May 1, 2023 • 48 mins
Derek Hough has danced through every challenge, but he’s back with Jana to get some advice about his most complicated number yet… fatherhood!
Derek and Jana also connect over the tragic passing of Dancing with the Stars judge Len Goodman. Derek opens up about how he plans on honoring Len’s memory on his upcoming tour, and how he uses dance to work through feelings of grief and sadness.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.
Oh we're now on the record, now on the record. Hi, Hi,
it's a just Kristen today. Jk get a Jake, it's
just us, no kit Kat. We have some good memories together,
(00:22):
you and I we've really done it good, like duo
moments together in the past. I got real emotional this morning,
so I know you wrote quite an emotional and I
was like, well, first I thought you were canceling. I
know it was my first thing. Actually was going to
change it, and I kind of wanted you guys to
think it so that you would go in like a
(00:43):
too use thematic pregnant person. Well no, I just wanted
you to like really read because I was like, everyone's
going to see a paragraph and dip out. Yeah. I
was like, oh, no, this is her. I saw the
Preston seven match. I was like, oh, she's canceling. No,
her own baby shower. Here we go. No, I'm having
a little shower. And I just am emotional because it's
my last baby. How do we know for sure though,
(01:04):
because I'm a hundred Well no, I mean our friend
Nancy had a baby until forty she was forty five. Yeah,
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Yeah, just so we're super clear. Yeah, I just got
emotional this morning. I was like, it just means a lot.
I mean I got I just was thinking of all
the things you and I have done, chapters, husbands, babies,
I mean, yeah, we're going on almost a decade. Kramer, right, Oh, yeah,
it's a lot. It's a lot, I know. I mean,
(01:35):
I'll never forget the moment that you were sitting on
my bus bed and you told me that you were
pregnant with love and it was just and You're like,
funny thing, funny story.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Me too, me too.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
And that's kind of where it started. I mean, we
really did it, and we continue to do it supportive
and good. It's I get the the lasts of things,
Like I remember when I was putting away Jase's I
was taking apart his crib and building his like first
little toddler crib bed, and I remember just crying, going,
(02:12):
this is the last crib I'm going to have, and
just kind of like having that like cry fast and
then I'm you know, with us moving to the new house,
the designer was like, hey, do you want a big
boy bed for Jace oh, and I was like, well,
he does have a big boy bed. She's like, well,
that's like a I mean that's like what like a
really small like a twin thing. Yeah. And she's like,
(02:35):
I mean Jolie has a I think she might have
either a full or queen. Yeah. And I was just like, well,
I don't want to talk about right now. It's a
lot like I cried when we took apart the crib
every time, did you keep the crib?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
No?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yeah, okay, yeah, there's just I remember like going, okay,
I need to sell these things, like the clothes, and
like I everyone knows that I enjoy getting dressed for myself,
so the fact that I mean, imagine when I have
these two little clients that I get to get dressed.
So we have so many like rubber maids of just
like honestly at least fourteen rubber maids of like clothes
(03:12):
in our attic and the crib, and I could never
get rid of either, and I just every single time
I just would look at Preston. I was like, it's
too much, and I would just close the attic door.
Because I think I always knew that you always knew
you'd have another one. Well, I always wanted another one,
but Preston's a middle kid, and so he was the
reason we did not at first have another one. And
(03:35):
then he came to me and said, I feel like
we make really cool people, you do, And I was like, well, respectfully,
I raise cool people. Well you're on a tour bus.
But I'll take the indirect compliment. That's fine, and you're
not wrong. So we tried for two years and nothing,
So I don't try for two years, I mean like
actively trying each month, like I'm ovulating. Yeah, wow, yeah,
(04:01):
And I can't take you that along with legend love. No,
I'm spoiled in that way. I always am hesitant to
even share that because I'm surrounded by so many and
I work with so many moms that have struggles getting
pregnant and if they can get pregnant, keeping the baby.
But we've never that's never been an issue. So two
years and I kind of just thought it was just
(04:23):
not gonna happen for us. Yeah, and then here we are,
but you're you can now close the attic door once.
This is it. As I climbed your stairs like it
was Mount Everest today and needed an oxygen tank. Right
around the third or fourth stair, I was like, Yep,
this will do it, this will be it. I'm just
(04:43):
really thankful. It's interesting. Sorry, I'm just alive on my
mom that you talked about the clothes, because I thought so.
When I was first pregnant with Jolie, Catherine was like, oh,
I can't wait to see what you dress like high
you're to dress your little girl. And at first I
would put like the cutest things together, and then within
(05:06):
like a few months, I was like, oh, screw this,
Like it's a lot of work. It is a lot
of work. And then it's really expensive too. Like I
remember I bought Jolie a pair of I think they
were Oh they were like Jannati Zuppie or whatever. Yeah,
really about like zepis is I love us some brand?
Like we made this joke on stage out wind down
about not knowing brand, like not being able to say it. Yeah,
(05:30):
So those are expensive, expensive, And that's the only pair
I've ever bought that was expensive because I'm like m
M because they all grow them. What I did do, though,
is there was a Onesie. There was a Onesie and
a PJ that I kept of Jolie's that it was like, yeah, Cramer,
I know. I mean like I kept like her lovey
(05:50):
and like you know, stuff like that, but no clothes. Wise,
that's all I kept. I have two rubber maids of
stuff that no other baby will touch, that will get
passed down to love and legends kids. Yeah. No, I
want it to be nothing. That's the thing. I mean.
I remember I got some stuff passed down for my
mom and then like even like Mike's parents were like, hey,
(06:11):
here's like a cute little PJS at that mic war
so like we put that on Jas and that was
really cute. So like, I've kept like literally one or
two things. I don't know why. For me, I'm just
kind of like, I like, I wish I could do that.
But then I'm also like, well why would I keep
the extra because I'm just like I don't like stuff,
so I don't either. Interesting fun fact. Fun fact. But
(06:35):
I think I always knew someone else was coming, or
I prayed. I always felt it. I always wanted three
or four, and I tried to reconcile my brain that
the one we lost was the third m but I
just couldn't. So I don't know if I was just
waiting to the age where it was like medically impossible
for me to have another baby, and then I could
(06:56):
sell it all or what the deal was. But yeah,
I've kept all the CL's the cloth in the crib.
That's it. And I'm really super lucky because we have
two friends in our friend groups that have had their
third babies two June's ago and then last June, and
so by this June, I'm getting all the good hand
me downs. Oh that's great, yes, and don't have to
buy a bunch of I don't like gadgets. Stresses me out. Yeah,
(07:18):
like all the gadgets, like here's your sanitizer bottle. Well,
I went through your lists and it was very minimal, minimal.
I was like, she either has kept all of them
m m or or I'm on the organ trail Oregon trail.
Then covered a wagon did this and I can't we
Sarah Bryce and I were trying to figure out. We're like,
(07:38):
what do you think she really wants from this list?
And I'm like, I don't really think she Like, she
doesn't need no any of Like I didn't even want
to make a registry, but you do need it though.
That's the thing I got the shape like as you
know what I mean. So it's like I'm just happy that,
like you did do that because my friends are going
to buy big bows and like if it's a girl,
it will be I'll be inundated with like bow's as
(07:59):
big as a tad. And I was like, I can't
do that, so I got to keep it real streamline.
I personally think the most offensive gifts are from the
in laws or the parents. I don't or they were
they like Jolie still can't fit into certain clothes. That's
like they've been she's she was given me three years ago,
like twelve. I was like, it's big. It's big on
(08:20):
her mom. Yet it's like I can wear my mom.
I remember with Love. So we did find out Love's gender.
We did not find out Legends gender, and we're not
finding out this one's gender. Say I would want to
do that in the third it's so fun. It was
so fun with Legend that I was because Amazon Prime
and Target makes it so easy now to collect things.
Its fast, like I could have a whole room done
(08:42):
by the time I leave the hospital, you know. But
my mom was like, so I got Love her take
home outfit, like the outfit she was going to wear
them from the hospital and moms of that, and I
was like, oh, doesn't that seem intimate or personal like
something the mom or Okay, just checking because I remember
(09:02):
being like, oh, okay she was again, so this is
what she'll wear on the way made sure she like
said it three times did Yeah, yeah, that's nice for you.
Second baby was more boundaries than the third baby. I'm
not what no visitors told July I need to. I
was like, I'm gonna need you to hold a leg.
(09:26):
We're in deep now, Grammar. I mean, this is your baby.
I've come me to the hospital and duh, okay, okay,
I'm just so glad we're out of the I can't
imagine the COVID era of pregnancies because all those moms
deserve a refund. Really, I mean truly having the labor
with mass On, Oh can't. I have so many words
for that. But yeah, and then the people not being
(09:47):
able to be there, So that part I actually wished
was a rule for me. You know, I love a boundary.
I want everybody there. Okay, this is our personalities. Are
you a Jana?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Are you a like?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
I like I when I had Jolie, it was in laws,
my parents, Catherine, where were you my, I don't know,
you're always I have both FaceTime pictures of me and
Labor Yeah, with you and I So I think you
were LA with love La. Well you had love yeah,
but Jace, so but you were in LA yeah, so
you couldn't be in my right church yeah, but no
(10:22):
for my like yeah, I'm like, I'm more the merrier.
And then when I had Jace in Los Angeles, like
we had his parents fly in, so I love and
like Sarah Gretzky came to the hospital like I'm I'm like,
do you have music going? Will you labor?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Well?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Here was my with my Well, y'all can listen to Jace's.
And that's the most like embarrassing labor podcast episode I've
ever done, because it's me going like I got that pass.
Oh my god, I just threw up. Like it's like
it's I'm like, why we're in the right vie do this?
And why did we we podcasted our delivery like literally
(10:59):
Mike pressed for cord and it was and we didn't
edit any of that down. No, Okay, those are the
things on this episode of sea of regret for my
sea section of Jason, but like I am the worst,
like because I have to have sea sections, and so
they had to knock me out both pregnancies. They had
(11:22):
to or they were just like, let's do ourselves as solid. Well,
I started freaking out because I can't feel my legs.
