Pillow Talk with Patti Stanger

Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger whines down with us this week, and she's got some knowledge to drop on Jana and Mike about infidelity. She has some expert insight as to why people cheat, and some tips on how to live with someone who's cheated. But she and Jana MAJORLY disagree on how to pickup men. 

And Jana has a shocking secret to admit to Mike from years ago in their relationship. 

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Swine Down with Jane Kramer and I Heart radio podcast.
So sometimes you guys might wonder what we talked about
before podcast. Let me just I said, you guys stop
talking and record this right now. So what we just
started talking about is we came into the studio and
there are sleep number pillows and for me, I don't

(00:22):
like the fact that Mike has to sleep with about
ten pillows because when I make the bed in the morning,
where do I put those pillows? When you make the
bed in the morning. Wait, wait, wait, wait a second,
I'm sorry. Okay, yes, you do make the bed a lot,
but you don't, but you don't when I make the bed,
I make sure that it's pretty and that have the
nights I practically make the bed. Yeah, but you make

(00:45):
the bed are never used, but that looks better. So yes,
you do coming into our room on a daily basis.
But sometimes I like But I'm just saying I like
to make the bed look really nice, like how the
designers like have the bed made and what when I
do do that, which again is rare, but I like
to do that. But I would do it more if
I didn't have six five six pillows to have to

(01:07):
work with on your side of the bed because where
do I put those? And then I put him in
your closet and there's not room in the closet, and
it's just frustrating because then you pull your pillows out
of the closet, so I don't so I see these
boxes here with pillows, And then you and Mark started
talking about well Eastern only sleeps one pillow. He's like
a he's a vampire that it stands straight up right. Yeah, yeah,
this is the pillow talk. We have one pillow each.

(01:31):
We're going minimal. That was my wife's decision. And then
Mark said that he has to have pillows all the
way down his legs. So I mean, it's a big
body pillow. It's especially made pillow for your knees. So
clearly I'm not the only person who has this what
Mike has it. But also they have a special one
made for your knees together ankles. I think they take
care of themselves up at blankets between my ankles stop,

(01:51):
I don't like I just kind of wrapped them around.
I don't like my skin to touch my own skin.
And the funny story is that I've been that way forever.
And I mentioned to my sister, and she's the exact
same way. She has a special thing she wears between
her boobs so her boobs don't touch when she's laying.
She's gonna love you for saying that, Oh my gosh.

(02:15):
And then do you like one? You like one to
keep you propped up? Right? You know? All I know
is that when we go to bed, let me just
say this, he makes he makes a fort pillow so
that I don't see the light from his eye bad
because he plays games before he has to go to
bed out of them in my heart, so I don't
wake you up, right? But then I look over there

(02:36):
to try to cuddle with you, and I have to
fight through a fort pillow to get through to you
on your side of the bed. I'm like, that's too
much effort to go to strategically place so you don't
wake me up. I see that, But what do you
like to do with your pillows? I like to see
I'm the same way as Mark, but I have to
hold one and I have to have one between my legs.
But I don't like body pillows because it's like I'm
having another person. It's like cuddling, but it just makes

(02:59):
me hot. So that's what I don't understand, and that's
why I wanted to talk about this on air because
I was like, oh, that's why I said press record,
because if you like to cuddle with a pillow, what's
the difference between me cuddling with you which you don't
like to talk? It's so hot? Yes, but I know
your body. You're cold as ice. You don't get proper

(03:22):
blood flow to your extremities. But I'm like a human blanket,
so anything I'm up against is usually hot, which doesn't
make sense. And while you're holding a pillow, because when
a pillow pillow breathes, it's not a human body. But
what is it though? Is it the comfort of holding something? Yeah,
it's just just train your mind to like comfort to
hold me because it's too hot, No, hot bog. Could

(03:44):
it be a stuffed animal? Could it be like a bid?
Be sure to be big and comfy, and I'm big
and comfy. But if I wrap myself in an ice
dress tiny, yeah, that could work. You know that'd be good. Well,
all I know is that now I'm going to have
twenty pillows. So thanks Sleep number, I'm super excited to

(04:05):
do your ad to have more pillows. Um, but talking
about uh touch, it's very interesting. So I went to
the O B g U I n this morning and
I actually instagram well yes, actually he did, but my
ob gyne is a guy. But I got cleared because

(04:27):
it was the six week check up, so I haven't
talked to you about it. Not he really for sex,
No I got. I mean I got cleared to officially
work out and do abs and all those things she's
been doing. But I know I haven't done apps. So
one of the things, and I said, one of my
biggest pet peeves and I kind of can relate to you,

(04:49):
babe about this. So I'm at the gynecologists and she
has done this, and I said, I posted a story
about this, and I said, you guys, I'm going to
share on my podcast next week what drives me crazy
at the gynecologist that this person does. And they're probably thinking,
you know it paps me, but no it's not. So
remember the nurse. I don't remember her name, but every

(05:10):
single time I'm sitting to get my blood pressure, she
rubs my back like in a slow circle movement, and
it makes my skin literally crawl, and I'm like, I'm
a thirty five year old woman. Why can't I say
can you please not do that? But yet I sit
there and here's the problem. So today she's rubbing my back.
He is Jinna. He has just breathe, and I'm like,

(05:33):
please put your hands off my back, and you're rubbing
me like this is making me like I'm crawling inside
my skin. But then my blood pressure doesn't read the
first time, so she's got to do it again, and
she rubs my back and doing it all over again.
I'm like, this is what Mike feels with intimacy and
running back world. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Yea,

(05:54):
but here's where I'm going to say, you're mean, because
that's the nurse. I'm your wife. So do you really
feel like skin like nails on a chalkboard when I'm
rubbing your back? Sometimes? Yeah, I think I do. Your
face is like I really want to say yes, but
but I just don't understand why I can't say can
you please not do that? But then I feel bad

(06:15):
because I don't want to hurt her feelings. What is that?
Can can anyone could? I don't want to. I don't
want her to do that, but that's not you're saying
you don't like something, isn't shouldn't hurt someone else's feelings, Mark,
I don't think he would make her feel bad. I
don't think she has any investment in rubbing your back,

(06:36):
but she doesn't single time. I don't want just at that.
But that's why I say could dependency because you don't
want hurt because you make up that she will feel bad,
so you don't want to hurt her feelings when really
the reality is time. If you told that somebody, Okay,
no problem, I wouldn't think twice of it. People, but
people like you and me worry about that. I just

(06:58):
feel like if I said, because my I'm like, be
a big girl, be a big girl, Janna, tell her
to stop rubbing your back, Tell her to stop rubbing
your back. And I was about to say it, but
then I'm like, I don't want her to think I'm
a bee? But why why why would somebody think you are?
Because I'm telling them to stop something, stop something that
you don't like, right, I don't know, But I'm not
saying it's easy because it sounds ridiculous when you talk

(07:19):
about it like this, but I get it. But instead
I'm sitting there like nails on a chalkboard, wishing she
would get her hands off of me and stop rubbing me.
You know, you'd probably be thrilled to stop you but
I think that's our thing. I think she's an older lady.
You know she's but I don't know. She kind of
annoys me, and so it's just it's frustrating. We're also
worried about what other people think. That's the bigger issue

