September 6, 2021 • 39 mins
Jana is officially back to “Kramer”. Hear her emotional reaction to this major step into the next chapter of her life.
But Jana is also catching up with her old Dancing with the Stars friend Derek Hough! We gotta talk about the “shower dance” with Gleb.
And Derek reveals what he looks for in a dancer now that he’s at the judges table!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I heard radio podcast.
Are we ready for an awesome show? Oh yeah? I
just love the Oh yeah. It's like like not excited
at all. You're like, I'm so excited, and I'm so excited.
This is my excited voice. Um, well, we're gonna need
you to to get a little bit more excited. Okay, all right,
(00:24):
this is you know, it's it's an animation, right, Like
you gotta like, we gotta be excited about this because
I you know, and I need that. I need a
little I like I need a I'm so excited. That's
so much better. Okay. How do you deal with confrontation?
How do I deal with confrontation? It depends. Um, I
like to I don't mind. I don't shy away from confrontation.
(00:46):
You're actually really good with confrontation. I try to be.
I try to sit back and wait a minute, because
my initial reaction kind of like what Chelsea said last week,
is to kind of go. But I try to wait
a minute and breathe. But I don't shy away from it.
I was listening to another podcast earlier, and um, they
were talking about confrontation. And I know I've said before
(01:06):
like I would rather move to a different country than
I have conversation. But I was thinking about it, and
I was like, that was very like twenties Joanna, where
I feel like thirties, late thirties Joanna is UM like
I like and I don't like it. I'm not saying
like i'd like confrontation, but I because I you know,
I had to do something the other day where I
wanted to puke um with a semi confrontation, and I
(01:32):
normally would have just been like, no, like it's fine,
But I feel like when you get older, that stuff
is just like what it has to happen. Yeah, I
think you've gotten better at it, for sure. I think
you just have to. I think it depends on the
situation obviously, but how you're going to handle it. Like,
I think as you get older, you realize to handle
it more as an adult and think through what you're
(01:54):
gonna say and not just spout off and just and
I think you've done a good job with that. I
was just thinking about that because I'm like, I used
to hate confrontation, and now it's I'm too old to
have to play the games anymore, you know. Um. Speaking
of confrontation, not not confrontation, but I was I don't know.
(02:17):
We had like a girl's night a few days ago
and Pamelan was like she basically said that I am
Valume Janna, Vale value you, and Valium is so funny.
Like she was like, post divorce Janna is Valume Janna.
(02:41):
And just a little backstory. When I got my boobs done,
the only thing that gave me a little, like a
little comfort because my chest was so tight and so
the valume just like made me relax a little bit,
and then the muscles, but it made me loopy as fuck.
(03:02):
I mean, I was so loopy, but I was just
like we went over to our house for Easter and
I was like three days post boob job, and I'm
just strutting over there with like my PJ tap and
you know, a skirt, and they were like something like
Jolie was playing. I was like, Okay, it's fine, here's
(03:26):
the deal. It's not a bad thing. But generally you
are kind of the get in, kind of one of
the first to leave. Not a bad way, not in
a bad way, but like the kids have something to do,
it's dinner time, it's bedtime, it's it's something maybe I
just don't want to be there or that it doesn't
say it's something you just don't know. But there that day,
(03:47):
I was like, you got up for a second and
I was like, oh, are you leaving? And You're like, no,
I'm good. That's like what I'm like, No, I'm great.
I was gonna go check out the cheese spread. But
apparently is that me post divorce now? Yeah. So I
was thinking about this the other day when we were
in where were we were in Virginia And by the way,
(04:08):
I haven't taken a volume since day nine of Boop Jobs.
So like it's just mean, it's not that you're just
on yeah, um when we're in Virginia beach, like you're
just so much lighter, so much lighter. I don't know
what it is, Like yeah different, I mean you're still Janna,
but like, yeah, it's kind of like your like them
all the time. You mean, like when I broke out
(04:29):
in a dance party, yes, it was great, but just
in general, like we had a little bit of a
stressful situation, not knowing if we were gonna be able
to get home or not because of Ida, and we
were coming up with all the options and even I
felt like the devil was broad a lady. I was like,
get me home. I was like, it's just a little
it's a little sprinkle, and it's like but amongst that,
(04:54):
you were still so light. Yeah. I was like, well,
I was like, Sudya want me to do this? And
You're like anyway, you were just you were much lighter. Wow,
Valium Janice fun I mean, I have a natural value
in me. Now, hey, I'm really excited because we have
Derrek Kuff coming on the show. He has a new
show that he's debuting in Vegas called The No Limits
(05:17):
Tour at the Venetian Um, which I'm excited to talk
to him about. Also, he is UM. He's he's partnered
with m P and because they're sponsoring UM basically to
help people make a difference for people with disabilities. They're
actually even donating hundred thousand dollars to the Agatos Foundation
to help drive even more equality in sports and beyond
for people's disabilities. So I love that. Excited talked to
(05:39):
him about it UM and then talk a little Dancing
with the Stars. So, uh, let's stay a break and
we'll get him on. Hello, Derek, how are you ladies?
(06:00):
Doing you guys? Good? Um? Good? How are you? I'm
very good. I feel like it's been it's been it's
been a minute since I've seen you. I mean I
came back to Stars of one of the times. But
I mean you're just like you're up there judge and
doing your doing your thing, you know which, by the way,
(06:21):
I would have been so nervous if you were the judge.
I don't know what, yeah, because I mean, i mean,
obviously Lenn is terrifying, and you know your sister she was,
she was she was sweet. She was hard on me,
but she was sweet. And then carry in like just
you know, Ball and then Bruno like so fun. So
but like with you, I would have been I actually
(06:42):
am kind of happy that you were. You weren't a judge,
you were just one of the dancing pros because like,
I don't know, I feel like, I mean, you're really nice,
but also you're an amazing dancer. So it's just it's
I would have been very intimidated. Let's say, well, I'm
sure I'm sure it would have been great. You were fantastic,
so I'm sure I would have nothing about great things
(07:04):
to say, So I mean, you're so sweet. Do you
do you like being on that side of the things,
at the table rather than on the dance floor. Yeah,
I like it. It's it's definitely a lot easier, that's
for sure. Um. It's always crashing up and people say
what's harder, judging or dancing? Like what I was like, Um, dancing,
of course is harder. But no, I really enjoyed I think,
(07:25):
you know, being on the show for seventeen seasons. Um,
you know, I feel like I really I did that,
you know what I mean. I was. There's all different
experiences and triumphs and failures and all the things I
could have possibly thought of. Um, And so being on
this side of it, Uh, my desire is I really
really genuinely want to like help and give some sort
(07:47):
of critique that is helpful. However, I will say, it's
a lot harder. You know, when I was judging on
a World of Dance, um, which by the way, I
loved that show so good. Oh me too, Oh my gosh,
me too. And it was so it was tape so
we could like ramble on and we could just go
off and just go on and on and on and on. Um.
(08:08):
And if you forgot to say something. Hold on, let
me say something. Were fast, Whereas on Tanta the Stars
is live and it's like you know, once you once
the time is up, like that's it, Like you have
nothing to say. So there's times like Bruno will like
go on one of his rants and and there's no
time left. So it's like Derek of like, it was
a good job, it was great. I don't know, thanks
(08:30):
a lot um but uh but but obviously being a
coach and have been a teacher, you know, I really
want to like give an actual note that I really
believe will like help elevate them the next week, not
just generalize it and be like, yeah, it was good.
You need to be better, you know. It's like, hey,
work on this specific specific thing, focused on this this week,
(08:50):
and I really feel like it will elevate um, you know,
your routine the next week. And so yeah, I try,
I try as I can in the short amount of
time I have. Especially this season is Lenn Goodman's back,
and so that was before of us up there sould
be interesting. Is there one celebrity that you were kind
of like is not disappointed him, but in a in
a roundabout way, like I wish you could have like
(09:11):
they would have been so good if they just let go,
or I mean, I'm sure that's probably a lot of them,
but is there one that you're like, they had such
potential but kind of got in their own way? Um?
