Ambra Gutierrez

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, everyone, Sophia Bush here. Welcome to work in Progress,
where I talked to people who inspire me about how
they got to where they are and where they think
they're still going today. I'm thrilled to share with you

(00:26):
a conversation that I got to have with one of
the most powerfully brave and truly courageous women I have
had the pleasure of speaking with, Amber Gutierrez. Ambra is
a Filipina Italian model, humanitarian, and one of the first
women to accuse former producer Harvey Weinstein of sexual assault.

(00:46):
Amber played an integral role in exposing the sexual abuse
allegations against Weinstein with her involvement in a staying operation
alongside the New York Police Department. She's one of Weinstein's
many victims, but Ambra is the one who managed to
get him admitting to sexually assaulting her on tape. And
if you follow the development of the Weinstein story or

(01:06):
read the book Catch and Killed by Ronan Pharaoh, you'll
know that that tape was buried by a bunch of
very powerful people who didn't want the story to come out.
Ambra persisted. She has since become a vocal supporter of
the me too movement and uses her platform to fight
back against flagrant abuses of power while helping to empower
others through her involvement with various incredible humanitarian organizations. She

(01:32):
has partnered with the Model Alliances Leadership Counsel, which aims
to create a safe and fair workspace for other models.
She works closely with Humanility, which provides shelter and assistance
to impoverished children worldwide, and she is involved with Safe Horizon,
the largest victims services nonprofit organization in the United States,

(01:52):
providing social services for victims of abuse and violent crime.
Ambra continues to work tirelessly to in rage structural changes
in the fashion industry that combat sexual harassment. In our conversation,
we'll discuss what life was like for her following the
Harvey Weinstein accusations, her childhood growing up in Italy, her

(02:13):
deeply uncomfortable experience with former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi,
which occurred when she was just a teenager, how she
got her start in the modeling industry, and how her
career has progressed. Her efforts in fighting back against the
gross abuse of power within the industry which commodifies women
and their bodies and so so much more. First of all,

(02:39):
thank you so much for joining me today. So excited
to talk to you because I'm so inspired by your
story and your life and your activism, and I'm really
grateful to have you here. Thank you so much. Like, um,
I mean, I feel that this story has to be

(03:00):
old and I'm not gonna get tired of saying it
because like, I feel that I went through all of
this for a reason, and it's for like helping others
and teaching others how to probably you know, like get
through situation as I've been. So yeah, I feel that

(03:23):
having you interviewing me it would be it is like
an amazing occasion too, you know. Sure again like the
story and hopefully have more people listening to it and learn.
That's so cool. How how are you doing right now?
I know that before we started recording, we were talking about,

(03:43):
you know, you having recently moved to Miami. Are are
you holding up okay with the shutdowns and everything? Yeah,
I mean I moved here because my family it's all
in Italy and they were very worried when they heard
that Corona hit New Work, New York City, and and
so they told me like to get out of the

(04:07):
city because they knew that. Unfortunately, with and the amount
of people being there and then not space, you know,
because there is no possibility to really social distance in
New York, it would be very bad. And in fact
it happened, you know, like that many people got contaged. Um.
A lot of my close friends got corona, you know,

(04:29):
like it was. It was really bad to see it, um.
And of course I didn't wanted to make my family worried.
So yeah, I decided to take a flight and come
to Florida to to stay safe at least. And it's
it's working, thankfully. I can't really social distance. Yeah. And

(04:53):
how has the last I don't know. I'm wondering how
the last couple of years have been for you and
and especially I guess the last year since Ronan Pharaoh's
Incredible book came out, because obviously the piece in the
New Yorker was such a bombshell and and really opened
up this whole experience. And then, as as a reader

(05:18):
and as a person who cares about the issue, I
think that the book really detailing things in such long
form and painting a picture for readers. Obviously from his
point of view as a as a journalist. But but
if just how insidious this thing is and how frightening

(05:42):
the sort of abuses of power can be in these
powerful circles. What what has the experience for you've been
like since people have really been able to see inside
of this, not just in you know, some small mention
or a Twitter headline and been in a real deep way. Yeah. Um,

(06:05):
I can say that through all the experience I, you know,
like I had with the Harvey Wainstein situation, I learned
to I learned to be very patient first of all,
and to have faith that good things are gonna and
in the right way. Let's say that I was sure

(06:28):
about my throat. I was sure that I did the
right thing, and I was sure that it was sort
of like conspiracy against me back in TWI, where you know,
some people were trying to keep things as they were
taking more advantage of And I don't know why, but
I'm I believe a lot in God, and I'm I'm

(06:51):
I'm a huge believer, and and I was always very
calm going through the thought that I lost everything in
my life. So when the situation in happened, Um, as
you know, I was bashed um mediatically, like World Wilde,
Like I was called a blackmailer, a liar, someone that

(07:14):
wanted to just get famous and to make money, and
instead I was sacrificing myself and everything for getting the
truth out. And I couldn't do it because maybe I
was too young. I was twenty two years old. I
was speaking English since a couple of years, and and

(07:35):
probably you know, I didn't know the right people, and
and let's it the situation and that it has. I was, yeah,
completely destroyed, um because my name wasn't you know anymore
like the one that I am right now, you know,
like I was just a liar, prostitute or whatever else.

