May 5, 2025 • 49 mins
Who makes the schedule and appointments in your family? Jana opens up about the struggles of co-parenting and we try to figure out why logistics always fall on the moms!
Whine Down received a Hope Award! We hear all about all 3 ladies taking the stage to accept the honor.
And, Jana shares the story of why she had to fire her nanny!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Whine Down with Janet Kramer and iHeart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello, okay, hot Mike, I guys, Sorry, that was just
Catherine just checking in.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I thought I laughed and then it didn't register, so
I was like, oh no, I don't think my mic
is on.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
No, it's on check check one. Let you doing great.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
That was a great entrance. I like that.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
We should be that every time. Just go he hello
a little.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Hey you guys listening? Are we there? Oh? Man? Where
do we even begin on today's episode? Where would you
like to start? Crammer? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'd like to start with something called sacrificial lamb. Cat
we missed you last night.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Oh yeah, sorry, I can't make it.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I it's funny because I want to believe you because
I love you, But it just didn't sound like it's
supposed to be out of town.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Yeah, yeah, you have to assume. Yeah, it was the
whole thing. What is with.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Well, it's part of this is whinying about it, and
I don't I will, I'll pin that piece, but remind me.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Okay, I'll remind you. Anyways, going on, moving on.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Well, there's a lot going on you guys.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
After that last show, everything hit the fan. It was
like a member. It was wild where yeah I was.
I was kind of stressed and crazy leaving for the movie, right,
and then an hour before I left for Kentucky, Oh.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Yeah, I was like wait what, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Alan and I had to fire our nanny and it
was like wild wild wild wild, but uh so we are,
which I do. Just think it is hilarious because I
left here and I was driving and I leave you
this voice memo and I'm like, I just want you
to know I love you, and I feel like you're
doing great and everything's gonna work out, like I because
I feel that residual, like I feel the residual pea
(01:57):
bottom falling out, can't trust anyone like I just know
that feeling so well. And I was like, I'm just
going to reiterate, like maybe if we just keep telling
ourselves enough, you know, and each other enough.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Like twenty minutes later, you're like, god left.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
I mean, I mean, the bottom doesn't.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Really foul out like you think you don't have it
together now, let's just throw this in there.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I know.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
It was just one of those where I because I
ended up it was such a out of body experience
where I had to voice memoy you guys to say
I'm not overreacting, and then you guys were like, absolutely not.
I mean, it was something happened that was so wildly
inappropriate that she did with our son. And so I
(02:41):
mean it was whether we because we do. I mean, shit,
I was leaving for a movie and you know we
don't have help leading up now being in the movie.
And so but there's there's things that happen that you
it's an immediate you're gone, yeah, and it's it's sad
because and it was one of those things where I
ended up I ended up texting her after I settled
(03:04):
down because I didn't do the talking.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I was so upset when I kind of heard and
all this stuff, and so Alan did most of it,
and I ended up texting that night because I think
there are things that people do on a professional level
that are so wrong, like what she did was so wrong,
but on a human level. That's when I was like,
(03:26):
you are young, and you know I do care about
you so on a professional level that you know this
is why obviously, and you know why. And she was like,
I understand if you had to fire me, like she
understood so like professional level, that was wrong, and you know,
don't ever do that again with your next family.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Human level.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I care about you, you know, I hope you can
heal from all of this that you have going on,
and so I really tried to just because I'm like,
I am older and you know I can. I could
have funded the police with it, you know. But again
I think there's profession, there's a human level. So but
and then I wrote like a really nice message and
was she receptive to it? She did not respond, and
(04:07):
she blocked me because she probably knows what we could
legally do. So but piece of me was like so
annoyed that she didn't respond because I was like, I
was so kind to you when you did something, so yeah,
you could be like I could legally go to the
police and have her arrested for she's.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Worried about that.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
You would think that she would come back with like
a kind like thank you for but.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
I think that just solidifies that, you know, be more
on paper guilt right now? Well true, yeah, but I
mean she blocked me, she didn't respond back, and that
piece I was like, damn it, like I was trying
to because I even was like I knew she wanted
to be a facialist, so I even said, and when
you book, so I was like, professional level, that was
so wrong, and I'm so sad and I'm so disappointed
(04:50):
human level. I care about you. I hope you heal
from this. I hope you know that you should never
you know, you know, be involved in this. And then
I go, and if you ever follow your dreams of
being a face, I hope I'm your first appointment that
gets to book, like just being that's really I that
was considered. Yeah, and then so then nothing and then
I was like, oh my god, she blocked and well yeah,
(05:11):
so I was kind of bumming out, but I also
understood maybe like why, I mean, but whatever, So yeah,
that's that.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
That would bother me. It did bother im right now.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
But it did bother me because I was like, I
could have went way off.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
And remind me, you weren't even in there when she got.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Fired the first time that she I was in there.
That when Alan found out, because Alan found out before
me of what happened, and she lied about it. The
second time when we got more information and we called
her in, that's when I was in and that's when
we fired her.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Yeah, gotcha.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
So but I let Alan do the most of the
docking because I was, yeah, spoiling. But that goes to
the part where it's so hard to trust m people
the hardest. Yeah, but anyway, that's right, children, Oh my goodness, And.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
That's that's even my thing. I'm like to me, if
anything feels off with someone that's watching your children, it
could be super extreme, it could be not that extreme,
but you just don't feel.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Right about it. You have every right.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, I just will always feel that way, like it
is your children. There's nothing more precious than that. And
if you're not comfortable with something that has happened, you
have every right to let them go.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I think it's just kind of a stressful time because
this at this stage while I'm recording right now, I'm like,
we have nobody and Alan has to work.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
I can't cancel my movie, you know. So it's like
written into the script literally like Okay, all of a sudden,
now I'm a mom in the movie.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Like she has to go, but like, what are we
going to do?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
He's got clinics and now he's he got a new
job doing something else that I can't shaw you up
very excited, like very excited about for him, and so
we're just like, you know, we've got a really great
two sitters that kind of helped us when he was younger,
so they've been helping out. But they don't want to
do full time. They don't want to do thirty hours,
and I need at least thirty So we're just kind
(07:01):
of figure piecing it together right now and trying to
figure it out. And we were meeting with uh someone
actually today and you know, she the girl was like,
do you have any you know, any requirements. I'm like, well,
as long as you don't do and then she's like, whoa,
She's like definitely not.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
I'm like, well, then we're good. Yeah, bar is actually
real low rite.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Now, what about frustrating the one that you almost hired
that wanted more time to take another job?
Speaker 4 (07:27):
Probably I don't want full time?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Well you just said full time you needed for thirty hours, okay,
so not like forty hours, yeah, thirty hours because.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I like to have my day. I like to have
one or two days with it, you know what I mean,
day and a half of them. So during the week
because I don't really I don't need every day, right,
So yeah, we're we're back to this conversation guys that
we've had.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
That's all it's on in my life.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
So you know, I feel like you just left for
the movie. You're like back and you literally went for
a day.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
It was so much fun. We were at the Keenland Races.
It was so awesome. But then I leave back to
go to Kentucky because I wanted to go to Yeah,
pretty much, I wanted to go to the Hope Grows
event last night for our therapy center.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
You were supposed to be there. By the way, who
has my Hope Award? Do you have it? I don't
have her. I definitely don't have it because I wasn't there.
So last year we should catch them up.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
So last year the podcast as a whole received We
received the Hope Award, which is people that are doing
work in the community talking about mental health, and our
podcast was Us Girls. We were the Hope Award winners
along with Jason Waller for his work that he's done
around mental health. And so I wasn't able to be
(08:37):
there because I was shooting gas lip by my husband,
and so I sent in a video. You girls accepted
the award and that is the speech. So this one
was next year, we were passing on the Hope Award.
It's our job to go up and present it to
the next recipient. And person is very upset with me.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
I was gonna say, how to go?
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I thought to agree. I want to just repeat it was
our job to go. Okay, this is okay. We needed you.
I even looked at your last night. You wouldn't have
said anything Splitsville with me.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
I did have to last year, and I really wanted
to puke you split well. I had to say something.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Yeah, I did say something accepting an award for sure,
this is different.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
All I remember is my rings going to target last year.
I don't know that's right.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I do need you to.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Really put on your objective lens. When Kramer tells you
her version.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
You're putting me in the middle. Okay, tell me what happened?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Wait, wait, can I hear let's let's let's start with
one version in the other version, where do we start?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
We had no what what from my knowledge of it is,
did you know the rundown of the show?
Speaker 4 (09:47):
They did email us out? Okay, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I've been trying to study an entire script.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
No, this isn't me throwing you under.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
The bus, because I also had to search award in
my email and like cram for the test yesterday. Once
they said they wanted us at five, I was like, okay,
I need like a grip on this night, Like I
that's where I'm at.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
I didn't even know the location.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Yeah, same, I was like, is this the Rolling Hills
Church in Franklin or in Nolan'sville?
Speaker 4 (10:12):
You know?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
But also and I just I just knew that we
were giving me award to the Next Hope Award winner,
So we didn't know. Even Jason Waller calls me. I
was in Keenland at the races and Jason's got calling
and we were in a break and like hey buddy,
He's like, hey, so what are we doing?
Speaker 4 (10:27):
And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, oh,
for the for the Hope Wars.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Like, I don't know, probably just gonna say like and
the next people are or whatever. Because last year Amy
did the rundown of everybody, right, so I thought she
was going to do the rundown again. They'll probably go back,
She'll probably go back like again, nobody really told us
anything until last second, so we just kind of thought
(10:51):
we were all going to be up there. But then
when we got there and we were trying to figure
out what we're going to say, and I'm like, she's funny.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
You just go with it.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Oh, y'all had to come up with something to say.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
But we didn't know because we didn't know they send
us her bio to learn about her, and I thought
they just sent it so that we could like know what,
like the capacity.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
In which and why she's nominated.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Right.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I also was I misunderstood and thought Jason was also
presenting to our person name, but then we found out
he's like, oh, no, I'm just I'm I guess I'm
just presenting to Ben Zobrist, who was a base former
professional baseball player and he's doing a lot of stuff
around mental health as well. He's got a foundation, and
so he he's like, yeah, I'm just reading his thing,
and we're like, oh, okay, we didn't know. We didn't
(11:31):
know the timing, we didn't know when to go up.
