Holding Space

The holidays are coming, and where is everyone going to stay?? Kristen shares her dilemma of how to comfortably celebrate Christmas with the in-laws in town. 

Jana opens up about the struggle of how much to share about her life online and how she handles the trolls. 

We dive deep into the relationship strain that comes with Dancing with the Stars, beach Bluetooth speaker etiquette, and  find out what happened when Jana took the gang on a yacht!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hello ladies, we're all together again.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
I forget that y'all were here last week. I know
you were here for like a half second.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Literally same because I got the little alert from the podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
I knew.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
I was like, oh, And then I was like what
was this? And I pressed play. I was like, oh my.

Speaker 4 (00:21):
Gosh, I did the same thing. I was like, when
was this?

Speaker 3 (00:23):
I was like, oh what, I missed you?

Speaker 4 (00:27):
And they don't look familiar.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
So a lot of times I'm like, you know, I
might not be in the clip, so I'm like, was
I there?

Speaker 4 (00:32):
Was I not? Then I was like, what are they wearing?
Like I don't remember this.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
I was like, oh wait, I was gone. It was
literally the day. Yeah, the next day I got back
from Paris and the next day I left. I forget
because you were just gone. But I mean I was
pretty much sleeping through the episode.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
Anyway, Honey, how are we doing over there? You're like,
you awake, You're doing good, You're doing great. But now
we're all back. I missed you, Kay, cambrayk to you.
I think I vote myself most likely to have separation
anxiety when we're away from each other. No me. Never.
Yesterday I was like, don't tell me too much about
your vacations. But high girls, I miss you. I do

(01:07):
just miss you and I love that y'all. Like I
want to know about fall break. Tell me everything. You're
on a yacht.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
It was just so funny because it came after the
y everyone's like you.

Speaker 4 (01:19):
I was like, oh my gosh, that's so funny.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Like, yes, it was, Yeah, I mean it was.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
I felt bad I weren't there, oh to be on
the boat with I can't swim, so I.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
Don't feel any I don't feel boats. It is something
you guys could always do sures in the invite. Maybe
if there's a life preserver and a little more low
I might make my way, But I'm most likely going
to pass on anything on the water, even really on
a boat like that size, well, I mean that is
really a boat at that point. It is again it's
more of like a building. But no, I would do

(01:51):
that probably, but it's not my first pick.

Speaker 5 (01:54):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Interesting things we learned.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
About each other decades, Yeah, a lot about you.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
So you'd rather be on land than see for sure.
I love to look at the water. I'll put my
toes in it. Sure, sure, yeah, I mean it's just
like the late girl in me. I'm just not a
big like what Lies beneath kind of great movie.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
By the way, it's so good.

Speaker 5 (02:14):
So good.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
Yeah, I don't know that literally one of my favorites.

Speaker 3 (02:19):
Yeah, it's good.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
I mean Michelle Pfiffer in that movie. Sorry, yeah, squirrel moment.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
But you went on a boat together, you had fun.
I didn't know that was going to be a thing,
and I was like, wait, you're on a boat and
you're so cute. We kind of talked about, yeah, are
you going.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
So like, you know, I'm always planning on going. We
go with like the cheer Mom friends, and you know,
we've had a lot of kind of ups and downs
in the last you know whatever, and so last year
if she was there, but they're about twenty minutes away
and I didn't get to see her last year. And
you know, when you stay with someone, you kind of
feel like you have.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
To, like funny be something I have pinned.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Yeah, okay, well you know how you feel like you
kind of have to be with them and you feel bad, like, hey,
I'm going to leave and go see you know, so
That's how I've always kind of felt, honestly. So this
last time, I was like, we've got a new family
that's staying with us, We've kind of changed some things up,
and I don't even know how long they're going to
be there. There was no like I had to be,
you know. So I was like a call Jane. I
was like, we're doing stuff this year, Like, let's do stuff.

(03:17):
So we kind of talked about doing about I did
not know I was showing up to a yacht either,
just so we're very.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
Clear, this is so Cramy.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
I'm told Ramsey she was going on a pontoon and
then we get there and he's like, this is no pondtoon.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
No, Ramsey's like, what's a pond tuon? We'll just going
to start with the yacht for you, honey.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
That really sends the groundwork, yes, So but it ended
up being good.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
The family ended up still being there. But I was like, hey,
I wasn't sure how long y'all going to be there,
And it was totally fine. Like they went and did
their thing and we went did that for a little while.
I left the teens back there, and even though I
made Amy very jealous, I text her, I go, welp,
we're on a yacht.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
Sorry.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
She was like, well, this is a good lesson learned
that when your parents are inviting to do something, you
just go.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
I didn't fight her. I didn't even.

Speaker 6 (04:00):
Oh wow, well, savage cat. Here's the deal. The way
we do fall Break is it is one for the teens.
They are running around with their friends in seaside, like
I barely see them, and so I just didn't think
that she would want to and she would have loved
it for like an hour, but then she'd be like, Okay,
I want to go see my friends.

Speaker 4 (04:18):
You know, why do I have this?

Speaker 1 (04:19):
They get on their bike and they're gone like all
day long. So that's just kind of what fall Break
is for them. So no, she never got invited, so
she she was kind of bummed about it though, but
it was amazing.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
It was so much fun. The kids were so cute
out four.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Hours four hours you okay, that's great. And it was
one of those things where when I did you.

Speaker 3 (04:38):
Book this Bookay?

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Well, when I was looking it up, there was I
saw them on Instagram and I was kind of looking
at looking at the different boats and so there's different
options where like you could get you can get a
pontoon with a slide, you can get you could get
a yacht, and I was I was really trying to
break it down. I'm like, all right, last year we
went on the pontoon and I again had a very

(05:02):
terrible parenting moment where Jolie swim with basically the sharks.