(07:59):
They were like putting Google and I had to give
up on my dreams. So when all happened, I had
to live New York. Um. I went to live in
the Philippines, where my mom country is from. And and
so I got there in very deep depression and gained

(08:22):
a lot of weight because it was like stress eating
and everything, and tried to build up my life again.
So when I moved there, I learned to really get
more in touch with my deep you know, like feelings
of pain and whatever else. And I learned how to
go through it. I learned how to survive, let's say,

(08:45):
through all of this because in my mind, I was thinking, Okay,
I can't do anything anymore. Even if I just tried
to date someone, people are scared of me because they
google me and they see like all of these things,
and I will never be able to have a family,
like even like normal situation. Not talking about my dreams
or modeling or whatever else. I'm just talking about normal

(09:05):
life because it happened. Actually, when I was dating someone,
they would be like, yeah, but you know, like I
don't know how to you know, present you to my
family or these kind of things, you know, because on
the news I was Amber the blackmailer and whatever. So
I don't know. I always have faith in the fact
that the truth will come out. And so I spent

(09:28):
a couple of years in the Philippines where I didn't model,
and I was just like trying to do a different life.
And yeah, I I just learned to be healthy again
to compare with depression, to you know, like learn new things.

(09:49):
And I was I was surfing. I was like doing
this type of thing that like, you know, before my
life I was not doing. And then suddenly, like I
don't know where my mind was happy again, what my
body was happy again. I was dedicating myself a lot
into helping people there, Like I was supporting these charities

(10:10):
where they helped like orphans in the Philippines and so
like I was working with them and this type of thing.
So then like when um, I had a bad break
up with with my companion at the time, UM, I
was talking to my best friend in New York and

(10:32):
he said, UM, I think you should come back, like
you should come back here just for a little bit,
so you feel better about, you know, your break up
and stuff like that. And I was like, Okay, maybe
I'll go, you know. And it was February seventeen, so
about two years after and UM, when I got to

(10:53):
New York, you know, I was it was weird to
get back there because like when I left, uh, the
situation was um of people not allowing me into clubs
or restaurants or like you know, like avoiding me because yeah,
because I was the girl that you know, everybody was

(11:15):
afraid of, you know. And and when I got back
instead there was like people, I say, O, Hi, Amber,
how are you thisn't that? And like I was starting
to like, you know, get back to two meeting some
people of course, like the ones that I thought were
my friends and left me out of nowhere. I were
out of my life and still are out even if

(11:37):
they're like sorry and whatever. UM but yeah, I I
learned also to know who the real people are from
from this experience. So but anyway, when them and I
was back in New York in February. Then I was
there for like about three weeks and it suddenly like
out of nowhere, um on and contacting me. And I

(12:04):
have to tell you, like every single day of my
life after the um, yeah, the situation of Harvey. I
was checking the news um to see if he would
have hurt anyone else because I knew that, you know,
that was something that he was doing a lot, and
I knew because I'm going to tell you then all

(12:24):
the experience how it happened. And I was like just
searching because I was UM. I said to myself, if
he would do something like that to someone else, I
would just speak. I will speak and I would not
care what's going to happen. You know. I was like
having all of these anger inside, but for myself, I

(12:46):
couldn't fight anymore. I don't know how to explain it.
So anyway, like run and contact me, and then little
by little always started to um, yeah, unfold everything. But yeah,
it was not easy. It wasn't easy. I mean, my gosh,
I can't I can't imagine and I can imagine. I

(13:11):
I want to get into all of this and how
it happened, but first i'd kind of actually like to
go backwards before we go forwards. I really like to ask,
you know, the people who I sit with, how things began.
Because to your point, so many people know you because
of a Google search result, or perhaps because they've seen

(13:35):
your face in a campaign, or you know, the work
that you do. But I'm curious about Amber as a
little girl, about you know, where you grew up and
what you loved when you were a kid. Can can
you start us kind of there? Yeah? No, of course,
I grew up in Italy. I was born in this city,