I mean, like I was like, I can't feel my legs.
I should have been my a doula for you. I
feel like I could have really helped you. Well that's
I mean, I just think that's the most traumatizing. Like
I don't like to not be able to feel my
legs but feels. And so when I then woke up
(11:42):
and you know, they're like seasong my belly, you know,
baby comes out. I'm still like high on xanax or
whatever they gave me. So they placed the baby or
whatever dead dio is a pan or whatever, and then
they laid the baby on my chest. And then in
that moment is kind of when I start to come to.
(12:04):
And then that's when I'm like, oh, gave you give
me the more I said, They're like, we can't give
you any more about I said, I was like, no,
it is the weekend at Bernie's legs. That will start
to make a girl Panmic I'll say, I don't like it.
I understand. Sorry, I don't mean to figure out as
you're like, no, I feel really good. I like calm, quiet,
no people very sacred like it is. I don't want
(12:27):
anyone in the room while I'm doing I mean, you
can't with the see section. Besides, you're like person. I
want to share this little brief story because a lot
of moms have been messaging me about just my opinions
on boundaries and my openness about my parents. It's been
really sweet, actually, but this is a brief story. So
I made this post the other day about like we
have shut down visitors for six weeks at our house
(12:49):
because you know, none of our family lives here, so
when they come to visit, they have to like move
in for days. And that's a lot for me. And
and that's I'm just not that person. And I've tried
really hard to be that person. I feel like it's
not christ Like to not be that person. So I've
really gotten like holy and in the depths, and I
still can't do it. So now I just know that's
just who I am, and that's Okay, thank you Amy
(13:09):
Alexander at the refuge center. Really I'm not going to
try to sing it because only one of us does that,
so not very well. So I made this post and
I was like, we're not accepting visitors. This is the
sacred time. Like it's just like I have waited for
the deep breath of like that was our last visitor,
that was my last sheet set to wash, and now
we just get to be together in this sacred space.
(13:30):
And then I've really pushed it out to like not
even the grandparents until July, which I'm sure I'm going
to get a lot of hate. I'm not saying that
we're due beginning of June. But my world is me
with these kids and sometimes a Dada when he's off
the road. So like it's a little more disruptive and
less helpful when I have guests in the house. So
(13:52):
I remember I had requested that the two days I
was in the hospital with Love that we have no
family at the hospital. That Creston and I had just
met each other like five minutes before that, so we
were still trying to get to know each other and
our baby, and I had the weekend to Bernie's legs
and a bedpan. I was peeing in a bedpan. Reston said,
(14:15):
my mom and my brother are outside the door. His
mom lived six hours away. And I just had a
big smile and I go why and he's like, well,
they drove down, and I said, with a horrible idea,
and they were in the room when we moved up
to the room you settle into outside of the delivery room.
And then the next morning, eight am, his brother and
(14:36):
his mom were in my hospital room. Now first baby,
you're like learning how to breastfeed, Like, I don't want
my boobs out with my mother in law. She's a
Church of Christ preacher woman.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Like.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I just was like, what is happening? And his brother
says all right, Mom, we'll see you after work and
starts to head for the door, and I go when
is after work? Six pm?
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Hmmm?
Speaker 1 (15:01):
And I had to call a meeting. I was like okay.
I looked at the nurse and I was like, can
you clear the room? And she was like uh huh,
like she must do like you know, like I needed
a check or something. So mom and everybody had to
step outside. And I just looked at my husband and
was like, I can't I don't want to be half
naked in front of your mom all day I'm learning
(15:22):
how to Oh, that was something that should have been
discussed beforehand. Like that was very unfair to put you
in that situation because then you look like the bad
person too. Yeah, to be like, well, Kristen doesn't want you,
you know what I mean? Like that's not fair. I
just felt like the room lost all oxygen and it
got really really tiny. And she's a great, wonderful woman,
like she's she's microscopic, and no matter how it's your times,
(15:44):
I couldn't need now six weeks, no, no visitors mm hmmm,
uh huh? Is pressing going to be home that entire time? No,
he's hardly ever home really, he's on a ten day
run right now. But why would she want no? I mean,
like my I have my friends here, right I just
don't need family in the house. Can they not? Can
(16:04):
they come and just stay at like in a hotel?
They could, but we'd pay for that, Oh you would?
Uh huh yeah, okay, trust hmm. The third times a
charm Cramer. I'm proud of you for just putting your
foot down on the last one. How long is p
get to stay home for who no days? Oh yeah,
(16:24):
well that doesn't seem We've got a four day window
between mid May and mid June that he'll be in
town while I go into labor. So he had to
fly in the day. Legend was born from Ontario Friday
night in August, canceled a show and was out the
next day. Well, so we'll just see you got your
(16:47):
tribe here. I'm glad you're here. Grammar, that is all
I have to say. Oh I love it. Hold my
baby hair. Speaking of babies, let's see if Derek Huff
has any babies on his mind. Let's take a break,
get him on the show.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Hey, guys, what's up. How you doing? Well?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
You know, we were talking babies, and you know, I
just love to stir the pot because last time I'm like,
when are you getting engaged?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
And then it was like and now when do you
have a baby?
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Oh no, It's like that's like the next the next topic.
I'm like, well, speaking up.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I'm ready, really, I'm ready to get on it. Let's
do this.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
He's like, we babies, Anna is in the practice, or
Anna is in the family growing?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Oh all of the above.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Okay, yeah, oh I like that, how many kids do
you want?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I don't know. Yeah, I think we'll start with one and.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
That's how but I will say I will say vow.
I went to Valaja's baby like five days after she
had had a home and and val was so cool man,
he was just like, you know, hey, bro, like you know,
like we're like these overachievers and we're like, you know
all this, but like there's nothing like this, and I
just my only regrets.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I wish I would have done this sooner.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
And he was just he just said some really beautiful
things and it just it just really got me even
more excited about starting a family.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
So, yeah, what do you.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Think is you're like it's just from a guy's perspective
something that you like, you're you're scared about fatherhood.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Like scared about Yeah, oh interesting. I don't know. I
think I don't know if I'm really scared. Honestly, I
don't think I'm really nervous.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Like I'm pretty like pretty like ready pretty excited. Let
me rephrase that, let me phrase that. Actually I just
reality just said it.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I okay.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
So as an uncle of a Bazilian nieces and nephew,
I am a bit I'm chasing them around, worried about
every corner and every danger, and my sisters was like, dude,
if they're gonna fall, they're gonna fall.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
They get like what what I was like, They got
to be protected. So it's, uh, I'm nervous about that.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
But I think that that's just because I'm not around
it enough to understand that there is fragility. But there
was also the learning curve of a child having to
just experience life, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
I think it's really important. Yeah, So I think I'm
just gonna be a nervous wreck for the first at least.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
However long, I'm sure I'm gonna be just like, you know,
freaking out about every you know, danger, I suppose.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
But I'm still a helicopter. I'm a psych I'm a psychopath.
I'm my oldest is seven and we have another baby
do in June, and I'm a psychopath. I'm forever like
here's your helmets and here's your pads, yep, And I'm
kind of like the other where I'm like, I at
first would like take, you know, put the little padding
(20:02):
around the corners of the island, and then afterwards I'm
like listen. That's you're going to hit your head if
you don't. You know, you hate to be aware of
now what your surroundings are. So I take them off.
And it's like at times even their day, Jase went
to put his head unerneath table, so I put my
hand right above where it's so like he doesn't hit.
But at the same time, it's like he's got a
note that like yeah, yeah, yeah. He had just gotten
back from his surgery and he was like all out
(20:23):
of like, you know, poor guy. And so he gets
up and he hits his he hits the front of
his head on the thing, and then goes to the
counter and hits I'm like, oh my god, like and
so it was just like the head of all things.
It was like a pinball of like going from like
and it's like then I just wrapped him up in
like a little cocoon. But they need, like you know,
they they will learn too, like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
I think I think part of it too, is just
because I was such an accident from kid. You know,
I was always getting hurt and you know, jumping off
things and knocking my teeth out and uh, you know,
just all all sorts of problems. So I think I
just knowing my child, I'm sure we'll have that type
of energy, and so I just have to sort of
(21:08):
look out for a lookout for her because I feel
like you'll be a girl.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Oh I like that. That's cute. You have nothing to announce.
I feel like, you know, you just seem so intue.
I mean, he did this last time to us too.
It's okay, but I think that's cool. I think it's
it's fine. He's what he has to announce. This is tour,
that's the that's the that's you're a busy guy. You're yeah,
and you're going to be judging and then doing your show. Yes, yes,
(21:34):
So you should be scared of not seeing your baby.
That should be what you're afraid of.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Well, that will be. That's That's why I'm packing it
all in now smart. I mean, we're getting it. We're
getting it all in now. We're traveling, we're doing all
these things.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
But uh yeah, So it's gonna be really really busy fall,
but super super exciting. You know, Season thirty two of
Dancing the Stars is happening, and you know, and at
the same time and be going on tour to fifty
six city Uh, so it's gonna be crazy.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I haven't been on Scorn four years, so I'm so excited.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
To finally go out there, get on the bus, go
in to people's cities, see their see their faces, see
them person, give them hugs, the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
And yeah, it's it's Uh. We have a live band,
we have the most incredible dancers.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
We're actually having a whole a big audition this Friday
actually with all these hundreds of dances coming in and uh, yeah,
I'm putting a lot of a lot of heart and
soul and love into this show. And and of course
my fiance Haley, she's gonna be on the road with me.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And I saw her on the on the fire and
I was like, oh, I love that, Like I love
that you guys are doing this together because it's I'm
sure there's going to be some really romantic dances in
there too, and just like I don't know, I just
I love I love a husband, wife duo.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
You know.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Yeah, it's gonna beautiful, I mean.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
And the reason why I'm calling it Symphony of Dance
is you know, for me, it's well, for a symphony
is basically a collaboration, right, It's where every people come
together and it's like everybody's great at their individual gifts,
their individual instruments or their talents, whatever it might be
in life or music or dance, whatever it is. When
we come together, we really do create this beautiful symphony.
