April 2, 2025 • 35 mins
Anxiety about money is one of the most common challenges people deal with in relationships, and Jana and Allan are getting a financial crash course from journalist Alison Kosik.
Jana learns a different perspective when it comes to budgeting, and Alison shares some crucial financial tips for any woman going through a divorce.
Plus, find out why Allan is swearing off alcohol and energy drinks!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Swine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
So I told you something at the start of the
week I was going to do this month, and I'm
now what this Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I'm five days
into a month with no alcohol and no energy drinks.
Do you think I'll do it as the first thing?
Do you believe in me to get through this month?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Well? Can I be honest?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yeah, this isn't the first time you've tried this.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
No, it's not.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yes, no, it's not.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
That I've put a timeline on it and said that
I'll do this for this amount of time.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Oh my guys, you did it one time. We're like,
I'm not going to drink for this amount of times.
But what I love about you is you have a
way of rationalizing your choices and decisions decision making. So, yeah, example,
if I was to maybe and again I I don't.
(01:06):
I mean, gosh, how many how many times a month
do you think I drink? Now post roman? Twice a month?
I mean maybe, yeah, sometimes maybe even only one night
a month, but I would we're taking averages, I mean, yeah,
like one and a half to two days a month.
(01:29):
So I have a feeling that if in this month,
I'm go to the store and get a bottle of
wine because we don't really keep my kind of good
wine in the fridge, and so if I was to
go get one and I had it, I feel like
you would rationalize having a glass.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
No no alcohol means nobia, no wine, no nothing. I know.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
But you you're like, well, I've done so good and
it's I've it's been a week and a half. And
because you're like it's fine, it's just I feel like
you have a good like you are good at rationalizing
why it's okay to.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Good again, why I won't mean.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah, and you rationalize it like I'm like, yeah, totally,
I totally agree with you.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
There'll be they'll come a point in the month, will
you You'll be like, oh really, Like last night you're like,
I really want to go.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I was telling Pam yesterday at softball. I'm like, and
my friend Ty who's one of my neighbor as well,
and I'm like, man, I've just been I've been kind
of craving a glass of wine. I had one in
the Bahamas and I'm just like being kind of craving it.
Just having a glass and just chilling and taking a beat.
I enjoy that piece of drinking. I don't now like
(02:43):
the consequences of how it makes me feel during the
middle I just don't sleep well and all the other
stuff that kind of goes along with it that I've noticed.
But I still do like that moment of just relaxing
and having a glass of wine. So when I was
at softball, yes I even said to pay them, I'm like,
I'm want to get a little glass of wine this weekend.
(03:04):
But then I said to you, I'm like, gosh, I'm
just like craving just a little nightcap right now.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
By all means, I will not break. I will not
break my month because I really want to see it.
The reason I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
It's about that date night I don't have it.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I really want to see how I feel at the
end of the month.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Because go ahead, No, sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I do have a thought to that, because it's another
way of that you circled around in the past, because
you're the guy.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I really didn't feel that different.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
No, but I'm thinking there's also a part of me
is doing it for Okay, let me see how I
feel it in the month, And I really actually want
to do it because I'm starting to think more about
my long term health, which is why I've added in
the energy drinks as well, because they're not again it's
another thing that holds power obvi you. So it's it's
not good to I'm trying. I'm breaking that habit, but
(03:59):
it's mostly okay. See, let's see how good I feel
it then the month. Get's not okay to do it
for a week or two weeks because you don't really
your body doesn't go through the cycles of actually trying
to heal itself and then get a truer reflection on
how you feel. So I'm mually excited to get to
the then the month and be like okay, because I
start to be a weird one because I've not felt
(04:21):
well this weekend, Like I've been really fatigued, my balls
have been sore.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
You know, you're starting to freak out. I was like,
oh no, we've just finished the White Lotus too. I
was like, did you get sympathy ball pain from the
guy from White Lotus?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
No never saw before started watching White Lotus. My right
one was about ache and then both of them got
a bit ache, and then I was sleeping like for
three for all days. I just felt like sleeping all
the time.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Maybe we should get your balls checked.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
My balls are fine, balls are fine.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Well, you don't know because I'm really proud of you, though,
I will say that because I'm constantly riding you, being like, babe,
please take care of yourself and you do you work out, But.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
It's I don't need cheese, Okay, I'm just saying I
go to bed, Eli, yes, because you wake up so early.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
You know. I don't wake up Ellie. I get up
be productive. I would rather be lying in bed with
my beautiful wife seven in the morning. But my brain's
taken out. It's stuff to do, and that quiet hours
between five and seven, I get quite a lot down.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Yeah, but I bet I'm proud of you because I
just I really want you to stay around for as
long as I can have you.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
That's my fiftive bus stop. I'm joking.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
But do you think after the month you'll cut back
on how much you do drink during the week? You
did a thing back in the day, it was like
two and two.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah, it's tough.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Why you feel like you're like all or nothing with
drinking where.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
It's like I'm all nothing with everything. That's half my problem.
I've got composed of oh disalt.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
So do you think it's like a problem.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
No, Like I think another another reason I'm doing it
is because I'm so busy at the won't like I'm
just going from one thing to the next, to the
next to the next, pretty much like this is the
first time we've sat down with each other and looked
at each other in the eyes this week and had
a proper conversation. If we're not in.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Bed, yeah, oh and better we just watched We're just
watching White Lost.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah. But part of it is like, Okay, you're going
to be so busy, you need to be so focused
your mind switched and from switching from podcasting to clinics
to app to all the other stuff that goes on
in the house. And I need you really viy wear
in whatever. It's the need to be really focused. So
(06:52):
even the two drinks. We've discussed this before. The two
drinks makes you feel sluggish, yeah, and it makes you
want to stay in bed for twenty minutes longer, which
affects the start of your day, which affects the rest
of your day. So I'm just I'm honestly, I'm I'm
painting over it. I'm like, just try it from one
with that gullanty. I feel amazing at the end of
the month.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I'm really proud of you.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Because I do feel like I do feel like that
two and two is it's tough because or you'd be
like just on weekends. And this is a really big
problem that I've talked to Jason Waller about who's a
work covering alcoholic and not comparing you to Jason, but
I'm just saying a lot of adults in their forties
(07:38):
on they're like binge drink, so they just drink, okay,
thirties on they binge drinking. Is they think it's okay,
I don't drink during the week I'm not an alcoholic,
but then you just binge on the weekends and you
drink so much that you're that it's not good too.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
So that's that's what he was saying.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, like binge.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Drinking is actually the problem is it's people making them
feel better about not drinking during the week but then
they just drink so much on the weekends.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
That's where but.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I couldn't get to a point. Now we're so busy
with the kids and life and careers. I could not
binge drink the way I used to bring drink. I
couldn't have loads and loads of alcohol and then function. Actually,
when's the last time I had loads to drink Ali
Bahamas and then before that, I don't even know like loads.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I think it's just the everyday thing.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
So it's like if you can't just do one or
two days in a week or one every other week,
then I think that's where I don't drink every day,
and that's I know I did before before Roman and
after my divorce, and.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Listen, I think it's it's a longevity and lifestyle change
that I'm trying to make. Beca's got God knows energy
drinks are so bad for.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
You as well, so is drinking soda or pop. You know,
my Michugan girl heart just got so disappointed in the
fact I just said soda.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
But yeah, I feel like, yeah, we do.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Like that's that's a little better because it's Stevia, but
it's there's nothing. Listen, do what you want to do,
and we're not trying to. But for me, what I've
noticed is I've cut back, not because I don't have
my wine deal, anymore my wine brand. But because I
don't like the way that I feel, I don't sleep good,
I have anxiety. It's affecting my gut, and I feel
(09:34):
the best when I don't drink. Not saying I'm not
going to never, but you.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Know you're never going to drink with me this month.