You know, honestly, I feel like, I don't know. Actually
it's tough. I definitely looked back at my my approach
(09:34):
to the show, like in my earlier seasons, I was,
you know, nervous, you know, and I was uncertain. I
was kind of like kind of faking it to be
honest with you. You know. I wasn't really like a
teacher or things like that, or choreographer, you know when
people used to say like, oh yeah, a good chroographer,
Like I never even looked at myself in that way. Um,
(09:55):
And that made me fearful and afraid, so that I
definitely would get uh more frustrated, easier in my earlier
seasons and stuff. So for me, it's not so much
I look back at one of my partners like I
wish they would have just let go. I look back
an some my earlier seasons thinking like, man, I wish
I knew then what I know now and what I
(10:16):
what I how I shifted my sort of approach and
teaching and coaching, um, and I probably could have got
more out of them with a better teaching approach, which
I eventually you know, learned and created and um. So yeah,
so it's not so much on them more of myself.
I wish I was better early on and I could
have given them a better chance and a better experience.
(10:38):
For sure. I also feel like to um, that's that's
such a good thing in general with life because it's
like I can look back and be like, oh, I
wish I would have you know, had more fun, or
I wish I would have you know, done this differently,
And it's it's not regrets. It's just something that okay,
now like you can when you met with a different um,
you know, doing doing the show now, like you can
(10:58):
have different ways to look at it. Because I mean, shoot,
I would love to go back and redo that season
because of all the things that I like, help back
on or wish that I didn't wasn't so in my
head about or just believed in myself a little bit more.
But I think that's just like a something we do
and just in life too. Sure, Yeah, I think I
(11:19):
think with when Uh, it's different for you as well,
because you know, at least for me, I go have
multiple seasons to make adjustments and I have I'm back
back the next season or the next season, and I'm like, wow, Okay,
I'm gonna try to be better in this situation. I'm
gonna try to appreciate this more. I'm gonna try to, um,
you know, strategized differently. And and so I can see how,
(11:41):
you know, being on the show as a celebrity and
having one season, you might think like I want another
go at that, Like I on one another round, you know,
give me another round, and um, but you were you
were awesome, You're fantastic and like and they still and
they still bring up it's like one of the most
classic moments. They still bring up that rain shower. That's
that's like that's up there in the top in the
(12:03):
top realms of like that happened, and that happened. Yeah,
I mean, yeah, that was that was a very sexy dance.
But yeah, and I'm like, there was just a few
things in that dance. I'm like, I can't believe they
heard that, Like when it says give me a taste
and he literally listening me up in my like his
faces in my vagina. I'm like that he wanted more
(12:26):
than that. It started off even crazier. I know. You
guys come up with some like raunchy choreography, dre Wow,
I'm not gonna lie, that's that's that's more of a
glob thing. I'm not. It's a Russian thing. It's a
Russian the Yeah, I'm just I was. I wasn't too runchy.
I was. I was even like when I did a
rum business stuff like that. For me personally, my you know,
(12:48):
the banks of love, um my approach usually was somebody
danced with like Sean Johnson or something like that. You know,
So for me it was more like it was like
a sweet love not at Grayla. Yeah. Yeah, I think
we definitely went fifty on that one. Okay, speaking of okay, fine,
(13:10):
you're right um with speaking of love though, So you've
been dating how many years? Because you guys started dating
when on my season? Right, like so four five years ago?
Six years now? Yeah a minute, okay, So I just
have to like I have to ask where, like when's
when's the ring coming? Like when when are we getting when?
Like if I was hurt. I'd be like, Derek, what
(13:32):
the like it's sixty years? No, seriously though, I mean like,
you know, girls, and she wants a baby and you
know we don't get any younger. And I'm not trying
to rush you, but six years, it's like, what the
heck are like what are you waiting for? Like after
six years? Like you should know? Right? Sure? Absolutely absolutely,
I think um and I think so for so what
(13:54):
you don't you know and when people don't see obviously,
are you know? Is the relationship you know? Is? Is?
Are the different um what do you want to call it?
Um phases if you will, the phases, different things, seasons
and relationship, all these different things. And so even though
we've been together for six years, like like, we've had
multiple relationships with each other, you know, Esther Parrell, she
(14:17):
says that she hasn't great she's my she's my girl, man,
I mean, she's phenomenal. And one thing that she says,
she goes, you know, there's you might have. Everybody's gonna
have multiple relationships in their lifetime. The question is it
going to be with the same person or is it
going to be other people? And I feel that's how
I feel like our relationship has been We've had our
(14:38):
relationship is vastly We've gone through like four different versions
of our relationship over those years. And it's and I
will say for sure now like it is like you know,
this past couple of years, it's been like this is
this is it? You know? And so um yeah, so
when it comes when it comes to the everything else
(15:00):
that comes around that, but you know it, I can
see he can't he can't say it, but he has
the ring. I know it. He has a thing out
and he can't look at I can tell. I'm sorry,
I can tell, I can tell. I'm a girl. I
totally conduct. It's all right. And by the way, you know,
what's it's funny actually is that people like like, oh
does that just said? And I'm like no, honestly, like
it's it doesn't bother me at all when people ask
(15:23):
or that. And I don't feel pressured at all, like
hearing it a lot. It's it's has she pressured you
at all? No? No, not at all, not at all. Yeah,
it's it's all of and uh. We have our little
family of you know, of dogs and cats, and it's
just it's wonderful and and you know, to be honest
with you as well, you know, I built a house
(15:44):
and we've been enough for about a year and a
half maybe two years now. Um, but before that, you know,
I was like living with my sister like it was
you know why it was it was you know, there
was there was no sort of like um foundation or
you know that that wasn't even on that that wasn't
even in the conversation because there's no way for it
to be. So uh yeah, all good things. But you're
(16:07):
happy and she's doing and what's great too is that
she's gonna be dancing with me on my show in Vegas. Okay,
that's what I was just gonna ask you about if
she was going to be on the road with you.
Have you guys done that before, like been on the
road together when we met. That's how we met was
on tour. We met on tour. Actually our first kiss
was on stage during a dance, during a rumba um
(16:30):
and in front of a whole audience. And actually we
had that footage and it's kind of funny, we actually
recreated that same dance like a couple of months ago.
It's actually on our YouTube channel and it's kind of
put him side by side. And um, so yeah, we
actually met on too. Uh, but this is different. This
is very very different obviously. Um, and yeah, I'm excited
(16:52):
about it. We've been practicing, we've been you know well,
and that's it was so funny too, is you know,
we were staying in a life where you know, you
could go on tour and be away from each other
for months at a time and it was totally normal.
As a performer, You're like, yeah, cool, Like we haven't
seen each other in two months, that's fine, normal, And
now I'm in the time of my life. I'm like,
I don't want to I don't want to be away
(17:12):
from you for longer than you know, a week. I mean,
I just I needed a trip in Washington for the
Candy Honors, and I was gone for a week, and
I was like, no, let's not do that. Let's not
do that anymore, like, let's let's travel with each other.
Was do with each other as much as we can,
and I love that. I feel like after two weeks
is when it starts to get there, starts to be
(17:33):
that just kind of that tension or that the drift,
and I don't I think it's important to to you know,
nurture that relationship and to be like hey, if it's
a week for you guys like that, it's like, hey,
this is it doesn't I don't like this. And it's
good that you said that. Quarantine helped a lot because
it was like, you know, we uh just really just
we just we just you know, fell more in love.
So it was good. Okay, So the residency, You're going
(17:55):
to Vegas, the Venetian Um. What what's different about this show? Um? Well,
I mean the biggest difference for me at least is, uh,
it's in one place because I'm just as touring, so
it's always like wake up, different venue, different stage, um,
which I love. By the way, I can't wait to
(18:15):
tour again. I love touring. But what's exciting about this
one is it's again it's like live band, live music.
We have the most incredible dancers, all start cast dancers.
In fact, one of the dancers I've just hired he
won the last season of Dancing with the Sorry of
World of Dance with two other girls called MDC three
(18:36):
and he is mind blowing. So um, it's it's an
incredible cast. Honestly, I feel like it's I don't want
to say the best dance show in Vegas. I think
I'm mean I'm gonna I'm gonna go out there and
say that, man, because I I really believe in the
just the performance and these dancers and what we will.
We have, the content we have, the costumes are amazing
(18:59):
and beautiful fool and uh, it's gonna be good. I'm excited.
I mean, you're the most awarded choreographer. I mean you have.
