January 11, 2021 • 50 mins
Get ready to give your inner child a little tough love with some straight talk from one of LeAnn's favorite no BS inspirations- holistic behavioral therapist and bestselling author Amber Hawken. Join these two for some seriously amusing advice on simplifying the confusion around connecting to your more centered self.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Holy Human with Leanne Rhymes is a production of I
Heart Radio, Hello Loves Welcome back today. You are in
for a no BS conversation full of practical insight from
one of my favorite voices in the enlightenment space, Amber Hawken.
(00:21):
Amber is a neuro linguistic programming master practitioner say that
really Fast, a cognitive behavioral therapist, and the author of
the best selling book The Unfunkiible Life. Sorry, Mom, You're
going to hear some f bombs during this one. Amber
is a wonderful speaker, teacher, and friend, and I am
so glad that she's joining us today. Here we go,
(00:46):
you say, Ambert, thank you so much for coming on
(01:13):
the Holy Human podcast. I am so inspired by you
and your work and I follow you. Everybody should go
follow her on Instagram because you have the best videos,
you have the best bits of information that always so
hit home and just bring a lot of wisdom and
a lot of grounded wisdom to the table. And I
(01:34):
am just grateful. I'm grateful for that. The world should
be grateful for that. So thank you, well, thank you
so much. It's an it's an honor to here. Really.
One of my favorite things about you is your groundedness
and how you're just kind of no bullshit and you're
willing to You're willing to go there wherever there maybe
you're willing to go there. And you wrote a book
(01:55):
called The Unfunned with the bull Life, which is my
favorite title. I wanted to start there. I want to
know what unfunned with the ball means? How does one
become unfun with the ball? You know what, Really, it's
so much easier. It's so easy. It's really really simple.
And I don't mean that to insult anyone or be confusing.
(02:16):
So the basis of the book really, it's got seven
different chapters and seven different codes so to speak, you know,
to put it into some context, and it's about connection
and vulnerability, right to live from a place of inspiration
and freedom. And that's that's, you know, that fancy little
title thing underneath it helps explain what it is. I
feel like I'm punching out Pinterest quotes here, but essentially
(02:38):
the whole thing is about instead of adding ship to yourself,
you take it all away and you just become the
most simple, unique, pure form of yourself for for lack
of a better you know, less fluffy term um. You know,
I think it's all of the stuff that we put
on and all the things that we think about ourselves
(02:58):
and all of the stuff that we think about life
that makes us so uh fuckab fuckable. Oh my god,
my mom. Okay, So just just to put this into
some context, this word. My mother listened to my first
episode of this podcast and she was like, can you
just can you? It was great minus bnnus the F word,
(03:21):
and I was like, Oh, my mom's gonna love when
Amber comes out of here because we're going to just
talk about unfunk with the bottle. Sorry, Lean's mom, I
love you. Okay, that's probably like we'll smooth it over. No,
that's it's so interesting because yes, you're talking about taking away,
and that's one of the things that I want to
talk to you about because we're right now a lot
(03:44):
of things are being taken away from all of us
until it has to happen. We're not really wants to
choose to allow things to fall away. And I feel
like I'm just now getting to a place in my
life with certain things where life's taken enough for me
and I'm actually taking the reins back and like actually
choosing to to put myself out there and be vulnerable.
(04:05):
It's taking a long time for me to get there,
and it's it's only in certain places of my life
because I know in other places it's very hard for
me to choose those the breakdown or to choose the
upheavaling that has to happen sometimes where we're all sitting
right now with things being taken, you know, from us,
it does give us an opportunity to rebuild, but the
first has to be a breakdown. And I saw something
(04:25):
the other day where you were talking about how the
breakdown was so important. Can you talk about that breakdown
piece for a moment and why it's so important and
how we can start to normalize this piece because I
feel like it's something we all want to run from.
If it's okay, I'd love to share a story from
my retreat on the weekend because it's really relative to this.
Would it be okay, please? Yes, I would love that.
So my alchemy retreats are the very deep healing places,
(04:50):
so we we create a container where deep healing can occur.
And when I say deep healing, it could be on
a cellular level, but it can be generational, you know,
down the lineage of a feminine energy of women, of
the person itself, of the woman in his lifetime, because
this particular one was was female only. And on day
three is when people start to really really let's say,
(05:14):
breakdown day one and two. They've had these beautiful experiences.
You know, they've done a sweat lodge their day two
of their juice fast, so but they've already had a
cleanse beforehand, so they're feeling light, they're feeling you know,
beautiful to connect with these people, they're feeling open, even
though they wouldn't normally, you know, be in situations where
they're open. So they've been there forty eight hours and
(05:35):
then the morning of day three we went for a
silent hike. And by the time that they get down
and we land back in the shallah and we check in,
people are tired. You know. They want their fucking food back,
they want their bed back, they want to go home,
they want their comforts, they want to you know, they
want to go back to their family. They don't want
to keep looking at themselves, they don't want to keep exploring.
(05:56):
They're just like, I'm done. And so when we check
in and there was about of them that had this
pain in their right side, like oh, my right neck
or my right back on my right hip, or my
my gut feels bloated, and someone um, you know, she
had an experience where she was really frustrated. She was
so angry that people were talking at the top of
(06:17):
the mountain peak because you know, she believed that people
should shut the heck up because it's nature. And you know,
so you see this this wilderness come out and these
women and they start to get raging and fiery, and
it's it's really beautiful to see because at first, like
they want to be there and they in and they
chose that and they talk about that. But day three,
(06:39):
that commitment kind of goes out the window and they
just want their comforts back. And it's a really really
unique and profound place to be because it's at that
point that they start to see the areas in their
life where they had these comforts up. They didn't even know,
we're comfortable. They had these created these perfect performances of
(07:01):
who they were that created these build ups of strength,
of of of almost hardness, but most of all, the
micro managing of life and other people and themselves, including
their emotions and it all came down to control. These
women just did the beautiful work of having to look
(07:22):
right in the face of that manipulative, very very smart
part of our intellect that control the manipulated the so
so cunning, you know, absolutely, and um, and so the
right side is energetically speaking, it depends what lens you're
looking through, but energetically speaking as seen as the masculine
(07:42):
side of our energy. And every single one of the
women who had an acre or a pain was on
their right. And so we spoke to control. And Michael
Singer talks about this so beautifully. Um. He wrote the
book The Surrender Experiment and The Untended Soul, some of
my favorite books. And because he tells stories and I
really enjoy the way that he teaches. So he tells
(08:04):
a story about a field that this gentleman goes to
and he sees this beautiful light in the field and
he likes to capture the lights so much that he
builds a house. And I'm speeding up the version, but
essentially he puts blinds on the house, he locks himself
in the house, and then he gets afraid because he
doesn't know how to sustain light. And this goes on
over years and how we can relate to this story essentially,
is we do this. We we create something or we
(08:27):
get to an experience we that we like, that we
like feeling a certain state, a certain emotion, a certain
way that we're being perceived by the world, a certain
level of acceptance or love or validation. Usually quite primitive,
quite very human. Um, it needs that we want emotionally
(08:47):
to feel safe and connected. And we've got these sources
for them, like these resources that are from the outside.
We've got them, and so we create our lives so
we can sustain that resource. Sometimes, um, they become well,
actually I say this a lot about our our defensive
mechanisms when we're younger, or our protective mechanisms when we're
(09:08):
younger become our defensive ones when we're older and destructive. Right, Yeah,
So we create these habits and these ideas about ourselves
which are also habits, these sources of this sense of
control or safety, all love or validation, and then we
don't want to give them up. So in that video
(09:28):
that you spoke to, I was talking about when our
relationship starts to break down, or you feel a path
that you've been going begins to drain you, or such
as what happened in the world right now, All of
the things that were in place that made us feel stable,
(09:49):
that made us feel let's just say comfortable, m we're
stripped back and exposed. Where we were outsourcing our sense
of self. We were outsourcing our sense of feeling stable
and comfortable and free and liberated and as if we
had choice in that matter, and this sense of control.
(10:17):
When it is taken away, we realized how dependent we
were on other things, including people, to have a sense
of self, to have an idea of stability and freedom
and love. When those things are stripped away, it gives
us the opportunity to see where we can take back
(10:38):
our power in a way, take back where we were
giving away our power because we were just sitting in
habit We were sitting in complacency, we were sitting in comfort.
And this might be the way that we look It
could be the fact that we might feel like we're aging.
Where things get to this state where we feel, oh,
(11:00):
I like that feeling, or I like this money, or
I like this friendship. And when we have not ensourced
our sense of deep, deep connection with something greater than ourselves,
then we will automatically outsource it, and when that gets
(11:21):
pulled away, we noticed that we were attached to it
for all of that sense of comfort. And that's when
we freak the funk out and we want to hold
on for dear life, and we feel like something has
been done to us. We feel like our power has
been taken away, we feel misused, we feel almost tricked
by life in a way because it's been taken from us.
(11:44):
But all that that trigger, all that that spikiness, all
that that resistance and that emotional pain is showing us
is where we were outsourcing our own power. And that's
why it's so important to let go when things fall apart,
because it can show us where we can begin to
in source and fill up and reclaim that from within,
because we all want to be self guided, self governed,
(12:05):
self directed, liberated beings, and we cannot be that if
we do not know where we're outsourcing our power. And
then there's this piece of like you're basically saying surrendering,
which is like, oh yeah, just surrender. Then that's my
favorite word actually that I've really had to come into
deep contact with. I still don't even think that I'm
I've fully gone there with that word, for instance, just
(12:28):
giving you know these this time that we're in, using
it as an example if you were going to tell
someone to surrender to the process, because I know we
all fight it. I mean we fight it tooth and nail.
