Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Jana Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.
So we have Cecilia Fielhoy coming on. Girl. I am
just so thankful that you watched Love Con Revenge on
Netflix because it isn't it so good? I'm obsessed with this. Yeah,
the fact that, I mean, she got scammed for over
two hundred she's the Tindler swindler, she was one of
(00:24):
the victims of him. She got scammed over two hundred
and fifty thousand dollars and she was just one, just one,
like I one for him to mess with, though cannot imagine.
I get really excited, you know, to have someone on
that you know, we watch the show. So I'm like,
can we please get her on? And because I have
kind of a crazy story about my own little scammer,
(00:45):
so whoo, let's get her on and talk all things
so that nobody here gets love Scammed, Love Conned. Okay,
so we'll just hop right into it. I am so
excited to have you on. I mean, I truly I've
and this is my best friend Kristen and I'm Janna
by the way, and I was like, girl, you gotta
(01:06):
watch Love Con. I'm so in I love a girl
that takes any I just love smart women. Yes, it is.
I brilliant women are just hot to me, you know,
like wasn't happily married love my husband, but he knows
that there's like a type of woman that just handles
and you are that and I love it.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
And I think it's so beautiful what you've done too,
because obviously you were very vulnerable to share your story
on the Tinder swindler, but then you took it and
you know you've now you know, are doing this love
con revenge on Netflix, and it's like, man, instead of
being ashamed or staying in a place of you know, gosh,
(01:47):
I'm so embarrassed, it's like, no, I'm going to go
help other women. And I'm like, she's my girl. I
love her. And just how emotional it is for you still,
Like it's so sweet to me. It's so genuine, you know,
like you get in the car and you're like the
fighting back the tears because you see the vulnerability and
you care about these women so deeply and their experience.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah. I think that was maybe one of the hardest
things is that how still raw it is like for
me it happened now seven years ago, but it gets
brought up because they're so similar, so similar to the tactics.
It's so similar to the personalities sits. And then seeing
that it happens again and again and again to these
amazing people. You know, people are just kind and loving
(02:32):
and they just you just want to be loved and
this is what they get back. So yeah, it's it
was tougher than I expected to be prank.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
With you, I bet.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
One thing that kind of fascinated me and then I
was like, I get it was the borrowing money and
paying it back to gain trust. Like, not much surprises me,
I feel like with the human race at this point,
or shady men, but that really did surprise me.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
It's it's just so common. It's across the board. It's
both when it's purely online as well. Is that even
if it's just an employment scam, it will always be
something that people pay back that they just get some money,
so they feel like this is real. You know, I
can't trust this individual and it's so mean, it's so
mean spirited, and they can do this because of the
(03:22):
Ponzi scheme, you know, so they always have a big money.
Maybe you know, they get some money and then I
can just keep this person continuing with me, and it's
just it's evil. That's why I say this crime and
these people.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
How much money again, did did Simon get from other women? Total?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I have to say that is a bit of the
It's a bit annoying with the Tinder swindler, like he
defrauded much more than just women and most most criminal do.
It was like ten million dollars that has been kind
of but I can't imagine it's a lot more. He
has an active case still in UK. Were on base
where it was a company fraud, where there was a man,
(04:02):
so a man who believed him, and that's where he
got the private jets and the luxury cars because when
he walked in and back in the day before thanks
to me, he was on Google people. He played the part,
he looked the part, he had people around him. So yeah,
he took a lot of money. But kind of what
(04:23):
I think is sad about romance frauds compared to company fraud,
like billion dollars. Sometimes you know, people lose in these cases.
With romance fraud, there isn't that much, you know. So
when I reported my case to the police, since mine
was only two hundred thousand pounds and the company had
(04:44):
lost five hundred thousand pounds. That was an easier case
and he would get much worse sentencing for that one
than what he did towards me. And that is painful
from the human element, like the emotional abuse, I would
say in submit abuse as well, like I did not
consent to that relationship with him at all. So to
(05:05):
feel that is very black and white when it comes
to law, and that is kind of very tough for
a fraud victim to hear, well, he didn't take enough
money out of you for us to take it seriously.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yeah, that's wild, Like, that's just that's crazy. When when
I was watching you know, Love cond it's like so
many of these women these cases where it's like they
won't because it's like, well it's thirty grand or whatever
it is. It's like that is a lot of money.