(07:41):
I think is that there's there's the quote that says,
you wouldn't worry so much about what other people think
if you realize how little they think about you, because
they don't. Everyone just thinks about themselves. They're not thinking
about you. But I'll be worried about I would to
think of me, to think of an idiot, to think
of a jerk. Yeah, they don't think anything about you.
Do you think it's more of people thinking thinking that

(08:03):
way that people are thinking about them or is it?
Are we that way? Because in the past people have
said what they meant and people get offended, like people
are too sensitive and take it personal. It's like, oh,
you don't want me to rub your back out. I
was just trying to help you. Like, jeez, I was
just trying to be here and support you and calm
you down, but you don't want me to do it. Okay, fine,
Like you're a bit right, and the next thing you
see you're on on social media. Oh my gosh, I
have the craziest She's the worst. I mean, I don't

(08:27):
think she has social but I mean again, I agree
with you. I think that's the bigger issue about the
fact that why do we care what people think? But
I do? I mean, you care. Just in therapy the
other day, you you wanted us to do a different
to resolve an issue different so that you didn't think
our friends thought this way. You know. Yeah, sure, so
it's like we so we care about what the people think.
But I think it also depend Do you ever have

(08:48):
your moments, like in that situation where you're just in
a mood that you don't care and you'll just say it.
I don't think I could get myself there because I
really is, you know, frustrated as I was, and a
no wad. I just can't say it. And I'm fearing
my pop smear in three months because I don't want
her to touch me. I'm fine with the pap smear.

(09:09):
I don't want her rubbing my effing back. See, I'm that,
I'm that. I'll have my moments where I'm out way,
but also I have times where I just don't care
at all. Like today playing golf with Justin and Garrett.
There's like a seven year old man in front of
us that was taking us. We has time on the
tea box and finally I was like, we need telling
the hurry up there. I know that's what I mean.
He's like seventy and I was like, hurry up. Oh
my god, Well your mean so mean. So we have

(09:32):
Patty Stanger coming in millionaire matchmaker and apparently she's a psychic.
Now so I'm a jill of all trades? What I
did there? Jack said Jacket Steele. Um, so it was good.
We have to explain your joke. I still don't get it,
but that's fine. So, oh my gosh. Moving on, let's
talk about sleep number, shall we? Yeah, and how excited

(09:55):
we are about all the pillows? I mean, okay, truly,
I am excited though, because we do have a lack
of pillows in certain other rooms. Many couples disagree when
it comes to mattress, behind which they seems like a
small thing, but because of Sleep Number, Janna and I
don't have to argue or have long discussions about this
because she gets her firmer side, which she loves, and
I love soft, cushy side of the mattress. So because

(10:17):
of our sleep number, we're able to adjust it to
our liking. Um. Yes, and if you come in during
the January savings event and you can save up to
five dollars on select Sleep Number three sixty smart bets,
I like that because that's what we have. Do you know?
The news Sleep Number also too. It helps everyone from
pro athletes improve their daily performance through proven quality sleep. Again,

(10:39):
as a parent, I love it because a good night's
sleep is everything. So and I always say that you
spend half your life in bed, so you need to
have an amazing mattress. Sleep Number is the official sleep
and wellness partner of the NFL. You only find Sleep
Number at one of their five seventy five Sleep Number
stores nationwide, so visit sleep number dot com slash Janna
to find the one nearest you, Zola. It's something really

(11:01):
cool too that I want to talk to you guys
about because so my best friend Amy is getting married
in Scotland and she's actually using Zola. So there's over
five hundred thousand couples that have used Zola. It basically
takes the stress out of planning because you know she's
you know she's she's new to all this wedding planning stuff.
Obviously it's her it's her first marriage and hopefully her

(11:21):
last marriage. But so this site is really great that
it's been helping her and many others. Obviously five hundred
thousand others plan their registry, dates, invitation planning tools. Again,
it's just a very convenient place to do all things
online in one website. So you can start with the

(11:43):
free wedding website. It's so easy and just takes minutes
to set up. You can add stories about photos, accommodations,
where the guest day. It really truly is great. UM
there's over five hundred top brands and UM again to
set up your registry, which would be awesome. So to
start your free wedding website and also get fifty dollars
off your registry and Zola, go to Zola dot com
slash Janna that Zola z o l a dot com

(12:05):
slash Janna for fifty dollars off your registry Zola dot
com slash Jana Um. We have a beautiful woman that
just walked into the studio. Hey girl, y'all welcome Patty Stanger.
Hi guys, Hey Patty Crystal in the middle of the room. Crystal,
what is that? I think it's a crystal right that's

(12:27):
supposed to wipe all the activity away. It's a light crystal.
So Michael and I have we don't really we had.
We've had some Crystal people on people. Crystal. You gotta
have Jenna Dolana. She's obsessed with them. I see I
heard the other night and she well she's she's got
a YouTube channel with all these amazing Crystal Are you Crystal? Yeah?

(12:49):
Oh see we are just like, don't know, I'm not
like my Glass friend is like obsessed. And I'm like,
if you're going to bad grade or you have a
bad problem with your wife or your relationship, you take
a piece of Celenia. You can get any crystal sto.
It looks just like it's like it's kind of like
a white um. I don't how to describe. It's like
they make sticks out of him and you wipe yourself

(13:10):
all over your aura and then you're good to go
and all the negativity goes away. I mean, in theory,
I think that sounds amazing, but I think, like you said,
it's mind over matter because we had this one. Anyways,
long story short is, you know, we're holding a crystal
in our hand, and if I was like he said,
if I was to hold a pen in my hand
and I did some deep breathing, I would be centered
and feel Yeah, but the crystals are alive. So the earth,

(13:38):
the trees and the grass and the strawberries you eat,
do they make you feel better? Okay, well, the crystals
are alive. Chocolate makes me feel a little better, more
better cut out? That comes from the earth. What about wine?
Wine comes from the earth. That's a great all right. Yeah,
so not only are you a crystal expert, you're also
a millionaire a matchmaker. Uh so we have a bunch

(14:01):
of questions, alright, hit me hard land. So it's like,
I see Ryan like was the first person to like
every month that you spent me on the radio. And
he's like, come mon, Patty, got questions like a question,
So like literally it's time for you to ask me anything. Okay.
I love it very podcast about relationships. Mostly I can

(14:21):
see that. So who's single in the room. The hot
girl that just brought me into the Dories story is
hot Tories. She wore the most she could be, Dory.
Do you want to be on? I thought? Sorry, sorry,
Tori wore these amazing genes with like a really cool story,
your dress good, you know, to get out tonight. You
know what the problem with Tori is? Tori? Can you
get on? I'm not saying the problem. The only problem

(14:44):
that I have because we were trying to pimper out
when we're in Vegas. She doesn't know how to flirt.
I know, I know how that. Guys, you expect the
men to come to you, to initiate the flirt, to
initiate the fir because what it is. And we live
in bumble country now where men are like, oh my god,
you asked me, you buy the lunch, you you know what,

(15:09):
you call me, You chase and text me, and it's like,
are you kidding me? We have to work twice as
hard er now. I do have a question, though I'm
somebody like I don't really have a problem because I'm
I'm an extrovert to like the Max, so I love
to engage in conversation with girls. No, I'm a guy's girl.
But the exactly because you're buddy, you're gonna you're gonna