I know my own personality is like I'm going, I'm
gonna latch on. It used to be, it's not anymore
because I can be the witness to the experience too,
maybe like fifty percent of time, which is which I say,
(12:50):
is doing pretty well, and I can see the bigger
picture of things when I get into myself, into my
this singular being that I think is not connected with anything.
When I get last in that story, it's so hard
to not fight it. How do you start to loosen
the grip? Really good question. Again, even as I'm saying it,
(13:13):
my own ego fights and a kicko. It's so simple.
We think it's so far away, and we think it's
so hard, and that that's what makes you know, that's
what makes it really difficult. So surrender is something that
the mind grabs onto and makes another goal out of.
And we often think that we can surrender by saying,
all right, I'm surrendered, but really we're just trying to
manipulate life because someone maybe we were read in a
(13:35):
spiritual book or we listen to this podcast with LeAnn
and ever and they said surrender. So I'm going to
surrender because when I surrender, then what I want will happen,
or when I surrender it will all work out, or
when I surrendered, then the thing will come. When I surrender,
then I won't feel this way. So you can see
there's like a micromanagement or an attempt to micro manage
the universe and cover it and manipulate life by surrendering.
(13:56):
And that's when the universe is just gonna sit back
and laugh in your face and say no, no, no, no,
no no, it's just not how this works. Surrender means surrender.
Surrender means except the fact that you in a sense
you can trust, that you can trust yourself, that you
can trust life. So implicitly, so let go let go
(14:17):
of thinking you need that thing to come, that you
think that you're surrendering for so it can happen, or
that you can't survive this feeling. Therefore you're going to
surrender so it goes away, or that you surrender so
therefore the thing arrives that you're trying to manifest all
that you desire so much, Just let it go because,
as you can see, the theme here is our attachment.
We want the thing, we want the feeling to go away,
(14:38):
we want the thing to come, we want the stuff
to happen. Surrender is absolute leaning into a sense of
powerlessness and the irony heling, and it's it's like, as
soon as we let go of needing it, it's us
for me, I'm I can definitely feel myself learning and
(15:00):
leaning into a deeper trust with life. And it's amazing
the things that start showing up and the things that
and once again not using like you're saying surrender or
trusting as this goal, because you're right about that, Like, oh,
if I should just trust everything's going to come, it does,
but not necessarily in that way and the way that
(15:21):
we think it's going to That's the interesting, beautiful game
of life. Learning to a deeper trust with self, to
um and knowing that I have me has been the
key for a deeper sense of trust with all that
is all. Right. On that note, we're going to take
a super quick break that you can trust that will
be right back with more Amber Hawkins, see what I
(15:42):
get there. Welcome back everyone. We were just talking about
cultivating more trust in others and ourselves. You asked before
how we actually begin to do it, and honestly, it's practice.
(16:06):
It's like when people ask me, how do I not
react when I'm triggering in the middle of a you know,
a conversation or a fiery situation where a partner or
someone at work. It's what you do outside of those
moment that counts. Breath is always my favorite practice that
I teach people because if we breathe coherently right through
the nose, what it does is it supports our nervous
(16:27):
system to completely calm down. My goal always is to
just guide people back to their center. That's it, because
once I can guide you there, or once you've got
yourself there, maybe a little bit of support, you know
how to get there, You know where it is, you
know it's infinitely available. You know that that's the safest
place where you can trust, and that's where life makes
sense even when it looks chaotic outside. So the more
(16:49):
time you spend connected to that place of your center,
the less time you spend up here. Because the truest
part of ourselves, like the truest part of ourselves will
never harm us, and that includes thoughts. M So if
we can sit in our center and we can feel complete,
just stillness, just calm, just balance, harmony, coherence, presence, and
(17:14):
we've connected to that. When we can hear this chaos
going up in our mind, we can then observe, oh yeah,
if that's it, Like there's not going to be enough
for me, or what do people think about me? Or
I'm going to be a failure, or I doubt myself.
These are all kind of semi violent thoughts in a way.
If we think them enough times, it hurts ourselves. So
we can remember, ah, that's that's not true, that's not
(17:38):
what's true, and we can connect back to this. So
it's the practices that we do in our being, in
our human self, that support the surrender of the deepest
part of ourselves. When I was watching some of your videos,
something that started to come up from me because you
were talking about over consumption, which I would love to
get into with you, but of course we're all sitting
at home right now and have been over consumed. Me
(18:00):
I'm sure, and I see myself doing it. I'm totally
watching myself doing it and going, well, I'm just it's
just part of it, like there and there in lies
my humanness, you know. But one thing that really started
to I started to ponder, and I have no idea
about any of this yet because it actually scares me
to go sit with this and I sit with empty
nous in meditation a certain form of it obviously, but
(18:23):
I think what I started to feel like we're all
getting at here. For me, this shows up in many
different forms. Was though to be able to be empty,
to be able to sit in emptiness, to not have
constant simulation, to you know, this shows up in forms
for me, like with food. If I don't know where
my next meal is coming from, Like I get like
(18:43):
so much anxiety because all of a sudden, I'm afraid
I'm gonna be empty. If I, you know, don't have
work in the future, I'm afraid I'm going to be empty.
And it was an interesting thing that started to pop
up for me of like the basis of all of this.
What I feel like is we don't know how to
be empty. You've meditated before, rightly you sing and you
(19:04):
feel alive and full, yeah, yeah, and you feel connected
to something much greater than your ego or fear. And
when you're in that space, there is no such thing
as emptiness or fullness. Right, Yes, it's all we'll ever find.
We will only ever find fullness in that space. Ever,
(19:26):
it's just whatever our mind is saying. Like all of this,
which we all do, I do. I do it all
the time, don't like anyone listening. Don't get me wrong.
Just because I know the practice of this and I
can teach it doesn't mean that I still don't get
stuck in it. But what I know for certain is
that that is all just mental masturbation. Yeah, you're right,
(19:47):
it's just mental masturbation. And so my point is is
that the idea that that is empty is the thing
that's creating resistance, right right. And can I tell a
little bit more of ex of the story to to
add to contacts with from the retreat. So that day
one of these women, she's I get goose bumps thinking
(20:08):
about her, saying that she was so vulnerable, she her
face was so red with anger, she had these tears
running down her face, and she was almost shaking, and
she said, whatever you said. Before Amber and I we
were talking about control and we were talking about connection
and resistance and all of this kind of stuff, and
she's like, made me want to break through, And if
I could reach out and hit you, I would. And
(20:30):
it's taking me everything to not dig my hands and
my nails into my hand and punch the wall instead.
And I might beautiful great because we finally touched something
that you weren't willing to see before and what it was,
and we, you know, got down to the bottom of it.
It was that she was so afraid if she let
(20:53):
a little bit go, that the whole house would crumble,
and that she wouldn't be able to support her family,
do a really good job. That she works for the government,
quite high up in some really high stakes stuff. And
she was afraid that if she let herself go, if
she let all of that rigidity and what we what
(21:13):
we have in this world thought or mistakenly thought was strength, go,
she would fall apart and crumble. But the thing I was,
and I remember saying it to her, and I was like,
whoever said you were the house? H you know, and
we build this idea that all of this is the house,
and if we let the walls go, what are we
(21:35):
going to find? But just like that story in Michael
Singer's book The Untended Soul where he built the house
around in the field that he liked the light in
to try and keep and retain the light. When you
let the walls fall away, you have infinite light. You
have infinite availability to whatever it is that we keep
(21:58):
trying to seek by holding the walls up. And so
the only barrier between us and that is us telling
ourselves that we're stuck, or us telling ourselves that we're empty,
or us telling ourselves that this and buying into that.
Just drop into your heart, drop into your body with
music or breath as soon as you can, and move
away from the thought, and you will see that it
is just it was nothing. Yeah, Well that's you talk
(22:21):
a lot about the meaning we give things, and I've
been really digging into that with my own self after
starting to think about that. I mean not that I
haven't thought about that many times before. I have, but
it was great to be reminded of the sticky places
in my life of like what am I making this
mean about me? About the world, you know, but mostly
about myself. And I'm finding and I think a lot
(22:41):
of people can relate to this Underneath all this is
a story of scarcity, that I'm not enough, that it's
not enough, that I won't have enough. And that's why
I feel like the emptiness that I speak of for
myself is so scary to touch, because I've made that
empty mean that there's a lack and that there's not enough.
And so to sit in that at this moment for
(23:02):
so many people, I think is so uncomfortable. It's so
very real, and it's it's understandable because of the things
that we've made it mean. It's I know that it's
not I'm not the only one that empty means, you know, scarcity,
And then people might have another word like a loan
or for or not, like it's the same thing, right,
It's really challenging to to start to break away from
(23:25):
that consensus as a you know, this mindset that we've
all been connected to, and to to start to unhook
from that to create our own sense of meaning. And
when we do that, how do we how the fund
do we make it stick? Because I think give meaning
to something all day long, it's like, oh, this has
a new meaning, and this is what I'm gonna tell
myself about it, Like how the hell How the hell
(23:48):
do you make that stick? What makes anything real? How
do we know something that's real like any of us?
How do we know what's real? How do we know
what thought is real? Our attention given to it for
a enough period of time creates a focus on it,
and it then creates an emotional stimulation, and then we
(24:09):
feel that where in our body. And as soon as
we've felt it and we can touch it, our mind says,
now it's real. So our focus and our attention on
something enough, it's like, imagine that you have lazy beams
coming out of your eyes and whatever you look at,
and that might be a thought in your mind or
whatever you pay attention to, it's sending all of your
(24:31):
energy to it, and it's kind of like the laser beams.
When they touch it. This thing gets bigger and stronger
and bigger and stronger and bigger and stronger and bigger
and stronger, until it becomes a feeling inside of you,
until it becomes a really strong emotion, until it becomes
a thought pattern that seems really familiar, and you're like,
now it's real. So, however, many times we have fed
(24:51):
the idea that we weren't enough or that we couldn't relax.
