December 23, 2025 • 14 mins
Jana shares the story of her trip to New York City during the holidays, but it didn’t end with any Big Apple magic. Kristen is also feeling some rage and they bond over how to handle those intense feelings of anger.
Plus, Jana opens up about how she communicates with Allan when she’s annoyed, and she gives us a raw and honest look at what needs improvement!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'mheart Radio Podcast. Okay,
so today's adult education. I got my girl KB in here,
Hi Kramer, and you know, we had a guest lined up,
but said guest is not here. Perhaps said guest is
delayed in surgery or an appointment of sorry, possibly because
(00:22):
she's a doctor. So that's okay, We're going to give
her some grace and you know what, the show must
go on and it always does. And so here we are.
I am. You know, we were going to talk to
a Harry menopause doc and all things experts and all
things yes expert. And it was one of those things
(00:43):
where I had when I was in New York. I
was having a conversation. We were kind of saying like
what you know me? I like to be like, what
are you leaving? What are you taking? The old Janna Cramer? Yeah,
And so I was telling the table that I was
going to be leaving some anger. Oh really set a
(01:05):
boatload there, friend. Yeah. And it's funny is that because
the girl back to me and she's like, how old
are you? And I said, you know, I want and
that's why I told my age. I just turned forty
two and she's like, She's like, you know, I started
to feel that when I was in perimenopause the rage. Yeah,
uh huh, I'd agree. I'm in it right now. I'm
(01:27):
in a very sneaky tender spot, a very tender forty
eight before. I think I'm getting ambushed by my period
if it decides to come on time, because I'm perimenopause
TVD and I can feel it's usually, and I hate
to say it, it's usually when I start to get
frustrated with the baby. That's when I know I'm like
straight out of patients. It's probably hormonal. Yeah, but it's
(01:50):
a really out of body experience. Yeah, and I don't
like it, uh huh. And it's interesting because I've chatted
with a couple of friends recently who said, you know,
I hope that y'all will talk about this and expand
more on it on Wine Down. And I feel like
we are mentioning a lot, but I don't know that
we're expanding because I think we're trying to be a
(02:10):
fit for most, like a fit for all right, we
have a lot of demographics that listen to this. I
feel like you're right, we haven't expanded on because we
haven't had everything's kind of been dancing around it. Like
one of our guests was just about the period or
you know, and that's why I was excited about the
guest today. But it's okay, we'll hopefully get her back on.
But it is something where it's nice to not feel
(02:33):
alone in that, Like when I was explaining that to
this random part because we would all gone to dinner
and it was just I didn't know the two other
people that were there, and so it was nice to
even just talk to and she was she had just
entered into her fifties. Oh wow, Okay, so she's like,
it's not fun, it's not and it also is just right.
I think our default is to at least for me,
(02:54):
is to think something's wrong with me, or I shame myself,
or I'm like, why can't I just be grateful or
what you know. And so I have started since we
talked with our last guest and she kind of like
walked us through like a cycle and all the phases,
I have started to like note in my calendar that
maybe these three to four days, I'm a little more
intentional about time for myself, right, like silence, sweating, Like
(03:19):
I need a workout or a sauna or something because
I don't like who I am. Well, I think where
I was at this morning, because you were asking me
a question and I just said, I'm you know, was
explaining where I was at, and she goes, your exact
message to me was sauna, water, move your body, anchor,
and prayer at every chance, you know, And I think
that is such a good I literally copied and pasted it.
