October 2, 2025 • 22 mins
Jana and Allan are answering YOUR questions and nothing is off limits!
Find out the one habit that keeps them connected even when they’re physically apart, hear what goes down in their DMs, and if the podcast is actually improving their relationship!
Plus, Jana reveals the one thing she hides from Allan in her phone!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
So this episode is very timely Q and A because
we're about to have a big Q and I real,
Yeah we are well Bert if our marriage is legal.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
The Green celt.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I've actually never been I was. I have not been
nervous about it at all. I have not been nervous
about this upcoming Green card meeting, but I've I keep
having two things kind of freaked me out a little bit.
So when I went to go get my nails send
my sweet my sweet lady Sylvia was saying, how we
have to know the exact information and then you have
(00:48):
to know. The other day Alan walked in, he goes,
but you got to send me a family photo. So
he's going through the family photo and apparently you have
to name every person in the family photo.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
You not necessarily, No, it depends who you get us.
Like every part of life, it depends who you've got
in front of you and who you're dealing with. You
could have an absolute I don't know if I can
say that well done here an awkward person who hates
the job. Because if someone that's pleasant and actually sees
you for who you are and like, okay, let's get
through this. But it depends who we get in the day.
(01:20):
Could that the lawyer said, we could be in and
out in twenty minutes or it could be forty five
fifty minutes.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
But the thing is is, if you're having to go
through this family photo, he was like all right, and
then I'm like, okay, this is my cousin and You're like,
oh shoot shoot shoot shoot uh And I'm like jeszz
Like I was like, and their kids' names are and
I'm like, this is crazy. So last night we were
talking about this and I'm like, this just seems so
(01:47):
archaic that we have to prove that our marriage is legal.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
It seems so what archaic what that means like old?
Oh right, okay, good what babe?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Thank you. I don't know if I used it correctly,
but thank you. It's just it feels so old school
where it's like we have to actually do this, like
we have a kid, we're married.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
It doesn't mark. So many people do it for the
wrong reason.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Well, I know my nail girl did. She was saying
She's like yeah, she was saying that they before she
had gotten married. That's which you know she did to
get in here. And so she was telling me and
she's like, yeah, you have to know this news from that,
and I was like, well, I don't remember the first
day that we met. I don't. I'm like, I'm supposed
to know that. So I come home yesterday I'm like, Babe,
(02:34):
we need to get our answers aligned.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
We need to know. But at some little person who's
of you in this frigging cut.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Nothing to hate, I know, But this is the thing
where I go two sides. I am I. When I
want someone to like me, I go overboard. So I'm
already walking in wanted to be like, like I baked
the bread.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
There's a nineteen nine percent chance you get this.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well, I know. And that's the thing. If they just
stare at me, I my mission in life. This is
like this is maybe this is a toxic trait. I
don't know, but when I used to be on stage,
there'd be a person that was just staring at me.
And normally it's the person that ends up being like
your biggest fan, but they'll just stare at you, and
I'm like this person and the entire show, I'm like,
(03:21):
this person hates me, and that's all I can think
about during my show, this person's staring at me, mean
mugging me. They hate me so much, they don't want
to be here. They got drag shared by their best
friend who's right next to them. Like this is my
inner dialogue. Right when I'm at a show and someone
just stares at me, I think all this stuff, and
so I then try so hard to like make this
person smile, laugh right, like have some sort of like
(03:44):
I won, like I won them over, you know. So
this is how I feel like I'm gonna be with
this interviewer. Like I feel like we're going to get
the guy from the Proposal with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Block,
and I'm just going to try to like make him
smile and make a joke. I kind of wanted to
start the IMMA the meeting off being like I aren't
he forced me here, which I don't think is going
(04:06):
to go well. So I feel like I'm We're either
going to end up I'm going to end up in jail,
or like our marriage is going to be like what
happens if they don't believe us?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Babe, You've got to You've got to recognize the type
of people who go into this room. Think about all
that cool countries in all the world where people are
trying to get in out of good intent, the people
who are trying to go in without that good intent
(04:38):
and the lying about the marriage. But you're talking about
people in situations, in couples and fake couples from all
countries and all walks of life.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Well, your lawyer said, apparently a lot of people lie, right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Those people that there's people that get married just to
get a green card. But I don't think we need
to go on and you need to worry about winning
someone over or like, loo.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Good, did you marry me just to get a green card?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Be serious? I agree a green card through Chicago. They
