May 24, 2021 • 56 mins
Jana shares intimate moments from one of the most challenging nights of her life when Mike was officially served with divorce papers.
Find out everything that happened and how she kept herself focused on that difficult decision.
And, the amazing DeVon Franklin gives Jana some incredible advice about what to do when your marriage doesn’t meet your expectations. Not only does he help Jana, he'll help your relationship as well.
Jana hears some crucial lessons from Tara Taylor, an internationally renowned intuitive counselor, spiritual teacher and published author.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast.
I am pumped about today's episode Mark Eastern. Are you
guys excited beyond Beyond? Mark? You have not been here
for a minute. What's going on with you? I have not.
You kind of left me hanging there for a little bit.
You know, I have so many different things and I
(00:22):
want to be here every time, and some weeks it
just doesn't work out. But I'm here now. We should
focus on that, all right, focus on the positive, right,
that's all about the positive. Um. Well, you know who
is here who hasn't left my side is my best
friend Katherine. Hey, guys, Hi Catherine? Are you so? I
don't know if you listen to last week's episode. Did
(00:44):
you listen to it? No? You didn't. I kind of
mentioned you. I'm worried. That's why I haven't listened yet. No.
I I mentioned you because I told the story about
the night after I filed for divorce and I had
to take the kids to school and you were in
(01:05):
the kitchen and I came out and I was having
like a full blown panic attack and I was just like,
I can't take the kids to school, and you were
like and I was waiting for you to say I'll
take them. I know, I know you were, and you
didn't say it, and I'm like, why isn't she saying
she'll take the kids? I can't you see him having
a panic attack on the floor and I'm sweating and
I'm crying, and I'm like, and you were like, you
(01:29):
didn't even give me a day. You tough love me
so fast. Well, first off, I didn't realize us mad
the night, so I had no contacts in Okay, let's
just start there, so I knew I physically was not
driving your kids to school. Um, but I did say, Hey,
we're gonna have this panic attack right now, and then
we're gonna get better and we're gonna take your kids
to school and it's gonna be fine, and then you
(01:50):
can come home and then you can cry for the
next four hours. I did say that, Yeah, and my
tough loved you. I'm sorry, no, no, but I think
it was you tough love me. But I think I
needed it because in that moment, that day was the
determining factor if I was going to let anxiety rule
my life or not, because I was just like, I've
(02:10):
never done anything by myself. You know, it was always
like Mike and I and it was like we did
this together, and we did that together, and the thought
of doing something by myself gave me so much anxiety
that I was like, I don't even know if I
can physically drive my kids, which I know I'm capable,
but when I'm in that state, I don't feel like
I'm capable of doing anything. And I was like, I
don't even know if I can drive them ten minutes,
(02:31):
which is actually like eight minutes their school. But that's
how like messed up I was. But it was because
I felt like I came off I was coming off
of a drug and I had that like such terrible
anxiety that I was just and it was like, and
if you would have in a sense enabled me that day,
(02:52):
because in my mind, I'm like, God, catherinely Case, you see,
like I'm like having a massive panic attack and I
need you as my best friend to take my kids
to school. But it's like, give me a freaking week to, like,
you know, cry about this. Well, I think I know
you well enough to know that you needed for me
not to enable you right then. I mean, first of all,
I come from, you know, a drug addict, mother. You know,
(03:15):
I come from the past of addicts, and I've recognized
that in you. Um, and I know that me enabling
you in that moment, it would have been easy, Yes,
I mean could I physically have driven them. I mean
I would have been squinting, but I could have driven them.
It would have been ugly, But I knew that I
(03:36):
had to give you no choice. I couldn't come over
every day and take your kids to school. You know,
I can't do it. I have my own three kids.
I can't physically do that for you. Um. We can
hire somebody to do it for you, but you're not
going to feel good about yourself, you know. So it's
I knew you as a mother, you had to you know.
I gave you a few minutes. You had a few
minutes of your attack or you know, panic attack, I guess,
(03:59):
but um, but you did it, and you came home
and you asked me to stay, and I'll never forget.
I was like, all right, I'll stay as long as
she needs. You got back and you're like, all right,
you can go, And I was like, you know, sometimes
you just need and and I hate it because it
comes off kind of I'm not the most. You know,
I'm not the most loving, touching, nourishing person or not nourishing.
(04:19):
I ses it's the wrong word, but and I know
it can come off bad sometimes, but I think sometimes,
especially the way that you can be, I think that
you need it and then that you need the other
stuff too. But yeah, I mean, you know me more
than any of my my friends. And you know, like
in that moment, what I truly needed was that tough love.
And I think because of that, and I almost and
(04:43):
I say this to like, thank you too, because if
you would have done that, like I would have just
stayed in that anxious state. But it was like I
had to pull up my big girl pants on because
and that's what you said. You're like, you're a mom,
you got this. You've got two kids, you need to
do this. And and you know, yeah, did I bawl
(05:03):
my entire way home, like for sure, but you know
I had to also be like, okay, this is it
was just crazy, but it also brought me to that
place of the night that might get served. Um. It's
it was literally like a drug. I was like, I
need you. He can't come in this room because a
(05:23):
second if he comes in this room, I'm gonna probably
ask for him back, or I'm gonna beg for this,
or I'm gonna like or I'm gonna need like because
I need him. Like it was like literally like like
I need him, and you were you were like my
my person in the living room being like y'all, let
you explain it. It's kind of the bodyguard just kind
(05:44):
of terrifying. Um no, that's that's exactly right. You. You
and those in that moment had to have someone to
protect you from yourself. And it's not always easy to
be that person. But I can recognize that and you
and I think you know. I mean, I literally sat
in the living room while he went up and down
(06:04):
the stairs putting the kids to bed, doing whatever he was,
and I just sat there. I sat there on my
phone until he asked to come into your room, and
I said no, I said, please do not go in there.
You've done enough. Let her be, just let her be.
And the in the addict of me was like I
wanted him so badly to come in that room and
and hold me and love me and tell me he's
(06:26):
sorry and like and give me that hit, because that's
what I like, I needed it so bad. It's interesting though,
but you recognize it now, I do, but you did
on the front end because I was in the room
with you and you said, no, I need you to
go out there and make sure he does not come
in here. So you recognize it because I've done it
a million times. Yeah, It's like that's the thing. It's like,
(06:47):
how good is when someone's addicted to drugs? Like it's
I wanted that hit, but I also know what that
hit does to me, So it's I'm like, you know,
it's like that scene and walk the line where they're
like get out, like you know, the the comes a
good Johnny some more drugs. It's like you were that
person for me, and because I know that I couldn't
(07:07):
I would want to take that hit. I think that
you fully gave me permission this time too to do
those things, you know, Yeah, And I think this time
it was like, all right, this is the plan, this
is what I need you to do. And I had
the permission to do it and I wasn't going to
back down, where there have been times where I haven't
fully had that permission from you and you weren't ready.
(07:27):
And I'm I'm a firm believer in timing, and I
think that you know, the timing of this was just
different and it was the right time, and I think
we we all obviously know that. But you gave me
that permission this time. Whether you really wanted him to
come in the room or you really wanted him to
leave or whatever it was, you knew what you really
deep down needed, and you give me permission to be
that person. So I think that's why it kind of
(07:49):
it worked this time as easy as it wasn't, I know,
But you know, I'd love to get some kind of
specialists that deals with addiction beca I think being an
addict and love is like that is so that drug.
I mean that hit having that and and that um
codependency of the trauma bond, like all of it is
(08:11):
so it can mess you up so bad, even just
in like if you're just dating someone too, have you ever,
like I mean, I'm not a very codependent person, so
it's hard. I'm I'm almost too independent, So that's my
fault as that you know, I'm definitely too independent. Um,
but you're definitely a codependent person, which I mean in general,
(08:34):
and I mean it doesn't matter in a relationship and
a friendship and anything. You're a very codependent person, um,
and that's okay. I just think you have to figure
out now what that looks like and how you enjoy
your time alone and how you get to, you know,
really focus on yourself. And I think that that's kind
of the next step that will be hard for you. Mark.
(08:55):
What do you what do you think and when you
anything coming up for you? Because I'm know that I
mean a lot. I'm just trying to think of what
I can ask that's acceptable and what's not and what's
been First of all, the overwhelming thing I'm thinking is
what a great friend to have. I mean, my gosh.
Everybody should be so lucky to have a Katherine in
their life. I mean, that's amazing that she was there
(09:18):
for you, knew exactly what you needed in that moment.
That's selfless. So I'm very impressed with that, Katherine. But
also I'm just taken back to that night. So it
was Mike served at your house. Yeah, so it was
and that even like dealing with that. I mean it
felt like a movie, did it not. When we were
(09:39):
sitting in the lawyer's office trying to figure out like
what how to do it, and because it's like I
couldn't because I mean, honestly, what I wanted was just
to be like here, you know, here the papers, because
like he knew I was I think he knew I
was falling. I mean, but he was out, he was
out of the house. Yeah for how long? Oh it's
(09:59):
a week okay, less than a yeah, and so, um,
it was one of those things where it couldn't it
couldn't be me. By law, you can't serve um. I
couldn't serve him papers. Um. And so then they're like, well,
Katherine ken but again that's you know, she's she's going
(10:22):
to have to be around him, Like there's just that
energy too. I don't think she really wanted to take
that on, right, No, No, I wasn't excited about that.
I would have done it, but I wasn't too excited
about that in a really terrible position. Yeah. So it's
just like trying to figure that out was tough, and
I think, you know, and meanwhile, I'm just like sitting
in the lawyer's office like this is like it just
(10:42):
felt like a dream, Like how is this even like
a reality? But um, we he he wanted to put
the kids down. So the only way that it could
happen is it has to be outside of a house too,
So it's like leaving somewhere. That's another rule. It can't
be in your home. Yeah right, I'm not so sure
about that. I think we didn't want him in the
house because I know she had told a story. I
(11:05):
know she had told a story about someone like throwing
it in the house. Remember, so I think you can.
I don't know, honestly, but we wanted him out of
the house. We wanted the kids down asleep, make sure
that that's all set, and then get him out of
the house and then give it to him. And why
are you involved in this? Why isn't it an independent
person just going to his place and serving him like
it is? We didn't know where he was staying. There
(11:28):
was an independent person coming to we Finally it was
the end of the day, but we wanted it done
that day. Um, So they were having a hard time
finding someone to serve, but then they finally found someone,
so they were outside. So it was an independent party
that ended up serving him. Yeah, and that was and
and I knew what was happening. So meanwhile, I'm in
(11:49):
the room, I know what's about to happen? And I'm wailing,
like bawling, crying because all I wanted to do, honestly
in that moment was to run out and say never mind,
never mind, never mind, guy go away, like might come here.
I mean, I literally that's what I wanted to do,
because that was the addict in me being like the
(12:11):
second he gets those papers, it's done, and I can't
go back to that person anymore, Like I can't because
that's for me. It's like whenever I filed, that was
my I was done. I can't go back from that.
I can How how can you you know? Like for
me that it was just something that was I was
very um careful and never actually filing. So when so
(12:34):
me knowing like he's with the kids upstairs, I'm in
the room, like the anxiety and then like no, but
I'm like also knowing if I walk out of that
room saying never mind, she's going to probably tackle my ass.
So they would have been you know, so you know
that's that's why. And he heard me crying not and
I was trying not to cry, but how could you not,
Like I know what's about to happen, and it was
(12:55):
killing me. So he puts the kids down, he hears
you crying, he wants to come talk you. Catherine blocks him,
says absolutely not because she knows the situation. She knows
that jan is an a a vulnerable place. And you talk
him into leaving. Yeah, he basically was like, um, he
was He was nice, and he was like, I'm gonna
I'm gonna go check on her. And I was like, please,
don't You've done enough, Like it's just you know, it's time.
(13:18):
He asked me again and I begged him and I
basically just said, please do not go in there, and
he said, I trust you, and he left and that's
when he found the server and that's when he gets
started at his truck. Yeah. It makes me want to
vomit just thinking about that. Yes. Wow. Uh. And of
course there's been no communication since because now they're can't
(13:40):
be right, Um, just that we just talked about the kids.