That's socio.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Let's see.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
I feel like I kind of be like, babe, if
you want a glass their date night, which I kind
of love because you on date nights, You'll be like,
you're not going to have a glass.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I'm like, no, I'm good, And so now it's going.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
To be.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
I don't maybe, but I think it's the company you
keep to, you know me. Not drinking helps you not drink. Yeah,
so if I was drinking, you'd probably want to drink.
It's something that we do together. But let's switch gears
from drinking to money. We've got a guest on who
(10:20):
wrote a book called What's Up with Women and Money?
How to do all the financial stuff you've been avoiding.
Let's get Alison on.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Hi, how are you, dude?
Speaker 4 (10:41):
What's up?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Do you have an energy drink problem too? Because we
were just talking about that.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Oh my god, I wouldn't touch those as a ten
foot pole. I wouldn't able to get to sleep.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Well, Alison will just jump right in and chat money
first and foremost, How did you get into money?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
The money business of everything, the.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Money business of everything? You know what I fell into it?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Financial? Would it be financial advising or oh.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
No, I'm nowhere near certified financialkare. I was a business
correspondent and anchor at CNN fifteen years and I learned
on the job, is what I did. And you know,
I was able to talk about market movements and the
macro economy and world economy, et cetera, et cetera. But
in my own life I wasn't involved in my own
(11:30):
personal finances. I very well understood how to invest, meaning
I you know, I did most of my job out
of the New York Stock Exchange. You know, I got
it here, But in my heart, I just didn't want
to be involved in my personal finances, which was not
a good idea.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
And then I saw and read that you were not
involved with your marriage finances either, and that he had
Are you still in that marriage or are you not
in that marriage?
Speaker 4 (11:58):
No? No, got we divorced. That's the thing, is I
let my husband handle all of the financial stuff, so
you know, buying a car and investing and the mortgage
and refinancing the mortgage and all of that. I let
him do it because the whole thought of it overwhelmed me.
And so that's the irony of the whole thing is
I'd be reporting about this stuff, but in my own life,
(12:21):
I didn't want to take the plunge. But to be
fair and to be clear to myself take you know,
investing your own personal money is very different than reporting
on and being a journalist about market movements and the economy.
I mean, when my marriage started to go bad, that's
when I realized letting my husband handle all the financial
(12:42):
stuff was a was one of the biggest mistakes of
my life because I had to stay in the marriage
years longer than I should have because I felt stuck.
I had two kids under the age of ten at
the time. You know, what if I lost all our
money and you know, because I made a mistake. So
it was it was a confidence issue. It's something that
I found out a lot of women have.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Yeah, I mean there's I'm also divorced, and you know,
there was a piece a lot of women say that
you know, they wish they could leave, they don't have
the means, or they're afraid, and uh, I mean one
of the one of this is actually really sad to
admit this, but one of the reasons I stayed, you know,
(13:23):
for longer than I should. Yes, the kids and everything else,
but I didn't want to lose because I was the
I made the money in the marriage, and so I
knew he was going to go after it because we
didn't have a prenup, and so I was scared that
he which he ended up taking. But you know, it
was one of those where I was I didn't want
to lose the money that I worked for and that
(13:46):
he would take it all.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
And you're a new marriage. Did you get a prenup?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
You know, we've never discussed that publicly, and we as
one of the things that we were going to keep
a private, but I did have a lot of people.
We had conversations around it. He had his is I'll
let you express your thoughts on a prenup.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
My thoughts on a prenup? Ah, I mean nothing.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
You didn't love the topic of it.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
That right from both sides.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah, same. I hated I hated the bringing the conversation.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Because it's putting an ending on something that you haven't
even begun yet.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
That yes, you're discussing failure before you've even started. Which yeah,
it's it's never an easy thing to the raison I'll
talk about and even execute. Mm hmm. So we've we've
had that certain way that we can keep to ourselves.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yeah, And I think at the end of the day,
you said, you know you would if you know, and so,
but I it's I would tell anyone to get one
knowing what I And that was always what I said
to him. I'm like, I don't think you're my ex.
That's He's like, I'm not your acts. I'm like, I
know you're not. I said, but you know, at the
(15:03):
end of the day, when people get divorced, you hate
each other. So at the end of the day, I'm
not getting divorced to the love of mine like you will.
We could hate each other, you know, and then you'll
So that's it's just protection, like health insurance. That's what
my lawyer always said, it's like getting health insurance.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I think it's also because but both like I lost
a lot of money in my divorce my last marriage.
You've lost a lot of money in your your previous one,
so it's a it's a prety harndous subject.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
What Alison, obviously you're pro Did you have one with
your marriage?
Speaker 4 (15:38):
No? I did not have a prenup, but I learned
about the things that I should have done while getting
a divorce. I rushed through it. I just was like,
I just want to tidy it up and get it
out of the way, get back to some normalcy, make
sure my kids are good, most important, and that's really
all I cared about. But I learned rushing through a
(15:58):
divorce is probably not the bit the best thing. I
probably got the short end of the stick, but I
wanted it to be amicable. I didn't want it to
get down and dirty. It wasn't my thing. And I
lost out on some money that I should have probably gotten.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
But you know what's interesting is so did my best
friend literally said that too. She goes if I could
go back, She's like, I just wanted it to be
done and get out, but she as well lost out
on properties and other money. And do you think that
if you could go back now, would you tell women
to not just you know, fast forward to the end.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
Oh, absolutely, I would say take your time. I mean,
it doesn't mean you can't be amicable. You could take
your time and be amicable. It is possible, and I
should have seen that. I would have also probably understood
the spending requirements in my household more. I would have
understood the life, the lifestyle costs that were you know,
that were happening. I would have understood all the bills,
(16:57):
meaning full visibility over every because like just for instance,
I live in a home where there's it's a homeowners
association attached to it. That's a lot of money every
month and that was not factored into any of the
child support, and part of the child support is taking
care of the kids, and I would assume the house,
(17:19):
although maybe lawyers would think that the house is separate.
But it's a lot of money. Let's just put it
an year after year after year, while the ex husband
is paying child support but not paying part of those homeowners' fees.
