September 17, 2025 • 35 mins
Jana is learning the truth behind The Biggest Loser when she talks to Tracey Yukich from season 8.
Tracey is part of the new documentary “Fit for TV: The Reality of The Biggest Loser” and she explains while she was considered the “villain” of the show.
Plus, Tracey tells a story from her time on the show that not many people know about, but completely changed the course of her life.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Jana Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
All Right, today's special guests. We've got Tracy Yukchen. She
competed on season eight of the Biggest Loser in two
thousand and nine. She's on the docu series Fit for TV.
It's so good. So let's get her on.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hi. Hi, Hi, how are you?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I'm good? I see you.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Nice to meet you too. My name is Jana.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Hi, Janna.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
So I am so excited to talk to you because
little known fact about me. I was a huge Biggest
Loser fan, Like I mean so huge that I went
to a live taping when I was living in Los Angeles. Wow, yeah,
it was. It was something, and I watched every single season.
I knew all the contestants. And so when this docu
(00:49):
series came out, I mean I was like talking to
my husband like, honey, we need to watch this. It's
Biggest Loser. He knew like nothing about the show because
he was overseas and so yeah, so I obviously remember
your story very well.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
For the listeners that are listening.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
When you got the call, was there any piece of
you that was hesitant to do the docuseriies to have
to kind of relive the stuff that you went through,
or was it something where you're like grateful for the
opportunity to be able to kind of tell the story
in your words as opposed to what we saw on TV.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah. Actually I said no a couple of times when
it came to doing the documentary when they had reached
out to me. A producer reached out to me on
I think it was Instagram or Facebook, and I would
always get like these little messages from people, and you
never knew if it was real or not, and I
would like dig a little bit and tind to find
out who was that you was this. I immediately had
this like outpouring of anxiety, and I did an interview
(01:48):
with them on Zoom just have a couple of conversations,
and that lasted a couple of times because I was
so unsure as to whether or not I really wanted
to go back and do and do an interview and
even talk about my time when I was there. And
I was also nervous because I didn't know what is
the edit going to be like because of what happened
to me when I was on the show. So no,
I said no a couple of times, and it was
(02:12):
actually really hard to stay in that space and actually
go for the interview. Even when I flew to California
to film, I still hadn't signed the contract. Oh wow,
they still flew me there. No. My husband's like, you
did not sign the contractor are you sure we're getting
on a plane tomorrow. I'm like, oh, yeah, we're getting
on a plane. And I'm like, I just need to
be there and I need to like feel this before
(02:34):
I can actually say I can go through it.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
This And once you were there, then it felt safe
and yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I was in hair and makeup getting my hair and
makeup done and the producer comes over. He goes, you know,
we have to do this right, and I'm like yeah.
He goes, are you ready? Because this like we're committed.
Are you ready to do this? And I actually went
outside for a little bit and I had like a
couple of tears, touched my husband signed it and we
were done.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
There's so much your story that I because I watched
it when I was in my I mean early twenties,
I think was when your episode came out, Because how
many years ago was it?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
It's been We'll see two thousand and nine. Was that
sixteen years?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Okay, so yeah, I was in my twenties and I
and I at the time, you know, had different life experiences,
and I didn't remember pieces of your story. Now, you know,
relating to a lot of what you were going through
during that time, you know, just made me have so
much more empathy for you. But I remember obviously your
(03:36):
I don't know, want to say character, but your storyline
so much because you know, the first challenge, you literally
almost died because they had you guys run Was it
a mile? It was a mile at that time? Before
that mile run? How long do you think you did
you work out before at all? Or was there any
like how how long have you ever run before that moment?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Probably in high school when I was like saw ball
or you know, ice to twelve aton and you know,
on the field on the football field. So sure it
had been let's see, I don't even know how my
oldest daughter was. I think she was like twelve at
the time. It's been like probably twelve or fifteen years years.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, it's just I think what I'm struggling the most
with when I watch back the docuseries and then you know,
remembering your storyline with it all was I don't understand
how you became to be this like villain character or
the one that people didn't like, because I'm like, it's
(04:36):
not like you gave up on the first challenge. You
literally crawled to the finish line, almost died. So I
mean you said you were your body was what floating
I got? Didn't you get metavacked up into the helicopter? Yes?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Yes, and then you came back, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Like, that's the thing where I'm like, as I'm watching
it and I still Tracy, there's a piece of me
that's Bill doesn't understand, even in the docu series, why
you were why people had this issue with you.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I guess I don't.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
I don't understand because I'm like, she didn't quit, she
came back when the doctor said she probably shouldn't, and
she's there and she stayed eight plus week. So I'm like,
I don't, like, I don't understand why still to this day,
they edited they edited.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
You that way, they edited me so hard.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
But why though I don't understand, I don't have an.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Answer to that. I wanted to go to the after party.
Doctor heizinga had an after party at his home and
the Netflix people were there and the producers were there
from the show, and I couldn't go because I was
moving my daughter into college. But Janna, I'm gonna be
honest with you, my entire purpose of wanting to go
to that party for one to see doctor h I mean,
why not. But I wanted to be face to face
(05:51):
with the producers and I wanted to ask that very question.
And I still want to ask that question. And I'm
going to see them because he's going to have another
party and I'm going to go. But I really don't
know why other than there was nothing else going on
for them to be able to edit. And then I
also thought to myself, I'm like, maybe they thought I
was going to win, and then it would have been
(06:13):
easy to make me the bad person and then like
bring me up in a different way. I really have
no idea.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I really don't know, because even in the challenges after
that race, I mean, there were certain things right you
couldn't do because you had the was it the heart condition?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
So what happened on the show was I I was overheated,
and it went from heat exhaustion to heat stroke to wrapdomilosis,
and it's where your body can't cool itself down, so
it's like you have hypothermia. So I ran one hundred
and for temperature when they you know, when I was
in the hospital, I was running very high temperature to
where my brain hurts so bad while I was in
(06:50):
the hospital. And your muscles release CPK. So if you
do lunges today right now, and you do like twenty,
you probably got to be sore tomorrow. If you're not
used to doing lunges. That muscle soreness is the release
of CPK in your muscles. That's what that is. Mine
gave out toxic amounts of CBKA and it just flooded
my organs. So I was on the heart patient floor
(07:12):
while I was at the hospital because that was the
last straw. I mean when I tell you that I
almost died, I'm dead serious for sure.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
But I think when you go back to the edit,
I think that the edit was I played, I played hard.
I played to stay and I told everybody it wasn't
a secret. The producers knew, so did the cast members.
I'm like, I am going to play to stay here.
I have nothing to lose.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Why not, right, so there's nothing that you can go, Okay,
I can own this piece of what I did during
this that might have pissed somebody off.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Nope, I just played right. And I think that that
that's where even Allison Sweeny and the documentary, she's like,
Tracy came back with this sassy spark because I did.
I didn't cry. I was just and they called me cutthroat,
but all I did was just you know, I was nice,
I was myself, but I just I played to stay.
(08:09):
And I think that's what's so hard for even fans
to realize and people contestant. You don't go on a
TV show and say I'm going to play the game
to stay. You don't. I went to lose weight, but
I needed an advantage, and whatever advantage I could get,
I took it immediately. I was scared someone else was
going to get it before I was. I mean, even
(08:30):
like that one time where I stepped over a line, right,
you know they were going to go up in pounds, like, oh,
you get a two pound advantage, you'll get a four
pound advantage. And I'm like, I'm not going to get
anybody another shot to even get this. I'm gonna take this.
This is mine and that's why I told myself, I'm like,
I'm going to do everything I can to stay here.
