August 11, 2025 • 38 mins
Most parents have a conversation about “spanking” when deciding how to discipline their kids, but would you ever think it’s “hilarious”?? Jana, Kristen and Kathryn discuss a recent story of a couple’s gleeful intent to spank their daughter.
Plus, Jana opens up about her struggles with sleeping alone. And we find out what happened when Jana thought someone had broken into her house!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Whine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Hi girls, Hi, Hi Kramer. Hi You're good. I'm great. Good. Yeah,
how are you guys? Good? I think Kristen she just
gave me the eyeball, like, fine, she's great.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
She's just really coasting through, like which one are we referencing?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
You?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Are you me? So? Yeah? I'm fine.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
You know what's so funny is when you ask someone
they're like, I'm great.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
And I'm like, are you sure? Yeah, it's likely. Yeah,
I'm definitely lying. Okay. I just can't tell if it's
like it's very all or nothing, like do I just go, oh,
but it's just you know, it's all as well. I
can whine about it. Actually, okay, if you have any
pins there fore, it's totally fine and I can just
(00:53):
keep pushing it all down. I seem to be really
good at that lately. It seems to be the way
to go. Yeah, sh it down, no time to cry.
It would be the title of my book if I
wrote one right now. It's actually a great title, don't
you like it? Yeah? I actually wrote it down because
I thought maybe there is something to that I can
writing a book. I'd love to do that. You should time,
(01:16):
you should. I just don't have time to cry much.
Let's write a book. No time to cry, no time
to fire up the keyboard again.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Well, speaking of, it's quite funny because I had just
sent my editor, I'm sorry, my my public agent, book agent,
I said, six months later, here's your proposal. She had
asked at least six months ago. Yeah, I just like
it's been I haven't had a second to sit down,
and so it's been in between set. Yeah, where I've
(01:43):
been because I have all my thoughts. I just had
to glue them together.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I feel like something like that.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
You've got to be like ready to do it though, Yeah,
and not just like forced.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
It's just hard to find the time to have hours
to like sit I've been doing it on my lunch
breaks because I have an hour.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I don't like lunch. I can't take the hour lunch.
It's awful.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
I would just rather not have anything, to be honest.
And what's funny is I always thought that the crew
liked the hour because it's their chance to but they
they also were like, no, I'd rather just have a
grazing lunch. Yeah, because you're just tired, you get out
of it.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah, kind of get done early. Yeah, but with you
working lunches were always my jam in the corporate world.
Love yeah, like give me a box salad gym and
let's talk about your power point. Power point girl. So
any updates from the movie.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
I mean nothing that's like no, just you know, one
from like filming till two in the morning and then
waking up for first day of school. But it was
that stuff was so fun, like I was just running
on low. Yeah that next day, but it was so
exciting and getting the kids off to school and stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
So have you gotten used to your Monday Tuesday weekend?
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I was going to ask I could write until it ends,
you know, because well when this airs, will be done
with the movie. So this is my final Oh well
yeah yeah. So it went by fast, which is good.
But I think I was talking about it. I put
it in my stories where I feel like I I
get overwhelmed and then I settle into things.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
So because we had just talked about it, yeah, and
then you were like, oh, this is actually nice.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
I loved again, I loved, but I did listen back
and I did I didn't.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
I was like, well, I kind of did said both.
I do love sleeping in my bed, and there's just
so much more responsibility and I not you know, Amy
is our therapist. You know, she'll be like, can you
pay someone to do this? And I'm like, I don't
want to out any more money than I already do,
so like I know, like I I'm not going to
pay someone to do my laundry, right, even though I
(03:44):
know a lot of people that do and have house
managers and stuff, but I just I can't justify that.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
So yeah, there's also like an ROI thing for me.
I really love when something's efficient and monetize as well.
So if I'm doing some theme but it cost me
more to do it, I'm than I would rather just
be with my kids or in my house doing myself. Right, guys,
So I have like such a I had the worst
thing that happened last night and it kept me up
(04:13):
all night long because you've already not slept. I know,
I know, no so y'all saw Bushy tailed for not sleeping,
thank fumes, But yeah, literally so last night.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
So Alan's in Munich, right, and you guys know this.
I don't know if I've shared it on here, But
like I used to not be able to sleep alone ever,
Like I mean, I had the worst anxiety where I
would wake up again from my abusive relationship where the
guy would throw me out of bed at three in
the morning. So like truly, I would wake up at
three in the morning with like earth shattering anxiety. So
(04:47):
when I was alone, when I got divorced, that was
my biggest hurdle was I literally almost stayed with him
because I was like, I don't think I can sleep
alone in a house like that was what was in
the back of my mind stop me from divorcing him,
probably one too many times, like oh no, I don't
know if I could sleep like this.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
It was a terrible debilitating the irony whoop boop boo.
But then a mic pun No than sleeping alone, then
I might drop because I love that more. Anyways, moving on, Yeah,
it's just so crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
It's just funny how everybody's so different, right totally well again,
like super line came from like trauma I never had
and until yes, like after and I understand yeah for
that situation, and I like it. I understand people now
in general for sure.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
But it was weird though, because I it didn't. That
peace didn't come up until I was in that marriage.
And so the correlation between being from that traumatic, abusive
relationship and then being in an unhealthy, very toxic situation, uh,
(05:53):
felt very similar. And so it triggered that three in
the morning. And so when we got divorced. I mean
I remember even when he was in rehab, like I
would have people come over. I'm sure I didn't I
have like you come over one night. Yeah, I would
have you guys, like sleep over. And that was one
of the reasons where I was like, I need like
I can't divorce it, like I literally like can't sleep
(06:15):
without him, or I can't be alone. And so when
we finally did and I was forced to do it,
I then loved it like love, love love love loved it.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Right.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
So now when Alan goes out of town and stuff,
when he goes to visit a sun or when he goes,
you know, to train his clients, I will wake up,
but I don't have my anxiety anymore, which is great,
Like I'll just go Okay, it's three thirty in the morning,
but I'm fine, Like I'm okay, no one's coming to
hurt me. We're good having said that.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Oh no, last night I look at my alarm app
I'm watching Teddy Mellencamp's ring thing of did I see that?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Or she got burglarized? Yes, nope, I'm glad I didn't
see it. Has kept me up every night, like thinking
about that situation. And I thought about it last night
because I'm home alone, right, So I'm like, let me
just go to my alarm dot com system, right.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
So I go and I look, and I knew the
night before that I got home at two o'clock in
the morning. So it shows my foyer motion and it
shows the garage door being locked and shut, right, So
last night at ten thirty at night, I just look right.
But then it shows the back door being closed at
(07:32):
like four two in the morning something like crazy, And
I'm like, how did a back door randomly close while
we were sleeping? But like this alarm map is very
specific into the to the tee, so I text out
and I go, hey, I'm kind of spooks right now.
And he's again on the plane to Munich landing in
a few hours, and he's like, what's up? And I'm like,
(07:55):
did you close the door at four something in the morning?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yesterday.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
He's like, no, oh lord. When I like start sweating
in the bed like this is not going to be fun,
He's like, Babe, I'm sure everything's fine. Maybe just it
was like a weird sensor thing like you'll be okay,
set the alarm. So I set the alarm and lo
and behold. I wake up at three in the morning,
I hear this like like this is like pounding noise,
(08:20):
like not pounding, but like it was almost like a
door slap shut. But I obviously know the alarm's on,
so the doors it would censor. I think it was
just the outside sprinkler system. Like I just hear every
noise right, and I'm very like alert to it. So
from three to five I am in my like but
again it didn't pick up one of my motions when
I was like going to the close the door. So
(08:41):
then I'm at three point thirty in the morning going
like this to my.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Like if any of my neighbors happening, She's down. No
on my old body. I'm just like like trying to
like run, like ging fake runs like like a psycho
in front of my camera thing to see if it
picks it up. Long story short, I was up from
three to five, just like a ball of And I
didn't have anxiety, like it wasn't like right like you
just because normally I would I would pass out. I
(09:08):
would call an ambulance like I was crazy, like anything
like the mediating with anxiety.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Where it was like I didn't even have a second
to like regulate my body was like you're under attack,
someone's coming, you know this. It's like no, I can
catch my breath. I'm fine, Like it's all of that.
