September 11, 2025 • 17 mins
Is there a difference between meeting someone out at a bar and meeting someone online?? Jana and Allan try to figure out if a swipe and a click can lead to a less loving relationship than “can I buy you a drink?”.
Who is the “bad cop” in your relationship? Jana and Allan discuss how she always feels like she’s the one to discipline the kids, but Allan has a different opinion!
Plus, find out why Jana had to drop out of a popular reality show!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Janet Kramer, an iHeartRadio podcast. Meeting parents
online linked to less loving Relationships Oops meeting partners online
linked to less loving relationships.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
What did I says?
Speaker 1 (00:17):
That's about as Monday as Monday can get Tuesday, even
on a Tuesday. Well, when it's when it's a holiday,
this is like a Monday because we were gone, you know,
so now it's it was a short It was a
very short week, which was a fun week. Though if
anyone hasn't gone to we'll get back to the headline
(00:38):
if anyone hasn't gone to Chattanooga. Honestly, we were going
for the aquarium and then last minute my girlfriend Sarah
was like, you need to check out Rock City And
it was the cutest it was probably it was the
kid's highlight of the whole weekend. It was the rock City,
the cutest little town and I want to go back
without Roman next time a Fragle Rock. It was amazing
(01:03):
and we grew up on fraggle Rock, so it was
like the best. But I will say though I did
have it was so crowded that when we were going
a moment of I had a mom like pan, a
moment of panic, for sure, and the entire time I
kept going. This is why I said no to Special Forces.
This is why in this moment right here, I met
a kid's rock city and I can't even go, like
(01:26):
I'm freaking out in between these uh these you have
to go through this really narrow, I mean so narrow
where you can't I mean you had to go sideways
walk through it of these huge rock walls.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, what's that moving the James frankl.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
One, Yep, we'll watch it. I have no idea something
like that. But it's like I had to watch. I
didn't want to get because I know Jace has a
bit of anxiety, so it's fine, and you know, I
had to be like, Okay, this is so much fun.
And in my brain I'm like, you don't freak out, Jana,
Like you just keep breathing, keep breathing, keep breathing, Like
(02:03):
you can't show your kids that it's going to be stressful.
But the problem was is that it was a long line. Yes,
so we were stock so we were stuck, like you
couldn't go there were so many people going on this
path that you couldn't There was no there was no
space behind you, and there was no space in front
of you. You're just walking right in front of and
then someone's right behind you. And then when I saw
(02:24):
this long wall, I was like, we have to put
some distance because if I get stuck in the middle
of this thing, you're started people. I mean in my brain,
I was like, that's what I'm going to do. Excuse me,
excuse me, Like I played it out, but that was
Did it freak you out at all? That piece? Because
you stopped a little bit too.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
The little whatever.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
The second thing was, we went through all the fule thing,
we went through whether there was a proper line of
people and it was dark and we were under the ground.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yeah, I was I'm going to.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Have to let it but a space pop because if
I get caught and someone in front of me is
not moving and that start to feel post for week,
then I'll just swing evos and.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Okay, let's delete it ament and let up space.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yeah. And there's another part of the trail called the
fat Man Squeeze, and I'm like, we're gonna skip that part,
Like I just I mean again, it was one of
those moments where I was like, Decker, Jesse Decker. It
was is on Special Forces in this season, and she
kept saying, oh my gosh, you could totally do it,
and I've turned it down. There's no way. And that's
(03:31):
not you being rude to say no, it's just like,
there is absolutely no chance in hell I would be
And that's because when I did, I got as far
as the psychic owls and I that's when I pulled out.
I'm like, I can't.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
What if the quadrup wood the money.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I don't. I still don't think I could do it.
That's the thing, like it's it's well, and I always
said to myself, I'm like, maybe and I could. I
legit talked about my therapists before I pulled out. I said,
I've always done this thing where I feel like I
have to prove myself that can prove that I can
do it. And I've overcome anxiety. Yes, I've overcome anxiety
(04:09):
in many moments of my life, and I don't really
feel like I have to prove anything to myself anymore.
Like I don't want to be stuck underground or like
in between those and having that like panic come up.