Speaker 4 (05:06):
I thought we were doing that again. By the way.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah, I was like, it's fine, everything will be Fine's
chum Okay.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
Again, I still am like, how did I even allow
this to happen? But it's fine, So she's fine.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
She caves it. Please don't right to us.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah, so you know that happened, and so I'm like,
we already did that. But having Roman at that age
on that boat, trying to keep him on that boat
was also a struggle, right, I guess a lot of anxiety.
I'm starting to think. I'm like, I don't want to
We don't have any sitters in thirty A. We had
one that our the baby Quip company that we used
for his crib. She had offered us one last year,

(05:45):
but she wasn't available this year.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
So I was like, I.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Don't want to not do it. But at the same time,
I feel like being on a pontoon for four hours
with Roman is also going to be a little bit
more challenging because he's just doesn't want to just sit down,
and I think he needs a little bit more room
to play. And then I'm like, in a locked door yeah,
I mean truly, that age is busy. Yeah, And I

(06:13):
would feel safer with him on a bigger boat, and
I think the kids would have more fun. We would
have more fun. And I just I am again, you
guys know me. I don't like to spend money, right, Why,
I'm shocked you're on a YPP No, But friendship wise,
you do love for experiences and for family stuff. I
will spend the money. It's just if it's an experience

(06:35):
that everybody's going to enjoy it. My friends are going
to enjoy it, my kids are going to enjoy their
kids are going to enjoy I am like, it's worth
the money.

Speaker 4 (06:43):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Now again, that's where I just am like, it's about
the experience that everyone's going to have fun.

Speaker 3 (06:50):
Let's do it.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
So I'm like, you know what, Yolo, let's book the
app for four hours. I love a good sunset too,
so we'll do a post nap where he's had his
nap out this you know, fun. We got to jump
off the boat too, and Catherine stayed on the boat.
She she was the girl.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
I stayed back, which I'm not scared usually, but I
was also like, I think I'm good.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
It was weird.

Speaker 6 (07:14):
I might call that scared and discuss, but that's because
I get older, I might be getting a little bit
more scared.

Speaker 4 (07:19):
Literally was like, I think, okay, I would I.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
Would like to say in my anxious world that my
awareness grows.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah, it's growing for me. Yeah, app also grows. But anyways, yes,
I took one go after it.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
So yeah, and I feel like everyone had a really
nice time. It was you had sandwiches, It was beautiful.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
Yeah, it was. The kids were playing Uno inside the thing.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
You know.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
We saw some dolphins that was so like right when
we started, dolphins were like going out with us. I
mean it was dolphins, Like it was amazing.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
It was an add on, but it was great, and
I just I think, again, experiences like that together are work,
are worth that.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
I thought it was great. I texted Jani message here
on Instagram and I was in caps lock and I was.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
Like, you guys are so cute, how much it.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Was so well, and it's like you think about like
to me that because you know that's where all spend
money too, is on vacations and stuff like that, like
those like Ramseys will never forget that, you know what
I mean? Like that to me is just like she
won't like she will always remember that. That will be
a memory. She will talk about everything we've done on
vacations and it just it's just worth it to me,
you know, like they just they remember those things.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
I would rather do that for a family than buy
myself a nice pair of agreed shoes or the shoes too.
But for me, it's like I'd rather spend that money
like that is where I'm going to allot my extra money, Yes,
for that one time for fall break. You know, I
married you to everybody literally this is Preston. I want

(08:51):
everybody to have fun, Like it was great seeing Nick
and Catherine have Nick's.

Speaker 4 (08:56):
Never having that.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
He did he was first, Yeah, I thought it would
be Cavier and champagne and it's uncrustables.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
Strange cheese, like he lived his best life. Like we
went to dinner. He's like, well, I had like ten sandwiches.
He just like he loved it. I mean he's on
a fishing boat. You know, he doesn't go on yacht.
You know, like that's just not his But it was
like so cool, like we loved it and so appreciated it.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Of course, and it was again it was just I
love seeing people happy and relaxed and kids having fun.
That is just that brings me so much joy. That
is priceless to me. Yes, in those moments. And I
will forfeit any Jimmy Chow shoe for that.

Speaker 4 (09:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Instead, I've got Jessica Simpson shoes for the premiere. So
that was my kind of page when I loved somebody
I loved. So that is what I'm wearing under my dress.
It's some Jessica the es. They arrive in a couple
of days. Okay for me, we'll see very excited about that.
But you guys, I do have a topic I want
to bring up, oh yes, regarding fall break and I

(09:56):
want to know your thoughts. I literally wrote it down
while it was sitting on the beach because I have
thoughts around it. Okay, I was like, I want to
know what the girls think. What are your thoughts? About
people playing music next to you on the beach.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
I don't have a strong opinion on this one.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
I do.

Speaker 4 (10:16):
I can see that Christian I.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
Do.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Well, let's start with the non strong opinion. I just
see both sides go for it.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
I think if I'm out on the beach with a
certain kind of group of people and we want to
have fun and listen to music, then like, great, we
should be able to. But then I also see the
other side where I'm sitting there wanting to read a
book and like, can you turn your music off? So like,
I just don't have a strong opinion because I can
see where we Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 4 (10:49):
I just I see both sides on that one.

Speaker 3 (10:51):
Is it pinned for you because you have an opinion?
I do have an Okay, but I'd like to hear
your spirit. So I don't love it unless everyone's all in.
I don't think it's.

Speaker 4 (11:00):
How do you get an entire beach all in?

Speaker 3 (11:02):
Well, listen if people around you around you, like, if
the people around you are like a few stalls down,
I can't hear you.

Speaker 7 (11:14):
We definitely exited the yacht vocabulary. A couple of stalls down,
a couple of chairs sets down.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
Yeah, yeah, Like I really love to hear the seagulls
in the ocean. You know, they say it's one of
the very few like full sensory experiences for human beings,
is the ocean that you can feel, touch, taste, you know,
all of it smells. So I want to have that.
If I want to have that, and I don't necessarily
need to hear you know, yeah Kenny Chesney, Yeah, over

(11:43):
and over again, And and that is no offense to him.
He's lovely, but I just I don't love it. And
I also what's interesting about this is that again I've
married my opposite because when we go to the pool,
he brings his own boom box and he wants it
to be an epic party, you know, Like that's just
who Preston is. And I don't mind music out there.

(12:04):
I think it's I think music always sets a tone.
We did a lemonade stand yesterday. We played Forest Frank
lemonade on repeat, like it just brings another element. But
there is a time and a place where I think
people are just trying to relax, Like the beach is
one where, and sometimes the music is great, and sometimes
I want to hear a seagull and a wave crash.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
So I find it a bit selfish, Okay, I do, yes,
And here's here's here's why. So I agree with and
I agree with all of you guys. Yeah, but this
is this is was just my thought about it. If
it was back in twenty thirties, wouldn't have cared honestly,

(12:43):
like literally don't care. Like I probably was the person
that too, you know, maybe had music.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
We didn't have anything we could do that.

