"PULLED FROM THE VIJANTE!" w/ Doug Benson, Brendan Smith and Mikey Kampmann

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Will you accept this Rose? A production of iHeartRadio?
Oh oh my god, so horny. Nobody's using the boom
boom room except for my future task rabbit from my
birthday party? Were you ex literally even with overnight sweets?

(00:21):
Did they just decide it's tacking to show it, that
it's only okay to show the boom Boom room if
it's with the Golden Bachelor. I don't understand. We didn't
even see people like walk in and go ooh, what
a nice bit. We saw them after we saw shoes. Yeah,
we saw shoes. Hello and welcome to the finale of
Bachelor and Paradise. My name is Arte Marine, coming to

(00:42):
you from my bougie garage in Los Angeles, California. You guys,
I can't believe it's December eighth and we're just finishing
Bachelor in Paradise. Normally that's a September affair. But here
we are December eighth, Bachelor and Paradise, and I have
three gentlemen breaking it down for me with me. To
my right is a man with a mustache and a plan.
You know him from our Patreon from as being a

(01:04):
Bravo superfan or Bravo lebrity superfan. You know him from
the Rocktails with Amit Zappa, from the Brando Cast Ladies
and Gentlemen Our friend. Also the executive producer of Bachelor
Silver Lake Brendan Smeth Well.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
So exciting Bachelor in Silver Lake in Paradise. Yes, in
Joshua Tree Colon and Joshua. We just started production. We
took over an abandoned motel, tricked it out, and we
added some airstreams.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
Okay, so we're very excited.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
We have fun twenty five men, women, non binary, polyamorous
people down in the and the desert.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
That's so funny.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
I'll look for love.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Is everybody on ketamine?

Speaker 3 (01:44):
Well, you know it is Bachelor and Silver Lakes.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Okay, Yeah, okay great. Also across from me is a
man that's going to be with us with Brandon at
Sketch Fast. He's I can't even need we could discuss.
I can't. I'm actually star struck. And Laurie is so
disappointed that her future boyfriend is taken right now, which
we can discuss. You know him from the host of
as the host of Dougloves Movies, which I just did

(02:09):
in New York, which was so fun. No, we just
did a Doug's movie interruption. I'm doing Douglove's Movies at
San Francisco's Sketchfest and Dougs. Can I say that?

Speaker 4 (02:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Can I say that?

Speaker 4 (02:18):
Multiverse?

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Am I allowed to say that? Or do you announce
in advance?

Speaker 5 (02:21):
We can surprised.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Okay, then let's cut it out.

Speaker 4 (02:23):
No, don't cut it out because it's a surprise to
people who don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Okay, great, ladies to dinner. I mean, the captain of
the podcast, Doug Benzon.

Speaker 5 (02:33):
I want thank you.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
I want all of your fans and fans of this
show to know that I'm going to be there because, yeah,
this is how crazy the fandom is for your show.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (02:46):
Yeah, I was in a.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
Family arcade in San Antonio, Texas.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
This is exciting.

Speaker 4 (02:53):
Enjoy ski ball or what have you. Yeah, maybe a
Papa shot and then uh, you know, as people do
because they have cocktails there, those kids running around whatever.
Why Yeah, he just backed up into me. I was
kind of like, oh, sorry, excuse me, pardon me, and
I was kind of like, yeah, it's kind of hard
to get through here, you know, So it's no big deal, right,

(03:16):
And then Fifteen minutes later, same lady comes.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Out to me, Okay, great here for this.

Speaker 5 (03:22):
You're Doug Benson, aren't you.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
Yes, yes, I listened to you on the Will you
accept this roll?

Speaker 5 (03:27):
This podcast?

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Shut out to San Antonio skibowld lady, I like in
my mind she backed up with her asked, wiggling, going
backing up like a bus. So I'm like peep or
like did like a.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
Story I made. There's so many beeping noises in there.
That's probably why we collided.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
That's fine. I didn't hear the back and look, you're
beloved on the pod. For those of you who are
newer to the pod, Doug came in during the pandemic
where they were filming it out Lakina, and he loved
it so much he went and stayed at Laquinta, and
that's why he's the captain of the podcast. Also with
us as a man who doesn't know what the right
that he agreed to be on. He's been, he's been.

(04:03):
I did a show with him, I did a stand
up show with him. I did The Peacock Show with
him and he was so funny. And he's been messaging
me about the Golden Bachelor, and I'm always like when
people independently reach out about their love of the franchise.
And I know that you had a lot of thoughts
about the finale, and I want to talk to all
of you gentlemen about the finale. And then I was like,
do you watch Bachelor and Paradise? So we're inviting the

(04:25):
final rookie of the season, the last minute rookie of
the season. Ladies and gentlemen. You know him from Portlandia,
you know him from baskets. He's a brilliant stand up comedian.
Mikey Camtman.

Speaker 6 (04:35):
Wow, Hey, Hi, truly rookie of the year.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
Yeah, you're Rookie of the Year.

Speaker 6 (04:40):
Golden Bachelor was my first ever Bachelor. Now four or five,
seven weeks later, nine weeks later, I'm talking about Bachelor
in Paris.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Okay, No, here's a question. Did you love Golden Bachelor
so much that you hopped onto Paradise?

Speaker 6 (04:56):
I love the energy of Golden Batcher so much that
was like saying yes to the world.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
That's so great. Now, how did you guys all feel
about the finale of the Golden Bachelor? Doug?

Speaker 4 (05:07):
Well, first of all, before I forget to say it.
I just want to mention that I was doing some
research on the Footloose motion pictures as one does you
know when you're doing research for nothing in particular? Sure,
and uh, the song almost Paradise, the very recording of
it is in Footloose.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Wow, I didn't make you.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Footloose? Well, just maybe I saw that movie a ton
of times when it came out. Initially I worked at
a movie theater where it was playing, and uh, but
I never put it together. I always knew that that
was a hit song that they used. There's a corny
hit song.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
That I didn't know that it is from FOOTLSS initially incredible.
There's one degree from Kevin Bacon. That's incredible. Katie Levy
and still said, Anna Anna, doctor Banna is gone. She's
with uh, but she'll be back next year. She's just
been on tour with all the workaholics.

Speaker 5 (06:05):
Guys.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
Did you so? Mike? How did you feel about the
finale of Golden Bachelor?

Speaker 6 (06:10):
I loved it?

Speaker 1 (06:10):
You loved it?

Speaker 5 (06:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (06:11):
I did love it. I mean I was hooting and
hollering in my house like.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
You wanted Teresa of the final two.

Speaker 6 (06:18):
Of the final two, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
Who is your overall pick who is your favorite? Yet?
Who do you want to be Bachelorette?

Speaker 6 (06:23):
I mean I was with Faith and I've been with Faith,
and then I definitely felt like Ellen deserves love Ellen.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
Who would you like to be Bachelorette?

Speaker 5 (06:35):
Doug?

Speaker 4 (06:36):
I liked Ellen a lot. I think Ellen would be good.

Speaker 5 (06:39):
I think really good.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
How did you feel about Teresa but winning? Did you
think they were cute?

Speaker 4 (06:44):
I like with him, you know, and and uh, you know, yeah,
that seems I don't know what a two hour you
think the weddings could be two hours?

Speaker 5 (06:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, you know they're going to bring all the yellow.
It's going to be was a meatball. We're gonna have
the meatball. We're gonna have the bully, We're gonna have farting,
We're gonna have Susan's gonna do the hair.

Speaker 7 (07:05):
You think the whole Bridesmaids are gonna be gonna put
so much money into that because they used the Taylor
Swift song for the commercials multiple time.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
Are you serious? I didn't even that and I was like, oh,
they put money into the Okay, by the way, it's
the most high it's the highest watch franchisees like they've
ever like this is it?

Speaker 5 (07:21):
So do you remember the call Gary Unmarried?

Speaker 1 (07:25):
No? I remember that.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
Yeah, Jay Moore was played Gary and Gary unmarried. Yeah,
but I just think of it every time I hear
of Gary the Bachelor, Gary Married.

Speaker 5 (07:35):
But that's gonna.

Speaker 4 (07:36):
End on January fourth? Is it gonna really be live?
Are they gonna just film it and then?

Speaker 1 (07:41):
But if it was live and like something happened, Oh
my god, that'd be what if it was life? Just
like the Love Is Blind reunion that they fucked up
and that was like, I don't know, how did you
feel about Teresa.

Speaker 3 (07:51):
Well full disclosure.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
I apologize I because I'm so immersed right now in
Southern Charm winter House.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah you're yeah, so that's a lot. You're just mad.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
I just you know, you got to choose your you.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Got to pick your battles. I have to tell you.
Golden Bachelor was so good. I cried eight times watching Well.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
I love the fact that they really stayed out in
the Gore Hills Thousand Oaks area for a lot of
their dates.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
So that was exciting for me early on.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
But now you know what, it opened up a whole
new world for me before we go on, Yes, can they.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
Say one thing very exciting about sitting across the table
from Doug.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yes, obviously, very quick story.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
I think it's the year of our Lord, nineteen ninety eight,
maybe the very beginning of nineteen ninety nine.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Hot.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
I was dating a young woman named Lou Thornton.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
Fun name, feels fake.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
One night, she's like, we're going to go to a
comedy show at the HBO workspace. Okay, and I'm gonna
make you dress up like me. We're gonna go dressed up.
Are you like each other?

Speaker 6 (08:54):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (08:55):
Like to look like you were just like her? She
was just like you, Lou.

Speaker 6 (08:58):
Lou wanted you to dress like her.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
What are you Jean's brown sweater hat?

Speaker 1 (09:03):
That was her.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
We both showed up and it was Doug Benson show
at the old h WOW Seward.

Speaker 3 (09:10):
Okay, and she kind of knew you, I think.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Okay, words and but the look that you gave me
was like, dude, what a failures?

Speaker 3 (09:19):
What are you doing? But but it was it was
you guys.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
Done this podcast together?

Speaker 3 (09:25):
No, No, that's wild.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
You're both such regulars. That's wild. Well, here we go,
let's get going.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
It's very exciting for me to see you.

Speaker 4 (09:31):
Well, that's great, all this, I feel like I could
redeem myself. Maybe what a feeling. I hope you know.

Speaker 5 (09:37):
I'm glad.

Speaker 4 (09:37):
I was very sunglasses today. So if I did give
you that same look you didn't see a quarter.

Speaker 6 (09:41):
Of a century, Yes, exactly, I wil were you four No,
come on man fourteen.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Okay, okay, here you go. But he even felt it
somewhere like software your in high school. He felt the
sting he knew his future friend had just been wounded
by his captain, probably ninety eight.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
You'll feel hell old I am when I make references
to like, oh, this guy reminds me of Spiro Agnews.