I mean I have texted him, and I mean, be honest,
I've texted him a bunch and been like how you
know why, and like this isn't what I wanted and
it's not fair. But um, I officially signed the paperwork
last week and that was that was like the hardest
(14:01):
of all the days, just like seeing like the signatures
and like and not being what I want and like
what I wanted for my family. That was that was like,
that was a very hard day. UM. And I called
him after I signed the papers and I told him
it was signed, and you know, I expressed to him
(14:22):
like everything that I was, Like. I know I wasn't
a perfect wife, but I would have fought till I
would have fought forever for this family and for you
and for like you know, and and I just said,
from here on out, I've you know, I'm going to
stop with the y in the house because now I
have to move on. But yeah, anyways, can we take
(14:46):
it to say, I really I just want to stay
real quick that the fact that Davon Franklin's on the
day is perfect because he is going to make you
feel like you can conquer the world. I love that
guy good because I need a little help with that. Alright, guys,
let's take a break and then, UM, we've got some
too awesome guests coming on. Okay, very excited because we
(15:18):
have Tara Taylor coming on. UM. For more information on Tara,
you can actually go to Tara Taylor dot c A
and she's an internationally renowned intuitive counselor. First, can we
just talk about because even Catherine, when you know we're
reading the breakdown or like intuitive counselor, so, how do
you how do you even do that? Like how do
you start with that? Sure? So the definition, you know,
(15:42):
intuitive counselor means above the board. Like, so anything that
has to trust with your intuition, we call it spidy sense.
We call it, uh, you know, your your gut feeling.
It's really kind of who we are. We're all intuitive being.
Some of us just experience in a different way. So
for example, Jenna, you're a feeler hands down, So another
word would be EmPATH right, Um, so that's kind of
how we all work. For me, when I was a
(16:03):
little girl, I just kind of knew things without knowing
how I knew them, or I would see them, or
I would experience or hear things, you know, like any
good parent. I got test for bipolars but personality, when
I was a little I would say, well, Papa would
come and talk to me, and they'd be like, oh,
she's dreaming right, And over time, you know, and then
over time they thought okay, maybe she's onto something because
(16:23):
I how do I know certain things that were coming
out of my mouth. Now this is around the age
of seven, so these are just kind of my parents
tell me more stories, and I really remember kind of
what's going on, because you don't know what's different until
you're told it's different. I didn't think it was different, right,
So but I've dedicated my whole life. So after all
that happened, and this was in the early eighties, I'm Canadian,
as you're gonna hear my accent come out in a
(16:43):
couple of ways. Um, so what happens is and they
came back and they said, well, she's got this ESP
thing like have a nice life, and that was that
was it. You know if there wasn't anything at that
time that really understood how I understand like what I
was experiencing wise experiencing it, you know what this intuition
thing was, ESP. Extra sense perception like all of this,
(17:04):
and back then there just wasn't the same sort of information,
at least it wasn't for me as a young person
or for my parents. So I dedicate my life now
twenty plus years of helping people with the highly intuitive
children or just people with intuition in general, So people
come and see me for sessions because I don't like
to define it as a psychic, a medium, all those
(17:24):
like all of the above, because that's kind of what
I do. I don't know anything different. But I'm very,
very professional at what I do because to me, it's
about how do I spread love? Like how do I
help people understand that so they can, you know, have
the same connection with God the way I do. We
all have the same connection. It's just learning how to
work with it. We all kind of have this like
light switch that turns off. Well, mine just didn't. So
(17:46):
people call me either extra sensitive or I'm highly intuitive.
To me, I'm just tear. At the end of the day,
I thought everybody was like this, Like I said, but
I help people kind of get back in touch with
that and to trust that inner voice. Yeah, I mean
that inner voice is something too, especially because we all
have that gut feeling, that gut intuition. But it's how
do you, like, if if you're gonna tell me things
(18:08):
right now, like, how would I actually receive that and
listen to it? Like how do you tell people that
you work with to be like listen to your gut,
listen to your intuition. So for me, it's more of
like we all have a spiritual entourage, divine team, whatever
you want to call it. So when we come into
this life, we have these loved ones or beings or
whatever you want to call God, same, divine, all all
(18:28):
the same that guide us through making sure that we're
going to fulfill a certain purpose in this life. We're
all born with a purpose and then we go home.
When we come back, we do it again and again
and again. And that's kind of kind of people talk
about source progression or life purpose journey. So in my experience,
when I go into kind of helping somebody understand their intuition,
it's more I'll receive this, I'll know something about you
(18:51):
that how would I know? And so that's validation saying
I knew that I needed to do that, I knew
my intuition was saying that. So I'm just kind of
really crystal clear when things come at me, I don't
question them. I just let it happen. We all have
a beautiful ego. They're gonna be wrong. The ego totally
needs a new publicist, and it's it's misunderstood Okay, it's
totally misunderstood. The ego is only designed to challenge the
(19:13):
infinite self when we're on the right path. Does that
make sense? Can you say it one more time? Yeah,
the ego was designed to only challenge the infinite self
when we're on the right path. So how do we
learn how to love if we don't experience hate? How
do we learn to forgive if we don't have something
to not forgive? You have like unforgiveness, all of these things,
(19:34):
there's all of these areas that we go into. What
is the opposite of that experience? How do I truly
know I'm divine love if I don't experience the opposite
of that? To remember who I am and what I'm
doing here? Right? And this kind of goes into Jenna,
I mean, things that have been going on with you
and just intuitively your knowing no way back in the
day and so you do. We talk and I see
(19:55):
lots of people kind of coming and going in my
body just doesn't hold onto those sort of things, like
I always remember a beautiful energy. I don't remember what
we talked about because I focus on the task at hammer,
what's happening in that moment, I just let myself be
in the moment and let come out what's supposed to
come out. Again, I don't question what comes out. Um.
I think kind of the journey that you're on right
now is going into another phase, like you will woken.
(20:15):
You will woken to this new um knowing, nous or
intuitiveness that's been hitting you for quite some time. But
there was a fear really jumping into that because there
are certain things that stem from your childhood the way
that you would view relationships, and it started with your parents, Honey,
it started with your dad and trying to find home
and trying to find home with um, certain men in
your life, and there's been certain things that have been
(20:36):
repetitive in your life that it's kind of like your
need to be a family or base a family or
having this family let's say agenda has now come up
because you realize that you're already born complete. No one
completes you, okay, like your primary relationship is with God
as as as like clear as I could get with that.
We look from the time we're born, we're kind of
(20:58):
taught this fairy tale let someone else come com pleats us,
that something outside of us completes us. Everything is within.
There's a teaching that goes like this, like Jesus would
say things like, and to his disciples, you know, do
not build temples. God lives here and he would point
out his chest or you could look at you know,
stayings by Buddha. Budda would say things like in the text,
(21:20):
everything outside of ourselves as ignorance. Everything is within. So
every set of religion tradition talks about the sense that
we are all connected to the same place. We are
all kind of put into this spighty sense of knowing
our truth. So and we all have this kind of
pattern or something that we're here to learn. And Jenny,
you're kind of stepping into this knowing nous that was
always there. There's just part of you that didn't want
(21:41):
to trust it because there was a part of you
that may have wanted something, but it was in love
with the idea of somebody not really who they were.
Does that make sense? Okay? So intuitively, you know, I
could rhyme off a bunch of things, say like I
know that you're meant to go into the different days,
Like I know you're meant to have children, I know
that you're gonna get that person that comes to the
(22:02):
same values as you do, and and all that sort
of stuff. I know that all of those things are
going to work out for you because you're stepping into
your greatness. Now, you're listening to your soul. There was
a time before where you weren't listening. You were looking
outside of yourself for those answers and looking for something
or someone to complete that part of yourself that felt
that need to um feel this completeness. But that completeness
was always there, and you're finally seeing that light within
(22:23):
yourself to step into that. That makes sense. Yeah, um,
so this is what you know. I kind of want
to share with you is that intuitively, what you're being
called to task to you right now is to find
forgiveness for things that you may not understand. M is
to look at somebody and say, I can have love
(22:44):
for you, but I don't need to love your behavior
because something would have brought you together with all let's say,
all of our past relationships and always like you would
have loved for that person. They may hurt you, they
may do things to spite you, they may um disrespect you,
but there was a time where you were in the uh,
you share dinners together, you had these experiences, you have children,
whatever that is, there was a time. So somebody does
(23:06):
something that doesn't stand up to the same value that
you have the ideas to have compassion for it. But
it doesn't mean you have to condone the behavior, nor
doesn't mean that you need to stay in something that
doesn't vibrate at the same alignment that you're at. M
You either grow together or you grow apart. There's no
in between. So sometimes we just have to say tata
for now. We'll continue all this journey, just not the
(23:28):
way we were doing it before. And that's really kind
of where you're at is learning that you were complete
your whole and now it's allowing to see that you
can have somebody in your life but not looking for
something to complete you in it. That makes sense then,
you know, and God is going to bring you into that.
You know, this is this is kind of the awakening
that has been bestowed on you. Beautifully is coming into
(23:49):
your own shining your light. You have all these amazing
things coming up for you. Um, I can just it's
kind of like I use this example like I see
it's almost like I watch people's movies and things come
up at me and I can really see how things
are going to pan out, Like I feel like there's
something important. Um, God loving honey. I don't listen to
your music, but you must be a singer, because I
just keep seeing all this music stuff that's coming up
that you're supposed to be going into. Like some of
(24:11):
us have to shed our skins to go to the
next level, or think of like a snake shedding its skin.
And there's just certain things that we're holding you back.
And sometimes it is a relationship, sometimes it's a friendship.
Sometimes it's our own personal things that we do in
our self sabotaging. So this was something that was distracting
you from not allowing you to fulfill your destiny here,
so that had to be let go to jump into
(24:31):
the next thing. So everything is a series of beginnings
and endings, beginnings and endings in our whole life. And
that's the journey that you're starting to see. And when
you pull back, which I know intuitably you've been doing,
to really see like what's the issue here? What has
actually gone on? You know, I have accomplished what I
wanted to do out of this relationship I still have
love for at that certain person, but I no longer
(24:54):
want to continue down this path because it doesn't make
me feel connected in the way that I want to feel.
I felt more alone in this than I felt connected.
So that tells you something, and that means when we
feel alone, it means we're not connected to our God's center.
So we're never really truly alone. We have the angels
God to all this beautiful energy around us all the time.
(25:14):
The sense of loneliness really just means that you're not
in touch inside. You're not in tuning to your own
soul's growth and your soul's voice. That's all that that is.
So no one can really hurt you if you allow
it to. But when you realize you're already complete and
you're already in that place, you'll just guide through that
and you'll look at that person with compassion and love
and just say, I just don't choose to love that behavior,
(25:34):
and I choose to move on this path. If you
want to meet me with my value is great. If
you don't, I have to let it go. That's sometimes
is a way of truly loving somebody when we let
go of conditions and how we want someone to be
versus what they really are. That makes sense. So you know,
forgiveness isn't something that happens overnight, and you can forgive
something within yourself or someone within yourself. Um, but you've
(25:59):
been on this journey for so long that I'm sure
this has been a breath of fresh air kind of
coming into the decision that you needed to do. And
anybody can look afar and say, you know, this person
should do that or could have done that, It doesn't matter.
Everybody has their own journey and they need to learn
on their own and their epiphanies will come, and all
we need to do is hold the space for everybody
so they learn on their own path. You know, to
(26:21):
judge really come from a place of being judgmental. To
really love is to really be present and to support
whatever journey that person is on, no matter if we
like it or not. Right, you get what I'm saying.
It's like, I don't think you've ever liked my Well,
it's been a hard one to learn and to sit
back and watch. But you know, I just said earlier,
(26:42):
Terra that I very much believe in timing, and I
think that the timing for this for her it had
to be this time. It couldn't have been two times
before when I thought that she should have been done,
you know, I mean it wasn't It wasn't her path
and it wasn't her timing. And I think that's yeah,
it lines up really well. Yeah, and that's Janda, that's
what you said like a couple of years ago. I
(27:03):
guess when we had spoken. We've come full circle, which
a lot of people come back to seeing me, which
is great. So I'm happy because I want to spread
love that way, you know, and teach people to empower
themselves and trusting their intuition. But that was it. It's like,
no matter what message was delivered at that time, it
served a purpose to sit there and when you were
ready to listen and receive it, it was available to you.