I mean, it's it's insane. So if if I was
to put a lineup, like, yeah, I would, I would
definitely be like, Yep, that's the show I'm going to
go see. I mean, the chippen Dales is kind of exciting.
But at the same time, like, I'm sure you're going
to take your shirt off with the ladies too, So
(19:20):
like there might be a few flashes, a few things
here and there, is there is there one? Um like
how long have you been even like prepping this? Well,
originally I was supposed to be in Vegas last year,
but obviously promis reasons. Um, so it's been on my
mind for over a year. Uh. But it's funny because
(19:42):
you know you think, like, oh, we got all this
time in the world and um, and then all of
a sudden you're like, Oh, we're going to rehearse on
the stage in three days, which is true. I'm gonna
be on stage on Monday, on the stage rehearsing for it. Um. Yeah, yeah,
So I'm it's it's been there for a while, but
I'm excited about it. It's it's gonna be good. But
(20:05):
I will say there's there's also that excitement of like
it's like and I am, I is my body ready
for this rehearsing And I'm like, I'm like, you know,
like not oiling it up like externally internally, you know,
all my joints of the things, like there will be
some oil maybe maybe. I'm sure the girls will appreciate
that slipping off, slipping off my body while we're trying
(20:26):
to dance. Um. But yeah, it's gonna be good. Man.
I'm excited. I'm so excited for you. I think that's. Um,
I'm gonna I'm gonna check out the dates and I'm
going to come to a show because we're actually going
to be in Vegas in September, but I think you
don't start until it's October. Is that when it starts
September two, September two until November one, and I'll be
(20:49):
you know, flying back and forth doing yance with stars
and the show and they'll be fun. Man, it's gonna
be good. You're taking over the world. What is your
best now that I'm back out in the dating world,
what is your best of dating advice for me? My
best advice? Oh goodness, Oh boy, you know me, and
you know we've spent time together, and I see, well,
(21:14):
you know how I want to say this. You don't
have to, you don't I actually, I actually was gonna
say this because I think it's different for you. I
think I guess I don't know necessarily like the history
and whatnot. But I always say, um, you know, my
(21:34):
friend was like a he's like a serial data. Right.
It was like going to compare here there and nothing
really stuck, and I just almost I said, hey, man,
just kind of be like to come be on your
own for a minute, you know, um, get just get
the appetite, you know, for the for the main course,
if you will, um. Because he was kind of having
these little appetizing relationships, you know, where it was like okay,
(21:57):
but and so you were kind of you know, when
you eat kind of like you know, you kind of
have you're almost like not ready for the main course
because you've already like over appetized essentially too many chips.
Let's go, let's go. Oh, I'm salivating right now by
(22:19):
the bad so bad. So that that was just something
I said to him actually, um a while ago, and
uh yeah, and it seemed to it seemed to be
a helpful advice. And my problem is is I I
skipped the appetizer, of course, and I go straight to
the main dish because I want the main dish. But yeah, no,
but that's good. I need to eat more of the
spinach deaf and then and then cut into my steak.
(22:46):
Now I'm really freaking hungry. You've been shooting a movie
with Marie Minos, right, I am obsessed with her. Yeah,
we bet she is like incredible. Um yeah, we just
we wrapped it about a month ago, and she played
my best friend in the movie. And I just saw
an edit of the film and it's she does so
like she's so good in it. So I love her.
(23:08):
She's she's just been uh such a just blessing, you know,
in my life and in so many people's lives and
she's she's a forest man. She's got incredible energy. So
I saw you guys. I saw you guys together and
I was like, hey, hey, I know I love it.
That made me happy to see you have what's what's
the equal to podcast? Equals to podcast? So it's a
it's a six part series UM that you can find
(23:29):
on any different you know podcast UH platforms UM that
focuses on UM. You know, paralympians and Paralympics and you know,
people with equal rights for you know, people with disabilities
and UM. The reason why I got so interested in
that UM is because, uh, I danced with Amy Pretty.
You know Amy Pretty, who was a paralympian. She had
(23:50):
too prosthetic legs and we you know, I was actually
teaching her in Sochi, Russia, while she was competing in
the Olympics. I was teaching her and chat out of
the morning and then she would go compete. I was
it was, I was like, are you sure we don't
need to do this right now? You have to focus
on what you're doing, and she was like, no, I
don't know. So for me, I always found it so UM.
It was so inspiring. Obviously and I just she's such
(24:13):
an incredible woman, and she really embodied that expression, UM,
what if? What if life isn't happening to you, it's
happening for you? You know, we're always like why did
this happen to me? Why always met instead of like, well,
why did this happen for me? How can I turn
this into a gift? How can I turn this into
something that is going to you know, serve others as well?
(24:33):
And she really really embodies that. So this podcast is
all about, you know, celebrating telling stories and also talking
about you know, conversations that um are just kind of
normalizing and also educating people in that in that world
with people with disabilities. So that you're doing that, that's awesome, Derek.
(24:54):
You're incredible and I appreciate you, and I can't wait
to see your show in Vegas and hopefully i'll see you.
I'll pop by maybe for a taping. If they are
they going to have uh audience members, I don't. I
don't know yet. They haven't told us. And then I'm like,
I'm keeping I want to know too, you know, I
feel like there's like you have to like that was
(25:14):
the part that made me the most nervous, but it
also gave me the most energy too. Like I know
people at home we're watching, but it's just something about
having people watching there. I don't know, whole different elements.
Last season, we didn't have an audience, and I was
concerned that the energy wouldn't be there. But between the crew, camera,
other competitors, everybody kind of like compensated for that. They
(25:37):
were like extra loud, and it just it felt pretty good.
It felt like the energy was there. But listen, I
that's why I'm going to Vegas. That's why I love
going towards There's nothing like that, uh, performer audience relationship.
It's just that, like it's an amazing experience to share
with one another. So I love it all right, Derek,
(25:59):
go up, go go dance away. Thank you so much.
You know, it's interesting something that he said in there
(26:19):
was life isn't you know? It's not happening to you,
it's for you. And I was reading I've been reading
this book called The Surrender Experiment, and it's so great.
He was basically saying, like how he just surrendered his
life to the moment and he wanted It's silly um scenario,
but you know, it's it's about like having gratitude and
(26:41):
being positive. But he's like, it's raining. You know, it's raining,
and most of it like I can go through it's
raining or whatever, and it's like, okay, it's raining, Like
this is so beautiful, it's going to help my grass,
or like what can I do inside today that I
would normally not be able to do, or like I'm
gonna watch a movie or so it's just like finding
the positive for in this. Okay, why is this happening
not to me but for me? I love that it's
(27:03):
so good, And I think that's sometimes easy in the
smaller things, but hard and the bigger things, I mean
so hard. That's why last weekend when I was like
bawling my eyes out, because it's like, you know, you
have those moments where you're just like, I get that
it's not happening to me, it's for me. But at
the same time, it's not easy. In the silence that
can't be I mean, that's not easy. So you just
(27:25):
have to take it one day at a time. But
you know what I told you in the car today
because we were having a conversation and I was talking
to her about you know, um, a few conversations about Mike,
and you said, which part, like, your guys are really good? Oh? Yes, yes,
I've been impressed y'all. Are it seemed to be really
good getting along? We call parenting. Well, yeah, we're we're
(27:47):
co parenting, you know. Well, and um, you know we
have conversations every once in a while. And she's like,
you said you were proud of me. Oh, yes, I'm
so proud of you. I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't know.
We had a lot of conversations in the car. Yes,
I'm so proud of you. You've done a really, really,
really great job. I think you have. Oh I know
(28:09):
what we are to now, I remember. Anyways, Yes, I'm
very proud of you. You have done a good job,
and you've put things aside, and I think you've just
decided to you know, it's more important to get along
and be happy. And well, you know what I said,
as I said, um, what would the Kardashians do? Oh
(28:33):
my god, I love that because it's so true, because
it's like, you know, you look at Tristan and Chloe
and again this is the most probably stupidest example ever,
but they just seem so forgiving. Yes, it's like once
they're part of your family, always a part of their family. Yeah,
like Chloe. Yeah, like Scott Jeez, who are like somehow
(28:54):
still I just love Scott to sick. I don't know
why I like. I don't know. I don't like the
lot late, like the latest thing that he did, but
it doesn't matter. I still like them. But um, when
it comes to you know, I just saw, like Chloe
interest in taking their little one to you know, gymnastics
or dance or whatever. And it's like to be able
to look outside and say, Okay, did Mike hurt me? Yes?
