Augmented Reality

Kristen has something to get off her chest… about her chest. Jana and the ladies discuss the pros and cons of breast augmentations, and things get emotional when they open up about personal insecurities.

 

Plus, Jana shares the story of her breast implants, and how she feels about the procedure years later.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. Okay,
so something's missing on the couch and it is our Catherine.
She is live. When we do this on wind Down,
when we take the podcast on the road, we call

(00:22):
this segment Cat in the Field. So Cat, you're live
in the field, but you're only a few miles down
the road. Tell us Kat because she is too afraid
of the water that's on the roads.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
I see that now.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
Apparently there was one hour ago, but there is not anymore.
Having said that, like, I'm from Nashville, guys, y'all are
from Michigan. I don't like driving snow.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
I'm sorry, but I do.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
Nick literally just walked outside and he was like it's
all on.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
It's like, oh good.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Yeah. It was kind of no pun intended the perfect
storm because so Roman has COVID, but he's has really
bad he said, some really bad breathing the last few
nights and it's kind of turning into that creepy, creepy cough,
the breathing strider, all that stuff. So this morning, of course,

(01:14):
you know Alan's in London. You know there's this snowstorm,
and with Nashville, it's like one to three inches. But
with one inch we really got I don't know, I'd say,
like what inch and a half? Maybe I could see
the grass still through the snow, So i don't know
if it counts right. Well, school's off, but I'm like this,
this breathing is is not is not great. So I'm like,

(01:37):
I just I've been down this road with the kids before.
I'm like, he needs a steroid and so, you know,
lo and behold them. I'm like I'm thinking, I'm like,
all right, I can't get into I'd rather take Alan's
truck because that's got the four wheel and it's got
the you know, all that stuff, the off terrain drive truck.
So but I mean, it's covered in snow and I've

(01:58):
just got you know, him, poor thing, just like struggling
to breathe and putting you know, change in the car
seat and putting it in there. And at first, I'm like,
I don't know if this is a good idea at all,
because you know how that the subs don't look great.
But then all of a sudden we got back on
the roads. I'm like, oh, I'm from Michigan, Like I forget.
I'm like, I forget you know what I mean, Like
I got this, like I know how to do this.

(02:18):
And then when I got into the roads, I'm like, oh,
it's totally fine. That's when I called you. I was like, girl, hey,
you're a Michigan ass. Doesn't get over here. Yeah. And
now I was like, okay, girl, I feel good about it.
I'm just making sure all is ago and they pre
salted for us. And so then when I got out there,
I was like, well, this is like I do think
it is precious. If you didn't grow up in this weather,
it's probably really overwhelming. But for us, I mean, I
have a January third birthday right in Michigan. December second. Yeah, yeah,

(02:41):
like we're never going anywhere. But it's funny because Catherine,
So it's what roles can be so reversed on this
couch because when it's a thunderstorm, I mean tornado vibe.
Even if a little bit of thunder KB is like
everyone locked out. Like she's the girl on the plane
on Bridesmaids.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
She's like, it's going down.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
That's actually you get you on a plane. But that's
one thousand percent me on a plane. And now even worse, okay,
because of everything but you is just like it's because
you're just like lockdown Creamer, and I'm like Christen, it's
like five hours away, Like we're good. We ca'll put
a helmet on you and I will put you in
a safe room so fast. I have a bottle of distill.
And you're not really bad at that, right, No tornado

(03:24):
husband is like a tornado watch.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
I think for me though, the issue with this snow
is when I hear ice. Yeah, for sure, we have
a lot of ice storms here versus snow, and that's
where it's like you can't if you've got four wall drive,
it doesn't matter. And also to note, some roads aka
Brentwood and Franklin get pre salted and get plowed before

(03:49):
said smaller towns do, so that's also part of the Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
The issue, well, we're happy to have you on Zoom
via satellite from your remote location, and the.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Really hiding out in my bedroom because all the kids
are running around and but I'm glad I'm here, guys. Yay.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
I have to say I got to start with post chat,
but I would like to kick it off stuff. I
have to say, I after we posted the video, I
got sick to my stomach because I'm like, oh no,
I'm afraid to look at the comments because you know,
it's a very polarizing topic, some of the things that

(04:27):
we were talking about, i e. The vaccination stuff. But
is that, I e. Is that how you would use it?
I don't even know. We are really giant, so but
I was a few things that I just to recap
that episode a little bit that I found comforting and
what actually helped me this morning too, in the midst

(04:49):
of this perfect storm and him not being able to
breathe and literally the last two nights being on a
total of like two hours of sleep because I stare
at the monitor just being like, Kenny breathe. Oh my gosh,
you're going to him like and seeing is that in
that moment, I probably would have gone to like, oh,
I'm so alone because Alan's in London and you know,
I'm dealing with sick you know, sick kids and whatever.

(05:10):
But knowing all the messages that I got about and
even you guys too, I mean, I'm sure you guys
got us some as well, but like just being like,
you're not We're not alone in any of this, and
the things that we and all the stuff that's on
our plate. It was just so refreshing. And then in
moments like today, I'm like, all right, like I don't

(05:30):
I don't feel alone in this moment. You know, I'm
like I got this. I'm like rockstar, mom, let's go,
let's do this. Let's get there to the appointment and
you know, make sure he's okay. And so I just
there was a nice sense of like, yeah, we take
on a lot of stuff, but we're not alone, and
we're all in this together. And I think hearing from
everybody this week felt really nice to know, even though

(05:52):
I know we're all like with each other, but there's
a whole slew of moms out there that feel this
exact same way. I remember when you were talking last week,
thinking this is going to land in the hearts of
so many people, because I talked to friends at home
in Michigan and you know, girlfriends of mine in California,
and like, literally everyone feels these things down to the vaccination,

(06:13):
like all of it. I mean, it's there's no real
safe place we feel. We've created this incredible society where
we overshare and sometimes it works to our detriment, but
I feel like it can. It's just been so great
recently for to like kind of ground itself back to
like letting us feel like there's actually a community we're
all going through it. And it's interesting, is like, this
is the stuff that I normally wouldn't share because exactly

(06:35):
as a mom, like you just hold it all in.
So they do where I felt scared to when I
to share it. So I was like, oh, wait, no,
this is stuff that we can talk about. We can
share this. I can say I feel alone even in
a marriage, even though I'm not saying I feel alone
a within my marriage, you know, it's just the feeling
of it. So and I got a you know, a
listener DM she was like, you know, I can relate
to the lonely feeling as a divorce and remarried mom,