(15:31):
hit him on the show and go you'll do let's
go watch the game. No, he wants sexy mix, which
is why I said she has a problem with learning.
You don't have to go You don't have to go Kardashian.
You just need to side entail. You need to you
don't have to put out the low plunge to get
the man. Like if you looked at the Golden Globes,
how many lope I mean? And it's always the girls

(15:52):
who don't have breasts that's my favorite part, you know.
Or then it's the girl who has too big a
breast and she just bought the new implants for the
golden gloves. So you don't have to go crazy music
because less is more, But you gotta get in the
middle lanes a little bit of guy, you know, a
little bit of flirt and a little bit of sex appeal. Michael,
do you agree? I agree with breaking my to drink
maximum with you? How's that you like that? To drink

(16:12):
maximum tequila goes a long way? Oh? I hate tequila.
You don't want to be a drunk though, No, no, no, no,
you just want to get into it. When she hit
the flirty zone of the drink, you stop and you
pour a glass. Jenny McCarthy taught me this. Okay, she
takes she she took me out once to sew how slashed.
You know. She's like, how do you drink like this?
And I'm not a big drinker. And she drank emergency

(16:34):
in between every glass of alcohol, and and her skin
glowed and she got flirt. I mean, nobody knows how
to flirt like Jenny. Okay, take a page from McCarthy.
I got it. Okay, she the best flirter in the
sun my my pre married life. I was a pretty
darn good flirter. You still look like you're a good flirter.

(16:57):
She was, But you're But she's like, we're trying to
pimp out Tory. At Vegas. It was like there was
nobody to pimp out because somebody was like, Janna, can
I get you anything? She's got this big, big I know,
but still it's an attraction thing. Albody was like, who
is this chick? Okay, but here's the little She's perky,

(17:19):
you can put her in her pocket. You're tall like me,
you like to wear heels, you're you're like me. So
it's like we don't fit into munchkin land you so
we have to do a little bit of like, you know,
we gotta get real soft and take her down. So
we have to go. We have to go, like, um,
thank you so much for that drink. That was not

(17:40):
a secting lessons from data. Do it? You gotta do it,
you gotta go. That's the guy. Oh that I don't
like that. It's not stupid, like you're stupid. It's like
you're subtle and you're like cascance and you're vulnerable. You're
what what about raising strong? You know, I want my daughter,
she's going to probably be an Amazon and tall because

(18:01):
my husband is super tall. I don't want her to,
you know, to do that because I want her to
be confident who she is. Okay, And that's what I
do love about you. You're confident in who you are
and I don't want to see Tori like playing with no. Listen,
this is biology because once you get them to the
gate and they like you, then you go back to
your real stuff. And now you got them. But then
that's that's how ever, doesn't it doesn't matter. They're in

(18:23):
love by then you've had sex, all things are good.
He's like, oh my god, I got the soft girl
and I got the hard out. And then they'll say
to you like today I need soft girl. Please don't
bring your heart out, like, don't be who you are.
Then No, I'm saying, be a mystery, as my mother
would say, like nobody else I will. What I will
say from a guy's perspective is what I'm best secting

(18:43):
from what Patty's saying is it's kind of like playing
the game right. So as a man naturally a taller
woman and stuff like that, it's a little bit more intimidating.
I mean, I'm bigger than most, so not for me,
but maybe there's five ft ten guys out there have
a harder time so to feel like they are still
the man. It's actually at the beginning of the relationship
to know that they are taking care of them, to

(19:03):
know that you don't have this amazing strong female right
off the bath. It's like me and I have nothing
off for them, Like they just take care of themselves.
I don't want to feel like I can't. No, it's
not it's not that. It's that we live in an
Instagram social media. We're married to our phones were not
engaging anymore, and we live in this society right now

(19:25):
where it's all about you know you, we forgot to connect.
So in order to connect, we've got to, like, you know,
kind of shed all this crap. And that's how you
get soft. Once she gets solidly, once she gets soft,
they love you the flirt. I've seen tall girls that
are lanky, tall girls like six footers from supermodels, and
they'll put the little flirty murdy on and I just

(19:46):
sit there and I go, oh my god, look at
the look at the water boy over there like dumping it.
And it's because she's like, thank you, and oh my god,
that was so sweet of you, and oh my god,
you got tuna on my salad and without me asking,
like you know, I watched this all day long. I
will slap my child if she does that. I want
her to be confident. I want her to be you know,

(20:06):
I'm not saying she has to be a B, A T. C.
H or whatever. I just want her to be. I
want her to be a nast, right, that's I mean
a million of matchwaker. I curse like a sailor. Okay,
I mean, like that's why you watch the show, right,
But but if you don't understand, it's not not being strong. Look,
I'm outfit work and I'm beta at home. And that
is why that's the way I like it, because I

(20:27):
could not be outfit at home. I'd be exhausted. So
it's hard for the man to see the beta. When
you're at here. You can't see the beata you're calling
the shot to, like Patty, come in here. You wanted
to let what we got you on tennis? Like you're
moving and shaken and you're hustling. Okay, And unless that
guy at works sees you. One of these dudes here,

(20:49):
if they're single and they're looking at you like, oh,
I really love a hustle girl, they have to have
a hustler mother to love that. Funny, that's the that's
the dynamic. My mom was a hustler. I want a
strong woman. My mom was really beta to my father's alpha.
I want to beta. So wherever they come from, that's
usually the DNA of what they choose. So and now
I need them to bring their moms on our first dates. No, no,

(21:11):
you need to ask them about your mom. Do you
you know you'd say, oh, you're close to your family,
open into questions. They go, I freaking hate my mother
and I we haven't seen my mother in twenty years.
But run, run run. You can never fill that void.
What do you think about cheaters? Oh, well, my mom so,
my mom was Mrs Mazel. You everybody watching the Marvel's
Life and Mrs Masiel so in X three, my mother's

(21:33):
first husband, who was my first father, I'm adopted, cheated
on my mother and she was Mrs Mazel. She didn't
cry in her soup, she didn't freaked f out. She
picked up me up, put me into my grandparents house,
said he cheated. I'm getting a divorce and my grandmother's
talking her out of getting What will you do? You
have no skills even though she went to college, and

(21:55):
she's like, I'm not going to put up with this.
And she tells him she wants a divorce. Now he's like, no,
little bezos action there, he f y I she wants.
He wants to keep his cake and eat it too.
And you go every Wednesday night to this famous restaurant
which is still their palace cabin in New Jersey, and
he would cheat. She's like, I want a divorce. My

(22:15):
mother's crafty, you know, She's thinking, how am I going
to get out of this? I want a doorse those
days you could fly to Puerto Rico and get a divorce,
and he would He said, no, I want my cake
and eating too. So she knew his best friend was
a total freaking nerd. She sits down next to the
best friend at the bar at seven o'clock when she
knows her her husband's coming in. My father and she

(22:36):
kisses him on the lips. The nerd, that was the threshold.
You cheated on me, he thinks in his mind, little
on that he cheated on her. Fludi putter Rica the
next day, get divorce once a cheater. If they're cheated once,
they may not cheat again. But if the history says
that they've cheated, I like to call them jumpers. They're
not really cheaters. They're jumpers. They go from relationship to

(22:59):
relationship and trade up. They trade up, they trade up
the trade and that's kind of like their mma. Oh
you didn't you didn't make me feel good today, you
didn't give me attention. I'm just gonna go find somebody
who else does and there in mind, they don't think
it's cheating, you know what I mean? Like, like we're
finding out about Bezos today with the texts and Lauren
and all this, I'm like, why did you want to
file divorcee? Why did you wear a ring at the

(23:19):
Golden Globes? Like? What really is going on behind the
scenes here? Now? We don't know that because we don't
know if this was an arrangement. But when you're blind
side of talking about I have two kids and I'm
teasing you and okay, haven't looked at the news this morning.