(29:17):
Did do I like what happened? No? Um do? I
still get upset and I'm sad, absolutely like I have
major cry facets in my house when it's silent, and
but I'm also trying to flip the switch. Okay, how
is this not happening for me? It's not happening to me,
even though it feels like it is. Um and I
(29:37):
still don't feel like I've gotten that one apology that
I feel like I deserve. But at some point it's
just like you just have to let it go and
be like Okay, this energy like holding onto all this
stuff is and I'm not going to get the milk
at home deep, or I'm not gonna get what I
want home deep, Like I keep going to home deep
(29:57):
I and getting it. Like my therapist said, so it's
just so he come up comes to a point where
you're just like okay, like it's you have to just
not move on, but just be like this is this
is just who he is, and I there's no point
in having this resentment, even though yes there are times
when I'm so upset and angry at the situation and
(30:17):
what happened, But at the end of the day, nothing
can change. We're not getting back together, and it's just
hurting you. Yeah, you know, you have to let it
go for you, not for him. You have to be
able to you know, it's not going to change how
he feels. It's not going to change anything other than
how you feel. So you know, now, that doesn't mean
(30:38):
it's not gonna be hard at times. And maybe you're
not ready to go vacation like Scott and Courtney with
the family, but that doesn't mean he can't get there
eventually or figure out what you're normal is. And I
think you know, and hopefully we're on the path because once,
because once I let it go, like okay, that I'm
never going to get the apology that I think I deserve,
(31:00):
and also knowing that I can't change my reality, and
also knowing that it what what. His actions weren't directed
towards me, even though it felt very personal, and I'm
I'm still angry that his actions lead to the divorce,
(31:23):
But at the end of the day, we are here
and this is what it is. And now I'd rather
be friends with him than hate him. It's easier to
be friends with him than hate him, because hating him
just feels bad and it's just bad for you. Again,
it just comes back to it's just gonna eat you up,
and what is it? What's it going to get you?
And I'm going to do what would Chloe do? Chloe
(31:45):
would go to So I'm like, you want to come
to soccer with us? Come on, Like, let's just what's
best for the kids. What's best for the kids is
that we get along. Maybe one day we have family stuff,
Like he invited me to go to the movies with them,
and I told you it was a little too soon.
I left and I started crying and I was like Okay,
that felt too family, Like, well, I think you have
to protect yourself a little bit and take it a
little bit at a time. Yeah, and it doesn't mean
(32:08):
that you have to do what the Kardashians do. It
might not be that comfortable. I mean it's hopefully down
the line, like I would love, you know, to be
really close with whoever he marries or whatever, and like
I would like that, I genuinely would. Sure. Yeah, well
that just takes time. I mean it's still yeah, but
maybe I just yeah, I need to I need to
(32:28):
not rush into Let's just start with being nice to
each other. I have. I have been nice and I'm
just glad, which is great caught up to that. Yeah,
I'll just be kind and take him day by day.
But I thought it was kind of funny. I was like,
what would Chloe and Kim do because they just and Courtney,
Oh that's true. Well, oh that's right that Courtney. But
(32:50):
it's I think there's just something about forgiveness, and um, forgiving.
Forgiveness isn't for the other person, It's for you exactly,
not to like hold onto it anymore. What else, Catherine,
Oh my god, what I'm officially Cramer oh, yes, I
(33:11):
got an email from my business manager and he goes, hey,
your social Security number came in your officially Cramer again,
and I'm not gonna lie. I cried no because okay,
I'm not gonna get heared. Um, I cried because my
kid's names, I'm not like, I'm like, those are my kids.
(33:33):
Like then it just felt so like separated, and I
fee like like that really sucked. Well, here's one way
to help me. Look at it from a different name.
Wanted to keep Cramer, not because of not wanting to
take his last name, but just because obvious. You know,
you're known as Janna Kramer all that, so you had
thought about keeping that name. Anyway, it's easier to say
to the Remember times i'd say cossin ce A U
(33:55):
S s as in Sam I am, They're like Coffin.
I'm like, oh my god. I literally just spent two
seconds spelling it up for you and then said Sam, Sam.
I can't say Sam, I said Sam. But if you
would have kept it, then you would have had a
different last name as your kids, but it wouldn't have
felt that would have just been normal. But then since
then taking cosson, it's like okay, we were like this
(34:18):
family even though you know, I still went by Cramer
and some things just because again it was easier. But
I just think having like now having you know, the
new I D and it's saying what my license still
says Costin but now that I'm officially Cramer, I don't know.
It just it broke my heart, just for the kid aspect,
Like they're my kids, they should have my last name.
(34:41):
I burst them. I know that's such like a big debate. Yeah, no,
I get it, but like I get the whole man like,
but at the same time, no, like I those are
that they came out of my my belly. How does
he get and I have them seventy percent the time
get the last name, because I mean, this is more
just like a funny debate. But I have them seventy
(35:02):
percent in time. They came out of my vagina. Why
did we adopt the whole that they're named after the
dad's It just seems because they sperminate. I don't know,
like they come out of our bellies and we had
to hold them in be sick. So I'm with you
on that, Like it's not fair they should take the
woman's name. We can change them to Cramer. I guess look,
(35:24):
I'm gonna be like, hey, Joela Creamer, you should change
it when you're dude. That's gonna go. Um, but yeah,
I don't know that, just like really that really that
hit me kind of hard. But then also I'm like,
but then after I cried, I was like, I'm Cramer, Yeah,
like I've always been Cramer. And then I cried again,
(35:45):
and then was this all today? No, it was yesterday
when Kevin, and then um, and then after that was
my I basically like, I never change my last name
ever again. No, please don't. I will never pain in
the butt. Yeah, I'm never going to do it again
(36:06):
because at this point it's like I'm already not my
kid's names, right right right, Sorry, future husband for many reasons. Sorry,
I'm just gonna go ahead and apologize now. I you know,
at times, no, Janna, I happen to talk bad about myself, don't.
I'm a second person? Is that second person? I am
(36:27):
a great wife? Yeah, you were a great wife. I
am a great wife. I wasn't. I was a great
wife to my ex. No, I wasn't perfect. I was
a little passive at times. I had a hard time
dealing with trust in the cheating in the affairs. But
you know what, fair, fair, fair, I would have you know.
But I think I'm a good wife. And to the
(36:48):
next person, I'm not saying sorry, I'm saying you're welcome. Yes,
you're welcome, Okay, because I am a catch. Okay, she's
malliam Janna. This is amazing through it part. I mean seriously,
(37:11):
I'm going to have a dance party and be like,
you know what, mother efforts. I am a catch, and
I am fun and I'm a good wife. And I
will rub your back and I will not make you
dinner because I don't know how, but I will try.
But I will get the beau a few dishes you
can do. I have a few. I'm a great side person.
I mean like sides like I would do great size,
I mean great salads. Um And I'm funny and I
(37:34):
like to travel. I feel like I'm filling out my
dating profile right now. I'm funny. I like to travel.
I'm very spontaneous. I like long walks on the beach.
I love a sunset. Um my faults where I can
look in the mirror and say, okay, I can be
a little passive. But I'm learning how to do that.
I'm learning how to not have you read my mind. Um,
(37:55):
it's impassive. We're passive aggressive. What's the difference? I me
not passive aggressive, so I'm not saying yeah, okay, kettle
black Wow did you say glass glass rock, like glass
house or whatever. I went to the door. Oh the door,
Oh that was that's since been shattered, by the way,
(38:17):
I'm still picking up pieces of the pantry door fault. Yeah, Beth,
she grabbed the bat like. I saw people's comments like, oh,
go gather, and I was like, oh, should I take
credit for this or should I think it was not me? Um? Anyway,
moving on to the fact that I'm a Cramer and
my kids are not here. We go. We're going to Vegas,
(38:39):
which I'm super excited about for the Heart Festival. I
cannot wait to just get dressed up and have fun.
And um then a gamble wan a gamble a little bit.
Let's get fun, let's get let's just get like real
fun Valium jam in Vegas. By the way, again, I
do not promote valum um. This is this is just
a this is was a side effect of and I
(39:00):
was on my boot job that I took some By
the way, I'm very happy about Stiff. You definitely seem like, okay, well,
you know what, that was a great episode and I
can't wait to talk to you gus next week. Bye bye,
Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I heard radio podcast.