have been a professional coach.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Well, I'm really glad that we're doing a Q and
A episode so we are aligned in our answers because
come Thursday we need to be in Unison.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
It's funny because you go to the place of if
someone stay on that year, like you want to win
them over, whereas I'm like, okay, stay on that you've
got a problem. As I go the opposite way. But
I've learned with these people when it comes to the
government that they're overworked they're overrun, and they're probably underpaid,
(05:49):
and they're just trying to get one couple in the
door and one out one and one out, one and one.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Out, and they probably cannot stand people like me that
are trying to make them laugh. And I'm sure do Joe.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Listen if there's a guy who's going to love the
fact that you've.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Walked in not really Yeah, nope.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Anyway, ce Andy, let's get it started. What's one habit?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Well, this is like, this is like our immigration lawyer
or the immigration guy. I mean, these are like we
had to take this serious, babe, go ahead, Sorry.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Okay, what's one habit you do that helps to keep
your connection strong when you're busy or a part you're
going to answer this as a podcast mostly you're going
to answer it is the I of you.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I would be like, oh, honey, you know you know
what now.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Habit that helps you strong and more busier.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
So we've been doing this thing, and I don't know
if you've noticed.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
But if I've noticed, we've been doing a thing. And
I don't know if I've noticed.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, if you've intentionally noticed what I've been doing enlightened me.
So I like we've been busy, We've got a lot
going on or very tired with everything in the sports
and the kids in Roman especially especially and uh, I've
noticed some nights that were on our phones and scrolling
(07:16):
and doing that, and we've kind of just been watching
shows mindlessly where the last it's not obviously every night,
but it's been about like one night a week where
we just I just start asking you questions, and to me,
that has helped. Are you laughing?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
This is just funny?
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Why I love you?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Is this funny?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I love connecting with you. And sometimes I'm like, I
don't know how his family's doing. I don't know what's
been going on with you, or if you got to
have a new client or you know what I'm saying though,
Like and so it's like, hey, have you talked to
your mom or your dad? Or how how was how's
your brother doing? Or you know, how is this happy?
Blah blah blah. And so just having for me, keeping
(08:02):
connection together is just talking to you and asking you,
how are you? What's been going on? And I've been
trying to make sure we have at least once a
week or we're just no distractions, no phones, no TV,
and we're just talking because after even last night, when
we did it last night, I felt so much more
connected to you.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Have you liked that? Have you done I wasn't trying
to get a pad in the back.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
But that's good. I liked that and I actually noticed it.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Do you like it? Do you feel more connected afterwards?
That's good? What about you?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I think we've been good on date nights recently. Yeah,
I think with a lot of that type of thing together.
I think we're good at I think we're good at
checking them through the day. Yeah, okay, nothing nothing planned
strategically your evening.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I just liked it. My husband and I've been married
for two years and we are complete opposites when it
comes to our love languages. How should we go about
meeting each other's needs so we both know what we
(09:23):
need and feel loved?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Do they think they know each of those love languages?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Well, I think it's important to know that.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah, they might not even know it, Like I know that.
I you love me organizing things or helping out or
being off the cuff with like inviting you to date night.
So doing things that help get stuff done. But you
don't need to ask. I'm not saying yeah, definitely. I mean,
(09:51):
I think my my love language has changed. So I
used to really be touch in words of affirmation, which
I still love, but I acts of sera was at
my lowest and now it's it's.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Creeping up to the top. Why do you think that
as I just need help, I'm overworked, I'm over just
like my brain spins. I just I need help and
that I feel love when I have that help.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Okay, well hopefully they're a good job.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, but I think it's important to figure out obviously,
you know, when it comes to it, you know, it
might not be the like, what do you think your
top one.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Is my love language is? Yeah? I thought no.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Well, so the only way that I will be able
to meet you there is if you know what that
is so I can love you. You know, like if
someone's is gifts, which is like my my absolute lowest.
I do not care about gifts. That does not show
me love at all. But you could buy me gifts
all the time and be like, well don't you love it.