At least it adds up. So I would definitely suggest
having full visibility over everything. And that's actually where budgeting
(17:42):
comes into play, is why and when you budget, And
I recommend writing it out. It sounds tedious and awful,
but that's the point is that you think about everything
that you that the outgoing money is for, and you
write everything down and you see it, and you're able
to you know, use that in your discussions with your
lawyer for you know, as you get your divorce. You know,
(18:05):
that's the one thing that I would suggest.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, So if that's what is the main thing, the
most powerful message for for women and divorce, what's your
number one powerful financial tip for them?
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Make sure you've got make sure you've got some available credit.
You've got to have a credit card in your name.
Make sure that you're you know, you want to make
sure you want to kind of try to if you know,
if you know you're going down that road, you've got
to build up your credit score, just as a proverbial plan,
be just in case you need to take out a
loan or something like that.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
It's a really good point.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
Make sure you have accessed the cash in your own
name so you can pay your attorney and cover expenses
if there's a chance that your husband were to just
cut you off, and I would reassess your insurance coverage
once you are divorced. Make sure each person has adequate
insurance coverage. I'm talking about health and life insurance, especially
(19:06):
if kids are involved. Yeah, those are the biggies with divorce,
I would.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Say, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
So was there a defining point where you're like, Okay,
I've learned a lot from my job as a correspond
financial correspondent. I've been through divorce where I had no
control of the finances. What was the king that define
the moment where you're like, I'm going to tell this
and help people.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
It was it was the things that happened after the
divorce where I made mistakes that made me realize, this
is eft up. There's so much that I don't know
that I'm just diving into one thing that comes to mind.
I had to turn in my least car, and I
made huge mistakes from the moment I walked into the
car dealership and I thought, if I would know a
(19:50):
way just to buy a car with confidence, I want
to know that way. And there was nothing out there
that spoke to me. There was these huge volumes of
books and it's like it's too much information. So I
decided and based on not just that, but you know
all the other things that I went through about trying
to figure out the finances, is if there's one place
I can go to that not just gave me the
(20:12):
tips and the tools, but also explain why I am
able to do these things on my own and I
can have the confidence to do these things. I would
have read that in a heartbeat, and so I didn't
see anything out there, So I wrote the book that
I needed.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
What is your tip for getting walking onto the car lot?
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Say as little as possible, And you don't have to
walk onto the car lot as All you have to
do is stay at home for probably ninety percent of
the work, and you negotiate off each car dealership on
your email and maybe a little bit on the phone.
But you're negotiating over email. It winds up being a
lot of work, but it also means that you're going
(20:50):
to get probably a more a fairer deal than if
you would have walked onto the car dealership lot.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Huh who now?
Speaker 4 (20:58):
But I mean think about the people do this for
a living. They do it every day. You know, you
and I go buy a car for what every three years?
Couple of years years? Yeah, I mean we'll do it
every day. We don't know the ins and out, so
they are experts at it. We aren't. So they've got
the upper hand. So how do you get that upper
hand back? You negotiate, not face to face but via email,
and you literally negotiate one car dealership off another. It's possible.
(21:24):
I promise to know.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
My lease is up in next year, so I'm going
to be in the in the business of trying to
I'll read chapter seven because that's how to buy a
car with confidence without getting ripped off step by step.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I will be on chapter seven.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
But it's so really and they always say the best,
the best advice in life is always the most simple advice.
But something like that is it's so simple but overlooked
and so important. Look for a woman who's gone through
that traumatic experience with divorce. Okay, now I need to
get a car. No, I need to get a credit card.
Now I need to build credit. Like it's not you
(21:59):
don't even think these things. To have a step by
step gate on how to do it is it's pretty powerful.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
Yeah. One other thing as well, if you're you know,
for women who are married and lucky for them, if
they got a husband who can pay for everything and
they don't have to work and they can just take
care of the kids, I implore you talking to women,
keep your toe in the water as far as your
career goes. Don't just completely step out of it. You've
got to stay in it just a little bit, you know,
(22:27):
because you know life is great now, it's blissfully happy,
but you know life can turn on a dime, and
you you know forever isn't guaranteed, and you have to
always plan for that plan b and I spoke to
many women in this book. I did lots of interviews,
the cautionary tales in their own words, and these women
(22:47):
who whose husbands you know, were taking care of them
and that's great, but then they died and they didn't
have a career. And guess what, he didn't leave enough
in his life insurance policy for the family. And she
didn't realize that until after he was gone, and so
she had to somehow claw her way back into, you know,
(23:08):
being a working mom when it's been seven years since
she's been working, and it's hard, it's really hard. So
if you just sort of stay in the mix as
best as you can, even just a little bit, that's
my suggestion.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
That's a good I like that. In chapter two, it's
where the f is my money going? What do you
think women spend, like, where do you think we're not
(23:43):
good spenders?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
And where our money is going?
Speaker 4 (23:47):
Well, I don't want to stereotype in generalize and I
don't want to do like injections.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Botox is after meaning.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
I mean it could be anything. I mean, if you're
scrolling through Instagram and these ads come out, you've bought
some pool makeup. I mean, how easy to just a
couple of clips and you're going to buy something. But
that kind of thing can add up. And that's the
whole point of budgeting is that you can budget. Budgeting
is saying where your money, where you want your money
to go to. So you get your paycheck and some
of it goes to your bills, and some of it
(24:15):
goes to hopefully your emergency fund and your investments, and
you you know, you allot some for the fun stuff.
And if you only have a finite amount of money
for the fun stuff, maybe you should think twice about
that makeup purchase or or that extra shadow budgtos or something.
So you know, that's the point of budgeting.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
What's the percentage of the money that you make should
be play money?
Speaker 4 (24:38):
I mean, it depends on how much money you have
coming in and what your bills are. There are different scenarios,
and you should you should create a budget that you
could actually handle, because if you can't, if you can't
live by sort of the rules that you've created yourself,
the whole budget goes out the window. I have different
scenarios in the book. It just really depends on how
(24:58):
much how much money you have coming in and what
your bills are, and also how much jet you're caring.
If you're carrying a ton of credit card debt, you've
got to tackle that sooner rather than later, especially with
interest rates so high.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Speaking of the interest rates, if this hypothetical question, would
you have someone pay down their mortgage or let's just say,
use that money to put in a sport court in
their backyard?
Speaker 4 (25:27):
And are you talking about you?
Speaker 1 (25:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
I'm just because I just had a call with my
business manager, and you know, he's like, hey, He's like,
I think, you know, we've got some money over over
here that we can put and you know, start paying
down you know right now you're just having interest in
all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
And I'm like, yeah, I know.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Okay, but like I also really I we don't do
I mean, it'd be really nice to. We've been dreaming
up having this little tennis slash pickleball court on the
side of the house, and so we've just been chatting
about that. I was like, Kevin, maybe I could do
this to use that. And I was like, because I
could die tomorrow, and like, who would care that my
(26:06):
mortgage rate was down?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
You know, like, well, I.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Mean if you have a lower mortgage rate, I would say,
I wouldn't know.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
It's quite high. Unfortunately, I buy it a real bad time.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Oh maybe maybe think are you looking to stay in
the house longer? Yeah, right, maybe look at when the
I mean, if if interest rates are lower now I'll
believe it or not, if they fit there that high,
If it's lower than what you signed at, I would say, refinance.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Okay, and then do the sport cork gab it.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Well, you only live once, right exactly. I know.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I think I think you have to have balance because
Alan you know, I come from a very I say
this a lot, but I don't. I have a really
hard time spending money. You know, I take any free
vacation we can get. I mean, I'm like, I you know,
I don't buy expensive stuff. I've got like one or
two nice handbags. You know, I'd drive a very chill car.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
You've got to scarcity mindset.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
I have very scarcity mindset. Mom was single.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Mom, I didn't have money until my thirties, so this
is all new to me. So I hold it on
unless it's for my kids and the family, unless it's
like a family vacation or something like a sport court
for everyone.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I would never do that.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Are you going to have fun on the sport court too?