Speaker 4 (12:51):
Yeah, yeah, but maybe.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
I would have my headphones in in the days of
your But yes, I love there's nothing more. I don't
get to hear the sound of ocean waves besides on
my noise maker at bedtime, and it's not the real
ocean waves, you know, And they're inspired by a true story,
I'm sure right. And my thing is it's I think it's.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
Loaded. Okay.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
I would like the person next to you to ask. Now, granted,
I'm not going to be the person that says, no,
it won't. I'm too much of a I don't want
to say I'm not I'm definitely not a people pleaser,
but I'm I'm too afraid to actually speak my opinion
in that moment to be like, actually, no, I don't
because I don't know that makes me then sound like
a bitch.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
Or something, right, right, so I would be like, oh, yeah,
no worries at all.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
But it's the fact that you're at least asking the
people next to you to go, hey, is it cool
that I, you know, play the music?

Speaker 3 (13:44):
Now?

Speaker 2 (13:44):
Granted we're on a public beach. You can do what
you want, right, But it's the awareness of the people
that around you that I think bothers me. Now what,
I love to listen to my Christians music, which you
know I like to listen to when I'm in those places. Yes,
but does the person to my right left want to
hear Wholly Forever by Chris Tomlin.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
I mean that I'm walking about right, but maybe not
right for sure, but maybe not.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Maybe that's like maybe that would be offensive to them,
Maybe that they don't listen to grit, Maybe they don't
believe in that right, Maybe they don't like that kind
of music.

Speaker 5 (14:13):
No.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
Granted, the person to my right on this day not
the lovely people that we met from Atlanta, Georgia. They
were lovely and so sweet and so kind. The other
people that sat there were walking out to country guys.
I love country. We used to sing country music, you know.
But I don't want to hear Morganwallen on the beach
right now. I want to hear the beach waves of
my kids laughing, and the seagulls and the noise and all.
I don't want to listen to your music. It's loud.

(14:35):
It's drowning out my own thoughts. And now I'm getting
pissed sitting here, and I'm not real lacked anymore. And
I actually love Morganwallen or Riley Green or whoever that's
playing right there, any location in the playlist, Damn, that's
the only thing.

Speaker 3 (14:46):
If I'm not going to accidentally hear, my husband shut
it off. But I just don't want to.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
I just find it a little bit rude and a
little selfish that you're playing your music so loud for
everyone else to hear. If it's on a smaller it's
it's not so loud, you know, Like these kids are
walking by with you, like that's fine, because you're walking by,
it's fine. Sometimes when I'm running, I've got my I
don't want to have EarPods in, but my Christian music
that anyone heard when I was running on the thirty

(15:09):
a walk or whatever, or my run two seconds past,
you don't hear me anymore, right, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (15:17):
So I don't know.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
It just kind of bothered me, and I'm like, man,
I wonder how someone else would feel about this, because
I don't want to be that and I would never
ever tell someone to turn it off. And I wouldn't either, no, never,
And it's you know, once I'm listening to it like
it's okay. I like the song too, but it just
kind of made me go, it's a bit selfish.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
I think, Well, there's also a responsibility you have when
you're playing the music because they have to be a
lyrically like rated G in my brain. So then you're
also like I when I'm the DJ at baseball, you know,
there's a lot of songs that don't make the cut
these days. So am I going to get a hate
for this for me? But I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
I definitely agree that if you're going to play music
that you should say something to the people around you,
and just.

Speaker 6 (15:59):
The perimeter piece that's sure to go down like chair
And we're not playing music on the beach by any means.
But I'm kind of.

Speaker 4 (16:05):
As like next to us.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
Yeah, and I've never had that experience where it's like
super loud and next to you. I mean, I usually
end up if it is happening, I'm like, oh I
like this song or like, but it's kind of like,
I do think you should say something. I do think
you should be like, hey, do you mind? And then
at that point, if someone doesn't want to speak up,
then I guess you know nothing.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
But like if someone was again, I'm not the person
that you know would say anything, I would be actually
mortified if I was like, can you turn that down?

Speaker 3 (16:32):
Because I actually do.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
I do enjoy the country music, right, I just don't
want to listen to it right now on the beach
next to us when I'm like, I'd like to just
process this last day of seeing the waves coming and
out and hearing the sound. And then I think a
lot of people would probably agree with you.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
I mean, and I don't love it by any means,
but I think there's a part of me that was like, Okay,
like I understand they want to have fun and they
want to you know whatever, but yeah, I mean, I
safety wise.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
I like to be able to hear what's going on.
That's the other piece for me.

Speaker 4 (17:01):
That loud. Then I definitely have a problem.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
Yeah, my husband at the pool.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
I'm like, if you can't hear the safety stuff going on,
and that is too loud, Like no one should have
it on the beach that.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
Loud, loud enough for you to hear it. I just
find it.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Turn it you can sing along. Way, have a problem, Yeah,
just turn it down and listen. I'm in mindful of
it on my back porch. And we don't have homes
because we're up on the hill. I'm still mindful of
the volume of which because I've had people in certain
neighbors at lake houses where they just blast their music
and it's like, I know, listen, dude, I don't want
to hear your jazz music. I don't like jazz music.

(17:35):
No I do.

Speaker 4 (17:36):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
Well, good to know, and.

Speaker 4 (17:38):
Now we're opinion about jazz music.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
Well, I also don't want to I don't like and
I don't like the boo boo boot music. Yeah music,
I can't get an anxiety.

Speaker 3 (17:47):
Well, And I also don't appear like I'm such a
crimadgeon because I feel like people are like I feel.

Speaker 4 (17:53):
You know, we're too old for this.

Speaker 7 (17:54):
Yeah, but I also do just like Karen, am I
too old? But I didn't say anything. Karen, A Karen,
you're getting close.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
You say something, You've become a Karen.

Speaker 3 (18:03):
I already have one. I'm like, no, I don't like it.
Turn it off.

Speaker 4 (18:08):
Take a poll.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
Okay, guys, I'm sorry. That just was just a topic.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
At random questions like that. I hate that I didn't
have a strong opinion on it, though.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
I do get both sides. I really do. I really do,
truly get both sides.

Speaker 5 (18:33):
Congratulations you finally dump that dude. Now you're ready to
listen to I Do Part two. Listen to I Do
Part two on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast or
wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
I actually have another question that you might have a
strong opinion on it. I don't know if we want
to use it now or pin it for another time.
Is it a whine about it? It could be.

Speaker 4 (18:57):
Let's do it. Let's do it, Let's make it. Are
you a house or a hotel?

