December 3, 2025 • 24 mins
Jana and Kristen are ready to learn the realities of self-defense and safety from a woman who’s seen it all. Nina Hobson is a veteran of the British police and has worked undercover, homicide, and in the child-abuse unit.
Nina shares a crucial safety routine for getting into a rideshare that she suggests all women follow, and she has some practical advice for women in the dating scene that will help you feel more secure.
Plus, learn some safety strategies for moms, runners, and women out running errands alone.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
This week's Adult Education, we have Nina Hobson on, So, ladies,
this one's for you if you are actually all of
Windown is for you. But I don't think we have
a male listener. And then my uncle used to listen
ages ago, but I think he's dropped off.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Well you're there, give us a signal.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
But this is all about safety, how to protect yourself,
parking lots, your kids, yourself, dates. Let's get Nina hops
it on. Nina, can you just I mean, your bio
is I mean, it's it's a book, it's so it's
so big. Can what can you tell the listeners who
you are, where you're from. Obviously they're going to know
where you're from in about two seconds, but just you know,
(00:50):
just kind of your your background and how it pertains
to what we're gonna talk about today.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Sure, well, thank you for having me on the show.
I'm really excited about it. But yeah, the accent gives
it away. So I am originally British. I joined the
British Police Force at eighteen, having watched an episode of
Cagneine Lacey and New Ladies That Are Too Young to
know who that is. But they inspired me to join
the police. So I joined the police.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
And.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I wanted to be a dog handler. Wasn't able to
be for various reasons back then, because it's a while ago.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
They didn't have females.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
We just had a handbag as our protection and we
wore skirt and heels. Crazy And then So I was
a cop for fifteen years and during that time I
did everything possible. I had an amazing career. I worked
under cover, I worked in protection exec protection. I worked,
(01:47):
as you call it, a homicide detective. It sounds so
much more glamorous because we call it major crime officer
and it's not got the same ring. But so I
was a homicide detective. I work for seven years in
the child abuse unit, so investigating child murders and everything.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
I'm kidnapped to abuse And yeah, that was.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
That's got to be. That must have been hard.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Yeah, compartmentalizing that to come home at the end of
the day, that's really a lot.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
It was. I mean I actually went to see a
shrink and said, hey, what's wrong with me? Because the
things I've seen in my life, I should be absolutely
cooky right now. And maybe some people will say I am,
but they just said I'm fortunate. You know, I could
go home, having seen the worst of the worst and
(02:40):
look at my children and hug my children and often
wake them in the middle of the night, just to
keep normal.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
And I'm one of.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
The fortunate people that's able to do that. So I'm very,
very privileged. So after my time in the police, I
became really disillusioned with the police force, because good cops
are really good cops, and bad cops get the press.
And so for a year I went undercover. I told
no one except a lawyer who advised me not to
(03:12):
do it, and I filmed internally the corruption within the
police force. And when I came out, I knew I'd
lost my job, so I knew fifteen years of my
adult life was gone. But I felt so passionate about
that that, you know, I did it. A documentary was
(03:33):
made about the findings, and actually as a result of that,
the way that sexual assaults were investigated changed across the board,
the processes, the laws, and so obviously now I look
back but at that with such pride. But at that
moment in time, I now don't have a job or
(03:54):
my beloved career, and I was sat feeling sorry for
myself when a gold envelope came through the letterbox and
I didn't know what it was, but I opened it
and it said that I was a finalist in UK
Woman of the Year for services to my country. And
(04:14):
I went to the most amazing event and I met
the most amazing people, and that was the moment that
I realized what I'd done was worth it. So and
I do apologize, I've got a bit of a cold.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
But so then move on fast forward.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
We moved to Australia, not because we were chased out
the country, although that's a way better story. And we
lived in Australia so our kids could have a nicer
sunshine life. And I set up a security company in
Australia and I one day again was called in the
middle of the night by a gentleman who was at
(04:53):
the time, I think probably still is Australia's wealthiest man.
And he said, my daughter's friend has an issue with
a stalker and I've been called and told you're the person.
So I tracked down this stalker who was making this
young girl's life hell, and then I then worked for
(05:16):
him and his family and his company in every.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Aspect of security.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I sold that company in Australia and then my big
kids moved to America, so it's all them, and I
decided that it was a time for me to not
be the other side of the world, and I moved
over to America and since I've been here, have thrived
in the security industry, have hopefully led and empowered females
(05:45):
in the security industry. And here's home now for the
rest of time, because my daughter married an American, so
ye're not coming back.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
You're here. Wow, Well that's quite a resume. When it
comes to the safety for women, what is the biggest
thing that we're missing that we're doing I don't want
to say wrong, but that you see is the biggest problem.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
You know, people talk all the time, and I'm very
I'm an advocate for doing whatever you can as a
woman to protect yourself. So people talk about going on
this self defense and doing that. In reality, to me,
in my experience, unless you're really well, really well trained,
sometimes that training it doesn't necessarily help at that moment.