I'm like, well, yeah, but that's not how. That doesn't
(10:51):
speak love to me. So but if that's yours, then
I would need to know that's how you receive love,
so you should do the g.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, I'll there.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Does Mike ever get mad that Alan has more time with.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
The kids, Oh no, he asked Mike. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I think if he wanted it more time, he could
ask for it.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
But I think he knows that you would be open
to them.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
So it's still seventy thirty.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, No, I don't. I don't think. I don't think
he actually does get mud.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
No, I think he's happy and listen. I always think
it's good to talk to the co parent too. You know,
there's times when it's hey, can you keep them this Sunday?
And having that communication, which I think is important when
you're co parenting with with someone else, you know. But
(11:48):
there hasn't been a fight over the time or that
you have more time. I think it he doesn't love
that fact, but that you have him more.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
But I don't think any father does.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
There also isn't a never there's never been a fight
for fifty to fifty.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Do you feel like hosting this podcast together has brought
you closer? Of course, more fights. I think it's brought
us closer. I think it highlights certain things. Yeah, that
we then sometimes we'll discuss after the podcast. I mean
there's been times where leads to the next question. You
(12:27):
ever recorded an episode right after a big fight? How
did that go? I think that's Sometimes we've recorded an
episode on the back of a debate or a disagreement,
which is that which has then been tough? Has it
bought Has it brought us closer? I think it probably has.
But those things where it kind of it doesn't push
(12:48):
each other away from like like there there, You're like
more energy, more energy, quicker, whereas I'm not like that.
I'm yeah, you asked me a question. I'm going to
think about it properly. Yeah, before I answer, I'm like,
stop clicking your fingers, stop rushing me. It's not how
I operate.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Yeah, it's I don't think this is a forever thing.
Like I think this is we're doing it right now,
you know, because we enjoy doing it. But I think,
you know, this is we're letting a piece of our
life out there. But I don't think this is I mean,
wind Down has been, you know, my show for seven
plus years. I mean, the girls this has been just
(13:26):
a little fun thing to bring in. But I don't
think it's It hasn't helped or hurt. But I don't
think it's I don't think it's your world. If that
makes sense, it's not.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Well, no, it depends alviously what I'm talking about as well,
Like I'm a really private person. Just to go to
some of.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
These having a podcast, it's just probably not.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
No, that's different because you're can have a podcast on
when you're a viewing people a bit certain things. You
can have a podcast on strikers or football or sport.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, yeah, that's true. No, but I'm just saying like,
that's not that's something that my wine, like my wind
down listeners don't want to hear about.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
So it's you know, well, let me ask you this.
Do you look forward to us podcasting together.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I enjoy podcasting with you, But again I don't think
it's like our it doesn't. I enjoy it, but it's not.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yeah, it's something that's a lot more natural for you
than it is for me. Like, especially when we're discussing
personal things, it becomes really difficult for me. But when
you're interviewing someone or discussing a subject, then it's it's
a lot easier for me than I have an opinion
on I don't have to worry about privacy and stuff. Yeah,
(14:42):
if you had to rate your partners fluting skills, and
I want to tend scale, what would you give them?
Is their fluttering getting worse since being together? I think
I think as you grow together, your fluttering becomes more direct.
The can what you want.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Mm hmm. I get sad for like the art of that,
that the art of flirting goes away when you're in
a marriage.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I don't think flopping it. I don't flink, I don't flink.
I don't flink. I don't think it's right away for us.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
No, I mean, I still think it's there for us.
But I think in a lot of marriages that piece
kind of goes away. And I think there's something and
I think we do actually a good job of it.
But I love that because it gives you that the butterfly.
I don't know, I just I think it's a it's
something to you know, be reminded of that. But we
(15:40):
all loved in the beginning of dating, right and following
in excitement, and I think it's what this is surprise
dates or this that and the other. Just how you
you know, a text message something kind of out of
the blue, can ignite a spark that might help, you know,
a marriage that is feeling. Don't not us though.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
I think No. I think we did a good job
of it, and it's not easy with heads everywhere.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Do either of you still get flirty d ms from
the opposite sex?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
No, lies, I actually don't. No, No, not at all.