One that I have worked with for quite some time
is I can only relax when I have X amount
of stability in money and growth and this and this
and this, and then I can finally relax. You know.
That was one that I've worked with for years to
switch around and so here's what I tell This is
(25:13):
what I tell my people, and all the time you
find the opposite of that. So I so to give
you guys some context. Um, I'm an n LP Master
practitioner and cognitive behavioral therapist. And back ten years ago
when we did that, it took me two years to
do this course, and I remember getting at the end
being like, so we just choose a different thought. And
that's I realized in two years of study. Oh so
(25:37):
we just we just choose a different thought. That's it. Fuck, really,
And even in healing, even in regression therapy, when you
get to that point where someone is in that situation
and perhaps they've got their mom, their dad, their dad
who they were never good enough for, their mom that
never showed any emotional love, and they're going through this
experience and they're seeing this experience differently, and when they're
reliving it differently, gives them a different perspective, which is
(26:00):
essentially a different choice to see the situation differently. But
in regression, you get to feel it in your body.
So what's the difference between me doing a regression session
with someone and someone doing it themselves? They go, you
know what, since I co created with the universe based
on what I choose to see and how I experience
life and the energy that I embody, why don't I
choose a different thought pattern? As in, when I sit
(26:21):
with myself, I feel so full and alive and I
know that I am infinitely supported and there is always enough,
And right now it feels like I'm wearing, you know,
a jasting for the first time. That feels like a lie,
really uncomfortable because I've said the other thing for a
really long time, and so Amber, You're just you're just
telling me to lie to myself, and I'm saying, yeah,
I am, because you made up a lie before anyway, right,
(26:43):
it was a lie anyway, So let's just choose a
different one that makes us more aligned in flow with
what's true for our deepest self, that I am always
infinitely supported and that in emptiness I find fullness or
in emptiness I find extreme love, or in spaciousness and stillness,
I find myself and that fills me up. I just
(27:06):
get them to keep going and going and going and
making these big, you know, things that they want, and
then they write it, they breathe until they get themselves
into a subconscious liminal state. They think it, they visualize it,
they write it again, they dance, and they move to
it until it is in their body and in their being.
I get them to look in the world where it
(27:27):
already is. Because our mind is taking information and it
chunks eleven million bits of information down to five to
seven and whatever it was we focused on before, our
brain can only take in so much. So it's going
to take in what the goggles were, you know, So
that's all it can do. So we have to consciously
change those goggles. We have to consciously shift them by
(27:48):
choosing to look somewhere else and feed a different story.
What we do with the old feeling and the old
fear that that you know, I can tell comes up
when any of us sit in this sense of emptiness,
and that means you've got to touch that, You've got
to touch that deeply, and you've got to let yourself
feel that fully or open to it, because then the
energy will move through you, so you're not just trying
(28:09):
to shove another thing over another thing, you know. The
practice is to remove, disproof, reframe. That's all n LP
and CBT ever is and that's the fun bit of
the mind. We get to choose, and then we also
have our body and our being and our breath and
our feeling, and that becomes the marker or the magnet
(28:30):
where we become the set point of what we pull
in and what we see, and that's where it all begins.
So we just kind of have to throw out all
the rules, make them up, realize there never were any,
and we get to we get to make them now.
And that's it. I would love to give an example
to people so that they can feel it while they're listening.
Would that be would be? Okay? And I a guinea pig,
(28:50):
I love it, okay? So what would be a thought
that anyone who was listening could relate to and benefit from?
How it's like, I'm always supported, There's always enough, there's
more than enough, there's more where that came from? Yeah, yeah,
And we can think about love, all money or relationships
or whatever it is. So do something that brings you
(29:11):
joy first. That's your first thing you do. And it
might be like dancing too, I don't know, lip syncing
Bohemian Rhapsody at you know, volume a hundred or something
around the house, in your underwear, out and care like whatever.
You're like, phoom, you're out of your head, you're in
your body. It could be just doing ten minutes of breathing.
And when I say ten minutes of breathing, I use
the practice of grounding in your body, doing your scan
and coherent breathing, even rhy meat breathing because it harmonizes
(29:35):
your nervous system. And then when you're there, get out
of pen and paper or and or close your eyes
and right down. There is always more where that came from.
There's always more where that came from. There's always more
than where that came from. I'm infinitely supported. I'm infinitely supported.
I make money at the drop of a hat. It's easy,
it's effortless, and I love it. It's happened, it's happening.
(29:55):
It's easy, it's effortless, and I love it. And you
can be thinking about the thing that you want to
pull in or work towards and when you've done that
enough times and you're in a state of quiet presence
and sentedness in yourself, it's impossible to not begin to
feel that. Impossible unless when you're writing it, you're letting
(30:16):
your mind focus on what you don't have or what
you don't want, Because people will say, as soon as
I feel that thought, I feel freer on my body,
like a fucking bet that you're focusing on that it
wasn't there, or that you couldn't see it, you thought
it wasn't there, because of course it's there. Of course
it's there. It always is. But the mind when I
don't see it, or I don't believe it, or I
don't try. That's why we've got to get into the
(30:37):
body before we do this. I can see you giggling. Yeah, interesting, Yeah, No,
that's exactly what I do. It's a I've been playing
around with this a lot and just recognizing that that
judge in my head he's become that it's a guy.
It's a guy and I named from accident. His name
is Tubby. And he looks like the Michelin man, like
the big yeah marshmallow dude, and and he totally. He's
(31:02):
such an assholt um, but he he is very loud.
Sometimes when I start to move toward the thing of
the new thought or the new the thing of change,
that piece of me has gotten really cunning and very
smart about analyzing everything and that obviously it's not showing
up like it immediately needs like instant gratification or else
(31:24):
it's not going to believe. And yeah, that voice is loud,
and I'm sure so many people get related to that.
And this is why it's and every day thing. You
must do it every I don't want to say you
must do this every day, but when you're starting to
realize that you have depended we we me too. We
(31:47):
all have grown up in a world where we were
encouraged to depend on urline. And that's why you can
hear the controlling part come in. It's not there. It's
not there. And so what I do is encouraged people
too and myself to actually go, oh, you're scared, we're
not going to have enough. Maybe I got you, Like
we're all good, we're doing this, this is what we're
(32:09):
here for. Like I really hear you. I go, I
know you're trying to protect us. I get it. You're
super good at that. You're super good at making sure
we're going to survive. Thank you so much. What we're
going to do now is focus on where we're going,
and we're going to create that energy within ourselves. Now, Okay,
I got you. You're safe. Chill out, because there are
(32:32):
infinite possibilities in the universe right now, and and you're
just fixated on the one that we don't want. And
just like the tree, we're going to hit the tree
if we keep looking at it. So can you come
with me? And I kind of coax it, like just
chill out, you know, because whatever we resist expanse and
if we try and shish that part of ourselves, try
(32:52):
and get away from it, it's going to run faster
and it's going to come at us harder. So I
try to turn towards and then just acknowledge it and
then like after that, don't fit it, you know, like
a little kids like cool. I hear you. I'm present
with you, but I'm not going to keep enabling you. Yeah,
I hear you. Let's go back to what we want
to create within ourselves, because we've depended up here and
(33:13):
we think the only way to get somewhere is if
we figured out how to get there. I think people
think they need to understand it in order to make
it work, but we don't. But the control, the figuring
it all out of having it all the details in
the answer, it's control and the control part of us.
It's the part of the manipulative mind that doesn't actually
(33:34):
understand that whatever it wants is already available and infinite
right now. M So we've got to be compassionate with
that part of ourselves. Does that make sense it doesn't know? Yeah, absolutely,
it makes sense. Something I found that's really helpful for me.
Sometimes it's not only to turn to word it, but
to go straight into it and give it a voice.
I have learned sometimes that actually, for me, that energy
(33:57):
actually needs a voice for a moment to be heard.
And then it starts to dissipate, it starts to get quieter,
or the energy the energy itself because I've moved the
energy all of a sudden, there's freedom in my body
sometimes for me being compassionate, Yes, is I feel like
compassion and sometimes also like I just have to let
(34:20):
it out. I have to let it be an asshole
totally totally. And you know, it might be screaming into
a pillow or like as you hit the ball, or
it could be gosh, anything and you're you're totally right.