(23:41):
But when I'm saying is no, two people are like,
it's not snowflake city. Okay, I mean it's snowflake City. No.
Two people are like you. You can't say, all man cheat,
If you cheated once, she'll cheat again, because that's not true.
There's a why, there's a reason. Is this a natural inclination?
Did his other cheat? Did his mother cheat? Is this

(24:02):
who he is? Is he's so excited about grabbing that
brassy new ring that he doesn't care about his family,
then he's not really a family man. And we've all
been duped. We've we've all been where you've been. We've
I've been cheated on. I'm cheated on by a firefighter,
told never to date, a firefighter said, oh, he would
never do that to me. Cheated on me. Nine eleven firefighters. Okay,
on the cover of the of the you know the calendar. Okay, Steve,

(24:26):
you know who you are anyway? Um in New York, Okay,
cold Spring anyway. So the point I'm making is that
no two people are alike because my father, my mother's
second husband, never cheated on her and loved her to
other day that he died. And so it depends on
the situation. I hate saying absolute. I'm not an absolute.
I just I'm always curious about, you know, because you're

(24:47):
a matchmaker, and if you saw someone that did cheat
on someone, you know, are you hesitant to then match
the person with someone because they have had that pass.
Usually council both sides, and if it's I'm not getting sacks,
I'm not getting at tend shin Um. We've gone to counseling,
we try to work it out. They're not giving me anything.
It's time to leave, But I don't agree in cheating.

(25:07):
I agreed you leave, Then you have another relationship, like
you declare we're separated, you gotta move. I won't fix
anyone unless they've moved out of the house. I have
to move it up. They don't have to legal separation,
but they have to move out of that house. Okay.
And the other thing is you know, like, did you
know that he was going to cheat my husband? Yeah?
Did I know he was going to cheat? Did you

(25:28):
have any clinations along the way. He's looked at girls
at parties, he was flirty with a lot of women.
He had cheated when we were dating before we got married.
So I mean I maybe thought he might back of
the head. Okay, but you thought, maybe, you know, maybe
he got it was a one time thing. Okay. Well
that's what most people think. Um. But generally speaking, UM,
a man cheats for a reason. Now there's a ego.

(25:51):
You know, I'm getting a piece of you know what
that I couldn't get before. I didn't get the cheerier
in high school, So therefore I'm going to go for it.
But he got. Now I'm talking about like, I'm not
talking about him. I'm talking about nerds that go off
like they make a lot of money. The millionaires, that
are nerds in high school and then they make a
lot of money and then they cheat on their average
annie wives because they couldn't get the movie star. So

(26:11):
now they're now they're in the game. My best friend
had an experience like that, and he said, I could
never get those hot girls. And then you know, I
got to the I got to the game, I got
to the to the party and there it was and
it was like, I was like, well why, And he's like,
because I always wanted that. You have to find out
why anything. I mean, I get that, I get that mindset,

(26:32):
but I mean like she's like, she's saying that the reason.
If you find out the reason, then I think you
can kind of cancer the disclaimer. Does it make it right? Right?
Right here? Nothing is right? Yeah, But if you're able
to deep down, through therapy or whatever resource, find out
the reason behind whoever whichever party is cheating and address that,

(26:53):
then you can, I think you can kill the stereotype
of once you always achieve ours. It's it's the why
is the healing because then you go, I don't want
you anyway because that's what you did it. But I'm
gonna tell you something. You're gonna be blown away. Women
cheat more than men. They just don't get okay, well
they don't get out with this one. Well, they don't

(27:13):
get caught because I don't get caught. And the truth
of the matter is, if you've cheated, karma, it's like
it comes around, cloes around. Well, that's why I forgave
him in the beginning, was because I because I had
that guilt that I did that in relationship, so I
wanted to forgive him. You were the cheater, okay, And
when you first I said, I didn't know you guys
are together. Nobody gave me in front. This is my husband. Okay,
thank you to my publistness, which I didn't know that. Okay,

(27:36):
now I'm finding my I'm like, okay, okay, so you
so you went out, we went out. He cheated, and
then I took him back because I have not I'm sorry,
it's not a relationship. I've cheated in the majority of
my relationships. Because again it was the why did you cheat?
Because the next new shiny thing, I wasn't getting the validation.

(27:59):
I wasn't getting what the father issues that I didn't
work through. Um, it's a long story. Give me one
sentence reader, should I just what is it? Uh? Never
felt like I was enough in my life. That's that's
the self esteem essentially. So then I took him back

(28:21):
because I kind of never got that. I wanted to
be able to say I forgive, and he was like,
you know, I'll never do it again because because in
this relationship, I said, you know, I told myself and
I've done so much work that I that's not that's
not going to happen in this relationship. And so but
then he, you know, obviously happened again. And you know,
we've discovered more stuff. But I still believe that if

(28:42):
you work on things, cheater is not you know, I
pray to God it doesn't happen again. But you know,
because we have the resources and you've worked on things,
we do have two We have a six week old
and you have a six week old and a three
year Okay, so so you you know that she's cheating
before you, and you cheated on her, which keeps the

(29:05):
game exciting? Yes it does, Yes, it does. Subconsciously, it does.
It's a subconscious thing. It's not unconscious. See, I've never
cheated on him, and that's the problem that bothers me. Well,
that's why that's subconscious. What do you mean the gate
is open? So the thing is you both know neither
one of you are clean, and now I'm clean in

(29:25):
this relationship, not talking about It's not a relationship to
relationship thing. It's a total of your complete, you know,
history of relationship. It goes back to subconsciousness. So sub
consciousness keeps it, keeps it alive, it keeps it exciting. Yeah,
because me excited you, but you took him back. You
didn't write because I love him and he's such an ass.

(29:45):
I love him and he's such an ass. That's why
I took him back. So you're going on tour right now?
There's three cities I see, well, okay, damn it, Tory,
I see three on here before. Actually I'm going to Richeville, Connecticut, Morristown,
New Jersey, which I'm from Jersey, Pennsylvania, which is going
to be filling in Pittsburgh. Where can our listeners see

(30:07):
like the dates? If you go to Patty Knows with
an I patty knows dot com, you can actually buy
the tickets. There's v I p ones as well as
regular tickets. Will be doing champagne. I'll be asking all
your questions asked. So people do they raise their hand?
Do they have to buy a specific ticket to get um? No? Actually,

(30:28):
the show starts out at the interactive dating relationship show.
I comme at kind of like stand up style. Then
I bring people up on stage to fix, to fix
each other up, picking each other up. I do this
whole thing as well as relationship couples like you, somebody's cheated,
do I fix that? Somebody proposed once when I did
a live tour, and um, it's really interesting. I gave
him somebody throughout their engagement ring because they're getting divorced

(30:51):
and they propose. I said, I couldn't afford to ring.
That's why I couldn't propose, and blah blah blah. He does.
And then at the end of the show, anyone can
line up around the corner ask me anything. Nothing is
off top business love. But I'm psychic, so I people's
energy is the biggest skeptic and psychics, so I read
people's energy. I'm an astrologer and I can see things

(31:14):
that nobody sees, so I can help you withever whatever
endeavor you're working on. So did it just come to one?
I'm claire audience. I I hear I know, I hear
a voice. So I was gonna ask, what's the difference
between clear audience and clare voidance. Claire voyant usually senses
their audience. Here's I hear of? So you hear dead people? No,
I don't see dead people. I see guides and angels.

