Clearing the Air

Do actors get too close for comfort?  Did Justin Timberlake get too friendly with his current co-star? Jana reveals what she thinks is appropriate when you’re acting alongside someone of the opposite sex.

Then Jana and Michael catch up with "Something Borrowed" author Emily Griffin and we learn what’s next in the story.

And should you break up with someone that won’t stand up for you? Would Mike get into a physical fight to defend Jana?

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Find Down and radio podcast. What Up, Sarah? What? I
just showed Mike the video? What video of Justin? And

(00:22):
I was about to talk about it and he should?
He goes, stop save it. I feel like we have
to make shirts that say save it because we save everything.
So real time is this? Is this like big news
right in the social media world right now? I feel
like they're trying to downplay it. Where is he at?
He was on location filming, sorry to catch everyone up,
justin Timberlake. There was a video of him and his

(00:44):
co star and some other random lady who dragged him out.
He was hammered. And I get and I've learned this
from Sarah because Sarah, you texted me and you're like,
did you see this Justin? Yeah? Okay, so continue what
what happened? It's just a video of him on the

(01:07):
balcony in New Orleans and he's like visibly visibly um
been overserved and he's getting a little comfy with not
his wife. My thing too, is like for what I'm
like watching it and he's you know, he's sitting back.

(01:27):
But if I were to have my hand like not
just on the tip of his kneecap or not my
husband's kneecap, not just it wasn't on the tip here,
it was like right past the kneecap, were getting close
of the hand, like if my hand was just chilling,
let's just bless his come up with the name, what
guy do we know? That's okay? Kevin McGarry, who we
love He's been my husband in a few movies. If

(01:50):
I was if you saw a video of me saying,
who we love Kevin, he's amazing, You're like, if you
saw me having a whole like holding his leg like that,
would you be okay with that video? I didn't see
her like have her No, video was just a snippet.
There are pictures of them holding hands under the table,
like there are pictures of them like interlocked hands like

(02:13):
um like this, you know, like a And here's the
thing that I'll say that I I hold hands, and
I've learned my lesson with that. But I have held
hands with people that weren't my partner, not what I'm
with you, not since you. But that's a lesson that
I've learned from me. I love to hold hands. Catherine,
who's listening to this, she knows I'm always trying to

(02:33):
hold her hands. I love holding hands. I think it's
fun and I would hold like I would I I
held Kevin's hand, I think, not like lan Set never mind,
let me trying to think. Um, I would hold like
my guitar players hands like maybe, but again it was wrong.
I'm saying it's wrong because it's just it's just wrong.
It's just weird, and like it's because of them are odd,

(02:55):
Like it's just odd. Well, and it's just because again
you're you're putting yourself in a situation of basically like, hey,
you're inviting the next step if there's a next step,
and listen. Yeah. The only thing I'll say, just from
watching the video again, I didn't see like the pictures
you're talking about, Sarah. Just from watching the video, I

(03:17):
can see it would holding my hand like that on
someone's leg. No. But what I'm saying is we've all
been not we all because Jane has never been drunk.
But like for example of this, look at right there
hanging like that, Okay, Janna showing me the picture right now,

(03:38):
I mean her forearms on his leg like her hands,
not like I'm not saying, I'm not saying I think.
I definitely think it's a little fishy. All I'm saying
is the fact that you can see him as physically impearance.
That's what. But just listen to me for a second.
We've had those moments, Sarah, myself in the US of

(04:00):
the world except for Jana, have at this moment where
you just a little too lushy, right, You're just kind
of like, hey, I love you, you know, like you
kind of put your hand on a on a girlfriend
or a guy friend. You just like he was the
best You're my best friend. I love you so much,
and just like a little overly affectionate. So I'm not
saying that that was happening in that video, but just

(04:22):
seeing how drunk he was. Who knows what was being said,
who knows the story, And all I'm saying is there's
a little bit of a room somewhere in there for
that that was most compta Kevin's hand at a bar.
Would you be upset, Well, that's just weird. But if
you think it's crossing a line. But if I saw,
if I came in, and I would be upset if
you were holding Sarah's hand and bar when I wasn't there,

(04:44):
I would holding my hand Okay, let me phrase this though.
If I watched him a bar and I saw you
and Kevin, and I saw Kevin like with his arm
around you, that's different. But I don't think that we're
not confirming if Jessica um his wife, even knows who
this girl is. So like you're you're you're saying like
I was one of my friends. I don't think this

(05:05):
woman is their friend. Let's just say it's a random
actor that i'm I'm acting with, and mostly pictures of
me holding his hand, you're not a chance. I'm mostly
I would mostly be concerned at how drunk he was
because that just did not look right. And that was
not assuming that Jessica doesn't know who she is. That's
all I'm saying. Okay, so I think, okay, So if
it was someone that you didn't know, you'd be upset.

(05:27):
If I was holding his hand or if I was
touching his leg like that, you'd be upset. But if
it's someone that we know, I'm allowed to do that
not that allowed to But again, I can understand how
how people are, just like like if you walked in
and I had my like, my arm around Sarah for
a second, like and I was like town or something
funny or whatever, and like that was it not like

(05:48):
we're sitting there and I like I have my arm
like around her back forge they said they they came
out today and said, oh they're like brother and sister.
I promise you Tay and a sister are not touching
each other like that. So that's it's just all odd,
Like it's just odd. Well, Jessica Bill has an air
tight Uh yeah, basically because I think there might have

(06:09):
been some cheating before, because I know in her marital stuff.
It's if if basically he cheats like she gets everything. Well,
let's not forget let's go back a couple of years.
I'm I could be wrong. I'll let me pull it
up on us weekly, but I'm pretty sure's I'm pretty
sure he cheated on Brittany and she cheated on him
as well, but she really got the brunt of it

(06:31):
because you know, that's just more fun to blame her.
And I'm pretty sure he cheated on Jessica before they
were married. So well, yeah, that was yeah, that's all
because they broke up I think because of it. I think,
and which adds again, you're putting yourself in a position,
and I think that's so like things that I've learned,
Like I know, I cannot read lines with an acting
person in the hotel room or go out one on.