It was just in my head because I started playing
back things and then I watched kind of a scary
movie ish before bed.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
That was the wrong call. So it showed the door opening,
so the just closing. So this is the weird thing.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
So I looked right to see at seven o three
pm or eight something pm the back door was closed.
Oh no, sorry, it was open open, but then it
closed randomly for something in the morning. Weird anyway, So
that was my I'm a little tired if that's.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, because I was making it you're not doing like
your best clear thinking. That also freaked me out because
I'm like, how do I protect me and the babies
if someone comes in right now? That's that's the anxiety
I live with. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Yeah, because I I'm looking at these guys that tried
to break into her house.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Am I couldn't have. I'd have been like that it
it might actually, but not other reasons we think, I know.
Oh anyways, man, that just another time. I'm going to
tell you the burglar alarm story. We can pin it.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I have so many burglar alarms going off and no
explanation through my years of house sitting that I it
drives me crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah. Well, and the system went off a couple weeks ago,
but then we're like, is it the fire is it
the alarm? So it's like, I don't Honestly.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
That's one of the reasons I don't have one, because
it it freaked me out so many times on false
alarms that I was like, I cannot handle this, Like
it's it's not worth it to me.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I just remember years went off, like years ago when
we were at your house or was it the fire.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Alarm that was We thought it was the alarm. Then
the fireman, kid, it was.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
A whole thing.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
It was a whole thing. Oh my goodness, it's funny though. Yeah,
I was firemen and I was like hanging out with us.
I just feel like that turned out okay.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
We had a whole enirement and you're like, are you
guys paid or is this we liked?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
There was a fire?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
We need to The thing is we're asking all the
questions as the alarms will not stop going all and
I was like.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Hi, like, hey, so do you guys?
Speaker 5 (11:29):
I know this?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
You don't have a wedding ring on. Anyways, that's my update.
That's a good one. Thank you. How's everyone?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Well, her kids aren't in school yet, I guess, But
how how is it with kids back in school?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Great?
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Yeah, yeah, Jason is kind of giving a little bit
of a I don't want to go to school, but
you know the first week.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, I didn't love it when I was little, Like
I mean, I had a belly ache like that. I
remember all the time up until about like fifth grade beyond. Actually,
I didn't like the first day of school at all.
I just don't want to get up. I can't, none
of us.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
I could get my kids to sleep in, that would
be amazing, no matter what time they go to bed.
Their rise in chine at six thirty.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
A same thing. What is that? I don't know? They
just love the morning. I know other morning people early
bedtime though. There we go. Yeah, I'm trying to get
that back positive whine about it. What you got, Kristen,
(12:34):
because you came in. I okay, I'm gonna I will go.
We'll go high up, high level because it doesn't we
don't need to get into trenches. But I feel like
I'm very flexible. I'm a very a type person, and
I am a little OCD that's like diagnosed. So I
know that I enjoy a plan and I enjoy a
(12:58):
standard operating procedure. A laminated sheet with rules is kind
of a you know, do you have your own laminator?
I wish now that is a bucket list. So I
just feel like the world that I live in in
the industry I live in. And we started our own
label like a year and a half ago, our own
(13:18):
record label. So that's added another full schedule woven inside
of all these other schedules. The amount of shifting and
pivoting and flexibility I have had is like wearing down
my nervous system. So I brought it to Amy because
(13:39):
I'm like, listen, I'm not afraid to be wrong or
need to do more work in these areas like I'm
really not if you're like you're a control freak, get
over it and let's figure it out. She would never
say it like that, but if that's what I need
to do, I would do it. But I also have
all of these systems in these things, in these little
ways I operate because it creates a consus instancy for
(14:00):
my kids that they wouldn't otherwise have because we don't
have a data consistently hardly. Ever, we get him for
thirty six hours, he leaves again, we think we're going
to get him for five days, like last week, we
get him for two days instead. So that beach trip
that we did was a really fun reframe of us
losing three days of vacation with him. So instead we
(14:21):
took the biggies to the beach and made it Biggie's
beach vacation. They lived. It was awesome, and we left
the baby at home so we could uber and it
was great. But I'm just doing a constant reframing, shifting,
pivoting all of the time in every area, and I'm
a little war out and a little irritable. My tolerance
(14:46):
is down, and I'm just kind of done being flexible,
Like I'm tired of accommodating to make sure everyone is
feeling great and then feeling depleted. Which I'm an enneagram too.
I don't know if y'all really believe in that, but
like I'm a solid too with a one wing. So
(15:06):
justice is great and I love to help out a
detriment to myself sometimes, but I've gotten so good. I
feel like at better boundaries, and I just feel like
I try to create a boundary and I'm like, I've
got this. It's not that I'm not saying what I need,
it's just that it doesn't get honored hardly anywhere. So
he told me. She told me I needed to leave
(15:26):
my last appointment with her and fight for myself. Was
the quote that I needed to block the calendar because
we have a ten year wedding anniversary coming up in September,
and he as a show on our anniversary. It's a Sunday,
so I thought for sure we would have that together,
and now he has a show. Fine, but there I
am right being flexible. So I'm going to meet him
(15:47):
in Miami and do the show, and then we're going
to go from Miami somewhere probably southern Florida, just so
we don't spend days traveling and we can just be together.
But I put my first ever block on the calendar.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Ever ten years, I've never blocked our calendar, not even
for babies. It's great, yeah, like their work calendar. Yeah,
like it says brust block nice, really proud of yea.
I will it stay? They better not delete your block. Well,
I don't know. I just feel like the whine about
it is sometimes the flexible people are tired too.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Well.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I think it's important to tell him that it's important
to you. Yeah too, like if it was to get
potential unblocked. It's like, no, we need this and this
is important not only to me but for us. Yeah,
And he's guarded to speak that.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Before I blocked it, but I was like, actually would
love that to be official, because it's hard to like
it's also like scientifically proven. If you plan vacations, it's
like really good for you to look forward to something absolutely,
And I don't feel like I'm getting that. Yeah, Like
I don't get to look forward to anything fully because
it just changes every five minutes.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Literally the last time was record breaking. It was I
planned the Orlando trip within ten minutes. He came through
on a conference call and he's like, nights out, we
can do this now. And I just looked at sweet
Saint Christine and I go record breaking. She was like unreal,
Like it's just so yeah. I just I am because
I can operate well and it doesn't mean I sometimes
(17:14):
want to yeah well.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
And I think like scheduled, Like I'm not OCD at all,
but I am about a schedule like I can be flexible,
but at the same time, like you know, like we're
very scheduled, like we.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Love to have, but even yesterday you can bring that up.
Is a perfect example what you helped me take something
off the calendar that I was like, no, like I
had to meet that and she was like, yeah, this
sounds not great on your day off, yeah you know,
and I was like, you're right. I just didn't want
to say I didn't want to do it, yeah, because
I'm tired and I didn't want to let down people
or whatever.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
And she's like, no, we can move it.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
And I was like great, thank you, absolutely, And I
like having someone advocating to so well.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
I think it's important.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
There's those moments, right, there's those moments where like this
is able to be moved, we can be flexible here,
and then there's things where we can't be flexible here,
so being able to but again, like I love a schedule,
I love sticking to a schedule. I love all that,
so it will get me irritable at times too, but knowing, okay,
your anniversary block, for instance, this is somewhere I can't
(18:16):
be flexible X, Y, and Z, I can be flexible,
you know, and kind of recognizing those things because some
things are going to make you more upset, more irritable
if they move than other things.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Well, Jannet even talked about it because I was like,
do you remember even with Scotland, Yeah, shaking scotlansh that
stressed me out, like up until the week before, even
until I was like doing this trip solo. I mean,
I get why you have to do that.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
So I'm not coming down, but like I couldn't function
in that world that.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Way, even though we have that world that is that
was tough. Yeah, yeah, it's just wild and I'm I
don't know, I'm just trying to find, like you know,
even school for us, which a couple of things you'll
be proud of for me, proud of me for I
scheduled my consultation for my potential lift nice and then
(19:05):
it got moved speaking of because we scheduled a number
one party on the same day. Oh, totally fine. But
also I feel like I might send those kids to
five day week school after this next year. Yeah, we
talked about that last time. That would be like good consistency. Ye,
it would feel consistent for us. Yeah, And and they're ready,
(19:27):
which is huge. But I think like just little things,
like I actually applied to that school, which is like
a step, and not because I don't love where we are,
but just because I'm like, Okay, we've outgrown this and
what we need is different. Yeah. I love that. Yeah,
but it's I'm just tired of being the flexible one.