Nothing's lost in the eyes of God, honey, it's just
(27:24):
the journey we have to walk. Like, how do we
know what we want when we don't experience what we
don't want? Right? So everything is a blessing no matter
what it is, you know, especially this experience now that
you've just been through energetically has taught you that there's
this place where you can look at somebody and thank
them from reminding you to love yourself. Like what if
(27:45):
this whole experience was exactly the way it was, so
it reminded you to step into your power. So instead
of saying I dislike you, I hate you, I just
despise anything to say thank you for reminding me of
who I am, the love that I hold, and my
gone set through that I'm supposed to do here in
this life. I love that. Wasn't that the blessing? Yeah?
(28:05):
I love that? Because I have had so much like
hate and like anger for like ruining the family and
stuff and what I wanted, and because, like you said,
like you know, I grew up in a divorce family,
so I always said, like when I have kids, I
will I will not let that happen. And so that's
been the biggest disappointment for me that I feel like
I failed them. And but but to to your point,
(28:28):
like what you just said, like one day I hope
to be like thank you, like because I'll have found
my worth even though it was you know that was
that person was trying to take it, you know, but
it really wasn't like that they had their own issues
with their own self worth too. So it's not so.
I just I would love to be able to have
(28:48):
that one day, to just be like thankful for it.
And you will, because we'll come full circle again at
some point in our lives and we'll have this conversation
like remember when you told me I'll be able to
look at him with love and forgiveness. I'm like, I'm there.
It doesn't bother. I said, I told you, honey, you
will get there right now. You have to grieve. A
loss is a loss is a loss. It's all the same,
a death, a relationship. So you just have to grieve
(29:08):
all those moments. It's okay to be angry. You know.
When we're little, girls were told, you know, be a
good girl, be smile. Girls don't are allowed to get angry.
You know. There's all these kind of fixed beliefs that
are bestowed upon us. But it's okay to be angry.
So to say like, I don't like your behavior. I've
got love for that, but I don't like that, and
I need space right now and I need my boundaries
because I need to heal through this. That's more powerful,
and that's being honest about how your emotions are. You
(29:31):
saying like I can still you know, like things about you,
but I don't have to like this, that and everything
else about you. So it's it's really about you set
the boundaries, like no one can take anything from you.
No one can really hurt you unless you allow them to, right.
So that's really where it goes, is that you are
really in that place. So any time that you feel
that you're being lonely or or separated out, or that
(29:51):
anger starts, to sit be with it and be like,
I'm going to express this anger. I'm gonna grab my
junk journal, I'm gonna start writing, and it can be
the most culpful words you want to use. No one's
ever going but read it. No one's gonna look at us.
Nobody's business. Okay, you can call them all the names
under the sun or whoever that is you want to
direct that energy to. Then rip it up and throw
it out. Just because you're feeling anchor doesn't mean it's
your truth and doesn't mean who you really are. It's
(30:11):
just a it's an emotion. We're emotional beings. I'm sure
you've heard this world saying that goes, you know where
these spiritual beings having emotional moments on earth, like that's
really what we are, and we're fully present in our
ego and all of that's there. It's like we are
meant to experience this fully and holy honey, and it's
gonna hurt sometimes and it's gonna be uncomfortable. There's this
little kind of secret that no one really talks about,
(30:31):
and I love really kind of bringing it up. Is
that our soulmate relationships are the ones that are going
to challenge us the most to grow. They're not easy.
It's not unicorns and rainbows and fun times. No, they
make us grow. So that's really what it is. And
that's kind of when I go back to thanking that
person saying thank you reminding me of my life, thank
you for reminding me my God center, and thank you
for allowing me to grow. And now I've outgrown this
(30:53):
and I bless your path just as I'm asking you
to bless mine. You know, that's really what is the
dynamic here. So you know, anybody can chime in on
comment and say, well you should have done this, should
have done that. You know them themselves are coming into
this have not been through that because they would not
judge it if they did. Does that make sense, you know,
(31:14):
so it really comes. Everybody's going to have opinion, But
anybody that has gone through the darkness to see the
light will just hold the space, honey. That's what they do.
They hold the space or a soft place for you
to fall, let all the emotions out, and help you
work through that emotion so you come out of the
other side the version what you were born to be,
which is light and love and to inspire and and
just beat. That's all you need to do. Just be
(31:35):
mm hmm. I like that. Do we do we see
a happy ending at the end of all of this
or one hundred and a bazillion percent percent? But I
really would love you to reflect on and into it.
Like I said, you have gods, you have loved ones
that are here. Like that's that's great, that's all there.
But that's not really what the focus. What why you
(31:56):
and I are crossing paths again. The focus is to
remind you that fullal here we are again, right, is
that there you are receiving these messages and to trust
it more and more and more and not to delay them.
Is that you are connected to the same place I am.
Everyone is, and it's it's trusting, not and that it
may not be an alignment with what you think you
(32:16):
want at the time, but that saying does go Sometimes
God doesn't give us what we want, gives us what
we need, okay, And that you needed to kind of
go through all of this, and that you are going
to be coming to that vibrational alignment with someone who
has the same values, that wants those same things. And
let me just put it this way. You know, you
(32:37):
live a very public life. I mean, it's obvious. It's
kind of like an emails. I'm like, are you sure
you want to have this conversation? You know, I always
give all my clients because you know, I've got a lot.
I've got a lot of public, very high profile people
that I talked with on a regular basis, you know,
and I helped them through these sort of things. But
the thing is, for me, not everybody likes it public
and stuff do and it's just more of a personality thing.
So I'm always double check. I'm like, are you sure
(32:57):
this is what you want? You know, I just want
to double check because things may come out that you
may not be comfortable. So it's all good, and I
think the wrongness and being authentic and This is most
important part because you are helping and healing people through this.
You know other people are listening right now, going, yes,
this resonates. Yes, I understand that this is what I've
wanted to achieve, This is what I wanted to forgive.
This is how I need to remind myself when I'm
kind of up against the wall and something like what
(33:19):
would love do in this situation? People say, what would
Jesus do? What? But what would love to love? Would
find compassion, loveould find all these sort of things. So
you come into this beautiful alignment with who you are
and where you vibrate so that person gets there. And
I think you hit it on the head when you
said about your ax. You know he was dealing with
his worthiness issues. A person that truly truly loves themselves
(33:41):
and isn't a place of peace doesn't go and do
things that would hurt the person that they're with. I
don't believe that this was intentional at all. I believe
this person is going through their own sufferings. So this
is where we hold that space for that person and
say I don't like that, but I can understand, and
you need to get help. And this is how you
(34:01):
need to get help, right. You know, I think we're
so quick to point fingers at other people, saying you
wronged me, I wronged you, You're bad, I'm good. Like
we do this instead of really looking at the bigger
picture to say, where do I need to be kind
in this? Where do I need to find love in this?
Where do I need to set my boundaries? But where
do I need to hold that space for them? And
sometimes holling that space is literally like cutting off the
(34:24):
lifeline and just saying, here's here's some help, this is
what you need to go do. But that's like you're
going to move on from that. But here's my little
intuitive hit, like this isn't done here. You know, you
still have a journey with this person that isn't fully
completed yet. You may be signing on the divorce paper, sunny,
but it's it's not done. So there's still some growth
here that's going to happen. And I think it's important
(34:44):
that you do spend time internalizing and working with your
God's center and your love center and all those things
and rebuilding that relationship with yourself so you feel that
strength to work through these next steps. But you will
align as you go through that with a person that
is connected to what you want, because the two of
you didn't have the same wants in life, and that's
(35:05):
what ended up happening, is that you both went on
different paths. At one point you did okay that that
again it's a soul mate relationship. But then it became
to an end. And so it started due to the
fork in the road and split and then we fight
and then we hired them. We can't trust and we
dislike and it just starts to get worse and worse
and worse before it gets better. But I'm sure you
felt that overwhelming sense of relief when it finally was done,
Like you no longer felt like you had to walk
(35:26):
in eggshells or you were fearful of something happening. It
was like it was almost like a bittersweet moment, right,
Does that make sense? Yeah, it's like something sets you free. Yep, Tara,
I I so appreciate you. And where can our listeners? Um,
where can they find you? Where can you help them
give us all the info? Sure, you can go to
Tarry Taylor dot c a Canadian candidate. So Terry Teler
(35:48):
dot c A you can find me there, um you
can find me. I don't spend a lot of time
on social media. I'm just one of those I'm too
busy doing sessions and those sort of things. But you
can see me on Facebook. I don't go on there,
but people tend to follow me on Instagram. I think
it's Tara Taylor, Indigo or Intuitive or something like that.
But if you go on my website you can see
all that information and then soon you'll start seeing I'm
kind of behind the scenes doing some writing projects um
(36:11):
in Hollywood, so that would be very very exciting. Yeah. Yeah,
So for me, it's about spreading love and how do
we help that generation. We've got to do it in
a way that teaching the new ways on how to
work with her intuition. That's not so woe. Yeah, for sure.
I love that. Well, Tara, thank you so much for
coming on Wine Down. Appreciate it very very very much.
God bless you, honey. You take care, You'll be just fine. Okay,
(36:32):
thanks Tara, all right, by girl. My soul has been
spoken to love. That's so good. But I am very
excited to um have Devon Franklin on next. He's incredible
and he's got a new book out called Live Free,
So I'm excited to talk to him about everything and
hopefully he can inspire us all. Be back in a
(36:54):
sec Divine. Hey, I'm Janna. This is Katherine. What's going on?
(37:15):
Hey good? How are you? Oh? My goodness? Like I
cannot thank you enough for coming on this podcast, of course. No, no,
you know. Amy reaches out and says, it's for y'all.
I'm like, hey, I'm here. Can I just have some
of that energy and like, personally, you're just so you're
you're like your light is just you're just you're happy.
(37:38):
Oh well, I try. Right now, I'm feeling a little scruffy.
I'm in pre production on my next movie, so I'm like, man,
I'm in it, but I'm like, you know what, it's cool.
I'm just gonna come through however, I am. I'm glad
the energy is right. Yeah, No, you're you're you have
a great energy, very light. I like, it's it's im
I need some of that right now. I'm going through
just a real real bad, yucky divorce and it's just
(37:59):
I just um any any and all like things that
you can give me to just like get me up
and feeling happy and positive, because feeling just like defeated
and worried and anxious. What makes you feel the most defeated? Um?
Sorry any time talking about my kids to get upset,
(38:22):
just that I let my kids down. Mhm, you know,
just like I mean, I guess, I you know, I've
officially was the one that ended things. You know, I
had to walk away because it wasn't right anymore. Um,
it was, it was bad. But I think, you know,
(38:44):
just growing up with expectations, and I know in your
new book Live Free, like you talk about expectations, and
so I had this expectation for myself and for my family,
and now that I couldn't live up to that expectation
and have that perfect family for them, I have a
lot of guilt about that. I'm curious what you do
(39:05):
with expectations and how you can kind of redirect my
way of thinking. Yeah, I mean, you know, first of all,
I mean it's I think it's courageous of you to
be as transparent as you are and to be as
in touch with how you're feeling. Um. I think also,
(39:25):
you know, where did that idea you know, this is
what perfection looks like? Where does that come from? Because
if you look at it from the opposite, Okay, if
I were to stay in something that was untrue, if
I were to stay in something that is against who
(39:45):
I am just for the image, what has that then
project to your children? So the idea that you you
are modeling, no matter what, no matter how the chips
may fall, no matter how difficult, call put your truth
as your light. That doesn't sound like defeat to me.
(40:08):
That sounds like victory because you're displaying. Yo, this is difficult,
it's hard. But again, and I don't know all the
particulars alleged of decision, and no one needs to know
those those particulars, um, but you know why you made
the decision, and you know that it was a decision
that you felt you needed to make, and so owning
(40:31):
that and not and not trying to live up to
because because I guess what, your kids don't have the
expectation that you do. They just have an expectation of
being loved, cared for. Heard, when they're hungry they want food. Hey,
when I want some shoes, MoMA not needs some shoes.