I mean, it was like we had no literally no idea,
and so Christen's like, you know, do you want to
take the second part? I was like, no, just you
just read the whole thing, like it's two paragraphs, like
you got it. Because in my mind, when I watch
presentations and you're at this point of the program, it's
it's a it's worth.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
It's least, it's ish, it's long, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Right, And so someone hasn't and then someone moves the
mic to them, to them, you know, and it's like
to me when I watch those things, I'm like, just
send one representative, like just you know, unless it's something
they want to share, a meaningful story, fine, whatever, but
like just send the one person.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
So I'm like I'll be up there on.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
The stage with you, so like you already know the
like the first part of it, like just just read
both of it because like then for me to walk
up or like for me to like and I didn't
memorize it, by the way, I was just going to
read that course like there's no yeah, but I'm saying that.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I would have had a panic attack if I got
there and was told that we should to say more than.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I Yeah, just read the thing, and I'm like it's
just like for for you just to read one and
then for me to come in. It's just to me
just felt kind of chunky and like chopped. So I
just read the whole thing just because it's you know,
I said, then you read the whole thing because it's
your podcast. But no, it was not me though we
all got the award. That was my point. I'm like,
it's not just and like that. That's the thing. I'm like, yes,
(12:46):
I understand, it's it's not just my pos like, it's ours,
Like you guys are you know on it too? You
also got the award. It's not just me that got
the award. You got the award last year. You got
the award last year. So I'm like, and I don't
always want to be front center, especially in those kind
of things that you should like, you should be the
you know whatever. I also hate speaking in Then.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
I'd do one thing real fast.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, this same I was gonna like the only one
that got the award, your name on the award.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
We actually so there's that.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I don't even it's it's in Catherine's car somewhere under
a seat, So why go through me? And they have
given you the award and not I don't remember, Yeah,
they definitely regardless, I don't know who they gave it.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
It wasn't like they didn't really Amy just kind of
called us all up together. So it's just was like weird,
Like it was just weird, like I didn't know the
run of it, wasn't organized in that piece of.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
It actually say real fast, I even remember last year
not having a clue when we even went up, yeah,
or like how we got up.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
And it or like a little bit even more I
could this year, like to the point where like Jason
introduces Ben and Ben stay seated and then Jason assos it.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
I thought he was coming. So that's why I was like,
that's where I just like froze.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
I'm like, I phrase, and so then Jason's like ladies,
and I was like, oh okay, Like but to have
someone talk about you publicly and you just sit there
and wait your turn. And then we talked about the
other one publicly and then they both came up.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
No, we didn't need to wait, so did Janna?
Speaker 3 (14:24):
So you went up?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I thought you said you did. You said went up, Sorry, okay,
I'm following.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
She still thought. Then didn't go up.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeh. Janna's so like Jana's wedding rested behind you and
you talked got us. I'm there, yeah, no, no, no, I'm
just setting one representative. Okay, so you said, so I
even thought I'll ask. I was like, I bet sports Alan,
you know, like coach Allen. I thought if I could
just get in super striker mode if I was like, hey,
you know, does Alan know that you're not talking all
up there?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
You know? And she was like and I tapped on
alan shoulder. I was like, is she's not going to talk?
And he's like he whispers her a year.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
They laughed.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
She's like, yeah, I'm still not talking. I'm like, okay,
I and she kept going, but I'm in the award.
I was like, I was like, I'm the one giving
the award, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Like that like that was like, actually I didn't.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
See the point of And I asked Alan after He's
like it's like either way.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
He's like, you know, so.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I said, I'm just reading it. You go read it.
I just I'll stand there and hold the award. Didn't
do it anyways. I called myself the sacrificial lamb. I
was like, here we go, I'm back up there. And
I was spicy coming in cat oh was She's spicy.
She was spicy. I said, the irony that I'm on
the verge of a mental breakdown going to a mental
health advocacy program is like not lost, Tony. I was spicy,
(15:42):
and I wanted to be in this like holy place
where everyone was like really getting emotional, and I just was,
I don't know, I don't know what's happened. If I'm
being so honest though, like I know my face is
right here, but I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
To make it about it, I know you don't, So
that is why if.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I'm being honest, I was like, I want you to
have your moment to like and I'm there, I'm there.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Let me see what I'm also saying preface this by
you don't necessarily want it that way.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
It's just the reality. It just is.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
I know you don't want it that way. You even
send us things like hey girl, like we I know that, Like,
I know you don't want it that way. We actually
the least artist artist. I know you want it so
much to be us three that's just not always the reality, which.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
You know I'm good with. I'm not like complaining about.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
But the honest to God's truth is the reality of
your face is the one. You're the one that brings
in because you have the following. So that's just the reality.
I know you don't like it that way. You would
love for us all. You would literally bring anyone into
your to want that. Like, let me be clear. So
when I say that, I don't mean it in that way.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
I know you don't want it that way. It's just
kind of the reality of what it is.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
But in like that night, I'm like, let's say, but
I hear your like for that, I get that, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Yeah, the reading loud, for the read aloud.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
I'm like, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
You're just so good with your words. I'm not great
in that space when it's when I don't really know
what I'm saying, like you're you like, even if the
last thing you said was so well said, I'm like,
I couldn't said that. I'd have been like, here your word.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I mean, I honestly like, I hate talking on stage.
Janna really doesn't like it either, go figure, you know.
I mean, like she's the artist, but she doesn't like it.
She doesn't enjoy it either. It makes her uncomfortable. And
so I do think to a fault sometimes again, I
wasn't there, so I'm not, but like you know, I
fall back on you, like, man, Kristen's so good at this,
She's so great. It's like such a strength of yours
(17:37):
that I do think that it can If I were
there one hundred percent, I would have been like, oh,
christ I's got this, and it's in a positive way.
It's like you're just so good at this, and I'm
so uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
I think I thought good at this.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I'm sorry the unsturdy coming in for sure, Like you
know that feeling where you're just like could cry at
any moment, absolutely, like right.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Now, well, and those things are going to happen. We're
going to be in bad places and the things are
going to happen. But I want you to see that
I believe if I were there, that this intention was
is that you're just so good at this, And I
did feel that way out like this, I mean, you know,
like so I do feel like I would have probably
done the same thing. Obviously, I didn't want to speak
when I had to do the award you talked for like,
(18:22):
I think we had one minute and I was like, great,
you've got fifty five seconds and I've got five seconds.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
And the only way that I could do it that
I felt comfortable was because I sent in a video
from from Morgantown, West Virginia, you know what I mean,
And I redid it twenty million footing time. Yeah, And
I will say I did have this moment last night
where I was like, I just need to get out
of my own way because I had the other part
about this is it wasn't like it wasn't a free
like I didn't get to go up and like say
(18:47):
much or make a joke like it didn't fit. That's
when I almost wanted to come up because I knew.
I was like I don't get to like break the
ice or make a funny joke or like you know,
like I And you know, one thing that's like really
interesting about all us, like sometimes when you're you have
a strength, then you're leaned on a lot for that strength.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
But that can feel like a lot of pressure.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
For instance, you are the obviously the face and the
glue of this podcast, and so we lean on you
because it's essentially you started this podcast. It's you know,
and that can be a lot of pressure at times.
You're really good at going on stage and talking or whatever.
But in that night, you weren't having a great night
and it felt like a lot of pressure and you
didn't want.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
That pressure down. And I'm sorry you didn't let me down.
I did.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
I should have. I should have. You really had my
own stuff aside. But I also I had those other asterisks.
I was like, no, I want her to have her moment,
and like you, I didn't take it like. I just
kept making jokes. I was like cream or just anything,
because I'm also like, it isn't my podcast, you know, like.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
And I get that feeling too, Like I was like, are.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
They just like is this gonna be? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
It was really we really just laughed a lot about it,
Like I kept sliding the phone laughing because I'm joking.
But then I was like at them when it happened
because of how awkward the the whole stuff was. I
was like, oh, she's mad. I even texted Catherine and
was like, I think that was actually mad at me. No,
I wasn't mad, Grison. Yeah, I really wasn't mad at you.
I I want to share them before, but I don't
(20:12):
want to. Well, I think that before is a really
I know, but it's dumb, but it's not dumb.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
But it's always it's like reasons why we react to things.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Again, maybe we.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Can move into wine about it.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Okay, okay, let's.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Take a break and get to wine about it. Dearest listeners.
We are now in wine about it. And there is
a good chance that I might be in my pre
minstrel cycle. And that is why this is so emotionally driven.
(20:51):
So I had a dress that I hadn't worn, and
I was like, this will be perfect for Hope grows.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
It felt like it made me feel condensed, and it
long sleeve, and I.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Just felt like like it would I felt like I
could just be myself. I didn't have to worry. You're
not wondering like if things are hanging out or tucked
in whatever. And when I tried to try it on
earlier in the week, I couldn't zip it up.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Okay, that's a little listen. I do not think I'm
a big person. I'm not.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
I just was like, oh, that's.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Disappointing, right, So I thought I'll give it a couple
of days, you know, I'll like water weight whatever, and
I'll put on spanks and I'll try again. Hope Awards day,
Well I did, and I busted the zipper trying to
put it up. So I wrote to jan I go,
what are you wearing? Because at one point her and
(21:41):
I had talked about it. I'm not laughing at it,
I know, and I busted the zip. Yeah, it was
a comedy moment.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Listen.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Also, I like pinky swear on Life Bible. I was
not mad at her last night at all. I just
was like, I don't think they're here to see me,
so I'd like that to just like get up there,
read the bio, read aloud. Anyways, So I busted the zipper.
Well that's all happening. Preston originally couldn't come with me,
which or originally he could come with me. Then he
(22:10):
booked a show, so I took my RSVP down to one,
and then I tried to add one a couple weeks
ago because I thought maybe I was assuming you and
Nick were coming her and Alan, and I'm like, maybe
I don't want to sit alone. I default two alone
always I do everything alone. So but I'm trying this
like newness kind of chapter in my life where I'm like,
(22:32):
do I do that because I want to or just
because that's like what I know. So I thought, well,
maybe I could bring like a friend like I thought
about Sarah Bryce Ashley Wilson, like I just you know,
like I was like, I'll bring up or even love
until I watched the video and it felt like the
subject matter was a little heavy. So when I tried
to add one more it was they were like, no
big deal, just let us know because we have to
shift tables around. And I'm like, well that's I said, no, no, no, no,
(22:55):
I'll fly solo. It's fine. So I bust the zipper
last night. I've already got a velcro baby stuck to
me like doesn't want me to you know, everyone's in
and out of the bathroom.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
It's totally fine. I've got it's fine.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
But I'm already like my hair doesn't feel great, Like
I'm just in a mode and I'm trying to feel
like and I keep going like this is going to
be great. Whatever I wear is going to pull together,
it's going to be fine. The busted zipper was hard
two times over because I am not wearing what I want.
And also that is a real feeling like we I
had Preston and Christine trying to zip me into this, okay.
(23:34):
So Preston says, well, I feel he was excited. He
was excited because his show got canceled and he could
get to Legends game last night because there's seventy five
things going on at once. This is my wine about it,
because I feel like I can never plan.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
Anything.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
And so he baseball game gets canceled because we're in
the middle trenchill downpour. And so he's like, maybe I
go with you five minutes before I'm heading out the door.
And I said, well, I would love that, but you
can't because the tea it's already signed, seating, there's tables,
blah blah blah. And so he didn't get to go.
So I call cranmerround the way. She's like, he should
(24:16):
just come. We'll pull up a table, you know, we'll
pull up a chair, blah blah blah. Well, no, I
he was already promised Legend you take him to the woods.
And I'm like, everything just feels so chaotic and clunky,
and I'm like, I'm doing my best to round my
A type edges and not be so like that is
my I came out with the clipboard. I'm sure I
was born with one and so I'm trying to like
(24:39):
really be flexible. I feel like I do a good
job for my personality type in our world doing that.