That's a lot of money and what So it's just okay, that's.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
What and especially that is old. I don't know when
you saw Aaron's case, it was the statute of Limitations.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yes, I've watched all of them. I loved it.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
But five years what are you talking about? So you
say if a fraudster, scammera or criminal can go into
hiding for five years. It's almost like the crime didn't
happen five years, it's nothing like and then FBI is
it was like, yeah, well we can't say that. Everyone
was like, well, it's just someone's life.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Right and they're savings and their retirement and did you
end up getting your money back from him? No?
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Like I feel really bad for a lot of fraud victims,
like even in this series. And I don't mean it
like that, but in the US, you love civil lawsuits.
I never seen so many fraud cases where there's civil
lawsuits going here and there. And like, what unfortunately is
with fraudsters is that they're spending the money and if
they hide them, they hide them pretty well. It's not
(06:34):
so easy that you can go just to a civil lawsuit.
These are criminals. They will jump state, they will jump countries.
Like that is just how it is. But in some
of these cases, you know, I understand you want to
take them to trial in one way or the other.
You want justice and civil is a way out, but
there are no money. So sometimes there's been a judgment
(06:54):
then towards the scammer and he's they say, well, you
need to pay this woman back ex month, so he
then has to defraud someone else to pay her to
let her go get off his back so he can continue.
So that is what sometimes happens. So I feel so
bad for fraud victims because we have nowhere to go.
We have no way to get justice because no matter
(07:16):
what we do, we will do it wrong. That's why
I've never gotten gone to a civil lawsuit against Simon.
There are no money. Shall I use my money for
a lawyer when there is no money?
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Okay? So that makes sense because I'm like, well, I
don't understand, but he took it from me, so he's
got to have it, but he just spend it on Yeah,
and then he actually doesn't have the money, so it's money.
You're going after money that actually doesn't exist anymore.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
And that's what's sad. And I say, like, I totally
get why people are making civil lawsuits and sometimes I
want to do it too, But we're fraud victims. We
don't have money. We've been defrauded, so we don't have
money for lawyers. So yeah, I had to file for
bankruptcy in the UK. I had to sell my flats
like I can't even have a credit card, so kind
of the it's been huge, kind of constant coinstance for me,
(08:01):
you know, personally, and for a lot of others in
love con you know, like it's it's it's forever scarred
them in a very long period of times, especially with Charisa,
you know, the marriage fraud with two million dollars and
that that is how do you get out from that?
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I think what was telling, but also it's I could
have predicted these would be these people's responses, but when
you guys had the moments where you're sitting in the
car waiting to to confront these fraudsters, they have just
zero compassion, empathy. They're just they're like so annoyed you're there,
(08:41):
you know, and it's like it's such a typical abuser's
response to be like you're already annoying, why are you here?
Get away? Like and it's like the blame and it's
just it's so just mind blowing to me how that
is how they act that way and then take no accountability,
Like this Tad Dean guy, like we live in Nashville,
Like where's this Tadan dude?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I know?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I was like we're about to ride. We ride at
Don Kramer. I'm like, you don't what do you mean,
You're not going to own have any owner. There's zero ownership,
And that piece just drives me mad.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Tardin is something he started putting some stuff out on
YouTube again. So they're so similar in the sense of
the grandiose view of themselves that this is something that Okay,
I'm gonna capitalize of this. I am not embarrassed, like
most people will be very shaved, right, you wouldn't post
anything that social media. Yeah, but these people are not
(09:35):
like you and me. I like, I can say they're narcissistant,
psychopaths goal at me, but they have no empathy. And
they are the most dangerous people out there because they
look and act the part. They're so good at acting
like their care but they are just putting on a mask,
you know. So when we try to tell this to people,
well this happened between No, people wouldn't do that. People
(09:58):
will so kind of todd for me, and like, especially
with Ricky when we did the confrontation, Like I it's
weird when you have been defrauded, how well you know
of the types of how they are. I knew they
would just stand there like compare. We're and I always
say about the confrontations, We're not doing that to get answers.