You know that. That's it. It's like hey, And so
sometimes we come into a situation, um, you know, especially
you know, you're a marriage, Like, here's what I wanted
(40:53):
it to be, and this was my expectation of it
and and the reality and the expectation. If we don't
reckon sildbos too, it can be devastating. Um So I
would just say specifically on this part of it, you know,
just to not look at yourself and defeat. That's that's
an energy that's not going to bring you anything. You know,
you're courageous, you you you are victorious, you are are
(41:18):
are a warrior for your truth and that no one
can take it from you, and you shouldn't take it
from yourself either, you know, to stand up and do
what you're doing and to say what you're saying, and too,
you know, finally say hey, you know, I gotta be respected.
I gotta have boundaries, because boundaries are a sign of love.
(41:39):
I love myself enough to know when certain bounties have
been crossed and I've got to do the work to
repair those boundaries by making a difficult choice that I
believe will impact the rest of my life and my
children's life in a positive way. So that's your truth,
that's your path, and I would just encourage you to
work on looking at it more from from an advantage
(42:01):
point of victory, not defeat. Mhm, yeah like that. How
do you like it? You know? Your book is called
titled Live Free. What what is living free to you?
Look like? Um? You know, living free to me looks like, Um,
I get to control how I feel. I get to
(42:23):
control how I live. I get to decide the expectations
that I meet. Um, I don't give anyone the power
to make me feel the way I don't want to feel.
You know. So in the book I talk about the
definition of living free is not being under the mental, emotional,
or physical control of anyone or anything. That I am
the keeper of my happiness. I am the keeper of
(42:46):
my emotions. I am the keeper of my expectations. I'm
the keeper of my desk. So that's what I say.
That's what I mean by living free, like free to
be who I am, not who people expect me to be,
because that image is a prison. It's a prison because
then I get into that prison. And I talked about
this in the book, you know. I mean I grew
(43:07):
up people call me Mr. Perfect and I thought that
was a great thing. And if I got older, I
said this is terrible as a prison because the persona
then becomes the bars by which I had to live
to because people have never expected to make a mistake.
But I'm like, I'm human, I'm gonna make mistakes. So
I first had of letting myself out of the prison.
I'm like, yo, I'm not perfect. And then too, I
(43:28):
had to not worry about how people perceive me so much,
because that perception also creates a prison. You know, Okay,
everybodys expecting you to be divone and what that means
and and and all of that. It's like, well, no, yeah,
I gotta be me, and in a certain moment, I
might be a little different than what you think I am,
but I can't allow your thought to be my thought
(43:49):
about myself. That's freedom, that's freedom, and that's what I
talked about in this book because so often we're not
living free. So often most of the moves are made
because of how it looks. What people are gonna say,
what parents may say, what your friends may say, what
they may say, and we always focus on what they say.
(44:09):
What about what I say? M What about me taking
more say over my life? And that's what this book
is all about, Like taking the control back, taking the
authority back, and finding that freedom because I, in my experience,
I see so many people living for everybody else, doing
what everybody else wants them to do. Over obligated, stressed out,
(44:31):
not happy. Why Because they're trying to be everything to
everybody and they're really being nothing to themselves. So when
I talk about being living free, it's about saying, yeah,
you know what, I'm committed to everyone else as well being,
but I'm first committing committed to mine. Because if I
don't take care of my well being, I can't take
(44:52):
care of your well being. If I don't fill me up,
I can't fill you up. I talk about this filled cups,
field cups. So if I'm filled up, I got something
to get. But if I'm not filled up, I can't
give you anything. So this is the path to me
about freeing. This is what it means. To live for
you means like, what is keeping me back? What is
keeping me captive emotionally, physically, mentally, And let me do
(45:15):
everything I can to break out of that because my
real piece, my happiness, my contentment, is in the freedom
to be who are. I hear that, and I love that.
I'm just curious if there's ever because I remember, you know,
my my X and I we had wrote a book
together and it was it was one of those things
where I almost felt like we had to live up
(45:39):
to this expectation, you know, even though it was, um,
you know, I was fighting a good fight, like doing
these things, but you know, um, I'm wonder for you, like,
is that hard where it's like, you know, because you
are you have all these different hats that you wear,
and you you know, your motivational speaker, and you write
you know, amazing book and it's like, do you ever
(46:01):
sometimes feel like even in your relationship or you're just
like like you almost feel like like I kind of
felt like a well, I was a con artist after
that book came out because I'm like it was real
for me, but it wasn't for him. So it's just like,
do you ever struggle with that? I know you have listen.
It's so great that we can have that conversation. It's
(46:21):
very few people then I talked to have co authored
a book with their spouse, so it's like, okay. So
so that part of it is like, you know, I've
had to get to the place and we've had to
get to the place where we don't let that book,
that image become the prison by which we live. So
(46:44):
you're right, there's no doubt the moment, you know. And
when we wrote our book the way, you know, we
just did it because that was our truth. You know,
I'm like, hey, this is our true let's go talk
about it. We were not fully cognizant of the expect
pation that came with that. It was huge and it
was an amazing book too, by the way. We got
sent that book and it was it was incredible, but yeah,
(47:08):
well there you go. So it was like, okay, yeah,
we just wrote this book because you know, oh yeah,
we should do it. We want to tell our story
help others. The intent was great. The intended nothing to
do with but we see everything to do with building
people up. However, to your point, coming out of it
in the book being so successful, at times, there has
been this like oh, we gotta we gotta live up
(47:29):
to that, and that created a lot of pressure for
for her, it created a lot of pressure for me,
and I think that, you know, just recently we were
getting to the place where we are okay with being
different than how we were when we wrote that book.
We're okay with, you know, saying hey, we believe in
what we wrote, but we don't. But we have our
(47:52):
down days to you know what I mean, Like like
people see that image on that cover and they're like,
that's what I want, and that is and that is
a trap because we're all fallible, we all fall short
of the glory of God, we all make mistakes. And
the intent for us and putting that image out there
wasn't to say, hey, we want you all to aspire
to this. No, we want you to aspire to your truth.
(48:16):
And so we have personally we love the message and
we'll continue to talk about the message, but we've had
to also get to the place where we are okay
with knowing that our journey is our journey. There are
some moments in some days. Our truth is our truth,
and we have really tried to resist the temptation to
try to live up to what that image is. That
(48:38):
was our truth, then this is our truth. Now we're
on a journey. Every day, we're changing, we're growing, we're
being But like, if I feel like I gotta show
up and be like, hey, that's the way guys, like
you know, I don't feel that I feel like, yeah,
I'm gonna show up. It's divine to day, you know,
and and hey let's go where it goes. But um,
I I feel like, you know, very few people have
(48:58):
been able to talk to you know, who've been able
to who have had that experience of like there you are,
your love is on the cover, and that love becomes
the image. So I understand what you're saying, and it's
something that we, uh, you know, that we just work
to not allow to creep into our our marriage and
become disrupted. What do you say to the people that
are stuck that can't get out of you know, their
(49:21):
depression or um, like I've given very vulnerable uh example,
Like I I have a really hard time being alone
and so you know, I've since my ex has moved
out and I'm just alone in the house. Obviously my
kids and you know are in bed, but um I
(49:41):
just sit in my literally sit in my living room,
and I'm like I don't even know what to do.
Like I just feel like I was like I would
love to like go do this or do that? Like
how do I get myself to be like to unstick
myself from from that kind of just like staring at
the walls, like at my walls are just like dark
and closing in. Okay, Um, you know what comes to
(50:06):
mind is, um, this is gonna sound like a total tangent,
but it's coming to your preach. So so what I
was when I was younger, you know, I think I
had to be Like in the third grade, I was
over a friend of mine house after school, and uh,
we were playing hide and go seek. There are a
(50:28):
bunch of us, and so everybody went to go hide,
and I was the one that was there waiting to
go find everybody. So I count to ten and say, okay,
all right, ready or not? Here I come and I
run and um, I run into something. I'm not quite
sure what it is, but I feel it I'm and
I said, oh, it's okay. And I tried to keep
(50:48):
going to find the people that were hide and my
friends that were hiding. And I realized, oh man, I
couldn't move. You know something, I really hit something. And
so I looked down at my left knee and cut
wide open. And I realized that I had run past
the flower bed and there was a piece of wood
sticking out and it literally sliced my knee wide open. Yeah,
(51:11):
and I couldn't and I couldn't when I go when
I went to move it literally blood just poured out
of it. So I had to call for help. They came,
they said, oh my goodness, They wrapped my knee up,
They called my mother, They rested me to the hospital
get emergency surgery, and I was in I was in
the hospital for a number of days, and then it
was in the past for a couple of weeks. The
(51:32):
reason why I shared that, Sorry, I don't mean to
be morbid, but I share that because when you talk about,
you know, being alone or not staring at the walls,
I think you have to acknowledge the level of of
of of pain and trauma and hurt that you have
(51:53):
that you're coming through. So the expectation of just getting
back into life and getting things going. It's like you're
hurt and it's okay, Like it's so like. I think
part of it is maybe like you know, saying to
yourself in those moments, it's okay, m um, right where
(52:14):
I need to be, It's all right, you know, without
any sort of pressure or feeling like, oh man, I
need to be doing this or I don't want to
do that. It's like you're resetting your entire life and
that's just gonna take some time. And sometimes those quiet
moments are the most powerful moments because you're gonna get
(52:36):
revelation and downloads on what to do and how to
do and and maybe even things that okay to here
some tweaks that you want to make. So I would
just encourage you to embrace the discocomfort. Embrace it. There
may be times you in your place by yourself, the
kids are going you scream, scream, Embrace it. Embrace it
(52:58):
because when you think about what's happening, and you know,
and again from what you're sharing, is like there's like
a it's like a rebirth. You know, it's a rebirth.
There's a rebuilding. And in order for anything to be reborn,
whatever it was has to die. When you think about
the caterpillar, it goes into that cocoon. That cocoon looks
(53:23):
like death, but it's actually the vehicle for life because
it's changing. That cocoon is changing. It's not dying. You
can feel like it. It's tight, it's dark, it's it's
it's it's it's it's damp, you know, but it's being transformed.
So that's when you think about, you know, that isolation.
It's like, yo, you are being transformed. The world has
(53:46):
not even yet seen the light and the love, and
the and and the power with which you will come
forth out of all of this. So that's not an
easy answer to your question. Um, but I would just
resist the temptation to push through those uncomfortable moments because
(54:06):
they're really going to be some of the most valuable
moments I think in this journey that you're on, Von,
You're just speaking to my soul right now. I just
I love you. Where can our listeners find everything that
you do, especially the cute little book that you and
your wife were out, because that's the picture for a
(54:29):
big book. Oh man, we'll get the new book. They
get that, but we'll get a living, get a living free,
you know. Um. Yeah, you find me on my website
Davon Franklin dot com. I'm on Instagram at Davon Franklin,
same with Twitter and Facebook. Well, Devon, thank you so
much for coming on. I appreciate it more than you know.
And yeah, I just I really appreciate it and I'm
(54:54):
excited to read live. I can't wait for you to
read it order now you neednything? Thank you let me know. Okay, awesome,
thanks to Von. Appreciated. I mean, come on, I love
him love I just want like a you know what
I want. I wanted daily affirmations from Devon. That's what
(55:15):
I need him to do, daily Devon affirmations. Can I
tell you what I was thinking about a lot of
the time he was talking the day I don't know
how many days after, And I told you that I
was excited. Remember what I told you. I was excited
and you looked at me and You're like excited, and
I was like, yes, I'm excited for you. It's that,
it's everything that he said, like a change is coming,
(55:38):
and it's and you know it's going to come at
some point. You're just in the middle of it. But
I'm so excited. I'm about to be a damn butterfly
mark the world. I'm about to find my little butterfly
arms out. I'm with Catherine. I think it's it's exciting.