(31:35):
I actually talked to the guide or the angel, or
my guide or angel. Sometimes I'll be mine something there's
it's not about who is talking to me, it's upstairs information.
How did you notice that you had that? Well, I
was adopted as a kid, and my family was not
into any of this, and they would shove it under
the rug. And I would know who's getting a divorced,
I would know who's getting pregnant. I would know who's done.
I mean, my grandmother was going to die on a

(31:56):
very minor surgery, and I begged my mother not to
send her to the hospital for hip replacement. She died
two weeks two weeks later from anesthesia. So it's like
there are little things I saw then. I was always
interested in the occult, so I studied with a lot
of very famous psychics. I ran the Kenny Kingston Psychic
network for four years. I was a practicing psyche in
Florida for ten years and I just studied benephysics and

(32:18):
then with meditation, I do transliental meditation. It hones my craft.
So when you see me on Millionaire Matchmaker and someone's
in the hot scene and I'm reading them and I'm
breaking them and they're crying and they're freaking at and
like Claudia Jordan's said, I saw I put her in
the hot scene. She was a friend of mine and
I didn't know this. And I said, they're telling me
something happened to you at eighteen. You didn't You didn't

(32:38):
tell your father. It caused a rift in your relationship.
What happened? And she goes, how the hell did you
know that? She starts crying, I was raped, Oh gosh,
and my father wouldn't believe me. It's like and then
we got on the phone and called the father and
we healed the situation. So there's good and there's bad
stuff that I see UM a lot of times, I
know stuff's gonna happen with celebrities and things are going
to happen, and you know things like that, How did

(33:00):
you turn that into doing like millionaire matchmaker coming from
this kind of background. My mom was a matchmaker and
so was my grandmother, and so I ran great expectations
for like eight years and the oldest dating service, the
original match dot com, and um, I really didn't want
to do it. I really was just doing it for
the cash at the time, and it turned into something

(33:21):
I was getting at a credit card dead. I was
going to be a screenwriter. I was going to be
in the I went to film school. I was like,
this is just a side gig. I never thought this
would be my main gig. Right, do you do you
hear any? Hear anything? Ron Michael birthday? Give me your
birthday February Pisces. And when's your birthday? I'm December two.
I'm gonna sit you're you're coming up in a really

(33:42):
good year. So you've had a terrible three years with Saturn,
which was really awful to you. Um, but see, let's see,
let's see nine, ten, eleven. Okay, so we're just about
to get into Jupiter and your son. You could meet
another man, but I'm not going to tell you that

(34:03):
on your son. Okay, you could also be tempted. Okay,
money is going to be really good for you and
I and you and I do see are you getting
into something to do with film? Yeah, you're doing something
film related and that's going to be really big stepping
stone for you. You're gonna Are you buying a new
house we're building? Okay, there you go. Okay, Um, third

(34:25):
child is possibility at the end of next year, so
be careful if you don't want it. I do see pregnancy,
as we just said yesterday, right, we think we're two
kid family. But I do see you might want to
get fixed. You have very sharp sperm. Yes, I do.
That's okay. Did you are Do you doing something sports
related to Okay, because it's what are we? What do

(34:48):
you do now? Yeah? What I play in the NFL?
But is there something like a sports product to drink
a gadget give makes somebody gave to you and wants
to promote it. I see you having some sport it's
related product like an informercial thing that's happening in the
end of next year. But I would be loved if
you have any he said. This is coming from a buddy.

(35:10):
A buddy made an invention. That's what they're telling me. Interesting.
So keep your buddies, ask your buddies, is anybody your
buddies close? But the film thing, it's going to break you.
It's going to open your gates because you've been like
stagnant and you're like, Okay, I need more, I need more. Um,
where are you living right now? Here? Well? What part
a city? I see you? Like? Where do you go

(35:32):
to the beach? M who has a beach house? No? One,
we know again if anyone has a beach house, they'd
like to become friends with them. No, there's something like
this summer you're going two weeks to a beach house.
Because I see a beach house. But it's not like
l A. It's it's like a quiet little town. Oh, Michigan.
There that's a lake though, that's the same thing. Okay, water.

(35:55):
I see you going away and really having a wonderful
like the best time you've ever had in your life.
And it's peace because you say, like here you in
your in your head, you don't have enough peace pieces
really important to you, zero piece because you feel very
you feel like the organizer of everything. Ye. Yeah, so

(36:15):
I feel like that's what happened. But I also feel like, um,
you might also get a jewelry offer. You're getting endorsements.
You're getting endorsements, and you're going to do some kind
of I don't know if it's I can't say it's
because I feel like it's supplements or what about girls?
For him? Are we good? Is he good? Are we good?
This year? Only females in my life are you? And
Jolly Baby feel because because she told me I might

(36:38):
be tempted, You're gonna be tempted. You're going to meet someone,
but you you will realize the temptation. You're not. You're
not stupid. You're not stupid. Let's just put it this way.
You're not you don't have stupidity in you. Um. He's
very sensitive and he's incredibly if you talk to him
the wrong way, if you mentioned the wrong thing, that like,

(36:58):
if you bring up when you fight. You can never
bring up the past to him. Oh my god, you're
gonna have to learn to lit it vault it because
he's really trying right now, and he knows he's trying.
You could pull a little more romance out for her.
She's a little bit more romance. She likes date espectually,
I'm going to be tempted, and she likes date night.

(37:20):
She likes to dress up. You need more dressing up
occasions that theater tickets, concert tickets, Kelly Clarkson's coming in
January like concert ever? Okay, you want she wants to
dress up? Is what I see. She looks at her
closet and goes like she wants to buy a nice dress.
Is what I'm picking. But else, let me ask if
there's anything else that I missed. Okay, hold on one second,

(37:41):
you gotta give me a suck. Is he gonna be
good to me? He is in work mode. He's in
money mode. He's not in He's not in mode. Can
I say that on the he's in, he's in, He's
in money mode. He wants nice things. He wants a
new car. Okay, he doesn't want to drive like an
SUV for the rest of his love. I like I
see him wanting nice things, like he's looking in catalogs online,

(38:04):
like he has this little little wish list. Yes he does.
Can I can read? Now? Can I can read? I
don't even know that. I don't know you mar a believer.
I believe her. I'm not gonna saying I believe every
Joe Schmo out there I'm picky bad believe that. Do
you see it happily ever after for these two? Well,
you can never do that. You only read five years