(13:56):
Coltrino Um and like the type of girl that I
was was this girl that always liked to dream big,
you know, to try to you know, get to explore
things and learn new things all the time, and and
very stubborn. I'm still very stubborn. Things has to be

(14:18):
done my way, you know, like in in in the
good you know, and and so like I always I
don't know how to say it, but yeah, even my
school choices were always done by the fact that, for example,
I studied as a surveyor. Okay, because like it suddenly

(14:39):
happened that when I was in the secondary high school,
there was this guide that I liked or whatever that
you know, like it was always teasing me about like, oh,
you know, like you do always your nails and your
makeup and you're always like very cute. You're gonna ended
up like studying for as a makeup parties and stuff
like that. And I was like, what are you talking about?

(15:00):
Like I'm able to do whatever I want, you know,
Like it's not just because I look or what I
do that would like just allow me to a little
small box of things, you know. And so I was like, Okay,
I'm going to decide to do something completely different just
to prove myself, you know. And then yeah, I started
as a surveyor. I graduated for that, and and then yeah,

(15:24):
I I then decided after to be become a model
for for different reasons because like in Ita least some
stuff happened as well, but um yeah, like that was
my type of person. Like when you tell me to
I'm not going to be able to do something, I'm
gonna do it, you know, Like it's something like removing

(15:46):
those like stereotypes, you know, from people's minds. Yeah. I
also love the the kind of take charge attitude of Oh,
you think I'm going to go to beauty school, I'm
gonna study science exactly watch me. I think that that's
so amazing. When when you talk about experiences that that

(16:10):
you had in Italy, is that something that you'd be
willing to to explain a bit or yeah, yeah, it's
also public knowledge. Um So, my my start in the
modeling industry, let's say, was a little rough. So when
I was eighteen years old, because my mom was very

(16:32):
into like beauty queen contests. You know in the Philippines,
everybody is so hyped about it. I wasn't so much,
but like, I don't know, I wanted just to make
my mom happy. And at the time I met this agent,
um that it's called Danielle, and I don't know, it
was following me up on on the steps for this
beauty queen contest and and it was missed Italy. So

(16:55):
I decided to participate even if my you know, skin
to and was dark and like, you know, I don't
look very Italian because my mom is Filipino. But like
I was like, okay, let's see how it goes. So uh,
suddenly I ended up to the finale and all of this.
But what happened during the time of the selections is

(17:19):
that that agent that I trust, um took me into
a party okay with another like contestant that was with
me called Kiara, And so he took us in this
place where we didn't know where we were going, and um,
it was kind of like whatever. We trusted him because

(17:40):
sometimes it was like organizing casting, so we went to
some casting with him and stuff like that. So um,
it was like the day of when I got the finale,
you know, like um title, so that the one step
before the end of the contest, that that's the thing.
So he's like, oh, Umber, let's go celebrate because he

(18:03):
got into like the finales, so let's go and and
suddenly I remember it was like eleven at night and
and we got into this huge mansion. It was nighttime
and there was the police that checked our documents, and
I was eighteen years old and just turned eighteen, and
I was like, okay, cool, Like it's it's like a

(18:24):
huge place. Maybe is um like some friends of him
that worked in TV or something like that. I thought,
so whatever, Like we we got into this place and
and he suddenly left us. They're saying that he was
going to get someone um to the party. So we
were like, they're just waiting and we knew some guy

(18:47):
there because he did the casting to us like a
few days before, and and that's it. We were just
there and then like we were outside in the garden
just drinking some like you know, an alcoholic drink and
waiting for this Daniella to come back. And and the
dinner was ready, so we got back. Were there a

(19:08):
lot of people at this party or was it small?
It was just this guy that was is very famous
TV journalists in Italy. It was very famous TV journalists
in Italy called Emilia Faded, And so because it was
very famous, I trusted him, you know, like me and
my friend were like grew up watching him for like

(19:30):
the news in Italy. It was like always saying like
the news of the weather and the kind of thing
so we're like, oh, he seems like a like a
trustworthy intellectual person of eighty years old as well. So wow,
And I think there can be something as women. When
someone is like that, when they're a cultural figure or older,

(19:53):
or they work in a very intellectual profession and and
they're famous, you assume they never behaved badly because everyone
would know about it. But anyway, like that wasn't like
my mind was very naive at the time I was
eighteen years old that that's like all the things I
was thinking is like this person is very famous and

(20:15):
it seems very nice. It's eighty years old. It's like
my grandfather. And I'm there, you know, my friend Kiara
and other two women of middle age that I didn't
know who they were at the time when I met them,
and then after I figured they worked in politics. So
we were there and then suddenly the waiter comes out