If it means I have to play and have to
be cutthroat and I have to just take care of myself,
(08:53):
then that's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, And I guess people don't like that because they.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Find it as a threat.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
So lately a threat. Yeah, they were so mad at me,
and it was a it was a very you know,
everyone's like, oh, the ranch is great, the ranch is
a great place. I was able to focus on myself,
but everyone was so angry with me. They were so.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Mad at me.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I felt really alone when I was there as well,
like big time.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I wonder if it's because they from again from perspective
looking in, outside perspective looking in, is because they rallied
around you so much on that day that they thought
that you should be maybe more grateful that they were
so kind to you that day that you almost died,
and that you owed them this like soft think you.
(09:40):
I just think you. I just aem so happy to
be here kind of vibe. Maybe that was it.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I don't know, Possibly, I don't know. I mean I
was very selfish when I was there.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
But I don't.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
But you're there because you're trying to change your life. Yes,
be selfish, that's the thing, like, that's but.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
That's not the that's not the person. That's not the
person who I am. I'm a mom, I'm a wife,
and I'm a Southern woman, so you know when you
see me coming in the room especially, and that's for
a lot of women, we're portrayed that way, like we
should just give you everything we do, just constantly give, give, give, give, give.
We have nothing for ourselves. And I knew, like I
(10:15):
live that life. And when I tell you that I died,
it's like, okay, yes, that really grave accident happened. But
the person I was before that day really did die
because I put myself first. After that in everything, I'm like,
I have to be first to take care of myself
because I don't take care of me, I'm not good
for anybody around me. That includes my children, that includes
(10:38):
my family, my husband, my friends, anybody. If I don't
take care of me first, how can I ever take
care of anybody else?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Right?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
And I just I live. I live that way to
this day.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, I really, I truly I really felt for you.
And then now hearing your story as and now you know,
I'm in my forties and I've also been through infidelity
in a marriage, ended up leaving that husband who had
multiple affairs. But I didn't connect with that piece back then.
Did you share that back in the day, Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I didn't share anything.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yeah, And so hearing that now, I'm just like instantly
connected because of that connection of having infidelity in a
marriage and knowing how that makes someone feel. And I
just I had such a soft spot in my house,
was like, oh, I just want to talk to her
because you know, do you think you would have signed
up for the show if that wouldn't have happened.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
If if that wasn't going on in my marriage? Yeah, yeah,
I think I still would have signed up for the show.
I was looking to do something for myself because I
thought it was my fault. So I felt like, Okay,
my weight is a problem. And he also told me that,
but she would tell to Tay someone else like oh no,
she's Tracy's great, but really no, behind closed doors, it
(11:57):
was not good words that were used ever, And I
just thought like, oh, if I did this for myself,
maybe it would change the way he saw me and
maybe that this wouldn't happen in my marriage.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Would you have done it though, if there wasn't infidelity
before that, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Yeah, no idea.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
It'd been going on for so long and I knew
about it, and I was also really ashamed. That's why
even on the show, I was so secretive when I
was there, and I really didn't share a lot about
myself at all. And they casted me as you know,
a wife and a mom, and I was the mom
of the show. Is really the way they casted me.
(12:47):
And if you look around at the other contestants, that's
everyone kind of has their niche as far as how
they are casted to go on the show, and I'm
sure they casted me that way. I talked nothing about
my family when I was there, for I had to
go home and I knew that and another I didn't
want to embarrass I didn't want to embarrass my family either, sure,
and so I just really kept it quiet. And the
(13:09):
only person that did know was doctor Heisinga. When I
said that, you know, I told him. I told him
a lot that day and something happened at the hospital
that day as to what really made my decision to
flip the script and actually go to the show. No
one even knows. I don't remember if I shared it
on the documentary. I mean, I can tell you if
you want to know.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Is I love to know.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I love that you told me Jana about your own
what happened in your I feel connected to you because
I know that you know how I feel, and I
know that and I know how you feel like I
as a woman, I got you, and I'm a girl's
girl all the way. I was in the hospital and
I had a phone in the hospital, and so I
was able to call my family. I called my husband's phone.
(13:53):
He did not answer. I had the password to listen
to the messages, and I heard the messages and I'm like,
I'm laying in the hospital, fighting for my life, and
this is still going on. Of course it is, because
it was going on before. Why wouldn't it still be
going on. But at the time, I felt so defeated
and I felt so hurt, and like, I'm like, this
(14:16):
is still going on, and it's okay, okay. And then
right after that is when doctor Heisinger walked in the door,
and I was a absolute mess. I felt so broken.
And he came in and he's like, what is going
on with you? And I shared and he goes, We're
gonna get rid of this phone. This phone is done.
(14:38):
I want you to pretend that you're at the ranch
right now and you don't have any contact with anybody.
We have to get you better, Tracy, and he calls
a nurse in like does a little buzzer. The nurse
comes in, takes pulls the phone right out of the socket,
called my parents. I'm like, I'm not calling anymore. My
parents had my children while I was gone, So my
kids were with my parents while I was on the show.
(14:59):
And and that was it. That was like a turning
moment for me. Yeah, I just like cut off the
outside world and I just made up my mind. I'm like,
I am going to do this. Figure this out. Get
me on that show. Call it producers, I don't care,
just get me there. I'm going to do this. And
that was a turning point.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
And even in my life, sure, no, absolutely, thank you
for sharing that. I hear you on that, and that's
it's such a pivotal moment, you know, And I think
back to there's so many pieces in this so The
first one is I remember too, when you know I
found out about the affairs, It's the first thing that
women go to when they find that out is what
is wrong with me?
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
So if I would have more worn because he would mention, well,
you wear your baggy T shirts to bet, it's not
like I want to have sex with that.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
And it's like, okay, well, so if.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I dress sexier, or if I looked more muscular, or
would he want to or it's like do I lift
my boobs from my kids?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
You know what I mean? Like will that be enough?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
And it's so sad that we go to and like,
as you did as well, if I was only skinnier
or more in shape, would he not cheat on me?
And it's like, it's so sad that women that get
cheated on go to what is wrong with us? And
that's that's such a sad and place to be. But
look what you did during that you know, you went
(16:17):
on a show and you made that decision right there.