Speaker 5 (10:07):
Like that.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
Well, here we are, and we have baby Jess, which
I cannot handle the title baby Jess for grown ass women.
Baby Jess and Mercedes are sulking because their guys are
gone and they just want to like get back. We
just have to like get back. And Jess is sad
because she would put on her outfits for Blake and
she's like, who am I putting on my bikini for today?

(10:31):
Who am I impressing? I mean if that she started
to really lose me. It's like it's like if your
whole thing is just to be admired, Like, but you
didn't actually want to date the guy, pushed him away,
you passed him away, but you liked it when he
admired you and made you feel pretty. It's like she's not, Yeah,
are you.

Speaker 6 (10:50):
Gonna pretend like you don't lie in bed in the
morning and say, like, who am I putting my bikini off.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
Part to the head every morning when I put on
my work bikini, I put on my power shoulders and
my work borcane. It's like, like, you're right, I put
on my best bikini for this task, rabbit.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
Guys, who are gonna work your party?

Speaker 1 (11:04):
You guys? Can we just say I'm having my birthday
party tomorrow night? And every year I get a different
male task, But this year I got a lady because
she's not been and each guy hits on every woman
at the party. There we go, okay, so what did
you think of her? Of baby Jess and her like
I need to be admired bikini, Like.

Speaker 4 (11:24):
What about putting on the bikini for the rest of
the world. She's on a TV show.

Speaker 5 (11:34):
I want to be seen by everybody.

Speaker 4 (11:38):
I cannot get over how they how they all act
like they all act like they were in some sort
of uh you know, dystopian game show where if they
don't fall in love and get married on that island
they're going to they're just gonna perish. And literally like
why why why can't they just go and have fun
and see what happens?

Speaker 3 (11:57):
They all, Oh my god, have to just arguing.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
Over the word engagement, saying.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
I think I already wanted just out of the bat.
They have like the number one win, like the Twitter
of the week to me and what like, I want
to not fuck over this person by doing it this early.
But it was such a really solid point. Okay, so
this was hold on, let me find it. This is
about Kylie, and uh, this was okay. This is from

(12:26):
Shianna Constant, who won last week Trixy Firecracker. Kylie was
so focused on the emoji flirting on Instagram that she
forgot that while he did do Fantasy Suits with Rachel,
they broke up because he wasn't ready to get engaged
at the end of that season. I forgot that too.
I forgot that too. I mean, I mean just the

(12:49):
it's been like four weeks session with that ring. I
mean we've seen it before and before it's it's been
four weeks.

Speaker 7 (12:55):
I hate it because it's like he's saying, I love you,
I want to be with you, I want to be
a real couple with you, and it's like, honestly, you
probably have a way better chance at just leaving us
a couple.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
The ones that get married, the most of the ones
that get married are the ones that don't leave engage exactly.
They just leave us a couple.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
I mean, did you guys slip if you were totally
into somebody and you want it.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
Brandon is asking the Fellaws right now.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
I'm asking the fellows, wouldn't you like write a little
note and slip it to them? So when production wasn't looking,
it was like, like, let's fucking date after the show.

Speaker 6 (13:25):
That's what most of my questions are about. It's about
when when are they what's all the secret stuff that's
going on when the camera's not rolling? You know what
we did see in terms of boom boom room.

Speaker 1 (13:36):
Okay, so they're not using it. So it used to
be we would get like night vision, like so there's
an actual boom boom room that's on the property, and
you had to add it happened after there was like
a consent learning thing. So so then because it used
to be that people get this, I think just could
have sort of fucknt any pull up but that they

(13:58):
wanted and then and then some happened and then they
made it be. So then they made it be like
you have to go like sober say to the producers,
I'm consenting to go in. We both want to go,
and you have to sort of log it in.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
But most seasons there was a massive scandal.

Speaker 1 (14:14):
Okay, we get it. Okay, so so bring it down.
Everybody gets the gist. So like so like the we
would see them be like, oh, who's using them?

Speaker 2 (14:25):
Well?

Speaker 1 (14:26):
And literally there is such a line up like the
couple that got quote unquote married in front of none
of their family and friends when we all know they
got married to Puerto Rico for real, Like yeah, what
the they got married in front of like five people
they've never met before in the chefs at like the
La Ascantina Resort.

Speaker 4 (14:41):
But no more romantic way to spend your wedding right
immediately after the ceremony than giving advice to young couples
your known each other for five weeks at.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
Your rave rave.

Speaker 3 (14:54):
Where the art department just runs out.

Speaker 5 (14:58):
That everybody were.

Speaker 7 (15:03):
So hot, Oh my god, like Anthony, actually, what's wrong
with Jesse, Like why is he so Olivia?

Speaker 1 (15:10):
I felt bad for her because she clearly she was
in some kind of like either a silk dress or
like a silk blend and she had like cross sweat
in the front there for like I wouldn't who wouldn't
like anyway point being there used to be including Marie
and Kenny used to just like Kenny with multiple ladies,
like he basically like lived in the boom boom room
and there was like a rotating cast of like sign up,

(15:32):
sign up. She to like get your time with Kenny
in the boom boom room. No one is even like
it's almost like they shut it like it got condemned,
like the room. I've never even all.

Speaker 7 (15:43):
Kind acted like they weren't sure you know about going
to fantasy like overnight if you like someone like that's
a big part of a relationship.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
It was also like you have the chance to go
like even if you're not just carry like or go
like don't you want a night alone with a person?
Even flirting with all like none of them seemed like
they're act actually yeah, I mean you want the sex,
you can make out, you can do other stukes exactly,
I don't. I don't. Okay, So so Cat and John
Henry get a date, you guys, I mean paddle boarding.

(16:12):
How did Kat become like this narrative? This?

Speaker 4 (16:19):
I like looked at my watch, like this show is
three hours tonight to make way for a cat to
have a lovely date.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
I can't. I got your you don't write the whole
thing out. I sat down and I'm like, are you
like I sat my whole party up alone? You know
what I mean. I'm like, I said the whole fucking
thing up alone. I'm like, are you three hours? You
couldn't just do two? We learned from Bachelor Golden Bachelor.

Speaker 6 (16:46):
Especially as someone. Yeah, strike, I'm here on the scene
in Paradise because of Golden Bachelor. Yeah, and I'm thinking
three hours, Like I want that time back, g B.

Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, yeah, I learned a Golden Bachelor me too. I
think they didn't know the hit that they were going
to have. I think they extended Golden Batch longer than
like what they got.

Speaker 4 (17:04):
As much out of it as they could. I had to,
Like the last week, you're watching the scene where they
had the flash mob and the diner. You're watching that again,
like this show they're stretching.

Speaker 5 (17:19):
Valley.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
But they only because they only started it for eight episodes,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (17:24):
They didn't know they had to stretch.

Speaker 1 (17:27):
They didn't know.

Speaker 6 (17:27):
And then I called Gary John Gary, No.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
Dude, John henry Man, I'll tell you this guy. He
So they're paddleboar boarding with the black bar on her bikini. Ass.

Speaker 3 (17:40):
It's an incredible in season turnaround for somebody.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
I got is unique psycho screaming so loud and you're
confessional that everyone else are on the beach, is like,
we can't have a conversation. Yea, this cat is screaming
so loud, I mean. And then to actually then full circle,
have a moment where I'm like, for you, you know
what I mean, really like, you know what, you moved
out at seventeen, you lived in like a group home.

(18:05):
Like I actually was like, you know what I do?
I wish her well, it's no excuse for a behavior,
but no, she learns from them me too, because I like,
I just fear when you have a temper, you have
a temper.

Speaker 4 (18:18):
She's a dog's got to eat before the other dogs
they might not get any.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Got I see it later she was like being really
friendly with Olivia. I saw that, and I was like,
what is happening?

Speaker 4 (18:27):
All the women have always had her back, even at
her craziest moments. She had always been like how is
She's such good friends with the women?

Speaker 1 (18:35):
But she sucked over And.

Speaker 4 (18:37):
I'm saying, why did none of the women seem to
mind that?

Speaker 1 (18:39):
Must? I mean, like I maybe it was.

Speaker 7 (18:41):
I mean, I would say it was an edit, but
like we know it wasn't an edit, like we saw
her do really mean things.

Speaker 1 (18:47):
That's the thing. You can't say I was edited badly.
When you're breaking things, screaming and going falk you talk
you fuck you, like that's edited with you on Camber
doing that.

Speaker 7 (18:57):
She did post something on Instagram saying that she was
watching it back and was not proud of her behavior.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
She did this in the main season.

Speaker 7 (19:05):
I know, I know, And so that I'm hoping she learns.
Maybe John Henry, he seems so chill, maybe together they.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
Look like a couple.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
They actually he looks like a quarterback who played it Purdue,
And that was it.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
It was all right, and then that's his lady.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Honestly, like they were uniforms match.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
I was happy they got engaged. Is that crazy?

Speaker 2 (19:27):
By the way, I said that on the Wells Show
where we had Wells. I picked them to go the
Discs and he did a mislead by basically saying, you're
all wrong, right, Well, to protect the franchise, right, he
had to protect the franchise.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
We didn't have enough Wells last night.

Speaker 5 (19:47):
Well of deceit if you ask me.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah, there's the well that's there. So they go on
the date and he was like, I like that. You're
really tough on the outside, but a gooey interior on
Like you like it Now she's not screaming at you
and breaking the pinata and like, like, it's fine until
it explodes at you. Have you ever dated a person
with a temper.

Speaker 6 (20:09):
That pulls her hair like she does?

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Oh the hair pull It's differently when Jess, when Jess
was twirling. Uh remember when Jess was playing with Mercedes
hair at the bar. That was weird.

Speaker 4 (20:22):
That was a really weird moment.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yea, the cat's hair trol. Have you dated a rager Nike?

Speaker 6 (20:27):
No, well that's well not up front.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
But then it turned into a rager of course, everybody has,
have you did?

Speaker 5 (20:40):
I was raised I.

Speaker 3 (20:42):
Know, I see that coming from a mile away.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
I was raised by I was raised by a ranger too.

Speaker 3 (20:52):
Is like to get a toaster thrown any of that
kind of like we're.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
Up, Yeah I can't.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
Nice to meet you, lady.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Yeah, nice to meet you. Okay. So then she's like,
I like how supportive you are? Oh, he goes, he goes.
I love how caring and supportive you are. You have
a tough shell, and I love that. She's like, you know,
and she's like, I do put on an exterior hard shell,
but I've had some adversity. I want to change generational trauma.
I mean, that's actually like a good thing. My dad

(21:24):
had four wives. I moved out when I was seventeen.
I lived in a group home. I didn't speak to
my family. I was embarrassed and I wanted to predict,
you know what, all that stuff I can understand. And
that's actually like that sounds like really hard and you've
been really awful to everybody. It's still hurt people, hurt
people people.

