Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Jenna Kramer and I've heart radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
All right, Ben, got anything?
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Yeah, but a discussion on our baby backs.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Baby backs, it's a struggle.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
It's a major struggle. Because I'm now on muscle relaxes.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Great.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
So if I fall asleep on your lap during the podcast, you.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Know, why would you like to elaborate?
Speaker 4 (00:26):
But I don't think it's any coincidence. And we both
have the exact same injury. Okay, different sides of minds
on the left side, goes on the right, but the
exact same injury on our backs. And there's one common denominator,
and it's a thirty pound meatball that we lift and
put down and lift and put down and lift and
(00:47):
put down god knows how many times a day. So
we need to start treating them like a dumbbell and think, okay, I'm.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Listening, await here, how do I do it? I don't
pivot my back. I bend my knees.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
So and the point where we're going to switch in
then and out to go with the chiropractical on a daily.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Basis, Yeah, all right, I'm going to go during his
first nap, and then can you go during the second nap?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah, since we finished podcasting chiropractic.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It's it's interesting because I pulled mine out treating it
like I bent over when I was putting him on
the ground, and it was not bending. The knees is
definitely in that dead lift position. And that's when my
first spasmed. And I've been going now and I went
the before the podcast to the chiropractor and I asked him.
I was like, when will the pain stop? Because it's
(01:37):
a constant throbbing. It keeps me up at night, and
he's like, I mean, I was like, does it ever
go away? He goes some don't and I'm like, are
you serious? This is going to be a thing. I'm
going to constantly feel.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
Well, We're going to have to manage it and treat
it and love a different way, love a different life.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Well that's when he said, you know, He's like, I'd
like for you to try to get on a steroid.
I was like, I don't think anyone wants to see
me on a steroid. I love my husband, So I'm like,
can we do everything before that's like my last two
options are steroid and then surgery because I'm like, i
can't sleep. It's constantly like shooting down nerve pain. I
can't you know, I'm having a tough time working out.
(02:17):
But I think when I came back from New York
is when your back was really bad. And I think
it was because you had the kids all day, because
that's when mine's really bad too, is when I have
like when you're gone traveling and I have the kids,
I e roumen.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
It's not so much pecking them up, because when you
peck them up, you can binge on these and then
go from law to high.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
It's putting them.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Down, which I had a prototype that I was making
to try and get patented for. Like when I got
my boob job done, my first thought was, well, Jason
was still in a crib and I'm not supposed to
lift a baby. But my favorite part of the night
is rocking the you know, rocking the baby, reading the stories,
(02:58):
and then putting my baby into the crib. And I
was like, how do I do that with a boob job?
And then I'm like, how do people do? Is the
bad back? So now we're putting Roman because we're gonna
have to lower his setting now that he's officially standing
up and about to be very courageous with his climbing
over things. So, but my prototype thing was to have
a crib where you can open it essentially it work
(03:19):
and lock, and then you can such like a cage essentially, yeah,
and then you open it and then you can just
instead of bending over the crib you place, you open
it and then place them in like that where you
can actually bend down and put in. But there were
so many warnings and there were so many potential lawsuits
(03:40):
that could happen, like you know, if they unlock it somehow,
or there wasn't any way to fully get the patent
that would make it where I didn't get sued and
send a person for injuries. Yeah, I can imagine, but
I'm like, why isn't there something like that, because I'm
thinking it is so hard to put him down in
that position with a bad back.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
He just look like a little slide and that the
slaves a little lost time he comes out at the
bottom of it.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I feel bad because yesterday when I put him in,
I I think I plopped him a little too.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Drop just.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
And I was like, oh, sorry, buddy, that was a
little that was that was a little harder. But I
couldn't it hurts.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Just said to me.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
We're in the park the bikes and I was walking
Roman and the stroller and Jase comes psychling all the bait.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
He's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 5 (04:33):
I was like what.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
He's like, you're so slow. I was like, I've got
so back. Jase's like, I know, but you're walking like
a sloth, embarrassing him in the park.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Step Dad's embarrassing him. No, it's I mean, this is
they probably they say a lot like come on, Alan,
you're slow, and so you do walk painfully slow. But
now with the bad back, it's like.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
I remember England training all the time I've been doing
the set pieces and how they came ow, can you
walk faster?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Not a chance? Wait, Harry Kane would say that to you.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Yeah, because what I used to used to walk through
the set pieces and you're like, can you walk faster?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I'm focusing on while I walk.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Why what is those slow?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Walk? It's not slow, it's just how I walk A
lot of ency. Will you see me?
Speaker 4 (05:22):
A lot of the time when I'm walking, I'm thinking,
so I don't think about walking. I'm thinking about what
I'm processing. I can't walk fast and think.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Oh, I'll just never forget that time that I left
something on the plane and the the zero like the
negative percent of any sort of urgency to turn around.
I mean even the slow the turnaround was like a
slow motion egency.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
It's just how my body operates. When you when we
walk outside around the neighborhood, you walk so quickly that
I'm almost like, Okay, I'm going to.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Jog your walk?
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Is that a rather jog than try and walk fast?