But I also will say, too, to the possible edit
of things. I remember my ex husband was in rehab
for sex addiction while I was on Dancing with the Stars,
and there was a piece of me that I had,
you know, and like you know this too. The stress
(16:37):
in your body when you are trying to figure out
your marriage and being cheated on, you're just like a
ball of defense. But yet you're trying to do something
for yourself. So the same thing, Like when I was
on the show, I was like, I'm doing this for
myself and I'm going to be you know, be the
best version and blah blah blah, and like try to
not think about what's happening over here, and you start
to just there's all there's this. It's it's like you're
(17:01):
heardened no matter what you know. Even though you're trying
to be light, you're hard because you're having you have
all this stuff in the background and your body is
feeling all the stress. So it's really really you know, yes,
you showed up doing something for yourself, but you weren't
the Tracy that you are today. You were still in
this protective mode to protect yourself, which is why you
probably came off a little bit more feistier. Like Alison said, totally,
(17:25):
I totally.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
When I go back and I see myself then and
I see myself now, it it is just like an
evolving process. Yeah, even when I came home, like I
had to come home from the show, and then I
had to face this life of being in front of
the camera, being on television, being edited the way I
was as a villain, what people were saying about me,
(17:47):
raising my family, and then still trying to make out
like everything is okay.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, you're landing from your big reveal and you have
to hug this man that just cheated on you like
nobody knows anything.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
You're like, yay, hugs.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
But then there was some that you said in the
document series where that was pretty much the last family photo, right.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, I was. I was thinking about that that one
really is It's either that one or when I went
back to the show and did like I ran a
mile or something on the marathon route at the end,
and I remember, yeah, I think that was probably the
like next to the last photo because I remember not
wanting him to come, and then the producers were like,
I didn't tell them that, but they were like, no,
(18:25):
we need your whole family. It was about the family model,
the family this, the family that, and yeah, it was
just you just know, you know, you're like, when am
I going to Is this gonna get better? Are we
going to work on this or are we not going
to And it's like I knew, I'm like this is
this is far beyond anything that I can keep going
(18:46):
with right and it's a hard space to the end.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
It's really now you're happily married right to another lovely man.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Yay. Oh good.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
So I actually knew my husband. I dated him when
I was in college and then I ran the Boston
Marathon and he's from here and I saw him. So
because of the show, I saw him again.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
So that was Sae, there you go and you were running.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
So that's great. It was a really truly a full
circle moment. How beautiful. That's so good. So on the
ranch they talked about some things that might have not
been great for calorie counting. And you know, I've seen
Jillian's emails and the stuff that she put out about
(19:28):
what she you know, wouldn't allow that they sat on
the show people were doing. Was there anything that you
saw that you're like this, this is not healthy to
do this.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I mean I saw a lot. Yeah, I was in
the background. I was there, and I just wasn't taking
direction from them, and that's why they were so angry
with me. All my direction, I would always refer back
to doctor Heizinga. I would always refer back to the
athletic trainer, which was Sandy Crumb, who actually saved my
life on the beach that day. I just consistantly went
(20:01):
back to them. I was on a very high calorie yes,
while I was there. I was I was eating like
twenty five hundred calories while I was there, and I
was having to supplement that with some drinks that doctor
Heisinga made me drink. I drink three a day. And
it's funny because even when I was on the show,
some of the contestants like I wouldn't finish all the
drink because it was like thick and I felt like nauseous.
(20:24):
Sometimes when im drinking, you should get really mad at me,
like she's not finishing her calories. And I was just
like looking around, going really like am I your business
right now? But yes, there was very low calories happening
on the ranch. They were eating eight hundred calories, some
even less to lose weight. There was all kinds of
(20:45):
gameplay going on. I was not the only one. I mean,
they would have to speak for themselves, but sure, I know,
I know the skinny.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Are you Are you still close to anyone from the show.
I know you said to Hezenga, but like anybody else
that you're just that you still talk to trainer wise.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Or I do not have a relationship with Bob or
Jillian because I didn't have a relationship when I was
there on the show with them. I mean, if I
saw one of them, I'm sure I would say hello,
But but I don't have like that trainer person relationship
with them. And yeah, I mean I'm friends with everyone
from the show. We have a group chat, we chat
(21:22):
when we wish each other happy birthday. I'm super close
with Danny. I'm very close with Liz. You know, we text,
we make phone calls. A couple of them have reached
out to me after the documentary and really, you know,
thanks for sharing your story. I'm close with Amanda. If
you asked me, yes, I'm pretty much close with most
of them.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
What do you think you would have wanted to the
trainers to do differently for you that would have made
it to be friends today?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Nothing, I don't. I mean they I feel like I
know so much now when it comes to an exercise
and and what I've learned over the years that I mean,
they were hired to do a job, and they worked
for the biggest loser. They were there once a week,
maybe twice a week, depending on, you know, when the
(22:13):
last chants work out, when the other workouts were happening.
But I mean, they were hired to do a job.
And I don't really know if I could even answer
that question.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Janel, Right, Yeah, what why do you think? Obviously we
saw Danny and a few of the contestants and the
weight comes back on why why do you think that
fluctuation happens? Is it still the unhealed stuff or is
it truly the metabolic stuff that they spoke about.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
So there is a book coming out called Food Intelligence.
It's going to be out September twenty third, and that
is going to be a lot it's going to be
covered in that with doctor Hall. So when we when
I became a contestant on the show, we started this
study and it's about metabolic adaptation and how our bodies
respond to food and exercise. And I believe the study.
(23:08):
Doctor Heizing and I have gotten into many conversations about
this because he has a different feel about how he
feels about the study. I believe the study. I have struggled.
I have done this over the years. I've gained weight,
I've lost weight. I'm not you know what I weighed
in at finale. You know I'm not a one hundred
and twenty seven pounds, hundred and thirty two pounds. I'm
not that weight. I've tried to get back to that weight.
(23:31):
I've tried to stay there, and I can't stay there.
I've tried. My body wants to be somewhere else. I
do believe that as if you suffer from obesity and
then you get down to a smaller size, your body
is constantly fighting you to get back to where it was.
I've experienced that for myself, and it's taken me. I'm
(23:53):
still evolving, I'm still transforming. I feel like it's taken
me sixteen years to figure it out. I'm more happy
now in my life life than I've ever been happy,
and you know, emotionally in my relationship with my husband.
So I'm so happy in my mind. It's like, and
then I want my body to be happy. Do I
love my body? No? I want changes all the time.
(24:16):
Went to the gym this morning. I was beating myself
up when my trainer was having me do stuff. But
I feel good, I'm very healthy, I take care of myself.
But do I want to be back at that way? Yes,
I don't know if I'll ever be again, and I'm
constantly doing more to get there.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
So I've wondered if it's because I remember when I was,
you know, trying to get back to baby wait stuff,
it was actually about the foods as opposed to I
would run every day, beat myself up with running, and
I didn't see real change until I change my food yep.
And that's where I always wondered if that was the piece,
because like, I have a few friends that are that
have done the shots, that are doing the shots, and
(25:10):
once they're seeing results, now they're wanting to eat healthier,
but they still have the habit of having a higher
carbohydride whatever more like still you know foods that are
not very healthy. So it's like when you stop the
that then the shot, then you know the weight will
(25:32):
probably come back on because the choices of what they're
picking aren't the the healthiest options for a daily you know,
when you break down on the thing on the the food.
So I'm just curious if that is is that's also
a piece of what the book talks about.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yeah, it's gonna it's definitely going to talk about about
JLP one. And I was in the study before JLP
one even came out on the market, and I had
a placebo for a while and didn't even know. And
I'm watching all these people around me, and I'm going,
I was still the biggest loser. You should have never
given me a plassy boat. That's what I'm thinking. Inside.
I'm like, I really want to try this. This might
be a game changer for me. I'm still doing a
(26:12):
GLP one. But here's the kicker. I have to be
super thankful for the winds that I've had, but the
winds have not been with weight loss for me. And
I have an ow BCD doctor I see at Harvard.
I have a nutritionist there. I meet with them every month.
I've been going through this process for a while. It
does cut the food noise, which has been a great
(26:33):
thing for me. But you know, I have a lipandema.
It healed that didn't heal it. I still have lipadema,
but it cut down the inflammation. It healed some gut
issues that I had, So those were wins for me.
But as far as weight loss goes, I didn't have
like this drastic number and weight loss that I wanted
or that maybe some of my friends have. I mean,
there's some biggest losers that I have lost one hundred
(26:53):
pounds on JLP one and it's such a win for them.
But for me, it's like, why didn't that happen? Even
Doctor High and I have gone over this over and
over and over again. He's like, Tracy, you're one of
those anonymaly a not how do you say that word?
Anominally anomaly cases. He goes, you had rabbdo when you
were on the show. He's like all these little medical
things that go on. He goes, you are like a
(27:15):
test case for it. He's like, but I want you
to stay on it, and so I am.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Do you think though, it has a lot to do
about the types of foods or.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
The weight loss goes if you're on a JLP one
or not.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
No, not on a JLP one.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Oh absolutely, I have to pay attention to my food.