(06:57):
you know. So it's like there's I think that was
really nice. And also I've gotten some great feedback. I'm
following just the inserts on now Doctor Green Moom vaccine
friendly plan. So there's just a lot of people too
that have reached out with really good resources on both sides,
and ninety nine point nine percent of them were really
positive and very graceful. There was only like a one

(07:18):
percent word that were like, you're so terrible for sharing misinformation.
I'm like, actually, I'm trying to get information. Yeah. I
think you said it was miss but I think it
was just feel for information. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
I think I was reminded with this that, like people
can still have an open dialogue about things, like even
people that disagree.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
You know.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
It was kind of refreshing. I'm like, wow, and I
texted you all last night. I was like, I'm loving
these responses on both sides, you know. And I think
I was reminded too that a lot of people don't
know what they want, don't know what they want to do,
just like I feel like we all kind of feel
like that, you know, we're kind of stuck in this
place of do we do it? Do we not? I
feel this way. I don't feel this way, you know.

(08:02):
And I just think it was refreshing to see that.
I mean, I had a text last night at twelve
thirty from a friend I haven't heard from from in years,
and she was like, tell Jana that I said, blah
blah blah blahlah, here's my story, you know, and it's
just it's good to hear people's stories you know, on
why they do vaccinate and why they may not or
why they're scared. You know, it was refreshing. I was

(08:25):
really happy to see the positive feedback from that, for sure.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
I love that. I also think it's most like when
we do the live show, we openly share so much.
I think that's why we've enjoyed this format so much,
and what we get from the road when we're out
with people is that same feeling. And I think it's
just been really like, I will be really honest with
both of you. I was terrified to go to this format,
not because I don't love you desperately, but in our

(08:51):
little triangle of friendship, we are so unafraid to give
each other honest feedback or to like, you know, speak
life or to truth or whatever. But I got nervous
to open it up because I feel the anxiousness of
like the world's just ready to attack and for And
it's been really like I even said to you last night, Cat,
I was like, I'm not reading the comments, like I
don't want to see it because it really does hurt

(09:13):
my feelings. People will hurt my feelings pretty easily, so
I guard myself. But it's been so incredible. It feels
so I don't know, it just feel so genuine, and
I think that's why we all get along. And I
feel like we get to plug into our community better
when we say the hard stuff because we're being honest.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
I felt the opposite. I was really really excited to
do this and do it this way and get to
talk about this stuff. Like comments hurt my feelings also,
but I just feel so much.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
More true to myself.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
And fulfilled when we're able to get on here and
we're able to just talk and just like, you know,
just we don't know, we don't know what we're doing
half the time as moms, and we can just talk
and everybody can you know, give us feedback. I just
I love this format. I think it's been great.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, I mean so much so that I I'm calling
Katherine'm like, I know you're not a nurse, but okay,
so because he was having one hundred and five fevers,
I'm like calling her, I'm all right, so how many
hours in between can I because it's like you can
google it, but you know, it's like to go to
the people and we're glad that you guys are our
people listening. So it's right. We love you. We might
not have all the answers clearly or know the things,

(10:19):
but it is what. Thanks for listening, Thanks for being here,
Thanks for being here, Thanks for being a homie. Let's
unpin something. Oh, because it's been pinned a while. Catherine

(10:41):
and I have kind of sabotaged the host chat topic
the last few episodes, and you're just bursting out of
the shirt to tell us about your boobs. Well, I'm
barely bursting, So you guys, are you I might get
emotional talking about this, Well, it'd be three weeks in
a row of cry. Let's go for it, okay. So

(11:04):
I can feel the tears coming, Okay, bring it, let
it way. I feel so ridiculous, said it feel ridiculous. Okay,
I need to get it together. So did you tell
me to get it together last week when I was crying? No,
you said I wanted to get on my lap. I did, okay, So,

(11:25):
and ironically, my boobs are on my lap, so that
would be a good segue. So I was a late bloomer.
I'm going to take you back to a cold day
in nineteen ninety six, the back brace. Yeah, you guys,
like I want to, I do want a little framework care.
I did have a back brace in seventh grade Eden Inhaler,
life was not charming in middle school. I was a
late bloomer. I think because of the surgery. It was

(11:45):
a pretty massive surgery. It was a nine hour surgery.
They corrected my scoliosis. They put rods in my back.
Because of that, I think I menstruted later in life.
We are over sharing today unapologetically. When did what age
did you menstroy? Sixteen and a half? Okay, okay, So
I remember that because I remember thinking I don't actually
I'll say it. I remember being nervous that I wasn't.

(12:08):
I had a serious boyfriend, and I was like, I
don't even think I can have sex all have a period.
Like I was so confused and scared, you know, which
is probably why no one should do that. Stay abstinate.
So I say all that because I didn't. Nothing really
came in for me until I was like nineteen. My
boobs didn't come in until I was nineteen, and they
came in like a dream. They were stunning. We have

(12:28):
lived such I mean, there's nobody more grateful for a
natural boob on this planet than me. They were like
solid C D cup held their own I mean we
were in backless shirts. We have lived strapless life together.
And then there was a baby, and then there was
another baby, and then the third baby at forty one
has really done a number on the girls. And so

(12:50):
when they are collected like they are today in the
right bra, they still hold their own abby use my code.
They're great bras. I actually wanted to know for real
if they were a fantastic Okay, but swimsuits have been hard.
You guys know, I love to style and I love
to create wardrobe, and I feel like I'm styling and
picking things around them now because I can't wear certain

(13:13):
kinds of tops. Finding a strappo sprawl has been a struggle.
And then can I ask where the tears? Like where Okay,
they're coming? So I have I have a hard time
electing for surgery. I think because of the surgeries that
I've had to have, Like one was a DNC the back,
you know, the spinal surgery, Like it just doesn't feel

(13:33):
great for me to choose to do surgery. But I
have really felt like I've stood in the mirror and
done what probably a lot of us do, which is
like pick them up and put them back in their place.
I don't have much of a torso, so they're now
eating away at another solid inch and a half of
that SpongeBob squarepant figure, you know, And I'm like, come on, ladies.
So I had this, like I have wanted to try

(13:55):
on the idea of perhaps getting a reduction and a lift.
Husband is wildly obsessed with my breasts, and so I
do think that's what we're saying, because this isn't coming
from anywhere other than me. Here's the tears. This is
so I feel like so silly. I feel like I'm