Speaker 3 (21:40):
The trauma bonding conversation, it's a it's an important one.
It's a classic cris right after the drug conversation.

Speaker 1 (21:46):
Which is what what's a drug conversation?

Speaker 3 (21:48):
What's the hardest drugs you've ever done? Kind of thing
where you.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
Sit down, I've never let a couple of mushrooms. What's
the hardest drug you've ever done?

Speaker 3 (21:55):
LSD?

Speaker 1 (21:55):
Probably, what's the hardest drug you've ever done?

Speaker 6 (21:58):
Well? Uh, this I had like a It was like
a bunch of numbers and letters combined together. Oh you
know what I mean, like a designer run where you're like.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
I took LSD alone Metallica in nineteen ninety one at
the Forum Wow, and at one point during the show,
I thought that they were teaching us how to go
out and basically conquer Santa Monica. After the show, we're
all going to leave the Forum as one unit and
like literally go.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
And go like a third stream problem what they.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
Were asking me to do.

Speaker 4 (22:37):
Did you see the tour where they pretended that all
everything broke down, like there was like an accident on
stage and a guy runs across on fire. Like the
amount of time I was so high, The amount of
time I was believing what was happening was way too long.
So embarrassing once you realize, but even once you realize
it's still like so exciting.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
That's fun.

Speaker 4 (23:00):
The theatrically weird thing happened, especially back then, you didn't
get it spoiled on Twitter.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
What's your heartest dug drugs? Drunk dog drug? Was your
heart ist drug?

Speaker 5 (23:11):
Just like rooms or Katie.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
I've only ever weed.

Speaker 7 (23:15):
I spoke something laced ones though, and I don't know
what it was laced with, and it fucked me apart.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
I've I had a couple. I had a little nibble
once of a mushroom chocolate bar, but like so small
weed and I'm not good at it. So then he said, listen,
seven years ago, I had depression. I never told anybody,
but you make me feel very comfortable. It feels safe
to tell. I'm like, I don't mean to be a
little haven't we all had depression? Like seven years ago

(23:41):
last Tuesday? What are you talking about? Wow? But maybe
I mean a lot of men will in a minute.

Speaker 6 (23:46):
Okay, you're right, Henry is special.

Speaker 5 (23:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (23:49):
He immediately pats himself on the back for admitting it.
So that's uh, took a lot of strength.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
He see the first dude to.

Speaker 8 (24:02):
See the first dude on the on the Kenny Kenny
had like I believe in American flag, like like rooster
cock down to the dick.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Dick, he had a full sleeve. He might be the
only one he had, like star like stars and stripes
down to a rooster cock that went down into his.

Speaker 5 (24:25):
So no, all right, I got it. Really awesome chair.

Speaker 3 (24:34):
We're going to have a party, so you know what
is again.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
So then he goes, she said he She said, I
don't have any intention like of not leaving here with you,
and he goes, you moving out at seventeen is my
new favorite thing about you. And then he said, I
can see a potential engagement. And she says, he sees
me how I want to be seen by my person.

(25:01):
I gotta tell you, as awful as she's been, I
found them cute and I was happy for that. And
I think they'll I think he'll he will balance her out. Agreed.
And they seem like, I mean, like just judging from
like what it seems like they're doing well. Yeah, I know,
and that they were both their pictures they seem like
also without being like where's the engagement like that, they

(25:22):
were both like yeah, that's cool, exploring things. Yeah, no, wait,
they got engaged. They kind engaged, but like they're not rushing. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:30):
Favorite thing about her though.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
I think maybe because she was like the thing that
her wound is like beautiful, that she told him maybe
like that that she was brave enough.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
He means the specific act of leaving home at seventeen.

Speaker 5 (25:44):
Yet he loves about her.

Speaker 4 (25:46):
He likes he wants somebody.

Speaker 5 (25:48):
Impulsive, okay, and also easy to break up with, because
he's got to see the riding on the wall that
they're the first argument they have, she's going.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
To be uh girl, you know, Pike and gone girl.

Speaker 4 (26:04):
He has to have seen the show by now, like
all the stuff that you know, all of her diary
room scenes.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (26:12):
Yeah, It is interesting that because they're both seemed pretty dumb,
I mean right right, and yet somehow they in this
scene together they delivered the most substance of the entire season.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
You know what's fascinating. I love that you came in
hot from Golden Bachelor to Paradise not knowing who any
of these players are. That's a very astute I like
the fresh eyes of our newest rookie. Like, that's true.
That is the most astute conversation.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
The rest of us have been sucked in the hot
people world where the rules.

Speaker 3 (26:50):
Are a little bit different.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
Yeah, Mike, he's hearing fresh eyes. Okay, well we'll be
talking about them later. We're gonna take a quick break
and we'll be right back. An we're back. So we

(27:13):
have Jess and Tanner. They're playing with the dog. Tanner
just seems like he was like it's wild, like all
these people that were pursued, he was like the fuck boy,
he should have just stuck with the one that with
the two eye colors that he lifted up, Like Mikey, it's.

Speaker 6 (27:29):
The irony that all he got from coming to Paradise
was Tanner.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
Yeah, yeah he did. He just got Tanner.

Speaker 6 (27:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (27:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (27:38):
He has no rids, he has no game.

Speaker 1 (27:40):
He has no good Like watching that. I think this
is like just like a tall white guy who's probably
just been hit on in a manner like he's probably
had to have no game his entire life because he's
like a tall white guy.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
Yeah, and as a dude from Pittsburgh, I was I
was rooting for Tanner, but he disappointed me.

Speaker 4 (27:58):
He like with the two colored eye. Lady Davia davia
Alli would talk about with her and to other people
about her was her goddamn eyes. That was all he had,
Like he was he's not a guy who's interested in
people and able to give that back to them.

Speaker 1 (28:18):
In some ways just as the perfect person because it's
like I like your bikini, you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (28:23):
Yeah, he should have been with her the line somehow.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
And like he was so clearly just wanting to be
on for like fame and women sliding into his dms
after like he just he got he would revealed he
should have just stuck with Rachel or Davia and just
like stayed the course and he did it.

Speaker 6 (28:44):
Is there some insight on Davia? Why did she come
and go?

Speaker 1 (28:48):
She wasn't Here's unfortunately, I think a lot of these
people are so insecure that if you don't have status
in the franchise, so like she got cut like very
early on on her season. So I think for a
lot of people, if you don't have some kind of
a lot of followers from it, or you didn't make
it really far, they they want to pair up with

(29:08):
the high status people.

Speaker 7 (29:10):
The only person bringing them with John Henry, who was
cut night one and then came in and grocery store
John and they but like John Henry, this season comes
in and every woman that's like John Henry, they were
up by the way he was cute kid.

Speaker 5 (29:24):
Johnny wouldn't have gone nearly.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Listen, Doug Kevin. You know that Doug Kevin knows very
well what that's like. So then Aaron and Eliza get
a date, which we'll get to. Kylie knows that Avan
is the one and she wants to get engaged. She's discouraged.
So Aaron and Eliza go have a smoke ceremony with

(29:49):
this beautiful shaman and they have to do a fire
ceremony and it just felt like, look, she let herself
get capped shared last year she did. You can tell
she's not. She looks like a hostage situ, like blink.
She's like like like just willing herself. It's happening again

(30:11):
because she's so pretty that I think what he's like,
I like your skin, your smile, like it's nothing about
her inside. It's like you're a beautiful doll. And also
like I think she didn't want because.

Speaker 7 (30:24):
Last season she fucked over Rodney and the audience and
everyone there turned against her because they liked Rodney so much.
I think this season she's like, I'm not gonna do that.
Everyone's gonna love me this season, and I think that
influenced a lot of her decisions, which was unfortunate because
I really wish she had listened to her heart, because
I think she knew maybe she wasn't you know, maybe they.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Aren't right for each other, and you're trying to push
the voices down in her head. So they did the
smoke ceremony and she's They're like, so, what are your
fears in a relationship and he's like, rejection. Rejection is
of fear choosing someone not getting to back, and she's like,
I hear that. And he's like, I want jubulant, everlasting

(31:05):
love and I see an engagement with you. And then
her reply was are you being so serious? That's not
and I'm excited. That's like a people pleasing trying to
seem happy but not able to say it back.

Speaker 5 (31:20):
Yeah, she goes, she's smiling pretty big when she says.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
It, though, I know, but that's a nervous people please her.
I'm wired like that, where so it's like, are you
being so serious? And then she's panicking because she's like,
you have to say something. So she's like, I am
falling for you too. I would I would say the
same thing on this show. And it's like, I mean
not like twenty two year old me would have been
not looking like Eliza, but but feeling like Eliza if

(31:47):
I didn't want to be with somebody and I wouldn't
know how to get out of it. And then she's like,
I feel the same thing. Cure I can't, I can't,
And yeah.

Speaker 6 (31:56):
He's like eggs, bagel.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yeah, eggs, well done, well done. Mangoes sometimes sometimes oh
my god, so serious. It's giving breakfast, it's giving eggs,
it's giving life, it's giving engagement, it's giving panic, it's
giving Stockholm syndrome. Doug, what did you think of this date?

Speaker 4 (32:23):
It's giving tree? I yeah, I didn't. A three hour
finale episode. Shouldn't have dates, you know where it's where
they're going through all those kind of date motions, you know,
like here's your activity, you know, maybe take them somewhere
really cool, but then have them have a real discussion.

Speaker 1 (32:45):
Yeah, or like having or like have like fam your
families are here, you know what I mean, Like this
is her sister. You're like like like if you're about
to get engaged, it's been like three weeks at Club med, like,
are they.

Speaker 4 (32:59):
Gonna edit the show more like Survivor, where like you
know a tribal council, you really don't.

Speaker 5 (33:05):
Know which way it's gonna go sometimes.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
And last night you just had a feeling about all
the couples that everyone's just gonna be like we got
our TV time and I was just skate out of
here and it really had a relationship for a respectable
amount of time so we can build our instagrams.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
I mean, I love this franchise. I love this version,
and this was I think the worst season they've ever
It was actually the worst season. It was just like
Bory it was and it was fake.

Speaker 4 (33:33):
Was the highlight really because it did feel like it
was so dramatic about it.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
It felt like influencer camp.

Speaker 7 (33:39):
Yes, felt like there was no relationship like Jaden Tanner
or I know Brandon Serene did break up, but like
their relationship like they really did, like grocery store Joe.

Speaker 4 (33:50):
Any like threat threats amongst the men, like hardly any.

Speaker 7 (33:54):
Fights Carly and Evan, like there just wasn't that, Like
nobody seemed to connect.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
Did you like it? Brendan?

Speaker 5 (34:02):
Wow?

Speaker 4 (34:02):
What a festome they didn't even together this time either.
The bros didn't seem as tight as they are sometimes.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
Yeah, I know, it's that's fascinating analysis.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
What did you What did you say?