Yeah for a minute, Yeah, I get that. And maybe
(19:50):
if if the larger thing's stuck and I didn't have
to be flexible, then maybe the little things would be like, oh,
maybe that's what I feel like could help because now
I'm just trying to grab anything. I can tell. It's
a control feeling.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Things get just really frustrating, Whereas in my opinion, I
don't think they would be as frustrating if the bigger
things really took weight and.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Yeah we're held Yeah, but maybe try that. Can we
move on to a headline this week? Yes do It?
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Bachelor's Madison Pruitt and Husband's and Husbands spark backlash after
saying it'll be hilarious to spank their baby daughter Hoseanna,
and I just I have to because I think this matters. Yes,
is how he said it. So I just want people
to hear it before we go into it. And we
(20:34):
have the whole context of what this is. So let
me just play the clip from.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Really Smart, because I do think context matters that sentence. Yeah,
here we go.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
So I'm gonna play this for you guys right now,
I have a child.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
You don't just discipline them for being good and obeying you,
right like if Hosanna obeysis, We're not like come here, girl,
come here, all right, pull them down, get the you know, mama,
which will be hilarious when we start spanking, which we
will on the record. Because the Bible it says folly
(21:09):
is bound up in a child, but discipline drives it
far away.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Some people could say, well, you can discipline them with timeouts.
Hold on it says with the rod. First of all,
I have to ask a question. Answer.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Was he saying it will I don't to me, and
this is not depending anything, because I have a lot
of thoughts on this, But it didn't sound like he
was saying it will be hilarious when we spank her.
I think what he was saying to because he was
first talking about we don't just thank them when they
do like good.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Things, Jesus, We're not like, come here, girl, come here,
all right, pull him down, get the you know, mama,
which will be hilarious when we start spanking, which.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Will be hilarious.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
When we started, I couldn't tell if he was talking
about hilarious with what he was talking about beforehand, or
if okay, yeah, yes, was a.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Good I wanted to make sure. I wanted to make
sure before.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
I wanted to make sure from context of things, yeap,
So go for it. I know we've talked about spanking
and discipline obviously on the show, but his.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Joyfulness is the most same. I mean, it's weird. Sorry,
I'm just that's just had more context to it because
he seems so.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
His context is that when we're talking about the Bible
and the Rod and now I just don't understand the
first part. So basically he's saying that about the obeying
with what she.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Was saying, like, it's not like we're going to spank
her when she's obeying. That's the part I don't understand.
And I'm curious where this joy and happiness comes from
with talking about spanking. That's where I'm very I feel
like we're missing something.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I think it's also wild to listen. I think the
conversations preemptively before your parents is smart to go like
how would you handle this? How would you Also, it's
just wild to automatic assume they're gonna have to spank
this child. It sounds like they've already discussed it though,
but like to assume that you would, like I never
we talked about our views on it at home, Preston
(23:11):
and right, but I never assumed i'd have to spank
love Like I never was like, oh, and when I
do have to spank her, like, I don't know that.
It all feels very like if I if it ever
got to that point, what's your view on it or whatever?
Is a discussion. But yeah, how old is this kid? Baby? Right? Yeah?
I think yeah, baby is it's a strange thing, like
(23:31):
I've never forward thought about hitting my kid. I guess
the part that I definitely talked about, yeah, and you've
talked about that you have your kids absolutely yeah and
so and that's where it's like, again, that's something that
I because you weren't spanked as a kid, right, oh yeah,
oh you were okay for sure? Well so same but
(23:53):
it was not great on like my end of it.
So for me, I you know that piece of it.
I think along with my past, that's where it's just
I think there are other ways to discipline. I don't
know if it's that the spanking is out of the
parents and this isn't like against you at all. I'm
just curious when parents do spank, is it out of
(24:13):
anger or is it out of trying to discipline a case.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
It should never be out of anger, is the you
know behind it. It should just be out of We
learned very quickly with all of ours that it didn't
it didn't really work. So I would say all of
our kids probably were spanked at one point or like
a little pop. I don't even know if it's a
spank and it does. It's hard for me, like to
(24:38):
hear you say we don't plan hitting our kids. I
don't like hearing that. That gives me a negative, like
I'm not hitting my kids, you know. But everyone feels
differently about that, and I could, you know, whatever, it
is a hit, sure, but it's just that's where the negative.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
But you know what I mean, like it it, that's
what is thinking. We put a title on it, that
makes it. I have no opinion either way, truthfully, but
like we put a title on it's like if it's
corrective hitting, it's still hitting.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Sure, I mean, okay, yeah, right, But we did learn
quickly all of ours had probably trying to think of
Ramsied I don't know, but we learned quickly that it
didn't necessarily like with Caden, it didn't.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
It didn't really work.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
So we just, you know, I was like, okay, this
isn't something that worked, and we didn't, you know, do
it anymore with him. You know, we did other things.
But no, I'm not against it, but I don't like
that clip.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Yeah, there's something off about the tone of that clip. Yeah.
What rubs me is the which we will like that
joyful life. It'll be hilarious when we do which, by
the way, we will like kind of being like our
It's like he was already going after the haters that
we're going to hate on them about it like he was.
It was almost like it was a proud like and
(25:50):
which we will like, Oh, I'm sure that's what I
think it was.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
Yeah, that's what rubs me because and again I associate
it with something with my negative past of things, and
I don't think you should ever.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Be it joyful about hitting. That's where I'm at for sure.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Even when I say like hitting, it's like hitting spanking, right, yeah, whatever,
it's just a weird like there's something about the tone
of that clip that is off, Yeah, very like, which
we will like.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
That's just hilarious. This is a word I would never
use either.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
And all that to say, like coming from the only
one in the room that has done it before, I
always said that we wouldn't, which is what's funny. And
Nick never has. It's only been me that's ever done it,
which is also very interesting interesting. Yeah, But for me,
it was always in a I've tried this, the shouldn't work,
(26:48):
don't do it out of anger, I've tried this, let's
try this, And yes, it was different for every child.
I think I can't even remember. I know I've spanked
any probably, but I think that it.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Did with Kayden.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I mean, I'll never forget like giving him a little
pop because he kicked me or something and that was
maybe a little out of like a reaction more than
like an anger or whatever. And he kind of looked
at me and like hit me back, and I was like, okay, no,
you know, like that was a cat in the street.
And again to me, it was he was fighting me.
I was like changing or changing him or something, and
he was fighting me kicked me in the face and
(27:22):
I was like no, and I kind of like popped
his leg because he kicked me.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
And then he just you know, and.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
So I was like, okay, that that's not how I,
you know, wanted to do it. Other instances were like, okay,
I've tried this.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
If something comes out of our frustration where it's like
my snaps like sto right right, Like that is like
could easily have been a pop u a lag instead
of like but that's me yelling my reason. My voice
isn't really the answer either, right right, But it's a
reaction to the frustration of the pop right right.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah, Like I think we all have parents had done
like I don't think I well, I don't like I'll
never say never about anything, you know, like I just wouldn't.
And as a parent, legend specific and I have learned
like he has taught me more about myself and my
own anger, just because the way we communicate, Like I
would never have guessed he just so. I I don't
(28:13):
think there's anything wrong with any of the way that
anybody's child rearing or doing what they think they need
to do. It's just such a strange happiness. Yeah about
a brand baby and the potential Yeah, of I think
you're doing that. I think it was more a I
know I'm going to get haters.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
I'm going to go ahead and just throw the way
he did it, yeah, because again, never say never. I'll
tell him they said that, we're not going to and
then I ended up doing it a couple of times,
you know, and it's like, okay, so never to say never.