(10:18):
I know they will lie, they will never admit it.
We don't go up to them and say, Hi, why
did you defraud Bridget and then suddenly Ricky will just say, yes,
I'm so sorry I did it. Like come on, he
lied about a military career, he lied.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
About having a wild yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Everything, he has a tattoo. Do you think that this
dude suddenly then will just suddenly realize that he's done
anything wrong.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Like, oh, you got me, You're right, I lied about
all of it. He wasn't my best friend though I
tattooed or do things.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Yeah, for me, that is such an empowering thing for
a victim to do. And I say, I'm not saying
to people to go out and confront their criminal. We
do have secure We are making sure that we're doing
it at the right time. They have the support. No
one was you know, they wanted to do it. And
I've done it as well, so kind of that's why
(11:10):
my main thing was, like we do it because a
lot of times we felt weak, we felt ashamed. We've cried.
We've been distraught, and to stand there with us and
a camera crew and like I will expose to you now.
They knew what was coming, and that is what's wonderful
about it, Like what's up with the cameras and like, yeah,
you might not be in jail, but you will be
(11:33):
on Netflix. And that is what I love about it.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
You know, Oh, I love you, this is my girl.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
It's a sentence in itself because I know that.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
And we all know they're lying. That's you know, It's like, oh,
how they still believe their innocence is what just makes me. Yeah,
I just want to throw something at the TV. Did
(12:05):
you ever hear? This is like a burning question for
me and I don't know why I'm stuck on this.
Did you ever hear from Kit you left to know
on her porch?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
That is sometimes my I was really I like, of course,
you know, when you edit stuff down, that was very
emotional for me. Like, I thought that was horrible because
she's been with them for such a long time and
I think she's still with them. I have no idea.
There are some people that are just impossible to help.
(12:35):
And like when we were making it, there were a
lot of people who have tried, so I was kind
of the lost resort. She had lost friends over this,
long term friends, but you know, she's chosen her nightmare,
I say, And I'm wondering. I'm wondering what's happened now though,
you know, you never know if thanks that is what
I was hoping, like, Okay, maybe not when we were filming,
(12:58):
but maybe when it's coming out like that, she will,
you know, realize what's happening to her. She's lost a
lot of money, and I don't know. Still to this day,
I have a.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Lot of women come out since this has become I mean,
i'd imagine this happen is just so much more common
than we even realize. I mean, even you bringing as
much as you have to light I'm sure I can
even think back to just dudes I know, not dudes
I dated, but you know, like people I knew that
were in some way some form doing this to women.
(13:33):
And and just my old schoolness of being like, well
the women don't like if a man's asking you for money,
that just felt gross to me or whatever. But now
with the popularity of the show, are you getting way
more people reaching out and saying like this is happening
to me, or this is happening to my best friend,
or I think it could be happening to this person.
Can you research this person?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
It's it's been insane. I bet it happened during the
Tender Swindler, and that was kind of the premise for it.
But to see as well now and did the desperation.
They're contacting me in every channel I have, and police
help me. So it's everything wanting to be on a
season two, you know, I just want the story out
(14:13):
that they really realize that there's nothing else to do
then doing what I did, you know, go to the
media and get some justice that way till like can
you help me? Like what can I do? Now? The
police are not caring, and that is a thread amongst
all here. You know, police not caring and you can
see it through love conravenge as well. And it's not
to bash them, as I say, they don't know enough,
(14:34):
they don't have enough priorities about this. It's viewed as
a victimless crime. But to see the amount of people
I've been pretty down in the last weeks because I'm
sitting here as one individual, like I don't know the
laws in all the countries. I don't know where to go, Like,
I'm not an oracle, and I love that people have
that connection with me now that they feel like, oh
(14:55):
Cecily is here to help us. Yeah, it feels like
where I'm like, oh god, damn it. No. But these
heartbreaking stories and as well, it's not only love cons,
you know, it's family, friends, and it's all over the world.
(15:15):
So that is another thing where I'm like, people are like, oh,
can we start like a love conn in Australia, you know,
or South Africa? You know, everyone is just like, we
have tons of scammers here. And I just love the
As I said, it was almost with the Tinderswilller, they
kind of hunt for it, the hunt for justice that
a lot and people feel. That is what I know.