Speaker 9 (34:14):
Well?

Speaker 3 (34:14):
I always think.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
It's influencer camp. I always feel it's hot people world.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
I mean, we're not interesting.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
Did you watch the whole I.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
Did watch the whole season. Maybe I'm just so used
to Bravo because because because the level of conflict is
like ten times lower than it is on Bravo, where
everyone is coked up and hammered the entire time. On Klonipin, yeah,
just zonked out everything.

Speaker 4 (34:44):
And they know they're not interesting unless they are raising
their voice exactly. You know, they know that's what everybody's there.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
For exactly, And so sometimes when someone does that, like
I feel like for this entire season, Mercedes went to
reality TV school before or again going on Bachelor in Paradise.
She knows how to like play it up at times,
but it was it was casual. Yeah, Cat did, but
by design because she was forged in fire. I mean,

(35:13):
can you imagine being seventeen and the kind of home
that she was in.

Speaker 3 (35:16):
I'm sure that was fucking ky.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
I love that about her that.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
Her conclusions bring Cat onto the next season of Summerhouse,
Andy Cohen.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
If you're listening, it would be good. She would be great,
and because she is hot, and I bet she loves
a cocktail.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
Unless she and John Henry last. There's a couple I
would have that would be kind of funny if they
were like the only couple that really did last. It's
night actually might have a chance.

Speaker 4 (35:43):
They might they match, she could both go on the challenge.

Speaker 6 (35:46):
Yeah, people live in San Diego.

Speaker 4 (35:49):
Yeah Diego, Newport Contested Farm.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
It used to be Nashville and now is moved. They've
moved your headquarters from Nashville to sandyag. We have to
do a show. Yeah, we know an American comedy club
right in the Gasolin. They can all come. Henry Cub,
I've seen people throw up in like girls in black
dresses throw up into trash cans walking home. When I
did stand up there walking home to my hotel.

Speaker 6 (36:15):
Season was season seven. She was on you know, like
that person throwing up over theres on season three.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
There are buses around the South that move hot people
to San Diego.

Speaker 1 (36:25):
How do people actually like I don't know that their
engagement is so high anymore? Like, how do they pay
their rent? Like, I don't know. I don't think it's
what it used to be. I don't know. How do
they actually pay for.

Speaker 3 (36:40):
Themselves social media money?

Speaker 5 (36:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (36:43):
Well, I mean some of them still have real jobs,
Like I could see John Henry being like, no, I
still like welding underwater. I guess in San Diego you
could weld underwater.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
I cut you off when you said but they started
with money?

Speaker 4 (36:54):
Yeah, come from Yeah, I mean I think Cat's story
is kind of.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Uh, they're rich.

Speaker 4 (37:00):
Yeah, I don't thinking.

Speaker 6 (37:02):
Are you gonna get your and I mention.

Speaker 4 (37:03):
Those people she ran out on at seventeen probably did
have money. Ask our parents because they were too poor.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (37:10):
I was gonna ask you if you're gonna get your
ears pierced before you meet Braydon.

Speaker 5 (37:17):
Feel like I should you clip on my.

Speaker 4 (37:21):
It's like going to the library and not having a bookshew.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Can I discuss the fact that he is our king
is so savvy that he is dating Mandrell? Brilliant cock.
If you want to stay relevant while getting kicked off
of Paradise, hooking up a Mandrell was a genius move.
When I saw that, I was like, I'm sorry he's dating.
That makes it. At first I was like what, and
then he better bring her to the live show.

Speaker 4 (37:48):
Where does he live, Sandy? He still lives in city.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
She lives in Nashville. Nashville, that's your capital.

Speaker 5 (37:56):
How do they make that work? The Southwest have a
direg force.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
There's a bachelor shuttle that goes back and forth between
Nashville and San Diego.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
Yeah, there is.

Speaker 1 (38:05):
Maybe she moved to San Diego. I could see that
she might have moved to see Maybe she realized they
were posting photos on a boat and that felt like
San Diego. Yeah, And I like how they also at
the very end, they're like Brandon almost died off the
coast and it.

Speaker 6 (38:19):
Was so quick.

Speaker 7 (38:20):
So he and the fire fire, Aaron, who looked stick
another one of their friends. They were on a boat
and they were fishing and the line got wrapped around
like the rudder or as part of the engine, and
it like almost like capsized the boat somehow, and it
sunk and they were treading water for hours, and apparently

(38:42):
it was Braden's military training that helped save them. And
then somebody went on the boat. They were miles off
the coast and they were just treading water.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
That's hard to treading water.

Speaker 4 (38:53):
They might jackets don't swallow water.

Speaker 7 (38:57):
A boat that was like far away just saw something
shiny and was like, oh, what's that? And they come
over and it was them, and they've been the shiny chest.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
It was just as glitter all. It's crazy though, crazy.
I mean, I'm glad they didn't die. That's not scared,
of course. So now any final things with are you
being so serious before we go? Like the the one
on one date with Aaron and Eliza? Are you being

(39:29):
so serious right now?

Speaker 3 (39:30):
Look? I got sucked into them.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
I believe, I mean as much as you can believe
in a couple out of paradise.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
She didn't seem happy. You thought she seemed happy.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
No, I think that they seem it's nerves. You're coming
into the final deal and they're both aware because you
know everyone around them, the fucking pa with the computer
hooked up to his chest and the whole thing like
they're coming down to an engagement.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
And they've known eed to them for two weeks exactly.
So that's like a Sandals handle. The port of Artist handles.

Speaker 4 (40:02):
At one point during their journey, a former bachelorette showed
up specifically to stir up ship. Yeah. Oh he wasn't
even really there. Oh, yes, stirred up some fake ship.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (40:15):
So they've been through a lot those two.

Speaker 5 (40:17):
It's been a rough five weeks.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
But we did see that it's not going well. Yes, okay,
that was interesting. Well, okay, let's just keep We'll just
stay on that. There, we do a couple of the couple. Okay,
so well we'll have to come back, but I have
rented out order right then, we'll keep going. So now
we come back. Jess is playing with Mercedes Braid talking
at the bar. That was imagine if I was sitting

(40:41):
here just hanging on like a horse Braid and.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
The way she was staring off it really just seemed
like she was like getting her close up in a
Sofia Coppola movie or something. She just had such a
weird expression on her face. And then Kat saysiting to her,
I thought I thought her and Cat were gonna fight.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
I know, she was like hey, she was like no,
She's like, are you sure? Like no Cat now? And
I was like, what happened?

Speaker 4 (41:06):
Yeah? It was so weird to Cat, which you know
is you can't say it's unjustified because Cat's so strange, but.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
Still so Jess doesn't want to talk to Cat. She
leaves and starts crying, and like her narrative, She's like,
this just never works out for me. I'm like, you
got it your own way.

Speaker 6 (41:25):
Dudeh TMC too much crying.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
Ts CDFC too much crying? Dog? Did you have to leave?

Speaker 4 (41:34):
One of the ten dudes she met over that fake
summer late summer, Uh, didn't become the man she's gonna
marry and her children.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
She brought her engagement dress, She brought her bikinis to
wow them.

Speaker 6 (41:48):
Yeah, like Leslie wrote my vowels out, Psycho.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
Yeah wrote out the vowels Yeah, just like you.

Speaker 4 (41:55):
Just put the bikini stumach for minutes at a time.

Speaker 6 (41:59):
You don't need an over complicate this. Just put the bikini,
not the.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
Bikini, and put the glitter on and just going to
a walk.

Speaker 4 (42:05):
Ab glitter this season you never see it happening, but
you just was there.

Speaker 5 (42:09):
All the time.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
The glitter was a lot.

Speaker 6 (42:13):
The patches of.

Speaker 4 (42:14):
Glitters just like just doesn't look like they were dirty.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
Are you gonna work litter to my birthday party? If
you insist I do, or at least at the live
show at Sketch Fez. Meanwhile, Jess Jess pulls Tanner and
is pouting Baby Jess. She's like, I'm want to be
at home. I want to go home. So then she
leaves and everyone starts sobbing, as if they're surprised that

(42:39):
there's an end date to Paradise. It's like, what is
even happening right now? You're like, you knew contractually was
going to end you June third, so like it's June second.
Why are you crying? Being like like parodies is falling apart.

Speaker 4 (42:52):
They're sad because she is free. She's not stuck with
somebody that she has to pretend to be in a
relationship for.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
They're afraid she got out out of town. You got out.
So everybody's crying. There's tears, they're crying. Tanner's leaving. Everybody's
like like people like would she love sobbing? Like it's
like theater camp and somebody didn't get to be Jesus
Christ superstar. They gave it, you know, people didn't their

(43:19):
background again, they're not Mary Magdalene. It's just like it's
too much, Doug.

Speaker 4 (43:24):
I didn't get to say goodbye. It's like, oh, they're
always saying that on these shows.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
You're gonna see them back at the Hyatt in four seconds, Brenda.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
Do we know, Katie?

Speaker 2 (43:35):
Do we know if people actually if like production picks
you up in the van. Steve from Transportation picks you
up and takes you to the airport, which is nicer.

Speaker 4 (43:49):
Take me to the van and go get your ship
from your room. Like they used to make it look
like they're just the in a van, you know.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Taking a secondary low key asia, just get in the
back of the veil. I think they go to the
Verdonta for like, by the way, I do want to
get air conditioning. They've got a nice bed.

Speaker 6 (44:09):
Blake left, right, you know. And then he goes to
the Verdonta for presumably a couple of days, right, maybe
has boom boom room with his ex fiance. Yeah, maybe,
and then comes back and it's like, I'll be the
best man for an afternoon.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
Good, that's a good situation.

Speaker 4 (44:30):
I think it's like a bullpen and they just keep
all the cast members around until they're done shooting.

Speaker 5 (44:35):
You can't bring anybody.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
Back if they need to, Like Blake, they needed Blake
and that's where they are before they come into you know,
let's go, let's take a quick break and we're going
to come back and we're going to talk about somebody
that they pulled from the Verdonta. What is your fantasy you?

(45:03):
And we're back. So here we are.

Speaker 4 (45:06):
Pulled from the Dana, pulled do tell this summer?

Speaker 1 (45:10):
So Kylie pulled from the Danna.

Speaker 6 (45:13):
I pulled from.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
Him at the Palapa. He's been pulled from the Vedanta.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
The new album from.

Speaker 6 (45:22):
Pulled the.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
Gazaota. That's the boom boom room at the dandas the Vegas.