I absolutely you have to. I definitely. I think your
environment is a lot as well. What kinds of stress
factors are you, you know, having on a daily basis
I think that is a huge deal. You know, my
kids are kind of everywhere. Something's going on with one
of my adult children, and I feel it. I'm an EmPATH.
Then I hold things really, you know, I hold things
(27:53):
like that. So for me, Diane, exercise is such a
big deal. I know, I come from that diet culture.
I mean I went to weight Watchers when I was ten.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
I would go with my mom when she was in
the weight Watchers and I'm like, okay, She's like counting
her eminem's and I'm like I thought, what, yeah, yeah that.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
I hate to use the word diet, so I don't.
I eat all foods and I pay attention to what
I eat, and I'm meal prep. I mean I'm meal
prep like you wouldn't believe. I love a good meal.
Problem So well, I don't learn how to do that.
There's so many tools online now that you can just
watch a video and learn how to do it. But
the food is such a big deal for me, and
so is the exercise. They coincide together. I feel better
(28:33):
when I'm exercising, feel better when i'm eating. Well. I'm
also not a benge eater anymore. When I was on
the show, I just did ben eat Yeah all the time.
I mean I did it when I was on the show.
We had almond butter there, and I thought, oh my gosh,
I was eating with my fingers like this.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
It's me and peanut butter, just throwing.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
It down my throat while I was on the show.
You know, Oh my god. Yeah, I have a problem.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
A lot of people in the documentary were talking about
how Biggest Loser could not be on TV today. But
if if it was to make a comeback, I mean,
do you think it would work and what would have
to really change to make it be acceptable in today's society.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
I'm going to always go back to what doctor Heisinga
said on you know, on the documentary, you can't have
a show about weight loss and have it safe, especially
if you're going to put a prize on it and
do these strenuous exercises. We were working out like we
were professional athletes. Seriously, we were. If you listen to him,
he was talking about I didn't even know this until
the documentary. I didn't even realize that it was derived
(29:34):
from what he did, you know, as a doctor for
the football team, and they we really did work out
that way. I don't know. That's been the question of
the hour. You know, are these producers in the back
of their heads going, oh, we're going to do this again,
and we're going to make.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
It this way.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
I kind of felt like that.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I hope they called me to host it.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
You should, I'm your girl.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
I mean, because it's like you still got to have
the competition aspect. I mean, look at I mean I
look at these shows like Special Forces and like they
are pushing limits on what they're you know, what these
people are doing. So but I know this is a
little bit you know different. I would like to see
more of like a therapeutic aspect of it as well,
along with you know, proper you know, calorie stuff.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
But because but again, at the end of the day,
it's a competition, right, and so people are going to do.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
It is a competition. It just happens to be about
weight loss. It's a TV show, it's a game show.
It's no different than any other game show. It just
this would just happen to be about weight loss. And
you go there with that mindset of I'm going to go,
I'm going to do this. I went when I made
it there, I'm like, I'm going to play the game.
I need to stay here.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Well, Tracy, I I loved you so and I just
think you're great, and it was so I'm so happy
that your journey has really just come full circle and
you're healthy and you know, you're happy, and so that's
that's the win at the end of the day. So
I've always believed that it's never about because I used
to weigh myself all the time when my husband was cheating,
(31:00):
because I stayed with him for you know, six years
during the affairs to try to work through it. But
I would weigh myself and became this only thing I
could control was my weight, ye, and I became obsessive
about it, where now it's like, I'm I do have
a scale, but I mean I rarely go on it
because it's just you dip right back into that obsessive,
compulsive of Okay, I can't control what he's doing out there,
(31:22):
but I can control my weight, and it becomes you
become crazy with it, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
And so because you.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Get that I'm not good enough feeling, it just comes
all over you again. Yeah, I feel that way even
now when I get on the scale. I get on
the scale and I'm like you almost still defeated because
you know what work you've been doing. But I just
I walk away and I go, I am so happy
with myself. I have done so well. I am alive
and I just have to like constantly tell myself that.
(31:50):
And so I self talk in a different way than
with the way I used to self talk. And it's
hard because you look in the mirror. Even at the
gym today, I told you I was there and I'm
looking in the mirror, and my training room has said
to me, he's like, I know you're talking to yourself
in your brain right now. He goes pick it up
and let's go. Thank you for being here. Thank you
for that accountability because I needed it.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Yeah, And I think you know, keeping that positive because again,
when you just look at a number on a scale,
it just it'll ruin your day if it's like one
pound more or this. And it's like to remember to
go to the thank you for giving me a body
to move and that is healthy, and like that is
the that's I mean, that's even what I say on
my walks, like you know, just thank you for giving
(32:32):
me a body that moves that is healthy. That I'm
a lot like I'm able to move and walk and
you know, do all the things.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
So it's such a win to do that. I do
that for myself as well. I absolutely and I have to.
I have exercise. I have exercise anxiety. So before I exercise,
I have really got anxiety. I've been dealing with that
for sixteen years.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
Now I get I know.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
What's going to happen. I know when I'm going to
the gym, I just and I know it's going to
be gone in ten minutes. But I have just self
talk myself. I'm actually talking to myself when I'm walking
in the gym. I'm like, I got this. This anxiety
is going to go away in ten minutes. I'm not
getting nothing bad is going to happen. You're just gonna
make it happen. And thank you for this body that
allows me to move, and thank you for giving me
(33:14):
the tools to do that. And when I say thank you,
I'm actually saying thank you to myself. I'm like, thank
you for doing the work, Tracy, like you did this girl,
you got it. Yes.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
And that's so empowering for everyone who's listening and hopefully
on their walk and saying the same thing. So this
is great Tracy. Anything that we can look out for
coming up.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
So the book is coming out. I know I'm in
the book. I just don't know everything. I'm waiting for
my copy to get here. But we I interviewed for
this book probably two years ago with doctor Hall. So
that's going to be on on food intelligence and on
our metabolic reset. So to say, Danny and I are
talking about doing a podcast, so I don't know if
that's going to come together, but we'll figure it out.
(33:52):
And I am hopefully going to go back on a
speaking tour.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Great.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
I'm really excited about that. So I'm kind of getting
my media kid stuff together. I did that for a
little bit after I was on the show, and I
didn't know that I was gonna be blessed to be
able to do that, and I loved it. I loved
meeting women. I love talking to women, not just women
just like everybody, but women. Like I told you, I'm
a girl's girl. So if you're a company out there
(34:17):
and you need someone to come talk, I mean, I'm
your girl. I want to talk about help, I want
to talk about the show, I want to talk about wellness,
and I just want to like motivate so many people
out there to actually cheer for themselves, Like you should
cheer for yourself. I meant what I said when I
was only when I was on the documentary. It's like
I stood in that room, no one clapped for me,
and I learned right then, I'm like, that's okay. I'm
(34:38):
a clap for myself. I don't need anybody clap for me.
I can do this myself.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
That's your book, Tracy. Clap for yourself, you know what
I mean? Like, we got it, we got it. We
have to ex the end of the day, it's it's us.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
You know.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Yes we have our family and our husbands and our
kids and our friends, but we are the ones that
move our body. We are the ones that are in
control of our body and our mind and our and everything.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
So I got it. Clap for yourself.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
You have to cheer for yourself because there's so much
negative noise out there, and so you need we have
to be the ones that empower ourselves.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Absolutely. I do hope to write a book. Doctor Heisinger
has been talking to me about this for years. He's like,
I will help you. I think we're going to do it.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
I'm little forward by Robert. That'd be great. I love it.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Tracy Well, you are a joy. So thank you for
coming on. I really appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
I appreciate you having me. Thank you so much, and
thanks for all your listeners to listen. I really appreciate it.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Back girl,
Wind Down with Jana Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
All Right, today's special guests. We've got Tracy Yukchen. She
competed on season eight of the Biggest Loser in two
thousand and nine. She's on the docu series Fit for TV.
