Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down and Podcast. All right, welcome to another podcast
of Winddown with Michael Coston and Janna Kramer. I'm sorry,
Janna Kramer and Michael Cosson. We're never going to get
a good entrance to the show. No, probably not, but
that's okay. How's Quarantine life for you? Bed, Same old,
(00:24):
same old, And that's our show. So we'll see you
next week. No, we've been full of just this past
week we've been crazy productive. We really have painting rooms
doing stuff, doing stuff. We painted them the office, we
painted the barroom. Speaking of the office, we have Kate
(00:48):
Flannery on today, who is buried in the hit sitcom
The Office, which is probably my top two, probably my
number one actually of all times to your second one
side felt that's up there. Yeah, what's number two? But
that's sitcoms. But then you have shows like you know,
what's number two, probably Signild, what What's on? What's Teetering on? Three?
(01:15):
Then Caribbean Enthusiasm, which is all this is all like
the same kind of stuff, yeah, which and then you
have you know, shows like The Wire yet Dexter, you
got Game of Thrones, you got all that kind of stuff.
But anyways, um, I'm I'm really excited to talk to
her because I know her from Dancing with Stars. Hey,
were you guys in the same season? No, she was
(01:38):
just on this last season. Yeah. Um. But you know,
I've never watched an episode of the Office, so I
feel like this podcast should just be like it's the
Mic and Cake Show featuring Jana I. I don't know.
I just I love um Steve carl I feel like
I need to see I think the problem was I
(02:00):
would You'd be watching it and I would just come
in and see a few seconds of it, and you'd
be like laughing, and I would look at and go,
that's funny. I don't understand. You gotta understand. You gotta
understand the characters, the stories. But I but I like
love Seinfeld. I feel like you can watch Seinfeld and
laugh at anything. Well, the Office is the same way
(02:25):
if you have seen it before. So like Comedy Central
always has the Office in rotation like constantly, so I
could turn on that at any moment. It could be
any episode. I don't know exactly what's going on, and
I'll laugh like I would like I did the first time.
That's awesome. See. Maybe because I really love Kate, and
I'm excited to talk to her, especially because I heard
(02:48):
that she while she was filming The Office, she was
a waitress. Still, like, I love that. I just think
that's so cool. I wonder if was it a dream
or was I wanting to do a waitress job last year?
Did I dream that? Definitely didn't tell me that. See,
I miss waitressing, like I would still do it right now.
(03:09):
I would for fun. I mean, if I have kids,
I probably would. I enjoy it. I love waitressing until
you didn't and then you quit. No, I love it.
I would do it, I seriously, I think if I could.
I just I don't know. I love being able to
help people and making their experience great for sure. But
(03:34):
maybe it's so crazy. But maybe I had a dream
about that. But I had a dream that I was
applying somewhere for waitressing shop. I swear, what kind of
restaurant would you waitress? It's a good question because I've
done all of them. I've done Joe's Crap Chat, I've
done Fridays, I've done Applebee's, I've done Greek Island. I've
(03:58):
done you know, I've literally done every but the only
ones I haven't done were the real highst like the
upper like the one we went to a love in Park,
Matt whatever, Madison Park. I don't think I would want
to do that kind of restaurant. I was just gonna say,
you know, you couldn't. I couldn't. It's too stuffy. Well
and would you like you Kevin, Like I couldn't even
(04:18):
take it serious? You shoot from the hip too much.
Where if you went to a restaurant like that, next thing,
you know you back, don't get that because that's just
can disgusting, like that's how you'd beat I mean, I'm
just really honest, Like when people came to the wood
Ranch girl and uh what in l A when I
used to waitress there, and yes it's a one by
(04:39):
the grove. And funny story, I was stealing toilet paper
before COVID nineteen. Me and Diana were so poor in
our electricity went off and we were stealing paper toilet
paper from wood Ranch because we didn't I wouldn't have
enough money to buy like toilet paper. Um. But then
I booked night and then I quit, Gee what you
(05:03):
gotta do? Um? But yeah, no, anyways, but no, I
would have to be It would have to be a
chill place like that, and I wouldn't want to go
back to. I didn't like being a bar girl. I
hated that because I'm not the bar chick there, like
here's a shot and I'm like, yeah, babe, and then
I like throw it away. Anyways, Well, I do feel
(05:27):
I have a lot of empathy for those people in
that profession right now because of everything going on, and
that must that must really suck. And I hope, you know,
they're able to find some work somewhere and and everything.
And I hope people that have lost their jobs are
able to do something to take care of themselves. And
(05:49):
you know, I seldom do I read comments, or do
we read comments about this podcast or anything really that
we post, but I saw one recently when we were
talking about the quarantine sen and someone was kind of
going off on us about, uh, we're being insensitive or
something about giving people crap being out and about wait,
(06:13):
we were insensitive about what we were. You know, we
were just second being insensitive about people, you know, being
out in public, and we're like, stay at home, don't
go out. But just like anything, you have to take
it with. It's all in context. You have to take
it with a grain of salt. We're not saying everyone
should stay in their house and not leave at all.