(15:36):
Love Conn is different because we tell five stories. But
I was hoping that that people would realize how many
of them are out there. Remember, this is just five
stories that fitted into how you know, the storytelling that
we have like the amount of people that their frauds
happened just in twenty nineteen. You know, it's the and
(15:56):
the amounts here, the amounts people are losing are just
and that's what when we were talking, you know, thirty
k it doesn't feel that much because sometimes people lose
two hundred already, thirty K is an insane amount of
money to just suddenly, you know, never see again. And yeah,
it's been I don't know what to say. It's been
(16:18):
really tough because I can answer them all. It's that
would be impossible.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
And you're like, inside, so there's only five stories that
you did in love con But inside of those five stories,
I mean there's dozens of people attached to each story. Yeah,
it's so webby.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Yeah, and that is kind of like and you know,
when you put stuff out into the world, we need
to be one hundred percent sure, not everyone we've spoken to.
And that's what I mean, Like, these are only the
ones that we have kind of confirmed we can stand
firmly on. But the amount of victims that you know,
we already know now has come out afterwards with all
(16:59):
of these different ones. It's for me. I think that
is the saddest part is when people reach out to
me now is a sense that I can't really help them.
You know, they want their money back, they want the
police to take on the case, and it's a nightmare
(17:20):
and I don't mean it like that. But over in
the US, I was like really set back about the
difficulties of the victims in these cases in love con
to actually just make a report. In Lindsey's case with
Chris the baseball player, she you know, all of them
if they tried, no, not even a report. They had
to gather three four victims at once and go to
(17:43):
a police station in person to be taken seriously. The
amount of work a victim then needs to do by
themselves finding out the victims, you know, like become a
PI themselves to find out the victims and figure things out.
It's just astonishing to me. I got a lot that
says it's weird that you're doing the job that the
police should be doing.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah. Yeah, Well, and you also have to get not
only do you have to identify the victims, but then
you have to try to get these victims to step forward, yeah,
which I can imagine is a feat, even if they
are hurt or want their money back. At some point
probably it's like is this worth my energy? Do I
want to be part of this? Do I want to
be on TV? I mean there's a lot of layers
(18:25):
too to that, and you I mean, you're just really
up against a lot.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yeah, and as I say, not everyone should have to
go public. I feel really bad now that is this
the way we have to do it to get someone
in jail? For example, now the Tinder spindler is in jail,
and someone was saying, like, do you need a Netflix
series for people to take these kind of connartists seriously
and in the end get any justice. So that is
(18:53):
what I feel sometimes about having to go public. It's
like I did it out of desperation frankly back in
twenty nine team, and then when Netflix came on board
then I was a bit more strong, so I was like, hell, yeah,
you know, let's make it global. But I always say
to people that comes to me and like do it.
If you do it for the right reasons, it can
(19:14):
be incredibly healing. But you need to have a tough skin.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Have you had that moment of confrontation with Simon I
don't remember.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah I did, and he did as well when I
did confront him. And for me, that is why I
wanted it in the series, because for me it was
super healing to look him in the eyes and laugh
at him instead of crying and show who I am
now and kind of that I brought him down and
kind of just having that moment and as well to
(19:42):
see him like after Love Corn Revenge, he tagged me
on Instagram as well that he was watching Love Corn
Revenge and he had to ad me blosto. Yeah. I
got so triggered by that because he is my abuser.
People tend to forget for a lot of people, he's
a laughing stock, you know, like, look how stupid.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
It is the audacity for him to tag you.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah, So so congratulations on your new Netflix series at
Cecilia even I'm watching it. And later yeah, but less
than a week later he was in jail, So that
was kind of carva for me. Is so great that
he felt so triggered by me having a new Netflix series,
and that is why it tastes even sweeter because I
(20:22):
bet that you regret meeting me, and a lot of
frosters will be very angry in general, because thanks to this,
we have another avenue now in Love con Revenge that
people hopefully will be a bit more Okay, I might
be in a show, you know, I might as well,
you know, get my face out there, and maybe I
(20:43):
should stop doing this you know, I don't know, but
that is like kind of my tiny little hope that
there are another repercussions for these frosters that they never
even imagined that they would have.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
I mean, how about Todd even mentioning you in the audio?