(06:35):
And we all act really differently when we're confronted with
something that we're not used to, and there definitely is.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Awareness if you have some kind of training.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
But I think for me, situational awareness all the time
is the.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Way that we protect ourselves.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
So it may be, you know, the way that we
put our drinks down in a bar to make sure
that no one is going to be able to put
something into that drink, even you know, getting into an Uber,
I have a whole process when I get into an Uber.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
What is your process when you get into an Uber?
Speaker 4 (07:12):
Firstly, never take a water off a Uber driver.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
There are times where that is being spiked, so don't
ever take a water. I always make a fake phone
call so I don't have anyone on the end of
the phone. But I firstly I say that oh sorry, yeah,
I just missed you. Oh you're only ten seconds away.
Oh I'm going to be late, so I have to go,
so that a nuber immediately realizes your house isn't empty
(07:40):
for any given time. I then also explain where I'm
going and how long it will take for me to
get there, and I've just put my locations on So
the fake person on the phone and the Uber driver
is listening to everything that I've said. They now know
that someone knows exactly where I am, who I'm with,
where I'm going, and that my house isn't left.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I guess I've never looked into it. But are there
stats for things that happen due to uber interactions or
like that?
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah, and I think they're becoming more and more publicized.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
And I think because I haven't heard of that, certainly
can look at that.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
From the company that I work for, torch Stone Global,
we have access. We have what's called a G socks,
so we have access to all kinds of intelligence. But yeah,
back to the original question. You know, it's situational awareness,
being aware all the time as best you can, you know.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
And I'm not someone who says don't.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Go out and have a drunken wild night, but if
you're going to go out and have a drunken wild night,
don't do it on your own. Make sure somebody knows.
And the data, the dating sites and the dating situations
are so dangerous. And I recently did an investigation into
(09:11):
a young lady. She'd gone out on a date. It
was a last minute thing. She hadn't told anyone. The
only way that anyone knew she had gone on a
date was she took a picture in the Uber and
basically said, do you like my outfit? I'm meeting that
guy that I told you about, had as In told
you about. I've been talking to him. I again, I
(09:34):
often get phone calls in the middle of the night,
but I got a phone call at two in the
morning from her parents in Australia, and she was an
actress over here, so he got a lot of attention,
and they said, she's gone missing. We think she's dead.
This isn't like her. And for three days I believe
that I was going to tell her parents that she
(09:56):
had she had been killed or something, because we couldn't
find and even things like her her accounts had all
gone down. At nine o'clock, she ordered an uber to
get into an uber and hadn't got into the uber,
and we didn't. We didn't have that much to go on.
We did eventually locate the lady, and there's a belief
(10:17):
that she was drugged during her date. She could only
remember that she went to the bathroom and when she
came out, he had moved locations. He'd taken her where
they were sat into a darker corner of the restaurant
that was very private, and she said to him, why
if we move tables, and he said, because you know,
(10:39):
I want us to be private, and she said, with hindsight,
looking back, you know, she should have said, well, we
were fine where we were, but she took on board
he wanted to be in a more romantic area.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
And then she can't remember anything.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
The next thing was that she woke up in a
jail cell and that was where she was. But so
for me, the dating apps, I have a friend who
writes where she's going, who she's.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Going with in an envelope.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
She doesn't give me that information because she says, I
know you'll turn up and sit at the back of
the restaurant. But if an incident or I didn't hear
from her, and even if it's hey, I'm okay at
this location. We share locations, then I open the envelope
and we go in with the troops. But there's just
(11:30):
some simple things that I think we should all be
aware of that make us safer.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
So I do have a question concerning the drinks, because
even here in Lower Broadway in Nashville, there's been a
huge uprising of people getting drugs in their drinks. A
lot of them are actually males, which is interesting to me.
Because they are kind of banking on the embarrassment that
they'll have that they wouldn't call the corps, think that
they drink too much week up in their hotel room.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Belonging is gone, the phone is gone, yeap.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
So there's some pro apptive campaigns down on Broadway right
now with drink covers and those kinds of things. But
we have a lot of really young listeners for this show,
sweet sweet, twenty somethings, all looking for love, and I
know that if I was to be single again, the
dating apps overwhelming so much. It feels like it just
(12:18):
it feels like we're hearing more of these stories than
true love, right, and so it gets overwhelming. So if
you and you're a mother, like, what is your best
advice for these girls going out on dates on apps?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Is it?