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Then you know what you guys should? I say, go
for it if you can handle it.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, we throw a quality of life and enjoying the
fruits of your labor as also. There's a balance with
that and it's important.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
And then maybe Ellen, that's what you're for to show
her that it's okay to enjoy the money, the fruits
of your labor, the money that you're earning.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Well, he always is like he tries to calm me
down because I stress a lot.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
But when you don't need to.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
But you know again, it's you know, I it's I
say this again a lot, but it's there's a lot.
My work is so up and down. I never know
when things are coming in. And then you know, having
to pay child support and this, that and the other.
So it's just a lot.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Yeah, I'm sure it is. So do you do you budget?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I just don't buy anything. Oh that's my budget.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
But the point that will be, only buy it if
we need to.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Yeah, it's like Amazon, Okay, do.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
We need this, Yeah, let's buy it. So it's more necessity.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
I couldn't tell you the last thing that I bought, truly.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
I bought a knife to cut the gem mutts last
night at forty dollars.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
That sounds like a necessity to me.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Alison, what is one thing that you want women to
know about money?
Speaker 4 (28:39):
The one thing I want women to know about money
is you've got to be involved in your money. Don't
just ponnd it off to somebody else, maybe a husband,
a significant other. Don't avoid it because you are fearful
of it, because it's always going to be there. And
when I say get involved, I mean have full visibility
about how much money is going out and how much
(29:02):
money is coming in. If you are, if you're married
and you've got your husband investing, you've got to be
aware of what he or she is investing in. Nowhere,
you know, know about all of the financial stuff in
your house. So what assets do you have, where are
the documents for that? How much debt is your family carrying?
(29:23):
You know, what are the investments in? Where are the
checks and balances in that? That's why you need to
be involved. What are the passwords to all the accounts?
Have you looked lately at who the beneficiaries are on
your accounts? That's really important. A lot of people get
busy with life and things change and they the last
thing they think about is putting the correct beneficiaries on
their accounts. You've got to make sure. You've got to
(29:44):
look and make sure. And it's not just a one
and done thing. You should probably be looking at it
once a year.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
You have a will, right like you tell what should women?
It's a have a have a will family will, or
to have all that set up to now that we're
in our forty.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
And or an estate plan depending on you know, if
you're somebody who's like a twenty year old, I would
say you don't need an estate plan, have a will,
but have a healthcare directive. And as you get older
and accumulate assets, I would say in estate plan is
definitely necessary. And also there are tax benefits to that
as well for your kids. So it's kind of like
(30:23):
a lock box. But once you open up an estate plan,
you have to actually fill it with stuff. It's kind
of like with your It's kind of like with your
WRATH or your traditional IRA. You can open up those accounts,
but you've got to actually put investments in them, so
it kind of works the same. And just like just
like the traditional and traditional and roth iras are tax
(30:44):
advantaged accounts, having an estate plan can also be tax
advantaged as well for your family. So when you're gone,
your kids aren't stuff paying taxes on all the money
that you've earned.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Yeah, that makes sense. You obviously mentioned budgeting a couple
of times. Do you have a lot of budgeting tips
in your book as well? Out of budget and what
to put what and what?
Speaker 4 (31:06):
Oh? Yeah, and there are lots of budget choices and
I kind of made it fun. I made it so
you can choose from three types of budgets and I
liken them to shoes because who doesn't want to talk
about shoes.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Because it does it involve buying shoes? Because I was like,
I'd like a pair of shoes.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
You can make room in your budget to buy a
pair of shoes. That's the whole point of budgeting is
you can make room for Once you have like a
full view of everything, it's amazing. It's sort of like
an aha moment. A light goes on and you're like, oh,
I'm spending that much on coffee every week. And I'm
not saying take the joy out of life and you're
not allowed to buy coffee, but sure it adds up.
That could be that could be money that you put
(31:40):
in your in your wroth account every month instead, and
then and then you realize that that that's accumulating for
your future financial self, and you know, you get to
feel better about yourself.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Do you think couples should have a budget they both
stick to or should it be should it be something
you talk about or be a free for all? Oh?
Speaker 4 (32:00):
I definitely don't think it should be a free for all.
Can you imagine if it's a free for all?
Speaker 3 (32:03):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
I've been in that before.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
Oh yeah, I mean I think have open communication about
what each person wants, and I think you should be
doing that before you get married, because if your money,
if your money views don't align, I mean, you may
want to think twice about whether you guys should be together.
I mean, because money is the source of many arguments
and the source of many divorces. So I think you've
(32:27):
got to at least aligne on where each of you,
you know, falls along the line of spending and saving
and investing.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I feel like we're so no and that's all I
was just gonna say, like, you are so so good
and with money, and you don't buy crazy stuff. You
used to not be I know when I but I
didn't know you then, But you are so good with
it that it doesn't make me feel like you're just
(32:58):
like you know, any money you make, you just go
blow like you're you're you put it in, and we've
got our joint, you know. So it's like it's it
feels like a partnership and I have it. I never
felt that because I used to. We set a budget
one time my axe, and he blew right past it,
you know, and and he's wukers and I'm like, why here,
(33:18):
because we did that together to set you know, because
you were spending too much and I spent nothing, and
so I was trying to make it like meet in
the middle. But we've never had an issue on money.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Fighting don't buy anything extravagant.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
I know, but I do have one small fear though,
yeah I have. I have a fear that one day
I'm going to come home and there's going to be
like a Corvette in the driveway because he's so obsessed
with cars. But I mean, hey, that makes you happy.
But then I would be that I could find myself
being like, well, I don't give myself anything, and he's
buying himself a car.
Speaker 4 (33:51):
Maybe I should just go ahead and take that vacation
after all, my right.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
But I would still reach out to a place first
and be like, can I get it for free? I
gotta try. It's the cheap girl in me, you know
what I mean, it's scavenger.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
Well, all I can suggest that if you want to
get that Corvette and then you know, talk with it,
talk with her about it first, and maybe, you know,
is show how it can fit into your budgets so
she doesn't feel like, oh my god, you just grabbed
all the money and made it just made a free
for all purchase.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
I think that's it. I think couples at least I
have that conversation. I know, no, I know almost had
a bow on it. But i'd be like, it's not
really for me, but I know what you're doing here.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
I'll get you a pink seat cover for the passenger seat.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
I don't even like pink anyways.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Well, thank you so much for coming on. I'm excited
to read your book and everyone go get what's up
with money? With women and money. It's available now how
to do all the financial stuff you've been avoiding. Thank
you so much, Alison.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
Thanks guys, nice to meet you as well.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Appreciate you big girl,
Swine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
So I told you something at the start of the
week I was going to do this month, and I'm
now what this Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I'm five days
into a month with no alcohol and no energy drinks.