Speaker 3 (19:02):
Person? Is my question. If you're going on vacation and
someone offers you their home to stay in, would you
rather stay with someone or would you rather go to
a hotel?

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Hotel Okay, would would the people? This is a very
loaded question. It's okay, there can be a million little layers.
Are you traveling, how well do you know the people?
You would know them really well. Do they have kids?

Speaker 3 (19:30):
No? Are you bringing your kids? Yes? I would probably
do hotel. Okay, if is there any circumstance where you
pick home over hotel, because there's.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
Not for me, yes, I mean I did that really
a couple times.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
And but for me it's I didn't know the people.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
It was the other side, okay, and I wonder careful
because they're lovely and I don't even want to say
when or where, but like it's I don't want to
feel on.

Speaker 3 (20:02):
That is my biggest issue.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
Yeah, I want to be able to not speak, not talk,
just be present with my family or feel like I
have to be on with whoever's in the house.

Speaker 3 (20:14):
Now.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
I will always offer my house to other people. I
do it all the time. I just said to Ben
and Nila, like when they're coming in for the premiere
or Sadie, I mean Meg, But if it was flipped,
I would do I would do a hotel. And I've
been offered like Sarah Boyd, perfect example, she's offered, she's lovely,
she's branding, you know manager, you know friend has kids,

(20:36):
same age, daughter, the same age as Jolie.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
But there's still.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
I was still looking at Airbnbs because it's just there's
something about that being on piece and she's one of
my dear friends. I still would just want that separation. Okay,
we're going in. Okay, let's do it, so jump one in.

Speaker 3 (20:59):
I I also agree it's less about being a little
bit of being on for me, but more just that
the way that I'm wired, I want to leave whatever
space it is better than I found it. So I
end up spending more, spending more time cleaning, like I
want to, Yeah, I want to. If I'm a guest
in the home, I want to be the guest best
guess you've ever had. I want to like replenish what
my kids. I don't want to be stressed out about.

(21:21):
Like it's just like let me just be in my
little vacuum so that I know what they're eating and
drinking and I don't have to replenish or just kind
of exhaust me. And that's my own stuff.

Speaker 4 (21:30):
Like I'm that way, but I'm not even that way,
and that exhausts me.

Speaker 3 (21:33):
Okay, so good to me majorly.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
And I'm not like that in my own space, but
if I'm in someone else's space, I will completely stress
about it.

Speaker 3 (21:40):
Yeah, I'm like, is it what time is it? What
time do they want to go to bed? Do they
want to go to bed? And they're just afraid to
say they didn't want to go? Yeah, like it's it's
too much. It's just all part ways and get home.
I love a kid isn't out because it's time for
bed time and they have to go. Yeah, right only but.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
Also kids kid wise. I mean I'm apologizing for room
and left and right. Sure I don't have to do that.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
There's only one home I can stay in and I
feel completely welcome, completely myself and I don't stress out.
And that is the other half of our duo.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Like I will go and campus as you guys have
actually lived together on tour bus, yes, yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:11):
And it's just we do so well together. We I mean,
it's just great. So here's where back to stereotypical Kristin again.
So Christmas is coming while I know, and so I'm
trying to get ahead of where everyone will stay so
that we're not spending a fortune on accommodations, and Love

(22:35):
is in a big event this year. She's in the
Nutcracker for her ballet class. I know, I just send
the details out to you guys if you want to
come watch two pm and six pm showing. And so
I've invited the grandparents my mom included, to come in
for the Nutcracker. And then I thought we'll just buffer
with a couple of days so that we could do
our family Christmases together. And I don't think me booking

(22:59):
an airbnb is well received for them. For them, okay,
So I have found there's a neighborhood really really close
to ours. It's precious as walkability, shops, restaurants, it's so cute.
And I found this sweetest little bungalow house. You know me,
I'm vetting it out so it's cozy. Each each bedroom
has its own full bathroom, because that was this for

(23:21):
his parents, my mom, okay, And I was going to
do like a temperature check, like do you guys want
to be together? Do you want to be at a hotel?
Is that weird? But ultimately it's just for sleeping, showering,
and then they're at our home all day so I thought, well,
this would feel cozy to me that I could give
them this because there's no real beds at my house.
There's we've lofted Legends beds. Now there's not even a

(23:44):
bottom bunk. The baby has a crib and love has
this Swee's not room for all these people there. We
could air mattress them or air mattress kids, but then
you're just you can't I have like Legends beds six
feet in the air. We just don't have the accommodations.
And we had brainstorm having accommodations by then, but we
don't have that shocking, So I'm just going, how can
I do this and we can just be buttoned up
and done. And I think that the original when I

(24:07):
sent it out, I said, you know, I've one set,
was like, I'll get a hotel. And then I thought,
well that's weird. And now you're having your own experience,
Like it's still cozy to me that you go back
at night and you could you know, even if you
just say good night or you have some bond. I mean,
you're the grandparents, so that's exciting to me. And our
parents are never really ever have been together, like.

Speaker 4 (24:26):
Yeah, see I wouldn't want to do that.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
I can I say something, I don't take us the
wrong way. I would never put two people together because
then they're kind of putting them. You're making them be together.
That to me will give them an option. So I
just tell my mom, listen, if you want to get
a hotel, you can. The problem is we're going to
have to pay for all of this. And so at
the point where now I get pained at that pace, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
I didn't want to pay for two separate hotel rooms
for three nights. I get it, plus plus plus plus,
I trust me, get it. Yeah, I know. So I
just thought, listen, this is great, it's really close. My
mom is going to get a car, which I think
will alleviate some of it, so she's not like stuck.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
So is the pushback that they want to be at
your house or is the pushback that they're being put together?

Speaker 3 (25:09):
The indirect pushback is I think that they'd want to
be at our house.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Okay, so it's not about them actually together in the house, then.

Speaker 3 (25:15):
No, I don't think. So, I said, I just want
you all to have real beds. You deserve to have
real beds in real bathrooms.

Speaker 1 (25:21):
Well, at that point, it's your money and it's your house.
That is the other option, So that's not an option
that's on the table, I do think though.