(06:54):
It's just it's not healthy. It's not it doesn't it's
gonna end up bad in most certain most most. You know,
if Kevin came over again, it's different because I know him.
You you trust him, we know him together. But if
it's someone you know, I booked a movie with some
guy that we don't we both don't know, and all
of a sudden, I'm like, yeah, he's he's over. And

(07:15):
then you see photos of us that come out and
we're holding hands and I'm on my hand is on
his leg. For one second that you would be fine
with that all I was like, not one bit, because
I mean, what would you do, Sarah. Let me just
make it clear. They said, oh, they're friends, they were
just having fun. If that's what having friends and fun is,
T will be having none of it because that's not happening.

(07:39):
But I mean, yeah, oh yeah, I know. So I
just we had to bring that up first, because Mark,
what is your thoughts? Since you're you know, older and
wiser than all, I'm blown away by all this stuff. Honestly,
because when I first heard about it and I heard this,
I heard the I guess I heard it on the
radio because I heard about it, and then I heard
the statement that was given, and I thought, that's the

(08:00):
worst statement I can imagine them giving. I needed to
get more creative, Like they're running lines, they're in character. Character.
Would you didn't see they can't like something a little
bit more creative? But then you look at the video
and he's so hammered that I realized none of those
excuses would have felt like I was watching a movie
when I was watching him, how how um not well

(08:20):
he was? Because I was like, is he like, damn
joking to be drunk? If that's he was, he was
nearly coma to us. So married people need to have
a limit when they're drinking without their spouse. They just
have to. I know it's too far to say they
shouldn't drink without their spouse. That's a little bit too
out there, a little too Mike Pens for everybody, But

(08:42):
I think you do need to have a cap because
you should never be in that condition. Because he could
have done anything, he wouldn't remember it. The next day exactly.
And also I looked up her the prenup, but it's
not exactly what we thought it was. It says here
that in the prenup, if he cheats on her, he
needs to pay her five hundred thousand dollars. He's worth
two thirty million dollars. That seems like not a great

(09:04):
deal for Jessica Bee. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, I would have
asked for a lot more than that. I also think
this is the first um indication and a year and
a half from now when they announced their split, well,
I'll remember this moment. I couldn't agree with you more. Well,

(09:27):
let's hope that they don't, because let's hope that this
is you know, they can work through this. I just
want to know who the lady dragging his drunk but
out of the bar was the other lady? Yeah, they
said it was with her that looked like like a handler. Yeah,
like a PR person or someone on his team. If

(09:50):
you watch the video, there's certain parts where there's like
a security looking type guy blocking them, so like you
can't really quite see him. So like, well, bottom line
is as we like to go full circle, right sure,
Like Mark said, if you're married, you shouldn't be having
that much at a bar, especially without your spouse present,
and probably best not to be holding Yeah, not your

(10:11):
spouse's hand and have someone else be grabbing you in touch.
And that's on her, right because he's so blitz he
doesn't know whose hand he was holding. That's on her.
She needs in the Yeah, I wouldn't put the blat
because maybe something else happened before. So it's that's the thing.
It feels like she can do that. This is ongoing,

(10:32):
you know, So I wouldn't want to put the blame
just on her because she probably feels like she can
do that to him. Oh boy, that's true. Blame on her.
We're just saying that there takes two to tango. Yeah,
I know I even used the word blame, and I
shouldn't have. That was the wrong word to use. But
I feel like she should be more aware of the
public nature of what she was doing. Nobody's evening about them,

(10:54):
but time out though not to be This is just
me calling. You know, who is she? Oh, she's she's
a co star in the in the film he's doing right,
But is she very well known? I mean, is she
not to me? Not to me? I'm just saying, maybe
she was doing trying to advance her career too. I
was going to say, do you think people actually have

(11:15):
that one percent? Sucks? But if that's the case, it's just,
you know, with all the me too stuff, it just
makes you question, that's all. I'm confused. I kind of
got lost like two minutes ago. Basically, was she being
an opportunistic oh, because like her pictures are being taken
and this will gain her following. That's interesting. I mean

(11:39):
the movie that I'm just I just like to play
Devil's advocate. So here we go with the comments. But
I'm just saying, like, and I'm I'm actually on her side.
I think she when I'm just saying, I think she's
you know, but she shouldn't have been touching him if
he's a veried man like that. Both parties are wrong anyways. Jessica, Jessica,

(12:00):
she's a bad bitch and I'm here for her lesson learns.
Don't get drunk and go to a bar, hold hands
and get hands in New Orleans. And I honestly I
don't want to wrap this up, but like Jessica Bielle,
like she could beat you up, like she's fit. Yeah,

(12:20):
she can mess you up. Like, I feel like she's
a strong. She seems like a real strong woman. I
think i'd be terrified of her if she seen her angry.
Why I don't know. Well, I mean she's just like
she's like, she's she's strong, she works out, she's built,
she's she's powerful, you know. I just I just feel

(12:41):
like she could get me. Oh a woman, watch out here,
like if Sara. If Sarah tried to get me, and
I'll kind of laugh, Oh no, you would not. You
don't know her very well, come on to me, I would, Well,
what happens and I get me? Are you scared of me?

(13:03):
I'm ten years old. Yeah. Anyways, that's how we started
the show today. So next week on the pop Culture podcast. Sorry,
you know, I had just come home from getting my
lashes done. And by the way, guys, I drove on
the expressway today the entire way home, so thank you

(13:25):
massive panic. Only thought about pulling over once, you know,
I called. I was on the phone, was talking to
Leslie and we were just talking about life and stuff
and I was like, um mo, on my way back
to the podcast. It's gonna be fun. We're gonna talk
about I don't know, and then I remember the video
that you didn't see. So that's how it started. Sorry,

(13:48):
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(16:41):
So last week, you know, we did the songs we
talked by the way, Sarah was mortified because she's like, oh,
I realized that I sang Taylor Swift, Like why was
I singing I don't want underd Do you forget that
a lot of people listen to this? Yeah? Actually I did,
and that lot of people were like, oh my god,

(17:01):
you're a song like, oh my god, remember high school?
And like, yeah, okay, let's not Did anyone gets through Janna, No,
that's a good question. No, but you told me that
people were texting you. I think one person, no one.
One of my friends is like, hey, is that who
you were talking about? And I said yeah, I had
like multiple d ms with like this man's name, and
I was like, what's happening like And then I was like,

(17:24):
oh do people now? People guessed it on my end.
So along with that time, I just had me thinking
along with that topic and is there and we don't
have to we don't have to go in depth about
just maybe something food for thought. Is there anyone out
there like in your life that basically you want to
make amends to, you know what I mean, like somebody