Speaker 5 (12:29):
I mean, it gets so overwhelming, right, you don't want
to make everybody a serial killer there. We want to
all meet a mate and maybe potentially have a family.
But it seems so overwhelming that all we hear about
are these really diabolical evenings and people gone missing and
having just set location. So, like, what's some really good
proactive tips in the dating world?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Okay, so, and I hear exactly what you're saying, and
we don't want to turn. You know, everyone still wants
to live their life and we don't want to turn
everyone to be absolutely parent and petrified.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
And because I'm paranoid and petrified, Nina, I am. I'm
I'm the woman who's like, not that man looks suspicious
in target. I'm not taking my babies anywhere.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
No.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
But but I when you talk to the drink part
of things, I'm the psycho that even at even at
refuge or counseling place or flower child, any open water container,
I never drink from.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I know, I'm like drink.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
I'm like, well, who knows candy, but maybe they put
something there. I mean, I was so scared of any
if my drink was sat down, I will order a
new drink because I maybe took my eye off it
for a second, Like I just why are we this way? Well,
I think my mom scared me about it, you know.
But also I'm glad you know me too. That was
just But even now, what I've been told was my
(13:46):
old sitter that was helping us on a movie. She
was on location with me, and she gave she had
the day off, so she went to New York. The
bartender before she even got the drink though, was it
was spiked, So that was you know, that was that's
what's also happening, which is so screwed up.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Yeah, and you know, we're always going to find the
bad people in this world who are going to use
those opportunities to be a bartender to do that and
then you know, offer to walk you out of you
to take you home because you're in the bartender that's
looked happy and friendly. But I think, and you know,
I'm I'm the same. I'm good on your mom because
(14:25):
I mean, the fact that you've been overcautious could potentially
be the reason that you're going to be safer. So again,
it's about being smart and really trying to just think
have things as a habit.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
So you know, the drink set.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
For example, if you or your friend aren't looking at
your drink and it's going to cost you another drink,
is that not a better option than obviously something awful
happening to you. And the dating sites and lot, I'm
a fifty five year old woman trying to find love
and it's no different to the young twenty year olds
and you know, we all act really differently when our
(15:01):
hearts are involved as to when our heads are involved.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
And I'm the worst. I don't tell anyone anything.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
I just do my thing and probably don't practice anything
that I preach. But I think there's just some really
simple things like just get to know a person. You know.
You can look at even somebody's profile of when are
they contacting you, how is it written? And again, have
(15:28):
a process in your mind. So I'm all, I mean,
I've cut people down straight away, but I'm get to
know someone via text, and then I have that conversation
with them, and if that conversation doesn't feel right, no
one gets the second chance. But I think, and then
when you're going out, just make sure somebody knows where
you're going.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
I'm going out.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
You don't have to give any intimate details of a person,
but I'm going out to this location. I'm going on
this date. Share a location. I would always suggest, because again,
it costs nothing. If no one has to get to
you with your best friend, with your mom, with your
best friend's mom, it doesn't matter who it is. But
just make sure that you're letting somebody know, and just
(16:10):
be mindful when something does feel too good. And I'm
trying to put myself back many years to the twenty
year old situation, which is a long time ago. But
you know, when something feels too good, when the amazing
restaurant or the offer of a trip or meet me
over in this state, just be very and I'm not
(16:32):
saying that doesn't happen, and we all want to find
that person, but just be very mindful and just double
check yourself before you do things. Just have the opportunity
to say, got feeling.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
My gut.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Feeling has literally saved my life so many times, so
many times. Yeah, and go with your gut because on
the one or two occasions I haven't, I've ended up
like in a situation I don't want to be, So
you know, do that.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
And when you go somewhere, Yeah, I was gonna say
parking lots what it's like, especially especially moms that we're moms,
you know, as like you are, so we're out of
numbered with kids. We're out numbered with kids. What is
the best tip for moms during the season two of
Christmas shopping and all of.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
That, and again, light because darkness is an attraction for crime.
So if you go to park somewhere. Try and park
somewhere that's light and not you know, even the back
the back row of the car park, or the eighth
floor of the maulty story. If you can get somewhere
that's obviously lower down where there's likely to be more people.
(17:45):
If you ever feel uncomfortable in any way and you're
getting in a lift or and you think somebody is,
you know, making you uncomfortable, don't get in the lift.
And again we all do that a lot of the time.