I was like blown away. He's like the Tinder Swindler.
You know, they think I'm some sort of and I'm like,
the narcissism is so deep and so broad that you
don't even understand. You've literally identified yourself inside your own audio.
Wild That was.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
The strangest thing because Tinder Swindler. And if you think
about the Tinder Swindler and see yourself in that when
he says no, I'm not like, well you do. It's
kind of your contructor row like.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
No, what do you tell people that are like the
three biggest red flags of a scammer that you've kind
of worn people with.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
It's so I always say this because this is like
very I always say this is abuse and so manipulative,
like if they're groomed you, these are so difficult to see.
It becomes like an abusive relationship. And we know how
that is. Why didn't you leave? Why did you stay? Well?
I love him, you know, he treats me well, you know,
like so, but like if you say before you enter,
(21:59):
that's age of it where it's much more difficult, Like
I would say that the relationship is just moving super quick,
like everything happens quick, like you know, the I love yous,
like the moving in maybe future faking as well, like
talking about getting married, married like babies, you know, all
of these type of things that sometimes in some relationships
(22:22):
might happen, but in most cases it should be a
bit more progressional in the relationship. And then I love
you immediately and as well, I feel as well, if
they are kind of both talking a lot about finances,
I know sometimes that the kind of the type of
work they're doing, if they're really like I am this
(22:45):
and that, and I'm kind of if they're really taken
with money in general, all I have to say, all
this needs to fit together in a little package. So
like I think separately they can, but if as well,
if they're really taken about with money, finances, what you're doing,
if they can kind of gather if you have some
finances and how are you sitting in it? If they're
really taken with it, and then I have to say,
(23:09):
love bombing, you know, constant attention, They're always there, You're
their perfect person. They mirror you so kind of you
feel like you met your soulmate. And you know, when
I say all of these things, though separately, there are
some relationships that are like that. Some people you can
say that you love them after three weeks, get married
after three months, and then they're still together, if you
know what I mean. And that's why I think it's
(23:29):
sad about it. It's not that this is like a
you know, no, no, if this is it, it's it sucks.
But I think it's been so mindful and as I say,
the biggest red flag of all, which I find so annoying,
it's like, yeah, they ask for money or they want
you to invest in crypto. If I hear another, I
know some people love crypto, but come on, most people
(23:50):
should not handle crypto, you know. I think there's a
lot of fluff there. And yeah, so I think be
mindful the earlier you can get out of an abusive relationship.
To easter it is in general, you know.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Right, It's something though, because so I met my first
abuser when I was nineteen, and I didn't even know
that but I was. I became in a way his accomplice.
But I wasn't allowed to ask me questions about things.
And you know, there were so many times where he
said he was a DJ for Eminem. He even had
DJ cases that had Eminem on there. And like, I'm
(24:26):
from Michigan, so my little Michigan girl heart was like yes, yes,
like spaghetti, you know what I mean, Like I am,
I'm here for this. And you know, he had a
Porsche and like I didn't come from money, and like,
you know, he's very it was like very lavish, right,
and so you know, he he would say he's going
away on tour. But again I didn't look to Google
(24:47):
like when the tour dates were. I guess I never
even asked like why I didn't come or go. But
you know he'd come home with these like stacks of money,
and I remember asking one time, and that was around
the time that the abuse started to get, you know,
fit really physical and so and then he'd be like, hey,
take this card and this is the pin. Can you
take out a couple hundred dollars? And I'm like yeah,
(25:09):
like okay, you know what I mean. And if I
was ever asked any questions then you know, I would
get in trouble. Come to find out, when he ended
up going to jail for attempted murder on me, he
had taken out credit cards in mine and my mom's name.
My mom thirty thousand dollars worth of credit card debt
that like she had no idea. But and I remember
him asking me what was your mom's maiden name? In
(25:32):
social And I was thinking, like, this is weird, why
does he need this? But I'm you know, like okay, yeah,
so I'm like I asked my mom, and you know,
we're discovering this through all the discovery and core, and
it was just like it's that moment where it's like,
oh my god, like just completely scammed. And I could
tell like he would would he would work at a
place and then I'd be like, are you not working
(25:53):
at that club anymore? No, But he'd be upstairs, like
I would just hear the money counting. It's like he
would just go place to place and just steal, you know, steal.