It's so good. So let's get her on.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hi. Hi, Hi, how are you?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I'm good? I see you.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Nice to meet you too. My name is Jana.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Hi, Janna.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
So I am so excited to talk to you because
little known fact about me. I was a huge Biggest
Loser fan, Like I mean so huge that I went
to a live taping when I was living in Los Angeles. Wow, yeah,
it was. It was something, and I watched every single season.
I knew all the contestants. And so when this docu
(00:49):
series came out, I mean I was like talking to
my husband like, honey, we need to watch this. It's
Biggest Loser. He knew like nothing about the show because
he was overseas and so yeah, so I obviously remember
your story very well.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
For the listeners that are listening.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
When you got the call, was there any piece of
you that was hesitant to do the docuseriies to have
to kind of relive the stuff that you went through,
or was it something where you're like grateful for the
opportunity to be able to kind of tell the story
in your words as opposed to what we saw on TV.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah. Actually I said no a couple of times when
it came to doing the documentary when they had reached
out to me. A producer reached out to me on
I think it was Instagram or Facebook, and I would
always get like these little messages from people, and you
never knew if it was real or not, and I
would like dig a little bit and tind to find
out who was that you was this. I immediately had
this like outpouring of anxiety, and I did an interview
(01:48):
with them on Zoom just have a couple of conversations,
and that lasted a couple of times because I was
so unsure as to whether or not I really wanted
to go back and do and do an interview and
even talk about my time when I was there. And
I was also nervous because I didn't know what is
the edit going to be like because of what happened
to me when I was on the show. So no,
I said no a couple of times, and it was
(02:12):
actually really hard to stay in that space and actually
go for the interview. Even when I flew to California
to film, I still hadn't signed the contract. Oh wow,
they still flew me there. No. My husband's like, you
did not sign the contractor are you sure we're getting
on a plane tomorrow. I'm like, oh, yeah, we're getting
on a plane. And I'm like, I just need to
be there and I need to like feel this before
(02:34):
I can actually say I can go through it.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
This And once you were there, then it felt safe
and yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I was in hair and makeup getting my hair and
makeup done and the producer comes over. He goes, you know,
we have to do this right, and I'm like yeah.
He goes, are you ready? Because this like we're committed.
Are you ready to do this? And I actually went
outside for a little bit and I had like a
couple of tears, touched my husband signed it and we
were done.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
There's so much your story that I because I watched
it when I was in my I mean early twenties,
I think was when your episode came out, Because how
many years ago was it?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
It's been We'll see two thousand and nine. Was that
sixteen years?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Okay, so yeah, I was in my twenties and I
and I at the time, you know, had different life experiences,
and I didn't remember pieces of your story. Now, you know,
relating to a lot of what you were going through
during that time, you know, just made me have so
much more empathy for you. But I remember obviously your
(03:36):
I don't know, want to say character, but your storyline
so much because you know, the first challenge, you literally
almost died because they had you guys run Was it
a mile? It was a mile at that time? Before
that mile run? How long do you think you did
you work out before at all? Or was there any
like how how long have you ever run before that moment?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Probably in high school when I was like saw ball
or you know, ice to twelve aton and you know,
on the field on the football field. So sure it
had been let's see, I don't even know how my
oldest daughter was. I think she was like twelve at
the time. It's been like probably twelve or fifteen years years.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, it's just I think what I'm struggling the most
with when I watch back the docuseries and then you know,
remembering your storyline with it all was I don't understand
how you became to be this like villain character or
the one that people didn't like, because I'm like, it's
(04:36):
not like you gave up on the first challenge. You
literally crawled to the finish line, almost died. So I
mean you said you were your body was what floating
I got? Didn't you get metavacked up into the helicopter? Yes?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Yes, and then you came back, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Like, that's the thing where I'm like, as I'm watching
it and I still Tracy, there's a piece of me
that's Bill doesn't understand, even in the docu series, why
you were why people had this issue with you.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I guess I don't.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
I don't understand because I'm like, she didn't quit, she
came back when the doctor said she probably shouldn't, and
she's there and she stayed eight plus week. So I'm like,
I don't, like, I don't understand why still to this day,
they edited they edited.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
You that way, they edited me so hard.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
But why though I don't understand, I don't have an.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Answer to that. I wanted to go to the after party.
Doctor heizinga had an after party at his home and
the Netflix people were there and the producers were there
from the show, and I couldn't go because I was
moving my daughter into college. But Janna, I'm gonna be
honest with you, my entire purpose of wanting to go
to that party for one to see doctor h I mean,
why not. But I wanted to be face to face
(05:51):
with the producers and I wanted to ask that very question.
And I still want to ask that question. And I'm
going to see them because he's going to have another
party and I'm going to go. But I really don't
know why other than there was nothing else going on
for them to be able to edit. And then I
also thought to myself, I'm like, maybe they thought I
was going to win, and then it would have been
(06:13):
easy to make me the bad person and then like
bring me up in a different way. I really have
no idea.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I really don't know, because even in the challenges after
that race, I mean, there were certain things right you
couldn't do because you had the was it the heart condition?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
So what happened on the show was I I was overheated,
and it went from heat exhaustion to heat stroke to wrapdomilosis,
and it's where your body can't cool itself down, so
it's like you have hypothermia. So I ran one hundred
and for temperature when they you know, when I was
in the hospital, I was running very high temperature to
where my brain hurts so bad while I was in
(06:50):
the hospital. And your muscles release CPK. So if you
do lunges today right now, and you do like twenty,
you probably got to be sore tomorrow. If you're not
used to doing lunges. That muscle soreness is the release
of CPK in your muscles. That's what that is. Mine
gave out toxic amounts of CBKA and it just flooded
my organs. So I was on the heart patient floor
(07:12):
while I was at the hospital because that was the
last straw. I mean when I tell you that I
almost died, I'm dead serious for sure.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
But I think when you go back to the edit,
I think that the edit was I played, I played hard.
I played to stay and I told everybody it wasn't
a secret. The producers knew, so did the cast members.
I'm like, I am going to play to stay here.
I have nothing to lose.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Why not, right, so there's nothing that you can go, Okay,
I can own this piece of what I did during
this that might have pissed somebody off.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Nope, I just played right. And I think that that
that's where even Allison Sweeny and the documentary, she's like,
Tracy came back with this sassy spark because I did.
I didn't cry. I was just and they called me cutthroat,
but all I did was just you know, I was nice,
I was myself, but I just I played to stay.
(08:09):
And I think that's what's so hard for even fans
to realize and people contestant. You don't go on a
TV show and say I'm going to play the game
to stay. You don't. I went to lose weight, but
I needed an advantage, and whatever advantage I could get,
I took it immediately. I was scared someone else was
going to get it before I was. I mean, even
(08:30):
like that one time where I stepped over a line, right,
you know they were going to go up in pounds, like, oh,
you get a two pound advantage, you'll get a four
pound advantage. And I'm like, I'm not going to get
anybody another shot to even get this. I'm gonna take this.
This is mine and that's why I told myself, I'm like,
I'm going to do everything I can to stay here.