Do you think I'll do it as the first thing?
Do you believe in me to get through this month?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Well? Can I be honest?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yeah, this isn't the first time you've tried this.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
No, it's not.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yes, no, it's not.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
That I've put a timeline on it and said that
I'll do this for this amount of time.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Oh my guys, you did it one time. We're like,
I'm not going to drink for this amount of times.
But what I love about you is you have a
way of rationalizing your choices and decisions decision making. So, yeah, example,
if I was to maybe and again I I don't.
(01:06):
I mean, gosh, how many how many times a month
do you think I drink? Now post roman? Twice a month?
I mean maybe, yeah, sometimes maybe even only one night
a month, but I would we're taking averages, I mean, yeah,
like one and a half to two days a month.
(01:29):
So I have a feeling that if in this month,
I'm go to the store and get a bottle of
wine because we don't really keep my kind of good
wine in the fridge, and so if I was to
go get one and I had it, I feel like
you would rationalize having a glass.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
No no alcohol means nobia, no wine, no nothing. I know.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
But you you're like, well, I've done so good and
it's I've it's been a week and a half. And
because you're like it's fine, it's just I feel like
you have a good like you are good at rationalizing
why it's okay to.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Good again, why I won't mean.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah, and you rationalize it like I'm like, yeah, totally,
I totally agree with you.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
There'll be they'll come a point in the month, will
you You'll be like, oh really, Like last night you're like,
I really want to go.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I was telling Pam yesterday at softball. I'm like, and
my friend Ty who's one of my neighbor as well,
and I'm like, man, I've just been I've been kind
of craving a glass of wine. I had one in
the Bahamas and I'm just like being kind of craving it.
Just having a glass and just chilling and taking a beat.
I enjoy that piece of drinking. I don't now like
(02:43):
the consequences of how it makes me feel during the
middle I just don't sleep well and all the other
stuff that kind of goes along with it that I've noticed.
But I still do like that moment of just relaxing
and having a glass of wine. So when I was
at softball, yes I even said to pay them, I'm like,
I'm want to get a little glass of wine this weekend.
(03:04):
But then I said to you, I'm like, gosh, I'm
just like craving just a little nightcap right now.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
By all means, I will not break. I will not
break my month because I really want to see it.
The reason I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
It's about that date night I don't have it.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I really want to see how I feel at the
end of the month.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Because go ahead, No, sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I do have a thought to that, because it's another
way of that you circled around in the past, because
you're the guy.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I really didn't feel that different.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
No, but I'm thinking there's also a part of me
is doing it for Okay, let me see how I
feel it in the month, And I really actually want
to do it because I'm starting to think more about
my long term health, which is why I've added in
the energy drinks as well, because they're not again it's
another thing that holds power obvi you. So it's it's
not good to I'm trying. I'm breaking that habit, but
(03:59):
it's mostly okay. See, let's see how good I feel
it then the month. Get's not okay to do it
for a week or two weeks because you don't really
your body doesn't go through the cycles of actually trying
to heal itself and then get a truer reflection on
how you feel. So I'm mually excited to get to
the then the month and be like okay, because I
start to be a weird one because I've not felt
(04:21):
well this weekend, Like I've been really fatigued, my balls
have been sore.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
You know, you're starting to freak out. I was like,
oh no, we've just finished the White Lotus too. I
was like, did you get sympathy ball pain from the
guy from White Lotus?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
No never saw before started watching White Lotus. My right
one was about ache and then both of them got
a bit ache, and then I was sleeping like for
three for all days. I just felt like sleeping all
the time.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Maybe we should get your balls checked.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
My balls are fine, balls are fine.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Well, you don't know because I'm really proud of you, though,
I will say that because I'm constantly riding you, being like, babe,
please take care of yourself and you do you work out, But.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
It's I don't need cheese, Okay, I'm just saying I
go to bed, Eli, yes, because you wake up so early.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
You know. I don't wake up Ellie. I get up
be productive. I would rather be lying in bed with
my beautiful wife seven in the morning. But my brain's
taken out. It's stuff to do, and that quiet hours
between five and seven, I get quite a lot down.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Yeah, but I bet I'm proud of you because I
just I really want you to stay around for as
long as I can have you.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
That's my fiftive bus stop. I'm joking.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
But do you think after the month you'll cut back
on how much you do drink during the week? You
did a thing back in the day, it was like
two and two.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah, it's tough.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Why you feel like you're like all or nothing with
drinking where.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
It's like I'm all nothing with everything. That's half my problem.
I've got composed of oh disalt.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
So do you think it's like a problem.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
No, Like I think another another reason I'm doing it
is because I'm so busy at the won't like I'm
just going from one thing to the next, to the
next to the next, pretty much like this is the
first time we've sat down with each other and looked
at each other in the eyes this week and had
a proper conversation. If we're not in.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Bed, yeah, oh and better we just watched We're just
watching White Lost.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah. But part of it is like, Okay, you're going
to be so busy, you need to be so focused
your mind switched and from switching from podcasting to clinics
to app to all the other stuff that goes on
in the house. And I need you really viy wear
in whatever. It's the need to be really focused. So
(06:52):
even the two drinks. We've discussed this before. The two
drinks makes you feel sluggish, yeah, and it makes you
want to stay in bed for twenty minutes longer, which
affects the start of your day, which affects the rest
of your day. So I'm just I'm honestly, I'm I'm
painting over it. I'm like, just try it from one
with that gullanty. I feel amazing at the end of
the month.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I'm really proud of you.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Because I do feel like I do feel like that
two and two is it's tough because or you'd be
like just on weekends. And this is a really big
problem that I've talked to Jason Waller about who's a
work covering alcoholic and not comparing you to Jason, but
I'm just saying a lot of adults in their forties
(07:38):
on they're like binge drink, so they just drink, okay,
thirties on they binge drinking. Is they think it's okay,
I don't drink during the week I'm not an alcoholic,
but then you just binge on the weekends and you
drink so much that you're that it's not good too.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
So that's that's what he was saying.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, like binge.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Drinking is actually the problem is it's people making them
feel better about not drinking during the week but then
they just drink so much on the weekends.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
That's where but.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I couldn't get to a point. Now we're so busy
with the kids and life and careers. I could not
binge drink the way I used to bring drink. I
couldn't have loads and loads of alcohol and then function. Actually,
when's the last time I had loads to drink Ali
Bahamas and then before that, I don't even know like loads.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I think it's just the everyday thing.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
So it's like if you can't just do one or
two days in a week or one every other week,
then I think that's where I don't drink every day,
and that's I know I did before before Roman and
after my divorce, and.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Listen, I think it's it's a longevity and lifestyle change
that I'm trying to make. Beca's got God knows energy
drinks are so bad for.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
You as well, so is drinking soda or pop. You know,
my Michugan girl heart just got so disappointed in the
fact I just said soda.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
But yeah, I feel like, yeah, we do.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Like that's that's a little better because it's Stevia, but
it's there's nothing. Listen, do what you want to do,
and we're not trying to. But for me, what I've
noticed is I've cut back, not because I don't have
my wine deal, anymore my wine brand. But because I
don't like the way that I feel, I don't sleep good,
I have anxiety. It's affecting my gut, and I feel
(09:34):
the best when I don't drink. Not saying I'm not
going to never, but you.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Know you're never going to drink with me this month.