I think that's one thing of it has been so
public as people know the situation, don't they.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah, but I've also known people to not care about that.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah, but no, I have not of you.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Yeah, I'll get, I'll get. I get a lot of
feet ones, which is very disturbing. Yeah, like sexy feet.
Anytime I ever show my feet, I get the gross
d MS about show me your feet, sexy feet, like
I want to I want to suck your feet, And
I'm like.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Ah, I want to suck your feet.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
You get I do not tax dms. Yeah, it's very weird.
People have like a foot fetish.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
You feel nice.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Thanks, But I've never gotten anything else besides that, because
again we're obviously people can tell himmo and married happily.
Has there ever been a time you hit something on
your phone from each other?
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah? Last night?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Oh god, Alan, it's so cross you cannot No.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Nothing saidise though, but like I wanted to show you
that last night and that you can't do that. That's
your wife.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Would you like to explain because people don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I don't want to explain. No, let's just say I've
had a really sot tummy lately the last three days.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Why do men feel the need to take a picture
of their poop?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Why did you just going disclose what it was my.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I just I didn't say that's what it was, but
thank you for I'm just curious and did you chat you.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Yeah, that's kind of a handling that a chat GPT.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Listen, I my phone is an open book always having
said that, I don't know if I want you to
see my CHATCHEPT. So I think that is the I
think that's the moral of the story because there are
things in my chat Gebut for example, like last night,
while you were stressing about the I don't know, I
(18:28):
didn't see it. What happened in that photo I was
chat gbting I had these like three little bites on
my leg after I did my testosterone shot, and I'm like,
am I having allergic reaction? And then it was like
you could be here are the things would you like
me to disclose it? I was like, yes please, and
they're like, all right, if your throat starts to close up,
(18:48):
I'm like, I think my throat's closing up. What do
I do now? And so I'm like asking chatchept all
these questions where it's like you would look at my
phone and be like you are the biggest hypochondriac ever.
So I will gladly show you any message in my phone,
but I do not want you to see my chat GPT.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Likewise, I wanted to see my chat GPT from last night,
but there's nothing. You can see everything else my chat.
My chat et is like strike a psychology. But yeah,
I don't look at last night.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
What a world?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Yeah? Is there something you shared on this podcast you'd
wish you'd never shared?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Every day of my life? I'm kidding. I mean there's
many things I wish I didn't share on Yeah. I
mean many things this podcast have you because I feel
like you got a little Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I think the I think probably the And this is
where my honesty comes into Thames and that too, because
I feel I feel that it was a positive thing
that I don't and the master pay and made a
bricking headline, So yeah, I had never shared that.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Why because it's just not.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
A headline I want associated with a professional striker coach
on Google.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
But that shows that you're an honorable It.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Does, but it's also man absolutely does, which is why
I had the reaction that I had. But it was
when you were scared about what I was going to think.
I was like, well, be a lot worse. Yeah, but
I'm also like, yeah, I probably wish it wasn't out there,
But then again, I'm not completely embarrassed by it or
(20:34):
and I own it that it was the truth, and
there's nothing that onely thing I can say is it
could have been a lot worse. Yeah, and I think
I could have been the opposite way.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
There's many times where it's you see a headline and
you're just like why, But again, you want to be honest,
you want to share, and sometimes the cost of sharing
they pick up the most ridiculous things, like I didn't
want them to pick up they picked up some story
that I I mean, I mean, uh plenty, but I'm
just like, why, I don't want everyone knowing that I
(21:04):
just wanted to share with my wine down listeners, not
everybody on us weekly or tmzer people.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
That's so, what do we live in?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
This isn't fair. But there's that.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
So apart from that one. Now there's nothing that I've
regretted sharing on here. That's good. Okay, So.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Let's see if we're back next week, if our marriage
is legit or not.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I'm still in the country.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Well, god, what they did for you.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Oh they wouldn't topport me. I've got my work authorization,
my travel authorization. There's no reason for them not to play. Okay,
box ticked on you go, Like in the old administration,
they wouldn't even have interviewed this.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Well anyways, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
But whatever. I'm not getting into politics because I don't
know enough around that.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I know. You just asked me the other day what
left wing and right wing? Was?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Yeah, I did, because I have zero interest in politics
and I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
And he said, and what are the left believing? We're
the right believe in? And you go, and what do
we and you go. The cutest thing was and what
do we believe in? And I was like, right in
the middle, baby, like Smike buying on the fence. H
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
So this episode is very timely Q and A because
we're about to have a big Q and I real,
Yeah we are well Bert if our marriage is legal.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
The Green celt.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I've actually never been I was. I have not been
nervous about it at all. I have not been nervous
about this upcoming Green card meeting, but I've I keep
having two things kind of freaked me out a little bit.