(17:46):
that sticks. No, just had me thinking about it. Yes
you go first, honey, No we don't. I'm not. I'm
not saying we don't have to say names. But it's
just one of those things that had me thinking and no,
you can go first, because no, you can go first.
We made you want to go first last time. What's
the appropriate um boundaries within that, like making amends to

(18:09):
somebody who do you want to make amends too? Well,
that's part of my step work anyway. Yes, that's a
nice step. So but I'm just saying I didn't. There's
sure there's people in my past in life. Are you saying, like,
is there someone that we would want to make amends
to romantically that like now that we're all in other
partnerships that it's not like respectful to make amends or

(18:31):
just anyone in general. Anyone in general. It could be
a past relationship, it could be a friend, it could
be a family member, someone you have wronged in the past,
someone you have wronged, or someone that you've had a
falling out with, or basically to own your part. You
know what I mean, that's a good question. I know.
I'm like, well, how many people have wronged meat? No? Um,

(18:56):
I feel like all the people that I felt I've
wronged or I don't really like wrong but the people
I've had falling out with, I feel like we've mm hmm.
I feel like maybe I'm kind of our swept on it,
not like swept under the rug, but maybe kind of
dealt like I had. I'm trying to think. This is

(19:17):
kind of hard, like do either of you have someone
in mine? Because I'm like kind of I'm like, I
feel like Michael does. He just doesn't want to say
because it might be a pass from mentor too sure.
There's definitely people in my past that, like I think
back and I wasn't the greatest person, and I who
I am now would love to apologize for that. I mean,

(19:37):
who doesn't have people like that that you know to
go back because no one owns their stuff when they're
in those that kind of age age like early twenties,
mid twenty I means all that no one owns it.
But even for me, it's like I have a family member,
my uncle, that I had a falling out with that
like there's a whole wedding backstory and all of that.

(19:58):
But for me, you know, I held on and I'm
not one to hold onto grudges, but I held onto
it for a long time. I'm kind to the point
now where I'm like, you know what, enough about focusing
on what maybe he needs to own or what he
should apologize for. Maybe I just addressed it and say like, hey,
I miss you and I'm sorry for this situation. Can

(20:18):
I just say something because it's I get so with
that situation because I know how much that hurt you,
and I get that, and I think that's really amazing
that you want to do that. But at the same time,
what if he doesn't own the fact that he's like,
I should have showed up and that was ridiculous because
you know those people they should not have been invited
because of what your list was, and like that was

(20:40):
that's just the fact that he didn't show up. We
told the story that bad. No, I'm just wondering, basically,
the gist of it, without going into long details, is Janna,
you know at your wedding you have to draw the
line somewhere. Janna and I decided, based on the forces
in our family on both sides and all this, we're

(21:01):
not going to invite step cousins. Okay, so step cousins
were not blood related to, but related to via marriage.
And then we had a handful on both sides, like
at least like probably a dozen between both sides of
the family. So like, man, that's like at least one table,
if not more. So, like all right, we're gonna stop

(21:21):
at step cousins. And basically, you know, it caused a
riff of my uncle and his new wife and her
children from a previous marriage. And long story short, he
didn't end up coming. He said he was going to come.
He's like, I wouldn't miss this for the world. And
no matter what I told, and he didn't even know
he maybe hung out with them one time. I've never

(21:44):
met them. And again, like we we were paying for
our wedding. We it was like we had to draw
I was like, like eighty people I think was ours
our limit. And he didn't even know them, like he
met them once a couple of times, but not Yeah,
but it's not like it was some I'm like, I'm
not inviting some of my closest friends because we had

(22:04):
to draw the line. And or actually blood some blood relative.
But I'm saying people I would have loved to have
had there, and even like family members, I would have
loved to have had certain family members there, and continued on,
like Natalie, you know, other people that I would have
loved to have had. But again, I'm like, I've never
met them. He's he's out with them a couple of times,

(22:27):
and they're older kids. So it's just we're like, like,
the wife felt that she had to that they should
have been invited, and so she kind of said, we're
not coming, yeah, and so he ended up not coming
to the wedding and I and what hurt for Mike
was because that was his closest family member and he

(22:48):
was you were so upset about it, and so the
fact that and I love your heart and you wanting
to make that amends. But at the same time, it's like,
is he not going to own up for the fact
that was a messed up? So how long? So what
was that? Five six years ago? It'll be five years.
I think for me it's because I've held onto it

(23:09):
for you know, four plus years, and interactions between us
and them have been very uncomfortable and very awkward and
it's like the elephant in the room. And that's my
fault because I'm not. I don't. I don't like that
she did that to him. I think that's so wrong
that she wanted to invite him, and honestly, because they do,
they wanted to be at that wedding because sorry not
to call us, you know, not to call it what
it is. But you know, Sarah, you're going through that

(23:31):
right now. I totally at the Gretzky wedding, totally agree.
If it was if he was married and whatever, if
it wasn't them, they wouldn't have cared. It's just the truth.
They wouldn't have It's the unfortunate thing about some people
in our position of being known somehow that you unfortunately
you get jade and kind of have to take that

(23:52):
into consideration. It's like, what's someone's true motivation? So I
probably have not been the nice one. I think we
saw them at a football game of jobs, and you know,
I probably wasn't nice to her. But I want to
be like, that was rude. Will it hurt you because
it hurt him, you know, and let you check that
you carry that And so now I'm taking and I
don't want you to not that that's just anyways. Yeah, sorry,

(24:16):
but it's a very passionate about this too, because I
know I hurt you. I get I get where both
of you are coming from. Yeah. For me, I think
I'm just finally to the point of, like, you know what,
even to answer your question, honey, even if he didn't
you stay back to me. You know what I told

(24:37):
you I was going to be there. I wasn't there.
I'm sorry, Like, even if you didn't, I can't. I
can't take that one. It's just like what we talked about,
cleaning your shot out of the street, right. All I
can do is make my amends, even tho I didn't
do anything wrong, but just say just to just basically
speak my truth and say, hey, just hurt me, I
miss you. We're always really really really close. He was

(24:58):
my closest relative outside to like my family out of
all my aunt uncle was like closest everything. And so
even if you don't think you're carrying it, you are.
And so for me, it's like I just kind of
want to like get the negative as selfish as it is,
like I just kind of want the vibes out. So
it's like if I know, I you know, ended it
or pieced it up. It's like, okay the end. You know,
if he does and you have that same relationship with

(25:22):
the other person doesn't clean clean their side of the street,
I guess that's that's the question. I think. If they don't,
it's still that's sure, it won't be the same as
connected as you would hope it would be. But at
least I can be free of any grudge. And again,
I'm not one to hold grudge it, I'm really not.