Speaker 3 (25:31):
I didn't want to bunk them, so I wanted to
make sure that the floor plan was spaced out. You
know that they're not having They'll be with us breakfast, lunch,
and dinner.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
I mean, as long as they're okay with that, but
they don't. I mean, it's your home.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
I just kept thinking, like, goodness, gracious, if anyone is
offering me a Airbnb, like thank you some you know,
obviously I wouldn't take it. I would well send me
or whatever.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
Well, what would happen in that situation, Like if if
I'm one of them and I truly just don't want
to stay, but I know that's the option, I would say,
thank you so much for the for We're going to
get a hotel, and I would pay for the hotel.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
One hundred percent. And also, this is so interesting, this
is coming up too. So when we were we posted
when we were at the beach at our place, someone
that we know very close to that actually is like
my business manager essentially was like, that's my same building,
and I was that you're staying and that you're airbing
being and I'm like, oh my goodness, I had no idea.

(26:24):
And he's like, next year, just stay there and I said,
so sweet, But I don't.

Speaker 3 (26:29):
I don't. I can't do it.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
I do not like staying at people's place rent free
or like I would rather airbing be out than feel
like someone is giving me a free place.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
I don't know, it bothers me. There's a stress level
that comes with yeah it and and not it's we're.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
Not close enough to but also like I still would
feel weird about it.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
Akareed agreed. So I just said I thought yesterday I
said to Christine, I was like, I'm forty three, and
there's no way if if a time and listen, I
know I come across impossible on the show. You guys
know how deeply I love. Like what's wild, though, we'll
know quickly if the parents listen to this is that
at the beginning of November, all of my Eastern Michigan

(27:14):
girlfriends are going and them and their daughters are staying
in my house for one night.

Speaker 6 (27:17):
Oh man, well yeah, backmire.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
But it's funny because love actually was like so crazy.
So the Eastern girls are piling in. But you know, yeah,
pop up and grass stuff.

Speaker 4 (27:30):
It's different. Yeah, it's also you're probably gonna hear about it,
but it is. It is different.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
Yeah. But also like they can climb up to a
six foot loft. I don't know. I just said, well true,
It's just I don't know. I just I love that
people will open their houses. I think that's so great.
Airbnbs people are always like come stay. You know. Rosemary
Beach for Nashville is like the up North for Michigan.
So people are always offering homes, condos, whatever. I just
can't not do it either. Yeah, I'd love to remove

(27:56):
the obligation and just have my time.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
Yeah, for sure, guys, this headline had me scream no
at the beach.

Speaker 3 (28:16):
No it did.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
Diane Keaton fame for roles in the Father of the Bride,
First Wives Club, and more. She died at night seventy nine.
I literally I opened when I was coming up to
make lunches or whatever. I looked at my phone and
was like, no, I love Dyankeet and I mean Family Stone.
I'm not gonna be able to watch that the same
now and then something's got to give. Were my absolute
two favorite. I mean I had always dreamt of meeting her,

(28:40):
and of course working with her had be insane, but
never met her, never got to But she's just like,
she's so iconic that one just killed me.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
Just the words of wisdom she has. She's so great,
She's so phenomenal. Her work is phenomenal, her style was phenomenal,
her smile was infectious. But her works are just really,
really beautiful. This headline might resonate with you, KB. Dylan
Efron reveals while Dancing with the Stars has been tougher
for his girlfriend Courtney. You know, studio five hours a day,

(29:12):
he's dealing with the repercussions. My brain's most my body
hurts and leads Courtney to deal with things on her own,
you know, KB, I feel like you can understand this
where he's like out on the road and he comes
home and he's like, I'm tired, and you're like, oh,
you'ren't tired. Sunday? Was that you're reading my diary? Reilly
silly Gramer. Yeah, I can't. I don't do well. I

(29:34):
try to. We have a twenty four hour unofficial period
in my house where you can reacquaint back in re
entry is what a lot of business families call it,
probably in any business. But then after twenty four I
think what is tricky is that moms don't the primary parent.
I'll say that because it's not just mom's. The primary
parent doesn't get days off and doesn't get to be tired.

(29:59):
So that is some times where it's an ugly word
and I'm really not putting my best foot forward this episode,
but it gets a little resentful for me because what's
it like is the comment I make in my brain,
It's a really ugly comment. What's it like to be
able to take a nap? What's it like to watch for?
You know? That's not great? So I'm trying to reframe recently.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
I have to say, though, and a little bit in
defense of this, I have never in my entire career
seen anything harder or more hard working than Dancing with
the Stars. I mean, you you didn't have moments well,
I think too.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
What was different with my situation was that I was
still on tour. Yeah, and it was towards the last
few weeks that were like we end up canceling the
shows because there wasn't physically time too much like we
are learning glev and I were learning dances, like on
stage after sounds.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
You had to do like multiple dance. I've just never
seen anyone work harder ever. And I mean, and you're hurting,
you got hurt. A lot of people get hurt on
Dancing with the Stars, like you had Jolie, and you
did what you could to see that child, like it
was unbelievable. But a little bit in his defense on this,
it is not not saying anything to Preston, but it's

(31:13):
not just going on the tour. It is not just
going on tour. Dancing with the Stars was hours and
hours and houracy the physical work, and so would still
be frustrating. I mean, of course it would still be
frustrating on the other end having to deal with everything,
But I mean it is it is a different ballgame.
Like there's no way he's napping, you know what I mean,

(31:34):
There's no way, Like he's lucky to get a normal
night's sleep.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yeah, in the midst of it, I think it's hard
to be the person that gets the leftover when someone's
chasing their dream.

Speaker 4 (31:45):
Okay, that's fair.

Speaker 3 (31:46):
That's probably where I resonate with her, for sure, or
and not that he's even this, I don't think that
applies to where we are now. To be honest, I'd
like make jokes about Sunday, but at the very beginning
of marriage and I'm kindkind of knee deep in a
prayer life with a couple of country music that's young
right now, that's kind of going through this, And I
just felt that so deeply. It was like, you are

(32:09):
tired because you're doing bucket list items, you're doing really cool,
amazing things. Some of those things didn't provide for family,
but just we're a really cool opportunity and I want
you to have that. And also it's hard on the person.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
Now I also think too, and this is obviously you know,
your husband, but for you know, you know, for for
Dylan's girlfriend, it's you have It's like you said, you
have no clue, Like there's so much that it's so hard.
So it's like to be in their shoes too, to
be in even Preston's shoes, like doing the yeah, you know,

(32:45):
being on like that and stuff.