Speaker 5 (45:38):
Love to make up whereds.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
Then Kylie is now in tears. She's like, anything can
happen in Paradise. I brought a dress for my engagement.
She also brought an engagement dress. Baby Jess has her
engagement dress. She's like, we are not on the same page.
So she pulls Avan who I love that our girl.
Cheyenne reminded us that he would not propose to Rachel

(46:02):
and that's I forgot you. Why did he say that
to her face? He should have and like, and do
you remember I wasn't And that's why we broke up.
And she's like, how are you feeling? And he's like
he was so logical. He's like, why is it engagement? Specifically?
Why can't I just tell you that I don't want
to leave here without you? And she and she's like

(46:24):
it sucks, but whatever, and she's like, she's like, when
are you even going to be ready? He's almost thirty.
I'm like, you've never that's so young and even known.

Speaker 6 (46:33):
Him for forty Yeah, Like it's a red flag that
you haven't engaged to someone you've known for six and
a half hours.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
Yeah, I've read her twenty nine so that's a real
red flag. And she's like, he's like and then he's like,
she goes, I feel like I'm holding onto a false hope,
so poudy so like she's like, she's like, he said,
I didn't know that you wanted it so badly. And
then he pounts and he storms off, and he's like,

(46:59):
I'm going to I don't love a storm off. No, no, either,
he should have.

Speaker 7 (47:04):
But I mean also like he's trying to reason with
her and she just cannot be recent.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
No, she's not listening.

Speaker 7 (47:10):
She is just like, unless you put a ring on
my finger, I am going to cry for the rest
of my life.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
Yeah, and she's I think because she's so pretty. It's
probably worked like in the past. And it's like, you
can't cry your way to it. You don't. Do you
really want to get engaged to somebody that you had
to cry your way to force them to propose, right?
I mean it's crazy, Doug. Can I cry my way
to an engagement with you? Tomorrow night on my birthday party,
I'll just be like, get back out on that dance, Okay, Okay,

(47:40):
she goes, I want an engagement. I know it's him.
Oh my god, and he goes, it's always about the
fucking ring. He's getting a little feisty. Did you think
he was too heated, Mikey.

Speaker 6 (47:53):
No, I don't think he was too heated at all.
I think he was logical. I think his major concern
right now is whether his legs, both their legs will
work at the end of the show, because they've been
laying on a day bed.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Yeah, they've been.

Speaker 6 (48:05):
Four weeks.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Like grandparents. Tonight, I'm polloop, I'll be at the Visonta.
Oh my god, Kylie goes, I'm sick to my stomach. Meanwhile,
they wake up and Kenny and Maury, who I love.

(48:29):
They do a fake wedding with Kenny and Maury. They
got married in Puerto Rico, like a proper weddo, but
they had this fake wedding where there's not even pretending
to have any family members. Mariachis Mariachi's and the chefs
and their chef's hat, sweaty, sweaty. Jesse Palmer coming down
and she's like this. Kylie goes, this is a hard day.

(48:51):
She goes, wait a minute, Blake's here. After she ran
out blaky, but I'm asking you don't go it's me,
don't I was like, if I was even I wouldn't
really want to watch. I called it though.

Speaker 7 (49:06):
I was like, I bet you, because I noticed Blake
was talking to a lot of the women, so I
was like, he's a good sounding board.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
He's like that it's horny. It was horny. But did
we show her horny? Though? Yes, it was? Oh, I
didn't think so this episode, hers was so horny they
pulled him in the vedanta because she could see her.

Speaker 4 (49:24):
Felt like it was gonna be horny, and I thought, well,
this woman's really out of control. That Katie's right, she
was just she really did just.

Speaker 5 (49:31):
Use them as a sounding board. Show just used him
as you know, pulled from the boring episode, so at
least trot blake out.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
I really felt like there was Do you do you
feel like there was some horning? Is there mikey on
who's part Kylie Kyl? Yeah? I felt like I just
felt like he's a good listener. I felt like she
was horny.

Speaker 5 (49:52):
She to whine to somebody and he was hot looking.

Speaker 7 (49:55):
She wanted a hot guy here and he'll be like okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
And I think.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
It doesn't make good of Do you think she was
horny for him?

Speaker 3 (50:03):
No?

Speaker 2 (50:04):
I agree with everything that's been said on the table.
I also think what Doug made an earlier point about
her creating steaks that didn't have to be there and
even just trying to, you know, communicate to her in
morse code through blinking like pump the brakes. Yeah, let's
just assume that we met at a nightclub and we're
just gonna try it out for a couple of weeks.

Speaker 1 (50:25):
Also, there's nothing less attractive than somebody pushing you into
something you don't want to do.

Speaker 3 (50:31):
Right.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
It makes you to be like, you know what, I
don't like if somebody's I get so rebellious and so
independent that if somebody's trying to force me to do
you will never see me again. Like it's just like
if somebody's pushing you into it.

Speaker 4 (50:46):
I think also Kylie is so affected by Blake and
Justs and various people not working out because she's more
comfortable in her relationship if it's all just a bunch
of happy couples together. Now she's seeing that, like, oh,
all of these things that I thought were solid are
falling apart. So what's what am I going to do

(51:07):
with this guy? We've both already got different friends. We're
not going to all leave here together?

Speaker 1 (51:14):
Right?

Speaker 6 (51:14):
Right?

Speaker 5 (51:15):
Right?

Speaker 6 (51:15):
Do you think Kylie and Blake would make a nice couple?

Speaker 5 (51:17):
Though?

Speaker 1 (51:17):
I agree, Yeah, I agree. I mean he's horny. They
used to have to like bar out like they did
like an art project, and he got like such a
boner that they had to put like a black bar
over his pants. He's like notoriously been like the he
like jerking off in the He was the guy that

(51:38):
was like talking about jerking off in the shower like
twice a day, and the man shit like he was
known for being just horny, and he calmed down this
season way more. This is like his seventh go round
on this franchise. The first six he was a dick parade, right.

Speaker 4 (51:56):
Well, also just moving for Bachelorette to Bachelorette because that
was that chaotics.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Yeah, and where there was multiple Claire and Tashia. Yeah, no, no,
he was Katie.

Speaker 5 (52:06):
He was Katie Katy.

Speaker 6 (52:10):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
He did three and give that's right, that's oh my god.

Speaker 3 (52:15):
So then but not good enough to be the bachelor.

Speaker 5 (52:18):
So strange, isn't it?

Speaker 1 (52:20):
Because he's a Canadian? Do they not want a Canadian bachelor?
Maybe he didn't want it. They really like he might
have been too horning. They like really like, don't worry America,
He's not gonna suck your daughter like they were like
slightly neutered leaves.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
He's an evil prince. He's got an element of evil princes.

Speaker 1 (52:39):
Yeah, he's yeah a little bit. He's gotten more handsome,
he has.

Speaker 7 (52:43):
And I mean I like him because he does all
this animal and wildlife conservations.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
Yea, but I really liked him this season. I was like, oh,
I hope he meets someone, and you know, well, I
thought Marie and Kenny were really cute. They were cute
and then they accepted it, loved each other for their flaws.
They refused to give up. So this was all for
Kylie and Avan, that's the whole thing. They pulled them
from the Verdonza, they pulled Blake from the Vedanta. Everybody

(53:09):
got put on ice for years at the Vedanta, and
it was like, let's just go say like, yeah, don't
give up, just fight for it. You're never gonna be
one hundred percent. Just get engaged, like that's what this was.
Let's fake a marriage. Who will agree to do this
a free vacation. It's like exactly, so the more time together,
the more I'm in love with you. Kylie's like, I

(53:31):
feel numb. She was excited to see Blake. Blake at
the rave reception was in short shorts and the only
thing that Will said was like, hide your dick basically anyway,
hide your mouse. Mouse, and there's a mouse of the
house and there's a rat. So so, but when Kylie
sat down with Blake, she hit him with her wand

(53:54):
you left me. I can't feel like it's more of
like a little sister thing. Email us, let us know,
email us. I would not want my girl. Oh god,
I don't. I just think that she. I mean, it
was sort of like my mind was a little bit
of like I hit the boy. I like, you know,

(54:16):
I think she can.

Speaker 7 (54:17):
See him as an attractive guy, but the sexual attraction
isn't there, And he was.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
A little bit list. I think he's a backup plan.
I think he's a backup plan.

Speaker 6 (54:25):
He's playing b Yeah, I feel like removed from the
situation where we're watching the future unfold kind of what
do you mean? But they're gonna in San Diego, They're
gonna get together.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:38):
Wow, he's had two insights. He had that and then
he had Blake in the past, bad Claret, Mikey very insightful. Meanwhile,
Kylie goes it just makes me feel like, am I enough?
I mean, it'sitsipating rejections, like yeah, you're enough. It's been

(54:59):
three days, Like this is no value system on you.
There's no judgment on who you are as a person.
So she's like, even goes, I am falling in love
with you. I just need more time before I can
take the next step. And she's like the engagement just
solidifies so many of things, and this just makes me
have doubts. I'm disappointed. She was so desperate. It was brutal.

(55:25):
It was brutal. What do you you're buying tickets? Britton?
What are you buying tickets for it?

Speaker 2 (55:28):
Well, it's the Cruel World festival that's coming up in
Pasadena in the summer of twenty twenty four, and it's
an incredible lineup of some of the classic Gen X
new wave bands, those bands that we listened to.

Speaker 3 (55:41):
When we were in high school.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
Durand Ran, Blondie, the Stranglers, the Alarm, Interpol is going
to be playing who.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
Else, Adamant, Simple Minds. It's gonna be a lot of fun.

Speaker 4 (55:51):
But hey, they do it every night in one city.

Speaker 3 (55:54):
One night in one city.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
What city night?

Speaker 6 (55:58):
Pasadena, California welcomes the Cruel World. First of all, wow, that.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
Is a phenomenal question. And I baby don't.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
Yeah, Okay, here we are. So she's like, so basically
they're like, uh, Jordan and Mercedes Felt, no sparks. People
are like, people are dropping like fly. This is when
people start acting like, oh my god, guys, what's happening.
They're dropping like flies. Price is over. So then they're like, Okay, well, guys,

(56:34):
it's time. Are you gonna leave here spending the night
as like and then possibly getting engaged? Or are you
gonna break up or like like or basically are you
spending the night in going to Neelane who we didn't
see Katie, poor Neilane, and we didn't see him daring Golden.
I knows why we saw him in the audience. But
so Aaron's like, fantasy, sweeter go. Aaron says to Eliza,

(56:58):
let's do this, let's do this to the engagement. She's like,
uh huh, Kylie and Aven She's like, if you're so
sure about me, what's the disconnect? I'm embarrassed. I felt
safe with you, but like bothers me, you can't have
an open mind. You were willing to do an engagement
fantasy with Rachel, Like not true? And then he goes,

(57:22):
if we don't get engaged, are we done? She goes,
I know it's you. And then he's like, how is
that not enough? I want to go start a life
with you. I want to be in a relationship. She's like, okay,
I don't want to lose you. I can't could you?
She's super pretty?