(38:28):
out because things can change. I feel five years together,
I feel I just keep seeing that third child. It's
a boy too. I don't know why I see a
boy another boy? Yeah, like, do you have two girls?
What do you have? You have a boy and a girl. Okay,
if I see another boy, this boy special. If you
get the next one, I'm telling you, he's going to
be very artistic, like incredibly like theater, movies, painting, drawing, like,

(38:52):
he's super artistic. He's not an athlete. This one will
want to make him an athlete. He's not an athlete,
and you will love that he's artistic. It's not. He's
just I don't start to say no, he's just artistic.
I just see an artistic child, like painting and doing
like creative stuff with you. You you like to decorate also,
I do like to decorate. Yeah, that's your that's your

(39:14):
little jam it's peace. Yeah, I do like it. Who's
who's the cooker in the family? Okay, alright, you just
you just hopped on that so fast? Okay, is this.
Are you making a major kitchen, a stellar kitchen we
are making beautiful and are you making an outdoor grill patio? Okay,
because I see really big parties of you guys having
with your friends and cooking. Because I see there's someone's

(39:35):
a cooker. They said, do you see a game room
with a poker table, because I'm trying to nix that
right now. So if you don't see it, then maybe
we can nix it out of them. I see you
know what I see. I see a foldable poker table
where he can take it out and put it away. Yeah,
he's not getting his full poker. Now you're you're nixing it.
You're you're gonna already have it. I nixed the chairs

(39:58):
and what with the interior ladies. All I'm telling me
was right now, it's like it's like it's like a
game room kind of thing. I say, But it's not
going to be what he thinks it is. Let's just
put it there. No, I already found that out. It's
not going to be let in other words, you're gonna
make it cool. He doesn't have cool style. Sorry, you,
I'm just telling it like I see it, Patty, where

(40:18):
can our listeners find you because you are awesome and
I want to I want to know more about we.
Just follow me on Instagram at Patti Stangard dot com,
Patti stang around Instagram, or with an ie, or go
to Patty Knows. Patty Knows. We're doing webinars, We're going
on tour. We're here to heal you. So register, get
in there and buy the ticket to tell your friends
and family. I don't care if you bring your grandmother.
I got something for her. I'm amazing you guys. Patty,

(40:40):
give it up, thank you, thank you. Uh So. Mark
just asked when we were saying by to her, if
I was getting annoyed with her? Did you sense my
annoyance with her? I think the whole office building sensed
your annoyance with her. No, I just want to say
I love her. I think she's so sweep in the
very beginning. I don't know what it is. I just
don't like it when females. I don't like it when

(41:01):
you do the high and hold the hair. It's just
that's not how I want Jolia to be in front
of someone. I wanted to be confident. I want her
to stand tall and Tori yes, you're tall, but don't
turn into it one of those. So if you don't
like me, get out, you know, I mean, you know,
I don't know, just be you be confident. I don't don't. Yeah, no,
I I definitely took with a grain of salt, being like,

(41:23):
if I'm lugging luggage around, sure i can have the
guy next to me carry my luggage. Hey, I'm helping
her out, but I'm not going to be like And honestly,
the to drink maximum made me laugh too, because I
was like, I'm like, this is Yeah, you don't like it.
I don't believe that. I don't really need alcohol to
make me feel comfortable, Like, yeah, pretty pretty comfortable. Who
I am? I know, I think, I mean, I understand,

(41:47):
you know. Some of it is hard to take not
literally because some of the thinks she's saying seemed very literal.
I don't think she was speaking in that sense. So
I defend that aspect because I think it is more
about just playing the game. But which I think the
game it's so has changed over the years because of
all the social media access to other people, because of
the bumbles, tenders and all that stuff. So the game
isn't the same. So I think she's still trying to

(42:09):
like teach that in a way, teach so you know
the girl isn't if she's alpha all day. You know,
say someone here, she's tory all day doing her thing,
handling business and kicking ass, and then they see her
out and she's the same exact way. What's wrong with that? No,
I'm saying, where like he doesn't feel like he can
do anything for her because it's wrong with that? Why

(42:30):
can't Why can't you just love her and love her
for who she is? And why do you have to
do something you don't? What do you? What do you
do for me? You support me? You're my partner? What
do you What do you do if you had to
do everything? If I didn't make you feel I do
do everything? He led yourself into that poot. That was
a complete soft talk. But what by me being softer?

(42:54):
That doesn't well, I don't understand that. What what would
do if I'm if I'm softer? All I'm saying is
you still need to allow your man to feel like
a man sometimes to be taken care of. Like if
you didn't, if you didn't feel anything like that, you
opened my door. I'm not just talking about opening door.
I'm talking about making you feel secure, making me feel

(43:15):
taken care of. Well, that's sure, but I can still
be a strong woman, that's it for sure. But I'm
saying some of those mentalities out there, there are women
that that don't ask her, that don't want that and
don't show that they need to be taken care of. Well,
if you're just saying I don't want you to do this,
and then of course, and yeah, you're being a little hard,
soften up a little. But right, that's the whole thing.
She went to the extreme. But I think that's the
kind of mindset that she's talking about, not to her extent,

(43:38):
but well, I ended up liking her. I ended up
liking her. So for those of you who are new
to the investing world, um, you know, that's one thing
I always wanted to get into investing. And I would
be around friends and stuff that would always talk about
their portfolios and show each other their stock options and
what they're looking at on their phone. Yeah, I'm like,

(43:59):
what the hell y'all looking at? And from someone like
me who wasn't educating that world, robin Hood was a
great start just remind her. It's an investing app that
lets you buy and sell stocks, ets, options, and cryptos,
all commissioned free. They strive to make financial services work
for everyone, not just the wealthy, and it's a very
non intimidate way for stock market newcomers like myself to
invest for the first time with true confidence and just

(44:20):
reminder as well. Most brokerages charge you up to ten
dollars every trade, but the amazing value of robin Hood,
of the robin Hood app is that there's no cost
or commission fees. Robin is giving listeners a free stock
like Apple, Ford or Sprint to help build your portfolio.
So sign up at wind down dot robin hood dot com.
That's wind down dot robin hood dot com. So something
we've been using with Jolie because she's honestly, she's been

(44:43):
difficult to put down lately. She doesn't want to go
to bed, she doesn't want a napp. She for the
first time, she just realized that she can get out
of bed and open the door and out of her
room by herself. So it's happened for the last day
and a half. Every time she's gone down for bed,
she gets out of her room and you think, like
because we're not used to it. So it's like last night,

(45:03):
I was like watching TV and I just heard like
her door open and her sound machine and her mossy stuff.
Uh sound louder nice to try to plug and uh
and I heard it and I was like, what the
world is that? Then I heard the door close. I
look back in the hallway and altsee is just the
top from her nose up to her forehead peeking out,
laying on the floor trying to watch the TV. So

(45:24):
that's why I am and Michael we're excited about the
Mashi Twilight because it's been helping the bedtime routine. So
basically it's there's stories. They're completely original audio only sleep stories,
so they're not designed to replace traditional bedtime story books.
Um Mashi Twilt is designed to be used after the
parents have read a book and then turned off the lights,

(45:45):
so this is usually the time when parents struggles to
leave the bedroom with children craving attention again, which is
what Joey has been doing. Uh So the best part
of all is that it's usually thirty nine, but my
my listeners get to try it for free tonight, so
you can access over twenty hours of general sleepy content
things that include guided relaxations, dreamy music tracks, soothing soundscapes. Um,