(23:11):
And that's what the show really represents, is it's such
an eclectic you know, different genres of music and styles
of dance and and you know, and just just people.
And that's what it's all about. This is about building
this beautiful symphony of dance. So I'm very excited about it.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
I didn't click on the dates. Are you coming to
us Nashville, Nashville.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Yeah, grand Ole Opry, We'll be there. We'll be there
grand Ole Opry. It's a great venue. I love performing there.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
So it's a nationale always nash will always show up.
They always bring great energy. So I'm excited. I was
just in Nashville.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Things were saying, hey, that was really fun. That was
a fun hang we have No.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
It was great. Well, listen to my sister.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
She's a real estate agent out there, and every time
I go there, she's showing me how that She's like, hey,
this this is available, Like you will want to come
out here, and because my mom lives there now, my
other sister lives there now, So it's a we're slowly
all migrating to Nashville.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Are you LA based?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
I am, Yeah, I live in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Yeah, most of LA has moved here, so we welcome you.
Our entire neighborhood is pretty much LA. So it's wild, man,
it's nuts, but it's a great place, like when you
are ready to like settle down, have the family, Like
this is such a good family town, as you know,
so it would be a good place to set up shop.
But I'm curious, you know, you you put so much
(24:37):
of your real life into your dances. You know, I
remember just you know, over the years watching Dancing with
the Stars and then also some of the dances that
you've done with your sister and you know, childhood and upbringing.
Is there a dance or a story in your life
that you haven't been able to put into dance yet
because it's painful or hard, or or a dance that
(24:58):
you want to want to do.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That's a great question, you know. I think.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
What's so great about what's so great about dance or
a performance, right is that you can create a performance
or create a piece that is very meaningful to you,
to me, to to to the person is creating it.
But we don't necessarily have to share that it's about us,
(25:26):
you know what I'm saying, or share that it's it's
it's our story perhaps because and so to answer your question, yes,
there are certain things that even if I didn't want
to necessarily share, you know what I mean, with with everybody,
if I wanted to keep it personal. But but without
a doubt, have the freedom and the luxury of really
creating pieces that can be very cathartic and and beautiful
(25:49):
about past experiences or traumas or pains or aches. And
that's what's so beautiful about art, you know, is that
they are they are a part of who you are
and you're But what's so healing and so beautiful about
it is that when you share those types of things
too with other people, you realize you're, like, this is
my story, but it's also so many other people's stories.
(26:10):
You know, so many other people experience you know, you know,
heartbreak or or or loss, you know, and uh or
or just other other elements. I mean, you know, we
actually did a piece a couple of years ago, you
know about my parents'.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Divorce, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
And it was you know, on television, and it's it
was one of those things where I felt a little
bit like do we do we do this?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Do we talk? We like share this in this way?
You know, and and.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
But it was it was a beautiful piece. I think
that a lot of people sort of responded to that
and felt that way, felt good towards it. But so yeah,
so so to answer your actual question, because I kind
of danced around a little bit, no pun and send it.
But yeah, there's definitely some things that I would love
to create that I feel like could be incredibly cathartic
(27:02):
for you know, past experiences, I should say.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
So yeah, yeah, I love when people put their past
like and explain it because it is so helpful and
I feel like it adds that like additional healing and
help for other people, Like I think obviously movement is
so healing. And then to be able to like when
you guys talked about the divorce, I'm like, oh, yeah,
that is like how I felt in movement, And like
there's just the emotions that you guys bring in dance too,
(27:27):
and like it's just all of it is so I mean,
that's even when I had my brain there's stint on
Dancing with the Stars. It was like working through certain
things and I'm like, wow, this was so cathartic, Like
this felt so good.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yeah. So there was a video I did a couple
of years ago. I wrote a song. It was called
hold On, and it was basically about about suicide.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
And you know, I wrote this video because I had experienced,
you know, something close to be you know, suicide when
I was fifteen.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Years old and.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Other people around me, and even having that those own
thoughts myself, you know, at a certain point, you know,
years ago, and I wrote this song and I created
this video, and so that was an experience where people
didn't necessarily necessarily know that about me personally, but it
was certainly was a way for me to sort of.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Share that in a in an artistic way. And that
video was you know, really really powerful.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
And then I ended up working with this young dancer
who I've known for a while, and he told me
his story about how his father, you know, died by suicide,
and we created this beautiful dance piece, this beautiful piece,
and he shared his story and it was so powerful
and you know, it's just just recently, obviously I've experienced
(28:52):
two more people close to me unfortunately that by suicide,
and it was just is something that, yeah, I go
back to that, that song or that video or that
it's that time when I created that as sort of
a moment to feel I don't know, like wanting to
reach out more, you know what I mean, and wanting
to sort of do more in that space because it's
(29:14):
just there's nothing more. There's nothing more painful than feeling
like you could have done something where you feel like
you want to do more for people. And that's that's
really truly, honestly my overall mission really, you know, when
people when I do do dance or perform or do
silly tiktoks or silly post or whatever, it is the
(29:36):
underlying sort of intention of almost everything I do is
really to be to serve.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
It really is to serve people and.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
To make somebody laugh, bring a little bit of joy,
or to implement something you know, inspiring or something that
can possibly move somebody and so possibly stir somebody in
a different direction if they seem to be going.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Down a different paths. And and that's even what I
love about tour as well.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Is like those meet and greets and those Q and a's,
you know, I go above and beyond, above and beyond
you know what is actually on the paper of.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Like yeah, I get a picture or do this for me?
That is a true moment for me to like connect
actually connect with somebody there.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
And the amount of questions I get a people's asking
things and I really try to show up for people
in those moments.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
But sorry, I kind of went up on the TANGI no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
There's no tangents here. Well, I think the thing is
too is like you're saying, is that you never know
what someone's going through. I mean, I'm you know, I'm sure.
I think one of the people you're referring to is twitch.
And I remember when I looked at my phone, I
was like what, Like I would have never in a
million I mean I literally screamed out what And it
was like because I'm like, how like the happiest, joyful, dancing, loving,
(30:46):
and I'm just like wow, Like that just so shows
that like you just have no idea and it's like
to really like dig deep and like have those meaningful
conversations whether it'll help in the end or not least
like to to like go that extra layer.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
You know, yeah, it just it just makes you just
at least when I when I heard that, my first
feeling was, you know, who can I.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Who can I call right now that needs me? You
know what I mean? Who? Who? Who have I not
spoken to in a while? Who can I just reach
out to right now just to think, you know, because it's.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
You know, I kind of feel like when I found
that out, I think it was just about a week
or two before that, I had this overwhelming feeling like
I needed to share something in this space, you know,
in that space of because it was during the winter
and that's like a big time for you know, mental
health and people are like going through a lot of
a lot of pain. And I was literally like had
(31:49):
this feeling like I need to like say something, I
need to post something, I need to like just share
something and just reach out. And and I can't remember
what it was, but I remember something happening and be
like and I just didn't do it, you know. I
was like I was like, oh, yeah, I'm doing this
Disney special and I just like I need to just
I need to focus on that. I just didn't do
that and then two weeks later that happened, and so
(32:09):
of course knowing that it's not your fault, but in
that moment, you do have that sense of.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Like what if I would have just you know, could
I have?
Speaker 3 (32:18):
And and I know everybody goes through that, and of
course there's you know, it's it's nobody's fault, you know,
and those in those situations, but it does sort of
inspire you a little bit more to reach out, you know,
and to reach out to people you haven't spoken to,
and also to just squash things too, you know what
I mean, Like when people are saying, oh, I have this,
(32:39):
you know, I'm not talking to so and so because
of this or that or whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
It's like, guys, like, you know, we are on this
planet for the shortest amount of time. We really are.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
This is such a fleeting moment and every single day
it truly is. Without getting too you know, you know,
preachy here, but it's such a gift. It really is
such a gift. I mean, like when you feel the
you're heart beating, you know, nobody get you know, you
didn't have to buy that, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Have to earn it. It was a gift.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
It was given to us, you know, and so we
are just so gifted with this life and it's and
I just want, I really just want everybody to feel
that way. And I know it's not the case because
I've been in that dark place. I've been in a
really really tough place, and honestly, dance some music really
got me. And also, you know, doing work and going
(33:30):
to listening to things and reading things and all that
stuff really helped me.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
And people say that, dude, you're the most positive, most energetic.
I was like, I think it's because I'm the most
messed up, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
Like I had to do a lot of work early
on to figure it all out, and I'm still still
We're still on the process, and it's still a beautiful
journey just discovering yourself. But on the way, the real
secret to living is giving, you know, and how we
give ourselves to other people, and how we serve and
how we show up for them, how we reach out
(34:01):
and and and for me, dancing and performing is a
way I do that, on top of you know, hopefully
reaching out personally as well.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
So I love that. I just think it's really inspiring
when people have a platform and use it to connect
with people, like using all avenues like listen, I'm married
(34:32):
to a singer songwriter. I'm best friends with the singer songwriter.
I can't do that, and I'm certainly not a dancer.