(25:42):
But at least I can let go of my the
grudge I have against against him or the situation and
just let it go. You know what I think four
and a half years ago it is. I do think
that time it's like a blessing anti curse. But as
time goes on, you're kind of like, I want to
be this mad because it really hurt me. But then
you're also like, do I really care anymore? I'm kind
of over, you know, so I can see how, like,

(26:05):
I mean, what is the appropriate time to let something go?
I don't know, Yeah, I mean, even even when we're
discussing this, and and and if you out there listening,
anyone that's gone through their wedding and or playing currently
planning a wedding, and we understand, I mean, no one
goes through and plans it, Sarah and not has to
deal with some of this. And my parents said, my
parents are trying to like mitigate all of it and say, look,

(26:27):
we'll pay for the extra because they knew we were
paying for our own wedding. We'll pay for the extra seats.
And we're like, it's not about the seats, it's about
the principle. We're like, it's not. No, it's not about that. Yeah,
and it's like I trust me, I mean I yeah,
it's like, it's not about you. It's one day. It's
not about you, right, But that's tough. And here's the thing.

(26:51):
Have we seen them since, like the daughters or whatever,
not once? And we never will because we're never We don't.
They don't go to things, they don't go to the
same functions that we go to our family stuff. So again, Salt, Yeah,
but I mean, but if that's on your heart, then
you should Mike. Yeah, we gotta say, uncle, Mark. But

(27:15):
it sounds like the person in the wrong here. If
there was an arbitrator that looked at both sides of this.
It might be the other person might not be You
may be the other person. How do you make amends
when they are the ones at fault. That seems like
a weird maneuver to me. If you're wrong, it's somebody
that's different. But I don't know that you did here, No,
I didn't and and and making amends you're right is

(27:36):
more about owning your stuff. But for me, it's it's
clearing the air. I'm making amends about just clearing the
air has been unspoken tension well, and your relationship changed drastically, drastically,
so for me just to basically address it and say, hey,
I'm I'm sorry that we didn't end up inviting them,

(27:57):
but I miss you and I get that I told
now that you put it like that. Maybe for somebody
that's stubborn, which my parents families both are, especially my
dad's side of the family, who are very stubborn and
don't like to talk about feelings and emotions. I basically
learned how to not talk about emotions by observing my
entire dad's side of the family. So for stubborn people

(28:19):
who don't like to talk about it, maybe he just
needs me to address it. Yeah, sometimes you just have
to be at the end of the day. Yeah, you
gotta do what's right for you, and I'll always support
you at the end of the day. I just I'll
keep my feelings to myself then because you know, I'm Yeah,
that's your relationship that you need to treasure and hold

(28:41):
and if you're ready for that, then you know, you
do whatever you feel in your heart that you have
to do with that. But I just still don't think
you did anything wrong or we did anything wrong. Then
you Yeah, but you miss that relationship and I and
I get that when it comes to family, So yeah,
that's tough. When your family is tough. I feel like
with friends or with relationships, sometimes you just want to
make them is just to clear your soul in your

(29:02):
spirit and not really for a friendship or for that relationship,
but just kind of make yourself feel like you know,
Jane has definitely done that. What You've definitely like connected
with people, were reached out to people that were either
friendemies or acquaintances or even or even friends in the
past that ended up doing something wrong. You You you
have a very forgiving heart. I do not like to

(29:24):
have bad energy out there. I don't like it at all.
I don't like I just I don't like it. Um
there's been only one person that will not it will
not speak to me. But that's fine, and that's their
right and it's totally fine. Internally, is like, why, well,
I just I just don't like negative energy. I don't
like it at all. But and I just I just

(29:46):
like to have that like you said, you want that space.
Even though I didn't technically wrong some of those people,
but it's just having good energy out there. And I
mean that again, your side of the street is clean,
and it's you did the best you could be as
the person that our pastor talks about, you know. Yeah,
And the reason I even kind of brought this up

(30:08):
obviously based on the song thing we talked about last week,
but just going into the holiday season, I mean, you're
seeing family you haven't seen, you haven't seen, You're seeing
people and friends and family that you maybe don't want
to see. But all you can do is control how
you feel, and you're the environment around you. So it's like,
why not just go in and just own it and
just say hey, I'm here, let's have a good time.

(30:29):
And that's kind of what made me think about that, Yeah,
I don't have a very forgiving and that's so positive
and that's no insame because when he says that, I'm like,
and you know what I want to say to the woman,
Oh yeah, thanks for coming to dinner. Where are the
kids that you've got so upset about not them coming
to our wedding, but yet they don't come to anything else.
I think that this is this is not a good thing.

(30:51):
But for me, I think I just like, I go silent,
and then I just hope that like years later, you know,
because I don't think I've ever had like a real
falling out, but I just kind of like stop and
then it becomes mutual and then it's like okay. I
think though too, and especially like there's relationships in my
pasture what I love to go back and say, like, hey,
I'm sorry. I've ever had publicly I apologize, but I

(31:15):
think and I know that, and I know Mike wants
you to and I know, but I think it's one
of those things where you know, this is kind of
the platform to say, you know, you're sorry. And at
the end of the day, when we're younger, you were
going through so much stuff. People change and people grow
and I don't hold on. I'm not mad at certain
x Is anymore because the way they know me, it's
just I know that they were in their space and

(31:37):
that was what they were going through. You know, if
you had mends of people that you know you date,
it it's more of just they know that you were
messed up everyone like they know that you're sorry. You
know that that we we all grow up and we
all change, and if not, you don't owe it to
them anymore. It's more about you. You owe it to
yourself and the people that this is actually changed. A

(32:00):
wait now that you brought this up, because now I'm
thinking and like, I mean, I probably should. But the
girl who introduced me and Ty, she was one of
my best friends and she was one of my absolute
best friends. She introduced me and Tight. We are not speaking.
We haven't spoken five years, but now that we're getting married.
It's actually crazy. We had I wouldn't say of falling
out because it just kind of stopped, um, both of us.