(46:07):
there's sixty magical sleep stories. It's super great and you
can share it across up to three devices, so if
you have multiple kids you don't have to worry about that.
No fights, but basically check out the reviews because it
really truly does work for us, and try it free tonight.
So if that sounds good to you, you can redeem
your exclusive code. Download the Mashi Twilight app. Go to settings,

(46:28):
register your account and redeem your code. Janna Sleep, j
A n A Sleep hurry because this code expires April one.
I do have to bring up something because no, no,
because I want to talk about it in future podcast episodes.
But remember when we had our party at the Pier
and the US Weekly girl kind of said, well, she

(46:51):
basically brought up, oh, you're not breastfeeding with Jason. I
kind of startled and said, I didn't. I didn't say that, remember,
And she's like, oh, I thought you said that, you
said you want breastfeeding, and you're like, I don't remember
not saying that. Yeah, I don't. I don't remember saying
anything about it, and finally I said, you know what, fine,

(47:12):
I'm gonna go out there and say that I'm not breastfeeding.
And so the article was out on US Weekly UM
last week and online, and I've had so many people
reach out to me on d m S and it's
just been really it's been really great. But also again
I don't know what it is, and I think it
seems to be a bigger conversation on another episode, but

(47:35):
it's just really frustrating that I felt, especially moms, have
all this pressure to to do it well, all the
moms shaming to which is why you know, I want
to bring on other women that have been mom shamed
to talk about it, because it's just really frustrating. Whether
it didn't work for me or doesn't work for other people,
or maybe just in general, we didn't want to, but
I feel it's almost like we feel like we have
to explain ourselves because we're not doing how what we're

(47:58):
told we're supposed to do. Yeah, I mean, it's I
can't imagine like how that feels. I mean, I think
I even from the dad's side of the husband's side
is obviously we don't feel it nearly as much as
y'all do, but I can. I can still sense that

(48:19):
tension a little bit um when pete when it's asked
and feeding. No, not not not when it's asked directly
to me, but when it's asked to you and I'm
there with you, So I can like kind of sense that.
And but I also I get like people's not not

(48:44):
their reservation around it, but I get why because that's
the way humans have done it for so long. So
anything other than the way you're biologically created to feed
your child, I can see why. It's still a lasting Yeah, um,
you know, a lasting thing, lasting stigma. It's just I

(49:06):
totally get that. It's just frustrating when women are well.
Breast milk is the breast milk is the best and
and all the nutrients. I understand that you don't need
to tell me something that I don't know, but I
also need to explain to you why it's either not
working or we're not doing it or we chose not to.
So I don't know why we have to feel like
we have to explained, just like we can't feel like
we can say what we want to say exactly. Ties

(49:28):
into the beginning of the episode, No, I was going
to say the exact same thing. It's it's true, like
why I feel like I have to hide the bottle
when I'm in public because people are judging me. I
feel judged. But again, this is worrying about. That's why
I'm circling back to the top because it's like, it's
so frustrating, but we get shamed so many people, so

(49:49):
many people about the breast milk. It's like, I get it, Okay,
I understand that, and there's a lot of women that
physically can't maybe I physically can't do I have to
explain to us, to everyone why we're not breastfeeding, but
I feel like I have to, and really, you don't
want to talk about it here the y. I mean,
I have no problem talking about it, but I feel
but it also it almost defeats the purpose of why

(50:09):
can't it just be okay that we're not Why do
we have to always explain our decisions? I agree with you, Yeah,
I actually don't even think we should or need to,
because then it's like you feel like you have to
defend why we're not, and that's the whole that defeats
the whole purpose. But I feel like I have to
because I feel like I'm getting judged right, but we shouldn't.
We we don't. We don't have to do anything. That's

(50:29):
the thing. We we have discussed this. You and I
are in the same page. We're the only two people
that matter and this entire But then someone can say, well,
actually the child matters because you're not giving them the
proper I get that, And guess what. That's why I say,
what's best for you is best for the child. And
do you think that people are assuming the worst of
you because you're in Hollywood and you have a certain
amount of fame. Do you think there's an element there? Yeah,

(50:50):
the thing, Oh, she just wants to protect her body
or something like that. Which, by the way, if you breastfeed,
you lose more weight. So that's that's the argument there.
It's it's not about that at all. And you know,
I don't know. I just we gotta figure that out.
I got to talk to someone about that, you know,
acording to Patty, we're going to have like a third child.
So if you were dry in next time, were you breastfed?

(51:13):
Excuse me, I was not breastfed. I was so was
not breast fed. While we turned out pretty great. What
I was just going to say, is it clearly it's
not the only way to raise a child. Yeah. So
I guess I'm saying this to also the moms out
there that feel this way too. Let's just not feel
like we have to defend our decision. Let's just be
the best moms that we are and just be able

(51:35):
to say a one word answer response is are you breasting? Nope,
but I can't. I'm always well because of this happened,
I know. And it's fun because I get the guilt
my own mother about it. Really, Yeah, you know I
can't have dairy, I think because I wasn't breastfed mom. Honestly,
that's fantastic. That is fantastic. Oh. We have some emails

(51:57):
and this was the first one. We are like Sarah
and Ty don't even know if I want to read it.
This is from Megan. No have Margarita, here's your voice plenty.
I'm over your boy, Megan says. My husband James and
I did it for fifteen years before I got married. Yes,
fifteen years, so I know exactly how Sarah feels. I

(52:19):
went through all of college, all of grad school knowing
we would get married after graduating college. I expected him
to propose at every vacation, anniversary or major life event.
I was driving myself crazy. Finally, a year and a
half ago, while on our way to the beach, he proposed.
My advice to Sarah is to try to stop thinking
about it, because that's when it will come. It's outrageingly
hard to do, but try. But I recently learned my

(52:41):
husband would have done it sooner. But he felt a
lot of pressure to pick out the right ring. He
said he looked at rings for about nine months before
finally picking one. I'm not saying Tide doesn't need a
solid push in the right direction most men do, but
keep in mind as a serious life event for him
as well. Megan, kudos to you girl for fifteen years.
How do you hang in? I would? I mean you

(53:02):
must have been unless you're fifteen when you guys started dating.
That's the only exception through all of college, so maybe
they were seventy Kudos to her for the fifteen years,
not only for sticking out that long, but I make
up that her mindset was just, you know what, whether
I'm married or not, I'm with the person I wanted

(53:23):
to be with, and I'm just gonna live each day
like I'm gonna live in the present and just be
with him, and I know we're meant to be together
and it will happen. Granted that's a long time. Yeah,
it's way too long. But I don't know. Maybe I'm
not saying that Sarah hasn't, but he knows the like
he I hoped t I gets it now, like how

(53:44):
much we've talked about this and how much pressure is
on him that now at this point, just like you
know what, accept it for what it is, and if
you love them and you want to be with them,
then just keep going. Is there something to that where
you can just be like, you know what, I love
this person and we're just if end up Goldie Han
Kurt rustling it the rest of our lives. If you're okay,
If you're okay with it, that's fine. I just don't