(14:15):
being ungrateful or something for this like beautiful, healthy body,
like they're healthy boobs. But like I'm so we were guys.
I feel like an idiot. We did this video. We
were on in the Bahamas, and the guys were like,
I'm gonna do this video walking on the beach. They
have this new song. It's beautiful, it's so special. And
you know, I have another wife and my duo, and

(14:37):
she's a quite a bit younger than me, seven or
eight years younger than me. She had our babies early.
She has these really great boobs, and I do a
really good job of not comparing myself. I mean, you're
my best friend and you're stunning, and I don't ever
compare me to you. I'm really good about this, but
for some reason that video and Preston would be just
absolutely embarrassed if he knew this, because I almost wanted

(15:02):
to be like, don't post it, because I just felt
so insecure in that video and that is not like me.
But I don't usually have boobs out either, as you know,
and it was the first time where I was like, oh,
I don't like I feel so silly. I just don't
like how I look, and it made me feel like

(15:22):
I didn't want him to post it. And then I
was like, well, that's not fair because probably my boobs
are more relatable to ninety percent of the world. And again,
this is like feels like superficial or something to even
be upset about it. But for some reason, I'm really
struggling with even like going to get a consultation because
I feel like I'm being ridiculous or like, I don't know,

(15:45):
I guess it is just like superficial is the word
I just keep coming back to. It feels like dumb
or something that it would even I think I feel
ungrateful to even consider doing something like that, so I
won't even go to a doctor. Why am I crying?
I think it's like mourning the loss of a body,
you know, like as moms, we've gotten to know our

(16:07):
bodies probably three or four times over, you know, like
every woman can pretty much agree with that, whether you're
a mom or not. Like the body that you know
in your hottest bar dancing days, you still don't have that.
And so I've really felt like I work my tail off,
I work out, I eat clean, and it's just like

(16:28):
the one thing that doesn't I don't know. I hope
people don't rip me apart for crying about this.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
Well, first of all, your emotions are your emotions, So
no one can rip you apart for having emotions about
anything that makes you feel insecure or uncomfortable or anything.
So don't let that be a deterrent. But I mean
not to like interrupt you, but to say, you know, so,

(16:54):
why what is it that's holding like do you want
to have surgery?

Speaker 2 (16:57):
Do you want to?

Speaker 3 (16:59):
Or you're you're saying you're held back because you feel
like it's superficial.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
I don't know. I mean, I do think I'm superficial
for having fake thiss. No, I really don't. That's why
I'm like, and why is it so hard for me
to make this? I here's the other place I go to.
I'm forty three now, and if they feel like this now,
it's not like gravity is in my favor. As time
goes on. We've all seen our grandma's boobs when we
didn't want to when we were we did bless or seven.

(17:24):
So I think I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna I think
I'll get to a place where I'm going to go, gosh,
I wish I would have done that, you know, ten
years ago. And I also know we're done having babies,
and so like, this is the body I'm working with now,
and I don't. I do not want an implant. That's
nothing against anyone. I just I think because I already
have so many foreign things in my body, like the

(17:44):
rods and the wires and the like, I don't need
any of that. I just, for some reason, I just
feel this like immense amount of guilt for even wanting it. Why.
I don't know. I think because I have a healthy body. Sure,
but you also if there's something that you would want
to do to. So I think it's I think this

(18:06):
is like twofold. The first thing is, as we're getting older,
like you said, our bodies are changing. I mean, I've
I haven't done botox in a year now. I've seen that.
I'm I can see my face is changing, ring goals,
I don't look the same like I did some of it.
I feel like I look better now that I'm thinking prettier,

(18:29):
but also there's other pieces of me that I'm like,
oh gosh, And the other day I'm like, god, I
think I I think I need to make the decision
to do botox again because I just I just look old.
And so I've noticed I've started to talk down a
bit more to myself. But I'm also realizing we're just
getting older too, and yeah, we're just we're changing. And
I don't think there's necessarily and I'm not trying to

(18:51):
go like I don't want to be twenty again, right,
you know, I truly don't. I actually really love this
forty three year old body. I feel like it's stronger
than it's ever been. So that's why. But I thought
it was a good topic. I'm hoping there's some solidarity
and some of the women out there. But I also
I'm like, you have elected to get the surgery, and

(19:12):
it was like not, I felt like I never saw
you struggle. And I'm like, ashhn't. Why can't I see
high as a kite on Easter post it Eastern Jana.
I wish we had a video of Eastern Janna. And
I'm really not trying to be over dramatic. That's like
I just I think because I have had friends that
have breast cancer and they've had to have these big surgeries,
and I'm going, the girls are so healthy, and then

(19:33):
is it this weird thing that society has put on
us that we have to look a certain way. But
I don't necessarily need them to be a certain cup
size or anything. I would just love for them to,
you know, take a few steps up. I would love
to be able to get dressed and not you know.
And I think there's I think that's an you know,
oh cat comment on this too. But I think it's
something that you have talked about for years now, Yes,

(19:56):
for a lot of years. It's something that you go
back to. It's something that you have in so security about.
I don't find it superficial at all in wanting to
get a lift and so that you can have that confidence. Now,
you don't need to get a lift to have the confidence, No,
because you're a confident person, you're a beautiful person. You
don't need that. But if it's something and if it's

(20:17):
something that you want to maybe for yourself, it's like,
that's okay. I don't know, kat, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
I mean this coming from a person who's who wanted
a boob job since I was sixteen, you know, because
I don't have boobs, I had the opposite problem. You know,
I did go for a consultation back around the time
Jana got hers. It was around the same time I
went for a consultation, and I ultimately decided it wasn't
for me. Not because I felt like it was superficial, Honestly,

(20:50):
I just I didn't like the way I, you know,
tried it on. I didn't like the way it looked
on my body. I just think that had I liked
it and had it felt good, then I have, you know,
gone forward with it, Like I don't. I don't see
it as a superficial thing either, But your feelings are
warranted at the same time, if that's how you know
if that's how you're feeling, but maybe it would be

(21:11):
beneficial to go for a consultation and then see how
you feel. You know, maure, you like what it would
look like and.