But at some point, I'm like, it would have been
great just to have him to hold my hand. Sure, well,
that's why I held your hand because I was holding
Alan's hands what I was gonna say, And so then
I had this momentere I was like, she's by herself,
and so I was like, I just that's when I
held your hand and they were talking about cycle breakers,
(25:01):
and like, I mean, it was really it's always powerful.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
That night is so powerful. But yeah, I just really I.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Feel like nothing stays the way it's planned, and I'm
trying to like embrace that and be more joyful. And
part of me is just being frustrated too, you know
that's fair the like Kentucky, you know, you're like, oh,
I've got a nanny, and then one hour later you
don't have a nanny, and it's just like, at some
point it just feels like, I don't know. The funny
(25:31):
piece of that was when we called Preston. We're like,
come on, Preston, and he's like, I wasn't invited, and
I was like.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
The funnier pieces.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
We hung up with Preston and we run right into
a couple's therapists and I was like, yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
Should have kept you on the phone for five more minutes.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
That was funny because our couple of therapists obviously was
you know, it's at the same therapy center. And so
she's like, you know, do you want me to address
you if I see you at the event, And I'm like, oh, yeah,
I don't care, Like I'm very free about talking. We
actually just talked about a couple of therapy that we go
on our last adult education episode. And so while we
were walking in her and her husband when it was
(26:05):
like this same time, and I'm like, this is our
couples therapist was a mess.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Anyways, I'm just you know, it's just.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
The dominoes of like and then you know, you're going
up on stage, you're su're not You're still not sure
what you're gonna say, and so I'm coming in not feeling.
I had like two hard boiled eggs for dinner, like
cause I'm you know, trying to make everybody feel good
before I leave. It's just that feeling. And then you
get there and you're supposed to be this like stoic,
well spoken, maybe even funny person, and I just was like,
I don't feel like this, like I want to weep
(26:34):
in a chair and eat this dessert. Actually, so that
was that I've hijacked it. Well, I'm sorry that I
didn't show it for you better as a friend, and
that no, you couldn't have known. And I couldn't talk
about much of it on my way there because I
knew if I did, I.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Would just cry.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
And I was like, I have fresh makeup on. I
just need to take a deep breath and remember Jesus's
hands on my shoulders. That's what I always picture. He
stands behind me with his hands on my shoulders and
I can take a deep breath. And so I was
just trying to get in that place. And then it
got even more clunky up at the podium, and the
podium is see through.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Yeah, you know, it's not like.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
You can hide behind it.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Even so you're like you use that as like a yeah,
and all of a sudden, I mean I have hives
thinking about it. So yeah, it's like a win to
you do your soul and they're up there and yeah,
no chance for the Icebreaker.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
It just was not my Well, are you having a
better day today? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Good? Yeah, And I'm getting up and working out every
morning because I know that helps with this feeling that
I'm having. Sure, the zipping up dress is feeling and
also the anxiety. Right, yeah, I'm just in a season.
It's really fine. I'm sure you know, Creamer really thinks up.
I promise I was not. I just kept thinking, they
want to see you, they don't want to see me.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
That's the feeling.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
So I didn't want to be the one that was
talking because oh and see, I want to give that too,
you know what.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
And that's always going to be a feeling that we'll
probably always kind of have around, you know.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
I mean, and it's just listen, I want you, I
want that.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
I so bad this show. I try. I try. I
say things all the time what Gathered says. Except for
a few people on the social media.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
I care, and I would like to have them quote you,
not me.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
But it's fine. I like not having that yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah, yeah, oh god, what are the things I would
say if I didn't care?
Speaker 1 (28:27):
That's what I'm saying. It is, That's what I'm saying.
I feel like being able to have that. I mean,
I definitely will have people send me stuff, but like
you know, it's not that big of a deal speaking
of this isn't a wine down, but this is like
a positive thing. A whine about it, but a positive thing.
From what we talked about last week. I think it
was last week we talked about we should do we
(28:49):
should have a positive I want to That was my
thought today when I was getting ready, because I was
trying to think about if I had any wine about
it and wines about it, and I was like, you know,
I've got like the same old like you know whatever,
but I really don't have anything. And I was thinking,
we if we don't, I think it's a good thing
to go, Hey, we don't have a whine about it.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Let's let's talk about some positive stuff. Anyway.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
All that to say, when we talked about filling in
the blanks, I think it was last week. I had
this sweet follower that we will go back and forth
a lot on social media about different things and we'll
like debate stuff or whatever, and she's so super super sweet. Well,
she had sent me something like last week or something,
and I was just in really busy mode with the kids,
(29:30):
and I remembered getting it, but it was like a video.
I didn't watch it whatever, and I didn't respond, so
she listened to the podcast. I guess it would have
been this on Monday, okay, because she sends me a
message and she was like, I'm just going to send
this to you because I was just listening about filling
in the blanks and I wanted to tell you that
I'm filling in the blanks right now. With you not responding,
I feel like I offended you. And if that's the case,
(29:53):
like I'm so sorry, blah blah blah blah blah, but
like we usually talk about this and you always respond. Anyway,
it was just this really sweet message. I was like,
I'm so glad you sent me that. Yeah, because like
good for you, because I was literally just busy, haven't
even looked at the video, yeah, just not in a place.
And she was like, oh my gosh, I feel so
much better.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
It was just a really positive note that I was like,
maybe she would have done that before, but I don't
think she would have. I think it really helped her
to say just tell me, like, I'm filling in the
blanks here, and it makes me not feel good, like
she was worried about it.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Well, that's really sweet because I had to block like
five more people from the last episode. You're ugly, that
dress looks terrible on you.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Wait, what dress? What are we talking about?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
When when I had to did my Amazon, I posted
a reel of some of the dresses and I'll, you know,
go to my requests and you see my dms, and
there was a couple like, you're you look disgusting, the
dress looks terrible on you. And then one I responded
to and I was just like, well, I'm really glad
you don't have to wear it, like have a blessed day. Yeah,
(30:54):
And the other is I just I just straight blocked.
So but I'm like, well, I'm sorry, that's just yeah,
I'm really happy that you have.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Well, I mean, I definitely got the you know, attacts
last week, but I just thought that that was a positive.
But she took it, she listened, and then it it
kind of enabled her just or whatever, like gave her.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Absolutely. I love that. I love that.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Brittany Cartwright claims ex Jax Taylor has never scheduled an
appointment for their four year old son, Cruise, so she's
opened up about her estranged husband, Jack's Brittany is on
the valley, and she said that, you know, he wants
to be a great dad. He is a great dad,
but he's never scheduled an appointment, never hired a therapist,
never hired a school, you know, nothing like that. So
(31:38):
there's a difference. So every now and then, I feel
like I want him to be in his school and
he's like, well, maybe he should be in this type
of school.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
I'm like, well, you haven't done anything, you know. She said.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
It's a bit annoying and can make co parenting harder
because she feels like she's getting the heavyweight, and if
we disagree on something, it agitates me because I'm the
one that has to do all the research. Not that
all dads are like that. Some dads are hands on
and everything. I do feel like there's a difference in
moms uh and dads for the most part.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
I mean, I.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Gotta be honest, Well, I feel like whether you're married
or co parenting, I mean, even when I was married
to Mike, he never made one doctor's appointment, and now
married to Alan, like, he's not made one doctor's appointment
for Roman, I make and I don't have a problem
like that, And I just know now that's my response, like,
that's just what falls on the moms to do.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
If I asked Nick to call the doctor if someone
needed to go, he absolutely would, but he would say
who is their doctor? Yes, without a doubt, he would
have no clue. He would do it, but he doesn't know.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah, same, and I will say what I've done now
with And this is my only advice, maybe to Brittany,
is because I don't want to have to do all
of it with my co parent with Mike. So I
don't like the dentist. We all know that I've talked
about not liking the dentist. He is in charge of
making dentists appointments for the kids.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
I don't want. I just don't want to do it.
I don't want to take them.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
I don't want to go, like I don't want I
take them to do all their other appointments.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
That is his.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
That's smart.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
So I'm like, you get the dentist. So like even
I saw he he scheduled them on two different days
and I said, I need you to can you please
reschedule those two because the last week of school and
we have them at the same time, and I don't
want to take them both days, you know, because those
are now on my day. So he normally so yeah,
like ninety nine percent of the time and he is
(33:24):
scheduling and taking the kids. I actually taken them a
few times, but it's like that I want you that
is for your day, and I like that takes I
literally have to I have to ask him, though obviously
you do it.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
But I mean I think that's okay. I don't know,
I don't.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
People might disagree with me, but it's not that it's
a mom's job, but it's just kind.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Of kind of is kind of is I guess is
there's probably something else there, Like I don't know that
it's about scheduling appointment.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Here's the other thing I was going to say.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Like it's just the low hanging fruit to be like
and I do this, you know, like I feel like
there's so much weight on us there. I mean, there's
studies that come out with the amount of schedules that
we hold in our brain and everything that's on a
mom's played specifically in this like in a twenty twenty
five mom is like another job and a half.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Right, But what I was gonna say, is the comment
he makes about the school.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Now, that would bother.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
Me if you don't like she said, he makes comments
about maybe he should be in a different school.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
I think it's a heat.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, now that's where I would go and do the research. Okay,
then do the research and what kind of school do
you think that they should be in? And let's talk
about that that I feel like maybe because that would
bother me, Like if you don't like the doctor, then
do some research and find your own doctor, you know,
or if you don't like so I feel like maybe
that's something that's getting to her.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yeah, And I feel like again, it's just kind of
I mean, even with you know, Jolie's dyslexy talking emailing
school and I actually like because I know it's it's
getting done and I don't have to ask, hey did
you do Hey did you call and make the eighteen
month appointment? Or hey, you know when we actually we
got in a waiting list and we we're in now
the new pediatric place. So you know, those are things
(35:03):
that I don't want to have to ask because it
might not be as its appointments aren't important to them,
but they've got other things they're doing, so I just
it's you know, we can, we can do it. And
but when it comes to the co parenting, that's when
I'm like, hey, can you handle this piece? Yeah, and
I'll handle the rest. I also love feeling connected. So
when I'm making the appointments and I'm in charge of
(35:24):
all this, like that makes me feel connected to Like
I don't want to have to tune in or catch
up on that.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Kind of I want to say.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
I mean, yes, the controlling part of me is not
I'm sorry, this is gonna get but like I don't
want my husband picking the doctor and yeah, the dentist
and where they're going to school. Like I want to
make that decision. And I think dads know that they
know that the moms want to make that decision. I
think they'd be more willing to more than willing.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
To help if you asked. Yeah, but like moms want
to decide where their kids are going.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Well, that's the thing too, Like even when we talk
about the vaccination stuff, like I know, at the end
of the day, Alan has his definite input, but it's
going to to most likely come to But having said that,
we know we there's something else with Roman that I
leaned very heavily on his opinion, and we ended up
going with his opinion on it because it's a male part.
Speaker 4 (36:11):
So you know what I mean, Like there are things where.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
That's his choice, you know, to have that mm hm
you know, yeah, do that whatever. Yeah, maybe, well I
think it's like what you're passionate about. Yeah, Like Preston knows,
I'm passionate about the schooling, the doctor, like all of
that piece. And he trusts me because I am passionate.
I do learn more than like he would want to learn.
And he's like, no, you've got it. And I don't
(36:36):
think it makes them. It doesn't make Mike a bad
dad that he doesn't do the school emails or the
doctor's appointments or and it doesn't make Alan a bad day.
It doesn't make them a not hands on dad. Like
Alan is incredibly hands on, he just doesn't deal with
the logistics of the schooling or the preschools or the whatever.