But when I watch people use like their unique avenues
and those outlets that they have to just actually pour
back into people, that's like the I mean, that's literally
what we're that's what you do on earth for Heaven's sake,
you know, like we're here to connect, to not feel alone,
(34:54):
to give each other another minute, to hug each other,
like we do the wind Down Tour, and it's so
fun because we get to like actually hug and cry
and like be with people and go heartbeat to heartbeat
and that matters so much. I'm just really thankful to
use your platform for that. Yeah, And I love the
fact too that you know that you say it's you know,
our our hearts are like our life is a gift, right,
(35:15):
and so it's like that's why I'm on this movement,
Like can't just everyone be happy and let's all help
each other and just love. And I'm like, there's no like,
I don't want hate in my heart for anybody. I
want to just like just love be well, like cause
it's like it can any moment, this can change and
we you know, go home. Yeah, but yeah, you guys
(35:36):
as a Dancing with the Stars family, like even you
and Jana, I mean you, this has been a tough
week for y'all too.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
I mean I just knew him from a lovely judge
who I wanted to impress him more than anybody on
that panel, Like I loved all the other judges, but
like looking like I went back down a few things,
and I like when when Len gave me a compliment,
it made my life. And as an observer, he just
had such a light about him. I can't imagine in
(36:03):
person what that feels like. I'm very sorry for your
loss because I know that you have had spent years
with them.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
I had the pleasure of knowing Land since I was
twelve years old, you know, when I lived in London,
and I remember him here just was always just he
had the gift of the gap.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
He just always had the great just energy and so
funny and playful.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
And then and then having the opportunity to work with
him on Dance with the Stars, and and then you
said it, you know where we all seek his approval,
you know what I mean, even if you weren't even
on the show, you know, I was just like, did
you like that? You know, you just always you just
he just had that like you just had that respect
for him, and that he had that presence and he
(36:48):
had that just that British gentleman about him. And its
just I feel incredibly emotional and sad about it, and
then at the same time, I feel so grateful that
the last season that we shared together, we.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
You know, I don't know, there was like this feeling
like this, you know, I knew.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
This was gonna be his last season, but I also
was I had every moment I spent with him, I
really I really savored it. I really savored the moments
I spent with him, and really and we we were
playful with each other, and we had these one on
one conversations and he and that even before the day
(37:33):
the last day, I walked in my j's dressing room,
there's this giant picture of land. It was framed beautiful
gold frame, and it's a picture of him and and
I had this handwritten message from him, and it was
so beautiful, but also like inappropriate humor, like funny. It
was a hilarious thing he wrote as well, and then
(37:55):
signed by him, and he walked He's like, oh there,
I just thought, you know, this is my thing, and
I just thought, give it to you and and and
I was just so touched and moved by that, just
thinking how our lives were so intertwined. And I don't know,
we knew he was, We knew he was, you know, unwell,
(38:15):
but we didn't certainly didn't know the extent. We had
no idea the extent because this was a huge shock
to all of us. And and it's incredibly sad. We've
had countless tears and phone calls with colleagues and friends and.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
And we're just.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
But it's but it's but a lot of it, though,
is most of it is just sharing how much we
just love the guy and how much how lucky we
are and how lucky we were to spend as much
time with him as we did. And yeah, it's it's
it's one of those things again. It's just there's been
so much loss I feel like this year that it
(38:53):
just it just keeps hammering home the importance of just
how fleeting this life is and how important it is
to really take advantage of it and to really love
it and to really connect with.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
People, because that's really what it's all about at the
end of the day. And yeah, he's a special he's
a special man.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, I mean, like you said, he's a true just
like classy gentleman. He has like a sparkle like that's
what it just And this is just a viewer's point
of view because I've never met him in real life,
but I just was like, just like a sweet sparkle
about him, lovely. But yeah, I'm very sorry for your loss.
And you were honestly the first person I thought of
(39:33):
when that happened, So I was just like, oh, like,
I just can't imagine because I know that you've known
him for so long. So is there a dance maybe
on the tour that you'll go, Okay, hey, Len, this
one's for you, you know.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah, absolutely, I think that.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
H m hmm you cry, weak cry, that's how that
goes here.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
So yeah, it's all right, Yeah, no, it's good.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
This is like the test of a life fully and
well lived, though, is to leave people that are a
lighte like you behind also feeling that you know.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Yeah, now, it's just it's uh, you know, I meanan
thinking back as there's this video that we did with
Nastia Luken when I danced and then he did this
little package and it was he was saying, like, you know,
I just wish that sometimes your body just starts to
kind of give up on you. But I just still
feel like that young old you know, Chap, you know,
(40:28):
that dancer, And and we did this, you know, sort
of a tribute to lend really and then he kind
of took over and he danced and and I just
can I just keep thinking back in some of these
these memories and these moments and just thinking just again,
just how fortunate, you know, we were to have have him,
you know, for so long and on the show at least,
(40:49):
but he certainly went far too soon in life.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
But uh, yeah, I don't know, I just love the guy.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
But yeah, they'll definitely be there'll definitely be some some
some moments of honoring him and tipping the hat to him,
without a doubt on tour. I think not only just
for us, but I think honestly for the audience. You know,
I think that a lot of the audience that will
come to.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
The show will also they're they're they're also.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
In a way mourning this guy that they've watched for
twenty years on TV, and there is you know, he's
Len Goodman, He's the head judge. He's the guy that
we all love, and I'll certainly want to want to
honor him and also to in a way celebrate him
with the audience for a moment in the show without
a doubt.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Yeah, well, Derek, thank you so much for coming on
and just sharing your hearts with us and your words
and your emotions and just like for just helping others
too through through what you do. And I know it's
like when I look at if I were to post something,
sometimes I stop myself and go, why don't want to
(41:58):
look dramatic or I'm looking for attention or like whether
it's about like a you know, form or abuse or whatever.
But there is someone that needs it, that wants you
that that is listening, and you know, what you do
through your dance and your words like it is, it's important.
So thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Thank you, thank you ladies for having me appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Everyone're going to be off. Symphony of Dance all new
national national tour begins September twenty twenty three. Tickets on
sale now at Derekcuff dot com. Will be there in
national Yeah I want.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
It, like coming, yes, yes, okay, you will be there,
Okay there and I shall we shall have a good we.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Shall have a good time. Hug tight tight all right, perfect, bye, Derek,
thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
Thank bite.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
Such a sweet soul. But he was always he was.
He was the coolest, like on on my season. I mean,
he's Derek Cuff, Like I grew up watching Dancing with
the Stars, and he was like one of them, you know.
I feel like for ages, Yeah, looks great and his
uh forever nineteen or something, the most beautiful, loveliest, kindest,
(43:06):
and she's an amazing dancer too, like incredibly I envy dancers.
Oh me too. Come on, Kramer, we've seen you. Yeah.
I can point my toe to save my life. Do
you want to see something? Try to teach me a five, six,
seven eight? Oh yeah, Well I didn't count, so when
like I had someone that would count, and I'm like no, no, no, no, no,
no no no no, I don't know how to do that.
(43:26):
I just memorize.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
No, I was not.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
I wish I could have been like I was a
good figure skater. Cramer, you're far. I can't. Let me
just get this baby delivered and then we can, really
we can. I can show you my least amount of coordination,
but some people just have it. I married one. He's
a dancer. I need to get Alan to dance with me.
It's one thing that does Alan dance. I have the
(43:50):
funniest video. I posted a snippet of it on Instagram
for like a little cute video that we did. But
I'm like, I've been trying to like cut and dancing
because he's like, I don't dance. But I'm like, every
so often, like we're in the kitchen, I'll start to
like try and sway with him. He's like, what are
you doing? Does he dance?
Speaker 2 (44:10):
No?
Speaker 1 (44:11):
No, there he sways listen, and so I kind of
caught him one time and then he's just like he
looked around and he's like, camera, dang it, listen if
usher comes on, your girl over here is not slowing down.
But to choreograph anything is not happening for me. Something
Derek said too, and that made me think of my grandpa.
(44:33):
I don't know if you've had this moment before. But
he was getting sick and I knew, you know, he
was just kind of starting his Alzheimer's. And so we
were playing. We liked to play cribbage together and so
he's the one who taught me, and so it was
it was like I knew he wasn't going to be
around the next year, and so when we were sitting
(44:54):
there playing, he wasn't playing like how Grandpa played, right,
because he's the most competitive human being, Like that's where
I get it from. But like he would kind of
like mess up on some of the pegs, but I
would just kind of like, you know, I would just
watch like how, you know, he miscounted or how, and
so I just kind of, like my competitiveness, I let
it go. But it was just in that moment I
(45:14):
just sat there, we just I was like, Grandpa, let's
let's not let's just we can just sit here. Yeah,
And it was like this silent and we kind of
looked at each other like this knowing that this is
our And I'll never forget that moment because I remember
sitting at the campfire seeing my grandpa sitting in the
like screened and porch and going, I need to go
sit with him, and it was the memory that I'll
(45:36):
forever cherished because it was I it was an understanding
that he's not going to be here next fourth of
July and he won't know, but and you just want
to bottle up all of it, like you can't touch
enough and get enough stories. And yeah, like I wish
I would have done that with my last grandpa. But
I was fourteen years old, right, so I missed things.
I didn't go to the hospital to go see him
because I was fourteen and wanting to be with my friends,
(45:58):
And like that is a regret I feel to this day,
like why didn't I go see my grandpa in the
hospital and said go to Lisa's house? And I know,
I'm like what I would have given to like having
that time back with my other grandpa. I know I
had this the other day. My Grandma's been gone for
eleven years now. She was my person. I only had
one grandparent my whole life, and she I just I
(46:22):
asked a million questions. I was alone with her the
last night she was awake. I flew in and I
spent the night with her, straight to hospice and like,
but you know, like there's just like time goes on
and you're like, oh, I wish I could have like
mm hmmmmmm, yeah, like different questions, like I want different
(46:43):
answers I want like I have different questions I want
to ask and I need her for certain things. And yeah,
it's a lot like my first dance when I go
up to Heaven will be with my grandpa at the
uh so he would take me. We'd go to these
German festivals and like he'd wear later hos and my
dad being in the band. That's the most Michigan with
October Fast. So I was like, I don't want to
(47:05):
dance now, like that's my first thing I'm gonna do.
And I got to dance them. They kind of have
that dance. But that's a maturity thing too. We can't
be hard on ourselves. I mean, I thought at thirty
I had asked all the questions I needed to ask.
But there's a couple of phrases that have just come
back to me recently that she said that have for
some reason, I hadn't thought of them and forever, it
feels like, and just recently she used to say, it's
(47:29):
not a decision to be made in a day about things.
So in my slow my slow down of the post
grief and all the losses and all the things like
I've really just been like not a decision to be
made in a day, just slowing down and seeing things differently.