Are we ready for an awesome show? Oh yeah? I
just love the Oh yeah. It's like like not excited
at all. You're like, I'm so excited, and I'm so excited.
This is my excited voice. Um, well, we're gonna need
you to to get a little bit more excited. Okay, all right,
(00:24):
this is you know, it's it's an animation, right, Like
you gotta like, we gotta be excited about this because
I you know, and I need that. I need a
little I like I need a I'm so excited. That's
so much better. Okay. How do you deal with confrontation?
How do I deal with confrontation? It depends. Um, I
like to I don't mind. I don't shy away from confrontation.
(00:46):
You're actually really good with confrontation. I try to be.
I try to sit back and wait a minute, because
my initial reaction kind of like what Chelsea said last week,
is to kind of go. But I try to wait
a minute and breathe. But I don't shy away from it.
I was listening to another podcast earlier, and um, they
were talking about confrontation. And I know I've said before
(01:06):
like I would rather move to a different country than
I have conversation. But I was thinking about it, and
I was like, that was very like twenties Joanna, where
I feel like thirties, late thirties Joanna is UM like
I like and I don't like it. I'm not saying
like i'd like confrontation, but I because I you know,
I had to do something the other day where I
wanted to puke um with a semi confrontation, and I
(01:32):
normally would have just been like, no, like it's fine,
But I feel like when you get older, that stuff
is just like what it has to happen. Yeah, I
think you've gotten better at it, for sure. I think
you just have to. I think it depends on the
situation obviously, but how you're going to handle it. Like,
I think as you get older, you realize to handle
it more as an adult and think through what you're
(01:54):
gonna say and not just spout off and just and
I think you've done a good job with that. I
was just thinking about that because I'm like, I used
to hate confrontation, and now it's I'm too old to
have to play the games anymore, you know. Um. Speaking
of confrontation, not not confrontation, but I was I don't know.
(02:17):
We had like a girl's night a few days ago
and Pamelan was like she basically said that I am
Valume Janna, Vale value you, and Valium is so funny.
Like she was like, post divorce Janna is Valume Janna.
(02:41):
And just a little backstory. When I got my boobs done,
the only thing that gave me a little, like a
little comfort because my chest was so tight and so
the valume just like made me relax a little bit,
and then the muscles, but it made me loopy as fuck.
(03:02):
I mean, I was so loopy, but I was just
like we went over to our house for Easter and
I was like three days post boob job, and I'm
just strutting over there with like my PJ tap and
you know, a skirt, and they were like something like
Jolie was playing. I was like, Okay, it's fine, here's
(03:26):
the deal. It's not a bad thing. But generally you
are kind of the get in, kind of one of
the first to leave. Not a bad way, not in
a bad way, but like the kids have something to do,
it's dinner time, it's bedtime, it's it's something maybe I
just don't want to be there or that it doesn't
say it's something you just don't know. But there that day,
(03:47):
I was like, you got up for a second and
I was like, oh, are you leaving? And You're like, no,
I'm good. That's like what I'm like, No, I'm great.
I was gonna go check out the cheese spread. But
apparently is that me post divorce now? Yeah. So I
was thinking about this the other day when we were
in where were we were in Virginia And by the way,
(04:08):
I haven't taken a volume since day nine of Boop Jobs.
So like it's just mean, it's not that you're just
on yeah, um when we're in Virginia beach, like you're
just so much lighter, so much lighter. I don't know
what it is, Like yeah different, I mean you're still Janna,
but like, yeah, it's kind of like your like them
all the time. You mean, like when I broke out
(04:29):
in a dance party, yes, it was great, but just
in general, like we had a little bit of a
stressful situation, not knowing if we were gonna be able
to get home or not because of Ida, and we
were coming up with all the options and even I
felt like the devil was broad a lady. I was like,
get me home. I was like, it's just a little
it's a little sprinkle, and it's like but amongst that,
(04:54):
you were still so light. Yeah. I was like, well,
I was like, Sudya want me to do this? And
You're like anyway, you were just you were much lighter. Wow,
Valium Janice fun I mean, I have a natural value
in me. Now, hey, I'm really excited because we have
Derrek Kuff coming on the show. He has a new
show that he's debuting in Vegas called The No Limits
(05:17):
Tour at the Venetian Um, which I'm excited to talk
to him about. Also, he is UM. He's he's partnered
with m P and because they're sponsoring UM basically to
help people make a difference for people with disabilities. They're
actually even donating hundred thousand dollars to the Agatos Foundation
to help drive even more equality in sports and beyond
for people's disabilities. So I love that. Excited talked to
(05:39):
him about it UM and then talk a little Dancing
with the Stars. So, uh, let's stay a break and
we'll get him on. Hello, Derek, how are you ladies?
(06:00):
Doing you guys? Good? Um? Good? How are you? I'm
very good. I feel like it's been it's been it's
been a minute since I've seen you. I mean I
came back to Stars of one of the times. But
I mean you're just like you're up there judge and
doing your doing your thing, you know which, by the way,
(06:21):
I would have been so nervous if you were the judge.
I don't know what, yeah, because I mean, i mean,
obviously Lenn is terrifying, and you know your sister she was,
she was she was sweet. She was hard on me,
but she was sweet. And then carry in like just
you know, Ball and then Bruno like so fun. So
but like with you, I would have been I actually
(06:42):
am kind of happy that you were. You weren't a judge,
you were just one of the dancing pros because like,
I don't know, I feel like, I mean, you're really nice,
but also you're an amazing dancer. So it's just it's
I would have been very intimidated. Let's say, well, I'm
sure I'm sure it would have been great. You were fantastic,
so I'm sure I would have nothing about great things
(07:04):
to say, So I mean, you're so sweet. Do you
do you like being on that side of the things,
at the table rather than on the dance floor. Yeah,
I like it. It's it's definitely a lot easier, that's
for sure. Um. It's always crashing up and people say
what's harder, judging or dancing? Like what I was like, Um, dancing,
of course is harder. But no, I really enjoyed I think,
(07:25):
you know, being on the show for seventeen seasons. Um,
you know, I feel like I really I did that,
you know what I mean. I was. There's all different
experiences and triumphs and failures and all the things I
could have possibly thought of. Um, And so being on
this side of it, Uh, my desire is I really
really genuinely want to like help and give some sort
(07:47):
of critique that is helpful. However, I will say, it's
a lot harder. You know, when I was judging on
a World of Dance, um, which by the way, I
loved that show so good. Oh me too, Oh my gosh,
me too. And it was so it was tape so
we could like ramble on and we could just go
off and just go on and on and on and on. Um.
(08:08):
And if you forgot to say something. Hold on, let
me say something. Were fast, Whereas on Tanta the Stars
is live and it's like you know, once you once
the time is up, like that's it, Like you have
nothing to say. So there's times like Bruno will like
go on one of his rants and and there's no
time left. So it's like Derek of like, it was
a good job, it was great. I don't know, thanks
(08:30):
a lot um but uh but but obviously being a
coach and have been a teacher, you know, I really
want to like give an actual note that I really
believe will like help elevate them the next week, not
just generalize it and be like, yeah, it was good.
You need to be better, you know. It's like, hey,
work on this specific specific thing, focused on this this week,
(08:50):
and I really feel like it will elevate um, you know,
your routine the next week. And so yeah, I try,
I try as I can in the short amount of
time I have. Especially this season is Lenn Goodman's back,
and so that was before of us up there sould
be interesting. Is there one celebrity that you were kind
of like is not disappointed him, but in a in
a roundabout way, like I wish you could have like
(09:11):
they would have been so good if they just let go,
or I mean, I'm sure that's probably a lot of them,
but is there one that you're like, they had such
potential but kind of got in their own way? Um?