Because it's shape of my legs as well. My legs
are bowed, aren't they.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, but has a great great song for that, that
bow Legged one, doesn't You've never heard that song? The
bow Legged One?
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Ha ha?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah, what's your name? I was singing the third day
with Sarah Bryce in the car, and I was like Ellen.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Hanging out the sun. Yep, I've got an idea of
that future anyways.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Okay, so today's but yes, the back's so fun. Gotta
love our babies and we just got to learn how
to lift them a little better, and I have started
slowing down on our walks. This week's adult education, We've
got Joe and Hannah Feminella coming on. They have a
dating app. I'm curious. Wait, have you ever been on
a dating app? M? I don't know this answer?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Yeah, not not freaking there's nowhere.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yes, have you have you ever been a dating app?
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Which one?
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I'm not disclosing that? Why because this isn't like talking
about it.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
I would always I would always, you know what, I
would create a profile and then go to sleep and
then wake.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Up like delete it, delete it now. I just didn't
want anyone known that I was on something like that.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Okay, which dating app? I'm going to disclose one of
my most embarrassing dating apps. So I would like for
you to be vulnerable.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
As one of the most embarrassing app that you were
part of one moment when you had the app.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
No app that I was on.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Okay, so I was on Hinge for a little.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
While you were on a Hinge.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Disgusting? Makes me?
Speaker 2 (07:46):
What profile picture to Jeeves? I bet you I could.
I could guess which one was it? The England one?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Was this before England or after England?
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Why would I put that up and then everyone would
have known I was an England coach?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
So gee, when you're modeling pigs, your little bluest I'm
like that that farmer with the with the uh, the lumberjack,
the lumberjack jacket on me, the presence. What did you
say you were looking for on the dating app?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
I would never write anything, so it was just a
picture blank?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Did you put your name?
Speaker 3 (08:19):
No?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Would you put you can't you have to put a
name on a dating app. You can't have just a
blank name and just a picture. That's a straight cat fish.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I think it might have put as at one point ar.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
And what did you say? Like? What did you what
did you what was your age range? And then what
would you would you say? I won't use any None
of this will be used against you in a court
of all with your wife. I swear James lost words. Okay?
Did you say what you liked, what you didn't want
(08:54):
or what you were looking for? Was it like long
walks on the beach with the love like kidding? Would
you put? You have to put something? Because hinge, I
will say. The one cool thing about Hinge is it's
very it's stylistically cool and it's different where it's more
it's the cooler of the apps where you can put
(09:17):
pictures and kind of really get to know someone's life
a little bit through photos I think.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
I can't remember what I used to put, but it
was very minimal as you can imagine.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Did you ever meet anybody from the app?
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Let my photos do the talking?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Oh my god, barf? Did you did you ever meet
anyone from the app? Go away? Come on, give us
give us the.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Maybe not?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
It's a yes or no question.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Yes I did.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
That's nice to go.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Okay, Mike, don't to ask you a question. Okay, Okay,
if you go back to your single and extremely hungry days.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Thank you you mean hi, I just got fake boobs
and I just got divorced.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Okay, we'll slip back here anyway.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
My question, if you have to go back to those days,
if you're to rewind the clock, what would you have
on a dating app that was they didn't have access
to what?
Speaker 3 (10:21):
What thing would you have on there?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
What thing would I have on there?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
What do you mean it's different?
Speaker 4 (10:27):
Maybe it was a safety thing, or maybe it was
like so, what I'm talking about was it would be
good for an app, and it's probably out there now.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
It would be good for an app to have like
a psycho ometer.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Well, previous people who have dated this person previously can
go on and comment, Okay, that's.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Called are we dating the same person on Facebook? Let
me tell you that's a fun group to be a
part of.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Well, it's different because you can then be like, okay,
that he was charming and respectful and kind like previous
dating history charming, respectful, kind, or an absolute twap like
you're disrespectful, he was drunk, he was.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
These man as.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Weren't up to scratch. Well, just little things. Now I
get that people have.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
If somebody gets rejected, they might have some negative desire.
So therefore I can.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
See why they maybe don't monitor that, but it would good,
be good to try and get almost like a a
due diligence type thing on the app of previous dates.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I have very mixed feelings about that. But why Well,
because I think we might be different versions with other people,
like I have been oil and water with someone where
they might be great with someone else like and so
then you would be presumed, like for example, with your
(11:48):
last relationship girlfriend, you guys had a different way of
communicating or where you were at in your life, you
were different, and so what she would have put in
which also she told me, it's a very different version
than what I got of you, okay.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
So here's here's what I'm getting at.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
So if you if you're on a dating app long enough,
you will start to get a build up of previous
dates that report back to the app.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Now they don't see that. It's almost like an uber rating.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
So now you've got a path on of behavior that
you can see that you can see this person's got okay,
if someone says very respectful, kind and that's what that's
up there, like twenty times. But then you might go
to someone else and they've had thirty dates and twenty
five of them. He's rude, these arrogant, he's cheap peas.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
So you've got to start to get.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
That, like an uber riting. Essentially, it's like.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
A trend in their behaviors and personalities.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Well, let's get the experts on Joe and Hannah Feminilla
because they've got a new app called first Rounds on.