We have a feeling and we don't act on it.
We see things, and nowadays it's sometimes not safe to
(18:06):
act on things that we see. But we have to
start to learn to act on what we actually see
and what we feel as opposed to what we're expected
to do or feel. And it's same as if you
ever feel that you know anyone was following you, keep driving,
don't go to a home address, go.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
To a police station. Pull up at a police station.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Guarantee that the person behind you is going to drive
straight on past. And I know that these are kind
of extremes, but I think if we're any kind of
training and understanding an awareness before an incident happens helps
when an incident happens, because there's a few minutes of
or those few seconds of decision making can be very
(18:51):
important to your own safety.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I have a question around activity because I love to run.
I love to run, and there's some pretty secluded streets
that in country farmland that will run on. It's there's
houses around, but there they're a little bit away. But
there's always that thought. I'm like, man, if there was
like a big old truck that came with a bunch
of dudes, I'm like, and it's and it's made me
(19:30):
not enjoy my And again, I love running. I love
running outside. So what's something that I that runners or
people that want to go out for walks that they're
not in the neighborhood. How can they protect themselves?
Speaker 3 (19:42):
I think one of the things is and that example
you just gave if that happened. Firstly, even if somebody
wants to ask you for help, don't don't stop for help.
You know it may bee, hey, have you got a
mobile phone because our truck's broken down?
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Keep on running.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
And that's not being rude, being smart unless you feel
like you know that you.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Can see against your situational awareness.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
So of what's really happening, have one ear pod in
and one earpod out, because one of the things that
we do very often nowadays, and especially you know, the
younger generation, where their Instagram and their mobile and their
everything is there everything keeping an earpod out it means
that you are aware of the situation around you more.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
And so while you're running.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
And enjoy your music, will also be aware of what
may or may not be happening alongside you on the street.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
And I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
You know, I really do want you to enjoy your
running again, and it's worst case scenario by being a
little bit more aware and again tell someone where you.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Going, Well, I think the whole you know, one of
our close areas here is a high sex trafficking area,
and you know, start to think about that, it's just
it makes it makes me more freaked out because im
all right, where are they gonna sell me? You know
if like like my mind goes to like those all
those thoughts and it's sad that that's where we're at.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
Well, that's a good segue because my question for you
is is the world mostly.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Good or mostly bad? You know, because I feel we
all are living in the one.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
Percent, two percent, five percent statistics in the stories, and
I like that because there's such an awareness that I
do think it is actually quite literally saving our lives.
I think someone will listen to this podcast and because
of something you've said in your decades of expertise, they
will make a different decision. So I like the information sharing.
But if you're an over sensitive person like the two
girls on this couch are deeply empathetic, and you know,
(21:44):
always kind of on alert, you've seen the worst of
the worst you have in your career, no doubt it.
I do not doubt it at all, have seen the
worst things. Do you still believe the world is mostly good?
And how do you believe that the.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
World is definitely mostly good? Okay? You know I have.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I lived in the dark side, and I've worked in
the dark side, and you know, I rescued sex traffic
children from near where you are, and I still come
home every day and realize what a great world we
are in, and we are talking, you know, a very
small percentage of the world that I see, unfortunately, but
(22:30):
this awareness to me is so important because it keeps
us safer. And if this one one thing I've said
keeps one person safe, then that's all that matters. If
what we've said keeps a lot more people safe, that's
even better. But no, the world is a good place
and we can make it better.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Well, Nina, thank you so much for coming on. We
really appreciate it. And again, like you said, if it
helps one person, then job well done, and you're doing
an amazing job. So thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
All right, appreciate you. Thanks for coming on. We love
I feel better. Bye, okay by Nina. Bye. You know
it's funny when when she speaks about situation situational awareness.
I'm like, I had to chuckle to myself because my
ex husband would say, you have no situational awareness, and
I'm like, with what sense. He's like, I'm making a
peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you're trying to have
(23:25):
a conversation with me.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Not the same too, One of these things is not
like the other.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Sorry to bother you.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Maybe your situational awareness was a little off during that time,
but not about the v.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
I also heard too, and I was going to ask
her that we're running out of time, the what if
you were attacked? And this was from someone that is
in the law enforcement area. They said, to make the
biggest scene you could possibly make, like scream fight as much,
because once you get in that car the chances of
you coming out of that car are, like, the statistic
(24:01):
is very low.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
I just feel like I'm living in such fear so
often recently, like I don't take the kids to target.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
We're not doing Oh friend, that's you. Come on girl,
I just don't know.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
But there's one of me and three of them.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
I know I've done it, you know, I know. But
it's also it's like the hypervigilance just wears me out.