Like for example, with this movie, I said to him,
(36:58):
with the our girls that we've used when Roman was
little a part time, it's like, can you please text her?
Because I don't want to be the middleman with scheduling.
I don't know what you need, so those things, like
you know, they're gonna have to take over. But SAIDs
that doctors. Woman's doesn't make them ad a bad person
or a bad parent for not doing that.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I do. Mom shares her clever ruse for getting kids
to eat her homemade food. When your kids get picky
about dinner, just order takeout.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
It's such a fun thing.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Alex McLaren, who cooks homemade meals and serves them to
her unsuspecting children in restaurant takeout containers. Oh that's so interesting.
So she puts her food in takeout containers. That's funny
as presentation matters. I learned this early on.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Yeah, but aren't people gonna order? Aren't they going to
order different things? If it's takeout? Like my kids would
and order all the same things.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Yours couldn't probably be duped either though at this age.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
No, that's true. But like you know what I'm saying,
I take out, all five of us aren't ordering the
same thing.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
Yeah. Oh, it's a really good point. I just cook
you guys. I'm cooking stunny.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
I feel like I'm cooking so many I'm cooking so
many foods right now, we are struggling in the dinner department.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
Oh, like I'm trying. I'm trying, but like legend is
just so picky.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
So I try to do a version of whatever I'm
making for them, but like I also just need the
kid to eat.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
So yeah, that's Caine.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
I hear what she's say.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Oh on the Southwest salads and extra and you're.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
Like, I can promise you were not all ordering the
same thing. I will say.
Speaker 4 (38:52):
I got those like little burger baskets.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Do you remember those, like little plastic oval baskets with
like the paper. Yeah, I got those for the kids
last year, and like sometimes I just do like it's
like Fridy night or whatever, and I just cuwe because
it's in a different basket, or like it feels like
they're at the diner. Or I give them a menu.
They like that too, and they check the boxes and
it's all things I was going to make anyway, So
(39:15):
it just makes them feel Joel is.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
Really big on hibachi right now.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
I love a lot.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
I have a Blackstone. I don't even know what hibachi is.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Oh my gosh, I love habachi.
Speaker 4 (39:24):
What is there after? Like rice?
Speaker 1 (39:26):
And chicken and the big hibachi grill you know, like
toss away though. Remember, well, yeah, you're not going to
do well with hibachi, but you just started that. How
did you not know hubachi before forty years? I've never
really eaten them, you know where they go in the fire. Yeah,
and they're like tossing onions and shrimp in the cat's.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Mouth and so fun.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah. I know I've been to one, but it was
Benny on Us maybe maybe yeah, is that about you
think that sounds like it?
Speaker 4 (39:51):
Well, Joelie is like like, hawa, No, I.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Mean you're not going to eat well, you get, but
I would love to another time because I I love
about you and I need a good one around here
because ours closed.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Okay, yeah, let's do that.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Internet reacts to learning Oscar voters didn't have to watch
all nominated movies until now.
Speaker 4 (40:11):
So, uh, that's crazy. Well, all award shows are really fair?
Well that's what I basically was going to say.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
I would love to find an award show that was
actually fair and not vote not traded votes.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
I'm assuming oscars are the same with all that I
know nothing about, like the acting, Yeah, I'm assuming pretty much.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
So until this year.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
They didn't have to watch the films to vote. From
what I'm seeing, I.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Mean, it's not like we have to listen to the
albums to vote.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
Well, you know, I'm passionate. Anything else you want to say,
they're cat Wow, I'll vote for you.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Hello, wind down, ladies, serious listener. I need advice, friends, therapy, drinks.
I need help give it. Around my entire marriage twenty nine
plus years less, I always had a hunch that my
husband was cheating on me. This started from the very beginning,
but I never caught him, and he would always have
a great reason to why I felt that way, usually
(41:10):
paranoia on my side. Oh the gaslighting that was additional
for me.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
Sorry.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Fast forward to December twenty twenty three, and one of
these women reached out to me, telling me that he
needed to be stopped and he was with someone else
at that moment. Oh, there is so much I could say,
but I will try to keep this as short as possible.
After a few days of him saying he was sorry,
admitting to sleeping with all the women I had a
(41:35):
hunch on, I decided I had to give him a
chance to prove himself. Fast forward to September twenty twenty four,
and I'd finally had my limit. Anytime that I was
not at home, whether it was doing things with family, friends,
or traveling for work, he would never stay home. On
that evening last September, he was on his way home
from having beers after work. I told him that I
(41:55):
was not feeling he was being honest, and his response was,
it's been ten months, just give it up already. I
then made a comment about him being with other women.
I may have used a few not so nice adjectives,
and his response beggars can't be choosers. The next day,
I texted him and asked him to leave. I wasn't home,
(42:15):
as I knew if I would have been, I would
never have gone through with it. He texted me and said,
are you sure you want me to leave? I replied Yestember.
From September to December of this past year, he never apologized,
never took on ability, and always stated that it is
best to proceed with divorce. We are now divorced as
of Christmas Eve, and he has already moved on. But
(42:38):
I'm having so many issues. Why is he choosing only
one person to be with? Now? Was I the problem?
I know that it's not true, but it's hard to
not feel that way.
Speaker 4 (42:47):
Jana.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I know you've gone through this. You gave your ex
multiple chances and they don't change. I know that I
don't want the man he is today, but why can't
I get him off my mind in the fantasy that
he could be the man I want, in need and
deserve him to be.
Speaker 4 (43:00):
Advice you can give, We will let you take this on.
You guys don't want say anything.
Speaker 3 (43:06):
Like you'll give the best advice here.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
Well, I really just want to read direct her to
ghastly by my husband because I kept thinking of the
entire time, I'm like, this is crazy. I just wish
we could trust our intuition more as women. I think
we always know when we know, and I hate that,
like your gut always knows, we just know. It's why
(43:29):
God designs us to have this intuition and discernment.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
It just sounds like she did know, and she does know,
and she.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
I'm so wildly proud of this person for getting her
foot down and not living the same groundhog's day over
and over again, because I remember when I would go
into essenon meetings and it was for sex addicts. You
know wives or partners that have been with someone that
was a sex addict, and I'd hear these stories and
I mean it was years and years and years. These
(43:59):
women are in their fifty sixties, seventies. One woman was
in her late seventies and she's like, my husband did
it again. And I'm like I cannot be and oh
my god. You know what I mean, Like I don't
want to live that cycle for the rest of my life.
Like this person is not stopping. I have to get out.
So I mean, props to this listener who got out.
And I think one of the hardest pieces is that
(44:20):
either the woman is going to get the changed man.
And why didn't the man change for me?
Speaker 4 (44:26):
Was I?
Speaker 2 (44:26):
And that's I mean I struggled year, like for years
with that, like why was I not good enough for
him to change? Why wasn't I you know, I was
the mother of his children. Why didn't he change for me?
But I think speaking, I'm just going to speak about
your ex husband. If he hasn't taken accountability, he hasn't apologized,
he's not a changed person.
Speaker 4 (44:48):
No person.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
That has gone through healing and change doesn't come back
to hold some accountability for their past or to say hey,
I'm sorry I did this to you and owning up
to it. A person that doesn't take ownership sweeps things
underneath the rugs. They're going to continue their actions and
they're going to be this fake facade of who they are,
but that's not actually who they are. So that woman
(45:12):
is not whoever he's with or ends up with is
not actually getting the true person. They're just getting this
fake persona of who he wants to be, who he
really really wants to be, but who's actually not. So
try and rest in the fact if he hasn't taken
accountability with you, or hasn't you know that to me
(45:33):
is the first piece of he has not healed or changed,
so that you don't even have to worry because that
woman is not going to get a change man, I
promise you. And even if he did so, if that
man does come around and does take healing and accountability,
you are not the reason. Like he wasn't ready, he
wasn't able to in that moment, you know, and you
(45:54):
get to now be with someone that hasn't hurt you,
so you can kind of and it wasn't that you
weren't enough for him to change. I know I wasn't.
I was plenty enough for Mike. He wasn't. He didn't
love himself enough to be the best version of himself.
It wasn't about me. So you have to detach you
and him, like you have to detach your own worth
to his stuff, because it's not the truth. He was
(46:17):
not able to be his best self because his worth
of what he believes you are worthy of a great love,
and don't put his stuff on you. Twenty nine years
is a long time.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
I would also add that if it is a possibility,
I think any separation from learning anything new about his
life is probably needed. I'm twenty nine years. I'm sure
there's some children involved. Maybe not, But I think when
you're trying to heal from something and more than the
loss of someone that's still alive, when they continue to
like when you continue to know information. I remember even
people sending things about my ex to me, and I
(46:54):
just was like, I'm you know, like I'm good. I
don't need to know that information. I feel like I'm
doing my own thing. I've got my own own stuff
I'm working on or whatever. But to continue to get
updates is always like a little like that doesn't help
the process well.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
And just to see that he's with one woman now,
you don't know that, right, You have no idea he's
with woman. And I've said that about other relationships in
the past, like you have no im I look like
they're with one person now.
Speaker 4 (47:17):
Yeah, but he did a good job at twenty nine
years of looking like he's with you.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
But I also think sometimes, especially that long, so like
if he does become this healed version of himself and he,
you know, he changes, I think sometimes if that were
to happen in a marriage where that happens so much, like,
how would that even really work? Like how do you
ever fully trust? You know, like, even if he does
heal and you're still in your marriage and he's a
(47:41):
completely changed man. I know a woman that's been hit
that many times with that, that's going to be really
hard for them to trust. And is he going to
be able to be the healed version that he really
needs to be? Is she going to be the version?
Speaker 4 (47:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
I have a hard time seeing that sometimes, and I
know it's possible, but I think that that would be
hard and maybe it does mean that they have to
be separate too, for him to be able to find
that healed version.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Yeah, I mean, just like with Mike, he'd always be
like there was he realized, He's like at the end,
like there would have never been any he would have
never stopped. And he even admitted that He's like, I
would have never stopped cheating because I was always in
a hole with you. I was always one down. I
was always like underground. He's like, I couldn't climb. I
was so down in the hole. There was no climbing
out of that hole. So you're just going to keep
(48:23):
repeating a pattern his are It just obviously obviously kept happening.
So with him, it's like he had to we had
to not be with each other to do our own healing.
And like, I hope he doesn't cheat on his new girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (48:35):
I hope.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
And it's not because I'm not good enough that he
didn't change for me. So we just couldn't change together
because I changed so much to post him and had
my own healing that I needed to do years before
Mike that I never got to do. So like, and
I'm a way better person now than I ever was
with Mike, you know, So he got like, so Alan's
getting a changed person. Yeah, and like I hope that
(48:57):
this new girl that he has is getting the change person.
Speaker 4 (49:00):
And too.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
It's better for our kids, better for ourselves, and we
want those people. But it doesn't. Don't take it away
from your own worth. Yeah, that you weren't worth changing for.
It's just some guys just can't get out of their
own shame to do the right thing each time.
Speaker 4 (49:14):
Yeah, No, ownership not hot. Let her have him.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Also, we love you a lot, come hang out with
so much ladies. See you when I get back from Kentucky. Actually,
I'll see you on zooms. It's like, wait, we're going
to be doing zooms.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
Love you, love you see it?
Speaker 4 (49:31):
Hibachi? Yes, can I have a non Sey version?