Speaker 6 (12:52):
Me Hello, Hello, Hell are you hi?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Well we'll just hop right into it. We were just
talking about obviously dating apps. I was able to skirt
around the one that I don't have to say now,
which is great, but that I was on. But he
was almost saying, I feel like what you're saying, is
you want like an uber writing.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
I don't want anything I've saying for you to go
back to, sing you to go back to now nowadays
like almost like a people who have been on dates
where someone could go back and review that date and say, Okay,
this person was respectful, kind of this person was rude
and obnoxious, and then you start to see a history in.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Someone's behavioral patterns when they're dating.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
And I just thought like, okay, if there's something that
app could have, it would be almost something like that
where you can trend the behaviors of someone.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
It's also a kind of a nice way to bring
community and as well, like a PSA all the people
out there, so they could kind of say, oh, maybe
this is a person I don't want to go near,
or maybe this is a person I would be interested in.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
I don't know. I think I think it sounds good
in theory, but just because dating is so sensitive, and
say you have a not a bad date, but you
don't vibe well with the person, and then they're like,
you know what, because I didn't buy well, I'm going
to give them a better reading. It's like, well, they
didn't do anything wrong and I feel like it's just
like a it's tough. It's a tough line to walk.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
I agree. I agree.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
That's where I think it's great. And that's where there's
a website called are we Dating the same person? On Facebook?
And so there's in different cities, and I'm like, I
feel like that's so subjective because just because maybe maybe
that girl is upset because the guy didn't want to
go on another date with her, so she's gonna be like,
you know what, he's a he's a pig. He probably
just wants a date. But no, he was probably just
you guys did in Geil and so you know, it's
(14:48):
the guy that is now getting this bad rap on
his website when he just wasn't interested.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
So tell us about you because we're really interested.
Speaker 6 (14:58):
Are we?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Are we really and what you.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Guys and what you guys have done different from what's
your USP compared to other apps for lessoners or single lessoners.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Yeah, and I mean, Hanna and I can't use the
app now anymore as well. It sucks because we're married.
But yeah, I think the app came out of necessity
and I used all the other apps when I lived
in New York, and every time I'd go on a
date with somebody'd be like, Okay, you hate dating apps.
I hate dating apps? Why are we on the dating app?
And I think I kind of became a serial dat
(15:30):
to get feedback and figure out why there was this
gap in the market. And I was like, Okay, clearly
technology is here to stay, but how do we make
it more intentional and genuine? Because I noticed that I
wasn't being true to myself and I was just like
swiping for validation and I thought, Okay, this is great.
I'm getting all these likes. I must be doing something right.
But it didn't lead to anything, and I was like, Okay,
(15:52):
I'm seeing these women as a number, not as a person,
and that's not good. And kind of the whole industry
was going that way already. To answer your question, our
unique selling point is the first point of contact is
very intentional and genuine, where you actually send somebody a
date and bite, and then if you agree, then that
means that you guys both kind of agree to meet
in person, which is kind of how gating needs to
(16:15):
be in my opinion. We'll get into that, but I
think if you actually want to meet somebody, then meet them,
don't just match with them.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
So I agree with that piece, But the I guess
what I'm curious is can you FaceTime first? Because as
a single mom, the amount of times that I'm like,
I don't have time to go on a date with
you when I'm a single mom, like, can we at
least FaceTime first to not waste my time and get
a sitter and or I don't know, be miserable that
(16:45):
I just wasted and put my makeup on, to be
disappointed on this date that I went on.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
I think that it's very Again, I think all the
arguments or all the solutions are all valid, and then
I think when you put them in practice, you have
to think how they actually work. So as human beings,
we are geared towards a rejection mindset. So like, as
soon as we find a reason not to meet somebody,
or we think it's too big of a hurdle, we
immediately find it out. And I think, if you FaceTime somebody,
(17:13):
it's not going to be the best version of that person.
It might be a little bit nervous because I always
say the first fifteen minutes of a date is not
that real person, because they're going to be super nervous.
So facetiming does help, but it also could hurt, and
I feel like just being present with somebody is the
best start. I think voice notes are better. Voice notes
are better than FaceTime in.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
My opinion, Hannah, do you agree with that?
Speaker 5 (17:34):
I agree with it in a lot of things of
what jord just said. But I also understand that you know,
people's time is precious. But I to kind of counteract that.
I think that every dating experience is an experience of
itself and it kind of builds you up. I'm not
a single month, so I can't speak from that point
of view, being like super busy, but I think to myself,
(17:55):
when you put yourself out there, if you are looking
for relationship or you are looking for love, putting yourself
out there on a consistent basis is almost a necessary thing.
And so that's why we kind of when it comes
to the timing, that's why we don't really promote going
out for like these long drawn out dinners. We promote
going out for a drink, whether that be a coffee,
an alcoholic beverage, a smoothie, whatever kind of suit too.