(32:21):
And it's crazy because you know, that's someone I could
be like, you know, whatever the f went down, neither
of us probably know, but like thanks because I'm marrying him,
so it's weird things like that. But it's not like
we had some like crazy falling out. It just sometimes,
I mean, it's hard. It's hard to keep friends, especially
when you started it. Yeah, hashtag no new friends none ever,

(32:48):
It's so hard. Yeah, wild I think we have a
special guest on hold waiting for us, So I'm so excited.
Let's take a break and then we'll get her on
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down at checkout. Don't you look at my text messages.

(34:15):
Mike's trying to steal on my phone over here, Sarah. Okay,
all right, I'm really excited um to have this beautiful
soul back on. So Emily Giffen was a guest on
our Atlanta podcast and I shouldn't say podcast Evening with
on wine Down and she was incredible and I was

(34:39):
so obsessed with her. But we have Emily Giffen on theline.
Hey guys, party again. We're back. I missed you so much. Oh,
I miss you so much. And I had so many
comments because a lot of people think that our wind Down,

(35:00):
you know, Evening With show is recorded and it's it's
not it's kind of just a very special intimate place,
you know, where we you know, have sometimes have guests.
And when I knew that I was in Atlanta, I
was like, we have to get Emily, like she's you
know how much I've been obsessed with you for quite
a while now, Um, but we just had so much
fun with you, and I just was like, Okay, now

(35:20):
now the podcast wind downers need to hear everything and more.
We covered so many topics, so many you all always
do though, you guys just go you run the gamuts.
It's so awesome, but we really did cover a lot
from the royal Um, we're going to get into all that.
But for those of you, so, how many best time

(35:42):
sellers twelve, ten, eleven, Oh you know, I wish nine
and I'm working on my tenth right now as we speak.
So this is an awesome break from my writing today. So, um,
you have a book coming out, The Lies That Bind.
It's now available for pre order at Emily Giffen dot com.
But Something Borrowed was the first movie that has now

(36:03):
been turned into well the first book that turned to
a movie. Um, who who did you think played? Was
spot on with that um with that book. Character was
the description of Darcy in the book, like she's supposed
to have dark hair, and you know when they said
Kate huss and I'm like, no, she's totally not. She did.

(36:24):
That's like not who I picture at all. But she
really nailed it. She nailed it that so much that
like it makes me wander I mean, I got to
know her a little bit, but you know not, it
makes me wonder if like she is sort of a Darthy.
You know, she's one thousand percent Darcy a thousand percent.
But I I have to be honest because I remember

(36:48):
because I've never ever read a book that went into
a movie ever, and people never understood why people got
so upset about certain characters that were casted, because you know,
I'm like, how, like why who cares? If this person is?
Who cares of Jennifer? In your mind? You like see them?
You know? Well, and that's why, like when something Borrowed
came out, I was like, Jennifer Goodwin is not Rachel.

(37:11):
I had the hardest I was like Darcy, Kate Hudson,
that was spot on, But I have had the hardest
time being like that's not Rachel, it's not. And eventually,
now that I've watched it over and over and over again,
I'm like, Okay, you can see the aspects of Rachel
and her, but it's just it's it was just so crazy. Okay,
So who would you who would you affect? And you
all have your wish because where they're there when they

(37:32):
do we're gonna do something Blue, and they're recast because
everyone's everyone's like too old now, we're all too old now,
but they're they're they're too old to play these characters.
Oh wait, so wasn't it wasn't Kate Hudson actually supposed to.
Were you guys supposed to do something Blue a while back? Yeah?
We were. And then it just you know how those

(37:53):
things happen the side of the business, like it got
held up, and then you know, the main pretty ters
Molly Smith left um Alcohn and now she's with Black Label,
like her own production company, and so you know, we
want to make it together. We have a script and
we're actually working on some other things that I know.
It texts you the next day, I'm like, I am

(38:15):
determined to work together because there's more adapting three other
ones as we speak. We have three scripts, and I'm like,
Janna Companus, Oh, I would die. Who was who was?
Actually to give us a little back, like a little
scoop from something borrowed? Who was supposed to? Like? Who
were you thinking about having play Rachel? Okay, so gosh,

(38:39):
this is like a while back now, but the first
person that we I don't even know if I'm supposed
to say this, but who care? People people talk about
this stuff all the time, like who would have had
the role? Like, yeah, I'm like, I don't know, I
really don't Rachel McAdams. I think the first offer Rachel.
Oh my god, she totally would have been Rachel. Why

(39:03):
you might could go her on and ask her about it? Yeah,
I wish you, Like why did you pass on that movie? Wow?
And so I think Jennifer Goodwin was was second um.
And I think there are some things that Jenny Like
what didn't you like about Jenny and that role? Like

(39:24):
did you think she was like cute? Sweet? Because her
face too sweet to such a sweet face Jane. Jane
is a little bliss because she's not a big thing. Yeah,
I just have never been a big fan of her work.
I had just have one of those interactions where she
wasn't like, just wasn't very kind. So that kind of
broke my heart. I just I loved Rachel so much,

(39:45):
so when you see someone that you don't naturally love love,
it's hard to then with the character that Look, when
I talked about this a little bit, I think in
the dream room, but what does the deal with so
many actresses being like just bitches? No? It's true though,
because we were well and how we got talking about
this was we were talking about the Royals because I

(40:05):
thought that she was a fan of Megan Markel, and
I've heard so many rumors that she's not a nice
person and so the me and so I thought that
Emily was a fan of Megan's. But I've just heard
so much about her and the friends and how she's
treated like the crew and on certain things, and that
just really bummed me out to hear that. Hopefully that's

(40:27):
not the case, but when you hear a lot of them,
I've heard those things too, Janna, Like, you're you're your celebrity.
Like what I always say about no matter how famous
of an author you are, you're automatically like a de lister.
But I have enough um overlapped in sort of some
of those worlds. So I've heard the same things, and
it's I really loved the idea of her marry into

(40:47):
that family, just the diversity and American racial woman, strong woman.
But then when you hear these things, and of course
you never know if they're true, but it kind of
come from good sources, and it's just disappointing. But actresses
in general, like I, I mean, what's your explanation. You've
been around more of them than I, but it's just
like narcissists. I think there's a part of that. And