(54:05):
think people like me and Sarah are okay with that.
It's rare that both people would be on the same
page for that. It's very rare. I think it's kind
of like you can, can you ever really believe if
the other person is because people will change their mind, right,
and so there'd be people that change their mind and
they tell the person, Hey, I want to get married,
I want to have kids. Now it's like, no, I
got into this because we had the same agreement with

(54:26):
the same point of view. So it's like, even if
you have that agreement at the beginning, is there leeway
to change? Also, how do you bring it up right
without putting the pressure on him because he wants it
to be a surprise. I was years is not pressure.
Six years is not pressure in my opinion, what you
mean it's not pressure? You that's expected? Fifteen years, six years,

(54:51):
five years? Four years? Been four years? Hey? Kind of
five years? I think is the window, like it's time
to get off the pot or produce, take a big dumper,
get out Janna's windows about three to six months. So
that is my window. But if you do bring it up,
I feel like it delays things. I feel like if
I was dating somebody and they said, hey, we should
get married, I feel like even if I was planning

(55:12):
and proposing, I can't do it now because it'll seem
like I'm just responding to her request. I got to
push it off a few months to get it out
of her mind. So then every time she brings it up.
It's gonna get pushed off farther because you want to
blow her mind. You want to surprise, or you want
her to cry. You don't want her to be totally
expecting it. It's not all about you, guys, it's about
us to thank you. Guys overthink as women, though. I
totally think you guys overthink it, because especially when the

(55:36):
girl is wanting it, she's gonna know, she's going to
read an email, she's gonna go through your phone. Did
you know? Maybe? Did you know? Maybe? Tell me now,
Janna Ray. Maybe I'm just saying, girls, you have you
been lying to me this whole? I'm just saying what
tor Yeah? I think everyone wants to know. I'm just

(55:58):
saying you did you know? I'm not maybe because maybe
it's my answer. Maybe it's not an answer, Sure it is.
It's my answer changeable. It's either yes or no. Did
you have an idea that I was proposing you? I
feel like we've had this conversation before. I said, and
I said yes or no, and you say I don't.
I don't remember. So that's my answer. I don't remember.
Where was it? Where did you propose? I proposed? In

(56:18):
our in our house, our first house in Nashville on
her birthday in front of like thirty people. Oh, it's
just a surprise birthday party turned engagement, so you knew
you had a feeling. I'm not answering these questions because
I don't have to. It's it's time, it's water. There

(56:39):
were two kids, we're about to have a third, according
to Patty, so like, what's going on? I don't remember. Sweet,
youre gonna take this to your grade. I am going
to take this one to my grade. Clearly it's a yes,
because if it wasn't no, you would just say no.
I had no idea. I was shocked. Maybe I don't know,
but don't remember. I'm saying girls, no, they have emails,
they have phones, They have certain things that they know,

(57:03):
and they when they when they're when they're wanting it,
they search. We don't care about being surprised. We want
the thing ring. We don't care you guys want us
to be surprised. We don't give up lying f about
being surprised. That's BS. I call BS because you guys
want to write Janna Kramer. I heart media dot com.
But it's important to have your hair done and your
nails done right when you get proposed to let me

(57:24):
just say you almost don't want to be surprised. Were
my nails done? Yeah? Because it was your birthday and
I sent you. And you can't say someone told you
because nobody knew. Okay, sweetheart, Well, I didn't tell any
of reference. Any portrayal was their email, was their web receipts.
She wouldn't have been able to see that stuff. Warmer.

(57:50):
She's just flustering me on purpose. Right now. You didn't
have any emails going back and forth with the jeweler
that I might have read everything? Why did you cry?
Did you play it up vague? Like here, I have
no idea what you guys are talking about. I might

(58:12):
be making that up. I don't know. She's she's an
actress totally. She's totally making up because we literally, no,
we're not knowing this. We literally we got in a fight,
a huge fight, not uh soon before that, because I
told her. I was like, look, she gave me the whole.
I don't want to play house with you like I
want to ring. I want to start a family x
Y and Z and I told her at the time

(58:33):
I started my house in Baltimore so I owned that house.
We just bought this house together fifty and I'm like,
I gotta wait for my Baltimore house to sell, like
I don't want to strap myself financially. And she didn't
really care about that. She's like, well, I want to ring,
but if it's done so for five years. Well, because
this guy thinks his house is going to sell tomorrow.

(58:56):
How like you have to be more realistic as he's like, well,
if it takes five years. So that's when we got
into the fight was because I said I don't want
to wait five years. Too bad, honey. Clearly I didn't
have to because we're not even five years. We haven't
even know each other for five years. Yes we have.
It won't be five years. It won't be five years

(59:16):
till this summer. Well, lucky me. Would you like to
know the truth? Yeah? Anyways, that I Heart Radio Podcast
Awards presented my Capital One or Just around the Corner
and Capital one wants to give you the chance to
get the coolest look at the nominees joined me on Thursday,
January seventeenth at the Capital One Cafe and Glendale for
an amazing lineup of podcast panelists, including myself, Holly Fry
of Stuff You Missed in History Class, and Jake Brennan

(59:38):
of Disgraceland. The panel be hosted by Tanya rad My
faiths to rs VP for your chance to attend, visit
I Heart radio dot com slash Capital one. Space is limited.
You do not want to miss at Capital one. Welcome
to banking reimagine. Vote for me, not for Janna. I
think you can do that. Find a where be creative bunny.

(01:00:01):
Did you know Oh my gosh, Michael, I didn't know
what day that. I don't believe that because your birthday.
We made this big thing out of your birthday and
you're like, oh, you didn't suspect it to be your
birthday with all the stuff. Okay, would you like to

(01:00:22):
know the truth? Are you going to be mad at me? Okay?
So I read your email, But the email that I've
read from the jeweler was that it was it was
stamp Why are you looking sad? Please? It was stamp
marked in November, okay. And the email that I read

(01:00:45):
was that you couldn't get the ring. So I did
not think I knew that you were working on it.
But then I stopped myself. I said okay, because you
said that you were going to do it by one
weekend and then the email and didn't happen. So I
knew that you were working on it, but that you
didn't have the ring. So that's that's what I knew.

(01:01:05):
But I didn't know when I had a suspicion it
was maybe on my birthday since we were we were
making it such a big thing. But then I also
didn't know because when I saw the surprise party, as like, God,
there's no way he's doing it here with the surprise party.
So I did not know the date, but I knew
you were working on it because I did look at
your email. So I was surprised, and I'm glad I

(01:01:27):
was surprised, and I am glad that I didn't go
back on your email to see if you purchased the
ring a month later. Fair. That's the honest to God, Ruth.
All right, thanks for running down everybody, big thank you
to sleep number of his sleep number dot com. Slash
Janna to find the one nearest Zola to start your
free wedding website and also get a fifty dollars off
your registery En Zola. Go to zola dot com slash

(01:01:47):
Janna robin Hood. Remember robin Hood is giving listeners a
free stock like Apple, Fort or Sprint to help build
your portfolio. Sign up at wind down dot robin hood
dot com Master Twilight, register your account and redeem your
code wind down Sleep, and make sure to email us
and share your thoughts with the wine down crew at
Janna Craneer. I heart media dot com. This is really
fun and now we're going to have a fight in

(01:02:07):
the car, So I can't wait to wind down next week.