(18:17):
It's not super time consuming. It does give you the
ability to be able to connect with somebody in real
life and actually see if that person is your person
or somebody that you want to pursue, rather than messaging
them constantly or facetiming to Joe's point, and then you're going,
I don't like the way he said this, or I
don't like this tiny thing.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
So walk us through the app. How when you get
the connection, what then happens is it's like you guys
have to set a date in time then or like,
how does that process work? So from getting on to
basically going on the date.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Yeah, so it's super thought out and a lot of
thought went into this. So you'll see somebody's profile the
same way you go on Hinge. And it's funny because
Hannah and I actually met on Hinge. So we're big
advocates of Hinge because we obviously met on Hinge, but
it was a proof of concept. And the way our
app works is you'll still see somebody's profile, so you'll
see like their prompts, there are images, but instead of
(19:08):
liking them, like I said, then you just have this
random match. The first point of contact is setting up
the date, so it's even before you match you set
up the date. So if I saw Hannah's profile, I'd
be like, Okay, I want to buy her a coffee.
So I'd pick coffee, I want to go out Friday
at ten am, and then I'd pick a coffee shop
in our area. And then I'd send that date to Hannah,
and then she'd get an alert saying don' want somebody
(19:30):
coffee at Bravo Toast ten o'clock shout outs Bravo Toast,
and then she could look at my profile and she's like, Okay,
Joe looks super interesting. I want to do it. Then
that's where the other two unique selling points come in
is we only allow you to have one date per day.
Because this is part science and part just what I
think is right, is you should only focus on one
person per day. I feel like your brain and the
(19:52):
human body should not be having ten matches a day,
so put your time and energy into one person per day.
And then the last thing is that the chat box
only opens twenty four hours before the date. So the
reason we do this is a lot of people get
to know each other through the app and it either
goes nowhere or you create this false image of somebody
and it's like, why not give people twenty four hours
(20:12):
to feel comfortable, but then save the natural icebreaking questions
for in person, like Jane Allen, what do you do?
Where are you from? You have a really cool accent?
Tell me the story behind where you're from. All that
should happen in person, not through the phone because it
just makes it super awkward if you do meet. So
those are our three selling points.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
So and that situation, then do you get to see
if one of the because they've only had twenty four
hours to communicate before the date, do you get to
see if one of the people have counseled the date?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Well, they accept it, right, yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
But how do they cancel if someone wants to counsel
through the app?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah, so you'll get an alert saying like, yeah it is.
We try and do our best because, like I said,
dating is so sensitive, so you try and want to
make the whole experience as good as possible.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
But yeah, it's well, I like the way.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
I like the way that you guys almost cut fill
the bills and get straight to the get straight to
the date.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Yeah, I do like that piece. How many how many
swipes or do you allow in the app?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
So you could have ten date requests per day unless
you're a paying user. And again that's not to get
people to become paying users. That's to say, like seeing
ten people is sending ten dates? Is enough dates to
send in one day?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
You know what I mean? Like how many people that
can you? Can you see in the day?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
So you could access many as you want, but you
could only send ten date requests?
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Okay, yeah, because I know, like and Ria, they only
gave you like twelve guys a day or something for
the twenty four hour process.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
They only gave you twelve, only twelve.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Well, but I mean it's it's like a needle in
a haystack trying and like, is there like Europe and
like all over the place?
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Where did you guys meet if you don't mind me asking?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Well through Instagram? But he was living in Europe and uh,
the very persistently and then.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Lightly and respectfully Instagram is the best dating app?
Speaker 2 (22:10):
No, why would you say that your your app is
the best dating app?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Right? In my opinion? Yeah, but I'm also a realist
and I feel like if you could get into somebody's
DMS the right way, it's it's it's pretty smooth. In
my opinion, I don't.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Know, well, I think it's I mean, can you in
this situation. I'm obviously with the Instagram, you know, it
was he lived in a different country, he wasn't on.
We probably only would have met on the Riya app
if you were on that, because that's the whole you know,
world or whatever. But for this, how are you able
(22:45):
to set in different locations or do you have to
put specifically that location since it's obviously date in that area.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Yeah, so it's it's geolocated because obviously we really want
you guys to meet in real life. Sure, so we
usually recommend don't go about fifty miles because if you're
connecting with somebody fifteen miles away, what are the odds
you're actually going to go meet them? So yeah, we
just try our best to get people to meet in
person and to kind of just broaden your horizons because yeah,
(23:13):
ideally Raya is great, but from what I've seen, Riya
is used by really cool people that live in LA
that don't really have a genuine intention of being a relationship.
It's just more of like a club.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Okay, cool, you think I'm thanks or then also just
been like all right, this person thinks I'm cute and
then like no one says high, no one does anything,
and it just sits there. I'm like, this is so stupid,
Like I'm not actually a cloud thing.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
Yeah, I have a one out. I think maybe a
one out one day.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Through Rya literally saying.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
It just it very much felt like a validation. Huis
usus intentionally diaty exactly?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
And I could speak from my experience like Hannah is
a riya user.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
I am not.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
I wasn't cool enough to be on Riot, so I
had to go to Hinge and when I matched with Hannah,
maybe I was, you know, not her U on paper,
superficial looking person. But we met right away and that
proof of concept work because she was like, yeah, you
look cool, let's meet and then it all happened.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
How long you isn' married for?