(03:41):
Oh good, okay, because I think it's when there's that
overwhelmed because tis the season of a lot of things,
which I am trying to keep the focus on on
all of it. You know. Of course, I was reading
a book last night with Jason about why we give
presents at Christmas, and you know, I think trying to
always turn that talking point back to that is helpful
(04:06):
in it all. But yeah, I mean, sometimes it's just
you need to move. And I think I went for
a nice walk and it helped so much in getting
fresh air. Yeah. I think it's like, I don't know
if this is scientific, but in my brain it's impossible
for anxiety and movement to coexist. So I like trying
(04:28):
to get my heart rate to match maybe where my
anxiety is a little bit and then maybe I can
level out. That's always my goal. Yeah, but it is
a really alienating feeling. And it's also I'm very heightened
sensitivity to passive aggressive comments from said husband perhaps, and
I am I try to be slow to speak a
(04:50):
little bit because my instant reaction is pretty sharp and
not very kind, and so I'm just trying to go
slow through those days and recognize my body is doing
what my body will do. Are you good at apologizing? No? No?
(05:18):
I okay, So I'm really good at apologizing to friends,
and I'm really good at loving friends and telling them
how amazing they are. For some reason, this is a
really ugly admittance. Are you ready? But I think a
lot of people can relate to to that though. But
I'm just not good at apologizing I to my husband
(05:40):
or to floating his boat. But can I say, probably
why I edit but that? Yeah, but I think with no,
not like I'm not like you know too much. No,
I'm not unraftling. I'm not unwrapping the present to keep
this holiday because we all have an unwrapped present. Of
(06:02):
course we do, Okay, that is like how we're talking
in any and I think, you know, I was having
that conversation with this lovely girl that sat next to
me on the flight, and you know, she had just
gotten married, and we you know, I was I was
of course burying my soul and telling it talking to her,
and she was telling me her stuff. And I said,
(06:25):
what I realized is that there is no like there's
no shining night in shining armor. There's there's but there
are good respectful men. But they're still going to have
results or things are going to have like a relationship,
you're going to have your past stuff come in and
ouse issues that maybe you hadn't healed or you hadn't
(06:48):
worked through or whatever it is. Or but I think
within this situation, why maybe you have a hard time apologizing.
And I'm just taking this isn't it, don't put it on.
But it's because I'm thinking about like, oh, yeah, I
sometimes can struggle with that. But because I think there's
underlying resentment, which is why the apology can't come through.
(07:11):
Because you don't have underlying resentment with your friends, but
we possibly might have underlying resentment maybe in our you know,
with women in their marriages. Yeah, agreed, and I so
do you think that's what it is because I'm just
like making this up, but no, I do, and it's
nothing like even it wouldn't even be anything huge right now.
(07:32):
It's more just the weight that the women are carrying
in the season. Yes, like the amount of to do's.
And I love and respect. I didn't marry an a type.
I think if I would have married me, i'd kill me.
So that I understand, and you know, there's obviously really
great things to every person, and so I have this
(07:56):
kind of like fly by the seat of your pants,
let's make a decision, we should really do that kind
of husband. And I am really good at making the
magic happen. I also get very tired. Also, three kids,
got a lot on my plate, and I think that
sometimes when I say no, I wish it could just
be an honored no, and that's the end of the discussion.
(08:20):
No more comments, no more like well I wish we
would have. You know, it's really like for me to
say I'm at capacity, especially with him, is a really
rare occasion because I love to make the dreams happen.
But I do. I'm a solid two on a enneagram,
So I just I think the apology for me can't
(08:40):
be authentic because I do probably have a little bit
of that underlying. What if you separate the apology, because
that's what I need to tell me more So, that's
where I've had to because I don't like the fact
that I wasn't good because I'm good now, but I
separate the apology. Tell me it's still taking accountability, yeah,
(09:00):
but it's captability, but it separates the apology where it's
in that moment I was heightened. I don't I don't
do mean words. That's that's that's off the table. But
I will get heated and frustrated. So my tone is
(09:21):
a little bit. I might say something maybe sarcastic, not sarcastic, passive.
I mean, I might say something passive. Okay, so I'll
do the passive comment and just my overall energy you
can tell that I'm annoyed. So it's like I don't
even have to say anything. It's the energy of it.