You know, honestly, I feel like, I don't know. Actually
it's tough. I definitely looked back at my my approach
(09:34):
to the show, like in my earlier seasons, I was,
you know, nervous, you know, and I was uncertain. I
was kind of like kind of faking it to be
honest with you. You know. I wasn't really like a
teacher or things like that, or choreographer, you know when
people used to say like, oh yeah, a good chroographer,
Like I never even looked at myself in that way. Um,
(09:55):
And that made me fearful and afraid, so that I
definitely would get uh more frustrated, easier in my earlier
seasons and stuff. So for me, it's not so much
I look back at one of my partners like I
wish they would have just let go. I look back
an some my earlier seasons thinking like, man, I wish
I knew then what I know now and what I
(10:16):
what I how I shifted my sort of approach and
teaching and coaching, um, and I probably could have got
more out of them with a better teaching approach, which
I eventually you know, learned and created and um. So yeah,
so it's not so much on them more of myself.
I wish I was better early on and I could
have given them a better chance and a better experience.
(10:38):
For sure. I also feel like to um, that's that's
such a good thing in general with life because it's
like I can look back and be like, oh, I
wish I would have you know, had more fun, or
I wish I would have you know, done this differently,
And it's it's not regrets. It's just something that okay,
now like you can when you met with a different um,
you know, doing doing the show now, like you can
(10:58):
have different ways to look at it. Because I mean, shoot,
I would love to go back and redo that season
because of all the things that I like, help back
on or wish that I didn't wasn't so in my
head about or just believed in myself a little bit more.
But I think that's just like a something we do
and just in life too. Sure, Yeah, I think I
(11:19):
think with when Uh, it's different for you as well,
because you know, at least for me, I go have
multiple seasons to make adjustments and I have I'm back
back the next season or the next season, and I'm like, wow, Okay,
I'm gonna try to be better in this situation. I'm
gonna try to appreciate this more. I'm gonna try to, um,
you know, strategized differently. And and so I can see how,
(11:41):
you know, being on the show as a celebrity and
having one season, you might think like I want another
go at that, Like I on one another round, you know,
give me another round, and um, but you were you
were awesome, You're fantastic and like and they still and
they still bring up it's like one of the most
classic moments. They still bring up that rain shower. That's
that's like that's up there in the top in the
(12:03):
top realms of like that happened, and that happened. Yeah,
I mean, yeah, that was that was a very sexy dance.
But yeah, and I'm like, there was just a few
things in that dance. I'm like, I can't believe they
heard that, Like when it says give me a taste
and he literally listening me up in my like his
faces in my vagina. I'm like that he wanted more
(12:26):
than that. It started off even crazier. I know. You
guys come up with some like raunchy choreography, dre Wow,
I'm not gonna lie, that's that's that's more of a
glob thing. I'm not. It's a Russian thing. It's a
Russian the Yeah, I'm just I was. I wasn't too runchy.
I was. I was even like when I did a
rum business stuff like that. For me personally, my you know,
(12:48):
the banks of love, um my approach usually was somebody
danced with like Sean Johnson or something like that. You know,
So for me it was more like it was like
a sweet love not at Grayla. Yeah. Yeah, I think
we definitely went fifty on that one. Okay, speaking of okay, fine,
(13:10):
you're right um with speaking of love though, So you've
been dating how many years? Because you guys started dating
when on my season? Right, like so four five years ago?
Six years now? Yeah a minute, okay, So I just
have to like I have to ask where, like when's
when's the ring coming? Like when when are we getting when?
Like if I was hurt. I'd be like, Derek, what
(13:32):
the like it's sixty years? No, seriously though, I mean like,
you know, girls, and she wants a baby and you
know we don't get any younger. And I'm not trying
to rush you, but six years, it's like, what the
heck are like what are you waiting for? Like after
six years? Like you should know? Right? Sure? Absolutely absolutely,
I think um and I think so for so what
(13:54):
you don't you know and when people don't see obviously,
are you know? Is the relationship you know? Is? Is?
Are the different um what do you want to call it?
Um phases if you will, the phases, different things, seasons
and relationship, all these different things. And so even though
we've been together for six years, like like, we've had
multiple relationships with each other, you know, Esther Parrell, she
(14:17):
says that she hasn't great she's my she's my girl, man,
I mean, she's phenomenal. And one thing that she says,
she goes, you know, there's you might have. Everybody's gonna
have multiple relationships in their lifetime. The question is it
going to be with the same person or is it
going to be other people? And I feel that's how
I feel like our relationship has been We've had our
(14:38):
relationship is vastly We've gone through like four different versions
of our relationship over those years. And it's and I
will say for sure now like it is like you know,
this past couple of years, it's been like this is
this is it? You know? And so um yeah, so
when it comes when it comes to the everything else
(15:00):
that comes around that, but you know it, I can
see he can't he can't say it, but he has
the ring. I know it. He has a thing out
and he can't look at I can tell. I'm sorry,
I can tell, I can tell. I'm a girl. I
totally conduct. It's all right. And by the way, you know,
what's it's funny actually is that people like like, oh
does that just said? And I'm like no, honestly, like
it's it doesn't bother me at all when people ask
(15:23):
or that. And I don't feel pressured at all, like
hearing it a lot. It's it's has she pressured you
at all? No? No, not at all, not at all. Yeah,
it's it's all of and uh. We have our little
family of you know, of dogs and cats, and it's
just it's wonderful and and you know, to be honest
with you as well, you know, I built a house
(15:44):
and we've been enough for about a year and a
half maybe two years now. Um, but before that, you know,
I was like living with my sister like it was
you know why it was it was you know, there
was there was no sort of like um foundation or
you know that that wasn't even on that that wasn't
even in the conversation because there's no way for it
to be. So uh yeah, all good things. But you're
(16:07):
happy and she's doing and what's great too is that
she's gonna be dancing with me on my show in Vegas. Okay,
that's what I was just gonna ask you about if
she was going to be on the road with you.
Have you guys done that before, like been on the
road together when we met. That's how we met was
on tour. We met on tour. Actually our first kiss
was on stage during a dance, during a rumba um
(16:30):
and in front of a whole audience. And actually we
had that footage and it's kind of funny, we actually
recreated that same dance like a couple of months ago.
It's actually on our YouTube channel and it's kind of
put him side by side. And um, so yeah, we
actually met on too. Uh, but this is different. This
is very very different obviously. Um, and yeah, I'm excited
(16:52):
about it. We've been practicing, we've been you know well,
and that's it was so funny too, is you know,
we were staying in a life where you know, you
could go on tour and be away from each other
for months at a time and it was totally normal.
As a performer, You're like, yeah, cool, Like we haven't
seen each other in two months, that's fine, normal, And
now I'm in the time of my life. I'm like,
I don't want to I don't want to be away
(17:12):
from you for longer than you know, a week. I mean,
I just I needed a trip in Washington for the
Candy Honors, and I was gone for a week, and
I was like, no, let's not do that. Let's not
do that anymore, like, let's let's travel with each other.
Was do with each other as much as we can,
and I love that. I feel like after two weeks
is when it starts to get there, starts to be
(17:33):
that just kind of that tension or that the drift,
and I don't I think it's important to to you know,
nurture that relationship and to be like hey, if it's
a week for you guys like that, it's like, hey,
this is it doesn't I don't like this. And it's
good that you said that. Quarantine helped a lot because
it was like, you know, we uh just really just
we just we just you know, fell more in love.
So it was good. Okay, So the residency, You're going
(17:55):
to Vegas, the Venetian Um. What what's different about this show? Um? Well,
I mean the biggest difference for me at least is, uh,
it's in one place because I'm just as touring, so
it's always like wake up, different venue, different stage, um,
which I love. By the way, I can't wait to
(18:15):
tour again. I love touring. But what's exciting about this
one is it's again it's like live band, live music.
We have the most incredible dancers, all start cast dancers.
In fact, one of the dancers I've just hired he
won the last season of Dancing with the Sorry of
World of Dance with two other girls called MDC three
(18:36):
and he is mind blowing. So um, it's it's an
incredible cast. Honestly, I feel like it's I don't want
to say the best dance show in Vegas. I think
I'm mean I'm gonna I'm gonna go out there and
say that, man, because I I really believe in the
just the performance and these dancers and what we will.
We have, the content we have, the costumes are amazing
(18:59):
and beautiful fool and uh, it's gonna be good. I'm excited.
I mean, you're the most awarded choreographer. I mean you have.
I mean, it's it's insane. So if if I was
to put a lineup, like, yeah, I would, I would
definitely be like, Yep, that's the show I'm going to
go see. I mean, the chippen Dales is kind of exciting.