So when I went to go get my nails send
my sweet my sweet lady Sylvia was saying, how we
have to know the exact information and then you have
(00:48):
to know. The other day Alan walked in, he goes,
but you got to send me a family photo. So
he's going through the family photo and apparently you have
to name every person in the family photo.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
You not necessarily, No, it depends who you get us.
Like every part of life, it depends who you've got
in front of you and who you're dealing with. You
could have an absolute I don't know if I can
say that well done here an awkward person who hates
the job. Because if someone that's pleasant and actually sees
you for who you are and like, okay, let's get
through this. But it depends who we get in the day.
(01:20):
Could that the lawyer said, we could be in and
out in twenty minutes or it could be forty five
fifty minutes.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
But the thing is is, if you're having to go
through this family photo, he was like all right, and
then I'm like, okay, this is my cousin and You're like,
oh shoot shoot shoot shoot uh And I'm like jeszz
Like I was like, and their kids' names are and
I'm like, this is crazy. So last night we were
talking about this and I'm like, this just seems so
(01:47):
archaic that we have to prove that our marriage is legal.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
It seems so what archaic what that means like old?
Oh right, okay, good what babe?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Thank you. I don't know if I used it correctly,
but thank you. It's just it feels so old school
where it's like we have to actually do this, like
we have a kid, we're married.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
It doesn't mark. So many people do it for the
wrong reason.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Well, I know my nail girl did. She was saying
She's like yeah, she was saying that they before she
had gotten married. That's which you know she did to
get in here. And so she was telling me and
she's like, yeah, you have to know this news from that,
and I was like, well, I don't remember the first
day that we met. I don't. I'm like, I'm supposed
to know that. So I come home yesterday I'm like, Babe,
(02:34):
we need to get our answers aligned.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
We need to know. But at some little person who's
of you in this frigging cut.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Nothing to hate, I know, But this is the thing
where I go two sides. I am I. When I
want someone to like me, I go overboard. So I'm
already walking in wanted to be like, like I baked
the bread.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
There's a nineteen nine percent chance you get this.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well, I know. And that's the thing. If they just
stare at me, I my mission in life. This is
like this is maybe this is a toxic trait. I
don't know, but when I used to be on stage,
there'd be a person that was just staring at me.
And normally it's the person that ends up being like
your biggest fan, but they'll just stare at you, and
I'm like this person and the entire show, I'm like,
(03:21):
this person hates me, and that's all I can think
about during my show, this person's staring at me, mean
mugging me. They hate me so much, they don't want
to be here. They got drag shared by their best
friend who's right next to them. Like this is my
inner dialogue. Right when I'm at a show and someone
just stares at me, I think all this stuff, and
so I then try so hard to like make this
person smile, laugh right, like have some sort of like
(03:44):
I won, like I won them over, you know. So
this is how I feel like I'm gonna be with
this interviewer. Like I feel like we're going to get
the guy from the Proposal with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Block,
and I'm just going to try to like make him
smile and make a joke. I kind of wanted to
start the IMMA the meeting off being like I aren't
he forced me here, which I don't think is going
(04:06):
to go well. So I feel like I'm We're either
going to end up I'm going to end up in jail,
or like our marriage is going to be like what
happens if they don't believe us?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Babe, You've got to You've got to recognize the type
of people who go into this room. Think about all
that cool countries in all the world where people are
trying to get in out of good intent, the people
who are trying to go in without that good intent
(04:38):
and the lying about the marriage. But you're talking about
people in situations, in couples and fake couples from all
countries and all walks of life.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Well, your lawyer said, apparently a lot of people lie, right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Those people that there's people that get married just to
get a green card. But I don't think we need
to go on and you need to worry about winning
someone over or like, loo.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Good, did you marry me just to get a green card?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Be serious? I agree a green card through Chicago. They
have been a professional coach.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Well, I'm really glad that we're doing a Q and
A episode so we are aligned in our answers because
come Thursday we need to be in Unison.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
It's funny because you go to the place of if
someone stay on that year, like you want to win
them over, whereas I'm like, okay, stay on that you've
got a problem. As I go the opposite way. But