We understand people have to make a living, you know,
(06:35):
we are if you're an essential worker and you have
to or you have to make a living, you have
to make the money. You know. We're not saying people
that everyone should stay home, and I'm not I'm not
trying to defend what we're saying. I'm just trying to
make it clear just so people put it in perspective that, yes,
we we appreciate the fact that we've been blessing. We're
(06:57):
in a fortunate situation where we can work from um
um and we're doing okay right now. But we totally
understand the grind of if you have to work, you
have to work. If you have to make money, you
have to make money. You gotta do what you gotta
do to provide for yourself and your family and stay safe.
So if you've got to leave the house, do it.
But it's all about what we're talking about. Are there's
(07:17):
people that we hear about or see that are out
and goofing around or maybe they don't have to be out,
or you know, abusing the system right now because they
are naive about the situation. That's all we're saying. I
just think again, just everything's got to be taken into
the right perspective. And now I'm reading comments downloaded a
month ago and cannot get through even one episode due
(07:38):
to how vapid and shallow jan it was. I'm sorry.
Do you think that it's like mean tweets? You know,
so toxic? Oh well, it's all, It's all good. Everyone
can have their opinions. I just I just don't want
people are actual fans listening to this if they are
in that situation. I didn't want them to be felt
like I selated from from what we're saying. I didn't
(08:02):
want them to take it the incorrect way. I don't
care the person that wrote the comment, who gives it,
but yeah, so people that care about the show and
that we care about So I'm sorry, I have to
say almost zanex quen Mike said, Janna thrives in chaos. Seriously,
Janna can't even function on a daily basis unless she's medicated.
What or she freaks out, wines, cries, and flat out
has panic attacks if she thinks the wind is blowing
(08:24):
in the wrong direction. She thrives on zanex more like it. Um,
I don't take zanex. So wow, that's kind of funny
because it's just so ridiculous. People are crazy, I know whatever,
um it is what it is. I feel like the
ones people I do listen they are getting something out
(08:44):
of it. Yeah, it's either the train wreck you love
to listen to or oh that's why you look at
reviews almost for anything, and it's either five stars or
one star. Like there's very seldom are people because this
is like anything right subjective. People can have their opinion.
It's I'm sure there's some episodes where people who are
(09:05):
even a fan of the show are kind of like,
it wasn't my favorite one, but hopefully the next week
or the week before was great for them. But most
of the time, this is just like a movie. It's
just like a you know, music genre. It's just like
anything you like, what you like, and if it's in
the middle of that, people aren't gonna or if you
just listen to one episode like someone goes, you know,
(09:25):
Janna left at Mike for not hustling. It's like we're
we crack on each other, you know. But anyways, um,
I feel like at the end of the day. Hopefully
we're helping people too with some of our situations. We
we air our dirty laundry to help other people. M hm.
You know, although the other day though, in therapy, it's
(09:46):
not great to have therapy sessions in quarantine. Yeah, it's
hard when you're on zoom and there's a way out. Yeah,
we're having therapy last week and I thought it was
a great therapy session. There was ten minutes and you know,
it was like a therapist was like, so, what are
ways that y'all can connect together? And how that got
(10:09):
us into an argument? Shocking um, But you know, within
those two minutes and Mike gets up, gets up and
storms out, and and the therapist is like, this is
why I hate doing these kind of sessions because now
you're just stuck in the house and what do you say,
Is he coming back? You're like nope, Yeah, He's like,
is he gonna come back? I was like, now he's done,
(10:30):
He's done, And he goes, well, how is this gonna
How is this going to resolve? I was like, well,
one or two things. He's either gonna be in a
hole the rest of the day and you know, puff
his chest out and whatever or hell, apologize for being
defensive and then we'll talk it out. And it was
the ladder. I know, it was kind of cool, super cool,
(10:51):
but yeah, I was like, but no, he's done and
I'm gonna go now and gray, but I went for it.
Came back from a walk and I even said to
my girlfriends, I was like, up here it is. It's
either going to be good and rest of the day.
We're a bad rest of the day. Did they text
you and ask you later? Um? Now, I mean you
(11:11):
were like out with the kids and playing so killing
the game, riding the scooter. But yeah, all right, well
let's take a break and we'll come back and warm
things up for to have Kate Flannery on. So what
(11:36):
was your favorite episode of Office before we get her on?
Because I just want to get some Office knowledge. You
can't there's not one anyone will say. When season nine,
when Dwight and Angela are going to get married, it's
(12:00):
like the one of the last episodes of the whole series,
is she married in it? No? No, she's a train wreck, alcoholic.