Could be tears, could be dance, could be whatever, but yeah,
you're spot on. Yeah. And for me, I mean, what
(34:42):
I've learned is sometimes it needs words. And it's interesting
because when I start to go into that place and
actually give it words, like all of a sudden wants
to hide, like and it has nothing to say. I'm like, oh,
you have planted to say, Hey, you've got the mic,
now come on. Yeah exactly, that's totally it. And it's
like it wants to run away and hide. And I
(35:03):
think that's what's so interesting I've learned about that piece
of me. Is it actually it's scared. There's a that's
all it is. It's it's a I mean, depending on
what it's based around, like for instance, this podcast. For me,
it's it's the fear of being seen fully. It's the
fear of not having it once again. You're saying control,
not the fear of not having control, the fear of
(35:24):
not having it all together. Because like you know, when
I've when I used to when I walk on stage
it's like I've rehearsed, I know what I'm doing, Like
no one sees the process, and so this for me
is interesting because it's people get to hear the process,
and sometimes my process is like thinking and talking as
I'm thinking, so I'm figuring it out. But yeah, no,
(35:45):
that's the I think for a lot of us, the
that control piece isn't not allowed for obviously, the flip
side of that is freedom, and so like we've missed
out on so much freedom. And I mean, for me,
I think that's the ultimate goal is not the right word,
but if there was ever a sense of like what
(36:07):
I'm working toward in my life, I think freedom is
the bigger picture to be able to be sovereign in
in our world, to have to realize we have choice,
because we always do. You know. The illusion about freedom
is that we think we're not already free, right, that's
(36:30):
the part, you know, And again it's just still mental
masturbation of the idea of control's illusion anyway, it's it's
it's a made up construct of ideas and thoughts that
were like if this and this and this and this
and this and this is in place, then I'm okay,
we put conditions around our sense of ability to feel
content and relax. And this is back to aid the
(36:53):
control part, but be the outsourcing. Right when my blue
print of what I think needs to happen in order
for everything to go the way that I needed to
go in order to feel okay, you can see we
put a condition like in order for me to feel joy,
I must this in order for me to feel free,
this has to happen in order for me to do
(37:14):
I remember speaking at this event once and this person
asked me a question around like yeah, but I can't
feel free until my mind stops being quiet, and I
was like, well, you're fucked, because it's never going to
shut up, you know, like in jazz obviously, right I
love I say this all the time, like like life
(37:34):
and presence and bliss, all of this, this, this, this stillness,
this this absolute centeredness within ourselves. That's all what we're
searching for. And it is right here, and right here
is where we're going to take a quick pass, but
we'll be raped back. Welcome back, loaves. We are talking
(38:13):
about uncovering what's already within. Most of my work is
trying to tell, you know, is trying to tell people
to sit down when they're already sitting. It's like you
already have what you're looking for. You just got to
go in and that when you access that and you
choose to tap into that, and you trust that this
idea of control is laughable again, and you've just got
(38:34):
to visit there more than you visit your head m hm.
And then you will begin to build a relationship with
yourself that you abandoned and pushed away for so long.
This work of contacting that part of ourselves it's like
an orgasm. You push too hard, you try too hard,
you stuff it up. You just got to relax, you
know that's funny. Well, the relaxation piece is so interesting
(38:59):
because we haven't been taught to relax, I mean we
it's just the complete opposite. And so it's I mean,
this is all retraining our being, like completely rewiring and
disconnecting from our unhooking. Like I said, from what we've
been taught our whole life. And it's not just what
we've been taught you you mentioned earlier, like the ancestral lineage,
(39:22):
that the things that are passed down within ourselves that
we That was kind of one of my really big
aha moments um when I first started on this journey
that I've been on was no wonder. I feel like
I have all of these these pieces of me, these
energies and me um that aren't mine, like they've always
(39:44):
kind of just felt like there's so much trauma from
from my mother, from her mother, and like how much
gets passed down. It's quite crazy how we have to
start to separate what is mine to be able to
heal all of that um for not only ourselves, but
for our families. Whoever awakens in the family lineage, they
(40:04):
have a big responsibility if they so choose, you know, yeah,
because you can keep passing it down. I mean you can, Okay.
So I have this true belief that healing doesn't have
to be hard and heavy. That for me is my
my choice of how I want to experience life, and
because I want to hold that energy when I go
into process with someone that this doesn't have to be
(40:25):
hard and heavy and respond like responsibility. Yeah, that might
have been the wrong. It's liberating. No, I think it's liberating.
I really do. I think it's so liberating. And when
you were saying it, I was more just reflecting than
anything that I was like yeah, and I think it
should be seen as the way it is, which is
actually ease again with the orgasm, you know metaphor, if
(40:49):
you push, if you try, and like you know, you
get all the things in place. You set it all up.
You've read the stuff you do, the things you say,
the words you act, the way you move your body.
It's robotic, it's all control. But when you actually just
let go and you come back into what you are anyway,
you will know exactly what to do and say and be.
You will know it in your being. It will be
(41:10):
in flow and again, so that's what we're trusting. And
it comes back to that. It's like parts integration when
you're talking about your mom and your lineage, where you
had to meet those parts and greet them. And it's
really what where we can do in our everyday life,
which is when you feel that energy rise up and
it feels really afraid or tension or exhausted or scared
(41:33):
or small or tiny or doubtful or nasty or manipulative, pause,
close your eyes and ask what do you want to say?
Like if you had a voice, what would you say?
If you could speak words, what would you want to say?
And when you allow that part of you or maybe
not part of you. And I think we don't need
(41:54):
to know as long as like, if it's there, it's there,
we do it. M M. You know, as long as
we meet it, we either give it a voice or
we breathe into it, or we just simply acknowledge its
presence instead of like being afraid, we're no longer pushing
anything away. Therefore we won't project anything, because when we're
pushing something away, we're projecting. It happens simultaneously. Like it's
(42:15):
like the it's like standing bow in yoga. You hold
your foot with your hand and you have the other
one out in front of you, and you stretch and pull,
stretch and pull, and if you relax either it will
collapse right your collapse out of the posture. So when
you relax, you're pushing away. You relax your projection at
the same time, and all of your energy comes back
into yourself. And when you've done that, you can see it.
(42:38):
It just comes back in and lands. It's like okay, cool,
we're back, or if it needed to move through it will.
That's a huge piece for me, especially when anxiety raises.
And yeah, the first thing that, and it's taken me
a long time. It's taken a lot of practice to
actually have this accessible to me. When it happens to
allow it in like, that's the first The first thing is,
(43:00):
oh that's here again, Oh welcome, and you can be here.
There's a there's a place for you here at this moment.
And as soon as that happens, then I think my
tools start to come back online. I can start to
work with that energy. Um. But sometimes, yeah, sometimes I
feel like I've built up this whole toolbox, my whole
you know, for the last eight years, and it's like
(43:20):
all of a sudden, everything starts to fire, and um,
I get really triggered, and it's like where did they
all go? Because we get into that really primitive part
of our brain and it's like nothing's really accessible anymore.
And the first, the first thing that I've that makes
those things accessible is to allow, allow, Allow, Allow, Because
you're right, resistance continues the cycle, it continues to keep
(43:43):
it in play totally. Control will always use the buffer
of blame, shame, guilt, criticism, judgment, projection, improving to protect itself.
M hm. So we can there's one thing we know
for sure if we're feeling fiery and triggered, there's a
part of our self that feels afraid. Mhm. So if
(44:03):
we can know anything for sure amongst anything that when
we're like that, there is something in us that needs
our own protection and love. And that's really as simple
as that. We can do that with presents. I like
to make things so simple for people. You can know
for sure right now there's a part of yourself trying
to protect itself. That part of itself is an illusionary idea,
(44:27):
your shadow as an illusion that controls it all. But
we don't need to go into that natural and intellectualize that.
There's just a part of you right now that's trying
to you know, that needs protection and all love, and
we can just do that through presence. Keep coming back,
keep coming back. I love the simplicity of that, And
that's exactly That's exactly what I did this morning. And
(44:48):
it's so funny that you just spoke to exactly what
I was telling myself as I was coming home. I
was talking to my husband about it from tennis, and
I was like, I just kept I just keep reminding
myself come back into the present moment, like into the
present moment and I go, it can't be that easy.
That's literally said to him this morning. I was like,
I can't be easy, and so thank you. You just
(45:10):
like debunked that for me. Yes, it's that easy to
come back like it is, isn't it. I love that.
I'm so glad you shared that. Thank you, because I
want everyone to hear how easy it is. I know
you're going to ask about over consumption, and that's how
it's fucked right, because we're like, we're gonna do all
these things to heal. It's like, actually, just you, our
(45:30):
mind needs to keep being fed. That is what the
mind does. And if we can come back to that
every time, just the simplicity of that is that is
the practice. Really, and now that we've discussed all of this,
what we're telling you is just come back in the presence.
It's just really that exactly. Listen to Leon's new album,
(45:51):
It Will Take Your presence is bloody amazing. Thank you,
thank you, thank you. Speaking of music, I love to
ask people because I think that us it connects so deeply.
What's your song book? Whether that be like in this
moment in time or throughout your life, Like, what are
five what are your holy five songs that you just
like love Jimmy Hendrix, Watchhower, Oh yeah, so good, Queen
(46:22):
Bohemian Rhapsody. I love that you love that song? So
awesome love, I know everyone. That's my karaoke song. Guys
(46:43):
um Um, Red Hot Chili Peppers, other side sad. Oh
that's a good song. I love them. Is there anything
that for the present moment? Yeah, that's what I was like,
(47:06):
Can am I allowed to look at my Spotify spot
if I most played? Okay, okakay, all right, I'm cheating.
The other day I saw my top songs and I
was like, stop, it so good. So it's so great.
I really really love Florence Machine Hunger. Oh yeah, like yeah,
(47:31):
it's it's only new and and it's been on repeat.
I've really loved it. And that's a new one. She's
an amazing life. She's so good. You have to if
you ever get a chance to see her life, she's incredible.
I will. And the other one, oh that I would
put on, I would have to say Gravity by John
made Gravity just work at me. I love that song
(48:03):
so good, very good choices highly I highly agree. It's
so interesting to see what everybody brings to the table
anything with some solid bass guitar or rock and roll,
because I grew up with my dad and he, you know,
grew up listening to Jimmy Hendrix in getting ready for school.
So it's it's like, does something to my nervous system,
which is funny. It settles it in some way immediately, Calm.
(48:26):
I love it. Thank you so much for coming on here.
I so, I'm so grateful for your wisdom, thank you
for sharing it. Thank you for guiding us back to
a place of simplicity. So I think we're all in
desperate need of that at this moment of remembering that.
Thank you so much for having me. Truly, you're so deeply,
profoundly impeccable with what you're doing, how you're showing up,
(48:49):
and it's so inspiring. So I'm really honored to be herely,
thank you. Thank you. All Right, that is it for
this episode. Please share it with anyone you think might
benefit from listening, and I would love to hear from
(49:09):
you too, So leave me a message and a rating
wherever you get your podcasts. On our next Holy Human,
you will meet a man who just might challenge the
way you see our world. And yourself. My dear friend,
Shaman Derek is on a mission to bring the ancient
practice of shamanism to modern times, and he'll share why
he thinks it can change your life too. Listen and
(49:58):
follow Holy Human on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to podcasts. M HM
Holy Human with Leanne Rhymes is a production of I
Heart Radio, Hello Loves Welcome back today. You are in
for a no BS conversation full of practical insight from
one of my favorite voices in the enlightenment space, Amber Hawken.