Speaker 4 (57:40):
She was you know, she was acting like that was
it he had to get to do. The engagement didn't work,
so let's just what else.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
Has she got?

Speaker 4 (57:50):
And you know, either way, they were going to leave
the island and date. Yeah, that's what they're gonna do.
Just go date and see how that works.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
I mean, if I'm even I'm thinking in this conversation,
just based on her attitude that it's just not going
to work at all, the dating, right.

Speaker 4 (58:08):
It could have really backfired on her and he could
have just been like, forget, you wants to come off
like a good guy, so you can't really break it
off with her just yet.

Speaker 6 (58:16):
Mikey, you do forget the like the psychological thing that
happens about living out of sandals for four weeks and
assuming that you need to sort of like accomplish this
thing before you know paradise ends. Yea oriented as opposed
to just being like, wait, this is just like a

(58:36):
wacky way that we met, right, and we're going to
go back to San Diego tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
I mean, Doug, I met at a sandal, So that's
how we became friends. We didn't have to push it further.

Speaker 4 (58:50):
The details, but it sounds right.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
At a sandal Sandals Jamaica sandals.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
I wonder if the Danta has anyone been to the
all inclusive kind of like Mexico.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Yes, of course you have.

Speaker 3 (59:03):
You got the fake Italian?

Speaker 6 (59:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
Love, I love a buffet. I love a buffet. I love.

Speaker 3 (59:12):
I wonder what the Vedanta? What the best one that
the Vedanta is?

Speaker 1 (59:15):
I bet they have an Italian one for the Americans.

Speaker 6 (59:17):
Oh yeah, well.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
It's all for Americans.

Speaker 6 (59:19):
Should be a good tagline for Bachelor's in Paradises. I
love a buffet.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
Oh my god, I love a buffet. I love a buffet.
And that's really what this is. This is like horny people, buffet,
hot people, hot people, musical chairs.

Speaker 4 (59:34):
Do you think they'll ever bring back that twist of
just suddenly airlifting a bunch of the women out of
there to the da That.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
Was a one undone that was like, that was like
love island, one undone that was mean. That was mean.
I forgot about that.

Speaker 5 (59:47):
I really tore everybody apart.

Speaker 1 (59:49):
So Cott, Cat and John Henry have decided to stay
together Sam to do the to stay and spend the night.
Sam and Pete Okay, he was like who who Yeah?
And heway was like you moved me with your charisma and.

Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
Your sideline fun lovers.

Speaker 6 (01:00:07):
Yeah, Sam is funny to be. She's like the uh,
like the veteran hockey player that's been on like twenty teenyah,
like a thirty five year career, and it's like it
just gets brought into me.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:00:17):
For a few episodes there she was just sort of narrating.
The action could just go to her from describing what
a Canadian Bachelor season two.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
Yeah, she's also been like Sam from wardrobe, like.

Speaker 4 (01:00:30):
We've got a fun down, Yeah, and we found this.

Speaker 6 (01:00:33):
You got an.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
Epic get the medanta and her husband laughed. So she's
just shot.

Speaker 6 (01:00:39):
She had at one point the most like epic Canadian sunburn.

Speaker 5 (01:00:43):
Oh yeah, she.

Speaker 1 (01:00:44):
Felt very Canadian. Was so then she she was He
was like, I was wow about you by your charisma.
I'd like to leave here with you. She's like, I
owe you and myself honesty. We should just never We
have never gone farther. I absolutely I have so clear
that it is not right for me to leave here

(01:01:05):
with you. I absolutely feel no smark, there is no
wavering that I will ever leave here with you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
There was no uh, any editing mislead in this entire
conversation whatsoever?

Speaker 4 (01:01:19):
No uncalled for Like, why would she There's no reason
for it?

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
Just a little kind we have fun, Yeah, a little.

Speaker 4 (01:01:29):
She was like, last time ever on one of these things,
they're taking her straight to a home the whole I
gotta go out in the blaze of something.

Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
You're also like, can't you just be kind and be like?
We had?

Speaker 4 (01:01:45):
She having fun with that guy? Like, look, was there
ever any friction?

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
She's like, I hate you. I hate you. I've hated
you since I hooked w I needed it to keep
my visa, like I but I hate you.

Speaker 6 (01:01:58):
She knows how to extend a vacation.

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
She did. She did not want to go back to
It was just like brutal. It was just brutal. She
was brutal. Meanwhile, so Olivia is excited. She wants to
leave with Michael the sea captain, and she's like, I
am having feels. I feel all this stuff. I'm filling
feels with you. He's like, yeah, I'm a realist.

Speaker 5 (01:02:23):
I got plenty of barnacles on my boat.

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Our worlds are just in two different places. We are
not leaving. I do not want to go to fantasy suitets,
Like why not just go to fantasy. Yeah, come on,
it's weird. It's weird. And then she goes and I
respected her move, no hard feelings, but I don't want
to sit here right now. And if I was a crier,
I would cry. I felt badly for her because.

Speaker 4 (01:02:49):
She keeps falling for it every time she gets into
these guys who are in it just to be on
TV and get another rose and then toesucker.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
Will should have stuck.

Speaker 4 (01:02:59):
With Yeah, it's it's weird, but she's.

Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
That feels so long ago.

Speaker 4 (01:03:06):
Yeah it was Olivia could have been a villain. Yeah, yes,
I think she just was able to ride the I'll
be mad at Cat so I won't come off as
the villain.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
Can we discuss how long ago it feels like Will
fall in the pool on the date?

Speaker 5 (01:03:22):
Oh my god, it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
Feels like years ago, so long ago. I mean that
was that was my favorite part of that.

Speaker 5 (01:03:27):
She's fell out of love with him the second that happened.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
Yeah, that second he fell in the just really hot.

Speaker 6 (01:03:33):
No, no, he looks sickly, right, yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 (01:03:36):
Okay, So then it looked like would follow the pool.

Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
So then Kat and John Henry, She's like, you're the
best man that has ever come into your life to
my into my life. I want to be with you
outside of here. He's like, I'm down. And then so
then Iron and Eliza it's like, I'm in love with
you coming here and then they kiss. He's like, it

(01:04:02):
was so sweet. She talks like a little girl when
she's lying. When she's lying, she goes like this, oh
my goodness, like you're giving me this. It's like she
when she's lying, her voice goes up. Meanwhile, so now
it's time for the Like they're sitting, she's having a
date with him. It's Aaron and Eliza. He's like, I
know the engagement's coming up. She's like, that is the

(01:04:24):
part that makes me very nervous. It scares me. I mean, like,
I don't blame her. I would be nervous too, I
would not want to get engaged after three weeks at Sandals.
But but she's like, it scares me. I only wanted
to happen once. I am freaking out. I feel like
he handled it well, and he was like, I want

(01:04:46):
to protect you and I love I want to love
you how you want to be loved, like and then
I think that that and he's like, if you want
to do the overnight. That's cool. That's a strong move
to act like you don't care. And then she's like okay,
and then I want you to feel confident. She's like
idea and then like but so that was a good

(01:05:07):
move on his part to not pressure her.

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
Does everyone feel like he's had a character renaissance since
the No, No.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
No, he's the same guy to me, Katie, do you
feel like he's the same guy. Yeah, he seems the same.

Speaker 7 (01:05:22):
He's a little less annoying, like he's not doing the
like let me play.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
You a song or let me pull the coin from
behind her ear.

Speaker 4 (01:05:29):
That type of show, let me rat out somebody else
for their behavior, like he was one of those guys.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
Yeah, nobody did a rat out thing this season.

Speaker 4 (01:05:39):
There was weird there's a weird time when like Peter
was dancing around behind that one guy that gets mad,
the guy that broke the box.

Speaker 1 (01:05:46):
The one who was the firefight no Ocean with.

Speaker 4 (01:05:51):
He was silly behind him while he was trying to
talk to somebody and that made him mad. But that
didn't really amount to much.

Speaker 1 (01:05:58):
So then Aaron is on a date in the morning,
he's in Lavenger pajamas and lavender slippers. The slippers a
man slippery.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
I'm pro once I crossed a certain edge, I'm pro slippers.

Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
I have slippers. I love slippers. I was just weird
to see a man in like it was almost like
a mule. He had like a mule on.

Speaker 7 (01:06:21):
I was just thinking the other day, I want a robe,
and then I was like, oh, I'm old.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
Oh I love robes and slippers. I was like, I'm old.
I'm going to buy a robe, aren't I You don't
you don't already own an I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:06:31):
I've had robes the time I.

Speaker 1 (01:06:35):
Were a robe, so I don't get Oh no, I'm not.
I have not purchased a robe ever, but I've been
given robe. I've had robes and slippers around. More like
a nice flannel robe. Oh you're really going mom? Yeah,
well what kind of robe are you wearing? I'll show
Harry cloth ropes like a silk road. I have a
little cotton robe. See almost something warm because I'm cold.

(01:06:58):
I understand that. Well, gave me a fleet, gave me
the rope cat robe. I wear that. I have that rope.
I put it with my winter blanket. Yeah, I wear
that I wear that. That's she gave me a bunny rope.
I have a cat robe from Paget. I'm so excited
and it's fun because it's from page I haven't taken
up my winter blankets yet. Yeah, now I know I have.

(01:07:19):
That's your rope. Meanwhile, she goes, Eliza's freaking out. She's
absolutely terrified. She's in a white dress. She's going to
a beach. She's like, HiT's a lot. There's everything about hers,
like dragging her heels. She's saying she's walking to the beach,
and she goes, oh my god, o god, oh my god,
oh my god, my god, oh god, oh god. I'm

(01:07:41):
just gonna take it moment a moment. This is so
for real. And he's like, from the moment you walk up,
I thought I knew what love was. And then I
saw how pretty you were, and I was like, that's love.
You're so pretty. I love you like and then and
then he's like, you know, and I know you like
to start you're day with two eggs, well done, no

(01:08:03):
fruit platter, but once in a while, you like a
mango smoothie. And she said, you are so right, at
which point he goes, I called your mom, and like
it was such a kind of a smart manipulative move.

(01:08:26):
I asked her if you wanted the mango. It was
a smart manipulative move because like she got he got
the He didn't say I got the blessing, but it's
kind of implied, and he's like, I see where you
get it. You know, she's proud of you. This all
could be bullshit, but she's proud of you.

Speaker 6 (01:08:45):
The recording of the content.

Speaker 1 (01:08:47):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. She thinks the most of you. And
then when he got down on my knees, she squeals yes.
She's like, she goes, I am so serious all the
things I just cannot and she's like, I didn't even
know that I was going to say it, and then
I just said it and then lo and behold it

(01:09:09):
said they've hit some road bombs.

Speaker 7 (01:09:11):
Have nothing to do with the you know, TV cameras everywhere,
feeling pressure to say y yes.

Speaker 1 (01:09:16):
The panic you talk to my mom, all the things.