If it means I have to play and have to
be cutthroat and I have to just take care of myself,
(08:53):
then that's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, And I guess people don't like that because they.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Find it as a threat.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
So lately a threat. Yeah, they were so mad at me,
and it was a it was a very you know,
everyone's like, oh, the ranch is great, the ranch is
a great place. I was able to focus on myself,
but everyone was so angry with me. They were so.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Mad at me.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I felt really alone when I was there as well,
like big time.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I wonder if it's because they from again from perspective
looking in, outside perspective looking in, is because they rallied
around you so much on that day that they thought
that you should be maybe more grateful that they were
so kind to you that day that you almost died,
and that you owed them this like soft think you.
(09:40):
I just think you. I just aem so happy to
be here kind of vibe. Maybe that was it.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I don't know, Possibly, I don't know. I mean I
was very selfish when I was there.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
But I don't.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
But you're there because you're trying to change your life. Yes,
be selfish, that's the thing, like, that's but.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
That's not the that's not the person. That's not the
person who I am. I'm a mom, I'm a wife,
and I'm a Southern woman, so you know when you
see me coming in the room especially, and that's for
a lot of women, we're portrayed that way, like we
should just give you everything we do, just constantly give, give, give, give, give.
We have nothing for ourselves. And I knew, like I
(10:15):
live that life. And when I tell you that I died,
it's like, okay, yes, that really grave accident happened. But
the person I was before that day really did die
because I put myself first. After that in everything, I'm like,
I have to be first to take care of myself
because I don't take care of me, I'm not good
for anybody around me. That includes my children, that includes
(10:38):
my family, my husband, my friends, anybody. If I don't
take care of me first, how can I ever take
care of anybody else?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Right?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
And I just I live. I live that way to
this day.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, I really, I truly I really felt for you.
And then now hearing your story as and now you know,
I'm in my forties and I've also been through infidelity
in a marriage, ended up leaving that husband who had
multiple affairs. But I didn't connect with that piece back then.
Did you share that back in the day, Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I didn't share anything.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yeah, And so hearing that now, I'm just like instantly
connected because of that connection of having infidelity in a
marriage and knowing how that makes someone feel. And I
just I had such a soft spot in my house,
was like, oh, I just want to talk to her
because you know, do you think you would have signed
up for the show if that wouldn't have happened.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
If if that wasn't going on in my marriage? Yeah, yeah,
I think I still would have signed up for the show.
I was looking to do something for myself because I
thought it was my fault. So I felt like, Okay,
my weight is a problem. And he also told me that,
but she would tell to Tay someone else like oh no,
she's Tracy's great, but really no, behind closed doors, it
(11:57):
was not good words that were used ever, And I
just thought like, oh, if I did this for myself,
maybe it would change the way he saw me and
maybe that this wouldn't happen in my marriage.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Would you have done it though, if there wasn't infidelity
before that, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Yeah, no idea.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
It'd been going on for so long and I knew
about it, and I was also really ashamed. That's why
even on the show, I was so secretive when I
was there, and I really didn't share a lot about
myself at all. And they casted me as you know,
a wife and a mom, and I was the mom
of the show. Is really the way they casted me.
(12:47):
And if you look around at the other contestants, that's
everyone kind of has their niche as far as how
they are casted to go on the show, and I'm
sure they casted me that way. I talked nothing about
my family when I was there, for I had to
go home and I knew that and another I didn't
want to embarrass I didn't want to embarrass my family either, sure,
and so I just really kept it quiet. And the
(13:09):
only person that did know was doctor Heisinga. When I
said that, you know, I told him. I told him
a lot that day and something happened at the hospital
that day as to what really made my decision to
flip the script and actually go to the show. No
one even knows. I don't remember if I shared it
on the documentary. I mean, I can tell you if
you want to know.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Is I love to know.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I love that you told me Jana about your own
what happened in your I feel connected to you because
I know that you know how I feel, and I
know that and I know how you feel like I
as a woman, I got you, and I'm a girl's
girl all the way. I was in the hospital and
I had a phone in the hospital, and so I
was able to call my family. I called my husband's phone.
(13:53):
He did not answer. I had the password to listen
to the messages, and I heard the messages and I'm like,
I'm laying in the hospital, fighting for my life, and
this is still going on. Of course it is, because
it was going on before. Why wouldn't it still be
going on. But at the time, I felt so defeated
and I felt so hurt, and like, I'm like, this
(14:16):
is still going on, and it's okay, okay. And then
right after that is when doctor Heisinger walked in the door,
and I was a absolute mess. I felt so broken.
And he came in and he's like, what is going
on with you? And I shared and he goes, We're
gonna get rid of this phone. This phone is done.
(14:38):
I want you to pretend that you're at the ranch
right now and you don't have any contact with anybody.
We have to get you better, Tracy, and he calls
a nurse in like does a little buzzer. The nurse
comes in, takes pulls the phone right out of the socket,
called my parents. I'm like, I'm not calling anymore. My
parents had my children while I was gone, So my
kids were with my parents while I was on the show.
(14:59):
And and that was it. That was like a turning
moment for me. Yeah, I just like cut off the
outside world and I just made up my mind. I'm like,
I am going to do this. Figure this out. Get
me on that show. Call it producers, I don't care,
just get me there. I'm going to do this. And
that was a turning point.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
And even in my life, sure, no, absolutely, thank you
for sharing that. I hear you on that, and that's
it's such a pivotal moment, you know, And I think
back to there's so many pieces in this so The
first one is I remember too, when you know I
found out about the affairs, It's the first thing that
women go to when they find that out is what
is wrong with me?
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
So if I would have more worn because he would mention, well,
you wear your baggy T shirts to bet, it's not
like I want to have sex with that.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
And it's like, okay, well, so if.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I dress sexier, or if I looked more muscular, or
would he want to or it's like do I lift
my boobs from my kids?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
You know what I mean? Like will that be enough?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
And it's so sad that we go to and like,
as you did as well, if I was only skinnier
or more in shape, would he not cheat on me?
And it's like, it's so sad that women that get
cheated on go to what is wrong with us? And
that's that's such a sad and place to be. But
look what you did during that you know, you went
(16:17):
on a show and you made that decision right there.