And it was just I think back to that version.
But it's like being so young too. It's like if
I was to ask a question, I was abused for
it and I didn't want to upset him, you know,
so of course he's doing what he's not doing anything wrong,
(26:13):
Like I couldn't even think anything other than that, you know.
So that's why you know, watching these shows too, I'm
like I and I never got to have that moment
with him. I got to see him in court and testify,
but I didn't really get he wouldn't look at me.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I feel a lot of times to court or sometimes
just protecting them, they get it's so easy kind of
they can either do a plea bargain. I can hear
a lot of that as well, that people don't really
get that proper, you know, they get off easily.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
But what I will say, though, I do remember my
mom not having to pay so like they cleared her
credit or something because like it ruined her credit. So
they did do that, so I'm curious, like why some don't.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
It's a bit different because it happened behind your guys's back.
You didn't do that yourself. So that says where the
frausters are doing it now. They're using our names, they're
making us to their dirty business.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Okay, because I was never I never understood that. I was, like,
I wonder why my mom's got cleared, But like why
these people can't be.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Cleared because they didn't do the due diligence when they
gave that loan. They should have checked that it was
her that did it. And that is what's sad about
this type of fraud is that, yes, I did take
up loans Cherisa as well, and as well when you're married.
It seems so weird in Cherisa's case, the one with
the daughters, where since she was married, so many people
(27:37):
are questioning her or the police didn't take it as
seriously as all. And I was like, of course people
will marry for these type of fraudulent behaviors. Haven't you
heard about green card? Like people are marrying for green card?
We even have TV shows about it. What are you
talking about? Of course people will, And that is what
I mean. So she's left with all of that, like
(27:58):
he could just jump and he can has just started
a new life as a pastor now, like it's so yeah, yeah,
it's they are chameleons. They can just be whoever they want. Yeah,
so his pastor Wilkerson snow, But.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Is he so now that the show's out that that
doesn't affect it clearly his congregation is gonna let him go.
He probably hasn't a sermon not to watch Netflix. It's
probably under straight to instruction.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I am like, that is maybe the case that I
was hoping the most for that we can get some
justice in the end, because it can't, that can't go
unpunished what he did, especially now that I see that
people are you know, they're they're the harshest with you know,
in that case where I feel like that's the worst
one That was with the family, That was with the daughters.
(28:48):
That was when I had that case, that was the
one that I was like tugging on my heartstrings the most,
how dare you do this to this family?
Speaker 1 (28:55):
And then when she started crying after she confronted, I
was just like, oh.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
My god, like and they were so good as well,
because I was I always felt like, you know, center
the victims. I've always been like, it's so important. So
I was like with there with them, but I knew
that they were just they could handle it themselves kind
of you know how important that is to have the
moment with them. And I think it gave a proper
closure for them as young women to just feel like Okay,
(29:22):
this is a proper bad guy, and I hope that
they can use that to kind of hopefully, you know,
find some good men in the future. But that is
what I mean, like, this is the memory they have
that early on how dare he? I'm so angry on
their behalf, you know, and on shre Like it's just
just so many facets across the cases. Hear that, and
like and I'm so sorry that you had to experience
(29:43):
it too, kind of it's just so many of us
out there that have experienced this and and I'm grateful
that you got to be in court though, because that
is what I feel is missing.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
And a lot The only reason we did that was
because of the abuse piece, So that was and that
was just extra layer on top was the was the
the credit card stuff. But we went there because he
tried to kill me, so that was for it was
like about you know, no, no, but within that, like
they and all the because we actually did we got married.
(30:14):
I knew him after two weeks of knowing him. Oh,
he was very a lot older than me.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Yeah, because it's interesting, as you say about like accomplices,
because that's what happens, you know, because you're so close
to the individual. They are thinking, you should have realized
or you should have known that something wasn't right. And
that is what's so interesting about me, the victim blaming
of that aspect, not only with fraud, but then you
were in a relationship like and I'm like, it's so
difficult to say in hindsight, but I didn't. And then
(30:40):
people say, well, you should have, but I was like,
what I'm trying to tell you.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Yeah, like someone I loved, I didn't ask questions, Like
I'm like, okay, I must be the friend I don't know,
like or I don't know. Yeah, well we'd trust Yeah.