So that is where I can apologize because I know
(09:42):
that I can handle it better. But I'm tapped. So
it's like, so that's where it's a two part. So
I can go, hey, I'm sorry. I I you know,
I can definitely see how I was. I could have
I could have communicated that better, because the truth is
I could have. Okay, like but then you operate it, yeah,
because one hundred percent could have done that better. And
(10:05):
and then I'm speaking to my truth. I'm not making
excuses for it, but I'm speaking to it. And I
just felt really overwhelmed this morning, putting it on myself.
Not because I'm not saying because I didn't get any
help from you or because whatever. I'm not putting there
my resentment on him. I'm just saying I could have
handled that better, and you know, not said anything passive,
(10:26):
and I'm so I'm really sorry for that, and then
just been like I you know, and usually what a
probably a good therapist says is to say period the end,
but you know, I do want to explain, like why,
I just I'm I got a little overwhelmed, and I
had a lot going on this morning and I had
to get the kids out in the presence and of
this and then that, and you know, I'm really sorry.
(10:48):
I think that's really good. I actually am going to
take that and work on it. Okay, I really mean it,
because I'm honestly not good. I can I and I'm
not a person that apologizes for nothing either, So I
feel like I'm a really good, strong apologizer when it's time.
But with him specifically, I think he would probably appreciate
it if I could do that more. And I just
don't do that well again, because I don't think you're suffering.
(11:10):
It's not separating, and the impog is in this episode
is the paramountopol and then then add that little rage
and energy into it, then it's almost impossible. But when
you take a breath, go for a walk, sits on
a prey about it, you go, Okay. I definitely could
have handled that with a little less edge, and I
have a reason to be on edge, but I don't
need to be that way correct. I could handle it
(11:31):
different and better and from a good place, yes, And
I can do things to better nourish myself so that
I don't get myself in such an over one place.
And we're still not going to do it perfect. That's
not trying to be so it's because I can't. Even
though I know how to, we do the check ins
so that we I don't get frustrated, but there's still
times where I just carry it all, bottle it up,
(11:52):
and then I'll say something passive or my energy is
like yeah, what like what you know? And I don't
like that. No, I know, I just don't know how
to communicate it sometimes from a good place. So it's
then going, hey, I'm sorry, I can own this part
of it. And while I'm own well, and it's also
it's again it's separating, not not putting in the well
(12:14):
you could have helped me in this then and the
other No, it's I could have what I could have
done better in this situation because I don't think it's
a I'm going to take one hundred percent fault for everything.
When two people are in this and two people can
be helping, that's a situation. Agreed. I do agree. I
actually do really need to work on this. This is
like a real thing for me because at that second
(12:34):
part where you're like, because you should up, that's the
part I can really expand on it. So it's a
little embarrassing. I think it's more turning it instead of saying,
but you should be. It's like, I think what I
need right now is a little bit more help. So
it's like then it's just like and I and I
get overwhelmed when I feel like or I make up
that that's a thing. It's like when you were saying
you're being this way. Therapist always says, I'm making up
(12:58):
that you aren't wanting to help me, and so I'm
feeling resentful. It's all the stories we make up, and
that's how we have to say it. But sometimes it's
hard to communicate that that's absolutely true. So if you
separate the apology, I'm going to text you when I
do out of it. It might be helpful because that
is what I've had to do. I'm gonna text you
(13:19):
when I do it next, taking accountability, but then also
understanding why that feeling came up and hoping that there's
some relief. Yes, let us know how it goes for you.
If you're a bad and apologizer, join me on the team. KB.
We ain't sorry. Trained well on that note, I'm sorry,
(13:41):
but we got to apologize for what you can. Hopefully
we'll get our guest next week. But I feel like
this was a good little on the Cuff podcast. I
sure needed us today and so did my husband. Will
thank you later. Okay, okay, Bart Bye. I
Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'mheart Radio Podcast. Okay,
so today's adult education. I got my girl KB in here,
Hi Kramer, and you know, we had a guest lined up,
but said guest is not here. Perhaps said guest is
delayed in surgery or an appointment of sorry, possibly because
(00:22):
she's a doctor. So that's okay, We're going to give
her some grace and you know what, the show must
go on and it always does. And so here we are.