But I also will say, too, to the possible edit
of things. I remember my ex husband was in rehab
for sex addiction while I was on Dancing with the Stars,
and there was a piece of me that I had,
you know, and like you know this too. The stress
(16:37):
in your body when you are trying to figure out
your marriage and being cheated on, you're just like a
ball of defense. But yet you're trying to do something
for yourself. So the same thing, Like when I was
on the show, I was like, I'm doing this for
myself and I'm going to be you know, be the
best version and blah blah blah, and like try to
not think about what's happening over here, and you start
to just there's all there's this. It's it's like you're
(17:01):
heardened no matter what you know. Even though you're trying
to be light, you're hard because you're having you have
all this stuff in the background and your body is
feeling all the stress. So it's really really you know, yes,
you showed up doing something for yourself, but you weren't
the Tracy that you are today. You were still in
this protective mode to protect yourself, which is why you
probably came off a little bit more feistier. Like Alison said, totally,
(17:25):
I totally.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
When I go back and I see myself then and
I see myself now, it it is just like an
evolving process. Yeah, even when I came home, like I
had to come home from the show, and then I
had to face this life of being in front of
the camera, being on television, being edited the way I
was as a villain, what people were saying about me,
(17:47):
raising my family, and then still trying to make out
like everything is okay.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, you're landing from your big reveal and you have
to hug this man that just cheated on you like
nobody knows anything.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
You're like, yay, hugs.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
But then there was some that you said in the
document series where that was pretty much the last family photo, right.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, I was. I was thinking about that that one
really is It's either that one or when I went
back to the show and did like I ran a
mile or something on the marathon route at the end,
and I remember, yeah, I think that was probably the
like next to the last photo because I remember not
wanting him to come, and then the producers were like,
I didn't tell them that, but they were like, no,
(18:25):
we need your whole family. It was about the family model,
the family this, the family that, and yeah, it was
just you just know, you know, you're like, when am
I going to Is this gonna get better? Are we
going to work on this or are we not going
to And it's like I knew, I'm like this is
this is far beyond anything that I can keep going
(18:46):
with right and it's a hard space to the end.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
It's really now you're happily married right to another lovely man.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Yay. Oh good.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
So I actually knew my husband. I dated him when
I was in college and then I ran the Boston
Marathon and he's from here and I saw him. So
because of the show, I saw him again.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
So that was Sae, there you go and you were running.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
So that's great. It was a really truly a full
circle moment. How beautiful. That's so good. So on the
ranch they talked about some things that might have not
been great for calorie counting. And you know, I've seen
Jillian's emails and the stuff that she put out about
(19:28):
what she you know, wouldn't allow that they sat on
the show people were doing. Was there anything that you
saw that you're like this, this is not healthy to
do this.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I mean I saw a lot. Yeah, I was in
the background. I was there, and I just wasn't taking
direction from them, and that's why they were so angry
with me. All my direction, I would always refer back
to doctor Heizinga. I would always refer back to the
athletic trainer, which was Sandy Crumb, who actually saved my
life on the beach that day. I just consistantly went
(20:01):
back to them. I was on a very high calorie yes,
while I was there. I was I was eating like
twenty five hundred calories while I was there, and I
was having to supplement that with some drinks that doctor
Heisinga made me drink. I drink three a day. And
it's funny because even when I was on the show,
some of the contestants like I wouldn't finish all the
drink because it was like thick and I felt like nauseous.
(20:24):
Sometimes when im drinking, you should get really mad at me,
like she's not finishing her calories. And I was just
like looking around, going really like am I your business
right now? But yes, there was very low calories happening
on the ranch. They were eating eight hundred calories, some
even less to lose weight. There was all kinds of
(20:45):
gameplay going on. I was not the only one. I mean,
they would have to speak for themselves, but sure, I know,
I know the skinny.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Are you Are you still close to anyone from the show.
I know you said to Hezenga, but like anybody else
that you're just that you still talk to trainer wise.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Or I do not have a relationship with Bob or
Jillian because I didn't have a relationship when I was
there on the show with them. I mean, if I
saw one of them, I'm sure I would say hello,
But but I don't have like that trainer person relationship
with them. And yeah, I mean I'm friends with everyone
from the show. We have a group chat, we chat
(21:22):
when we wish each other happy birthday. I'm super close
with Danny. I'm very close with Liz. You know, we text,
we make phone calls. A couple of them have reached
out to me after the documentary and really, you know,
thanks for sharing your story. I'm close with Amanda. If
you asked me, yes, I'm pretty much close with most
of them.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
What do you think you would have wanted to the
trainers to do differently for you that would have made
it to be friends today?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Nothing, I don't. I mean they I feel like I
know so much now when it comes to an exercise
and and what I've learned over the years that I mean,
they were hired to do a job, and they worked
for the biggest loser. They were there once a week,
maybe twice a week, depending on, you know, when the
(22:13):
last chants work out, when the other workouts were happening.
But I mean, they were hired to do a job.
And I don't really know if I could even answer
that question.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Janel, Right, Yeah, what why do you think? Obviously we
saw Danny and a few of the contestants and the
weight comes back on why why do you think that
fluctuation happens? Is it still the unhealed stuff or is
it truly the metabolic stuff that they spoke about.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
So there is a book coming out called Food Intelligence.
It's going to be out September twenty third, and that
is going to be a lot it's going to be
covered in that with doctor Hall. So when we when
I became a contestant on the show, we started this
study and it's about metabolic adaptation and how our bodies
respond to food and exercise. And I believe the study.
(23:08):
Doctor Heizing and I have gotten into many conversations about
this because he has a different feel about how he
feels about the study. I believe the study. I have struggled.
I have done this over the years. I've gained weight,
I've lost weight. I'm not you know what I weighed
in at finale. You know I'm not a one hundred
and twenty seven pounds, hundred and thirty two pounds. I'm
not that weight. I've tried to get back to that weight.
(23:31):
I've tried to stay there, and I can't stay there.
I've tried. My body wants to be somewhere else. I
do believe that as if you suffer from obesity and
then you get down to a smaller size, your body
is constantly fighting you to get back to where it was.
I've experienced that for myself, and it's taken me. I'm
(23:53):
still evolving, I'm still transforming. I feel like it's taken
me sixteen years to figure it out. I'm more happy
now in my life life than I've ever been happy,
and you know, emotionally in my relationship with my husband.
So I'm so happy in my mind. It's like, and
then I want my body to be happy. Do I
love my body? No? I want changes all the time.
(24:16):
Went to the gym this morning. I was beating myself
up when my trainer was having me do stuff. But
I feel good, I'm very healthy, I take care of myself.
But do I want to be back at that way? Yes,
I don't know if I'll ever be again, and I'm
constantly doing more to get there.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
So I've wondered if it's because I remember when I was,
you know, trying to get back to baby wait stuff,
it was actually about the foods as opposed to I
would run every day, beat myself up with running, and
I didn't see real change until I change my food yep.
And that's where I always wondered if that was the piece,
because like, I have a few friends that are that
have done the shots, that are doing the shots, and
(25:10):
once they're seeing results, now they're wanting to eat healthier,
but they still have the habit of having a higher
carbohydride whatever more like still you know foods that are
not very healthy. So it's like when you stop the
that then the shot, then you know the weight will
(25:32):
probably come back on because the choices of what they're
picking aren't the the healthiest options for a daily you know,
when you break down on the thing on the the food.
So I'm just curious if that is is that's also
a piece of what the book talks about.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yeah, it's gonna it's definitely going to talk about about
JLP one. And I was in the study before JLP
one even came out on the market, and I had
a placebo for a while and didn't even know. And
I'm watching all these people around me, and I'm going,
I was still the biggest loser. You should have never
given me a plassy boat. That's what I'm thinking. Inside.
I'm like, I really want to try this. This might
be a game changer for me. I'm still doing a
(26:12):
GLP one. But here's the kicker. I have to be
super thankful for the winds that I've had, but the
winds have not been with weight loss for me. And
I have an ow BCD doctor I see at Harvard.
I have a nutritionist there. I meet with them every month.
I've been going through this process for a while. It
does cut the food noise, which has been a great
(26:33):
thing for me. But you know, I have a lipandema.
It healed that didn't heal it. I still have lipadema,
but it cut down the inflammation. It healed some gut
issues that I had, So those were wins for me.
But as far as weight loss goes, I didn't have
like this drastic number and weight loss that I wanted
or that maybe some of my friends have. I mean,
there's some biggest losers that I have lost one hundred
(26:53):
pounds on JLP one and it's such a win for them.
But for me, it's like, why didn't that happen? Even
Doctor High and I have gone over this over and
over and over again. He's like, Tracy, you're one of
those anonymaly a not how do you say that word?
Anominally anomaly cases. He goes, you had rabbdo when you
were on the show. He's like all these little medical
things that go on. He goes, you are like a
(27:15):
test case for it. He's like, but I want you
to stay on it, and so I am.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Do you think though, it has a lot to do
about the types of foods or.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
The weight loss goes if you're on a JLP one
or not.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
No, not on a JLP one.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Oh absolutely, I have to pay attention to my food.