(00:21):
Amber is a neuro linguistic programming master practitioner say that
really Fast, a cognitive behavioral therapist, and the author of
the best selling book The Unfunkiible Life. Sorry, Mom, You're
going to hear some f bombs during this one. Amber
is a wonderful speaker, teacher, and friend, and I am
so glad that she's joining us today. Here we go,
(00:46):
you say, Ambert, thank you so much for coming on
(01:13):
the Holy Human podcast. I am so inspired by you
and your work and I follow you. Everybody should go
follow her on Instagram because you have the best videos,
you have the best bits of information that always so
hit home and just bring a lot of wisdom and
a lot of grounded wisdom to the table. And I
(01:34):
am just grateful. I'm grateful for that. The world should
be grateful for that. So thank you, well, thank you
so much. It's an it's an honor to here. Really.
One of my favorite things about you is your groundedness
and how you're just kind of no bullshit and you're
willing to You're willing to go there wherever there maybe
you're willing to go there. And you wrote a book
(01:55):
called The Unfunned with the bull Life, which is my
favorite title. I wanted to start there. I want to
know what unfunned with the ball means? How does one
become unfun with the ball? You know what, Really, it's
so much easier. It's so easy. It's really really simple.
And I don't mean that to insult anyone or be confusing.
(02:16):
So the basis of the book really, it's got seven
different chapters and seven different codes so to speak, you know,
to put it into some context, and it's about connection
and vulnerability, right to live from a place of inspiration
and freedom. And that's that's, you know, that fancy little
title thing underneath it helps explain what it is. I
feel like I'm punching out Pinterest quotes here, but essentially
(02:38):
the whole thing is about instead of adding ship to yourself,
you take it all away and you just become the
most simple, unique, pure form of yourself for for lack
of a better you know, less fluffy term um. You know,
I think it's all of the stuff that we put
on and all the things that we think about ourselves
(02:58):
and all of the stuff that we think about life
that makes us so uh fuckab fuckable. Oh my god,
my mom. Okay, So just just to put this into
some context, this word. My mother listened to my first
episode of this podcast and she was like, can you
just can you? It was great minus bnnus the F word,
(03:21):
and I was like, Oh, my mom's gonna love when
Amber comes out of here because we're going to just
talk about unfunk with the bottle. Sorry, Lean's mom, I
love you. Okay, that's probably like we'll smooth it over. No,
that's it's so interesting because yes, you're talking about taking away,
and that's one of the things that I want to
talk to you about because we're right now a lot
(03:44):
of things are being taken away from all of us
until it has to happen. We're not really wants to
choose to allow things to fall away. And I feel
like I'm just now getting to a place in my
life with certain things where life's taken enough for me
and I'm actually taking the reins back and like actually
choosing to to put myself out there and be vulnerable.
(04:05):
It's taking a long time for me to get there,
and it's it's only in certain places of my life
because I know in other places it's very hard for
me to choose those the breakdown or to choose the
upheavaling that has to happen sometimes where we're all sitting
right now with things being taken, you know, from us,
it does give us an opportunity to rebuild, but the
first has to be a breakdown. And I saw something
(04:25):
the other day where you were talking about how the
breakdown was so important. Can you talk about that breakdown
piece for a moment and why it's so important and
how we can start to normalize this piece because I
feel like it's something we all want to run from.
If it's okay, I'd love to share a story from
my retreat on the weekend because it's really relative to this.
Would it be okay, please? Yes, I would love that.
So my alchemy retreats are the very deep healing places,
(04:50):
so we we create a container where deep healing can occur.
And when I say deep healing, it could be on
a cellular level, but it can be generational, you know,
down the lineage of a feminine energy of women, of
the person itself, of the woman in his lifetime, because
this particular one was was female only. And on day
three is when people start to really really let's say,
(05:14):
breakdown day one and two. They've had these beautiful experiences.
You know, they've done a sweat lodge their day two
of their juice fast, so but they've already had a
cleanse beforehand, so they're feeling light, they're feeling you know,
beautiful to connect with these people, they're feeling open, even
though they wouldn't normally, you know, be in situations where
they're open. So they've been there forty eight hours and
(05:35):
then the morning of day three we went for a
silent hike. And by the time that they get down
and we land back in the shallah and we check in,
people are tired. You know. They want their fucking food back,
they want their bed back, they want to go home,
they want their comforts, they want to you know, they
want to go back to their family. They don't want
to keep looking at themselves, they don't want to keep exploring.
(05:56):
They're just like, I'm done. And so when we check
in and there was about of them that had this
pain in their right side, like oh, my right neck
or my right back on my right hip, or my
my gut feels bloated, and someone um, you know, she
had an experience where she was really frustrated. She was
so angry that people were talking at the top of
(06:17):
the mountain peak because you know, she believed that people
should shut the heck up because it's nature. And you know,
so you see this this wilderness come out and these
women and they start to get raging and fiery, and
it's it's really beautiful to see because at first, like
they want to be there and they in and they
chose that and they talk about that. But day three,
(06:39):
that commitment kind of goes out the window and they
just want their comforts back. And it's a really really
unique and profound place to be because it's at that
point that they start to see the areas in their
life where they had these comforts up. They didn't even know,
we're comfortable. They had these created these perfect performances of
(07:01):
who they were that created these build ups of strength,
of of of almost hardness, but most of all, the
micro managing of life and other people and themselves, including
their emotions and it all came down to control. These
women just did the beautiful work of having to look
(07:22):
right in the face of that manipulative, very very smart
part of our intellect that control the manipulated the so
so cunning, you know, absolutely, and um, and so the
right side is energetically speaking, it depends what lens you're
looking through, but energetically speaking as seen as the masculine
(07:42):
side of our energy. And every single one of the
women who had an acre or a pain was on
their right. And so we spoke to control. And Michael
Singer talks about this so beautifully. Um. He wrote the
book The Surrender Experiment and The Untended Soul, some of
my favorite books. And because he tells stories and I
really enjoy the way that he teaches. So he tells
(08:04):
a story about a field that this gentleman goes to
and he sees this beautiful light in the field and
he likes to capture the lights so much that he
builds a house. And I'm speeding up the version, but
essentially he puts blinds on the house, he locks himself
in the house, and then he gets afraid because he
doesn't know how to sustain light. And this goes on
over years and how we can relate to this story essentially,
is we do this. We we create something or we
(08:27):
get to an experience we that we like, that we
like feeling a certain state, a certain emotion, a certain
way that we're being perceived by the world, a certain
level of acceptance or love or validation. Usually quite primitive,
quite very human. Um, it needs that we want emotionally
(08:47):
to feel safe and connected. And we've got these sources
for them, like these resources that are from the outside.
We've got them, and so we create our lives so
we can sustain that resource. Sometimes, um, they become well,
actually I say this a lot about our our defensive
mechanisms when we're younger, or our protective mechanisms when we're
(09:08):
younger become our defensive ones when we're older and destructive. Right, Yeah,
So we create these habits and these ideas about ourselves
which are also habits, these sources of this sense of
control or safety, all love or validation, and then we
don't want to give them up. So in that video
(09:28):
that you spoke to, I was talking about when our
relationship starts to break down, or you feel a path
that you've been going begins to drain you, or such
as what happened in the world right now, All of
the things that were in place that made us feel stable,
(09:49):
that made us feel let's just say comfortable, m we're
stripped back and exposed. Where we were outsourcing our sense
of self. We were outsourcing our sense of feeling stable
and comfortable and free and liberated and as if we
had choice in that matter, and this sense of control.
(10:17):
When it is taken away, we realized how dependent we
were on other things, including people, to have a sense
of self, to have an idea of stability and freedom
and love. When those things are stripped away, it gives
us the opportunity to see where we can take back
(10:38):
our power in a way, take back where we were
giving away our power because we were just sitting in
habit We were sitting in complacency, we were sitting in comfort.
And this might be the way that we look It
could be the fact that we might feel like we're aging.
Where things get to this state where we feel, oh,
(11:00):
I like that feeling, or I like this money, or
I like this friendship. And when we have not ensourced
our sense of deep, deep connection with something greater than ourselves,
then we will automatically outsource it, and when that gets
(11:21):
pulled away, we noticed that we were attached to it
for all of that sense of comfort. And that's when
we freak the funk out and we want to hold
on for dear life, and we feel like something has
been done to us. We feel like our power has
been taken away, we feel misused, we feel almost tricked
by life in a way because it's been taken from us.
(11:44):
But all that that trigger, all that that spikiness, all
that that resistance and that emotional pain is showing us
is where we were outsourcing our own power. And that's
why it's so important to let go when things fall apart,
because it can show us where we can begin to
in source and fill up and reclaim that from within,
because we all want to be self guided, self governed,
(12:05):
self directed, liberated beings, and we cannot be that if
we do not know where we're outsourcing our power. And
then there's this piece of like you're basically saying surrendering,
which is like, oh yeah, just surrender. Then that's my
favorite word actually that I've really had to come into
deep contact with. I still don't even think that I'm
I've fully gone there with that word, for instance, just
(12:28):
giving you know these this time that we're in, using
it as an example if you were going to tell
someone to surrender to the process, because I know we
all fight it. I mean we fight it tooth and nail.
I know my own personality is like I'm going, I'm
gonna latch on. It used to be, it's not anymore
because I can be the witness to the experience too,
maybe like fifty percent of time, which is which I say,
(12:50):
is doing pretty well, and I can see the bigger
picture of things when I get into myself, into my
this singular being that I think is not connected with anything.