I am. You know, we were going to talk to
a Harry menopause doc and all things experts and all
things yes expert. And it was one of those things
(00:43):
where I had when I was in New York. I
was having a conversation. We were kind of saying like
what you know me? I like to be like, what
are you leaving? What are you taking? The old Janna Cramer? Yeah,
And so I was telling the table that I was
going to be leaving some anger. Oh really set a
(01:05):
boatload there, friend. Yeah. And it's funny is that because
the girl back to me and she's like, how old
are you? And I said, you know, I want and
that's why I told my age. I just turned forty
two and she's like, She's like, you know, I started
to feel that when I was in perimenopause the rage. Yeah,
uh huh, I'd agree. I'm in it right now. I'm
(01:27):
in a very sneaky tender spot, a very tender forty
eight before. I think I'm getting ambushed by my period
if it decides to come on time, because I'm perimenopause
TVD and I can feel it's usually, and I hate
to say it, it's usually when I start to get
frustrated with the baby. That's when I know I'm like
straight out of patients. It's probably hormonal. Yeah, but it's
(01:50):
a really out of body experience. Yeah, and I don't
like it, uh huh. And it's interesting because I've chatted
with a couple of friends recently who said, you know,
I hope that y'all will talk about this and expand
more on it on Wine Down. And I feel like
we are mentioning a lot, but I don't know that
we're expanding because I think we're trying to be a
(02:10):
fit for most, like a fit for all right, we
have a lot of demographics that listen to this. I
feel like you're right, we haven't expanded on because we
haven't had everything's kind of been dancing around it. Like
one of our guests was just about the period or
you know, and that's why I was excited about the
guest today. But it's okay, we'll hopefully get her back on.
But it is something where it's nice to not feel
(02:33):
alone in that, Like when I was explaining that to
this random part because we would all gone to dinner
and it was just I didn't know the two other
people that were there, and so it was nice to
even just talk to and she was she had just
entered into her fifties. Oh wow, Okay, so she's like,
it's not fun, it's not and it also is just right.
I think our default is to at least for me,
(02:54):
is to think something's wrong with me, or I shame myself,
or I'm like, why can't I just be grateful or
what you know. And so I have started since we
talked with our last guest and she kind of like
walked us through like a cycle and all the phases,
I have started to like note in my calendar that
maybe these three to four days, I'm a little more
intentional about time for myself, right, like silence, sweating, Like
(03:19):
I need a workout or a sauna or something because
I don't like who I am. Well, I think where
I was at this morning, because you were asking me
a question and I just said, I'm you know, was
explaining where I was at, and she goes, your exact
message to me was sauna, water, move your body, anchor,
and prayer at every chance, you know, And I think
that is such a good I literally copied and pasted it.
(03:41):
Oh good, okay, because I think it's when there's that
overwhelmed because tis the season of a lot of things,
which I am trying to keep the focus on on
all of it. You know. Of course, I was reading
a book last night with Jason about why we give
presents at Christmas, and you know, I think trying to
always turn that talking point back to that is helpful
(04:06):
in it all. But yeah, I mean, sometimes it's just
you need to move. And I think I went for
a nice walk and it helped so much in getting
fresh air. Yeah. I think it's like, I don't know
if this is scientific, but in my brain it's impossible
for anxiety and movement to coexist. So I like trying
(04:28):
to get my heart rate to match maybe where my
anxiety is a little bit and then maybe I can
level out. That's always my goal. Yeah, but it is
a really alienating feeling. And it's also I'm very heightened
sensitivity to passive aggressive comments from said husband perhaps, and
I am I try to be slow to speak a
(04:50):
little bit because my instant reaction is pretty sharp and
not very kind, and so I'm just trying to go
slow through those days and recognize my body is doing
what my body will do. Are you good at apologizing? No? No?