But at the same time, like, I'm sure you're going
to take your shirt off with the ladies too, So
(19:20):
like there might be a few flashes, a few things
here and there, is there is there one? Um like
how long have you been even like prepping this? Well,
originally I was supposed to be in Vegas last year,
but obviously promis reasons. Um, so it's been on my
mind for over a year. Uh. But it's funny because
(19:42):
you know you think, like, oh, we got all this
time in the world and um, and then all of
a sudden you're like, Oh, we're going to rehearse on
the stage in three days, which is true. I'm gonna
be on stage on Monday, on the stage rehearsing for it. Um. Yeah, yeah,
So I'm it's it's been there for a while, but
I'm excited about it. It's it's gonna be good. But
(20:05):
I will say there's there's also that excitement of like
it's like and I am, I is my body ready
for this rehearsing And I'm like, I'm like, you know,
like not oiling it up like externally internally, you know,
all my joints of the things, like there will be
some oil maybe maybe. I'm sure the girls will appreciate
that slipping off, slipping off my body while we're trying
(20:26):
to dance. Um. But yeah, it's gonna be good. Man.
I'm excited. I'm so excited for you. I think that's. Um,
I'm gonna I'm gonna check out the dates and I'm
going to come to a show because we're actually going
to be in Vegas in September, but I think you
don't start until it's October. Is that when it starts
September two, September two until November one, and I'll be
(20:49):
you know, flying back and forth doing yance with stars
and the show and they'll be fun. Man, it's gonna
be good. You're taking over the world. What is your
best now that I'm back out in the dating world,
what is your best of dating advice for me? My
best advice? Oh goodness, Oh boy, you know me, and
you know we've spent time together, and I see, well,
(21:14):
you know how I want to say this. You don't
have to, you don't I actually, I actually was gonna
say this because I think it's different for you. I
think I guess I don't know necessarily like the history
and whatnot. But I always say, um, you know, my
(21:34):
friend was like a he's like a serial data. Right.
It was like going to compare here there and nothing
really stuck, and I just almost I said, hey, man,
just kind of be like to come be on your
own for a minute, you know, um, get just get
the appetite, you know, for the for the main course,
if you will, um. Because he was kind of having
these little appetizing relationships, you know, where it was like okay,
(21:57):
but and so you were kind of you know, when
you eat kind of like you know, you kind of
have you're almost like not ready for the main course
because you've already like over appetized essentially too many chips.
Let's go, let's go. Oh, I'm salivating right now by
(22:19):
the bad so bad. So that that was just something
I said to him actually, um a while ago, and
uh yeah, and it seemed to it seemed to be
a helpful advice. And my problem is is I I
skipped the appetizer, of course, and I go straight to
the main dish because I want the main dish. But yeah, no,
but that's good. I need to eat more of the
spinach deaf and then and then cut into my steak.
(22:46):
Now I'm really freaking hungry. You've been shooting a movie
with Marie Minos, right, I am obsessed with her. Yeah,
we bet she is like incredible. Um yeah, we just
we wrapped it about a month ago, and she played
my best friend in the movie. And I just saw
an edit of the film and it's she does so
like she's so good in it. So I love her.
(23:08):
She's she's just been uh such a just blessing, you know,
in my life and in so many people's lives and
she's she's a forest man. She's got incredible energy. So
I saw you guys. I saw you guys together and
I was like, hey, hey, I know I love it.
That made me happy to see you have what's what's
the equal to podcast? Equals to podcast? So it's a
it's a six part series UM that you can find
(23:29):
on any different you know podcast UH platforms UM that
focuses on UM. You know, paralympians and Paralympics and you know,
people with equal rights for you know, people with disabilities
and UM. The reason why I got so interested in
that UM is because, uh, I danced with Amy Pretty.
You know Amy Pretty, who was a paralympian. She had
(23:50):
too prosthetic legs and we you know, I was actually
teaching her in Sochi, Russia, while she was competing in
the Olympics. I was teaching her and chat out of
the morning and then she would go compete. I was
it was, I was like, are you sure we don't
need to do this right now? You have to focus
on what you're doing, and she was like, no, I
don't know. So for me, I always found it so UM.
It was so inspiring. Obviously and I just she's such
(24:13):
an incredible woman, and she really embodied that expression, UM,
what if? What if life isn't happening to you, it's
happening for you? You know, we're always like why did
this happen to me? Why always met instead of like, well,
why did this happen for me? How can I turn
this into a gift? How can I turn this into
something that is going to you know, serve others as well?
(24:33):
And she really really embodies that. So this podcast is
all about, you know, celebrating telling stories and also talking
about you know, conversations that um are just kind of
normalizing and also educating people in that in that world
with people with disabilities. So that you're doing that, that's awesome, Derek.
(24:54):
You're incredible and I appreciate you, and I can't wait
to see your show in Vegas and hopefully i'll see you.
I'll pop by maybe for a taping. If they are
they going to have uh audience members, I don't. I
don't know yet. They haven't told us. And then I'm like,
I'm keeping I want to know too, you know, I
feel like there's like you have to like that was
(25:14):
the part that made me the most nervous, but it
also gave me the most energy too. Like I know
people at home we're watching, but it's just something about
having people watching there. I don't know, whole different elements.
Last season, we didn't have an audience, and I was
concerned that the energy wouldn't be there. But between the crew, camera,
other competitors, everybody kind of like compensated for that. They
(25:37):
were like extra loud, and it just it felt pretty good.
It felt like the energy was there. But listen, I
that's why I'm going to Vegas. That's why I love
going towards There's nothing like that, uh, performer audience relationship.
It's just that, like it's an amazing experience to share
with one another. So I love it all right, Derek,
(25:59):
go up, go go dance away. Thank you so much.
You know, it's interesting something that he said in there
(26:19):
was life isn't you know? It's not happening to you,
it's for you. And I was reading I've been reading
this book called The Surrender Experiment, and it's so great.
He was basically saying, like how he just surrendered his
life to the moment and he wanted It's silly um scenario,
but you know, it's it's about like having gratitude and
(26:41):
being positive. But he's like, it's raining. You know, it's raining,
and most of it like I can go through it's
raining or whatever, and it's like, okay, it's raining, Like
this is so beautiful, it's going to help my grass,
or like what can I do inside today that I
would normally not be able to do, or like I'm
gonna watch a movie or so it's just like finding
the positive for in this. Okay, why is this happening
not to me but for me? I love that it's
(27:03):
so good, And I think that's sometimes easy in the
smaller things, but hard and the bigger things, I mean
so hard. That's why last weekend when I was like
bawling my eyes out, because it's like, you know, you
have those moments where you're just like, I get that
it's not happening to me, it's for me. But at
the same time, it's not easy. In the silence that
can't be I mean, that's not easy. So you just
(27:25):
have to take it one day at a time. But
you know what I told you in the car today
because we were having a conversation and I was talking
to her about you know, um, a few conversations about Mike,
and you said, which part, like, your guys are really good? Oh? Yes, yes,
I've been impressed y'all. Are it seemed to be really
good getting along? We call parenting. Well, yeah, we're we're
(27:47):
co parenting, you know. Well, and um, you know we
have conversations every once in a while. And she's like,
you said you were proud of me. Oh, yes, I'm
so proud of you. I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't know.
We had a lot of conversations in the car. Yes,
I'm so proud of you. You've done a really, really,
really great job. I think you have. Oh I know
(28:09):
what we are to now, I remember. Anyways, Yes, I'm
very proud of you. You have done a good job,
and you've put things aside, and I think you've just
decided to you know, it's more important to get along
and be happy. And well, you know what I said,
as I said, um, what would the Kardashians do? Oh
(28:33):
my god, I love that because it's so true, because
it's like, you know, you look at Tristan and Chloe
and again this is the most probably stupidest example ever,
but they just seem so forgiving. Yes, it's like once
they're part of your family, always a part of their family. Yeah,
like Chloe. Yeah, like Scott Jeez, who are like somehow
(28:54):
still I just love Scott to sick. I don't know
why I like. I don't know. I don't like the
lot late, like the latest thing that he did, but
it doesn't matter. I still like them. But um, when
it comes to you know, I just saw, like Chloe
interest in taking their little one to you know, gymnastics
or dance or whatever. And it's like to be able
to look outside and say, Okay, did Mike hurt me? Yes?