Speaker 5 (24:14):
Been married for a year and a half together? Four?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
About four?
Speaker 2 (24:17):
What is what is y'all's? Because you know as also
a relationship podcast? What is for you? I mean you
guys open talking to you about your relationship or.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
No just the podcast We're an open book?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Okay? What is what is the best part of your
marriage that you guys do? So well together, and then
what is the thing that you guys are constantly kind
of looping on that you need to work on within
the marriage?
Speaker 1 (24:39):
And do you want me to go first? I'm going
to say, I.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Know that was like a.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
I think that perhaps some of the best things that
we do together is that our communication is really good,
and I think it has to be pretty solid for
the dynamic of our relationship considering the fact that we're
married and we also work with each other. But in
saying that, I think that one of the things that
we are constantly trying to curtail or constantly trying to
(25:13):
work on, is the boundaries of which we set within
our marriage versus our work life. Like we're around each
other twenty four seven, we work with each other, we
have all of these fantastic ideas, and like so many
times we have to kind of look at each other
and be like stop because it's at eleven thirty at night,
we're lying in bed and we're like, what do you
think about this? For the apple? How does this work?
And so I think it's just I mean, within any relationship,
I think that there's always this thing of boundaries, but
(25:35):
even more heavily accented when it comes to our neck.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
That was beautifully said. And that's why I wanted to
go first, because I knew you're going to say something
really great.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
Yeah, I see, that's what happens with us as well.
Of course he says something amazing. I'm like, has to
follow that up.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yeah, I know. I really like that we're best friends.
And I really mean that because I really just like
her as a person, so I can be around her
all day. You hear those marriages where it's like the
guy can't wait to get out of the house to
just get his own mean time, which I also do
love that, But I just love being best friends with her.
And when you're in love and attract is your best friend,
(26:11):
it's really cool. And the other thing is, I think
I'm a very stubborn, like New York Italian guy or
you know, it used to be my way of the highway,
and then I got a little bit more emotionally intelligent
because of her, And I think kind of just continuing
on that adoption of Okay, be a little bit more
in tune with your emotions, communicate and articulate your words,
(26:33):
don't be shut off. I'm still working on all that,
but yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
It's not what you see, it's how you see.
Speaker 6 (26:40):
It, right, right?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Do you guys want kids?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (26:59):
Yeah, yeah, I mean the app is kind of a
baby at the moment. You know, there's so much time
and energy and has to go into it to create
something that hopefully will make this world a little bit better.
But children is definitely very high.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I know.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Prior to this, when how long has an app been launched?
Speaker 1 (27:18):
For? So technically four years, but the first two years
it was kind of just a project that I paid
for and around by myself. And then in May of
twenty twenty two we got our first round of funding
and it's kind of been a real business since May
of twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Okay, and then what is is there something that you
want to add to the app that you're like, okay,
this is kind of our next goal within the app.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Yeah. So, right now the app is solely for singles
and dating. Where it's going to evolve into is more
of a social app for couples, friends, and family members
where it's the same process. But for example, say you
guys are in LA or wherever you are, and you
have a trip to New York. Instead of telling those friends, Hey,
it'd be nice to catch up with you guys when
we're there. Why not just send them an actual date
invite through the app? Or had it Alway says it'd
(28:01):
be nice if you could send me a date through
first rounds on Me and we can kind of set
up our once a week dates through the app. And
that's where I want to go in the future, is
it's going to be more of a social app and
a social calendar for everyone rather than just singles.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
I love that idea because I feel like, even for girls' nights,
it's like we have our girl group chat and it's like,
all right, hey, guys, throw out dates, you know, like
when can you do it? And then we kind of
throw out things, but then they don't really match up,
and then by that point we kind of just forget
and the app, you know, then the conversation kind of
goes away. And the other day, you know, at a
friend that was like, all right, Saturday at this time,
(28:35):
like let's let's do that. It's like when you actually
set something, I feel like that happens more than be
like let's get together, when do you want to? And
then it's just never really followed there on.
Speaker 5 (28:45):
Very rarely get out of the group chat right, which
is really difficult because you want to see these people,
especially with when it comes to girlfriends just friends in general,
you want to connect with them again. So that's like
definitely one point. But to reiterate what Joe said, I
feel like couples sometimes, you know, especially when you're in
a marriage, things get a little complacent. And so if
you had an opportunity to be like, hey babe, I'm
taking you out at this time this day, let's go,
(29:07):
it's just I think it eliminates a lot of stress
with a person planning it, and also like it's just
like a sense of chiwerry, a sense of joy for
the person who it's being planned for.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Right, Just wait till you have kids.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You guys have kids?
Speaker 5 (29:22):
We do how many?
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Four? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Four kids? Wow?
Speaker 4 (29:28):
If we sent each other the eight if the end
face would be up. Sorry, we can't do that. No,
we need to choose another one.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Actually that's not true because if you send me a
date invite, I would have been like absolutely yes, and
well maybe.