And I'm admitting that I have, you know, which isn't
easy because I'm going to get people coming after me.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
I did soap in the mouth of that I wanted
to remind anybody.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
But yes, that rubbed me wrong. It's not something I'm
sitting here being. I mean, it's not that I'm I'm
not shameful of it. I'm I'm not sitting here like
I did things I shouldn't do and I hurt my kids,
Like I don't.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Feel that way.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
But also it's not something I'm joyful about and like
I loved doing that.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
That was good for me.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
No one they are, you know, believers as well as
we are. They're looking into the Bible. But is a
fascinating part of it. I'm curious you know your guys'
standpoint on that, because I think there's I understand, well,
I don't understand the book. I still question things in there.
And I think, as my pastor says, that's because I'm like, oh,
(29:34):
I don't understand. He goes, well, that's that's where faith
comes in. Like you should keep asking questions. And I
think in this area that's where I would go. I
don't think God wants us to take a rod and
hit our kids.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
I think we need into that. I need to look
into it. I'm like, I don't.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
I don't understand where there's scripture taking the scripture and
going okay, well, because God said this, do this and
it's like, but also it can be the rod your
tone and your.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
And in that Bible, like I don't know that specific piece.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
I think we're educate too literal sometimes, yes, and I think.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
But they're the ones that are saying that though too
with well, because the scripture.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
That's the thing.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
You can't take a scripture and people can feel a
million different ways about what that scripture says, and that
is clearly what they're taking. I'd have to read it
before I take a stance, But I think in a
lot of instances we take things a little bit too literal.
And at the same time, yes, I think that discipline
is very important, and I think that that, to me
(30:33):
is more the point.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Probably of what that scripture is saying.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Yeah, and i'll and i'll you know, on goo on
Madison's uh, you know side, where she's started to explain
to her in a way of parenting where it's we
don't want to be doing this, like whenever I say, Julie,
like I don't want to discipline you right now and
take this away, this is just you know, and that's
you know, they're they're doing that along the spanking lines.
But you know, I think she's there's that piece in it,
(31:00):
which is which I think is good to tell that
to their kids. So I'm not trying to come down
on their their parenting in the slightest at all. I
don't know them, and but it's just how his reaction
just kind of rubbed me wrong, and that could be
a piece of my past just coming in.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
And no, I think that rubbed Yeah. I mean, I
think I'm.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Going to do two things on our behalf. I'm going
to listen to the rest of that podcast, yeah, because
I'm so curious about how they got there. Yeah, how
did we get here that we're laughing? I feel like
we're missing something even if we take the tone of it.
I imagine if somebody just took like our teeny tiny
clip here, So maybe we miss something before we give
them a little benefit of the doubt. And I'm going
to dig into the ry here all of.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
It, because I think that they were just talking about
parenting because I listened. I listened to it the whole podcast.
I listened to like a good chunk of that twenty minutes,
and it was them just going into it talking about
that we're not parenting. The context is there, which is
why that piece is the most important piece of it.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Well, I try, and you tried to kick at Yeah,
we all tried, guys.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
It just it came out of nowhere to me with
the weird part of the beginning, with like disciplining them
when they're maybe when they're doing good, really objective.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yeah, for sure, it just was weird. It was very
odd to me, for sure. Guys. What a time to
be alive. You guys good. It was a little oh yeah, no,
that's fine. It always it again.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I'm not like shameful about it, but like when there's
things like that, and there's certain things that trigger me
a little bit, like I again, but no, we're totally fine.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
It doesn't bother me.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
But that was, like we can I can disagree with
anybody on stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Yeah, I just think like and I'm not. I also
was spanked, But I just grew up in such a
rageful household that like, my parents framed things to be
this is my household, my growing up, not you as
a parent. My parents framed things and created narratives to
make everything that they were up to Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I can only remember being spanked like once, so I was, but.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
I did get spanked but I also don't think it was.
I don't remember a time where I was like I
was that was the thing. I did grow up with
a lot of violence, though, it just wasn't against us. Yeah,
So I just sometimes I'm this has been an interesting
thing because recently I've been in a couple of like
(33:31):
little tiny spats. Yeah, more just like I boil things
down to just exactly what it is. Like there's this
like clarity that I have where narratives don't affect it.
Like I'm like, but that's what it is, and that's okay.
I'd just not me like, but like speaking is hitting.
It's not that you're beating your child. I'm not, it's
(33:54):
not that. But like I think sometimes we as a
society like maybe create things around things to make things
okay that I don't know, like if we call it this,
then it's not that. And if we did this, then
it's not that, you know, but like that is what
it is, and it's okay, it's not we sugarcoat it.
You mean, Yeah, that's yeah for sure, you know. Yeah, right?
(34:18):
Does that make am I making any sense?
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (34:32):
I'm a mom in my early forties and after being
out of the workplace workforce for fifteen years to raise
my kids. I was recently offered a job that feels
like a dream come true. It's in a field i've
always wanted to break into. The team seem supportive, and
the work aligns with with both my interests and the
kind of impact I want to make. The problem well,
the salary is quite a bit lower than I was
hoping for. Not impossible to manage, but definitely tighter than
(34:56):
i'd like, especially as I try to rebuild financial independence
At this stage of life, juggling family responsibilities, personal growth,
and a real desire to feel fulfilled at work, I'm torn.
Do I take the leap for a job that lights
me up even if the pay isn't great, or should
I hold out for something that better reflects my value
even if it's not as exciting. I think that's a
(35:20):
tough one because I think if it's something you really
want to do, like I have taken things that are
I took a movie this year that was well below
my quote, but it was something I love being on set.
I love making movies. I thought it was a really
fun project, and I think it was one of those
things where.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
You know you're rewarded.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
I think in the end, like this could be something
that's great, something comes up that better reflects than awesome.
I think you could always change. But I also understand
there's a piece too where your expertise is value it
should valued. So I'm torn with that because I do
think you should get what you deserve. But if it's
(36:06):
something you really want to get into, you've try and
been trying to get into, my gut says, take the leap.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I mean, I worked in the music business for like
no money for a very long time. Yeah, so yeah,
because I loved it, So I am all for that.
I think it's easier said than done to do that
as a woman than it is as a man. I
will that sounds sexist, but I will stand by that
as long as I'll live, because it is just different,
you know, for a man who's going to have a
(36:32):
family and supporting a family versus a woman who may
you may you may not, But I'm all about doing
what makes you happy if it's less money.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah. I also just wonder if it is so set
in stone this salary, like is there a way to negotiate?
I think sometimes we sure I can speak for myself
take things as face value and I don't negotiate back. Well,
so I'm like, oh, okay, that's just is what it is.
Like I'd be afraid to ask for more. That's like
a character flaw for me. I'd be afraid to Yeah,
(37:03):
that's hard.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
So maybe it's like, hey, I will is there more?
If not, Okay, I'll do this for this amount of time,
but moving forward if I if I stay at this
longer period, I'd like.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
I did that more pay I did that in the music,
you know, I was like, hey, I'll you know, I'll
do this because you know you're worth Yeah, that's right.
Knowing that I'm working my way towards something, I think
sometimes like you just got to know that and in
the end is there going to be a reward and
the end are you going to be able to work
towards something where you're.
Speaker 4 (37:29):
The connections that you're meeting people. That's why I do
certain things that aren't like all right, will this intro
me to good other good peeps and producers and this
and the other. You know, so, yeah, there's things that
we're going to do potentially later this month where it's
no money, just going out there and trying to shake
some hands and it's like you gotta It's something that
lights up and you gotta do it. You know. It's
(37:50):
I think, I think, go for it and then the
right thing will always come along no matter what, if.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
You're if you're open to it, Yeah, I agree, agreed.