When I get last in that story, it's so hard
to not fight it. How do you start to loosen
the grip? Really good question. Again, even as I'm saying it,
(13:13):
my own ego fights and a kicko. It's so simple.
We think it's so far away, and we think it's
so hard, and that that's what makes you know, that's
what makes it really difficult. So surrender is something that
the mind grabs onto and makes another goal out of.
And we often think that we can surrender by saying,
all right, I'm surrendered, but really we're just trying to
manipulate life because someone maybe we were read in a
(13:35):
spiritual book or we listen to this podcast with LeAnn
and ever and they said surrender. So I'm going to
surrender because when I surrender, then what I want will happen,
or when I surrender it will all work out, or
when I surrendered, then the thing will come. When I surrender,
then I won't feel this way. So you can see
there's like a micromanagement or an attempt to micro manage
the universe and cover it and manipulate life by surrendering.
(13:56):
And that's when the universe is just gonna sit back
and laugh in your face and say no, no, no, no,
no no, it's just not how this works. Surrender means surrender.
Surrender means except the fact that you in a sense
you can trust, that you can trust yourself, that you
can trust life. So implicitly, so let go let go
(14:17):
of thinking you need that thing to come, that you
think that you're surrendering for so it can happen, or
that you can't survive this feeling. Therefore you're going to
surrender so it goes away, or that you surrender so
therefore the thing arrives that you're trying to manifest all
that you desire so much, Just let it go because,
as you can see, the theme here is our attachment.
We want the thing, we want the feeling to go away,
(14:38):
we want the thing to come, we want the stuff
to happen. Surrender is absolute leaning into a sense of
powerlessness and the irony heling, and it's it's like, as
soon as we let go of needing it, it's us
for me, I'm I can definitely feel myself learning and
(15:00):
leaning into a deeper trust with life. And it's amazing
the things that start showing up and the things that
and once again not using like you're saying surrender or
trusting as this goal, because you're right about that, Like, oh,
if I should just trust everything's going to come, it does,
but not necessarily in that way and the way that
(15:21):
we think it's going to That's the interesting, beautiful game
of life. Learning to a deeper trust with self, to
um and knowing that I have me has been the
key for a deeper sense of trust with all that
is all. Right. On that note, we're going to take
a super quick break that you can trust that will
be right back with more Amber Hawkins, see what I
(15:42):
get there. Welcome back everyone. We were just talking about
cultivating more trust in others and ourselves. You asked before
how we actually begin to do it, and honestly, it's practice.
(16:06):
It's like when people ask me, how do I not
react when I'm triggering in the middle of a you know,
a conversation or a fiery situation where a partner or
someone at work. It's what you do outside of those
moment that counts. Breath is always my favorite practice that
I teach people because if we breathe coherently right through
the nose, what it does is it supports our nervous
(16:27):
system to completely calm down. My goal always is to
just guide people back to their center. That's it, because
once I can guide you there, or once you've got
yourself there, maybe a little bit of support, you know
how to get there, You know where it is, you
know it's infinitely available. You know that that's the safest
place where you can trust, and that's where life makes
sense even when it looks chaotic outside. So the more
(16:49):
time you spend connected to that place of your center,
the less time you spend up here. Because the truest
part of ourselves, like the truest part of ourselves will
never harm us, and that includes thoughts. M So if
we can sit in our center and we can feel complete,
just stillness, just calm, just balance, harmony, coherence, presence, and
(17:14):
we've connected to that. When we can hear this chaos
going up in our mind, we can then observe, oh yeah,
if that's it, Like there's not going to be enough
for me, or what do people think about me? Or
I'm going to be a failure, or I doubt myself.
These are all kind of semi violent thoughts in a way.
If we think them enough times, it hurts ourselves. So
we can remember, ah, that's that's not true, that's not
(17:38):
what's true, and we can connect back to this. So
it's the practices that we do in our being, in
our human self, that support the surrender of the deepest
part of ourselves. When I was watching some of your videos,
something that started to come up from me because you
were talking about over consumption, which I would love to
get into with you, but of course we're all sitting
at home right now and have been over consumed. Me
(18:00):
I'm sure, and I see myself doing it. I'm totally
watching myself doing it and going, well, I'm just it's
just part of it, like there and there in lies
my humanness, you know. But one thing that really started
to I started to ponder, and I have no idea
about any of this yet because it actually scares me
to go sit with this and I sit with empty
nous in meditation a certain form of it obviously, but
(18:23):
I think what I started to feel like we're all
getting at here. For me, this shows up in many
different forms. Was though to be able to be empty,
to be able to sit in emptiness, to not have
constant simulation, to you know, this shows up in forms
for me, like with food. If I don't know where
my next meal is coming from, Like I get like
(18:43):
so much anxiety because all of a sudden, I'm afraid
I'm gonna be empty. If I, you know, don't have
work in the future, I'm afraid I'm going to be empty.
And it was an interesting thing that started to pop
up for me of like the basis of all of this.
What I feel like is we don't know how to
be empty. You've meditated before, rightly you sing and you
(19:04):
feel alive and full, yeah, yeah, and you feel connected
to something much greater than your ego or fear. And
when you're in that space, there is no such thing
as emptiness or fullness. Right, Yes, it's all we'll ever find.
We will only ever find fullness in that space. Ever,
(19:26):
it's just whatever our mind is saying. Like all of this,
which we all do, I do. I do it all
the time, don't like anyone listening. Don't get me wrong.
Just because I know the practice of this and I
can teach it doesn't mean that I still don't get
stuck in it. But what I know for certain is
that that is all just mental masturbation. Yeah, you're right,
(19:47):
it's just mental masturbation. And so my point is is
that the idea that that is empty is the thing
that's creating resistance, right right. And can I tell a
little bit more of ex of the story to to
add to contacts with from the retreat. So that day
one of these women, she's I get goose bumps thinking
(20:08):
about her, saying that she was so vulnerable, she her
face was so red with anger, she had these tears
running down her face, and she was almost shaking, and
she said, whatever you said. Before Amber and I we
were talking about control and we were talking about connection
and resistance and all of this kind of stuff, and
she's like, made me want to break through, And if
I could reach out and hit you, I would. And
(20:30):
it's taking me everything to not dig my hands and
my nails into my hand and punch the wall instead.
And I might beautiful great because we finally touched something
that you weren't willing to see before and what it was,
and we, you know, got down to the bottom of it.
It was that she was so afraid if she let
(20:53):
a little bit go, that the whole house would crumble,
and that she wouldn't be able to support her family,
do a really good job. That she works for the government,
quite high up in some really high stakes stuff. And
she was afraid that if she let herself go, if
she let all of that rigidity and what we what
(21:13):
we have in this world thought or mistakenly thought was strength, go,
she would fall apart and crumble. But the thing I was,
and I remember saying it to her, and I was like,
whoever said you were the house? H you know, and
we build this idea that all of this is the house,
and if we let the walls go, what are we
(21:35):
going to find? But just like that story in Michael
Singer's book The Untended Soul where he built the house
around in the field that he liked the light in
to try and keep and retain the light. When you
let the walls fall away, you have infinite light. You
have infinite availability to whatever it is that we keep
(21:58):
trying to seek by holding the walls up. And so
the only barrier between us and that is us telling
ourselves that we're stuck, or us telling ourselves that we're empty,
or us telling ourselves that this and buying into that.
Just drop into your heart, drop into your body with
music or breath as soon as you can, and move
away from the thought, and you will see that it
is just it was nothing. Yeah, Well that's you talk
(22:21):
a lot about the meaning we give things, and I've
been really digging into that with my own self after
starting to think about that. I mean not that I
haven't thought about that many times before. I have, but
it was great to be reminded of the sticky places
in my life of like what am I making this
mean about me? About the world, you know, but mostly
about myself. And I'm finding and I think a lot
(22:41):
of people can relate to this Underneath all this is
a story of scarcity, that I'm not enough, that it's
not enough, that I won't have enough. And that's why
I feel like the emptiness that I speak of for
myself is so scary to touch, because I've made that
empty mean that there's a lack and that there's not enough.
And so to sit in that at this moment for
(23:02):
so many people, I think is so uncomfortable. It's so
very real, and it's it's understandable because of the things
that we've made it mean. It's I know that it's
not I'm not the only one that empty means, you know, scarcity,
And then people might have another word like a loan
or for or not, like it's the same thing, right,
It's really challenging to to start to break away from
(23:25):
that consensus as a you know, this mindset that we've
all been connected to, and to to start to unhook
from that to create our own sense of meaning. And
when we do that, how do we how the fund
do we make it stick? Because I think give meaning
to something all day long, it's like, oh, this has
a new meaning, and this is what I'm gonna tell
myself about it, Like how the hell How the hell
(23:48):
do you make that stick? What makes anything real? How
do we know something that's real like any of us?
How do we know what's real? How do we know
what thought is real? Our attention given to it for
a enough period of time creates a focus on it,
and it then creates an emotional stimulation, and then we
(24:09):
feel that where in our body. And as soon as
we've felt it and we can touch it, our mind says,
now it's real. So our focus and our attention on
something enough, it's like, imagine that you have lazy beams
coming out of your eyes and whatever you look at,
and that might be a thought in your mind or
whatever you pay attention to, it's sending all of your
(24:31):
energy to it, and it's kind of like the laser beams.
When they touch it. This thing gets bigger and stronger
and bigger and stronger and bigger and stronger and bigger
and stronger, until it becomes a feeling inside of you,
until it becomes a really strong emotion, until it becomes
a thought pattern that seems really familiar, and you're like,
now it's real. So, however, many times we have fed
(24:51):
the idea that we weren't enough or that we couldn't relax.