It's like two kids. I think, drives a minivan. She's
an animal. She's awesome. So Anyways, this episode at the
end is when Michael Scott comes back and at the
(12:22):
perfect timing he pulls out of That's what she said,
with like tears in his eyes. And it's just like
that when you were crying on the plane that Yeah,
actually no, I think that was when he married Holly.
I look over, I was like, are you crying? That
the best watching the office telling you man, you get invested.
Let me ask you this because I was thinking this
(12:45):
before the break because someone asked Kate this as well.
But when someone's on a show, such a popular show
that has this following, that's just timeless. As you were
two on One Tree Hill and how big that still is.
Do you ever get tired talking about it? Really? Because
it's the show that made you the golf forever. Be
(13:07):
so grateful for One Tree Hill. And I love meeting
New Tree Hill or fans. I love it. I'll talk
to them blue in the face about One Tree Hill.
I love it. It's good to know because I feel bad,
you know now being in this kind of position we
interview people and have those discussions. It's you and I
have both know what it's like to be on the
receiving end and get the same questions about certain things
(13:30):
and just have to talk about it until you're blue
in the face. But it's good. It's refreshing to know
that when it comes to something like that career wise,
that you have that appreciation and respect for that. Now
here's the the other side of it. If I was
on a show that I was actually the entire like
I was only blessed, I mean not blessed, like I
(13:50):
only did three seasons. So if I did nine seasons
of it, or if I did, I mean, let's say
I was. I mean, for example, are our buddy Bob Sagett,
you know Danny Tanner, I mean Heenan said he's not
sick of talking about tree, I mean a full house.
But at the same time, if you're type cast and
they were all that is what it would that's where
it would get hard because it's like they only see
(14:13):
him or you know, for quite a long time as
Danny Tanner, Like that's why, um, what's his face? Uncle
Jesse wanted to do anything but Uncle Jesse, and he
started to do like these really dark dramas and murder
because he just wanted to be so out of it.
But no one believed that, you know, So I think
that is the only that's but I feel like people
like Steve Carrell don't have that issue because they're already
(14:36):
so yeah, but I think even someone like Steve Carrell,
who yes, we see now how first he is in
his ability to act, but at the beginning, it was
all comedic stuff. It was isn't like Michael Shannon too,
which were we just watching with Waco Who's wasn't he
(14:58):
comedy to not really know? Um? But you know, he
was four year old virgin and those kind of an
anchorman and all that kind of stuff. He was like
the sidekick, funny random guy, um the Office. I mean,
he took that over, but still it's mostly comedy. And
you know, but now you see him on things with
uh the Morning show him. No, I'm saying he before
(15:23):
he was just kind of this side part like co star,
but he was the star of the office and like
owned it, like took it over as and like delivered
every day. Um. But yeah, no, that's refreshing to know.
And I but even when we talked to Bob before,
you know, he even said he went through a transition
where he was sick of it, sick of being known
(15:45):
as as Danny Tanner and like always being like you said,
type casted in that and then he kind of later
on realized and appreciated it all over again, especially because
of all these streaming services and gainey new fans like
you said you are you're talking to new Tree Hillers,
and the fact that there's teenagers that are becoming true
(16:06):
Tree Hill fans right now because of streaming services is amazing. Yeah,
for sure, interesting, But yeah, I wonder, I don't know.
I'm excited and I'm excited. Talked her too. She she's
one of seven children, which means she's a hustler um,
and yeah, I'm excited to get her on to take
(16:26):
one my break before we have her colin, let's do it, Okay,
all right to rive Katey, Hey good, how are you?
(16:50):
Oh my gosh, I just want to can I start?
I loved watching you and dancing with the stars. Thank you?
So you're so sweet. Oh my gosh. I literally just
got a text from Pasha, my partner. He's not he's
in um Staten Island with this with his wife and family.
So yeah, yeah, I mean you did. I I was
just because Michael is like the biggest office fan that
(17:12):
has ever lived. Um and and I you know, I
I love you from Dancing with the Stars, and I
was just like you were not only um, you you
were just how do I say it, Like you were
beautiful but yet you were relatable and you but yet
you were funny like you were you had all of
it together and just like an amazing package. Like I
(17:32):
one thousand percent, I think you should have won. Like
you were amazing and you were relatable, and I just
I loved watching you like you made me happy every
time you danced. So that's so I really appreciate that
I was. It was a really unexpected process for me.
I didn't expect to enjoy it as much. I didn't
like the judging. But other than that, you know, I
didn't I didn't like that part either. Geta balls, you know, sorry,
(17:54):
I get a little meretith when I talk about the judges.