I'm like, it's for what point? Why Why haven't put
myself in that situation to do that it's like, it's
just going to bring up trauma of when I was
(04:29):
had that trapped feeling, and I don't and I don't
want to do that, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
So I don't want to do it.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
So that's why, like, and Jesse kept saying, like you
can do it, I'm like, I don't. I was like, Jesse,
I don't think you understand I cannot do I was like,
I have PTSD from being trapped from someone trying to
kill me. And then the other piece of it is,
I'm like and on top of that, like that, I
just I'm so claustrophobic. So add the trauma and then
(04:59):
the claustrophobia and I mean it would be but they
are like now doing a couple. So I'm like, if
they did ask us to go as a couple, that.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Would be hilarious. You're having a panic attack, and I'm
sure in myself.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Here give me another round, man, Okay, because then anyways,
but let's go back to that.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Meeting partners Online link to Less Loving Relationships. They interviewed
six thousy six hundred people, But didn't you end up
reviewing the volunteered to participate in a study. The main
question of the study was whether meeting a partner offline
or online affects the intensity of experienced love and the
overall satisfaction with the relationship mm hm. Taking together, relationships
(05:48):
that start online tend to be less happy and less
loving than those that start offline. According to the study
of results. The scientists offers several explanations for this important finding.
A highlight this one bust. People who date online may
be confused by choice overload, and focusing too much on
physical attractiveness and not on character, which may lead to
(06:09):
bad partner choices. Also, people often lie about the age, height,
and other factors online dating. Last, but not least, people
who meet in real life have more shared interests than
those who meet online, since they often meet due to
these interests in the first place.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Do you agree, I mean, I feel like it's many
subtitles for that, but I feel like it's one of
those things where online is the way most people are meeting.
There are people nowadays anyways, I don't really see the
difference between meeting someone at a bar versus meeting someone
at online. I really don't like. I don't see for
(06:50):
someone that is a homebody like me, I wasn't going
to ever when I was single go out to a
bar or go to the gym or just randomly go
have lunch and then walk up to someone and say
hi to that, like I've never I don't know, I
just it's never really happened that way for me, and
I would. I think it's easier, well not, I mean
(07:12):
yes and no, but I think it's I think it's
one of those things where it's for people that it's
easier to meet people online. It just is. But I
think it's easier to cover up things online too, Like
I know a lot of people that when I've seen
(07:33):
people's profiles and then what they've actually looked like in person,
And that's speaking for the girl too, just from hearing
like from guys points of views of things. So I
think there's a lot you can cover up online. But
I think at the end of the day, when you
meet someone you know, you'll get that feeling like this
isn't right or not.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
I think it's online is a it's a dangerous one
because it's it's a platform where average people, average people,
but possibly less interesting people can make themselves appear more
interesting or better looking or better personalities just by what
they write on the profile. I think the biggest thing
(08:13):
about in it here it talks about people who meet
in real life have most shared interests that but I'm not.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I don't really, I don't see how that applies. Doesn't
because okay, we meet our mine. So here's the deal.
Do we like things that are more together separate? Do
we do things that are Do we do things more
together or separate together? I would say we do it together,
but and we have the same shared interests.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Yeah, I mean the benefit of seeing something like You've
made the point. If you meet someone at a bar,
you know no more about that person than you do
if you meet them online. The difference is you can
get a sense of the energy.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Have you ever lied to someone online, like a past
potential partner online?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
No?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah, yeah, And that's what I mean. It's for less
of people to maybe.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I think that question still is a little gray. Did
you have a girlfriend when you reached out to me?
We don't need to go back there. I don't know.
It's still a little gray in my mind. It's okay
under the bridge now, it's fine, Okay, I love o
guys just like justify things. I mean, I've done it too.
I justify the same thing. I'm like, well, we were
(09:36):
separated or you know. I think it's I think that
part is always going to be grey for people in
whatever area they're in. Like if you're not if you're
the non gray person, it's you were in a relationship.
If you were the gray person, you were not in
a relationship, you know. And I've been on both sides
of that where I'm like, well we were separated, I
can do whatever I wanted or you know. Yeah, yeah,
(09:58):
I mean I think you can always played two sides
to it. Interesting. But I think that you guys go
to just if you want to go out, go out.
If you want to meet online, I say, shoot your
shots on all of it. That's what I would say.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, I think an open mind is important with both.
I agree more beneficial if you if you meet them
face to face and you or you recognize this person
face to face in a kaffe or a bar, or
a restaurant or the gym, because then you get more
of a sense of what their natural energy is like.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
So then are we doomed because we didn't have that?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
No, I don't. I don't agree with the whole logic.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
And people meet online and stay together for the rest
of the lives like we probably will do.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Probably what's the probably it was to get that reaction.