Speaker 3 (49:37):
Were good?
Speaker 4 (49:37):
But yeah, check check out.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
Hello goodbye, Hello bye
Whine Down with Janet Kramer and iHeart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello, okay, hot Mike, I guys, Sorry, that was just
Catherine just checking in.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I thought I laughed and then it didn't register, so
I was like, oh no, I don't think my mic
is on.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
No, it's on check check one. Let you doing great.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
That was a great entrance. I like that.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
We should be that every time. Just go he hello
a little.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Hey you guys listening? Are we there? Oh? Man? Where
do we even begin on today's episode? Where would you
like to start? Crammer? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'd like to start with something called sacrificial lamb. Cat
we missed you last night.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Oh yeah, sorry, I can't make it.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I it's funny because I want to believe you because
I love you, But it just didn't sound like it's
supposed to be out of town.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Yeah, yeah, you have to assume. Yeah, it was the
whole thing. What is with.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Well, it's part of this is whinying about it, and
I don't I will, I'll pin that piece, but remind me.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Okay, I'll remind you. Anyways, going on, moving on.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Well, there's a lot going on you guys.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
After that last show, everything hit the fan. It was
like a member. It was wild where yeah I was.
I was kind of stressed and crazy leaving for the movie, right,
and then an hour before I left for Kentucky, Oh.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Yeah, I was like wait what, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Alan and I had to fire our nanny and it
was like wild wild wild wild, but uh so we are,
which I do. Just think it is hilarious because I
left here and I was driving and I leave you
this voice memo and I'm like, I just want you
to know I love you, and I feel like you're
doing great and everything's gonna work out, like I because
I feel that residual, like I feel the residual pea
(01:57):
bottom falling out, can't trust anyone like I just know
that feeling so well. And I was like, I'm just
going to reiterate, like maybe if we just keep telling
ourselves enough, you know, and each other enough.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Like twenty minutes later, you're like, god left.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
I mean, I mean, the bottom doesn't.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Really foul out like you think you don't have it
together now, let's just throw this in there.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I know.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
It was just one of those where I because I
ended up it was such a out of body experience
where I had to voice memoy you guys to say
I'm not overreacting, and then you guys were like, absolutely not.
I mean, it was something happened that was so wildly
inappropriate that she did with our son. And so I
(02:41):
mean it was whether we because we do. I mean, shit,
I was leaving for a movie and you know we
don't have help leading up now being in the movie.
And so but there's there's things that happen that you
it's an immediate you're gone, yeah, and it's it's sad
because and it was one of those things where I
ended up I ended up texting her after I settled
(03:04):
down because I didn't do the talking.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I was so upset when I kind of heard and
all this stuff, and so Alan did most of it,
and I ended up texting that night because I think
there are things that people do on a professional level
that are so wrong, like what she did was so wrong,
but on a human level. That's when I was like,
(03:26):
you are young, and you know I do care about
you so on a professional level that you know this
is why obviously, and you know why. And she was like,
I understand if you had to fire me, like she
understood so like professional level, that was wrong, and you know,
don't ever do that again with your next family.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Human level.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I care about you, you know, I hope you can
heal from all of this that you have going on,
and so I really tried to just because I'm like,
I am older and you know I can. I could
have funded the police with it, you know. But again
I think there's profession, there's a human level. So but
and then I wrote like a really nice message and
was she receptive to it? She did not respond, and
(04:07):
she blocked me because she probably knows what we could
legally do. So but piece of me was like so
annoyed that she didn't respond because I was like, I
was so kind to you when you did something, so yeah,
you could be like I could legally go to the
police and have her arrested for she's.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Worried about that.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
You would think that she would come back with like
a kind like thank you for but.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
I think that just solidifies that, you know, be more
on paper guilt right now? Well true, yeah, but I
mean she blocked me, she didn't respond back, and that
piece I was like, damn it, like I was trying
to because I even was like I knew she wanted
to be a facialist, so I even said, and when
you book, so I was like, professional level, that was
so wrong, and I'm so sad and I'm so disappointed
(04:50):
human level. I care about you. I hope you heal
from this. I hope you know that you should never
you know, you know, be involved in this. And then
I go, and if you ever follow your dreams of
being a face, I hope I'm your first appointment that
gets to book, like just being that's really I that
was considered. Yeah, and then so then nothing and then
I was like, oh my god, she blocked and well yeah,
(05:11):
so I was kind of bumming out, but I also
understood maybe like why, I mean, but whatever, So yeah,
that's that.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
That would bother me. It did bother im right now.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
But it did bother me because I was like, I
could have went way off.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
And remind me, you weren't even in there when she got.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Fired the first time that she I was in there.
That when Alan found out, because Alan found out before
me of what happened, and she lied about it. The
second time when we got more information and we called
her in, that's when I was in and that's when
we fired her.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Yeah, gotcha.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
So but I let Alan do the most of the
docking because I was, yeah, spoiling. But that goes to
the part where it's so hard to trust m people
the hardest. Yeah, but anyway, that's right, children, Oh my goodness, And.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
That's that's even my thing. I'm like to me, if
anything feels off with someone that's watching your children, it
could be super extreme, it could be not that extreme,
but you just don't feel.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Right about it. You have every right.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, I just will always feel that way, like it
is your children. There's nothing more precious than that. And
if you're not comfortable with something that has happened, you
have every right to let them go.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I think it's just kind of a stressful time because
this at this stage while I'm recording right now, I'm like,
we have nobody and Alan has to work.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
I can't cancel my movie, you know. So it's like
written into the script literally like Okay, all of a sudden,
now I'm a mom in the movie.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Like she has to go, but like, what are we
going to do?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
He's got clinics and now he's he got a new
job doing something else that I can't shaw you up
very excited, like very excited about for him, and so
we're just like, you know, we've got a really great
two sitters that kind of helped us when he was younger,
so they've been helping out. But they don't want to
do full time. They don't want to do thirty hours,
and I need at least thirty So we're just kind
(07:01):
of figure piecing it together right now and trying to
figure it out. And we were meeting with uh someone
actually today and you know, she the girl was like,
do you have any you know, any requirements. I'm like, well,
as long as you don't do and then she's like, whoa,
She's like definitely not.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
I'm like, well, then we're good. Yeah, bar is actually
real low rite.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Now, what about frustrating the one that you almost hired
that wanted more time to take another job?
Speaker 4 (07:27):
Probably I don't want full time?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Well you just said full time you needed for thirty hours, okay,
so not like forty hours, yeah, thirty hours because.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I like to have my day. I like to have
one or two days with it, you know what I mean,
day and a half of them. So during the week
because I don't really I don't need every day, right,
So yeah, we're we're back to this conversation guys that
we've had.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
That's all it's on in my life.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
So you know, I feel like you just left for
the movie. You're like back and you literally went for
a day.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
It was so much fun. We were at the Keenland Races.
It was so awesome. But then I leave back to
go to Kentucky because I wanted to go to Yeah,
pretty much, I wanted to go to the Hope Grows
event last night for our therapy center.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
You were supposed to be there. By the way, who
has my Hope Award? Do you have it? I don't
have her. I definitely don't have it because I wasn't there.
So last year we should catch them up.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
So last year the podcast as a whole received We
received the Hope Award, which is people that are doing
work in the community talking about mental health, and our
podcast was Us Girls. We were the Hope Award winners
along with Jason Waller for his work that he's done
around mental health. And so I wasn't able to be
(08:37):
there because I was shooting gas lip by my husband,
and so I sent in a video. You girls accepted
the award and that is the speech. So this one
was next year, we were passing on the Hope Award.
It's our job to go up and present it to
the next recipient. And person is very upset with me.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
I was gonna say, how to go?
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I thought to agree. I want to just repeat it was
our job to go. Okay, this is okay. We needed you.
I even looked at your last night. You wouldn't have
said anything Splitsville with me.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
I did have to last year, and I really wanted
to puke you split well. I had to say something.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Yeah, I did say something accepting an award for sure,
this is different.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
All I remember is my rings going to target last year.
I don't know that's right.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I do need you to.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Really put on your objective lens. When Kramer tells you
her version.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
You're putting me in the middle. Okay, tell me what happened?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Wait, wait, can I hear let's let's let's start with
one version in the other version, where do we start?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
We had no what what from my knowledge of it is,
did you know the rundown of the show?
Speaker 4 (09:47):
They did email us out? Okay, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I've been trying to study an entire script.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
No, this isn't me throwing you under.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
The bus, because I also had to search award in
my email and like cram for the test yesterday. Once
they said they wanted us at five, I was like, okay,
I need like a grip on this night, Like I
that's where I'm at.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
I didn't even know the location.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Yeah, same, I was like, is this the Rolling Hills
Church in Franklin or in Nolan'sville?
Speaker 4 (10:12):
You know?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
But also and I just I just knew that we
were giving me award to the Next Hope Award winner,
So we didn't know. Even Jason Waller calls me. I
was in Keenland at the races and Jason's got calling
and we were in a break and like hey buddy,
He's like, hey, so what are we doing?
Speaker 4 (10:27):
And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, oh,
for the for the Hope Wars.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Like, I don't know, probably just gonna say like and
the next people are or whatever. Because last year Amy
did the rundown of everybody, right, so I thought she
was going to do the rundown again. They'll probably go back,
She'll probably go back like again, nobody really told us
anything until last second, so we just kind of thought
(10:51):
we were all going to be up there. But then
when we got there and we were trying to figure
out what we're going to say, and I'm like, she's funny.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
You just go with it.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Oh, y'all had to come up with something to say.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
But we didn't know because we didn't know they send
us her bio to learn about her, and I thought
they just sent it so that we could like know what,
like the capacity.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
In which and why she's nominated.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Right.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I also was I misunderstood and thought Jason was also
presenting to our person name, but then we found out
he's like, oh, no, I'm just I'm I guess I'm
just presenting to Ben Zobrist, who was a base former
professional baseball player and he's doing a lot of stuff
around mental health as well. He's got a foundation, and
so he he's like, yeah, I'm just reading his thing,
and we're like, oh, okay, we didn't know. We didn't
(11:31):
know the timing, we didn't know when to go up.