But like, you know, you know, I know me and
me and Julianne went at it like one time, but
you know it happens because it's just like you put
so much work into it. It's like you know, you're
not a dancer, but you sure as heck fuled me
and I thought I loved it. So I had a
great teacher. Seriously, Pasha is a great teacher, and I
thought he was a great addition to the show. And
(18:15):
I actually did. I did a bunch of the tour.
I just got off the road with the Dancing with
the Stars tour, which is crazy. I did um forty
three shows. I supposed to do fifty four but we
got pulled off early. But it was intense, I gotta
tell you, I literally, I mean it's a lot. We
were you know, we played Radio City and gosh, that's
so cool. You're on Rocket rollbus. I mean I got
(18:36):
the bedroom, so I felt a little twanky, but it
was so tough. You got the star room in the back,
and like if you call it that, yes, all the
beer cans came rolling back to my I love all right,
Michael go you know, first of all, I mean, I
have a million questions, but I'll start slow. I was
asking Janna this because Jenna was on a on a
(18:56):
TV show that ran for a long time, One Tree Hill,
and has this cult following and stuff, and obviously the
office does. And always wonder if people who have had
the level of success on the singular show like you have.
Do you ever get tired talking about it? I don't
you know why I had such It was such a
great experience, and I feel like the love that people
(19:17):
have for it is so intense and like they're so
invested that I don't. I mean, I always wondered, like,
what's I mean? And maybe it's just luck. But the
writing was so amazing that even if I didn't speak
for days when we were shooting, I didn't care. It
was hysterical, like it was so smart, and I just
felt like, you know, I'm just so proud of it.
(19:38):
I love that people are like consuming it, like they're
breathing it is sleeping and breathing it like they can't
turn it off. But it's crazy. I heard a rumor
you were still waitressing during the show first season. Yeah.
I kept my restaurant job because I wasn't sure if
it was going to get picked up. We had all season,
just six episodes for the first season, so I literally
covered my shift store in the weekend. I worked my
(20:00):
said they runched, Oh my gosh, and it started air
and and one customer said to me, excuse me, did
you just get a HYS direct to me? And I
was like, what, what the hell? No, actually, no, no,
actually I messed it up. They said, aren't you lactose
intolerant and I said, uh, well, thanks, yes, and thanks
(20:21):
for not bringing up my hys directed me that the
Alliance it's so weird. I mean, you know, it's so crazy.
Oh my gosh, but yeah, it was. It was so
so strong, and then like you know, and then it
clearly became clear that the show was going to move
forward and ever since, like Steve, you know, Steve came
out with forty year old Virgin. The signs were up
before we started season two and I was like, oh,
(20:43):
this could be really big, so you know, and then
when when that came out, it was like everyone just
you know, wanted more because Steve is such a He's amazing.
He's really I mean, I feel like we wrote on
his coattails in such a great way for such a
long time. Yes and no, at the same as a fan,
I just yeah, I mean Steve was amazing. I mean,
he carried such a heavy load on that show and
(21:04):
just delivered every time. But I think to your point,
the writing was so great where I felt like they
equally included everyone in that cast from you to Kevin too.
I mean, everybody like had their storylines. You knew so
much about every character where they wrote it in. It
was just like, and you know, Jane was making fun
(21:24):
of me. Were later in the seasons, I'm like, we're traveling,
I'm like crying to the office. She's like, what in
this a comedy? While you cry? I was like, you
don't know the whole backstory and it's just everywhere else.
So there's so much hard I thought. The Jim Pan
thing was always like, especially in the beginning, was so heartbreaking.
It would make me upset. As we were in the
writer's room, like just reading, like you know, reading each episode,
(21:46):
doing the table read. I'll be like, no, I'd be
so bummed when they'd almost get together. They're like, you know,
it was just so painful. Do you have I mean,
I'm sure you have a million any specific memory from
that show that you're like, this was just that special
day or that special episode for you personally. Well, you know,
(22:07):
it's funny. I feel like Michael's last Dundees were amazing
for a number of reasons because that was the Walk
of Shame when Diego and Michael Scott come to Meredith's house.
She's coming in for the night before. That was the
first and the only time we got to see nervous House.
So I just love the whole exchange. I thought it
was just I just like the whole less is more thing.
And I love that they never gave up on that,
because sometimes when seasons continue with shows, characters sort of
(22:30):
morph and they kind of start talking too much and
they get some of the exposition and they sort of
lose what was funny about them. I love that the
writers never ruined Meredith. They didn't, you know what I mean.
I don't know, even if I had like a lot
to do in one episode, like Lis or something, I
still felt like, Okay, that's okay, that's enough, Okay, we
can we can go back. You know, I never because
(22:52):
I know a lot of actors, like they like to
count lines and they get a little insecure. And I
was nervous at first, but only because I thought I
was going to get fired when when like if my
storyline got cut. But then I realized, like I realized
there was this great chess game going on, and just
let them, you know, let the writers, let the producers
play this game like they're doing a great job. Don't
mess it up by being an actor with a complaint,
(23:12):
for sure. But when I appreciate your performance is because
the yeah, the writers can write all this good stuff.