Speaker 4 (01:09:19):
By everybody there. What a great couple they are, because
the other couples are very encouraging.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
Last year, being hated by America for saying no to Rodney,
all of.

Speaker 5 (01:09:29):
That, Yeah, she's going through it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:31):
But you know, good for her. Better to do that
than not get give get married. Yeah, yeah, we know
who's ending, no doubt.

Speaker 4 (01:09:40):
Who's Amical Bowl breakup so they can continue.

Speaker 6 (01:09:44):
There is the financial motivation.

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
They get to keep the ring.

Speaker 6 (01:09:50):
Someone said the rings are getting smaller.

Speaker 5 (01:09:53):
Is that true?

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
Oh yes, I think that. I think. You know what,
They've always been smaller on Paradise. If you're the lead
of this show, you get a bigger rid.

Speaker 4 (01:10:02):
It's no longer DLA and it's Neil Path.

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
And they also they also used to used to get
to go to Neely and to pick up He'd show
you three and you could pick as the whole thing. Yeah,
you could be like cush your cat. Yeah, he used
to give you a choice. Yeah. How's your ticket sales going?

Speaker 2 (01:10:24):
Brendan Success taking a screenshot so I can send to
my dear friend John Ross Bowie.

Speaker 3 (01:10:30):
We are going to the Crew World Festival. Thank you
for participating in general admission. We're doing it's all general admissions.

Speaker 1 (01:10:40):
Last time I went to a concert at Rose Bowl,
I took they have like a shuttle or like a bus.
Very easy.

Speaker 3 (01:10:46):
That's the way to go.

Speaker 5 (01:10:47):
Always just park your own car there.

Speaker 1 (01:10:49):
It's night Yeah, all right, we're gonna take a quick
break and we're going to come back with Cat and
John Henry and tweeted the week guys, that's all put
on mon keys and get it and we're back. Any

(01:11:10):
final things about Eliza and Aaron, I forgot to.

Speaker 3 (01:11:13):
Ask uh preditions for the future.

Speaker 1 (01:11:17):
They're gonna she's gonna dump him if she hasn't already.

Speaker 3 (01:11:20):
Do we now?

Speaker 5 (01:11:21):
Do we?

Speaker 3 (01:11:21):
Do? We know this because I did not spoil anything. Well,
I did not go on.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
It's at the very end that there. It's been rocky.

Speaker 6 (01:11:28):
Yes, when was when was Paradise last summer?

Speaker 1 (01:11:31):
Last this summer? I think it like June? Yeah, it
ends in June, so it's been like six months. They're done. Yeah, sure,
what do you think, Duke?

Speaker 5 (01:11:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:11:42):
I think they had to write it out until now
and now they can just sort of, you know, go
out there and say what happened.

Speaker 5 (01:11:49):
I don't know what their followings are like though, really.

Speaker 1 (01:11:51):
Or maybe google you can google like what's happening? Okay?
And then also Cat and John Henry wake up. He's
like She's like you don't even snor. He's like, you
snore and she was like she was like no, I
do not even and then she's like, oh, I lie
me out. They were like they're cute. She's a handful.

Speaker 5 (01:12:10):
It's gonna be.

Speaker 4 (01:12:11):
It's weird. He was an introvert and she's a handful.

Speaker 1 (01:12:14):
They might work.

Speaker 5 (01:12:15):
It could be.

Speaker 6 (01:12:16):
It's I think it's I mean, again not to harp
on how dumb they are, but I think it's like
I think, like, I mean, it's like there are a
couple brain cells sort of are just like existing in
a shared space, and there's so much space that it
can work.

Speaker 1 (01:12:32):
Yeah, you know what. I actually feel like they actually
feel like they might work. I actually want them to work,
which is insane me.

Speaker 6 (01:12:40):
I think like if she goes crazy, like crazy mode,
he'll just be like, I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:12:45):
Know, I'm going underwater.

Speaker 6 (01:12:46):
I'm going water.

Speaker 4 (01:12:47):
I'll be down here talking to the hull of a ship.

Speaker 1 (01:12:50):
Yeah exactly. Yeah. And I think he's so horny for
her that like, and he had the tongue ring and stuff,
you like, really.

Speaker 4 (01:12:56):
Like he jumped over her so fast.

Speaker 6 (01:12:59):
He checked off she checks the box. Uh, what's the phrase?
She checks whatever? She checks all like yeah, skinny hot, Yeah,
Like I think wounded bird is one of those wounded
birds runaway.

Speaker 4 (01:13:13):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:13:14):
It's also like probably like like fun and like exciting
in bed, you know what I mean, Like like I
think that.

Speaker 3 (01:13:21):
He's always comes with growing up in a group home.

Speaker 4 (01:13:23):
We probably tell other men like, well, he's underwater welding.
He knows that she's telling other men to fuck off,
Like she'd be really rude to men in general if
she had a husband.

Speaker 1 (01:13:34):
Oh yeah, you know what I mean for sure. Then
she goes, he we find out. She She goes, I
would do this over and over and over again. I
want to wake up to him every day. I'm that
much more drawn to you. And he says to camera,
my heart is telling me to get engaged. My head
says don't do it, or my gut says don't do it.

(01:13:54):
So she so we know that going in this is
the only exciting.

Speaker 5 (01:13:57):
Everybody's always saying trust your gut, Yeah, trust your butt,
Trust trust your butt. So she was like, I am
completely in love with you. Being with you feels like
a love that can only happen once in a lifetime.
I love you, John Henry, and I want a future
with you.

Speaker 1 (01:14:13):
And he goes, that was sweet. This was the only
Baiten Twitt. So this is exciting. He goes, Look, I've
always trusted my gut, and my gut says it's too soon.
But then like, what if this isn't real? But I'm
following my heart. I really am in love and I'm
not falling in love. I'm in love and I love you.

(01:14:36):
I love you too, No way, we're engaged. They were
actually kind of cute and allegedly they're doing. I cannot
believe they match.

Speaker 3 (01:14:43):
They match.

Speaker 2 (01:14:44):
They look like the high school couple that's still together
in their early thirties.

Speaker 1 (01:14:48):
They it's got to be san Diego. The moving said
they're moving to San Diego.

Speaker 5 (01:14:58):
They are.

Speaker 6 (01:14:58):
They're going to be the King and Queen of the
San Diego fourth of July.

Speaker 1 (01:15:03):
Pree, Oh my god, the Grand Marshall.

Speaker 6 (01:15:06):
Grand Marshal.

Speaker 3 (01:15:06):
Are we going to comic this year?

Speaker 1 (01:15:09):
Oh my god, we have to go. So he posted
a lot of photos of them together.

Speaker 3 (01:15:13):
John Henry did just like like this morning.

Speaker 7 (01:15:17):
Yeah, okay, like he posted a ton of photos of them.

Speaker 1 (01:15:20):
Oh my god, that's so cute. That's but so they
seem happy together.

Speaker 7 (01:15:24):
Eliza and Aaron haven't posted photos together, but everything I'm
reading says they are together.

Speaker 1 (01:15:29):
It just seems not real. Lies live Okay, just he
didn't tag. There is no way that he's just a
ding dog. He's here. She is here, she is and
she has posted how many followers does she She's posted
a lot of really cute photos with them. Oh my god,
they're actually cute. She has only sixty seven. That's what

(01:15:52):
I'm saying. It's not quite the like. That's when I
ask how can people like, what do they do for money?
Because it's not quite like the early days. You could
really just quit your job for a or two.

Speaker 5 (01:16:03):
Right, That's the thing is their job is it's tine
to build this thing that's kind of got a good start,
but it's not.

Speaker 1 (01:16:09):
It's not what she needs to make money. Yeah, all right, well.

Speaker 3 (01:16:15):
Well now they can start their promotional appearances though, right.

Speaker 1 (01:16:18):
Yeah, make Vegas.

Speaker 3 (01:16:21):
You can get a couple of bucks to show up
at the party.

Speaker 1 (01:16:24):
Yeah, the towel, the towel whatever. That's actually good.

Speaker 4 (01:16:27):
And now there is a lot of reality shows where
the point is that people were on previous reality shows.

Speaker 1 (01:16:33):
Rights, but there's but there's so many of them. You
have to be a major villain or a major star
you know what I mean. Like to cross promote, you
have to be like the cat. Cat could do it,
Braiden could do it. Braiden is savvy to hook up
with Mandrel.

Speaker 4 (01:16:49):
Braiden and savvy to go all the way up to
San Francisco for sketch fast. I'm so all the way
up from San Diego.

Speaker 1 (01:16:56):
That's an extra two hours from Is that fun?

Speaker 4 (01:17:01):
I don't know why he's putting himself into the.

Speaker 1 (01:17:04):
Situation because he goes to meet you do.

Speaker 4 (01:17:07):
And if you're listening, don't go, you dog. There's no
way he knows who I am.

Speaker 1 (01:17:13):
That's not true. Everybody knows who you are. You're the
person who said, what the fuck are you doing in
your life?

Speaker 2 (01:17:17):
My girlfriend to go see you do comedy at the sewer?

Speaker 1 (01:17:23):
Well that's you, guys. We love when you review us.
We got some new reviews. Here's our reviews. We have
a really nice new one. Five stars. Love this pod
from Keighley. This is my favorite Bachelor podcast. I don't
have any friends who watched this show, so I love
listening to the podcast each week as a team breaks
down every moment the same way your friends would talk

(01:17:44):
about it. I also love that each Bachelor Show gets
its own podcast episode. Thank you. We debated about that
and it's just difficult. It was just like also like,
it's also like asking a lot because some people were
only watching The Golden Like a lot of people came
in just for The Golden to be like, and you
also have to watch this other franchise. It's like, yeah,

(01:18:04):
we put a lot of work into it because it's
hard to schedule them all. Yes, oh believe you may.
So we really appreciate that review five stars. Here's another
one from Susie Champion A spark of joy. Every time
I listen, I always feel happier by the end of
the episode. Who knew talking about reality TV could bring
so much joy? Shout out to my fellow dead parent

(01:18:27):
folks with daddy issues. That's an excellent review. That is,
you know what, I always feel in a better mood
by the end of the podcast, and I'm glad that
it translates. We love our listeners. We have the nicest
There was some well you accept this Rose fans that
came to the live show that Brian and I did
at the Allegion the no autographs please, so like, we
love you guys. We love to meet you guys. We

(01:18:48):
love to hear from you guys. So in the interim,
because we're going on break, leave us some reviews for
the end of the year. As iHeart you know, looks
at us and decides whether or not to pick us up,
just leave us some reviews. This is us our last
podcast of the year. Katie, Thank you so much for
all of the work that you do, for shepherding this,
for just being awesome. Doug, we love you as our captain.

Speaker 4 (01:19:10):
Don't forget doctor Banana, I.