I've learned with these people when it comes to the
government that they're overworked they're overrun, and they're probably underpaid,
(05:49):
and they're just trying to get one couple in the
door and one out one and one out, one and one.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Out, and they probably cannot stand people like me that
are trying to make them laugh. And I'm sure do Joe.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Listen if there's a guy who's going to love the
fact that you've.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Walked in not really Yeah, nope.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Anyway, ce Andy, let's get it started. What's one habit?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Well, this is like, this is like our immigration lawyer
or the immigration guy. I mean, these are like we
had to take this serious, babe, go ahead, Sorry.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Okay, what's one habit you do that helps to keep
your connection strong when you're busy or a part you're
going to answer this as a podcast mostly you're going
to answer it is the I of you.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I would be like, oh, honey, you know you know
what now.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Habit that helps you strong and more busier.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
So we've been doing this thing, and I don't know
if you've noticed.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
But if I've noticed, we've been doing a thing. And
I don't know if I've noticed.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, if you've intentionally noticed what I've been doing enlightened me.
So I like we've been busy, We've got a lot
going on or very tired with everything in the sports
and the kids in Roman especially especially and uh, I've
noticed some nights that were on our phones and scrolling
(07:16):
and doing that, and we've kind of just been watching
shows mindlessly where the last it's not obviously every night,
but it's been about like one night a week where
we just I just start asking you questions, and to me,
that has helped. Are you laughing?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
This is just funny?
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Why I love you?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Is this funny?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I love connecting with you. And sometimes I'm like, I
don't know how his family's doing. I don't know what's
been going on with you, or if you got to
have a new client or you know what I'm saying though,
Like and so it's like, hey, have you talked to
your mom or your dad? Or how how was how's
your brother doing? Or you know, how is this happy?
Blah blah blah. And so just having for me, keeping
(08:02):
connection together is just talking to you and asking you,
how are you? What's been going on? And I've been
trying to make sure we have at least once a
week or we're just no distractions, no phones, no TV,
and we're just talking because after even last night, when
we did it last night, I felt so much more
connected to you.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Have you liked that? Have you done I wasn't trying
to get a pad in the back.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
But that's good. I liked that and I actually noticed it.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Do you like it? Do you feel more connected afterwards?
That's good? What about you?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I think we've been good on date nights recently. Yeah,
I think with a lot of that type of thing together.
I think we're good at I think we're good at
checking them through the day. Yeah, okay, nothing nothing planned
strategically your evening.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I just liked it. My husband and I've been married
for two years and we are complete opposites when it
comes to our love languages. How should we go about
meeting each other's needs so we both know what we
(09:23):
need and feel loved?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Do they think they know each of those love languages?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Well, I think it's important to know that.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah, they might not even know it, Like I know that.
I you love me organizing things or helping out or
being off the cuff with like inviting you to date night.
So doing things that help get stuff done. But you
don't need to ask. I'm not saying yeah, definitely. I mean,
(09:51):
I think my my love language has changed. So I
used to really be touch in words of affirmation, which
I still love, but I acts of sera was at
my lowest and now it's it's.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Creeping up to the top. Why do you think that
as I just need help, I'm overworked, I'm over just
like my brain spins. I just I need help and
that I feel love when I have that help.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Okay, well hopefully they're a good job.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, but I think it's important to figure out obviously,
you know, when it comes to it, you know, it
might not be the like, what do you think your
top one.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Is my love language is? Yeah? I thought no.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Well, so the only way that I will be able
to meet you there is if you know what that
is so I can love you. You know, like if
someone's is gifts, which is like my my absolute lowest.
I do not care about gifts. That does not show
me love at all. But you could buy me gifts
all the time and be like, well don't you love it.