I feel like you're The physical comedy you brought to
your character was very underrated. And you know in scenes
like when you're being dragged into rehab from Dwight, putting
the back of your head with the bat like everything,
it's just like your mannerisms. That was why the writing
(23:35):
was funny, is because you made it funny through your
delivery and the physical nature of your Because sometimes my
lines will get cut because basically they would say, like, well,
your face sort of said what your line was, And
I was like, I get that. You know, we don't
need the words. If you sort of see my expression,
you kind of get it right. You know, it's funny.
Um There's the other scenes that I really really loved
were um uh when when um uh Michael Scott proposed
(24:01):
to Holly and then the sprinklers went off because he
lived too many It was so great to be a
part of, Like I just felt like, oh my gosh,
that whole like the departure of Michael Scott was so
emotional for all of us, and me in particular, and
my boyfriend. I met my boyfriend on the show of
the Office, and he because he's the still photographer for NBC,
so he was working time to time, so like he
(24:22):
would be in the fake men's room a lot. That's
where I'd meet him. Like, yeah, so he was in
the fake men's room the whole time when Holly's coming
through and we have the can't like we're lined up
before she goes like my head and hit sees. So
it was just something great to share. It was really awesome. Absolutely,
what are your parents saying now, because I know they
didn't want you to be an actress, so are they?
(24:45):
My mom wasn't a real big honest, this is the thing.
I wanted to be a child stars. They were like, Um,
that's not gonna happen. My dad on a bar is
like okay, whatever. Um, but you know, I think at
one point, I think about a year before because I
was forty years when I got the Office, so I
had been guest starring. I've done a lot of Broadway.
I was a second city. I mean, I had some
(25:06):
minor successes that like told me I was doing the
right thing, but um, I felt like a year before,
maybe six months before I got the office. My dad
actually said to me, because he was the most importive,
he was sort of like, are you sure you don't
want to do something else. I was like, oh my god.
Like if he's saying like, oh no, I like this
is getting bad. Um. But yeah, I think at first
they were sort of like we watched the whole thing
(25:28):
and you barely talked, you know, me talk, you know.
And then after a while they kind of bought on.
But that was okay. So I would just not to
take the call from Philadelphia which was three hours earlier,
because sometimes I wouldn't know what God edited out or
and so I'm like, Okay, I don't want to get
upset about what's in around. I know, I know there's
something bigger here, so you just have to sort of
trust the process. I had to trust the process, like
(25:49):
I don't know a lot of what was it for
you that's kind of stayed in it too, because I know,
I mean I sometimes I think about your aunt too,
you know, And I mean for me, I'm like, who
knows if I'll ever book anything ever again. So it's
and you kind of like well maybe, okay, what else
can I do? So what what was it for you?
They were like, no, like this is this is it?
And well, I think I remember like nine eleven, I
(26:09):
was waiting tables in Beverly Hills at the same restaurant
was um And we started the office in two thousand four,
so it was three years before that, and I was
doing my comedy act, The Lampshades, was doing it every
week and and auditioning and sometimes getting some you know
parts here and there. I thought, you know, if this
is it, this is all this is. I think I'm
okay with this, Like if I could go with that,
because nine eleven was like very reflective, you know, for
(26:33):
I don't know, I just feel like a lot of
people made really interesting decisions at that time. I feel
like a lot of people got divorced that time or whatever,
change jobs. But I was like, okay, I could live
with that. I could really live with that. So I
think that was just like I just got more and
more tenacious and just kind of did everything I could.
I love that, and you almost didn't. You're like, okay,
(26:54):
like this is this is good, Like I'm able to
do things here, and you didn't put that pressure like
I'm a failure because I feel like that's where I know,
that's where I go a lot where I'm like, it's
just Hallmark or whatever, and I'm constantly saying that, and
it's like, but it's still work, and it's still you're
still acting. It's still you're still doing but it's like
it's not that like dream job that you think it is.
But I love kind of that outlook to say, no,
(27:16):
that's that's still great and you're doing anything Hallmark because
I did a Hallmark Christmas movie probably like was it
two thousand ten or something like ten years ago, And
I remember there was this great actor that was in
UM in the cast. He had like he had one
uh he did movies and stuff. His name is Edward Herman.
(27:37):
He played like FDR and a TV movie in the seventies.
It was like a big deal. But anyway, he was
like a legit dude, like he did. I think he
was in UM Oh my god, Oh what is it?