But it's crazy how they come back to you, and
those words come back too.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Well.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
On that note, that's it's good. I mean, Cramer, it's
good Church.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
Love you guys.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
We'll see you next week.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Bye.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Seven
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.
Oh we're now on the record, now on the record. Hi, Hi,
it's a just Kristen today. Jk get a Jake, it's
just us, no kit Kat. We have some good memories together,
(00:22):
you and I we've really done it good, like duo
moments together in the past. I got real emotional this morning,
so I know you wrote quite an emotional and I
was like, well, first I thought you were canceling. I
know it was my first thing. Actually was going to
change it, and I kind of wanted you guys to
think it so that you would go in like a
(00:43):
too use thematic pregnant person. Well no, I just wanted
you to like really read because I was like, everyone's
going to see a paragraph and dip out. Yeah. I
was like, oh, no, this is her. I saw the
Preston seven match. I was like, oh, she's canceling. No,
her own baby shower. Here we go. No, I'm having
a little shower. And I just am emotional because it's
my last baby. How do we know for sure though,
(01:04):
because I'm a hundred Well no, I mean our friend
Nancy had a baby until forty she was forty five. Yeah,
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Yeah, just so we're super clear. Yeah, I just got
emotional this morning. I was like, it just means a lot.
I mean I got I just was thinking of all
the things you and I have done, chapters, husbands, babies,
I mean, yeah, we're going on almost a decade. Kramer, right, Oh, yeah,
it's a lot. It's a lot, I know. I mean,
(01:35):
I'll never forget the moment that you were sitting on
my bus bed and you told me that you were
pregnant with love and it was just and You're like,
funny thing, funny story.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Me too, me too.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
And that's kind of where it started. I mean, we
really did it, and we continue to do it supportive
and good. It's I get the the lasts of things,
Like I remember when I was putting away Jase's I
was taking apart his crib and building his like first
little toddler crib bed, and I remember just crying, going,
(02:12):
this is the last crib I'm going to have, and
just kind of like having that like cry fast and
then I'm you know, with us moving to the new house,
the designer was like, hey, do you want a big
boy bed for Jace oh, and I was like, well,
he does have a big boy bed. She's like, well,
that's like a I mean that's like what like a
really small like a twin thing. Yeah. And she's like,
(02:35):
I mean Jolie has a I think she might have
either a full or queen. Yeah. And I was just like, well,
I don't want to talk about right now. It's a
lot like I cried when we took apart the crib
every time, did you keep the crib?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
No?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yeah, okay, yeah, there's just I remember like going, okay,
I need to sell these things, like the clothes, and
like I everyone knows that I enjoy getting dressed for myself,
so the fact that I mean, imagine when I have
these two little clients that I get to get dressed.
So we have so many like rubber maids of just
like honestly at least fourteen rubber maids of like clothes
(03:12):
in our attic and the crib, and I could never
get rid of either, and I just every single time
I just would look at Preston. I was like, it's
too much, and I would just close the attic door.
Because I think I always knew that you always knew
you'd have another one. Well, I always wanted another one,
but Preston's a middle kid, and so he was the
reason we did not at first have another one. And
(03:35):
then he came to me and said, I feel like
we make really cool people, you do, And I was like, well, respectfully,
I raise cool people. Well you're on a tour bus.
But I'll take the indirect compliment. That's fine, and you're
not wrong. So we tried for two years and nothing,
So I don't try for two years, I mean like
actively trying each month, like I'm ovulating. Yeah, wow, yeah,
(04:01):
And I can't take you that along with legend love. No,
I'm spoiled in that way. I always am hesitant to
even share that because I'm surrounded by so many and
I work with so many moms that have struggles getting
pregnant and if they can get pregnant, keeping the baby.
But we've never that's never been an issue. So two
years and I kind of just thought it was just
(04:23):
not gonna happen for us. Yeah, and then here we are,
but you're you can now close the attic door once.
This is it. As I climbed your stairs like it
was Mount Everest today and needed an oxygen tank. Right
around the third or fourth stair, I was like, Yep,
this will do it, this will be it. I'm just
(04:43):
really thankful. It's interesting. Sorry, I'm just alive on my
mom that you talked about the clothes, because I thought so.
When I was first pregnant with Jolie, Catherine was like, oh,
I can't wait to see what you dress like high
you're to dress your little girl. And at first I
would put like the cutest things together, and then within
(05:06):
like a few months, I was like, oh, screw this,
Like it's a lot of work. It is a lot
of work. And then it's really expensive too. Like I
remember I bought Jolie a pair of I think they
were Oh they were like Jannati Zuppie or whatever. Yeah,
really about like zepis is I love us some brand?
Like we made this joke on stage out wind down
about not knowing brand, like not being able to say it. Yeah,
(05:30):
So those are expensive, expensive, And that's the only pair
I've ever bought that was expensive because I'm like m
M because they all grow them. What I did do, though,
is there was a Onesie. There was a Onesie and
a PJ that I kept of Jolie's that it was like, yeah, Cramer,
I know. I mean like I kept like her lovey
(05:50):
and like you know, stuff like that, but no clothes. Wise,
that's all I kept. I have two rubber maids of
stuff that no other baby will touch, that will get
passed down to love and legends kids. Yeah. No, I
want it to be nothing. That's the thing. I mean.
I remember I got some stuff passed down for my
mom and then like even like Mike's parents were like, hey,
(06:11):
here's like a cute little PJS at that mic war
so like we put that on Jas and that was
really cute. So like, I've kept like literally one or
two things. I don't know why. For me, I'm just
kind of like, I like, I wish I could do that.
But then I'm also like, well why would I keep
the extra because I'm just like I don't like stuff,
so I don't either. Interesting fun fact. Fun fact. But
(06:35):
I think I always knew someone else was coming, or
I prayed. I always felt it. I always wanted three
or four, and I tried to reconcile my brain that
the one we lost was the third m but I
just couldn't. So I don't know if I was just
waiting to the age where it was like medically impossible
for me to have another baby, and then I could
(06:56):
sell it all or what the deal was. But yeah,
I've kept all the CL's the cloth in the crib.
That's it. And I'm really super lucky because we have
two friends in our friend groups that have had their
third babies two June's ago and then last June, and
so by this June, I'm getting all the good hand
me downs. Oh that's great, yes, and don't have to
buy a bunch of I don't like gadgets. Stresses me out. Yeah,
(07:18):
like all the gadgets, like here's your sanitizer bottle. Well,
I went through your lists and it was very minimal, minimal.
I was like, she either has kept all of them
m m or or I'm on the organ trail Oregon trail.
Then covered a wagon did this and I can't we
Sarah Bryce and I were trying to figure out. We're like,
(07:38):
what do you think she really wants from this list?
And I'm like, I don't really think she Like, she
doesn't need no any of Like I didn't even want
to make a registry, but you do need it though.
That's the thing I got the shape like as you
know what I mean. So it's like I'm just happy that,
like you did do that because my friends are going
to buy big bows and like if it's a girl,
it will be I'll be inundated with like bow's as
(07:59):
big as a tad. And I was like, I can't
do that, so I got to keep it real streamline.
I personally think the most offensive gifts are from the
in laws or the parents. I don't or they were
they like Jolie still can't fit into certain clothes. That's
like they've been she's she was given me three years ago,
like twelve. I was like, it's big. It's big on
(08:20):
her mom. Yet it's like I can wear my mom.
I remember with Love. So we did find out Love's gender.
We did not find out Legends gender, and we're not
finding out this one's gender. Say I would want to
do that in the third it's so fun. It was
so fun with Legend that I was because Amazon Prime
and Target makes it so easy now to collect things.
Its fast, like I could have a whole room done
(08:42):
by the time I leave the hospital, you know. But
my mom was like, so I got Love her take
home outfit, like the outfit she was going to wear
them from the hospital and moms of that, and I
was like, oh, doesn't that seem intimate or personal like
something the mom or Okay, just checking because I remember
(09:02):
being like, oh, okay she was again, so this is
what she'll wear on the way made sure she like
said it three times did Yeah, yeah, that's nice for you.
Second baby was more boundaries than the third baby. I'm
not what no visitors told July I need to. I
was like, I'm gonna need you to hold a leg.
(09:26):
We're in deep now, Grammar. I mean, this is your baby.
I've come me to the hospital and duh, okay, okay,
I'm just so glad we're out of the I can't
imagine the COVID era of pregnancies because all those moms
deserve a refund. Really, I mean truly having the labor
with mass On, Oh can't. I have so many words
for that. But yeah, and then the people not being
(09:47):
able to be there, So that part I actually wished
was a rule for me. You know, I love a boundary.
I want everybody there. Okay, this is our personalities. Are
you a Jana?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Are you a like?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
I like I when I had Jolie, it was in laws,
my parents, Catherine, where were you my, I don't know,
you're always I have both FaceTime pictures of me and
Labor Yeah, with you and I So I think you
were LA with love La. Well you had love yeah,
but Jace, so but you were in LA yeah, so
you couldn't be in my right church yeah, but no
(10:22):
for my like yeah, I'm like, I'm more the merrier.
And then when I had Jace in Los Angeles, like
we had his parents fly in, so I love and
like Sarah Gretzky came to the hospital like I'm I'm like,
do you have music going? Will you labor?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Well?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Here was my with my Well, y'all can listen to Jace's.
And that's the most like embarrassing labor podcast episode I've
ever done, because it's me going like I got that pass.
Oh my god, I just threw up. Like it's like
it's I'm like, why we're in the right vie do this?
And why did we we podcasted our delivery like literally
(10:59):
Mike pressed for cord and it was and we didn't
edit any of that down. No, Okay, those are the
things on this episode of sea of regret for my
sea section of Jason, but like I am the worst,
like because I have to have sea sections, and so
they had to knock me out both pregnancies. They had
(11:22):
to or they were just like, let's do ourselves as solid. Well,
I started freaking out because I can't feel my legs.
I mean, like I was like, I can't feel my legs.