I'm like, well, yeah, but that's not how. That doesn't
(10:51):
speak love to me. So but if that's yours, then
I would need to know that's how you receive love,
so you should do the g.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, I'll there.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Does Mike ever get mad that Alan has more time with.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
The kids, Oh no, he asked Mike. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I think if he wanted it more time, he could
ask for it.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
But I think he knows that you would be open
to them.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
So it's still seventy thirty.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, No, I don't. I don't think. I don't think
he actually does get mud.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
No, I think he's happy and listen. I always think
it's good to talk to the co parent too. You know,
there's times when it's hey, can you keep them this Sunday?
And having that communication, which I think is important when
you're co parenting with with someone else, you know. But
(11:48):
there hasn't been a fight over the time or that
you have more time. I think it he doesn't love
that fact, but that you have him more.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
But I don't think any father does.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
There also isn't a never there's never been a fight
for fifty to fifty.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Do you feel like hosting this podcast together has brought
you closer? Of course, more fights. I think it's brought
us closer. I think it highlights certain things. Yeah, that
we then sometimes we'll discuss after the podcast. I mean
there's been times where leads to the next question. You
(12:27):
ever recorded an episode right after a big fight? How
did that go? I think that's Sometimes we've recorded an
episode on the back of a debate or a disagreement,
which is that which has then been tough? Has it
bought Has it brought us closer? I think it probably has.
But those things where it kind of it doesn't push
(12:48):
each other away from like like there there, You're like
more energy, more energy, quicker, whereas I'm not like that.
I'm yeah, you asked me a question. I'm going to
think about it properly. Yeah, before I answer, I'm like,
stop clicking your fingers, stop rushing me. It's not how
I operate.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Yeah, it's I don't think this is a forever thing.
Like I think this is we're doing it right now,
you know, because we enjoy doing it. But I think,
you know, this is we're letting a piece of our
life out there. But I don't think this is I mean,
wind Down has been, you know, my show for seven
plus years. I mean, the girls this has been just
(13:26):
a little fun thing to bring in. But I don't
think it's It hasn't helped or hurt. But I don't
think it's I don't think it's your world. If that
makes sense, it's not.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Well, no, it depends alviously what I'm talking about as well,
Like I'm a really private person. Just to go to
some of.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
These having a podcast, it's just probably not.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
No, that's different because you're can have a podcast on
when you're a viewing people a bit certain things. You
can have a podcast on strikers or football or sport.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, yeah, that's true. No, but I'm just saying like,
that's not that's something that my wine, like my wind
down listeners don't want to hear about.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
So it's you know, well, let me ask you this.
Do you look forward to us podcasting together.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I enjoy podcasting with you, But again I don't think
it's like our it doesn't. I enjoy it, but it's not.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yeah, it's something that's a lot more natural for you
than it is for me. Like, especially when we're discussing
personal things, it becomes really difficult for me. But when
you're interviewing someone or discussing a subject, then it's it's
a lot easier for me than I have an opinion
on I don't have to worry about privacy and stuff. Yeah,
(14:42):
if you had to rate your partners fluting skills, and
I want to tend scale, what would you give them?
Is their fluttering getting worse since being together? I think
I think as you grow together, your fluttering becomes more direct.
The can what you want.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Mm hmm. I get sad for like the art of that,
that the art of flirting goes away when you're in
a marriage.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I don't think flopping it. I don't flink, I don't flink.
I don't flink. I don't think it's right away for us.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
No, I mean, I still think it's there for us.
But I think in a lot of marriages that piece
kind of goes away. And I think there's something and
I think we do actually a good job of it.
But I love that because it gives you that the butterfly.
I don't know, I just I think it's a it's
something to you know, be reminded of that. But we
(15:40):
all loved in the beginning of dating, right and following
in excitement, and I think it's what this is surprise
dates or this that and the other. Just how you
you know, a text message something kind of out of
the blue, can ignite a spark that might help, you know,
a marriage that is feeling. Don't not us though.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
I think No. I think we did a good job
of it, and it's not easy with heads everywhere.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Do either of you still get flirty d ms from
the opposite sex?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
No, lies, I actually don't. No, No, not at all.
I think that's one thing of it has been so
public as people know the situation, don't they.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah, but I've also known people to not care about that.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah, but no, I have not of you.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Yeah, I'll get, I'll get. I get a lot of
feet ones, which is very disturbing. Yeah, like sexy feet.