One that I have worked with for quite some time
is I can only relax when I have X amount
of stability in money and growth and this and this
and this, and then I can finally relax. You know.
That was one that I've worked with for years to
switch around and so here's what I tell This is
(25:13):
what I tell my people, and all the time you
find the opposite of that. So I so to give
you guys some context. Um, I'm an n LP Master
practitioner and cognitive behavioral therapist. And back ten years ago
when we did that, it took me two years to
do this course, and I remember getting at the end
being like, so we just choose a different thought. And
that's I realized in two years of study. Oh so
(25:37):
we just we just choose a different thought. That's it. Fuck, really,
And even in healing, even in regression therapy, when you
get to that point where someone is in that situation
and perhaps they've got their mom, their dad, their dad
who they were never good enough for, their mom that
never showed any emotional love, and they're going through this
experience and they're seeing this experience differently, and when they're
reliving it differently, gives them a different perspective, which is
(26:00):
essentially a different choice to see the situation differently. But
in regression, you get to feel it in your body.
So what's the difference between me doing a regression session
with someone and someone doing it themselves? They go, you
know what, since I co created with the universe based
on what I choose to see and how I experience
life and the energy that I embody, why don't I
choose a different thought pattern? As in, when I sit
(26:21):
with myself, I feel so full and alive and I
know that I am infinitely supported and there is always enough,
And right now it feels like I'm wearing, you know,
a jasting for the first time. That feels like a lie,
really uncomfortable because I've said the other thing for a
really long time, and so Amber, You're just you're just
telling me to lie to myself, and I'm saying, yeah,
I am, because you made up a lie before anyway, right,
(26:43):
it was a lie anyway, So let's just choose a
different one that makes us more aligned in flow with
what's true for our deepest self, that I am always
infinitely supported and that in emptiness I find fullness or
in emptiness I find extreme love, or in spaciousness and stillness,
I find myself and that fills me up. I just
(27:06):
get them to keep going and going and going and
making these big, you know, things that they want, and
then they write it, they breathe until they get themselves
into a subconscious liminal state. They think it, they visualize it,
they write it again, they dance, and they move to
it until it is in their body and in their being.
I get them to look in the world where it
(27:27):
already is. Because our mind is taking information and it
chunks eleven million bits of information down to five to
seven and whatever it was we focused on before, our
brain can only take in so much. So it's going
to take in what the goggles were, you know, So
that's all it can do. So we have to consciously
change those goggles. We have to consciously shift them by
(27:48):
choosing to look somewhere else and feed a different story.
What we do with the old feeling and the old
fear that that you know, I can tell comes up
when any of us sit in this sense of emptiness,
and that means you've got to touch that, You've got
to touch that deeply, and you've got to let yourself
feel that fully or open to it, because then the
energy will move through you, so you're not just trying
(28:09):
to shove another thing over another thing, you know. The
practice is to remove, disproof, reframe. That's all n LP
and CBT ever is and that's the fun bit of
the mind. We get to choose, and then we also
have our body and our being and our breath and
our feeling, and that becomes the marker or the magnet
(28:30):
where we become the set point of what we pull
in and what we see, and that's where it all begins.
So we just kind of have to throw out all
the rules, make them up, realize there never were any,
and we get to we get to make them now.
And that's it. I would love to give an example
to people so that they can feel it while they're listening.
Would that be would be? Okay? And I a guinea pig,
(28:50):
I love it, okay? So what would be a thought
that anyone who was listening could relate to and benefit from?
How it's like, I'm always supported, There's always enough, there's
more than enough, there's more where that came from? Yeah, yeah,
And we can think about love, all money or relationships
or whatever it is. So do something that brings you
(29:11):
joy first. That's your first thing you do. And it
might be like dancing too, I don't know, lip syncing
Bohemian Rhapsody at you know, volume a hundred or something
around the house, in your underwear, out and care like whatever.
You're like, phoom, you're out of your head, you're in
your body. It could be just doing ten minutes of breathing.
And when I say ten minutes of breathing, I use
the practice of grounding in your body, doing your scan
and coherent breathing, even rhy meat breathing because it harmonizes
(29:35):
your nervous system. And then when you're there, get out
of pen and paper or and or close your eyes
and right down. There is always more where that came from.
There's always more where that came from. There's always more
than where that came from. I'm infinitely supported. I'm infinitely supported.
I make money at the drop of a hat. It's easy,
it's effortless, and I love it. It's happened, it's happening.
(29:55):
It's easy, it's effortless, and I love it. And you
can be thinking about the thing that you want to
pull in or work towards and when you've done that
enough times and you're in a state of quiet presence
and sentedness in yourself, it's impossible to not begin to
feel that. Impossible unless when you're writing it, you're letting
(30:16):
your mind focus on what you don't have or what
you don't want, Because people will say, as soon as
I feel that thought, I feel freer on my body,
like a fucking bet that you're focusing on that it
wasn't there, or that you couldn't see it, you thought
it wasn't there, because of course it's there. Of course
it's there. It always is. But the mind when I
don't see it, or I don't believe it, or I
don't try. That's why we've got to get into the
(30:37):
body before we do this. I can see you giggling. Yeah, interesting, Yeah, No,
that's exactly what I do. It's a I've been playing
around with this a lot and just recognizing that that
judge in my head he's become that it's a guy.
It's a guy and I named from accident. His name
is Tubby. And he looks like the Michelin man, like
the big yeah marshmallow dude, and and he totally. He's
(31:02):
such an assholt um, but he he is very loud.
Sometimes when I start to move toward the thing of
the new thought or the new the thing of change,
that piece of me has gotten really cunning and very
smart about analyzing everything and that obviously it's not showing
up like it immediately needs like instant gratification or else
(31:24):
it's not going to believe. And yeah, that voice is loud,
and I'm sure so many people get related to that.
And this is why it's and every day thing. You
must do it every I don't want to say you
must do this every day, but when you're starting to
realize that you have depended we we me too. We
(31:47):
all have grown up in a world where we were
encouraged to depend on urline. And that's why you can
hear the controlling part come in. It's not there. It's
not there. And so what I do is encouraged people
too and myself to actually go, oh, you're scared, we're
not going to have enough. Maybe I got you, Like
we're all good, we're doing this, this is what we're
(32:09):
here for. Like I really hear you. I go, I
know you're trying to protect us. I get it. You're
super good at that. You're super good at making sure
we're going to survive. Thank you so much. What we're
going to do now is focus on where we're going,
and we're going to create that energy within ourselves. Now, Okay,
I got you. You're safe. Chill out, because there are
(32:32):
infinite possibilities in the universe right now, and and you're
just fixated on the one that we don't want. And
just like the tree, we're going to hit the tree
if we keep looking at it. So can you come
with me? And I kind of coax it, like just
chill out, you know, because whatever we resist expanse and
if we try and shish that part of ourselves, try
(32:52):
and get away from it, it's going to run faster
and it's going to come at us harder. So I
try to turn towards and then just acknowledge it and
then like after that, don't fit it, you know, like
a little kids like cool. I hear you. I'm present
with you, but I'm not going to keep enabling you. Yeah,
I hear you. Let's go back to what we want
to create within ourselves, because we've depended up here and
(33:13):
we think the only way to get somewhere is if
we figured out how to get there. I think people
think they need to understand it in order to make
it work, but we don't. But the control, the figuring
it all out of having it all the details in
the answer, it's control and the control part of us.
It's the part of the manipulative mind that doesn't actually
(33:34):
understand that whatever it wants is already available and infinite
right now. M So we've got to be compassionate with
that part of ourselves. Does that make sense it doesn't know? Yeah, absolutely,
it makes sense. Something I found that's really helpful for me.
Sometimes it's not only to turn to word it, but
to go straight into it and give it a voice.
I have learned sometimes that actually, for me, that energy
(33:57):
actually needs a voice for a moment to be heard.
And then it starts to dissipate, it starts to get quieter,
or the energy the energy itself because I've moved the
energy all of a sudden, there's freedom in my body
sometimes for me being compassionate, Yes, is I feel like
compassion and sometimes also like I just have to let
(34:20):
it out. I have to let it be an asshole
totally totally. And you know, it might be screaming into
a pillow or like as you hit the ball, or
it could be gosh, anything and you're you're totally right.
Could be tears, could be dance, could be whatever, but yeah,
you're spot on. Yeah. And for me, I mean, what
(34:42):
I've learned is sometimes it needs words. And it's interesting
because when I start to go into that place and
actually give it words, like all of a sudden wants
to hide, like and it has nothing to say. I'm like, oh,
you have planted to say, Hey, you've got the mic,
now come on. Yeah exactly, that's totally it. And it's
like it wants to run away and hide. And I
(35:03):
think that's what's so interesting I've learned about that piece
of me. Is it actually it's scared. There's a that's
all it is. It's it's a I mean, depending on
what it's based around, like for instance, this podcast. For me,
it's it's the fear of being seen fully. It's the
fear of not having it once again. You're saying control,
not the fear of not having control, the fear of
(35:24):
not having it all together. Because like you know, when
I've when I used to when I walk on stage
it's like I've rehearsed, I know what I'm doing, Like
no one sees the process, and so this for me
is interesting because it's people get to hear the process,
and sometimes my process is like thinking and talking as
I'm thinking, so I'm figuring it out. But yeah, no,
(35:45):
that's the I think for a lot of us, the
that control piece isn't not allowed for obviously, the flip
side of that is freedom, and so like we've missed
out on so much freedom. And I mean, for me,
I think that's the ultimate goal is not the right word,
but if there was ever a sense of like what
(36:07):
I'm working toward in my life, I think freedom is
the bigger picture to be able to be sovereign in
in our world, to have to realize we have choice,
because we always do. You know. The illusion about freedom
is that we think we're not already free, right, that's
(36:30):
the part, you know, And again it's just still mental
masturbation of the idea of control's illusion anyway, it's it's
it's a made up construct of ideas and thoughts that
were like if this and this and this and this
and this and this is in place, then I'm okay,
we put conditions around our sense of ability to feel
content and relax. And this is back to aid the
(36:53):
control part, but be the outsourcing. Right when my blue
print of what I think needs to happen in order
for everything to go the way that I needed to
go in order to feel okay, you can see we
put a condition like in order for me to feel joy,
I must this in order for me to feel free,
this has to happen in order for me to do
(37:14):
I remember speaking at this event once and this person
asked me a question around like yeah, but I can't
feel free until my mind stops being quiet, and I
was like, well, you're fucked, because it's never going to
shut up, you know, like in jazz obviously, right I
love I say this all the time, like like life
(37:34):
and presence and bliss, all of this, this, this, this stillness,
this this absolute centeredness within ourselves. That's all what we're
searching for. And it is right here, and right here
is where we're going to take a quick pass, but
we'll be raped back. Welcome back, loaves. We are talking
(38:13):
about uncovering what's already within. Most of my work is
trying to tell, you know, is trying to tell people
to sit down when they're already sitting. It's like you
already have what you're looking for. You just got to
go in and that when you access that and you
choose to tap into that, and you trust that this
idea of control is laughable again, and you've just got
(38:34):
to visit there more than you visit your head m hm.