It really is, because this next chapter was inevitable and
(56:01):
now it can finally begin. Amen what he said, Yeah,
I'm excited to fly. I'm shedding right now, shedding. And
then I'm gonna spread my wings and then everybody is
gonna just you know, uh yeah, well it'll be a
(56:22):
good how do I say it? Um? Oh, thank everyone
while I'm like flying up in this guy. Thanks, I
love you. You were right. I'm sorry to do a
twitter oh man. Well, great show guys, and um see
(56:43):
you next week
Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast.
I am pumped about today's episode Mark Eastern. Are you
guys excited beyond Beyond? Mark? You have not been here
for a minute. What's going on with you? I have not.
You kind of left me hanging there for a little bit.
You know, I have so many different things and I
(00:22):
want to be here every time, and some weeks it
just doesn't work out. But I'm here now. We should
focus on that, all right, focus on the positive, right,
that's all about the positive. Um. Well, you know who
is here who hasn't left my side is my best
friend Katherine. Hey, guys, Hi Catherine? Are you so? I
don't know if you listen to last week's episode. Did
(00:44):
you listen to it? No? You didn't. I kind of
mentioned you. I'm worried. That's why I haven't listened yet. No.
I I mentioned you because I told the story about
the night after I filed for divorce and I had
to take the kids to school and you were in
(01:05):
the kitchen and I came out and I was having
like a full blown panic attack and I was just like,
I can't take the kids to school, and you were
like and I was waiting for you to say I'll
take them. I know, I know you were, and you
didn't say it, and I'm like, why isn't she saying
she'll take the kids? I can't you see him having
a panic attack on the floor and I'm sweating and
I'm crying, and I'm like, and you were like, you
(01:29):
didn't even give me a day. You tough love me
so fast. Well, first off, I didn't realize us mad
the night, so I had no contacts in Okay, let's
just start there, so I knew I physically was not
driving your kids to school. Um, but I did say, Hey,
we're gonna have this panic attack right now, and then
we're gonna get better and we're gonna take your kids
to school and it's gonna be fine, and then you
(01:50):
can come home and then you can cry for the
next four hours. I did say that, Yeah, and my
tough loved you. I'm sorry, no, no, but I think
it was you tough love me. But I think I
needed it because in that moment, that day was the
determining factor if I was going to let anxiety rule
my life or not, because I was just like, I've
(02:10):
never done anything by myself. You know, it was always
like Mike and I and it was like we did
this together, and we did that together, and the thought
of doing something by myself gave me so much anxiety
that I was like, I don't even know if I
can physically drive my kids, which I know I'm capable,
but when I'm in that state, I don't feel like
I'm capable of doing anything. And I was like, I
don't even know if I can drive them ten minutes,
(02:31):
which is actually like eight minutes their school. But that's
how like messed up I was. But it was because
I felt like I came off I was coming off
of a drug and I had that like such terrible
anxiety that I was just and it was like, and
if you would have in a sense enabled me that day,
(02:52):
because in my mind, I'm like, God, catherinely Case, you see,
like I'm like having a massive panic attack and I
need you as my best friend to take my kids
to school. But it's like, give me a freaking week to, like,
you know, cry about this. Well, I think I know
you well enough to know that you needed for me
not to enable you right then. I mean, first of all,
I come from, you know, a drug addict, mother. You know,
(03:15):
I come from the past of addicts, and I've recognized
that in you. Um, and I know that me enabling
you in that moment, it would have been easy, Yes,
I mean could I physically have driven them. I mean
I would have been squinting, but I could have driven them.
It would have been ugly, But I knew that I
(03:36):
had to give you no choice. I couldn't come over
every day and take your kids to school. You know,
I can't do it. I have my own three kids.
I can't physically do that for you. Um. We can
hire somebody to do it for you, but you're not
going to feel good about yourself, you know. So it's
I knew you as a mother, you had to you know.
I gave you a few minutes. You had a few
minutes of your attack or you know, panic attack, I guess,
(03:59):
but um, but you did it, and you came home
and you asked me to stay, and I'll never forget.
I was like, all right, I'll stay as long as
she needs. You got back and you're like, all right,
you can go, And I was like, you know, sometimes
you just need and and I hate it because it
comes off kind of I'm not the most. You know,
I'm not the most loving, touching, nourishing person or not nourishing.
(04:19):
I ses it's the wrong word, but and I know
it can come off bad sometimes, but I think sometimes,
especially the way that you can be, I think that
you need it and then that you need the other
stuff too. But yeah, I mean, you know me more
than any of my my friends. And you know, like
in that moment, what I truly needed was that tough love.
And I think because of that, and I almost and
(04:43):
I say this to like, thank you too, because if
you would have done that, like I would have just
stayed in that anxious state. But it was like I
had to pull up my big girl pants on because
and that's what you said. You're like, you're a mom,
you got this. You've got two kids, you need to
do this. And and you know, yeah, did I bawl
(05:03):
my entire way home, like for sure, but you know
I had to also be like, okay, this is it
was just crazy, but it also brought me to that
place of the night that might get served. Um. It's
it was literally like a drug. I was like, I
need you. He can't come in this room because a
(05:23):
second if he comes in this room, I'm gonna probably
ask for him back, or I'm gonna beg for this,
or I'm gonna like or I'm gonna need like because
I need him. Like it was like literally like like
I need him, and you were you were like my
my person in the living room being like y'all, let
you explain it. It's kind of the bodyguard just kind
(05:44):
of terrifying. Um no, that's that's exactly right. You. You
and those in that moment had to have someone to
protect you from yourself. And it's not always easy to
be that person. But I can recognize that and you
and I think you know. I mean, I literally sat
in the living room while he went up and down
(06:04):
the stairs putting the kids to bed, doing whatever he was,
and I just sat there. I sat there on my
phone until he asked to come into your room, and
I said no, I said, please do not go in there.
You've done enough. Let her be, just let her be.
And the in the addict of me was like I
wanted him so badly to come in that room and
and hold me and love me and tell me he's
(06:26):
sorry and like and give me that hit, because that's
what I like, I needed it so bad. It's interesting though,
but you recognize it now, I do, but you did
on the front end because I was in the room
with you and you said, no, I need you to
go out there and make sure he does not come
in here. So you recognize it because I've done it
a million times. Yeah, It's like that's the thing. It's like,
(06:47):
how good is when someone's addicted to drugs? Like it's
I wanted that hit, but I also know what that
hit does to me, So it's I'm like, you know,
it's like that scene and walk the line where they're
like get out, like you know, the the comes a
good Johnny some more drugs. It's like you were that
person for me, and because I know that I couldn't
(07:07):
I would want to take that hit. I think that
you fully gave me permission this time too to do
those things, you know, Yeah, And I think this time
it was like, all right, this is the plan, this
is what I need you to do. And I had
the permission to do it and I wasn't going to
back down, where there have been times where I haven't
fully had that permission from you and you weren't ready.
(07:27):
And I'm I'm a firm believer in timing, and I
think that you know, the timing of this was just
different and it was the right time, and I think
we we all obviously know that. But you gave me
that permission this time. Whether you really wanted him to
come in the room or you really wanted him to
leave or whatever it was, you knew what you really
deep down needed, and you give me permission to be
that person. So I think that's why it kind of
(07:49):
it worked this time as easy as it wasn't, I know,
But you know, I'd love to get some kind of
specialists that deals with addiction beca I think being an
addict and love is like that is so that drug.
I mean that hit having that and and that um
codependency of the trauma bond, like all of it is
(08:11):
so it can mess you up so bad, even just
in like if you're just dating someone too, have you ever,
like I mean, I'm not a very codependent person, so
it's hard. I'm I'm almost too independent, So that's my
fault as that you know, I'm definitely too independent. Um,
but you're definitely a codependent person, which I mean in general,
(08:34):
and I mean it doesn't matter in a relationship and
a friendship and anything. You're a very codependent person, um,
and that's okay. I just think you have to figure
out now what that looks like and how you enjoy
your time alone and how you get to, you know,
really focus on yourself. And I think that that's kind
of the next step that will be hard for you. Mark.
(08:55):
What do you what do you think and when you
anything coming up for you? Because I'm know that I
mean a lot. I'm just trying to think of what
I can ask that's acceptable and what's not and what's
been First of all, the overwhelming thing I'm thinking is
what a great friend to have. I mean, my gosh.
Everybody should be so lucky to have a Katherine in
their life. I mean, that's amazing that she was there
(09:18):
for you, knew exactly what you needed in that moment.
That's selfless. So I'm very impressed with that, Katherine. But
also I'm just taken back to that night. So it
was Mike served at your house. Yeah, so it was
and that even like dealing with that. I mean it
felt like a movie, did it not. When we were
(09:39):
sitting in the lawyer's office trying to figure out like
what how to do it, and because it's like I
couldn't because I mean, honestly, what I wanted was just
to be like here, you know, here the papers, because
like he knew I was I think he knew I
was falling. I mean, but he was out, he was
out of the house. Yeah for how long? Oh it's
(09:59):
a week okay, less than a yeah, and so, um,
it was one of those things where it couldn't it
couldn't be me. By law, you can't serve um. I
couldn't serve him papers. Um. And so then they're like, well,
Katherine ken but again that's you know, she's she's going
(10:22):
to have to be around him, Like there's just that
energy too. I don't think she really wanted to take
that on, right, No, No, I wasn't excited about that.
I would have done it, but I wasn't too excited
about that in a really terrible position. Yeah. So it's
just like trying to figure that out was tough, and
I think, you know, and meanwhile, I'm just like sitting
in the lawyer's office like this is like it just
(10:42):
felt like a dream, Like how is this even like
a reality? But um, we he he wanted to put
the kids down. So the only way that it could
happen is it has to be outside of a house too,
So it's like leaving somewhere. That's another rule. It can't
be in your home. Yeah right, I'm not so sure
about that. I think we didn't want him in the
house because I know she had told a story. I
(11:05):
know she had told a story about someone like throwing
it in the house. Remember, so I think you can.
I don't know, honestly, but we wanted him out of
the house. We wanted the kids down asleep, make sure
that that's all set, and then get him out of
the house and then give it to him. And why
are you involved in this? Why isn't it an independent
person just going to his place and serving him like
it is? We didn't know where he was staying. There
(11:28):
was an independent person coming to we Finally it was
the end of the day, but we wanted it done
that day. Um, So they were having a hard time
finding someone to serve, but then they finally found someone,
so they were outside. So it was an independent party
that ended up serving him. Yeah, and that was and
and I knew what was happening. So meanwhile, I'm in
(11:49):
the room, I know what's about to happen? And I'm wailing,
like bawling, crying because all I wanted to do, honestly
in that moment was to run out and say never mind,
never mind, never mind, guy go away, like might come here.
I mean, I literally that's what I wanted to do,
because that was the addict in me being like the
(12:11):
second he gets those papers, it's done, and I can't
go back to that person anymore, Like I can't because
that's for me. It's like whenever I filed, that was
my I was done. I can't go back from that.
I can How how can you you know? Like for
me that it was just something that was I was
very um careful and never actually filing. So when so
(12:34):
me knowing like he's with the kids upstairs, I'm in
the room, like the anxiety and then like no, but
I'm like also knowing if I walk out of that
room saying never mind, she's going to probably tackle my ass.
So they would have been you know, so you know
that's that's why. And he heard me crying not and
I was trying not to cry, but how could you not,
Like I know what's about to happen, and it was
(12:55):
killing me. So he puts the kids down, he hears
you crying, he wants to come talk you. Catherine blocks him,
says absolutely not because she knows the situation. She knows
that jan is an a a vulnerable place. And you talk
him into leaving. Yeah, he basically was like, um, he
was He was nice, and he was like, I'm gonna
I'm gonna go check on her. And I was like, please,
don't You've done enough, Like it's just you know, it's time.
(13:18):
He asked me again and I begged him and I
basically just said, please do not go in there, and
he said, I trust you, and he left and that's
when he found the server and that's when he gets
started at his truck. Yeah. It makes me want to
vomit just thinking about that. Yes. Wow. Uh. And of
course there's been no communication since because now they're can't
(13:40):
be right, Um, just that we just talked about the kids.