Speaker 1 (21:19):
Yeah, and they have the three D so you can
really see what it looks like. My biggest regret with
my boobs is that I don't know if I solely
did it for me, okay, And I think that's what
I could say would be my biggest piece of advice
is it has to be one hundred percent for you,

(21:40):
you know, And like you said, he loves your boobs, right.
I was in a marriage that a husband was cheating
all the time, and I would see the women that
he was cheating with, and I'm like, I look nothing
like them, okay. And so when I was presented with
you know, I thought about it for a while, like
maybe if I had bigger boobs, he wouldn't cheat, or

(22:03):
he'd find me sexier or something like that. Now I
got to a place where I think it was for
me because I chose the doctor because I had a
couple of consultations I had won in Los Angeles and
I won't say the doctor, but it was it was
out in LA when my ex and I were living
out in LA and that was, you know, when we

(22:25):
were obviously trying to reconcile things. But I still was like,
maybe if I had bigger boobs and was like sexier
because mine as well, My boobs were always great and perky,
but after the two kids, they just sagged really bad
and so and certain things just didn't go back to
looking the same. And you know, yes, so people would

(22:46):
look at them and be like, oh my goodness, and
so I felt gross. And so when I went to
the LA doctor, he was like, you should have you
should get this this size and this is what it
should look like. And I'm like, no, those just look
too big on me, don't I don't like the way
that looks. He's like, I promised you you're going to
want bigger, and I'm like, he's like every time someone
ever gets a boob job, they always say I wish
I would I wish I would have gone bigger, and

(23:07):
I'm like, I can promise you. I'm not that girl.
Like I don't want big boobs. I just i'd like
him a little bigger. I'd like to be maybe a
sea or something. But I don't want to be like
a big, big c and that you're a tiny person too. Yeah,
So I was like, I don't I don't want to
do that. So that felt wrong to me. So I
decided on my doctor here, doctor Hunger, who I just
love so much. And he saw this, like he gave

(23:28):
me that option, but he's like, I think you should
go here, and it was like kind of the middle route,
and I was like, yes, that looks supernatural, and that's
but like a little something else, a little extra but
post so obviously I loved it. I had a lot
of fun with them post divorce, right because Mike never
actually got to feel them because we had gotten divorced,

(23:49):
like I found out about the him cheating again, so
like he didn't even get to see them, which was glorious,
you know. So they were not touched. They were fresh,
non touched boobs, and I and everyone knows I flaunted them.
I did. I took every bikini. As Alan likes to
just he was like in your thirsty hungry days. I
was like absolutely, I showed these bad boys off a

(24:11):
time or two. I mean, like some of these photos
I was like, babe, he's like hungry and I was
like I was starving for like attention, and it was
sad actually when I look back at it now. But
where I'm at now is I would actually like to
take out my implant and just lift them again. Are
we going to do it together? Because Alan's very much
like I don't. He's like, I love your boobs, He's
like you don't. And he doesn't like implants. He doesn't

(24:35):
like faking the fake stuff, you know. So he's very
He's not against me getting botox, but he doesn't want
me to get botox. He doesn't he doesn't like the implants,
he doesn't like I mean, he loves my boobs, but
like sure, if I was to get him again, he
would be like, take him out and I would just
do them do a lift. Yeah, Cat, I see you about.

Speaker 3 (24:51):
The question though, rebuttal So then if you were taking
them out, are you taking them out for him or
are you taking them out for you?

Speaker 1 (24:58):
So it would I've been thinking about it just in
general general with everything, and I don't know b I
all the symptoms of the breast implant. There's technically I
do have a foreign foreign object in my body that
can cause inflammation. That could but there's also studies on
the other side. I've heard both sides speak, you know,
and I've at the end of the day, you know,

(25:21):
I think I kind of just want it to be
more natural and not have an implant in there. So
when that time comes for me to take them out
and redo them again, I don't know if I don't
think i'd put them back in, But I don't know,
you know what I mean, Like, talk to me in
ten years when I decide to do that again.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
So you would keep them for the next ten years
and then I'm.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
Not going to take them out, like unless they're causing
me issues or something like that. But no, I would.
I would keep them in. But I think when it
comes to the point, I wouldn't reput another implant in.
But I I personally like, this is not for a
man or whatever. I did not like the feeling of
so I would have just regardless of a man. The

(26:02):
implant was, I think, not something that I would have
one hundred percent. It wasn't one hundred percent for me,
got it. It was more myself, my insecurity and my
wanting to be like everybody else that you know, he
was with. So I think it just really hit me

(26:23):
when I because I usually don't do bikini pictures or
some suit pictures. And and again, like if I was
like I don't like that video, don't put it up,
they wouldn't put it up. But I was like, well,
this is I'm a relatable woman in the way that
like I don't have reast implants and I'm you know,
forty three and I'm trying my best. But it was
the first time, like I love to style and wear

(26:45):
things and try new things, and I think that it
felt like I was like, I shouldn't award that, like
it just I but there's no good way to manage
like a size D boob with no gravity. I think
if you're in the like my mom, she's openly talked
about if she had the income, she would want to
do a lift. And that's something where because it's she

(27:05):
doesn't you know again, you're older, you've had kids, You've
all I wasn't breastfed, but thanks mom, But noma kidding
at it either, but like you know what I mean,
Like it's just listen, I didn't recipe there. It's fine,
but my boos were huge. So anyways, but like you,
I think at that age, you know it's better to
do it now, if you're going to do it, then

(27:25):
that's where I'm at. Yeah, if you're going to go
down under and all that, I would lift them. I
fully support you doing whatever you want to do for yourself. Sure,
and that is not as an intense as other surgeries. Yeah, yes, okay,
I don't know why. It has literally just brought me fan.

(27:46):
I've met him and he seems quite lovely and I
love him. He's fantastic. If you do do it, okay,
And I I want.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
To kind of defend you, Kristen, in the sense that
there are not many women who would enjoy seeing themselves
on a video in a bikini. I just I want
to be very clear about that.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
I mean most women. I don't like seeing myself in being.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Of women for whatever reason.

Speaker 3 (28:10):
You're looking at your boobs, I'd be looking at something else.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
I'm looking at my stomach.