(05:18):
I okay, So I'm really good at apologizing to friends,
and I'm really good at loving friends and telling them
how amazing they are. For some reason, this is a
really ugly admittance. Are you ready? But I think a
lot of people can relate to to that though. But
I'm just not good at apologizing I to my husband
(05:40):
or to floating his boat. But can I say, probably
why I edit but that? Yeah, but I think with no,
not like I'm not like you know too much. No,
I'm not unraftling. I'm not unwrapping the present to keep
this holiday because we all have an unwrapped present. Of
(06:02):
course we do, Okay, that is like how we're talking
in any and I think, you know, I was having
that conversation with this lovely girl that sat next to
me on the flight, and you know, she had just
gotten married, and we you know, I was I was
of course burying my soul and telling it talking to her,
and she was telling me her stuff. And I said,
(06:25):
what I realized is that there is no like there's
no shining night in shining armor. There's there's but there
are good respectful men. But they're still going to have
results or things are going to have like a relationship,
you're going to have your past stuff come in and
ouse issues that maybe you hadn't healed or you hadn't
(06:48):
worked through or whatever it is. Or but I think
within this situation, why maybe you have a hard time apologizing.
And I'm just taking this isn't it, don't put it on.
But it's because I'm thinking about like, oh, yeah, I
sometimes can struggle with that. But because I think there's
underlying resentment, which is why the apology can't come through.
(07:11):
Because you don't have underlying resentment with your friends, but
we possibly might have underlying resentment maybe in our you know,
with women in their marriages. Yeah, agreed, and I so
do you think that's what it is because I'm just
like making this up, but no, I do, and it's
nothing like even it wouldn't even be anything huge right now.
(07:32):
It's more just the weight that the women are carrying
in the season. Yes, like the amount of to do's.
And I love and respect. I didn't marry an a type.
I think if I would have married me, i'd kill me.
So that I understand, and you know, there's obviously really
great things to every person, and so I have this
(07:56):
kind of like fly by the seat of your pants,
let's make a decision, we should really do that kind
of husband. And I am really good at making the
magic happen. I also get very tired. Also, three kids,
got a lot on my plate, and I think that
sometimes when I say no, I wish it could just
be an honored no, and that's the end of the discussion.
(08:20):
No more comments, no more like well I wish we
would have. You know, it's really like for me to
say I'm at capacity, especially with him, is a really
rare occasion because I love to make the dreams happen.
But I do. I'm a solid two on a enneagram,
So I just I think the apology for me can't
(08:40):
be authentic because I do probably have a little bit
of that underlying. What if you separate the apology, because
that's what I need to tell me more So, that's
where I've had to because I don't like the fact
that I wasn't good because I'm good now, but I
separate the apology. Tell me it's still taking accountability, yeah,
(09:00):
but it's captability, but it separates the apology where it's
in that moment I was heightened. I don't I don't
do mean words. That's that's that's off the table. But
I will get heated and frustrated. So my tone is
(09:21):
a little bit. I might say something maybe sarcastic, not sarcastic, passive.
I mean, I might say something passive. Okay, so I'll
do the passive comment and just my overall energy you
can tell that I'm annoyed. So it's like I don't
even have to say anything. It's the energy of it.
So that is where I can apologize because I know
(09:42):
that I can handle it better. But I'm tapped. So
it's like, so that's where it's a two part. So
I can go, hey, I'm sorry. I I you know,
I can definitely see how I was. I could have
I could have communicated that better, because the truth is
I could have. Okay, like but then you operate it, yeah,
because one hundred percent could have done that better. And
(10:05):
and then I'm speaking to my truth. I'm not making
excuses for it, but I'm speaking to it. And I
just felt really overwhelmed this morning, putting it on myself.