I mean I have texted him, and I mean, be honest,
I've texted him a bunch and been like how you
know why, and like this isn't what I wanted and
it's not fair. But um, I officially signed the paperwork
last week and that was that was like the hardest
(14:01):
of all the days, just like seeing like the signatures
and like and not being what I want and like
what I wanted for my family. That was that was like,
that was a very hard day. UM. And I called
him after I signed the papers and I told him
it was signed, and you know, I expressed to him
(14:22):
like everything that I was, Like. I know I wasn't
a perfect wife, but I would have fought till I
would have fought forever for this family and for you
and for like you know, and and I just said,
from here on out, I've you know, I'm going to
stop with the y in the house because now I
have to move on. But yeah, anyways, can we take
(14:46):
it to say, I really I just want to stay
real quick that the fact that Davon Franklin's on the
day is perfect because he is going to make you
feel like you can conquer the world. I love that
guy good because I need a little help with that. Alright, guys,
let's take a break and then, UM, we've got some
too awesome guests coming on. Okay, very excited because we
(15:18):
have Tara Taylor coming on. UM. For more information on Tara,
you can actually go to Tara Taylor dot c A
and she's an internationally renowned intuitive counselor. First, can we
just talk about because even Catherine, when you know we're
reading the breakdown or like intuitive counselor, so, how do
you how do you even do that? Like how do
you start with that? Sure? So the definition, you know,
(15:42):
intuitive counselor means above the board. Like, so anything that
has to trust with your intuition, we call it spidy sense.
We call it, uh, you know, your your gut feeling.
It's really kind of who we are. We're all intuitive being.
Some of us just experience in a different way. So
for example, Jenna, you're a feeler hands down, So another
word would be EmPATH right, Um, so that's kind of
how we all work. For me, when I was a
(16:03):
little girl, I just kind of knew things without knowing
how I knew them, or I would see them, or
I would experience or hear things, you know, like any
good parent. I got test for bipolars but personality, when
I was a little I would say, well, Papa would
come and talk to me, and they'd be like, oh,
she's dreaming right, And over time, you know, and then
over time they thought okay, maybe she's onto something because
(16:23):
I how do I know certain things that were coming
out of my mouth. Now this is around the age
of seven, so these are just kind of my parents
tell me more stories, and I really remember kind of
what's going on, because you don't know what's different until
you're told it's different. I didn't think it was different, right,
So but I've dedicated my whole life. So after all
that happened, and this was in the early eighties, I'm Canadian,
as you're gonna hear my accent come out in a
(16:43):
couple of ways. Um, so what happens is and they
came back and they said, well, she's got this ESP
thing like have a nice life, and that was that
was it. You know if there wasn't anything at that
time that really understood how I understand like what I
was experiencing wise experiencing it, you know what this intuition
thing was, ESP. Extra sense perception like all of this,
(17:04):
and back then there just wasn't the same sort of information,
at least it wasn't for me as a young person
or for my parents. So I dedicate my life now
twenty plus years of helping people with the highly intuitive
children or just people with intuition in general, So people
come and see me for sessions because I don't like
to define it as a psychic, a medium, all those
(17:24):
like all of the above, because that's kind of what
I do. I don't know anything different. But I'm very,
very professional at what I do because to me, it's
about how do I spread love? Like how do I
help people understand that so they can, you know, have
the same connection with God the way I do. We
all have the same connection. It's just learning how to
work with it. We all kind of have this like
light switch that turns off. Well, mine just didn't. So
(17:46):
people call me either extra sensitive or I'm highly intuitive.
To me, I'm just tear. At the end of the day,
I thought everybody was like this, Like I said, but
I help people kind of get back in touch with
that and to trust that inner voice. Yeah, I mean
that inner voice is something too, especially because we all
have that gut feeling, that gut intuition. But it's how
do you, like, if if you're gonna tell me things
(18:08):
right now, like, how would I actually receive that and
listen to it? Like how do you tell people that
you work with to be like listen to your gut,
listen to your intuition. So for me, it's more of
like we all have a spiritual entourage, divine team, whatever
you want to call it. So when we come into
this life, we have these loved ones or beings or
whatever you want to call God, same, divine, all all
(18:28):
the same that guide us through making sure that we're
going to fulfill a certain purpose in this life. We're
all born with a purpose and then we go home.
When we come back, we do it again and again
and again. And that's kind of kind of people talk
about source progression or life purpose journey. So in my experience,
when I go into kind of helping somebody understand their intuition,
it's more I'll receive this, I'll know something about you
(18:51):
that how would I know? And so that's validation saying
I knew that I needed to do that, I knew
my intuition was saying that. So I'm just kind of
really crystal clear when things come at me, I don't
question them. I just let it happen. We all have
a beautiful ego. They're gonna be wrong. The ego totally
needs a new publicist, and it's it's misunderstood Okay, it's
totally misunderstood. The ego is only designed to challenge the
(19:13):
infinite self when we're on the right path. Does that
make sense? Can you say it one more time? Yeah,
the ego was designed to only challenge the infinite self
when we're on the right path. So how do we
learn how to love if we don't experience hate? How
do we learn to forgive if we don't have something
to not forgive? You have like unforgiveness, all of these things,
(19:34):
there's all of these areas that we go into. What
is the opposite of that experience? How do I truly
know I'm divine love if I don't experience the opposite
of that? To remember who I am and what I'm
doing here? Right? And this kind of goes into Jenna,
I mean, things that have been going on with you
and just intuitively your knowing no way back in the
day and so you do. We talk and I see
(19:55):
lots of people kind of coming and going in my
body just doesn't hold onto those sort of things, like
I always remember a beautiful energy. I don't remember what
we talked about because I focus on the task at hammer,
what's happening in that moment, I just let myself be
in the moment and let come out what's supposed to
come out. Again, I don't question what comes out. Um.
I think kind of the journey that you're on right
now is going into another phase, like you will woken.
(20:15):
You will woken to this new um knowing, nous or
intuitiveness that's been hitting you for quite some time. But
there was a fear really jumping into that because there
are certain things that stem from your childhood the way
that you would view relationships, and it started with your parents, Honey,
it started with your dad and trying to find home
and trying to find home with um, certain men in
your life, and there's been certain things that have been
(20:36):
repetitive in your life that it's kind of like your
need to be a family or base a family or
having this family let's say agenda has now come up
because you realize that you're already born complete. No one
completes you, okay, like your primary relationship is with God
as as as like clear as I could get with that.
We look from the time we're born, we're kind of
(20:58):
taught this fairy tale let someone else come com pleats us,
that something outside of us completes us. Everything is within.
There's a teaching that goes like this, like Jesus would
say things like, and to his disciples, you know, do
not build temples. God lives here and he would point
out his chest or you could look at you know,
stayings by Buddha. Budda would say things like in the text,
(21:20):
everything outside of ourselves as ignorance. Everything is within. So
every set of religion tradition talks about the sense that
we are all connected to the same place. We are
all kind of put into this spighty sense of knowing
our truth. So and we all have this kind of
pattern or something that we're here to learn. And Jenny,
you're kind of stepping into this knowing nous that was
always there. There's just part of you that didn't want
(21:41):
to trust it because there was a part of you
that may have wanted something, but it was in love
with the idea of somebody not really who they were.
Does that make sense? Okay? So intuitively, you know, I
could rhyme off a bunch of things, say like I
know that you're meant to go into the different days,
Like I know you're meant to have children, I know
that you're gonna get that person that comes to the
(22:02):
same values as you do, and and all that sort
of stuff. I know that all of those things are
going to work out for you because you're stepping into
your greatness. Now, you're listening to your soul. There was
a time before where you weren't listening. You were looking
outside of yourself for those answers and looking for something
or someone to complete that part of yourself that felt
that need to um feel this completeness. But that completeness
was always there, and you're finally seeing that light within
(22:23):
yourself to step into that. That makes sense. Yeah, um,
so this is what you know. I kind of want
to share with you is that intuitively, what you're being
called to task to you right now is to find
forgiveness for things that you may not understand. M is
to look at somebody and say, I can have love
(22:44):
for you, but I don't need to love your behavior
because something would have brought you together with all let's say,
all of our past relationships and always like you would
have loved for that person. They may hurt you, they
may do things to spite you, they may um disrespect you,
but there was a time where you were in the uh,
you share dinners together, you had these experiences, you have children,
whatever that is, there was a time. So somebody does
(23:06):
something that doesn't stand up to the same value that
you have the ideas to have compassion for it. But
it doesn't mean you have to condone the behavior, nor
doesn't mean that you need to stay in something that
doesn't vibrate at the same alignment that you're at. M
You either grow together or you grow apart. There's no
in between. So sometimes we just have to say tata
for now. We'll continue all this journey, just not the
(23:28):
way we were doing it before. And that's really kind
of where you're at is learning that you were complete
your whole and now it's allowing to see that you
can have somebody in your life but not looking for
something to complete you in it. That makes sense then,
you know, and God is going to bring you into that.
You know, this is this is kind of the awakening
that has been bestowed on you. Beautifully is coming into
(23:49):
your own shining your light. You have all these amazing
things coming up for you. Um, I can just it's
kind of like I use this example like I see
it's almost like I watch people's movies and things come
up at me and I can really see how things
are going to pan out, Like I feel like there's
something important. Um, God loving honey. I don't listen to
your music, but you must be a singer, because I
just keep seeing all this music stuff that's coming up
that you're supposed to be going into. Like some of
(24:11):
us have to shed our skins to go to the
next level, or think of like a snake shedding its skin.
And there's just certain things that we're holding you back.
And sometimes it is a relationship, sometimes it's a friendship.
Sometimes it's our own personal things that we do in
our self sabotaging. So this was something that was distracting
you from not allowing you to fulfill your destiny here,
so that had to be let go to jump into
(24:31):
the next thing. So everything is a series of beginnings
and endings, beginnings and endings in our whole life. And
that's the journey that you're starting to see. And when
you pull back, which I know intuitably you've been doing,
to really see like what's the issue here? What has
actually gone on? You know, I have accomplished what I
wanted to do out of this relationship I still have
love for at that certain person, but I no longer
(24:54):
want to continue down this path because it doesn't make
me feel connected in the way that I want to feel.
I felt more alone in this than I felt connected.
So that tells you something, and that means when we
feel alone, it means we're not connected to our God's center.
So we're never really truly alone. We have the angels
God to all this beautiful energy around us all the time.
(25:14):
The sense of loneliness really just means that you're not
in touch inside. You're not in tuning to your own
soul's growth and your soul's voice. That's all that that is.
So no one can really hurt you if you allow
it to. But when you realize you're already complete and
you're already in that place, you'll just guide through that
and you'll look at that person with compassion and love
and just say, I just don't choose to love that behavior,
(25:34):
and I choose to move on this path. If you
want to meet me with my value is great. If
you don't, I have to let it go. That's sometimes
is a way of truly loving somebody when we let
go of conditions and how we want someone to be
versus what they really are. That makes sense. So you know,
forgiveness isn't something that happens overnight, and you can forgive
something within yourself or someone within yourself. Um, but you've
(25:59):
been on this journey for so long that I'm sure
this has been a breath of fresh air kind of
coming into the decision that you needed to do. And
anybody can look afar and say, you know, this person
should do that or could have done that, It doesn't matter.
Everybody has their own journey and they need to learn
on their own and their epiphanies will come, and all
we need to do is hold the space for everybody
so they learn on their own path. You know, to
(26:21):
judge really come from a place of being judgmental. To
really love is to really be present and to support
whatever journey that person is on, no matter if we
like it or not. Right, you get what I'm saying.
It's like, I don't think you've ever liked my Well,
it's been a hard one to learn and to sit
back and watch. But you know, I just said earlier,
(26:42):
Terra that I very much believe in timing, and I
think that the timing for this for her it had
to be this time. It couldn't have been two times
before when I thought that she should have been done,
you know, I mean it wasn't It wasn't her path
and it wasn't her timing. And I think that's yeah,
it lines up really well. Yeah, and that's Janda, that's
what you said like a couple of years ago. I
(27:03):
guess when we had spoken. We've come full circle, which
a lot of people come back to seeing me, which
is great. So I'm happy because I want to spread
love that way, you know, and teach people to empower
themselves and trusting their intuition. But that was it. It's like,
no matter what message was delivered at that time, it
served a purpose to sit there and when you were
ready to listen and receive it, it was available to you.