That's socio.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Let's see.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
I feel like I kind of be like, babe, if
you want a glass their date night, which I kind
of love because you on date nights, You'll be like,
you're not going to have a glass.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I'm like, no, I'm good, And so now it's going.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
To be.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
I don't maybe, but I think it's the company you
keep to, you know me. Not drinking helps you not drink. Yeah,
so if I was drinking, you'd probably want to drink.
It's something that we do together. But let's switch gears
from drinking to money. We've got a guest on who
(10:20):
wrote a book called What's Up with Women and Money?
How to do all the financial stuff you've been avoiding.
Let's get Alison on.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Hi, how are you, dude?
Speaker 4 (10:41):
What's up?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Do you have an energy drink problem too? Because we
were just talking about that.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Oh my god, I wouldn't touch those as a ten
foot pole. I wouldn't able to get to sleep.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Well, Alison will just jump right in and chat money
first and foremost, How did you get into money?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
The money business of everything, the.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Money business of everything? You know what I fell into it?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Financial? Would it be financial advising or oh.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
No, I'm nowhere near certified financialkare. I was a business
correspondent and anchor at CNN fifteen years and I learned
on the job, is what I did. And you know,
I was able to talk about market movements and the
macro economy and world economy, et cetera, et cetera. But
in my own life I wasn't involved in my own
(11:30):
personal finances. I very well understood how to invest, meaning
I you know, I did most of my job out
of the New York Stock Exchange. You know, I got
it here, But in my heart, I just didn't want
to be involved in my personal finances, which was not
a good idea.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
And then I saw and read that you were not
involved with your marriage finances either, and that he had
Are you still in that marriage or are you not
in that marriage?
Speaker 4 (11:58):
No? No, got we divorced. That's the thing, is I
let my husband handle all of the financial stuff, so
you know, buying a car and investing and the mortgage
and refinancing the mortgage and all of that. I let
him do it because the whole thought of it overwhelmed me.
And so that's the irony of the whole thing is
I'd be reporting about this stuff, but in my own life,
(12:21):
I didn't want to take the plunge. But to be
fair and to be clear to myself take you know,
investing your own personal money is very different than reporting
on and being a journalist about market movements and the economy.
I mean, when my marriage started to go bad, that's
when I realized letting my husband handle all the financial
(12:42):
stuff was a was one of the biggest mistakes of
my life because I had to stay in the marriage
years longer than I should have because I felt stuck.
I had two kids under the age of ten at
the time. You know, what if I lost all our
money and you know, because I made a mistake. So
it was it was a confidence issue. It's something that
I found out a lot of women have.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Yeah, I mean there's I'm also divorced, and you know,
there was a piece a lot of women say that
you know, they wish they could leave, they don't have
the means, or they're afraid, and uh, I mean one
of the one of this is actually really sad to
admit this, but one of the reasons I stayed, you know,
(13:23):
for longer than I should. Yes, the kids and everything else,
but I didn't want to lose because I was the
I made the money in the marriage, and so I
knew he was going to go after it because we
didn't have a prenup, and so I was scared that
he which he ended up taking. But you know, it
was one of those where I was I didn't want
to lose the money that I worked for and that
(13:46):
he would take it all.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
And you're a new marriage. Did you get a prenup?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
You know, we've never discussed that publicly, and we as
one of the things that we were going to keep
a private, but I did have a lot of people.
We had conversations around it. He had his is I'll
let you express your thoughts on a prenup.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
My thoughts on a prenup? Ah, I mean nothing.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
You didn't love the topic of it.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
That right from both sides.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah, same. I hated I hated the bringing the conversation.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Because it's putting an ending on something that you haven't
even begun yet.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
That yes, you're discussing failure before you've even started. Which yeah,
it's it's never an easy thing to the raison I'll
talk about and even execute. Mm hmm. So we've we've
had that certain way that we can keep to ourselves.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yeah, And I think at the end of the day,
you said, you know you would if you know, and so,
but I it's I would tell anyone to get one
knowing what I And that was always what I said
to him. I'm like, I don't think you're my ex.
That's He's like, I'm not your acts. I'm like, I
know you're not. I said, but you know, at the
(15:03):
end of the day, when people get divorced, you hate
each other. So at the end of the day, I'm
not getting divorced to the love of mine like you will.
We could hate each other, you know, and then you'll
So that's it's just protection, like health insurance. That's what
my lawyer always said, it's like getting health insurance.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I think it's also because but both like I lost
a lot of money in my divorce my last marriage.
You've lost a lot of money in your your previous one,
so it's a it's a prety harndous subject.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
What Alison, obviously you're pro Did you have one with
your marriage?
Speaker 4 (15:38):
No? I did not have a prenup, but I learned
about the things that I should have done while getting
a divorce. I rushed through it. I just was like,
I just want to tidy it up and get it
out of the way, get back to some normalcy, make
sure my kids are good, most important, and that's really
all I cared about. But I learned rushing through a
(15:58):
divorce is probably not the bit the best thing. I
probably got the short end of the stick, but I
wanted it to be amicable. I didn't want it to
get down and dirty. It wasn't my thing. And I
lost out on some money that I should have probably gotten.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
But you know what's interesting is so did my best
friend literally said that too. She goes if I could
go back, She's like, I just wanted it to be
done and get out, but she as well lost out
on properties and other money. And do you think that
if you could go back now, would you tell women
to not just you know, fast forward to the end.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
Oh, absolutely, I would say take your time. I mean,
it doesn't mean you can't be amicable. You could take
your time and be amicable. It is possible, and I
should have seen that. I would have also probably understood
the spending requirements in my household more. I would have
understood the life, the lifestyle costs that were you know,
that were happening. I would have understood all the bills,
(16:57):
meaning full visibility over every because like just for instance,
I live in a home where there's it's a homeowners
association attached to it. That's a lot of money every
month and that was not factored into any of the
child support, and part of the child support is taking
care of the kids, and I would assume the house,
(17:19):
although maybe lawyers would think that the house is separate.
But it's a lot of money. Let's just put it
an year after year after year, while the ex husband
is paying child support but not paying part of those homeowners' fees.
At least it adds up. So I would definitely suggest
having full visibility over everything. And that's actually where budgeting
(17:42):
comes into play, is why and when you budget, And
I recommend writing it out. It sounds tedious and awful,
but that's the point is that you think about everything
that you that the outgoing money is for, and you
write everything down and you see it, and you're able
to you know, use that in your discussions with your
lawyer for you know, as you get your divorce. You know,
(18:05):
that's the one thing that I would suggest.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, So if that's what is the main thing, the
most powerful message for for women and divorce, what's your
number one powerful financial tip for them?