I mean they're just praying on trust, which is you know,
like what name. There's such a human emotion and it's
such a it's our kryptonite, right. It's like when we
trust someone, of course, and we love someone, we will
(31:05):
do anything to help people. Yeah, and they know that.
And when you're terrified of the person too, you don't
ask questions.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Yeah, And I think that is like what I'm trying
to say. When you mix love and fear together, you
will make people do a lot of things that they
never thought they would. But that doesn't make them a criminal.
And that that it's what I was feeling a lot
of times. It's always the victims that are left to
pick up the pieces here while the criminals are you
(31:32):
know what kind of repercussions. We've had some though, which
has been really nice. In Love Conrivence, you know, like
when it aired, when it launched on the fifth of September,
Ricky god is sentencing, So Ricky, you know he's going
to be in jail, like we have Chris as well,
and Lin see where the FBI is on to him.
So it's just it's just really really nice. You know.
(31:52):
That's some of them, but some of them I just
have still questions. I just was talking to jail in
Todd Dean's case where the DA is just saying there's
nothing I can do for you, and I'm just like,
what can I do? You know? It's it's heartbreaking sometimes
because I know that people come and they want help,
and it's just you feel like you're knocking your head
(32:13):
amongst the wall.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Are you dating again? Are you with someone? It's like,
how is that? How do you after going through that
trust someone again?
Speaker 2 (32:35):
I think because of how it happened to me, it
was good that it wasn't a proper normal relationship. I
think if I would have lived with them and he
was working as if you know what I mean, it
just went be a normal job and then just went
behind my back and took up credit cards in my name,
I think that would have been made me a lot
more jaded, like he was in here we were making
(32:57):
dinner together kind of because it was a bit more.
It was a Netflix show, you know, like with private
jets and diamonds and Peter Down and a lot of that.
I think because it was so far away from my
reality and how I was living in London and working
full time, I was able to really when I went
to therapy, really separate kind of that what was that?
(33:21):
And it's rather focused on the great relationships I've had
before because I was twenty nine when that happened, So
I've had relationships before and they were great. So I
was a target on behalf of that. I just had
nice relationships. I you know, I loved men and I
thought they were great, and I thought I was great
at picking. So my guard was kind of down that
I was like, well, this is I'm good at knowing people,
(33:43):
and now I think that's how I became a target.
But with me, which a lot of fraud victims have,
is that the fight starts after the fraud is over.
So for me, like I had four banks who took
me to trial, so I had to go through two
trials in normally, which was highly traumatizing because they, you know,
kind of called me a gold digger and naive and cunning,
(34:06):
and just like the characteristic is just to assassinate your
character and kind of the entire perpetrator. It's just we're
not even talking about him. And that was so insane
standing there. It's like I wouldn't even be here if
it wasn't for this individual. But fine, go after me
because I'm the easier target. And then I became a
suspect with UK police. At the same time, I had
(34:26):
to file for bankruptcy. It was just a lot and
dating with that going on. It's not fun having to
say to people, oh, I just filed for bankruptcy, Like
it's baggage. It's kind of like baggage in a sense
where I was like, I feel I didn't have the
confidence anymore, and still to this day I don't because
(34:47):
I just feel like you need to understand that people
can google me and have an opinion of me, you know,
like in a sense your friends, your family. You might
be strong enough person to say, well, some people might
have an opinion that your girlfriend is a gold digger,
and you might just be okay with that. Stand in
that and you know know that. And so no, I
(35:10):
haven't properly dated. I haven't had a long term relationship
since it's been seven years. So it's it's quite telling
when I look back on it that I think subconsciously
it has been a lot worse for me than I imagine.