Anytime I ever show my feet, I get the gross
d MS about show me your feet, sexy feet, like
I want to I want to suck your feet, And
I'm like.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Ah, I want to suck your feet.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
You get I do not tax dms. Yeah, it's very weird.
People have like a foot fetish.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
You feel nice.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Thanks, But I've never gotten anything else besides that, because
again we're obviously people can tell himmo and married happily.
Has there ever been a time you hit something on
your phone from each other?
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah? Last night?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Oh god, Alan, it's so cross you cannot No.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Nothing saidise though, but like I wanted to show you
that last night and that you can't do that. That's
your wife.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Would you like to explain because people don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I don't want to explain. No, let's just say I've
had a really sot tummy lately the last three days.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Why do men feel the need to take a picture
of their poop?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Why did you just going disclose what it was my.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I just I didn't say that's what it was, but
thank you for I'm just curious and did you chat you.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Yeah, that's kind of a handling that a chat GPT.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Listen, I my phone is an open book always having
said that, I don't know if I want you to
see my CHATCHEPT. So I think that is the I
think that's the moral of the story because there are
things in my chat Gebut for example, like last night,
while you were stressing about the I don't know, I
(18:28):
didn't see it. What happened in that photo I was
chat gbting I had these like three little bites on
my leg after I did my testosterone shot, and I'm like,
am I having allergic reaction? And then it was like
you could be here are the things would you like
me to disclose it? I was like, yes please, and
they're like, all right, if your throat starts to close up,
(18:48):
I'm like, I think my throat's closing up. What do
I do now? And so I'm like asking chatchept all
these questions where it's like you would look at my
phone and be like you are the biggest hypochondriac ever.
So I will gladly show you any message in my phone,
but I do not want you to see my chat GPT.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Likewise, I wanted to see my chat GPT from last night,
but there's nothing. You can see everything else my chat.
My chat et is like strike a psychology. But yeah,
I don't look at last night.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
What a world?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Yeah? Is there something you shared on this podcast you'd
wish you'd never shared?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Every day of my life? I'm kidding. I mean there's
many things I wish I didn't share on Yeah. I
mean many things this podcast have you because I feel
like you got a little Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I think the I think probably the And this is
where my honesty comes into Thames and that too, because
I feel I feel that it was a positive thing
that I don't and the master pay and made a
bricking headline, So yeah, I had never shared that.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Why because it's just not.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
A headline I want associated with a professional striker coach
on Google.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
But that shows that you're an honorable It.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Does, but it's also man absolutely does, which is why
I had the reaction that I had. But it was
when you were scared about what I was going to think.
I was like, well, be a lot worse. Yeah, but
I'm also like, yeah, I probably wish it wasn't out there,
But then again, I'm not completely embarrassed by it or
(20:34):
and I own it that it was the truth, and
there's nothing that onely thing I can say is it
could have been a lot worse. Yeah, and I think
I could have been the opposite way.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
There's many times where it's you see a headline and
you're just like why, But again, you want to be honest,
you want to share, and sometimes the cost of sharing
they pick up the most ridiculous things, like I didn't
want them to pick up they picked up some story
that I I mean, I mean, uh plenty, but I'm
just like, why, I don't want everyone knowing that I
(21:04):
just wanted to share with my wine down listeners, not
everybody on us weekly or tmzer people.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
That's so, what do we live in?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
This isn't fair. But there's that.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
So apart from that one. Now there's nothing that I've
regretted sharing on here. That's good. Okay, So.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Let's see if we're back next week, if our marriage
is legit or not.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I'm still in the country.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Well, god, what they did for you.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Oh they wouldn't topport me. I've got my work authorization,
my travel authorization. There's no reason for them not to play. Okay,
box ticked on you go, Like in the old administration,
they wouldn't even have interviewed this.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Well anyways, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
But whatever. I'm not getting into politics because I don't
know enough around that.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I know. You just asked me the other day what
left wing and right wing? Was?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Yeah, I did, because I have zero interest in politics
and I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
And he said, and what are the left believing? We're
the right believe in? And you go, and what do
we and you go. The cutest thing was and what
do we believe in? And I was like, right in
the middle, baby, like Smike buying on the fence. H
Host
Jana Kramer
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