(41:07):
then also like I know, I've had bad days too.
I was like, there was a time I was working
on a movie. Uh, it was during all of our stuff,
Mike and we were up in Vancouver and Mike and
our fighting, and I was really short a few days
to some people because I was annoyed. I was, but
I wasn't annoyed at them. I was annoyed at what

(41:28):
was a lot in my life. I wasn't around my child,
and when I'm not around my kid, I get I
get really um agitated and angry. Well I was gonna say,
don't you just think because it's easier, I mean, and
not to be like oh poor, but like it's just
easier to say like, oh my god, she's such a bit.
What are you gonna say about a guy like oh
he was Like I feel like it's just easier to
say like a girl is like oh, she's on her

(41:50):
period or she's you know, there's so many more excuses
a guy could say about not a guy. A person
could say about a female actress versus with an actor,
you could be like, oh my god, he just he
was in the zone when her like he was like no,
he was rude and he was a dick. But you know,
instead Owen Wilson, who I hear is really nice and
I like, I hate this, but he filmed a movie

(42:10):
at our house, which is just random, like you know,
the scouting what do they call the people that picked
the locations. Yeah, so they just happened to like knock
on the door and be like, oh, can you be in?
You know, can we used your house? And like yeah,
surely when I thought it was Owen Wilson, But there
was this whole thing like where we weren't supposed to
take any pictures, which is like, yeah, I know, you're

(42:32):
not just any pictures. But at one point he was
on my daughter's swing. There's like big swings attached to
this tree in the front yard, under year old tree,
and he was like on the swing and I'm like,
oh my gosh, Harry, he's on your swing, and so
like I took a picture. Right he's like sitting in
the swinging. I'm like, maybe you know, feet away. I
took a picture and he came over to me and

(42:52):
he's like yeah. I'm like, well, I get called out.
I mean, my mom said, it's I've been like this
ever since I was little, Like my Dado yelled. I mean,
I was like first in his years like reprimand me
even like hey, Emily, don't but like when he did that,
I like, I mean I didn't cry. I was like,
legitimately so upset that I wrote a letter that night.
I wrote a letter. I'm like, dear Owens, I'm like,

(43:15):
I really sorry that I took the picture of you
and my daughter's swing. I certainly wasn't going to do
anything with it other than just put it in a
family scrapbook as a fond remembrance. If when you shot
this movie at home, like I felt the need to
write this letter. But so actors can be kind of
jerks too, But I wonder if I wonder if it's

(43:35):
just that they're so I mean, do you think it's
like an ego thing? Mike? What do you think? First? Too?
But yeah, well it's funny. First of all, that sucks.
I was hearing that he wasn't Also he wasn't filming.
It's like between takes. I should say that too, but
go ahead. Just coincidentally, Jane and I have a business

(44:00):
meeting the other day with uh one of our agencies
and stuff. And when I started talking about like business
and work, I'm very uh straight faced because I'm very
kind of um, I'm not introverted, but I'm introspective in
that moment where like Jenna wants to like talk talk
talk talk, talking back and forth, back and forth my mouth.

(44:21):
I'm like in my head thinking everything out. So I'm
very like straight faced, very to the point, very serious,
um and just kind of that's just how I do
it when I when I'm dealing with business stuff and
and problem solving. So even Janna said, like one of
our Janna's a manager that was there was like, was
Mike in a bad mood because that's just kind of

(44:42):
like how I do things when I work. Sometimes I
was like Jenna asked me, was like are you okay?
I was like, I'm great, Like what are you talking about?
But I guess it's just something I kind of portray
without even trying. Granted I didn't go up to somebody
and give them take a picture of me. But that's
one of those things that we none of us really

(45:02):
have experience where if you had to deal with actual
paparazzi or actual people in your seven who knows how
jaded somebody gets and gets tired of it and when
they say please know pictures and someone doesn't listen to
a you know, a boundary that they set up, or
when all eyes are constantly you can't go. You know.

(45:25):
I don't like to talk when on the ride sometimes
to work, just because I know it's going to be
a really long day. I have a lot of energy.
I'm I have. So there's certain days where sometimes I
and I feel bad when the drivers asking me question
the driver from set to wherever we're going. And if
I'm quiet, am I going to be seen as rude?

(45:45):
Or if I'm short, am I going to be seen
as rude or is it okay for me to say,
you know, I'm so sorry, I just don't really want
to talk right now. But I end up usually talking
and then I'm kind of short, which I'm like, oh,
they probably thought I was a total b but I
just I I need you have to preserve it down
to And there's a good reminder that in the delivery
because of the key had said something about the sling
in a different way, or like, if you say, you know,

(46:06):
I don't really feel like talking, there's a good trick
for that. In the back of cars, I I say
on ste I'm just listening to a voicemail, and I
hold the phone up to my ear and just pretend
to listen to a voicemail that that isn't really there. Um,
that's a good little trick because I always filty for
that too. But um, and I think maybe you're right.
I think if you own your a microscope and you're like,

(46:27):
if you're just a normal person going about your business,
maybe you're short with someone you know once every was
a month. Let's call it. If you're famous in your
short with that person person once a month, that anecdote
is going to get told and retold and retold. So yeah,
that's I guess. I guess that's fair. But is this

(46:48):
story that you haven't told you but that you want
to tell? Yeah, you know what you you mean, like
a book or like a personal story, like a personal
like a story that you want to write in a book,
like some either whether off someone's life or I mean,
I'm probably you can't answer because you know, spoiler alert,
But I mean, is there some kind of that I

(47:10):
haven't talked about a royal book? Oh my gosh, wouldn't
be fun. What do you think of? Yeah, you know,
there's so many ideas I have and so many things
that I want to write about right now in the
book because The Waves that Find is written about the
summer before um, nine eleven, and I'm sort of fascinated

(47:30):
with that time, like just like Innocence, almost this time
before not eleven. I guess partly because I lived in
the city then. Um, so there's some you know, autobiographical
things in there, and um but you know, I write
about relationships, and so all the books are sort of
recurring themes in terms of the messiness of relationships, which

(47:50):
I think one of the reasons that I find the
two of you so appealing and refreshing, and you know,
I'm so drawn to you as a couple in the
families because you're really you could so easily be one
of my books, you know, like exactly popped down. We