Oh my god, I'm thinking that. I'm trying to think
of the movie that was about the water Gate. Anyway,
he's been He was in a lot of like very
early seventies movies, like really legit, dude. And I said
to him, Oh my god, I'm having such a hard
(27:57):
time because I feel like I don't believe myself. This is,
you know, not the way I talked. And he said, listen,
he goes, you wanna you're you're if we're presenting cheese,
you want to make the cheese delicious something like, you
want to make it really appetizing. It's sort of like
get out of your own way. Like basically what he
said to me was like stopping so full of whatever
(28:17):
you think that you're supposed to be doing. And just
because I'll be honest with you, there's so many people
I know that live on the Hallmark movies. They live
on that channel, and I feel like, who am I
to think that. I mean, I'm lucky to be in
their homes, you know, on their TVs. I mean, I
just really feel like there's a humility factor that kicks
(28:40):
in and and you know, everybody has to listen to
their own voice. But it's also like good over yourself. Yeah,
very true. I mean that's hard with any kind of
entertainment profession, whether it's acting, music, professional athletics. It's like
we all have experienced that where you reach a certain
level and it still feels like it's not enough, right,
Like you think about how many young actresses would die
(29:01):
to be in a Hallmark movie or die to being
a commercial, or how many college kids would love to
be on the team when I was on and it's
but it's any award winning or that Netflix show, and
you're like, I'm still not good enough to get there, right.
It's just finding finding that balance between being you know,
happy with where you're at, but not but not complacent.
(29:24):
You know it's well, And I think the secret to
is like, you know, everybody uh wants to get what
they want, but do you really want what you get?
You have to really make peace with that. What is it?
What do they say comparison is the thief of joy
for sure and a fortune cookie, but it's so truly
it's all your joy. And I just feel like, oh
(29:47):
my god, if you can just shut like put the
blinders on, like she asked. That was something I actually
learned on you have to go the stars, like, don't
compare yourself to other people person in that competition. For
most of the competition, I was all the other been
one of their twenties and I'm like, I remember getting
like two high scores two weeks in a row, and
like they kind of give me a little shade in
the ladieshop, and I'm like, what, like, just work harder,
(30:11):
what's wrong with you? You know, that's amazing, but it's
also just like again, like you just gotta keep your
eyes on your own paper, and it's hard. It's hard,
and you know, and whatever whatever you know. I mean,
if if it means you need to get off your
butt and stop waiting for other people to get your work,
and maybe you need to create your own stuff, you know,
(30:31):
I mean whatever that means, because I feel like I
do a lot of stage stuff just because I hate
waiting for the phone to ring, right, Yeah, for sure.
And it's just about hustling too. Was there any with
with a cast in the office, with that many kind
of people who all impacted the show so greatly, was
there any kind of natural contention of like, man, you know,
there's been a few weeks in the row, Angela has
(30:52):
gotten a little bit more, Meredith has gotten a little
bit more. You know, I feel like we were because
we all start to kind of us on, you know,
kind of unknowns, all of the unknowns pretty much. That
really wasn't I feel like we were pretty much rooting
for people, you know. I also feel like Steve said
us such a great tone because things were happening for him.
I mean, he had not started movies before this, and
(31:15):
I feel like if he's not acting like a jerk
like then no one else really, So I feel like
he set the tone. That's cool. The douchebag factor really
low on the show, which was great. Did you have
to take do a lot of takes with a lot
of these scenes, because I mean, I watch again as
a fan, I'm like, there's no way in hell I
could keep it straight faced, Like how the hell do
(31:36):
you do that? But in that kind of show, are
you me? But you also ruin up for other people
like you were on the take laughing, and also like
you have to you guys are like let's go. I
want to get home. Stop laughing. It's so true. And
I also feel like, also you're part of the funny
if you can keep it together for sure, like like
(31:58):
you know, then you're then you're in it it. So
you just have to, you know, do And sometimes I'm
like I'm gonna drama, I'm gonna drama. I'm gonna drama,
Like I kind of things to myself, like what I
can't even imagine. Um, Kate, can you tell us about,
um what you're doing right now, because um, you're helping
COVID nineteen raising some money right yes, Amaze is this
(32:19):
amazing organization that, um they're connected to the variety of
Boys and Girls clubs of Los Angeles and they you know,
they're basically trying to keep the kids that go to
the boys and girls clubs like they are. They go
for exercise, but they also go for food. They get
fed there, and you know, all those things are closed
right now, so we need to figure out how to
(32:41):
feed these kids. So what we're doing is we're asking
people to donate, and um, we're uh gonna pick some
people from the people who donate, um to have a
virtual coffee date with creed Oscar plays jan and mea
plays Manredeth. So it's gonna be that's awesome. So I
(33:02):
feel like if that's not incentive, I mean, um, yeah,
what is I mean? But also just the incidive of
the kids, like come on, like we're I know, everybody's
having a lot of weird issues right now. Financially actually
all that stuff. But I'll bet you have food in
your stomach. You know, I bet you've got a roof
over your head and you're not you know. I mean,
(33:22):
it's just I don't know, it's just a little perspective,
perspective and people can go to Amy's dot com dot
com slash the office. Um yeah, and it's uh, you know,
it's easy. You don't have to give a lot. Really,
I mean a little bit. I said, if everyone just
gives a dollar, like, imagine how much money can be raised.