But it's I'm very happy by myself too. I think
(35:32):
it's more like I just have to say as well,
I'm very happy being single. So I think that has
a lot to do with it. You I'm not sitting
here hoping and wishing for a man. I think I'm
making myself very happy with my friends and love from
friends and love from family. So I'm just scared that
the longer the time goes by, the more you forget
about how it is to be a toothsomeness.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
But you're not like cynical to love. I don't hear that,
which is good. I think that's the piece where it's
that that piece is good not to not have that.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
I think, no, like, I couldn't let him take that
away from you. So I feel like I'm still a
love a girl every single thing in for you. I do.
They always ask about that. I was like, I love
love right.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
I do think the thought I always said that. I
was like, I love to love you, and you do,
and I do. I do think the right person is
going to come right in and you're it's going to
just be wonderful. Yeah, and you know enough now, Yeah,
I know now that if he asked you to pay
for dinner, that was a great first and last date
and we're done here done.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
I'm just going yeah, no, no, but I thank you,
thank you like I am. But I'm always an advocate
for that. A lot of women is the happiness isn't
in a relationship. I see just a lot of people
in relationships that just because they're scared of being alone.
So many people are saying like, oh, I can't be
(36:57):
by myself. I hate being by myself. And I was like, oh,
come on, girl, you just need to just be comfortable
with that and then you can find someone else, because
then you find someone for the right reasons that they
want to fulfill you. Yeah, to that. That's where I am.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
How much of the show is kind of like pre
tape because I feel like I'm like, all right, this
is you guys have it pretty locked in, Like are
there some cases that you don't that kind of go
away or did you have just a pile of the
ones that had all the leads and the you know,
the full circle moment.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Of course, as you know, like we're there for a
certain amount.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Of time, but like it's a show.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Yeah, yeah, So we had to have no kind of
in a sense that it was the fraud case that
we could find something else we were actually uncovering, Like
we didn't know, so we didn't know what was going
to come and what was going to happen. That's fun
and it is live and we have to remember like
so for example, a lot of this we didn't know
what was going to happen, what would be the ending,
(37:57):
which I love about the show, like would we get
a confidence? Will the police take the case? So all
of that is real and it's live. When we're heading
to the police station, we're doing confrontations. Of course, we
have some victims that we know that there are several victims,
but kind of that is so unfortunately it has to
be with fraud cases, which makes me a bit sad.
(38:17):
I have to say that this is the only crime
where it's like, well, it needs to happen to more
people for us to take it seriously. It's not enough
that you defrauded one person, you know. So I think
that's all I knew. And then kind of everything else
was just we were hoping that police would do something
and that was not set. We had no idea what
would actually happen. And that's what I love about this
(38:39):
show that it is real. It was live on the
spot when we were there, but of course it had
to fit into that it was still live. It can't
be it couldn't be just the retelling of the story.
It needed to be something for us to uncover and
help with, which I think is kind of cool because
that was my main thing, was like, people are bearing
(39:00):
their hearts and souls out for us. They're bearing their
most inner you know, and shameful sometimes I don't think
it should be shameful experiences. And then I was like,
but what can we give back? Can we give them
some answers? For example that I can tell them about
these different types of methods that they're not stupid about,
some cause fallacy all about like to make them realize.
(39:21):
Can we give them some realization of what is evidence?
You know, for example, messages between you and the Frosters,
that is evidence, even though that's very private for you.
That can show manipulation and lies, you know. Can we
find documents, can brand find documents that are fake and
we can show you. Giving them some of those answers
was really important for me to be able to give
(39:41):
them something back then just taking their story and then
we look at it as true crime and a bit
of fun. I understand, but that's just how it is,
you know. But for them to feel at least that
they're being listened to and understood and heard, and I'm
so happy that they kind of that I was there
as a peer for them, that was really wonderful.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Well, thank you for what you do. I'm hopeful that
there's a season two. I get excited for Brian to
be in your wedding or give a toast, like when
you do get married. I want Brian up there like
with a glass girl.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Go yes, Brianne is Oh god. We had a little
screening and I was like making like a little collage
for everyone that has been there, and I was like
me and Brie. You know, I'm just like I missed
her so much, like I want to see her again.
So yeah, I really hope so too special.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
Yeah, thank you again for what you do. You're helping
so many people. You you know, instead of choosing to
go in, you went outward to help other people and
that just shows you know, the true beautiful person that
you are. So yeah, thanks for coming on. This is
a pleasure speaking with you.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Thank you so much for having me