I should have been my a doula for you. I
feel like I could have really helped you. Well that's
I mean, I just think that's the most traumatizing. Like
I don't like to not be able to feel my
legs but feels. And so when I then woke up
(11:42):
and you know, they're like seasong my belly, you know,
baby comes out. I'm still like high on xanax or
whatever they gave me. So they placed the baby or
whatever dead dio is a pan or whatever, and then
they laid the baby on my chest. And then in
that moment is kind of when I start to come to.
(12:04):
And then that's when I'm like, oh, gave you give
me the more I said, They're like, we can't give
you any more about I said, I was like, no,
it is the weekend at Bernie's legs. That will start
to make a girl Panmic I'll say, I don't like it.
I understand. Sorry, I don't mean to figure out as
you're like, no, I feel really good. I like calm, quiet,
no people very sacred like it is. I don't want
(12:27):
anyone in the room while I'm doing I mean, you
can't with the see section. Besides, you're like person. I
want to share this little brief story because a lot
of moms have been messaging me about just my opinions
on boundaries and my openness about my parents. It's been
really sweet, actually, but this is a brief story. So
I made this post the other day about like we
have shut down visitors for six weeks at our house
(12:49):
because you know, none of our family lives here, so
when they come to visit, they have to like move
in for days. And that's a lot for me. And
and that's I'm just not that person. And I've tried
really hard to be that person. I feel like it's
not christ Like to not be that person. So I've
really gotten like holy and in the depths, and I
still can't do it. So now I just know that's
just who I am, and that's Okay, thank you Amy
(13:09):
Alexander at the refuge center. Really I'm not going to
try to sing it because only one of us does that,
so not very well. So I made this post and
I was like, we're not accepting visitors. This is the
sacred time. Like it's just like I have waited for
the deep breath of like that was our last visitor,
that was my last sheet set to wash, and now
we just get to be together in this sacred space.
(13:30):
And then I've really pushed it out to like not
even the grandparents until July, which I'm sure I'm going
to get a lot of hate. I'm not saying that
we're due beginning of June. But my world is me
with these kids and sometimes a Dada when he's off
the road. So like it's a little more disruptive and
less helpful when I have guests in the house. So
(13:52):
I remember I had requested that the two days I
was in the hospital with Love that we have no
family at the hospital. That Creston and I had just
met each other like five minutes before that, so we
were still trying to get to know each other and
our baby, and I had the weekend to Bernie's legs
and a bedpan. I was peeing in a bedpan. Reston said,
(14:15):
my mom and my brother are outside the door. His
mom lived six hours away. And I just had a
big smile and I go why and he's like, well,
they drove down, and I said, with a horrible idea,
and they were in the room when we moved up
to the room you settle into outside of the delivery room.
And then the next morning, eight am, his brother and
(14:36):
his mom were in my hospital room. Now first baby,
you're like learning how to breastfeed, Like, I don't want
my boobs out with my mother in law. She's a
Church of Christ preacher woman.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Like.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I just was like, what is happening? And his brother
says all right, Mom, we'll see you after work and
starts to head for the door, and I go when
is after work? Six pm?
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Hmmm?
Speaker 1 (15:01):
And I had to call a meeting. I was like okay.
I looked at the nurse and I was like, can
you clear the room? And she was like uh huh,
like she must do like you know, like I needed
a check or something. So mom and everybody had to
step outside. And I just looked at my husband and
was like, I can't I don't want to be half
naked in front of your mom all day I'm learning
(15:22):
how to Oh, that was something that should have been
discussed beforehand. Like that was very unfair to put you
in that situation because then you look like the bad
person too. Yeah, to be like, well, Kristen doesn't want you,
you know what I mean? Like that's not fair. I
just felt like the room lost all oxygen and it
got really really tiny. And she's a great, wonderful woman,
like she's she's microscopic, and no matter how it's your times,
(15:44):
I couldn't need now six weeks, no, no visitors mm hmmm,
uh huh? Is pressing going to be home that entire time? No,
he's hardly ever home really, he's on a ten day
run right now. But why would she want no? I mean,
like my I have my friends here, right I just
don't need family in the house. Can they not? Can
(16:04):
they come and just stay at like in a hotel?
They could, but we'd pay for that, Oh you would?
Uh huh yeah, okay, trust hmm. The third times a
charm Cramer. I'm proud of you for just putting your
foot down on the last one. How long is p
get to stay home for who no days? Oh yeah,
(16:24):
well that doesn't seem We've got a four day window
between mid May and mid June that he'll be in
town while I go into labor. So he had to
fly in the day. Legend was born from Ontario Friday
night in August, canceled a show and was out the
next day. Well, so we'll just see you got your
(16:47):
tribe here. I'm glad you're here. Grammar, that is all
I have to say. Oh I love it. Hold my
baby hair. Speaking of babies, let's see if Derek Huff
has any babies on his mind. Let's take a break,
get him on the show.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Hey, guys, what's up. How you doing? Well?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
You know, we were talking babies, and you know, I
just love to stir the pot because last time I'm like,
when are you getting engaged?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
And then it was like and now when do you
have a baby?
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Oh no, It's like that's like the next the next topic.
I'm like, well, speaking up.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I'm ready, really, I'm ready to get on it. Let's
do this.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
He's like, we babies, Anna is in the practice, or
Anna is in the family growing?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Oh all of the above.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Okay, yeah, oh I like that, how many kids do
you want?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I don't know. Yeah, I think we'll start with one and.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
That's how but I will say I will say vow.
I went to Valaja's baby like five days after she
had had a home and and val was so cool man,
he was just like, you know, hey, bro, like you know,
like we're like these overachievers and we're like, you know
all this, but like there's nothing like this, and I
just my only regrets.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I wish I would have done this sooner.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
And he was just he just said some really beautiful
things and it just it just really got me even
more excited about starting a family.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
So, yeah, what do you.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Think is you're like it's just from a guy's perspective
something that you like, you're you're scared about fatherhood.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Like scared about Yeah, oh interesting. I don't know. I
think I don't know if I'm really scared. Honestly, I
don't think I'm really nervous.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Like I'm pretty like pretty like ready pretty excited. Let
me rephrase that, let me phrase that. Actually I just
reality just said it.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I okay.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
So as an uncle of a Bazilian nieces and nephew,
I am a bit I'm chasing them around, worried about
every corner and every danger, and my sisters was like, dude,
if they're gonna fall, they're gonna fall.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
They get like what what I was like, They got
to be protected. So it's, uh, I'm nervous about that.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
But I think that that's just because I'm not around
it enough to understand that there is fragility. But there
was also the learning curve of a child having to
just experience life, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
I think it's really important. Yeah, So I think I'm
just gonna be a nervous wreck for the first at least.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
However long, I'm sure I'm gonna be just like, you know,
freaking out about every you know, danger, I suppose.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
But I'm still a helicopter. I'm a psych I'm a psychopath.
I'm my oldest is seven and we have another baby
do in June, and I'm a psychopath. I'm forever like
here's your helmets and here's your pads, yep, And I'm
kind of like the other where I'm like, I at
first would like take, you know, put the little padding
(20:02):
around the corners of the island, and then afterwards I'm
like listen. That's you're going to hit your head if
you don't. You know, you hate to be aware of
now what your surroundings are. So I take them off.
And it's like at times even their day, Jase went
to put his head unerneath table, so I put my
hand right above where it's so like he doesn't hit.
But at the same time, it's like he's got a
note that like yeah, yeah, yeah. He had just gotten
back from his surgery and he was like all out
(20:23):
of like, you know, poor guy. And so he gets
up and he hits his he hits the front of
his head on the thing, and then goes to the
counter and hits I'm like, oh my god, like and
so it was just like the head of all things.
It was like a pinball of like going from like
and it's like then I just wrapped him up in
like a little cocoon. But they need, like you know,
they they will learn too, like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
I think I think part of it too, is just
because I was such an accident from kid. You know,
I was always getting hurt and you know, jumping off
things and knocking my teeth out and uh, you know,
just all all sorts of problems. So I think I
just knowing my child, I'm sure we'll have that type
of energy, and so I just have to sort of
(21:08):
look out for a lookout for her because I feel
like you'll be a girl.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Oh I like that. That's cute. You have nothing to announce.
I feel like, you know, you just seem so intue.
I mean, he did this last time to us too.
It's okay, but I think that's cool. I think it's
it's fine. He's what he has to announce. This is tour,
that's the that's the that's you're a busy guy. You're yeah,
and you're going to be judging and then doing your show. Yes, yes,
(21:34):
So you should be scared of not seeing your baby.
That should be what you're afraid of.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Well, that will be. That's That's why I'm packing it
all in now smart. I mean, we're getting it. We're
getting it all in now. We're traveling, we're doing all
these things.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
But uh yeah, So it's gonna be really really busy fall,
but super super exciting. You know, Season thirty two of
Dancing the Stars is happening, and you know, and at
the same time and be going on tour to fifty
six city Uh, so it's gonna be crazy.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I haven't been on Scorn four years, so I'm so excited.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
To finally go out there, get on the bus, go
in to people's cities, see their see their faces, see
them person, give them hugs, the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
And yeah, it's it's Uh. We have a live band,
we have the most incredible dancers.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
We're actually having a whole a big audition this Friday
actually with all these hundreds of dances coming in and uh, yeah,
I'm putting a lot of a lot of heart and
soul and love into this show. And and of course
my fiance Haley, she's gonna be on the road with me.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And I saw her on the on the fire and
I was like, oh, I love that, Like I love
that you guys are doing this together because it's I'm
sure there's going to be some really romantic dances in
there too, and just like I don't know, I just
I love I love a husband, wife duo.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
You know.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Yeah, it's gonna beautiful, I mean.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
And the reason why I'm calling it Symphony of Dance
is you know, for me, it's well, for a symphony
is basically a collaboration, right, It's where every people come
together and it's like everybody's great at their individual gifts,
their individual instruments or their talents, whatever it might be
in life or music or dance, whatever it is. When
we come together, we really do create this beautiful symphony.