I mean, it was like we had no literally no idea,
and so Christen's like, you know, do you want to
take the second part? I was like, no, just you
just read the whole thing, like it's two paragraphs, like
you got it. Because in my mind, when I watch
presentations and you're at this point of the program, it's
it's a it's worth.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
It's least, it's ish, it's long, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Right, And so someone hasn't and then someone moves the
mic to them, to them, you know, and it's like
to me when I watch those things, I'm like, just
send one representative, like just you know, unless it's something
they want to share, a meaningful story, fine, whatever, but
like just send the one person.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
So I'm like I'll be up there on.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
The stage with you, so like you already know the
like the first part of it, like just just read
both of it because like then for me to walk
up or like for me to like and I didn't
memorize it, by the way, I was just going to
read that course like there's no yeah, but I'm saying that.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I would have had a panic attack if I got
there and was told that we should to say more than.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I Yeah, just read the thing, and I'm like it's
just like for for you just to read one and
then for me to come in. It's just to me
just felt kind of chunky and like chopped. So I
just read the whole thing just because it's you know,
I said, then you read the whole thing because it's
your podcast. But no, it was not me though we
all got the award. That was my point. I'm like,
it's not just and like that. That's the thing. I'm like, yes,
(12:46):
I understand, it's it's not just my pos like, it's ours,
Like you guys are you know on it too? You
also got the award. It's not just me that got
the award. You got the award last year. You got
the award last year. So I'm like, and I don't
always want to be front center, especially in those kind
of things that you should like, you should be the
you know whatever. I also hate speaking in Then.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
I'd do one thing real fast.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, this same I was gonna like the only one
that got the award, your name on the award.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
We actually so there's that.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I don't even it's it's in Catherine's car somewhere under
a seat, So why go through me? And they have
given you the award and not I don't remember, Yeah,
they definitely regardless, I don't know who they gave it.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
It wasn't like they didn't really Amy just kind of
called us all up together. So it's just was like weird,
Like it was just weird, like I didn't know the
run of it, wasn't organized in that piece of.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
It actually say real fast, I even remember last year
not having a clue when we even went up, yeah,
or like how we got up.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
And it or like a little bit even more I
could this year, like to the point where like Jason
introduces Ben and Ben stay seated and then Jason assos it.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
I thought he was coming. So that's why I was like,
that's where I just like froze.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
I'm like, I phrase, and so then Jason's like ladies,
and I was like, oh okay, Like but to have
someone talk about you publicly and you just sit there
and wait your turn. And then we talked about the
other one publicly and then they both came up.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
No, we didn't need to wait, so did Janna?
Speaker 3 (14:24):
So you went up?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I thought you said you did. You said went up, Sorry, okay,
I'm following.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
She still thought. Then didn't go up.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeh. Janna's so like Jana's wedding rested behind you and
you talked got us. I'm there, yeah, no, no, no, I'm
just setting one representative. Okay, so you said, so I
even thought I'll ask. I was like, I bet sports Alan,
you know, like coach Allen. I thought if I could
just get in super striker mode if I was like, hey,
you know, does Alan know that you're not talking all
up there?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
You know? And she was like and I tapped on
alan shoulder. I was like, is she's not going to talk?
And he's like he whispers her a year.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
They laughed.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
She's like, yeah, I'm still not talking. I'm like, okay,
I and she kept going, but I'm in the award.
I was like, I was like, I'm the one giving
the award, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Like that like that was like, actually I didn't.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
See the point of And I asked Alan after He's
like it's like either way.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
He's like, you know, so.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I said, I'm just reading it. You go read it.
I just I'll stand there and hold the award. Didn't
do it anyways. I called myself the sacrificial lamb. I
was like, here we go, I'm back up there. And
I was spicy coming in cat oh was She's spicy.
She was spicy. I said, the irony that I'm on
the verge of a mental breakdown going to a mental
health advocacy program is like not lost, Tony. I was spicy,
(15:42):
and I wanted to be in this like holy place
where everyone was like really getting emotional, and I just was,
I don't know, I don't know what's happened. If I'm
being so honest though, like I know my face is
right here, but I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
To make it about it, I know you don't, So
that is why if.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I'm being honest, I was like, I want you to
have your moment to like and I'm there, I'm there.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Let me see what I'm also saying preface this by
you don't necessarily want it that way.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
It's just the reality. It just is.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
I know you don't want it that way. You even
send us things like hey girl, like we I know that, Like,
I know you don't want it that way. We actually
the least artist artist. I know you want it so
much to be us three that's just not always the reality, which.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
You know I'm good with. I'm not like complaining about.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
But the honest to God's truth is the reality of
your face is the one. You're the one that brings
in because you have the following. So that's just the reality.
I know you don't like it that way. You would
love for us all. You would literally bring anyone into
your to want that. Like, let me be clear. So
when I say that, I don't mean it in that way.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
I know you don't want it that way. It's just
kind of the reality of what it is.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
But in like that night, I'm like, let's say, but
I hear your like for that, I get that, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Yeah, the reading loud, for the read aloud.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
I'm like, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
You're just so good with your words. I'm not great
in that space when it's when I don't really know
what I'm saying, like you're you like, even if the
last thing you said was so well said, I'm like,
I couldn't said that. I'd have been like, here your word.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I mean, I honestly like, I hate talking on stage.
Janna really doesn't like it either, go figure, you know.
I mean, like she's the artist, but she doesn't like it.
She doesn't enjoy it either. It makes her uncomfortable. And
so I do think to a fault sometimes again, I
wasn't there, so I'm not, but like you know, I
fall back on you, like, man, Kristen's so good at this,
She's so great. It's like such a strength of yours
(17:37):
that I do think that it can If I were
there one hundred percent, I would have been like, oh,
christ I's got this, and it's in a positive way.
It's like you're just so good at this, and I'm
so uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
I think I thought good at this.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I'm sorry the unsturdy coming in for sure, Like you
know that feeling where you're just like could cry at
any moment, absolutely, like right.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Now, well, and those things are going to happen. We're
going to be in bad places and the things are
going to happen. But I want you to see that
I believe if I were there, that this intention was
is that you're just so good at this, And I
did feel that way out like this, I mean, you know,
like so I do feel like I would have probably
done the same thing. Obviously, I didn't want to speak
when I had to do the award you talked for like,
(18:22):
I think we had one minute and I was like, great,
you've got fifty five seconds and I've got five seconds.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
And the only way that I could do it that
I felt comfortable was because I sent in a video
from from Morgantown, West Virginia, you know what I mean,
And I redid it twenty million footing time. Yeah, And
I will say I did have this moment last night
where I was like, I just need to get out
of my own way because I had the other part
about this is it wasn't like it wasn't a free
like I didn't get to go up and like say
(18:47):
much or make a joke like it didn't fit. That's
when I almost wanted to come up because I knew.
I was like I don't get to like break the
ice or make a funny joke or like you know,
like I And you know, one thing that's like really
interesting about all us, like sometimes when you're you have
a strength, then you're leaned on a lot for that strength.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
But that can feel like a lot of pressure.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
For instance, you are the obviously the face and the
glue of this podcast, and so we lean on you
because it's essentially you started this podcast. It's you know,
and that can be a lot of pressure at times.
You're really good at going on stage and talking or whatever.
But in that night, you weren't having a great night
and it felt like a lot of pressure and you
didn't want.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
That pressure down. And I'm sorry you didn't let me down.
I did.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
I should have. I should have. You really had my
own stuff aside. But I also I had those other asterisks.
I was like, no, I want her to have her moment,
and like you, I didn't take it like. I just
kept making jokes. I was like cream or just anything,
because I'm also like, it isn't my podcast, you know, like.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
And I get that feeling too, Like I was like, are.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
They just like is this gonna be? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
It was really we really just laughed a lot about it,
Like I kept sliding the phone laughing because I'm joking.
But then I was like at them when it happened
because of how awkward the the whole stuff was. I
was like, oh, she's mad. I even texted Catherine and
was like, I think that was actually mad at me. No,
I wasn't mad, Grison. Yeah, I really wasn't mad at you.
I I want to share them before, but I don't
(20:12):
want to. Well, I think that before is a really
I know, but it's dumb, but it's not dumb.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
But it's always it's like reasons why we react to things.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Again, maybe we.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Can move into wine about it.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Okay, okay, let's.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Take a break and get to wine about it. Dearest listeners.
We are now in wine about it. And there is
a good chance that I might be in my pre
minstrel cycle. And that is why this is so emotionally driven.
(20:51):
So I had a dress that I hadn't worn, and
I was like, this will be perfect for Hope grows.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
It felt like it made me feel condensed, and it
long sleeve, and I.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Just felt like like it would I felt like I
could just be myself. I didn't have to worry. You're
not wondering like if things are hanging out or tucked
in whatever. And when I tried to try it on
earlier in the week, I couldn't zip it up.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Okay, that's a little listen. I do not think I'm
a big person. I'm not.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
I just was like, oh, that's.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Disappointing, right, So I thought I'll give it a couple
of days, you know, I'll like water weight whatever, and
I'll put on spanks and I'll try again. Hope Awards day,
Well I did, and I busted the zipper trying to
put it up. So I wrote to jan I go,
what are you wearing? Because at one point her and
(21:41):
I had talked about it. I'm not laughing at it,
I know, and I busted the zip. Yeah, it was
a comedy moment.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Listen.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Also, I like pinky swear on Life Bible. I was
not mad at her last night at all. I just
was like, I don't think they're here to see me,
so I'd like that to just like get up there,
read the bio, read aloud. Anyways, So I busted the zipper.
Well that's all happening. Preston originally couldn't come with me,
which or originally he could come with me. Then he
(22:10):
booked a show, so I took my RSVP down to one,
and then I tried to add one a couple weeks
ago because I thought maybe I was assuming you and
Nick were coming her and Alan, and I'm like, maybe
I don't want to sit alone. I default two alone
always I do everything alone. So but I'm trying this
like newness kind of chapter in my life where I'm like,
(22:32):
do I do that because I want to or just
because that's like what I know. So I thought, well,
maybe I could bring like a friend like I thought
about Sarah Bryce Ashley Wilson, like I just you know,
like I was like, I'll bring up or even love
until I watched the video and it felt like the
subject matter was a little heavy. So when I tried
to add one more it was they were like, no
big deal, just let us know because we have to
shift tables around. And I'm like, well that's I said, no, no, no, no,
(22:55):
I'll fly solo. It's fine. So I bust the zipper
last night. I've already got a velcro baby stuck to
me like doesn't want me to you know, everyone's in
and out of the bathroom.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
It's totally fine. I've got it's fine.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
But I'm already like my hair doesn't feel great, Like
I'm just in a mode and I'm trying to feel
like and I keep going like this is going to
be great. Whatever I wear is going to pull together,
it's going to be fine. The busted zipper was hard
two times over because I am not wearing what I want.
And also that is a real feeling like we I
had Preston and Christine trying to zip me into this, okay.
(23:34):
So Preston says, well, I feel he was excited. He
was excited because his show got canceled and he could
get to Legends game last night because there's seventy five
things going on at once. This is my wine about it,
because I feel like I can never plan.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
Anything.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
And so he baseball game gets canceled because we're in
the middle trenchill downpour. And so he's like, maybe I
go with you five minutes before I'm heading out the door.
And I said, well, I would love that, but you
can't because the tea it's already signed, seating, there's tables,
blah blah blah. And so he didn't get to go.
So I call cranmerround the way. She's like, he should
(24:16):
just come. We'll pull up a table, you know, we'll
pull up a chair, blah blah blah. Well, no, I
he was already promised Legend you take him to the woods.
And I'm like, everything just feels so chaotic and clunky,
and I'm like, I'm doing my best to round my
A type edges and not be so like that is
my I came out with the clipboard. I'm sure I
was born with one and so I'm trying to like
(24:39):
really be flexible. I feel like I do a good
job for my personality type in our world doing that.