Speaker 3 (32:47):
You know, it's it's also having an experience with another woman.
So I wonder if there's a piece of that for
her that will be a piece for me. That would
be a piece for me for sure. Yeah. So like
to have this like once in a lifetime thing, like
all of Preston's once in a lifetime experiences are always
with Chris. Sure, And I love that they have that brotherhood,
Like he's closer with Chris, I think than even his

(33:07):
own brother brothers. So I love that. But it was
with another woman. Yeah, I've already told you. I've said
it on here. We are not Dancing with the Stars. Families.
We will watch it our dad. I will not. I
couldn't do that. No, I don't think I'm and that
canna be my own security. I don't even care to
say it. That's fine.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
I just don't think people realize until they get into
it how much it takes, how close these people really
are when they're practicing. I don't think you have any
clue until you really get there and see it.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
Couldn't do it. I'm not strong enough maybe for that,
I think as a spouse. Yeah, and I'm strong with
a lot of things. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:43):
Chrissy Tiagan shares why she opened up about zembic after
ozembic use after suffering a miscarriage. She said she knew
it would resonate. Since the beginning of social media, I've
always wanted people to know that things weren't as fluffy
and as beautiful as they may seem. I knew it
would really resonate and make a lot of people feel
a lot better about their families and her own bodies.
She said that she made a promise to herself to

(34:04):
be completely transparent on social media, adding that if it
frustrates that, it's frustrating sometimes when other people don't share
their hardships online. I want to like asterisk that comment.
And then she had said that on September eighteenth, the
Self Conscious podcast that she tried the GLP one medication
after struggling to lose weight following her miscarriage with her

(34:25):
son Jack in twenty twenty, admitting that she had deep
depression of seeing this pregnant belly with no baby in it.
I can't even fricking imagine.

Speaker 3 (34:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
I mean, you know, obviously, Catherine, you've been public about
taking that was what was your reasoning for being public
about it?

Speaker 1 (34:45):
I don't if and this is kind of a strong
stance to take. I think it is very unfair to
not be transparent about it. I don't I think that
we are in a world of I'm open about it,
and I'm great, and it's probably one of the best
decisions I've made. But I don't think it's fair for
me to sit in front of people who are struggling
to act as if I just did it on my own.

(35:08):
I don't necessarily see it as a cheat or anything necessarily,
But at the same time, I think you have to
be very open with how any way that you lose weight,
you know, like if someone's just starving themselves, you know,
Like I think you just have to be transparent. You
can't make people believe, especially having daughters that like, oh,
I'm just losing weight. Like I'm just very open with them,

(35:31):
and I think it's very important to be open about that.
I just I just don't it frustrates me when you
see someone are like, there's no way and maybe they're
not on it.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
Do you think it should be public, social or just
in your circle, because I would disagree that you owe
anybody an explanation.

Speaker 4 (35:46):
I don't think you, but I would I if I'm.

Speaker 3 (35:49):
A personal trainer and I'm like, did it on my
own and I'm using that, I think that is misleading in.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
Your circle, but I also I'm sorry, I don't like it,
and I'm I can't think of an example. But if
there are people that have lost weight in that way
and they are.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
Thinking the very beginning of the peoples, how are more
open because more people have been open about sharing From
the beginning, most people are like, obviously they take a
GLP one, they're not going to say it right. But
now I think more people that are being open about
it are speaking about yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
But then I hate it because I feel like people
that actually do work hard and lose it and are like, no,
I didn't do it, They're like, ah, they probably did
it well.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
I think that that's why sometimes I think you can
tell a difference. Sometimes I don't, you know, sometimes I
don't think it's so obvious. And yes, no one owes
anyone anything. I don't disagree with that, but I do
believe in transparency. I do think that what she is
saying is it's important. She wants people to know that
she has struggled, and it's not just easy because you're
if you're just saying, oh, this is so easy, I

(36:46):
just lost this weight, like I just don't. That's just
makes it harder on other people and I don't and
I don't. I hate to see that and people just
watching these people lose all these people lose weight online
and you're like, man, I'm sitting here, I'm trying so
hard and nothing things working, you know. So I just
think it's important to be transparent about it.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
Listen, I'm the one that tells you all the injectables
I get because I think it's important to be transparent. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
The part where she says though, that it's frustrating sometimes
when other people don't share their hardships online, I feel
like I have a bit of a struggle with that
one because I don't think again, I look back, and
I'm like, I regret sharing as much as I have,
which is why I'm way more private with things because

(37:30):
I don't want the opinions of everybody else. And when
you put something out there, your hardships, like, yes, I
will obviously always share things from past and maybe you
know present, but I don't look at someone else and go, okay, like,
let's take my friend, I don't know some some any

(37:50):
star that I've seen or that I follow. I'm not
gonna get frustrated because this actress is not sharing her
hard days or get frustrated. You find that in so
many other influencers out there that share they're happy and
you know sad days. I mean, you've also got you know,
people saying like oh I get so annoyed and people cry.
It's like how people share information is their way of

(38:16):
sharing information, you know. For her to say like I
get fresh and people don't, it's like that's also their
journey too, you know, and unloss.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
I love her.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
I love I'm not like I'm sir beefoot Christine. It's
just an interesting topic to go. I regret so much
of what I've shared, but also the things that I
have shared of help so many people too. So I
love that she's talking about this and helping people through
that because yeah, I mean it's you know, especially after
suffering miscarriage, which I understand, we understand, but you know,

(38:44):
I don't. I don't fault anyone for not sharing certain
things online. We have someone that just went off that
we know that we also follow that said like, oh,
I can't believe they didn't share about this, this person's
death or this, Like where are those influencers? Then it's
like let them. Maybe they're privately doing that you know,
I just don't think people have to share their worst
days because they don't want the opinion of everybody. Again,

(39:08):
I have such regret about certain things I've shared, but
also we'll probably continue because I know it helps people.

Speaker 3 (39:14):
So it's a too sitim saying.

Speaker 4 (39:15):
Yes one hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
And really I kind of want to go back a
little bit when on what I said talking about that
in the sense that no, I don't think that they
have to They don't have to talk about it.

Speaker 4 (39:26):
I don't like, but it can go okay.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
That makes me see that point of view a little bit,
like they don't have to share that. Like I wouldn't
expect them to share all of their hardships. It's their page.
They can share whatever they want to share. So I
do believe that. So going back and with my answer
a little bit going, I just want you to be honest.
If it's asked and you talk about it, you don't
have to share everything. You shouldn't have to share everything online.

(39:53):
It's your page, it's your opinion, and you can now
if you're an influencer, your celebrity, just know you may
lose some, you may gain some for it. That's just
what you have to know you may not want to
share about this, that, and the other, and people might
not like that, or they may like that.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
I see both sides of it. But I also follow
people that do that, and then follow people that don't
and don't I don't. I don't get frustrated the person
that doesn't do it because they want to live their
life more privately, and I respect that because I also
didn't and have learned the mistakes of that too.