(33:43):
That's that's actually that's right. I mean it's crazy. So yeah,
I mean maybe that one thing you're going to buy
on Amazon that you don't really need, right, Okay, thank
you so so much for taking time out of your
day to be with us. Go call your boyfriend back
and we appreciate your time. Appreciate so much, Kate. You
guys are awesome. Take care of Kate. Oh, I forgot
(34:04):
to show my dundee. Oh that's so great. I don't
know what this is, but I'm sure he'll fill me in.
I'll feel you in. This makes my heart warm a dundee. Yeah,
I'll tell you. I'll feel you in don't mind my
pretty wife. Okay, we're awesome. Thank you, thank you. Oh
(34:29):
my goodness, I love her. You have to, I think,
sorry like you, but you didn't say something like she
was she's Oh my goodness, she was awesome. I just
have to make a little asterix though, too. I love Hallmark, Okay.
I would like to be the new Laurie Loughlin for sure.
(34:50):
So that was just like back in the day. I
used to be like, oh, because you know, I see
people on things that I'm like, well, I mean, anybody
wants to be you on the billboard going down sunset
and you know, but I'm I'm happy to be a
Hallmark girl. You love the Hallmark. I love the Hallmark Channel.
I love life. Great to you, they love you, love them.
But she's amazing, so much fun. I just want to
(35:12):
sit down and have coffee with her, for sure. But
she reminds me of your aunt a little bit. Yeah,
because your aunts in the Second City. It's just like that,
like you know, and she worked her butt off and
she got her you know, she got her break. I love.
I just love that so much. All right, um, let's
take a break and then let's read some email. Do
(35:40):
you want to read an email? Bib did you really
want me to read the email? Which one do you
want me to read? Do you? Uh? Carly? Carly? Okay? No, no, Anonymous,
I'm sorry, Anonymous. I mean Carly needs to be heard too, Okay.
Quarantined and no therapy. I've been with my husband for
thirteen years, married for seven. We have three kids together.
Are two boys are twelve, up in six, and our
(36:00):
girl is eighteen months. Just three weeks ago, my husband
confessed to me that he was shoot um. Just three
weeks ago, my husband confessed to me that he was
unfaithful to me twice over ten years ago. He says
it was just a one time thing, and he's a
great man who I know made very poor choices. So
I gave him one condition, we have to go to
couples therapy. Now with the quarantine, we've not been able
(36:23):
to go to therapy or speak to anyone. Now that
the kids are home and my husband is working from home.
He sleeps in the guest bedroom when I asked him
um to. But sometimes that is not enough. Some days
are good, others not so much. I have hoped for us,
but we need help and it's hard to get it. Now,
what are some other ways we can work on our
marriage without therapy? Right now? You know it's so hard
(36:44):
about that. It's like it's twofold. First is like I
love that he told her, Like what a gift that
like he gave her because she doesn't have to find out,
Like she didn't have to find out. She didn't have,
you know, to discover it. So like at shows right
there that he must have just been guilt ridden with
all this guilt and that you know, he just couldn't
(37:07):
live with that anymore. So you want to tell her.
And I think that's great that he did that. However,
now she's in that place where it's all been a lie. Mhm.
How could he have said these things to me? How
could he have done these things? Oh? I bet? Okay,
So ten years ago when we were having our one
(37:29):
kid and you know, when we went to this or
we went to this birthday party, that was a lie,
and like this was a lie because of one incident
makes it all a lie for us. And that's what's
just so like devastating because it's almost like in my
mind and I this is probably the worst thing ever
(37:49):
I could ever say. But if it was one time.
I want to be like, I don't even want to
know because I don't want my past to feel like
a lie. But then like, but then it is a lie,
because that's a lie that you're like keeping from me.
So it's such a weird. Yeah, I was just gonna
ask you. And this isn't me believing that this is
the what should have happened, or this isn't me saying
(38:10):
this is what I do. This is just me kind
of playing devil's advocate just for the topic of conversation.