Nothing's lost in the eyes of God, honey, it's just
(27:24):
the journey we have to walk. Like, how do we
know what we want when we don't experience what we
don't want? Right? So everything is a blessing no matter
what it is, you know, especially this experience now that
you've just been through energetically has taught you that there's
this place where you can look at somebody and thank
them from reminding you to love yourself. Like what if
(27:45):
this whole experience was exactly the way it was, so
it reminded you to step into your power. So instead
of saying I dislike you, I hate you, I just
despise anything to say thank you for reminding me of
who I am, the love that I hold, and my
gone set through that I'm supposed to do here in
this life. I love that. Wasn't that the blessing? Yeah?
(28:05):
I love that? Because I have had so much like
hate and like anger for like ruining the family and
stuff and what I wanted, and because, like you said,
like you know, I grew up in a divorce family,
so I always said, like when I have kids, I
will I will not let that happen. And so that's
been the biggest disappointment for me that I feel like
I failed them. And but but to to your point,
(28:28):
like what you just said, like one day I hope
to be like thank you, like because I'll have found
my worth even though it was you know that was
that person was trying to take it, you know, but
it really wasn't like that they had their own issues
with their own self worth too. So it's not so.
I just I would love to be able to have
(28:48):
that one day, to just be like thankful for it.
And you will, because we'll come full circle again at
some point in our lives and we'll have this conversation
like remember when you told me I'll be able to
look at him with love and forgiveness. I'm like, I'm there.
It doesn't bother. I said, I told you, honey, you
will get there right now. You have to grieve. A
loss is a loss is a loss. It's all the same,
a death, a relationship. So you just have to grieve
(29:08):
all those moments. It's okay to be angry. You know.
When we're little, girls were told, you know, be a
good girl, be smile. Girls don't are allowed to get angry.
You know. There's all these kind of fixed beliefs that
are bestowed upon us. But it's okay to be angry.
So to say like, I don't like your behavior. I've
got love for that, but I don't like that, and
I need space right now and I need my boundaries
because I need to heal through this. That's more powerful,
and that's being honest about how your emotions are. You
(29:31):
saying like I can still you know, like things about you,
but I don't have to like this, that and everything
else about you. So it's it's really about you set
the boundaries, like no one can take anything from you.
No one can really hurt you unless you allow them to, right.
So that's really where it goes, is that you are
really in that place. So any time that you feel
that you're being lonely or or separated out, or that
(29:51):
anger starts, to sit be with it and be like,
I'm going to express this anger. I'm gonna grab my
junk journal, I'm gonna start writing, and it can be
the most culpful words you want to use. No one's
ever going but read it. No one's gonna look at us.
Nobody's business. Okay, you can call them all the names
under the sun or whoever that is you want to
direct that energy to. Then rip it up and throw
it out. Just because you're feeling anchor doesn't mean it's
your truth and doesn't mean who you really are. It's
(30:11):
just a it's an emotion. We're emotional beings. I'm sure
you've heard this world saying that goes, you know where
these spiritual beings having emotional moments on earth, like that's
really what we are, and we're fully present in our
ego and all of that's there. It's like we are
meant to experience this fully and holy honey, and it's
gonna hurt sometimes and it's gonna be uncomfortable. There's this
little kind of secret that no one really talks about,
(30:31):
and I love really kind of bringing it up. Is
that our soulmate relationships are the ones that are going
to challenge us the most to grow. They're not easy.
It's not unicorns and rainbows and fun times. No, they
make us grow. So that's really what it is. And
that's kind of when I go back to thanking that
person saying thank you reminding me of my life, thank
you for reminding me my God center, and thank you
for allowing me to grow. And now I've outgrown this
(30:53):
and I bless your path just as I'm asking you
to bless mine. You know, that's really what is the
dynamic here. So you know, anybody can chime in on
comment and say, well you should have done this, should
have done that. You know them themselves are coming into
this have not been through that because they would not
judge it if they did. Does that make sense, you know,
(31:14):
so it really comes. Everybody's going to have opinion, But
anybody that has gone through the darkness to see the
light will just hold the space, honey. That's what they do.
They hold the space or a soft place for you
to fall, let all the emotions out, and help you
work through that emotion so you come out of the
other side the version what you were born to be,
which is light and love and to inspire and and
just beat. That's all you need to do. Just be
(31:35):
mm hmm. I like that. Do we do we see
a happy ending at the end of all of this
or one hundred and a bazillion percent percent? But I
really would love you to reflect on and into it.
Like I said, you have gods, you have loved ones
that are here. Like that's that's great, that's all there.
But that's not really what the focus. What why you
(31:56):
and I are crossing paths again. The focus is to
remind you that fullal here we are again, right, is
that there you are receiving these messages and to trust
it more and more and more and not to delay them.
Is that you are connected to the same place I am.
Everyone is, and it's it's trusting, not and that it
may not be an alignment with what you think you
(32:16):
want at the time, but that saying does go Sometimes
God doesn't give us what we want, gives us what
we need, okay, And that you needed to kind of
go through all of this, and that you are going
to be coming to that vibrational alignment with someone who
has the same values, that wants those same things. And
let me just put it this way. You know, you
(32:37):
live a very public life. I mean, it's obvious. It's
kind of like an emails. I'm like, are you sure
you want to have this conversation? You know, I always
give all my clients because you know, I've got a lot.
I've got a lot of public, very high profile people
that I talked with on a regular basis, you know,
and I helped them through these sort of things. But
the thing is, for me, not everybody likes it public
and stuff do and it's just more of a personality thing.
So I'm always double check. I'm like, are you sure
(32:57):
this is what you want? You know, I just want
to double check because things may come out that you
may not be comfortable. So it's all good, and I
think the wrongness and being authentic and This is most
important part because you are helping and healing people through this.
You know other people are listening right now, going, yes,
this resonates. Yes, I understand that this is what I've
wanted to achieve, This is what I wanted to forgive.
This is how I need to remind myself when I'm
kind of up against the wall and something like what
(33:19):
would love do in this situation? People say, what would
Jesus do? What? But what would love to love? Would
find compassion, loveould find all these sort of things. So
you come into this beautiful alignment with who you are
and where you vibrate so that person gets there. And
I think you hit it on the head when you
said about your ax. You know he was dealing with
his worthiness issues. A person that truly truly loves themselves
(33:41):
and isn't a place of peace doesn't go and do
things that would hurt the person that they're with. I
don't believe that this was intentional at all. I believe
this person is going through their own sufferings. So this
is where we hold that space for that person and
say I don't like that, but I can understand, and
you need to get help. And this is how you
(34:01):
need to get help, right. You know, I think we're
so quick to point fingers at other people, saying you
wronged me, I wronged you, You're bad, I'm good. Like
we do this instead of really looking at the bigger
picture to say, where do I need to be kind
in this? Where do I need to find love in this?
Where do I need to set my boundaries? But where
do I need to hold that space for them? And
sometimes holling that space is literally like cutting off the
(34:24):
lifeline and just saying, here's here's some help, this is
what you need to go do. But that's like you're
going to move on from that. But here's my little
intuitive hit, like this isn't done here. You know, you
still have a journey with this person that isn't fully
completed yet. You may be signing on the divorce paper, sunny,
but it's it's not done. So there's still some growth
here that's going to happen. And I think it's important
(34:44):
that you do spend time internalizing and working with your
God's center and your love center and all those things
and rebuilding that relationship with yourself so you feel that
strength to work through these next steps. But you will
align as you go through that with a person that
is connected to what you want, because the two of
you didn't have the same wants in life, and that's
(35:05):
what ended up happening, is that you both went on
different paths. At one point you did okay that that
again it's a soul mate relationship. But then it became
to an end. And so it started due to the
fork in the road and split and then we fight
and then we hired them. We can't trust and we
dislike and it just starts to get worse and worse
and worse before it gets better. But I'm sure you
felt that overwhelming sense of relief when it finally was done,
Like you no longer felt like you had to walk
(35:26):
in eggshells or you were fearful of something happening. It
was like it was almost like a bittersweet moment, right,
Does that make sense? Yeah, it's like something sets you free. Yep, Tara,
I I so appreciate you. And where can our listeners? Um,
where can they find you? Where can you help them
give us all the info? Sure, you can go to
Tarry Taylor dot c a Canadian candidate. So Terry Teler
(35:48):
dot c A you can find me there, um you
can find me. I don't spend a lot of time
on social media. I'm just one of those I'm too
busy doing sessions and those sort of things. But you
can see me on Facebook. I don't go on there,
but people tend to follow me on Instagram. I think
it's Tara Taylor, Indigo or Intuitive or something like that.
But if you go on my website you can see
all that information and then soon you'll start seeing I'm
kind of behind the scenes doing some writing projects um
(36:11):
in Hollywood, so that would be very very exciting. Yeah. Yeah,
So for me, it's about spreading love and how do
we help that generation. We've got to do it in
a way that teaching the new ways on how to
work with her intuition. That's not so woe. Yeah, for sure.
I love that. Well, Tara, thank you so much for
coming on Wine Down. Appreciate it very very very much.
God bless you, honey. You take care, You'll be just fine. Okay,
(36:32):
thanks Tara, all right, by girl. My soul has been
spoken to love. That's so good. But I am very
excited to um have Devon Franklin on next. He's incredible
and he's got a new book out called Live Free,
So I'm excited to talk to him about everything and
hopefully he can inspire us all. Be back in a
(36:54):
sec Divine. Hey, I'm Janna. This is Katherine. What's going on?
(37:15):
Hey good? How are you? Oh? My goodness? Like I
cannot thank you enough for coming on this podcast, of course. No, no,
you know. Amy reaches out and says, it's for y'all.
I'm like, hey, I'm here. Can I just have some
of that energy and like, personally, you're just so you're
you're like your light is just you're just you're happy.
(37:38):
Oh well, I try. Right now, I'm feeling a little scruffy.
I'm in pre production on my next movie, so I'm like, man,
I'm in it, but I'm like, you know what, it's cool.
I'm just gonna come through however, I am. I'm glad
the energy is right. Yeah, No, you're you're you have
a great energy, very light. I like, it's it's im
I need some of that right now. I'm going through
just a real real bad, yucky divorce and it's just
(37:59):
I just um any any and all like things that
you can give me to just like get me up
and feeling happy and positive, because feeling just like defeated
and worried and anxious. What makes you feel the most defeated? Um?
Sorry any time talking about my kids to get upset,
(38:22):
just that I let my kids down. Mhm, you know,
just like I mean, I guess, I you know, I've
officially was the one that ended things. You know, I
had to walk away because it wasn't right anymore. Um,
it was, it was bad. But I think, you know,
(38:44):
just growing up with expectations, and I know in your
new book Live Free, like you talk about expectations, and
so I had this expectation for myself and for my family,
and now that I couldn't live up to that expectation
and have that perfect family for them, I have a
lot of guilt about that. I'm curious what you do
(39:05):
with expectations and how you can kind of redirect my
way of thinking. Yeah, I mean, you know, first of all,
I mean it's I think it's courageous of you to
be as transparent as you are and to be as
in touch with how you're feeling. Um. I think also,
(39:25):
you know, where did that idea you know, this is
what perfection looks like? Where does that come from? Because
if you look at it from the opposite, Okay, if
I were to stay in something that was untrue, if
I were to stay in something that is against who
(39:45):
I am just for the image, what has that then
project to your children? So the idea that you you
are modeling, no matter what, no matter how the chips
may fall, no matter how difficult, call put your truth
as your light. That doesn't sound like defeat to me.
(40:08):
That sounds like victory because you're displaying. Yo, this is difficult,
it's hard. But again, and I don't know all the
particulars alleged of decision, and no one needs to know
those those particulars, um, but you know why you made
the decision, and you know that it was a decision
that you felt you needed to make, and so owning
(40:31):
that and not and not trying to live up to
because because I guess what, your kids don't have the
expectation that you do. They just have an expectation of
being loved, cared for. Heard, when they're hungry they want food. Hey,
when I want some shoes, MoMA not needs some shoes.