Speaker 3 (40:23):
I just think there's so much judgment. Like I love
to share real life experience, I may not share it
in real time if I'm still trying to process or
keep my family protected or healthy, yeah or yeah or maybe,
Like I do think the human experience when you share
it is just invaluable. But I also know that there's
been times if I was to just out to share something,

(40:45):
it wouldn't be for the right reason if I was
sharing it in real time.

Speaker 4 (40:48):
Right.

Speaker 2 (40:49):
Sometimes I've learned to never share an open wound. The
backfire many times with wind down with my ex yep,
you know, And That's something that I've always taken. It
has to be healed before I can really share it.
If I'm ready for the opinions of everybody else.

Speaker 3 (41:04):
Yeah, and also the vast amount of judgment. It's there's
this like very underlying angry mentality that I just can't
do on social media. It's just like, what what does that?
I almost just want to be like, sys sit down
and take a minute. Why does this offend you? Why
does this irritate you? What is it about you that

(41:25):
makes this? Like? You know, if I'm caring so overtly
about and outwardly about somebody's issue, it's usually has nothing
to do with them for me.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
Yeah, like the people that it's not about, there's something.

Speaker 3 (41:39):
Yeah, I'm like, I'm fired up something they're hitting a
nerve with me? What is that nerve?

Speaker 2 (41:44):
But I would be upset though if it was a
fitness trainer and this person did do a jail and
wasn't honest about that, that would bother me because I'm
like your false advertisement.

Speaker 3 (41:52):
Yeah, Like the girl in Going On, She's like I
had a light bulb.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
I mean.

Speaker 8 (41:58):
That's what I'm saying, And it's I mean, you get
to a point where it's like you just you can
be honest about that and not false advertise and say
I am a trainer and I'm doing this, like there's
a way to do that.

Speaker 1 (42:09):
But yeah, the opinions I understand. At the same time,
people don't want, especially in the front end of this
whole thing, people didn't want negative opinions.

Speaker 3 (42:16):
People.

Speaker 4 (42:17):
It's hard. People don't want to hear it.

Speaker 1 (42:19):
People don't want to you know, And sometimes you get
to a point where you're like, I want to share
this anyway.

Speaker 4 (42:23):
Guess what.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
I want to share that video of me crying, And
I don't really care what your opinions are of that
right now, Like you know, sometimes I think you do
get to a point whatever that is, Like I want
to post stuff about Charlie Kirk. I don't really care
what your opinion is of that. Like I'm strong in
my convictions and I'm okay. If that makes you mad,
you can keep walking.

Speaker 8 (42:41):
You know.

Speaker 4 (42:42):
I like her.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
I like yelling along on some murph things. This is
not like it.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
And I'm saying if she doesn't like, no, no, no, I'm saying,
if she doesn't like looking at people crying, right then
move on. You don't have to follow them and you
don't have to look at it. But that's their page
and they have every right to post what they want
to post if they're crying, if they're happy all the time,
whatever that is, you can keep moving on right.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
And it's like I have the photo when I was
sitting in the parking lot at my divorce lawyer the
day that I signed the parenting plan. I was a
mess and I was like I and I did and
it's like, I get why people get annoyed with people
that take videos of themselves crying or pictures. But to me,
it's like I want to look back and have hope
that I'm that I feel better than this picture, and

(43:24):
when something happens that causes me to have that like
I need to see the difference. And that's just I'm
more of a visual I guess, you know, healer and
learner and grower with that. So it's like I want
to see, Okay, from that picture, how do I feel today?
Like I used to in my because my diary. This
is so stupid, but I had this diary from way back,

(43:44):
even from high school all the way up until Mike essentially,
and I would be I would go into the middle
of the the the diary and be like I would
date the date that it was at and go am
I happier now. And it's just like cause I wanted
to like be like, is there a difference? Do I
feel better? Because to me, that's a tracker of am

(44:05):
I on the right path.

Speaker 3 (44:06):
I love that you've always been who you've always been, Like,
that's you now, Like peek and pit everybody, what's you know?

Speaker 1 (44:15):
And guess what you can do that because it's your page.
And if it makes you feel better and it's about you,
or if it's because you're trying to help someone else
feel better and it's about them, all are valid reasons.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
Yeah, And it's a form of creativity. I think that
people don't understand, like when you're creating content, you're really
in it to create content, like real authentic, connective content. Well,
then that's just a form of creativity.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
Yeah, hello ladies. First, I'd like to say how amazing
I think this podcast is. I love the new layout.
Thank you for speaking about your faith in Jesus. Within
the last two to three years, I've gotten more involved

(44:56):
in my local Christian church and getting to know God
on a deeper level. I really enjoy your insights and
how you lean into your faith and get you into
your faith to get you through challenging times. Lastly, I
recently took a leave of absence from work because the
stress of it all made my depression anxiety so much worse.
I have found a psychiatrist and a therapist. Through this,

(45:17):
I have learned that I have chronic PTSD from childhood
and OCD that has been making my anxiety and depression
worse over time. My PTSD comes from physical and verbal
abuse in the home, mainly coming from my brother to
my parents, but also my parents. Like Kristin, I was
never the victim, but saw and heard a lot starting
at the age of eight. Also PTSD from sexual assault

(45:38):
starting at the age of nine. I have two girls
that are five and nine now, and a psychiatrist believes
the age of my oldest has triggered the PTSD even more.
I'm thirty seven and just now starting to deal with
all of this that I have buried for many years.
I know this is a lot, but I'm curious to
know what has worked the best for you girls dealing
with PTSD, anxiety and depression. I'm desperate for any advice

(45:58):
at this point, just to feel normal again. I appreciate
any and all advice you can give me.

Speaker 3 (46:02):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
Wholeheartedly. M thank you for your honest message. Thank you
for listening. You know it's interesting. Oh do you want
to share from your feelings so I know could help people.
We just talked about it, right of cour is it?

Speaker 3 (46:19):
I don't know if it's woundy. I have so much
storty to do and I don't have Amy until next week.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
I got our Wednesday, and I can't give you the.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
No.

Speaker 4 (46:29):
You know what, but I should I go back and
start scheduling.