Speaker 5 (29:39):
The day of moneys be like I'll meet you in
the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
And I think there's something too to be said that
why I love your app is because it's nice to again,
even within our marriage too, or when I was single,
I to have a guy be like I'd like to
go on a date with you, Like I think it's
That's why I would say to you when you ask
me if you want to go on a date, I'm like,
a plan it, yes, please, I don't want to have
(30:01):
to think of one more thing to like, Oh, which day?
I don't know. There's something so sexy about when you
just are like, we're going out this day at this time.
I've already called the sitter things. It's like that's so
hot to a mom.
Speaker 5 (30:14):
Me you, I'm sure, but I think it melts to
anybody you know, And I think that's what I think
when I've been dating in Los Angeles. I've been living
here for about thirteen years, and I've been dating in
Los Angeles quite a while. And I one of the
things where when Joe and I first natural hinge, he
was like, he's like, I don't want to talk too
much on the apps, like when can I take you out?
And I said tonight and he goes, okay, I'm going
to take you here at this time, and I was like,
(30:34):
oh and it was so sexy and it was so endearing,
and it was just I think that's what we're constantly
trying to replicate for people, is like, we know what works.
It's happened for us, and we're married now, right, so
we want to give that to other people.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
And I could jump on that with two things that
we saw. So the when I was doing my research
building first friends of me, the number one complain I
got from women was that it was the biggest turn
off when guys didn't have a plan so say it's like, okay,
yeah I want to meet you, that's great, what do
you want to do? I don't know what do you
want to do? They were like such a buzzkill where
it's like now I dont actually don't want to meet
you anymore. And then the other thing is the reason
(31:10):
why I think people like being single and using gating
apps is because of the gamification and excitement of it.
And if married couples can have that using an app,
I think, like you said, that creates more of that
buzz and that energy, because yeah, being single was super
fun using a dating app, like you just swipe through
people and it's a game, and who's going to like you,
who's going to not like you? I miss that a
(31:31):
little bit. But obviously rude.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Love yes, rude, but but but it's sweet that that
you are Mannganese ever marry couples to because I would
love that. I think it'd be so cute to get
like a you know, Alan wants to take you on
a date tonight. It's like it gives you that excitement,
that that feeling of yeah, because even when you like
you still when you text me when we when you
say like babe on the text message, it gives me butterflies.
(31:55):
I don't know because it's like, yeah, I don't know
what's coming next, but it's just like it's sweet to
have that kind of excitement. So we would definitely ease
your app. My one thing though, that I want to
go to just because I'm I don't want to say
I think negative of people, but the fear of meeting
someone that you don't know freaks me out because I'm like,
(32:17):
if you really don't know this person, there's a lot
of obviously you know, I don't say cat fishing, but
if you don't, this person's crazy, Like what is the
safety precautions around meeting with someone that you don't know,
because I get fearful of that, of.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
Course, and I think that that's really natural, especially within
the technology technological age that we live in. But I
think there's a couple of things which we combat first
and foremost, if you bring it back to our parents' days,
when before technology, they met at bars. They met strangers
at bars all of the time, at restaurants out in
the wild, and it was a supernatural progression. Also, we
(32:54):
really implement the fact that like, you go and meet
in a public place, right, don't go to a dark alley,
don't go to.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Someone's home, don't go and do it where that makes sense.
Speaker 5 (33:04):
Go to a public place. And also just go for
a drink. You're not committing to a three hour dinner,
you're not committing to a concert, you're not committing to
all of these activities. You're going for a drink in
a public place to see if this person, if you
vibe with this person, and if you like it, go
out for dinner or go schedule a second date. But
we also have things implemented within the app structure to
kind of aid that, because I think my darling husband,
(33:25):
as he was developing this app, really understood the fears
of women, and as I came on board, then I
kind of stressed that even more so. Fifteen minutes into
your date, we have within the app, we have this
little check in that basically sends you are noticed and says, hey,
are you having a good time, And if you click yes,
then we leave you to it, and if you click no,
then it will send a text to your emergency contact
(33:47):
that's built in within the app, so it gives it
instead of like superstitiously, you know, texting your friend underneath
the table will be like, oh my god, get me
out of here. We have that kind of built in
just as like that extra real safety element, but we
also kind of counteract it with like do you think
of every other dating app on the planet, Like, Yeah,
you can sit there and talk to somebody for weeks, months,
but you don't really know that person, so you could
(34:09):
be still going out with a complete stranger. They could
have fabricated everything that they've ever told you. So it's
still you know, the nature of going out on dating
apps is you are meeting a stranger. But we hope
that we we give people a little bit more comfort
in doing so.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
That's intelligent like that, Well, I where can our listeners find,
like for our single at the moment, listeners, where can
they find? The app? Is just on the app store
that you can download, or is it online or.
Speaker 5 (34:36):
App store, Android, across the board anyway you find apps normally.