And then you will begin to build a relationship with
yourself that you abandoned and pushed away for so long.
This work of contacting that part of ourselves it's like
an orgasm. You push too hard, you try too hard,
you stuff it up. You just got to relax, you
know that's funny. Well, the relaxation piece is so interesting
(38:59):
because we haven't been taught to relax, I mean we
it's just the complete opposite. And so it's I mean,
this is all retraining our being, like completely rewiring and
disconnecting from our unhooking. Like I said, from what we've
been taught our whole life. And it's not just what
we've been taught you you mentioned earlier, like the ancestral lineage,
(39:22):
that the things that are passed down within ourselves that
we That was kind of one of my really big
aha moments um when I first started on this journey
that I've been on was no wonder. I feel like
I have all of these these pieces of me, these
energies and me um that aren't mine, like they've always
(39:44):
kind of just felt like there's so much trauma from
from my mother, from her mother, and like how much
gets passed down. It's quite crazy how we have to
start to separate what is mine to be able to
heal all of that um for not only ourselves, but
for our families. Whoever awakens in the family lineage, they
(40:04):
have a big responsibility if they so choose, you know, yeah,
because you can keep passing it down. I mean you can, Okay.
So I have this true belief that healing doesn't have
to be hard and heavy. That for me is my
my choice of how I want to experience life, and
because I want to hold that energy when I go
into process with someone that this doesn't have to be
(40:25):
hard and heavy and respond like responsibility. Yeah, that might
have been the wrong. It's liberating. No, I think it's liberating.
I really do. I think it's so liberating. And when
you were saying it, I was more just reflecting than
anything that I was like yeah, and I think it
should be seen as the way it is, which is
actually ease again with the orgasm, you know metaphor, if
(40:49):
you push, if you try, and like you know, you
get all the things in place. You set it all up.
You've read the stuff you do, the things you say,
the words you act, the way you move your body.
It's robotic, it's all control. But when you actually just
let go and you come back into what you are anyway,
you will know exactly what to do and say and be.
You will know it in your being. It will be
(41:10):
in flow and again, so that's what we're trusting. And
it comes back to that. It's like parts integration when
you're talking about your mom and your lineage, where you
had to meet those parts and greet them. And it's
really what where we can do in our everyday life,
which is when you feel that energy rise up and
it feels really afraid or tension or exhausted or scared
(41:33):
or small or tiny or doubtful or nasty or manipulative, pause,
close your eyes and ask what do you want to say?
Like if you had a voice, what would you say?
If you could speak words, what would you want to say?
And when you allow that part of you or maybe
not part of you. And I think we don't need
(41:54):
to know as long as like, if it's there, it's there,
we do it. M M. You know, as long as
we meet it, we either give it a voice or
we breathe into it, or we just simply acknowledge its
presence instead of like being afraid, we're no longer pushing
anything away. Therefore we won't project anything, because when we're
pushing something away, we're projecting. It happens simultaneously. Like it's
(42:15):
like the it's like standing bow in yoga. You hold
your foot with your hand and you have the other
one out in front of you, and you stretch and pull,
stretch and pull, and if you relax either it will
collapse right your collapse out of the posture. So when
you relax, you're pushing away. You relax your projection at
the same time, and all of your energy comes back
into yourself. And when you've done that, you can see it.
(42:38):
It just comes back in and lands. It's like okay, cool,
we're back, or if it needed to move through it will.
That's a huge piece for me, especially when anxiety raises.
And yeah, the first thing that, and it's taken me
a long time. It's taken a lot of practice to
actually have this accessible to me. When it happens to
allow it in like, that's the first The first thing is,
(43:00):
oh that's here again, Oh welcome, and you can be here.
There's a there's a place for you here at this moment.
And as soon as that happens, then I think my
tools start to come back online. I can start to
work with that energy. Um. But sometimes, yeah, sometimes I
feel like I've built up this whole toolbox, my whole
you know, for the last eight years, and it's like
(43:20):
all of a sudden, everything starts to fire, and um,
I get really triggered, and it's like where did they
all go? Because we get into that really primitive part
of our brain and it's like nothing's really accessible anymore.
And the first, the first thing that I've that makes
those things accessible is to allow, allow, Allow, Allow, Because
you're right, resistance continues the cycle, it continues to keep
(43:43):
it in play totally. Control will always use the buffer
of blame, shame, guilt, criticism, judgment, projection, improving to protect itself.
M hm. So we can there's one thing we know
for sure if we're feeling fiery and triggered, there's a
part of our self that feels afraid. Mhm. So if
(44:03):
we can know anything for sure amongst anything that when
we're like that, there is something in us that needs
our own protection and love. And that's really as simple
as that. We can do that with presents. I like
to make things so simple for people. You can know
for sure right now there's a part of yourself trying
to protect itself. That part of itself is an illusionary idea,
(44:27):
your shadow as an illusion that controls it all. But
we don't need to go into that natural and intellectualize that.
There's just a part of you right now that's trying
to you know, that needs protection and all love, and
we can just do that through presence. Keep coming back,
keep coming back. I love the simplicity of that, And
that's exactly That's exactly what I did this morning. And
(44:48):
it's so funny that you just spoke to exactly what
I was telling myself as I was coming home. I
was talking to my husband about it from tennis, and
I was like, I just kept I just keep reminding
myself come back into the present moment, like into the
present moment and I go, it can't be that easy.
That's literally said to him this morning. I was like,
I can't be easy, and so thank you. You just
(45:10):
like debunked that for me. Yes, it's that easy to
come back like it is, isn't it. I love that.
I'm so glad you shared that. Thank you, because I
want everyone to hear how easy it is. I know
you're going to ask about over consumption, and that's how
it's fucked right, because we're like, we're gonna do all
these things to heal. It's like, actually, just you, our
(45:30):
mind needs to keep being fed. That is what the
mind does. And if we can come back to that
every time, just the simplicity of that is that is
the practice. Really, and now that we've discussed all of this,
what we're telling you is just come back in the presence.
It's just really that exactly. Listen to Leon's new album,
(45:51):
It Will Take Your presence is bloody amazing. Thank you,
thank you, thank you. Speaking of music, I love to
ask people because I think that us it connects so deeply.
What's your song book? Whether that be like in this
moment in time or throughout your life, Like, what are
five what are your holy five songs that you just
like love Jimmy Hendrix, Watchhower, Oh yeah, so good, Queen
(46:22):
Bohemian Rhapsody. I love that you love that song? So
awesome love, I know everyone. That's my karaoke song. Guys
(46:43):
um Um, Red Hot Chili Peppers, other side sad. Oh
that's a good song. I love them. Is there anything
that for the present moment? Yeah, that's what I was like,
(47:06):
Can am I allowed to look at my Spotify spot
if I most played? Okay, okakay, all right, I'm cheating.
The other day I saw my top songs and I
was like, stop, it so good. So it's so great.
I really really love Florence Machine Hunger. Oh yeah, like yeah,
(47:31):
it's it's only new and and it's been on repeat.
I've really loved it. And that's a new one. She's
an amazing life. She's so good. You have to if
you ever get a chance to see her life, she's incredible.
I will. And the other one, oh that I would
put on, I would have to say Gravity by John
made Gravity just work at me. I love that song
(48:03):
so good, very good choices highly I highly agree. It's
so interesting to see what everybody brings to the table
anything with some solid bass guitar or rock and roll,
because I grew up with my dad and he, you know,
grew up listening to Jimmy Hendrix in getting ready for school.
So it's it's like, does something to my nervous system,
which is funny. It settles it in some way immediately, Calm.
(48:26):
I love it. Thank you so much for coming on here.
I so, I'm so grateful for your wisdom, thank you
for sharing it. Thank you for guiding us back to
a place of simplicity. So I think we're all in
desperate need of that at this moment of remembering that.
Thank you so much for having me. Truly, you're so deeply,
profoundly impeccable with what you're doing, how you're showing up,
(48:49):
and it's so inspiring. So I'm really honored to be herely,
thank you. Thank you. All Right, that is it for
this episode. Please share it with anyone you think might
benefit from listening, and I would love to hear from
(49:09):
you too, So leave me a message and a rating
wherever you get your podcasts. On our next Holy Human,
you will meet a man who just might challenge the
way you see our world. And yourself. My dear friend,
Shaman Derek is on a mission to bring the ancient
practice of shamanism to modern times, and he'll share why
he thinks it can change your life too. Listen and
(49:58):
follow Holy Human on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to podcasts. M HM
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