Well what an episode, guys? Is good? A little? I
looked at the camera at one point and go, I
really feel sad. Do you feel no good? Everything's good.
We started a podcast just like it's great. On that note,
we hope to all see you. Thanks, thanks for coming.
Whine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Hi girls, Hi, Hi Kramer. Hi You're good. I'm great. Good. Yeah,
how are you guys? Good? I think Kristen she just
gave me the eyeball, like, fine, she's great.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
She's just really coasting through, like which one are we referencing?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
You?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Are you me? So? Yeah? I'm fine.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
You know what's so funny is when you ask someone
they're like, I'm great.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
And I'm like, are you sure? Yeah, it's likely. Yeah,
I'm definitely lying. Okay. I just can't tell if it's
like it's very all or nothing, like do I just go, oh,
but it's just you know, it's all as well. I
can whine about it. Actually, okay, if you have any
pins there fore, it's totally fine and I can just
(00:53):
keep pushing it all down. I seem to be really
good at that lately. It seems to be the way
to go. Yeah, sh it down, no time to cry.
It would be the title of my book if I
wrote one right now. It's actually a great title, don't
you like it? Yeah? I actually wrote it down because
I thought maybe there is something to that I can
writing a book. I'd love to do that. You should time,
(01:16):
you should. I just don't have time to cry much.
Let's write a book. No time to cry, no time
to fire up the keyboard again.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Well, speaking of, it's quite funny because I had just
sent my editor, I'm sorry, my my public agent, book agent,
I said, six months later, here's your proposal. She had
asked at least six months ago. Yeah, I just like
it's been I haven't had a second to sit down,
and so it's been in between set. Yeah, where I've
(01:43):
been because I have all my thoughts. I just had
to glue them together.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I feel like something like that.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
You've got to be like ready to do it though, Yeah,
and not just like forced.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
It's just hard to find the time to have hours
to like sit I've been doing it on my lunch
breaks because I have an hour.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I don't like lunch. I can't take the hour lunch.
It's awful.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
I would just rather not have anything, to be honest.
And what's funny is I always thought that the crew
liked the hour because it's their chance to but they
they also were like, no, I'd rather just have a
grazing lunch. Yeah, because you're just tired, you get out
of it.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah, kind of get done early. Yeah, but with you
working lunches were always my jam in the corporate world.
Love yeah, like give me a box salad gym and
let's talk about your power point. Power point girl. So
any updates from the movie.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
I mean nothing that's like no, just you know, one
from like filming till two in the morning and then
waking up for first day of school. But it was
that stuff was so fun, like I was just running
on low. Yeah that next day, but it was so
exciting and getting the kids off to school and stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
So have you gotten used to your Monday Tuesday weekend?
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I was going to ask I could write until it ends,
you know, because well when this airs, will be done
with the movie. So this is my final Oh well
yeah yeah. So it went by fast, which is good.
But I think I was talking about it. I put
it in my stories where I feel like I I
get overwhelmed and then I settle into things.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
So because we had just talked about it, yeah, and
then you were like, oh, this is actually nice.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
I loved again, I loved, but I did listen back
and I did I didn't.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
I was like, well, I kind of did said both.
I do love sleeping in my bed, and there's just
so much more responsibility and I not you know, Amy
is our therapist. You know, she'll be like, can you
pay someone to do this? And I'm like, I don't
want to out any more money than I already do,
so like I know, like I I'm not going to
pay someone to do my laundry, right, even though I
(03:44):
know a lot of people that do and have house
managers and stuff, but I just I can't justify that.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
So yeah, there's also like an ROI thing for me.
I really love when something's efficient and monetize as well.
So if I'm doing some theme but it cost me
more to do it, I'm than I would rather just
be with my kids or in my house doing myself. Right, guys,
So I have like such a I had the worst
thing that happened last night and it kept me up
(04:13):
all night long because you've already not slept. I know,
I know, no so y'all saw Bushy tailed for not sleeping,
thank fumes, But yeah, literally so last night.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
So Alan's in Munich, right, and you guys know this.
I don't know if I've shared it on here, But
like I used to not be able to sleep alone ever,
Like I mean, I had the worst anxiety where I
would wake up again from my abusive relationship where the
guy would throw me out of bed at three in
the morning. So like truly, I would wake up at
three in the morning with like earth shattering anxiety. So
(04:47):
when I was alone, when I got divorced, that was
my biggest hurdle was I literally almost stayed with him
because I was like, I don't think I can sleep
alone in a house like that was what was in
the back of my mind stop me from divorcing him,
probably one too many times, like oh no, I don't
know if I could sleep like this.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
It was a terrible debilitating the irony whoop boop boo.
But then a mic pun No than sleeping alone, then
I might drop because I love that more. Anyways, moving on, Yeah,
it's just so crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
It's just funny how everybody's so different, right totally well again,
like super line came from like trauma I never had
and until yes, like after and I understand yeah for
that situation, and I like it. I understand people now
in general for sure.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
But it was weird though, because I it didn't. That
peace didn't come up until I was in that marriage.
And so the correlation between being from that traumatic, abusive
relationship and then being in an unhealthy, very toxic situation, uh,
(05:53):
felt very similar. And so it triggered that three in
the morning. And so when we got divorced. I mean
I remember even when he was in rehab, like I
would have people come over. I'm sure I didn't I
have like you come over one night. Yeah, I would
have you guys, like sleep over. And that was one
of the reasons where I was like, I need like
I can't divorce it, like I literally like can't sleep
(06:15):
without him, or I can't be alone. And so when
we finally did and I was forced to do it,
I then loved it like love, love love love loved it.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Right.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
So now when Alan goes out of town and stuff,
when he goes to visit a sun or when he goes,
you know, to train his clients, I will wake up,
but I don't have my anxiety anymore, which is great,
Like I'll just go Okay, it's three thirty in the morning,
but I'm fine, Like I'm okay, no one's coming to
hurt me. We're good having said that.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Oh no, last night I look at my alarm app
I'm watching Teddy Mellencamp's ring thing of did I see that?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Or she got burglarized? Yes, nope, I'm glad I didn't
see it. Has kept me up every night, like thinking
about that situation. And I thought about it last night
because I'm home alone, right, So I'm like, let me
just go to my alarm dot com system, right.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
So I go and I look, and I knew the
night before that I got home at two o'clock in
the morning. So it shows my foyer motion and it
shows the garage door being locked and shut, right, So
last night at ten thirty at night, I just look right.
But then it shows the back door being closed at
(07:32):
like four two in the morning something like crazy, And
I'm like, how did a back door randomly close while
we were sleeping? But like this alarm map is very
specific into the to the tee, so I text out
and I go, hey, I'm kind of spooks right now.
And he's again on the plane to Munich landing in
a few hours, and he's like, what's up? And I'm like,
(07:55):
did you close the door at four something in the morning?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yesterday.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
He's like, no, oh lord. When I like start sweating
in the bed like this is not going to be fun,
He's like, Babe, I'm sure everything's fine. Maybe just it
was like a weird sensor thing like you'll be okay,
set the alarm. So I set the alarm and lo
and behold. I wake up at three in the morning,
I hear this like like this is like pounding noise,
(08:20):
like not pounding, but like it was almost like a
door slap shut. But I obviously know the alarm's on,
so the doors it would censor. I think it was
just the outside sprinkler system. Like I just hear every
noise right, and I'm very like alert to it. So
from three to five I am in my like but
again it didn't pick up one of my motions when
I was like going to the close the door. So
(08:41):
then I'm at three point thirty in the morning going
like this to my.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Like if any of my neighbors happening, She's down. No
on my old body. I'm just like like trying to
like run, like ging fake runs like like a psycho
in front of my camera thing to see if it
picks it up. Long story short, I was up from
three to five, just like a ball of And I
didn't have anxiety, like it wasn't like right like you
just because normally I would I would pass out. I
(09:08):
would call an ambulance like I was crazy, like anything
like the mediating with anxiety.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Where it was like I didn't even have a second
to like regulate my body was like you're under attack,
someone's coming, you know this. It's like no, I can
catch my breath. I'm fine, Like it's all of that.