You know that. That's it. It's like hey, And so
sometimes we come into a situation, um, you know, especially
you know, you're a marriage, Like, here's what I wanted
(40:53):
it to be, and this was my expectation of it
and and the reality and the expectation. If we don't
reckon sildbos too, it can be devastating. Um So I
would just say specifically on this part of it, you know,
just to not look at yourself and defeat. That's that's
an energy that's not going to bring you anything. You know,
you're courageous, you you you are victorious, you are are
(41:18):
are a warrior for your truth and that no one
can take it from you, and you shouldn't take it
from yourself either, you know, to stand up and do
what you're doing and to say what you're saying, and too,
you know, finally say hey, you know, I gotta be respected.
I gotta have boundaries, because boundaries are a sign of love.
(41:39):
I love myself enough to know when certain bounties have
been crossed and I've got to do the work to
repair those boundaries by making a difficult choice that I
believe will impact the rest of my life and my
children's life in a positive way. So that's your truth,
that's your path, and I would just encourage you to
work on looking at it more from from an advantage
(42:01):
point of victory, not defeat. Mhm, yeah like that. How
do you like it? You know? Your book is called
titled Live Free. What what is living free to you?
Look like? Um? You know, living free to me looks like, Um,
I get to control how I feel. I get to
(42:23):
control how I live. I get to decide the expectations
that I meet. Um, I don't give anyone the power
to make me feel the way I don't want to feel.
You know. So in the book I talk about the
definition of living free is not being under the mental, emotional,
or physical control of anyone or anything. That I am
the keeper of my happiness. I am the keeper of
(42:46):
my emotions. I am the keeper of my expectations. I'm
the keeper of my desk. So that's what I say.
That's what I mean by living free, like free to
be who I am, not who people expect me to be,
because that image is a prison. It's a prison because
then I get into that prison. And I talked about
this in the book, you know. I mean I grew
(43:07):
up people call me Mr. Perfect and I thought that
was a great thing. And if I got older, I
said this is terrible as a prison because the persona
then becomes the bars by which I had to live
to because people have never expected to make a mistake.
But I'm like, I'm human, I'm gonna make mistakes. So
I first had of letting myself out of the prison.
I'm like, yo, I'm not perfect. And then too, I
(43:28):
had to not worry about how people perceive me so much,
because that perception also creates a prison. You know, Okay,
everybodys expecting you to be divone and what that means
and and and all of that. It's like, well, no, yeah,
I gotta be me, and in a certain moment, I
might be a little different than what you think I am,
but I can't allow your thought to be my thought
(43:49):
about myself. That's freedom, that's freedom, and that's what I
talked about in this book because so often we're not
living free. So often most of the moves are made
because of how it looks. What people are gonna say,
what parents may say, what your friends may say, what
they may say, and we always focus on what they say.
(44:09):
What about what I say? M What about me taking
more say over my life? And that's what this book
is all about, Like taking the control back, taking the
authority back, and finding that freedom because I, in my experience,
I see so many people living for everybody else, doing
what everybody else wants them to do. Over obligated, stressed out,
(44:31):
not happy. Why Because they're trying to be everything to
everybody and they're really being nothing to themselves. So when
I talk about being living free, it's about saying, yeah,
you know what, I'm committed to everyone else as well being,
but I'm first committing committed to mine. Because if I
don't take care of my well being, I can't take
(44:52):
care of your well being. If I don't fill me up,
I can't fill you up. I talk about this filled cups,
field cups. So if I'm filled up, I got something
to get. But if I'm not filled up, I can't
give you anything. So this is the path to me
about freeing. This is what it means. To live for
you means like, what is keeping me back? What is
keeping me captive emotionally, physically, mentally, And let me do
(45:15):
everything I can to break out of that because my
real piece, my happiness, my contentment, is in the freedom
to be who are. I hear that, and I love that.
I'm just curious if there's ever because I remember, you know,
my my X and I we had wrote a book
together and it was it was one of those things
where I almost felt like we had to live up
(45:39):
to this expectation, you know, even though it was, um,
you know, I was fighting a good fight, like doing
these things, but you know, um, I'm wonder for you, like,
is that hard where it's like, you know, because you
are you have all these different hats that you wear,
and you you know, your motivational speaker, and you write
you know, amazing book and it's like, do you ever
(46:01):
sometimes feel like even in your relationship or you're just
like like you almost feel like like I kind of
felt like a well, I was a con artist after
that book came out because I'm like it was real
for me, but it wasn't for him. So it's just like,
do you ever struggle with that? I know you have listen.
It's so great that we can have that conversation. It's
(46:21):
very few people then I talked to have co authored
a book with their spouse, so it's like, okay. So
so that part of it is like, you know, I've
had to get to the place and we've had to
get to the place where we don't let that book,
that image become the prison by which we live. So
(46:44):
you're right, there's no doubt the moment, you know. And
when we wrote our book the way, you know, we
just did it because that was our truth. You know,
I'm like, hey, this is our true let's go talk
about it. We were not fully cognizant of the expect
pation that came with that. It was huge and it
was an amazing book too, by the way. We got
sent that book and it was it was incredible, but yeah,
(47:08):
well there you go. So it was like, okay, yeah,
we just wrote this book because you know, oh yeah,
we should do it. We want to tell our story
help others. The intent was great. The intended nothing to
do with but we see everything to do with building
people up. However, to your point, coming out of it
in the book being so successful, at times, there has
been this like oh, we gotta we gotta live up
(47:29):
to that, and that created a lot of pressure for
for her, it created a lot of pressure for me,
and I think that, you know, just recently we were
getting to the place where we are okay with being
different than how we were when we wrote that book.
We're okay with, you know, saying hey, we believe in
what we wrote, but we don't. But we have our
(47:52):
down days to you know what I mean, Like like
people see that image on that cover and they're like,
that's what I want, and that is and that is
a trap because we're all fallible, we all fall short
of the glory of God, we all make mistakes. And
the intent for us and putting that image out there
wasn't to say, hey, we want you all to aspire
to this. No, we want you to aspire to your truth.
(48:16):
And so we have personally we love the message and
we'll continue to talk about the message, but we've had
to also get to the place where we are okay
with knowing that our journey is our journey. There are
some moments in some days. Our truth is our truth,
and we have really tried to resist the temptation to
try to live up to what that image is. That
(48:38):
was our truth, then this is our truth. Now we're
on a journey. Every day, we're changing, we're growing, we're
being But like, if I feel like I gotta show
up and be like, hey, that's the way guys, like
you know, I don't feel that I feel like, yeah,
I'm gonna show up. It's divine to day, you know,
and and hey let's go where it goes. But um,
I I feel like, you know, very few people have
(48:58):
been able to talk to you know, who've been able
to who have had that experience of like there you are,
your love is on the cover, and that love becomes
the image. So I understand what you're saying, and it's
something that we, uh, you know, that we just work
to not allow to creep into our our marriage and
become disrupted. What do you say to the people that
are stuck that can't get out of you know, their
(49:21):
depression or um, like I've given very vulnerable uh example,
Like I I have a really hard time being alone
and so you know, I've since my ex has moved
out and I'm just alone in the house. Obviously my
kids and you know are in bed, but um I
(49:41):
just sit in my literally sit in my living room,
and I'm like I don't even know what to do.
Like I just feel like I was like I would
love to like go do this or do that? Like
how do I get myself to be like to unstick
myself from from that kind of just like staring at
the walls, like at my walls are just like dark
and closing in. Okay, Um, you know what comes to
(50:06):
mind is, um, this is gonna sound like a total tangent,
but it's coming to your preach. So so what I
was when I was younger, you know, I think I
had to be Like in the third grade, I was
over a friend of mine house after school, and uh,
we were playing hide and go seek. There are a
(50:28):
bunch of us, and so everybody went to go hide,
and I was the one that was there waiting to
go find everybody. So I count to ten and say, okay,
all right, ready or not? Here I come and I
run and um, I run into something. I'm not quite
sure what it is, but I feel it I'm and
I said, oh, it's okay. And I tried to keep
(50:48):
going to find the people that were hide and my
friends that were hiding. And I realized, oh man, I
couldn't move. You know something, I really hit something. And
so I looked down at my left knee and cut
wide open. And I realized that I had run past
the flower bed and there was a piece of wood
sticking out and it literally sliced my knee wide open. Yeah,
(51:11):
and I couldn't and I couldn't when I go when
I went to move it literally blood just poured out
of it. So I had to call for help. They came,
they said, oh my goodness, They wrapped my knee up,
They called my mother, They rested me to the hospital
get emergency surgery, and I was in I was in
the hospital for a number of days, and then it
was in the past for a couple of weeks. The
(51:32):
reason why I shared that, Sorry, I don't mean to
be morbid, but I share that because when you talk about,
you know, being alone or not staring at the walls,
I think you have to acknowledge the level of of
of of pain and trauma and hurt that you have
(51:53):
that you're coming through. So the expectation of just getting
back into life and getting things going. It's like you're
hurt and it's okay, Like it's so like. I think
part of it is maybe like you know, saying to
yourself in those moments, it's okay, m um, right where
(52:14):
I need to be, It's all right, you know, without
any sort of pressure or feeling like, oh man, I
need to be doing this or I don't want to
do that. It's like you're resetting your entire life and
that's just gonna take some time. And sometimes those quiet
moments are the most powerful moments because you're gonna get
(52:36):
revelation and downloads on what to do and how to
do and and maybe even things that okay to here
some tweaks that you want to make. So I would
just encourage you to embrace the discocomfort. Embrace it. There
may be times you in your place by yourself, the
kids are going you scream, scream, Embrace it. Embrace it
(52:58):
because when you think about what's happening, and you know,
and again from what you're sharing, is like there's like
a it's like a rebirth. You know, it's a rebirth.
There's a rebuilding. And in order for anything to be reborn,
whatever it was has to die. When you think about
the caterpillar, it goes into that cocoon. That cocoon looks
(53:23):
like death, but it's actually the vehicle for life because
it's changing. That cocoon is changing. It's not dying. You
can feel like it. It's tight, it's dark, it's it's
it's it's it's it's damp, you know, but it's being transformed.
So that's when you think about, you know, that isolation.
It's like, yo, you are being transformed. The world has
(53:46):
not even yet seen the light and the love, and
the and and the power with which you will come
forth out of all of this. So that's not an
easy answer to your question. Um, but I would just
resist the temptation to push through those uncomfortable moments because
(54:06):
they're really going to be some of the most valuable
moments I think in this journey that you're on, Von,
You're just speaking to my soul right now. I just
I love you. Where can our listeners find everything that
you do, especially the cute little book that you and
your wife were out, because that's the picture for a
(54:29):
big book. Oh man, we'll get the new book. They
get that, but we'll get a living, get a living free,
you know. Um. Yeah, you find me on my website
Davon Franklin dot com. I'm on Instagram at Davon Franklin,
same with Twitter and Facebook. Well, Devon, thank you so
much for coming on. I appreciate it more than you know.
And yeah, I just I really appreciate it and I'm
(54:54):
excited to read live. I can't wait for you to
read it order now you neednything? Thank you let me know. Okay, awesome,
thanks to Von. Appreciated. I mean, come on, I love
him love I just want like a you know what
I want. I wanted daily affirmations from Devon. That's what
(55:15):
I need him to do, daily Devon affirmations. Can I
tell you what I was thinking about a lot of
the time he was talking the day I don't know
how many days after, And I told you that I
was excited. Remember what I told you. I was excited
and you looked at me and You're like excited, and
I was like, yes, I'm excited for you. It's that,
it's everything that he said, like a change is coming,
(55:38):
and it's and you know it's going to come at
some point. You're just in the middle of it. But
I'm so excited. I'm about to be a damn butterfly
mark the world. I'm about to find my little butterfly
arms out. I'm with Catherine. I think it's it's exciting.
It really is, because this next chapter was inevitable and
(56:01):
now it can finally begin. Amen what he said, Yeah,
I'm excited to fly. I'm shedding right now, shedding. And
then I'm gonna spread my wings and then everybody is
gonna just you know, uh yeah, well it'll be a
(56:22):
good how do I say it? Um? Oh, thank everyone
while I'm like flying up in this guy. Thanks, I
love you. You were right. I'm sorry to do a
twitter oh man. Well, great show guys, and um see
(56:43):
you next week
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