(23:11):
And that's what the show really represents, is it's such
an eclectic you know, different genres of music and styles
of dance and and you know, and just just people.
And that's what it's all about. This is about building
this beautiful symphony of dance. So I'm very excited about it.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
I didn't click on the dates. Are you coming to
us Nashville, Nashville.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Yeah, grand Ole Opry, We'll be there. We'll be there
grand Ole Opry. It's a great venue. I love performing there.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
So it's a nationale always nash will always show up.
They always bring great energy. So I'm excited. I was
just in Nashville.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Things were saying, hey, that was really fun. That was
a fun hang we have No.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
It was great. Well, listen to my sister.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
She's a real estate agent out there, and every time
I go there, she's showing me how that She's like, hey,
this this is available, Like you will want to come
out here, and because my mom lives there now, my
other sister lives there now, So it's a we're slowly
all migrating to Nashville.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Are you LA based?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
I am, Yeah, I live in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Yeah, most of LA has moved here, so we welcome you.
Our entire neighborhood is pretty much LA. So it's wild, man,
it's nuts, but it's a great place, like when you
are ready to like settle down, have the family, Like
this is such a good family town, as you know,
so it would be a good place to set up shop.
But I'm curious, you know, you you put so much
(24:37):
of your real life into your dances. You know, I
remember just you know, over the years watching Dancing with
the Stars and then also some of the dances that
you've done with your sister and you know, childhood and upbringing.
Is there a dance or a story in your life
that you haven't been able to put into dance yet
because it's painful or hard, or or a dance that
(24:58):
you want to want to do.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That's a great question, you know. I think.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
What's so great about what's so great about dance or
a performance, right is that you can create a performance
or create a piece that is very meaningful to you,
to me, to to to the person is creating it.
But we don't necessarily have to share that it's about us,
(25:26):
you know what I'm saying, or share that it's it's
it's our story perhaps because and so to answer your question, yes,
there are certain things that even if I didn't want
to necessarily share, you know what I mean, with with everybody,
if I wanted to keep it personal. But but without
a doubt, have the freedom and the luxury of really
creating pieces that can be very cathartic and and beautiful
(25:49):
about past experiences or traumas or pains or aches. And
that's what's so beautiful about art, you know, is that
they are they are a part of who you are
and you're But what's so healing and so beautiful about
it is that when you share those types of things
too with other people, you realize you're, like, this is
my story, but it's also so many other people's stories.
(26:10):
You know, so many other people experience you know, you know,
heartbreak or or or loss, you know, and uh or
or just other other elements. I mean, you know, we
actually did a piece a couple of years ago, you
know about my parents'.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Divorce, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
And it was you know, on television, and it's it
was one of those things where I felt a little
bit like do we do we do this?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Do we talk? We like share this in this way?
You know, and and.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
But it was it was a beautiful piece. I think
that a lot of people sort of responded to that
and felt that way, felt good towards it. But so yeah,
so so to answer your actual question, because I kind
of danced around a little bit, no pun and send it.
But yeah, there's definitely some things that I would love
to create that I feel like could be incredibly cathartic
(27:02):
for you know, past experiences, I should say.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
So yeah, yeah, I love when people put their past
like and explain it because it is so helpful and
I feel like it adds that like additional healing and
help for other people, Like I think obviously movement is
so healing. And then to be able to like when
you guys talked about the divorce, I'm like, oh, yeah,
that is like how I felt in movement, And like
there's just the emotions that you guys bring in dance too,
(27:27):
and like it's just all of it is so I mean,
that's even when I had my brain there's stint on
Dancing with the Stars. It was like working through certain
things and I'm like, wow, this was so cathartic, Like
this felt so good.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yeah. So there was a video I did a couple
of years ago. I wrote a song. It was called
hold On, and it was basically about about suicide.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
And you know, I wrote this video because I had experienced,
you know, something close to be you know, suicide when
I was fifteen.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Years old and.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Other people around me, and even having that those own
thoughts myself, you know, at a certain point, you know,
years ago, and I wrote this song and I created
this video, and so that was an experience where people
didn't necessarily necessarily know that about me personally, but it
was certainly was a way for me to sort of.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Share that in a in an artistic way. And that
video was you know, really really powerful.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
And then I ended up working with this young dancer
who I've known for a while, and he told me
his story about how his father, you know, died by suicide,
and we created this beautiful dance piece, this beautiful piece,
and he shared his story and it was so powerful
and you know, it's just just recently, obviously I've experienced
(28:52):
two more people close to me unfortunately that by suicide,
and it was just is something that, yeah, I go
back to that, that song or that video or that
it's that time when I created that as sort of
a moment to feel I don't know, like wanting to
reach out more, you know what I mean, and wanting
to sort of do more in that space because it's
(29:14):
just there's nothing more. There's nothing more painful than feeling
like you could have done something where you feel like
you want to do more for people. And that's that's
really truly, honestly my overall mission really, you know, when
people when I do do dance or perform or do
silly tiktoks or silly post or whatever, it is the
(29:36):
underlying sort of intention of almost everything I do is
really to be to serve.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
It really is to serve people and.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
To make somebody laugh, bring a little bit of joy,
or to implement something you know, inspiring or something that
can possibly move somebody and so possibly stir somebody in
a different direction if they seem to be going.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Down a different paths. And and that's even what I
love about tour as well.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Is like those meet and greets and those Q and a's,
you know, I go above and beyond, above and beyond
you know what is actually on the paper of.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Like yeah, I get a picture or do this for me?
That is a true moment for me to like connect
actually connect with somebody there.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
And the amount of questions I get a people's asking
things and I really try to show up for people
in those moments.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
But sorry, I kind of went up on the TANGI no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
There's no tangents here. Well, I think the thing is
too is like you're saying, is that you never know
what someone's going through. I mean, I'm you know, I'm sure.
I think one of the people you're referring to is twitch.
And I remember when I looked at my phone, I
was like what, Like I would have never in a
million I mean I literally screamed out what And it
was like because I'm like, how like the happiest, joyful, dancing, loving,
(30:46):
and I'm just like wow, Like that just so shows
that like you just have no idea and it's like
to really like dig deep and like have those meaningful
conversations whether it'll help in the end or not least
like to to like go that extra layer.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
You know, yeah, it just it just makes you just
at least when I when I heard that, my first
feeling was, you know, who can I.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Who can I call right now that needs me? You
know what I mean? Who? Who? Who have I not
spoken to in a while? Who can I just reach
out to right now just to think, you know, because it's.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
You know, I kind of feel like when I found
that out, I think it was just about a week
or two before that, I had this overwhelming feeling like
I needed to share something in this space, you know,
in that space of because it was during the winter
and that's like a big time for you know, mental
health and people are like going through a lot of
a lot of pain. And I was literally like had
(31:49):
this feeling like I need to like say something, I
need to post something, I need to like just share
something and just reach out. And and I can't remember
what it was, but I remember something happening and be
like and I just didn't do it, you know. I
was like I was like, oh, yeah, I'm doing this
Disney special and I just like I need to just
I need to focus on that. I just didn't do
that and then two weeks later that happened, and so
(32:09):
of course knowing that it's not your fault, but in
that moment, you do have that sense of.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Like what if I would have just you know, could
I have?
Speaker 3 (32:18):
And and I know everybody goes through that, and of
course there's you know, it's it's nobody's fault, you know,
and those in those situations, but it does sort of
inspire you a little bit more to reach out, you know,
and to reach out to people you haven't spoken to,
and also to just squash things too, you know what
I mean, Like when people are saying, oh, I have this,
(32:39):
you know, I'm not talking to so and so because
of this or that or whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
It's like, guys, like, you know, we are on this
planet for the shortest amount of time. We really are.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
This is such a fleeting moment and every single day
it truly is. Without getting too you know, you know,
preachy here, but it's such a gift. It really is
such a gift. I mean, like when you feel the
you're heart beating, you know, nobody get you know, you
didn't have to buy that, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Have to earn it. It was a gift.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
It was given to us, you know, and so we
are just so gifted with this life and it's and
I just want, I really just want everybody to feel
that way. And I know it's not the case because
I've been in that dark place. I've been in a
really really tough place, and honestly, dance some music really
got me. And also, you know, doing work and going
(33:30):
to listening to things and reading things and all that
stuff really helped me.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
And people say that, dude, you're the most positive, most energetic.
I was like, I think it's because I'm the most
messed up, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
Like I had to do a lot of work early
on to figure it all out, and I'm still still
We're still on the process, and it's still a beautiful
journey just discovering yourself. But on the way, the real
secret to living is giving, you know, and how we
give ourselves to other people, and how we serve and
how we show up for them, how we reach out
(34:01):
and and and for me, dancing and performing is a
way I do that, on top of you know, hopefully
reaching out personally as well.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
So I love that. I just think it's really inspiring
when people have a platform and use it to connect
with people, like using all avenues like listen, I'm married
(34:32):
to a singer songwriter. I'm best friends with the singer songwriter.
I can't do that, and I'm certainly not a dancer.