I'm like, this is not enjoyable. Yeah, I don't know
where the middle is. But Nina says the world's still
mostly good good, and she's seen it all
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
This week's Adult Education, we have Nina Hobson on, So, ladies,
this one's for you if you are actually all of
Windown is for you. But I don't think we have
a male listener. And then my uncle used to listen
ages ago, but I think he's dropped off.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Well you're there, give us a signal.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
But this is all about safety, how to protect yourself,
parking lots, your kids, yourself, dates. Let's get Nina hops
it on. Nina, can you just I mean, your bio
is I mean, it's it's a book, it's so it's
so big. Can what can you tell the listeners who
you are, where you're from. Obviously they're going to know
where you're from in about two seconds, but just you know,
(00:50):
just kind of your your background and how it pertains
to what we're gonna talk about today.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Sure, well, thank you for having me on the show.
I'm really excited about it. But yeah, the accent gives
it away. So I am originally British. I joined the
British Police Force at eighteen, having watched an episode of
Cagneine Lacey and New Ladies That Are Too Young to
know who that is. But they inspired me to join
the police. So I joined the police.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
And.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I wanted to be a dog handler. Wasn't able to
be for various reasons back then, because it's a while ago.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
They didn't have females.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
We just had a handbag as our protection and we
wore skirt and heels. Crazy And then So I was
a cop for fifteen years and during that time I
did everything possible. I had an amazing career. I worked
under cover, I worked in protection exec protection. I worked,
(01:47):
as you call it, a homicide detective. It sounds so
much more glamorous because we call it major crime officer
and it's not got the same ring. But so I
was a homicide detective. I work for seven years in
the child abuse unit, so investigating child murders and everything.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
I'm kidnapped to abuse And yeah, that was.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
That's got to be. That must have been hard.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Yeah, compartmentalizing that to come home at the end of
the day, that's really a lot.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
It was. I mean I actually went to see a
shrink and said, hey, what's wrong with me? Because the
things I've seen in my life, I should be absolutely
cooky right now. And maybe some people will say I am,
but they just said I'm fortunate. You know, I could
go home, having seen the worst of the worst and
(02:40):
look at my children and hug my children and often
wake them in the middle of the night, just to
keep normal.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
And I'm one of.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
The fortunate people that's able to do that. So I'm very,
very privileged. So after my time in the police, I
became really disillusioned with the police force, because good cops
are really good cops, and bad cops get the press.
And so for a year I went undercover. I told
no one except a lawyer who advised me not to
(03:12):
do it, and I filmed internally the corruption within the
police force. And when I came out, I knew I'd
lost my job, so I knew fifteen years of my
adult life was gone. But I felt so passionate about
that that, you know, I did it. A documentary was
(03:33):
made about the findings, and actually as a result of that,
the way that sexual assaults were investigated changed across the board,
the processes, the laws, and so obviously now I look
back but at that with such pride. But at that
moment in time, I now don't have a job or
(03:54):
my beloved career, and I was sat feeling sorry for
myself when a gold envelope came through the letterbox and
I didn't know what it was, but I opened it
and it said that I was a finalist in UK
Woman of the Year for services to my country. And
(04:14):
I went to the most amazing event and I met
the most amazing people, and that was the moment that
I realized what I'd done was worth it. So and
I do apologize, I've got a bit of a cold.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
But so then move on fast forward.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
We moved to Australia, not because we were chased out
the country, although that's a way better story. And we
lived in Australia so our kids could have a nicer
sunshine life. And I set up a security company in
Australia and I one day again was called in the
middle of the night by a gentleman who was at
(04:53):
the time, I think probably still is Australia's wealthiest man.
And he said, my daughter's friend has an issue with
a stalker and I've been called and told you're the person.
So I tracked down this stalker who was making this
young girl's life hell, and then I then worked for
(05:16):
him and his family and his company in every.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Aspect of security.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I sold that company in Australia and then my big
kids moved to America, so it's all them, and I
decided that it was a time for me to not
be the other side of the world, and I moved
over to America and since I've been here, have thrived
in the security industry, have hopefully led and empowered females
(05:45):
in the security industry. And here's home now for the
rest of time, because my daughter married an American, so
ye're not coming back.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
You're here. Wow, Well that's quite a resume. When it
comes to the safety for women, what is the biggest
thing that we're missing that we're doing I don't want
to say wrong, but that you see is the biggest problem.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
You know, people talk all the time, and I'm very
I'm an advocate for doing whatever you can as a
woman to protect yourself. So people talk about going on
this self defense and doing that. In reality, to me,
in my experience, unless you're really well, really well trained,
sometimes that training it doesn't necessarily help at that moment.