But at some point, I'm like, it would have been
great just to have him to hold my hand. Sure, well,
that's why I held your hand because I was holding
Alan's hands what I was gonna say, And so then
I had this momentere I was like, she's by herself,
and so I was like, I just that's when I
held your hand and they were talking about cycle breakers,
(25:01):
and like, I mean, it was really it's always powerful.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
That night is so powerful. But yeah, I just really I.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Feel like nothing stays the way it's planned, and I'm
trying to like embrace that and be more joyful. And
part of me is just being frustrated too, you know
that's fair the like Kentucky, you know, you're like, oh,
I've got a nanny, and then one hour later you
don't have a nanny, and it's just like, at some
point it just feels like, I don't know. The funny
(25:31):
piece of that was when we called Preston. We're like,
come on, Preston, and he's like, I wasn't invited, and
I was like.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
The funnier pieces.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
We hung up with Preston and we run right into
a couple's therapists and I was like, yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
Should have kept you on the phone for five more minutes.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
That was funny because our couple of therapists obviously was
you know, it's at the same therapy center. And so
she's like, you know, do you want me to address
you if I see you at the event, And I'm like, oh, yeah,
I don't care, Like I'm very free about talking. We
actually just talked about a couple of therapy that we go
on our last adult education episode. And so while we
were walking in her and her husband when it was
(26:05):
like this same time, and I'm like, this is our
couples therapist was a mess.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Anyways, I'm just you know, it's just.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
The dominoes of like and then you know, you're going
up on stage, you're su're not You're still not sure
what you're gonna say, and so I'm coming in not feeling.
I had like two hard boiled eggs for dinner, like
cause I'm you know, trying to make everybody feel good
before I leave. It's just that feeling. And then you
get there and you're supposed to be this like stoic,
well spoken, maybe even funny person, and I just was like,
I don't feel like this, like I want to weep
(26:34):
in a chair and eat this dessert. Actually, so that
was that I've hijacked it. Well, I'm sorry that I
didn't show it for you better as a friend, and
that no, you couldn't have known. And I couldn't talk
about much of it on my way there because I
knew if I did, I.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Would just cry.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
And I was like, I have fresh makeup on. I
just need to take a deep breath and remember Jesus's
hands on my shoulders. That's what I always picture. He
stands behind me with his hands on my shoulders and
I can take a deep breath. And so I was
just trying to get in that place. And then it
got even more clunky up at the podium, and the
podium is see through.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Yeah, you know, it's not like.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
You can hide behind it.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Even so you're like you use that as like a yeah,
and all of a sudden, I mean I have hives
thinking about it. So yeah, it's like a win to
you do your soul and they're up there and yeah,
no chance for the Icebreaker.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
It just was not my Well, are you having a
better day today? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Good? Yeah, And I'm getting up and working out every
morning because I know that helps with this feeling that
I'm having. Sure, the zipping up dress is feeling and
also the anxiety. Right, yeah, I'm just in a season.
It's really fine. I'm sure you know, Creamer really thinks up.
I promise I was not. I just kept thinking, they
want to see you, they don't want to see me.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
That's the feeling.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
So I didn't want to be the one that was
talking because oh and see, I want to give that too,
you know what.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
And that's always going to be a feeling that we'll
probably always kind of have around, you know.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
I mean, and it's just listen, I want you, I
want that.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
I so bad this show. I try. I try. I
say things all the time what Gathered says. Except for
a few people on the social media.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
I care, and I would like to have them quote you,
not me.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
But it's fine. I like not having that yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah, yeah, oh god, what are the things I would
say if I didn't care?
Speaker 1 (28:27):
That's what I'm saying. It is, That's what I'm saying.
I feel like being able to have that. I mean,
I definitely will have people send me stuff, but like
you know, it's not that big of a deal speaking
of this isn't a wine down, but this is like
a positive thing. A whine about it, but a positive thing.
From what we talked about last week. I think it
was last week we talked about we should do we
(28:49):
should have a positive I want to That was my
thought today when I was getting ready, because I was
trying to think about if I had any wine about
it and wines about it, and I was like, you know,
I've got like the same old like you know whatever,
but I really don't have anything. And I was thinking,
we if we don't, I think it's a good thing
to go, Hey, we don't have a whine about it.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Let's let's talk about some positive stuff. Anyway.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
All that to say, when we talked about filling in
the blanks, I think it was last week. I had
this sweet follower that we will go back and forth
a lot on social media about different things and we'll
like debate stuff or whatever, and she's so super super sweet. Well,
she had sent me something like last week or something,
and I was just in really busy mode with the kids,
(29:30):
and I remembered getting it, but it was like a video.
I didn't watch it whatever, and I didn't respond, so
she listened to the podcast. I guess it would have
been this on Monday, okay, because she sends me a
message and she was like, I'm just going to send
this to you because I was just listening about filling
in the blanks and I wanted to tell you that
I'm filling in the blanks right now. With you not responding,
I feel like I offended you. And if that's the case,
(29:53):
like I'm so sorry, blah blah blah blah blah, but
like we usually talk about this and you always respond. Anyway,
it was just this really sweet message. I was like,
I'm so glad you sent me that. Yeah, because like
good for you, because I was literally just busy, haven't
even looked at the video, yeah, just not in a place.
And she was like, oh my gosh, I feel so
much better.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
It was just a really positive note that I was like,
maybe she would have done that before, but I don't
think she would have. I think it really helped her
to say just tell me, like, I'm filling in the
blanks here, and it makes me not feel good, like
she was worried about it.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Well, that's really sweet because I had to block like
five more people from the last episode. You're ugly, that
dress looks terrible on you.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Wait, what dress? What are we talking about?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
When when I had to did my Amazon, I posted
a reel of some of the dresses and I'll, you know,
go to my requests and you see my dms, and
there was a couple like, you're you look disgusting, the
dress looks terrible on you. And then one I responded
to and I was just like, well, I'm really glad
you don't have to wear it, like have a blessed day. Yeah,
(30:54):
And the other is I just I just straight blocked.
So but I'm like, well, I'm sorry, that's just yeah,
I'm really happy that you have.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Well, I mean, I definitely got the you know, attacts
last week, but I just thought that that was a positive.
But she took it, she listened, and then it it
kind of enabled her just or whatever, like gave her.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Absolutely. I love that. I love that.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Brittany Cartwright claims ex Jax Taylor has never scheduled an
appointment for their four year old son, Cruise, so she's
opened up about her estranged husband, Jack's Brittany is on
the valley, and she said that, you know, he wants
to be a great dad. He is a great dad,
but he's never scheduled an appointment, never hired a therapist,
never hired a school, you know, nothing like that. So
(31:38):
there's a difference. So every now and then, I feel
like I want him to be in his school and
he's like, well, maybe he should be in this type
of school.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
I'm like, well, you haven't done anything, you know. She said.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
It's a bit annoying and can make co parenting harder
because she feels like she's getting the heavyweight, and if
we disagree on something, it agitates me because I'm the
one that has to do all the research. Not that
all dads are like that. Some dads are hands on
and everything. I do feel like there's a difference in
moms uh and dads for the most part.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
I mean, I.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Gotta be honest, Well, I feel like whether you're married
or co parenting, I mean, even when I was married
to Mike, he never made one doctor's appointment, and now
married to Alan, like, he's not made one doctor's appointment
for Roman, I make and I don't have a problem
like that, And I just know now that's my response, like,
that's just what falls on the moms to do.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
If I asked Nick to call the doctor if someone
needed to go, he absolutely would, but he would say
who is their doctor? Yes, without a doubt, he would
have no clue. He would do it, but he doesn't know.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah, same, and I will say what I've done now
with And this is my only advice, maybe to Brittany,
is because I don't want to have to do all
of it with my co parent with Mike. So I
don't like the dentist. We all know that I've talked
about not liking the dentist. He is in charge of
making dentists appointments for the kids.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
I don't want. I just don't want to do it.
I don't want to take them.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
I don't want to go, like I don't want I
take them to do all their other appointments.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
That is his.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
That's smart.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
So I'm like, you get the dentist. So like even
I saw he he scheduled them on two different days
and I said, I need you to can you please
reschedule those two because the last week of school and
we have them at the same time, and I don't
want to take them both days, you know, because those
are now on my day. So he normally so yeah,
like ninety nine percent of the time and he is
(33:24):
scheduling and taking the kids. I actually taken them a
few times, but it's like that I want you that
is for your day, and I like that takes I
literally have to I have to ask him, though obviously
you do it.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
But I mean I think that's okay. I don't know,
I don't.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
People might disagree with me, but it's not that it's
a mom's job, but it's just kind.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Of kind of is kind of is I guess is
there's probably something else there, Like I don't know that
it's about scheduling appointment.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Here's the other thing I was going to say.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Like it's just the low hanging fruit to be like
and I do this, you know, like I feel like
there's so much weight on us there. I mean, there's
studies that come out with the amount of schedules that
we hold in our brain and everything that's on a
mom's played specifically in this like in a twenty twenty
five mom is like another job and a half.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Right, But what I was gonna say, is the comment
he makes about the school.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Now, that would bother.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
Me if you don't like she said, he makes comments
about maybe he should be in a different school.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
I think it's a heat.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, now that's where I would go and do the research. Okay,
then do the research and what kind of school do
you think that they should be in? And let's talk
about that that I feel like maybe because that would
bother me, Like if you don't like the doctor, then
do some research and find your own doctor, you know,
or if you don't like so I feel like maybe
that's something that's getting to her.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yeah, And I feel like again, it's just kind of
I mean, even with you know, Jolie's dyslexy talking emailing
school and I actually like because I know it's it's
getting done and I don't have to ask, hey did
you do Hey did you call and make the eighteen
month appointment? Or hey, you know when we actually we
got in a waiting list and we we're in now
the new pediatric place. So you know, those are things
(35:03):
that I don't want to have to ask because it
might not be as its appointments aren't important to them,
but they've got other things they're doing, so I just
it's you know, we can, we can do it. And
but when it comes to the co parenting, that's when
I'm like, hey, can you handle this piece? Yeah, and
I'll handle the rest. I also love feeling connected. So
when I'm making the appointments and I'm in charge of
(35:24):
all this, like that makes me feel connected to Like
I don't want to have to tune in or catch
up on that.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Kind of I want to say.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
I mean, yes, the controlling part of me is not
I'm sorry, this is gonna get but like I don't
want my husband picking the doctor and yeah, the dentist
and where they're going to school. Like I want to
make that decision. And I think dads know that they
know that the moms want to make that decision. I
think they'd be more willing to more than willing.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
To help if you asked. Yeah, but like moms want
to decide where their kids are going.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Well, that's the thing too, Like even when we talk
about the vaccination stuff, like I know, at the end
of the day, Alan has his definite input, but it's
going to to most likely come to But having said that,
we know we there's something else with Roman that I
leaned very heavily on his opinion, and we ended up
going with his opinion on it because it's a male part.
Speaker 4 (36:11):
So you know what I mean, Like there are things where.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
That's his choice, you know, to have that mm hm
you know, yeah, do that whatever. Yeah, maybe, well I
think it's like what you're passionate about. Yeah, Like Preston knows,
I'm passionate about the schooling, the doctor, like all of
that piece. And he trusts me because I am passionate.
I do learn more than like he would want to learn.
And he's like, no, you've got it. And I don't
(36:36):
think it makes them. It doesn't make Mike a bad
dad that he doesn't do the school emails or the
doctor's appointments or and it doesn't make Alan a bad day.
It doesn't make them a not hands on dad. Like
Alan is incredibly hands on, he just doesn't deal with
the logistics of the schooling or the preschools or the whatever.
Like for example, with this movie, I said to him,
(36:58):
with the our girls that we've used when Roman was
little a part time, it's like, can you please text her?
Because I don't want to be the middleman with scheduling.