(48:12):
got material for days, I mean for days. But it's
like you, I think most people do, but they're too
afraid of you know. And as you explained your story,
it was sort of like forced, like you were forced
to share it because you wanted to share it on
your terms, which I thought. It's just an interesting part
of our conversation that night, your description of that and
how you sort of like, you know, you wanted ownership

(48:34):
of your own story, um, which was just just think
of how incredibly strong you are. But um, but yeah,
I think that most people have you know, met Our
lives are so messy, Our relationships are so messy. I
mean even you're you know, your your best friend, Like

(48:54):
if you go deep enough with the best friend, you're
going to have like the rocky patch. Certainly in a
marriage you have capatch. I mean there's a part of
one of the books where I say marriage is a
total mystery, even the two people who are in it
and I think that that's the case with everyone. And
I just think most people are so busy worrying about
the perceptions of who they are and who they want

(49:15):
to present to the world, that is that you you
don't really you don't really know what's happening with people,
and they're just posting these things on social media and
making their lives look perfect, and because they're almost too afraid,
like what will people think, Well, do they still like
me if they know that my husband had an affair
or you know, which is really the messed up part.
It's like, you know, you're you're you're not only worried

(49:36):
about what you've done, but like what everyone in your
life has done. Like what if someone knows that my
child has a drug problem? Oh my gosh, the militiudge
me is not being a good mother, and maybe the
don't want to be friends with me. And you see
a lot of this stuff, you know, as you when
you're when you're writing books and really examining relationships, you
know you, I mean, you guys see that too, don't
you When you're when you're doing your podcast and you

(49:58):
have people share these stories with you. Oh yeah, yeah, Um,
so you have three kids, I do and what, um,
what do you think the greatest piece of relationship advice
that you've gotten along the way from you know, just
life with your husband and three kids, and where you
guys are at now in terms of marriage or like

(50:19):
in terms of you know, motherhood or just inch otherhood
and and and really like what would you what would
you tell your your kids when they get to that
young adult stage in their twenties and they're trying to
start to have serious relationships, Like what kind of relational
advice would you give them to compare to you and
your husband of what you all have done successfully? Well,
they're there, you know, I've always are fifteen, my daughters twelve,

(50:41):
so no one there have no boyfriend, girlfriend or anything
like that. But in terms of I think what we
what we try to sort of show by example and
the conversations that we have is that people, you know,
people aren't perfect, and we make mistakes, and we always
you know, we always try, even if it's sometimes a
little bit of upfront to say, to own our mistakes

(51:01):
in front of our kids to each other, like I'm
sorry that that I didn't say that in a nice way.
That wasn't right um, even though later we could be
you know, we can continue with the fight. But I
think I think it's importantly even if you just agree,
like just just sort of acknowledge that we're all flawed,
you know, and just sometimes something will happen and you know,

(51:23):
I have one one one of my sons, like a
little bit more emotional and health hell be up that
will have a family fight or an argument and he'll
be like, the whole weekend ruined, the whole thing is ruined,
the whole trip druin. And you know, we always say, no,
it's not it's not all that sings all ruined because
this happened or that happened. Like, you can recover, you
can bound back. You need to be resilient in your

(51:45):
own life and in your own relationships. You know, you
this isn't a fairy tale. We can have little setbacks,
we can have disagreements, and you know, ultimately the other
thing is just you're all on the same team. You know,
you're gonna have fights with people on your team, but
you're on the same team. It's in a way, it's
your family against the world. And I feel like YouTube
really convey that in your podcast. It's like you ultimately,

(52:08):
you know, you have each other's backs, and I think
that's that's so important. I don't know if that's that
advice feels too general, but no, I think I think
that's actually something that goes over looked at Jim and
I've talked about a lot, and we even talked about
it when we had you. Is about just remaining keeping
that mindset of your your team. You know, your spouse
is your teammate. You don't have to be against each other,

(52:30):
you can work together. I just think it's easy for
people to make the other person out to be the
enemy though, And I think that's what we've done earlier
on in our relationship that we've really failed on, where
it's like I'm not your enemy, but you're treating me
like your enemy, you know. I think that's that's hard,
I think, But I think over the years of being married,
you start to work together. Yeah, when you when you

(52:52):
get so frustrated into that or you insecure with yourself,
it's very easy to sort of draw those lines. Um.
And I think that that's a whole separate sort of
issue in a marriage versus like what you you know,
the hold the family component, um, you know, it's it's
almost like it's it's almost like it's okay for them
to see you fight. They have to office see the

(53:14):
resolution there and that you love each other no matter what. Um.
And you know, we have the twin sons, so they
fight all the time and it's just like, you know,
the worst when they're fighting. And what we always say
is do you like it when Daddy and I fight?
Will know, well, just you know stop then, like you everyone,
we have five people in our family. Everyone's responsible for
the happiness of our home life. If one person is

(53:38):
being awful, which is usually my youngest daughter, we talked
about that Jan our daughters, it can be difficult, um,
but that's sort of everything off kilter, and you have
sure ruined them, like you know, you cannot be as
I always stay that, Harriet, you cannot hijack the happiness
of this family. We do not negotiate with terrorists. That's
a good life. It's a good line for you and

(53:58):
your daughter. Well, that's a great wisdom from a fantastic writer. Emily.
Thank you so much for joining us, and we're so
excited to connect with you again and have you on
a new show. I know we're gonna try to come
back to Atlanta soon. So friend, Emily you I just
called her. M she does have a movie for you

(54:22):
or some roles. So yeah, I'm just obsessed with there
because I've read every single one of her books. I
don't read any other author. There's not one other author
that I read. She is the only one. And whenever
I get it, I'm like, bye, Mike, like two days gone.
That's so, she's the only author I can read. I
just think she's so relatable. Her stories are so good.
I'm laughing, I'm crying. I'm like and then I'm like, oh,

(54:45):
it's so good. Emily Given dot com. Get every single
one of her books because they're the best. You can
pre order her next book, The Lies That Bind Emily
Different dot Com. Let's take a break in then, doo
Emails is already December. As much as we love getting seasonal,
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sleep number dot com slash Janna Oh Mark, do you
have any emails for us? Sabrina is wondering what happened

(57:22):
with your One Tree Hill marathon? Is that still going?
You know what? So look, sorry again, we spa this
to somebody recently. Every podcast, every wine down, people ask
you because someone asked about that, and I said, well,
I personally didn't realize that there's like two ninety six