Oh see, this is what men do just to get
a reaction. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Honestly when it comes to dating, see, as long as
it's safe and you're intelligent, I don't think this was
a right or wrong way to meet.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Amen to that. Robin Wright reflects on raising children with
ex husband Sean Penn. We were both extremes. Robin is
the first to admit that she has regrets as a parent.
I have a huge regret as a mother and have
experienced the fallout of this regret for many years with
my kids. I wasn't hard enough on them right fifty nine,
told The Times of London an interview The House of
(11:29):
Cards actors shares two children, Dylan and Hopper, with her
ex husband Sean Penn. According to Wright, Sean was the
stricter parent, but he was gone so much of the time.
He'd come back and be the policeman and then he'd
leave me with the residue. Then I would soften the blow.
We were both extremes. They didn't get that gray area
in the middle. Gosh, this should just episode called the
(11:50):
gray Area, which is stern and that is what they needed.
Who do you think is the harder parent or I
guess the sterner parent between the roles.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Here, I think it's a loaded question.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
I think I'm relaxed on some things that you're strict about,
and I'm strict on some things that you're.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Relaxed to it, which is a nice blend.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
But I tend to go from like you've got a
gradual process when it comes to your disciplining, I've got
what do you mean, Like you'll communicate more to get
to a point where you start to get angry with them,
or you are a boundaries being broke, whereas I'm more
straight away no you don't, don't do that, or I'll
(12:36):
raise my voice slightly, or so I think I get
to the bad cops sooner than what you do. But
I think we've got a mix of both.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
It's interesting you say that, though, because the reaction that
you gave me when I go to bad cop is like, oh,
but I'm like, like to your point example, well, like
the other day at dinner, I had said, please eat
your food, please eat your food, please stop talking, please
eat your food. By like the third or fifth time.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
A gradual process. That's what I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
You're freaking food now, Like I stop talking and it's
like but it's like you gave me the look of thought,
well if I did that, and I'm like, please pipe
in fricking okay, I was having a really bad day.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
So if I would have and here's a difference. Here's
a difference between when I speak and when you speak.
Because if I would have used the words that you
used and the tone that you used it I would
have come across as the Scottish devil m Whereas yeah,
I would have said that to you. That's why I
looked at you like, well.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Because mom can. But I think it's I rarely have
that last because I because I do do the gradual
thing and they usually listen. But it's when I have
to get to like the fifth time, that's where and
if I'm offline already and then it's just my head pops.
But I do think think it's difficult in the co parenting.
(14:03):
It is and it isn't like I think you've now
started to be helpful with the bigs because I don't
want to always be the parent that is correcting them
because the when they go to their dads one day
a week, you know, it's like, what's seven, seven or
eight days a month. It's like they get the they
don't really have rules there, you know, like the rule.
(14:24):
I'll take that back. I know they have rules and
my ex and I are very aligned on manners and
things like that, but when it comes to things like
their rooms and putting things away, and we have more
structured things like that here, and so when I'm the
one riding them, it's it's like I don't want them
to then go. She was always so strict and they
(14:46):
don't want to come you know what I mean. Like
and so it's like I would like to have that
balance with you to come in more. And I think
that's happened before where I said can you please? When
you do hear me go for like the third correction,
can you please come in? And it's he goes, and well,
you're handling it. I don't want to handle it every time.
I don't. I don't want to be the only one
handling it. It becomes frustrating. I don't want to be
(15:09):
the always on them parent. What no, No, I'm just I'm
like me like it. Oh no, no, no, dumb like
I mean, like you know, I'm like, it's like a
I work good. I'm just but you know what I'm saying.
And then we've talked about that so many times and
you have gotten better at helping correct them.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
I'm a lot more strength on. I would rather bring
them up to be more self sufficient. What is your
quickert to jump to help them?
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, and now.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Your response is to jump to help them. My response
is to not figure it out for yourself. And if
you need help, come and ask me.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
And because of that, then they come to me. And
then it feels and it's like I want them to
be able to feel comfortable in coming to you. And
so if you always say do it yourself, I'm like, Alan,
please like ask if they can, and if they're not,
they're coming to you. So just like sometimes it's it's
like a it's a blend. But I think both of
our upbringings and different values and views are a good blend.
(16:08):
And I think it's I think it's good. I think
it's good. It's all it's all a work in progress,
but I love you, babe. This was a good one.
I'm excited for the month ahead. We've got a lot
coming up. I've got Vegas coming up in September for iHeart.