(06:35):
And we all act really differently when we're confronted with
something that we're not used to, and there definitely is.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Awareness if you have some kind of training.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
But I think for me, situational awareness all the time
is the.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Way that we protect ourselves.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
So it may be, you know, the way that we
put our drinks down in a bar to make sure
that no one is going to be able to put
something into that drink, even you know, getting into an Uber,
I have a whole process when I get into an Uber.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
What is your process when you get into an Uber?
Speaker 4 (07:12):
Firstly, never take a water off a Uber driver.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
There are times where that is being spiked, so don't
ever take a water. I always make a fake phone
call so I don't have anyone on the end of
the phone. But I firstly I say that oh sorry, yeah,
I just missed you. Oh you're only ten seconds away.
Oh I'm going to be late, so I have to go,
so that a nuber immediately realizes your house isn't empty
(07:40):
for any given time. I then also explain where I'm
going and how long it will take for me to
get there, and I've just put my locations on So
the fake person on the phone and the Uber driver
is listening to everything that I've said. They now know
that someone knows exactly where I am, who I'm with,
where I'm going, and that my house isn't left.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I guess I've never looked into it. But are there
stats for things that happen due to uber interactions or
like that?
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah, and I think they're becoming more and more publicized.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
And I think because I haven't heard of that, certainly
can look at that.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
From the company that I work for, torch Stone Global,
we have access. We have what's called a G socks,
so we have access to all kinds of intelligence. But yeah,
back to the original question. You know, it's situational awareness,
being aware all the time as best you can, you know.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
And I'm not someone who says don't.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Go out and have a drunken wild night, but if
you're going to go out and have a drunken wild night,
don't do it on your own. Make sure somebody knows.
And the data, the dating sites and the dating situations
are so dangerous. And I recently did an investigation into
(09:11):
a young lady. She'd gone out on a date. It
was a last minute thing. She hadn't told anyone. The
only way that anyone knew she had gone on a
date was she took a picture in the Uber and
basically said, do you like my outfit? I'm meeting that
guy that I told you about, had as In told
you about. I've been talking to him. I again, I
(09:34):
often get phone calls in the middle of the night,
but I got a phone call at two in the
morning from her parents in Australia, and she was an
actress over here, so he got a lot of attention,
and they said, she's gone missing. We think she's dead.
This isn't like her. And for three days I believe
that I was going to tell her parents that she
(09:56):
had she had been killed or something, because we couldn't
find and even things like her her accounts had all
gone down. At nine o'clock, she ordered an uber to
get into an uber and hadn't got into the uber,
and we didn't. We didn't have that much to go on.
We did eventually locate the lady, and there's a belief
(10:17):
that she was drugged during her date. She could only
remember that she went to the bathroom and when she
came out, he had moved locations. He'd taken her where
they were sat into a darker corner of the restaurant
that was very private, and she said to him, why
if we move tables, and he said, because you know,
(10:39):
I want us to be private, and she said, with hindsight,
looking back, you know, she should have said, well, we
were fine where we were, but she took on board
he wanted to be in a more romantic area.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
And then she can't remember anything.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
The next thing was that she woke up in a
jail cell and that was where she was. But so
for me, the dating apps, I have a friend who
writes where she's going, who she's.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Going with in an envelope.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
She doesn't give me that information because she says, I
know you'll turn up and sit at the back of
the restaurant. But if an incident or I didn't hear
from her, and even if it's hey, I'm okay at
this location. We share locations, then I open the envelope
and we go in with the troops. But there's just
(11:30):
some simple things that I think we should all be
aware of that make us safer.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
So I do have a question concerning the drinks, because
even here in Lower Broadway in Nashville, there's been a
huge uprising of people getting drugs in their drinks. A
lot of them are actually males, which is interesting to me.
Because they are kind of banking on the embarrassment that
they'll have that they wouldn't call the corps, think that
they drink too much week up in their hotel room.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Belonging is gone, the phone is gone, yeap.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
So there's some pro apptive campaigns down on Broadway right
now with drink covers and those kinds of things. But
we have a lot of really young listeners for this show,
sweet sweet, twenty somethings, all looking for love, and I
know that if I was to be single again, the
dating apps overwhelming so much. It feels like it just
(12:18):
it feels like we're hearing more of these stories than
true love, right, and so it gets overwhelming. So if
you and you're a mother, like, what is your best
advice for these girls going out on dates on apps?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Is it?