And when it's something that happened that long ago, like
you said, he must have been just eaten away by
this um over time. I still want to know. No, no, no,
for sure, But if you look at it from a
(38:32):
big picture, like stand away from it, you're like, okay,
say he hasn't done anything in over ten years and
they have these three kids in its great life. It's
also I can see how difficult it is to get
to the point to say something when you're like, man,
(38:53):
I don't want to hurt this person's it's it's so tough. Ultimately,
you can never go wrong telling the truth, bottom line,
And I can never go wrong, and I think at
the end of the day, that is always the right
thing to do, is to tell the truth because no
matter what, if that person, like that person is living
with that lie in that shame and for them, that's
so important to tell and to like let that go. Now,
(39:17):
obviously the it's going to end up hurting the spouse
or the partner, and that's unfortunate, but this, you know,
it's very unfair, and it's it's all those things. But
that is, at the end of the day, the right
thing to do. And even though I say I don't
want to, like even if it's one time, I do. Yeah,
it's a it's a do, but don't. And I think
of it like insects in the city, when Steve cheated
(39:39):
on Miranda, Um, it was just that and like in
Carrious like it was just that one time, you know,
and I feel like, yes, it was just that one time.
But Steve, look how upset he was, like he couldn't
have that lie and obviously like he had to let
that go. So I don't know. I I would say,
(40:01):
like it ways to help them. I mean, it's it's
so hard not kind of being in that space. What
I would say and what I've learned is that even
though maybe to you and I'm not saying that you're
doing this, I'm just making this up, saying that you
might be thinking those memories are alive, but those memories
are still your memories, so whatever. So like, for example,
(40:22):
I used to say to Mike, all the time, you
took away my first year of marriage, my first yeah,
first year of marriage and are walking down the aisle,
so that must have not been real. So the marriage
wasn't real, you know, Jolie's birth, all that stuff, being pregnant.
So I let him take those memories from me. And
my therapist kept saying to me, no, you were present there,
(40:43):
that doesn't that's not for him. He can't take those
memories from you. But I held I let him have
that power to take that memory because I'm like, well
he wasn't present, and she's like, but were you? Were
you present? Those memories are still real. Your relationship memory
might be taken, but your memory of those things can
(41:05):
still be real. And also to you know guys, and
I'm not saying just guys, but like women too, when
when you're in that relationship, I knew I've done this too.
I can like you guys said, um, you can, and I,
like I said, I've done this too where I have
um compartmentalized it. So maybe he was present, but like,
(41:25):
how do you how do you say that? Because I'm
like you, you you were and you weren't. Really You're
a version of your one version was present. Yeah, I mean,
I can see how one lie can go over, can
bleed over into other memories. But ultimately, you know, I
was still present at our wedding and still there and
the same thing with our daughter. And I know it's
(41:47):
hard to believe that because of things that had gone
on or we're going on, but I'll still there in present. Um,
you know my thing, I guess for any kind of uh,
I don't know advice. Again, we're not professionals, but early
on what did help us once we discovered it was
the fantos check in and just to have for when
(42:10):
you're in this kind of environment around each other so
much where passiveness could be so easy, and getting angry
with each other and getting short and defensive with each other,
having it the nightly check in, especially at this vulnerable time,
just to speak on your feelings, affirm each other, express needs,
and own anything you need to own for that day
(42:31):
and just do you want to go through that again
just in case if someone has missed that, Yeah, if
if if anyone out there has missed that. And for anonymous,
you express your feelings to each other. You can just
state your feelings and you can do a brief description
why you're feeling that way. I'm feeling angry, I'm feeling hurt,
I'm feeling sad, I'm feeling happy, I'm feeling whatever it
may be, you affirm your partner affirmed them. It could
(42:51):
be something as simple as, hey, I appreciate you cooking dinner,
clean up the kitchen, to hey, I appreciate you not
getting defensive when I expressed my feelings earlier today or
when I was kind of acting mean towards you. You didn't,
you know, retaliate um needs you express your needs of
you know, around things coming up or in that day
or in that moment, or say hey, I really need
you to be more empathetic and you know, and maybe
(43:14):
apologize again or and then you know, own own anything
any anything that you did, and just being on the
receiving end of things to hear, you know, especially early
on when Janna would sit there and do these check
ins and own something from that day or recently of Hey, ultimately,
(43:37):
I am sorry for being mean towards you, or being
past ever being aggressive and reacting in a negative place
around being hurt. Like just receiving her owning that motivated
me more to be empathetic. So that's the only thing
I could really say in this time, with no therapy
and around each other so much, just over communicate those
(43:59):
feelings so it becomes a more natural thing. Yeah, I
love it, and I'm sorry that y'all are in that space.
But I love the fact that you guys are willing
to fight through it because I think if two people
can well, we believe that if two people um work together,
you can get through it. All Right, Babe, I think
that's it. I think that's it. Um, you're ready to
(44:20):
go kill the parent game. By the way, can we
talk about can we do like the next episode? Do
um like a mommy dad episode? Just talk like all kids.
Let's do it, Okay, alright, bye guys,