(20:36):
and said that the dinner was ready, so we're excited.
Like I was still writing this, danil as saying like
where are you like when you're coming back, and it
was not replied. So then we are in this like
big um living room with like sofas and everything, and
and then like in front of me, there was um

(20:59):
burtles Cony, Silvia Berusconi, the ex Prime Minister of Italy,
the last one, like the you know previous that was
running Italy for twenty years. And I of course knew
him from TV and I was a little confused because
it looked very different from TV. So at first I
thought maybe it was an impersonator and all these kind
of things. And I was like, Okay, I don't know,

(21:22):
maybe sim maybe not. But I was like polite anyway
and said, HOWI Hi, nice meeting you. My name is
Ambra and Kiara, you know. And then suddenly, like out
of nowhere, like a bunch of fifteen girls came out,
um from like a door to this living room and
started to scream and be like oh poppy puppy, hi,

(21:46):
hideasn't that and kissing him one after the other in
the lips. And there I was like, what's going on?
You know, like in my head it was kind of
like funny to see because it was very like crazy
to view, like all of these girls were going to
this person that I knew it was very very powerful

(22:08):
and kissing him like like a game, you know, like
like it was very like a sort of like, yeah,
like like like theatrical or something. Yes, exactly, very theatrical.
So I was observing. And then it's like there with
some trays of like rings, you know, like rings, and

(22:29):
it's like and it was saying to me and Karen like,
get the rings, girls, get the rings. And I was like,
I'm sorry, I don't wear jewelry, like I don't like it.
And it's like, oh no, no, get it, get it.
It's a gift. It's from Tiffany. It's from Tiffany. And
I was like, oh, okay, thanks, and I got like
one and and she got another one. And I was

(22:51):
watching it and it was like this huge, like flowery
thing and I was like, okay, whatever, thank you, you know.
And then we moved to the to the dining room.
He's like, yeah, let's follow me, follow me, let's go
to eat. So we all sat in this huge table.
There was these fifteen girls. There was him and this
Amelio fede Arra and other people that I think it

(23:15):
was mostly women, and we were there like eating some spaghetti,
and all over the table there was a lot of
like weird objects of like clowns and little like ducks,
you know, like the one that you use in in
the bath for kids, like like rubber duckies exactly. There

(23:35):
were a lot of these things, and like I was
not scared, very curious about what's going on because like
I was thinking, wow, this person, if it's really him,
because I wasn't like sure it was him. It's surrounding
the country and there is like a little like puppet
of things in in in the table where we're eating.

(23:58):
Um is like singing a lot of like very weird songs,
you know, like all night, and a lot of those
girls are like dancing around him, kissing him and and
more So I was very curious to see what was
going on. And and my friend was watching me, and

(24:18):
and we were not talking to each other, and we're
just watch each other like very I don't know, like
surprised what was going on. So but anyway, like trying
to because it's a very long situation, trying to make
it a little comfort. At one point, it was like
telling a lot of jokes. And it sounds to me
like I have such an uncomfortable feeling hearing you explain

(24:42):
it because you're assuming you must be in a safe place,
but also everything feels creepy. It feels kind of circussy, strange,
and and I would imagine that you have no idea yeah,
how you're meant to behave or feel. And I know,

(25:06):
at least as a woman, that I've had experiences where
I feel very uncomfortable and then I feel guilty that
I feel uncomfortable, And so you're just trying to kind
of be polite. Yes, I was always polite, that's the thing. Like.
And also like this Amelia Feather, the TV journalist guy
was always telling me like oh yeah, yeah, look look

(25:27):
what's going on like this and that. It was like
always like telling me the story, what's going on. So yeah,
look at those two girls, Like all of these girls
worked in TV still now works in TV, and and
two of them were twins and uh and he's like, oh,
you see those two girls. And I'm like, yeah, yeah,

(25:47):
I see them. And it's like, yeah, they just flew
from Naples. They're coming here to get like three thousand
years each. And I'm like, oh, okay for what exactly.
So it was like telling me all of these things
or maybe like look at that girl. That girl was
like simulating like oral sex with a little statue um

(26:10):
that they brought to the table, okay, and it was
telling me, look at that girl, look at that girl.
She's doing that, but she she doesn't like guys. She's
doing it just to please him. And I'm like why,
Like in my head, I was thinking, why are you
telling me these things? You know, like it was so
unreal and in in like the same time, I was