Speaker 5 (12:29):
I mean, it gets so overwhelming, right, you don't want
to make everybody a serial killer there. We want to
all meet a mate and maybe potentially have a family.
But it seems so overwhelming that all we hear about
are these really diabolical evenings and people gone missing and
having just set location. So, like, what's some really good
proactive tips in the dating world?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Okay, so, and I hear exactly what you're saying, and
we don't want to turn. You know, everyone still wants
to live their life and we don't want to turn
everyone to be absolutely parent and petrified.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
And because I'm paranoid and petrified, Nina, I am. I'm
I'm the woman who's like, not that man looks suspicious
in target. I'm not taking my babies anywhere.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
No.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
But but I when you talk to the drink part
of things, I'm the psycho that even at even at
refuge or counseling place or flower child, any open water container,
I never drink from.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I know, I'm like drink.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
I'm like, well, who knows candy, but maybe they put
something there. I mean, I was so scared of any
if my drink was sat down, I will order a
new drink because I maybe took my eye off it
for a second, Like I just why are we this way? Well,
I think my mom scared me about it, you know.
But also I'm glad you know me too. That was
just But even now, what I've been told was my
(13:46):
old sitter that was helping us on a movie. She
was on location with me, and she gave she had
the day off, so she went to New York. The
bartender before she even got the drink though, was it
was spiked, So that was you know, that was that's
what's also happening, which is so screwed up.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Yeah, and you know, we're always going to find the
bad people in this world who are going to use
those opportunities to be a bartender to do that and
then you know, offer to walk you out of you
to take you home because you're in the bartender that's
looked happy and friendly. But I think, and you know,
I'm I'm the same. I'm good on your mom because
(14:25):
I mean, the fact that you've been overcautious could potentially
be the reason that you're going to be safer. So again,
it's about being smart and really trying to just think
have things as a habit.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
So you know, the drink set.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
For example, if you or your friend aren't looking at
your drink and it's going to cost you another drink,
is that not a better option than obviously something awful
happening to you. And the dating sites and lot, I'm
a fifty five year old woman trying to find love
and it's no different to the young twenty year olds
and you know, we all act really differently when our
(15:01):
hearts are involved as to when our heads are involved.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
And I'm the worst. I don't tell anyone anything.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
I just do my thing and probably don't practice anything
that I preach. But I think there's just some really
simple things like just get to know a person. You know.
You can look at even somebody's profile of when are
they contacting you, how is it written? And again, have
(15:28):
a process in your mind. So I'm all, I mean,
I've cut people down straight away, but I'm get to
know someone via text, and then I have that conversation
with them, and if that conversation doesn't feel right, no
one gets the second chance. But I think, and then
when you're going out, just make sure somebody knows where
you're going.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
I'm going out.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
You don't have to give any intimate details of a person,
but I'm going out to this location. I'm going on
this date. Share a location. I would always suggest, because again,
it costs nothing. If no one has to get to
you with your best friend, with your mom, with your
best friend's mom, it doesn't matter who it is. But
just make sure that you're letting somebody know, and just
(16:10):
be mindful when something does feel too good. And I'm
trying to put myself back many years to the twenty
year old situation, which is a long time ago. But
you know, when something feels too good, when the amazing
restaurant or the offer of a trip or meet me
over in this state, just be very and I'm not
(16:32):
saying that doesn't happen, and we all want to find
that person, but just be very mindful and just double
check yourself before you do things. Just have the opportunity
to say, got feeling.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
My gut.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Feeling has literally saved my life so many times, so
many times. Yeah, and go with your gut because on
the one or two occasions I haven't, I've ended up
like in a situation I don't want to be, So
you know, do that.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
And when you go somewhere, Yeah, I was gonna say
parking lots what it's like, especially especially moms that we're moms,
you know, as like you are, so we're out of
numbered with kids. We're out numbered with kids. What is
the best tip for moms during the season two of
Christmas shopping and all of.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
That, and again, light because darkness is an attraction for crime.
So if you go to park somewhere. Try and park
somewhere that's light and not you know, even the back
the back row of the car park, or the eighth
floor of the maulty story. If you can get somewhere
that's obviously lower down where there's likely to be more people.
(17:45):
If you ever feel uncomfortable in any way and you're
getting in a lift or and you think somebody is,
you know, making you uncomfortable, don't get in the lift.
And again we all do that a lot of the time.
We have a feeling and we don't act on it.