Speaker 2 (28:15):
I'm you know, just.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Keep them, like, give yourself some grace there for being
feeling that way, because I don't think I could name
a woman who would one hundred percent just be like great, awesome,
so glad that's going on, you know, like that's a
normal feeling.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, And I do. I think that's like the first time.
I mean, listen, there's a couple of things that I'm
not super in love with, you know. But I also
go back to like this as the body that God
gave me and blah blah blah and so. But like
it was the first time where I was like, I really,
that is really hitting somewhere. And I then I think
it's just the guilt and shame I put with it
that makes me feel so emotional. Yeah, but I mean

(28:52):
there's certain things too that you can't after a baby,
you know. Some I'd even talk Tom like, man, I'm
gonna get a mommy mommy talk or whatever, And now
I was like he was, I mean, he was very
against it because his buddy lost a wife to Sepsis
that from the surgery or whatever. But that's a very
invasive surgery. I don't even know why I wanted to do,

(29:13):
but I think just because I wanted to, well, there
is I was worried about maybe the if I could
get my body back in shape after three kids, and
I don't know, I just wanted to have a flat stomach. Sorry,
I just like, you know, I just like this would
be great, you know. But then I was able to
find workouts and food and find out where where my

(29:34):
inflammation was coming from. And like, you know, now I
feel so much better. But you can't do that with
your boobs. I feel that's that's where you there's things
that you can No. I'm not saying that's everyone. There's
a cure all forever, but for a boobs you can't.
There's no there's nothing you can take. There's no exercise
you can do. There's no vampire you know exercises. Yeah, well,

(30:00):
I'm thankful I got to unpin it. I really just was.
I just needed your brains and your voice over it,
because I, for some reason, have just put myself in
this category of like, it's just being ridiculous. I think
you'll be so happy that you did it. I think
so too, And I don't know why I'm so stuck.
You shouldn't. I'm a pretty say some person, oh they're
going to do that, and I'm gonna be like, oh,

(30:21):
sign me up, let's do it till and they're going
to show you that three D yes because it isn't
truly even about how I look naked, it's just about dressing.
I'm so tired of, you know, grabbing the girls and
putting them in the only bra that works and can't
do strapless and can't do this, and it's like, I
want to have more fun than that. I freaking enjoy
wardrobe too much to be styling around this. And I'm

(30:42):
also in the same breath so freaking grateful for a
healthy body that I just am like, Okay, well, then
maybe it's just what we do. We deal with Pamelin,
Like our good friend Pamelin says, we're not going out
without a fight. Amen to that. And ladies, have grace
for yourself. Yes, and if it's something that you want
to do for you, then police support it. Yeah, and

(31:05):
I'll drive you to the appointment. I might need you. Actually,
the medicine afterward is fun. You would video and send
it to line. I'm oh, man, sorry for the emotions ladies.
On that note, let's take a break. Okay, we got

(31:33):
a whine. Anybody who's got a whine about it?

Speaker 3 (31:39):
I mean, I can go for it.

Speaker 2 (31:43):
I love gat.

Speaker 1 (31:45):
He's just like, let me just go back to my rolodex.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
But uh, y'all, I don't know why, Like we are
just like the emotional group man, and I've just two.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
Weeks ago I was crying.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
I was crying all last night, night through the night
to day, Like you.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
Know, why don't you tell me?

Speaker 3 (32:05):
Well, it's it seems silly, but like long story short,
you know, Amy does all start cheer. It's really busy
part of the season, and she's just had a coach
that's just been really really like picking on her all season.
And so last night at practice, this coach calls me

(32:26):
in and wants to have a talk with us. So
we have a talk, and it's just it's I have
to say, it is so frustrating to me that I
cry when I'm frustrated. So like I'm frustrated he's talking
to me. I'm frustrated with him and frustrated with her,
and I like want to just want to cry, and
she's crying and I'm just like mad at myself. So
I just was really upset last night and had a

(32:49):
conversation with some other coaches. It's just it's a balance
because it's you know, in sports now, it's just very
like you want to push these kids to be better athletes,
but like I'm like, what are we doing like at
the expense of her mental health? Like, is she's not
having fun? Anymore. This isn't okay, you know, like she's
walking out in tears and we're spending all this time

(33:10):
doing it. So it's more just like the emotional like
what is right? Just kind of back to like what
we talked about last week, what is right? What is wrong?
Is it okay for me to let them push her
this hard and be picking on her the whole time?
Is it not okay? Like I'm her mother, I have
to make that decision, you know. So it's just all
that and just going through the emotions of that, and

(33:33):
I just couldn't stop crying last night.

Speaker 1 (33:34):
Does she want to cheer anymore?

Speaker 3 (33:38):
So I told her last night, I was like, we
can be done to night, Like I will call them
to night and say we are not showing up tomorrow,
Like this isn't worth it. I give you permission to
do whatever, because I'm like, you have to pay money
if you quit, and like all the things, I'm like,
I don't, yeah, Like because it's a contract, it's a deal.
You are putting teams out, like we have a big
comp coming up, and you know she's on two teams,

(33:58):
you know all that. So I was like, this is
your option. So last night. I mean, she just was
emotionally exhausted. She's crying, and it's just like, what do
you want? And she was like, I just want to
love it again, and I just want him to be
nicer to me, you know, And so I was like, okay,
Like that's then she's like, but I don't want to quit.
I don't want to quit on the team. So I don't.
It's like, okay. So then I talked to some other

(34:19):
coaches today and you know, we just kind of talked
through it and the emotions of that, and like, you know,
going back to the fact that she's a thirteen year
old girl who's grown probably six inches in the last
you know, she used to be tiny, and so she's
just grown a lot, and like what does that mean
for her mental health? Because she feels like she's big now,

(34:39):
you know, and that's a heart That's what gets me crying,
is like she feels like she's too big and no
one's putting that in her head other than people have
to lift her up. So when they drop her, that
just goes immediately to her head. I'm too big, I'm
too fat, I'm you know this, And so that's just
been a struggle. That's been a real struggle with a
middle school girl feeling that when her body is perfectly

(35:02):
normal and perfectly healthy. And so it's just been I
don't know, it's been a struggle over here.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
And that's it. That's a fine line to walk too,
because you know, if if she's feeling that on the
body image, it's like, all right, where is she going
to now put that? Is that going to go into
her not eating as much? Is that going to go
into an eating disorder or not to like you know,
but I'm sure you've.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
Thought about it.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
That's exactly where my head is. Then I'm you know,
there are two people that I know who are battling that,
who are cheerleaders, who are flyers, who are in that
same position, and I'm just like, at what you know,
it's just walking that line and not letting it get
to that point and keeping an eye on that and
being careful with that.