It was just in my head because I started playing
back things and then I watched kind of a scary
movie ish before bed.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
That was the wrong call. So it showed the door opening,
so the just closing. So this is the weird thing.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
So I looked right to see at seven o three
pm or eight something pm the back door was closed.
Oh no, sorry, it was open open, but then it
closed randomly for something in the morning. Weird anyway, So
that was my I'm a little tired if that's.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, because I was making it you're not doing like
your best clear thinking. That also freaked me out because
I'm like, how do I protect me and the babies
if someone comes in right now? That's that's the anxiety
I live with. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Yeah, because I I'm looking at these guys that tried
to break into her house.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Am I couldn't have. I'd have been like that it
it might actually, but not other reasons we think, I know.
Oh anyways, man, that just another time. I'm going to
tell you the burglar alarm story. We can pin it.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I have so many burglar alarms going off and no
explanation through my years of house sitting that I it
drives me crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah. Well, and the system went off a couple weeks ago,
but then we're like, is it the fire is it
the alarm? So it's like, I don't Honestly.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
That's one of the reasons I don't have one, because
it it freaked me out so many times on false
alarms that I was like, I cannot handle this, Like
it's it's not worth it to me.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I just remember years went off, like years ago when
we were at your house or was it the fire.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Alarm that was We thought it was the alarm. Then
the fireman, kid, it was.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
A whole thing.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
It was a whole thing. Oh my goodness, it's funny though. Yeah,
I was firemen and I was like hanging out with us.
I just feel like that turned out okay.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
We had a whole enirement and you're like, are you
guys paid or is this we liked?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
There was a fire?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
We need to The thing is we're asking all the
questions as the alarms will not stop going all and
I was like.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Hi, like, hey, so do you guys?
Speaker 5 (11:29):
I know this?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
You don't have a wedding ring on. Anyways, that's my update.
That's a good one. Thank you. How's everyone?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Well, her kids aren't in school yet, I guess, But
how how is it with kids back in school?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Great?
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Yeah, yeah, Jason is kind of giving a little bit
of a I don't want to go to school, but
you know the first week.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, I didn't love it when I was little, Like
I mean, I had a belly ache like that. I
remember all the time up until about like fifth grade beyond. Actually,
I didn't like the first day of school at all.
I just don't want to get up. I can't, none
of us.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
I could get my kids to sleep in, that would
be amazing, no matter what time they go to bed.
Their rise in chine at six thirty.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
A same thing. What is that? I don't know? They
just love the morning. I know other morning people early
bedtime though. There we go. Yeah, I'm trying to get
that back positive whine about it. What you got, Kristen,
(12:34):
because you came in. I okay, I'm gonna I will go.
We'll go high up, high level because it doesn't we
don't need to get into trenches. But I feel like
I'm very flexible. I'm a very a type person, and
I am a little OCD that's like diagnosed. So I
know that I enjoy a plan and I enjoy a
(12:58):
standard operating procedure. A laminated sheet with rules is kind
of a you know, do you have your own laminator?
I wish now that is a bucket list. So I
just feel like the world that I live in in
the industry I live in. And we started our own
label like a year and a half ago, our own
(13:18):
record label. So that's added another full schedule woven inside
of all these other schedules. The amount of shifting and
pivoting and flexibility I have had is like wearing down
my nervous system. So I brought it to Amy because
(13:39):
I'm like, listen, I'm not afraid to be wrong or
need to do more work in these areas like I'm
really not if you're like you're a control freak, get
over it and let's figure it out. She would never
say it like that, but if that's what I need
to do, I would do it. But I also have
all of these systems in these things, in these little
ways I operate because it creates a consus instancy for
(14:00):
my kids that they wouldn't otherwise have because we don't
have a data consistently hardly. Ever, we get him for
thirty six hours, he leaves again, we think we're going
to get him for five days, like last week, we
get him for two days instead. So that beach trip
that we did was a really fun reframe of us
losing three days of vacation with him. So instead we
(14:21):
took the biggies to the beach and made it Biggie's
beach vacation. They lived. It was awesome, and we left
the baby at home so we could uber and it
was great. But I'm just doing a constant reframing, shifting,
pivoting all of the time in every area, and I'm
a little war out and a little irritable. My tolerance
(14:46):
is down, and I'm just kind of done being flexible,
Like I'm tired of accommodating to make sure everyone is
feeling great and then feeling depleted. Which I'm an enneagram too.
I don't know if y'all really believe in that, but
like I'm a solid too with a one wing. So
(15:06):
justice is great and I love to help out a
detriment to myself sometimes, but I've gotten so good. I
feel like at better boundaries, and I just feel like
I try to create a boundary and I'm like, I've
got this. It's not that I'm not saying what I need,
it's just that it doesn't get honored hardly anywhere. So
he told me. She told me I needed to leave
(15:26):
my last appointment with her and fight for myself. Was
the quote that I needed to block the calendar because
we have a ten year wedding anniversary coming up in September,
and he as a show on our anniversary. It's a Sunday,
so I thought for sure we would have that together,
and now he has a show. Fine, but there I
am right being flexible. So I'm going to meet him
(15:47):
in Miami and do the show, and then we're going
to go from Miami somewhere probably southern Florida, just so
we don't spend days traveling and we can just be together.
But I put my first ever block on the calendar.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Ever ten years, I've never blocked our calendar, not even
for babies. It's great, yeah, like their work calendar. Yeah,
like it says brust block nice, really proud of yea.
I will it stay? They better not delete your block. Well,
I don't know. I just feel like the whine about
it is sometimes the flexible people are tired too.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Well.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I think it's important to tell him that it's important
to you. Yeah too, like if it was to get
potential unblocked. It's like, no, we need this and this
is important not only to me but for us. Yeah,
And he's guarded to speak that.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Before I blocked it, but I was like, actually would
love that to be official, because it's hard to like
it's also like scientifically proven. If you plan vacations, it's
like really good for you to look forward to something absolutely,
And I don't feel like I'm getting that. Yeah, Like
I don't get to look forward to anything fully because
it just changes every five minutes.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Literally the last time was record breaking. It was I
planned the Orlando trip within ten minutes. He came through
on a conference call and he's like, nights out, we
can do this now. And I just looked at sweet
Saint Christine and I go record breaking. She was like unreal,
Like it's just so yeah. I just I am because
I can operate well and it doesn't mean I sometimes
(17:14):
want to yeah well.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
And I think like scheduled, Like I'm not OCD at all,
but I am about a schedule like I can be flexible,
but at the same time, like you know, like we're
very scheduled, like we.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Love to have, but even yesterday you can bring that up.
Is a perfect example what you helped me take something
off the calendar that I was like, no, like I
had to meet that and she was like, yeah, this
sounds not great on your day off, yeah you know,
and I was like, you're right. I just didn't want
to say I didn't want to do it, yeah, because
I'm tired and I didn't want to let down people
or whatever.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
And she's like, no, we can move it.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
And I was like great, thank you, absolutely, And I
like having someone advocating to so well.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
I think it's important.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
There's those moments, right, there's those moments where like this
is able to be moved, we can be flexible here,
and then there's things where we can't be flexible here,
so being able to but again, like I love a schedule,
I love sticking to a schedule. I love all that,
so it will get me irritable at times too, but knowing, okay,
your anniversary block, for instance, this is somewhere I can't
(18:16):
be flexible X, Y, and Z, I can be flexible,
you know, and kind of recognizing those things because some
things are going to make you more upset, more irritable
if they move than other things.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Well, Jannet even talked about it because I was like,
do you remember even with Scotland, Yeah, shaking scotlansh that
stressed me out, like up until the week before, even
until I was like doing this trip solo. I mean,
I get why you have to do that.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
So I'm not coming down, but like I couldn't function
in that world that.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Way, even though we have that world that is that
was tough. Yeah, yeah, it's just wild and I'm I
don't know, I'm just trying to find, like you know,
even school for us, which a couple of things you'll
be proud of for me, proud of me for I
scheduled my consultation for my potential lift nice and then
(19:05):
it got moved speaking of because we scheduled a number
one party on the same day. Oh, totally fine. But
also I feel like I might send those kids to
five day week school after this next year. Yeah, we
talked about that last time. That would be like good consistency. Ye,
it would feel consistent for us. Yeah, And and they're ready,
(19:27):
which is huge. But I think like just little things,
like I actually applied to that school, which is like
a step, and not because I don't love where we are,
but just because I'm like, Okay, we've outgrown this and
what we need is different. Yeah. I love that. Yeah,
but it's I'm just tired of being the flexible one.