We've got Paris, One Tree Hill Convention, ball Break, we
(16:29):
just planned that. I'm really excited, and you got your
app coming out, so it's a it's going to be
a fun, hopefully god willing. This is where I get
like really like superstitious about everything, but I'm glad to
be on this journey with you.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
It's not a probably. We're gonna last forever and ever
and ever. Okay, bye bye
Wind Down with Janet Kramer, an iHeartRadio podcast. Meeting parents
online linked to less loving Relationships Oops meeting partners online
linked to less loving relationships.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
What did I says?
Speaker 1 (00:17):
That's about as Monday as Monday can get Tuesday, even
on a Tuesday. Well, when it's when it's a holiday,
this is like a Monday because we were gone, you know,
so now it's it was a short It was a
very short week, which was a fun week. Though if
anyone hasn't gone to we'll get back to the headline
(00:38):
if anyone hasn't gone to Chattanooga. Honestly, we were going
for the aquarium and then last minute my girlfriend Sarah
was like, you need to check out Rock City And
it was the cutest it was probably it was the
kid's highlight of the whole weekend. It was the rock City,
the cutest little town and I want to go back
without Roman next time a Fragle Rock. It was amazing
(01:03):
and we grew up on fraggle Rock, so it was
like the best. But I will say though I did
have it was so crowded that when we were going
a moment of I had a mom like pan, a
moment of panic, for sure, and the entire time I
kept going. This is why I said no to Special Forces.
This is why in this moment right here, I met
a kid's rock city and I can't even go, like
(01:26):
I'm freaking out in between these uh these you have
to go through this really narrow, I mean so narrow
where you can't I mean you had to go sideways
walk through it of these huge rock walls.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, what's that moving the James frankl.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
One, Yep, we'll watch it. I have no idea something
like that. But it's like I had to watch. I
didn't want to get because I know Jace has a
bit of anxiety, so it's fine, and you know, I
had to be like, Okay, this is so much fun.
And in my brain I'm like, you don't freak out, Jana,
Like you just keep breathing, keep breathing, keep breathing, Like
(02:03):
you can't show your kids that it's going to be stressful.
But the problem was is that it was a long line. Yes,
so we were stock so we were stuck, like you
couldn't go there were so many people going on this
path that you couldn't There was no there was no
space behind you, and there was no space in front
of you. You're just walking right in front of and
then someone's right behind you. And then when I saw
(02:24):
this long wall, I was like, we have to put
some distance because if I get stuck in the middle
of this thing, you're started people. I mean in my brain,
I was like, that's what I'm going to do. Excuse me,
excuse me, Like I played it out, but that was
Did it freak you out at all? That piece? Because
you stopped a little bit too.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
The little whatever.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
The second thing was, we went through all the fule thing,
we went through whether there was a proper line of
people and it was dark and we were under the ground.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yeah, I was I'm going to.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Have to let it but a space pop because if
I get caught and someone in front of me is
not moving and that start to feel post for week,
then I'll just swing evos and.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Okay, let's delete it ament and let up space.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yeah. And there's another part of the trail called the
fat Man Squeeze, and I'm like, we're gonna skip that part,
Like I just I mean again, it was one of
those moments where I was like, Decker, Jesse Decker. It
was is on Special Forces in this season, and she
kept saying, oh my gosh, you could totally do it,
and I've turned it down. There's no way. And that's
(03:31):
not you being rude to say no, it's just like,
there is absolutely no chance in hell I would be
And that's because when I did, I got as far
as the psychic owls and I that's when I pulled out.
I'm like, I can't.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
What if the quadrup wood the money.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I don't. I still don't think I could do it.
That's the thing, like it's it's well, and I always
said to myself, I'm like, maybe and I could. I
legit talked about my therapists before I pulled out. I said,
I've always done this thing where I feel like I
have to prove myself that can prove that I can
do it. And I've overcome anxiety. Yes, I've overcome anxiety
(04:09):
in many moments of my life, and I don't really
feel like I have to prove anything to myself anymore.
Like I don't want to be stuck underground or like
in between those and having that like panic come up.