Speaker 1 (35:42):
And it's such a fine line too when it comes
to you want them. You want the coaches to be tough, right,
because you don't want just the coach to be oh, yeah,
good job when it wasn't good or there wasn't You
want them to have growth and you know, learn and
do better. But if what is it that is causing

(36:03):
the disconnect because I know she can take criticism or
or not criticism, but like constructive criticism.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
I'll say, yeah, I mean, and that's what's interesting, Like
her other coaches are tough on her also, but this
is a new coach and he comes from a different
gem that is you know, huge Jim, and like they
win and they win and they win, and he has
acknowledged that he is harder on her the other than
a lot of the other girls on the team. His

(36:32):
reasoning being that he sees something in her that he
knows she can be an amazing athlete and that she
can get to these higher levels. But like I explained
to him and to the other coaches, I was like,
but if he pushes her away, she's never going to
get there. So there has to be this balance of
you know, it's a team sport. It can't all be

(36:52):
her fault, you know, it can't be. It's just it's
a balance and figuring that out. And it's just been
And it's funny. I've been watching a lot of coaches
things lately and how sports are done now and how
you know, nothing's fun anymore.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
Serious, Yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
Feel like we I even remember feeling the pressure. Like
love was really good at gymnastics when she was little,
like three four, and they were like she could be,
you know, on team by December and I and I
and she started to not love it because they were
just pushing her. She was like four five years old.
I'm like, this is ridiculous. But when we were young,

(37:33):
it was like you could try a sport for a
little bit, see if you liked it. If it wasn't
your jami quit, you know, you move along. But now
I feel like it's almost like you have to figure
out what your kids are good at by like age four,
and because if you try to put them in, Like
when I was ten or eleven, I could try a
new sport if you're ten or eleven, Now new sports
are really not for you. You're behind, and that is

(37:56):
really unfair to children who are learning their bodies, learning
their emotions, learning their strengths. Like so we ended up
pulling her out of gymnastics and putting her back in.
Now she's in cheer and she loves it, but she's
in a really sweet little program that's really about praying
them in. They pray them in, they pray them out.
It's about their strengths. But I can't imagine the level

(38:19):
that y'all are at and like the pressure that comes
with it. It's also not fair and it's not It doesn't.
I don't know if this is the word I'm looking for,
but it isn't. It isn't equal to their age and
their growth. The amount of pressure that we're putting on them.
This is like things that like master athletes are hearing
and doing, and instead of coaching some good out of them,

(38:39):
they'll coach them right out of a sport. Like I
my thing for love is fall in love with the sport,
keep loving the sport, and keep learning how strong you are.
And the minute those things fall away, we're out. Because
it's just an unrealistic pressure for the age group of
these roles.

Speaker 3 (38:56):
And well, on the other part of that is, you know,
all the athletes are different, and I understand that that
is a struggle for coaches because they have to figure
out how to coach pretty much differently. You know, like
some pressures are great for her, like if you tell
her I want you to have this by blah blah blah,
like she'll hon in, but if you humiliate her in

(39:17):
a practice in the middle of everybody, she's going to
shut down and stop listening to you.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
And then that's where they get.

Speaker 3 (39:23):
Frustrated because it's like she's not listening or she's not
making the changes, you know. So it's just it's a balance.
And every child is so different, and I understand they're
trying to get these athletes. They're pushing them so they
can compete with the other ones because they are starting
so young, you know, take it not even cheer, but

(39:43):
like look at baseball, especially baseball is a big one.
They're doing baseball year round now, and by the time
you get to middle school, you're not making that middle
school team if you haven't played since.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
So coaches are.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
Pushing them to prepare them for that, to get them there.
But at what expense, I don't know. It's just it's
a it's a hard balance now for sure.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
You're also seeing an increase in injury in young people
too because of this, Like we're pushing these teenagers specifically
to lift more and to do more, and their bones,
their growing bodies can't support, like physically they can't support
these workouts and these expectations that people are putting on
them and they're getting injured.

Speaker 3 (40:23):
Yeah, I mean my son has had a stress fracture
in his back from lifting at the high school for
football for months. I mean he's out again for another
three months.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
Yeah, you know, I mean.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
It's yeah, I think that. Yeah, it's hard.

Speaker 3 (40:37):
It's it's just a balance. Like we definitely are athletes
and and a lot of the great things they learned
from that, a lot of great things they learn from
these coaches, you know. And the adversity that she'll go
through with this even and having to work through this
and work through a coach that they just butt heads,
you know, I do think is good for them, but

(40:58):
it's hard for the mama.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
I also think it's where they're at to with other
things going on in their life. Like Kat you know,
wanted she offered for Jolie to try out for the
travel softball team because that's something that she has really found,
something that is you know that she's good at right,
She's so she's truly like softball. She ended up having
the flu, so she couldn't go, But there was a

(41:22):
piece of me that I wasn't that upset with it
because where Jolie's at right now, her confidence is so
hit from the dyslexia that right now I just need
to build her up so much. And if if that,
you know, if she didn't get it, which she probably
wouldn't have because she's not at the left because she
hasn't done you know, she's just done wreck and there's

(41:44):
these people have been doing travel for since they were
at four or whatever it is. Yeah, so it's like,
I mean, she probably wouldn't have really made it, but
like and I wanted that experience for because I think
this is something that she can really do great in.
But I'm almost okay that she didn't this year just
because right now, like I need, I need to build
that confidence her because it is it has rocked her

(42:05):
this year. I mean, we started off the year because
we kind of knew the dyslexia talk started in first grade.
I kind of started to notice it a little bit again,
knew nothing about it. And then when this her third
grade teacher came to one of her softball games and
she's like, hey, do you have She's like, can I
talk to you? You know, She's like she's really really
down on herself and just saying she's stupid and she's,

(42:26):
you know, the dumbest kid in class and she can't read.
She's like she has out. I'm like what I mean,
I'm like bawling at her softball game, you know, like
just hearing like my daughter, Like no, she's so light
and happy and you know, positive, and she she knows
she's enough. Like we've got the sign on her door
that she leaves and she leaves the room like I'm
Jolie Ray, I'm enough and I'm smart and brave and
so this, you know not and then working through all

(42:49):
this now her third grade and then you know, getting
the final diagnosis. But you know, she's like, you know,
am I you know, am my special needs? Like she
says all these things that she's you know, that she's dumb.
And so it's now you know, she's working with a therapist.
So I'm like I in this stage of life, like
I'm almost glad because I'm like, right now, it's like
I don't think she could handle a tough coach at

(43:11):
this moment, Like we gotta we got to build her
up and encourage her. And then you know, but then
I also think that tough coaching is really important too,
so like bring that in when the season is a
little bit lighter on other things of life, because these
kids are just being thrown things at such a young
age too, and feelings and all of it, you know.