Not because I'm not saying because I didn't get any
help from you or because whatever. I'm not putting there
my resentment on him. I'm just saying I could have
handled that better, and you know, not said anything passive,
(10:26):
and I'm so I'm really sorry for that, and then
just been like I you know, and usually what a
probably a good therapist says is to say period the end,
but you know, I do want to explain, like why,
I just I'm I got a little overwhelmed, and I
had a lot going on this morning and I had
to get the kids out in the presence and of
this and then that, and you know, I'm really sorry.
(10:48):
I think that's really good. I actually am going to
take that and work on it. Okay, I really mean it,
because I'm honestly not good. I can I and I'm
not a person that apologizes for nothing either, So I
feel like I'm a really good, strong apologizer when it's time.
But with him specifically, I think he would probably appreciate
it if I could do that more. And I just
don't do that well again, because I don't think you're suffering.
(11:10):
It's not separating, and the impog is in this episode
is the paramountopol and then then add that little rage
and energy into it, then it's almost impossible. But when
you take a breath, go for a walk, sits on
a prey about it, you go, Okay. I definitely could
have handled that with a little less edge, and I
have a reason to be on edge, but I don't
need to be that way correct. I could handle it
(11:31):
different and better and from a good place, yes, And
I can do things to better nourish myself so that
I don't get myself in such an over one place.
And we're still not going to do it perfect. That's
not trying to be so it's because I can't. Even
though I know how to, we do the check ins
so that we I don't get frustrated, but there's still
times where I just carry it all, bottle it up,
(11:52):
and then I'll say something passive or my energy is
like yeah, what like what you know? And I don't
like that. No, I know, I just don't know how
to communicate it sometimes from a good place. So it's
then going, hey, I'm sorry, I can own this part
of it. And while I'm own well, and it's also
it's again it's separating, not not putting in the well
(12:14):
you could have helped me in this then and the
other No, it's I could have what I could have
done better in this situation because I don't think it's
a I'm going to take one hundred percent fault for everything.
When two people are in this and two people can
be helping, that's a situation. Agreed. I do agree. I
actually do really need to work on this. This is
like a real thing for me because at that second
(12:34):
part where you're like, because you should up, that's the
part I can really expand on it. So it's a
little embarrassing. I think it's more turning it instead of saying,
but you should be. It's like, I think what I
need right now is a little bit more help. So
it's like then it's just like and I and I
get overwhelmed when I feel like or I make up
that that's a thing. It's like when you were saying
you're being this way. Therapist always says, I'm making up
(12:58):
that you aren't wanting to help me, and so I'm
feeling resentful. It's all the stories we make up, and
that's how we have to say it. But sometimes it's
hard to communicate that that's absolutely true. So if you
separate the apology, I'm going to text you when I
do out of it. It might be helpful because that
is what I've had to do. I'm gonna text you
(13:19):
when I do it next, taking accountability, but then also
understanding why that feeling came up and hoping that there's
some relief. Yes, let us know how it goes for you.
If you're a bad and apologizer, join me on the team. KB.
We ain't sorry. Trained well on that note, I'm sorry,
(13:41):
but we got to apologize for what you can. Hopefully
we'll get our guest next week. But I feel like
this was a good little on the Cuff podcast. I
sure needed us today and so did my husband. Will
thank you later. Okay, okay, Bart Bye. I
Host
Jana Kramer
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The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Two Guys, Five Rings: Matt, Bowen & The Olympics
Two Guys (Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers). Five Rings (you know, from the Olympics logo). One essential podcast for the 2026 Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics. Bowen Yang (SNL, Wicked) and Matt Rogers (Palm Royale, No Good Deed) of Las Culturistas are back for a second season of Two Guys, Five Rings, a collaboration with NBC Sports and iHeartRadio. In this 15-episode event, Bowen and Matt discuss the top storylines, obsess over Italian culture, and find out what really goes on in the Olympic Village.