I'm like, it's for what point? Why Why haven't put
myself in that situation to do that it's like, it's
just going to bring up trauma of when I was
(04:29):
had that trapped feeling, and I don't and I don't
want to do that, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
So I don't want to do it.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
So that's why, like, and Jesse kept saying, like you
can do it, I'm like, I don't. I was like, Jesse,
I don't think you understand I cannot do I was like,
I have PTSD from being trapped from someone trying to
kill me. And then the other piece of it is,
I'm like and on top of that, like that, I
just I'm so claustrophobic. So add the trauma and then
(04:59):
the claustrophobia and I mean it would be but they
are like now doing a couple. So I'm like, if
they did ask us to go as a couple, that.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Would be hilarious. You're having a panic attack, and I'm
sure in myself.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Here give me another round, man, Okay, because then anyways,
but let's go back to that.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Meeting partners Online link to Less Loving Relationships. They interviewed
six thousy six hundred people, But didn't you end up
reviewing the volunteered to participate in a study. The main
question of the study was whether meeting a partner offline
or online affects the intensity of experienced love and the
overall satisfaction with the relationship mm hm. Taking together, relationships
(05:48):
that start online tend to be less happy and less
loving than those that start offline. According to the study
of results. The scientists offers several explanations for this important finding.
A highlight this one bust. People who date online may
be confused by choice overload, and focusing too much on
physical attractiveness and not on character, which may lead to
(06:09):
bad partner choices. Also, people often lie about the age, height,
and other factors online dating. Last, but not least, people
who meet in real life have more shared interests than
those who meet online, since they often meet due to
these interests in the first place.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Do you agree, I mean, I feel like it's many
subtitles for that, but I feel like it's one of
those things where online is the way most people are meeting.
There are people nowadays anyways, I don't really see the
difference between meeting someone at a bar versus meeting someone
at online. I really don't like. I don't see for
(06:50):
someone that is a homebody like me, I wasn't going
to ever when I was single go out to a
bar or go to the gym or just randomly go
have lunch and then walk up to someone and say
hi to that, like I've never I don't know, I
just it's never really happened that way for me, and
I would. I think it's easier, well not, I mean
(07:12):
yes and no, but I think it's I think it's
one of those things where it's for people that it's
easier to meet people online. It just is. But I
think it's easier to cover up things online too, Like
I know a lot of people that when I've seen
(07:33):
people's profiles and then what they've actually looked like in person,
And that's speaking for the girl too, just from hearing
like from guys points of views of things. So I
think there's a lot you can cover up online. But
I think at the end of the day, when you
meet someone you know, you'll get that feeling like this
isn't right or not.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
I think it's online is a it's a dangerous one
because it's it's a platform where average people, average people,
but possibly less interesting people can make themselves appear more
interesting or better looking or better personalities just by what
they write on the profile. I think the biggest thing
(08:13):
about in it here it talks about people who meet
in real life have most shared interests that but I'm not.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I don't really, I don't see how that applies. Doesn't
because okay, we meet our mine. So here's the deal.
Do we like things that are more together separate? Do
we do things that are Do we do things more
together or separate together? I would say we do it together,
but and we have the same shared interests.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Yeah, I mean the benefit of seeing something like You've
made the point. If you meet someone at a bar,
you know no more about that person than you do
if you meet them online. The difference is you can
get a sense of the energy.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Have you ever lied to someone online, like a past
potential partner online?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
No?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah, yeah, And that's what I mean. It's for less
of people to maybe.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I think that question still is a little gray. Did
you have a girlfriend when you reached out to me?
We don't need to go back there. I don't know.
It's still a little gray in my mind. It's okay
under the bridge now, it's fine, Okay, I love o
guys just like justify things. I mean, I've done it too.
I justify the same thing. I'm like, well, we were
(09:36):
separated or you know. I think it's I think that
part is always going to be grey for people in
whatever area they're in. Like if you're not if you're
the non gray person, it's you were in a relationship.
If you were the gray person, you were not in
a relationship, you know. And I've been on both sides
of that where I'm like, well we were separated, I
can do whatever I wanted or you know. Yeah, yeah,
(09:58):
I mean I think you can always played two sides
to it. Interesting. But I think that you guys go
to just if you want to go out, go out.
If you want to meet online, I say, shoot your
shots on all of it. That's what I would say.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, I think an open mind is important with both.
I agree more beneficial if you if you meet them
face to face and you or you recognize this person
face to face in a kaffe or a bar, or
a restaurant or the gym, because then you get more
of a sense of what their natural energy is like.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
So then are we doomed because we didn't have that?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
No, I don't. I don't agree with the whole logic.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
And people meet online and stay together for the rest
of the lives like we probably will do.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Probably what's the probably it was to get that reaction.
Oh see, this is what men do just to get
a reaction. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Honestly when it comes to dating, see, as long as
it's safe and you're intelligent, I don't think this was
a right or wrong way to meet.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Amen to that. Robin Wright reflects on raising children with
ex husband Sean Penn. We were both extremes. Robin is
the first to admit that she has regrets as a parent.