And then we obviously have like our social media that
have links towards towards the app as well.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yeah, and hopefully our podcast gets as big as yours
because you're You've kind of inspired me on, like, okay,
I want to be more like them. You guys have
a nice podcast. We have a podcast as a married couple,
so yeah, but it's great inspiring us.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Well, oh you're sweet. Well, what what is the messaging
on your podcast? Like what do you what do you
want to do? Want people to come on? Do you
want to talk about your marriage? Like what is what
is the thread through it?
Speaker 1 (35:10):
We we kind of cover everything, just human connection based.
So we don't always have single people on. We have
some couples. Obviously. We're in LA and we go to
New York, so it's a lot of we try and
get people who have somewhat of a following just to
talk about who they are as a person and what
they want in their current dating life or their single life,
and it's just kind of to humanize the world again
(35:31):
and just talk about who they are. But yeah, we'd
love to have you guys on as guests.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
We really love that. Oh I'm curious, like because it
in the dating world, where do you think people go
wrong the most? And then within and then with you
guys too, where do you think you guys go wrong
the most? Together as a couple.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
In the day, I'll speak to the dating world, you
could speak to us in the dating world. I think
that we think that there are so many options, especially
when you live in a big city. And I always
say this, guys in la are so disillusioned with They
all think they're going to marry some actress or supermodel
and they're waiting for that. And it's like, okay, guys,
(36:11):
just be a little bit more realistic and don't just
want to be with somebody because of their LA cloud.
And then once they get to their thirties their forties
and they haven't found that person yet, it's like you, well,
you just waited for the wrong things, and why don't
you just get to know people instead of always waiting
for the next best thing. The next big star to
come around, and it's just not realistic. It's just not realistic.
Speaker 5 (36:32):
As I think that people kind of really fall prey
to a lot of the things that we see within
the dating world, which is like the paradox of choice,
which is kind of what Joe was just saying, like
this illusion of endless options when in reality that you're
not going to vibe with one hundred and fifty people.
And then also this swipe fatigue that we go through.
Joe touch on it earlier, but the gamification of dating
(36:53):
apps nowadays has made it almost like a social media
where we're just searching out validation versus searching out genuine
intentional dating. And I think it's if that's what you want,
if you want to be swiping through and you want
to get that kind of feeling of fulfillment that way,
and all the power to you. But we wanted to
create a space where people who are intentional datas that
(37:13):
have that, that want marriage, that want a long term relationship,
that want any kind of amalgamation of that, have the
space to be able to do so. And I think
in our relationship where where we go wrong, I mean
every marriage you go wrong, some near different areas, don't you.
And it's just this constant kind of constantly working to
be not only the best version of ourselves for ourselves,
(37:36):
for our marriage, but then also for this business that
we're growing. I think that even though we are quite
good at communication, it's something that we're constantly working on
because I think that not only through the podcast of
like talking to all of these you know, dating experts
or experts in their field and general communication is the
number one key to successful relationship. And so sometimes where
(37:57):
sometimes perhaps we don't communicate the best, but I think
we have a very good way of reeling it back
and going, WHOA don't like the way you said that, Well,
I don't like the way that I just talk to
you in that way. How do we communicate a little
bit better? How do we express our needs and our
wants in a better way?
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Yeah, we feel that, Yeah, I think that. Yeah. I
think it's hard to when we're in our calm and
centered place and we're not talking out of fear or
or anger. We have such great conversations, but we're both
at the place where we're talking out of our own fear,
(38:32):
own our own anger. It's just like we're just no
one hears anything. We're just not even He's not hearing
what I'm saying. I'm not hearing what he's saying, and
we're just firing off and we're just missing each other
every time. It's like, I love and it's like we're
trying to eliminate those moments where we can sit down
and talk from our our truthful places and our calm places,
(38:55):
and but it's not easy.
Speaker 5 (38:57):
It's not And I think one of the things that
that we Joe and I have honed in on, especially
as like really recent is just understanding that men and
women operate and think so differently, Like I think and
feel in a certain way, and I'm like, why is
she thinking and feeling in that way? And then I
why am I putting that place in that expectation on him,
(39:17):
like I should be actually trying to strive to understand
where he's coming from and how his brain works. So
that's a constant balance, and I think that that what
you were just saying eliminates a lot of that fear
or that anger when I when I have sympathy or
empathy for trying to understand where he's coming from, and vice.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Versa, Joe do you agree with that.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Yeah, I mean I think, like I said, I was
very stubborn, and I think it takes the right woman
to keep make you or help you adjust. And yeah,
I listen to a lot of podcasts and a lot
of them are like Jay Shatty and about yeah couples. Yeah,
And it's just like it makes you think differently of Okay,
if that person's yelling at you about the dishes, which
(39:57):
kind of yells by all the time about the dishes,
maybe that's sound at teck to me directly. Maybe it's
something else that's bothering her that's a little bit deeper.
And the dish never.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
It's never about the dishes. It's never about the thing
that they're actually.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
So it's like, let me not argue about the dish.
Let me just absorb it and be Okay, she might
be dealing with something bigger than the dishes. Let me
just listen and not get so defensive, because in my mind,
doing the dish, like having a dish in the dishwasher,
is not a big deal.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Wait now I want to get today. I love dishwasher conversations.
What do you think, ABOULESB.