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Make sure you've got make sure you've got some available credit.
You've got to have a credit card in your name.
Make sure that you're you know, you want to make
sure you want to kind of try to if you know,
if you know you're going down that road, you've got
to build up your credit score, just as a proverbial plan,
be just in case you need to take out a
loan or something like that.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
It's a really good point.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
Make sure you have accessed the cash in your own
name so you can pay your attorney and cover expenses
if there's a chance that your husband were to just
cut you off, and I would reassess your insurance coverage
once you are divorced. Make sure each person has adequate
insurance coverage. I'm talking about health and life insurance, especially
(19:06):
if kids are involved. Yeah, those are the biggies with divorce,
I would.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Say, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
So was there a defining point where you're like, Okay,
I've learned a lot from my job as a correspond
financial correspondent. I've been through divorce where I had no
control of the finances. What was the king that define
the moment where you're like, I'm going to tell this
and help people.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
It was it was the things that happened after the
divorce where I made mistakes that made me realize, this
is eft up. There's so much that I don't know
that I'm just diving into one thing that comes to mind.
I had to turn in my least car, and I
made huge mistakes from the moment I walked into the
car dealership and I thought, if I would know a
(19:50):
way just to buy a car with confidence, I want
to know that way. And there was nothing out there
that spoke to me. There was these huge volumes of
books and it's like it's too much information. So I
decided and based on not just that, but you know
all the other things that I went through about trying
to figure out the finances, is if there's one place
I can go to that not just gave me the
(20:12):
tips and the tools, but also explain why I am
able to do these things on my own and I
can have the confidence to do these things. I would
have read that in a heartbeat, and so I didn't
see anything out there, So I wrote the book that
I needed.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
What is your tip for getting walking onto the car lot?
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Say as little as possible, And you don't have to
walk onto the car lot as All you have to
do is stay at home for probably ninety percent of
the work, and you negotiate off each car dealership on
your email and maybe a little bit on the phone.
But you're negotiating over email. It winds up being a
lot of work, but it also means that you're going
(20:50):
to get probably a more a fairer deal than if
you would have walked onto the car dealership lot.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Huh who now?
Speaker 4 (20:58):
But I mean think about the people do this for
a living. They do it every day. You know, you
and I go buy a car for what every three years?
Couple of years years? Yeah, I mean we'll do it
every day. We don't know the ins and out, so
they are experts at it. We aren't. So they've got
the upper hand. So how do you get that upper
hand back? You negotiate, not face to face but via email,
and you literally negotiate one car dealership off another. It's possible.
(21:24):
I promise to know.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
My lease is up in next year, so I'm going
to be in the in the business of trying to
I'll read chapter seven because that's how to buy a
car with confidence without getting ripped off step by step.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I will be on chapter seven.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
But it's so really and they always say the best,
the best advice in life is always the most simple advice.
But something like that is it's so simple but overlooked
and so important. Look for a woman who's gone through
that traumatic experience with divorce. Okay, now I need to
get a car. No, I need to get a credit card.
Now I need to build credit. Like it's not you
(21:59):
don't even think these things. To have a step by
step gate on how to do it is it's pretty powerful.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
Yeah. One other thing as well, if you're you know,
for women who are married and lucky for them, if
they got a husband who can pay for everything and
they don't have to work and they can just take
care of the kids, I implore you talking to women,
keep your toe in the water as far as your
career goes. Don't just completely step out of it. You've
got to stay in it just a little bit, you know,
(22:27):
because you know life is great now, it's blissfully happy,
but you know life can turn on a dime, and
you you know forever isn't guaranteed, and you have to
always plan for that plan b and I spoke to
many women in this book. I did lots of interviews,
the cautionary tales in their own words, and these women
(22:47):
who whose husbands you know, were taking care of them
and that's great, but then they died and they didn't
have a career. And guess what, he didn't leave enough
in his life insurance policy for the family. And she
didn't realize that until after he was gone, and so
she had to somehow claw her way back into, you know,
(23:08):
being a working mom when it's been seven years since
she's been working, and it's hard, it's really hard. So
if you just sort of stay in the mix as
best as you can, even just a little bit, that's
my suggestion.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
That's a good I like that. In chapter two, it's
where the f is my money going? What do you
think women spend, like, where do you think we're not
(23:43):
good spenders?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
And where our money is going?
Speaker 4 (23:47):
Well, I don't want to stereotype in generalize and I
don't want to do like injections.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Botox is after meaning.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
I mean it could be anything. I mean, if you're
scrolling through Instagram and these ads come out, you've bought
some pool makeup. I mean, how easy to just a
couple of clips and you're going to buy something. But
that kind of thing can add up. And that's the
whole point of budgeting is that you can budget. Budgeting
is saying where your money, where you want your money
to go to. So you get your paycheck and some
of it goes to your bills, and some of it
(24:15):
goes to hopefully your emergency fund and your investments, and
you you know, you allot some for the fun stuff.
And if you only have a finite amount of money
for the fun stuff, maybe you should think twice about
that makeup purchase or or that extra shadow budgtos or something.
So you know, that's the point of budgeting.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
What's the percentage of the money that you make should
be play money?
Speaker 4 (24:38):
I mean, it depends on how much money you have
coming in and what your bills are. There are different scenarios,
and you should you should create a budget that you
could actually handle, because if you can't, if you can't
live by sort of the rules that you've created yourself,
the whole budget goes out the window. I have different
scenarios in the book. It just really depends on how
(24:58):
much how much money you have coming in and what
your bills are, and also how much jet you're caring.
If you're carrying a ton of credit card debt, you've
got to tackle that sooner rather than later, especially with
interest rates so high.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Speaking of the interest rates, if this hypothetical question, would
you have someone pay down their mortgage or let's just say,
use that money to put in a sport court in
their backyard?
Speaker 4 (25:27):
And are you talking about you?
Speaker 1 (25:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
I'm just because I just had a call with my
business manager, and you know, he's like, hey, He's like,
I think, you know, we've got some money over over
here that we can put and you know, start paying
down you know right now you're just having interest in
all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
And I'm like, yeah, I know.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Okay, but like I also really I we don't do
I mean, it'd be really nice to. We've been dreaming
up having this little tennis slash pickleball court on the
side of the house, and so we've just been chatting
about that. I was like, Kevin, maybe I could do
this to use that. And I was like, because I
could die tomorrow, and like, who would care that my
(26:06):
mortgage rate was down?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
You know, like, well, I.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Mean if you have a lower mortgage rate, I would say,
I wouldn't know.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
It's quite high. Unfortunately, I buy it a real bad time.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Oh maybe maybe think are you looking to stay in
the house longer? Yeah, right, maybe look at when the
I mean, if if interest rates are lower now I'll
believe it or not, if they fit there that high,
If it's lower than what you signed at, I would say, refinance.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Okay, and then do the sport cork gab it.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Well, you only live once, right exactly. I know.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I think I think you have to have balance because
Alan you know, I come from a very I say
this a lot, but I don't. I have a really
hard time spending money. You know, I take any free
vacation we can get. I mean, I'm like, I you know,
I don't buy expensive stuff. I've got like one or
two nice handbags. You know, I'd drive a very chill car.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
You've got to scarcity mindset.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
I have very scarcity mindset. Mom was single.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Mom, I didn't have money until my thirties, so this
is all new to me. So I hold it on
unless it's for my kids and the family, unless it's
like a family vacation or something like a sport court
for everyone.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I would never do that.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Are you going to have fun on the sport court too?