I absolutely you have to. I definitely. I think your
environment is a lot as well. What kinds of stress
factors are you, you know, having on a daily basis
I think that is a huge deal. You know, my
kids are kind of everywhere. Something's going on with one
of my adult children, and I feel it. I'm an EmPATH.
Then I hold things really, you know, I hold things
(27:53):
like that. So for me, Diane, exercise is such a
big deal. I know, I come from that diet culture.
I mean I went to weight Watchers when I was ten.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
I would go with my mom when she was in
the weight Watchers and I'm like, okay, She's like counting
her eminem's and I'm like I thought, what, yeah, yeah that.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
I hate to use the word diet, so I don't.
I eat all foods and I pay attention to what
I eat, and I'm meal prep. I mean I'm meal
prep like you wouldn't believe. I love a good meal.
Problem So well, I don't learn how to do that.
There's so many tools online now that you can just
watch a video and learn how to do it. But
the food is such a big deal for me, and
so is the exercise. They coincide together. I feel better
(28:33):
when I'm exercising, feel better when i'm eating. Well. I'm
also not a benge eater anymore. When I was on
the show, I just did ben eat Yeah all the time.
I mean I did it when I was on the show.
We had almond butter there, and I thought, oh my gosh,
I was eating with my fingers like this.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
It's me and peanut butter, just throwing.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
It down my throat while I was on the show.
You know, Oh my god. Yeah, I have a problem.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
A lot of people in the documentary were talking about
how Biggest Loser could not be on TV today. But
if if it was to make a comeback, I mean,
do you think it would work and what would have
to really change to make it be acceptable in today's society.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
I'm going to always go back to what doctor Heisinga
said on you know, on the documentary, you can't have
a show about weight loss and have it safe, especially
if you're going to put a prize on it and
do these strenuous exercises. We were working out like we
were professional athletes. Seriously, we were. If you listen to him,
he was talking about I didn't even know this until
the documentary. I didn't even realize that it was derived
(29:34):
from what he did, you know, as a doctor for
the football team, and they we really did work out
that way. I don't know. That's been the question of
the hour. You know, are these producers in the back
of their heads going, oh, we're going to do this again,
and we're going to make.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
It this way.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
I kind of felt like that.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I hope they called me to host it.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
You should, I'm your girl.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
I mean, because it's like you still got to have
the competition aspect. I mean, look at I mean I
look at these shows like Special Forces and like they
are pushing limits on what they're you know, what these
people are doing. So but I know this is a
little bit you know different. I would like to see
more of like a therapeutic aspect of it as well,
along with you know, proper you know, calorie stuff.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
But because but again, at the end of the day,
it's a competition, right, and so people are going to do.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
It is a competition. It just happens to be about
weight loss. It's a TV show, it's a game show.
It's no different than any other game show. It just
this would just happen to be about weight loss. And
you go there with that mindset of I'm going to go,
I'm going to do this. I went when I made
it there, I'm like, I'm going to play the game.
I need to stay here.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Well, Tracy, I I loved you so and I just
think you're great, and it was so I'm so happy
that your journey has really just come full circle and
you're healthy and you know, you're happy, and so that's
that's the win at the end of the day. So
I've always believed that it's never about because I used
to weigh myself all the time when my husband was cheating,
(31:00):
because I stayed with him for you know, six years
during the affairs to try to work through it. But
I would weigh myself and became this only thing I
could control was my weight, ye, and I became obsessive
about it, where now it's like, I'm I do have
a scale, but I mean I rarely go on it
because it's just you dip right back into that obsessive,
compulsive of Okay, I can't control what he's doing out there,
(31:22):
but I can control my weight, and it becomes you
become crazy with it, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
And so because you.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Get that I'm not good enough feeling, it just comes
all over you again. Yeah, I feel that way even
now when I get on the scale. I get on
the scale and I'm like you almost still defeated because
you know what work you've been doing. But I just
I walk away and I go, I am so happy
with myself. I have done so well. I am alive
and I just have to like constantly tell myself that.
(31:50):
And so I self talk in a different way than
with the way I used to self talk. And it's
hard because you look in the mirror. Even at the
gym today, I told you I was there and I'm
looking in the mirror, and my training room has said
to me, he's like, I know you're talking to yourself
in your brain right now. He goes pick it up
and let's go. Thank you for being here. Thank you
for that accountability because I needed it.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Yeah, And I think you know, keeping that positive because again,
when you just look at a number on a scale,
it just it'll ruin your day if it's like one
pound more or this. And it's like to remember to
go to the thank you for giving me a body
to move and that is healthy, and like that is
the that's I mean, that's even what I say on
my walks, like you know, just thank you for giving
(32:32):
me a body that moves that is healthy. That I'm
a lot like I'm able to move and walk and
you know, do all the things.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
So it's such a win to do that. I do
that for myself as well. I absolutely and I have to.
I have exercise. I have exercise anxiety. So before I exercise,
I have really got anxiety. I've been dealing with that
for sixteen years.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
Now I get I know.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
What's going to happen. I know when I'm going to
the gym, I just and I know it's going to
be gone in ten minutes. But I have just self
talk myself. I'm actually talking to myself when I'm walking
in the gym. I'm like, I got this. This anxiety
is going to go away in ten minutes. I'm not
getting nothing bad is going to happen. You're just gonna
make it happen. And thank you for this body that
allows me to move, and thank you for giving me
(33:14):
the tools to do that. And when I say thank you,
I'm actually saying thank you to myself. I'm like, thank
you for doing the work, Tracy, like you did this girl,
you got it. Yes.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
And that's so empowering for everyone who's listening and hopefully
on their walk and saying the same thing. So this
is great Tracy. Anything that we can look out for
coming up.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
So the book is coming out. I know I'm in
the book. I just don't know everything. I'm waiting for
my copy to get here. But we I interviewed for
this book probably two years ago with doctor Hall. So
that's going to be on on food intelligence and on
our metabolic reset. So to say, Danny and I are
talking about doing a podcast, so I don't know if
that's going to come together, but we'll figure it out.
(33:52):
And I am hopefully going to go back on a
speaking tour.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Great.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
I'm really excited about that. So I'm kind of getting
my media kid stuff together. I did that for a
little bit after I was on the show, and I
didn't know that I was gonna be blessed to be
able to do that, and I loved it. I loved
meeting women. I love talking to women, not just women
just like everybody, but women. Like I told you, I'm
a girl's girl. So if you're a company out there
(34:17):
and you need someone to come talk, I mean, I'm
your girl. I want to talk about help, I want
to talk about the show, I want to talk about wellness,
and I just want to like motivate so many people
out there to actually cheer for themselves, Like you should
cheer for yourself. I meant what I said when I
was only when I was on the documentary. It's like
I stood in that room, no one clapped for me,
and I learned right then, I'm like, that's okay. I'm
(34:38):
a clap for myself. I don't need anybody clap for me.
I can do this myself.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
That's your book, Tracy. Clap for yourself, you know what
I mean? Like, we got it, we got it. We
have to ex the end of the day, it's it's us.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
You know.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Yes we have our family and our husbands and our
kids and our friends, but we are the ones that
move our body. We are the ones that are in
control of our body and our mind and our and everything.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
So I got it. Clap for yourself.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
You have to cheer for yourself because there's so much
negative noise out there, and so you need we have
to be the ones that empower ourselves.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Absolutely. I do hope to write a book. Doctor Heisinger
has been talking to me about this for years. He's like,
I will help you. I think we're going to do it.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
I'm little forward by Robert. That'd be great. I love it.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Tracy Well, you are a joy. So thank you for
coming on. I really appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
I appreciate you having me. Thank you so much, and
thanks for all your listeners to listen. I really appreciate it.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Back girl,
Host
Jana Kramer
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