But when I watch people use like their unique avenues
and those outlets that they have to just actually pour
back into people, that's like the I mean, that's literally
what we're that's what you do on earth for Heaven's sake,
you know, like we're here to connect, to not feel alone,
(34:54):
to give each other another minute, to hug each other,
like we do the wind Down Tour, and it's so
fun because we get to like actually hug and cry
and like be with people and go heartbeat to heartbeat
and that matters so much. I'm just really thankful to
use your platform for that. Yeah, And I love the
fact too that you know that you say it's you know,
our our hearts are like our life is a gift, right,
(35:15):
and so it's like that's why I'm on this movement,
Like can't just everyone be happy and let's all help
each other and just love. And I'm like, there's no like,
I don't want hate in my heart for anybody. I
want to just like just love be well, like cause
it's like it can any moment, this can change and
we you know, go home. Yeah, but yeah, you guys
(35:36):
as a Dancing with the Stars family, like even you
and Jana, I mean you, this has been a tough
week for y'all too.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
I mean I just knew him from a lovely judge
who I wanted to impress him more than anybody on
that panel, Like I loved all the other judges, but
like looking like I went back down a few things,
and I like when when Len gave me a compliment,
it made my life. And as an observer, he just
had such a light about him. I can't imagine in
(36:03):
person what that feels like. I'm very sorry for your
loss because I know that you have had spent years
with them.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
I had the pleasure of knowing Land since I was
twelve years old, you know, when I lived in London,
and I remember him here just was always just he
had the gift of the gap.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
He just always had the great just energy and so
funny and playful.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
And then and then having the opportunity to work with
him on Dance with the Stars, and and then you
said it, you know where we all seek his approval,
you know what I mean, even if you weren't even
on the show, you know, I was just like, did
you like that? You know, you just always you just
he just had that like you just had that respect
for him, and that he had that presence and he
(36:48):
had that just that British gentleman about him. And its
just I feel incredibly emotional and sad about it, and
then at the same time, I feel so grateful that
the last season that we shared together, we.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
You know, I don't know, there was like this feeling
like this, you know, I knew.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
This was gonna be his last season, but I also
was I had every moment I spent with him, I
really I really savored it. I really savored the moments
I spent with him, and really and we we were
playful with each other, and we had these one on
one conversations and he and that even before the day
(37:33):
the last day, I walked in my j's dressing room,
there's this giant picture of land. It was framed beautiful
gold frame, and it's a picture of him and and
I had this handwritten message from him, and it was
so beautiful, but also like inappropriate humor, like funny. It
was a hilarious thing he wrote as well, and then
(37:55):
signed by him, and he walked He's like, oh there,
I just thought, you know, this is my thing, and
I just thought, give it to you and and and
I was just so touched and moved by that, just
thinking how our lives were so intertwined. And I don't know,
we knew he was, We knew he was, you know, unwell,
(38:15):
but we didn't certainly didn't know the extent. We had
no idea the extent because this was a huge shock
to all of us. And and it's incredibly sad. We've
had countless tears and phone calls with colleagues and friends and.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
And we're just.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
But it's but it's but a lot of it, though,
is most of it is just sharing how much we
just love the guy and how much how lucky we
are and how lucky we were to spend as much
time with him as we did. And yeah, it's it's
it's one of those things again. It's just there's been
so much loss I feel like this year that it
(38:53):
just it just keeps hammering home the importance of just
how fleeting this life is and how important it is
to really take advantage of it and to really love
it and to really connect with.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
People, because that's really what it's all about at the
end of the day. And yeah, he's a special he's
a special man.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, I mean, like you said, he's a true just
like classy gentleman. He has like a sparkle like that's
what it just And this is just a viewer's point
of view because I've never met him in real life,
but I just was like, just like a sweet sparkle
about him, lovely. But yeah, I'm very sorry for your loss.
And you were honestly the first person I thought of
(39:33):
when that happened, So I was just like, oh, like,
I just can't imagine because I know that you've known
him for so long. So is there a dance maybe
on the tour that you'll go, Okay, hey, Len, this
one's for you, you know.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah, absolutely, I think that.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
H m hmm you cry, weak cry, that's how that
goes here.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
So yeah, it's all right, Yeah, no, it's good.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
This is like the test of a life fully and
well lived, though, is to leave people that are a
lighte like you behind also feeling that you know.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Yeah, now, it's just it's uh, you know, I meanan
thinking back as there's this video that we did with
Nastia Luken when I danced and then he did this
little package and it was he was saying, like, you know,
I just wish that sometimes your body just starts to
kind of give up on you. But I just still
feel like that young old you know, Chap, you know,
(40:28):
that dancer, And and we did this, you know, sort
of a tribute to lend really and then he kind
of took over and he danced and and I just
can I just keep thinking back in some of these
these memories and these moments and just thinking just again,
just how fortunate, you know, we were to have have him,
you know, for so long and on the show at least,
(40:49):
but he certainly went far too soon in life.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
But uh, yeah, I don't know, I just love the guy.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
But yeah, they'll definitely be there'll definitely be some some
some moments of honoring him and tipping the hat to him,
without a doubt on tour. I think not only just
for us, but I think honestly for the audience. You know,
I think that a lot of the audience that will
come to.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
The show will also they're they're they're also.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
In a way mourning this guy that they've watched for
twenty years on TV, and there is you know, he's
Len Goodman, He's the head judge. He's the guy that
we all love, and I'll certainly want to want to
honor him and also to in a way celebrate him
with the audience for a moment in the show without
a doubt.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Yeah, well, Derek, thank you so much for coming on
and just sharing your hearts with us and your words
and your emotions and just like for just helping others
too through through what you do. And I know it's
like when I look at if I were to post something,
sometimes I stop myself and go, why don't want to
(41:58):
look dramatic or I'm looking for attention or like whether
it's about like a you know, form or abuse or whatever.
But there is someone that needs it, that wants you
that that is listening, and you know, what you do
through your dance and your words like it is, it's important.
So thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Thank you, thank you ladies for having me appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Everyone're going to be off. Symphony of Dance all new
national national tour begins September twenty twenty three. Tickets on
sale now at Derekcuff dot com. Will be there in
national Yeah I want.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
It, like coming, yes, yes, okay, you will be there,
Okay there and I shall we shall have a good we.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Shall have a good time. Hug tight tight all right, perfect, bye, Derek,
thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
Thank bite.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
Such a sweet soul. But he was always he was.
He was the coolest, like on on my season. I mean,
he's Derek Cuff, Like I grew up watching Dancing with
the Stars, and he was like one of them, you know.
I feel like for ages, Yeah, looks great and his
uh forever nineteen or something, the most beautiful, loveliest, kindest,
(43:06):
and she's an amazing dancer too, like incredibly I envy dancers.
Oh me too. Come on, Kramer, we've seen you. Yeah.
I can point my toe to save my life. Do
you want to see something? Try to teach me a five, six,
seven eight? Oh yeah, Well I didn't count, so when
like I had someone that would count, and I'm like no, no, no, no, no,
no no no no, I don't know how to do that.
(43:26):
I just memorize.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
No, I was not.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
I wish I could have been like I was a
good figure skater. Cramer, you're far. I can't. Let me
just get this baby delivered and then we can, really
we can. I can show you my least amount of coordination,
but some people just have it. I married one. He's
a dancer. I need to get Alan to dance with me.
It's one thing that does Alan dance. I have the
(43:50):
funniest video. I posted a snippet of it on Instagram
for like a little cute video that we did. But
I'm like, I've been trying to like cut and dancing
because he's like, I don't dance. But I'm like, every
so often, like we're in the kitchen, I'll start to
like try and sway with him. He's like, what are
you doing? Does he dance?
Speaker 2 (44:10):
No?
Speaker 1 (44:11):
No, there he sways listen, and so I kind of
caught him one time and then he's just like he
looked around and he's like, camera, dang it, listen if
usher comes on, your girl over here is not slowing down.
But to choreograph anything is not happening for me. Something
Derek said too, and that made me think of my grandpa.
(44:33):
I don't know if you've had this moment before. But
he was getting sick and I knew, you know, he
was just kind of starting his Alzheimer's. And so we
were playing. We liked to play cribbage together and so
he's the one who taught me, and so it was
it was like I knew he wasn't going to be
around the next year, and so when we were sitting
(44:54):
there playing, he wasn't playing like how Grandpa played, right,
because he's the most competitive human being, Like that's where
I get it from. But like he would kind of
like mess up on some of the pegs, but I
would just kind of like, you know, I would just
watch like how, you know, he miscounted or how, and
so I just kind of, like my competitiveness, I let
it go. But it was just in that moment I
(45:14):
just sat there, we just I was like, Grandpa, let's
let's not let's just we can just sit here. Yeah,
And it was like this silent and we kind of
looked at each other like this knowing that this is
our And I'll never forget that moment because I remember
sitting at the campfire seeing my grandpa sitting in the
like screened and porch and going, I need to go
sit with him, and it was the memory that I'll
(45:36):
forever cherished because it was I it was an understanding
that he's not going to be here next fourth of
July and he won't know, but and you just want
to bottle up all of it, like you can't touch
enough and get enough stories. And yeah, like I wish
I would have done that with my last grandpa. But
I was fourteen years old, right, so I missed things.
I didn't go to the hospital to go see him
because I was fourteen and wanting to be with my friends,
(45:58):
And like that is a regret I feel to this day,
like why didn't I go see my grandpa in the
hospital and said go to Lisa's house? And I know,
I'm like what I would have given to like having
that time back with my other grandpa. I know I
had this the other day. My Grandma's been gone for
eleven years now. She was my person. I only had
one grandparent my whole life, and she I just I
(46:22):
asked a million questions. I was alone with her the
last night she was awake. I flew in and I
spent the night with her, straight to hospice and like,
but you know, like there's just like time goes on
and you're like, oh, I wish I could have like
mm hmmmmmm, yeah, like different questions, like I want different
(46:43):
answers I want like I have different questions I want
to ask and I need her for certain things. And yeah,
it's a lot like my first dance when I go
up to Heaven will be with my grandpa at the
uh so he would take me. We'd go to these
German festivals and like he'd wear later hos and my
dad being in the band. That's the most Michigan with
October Fast. So I was like, I don't want to
(47:05):
dance now, like that's my first thing I'm gonna do.
And I got to dance them. They kind of have
that dance. But that's a maturity thing too. We can't
be hard on ourselves. I mean, I thought at thirty
I had asked all the questions I needed to ask.
But there's a couple of phrases that have just come
back to me recently that she said that have for
some reason, I hadn't thought of them and forever, it
feels like, and just recently she used to say, it's
(47:29):
not a decision to be made in a day about things.
So in my slow my slow down of the post
grief and all the losses and all the things like
I've really just been like not a decision to be
made in a day, just slowing down and seeing things differently.
But it's crazy how they come back to you, and
those words come back too.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Well.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
On that note, that's it's good. I mean, Cramer, it's
good Church.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
Love you guys.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
We'll see you next week.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Bye.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Seven
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