Speaker 3 (43:29):
Yeah, I hate to take that about Jolie. I do
think too. When she is ready for that and she
does go to that point, that's where parenting becomes really
important and paying attention and being their advocate. Yeah, And
that's kind of why I talked, you know, today to
some other coaches because I was like, you know, as
her mother, like I have to watch out for her
mental health, you know, And that's just where it becomes

(43:51):
really important. And some coaches that push them they'll connect
with and some push coaches that push them they won't
and they'll shut down and it may make you know,
And so it's just really important I think for parents
to stay involved, be there. That's why I like to
be there as much as I possibly can so I
can see it. I can watch it and see how
they're affected by it.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
Yeah. And it's just such a fine line too. Because
I was talking to you, Kat, I'm like, you know,
she when she strikes out it's like, you know, she's
crying and I'm like, Jolie, no, no cry like you
know what I mean, like you, it's like she just
takes it on, like she's now dumb and a bad player.
It's like no, like you know. So it's so hard.
It's like parenting it's just once third grade hit man.
It's really just emotional skyrocketed, you know, and trying to

(44:33):
find that balance of like life is going to be tough.
But we got to build the confidence, you know, and you, Catherine,
you're doing a great job, you know without that, I mean,
like you said, being her advocate and that's the hugest thing.
The best thing we can do is be their advocate
and be there for them. And yeah, I think your
tears are fair, and you're a good mom and you
love hard.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
You're sweet.

Speaker 3 (44:54):
I literally was on the phone. I was like, I'm sorry,
I'm getting emotional, and then I told him, she goes.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
You cried on the phone.

Speaker 3 (45:02):
Okay, listen, get out.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
I don't need my client berating me because I'm trying
to talk to it. Yeah. Hard, it is hard, so hard, exhausting,
and parenting ourselves is hard. To reparenting the three of
us are busy doing a.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
Lot of that grace for all of us.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
Guys.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
That's right, let's take a break. You know, I gotta
be honest. I I don't really have a headline that
is really grabbing. I was like, I'm gonna go with
us weekly check out some headlines. But well, there's an
asteroid coming for us. If we needed more lighter lighter
did you see this? Where'spent affleic when we need them?

(45:42):
I mean, I don't know. I feel like I was
going to sing in arms of angel wrong movie. I
don't know the three point one percent chance there's that
you're saying there's a chance. So you say there's a chance,
And I was like, you know what, I don't need
an asteroid. Usually I've got the news on the morning,
and I did not hear about an asteroid. What channelane

(46:03):
it's tracking that it would hit in eight years, I believe,
And what can't we divert and do what? Literally Armageddon
did get the plane? I know for this oil dig it? Well,
I hadn't blow it up, guys, come on, I did
have a really so my husband is an honorary Guardian
of the Galaxy through the space Force of the United
States Space Force and I can't say that usually without laughing,

(46:26):
and he gets really angry at me. And so I
was like, well, this is where your side hustle comes in.
Break up the asteroid there, Preston, I don't know. Apparently
that's coming. They said that we will see it and
then it will disappear for our view for four years,
and then when it comes back, we'll have to make
bigger decisions.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
I feel like all the headlines lately had just been
playing crashes, like how are y'all feeling about getting on plane?

Speaker 1 (46:48):
Well, we know how channel feels. It's literally my worst nightmare.

Speaker 3 (46:52):
I mean, it's just it's everywhere right now. I feel
like every headline now, I'm like, okay, and we had.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
An upside down Delta. Did you see that?

Speaker 3 (46:59):
Yeah, it's so bizarre.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
I kind of want a hermit in my house even more.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (47:04):
Same.

Speaker 1 (47:05):
I will say this, I flew right after the tragedy
over DC. I flew pretty quickly after that, actually, and
I feel like there is a sweet day. I did
fly the next day. Yeah, yeah, because I texted you.
I'm like, that's right you okay? Are you still going?

Speaker 2 (47:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (47:21):
And I will say there is a Really there's something
about listen, no tragedy, it's always horrible. There's something about
humanity out of that though that I remember, like nine
to twelve, right the day after nine to eleven, we
were different people together, we cared differently about each other,
we were compassionate. I felt that a little bit of

(47:41):
that even in the airline industry the next day. So,
for what it's worth, I think it's everyone's just being
kinder and sweeter and more tender with each other. And
you know, there was several announcements made like it is
our dedication to get you to your next place, like
very you know is safe and comfortable. And I will
say I used to always be very annoyed of people
that clapped on a plane. I'm going to clap at

(48:03):
every landing. Now you're the clapper. I'm going to be
the clapper. Three one thousand percent happening, Like, without a
shadow of doubt, I'm clapping. I might even give a standing.
Oh mammy, can't do that. Please stay in. I must
stay locked in. Okay, let's take a break and then
get I guys, I have to pee. I can't even think.

Speaker 3 (48:27):
What just happened?

Speaker 1 (48:41):
Am I going to get just absolutely annihilated from crying
about that.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
That's why I also kind of went back to, like, look,
no women feel good about themselves in bikinis.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
Let's just be real. I want to.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
I don't want to just get ripped apart on top
of it. I don't know why it's so emotional to me,
but it is, and I can't help it. It makes
me want to cry time. So whatever it's hitting.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
Oh, I just cry.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
I've cried a lot. I've been crying over.