Speaker 3 (46:35):
No, I think what's really like, there's so much right
now because what's wild is I'm just being met constantly
with something that I know I'm supposed to be working on.
And so I feel like so much of this is
just what's like at the forefront for me right now,

(46:59):
and it's and it's just not lost on me. I
it's not lost on me. It's all I can say
because I can. I mean, as if someone has been
in my head, you know, so much of the memories
I have or loves age and just to be able

(47:21):
to witness how incredible is for a kid to just
be a kid. Is like when I found out I
was pregnant with her, we were do a day apart
so my mom's do date with me, my do date
with love was a day apart, and I knew it
was a girl, and I knew what she would look
like because I just knew. I knew cycles ended with me.

(47:42):
I knew this was going to be a poetic redemption.
And there's so much about the way I parent that
is just all in on childhood. Like I just every
parent loves childhood. We all just soak it up. Like
I am determined to keep them little and not too sheltered,
but just at moderation, you know, like developmentally appropriate moderation

(48:06):
matters to me. And so when she's as you're like,
I honestly like even in parts of that I didn't
even hear because I was just like hold it together,
Like it just came over me like a wave. It's
just a lot right now, and there is some brokenness
in the family, and I don't know what to do

(48:26):
with that right now. So and I also think I
should probably stop talking. I just I'm really struggling with
like how to forgive, because the most recent hurts, these
aren't childhood hurts I'm holding on to. I forgave so
much of that, the hurt that hurts right now is
a more recent hurt, so it's like you should know better.

(48:48):
And there's this fight for little me that I'm like,
we don't get treated that way anymore and we get
to use a voice, and there's just so much of
that that I feel that question. So I'm sorry that
like hit me like a wave. This isn't like me
projecting like I don't. It's so it's so healthily separate
from me, like I don't put my stuff on love

(49:09):
like I love that as if you know, like that
visual of like a mom protecting her kids with a
million arrows in her back, that is it's like they'll
just never know, right, it's just sunshine and there they
have their fair share of reality and hardships, but nothing
it's all age appropriate. That always matters to me. I
think the biggest thing is there's this exercise that I

(49:31):
started doing, and this is EMDR I think is really
really super helpful. I watched Black Rabbit and there's a
scene in Black Rabbit that sent me back and it
was interesting because I I just hadn't I guess I
hadn't like that hadn't been to the front for me
in a while, like not that it's like sealed and

(49:52):
I'm healed and I'm done. It just was like so
I don't know, it was a visceral reaction. Like I
covered my ears and I closed my eyes. It was
like weird, like almost like I didn't I was like,
what is happening to me? But there is something I
do and this is like super holy, So just bear
with me. But like I'll go back to those moments

(50:13):
in childhood and I envision Jesus's hands on my shoulder,
turning me or moving me or protecting me or whatever,
and there's just something really redemptive about that. So the
problem for me is that there's memories that will come
back unexpected that I didn't, like I haven't processed through
or like you know, aren't one of the major ones,
and like I'll see something on TV just reminds me

(50:34):
of that or something.

Speaker 4 (50:35):
There's also a.

Speaker 3 (50:36):
Really great deal of denial and ownership on the parent
side for me. So there's this, you know, a vast
idea of covering things and looking a certain way. And
I'm not here out to trash anyone. I don't want
to like throw anyone under the bus. I just it
is my reality. So I feel like I've been gaslight

(50:57):
quite a bit by a few people in my family
to not speak nice side of the story, and I'm
not I mean, listen, my dad can't defend himself. I
don't want anyone to defend themselves. But there is some truth,
right and it's a nice, lating feeling when you're a kid,
and so I don't want other people to feel that way.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
I think it's also important. I think, you know, my
age is for my stuff is different than y'all. I
don't even remember much of being their ages. Mine is
definitely more teenage years, and I think it's really important
for her to remember the person who wrote in that

(51:38):
you might mess up, that you might because of the
way that you were treated. You might accidentally do that
to your own daughter, and it may trigger something, and
it may, But for me, I've had those moments and
I've realized in those moments, like this is a trigger
from my childhood and it is coming out in me.

(51:58):
Because everyone doesn't do it perfectly. Everyone doesn't just completely
change the cycle.

Speaker 4 (52:05):
And you know.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
It's easier for some, and it is. It's been a
it's been hard for me, you know, I've wanted to
protect my teenage daughter so much because of how I
was treated as a teenage daughter that it's almost backfired
in some ways. And so I think it's just really
important to remember that those things might still come out
on All you can do is learn from that, and

(52:28):
all you can do is see in those moments and
try to do better the next time. But also we
can't protect them from everything, and I think that that's
just one thing I'm really having to learn as much
as I've tried so hard to protect her from those things,
that things still hurt them and still happen.

Speaker 4 (52:46):
It might not be me, but it might be me.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
It might be me.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
I might have done something that hurt her and in
the future she's going to have to deal with that.
But we can only do so much with that, and
we can only do But EMDR was a huge help
for me as well.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
In that dete conception is that cycle breaking is perfection.
It's really just about intention absolutely so like it's not perfect, Yeah,
it's just a constant Yeah, And that's.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
Just something I wanted to mention because that's something I've
gotten really down on myself about.

Speaker 3 (53:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
No, I really wanted to break this cycle, but I
just did X, Y, and Z, and that's something my
mom would have done to me, you know. And it's like,
because it won't be you can't do yeah, and it
doesn't look the same, but you have and it can
be a trigger.

Speaker 4 (53:27):
Yes, majorly.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
I've just told you so much around it that it
will never be the same.

Speaker 4 (53:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
I think to just end on this too, is I
want to just call out she because I'm desperate for
any advice at this point to just feel normal again,
and to the word normal if you like, you know
now that you're listening, sitting on the couch, other people listening,
it doesn't not make you not normal. Yeah, it's just
the season that you're in. You are perfectly normal. You know,

(53:56):
you're actually more normal than ninety percent of the people.

Speaker 4 (53:58):
That word has really been trigged ring me lately. Normal.
What is normal?

Speaker 2 (54:02):
Yeah, you know it's like, I don't like normal person,
And I think we all have seasons that are really
hard and that are really good and storms that are
really difficult storms, and we have beautiful, beautiful days, you know,
and so I don't think there is It doesn't make
anybody less normal. I know, the feeling because against society

(54:24):
is like, what, we have a normal family and a
normal this, and like, it mustn't mean that we're not
normal if we have to go to therapy. No, it
makes us human. And yeah, so just take that. However,
I agree, one big breath and.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
See you next week guys. Yeah, I