We see things, and nowadays it's sometimes not safe to
(18:06):
act on things that we see. But we have to
start to learn to act on what we actually see
and what we feel as opposed to what we're expected
to do or feel. And it's same as if you
ever feel that you know anyone was following you, keep driving,
don't go to a home address, go.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
To a police station. Pull up at a police station.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Guarantee that the person behind you is going to drive
straight on past. And I know that these are kind
of extremes, but I think if we're any kind of
training and understanding an awareness before an incident happens helps
when an incident happens, because there's a few minutes of
or those few seconds of decision making can be very
(18:51):
important to your own safety.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I have a question around activity because I love to run.
I love to run, and there's some pretty secluded streets
that in country farmland that will run on. It's there's
houses around, but there they're a little bit away. But
there's always that thought. I'm like, man, if there was
like a big old truck that came with a bunch
of dudes, I'm like, and it's and it's made me
(19:30):
not enjoy my And again, I love running. I love
running outside. So what's something that I that runners or
people that want to go out for walks that they're
not in the neighborhood. How can they protect themselves?
Speaker 3 (19:42):
I think one of the things is and that example
you just gave if that happened. Firstly, even if somebody
wants to ask you for help, don't don't stop for help.
You know it may bee, hey, have you got a
mobile phone because our truck's broken down?
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Keep on running.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
And that's not being rude, being smart unless you feel
like you know that you.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Can see against your situational awareness.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
So of what's really happening, have one ear pod in
and one earpod out, because one of the things that
we do very often nowadays, and especially you know, the
younger generation, where their Instagram and their mobile and their
everything is there everything keeping an earpod out it means
that you are aware of the situation around you more.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
And so while you're running.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
And enjoy your music, will also be aware of what
may or may not be happening alongside you on the street.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
And I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
You know, I really do want you to enjoy your
running again, and it's worst case scenario by being a
little bit more aware and again tell someone where you.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Going, Well, I think the whole you know, one of
our close areas here is a high sex trafficking area,
and you know, start to think about that, it's just
it makes it makes me more freaked out because im
all right, where are they gonna sell me? You know
if like like my mind goes to like those all
those thoughts and it's sad that that's where we're at.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
Well, that's a good segue because my question for you
is is the world mostly.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Good or mostly bad? You know, because I feel we
all are living in the one.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
Percent, two percent, five percent statistics in the stories, and
I like that because there's such an awareness that I
do think it is actually quite literally saving our lives.
I think someone will listen to this podcast and because
of something you've said in your decades of expertise, they
will make a different decision. So I like the information sharing.
But if you're an over sensitive person like the two
girls on this couch are deeply empathetic, and you know,
(21:44):
always kind of on alert, you've seen the worst of
the worst you have in your career, no doubt it.
I do not doubt it at all, have seen the
worst things. Do you still believe the world is mostly good?
And how do you believe that the.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
World is definitely mostly good? Okay? You know I have.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I lived in the dark side, and I've worked in
the dark side, and you know, I rescued sex traffic
children from near where you are, and I still come
home every day and realize what a great world we
are in, and we are talking, you know, a very
small percentage of the world that I see, unfortunately, but
(22:30):
this awareness to me is so important because it keeps
us safer. And if this one one thing I've said
keeps one person safe, then that's all that matters. If
what we've said keeps a lot more people safe, that's
even better. But no, the world is a good place
and we can make it better.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Well, Nina, thank you so much for coming on. We
really appreciate it. And again, like you said, if it
helps one person, then job well done, and you're doing
an amazing job. So thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
All right, appreciate you. Thanks for coming on. We love
I feel better. Bye, okay by Nina. Bye. You know
it's funny when when she speaks about situation situational awareness.
I'm like, I had to chuckle to myself because my
ex husband would say, you have no situational awareness, and
I'm like, with what sense. He's like, I'm making a
peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you're trying to have
(23:25):
a conversation with me.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Not the same too, One of these things is not
like the other.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Sorry to bother you.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Maybe your situational awareness was a little off during that time,
but not about the v.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
I also heard too, and I was going to ask
her that we're running out of time, the what if
you were attacked? And this was from someone that is
in the law enforcement area. They said, to make the
biggest scene you could possibly make, like scream fight as much,
because once you get in that car the chances of
you coming out of that car are, like, the statistic
(24:01):
is very low.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
I just feel like I'm living in such fear so
often recently, like I don't take the kids to target.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
We're not doing Oh friend, that's you. Come on girl,
I just don't know.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
But there's one of me and three of them.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
I know I've done it, you know, I know. But
it's also it's like the hypervigilance just wears me out.
I'm like, this is not enjoyable. Yeah, I don't know
where the middle is. But Nina says the world's still
mostly good good, and she's seen it all
Host
Jana Kramer
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