(57:44):
episodes and he's one is like fifty five minutes. So
I'm sorry, but we don't have a spare two nine
hours to spend watching One Tree Hill. It's one. It's
a bit how do you eat an elephant one bite
at a time? You just gotta just gotta good after
one and show a week and the next thing you
know you got it. That. Yeah, but that means we
gotta say, you know that, we have to watch that

(58:05):
instead of some of the shows that were the morning show,
So I need to start that. It's so good. I
know I've gotten buried in shows right now. It's only
I am okay, So sorry Sabrina and everyone else. She
says that show was and is the ish. Still, I

(58:28):
gotta start it. I'm gonna do it. I love the podcast.
To see you at the Royal Oak Podcast. I've been
counting down, so wind down to our our last week
of this of this run. We're doing Chicago, which has
sold out. Detroit, got a couple of seats loft for
that in the Louisville the first week of December. It's
gonna be so much fool Fourth and fifth, all right,

(58:49):
Dana is about to turn twenty five. She's went with
the boyfriend, who's twenty six, for two years. She says,
I have three wonderful brothers. Were very big and intimidating.
My boyfriend is laid back, and that ruggy is not
scary looking at all. A little over a year ago,
my boyfriend and I were out and we're approached by
an irate man yelling at us over a parking space.
I was very uncomfortable, very scared. My boyfriend did nothing.

(59:10):
I was the one who had to calm this guy
down when my boyfriend just stood there. I expressed my
feelings to him. He apologized, He told me he would
do whatever I needed him to do to help me
feel safe. It's been over a year and I don't
really know what it is exactly that I need from him.
I'm kind of hoping another occasion like that comes up
so he can show me something different. This is the
man I want to settle down with and have a

(59:31):
family with, but I'm not sure I can be confident
in doing either of those things if I don't feel
safe with him. Amazing that, I mean, I can't even
like he's just a fantastic email that's so good? So
what So Okay, there's a few schools of thought on this. So, Dana,

(01:00:01):
if you were to trade places with the woman that
was dating the hothead who would get in a fight
snaptop or or make it worse or escalate it, you know,
I'm sure that most people in that relationship would probably
trade places with you. But there is that happy medium.
I get what she's saying, though. She wants to feel

(01:00:23):
protective and she wants to feel and I'm not saying
that means that her boyfriend has to basically threaten to
beat this guy up, but something definitely needs to be said. Honestly,
she just needs to assume the role because I've assumed
that role very early on, and I know you think
I'm not scary, but I really am. I saw very
early on that ties a lover and he's kind and

(01:00:44):
he's genuine, and I'm just not so if you want
to come at us, come at me, and here we go.
I mean, there are there are several moments where Jana
is the more intimidating person. Yeah, you just gotta like fine, yeah,
it's fine. What do you mean? What what do you mean?
You like yell at cab people and oh no, I mean,
I'm not going to pop off on anyone who looks

(01:01:06):
at me. But like, if someone's gonna get in my
face about a parking spot, I'm going to have him
take several seats and tell me he's to walk with
the lord and calm down, like you know, something normal.
I'm not gonna throw punches, But that's really funny. That's
where I mean, because you're you would sorry, you would
you would throw you would throw punches, not now, not nowadays?

(01:01:29):
What days his football testaster, Yeah, not nowadays. I would
not get in a fight over a parking spot. I
don't have to talk for people like that, like account
So if someone threatened your safety, yes, yeah, or if
somebody pushed you in a bar and you're like, yo, dude,
He's like, what what situation should I be in a

(01:01:50):
bar where someone pushes me and says you would good question?
Justin timber like circle. I mean I can get, I
can understand. I'm me, I'm sure. I mean you guys say,
I mean Sarah, you're just owning the role. Well no,
but there are no, no, there are times like you know,
we walk our dogs late at night and sometimes I
get scared and I'm like, okay, realistically though, if I'm

(01:02:12):
walking this dog and someone comes at me and die,
what is he gonna do? He's gonna possibly like scream,
run or run you know. So there's times where you
know I'd like him to but I think for sure
for this listener, obviously, if something happens, he's going to
protect and assume the role. Like the parking spot thing. Okay,

(01:02:34):
maybe he was a little too chill, but like, no, no, no,
if someone let me ask this, let me and let
me have a point to this, to have a story
of apologists. So I wonder it was about a parking spot.
Did she do anything to piss this guy off? Like
did Dana steal his parking spot? And is that why
he's getting angry. But which uh the other day at

(01:02:56):
Jolie's Thanksgiving dinner at her school, you beat the horn.
It's a mom going into the thing because she took
your guy, Michael, that's a mom going into the same school.
Serious side, I'm just kidding. That's because we're in a
fight and I was angry, and it doesn't But no,

(01:03:19):
My point is if Dana did something to make this
guy mad and she's like, stand up for me, why
aren't you saving back? And if he's like, well you
kind of stole a spot, bro, wait, like how to
lose a guy? My friends? You know, we brought this up.
I think we might have talked about before. We don't
need to bring it back up. Okay, yeah, all right,

(01:03:43):
we won't bring it back up. Still subject okay, Yeah,
this girl out of a salon called you an out
for kind of sound means Jana wasn't purposely, but she
sounded a little snarky to the woman at the nail
salon about our appointment time. Serious, remember that, and the
girls like calling Janna rude and Janna instead of looking

(01:04:06):
back at the girl, she looks at me. She's like,
are you gonna say anything? And I kind of look
at Jane. I'm like, well, you're kind of bed. It
was one instance, but any other time, oh my god. Okay,
do we have anymore Mark, Well, no, but just we
haven't really given her any advice. I think it made
a great conversation, but I think the advice, in my opinion,

(01:04:29):
just defending guys that aren't very um traditionally macho. I
guess you could say this may never come up again
as long as you live. You know this, this may
have been an isolated incident. I don't think you should
put so much into this. You don't want to be
married to your brothers, and you don't just love him
for what he is and assume this is never going
to happen. And if it's really bothering, you bring it
up to him from a good place. But hey, that's

(01:04:50):
still has been sitting with me really weird. And I
just want to know that you will maybe say something
or hire somebody to jump out at you in an
aisle an alley, frank him, frank him responsible, Alright, love you,
wind down next week.