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Then you know what you guys should? I say, go
for it if you can handle it.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, we throw a quality of life and enjoying the
fruits of your labor as also. There's a balance with
that and it's important.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
And then maybe Ellen, that's what you're for to show
her that it's okay to enjoy the money, the fruits
of your labor, the money that you're earning.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Well, he always is like he tries to calm me
down because I stress a lot.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
But when you don't need to.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
But you know again, it's you know, I it's I
say this again a lot, but it's there's a lot.
My work is so up and down. I never know
when things are coming in. And then you know, having
to pay child support and this, that and the other.
So it's just a lot.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Yeah, I'm sure it is. So do you do you budget?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I just don't buy anything. Oh that's my budget.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
But the point that will be, only buy it if
we need to.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Yeah, it's like Amazon, Okay, do.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
We need this, Yeah, let's buy it. So it's more necessity.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
I couldn't tell you the last thing that I bought, truly.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
I bought a knife to cut the gem mutts last
night at forty dollars.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
That sounds like a necessity to me.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Alison, what is one thing that you want women to
know about money?
Speaker 4 (28:39):
The one thing I want women to know about money
is you've got to be involved in your money. Don't
just ponnd it off to somebody else, maybe a husband,
a significant other. Don't avoid it because you are fearful
of it, because it's always going to be there. And
when I say get involved, I mean have full visibility
about how much money is going out and how much
(29:02):
money is coming in. If you are, if you're married
and you've got your husband investing, you've got to be
aware of what he or she is investing in. Nowhere,
you know, know about all of the financial stuff in
your house. So what assets do you have, where are
the documents for that? How much debt is your family carrying?
(29:23):
You know, what are the investments in? Where are the
checks and balances in that? That's why you need to
be involved. What are the passwords to all the accounts?
Have you looked lately at who the beneficiaries are on
your accounts? That's really important. A lot of people get
busy with life and things change and they the last
thing they think about is putting the correct beneficiaries on
their accounts. You've got to make sure. You've got to
(29:44):
look and make sure. And it's not just a one
and done thing. You should probably be looking at it
once a year.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
You have a will, right like you tell what should women?
It's a have a have a will family will, or
to have all that set up to now that we're
in our forty.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
And or an estate plan depending on you know, if
you're somebody who's like a twenty year old, I would
say you don't need an estate plan, have a will,
but have a healthcare directive. And as you get older
and accumulate assets, I would say in estate plan is
definitely necessary. And also there are tax benefits to that
as well for your kids. So it's kind of like
(30:23):
a lock box. But once you open up an estate plan,
you have to actually fill it with stuff. It's kind
of like with your It's kind of like with your
WRATH or your traditional IRA. You can open up those accounts,
but you've got to actually put investments in them, so
it kind of works the same. And just like just
like the traditional and traditional and roth iras are tax
(30:44):
advantaged accounts, having an estate plan can also be tax
advantaged as well for your family. So when you're gone,
your kids aren't stuff paying taxes on all the money
that you've earned.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Yeah, that makes sense. You obviously mentioned budgeting a couple
of times. Do you have a lot of budgeting tips
in your book as well? Out of budget and what
to put what and what?
Speaker 4 (31:06):
Oh? Yeah, and there are lots of budget choices and
I kind of made it fun. I made it so
you can choose from three types of budgets and I
liken them to shoes because who doesn't want to talk
about shoes.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Because it does it involve buying shoes? Because I was like,
I'd like a pair of shoes.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
You can make room in your budget to buy a
pair of shoes. That's the whole point of budgeting is
you can make room for Once you have like a
full view of everything, it's amazing. It's sort of like
an aha moment. A light goes on and you're like, oh,
I'm spending that much on coffee every week. And I'm
not saying take the joy out of life and you're
not allowed to buy coffee, but sure it adds up.
That could be that could be money that you put
(31:40):
in your in your wroth account every month instead, and
then and then you realize that that that's accumulating for
your future financial self, and you know, you get to
feel better about yourself.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Do you think couples should have a budget they both
stick to or should it be should it be something
you talk about or be a free for all? Oh?
Speaker 4 (32:00):
I definitely don't think it should be a free for all.
Can you imagine if it's a free for all?
Speaker 3 (32:03):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
I've been in that before.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
Oh yeah, I mean I think have open communication about
what each person wants, and I think you should be
doing that before you get married, because if your money,
if your money views don't align, I mean, you may
want to think twice about whether you guys should be together.
I mean, because money is the source of many arguments
and the source of many divorces. So I think you've
(32:27):
got to at least aligne on where each of you,
you know, falls along the line of spending and saving
and investing.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I feel like we're so no and that's all I
was just gonna say, like, you are so so good
and with money, and you don't buy crazy stuff. You
used to not be I know when I but I
didn't know you then, But you are so good with
it that it doesn't make me feel like you're just
(32:58):
like you know, any money you make, you just go
blow like you're you're you put it in, and we've
got our joint, you know. So it's like it's it
feels like a partnership and I have it. I never
felt that because I used to. We set a budget
one time my axe, and he blew right past it,
you know, and and he's wukers and I'm like, why here,
(33:18):
because we did that together to set you know, because
you were spending too much and I spent nothing, and
so I was trying to make it like meet in
the middle. But we've never had an issue on money.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Fighting don't buy anything extravagant.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
I know, but I do have one small fear though,
yeah I have. I have a fear that one day
I'm going to come home and there's going to be
like a Corvette in the driveway because he's so obsessed
with cars. But I mean, hey, that makes you happy.
But then I would be that I could find myself
being like, well, I don't give myself anything, and he's
buying himself a car.
Speaker 4 (33:51):
Maybe I should just go ahead and take that vacation
after all, my right.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
But I would still reach out to a place first
and be like, can I get it for free? I
gotta try. It's the cheap girl in me, you know
what I mean, it's scavenger.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
Well, all I can suggest that if you want to
get that Corvette and then you know, talk with it,
talk with her about it first, and maybe, you know,
is show how it can fit into your budgets so
she doesn't feel like, oh my god, you just grabbed
all the money and made it just made a free
for all purchase.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
I think that's it. I think couples at least I
have that conversation. I know, no, I know almost had
a bow on it. But i'd be like, it's not
really for me, but I know what you're doing here.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
I'll get you a pink seat cover for the passenger seat.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
I don't even like pink anyways.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Well, thank you so much for coming on. I'm excited
to read your book and everyone go get what's up
with money? With women and money. It's available now how
to do all the financial stuff you've been avoiding. Thank
you so much, Alison.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
Thanks guys, nice to meet you as well.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Appreciate you big girl,
Host
Jana Kramer
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