I have a huge regret as a mother and have
experienced the fallout of this regret for many years with
my kids. I wasn't hard enough on them right fifty nine,
told The Times of London an interview The House of
(11:29):
Cards actors shares two children, Dylan and Hopper, with her
ex husband Sean Penn. According to Wright, Sean was the
stricter parent, but he was gone so much of the time.
He'd come back and be the policeman and then he'd
leave me with the residue. Then I would soften the blow.
We were both extremes. They didn't get that gray area
in the middle. Gosh, this should just episode called the
(11:50):
gray Area, which is stern and that is what they needed.
Who do you think is the harder parent or I
guess the sterner parent between the roles.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Here, I think it's a loaded question.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
I think I'm relaxed on some things that you're strict about,
and I'm strict on some things that you're.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Relaxed to it, which is a nice blend.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
But I tend to go from like you've got a
gradual process when it comes to your disciplining, I've got
what do you mean, Like you'll communicate more to get
to a point where you start to get angry with them,
or you are a boundaries being broke, whereas I'm more
straight away no you don't, don't do that, or I'll
(12:36):
raise my voice slightly, or so I think I get
to the bad cops sooner than what you do. But
I think we've got a mix of both.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
It's interesting you say that, though, because the reaction that
you gave me when I go to bad cop is like, oh,
but I'm like, like to your point example, well, like
the other day at dinner, I had said, please eat
your food, please eat your food, please stop talking, please
eat your food. By like the third or fifth time.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
A gradual process. That's what I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
You're freaking food now, Like I stop talking and it's
like but it's like you gave me the look of thought,
well if I did that, and I'm like, please pipe
in fricking okay, I was having a really bad day.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
So if I would have and here's a difference. Here's
a difference between when I speak and when you speak.
Because if I would have used the words that you
used and the tone that you used it I would
have come across as the Scottish devil m Whereas yeah,
I would have said that to you. That's why I
looked at you like, well.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Because mom can. But I think it's I rarely have
that last because I because I do do the gradual
thing and they usually listen. But it's when I have
to get to like the fifth time, that's where and
if I'm offline already and then it's just my head pops.
But I do think think it's difficult in the co parenting.
(14:03):
It is and it isn't like I think you've now
started to be helpful with the bigs because I don't
want to always be the parent that is correcting them
because the when they go to their dads one day
a week, you know, it's like, what's seven, seven or
eight days a month. It's like they get the they
don't really have rules there, you know, like the rule.
(14:24):
I'll take that back. I know they have rules and
my ex and I are very aligned on manners and
things like that, but when it comes to things like
their rooms and putting things away, and we have more
structured things like that here, and so when I'm the
one riding them, it's it's like I don't want them
to then go. She was always so strict and they
(14:46):
don't want to come you know what I mean. Like
and so it's like I would like to have that
balance with you to come in more. And I think
that's happened before where I said can you please? When
you do hear me go for like the third correction,
can you please come in? And it's he goes, and well,
you're handling it. I don't want to handle it every time.
I don't. I don't want to be the only one
handling it. It becomes frustrating. I don't want to be
(15:09):
the always on them parent. What no, No, I'm just I'm
like me like it. Oh no, no, no, dumb like
I mean, like you know, I'm like, it's like a
I work good. I'm just but you know what I'm saying.
And then we've talked about that so many times and
you have gotten better at helping correct them.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
I'm a lot more strength on. I would rather bring
them up to be more self sufficient. What is your
quickert to jump to help them?
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, and now.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Your response is to jump to help them. My response
is to not figure it out for yourself. And if
you need help, come and ask me.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
And because of that, then they come to me. And
then it feels and it's like I want them to
be able to feel comfortable in coming to you. And
so if you always say do it yourself, I'm like, Alan,
please like ask if they can, and if they're not,
they're coming to you. So just like sometimes it's it's
like a it's a blend. But I think both of
our upbringings and different values and views are a good blend.
(16:08):
And I think it's I think it's good. I think
it's good. It's all it's all a work in progress,
but I love you, babe. This was a good one.
I'm excited for the month ahead. We've got a lot
coming up. I've got Vegas coming up in September for iHeart.
We've got Paris, One Tree Hill Convention, ball Break, we
(16:29):
just planned that. I'm really excited, and you got your
app coming out, so it's a it's going to be
a fun, hopefully god willing. This is where I get
like really like superstitious about everything, but I'm glad to
be on this journey with you.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
It's not a probably. We're gonna last forever and ever
and ever. Okay, bye bye
Host
Jana Kramer
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