Yeah for a minute, Yeah, I get that. And maybe
(19:50):
if if the larger thing's stuck and I didn't have
to be flexible, then maybe the little things would be like, oh,
maybe that's what I feel like could help because now
I'm just trying to grab anything. I can tell. It's
a control feeling.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Things get just really frustrating, Whereas in my opinion, I
don't think they would be as frustrating if the bigger
things really took weight and.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Yeah we're held Yeah, but maybe try that. Can we
move on to a headline this week? Yes do It?
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Bachelor's Madison Pruitt and Husband's and Husbands spark backlash after
saying it'll be hilarious to spank their baby daughter Hoseanna,
and I just I have to because I think this matters. Yes,
is how he said it. So I just want people
to hear it before we go into it. And we
(20:34):
have the whole context of what this is. So let
me just play the clip from.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Really Smart, because I do think context matters that sentence. Yeah,
here we go.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
So I'm gonna play this for you guys right now,
I have a child.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
You don't just discipline them for being good and obeying you,
right like if Hosanna obeysis, We're not like come here, girl,
come here, all right, pull them down, get the you know, mama,
which will be hilarious when we start spanking, which we
will on the record. Because the Bible it says folly
(21:09):
is bound up in a child, but discipline drives it
far away.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Some people could say, well, you can discipline them with timeouts.
Hold on it says with the rod. First of all,
I have to ask a question. Answer.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Was he saying it will I don't to me, and
this is not depending anything, because I have a lot
of thoughts on this, But it didn't sound like he
was saying it will be hilarious when we spank her.
I think what he was saying to because he was
first talking about we don't just thank them when they
do like good.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Things, Jesus, We're not like, come here, girl, come here,
all right, pull him down, get the you know, mama,
which will be hilarious when we start spanking, which.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Will be hilarious.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
When we started, I couldn't tell if he was talking
about hilarious with what he was talking about beforehand, or
if okay, yeah, yes, was a.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Good I wanted to make sure. I wanted to make
sure before.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
I wanted to make sure from context of things, yeap,
So go for it. I know we've talked about spanking
and discipline obviously on the show, but his.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Joyfulness is the most same. I mean, it's weird. Sorry,
I'm just that's just had more context to it because
he seems so.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
His context is that when we're talking about the Bible
and the Rod and now I just don't understand the
first part. So basically he's saying that about the obeying
with what she.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Was saying, like, it's not like we're going to spank
her when she's obeying. That's the part I don't understand.
And I'm curious where this joy and happiness comes from
with talking about spanking. That's where I'm very I feel
like we're missing something.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I think it's also wild to listen. I think the
conversations preemptively before your parents is smart to go like
how would you handle this? How would you Also, it's
just wild to automatic assume they're gonna have to spank
this child. It sounds like they've already discussed it though,
but like to assume that you would, like I never
we talked about our views on it at home, Preston
(23:11):
and right, but I never assumed i'd have to spank
love Like I never was like, oh, and when I
do have to spank her, like, I don't know that.
It all feels very like if I if it ever
got to that point, what's your view on it or whatever?
Is a discussion. But yeah, how old is this kid? Baby? Right? Yeah?
I think yeah, baby is it's a strange thing, like
(23:31):
I've never forward thought about hitting my kid. I guess
the part that I definitely talked about, yeah, and you've
talked about that you have your kids absolutely yeah and
so and that's where it's like, again, that's something that
I because you weren't spanked as a kid, right, oh yeah,
oh you were okay for sure? Well so same but
(23:53):
it was not great on like my end of it.
So for me, I you know that piece of it.
I think along with my past, that's where it's just
I think there are other ways to discipline. I don't
know if it's that the spanking is out of the
parents and this isn't like against you at all. I'm
just curious when parents do spank, is it out of
(24:13):
anger or is it out of trying to discipline a case.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
It should never be out of anger, is the you
know behind it. It should just be out of We
learned very quickly with all of ours that it didn't
it didn't really work. So I would say all of
our kids probably were spanked at one point or like
a little pop. I don't even know if it's a
spank and it does. It's hard for me, like to
(24:38):
hear you say we don't plan hitting our kids. I
don't like hearing that. That gives me a negative, like
I'm not hitting my kids, you know. But everyone feels
differently about that, and I could, you know, whatever, it
is a hit, sure, but it's just that's where the negative.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
But you know what I mean, like it it, that's
what is thinking. We put a title on it, that
makes it. I have no opinion either way, truthfully, but
like we put a title on it's like if it's
corrective hitting, it's still hitting.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Sure, I mean, okay, yeah, right, But we did learn
quickly all of ours had probably trying to think of
Ramsied I don't know, but we learned quickly that it
didn't necessarily like with Caden, it didn't.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
It didn't really work.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
So we just, you know, I was like, okay, this
isn't something that worked, and we didn't, you know, do
it anymore with him. You know, we did other things.
But no, I'm not against it, but I don't like
that clip.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Yeah, there's something off about the tone of that clip. Yeah.
What rubs me is the which we will like that
joyful life. It'll be hilarious when we do which, by
the way, we will like kind of being like our
It's like he was already going after the haters that
we're going to hate on them about it like he was.
It was almost like it was a proud like and
(25:50):
which we will like, Oh, I'm sure that's what I
think it was.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
Yeah, that's what rubs me because and again I associate
it with something with my negative past of things, and
I don't think you should ever.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Be it joyful about hitting. That's where I'm at for sure.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Even when I say like hitting, it's like hitting spanking, right, yeah, whatever,
it's just a weird like there's something about the tone
of that clip that is off, Yeah, very like, which
we will like.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
That's just hilarious. This is a word I would never
use either.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
And all that to say, like coming from the only
one in the room that has done it before, I
always said that we wouldn't, which is what's funny. And
Nick never has. It's only been me that's ever done it,
which is also very interesting interesting. Yeah, But for me,
it was always in a I've tried this, the shouldn't work,
(26:48):
don't do it out of anger, I've tried this, let's
try this, And yes, it was different for every child.
I think I can't even remember. I know I've spanked
any probably, but I think that it.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Did with Kayden.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I mean, I'll never forget like giving him a little
pop because he kicked me or something and that was
maybe a little out of like a reaction more than
like an anger or whatever. And he kind of looked
at me and like hit me back, and I was like, okay, no,
you know, like that was a cat in the street.
And again to me, it was he was fighting me.
I was like changing or changing him or something, and
he was fighting me kicked me in the face and
(27:22):
I was like no, and I kind of like popped
his leg because he kicked me.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
And then he just you know, and.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
So I was like, okay, that that's not how I,
you know, wanted to do it. Other instances were like, okay,
I've tried this.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
If something comes out of our frustration where it's like
my snaps like sto right right, Like that is like
could easily have been a pop u a lag instead
of like but that's me yelling my reason. My voice
isn't really the answer either, right right, But it's a
reaction to the frustration of the pop right right.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah, Like I think we all have parents had done
like I don't think I well, I don't like I'll
never say never about anything, you know, like I just wouldn't.
And as a parent, legend specific and I have learned
like he has taught me more about myself and my
own anger, just because the way we communicate, Like I
would never have guessed he just so. I I don't
(28:13):
think there's anything wrong with any of the way that
anybody's child rearing or doing what they think they need
to do. It's just such a strange happiness. Yeah about
a brand baby and the potential Yeah, of I think
you're doing that. I think it was more a I
know I'm going to get haters.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
I'm going to go ahead and just throw the way
he did it, yeah, because again, never say never. I'll
tell him they said that, we're not going to and
then I ended up doing it a couple of times,
you know, and it's like, okay, so never to say never.