Speaker 4 (40:34):
I think you spoke really well on. Sometimes it's not
your reaction as a part of you that you have
inside you that you don't want to react with. So
it's a part of your past that it's a part
of a fear and you don't that's not it's not you.
It's actually saying it. It's that's part of you that
you know that you're working on to get better, become
more emotionally. A lot of the time it's that part
(40:55):
that's speaking and not what you're actually feeling. So it's
like for us, it's if you react to something, that's
for me, for me to understand now and become better understanding.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
Okay, okay, why now I.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
Know why she's reacting like that, So that's what I
can react definitely to your reaction. Again, it's just I
think it comes from conversation. Yeah, calm conversation. We know
what we're like when you're in the red and I'm
in the red.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
And we're both very stubborn too, So.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Yeah, I want to ask you guys a question too,
because I think this is kind of the opposite impact
or logic, But I actually think it's good to have
passionate conversations and get a little fiery from time to time,
because in my opinion, if you don't have that, then
it's kind of like you both don't care, or it's
(41:45):
it's too good in a way where I think those
passionate conversations mean you both care so much that you're clashing,
because I think it's important. It means you care.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
I think you learn a lot in those moments. You know,
like just like he's now learned where things will that
part of me that's coming up, where that part comes from,
and which then he can understand me better. I can
now understand when his part comes up, where what that
part is, and how to communicate better so that he hears
me one way versus the other, and how to like
(42:16):
lean into those things, because if we never went through
those situations, then we're not able to grow together as
a couple. And yeah, I mean I love getting into
the weeds of things and going Okay, why did I
react this way? Why did he react this way? How
do we how do we communicate better to not go
straight to from you know, he skips the feeling part
of it and just go straight to angry. How do
(42:36):
we how do we like not go straight here? How
do I not go straight there? So it's it's it's
and yeah, I'm like, I love those kind of conversations.
I don't want to call them call arguments because I
think it's all part of conversation and you know, at
the end they you learn so much. So yeah, I don't.
I love to to get in the weeds of things.
Speaker 4 (42:58):
Yeah, I think the coin flip can as long as
as long as it's not too good. I think conflict
can lead to solutions, so healthy, Yeah, it.
Speaker 5 (43:08):
Has to be healthy conflicts. And I think that something
that perhaps has not spoken about a lot within like
healthy relationships and marriages, is the fact that you're going
to challenge each other. It's not necessarily a bad thing.
It may it may feel bad when it initially happens,
but as you were saying, it's like, if you can
have those constructive conversations and the new land and at
a better understanding of each other and your relationship as
(43:30):
a whole, like, it's the most beautiful thing. It's it's
kind of like just walking through the fire to be
able to get to the other side. And I think
it's necessary in building a life with each other, really
substantial life.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
I agree. Well, I love you guys, and we'd love
to come on your podcast as well. But everyone who
is single, go grab first rounds on me. Enjoy your date,
and thank you guys so much for coming on. We
really appreciate it.
Speaker 5 (43:53):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Than I would definitely use that up if I was single.
I think it's a cool concept.
Speaker 4 (44:00):
Yeah, I think it cuts through the crap. Yeah, it
really does. So it's best less sol coudos to them
for being intelligent and coming up with it, because it
does have a unique selling point of people that are
actually serious about finding someone to love and being in
a relationship with.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
So I had an app that I was going to develop.
It was called for Them, And then the whole concept
was because I had I had gone on a dating
app and created a profile for my mom and I
matched her with people, and then I said, here's ten guys,
and I was like, you know what, and I emailed
them and everything like this is her daughter. I think
you would match great with them, because it seems so
(44:39):
overwhelming for her to go on a dating app. So
then my brain started thinking, well, this is kind of cool.
Why don't I create an app called for them and
it's your friends, essentially picking out the batch of the
dudes and being like, here you go. But I just
got lazy with it and I never did it. So
if anyone wants to take the idea, I go for it.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
Think in theory it's good, right.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
I've never heard of I mean, maybe it's now happened
now there's an app for that, but I just always
thought it was so good, and I just I didn't
know how to at the time fall through with that.
I mean, I've been thinking about that for ten years.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
Okay, I just.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Gave it away. But anyways, well, I'm glad there's a
piece of me too that I've I'm so sad my
girlfriend who just voice memoed me earlier today about being
on apps. She's like, I didn't even like this dude
that I went out with, but now he's with this younger,
prettier model, and she's like, I just feel like I'm
never She's like, it's a numbers game and I'm never
(45:35):
going to be picked. And then my heart like broke
because she's so beautiful, she's successful, she's had an amazing
you know, she's an entrepreneur. I mean, she's she's got
a name for herself, and I'm like this is so
sad to me that this is how she's thinking that
she's never going to find love because of these dating apps,
and it just makes me sad. And the dating's just
(45:55):
it's so hard.
Speaker 4 (45:57):
Yeah, I just go back to that. Yeah, I mean,
it's just it's like you said, it's a numbers game.
It becomes exhausting, it does.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
But if you want to just get straight through the crowds,
first rounds on me, all right, see you next week.
Speaker 6 (46:13):
Bye.