(29:17):
Did do I like what happened? No? Um do? I
still get upset and I'm sad, absolutely like I have
major cry facets in my house when it's silent, and
but I'm also trying to flip the switch. Okay, how
is this not happening for me? It's not happening to me,
even though it feels like it is. Um and I
(29:37):
still don't feel like I've gotten that one apology that
I feel like I deserve. But at some point it's
just like you just have to let it go and
be like Okay, this energy like holding onto all this
stuff is and I'm not going to get the milk
at home deep, or I'm not gonna get what I
want home deep, Like I keep going to home deep
(29:57):
I and getting it. Like my therapist said, so it's
just so he come up comes to a point where
you're just like okay, like it's you have to just
not move on, but just be like this is this
is just who he is, and I there's no point
in having this resentment, even though yes there are times
when I'm so upset and angry at the situation and
(30:17):
what happened, But at the end of the day, nothing
can change. We're not getting back together, and it's just
hurting you. Yeah, you know, you have to let it
go for you, not for him. You have to be
able to you know, it's not going to change how
he feels. It's not going to change anything other than
how you feel. So you know, now, that doesn't mean
(30:38):
it's not gonna be hard at times. And maybe you're
not ready to go vacation like Scott and Courtney with
the family, but that doesn't mean he can't get there
eventually or figure out what you're normal is. And I
think you know, and hopefully we're on the path because once,
because once I let it go, like okay, that I'm
never going to get the apology that I think I deserve,
(31:00):
and also knowing that I can't change my reality, and
also knowing that it what what. His actions weren't directed
towards me, even though it felt very personal, and I'm
I'm still angry that his actions lead to the divorce,
(31:23):
But at the end of the day, we are here
and this is what it is. And now I'd rather
be friends with him than hate him. It's easier to
be friends with him than hate him, because hating him
just feels bad and it's just bad for you. Again,
it just comes back to it's just gonna eat you up,
and what is it? What's it going to get you?
And I'm going to do what would Chloe do? Chloe
(31:45):
would go to So I'm like, you want to come
to soccer with us? Come on, Like, let's just what's
best for the kids. What's best for the kids is
that we get along. Maybe one day we have family stuff,
Like he invited me to go to the movies with them,
and I told you it was a little too soon.
I left and I started crying and I was like Okay,
that felt too family, Like, well, I think you have
to protect yourself a little bit and take it a
little bit at a time. Yeah, and it doesn't mean
(32:08):
that you have to do what the Kardashians do. It
might not be that comfortable. I mean it's hopefully down
the line, like I would love, you know, to be
really close with whoever he marries or whatever, and like
I would like that, I genuinely would. Sure. Yeah, well
that just takes time. I mean it's still yeah, but
maybe I just yeah, I need to I need to
(32:28):
not rush into Let's just start with being nice to
each other. I have. I have been nice and I'm
just glad, which is great caught up to that. Yeah,
I'll just be kind and take him day by day.
But I thought it was kind of funny. I was like,
what would Chloe and Kim do because they just and Courtney,
Oh that's true. Well, oh that's right that Courtney. But
(32:50):
it's I think there's just something about forgiveness, and um, forgiving.
Forgiveness isn't for the other person, It's for you exactly,
not to like hold onto it anymore. What else, Catherine,
Oh my god, what I'm officially Cramer oh, yes, I
(33:11):
got an email from my business manager and he goes, hey,
your social Security number came in your officially Cramer again,
and I'm not gonna lie. I cried no because okay,
I'm not gonna get heared. Um, I cried because my
kid's names, I'm not like, I'm like, those are my kids.
(33:33):
Like then it just felt so like separated, and I
fee like like that really sucked. Well, here's one way
to help me. Look at it from a different name.
Wanted to keep Cramer, not because of not wanting to
take his last name, but just because obvious. You know,
you're known as Janna Kramer all that, so you had
thought about keeping that name. Anyway, it's easier to say
to the Remember times i'd say cossin ce A U
(33:55):
S s as in Sam I am, They're like Coffin.
I'm like, oh my god. I literally just spent two
seconds spelling it up for you and then said Sam, Sam.
I can't say Sam, I said Sam. But if you
would have kept it, then you would have had a
different last name as your kids, but it wouldn't have
felt that would have just been normal. But then since
then taking cosson, it's like okay, we were like this
(34:18):
family even though you know, I still went by Cramer
and some things just because again it was easier. But
I just think having like now having you know, the
new I D and it's saying what my license still
says Costin but now that I'm officially Cramer, I don't know.
It just it broke my heart, just for the kid aspect,
Like they're my kids, they should have my last name.
(34:41):
I burst them. I know that's such like a big debate. Yeah, no,
I get it, but like I get the whole man like,
but at the same time, no, like I those are
that they came out of my my belly. How does
he get and I have them seventy percent the time
get the last name, because I mean, this is more
just like a funny debate. But I have them seventy
(35:02):
percent in time. They came out of my vagina. Why
did we adopt the whole that they're named after the
dad's It just seems because they sperminate. I don't know,
like they come out of our bellies and we had
to hold them in be sick. So I'm with you
on that, Like it's not fair they should take the
woman's name. We can change them to Cramer. I guess look,
(35:24):
I'm gonna be like, hey, Joela Creamer, you should change
it when you're dude. That's gonna go. Um, but yeah,
I don't know that, just like really that really that
hit me kind of hard. But then also I'm like,
but then after I cried, I was like, I'm Cramer, Yeah,
like I've always been Cramer. And then I cried again,
(35:45):
and then was this all today? No, it was yesterday
when Kevin, and then um, and then after that was
my I basically like, I never change my last name
ever again. No, please don't. I will never pain in
the butt. Yeah, I'm never going to do it again
(36:06):
because at this point it's like I'm already not my
kid's names, right right right, Sorry, future husband for many reasons. Sorry,
I'm just gonna go ahead and apologize now. I you know,
at times, no, Janna, I happen to talk bad about myself, don't.
I'm a second person? Is that second person? I am
(36:27):
a great wife? Yeah, you were a great wife. I
am a great wife. I wasn't. I was a great
wife to my ex. No, I wasn't perfect. I was
a little passive at times. I had a hard time
dealing with trust in the cheating in the affairs. But
you know what, fair, fair, fair, I would have you know.
But I think I'm a good wife. And to the
(36:48):
next person, I'm not saying sorry, I'm saying you're welcome. Yes,
you're welcome, Okay, because I am a catch. Okay, she's
malliam Janna. This is amazing through it part. I mean seriously,
(37:11):
I'm going to have a dance party and be like,
you know what, mother efforts. I am a catch, and
I am fun and I'm a good wife. And I
will rub your back and I will not make you
dinner because I don't know how, but I will try.
But I will get the beau a few dishes you
can do. I have a few. I'm a great side person.
I mean like sides like I would do great size,
I mean great salads. Um And I'm funny and I
(37:34):
like to travel. I feel like I'm filling out my
dating profile right now. I'm funny. I like to travel.
I'm very spontaneous. I like long walks on the beach.
I love a sunset. Um my faults where I can
look in the mirror and say, okay, I can be
a little passive. But I'm learning how to do that.
I'm learning how to not have you read my mind. Um,
(37:55):
it's impassive. We're passive aggressive. What's the difference? I me
not passive aggressive, so I'm not saying yeah, okay, kettle
black Wow did you say glass glass rock, like glass
house or whatever. I went to the door. Oh the door,
Oh that was that's since been shattered, by the way,
(38:17):
I'm still picking up pieces of the pantry door fault. Yeah, Beth,
she grabbed the bat like. I saw people's comments like, oh,
go gather, and I was like, oh, should I take
credit for this or should I think it was not me? Um? Anyway,
moving on to the fact that I'm a Cramer and
my kids are not here. We go. We're going to Vegas,
(38:39):
which I'm super excited about for the Heart Festival. I
cannot wait to just get dressed up and have fun.
And um then a gamble wan a gamble a little bit.
Let's get fun, let's get let's just get like real
fun Valium jam in Vegas. By the way, again, I
do not promote valum um. This is this is just
a this is was a side effect of and I
(39:00):
was on my boot job that I took some By
the way, I'm very happy about Stiff. You definitely seem like, okay, well,
you know what, that was a great episode and I
can't wait to talk to you gus next week. Bye bye,
Host
Jana Kramer
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