks for
well yeah, thanks for letting me into your life and
mentoring me. And I've always wanted an older sister, so
that one. Thanks for choosing our project. Of course I was.
I was safer to work with you and oh my god,
we'd even talk about Chuck. But you're going to come
(48:53):
back on after we do. Can I come back? Yeah?
Of course? I mean this is the thing now we're
taking on the road. Started tour alright, guys, um chat
next week. Bye b
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