And I'm admitting that I have, you know, which isn't
easy because I'm going to get people coming after me.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
I did soap in the mouth of that I wanted
to remind anybody.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
But yes, that rubbed me wrong. It's not something I'm
sitting here being. I mean, it's not that I'm I'm
not shameful of it. I'm I'm not sitting here like
I did things I shouldn't do and I hurt my kids,
Like I don't.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Feel that way.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
But also it's not something I'm joyful about and like
I loved doing that.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
That was good for me.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
No one they are, you know, believers as well as
we are. They're looking into the Bible. But is a
fascinating part of it. I'm curious you know your guys'
standpoint on that, because I think there's I understand, well,
I don't understand the book. I still question things in there.
And I think, as my pastor says, that's because I'm like, oh,
(29:34):
I don't understand. He goes, well, that's that's where faith
comes in. Like you should keep asking questions. And I
think in this area that's where I would go. I
don't think God wants us to take a rod and
hit our kids.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
I think we need into that. I need to look
into it. I'm like, I don't.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
I don't understand where there's scripture taking the scripture and
going okay, well, because God said this, do this and
it's like, but also it can be the rod your
tone and your.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
And in that Bible, like I don't know that specific piece.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
I think we're educate too literal sometimes, yes, and I think.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
But they're the ones that are saying that though too
with well, because the scripture.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
That's the thing.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
You can't take a scripture and people can feel a
million different ways about what that scripture says, and that
is clearly what they're taking. I'd have to read it
before I take a stance, But I think in a
lot of instances we take things a little bit too literal.
And at the same time, yes, I think that discipline
is very important, and I think that that, to me
(30:33):
is more the point.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Probably of what that scripture is saying.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Yeah, and i'll and i'll you know, on goo on
Madison's uh, you know side, where she's started to explain
to her in a way of parenting where it's we
don't want to be doing this, like whenever I say, Julie,
like I don't want to discipline you right now and
take this away, this is just you know, and that's
you know, they're they're doing that along the spanking lines.
But you know, I think she's there's that piece in it,
(31:00):
which is which I think is good to tell that
to their kids. So I'm not trying to come down
on their their parenting in the slightest at all. I
don't know them, and but it's just how his reaction
just kind of rubbed me wrong, and that could be
a piece of my past just coming in.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
And no, I think that rubbed Yeah. I mean, I
think I'm.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Going to do two things on our behalf. I'm going
to listen to the rest of that podcast, yeah, because
I'm so curious about how they got there. Yeah, how
did we get here that we're laughing? I feel like
we're missing something even if we take the tone of it.
I imagine if somebody just took like our teeny tiny
clip here, So maybe we miss something before we give
them a little benefit of the doubt. And I'm going
to dig into the ry here all of.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
It, because I think that they were just talking about
parenting because I listened. I listened to it the whole podcast.
I listened to like a good chunk of that twenty minutes,
and it was them just going into it talking about
that we're not parenting. The context is there, which is
why that piece is the most important piece of it.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Well, I try, and you tried to kick at Yeah,
we all tried, guys.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
It just it came out of nowhere to me with
the weird part of the beginning, with like disciplining them
when they're maybe when they're doing good, really objective.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yeah, for sure, it just was weird. It was very
odd to me, for sure. Guys. What a time to
be alive. You guys good. It was a little oh yeah, no,
that's fine. It always it again.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I'm not like shameful about it, but like when there's
things like that, and there's certain things that trigger me
a little bit, like I again, but no, we're totally fine.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
It doesn't bother me.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
But that was, like we can I can disagree with
anybody on stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Yeah, I just think like and I'm not. I also
was spanked, But I just grew up in such a
rageful household that like, my parents framed things to be
this is my household, my growing up, not you as
a parent. My parents framed things and created narratives to
make everything that they were up to Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I can only remember being spanked like once, so I was, but.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
I did get spanked but I also don't think it was.
I don't remember a time where I was like I
was that was the thing. I did grow up with
a lot of violence, though, it just wasn't against us. Yeah,
So I just sometimes I'm this has been an interesting
thing because recently I've been in a couple of like
(33:31):
little tiny spats. Yeah, more just like I boil things
down to just exactly what it is. Like there's this
like clarity that I have where narratives don't affect it.
Like I'm like, but that's what it is, and that's okay.
I'd just not me like, but like speaking is hitting.
It's not that you're beating your child. I'm not, it's
(33:54):
not that. But like I think sometimes we as a
society like maybe create things around things to make things
okay that I don't know, like if we call it this,
then it's not that. And if we did this, then
it's not that, you know, but like that is what
it is, and it's okay, it's not we sugarcoat it.
You mean, Yeah, that's yeah for sure, you know. Yeah, right?
(34:18):
Does that make am I making any sense?
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (34:32):
I'm a mom in my early forties and after being
out of the workplace workforce for fifteen years to raise
my kids. I was recently offered a job that feels
like a dream come true. It's in a field i've
always wanted to break into. The team seem supportive, and
the work aligns with with both my interests and the
kind of impact I want to make. The problem well,
the salary is quite a bit lower than I was
hoping for. Not impossible to manage, but definitely tighter than
(34:56):
i'd like, especially as I try to rebuild financial independence
At this stage of life, juggling family responsibilities, personal growth,
and a real desire to feel fulfilled at work, I'm torn.
Do I take the leap for a job that lights
me up even if the pay isn't great, or should
I hold out for something that better reflects my value
even if it's not as exciting. I think that's a
(35:20):
tough one because I think if it's something you really
want to do, like I have taken things that are
I took a movie this year that was well below
my quote, but it was something I love being on set.
I love making movies. I thought it was a really
fun project, and I think it was one of those
things where.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
You know you're rewarded.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
I think in the end, like this could be something
that's great, something comes up that better reflects than awesome.
I think you could always change. But I also understand
there's a piece too where your expertise is value it
should valued. So I'm torn with that because I do
think you should get what you deserve. But if it's
(36:06):
something you really want to get into, you've try and
been trying to get into, my gut says, take the leap.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I mean, I worked in the music business for like
no money for a very long time. Yeah, so yeah,
because I loved it, So I am all for that.
I think it's easier said than done to do that
as a woman than it is as a man. I
will that sounds sexist, but I will stand by that
as long as I'll live, because it is just different,
you know, for a man who's going to have a
(36:32):
family and supporting a family versus a woman who may
you may you may not, But I'm all about doing
what makes you happy if it's less money.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah. I also just wonder if it is so set
in stone this salary, like is there a way to negotiate?
I think sometimes we sure I can speak for myself
take things as face value and I don't negotiate back. Well,
so I'm like, oh, okay, that's just is what it is.
Like I'd be afraid to ask for more. That's like
a character flaw for me. I'd be afraid to Yeah,
(37:03):
that's hard.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
So maybe it's like, hey, I will is there more?
If not, Okay, I'll do this for this amount of time,
but moving forward if I if I stay at this
longer period, I'd like.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
I did that more pay I did that in the music,
you know, I was like, hey, I'll you know, I'll
do this because you know you're worth Yeah, that's right.
Knowing that I'm working my way towards something, I think
sometimes like you just got to know that and in
the end is there going to be a reward and
the end are you going to be able to work
towards something where you're.
Speaker 4 (37:29):
The connections that you're meeting people. That's why I do
certain things that aren't like all right, will this intro
me to good other good peeps and producers and this
and the other. You know, so, yeah, there's things that
we're going to do potentially later this month where it's
no money, just going out there and trying to shake
some hands and it's like you gotta It's something that
lights up and you gotta do it. You know. It's
(37:50):
I think, I think, go for it and then the
right thing will always come along no matter what, if.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
You're if you're open to it, Yeah, I agree, agreed.
Well what an episode, guys? Is good? A little? I
looked at the camera at one point and go, I
really feel sad. Do you feel no good? Everything's good.
We started a podcast just like it's great. On that note,
we hope to all see you. Thanks, thanks for coming.
Host
Jana Kramer
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