Speaker 3 (49:07):
Maybe that's about getting old, I think too.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
It's probably mourning in the loss of like an era.
It is. Acceptance of getting older is probably a piece
of that too, Like they aren't going to go back
to where they were, Like they just aren't, and I'm not.
And all of those things are okay, And it's also
tricky to navigate, all right. So to close out the show,

(49:34):
our narrators here we've got listener advice. Here we go, Brittany. Hi,
I'm twenty six from Glasgow. Oh hey girl, I could
do your impersonation, but I can't. And okay, So I'm
twenty six from Glasgow and getting married this year to
my boyfriend of seven years. We are just engaged in December,
but already booked our wedding for this September. Grat's Girl, Well,

(49:57):
there is a lot to plan. The most stressful thing
so far we can't agree on is the guest list.
Oh ohway, oh boy. We were having a small ceremony
of fifty people and then fifty evening guests. I have
a really big family, whereas he has a large group
of close friends. We are trying to make it fair
by doing twenty five each, but I am finding it
super difficult because so many of my family are not

(50:19):
on the list. I have cut all extended family, but
I don't have my aunts or uncles on my dad's side,
and I am stressed in case they feel upset or
annoyed about this. Any advice on the best way to
do the guest list to make it fair and keep
people somewhat happy. I have so much to say on this, Brittany,
first and foremost, congrats. Second thing, we had a huge

(50:42):
thing with my ex and I. I won't say which
which marriage, but Jo and Kata my cat, did like
that one. But it was very important to me because
I was byng for the wedding that it was a
small wedding and at the end of the day, it

(51:04):
should just be about the people that you you would
be upset that wasn't there, right, Like, if you had
your wedding, it is who would you be most upset
about that wasn't there on your big day, Not if
they would be upset, but if you would be upset
that they weren't there. And so we made a list

(51:24):
of those people and the family members, and there were
some on there. There were cousins that unfortunately didn't make
the list that I would have loved to invited them.
But at the same time, you know, we weren't doing
Actually no we did. We did first cousins, but second
cousins and stuff like that, we just didn't. We didn't
do that. I'm you know again, who who was going

(51:44):
to be? Who we wanted to be at that wedding, right,
And so his side of the family got so upset
that we did not invite the cousins of his uncle
that he barely really even knew. And then the mom
was like, well, I'll pay, and I'm like, it's not
about you paying for them, like it's actually has nothing

(52:06):
to do about that. Well, first of all, it's not
just about paying for just their food. It's the extra
table plates and the chairs and the this, that and
the other. I'm like, there's and at the end of
the day, it's also it's not your wedding, mother in law, like,
it's it's our wedding. And he barely knows them. You're
just doing it because and there were step cousins too.

(52:26):
That was the whole other thing. It was they were
like step cousins. They weren't even first cousins, and and
like he didn't want them there, but the mom was like,
I'll pay for it, and I'm like no, And we
got into this huge thing. His uncle actually stopped talking
to him for a while because and his uncle chose
not to come to the wedding, the one uncle that
like he really wanted there. And I'm like, because you

(52:48):
wanted your the step cousins to come from your wife
And it was all about his new wife. It's kids
and like I've never met them, you know what I mean,
And it like why why? And he them like a
couple times, I was like this is insane. So I
think my only advice to you, Brittany is you guys,
sit down, don't worry about other people's feelings. At the

(53:10):
end of the day, this is your big day, obvious people.
Most people will understand that. You know, weddings are expensive
and you can't invite everyone, and if you could invite everyone,
you would, But at the end of the day, you
have to just invite the people that you would truly
be so heartbroken are not there. But not because they
would be heartbroken, because you would be heartbroken. That's all

(53:32):
I'm saying. I like it. Former wedding planner here and
two time wedding champ my own personal journey. I agree.
I also think people spend a lot of time focusing
on a wedding instead of focusing on a marriage. So
I would encourage you to get on the same page
and really pick up a copy of mel Robbin's Let

(53:55):
Them book and just get through the first fifty pages
at a minimum. I agree with everything, Janie. I think
that the day goes by too quick. You don't need
to be meeting anybody the first time the day of
your wedding, and it's not about anybody else's day but you.
It's that they're going to be upset. Yes, Kat, disagree
with us, Go for it, girl.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
I don't necessarily disagree.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
I had the same situation with my wedding in the
sense that my in laws wanted a lot of extended
family that I didn't necessarily agree with. But I just
kind of let it. For me, I was just kind
of like, okay, whatever, if it's important to y'all, Like
I'll just cut over here on my family and y'all
can have it. It was kind of more I didn't
want to just fight the battle. And I look back

(54:38):
and I'm like, you know, if it meant something to them.
I don't really remember the day that much. I don't
really remember those specific people that like we thought about inviting.
So to me, it was like not that big of
a deal. But the location wasn't affected. The seats necessarily
weren't affected. You know, you might pick a place that
you have to add, you know, there's a lot of

(54:59):
that goes int to that. So to me, I was like,
I can invite less people on my end for them
to have more money or more people, and it's fine.
So I just think it's what's comfortable for you, Brittany
and for your fiance and whatever sits right with both
of y'all.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
Yeah, you can also have an A list and a
B list, and as people can't for some reason make
it off the A list, then you can start incorporating
other people if that's helpful, right exactly.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
I do agree with you, Kristin though you don't really
need to be meeting anyone for the first time at
your wedding, like that's just odd.

Speaker 1 (55:31):
Yeah. Yeah, I've had that from experience. A lot of
it just streusses people out. It's not fair, Yeah, it's not.
It's a very intimate, personal, sacred place and it needs
to be about the people that you want there, not
the people your mom and dad used to bowl with
on Wednesday nights. And I would too not look at
it as like more more friends verus family or more

(55:53):
family verse friends. It's true, I mean, because my wedding,
it's I had more friends than I had family. And
that's sure what. I've loved my aunts and uncles to come, absolutely,
but at the end of the day, I'm sorry, I
would rather have my best friends there at the wedding
that has been you know, in the making for for years,
and the right one, you know, And they went to
the other ones, but this one was like I really

(56:15):
just needed my bestie is there, you know, and just
the mom and dad. That's it, you know everybody else.
I loved you and I would have loved but again,
paying for it and it's expensive, it's a lot. Also
encouraging Brittany to Elope if needed, always an option. Yeah,
you know, I saw always say that, but I'm really
glad I didn't Elope with Alan. Oh I am glad

(56:35):
you didn't either. Hey, I would I sat that special
time with even if the even even though it was
so little, I still really cherished the walk and having
you guys there, oh for sure. But I was like Elope, Yeah, no,
I do feel like too. There's always the option of
like a far away wedding or a very very teeny
tiny like just bring it down to parents if needed,

(56:56):
or like a couple of best friends. Like sometimes like
the first ring out of the audience becomes like you
feel like it has to be all or nothing. So
maybe we don't need to get bigger, Maybe we need
to get smaller, Brittany, just try that on too and
see if that helps. Well. Cat on the field, glad
to have you have you out there.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
I'll fetch you out tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
Patching in live. Okay, Well, thanks for holding me and
my boobs and supporting me and my always lift you up.
I God, someone is that. I know We're gonna lift
you up. Girlfriend, all all right there with you, all right,
love you, love you, Bye bye