I don't know what you need, so those things, like
you know, they're gonna have to take over. But SAIDs
that doctors. Woman's doesn't make them ad a bad person
or a bad parent for not doing that.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I do. Mom shares her clever ruse for getting kids
to eat her homemade food. When your kids get picky
about dinner, just order takeout.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
It's such a fun thing.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Alex McLaren, who cooks homemade meals and serves them to
her unsuspecting children in restaurant takeout containers. Oh that's so interesting.
So she puts her food in takeout containers. That's funny
as presentation matters. I learned this early on.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Yeah, but aren't people gonna order? Aren't they going to
order different things? If it's takeout? Like my kids would
and order all the same things.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Yours couldn't probably be duped either though at this age.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
No, that's true. But like you know what I'm saying,
I take out, all five of us aren't ordering the
same thing.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
Yeah. Oh, it's a really good point. I just cook
you guys. I'm cooking stunny.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
I feel like I'm cooking so many I'm cooking so
many foods right now, we are struggling in the dinner department.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
Oh, like I'm trying. I'm trying, but like legend is
just so picky.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
So I try to do a version of whatever I'm
making for them, but like I also just need the
kid to eat.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
So yeah, that's Caine.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
I hear what she's say.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Oh on the Southwest salads and extra and you're.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
Like, I can promise you were not all ordering the
same thing. I will say.
Speaker 4 (38:52):
I got those like little burger baskets.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Do you remember those, like little plastic oval baskets with
like the paper. Yeah, I got those for the kids
last year, and like sometimes I just do like it's
like Fridy night or whatever, and I just cuwe because
it's in a different basket, or like it feels like
they're at the diner. Or I give them a menu.
They like that too, and they check the boxes and
it's all things I was going to make anyway, So
(39:15):
it just makes them feel Joel is.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
Really big on hibachi right now.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
I love a lot.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
I have a Blackstone. I don't even know what hibachi is.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Oh my gosh, I love habachi.
Speaker 4 (39:24):
What is there after? Like rice?
Speaker 1 (39:26):
And chicken and the big hibachi grill you know, like
toss away though. Remember, well, yeah, you're not going to
do well with hibachi, but you just started that. How
did you not know hubachi before forty years? I've never
really eaten them, you know where they go in the fire. Yeah,
and they're like tossing onions and shrimp in the cat's.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Mouth and so fun.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah. I know I've been to one, but it was
Benny on Us maybe maybe yeah, is that about you
think that sounds like it?
Speaker 4 (39:51):
Well, Joelie is like like, hawa, No, I.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Mean you're not going to eat well, you get, but
I would love to another time because I I love
about you and I need a good one around here
because ours closed.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Okay, yeah, let's do that.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Internet reacts to learning Oscar voters didn't have to watch
all nominated movies until now.
Speaker 4 (40:11):
So, uh, that's crazy. Well, all award shows are really fair?
Well that's what I basically was going to say.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
I would love to find an award show that was
actually fair and not vote not traded votes.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
I'm assuming oscars are the same with all that I
know nothing about, like the acting, Yeah, I'm assuming pretty much.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
So until this year.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
They didn't have to watch the films to vote. From
what I'm seeing, I.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Mean, it's not like we have to listen to the
albums to vote.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
Well, you know, I'm passionate. Anything else you want to say,
they're cat Wow, I'll vote for you.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Hello, wind down, ladies, serious listener. I need advice, friends, therapy, drinks.
I need help give it. Around my entire marriage twenty nine
plus years less, I always had a hunch that my
husband was cheating on me. This started from the very beginning,
but I never caught him, and he would always have
a great reason to why I felt that way, usually
(41:10):
paranoia on my side. Oh the gaslighting that was additional
for me.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
Sorry.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Fast forward to December twenty twenty three, and one of
these women reached out to me, telling me that he
needed to be stopped and he was with someone else
at that moment. Oh, there is so much I could say,
but I will try to keep this as short as possible.
After a few days of him saying he was sorry,
admitting to sleeping with all the women I had a
(41:35):
hunch on, I decided I had to give him a
chance to prove himself. Fast forward to September twenty twenty four,
and I'd finally had my limit. Anytime that I was
not at home, whether it was doing things with family, friends,
or traveling for work, he would never stay home. On
that evening last September, he was on his way home
from having beers after work. I told him that I
(41:55):
was not feeling he was being honest, and his response was,
it's been ten months, just give it up already. I
then made a comment about him being with other women.
I may have used a few not so nice adjectives,
and his response beggars can't be choosers. The next day,
I texted him and asked him to leave. I wasn't home,
(42:15):
as I knew if I would have been, I would
never have gone through with it. He texted me and said,
are you sure you want me to leave? I replied Yestember.
From September to December of this past year, he never apologized,
never took on ability, and always stated that it is
best to proceed with divorce. We are now divorced as
of Christmas Eve, and he has already moved on. But
(42:38):
I'm having so many issues. Why is he choosing only
one person to be with? Now? Was I the problem?
I know that it's not true, but it's hard to
not feel that way.
Speaker 4 (42:47):
Jana.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I know you've gone through this. You gave your ex
multiple chances and they don't change. I know that I
don't want the man he is today, but why can't
I get him off my mind in the fantasy that
he could be the man I want, in need and
deserve him to be.
Speaker 4 (43:00):
Advice you can give, We will let you take this on.
You guys don't want say anything.
Speaker 3 (43:06):
Like you'll give the best advice here.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
Well, I really just want to read direct her to
ghastly by my husband because I kept thinking of the
entire time, I'm like, this is crazy. I just wish
we could trust our intuition more as women. I think
we always know when we know, and I hate that,
like your gut always knows, we just know. It's why
(43:29):
God designs us to have this intuition and discernment.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
It just sounds like she did know, and she does know,
and she.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
I'm so wildly proud of this person for getting her
foot down and not living the same groundhog's day over
and over again, because I remember when I would go
into essenon meetings and it was for sex addicts. You
know wives or partners that have been with someone that
was a sex addict, and I'd hear these stories and
I mean it was years and years and years. These
(43:59):
women are in their fifty sixties, seventies. One woman was
in her late seventies and she's like, my husband did
it again. And I'm like I cannot be and oh
my god. You know what I mean, Like I don't
want to live that cycle for the rest of my life.
Like this person is not stopping. I have to get out.
So I mean, props to this listener who got out.
And I think one of the hardest pieces is that
(44:20):
either the woman is going to get the changed man.
And why didn't the man change for me?
Speaker 4 (44:26):
Was I?
Speaker 2 (44:26):
And that's I mean I struggled year, like for years
with that, like why was I not good enough for
him to change? Why wasn't I you know, I was
the mother of his children. Why didn't he change for me?
But I think speaking, I'm just going to speak about
your ex husband. If he hasn't taken accountability, he hasn't apologized,
he's not a changed person.
Speaker 4 (44:48):
No person.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
That has gone through healing and change doesn't come back
to hold some accountability for their past or to say hey,
I'm sorry I did this to you and owning up
to it. A person that doesn't take ownership sweeps things
underneath the rugs. They're going to continue their actions and
they're going to be this fake facade of who they are,
but that's not actually who they are. So that woman
(45:12):
is not whoever he's with or ends up with is
not actually getting the true person. They're just getting this
fake persona of who he wants to be, who he
really really wants to be, but who's actually not. So
try and rest in the fact if he hasn't taken
accountability with you, or hasn't you know that to me
(45:33):
is the first piece of he has not healed or changed,
so that you don't even have to worry because that
woman is not going to get a change man, I
promise you. And even if he did so, if that
man does come around and does take healing and accountability,
you are not the reason. Like he wasn't ready, he
wasn't able to in that moment, you know, and you
(45:54):
get to now be with someone that hasn't hurt you,
so you can kind of and it wasn't that you
weren't enough for him to change. I know I wasn't.
I was plenty enough for Mike. He wasn't. He didn't
love himself enough to be the best version of himself.
It wasn't about me. So you have to detach you
and him, like you have to detach your own worth
to his stuff, because it's not the truth. He was
(46:17):
not able to be his best self because his worth
of what he believes you are worthy of a great love,
and don't put his stuff on you. Twenty nine years
is a long time.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
I would also add that if it is a possibility,
I think any separation from learning anything new about his
life is probably needed. I'm twenty nine years. I'm sure
there's some children involved. Maybe not, But I think when
you're trying to heal from something and more than the
loss of someone that's still alive, when they continue to
like when you continue to know information. I remember even
people sending things about my ex to me, and I
(46:54):
just was like, I'm you know, like I'm good. I
don't need to know that information. I feel like I'm
doing my own thing. I've got my own own stuff
I'm working on or whatever. But to continue to get
updates is always like a little like that doesn't help
the process well.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
And just to see that he's with one woman now,
you don't know that, right, You have no idea he's
with woman. And I've said that about other relationships in
the past, like you have no im I look like
they're with one person now.
Speaker 4 (47:17):
Yeah, but he did a good job at twenty nine
years of looking like he's with you.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
But I also think sometimes, especially that long, so like
if he does become this healed version of himself and he,
you know, he changes, I think sometimes if that were
to happen in a marriage where that happens so much, like,
how would that even really work? Like how do you
ever fully trust? You know, like, even if he does
heal and you're still in your marriage and he's a
(47:41):
completely changed man. I know a woman that's been hit
that many times with that, that's going to be really
hard for them to trust. And is he going to
be able to be the healed version that he really
needs to be? Is she going to be the version?
Speaker 4 (47:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
I have a hard time seeing that sometimes, and I
know it's possible, but I think that that would be
hard and maybe it does mean that they have to
be separate too, for him to be able to find
that healed version.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Yeah, I mean, just like with Mike, he'd always be
like there was he realized, He's like at the end,
like there would have never been any he would have
never stopped. And he even admitted that He's like, I
would have never stopped cheating because I was always in
a hole with you. I was always one down. I
was always like underground. He's like, I couldn't climb. I
was so down in the hole. There was no climbing
out of that hole. So you're just going to keep
(48:23):
repeating a pattern his are It just obviously obviously kept happening.
So with him, it's like he had to we had
to not be with each other to do our own healing.
And like, I hope he doesn't cheat on his new girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (48:35):
I hope.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
And it's not because I'm not good enough that he
didn't change for me. So we just couldn't change together
because I changed so much to post him and had
my own healing that I needed to do years before
Mike that I never got to do. So like, and
I'm a way better person now than I ever was
with Mike, you know, So he got like, so Alan's
getting a changed person. Yeah, and like I hope that
(48:57):
this new girl that he has is getting the change person.
Speaker 4 (49:00):
And too.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
It's better for our kids, better for ourselves, and we
want those people. But it doesn't. Don't take it away
from your own worth. Yeah, that you weren't worth changing for.
It's just some guys just can't get out of their
own shame to do the right thing each time.
Speaker 4 (49:14):
Yeah, No, ownership not hot. Let her have him.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Also, we love you a lot, come hang out with
so much ladies. See you when I get back from Kentucky. Actually,
I'll see you on zooms. It's like, wait, we're going
to be doing zooms.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
Love you, love you see it?
Speaker 4 (49:31):
Hibachi? Yes, can I have a non Sey version?
Speaker 3 (49:37):
Were good?
Speaker 4 (49:37):
But yeah, check check out.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
Hello goodbye, Hello bye
Host
Jana Kramer
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