Speaker 1 (01:19:12):
Mean doctor Banana. She is the doctor. Brenane is just
the patron saint of this who's like she's the wind
beneath our wings. Brendan. We You should listen to the
Brando Cast. You should listen to all of Doug's podcasts.
Doug Loves Movies, Wide World of Doug. Doug is Doug's
movie Interruption, Getting Doug with High Doug Doug Dog, It's

(01:19:35):
Doug's Doug O Clock Somewhere.

Speaker 3 (01:19:36):
Our Tales with Amit Zeppa eight five five six O
one R O c K. Taking your phone calls only.

Speaker 1 (01:19:42):
Former villains Mikey camp Man, do you have any stand
up gigs coming up? Right? Okay?

Speaker 6 (01:19:47):
Cool.

Speaker 1 (01:19:47):
Okay, so we have our show, our sketch best show.

Speaker 6 (01:19:52):
What would you like to move?

Speaker 1 (01:19:53):
How about where can people follow.

Speaker 6 (01:19:55):
You on Instagram? Babyface junkie?

Speaker 1 (01:20:00):
Nice? Are you baby Jess? Baby Jess junkie Baby Baby
Jess Junkie Twitter?

Speaker 6 (01:20:07):
My Twitter is not good, so don't follow that up.

Speaker 1 (01:20:10):
Okay's junkie? Okay, great? Well would you like us to
help us pick a tweet of the week? Here we go?
All right, here we go. I'm gonna say a few
and we're gonna narrow it down to two. First one
sh ain't constant Tracy Pikerzer. I said it earlier, but
I didn't want to not give her a chance. Kylie
was so focused on the emoji flirting on ig on
Instagram that she forgot that while he did do fantasy

(01:20:31):
suits as Rachel, they broke up because he wasn't ready
to get engaged by the end of the season. That's
just facts, and I appreciate it. It is. This is
from the watcher at Telly Tubo. I was trying to
figure out why Cat always wears insipid colors like brown
and tan, and then I remember her favorite color is beige.

Speaker 4 (01:20:48):
Yeah, she really did admit that one.

Speaker 7 (01:20:50):
She has the same swimsuit and she had it like
in five different colors.

Speaker 1 (01:20:53):
It was the one that like went across you know what.
That's like a good American one.

Speaker 5 (01:20:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:58):
This is from the watcher at tell at Nothing says, quote,
stop calling me baby Jess. Then more than building a
sand castle? Umm uh here we go this Okay, let's
see Shianne Constant, Trixie Firecracker. Hi, nice to meet you.

(01:21:20):
So that ABC will pay for our wedding, will you
group of this year selected strangers come to our wedding.
Jesse Palmer is officiating. It is exactly how I imagine
this day as a child.

Speaker 4 (01:21:32):
Wedding.

Speaker 1 (01:21:32):
Yeah, he was sitting in the front.

Speaker 4 (01:21:34):
Okay because he could officiate, couldn't he doesn't he?

Speaker 3 (01:21:39):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:21:40):
This is from Sarah as Dean and Kaylen. Hey Sarah.
This is from Sarah the Pearl. Where is it? Let
the boom Boom Room come home from the Wars. And
then somebody Cheyenne said, maybe they're saving it for married
former contestants who want to break from their kids, which
is they did last year with Ashley Eye. Oh my god, okay,

(01:22:05):
we need to This is from Lauren J. And Johnson.
I only support this if it means Cat will no
longer be a contestant in this franchise anymore. Yeah, here's
another one here for the right reasons. Getting married on
b I P is like going back to your college
to get married in the middle of your senior English

(01:22:25):
class and inviting the students to be your only guests.
And then the teacher officiates and some of the lunch
hall workers are also there. Okay, and then uh, this
is from Tracy Williams at Viby Palopa. I'd like to
move this entire season to my spam folder. Thanks. Okay.

(01:22:49):
Final one justin Paul Spade. John Henry strikes me as
a guy who was born without a middle name or
Social Security number. Okay, Top two, I'm going to say
spam fold and Home from the Wars. Okay, Okay, here
we go. Sarah at Sarah the Pearl, where is it?
Let the Boom Boom Room come home from the Wars

(01:23:12):
or Tracy Williams at Viby Palapa, I'd like to move
this entire season to my spam folder. Thanks, spam folder
or Home from the Wars Brendan.

Speaker 6 (01:23:27):
Yeah, I'm going spam folders let's go spam like spam.

Speaker 1 (01:23:31):
Okay o, my god, we have a new winner, Tracy Williams.
You are the tweet of the way. Vibey Pop. I'd
like to have the entire season my spam folder. Thanks.
This is what a season? What a season?

Speaker 3 (01:23:42):
Are we excited about the wedding? January?

Speaker 1 (01:23:46):
Yes?

Speaker 7 (01:23:50):
Get ditched at the kids because like the way they
were like this is literally never happened, and it shows
him just losing his mind.

Speaker 1 (01:23:58):
So like, I did they already give us the ending?
Or is it like a mean twitch switcher?

Speaker 5 (01:24:04):
But like, I don't know, it's going to be a
sensitive season.

Speaker 1 (01:24:07):
I think yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:24:08):
I think he's just going to be sweet to everybody
and it's gonna, you know, could go in any direction.

Speaker 1 (01:24:14):
Are you going to watch my key?

Speaker 6 (01:24:16):
I will? I'm on the fence about it.

Speaker 1 (01:24:19):
I mean, but now they are on the podcast, you
want to play with us?

Speaker 6 (01:24:24):
I do? I enjoy this part about it.

Speaker 1 (01:24:25):
Yeah, if you want to call it the entry, the
entry fee is Joey is Joey?

Speaker 6 (01:24:30):
All right?

Speaker 4 (01:24:31):
I mean most people that watch the show these days,
they're only doing it because they're on a podcast.

Speaker 6 (01:24:41):
I'm definitely waiting on baited breath. For the Golden Bachelorette.

Speaker 1 (01:24:46):
Yes, oh my gosh.

Speaker 5 (01:24:48):
That's there's not been a reveal or anything.

Speaker 1 (01:24:50):
They haven't really announced anything, but I bet they'll announce
it at the wedding. Yeah, that's yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:24:57):
And is it going to be someone from the Yeah,
it has to be.

Speaker 1 (01:25:00):
I mean somebody was saying that Susan would be fun.

Speaker 4 (01:25:03):
She would be then she just have a group of
women and whoever catches the bouquet.

Speaker 5 (01:25:08):
Yes, it gets to be the next.

Speaker 1 (01:25:11):
Oh my god, there would be Kathy. It would be Kathy.

Speaker 5 (01:25:13):
There would be Kathy.

Speaker 1 (01:25:16):
Okay, I told you that my friend's mom was Kathy. No, yeah, somebody,
my friends knew Kathy's kid and knew Kathy. Like my
friend was friends with Kathy's daughter, and so that Kathy's
Kathy's Kathy, you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (01:25:34):
Right, Yeah, she is because.

Speaker 1 (01:25:36):
She's the zip It was. She's the zip It one.
I think she is, like, like, I think it's seamless
from TV to real life.

Speaker 5 (01:25:43):
Right.

Speaker 4 (01:25:44):
It seems like she everyone got along so well that
you had to really be out there to stand out
in the way that she did.

Speaker 1 (01:25:52):
I mean that was my is she with Leslie is
that she didn't she didn't seem to bomb with the
other girls, and that she just moped when it wasn't
her turn to have a one on one going in
I never get picked. It's like, well, you just had
the hot tub date. Everybody knows a hot tub date.
It's like a hot commode.

Speaker 5 (01:26:06):
Yeah, there is to a hot comode.

Speaker 1 (01:26:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:26:11):
Do you think they'll have like one guy on the
Golden Bachelorette who's like thirty five?

Speaker 3 (01:26:16):
So great seventy year old women?

Speaker 1 (01:26:18):
That'd be so fucking great? Are you kidding me?

Speaker 4 (01:26:20):
I don't really want to see this because it's the
idea of a bunch of older men chasing around one
woman just seems more like so fun too much of
a mirror on society.

Speaker 1 (01:26:31):
It'd be so fun o god, but I'm also chasing
around an age appropriate woman.

Speaker 5 (01:26:37):
It would be like a dad joke off. I can't
wait they're going to be I hope Jerry didn't have
to be that funny.

Speaker 1 (01:26:44):
No, I hope that. But I hope that there's man
friendships that are so cute that having like old man
buddies make him pals. I thought there's gonna be some
I wonder who the douche is going to be.

Speaker 4 (01:26:56):
Off and do their bucket list together before one of them.

Speaker 5 (01:26:59):
Guys.

Speaker 1 (01:27:00):
I like that. I like the ladies are doing that
right now. They all seem to actually make friends.

Speaker 5 (01:27:04):
They really did like Bond and I.

Speaker 1 (01:27:06):
Love me too. Is there any final thing anybody wants
to promote?

Speaker 5 (01:27:10):
Oh h douglasmovies dot coms where all my stuff is.

Speaker 1 (01:27:13):
Okay, Well, we thank you iHeart for having us on.
We love being here. We'll be doing the wedding and
then we'll be doing so listen, we're doing draft picks.
We're doing draft picks live, and we did it once before.
We're doing it at San Francisco's Sketch Fest. It's me,
It's Duke, It's Branden. Maybe we can suck in Christina Mandrel.

(01:27:35):
We've got Aaron Foley, we have Doctor Banana, Katie jack
Keyes and my friend Laurie. I just think it's gonna
be so fun, and we're gonna do draft picks live
on stage because it's gonna be We're doing it two
nights before the premiere. We did we did a live
draft picks once. It was so fun. The audience we

(01:27:55):
will hand out, will hand out paper and pencil for
everybody to play along, and you can all do your
scorecard as we go, and as a collective theater, we're
going to pick out our top three, the villain crazy
and the next uh, the next bachelorette. So it's going
to be in here for the wrong reasons. It's going
to be so great until next time. Brendan Smith, Mikey Campman,

(01:28:17):
Doug Benson, Katie Levine, doctor Banana. I'm Martainrie. Thank you
so much, good nup bye.

Speaker 9 (01:28:23):
Oh yeah, We're gonna get all up in you tonight.

Speaker 3 (01:28:29):
Feels so good. I just got one little question finger
out where you.

Speaker 9 (01:28:35):
Read this rules, rest this rules, listen to your words,
to your world.

Speaker 1 (01:29:00):
Will you accept this ROSAA production of iHeartRadio. For more
podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC

Stuff You Should Know

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}"PULLED FROM THE VIJANTE!" w/ Doug Benson, Brendan Smith and Mikey Kampmann

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Dateline NBC

Stuff You Should Know

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

All Episodes

"PULLED FROM THE VIJANTE!" w/ Doug Benson, Brendan Smith and Mikey Kampmann

Dateline NBC