(26:30):
trying to write this Danielle saying like where are you?
Because I wanted to leave, but I didn't know where
I was. I was eighteen years old, you know, I
didn't have my drive license. I didn't know how to
if I could have called someone, or someone would just
you know, made me disappear or something, you know. So
I'm just there sitting at this table with my other girlfriend,
watching each other and thinking what's going on? So there

(26:54):
was Berlusconi also asking us questions like so what did
you doing girls like, and we were saying that we
were studying, and he's asking like, oh, how old are
you and of course we we answered we were eighteen
years old and that we were like doing this Miss
Italy contest and and then he was like, oh, you're

(27:15):
very little, like you're very little kids, Like it's it's great,
and I was like okay, whatever, you know, Like I
kept going trying to avoid you know, questions from him,
and and then at some point, like I see all
these girls going to him and like dancing and like
going on our back and dancing to him. Like it

(27:35):
was sort of like, um, how you say, like one
of those like like an harem of women you know,
to please him. I was like the type of situation.
And then like he was telling all of these jokes,
and at the end there was a joke that he
ended saying like oh, girls, are you ready for the
bunga bunga? And and I was like, okay, what's going

(27:59):
on now? And this girl was like super excited saying
like oh yes, let's go. Let's go. And they left
somewhere and so it was me Silver Barsconni, Amilia Feda,
and Kiara alone in this you know, dining room, and
and you know, like there was Disamilia Fedded that was
trying to like you know, talk to Kiara and asking

(28:22):
her like, oh, Kiara, what's going on? And she wasn't
feeling good and she asked her like a t and yeah,
and then at the end he said something like oh
you can go laid down like somewhere I can help
you if you're not feeling well. And when I heard that,
I took Kiara under my arm, you know, like I'm like,

(28:42):
oh no, like there was there is like the president
how everybody was calling him Rosconi. You want to show
us the house, so we're going there. So I took
Kiara with me and didn't let her go anywhere. She
was always with me. And it showed us the house.
It's like huge house, okay. And it shows us like

(29:04):
this huge room where he was having like a collection
of little like statue of ceramic cows, like little cows
of ceramics with a lot of colors. Okay. So it
took us into the room and he said, oh, this
is the room where all the girls give me gifts
and does a lot of like this um beautiful drawing

(29:27):
for me and all these kind of things. Okay. So
he likes to get a lot of attention. I think
like it needs to be adored or something like that. Anyway,
he then said, get a box, get a box, and
unboxed the thing inside. So I took a box. Cara
took another box and I opened it and it was

(29:50):
a little statue of a cow as I told you, Like,
there was this huge table of like twenty full of
little statue of cows. Okay, so it's this thing. And
he said, okay, now placed it where you want in
this table and I was like, okay, so I put
it there. She put it somewhere else, and it's like yeah, great, great, amazing, amazing,

(30:14):
let's go. Let's go. Now. I was like, okay, let's go.
So I followed him and Emilio and Kara was with me,
and we went to this downstairs a little like you
know that those wine cellar place where you know, like
you put wine in Italy that it's like under ground,

(30:34):
the type of and he made he made this place
like club. So there was like a pole, dancing pole,
and there was like this white so fuzz you know,
around The music was blasting. There was like lights and everything,
and I could see those girls were like dancing, and

(30:54):
I have been fun and like pleasing him, you know.
And then at one point the situation because it became
like crazy okay, because these girls were like dressing up
like police women and like nurses and like uh yeah,
this type of like costumes but naked, like you know,

(31:17):
all of those sex type of costumes. Yeah, there were
just stuff like that, so I could have seen things
of them, you know. And I'm like, okay, what's going on.
And I'm sitting on this sofa with my friend and um,
and I'm thinking, like it's good that they are doing

(31:40):
stuff to them, you know what I mean, Like they're
and on, you know, self, like deciding to go and
dance for them or like sing for them, or this
time they're not asking me, so I'm fine. I'm sitting here. Yeah,
it's very uncomfortable, but at least no one has hands.
Did you a belt? And said put this on dent?

(32:03):
And there was this girl that kept coming to me
that I saw in some TV show and she's like,
oh my god, you're still beautiful. You should be not
be noticed, like you should like show yourself and get
noticed because you're gonna have a huge career if you do.
And I'm like, okay, thank you, but I'm shy. I
don't dance, you know, like it was like okay, thank you,

(32:26):
and and so I was sitting there and then at
one point there was this woman that she's like brunette
like me, beautiful or whatever, and and then suddenly she
started to dance around the pole, and she had like
one of those shrub dress whatever, and at one point

(32:46):
she removed her dress and she was completely naked. Okay,
so I saw every single part of her bikey and
I was like watching the floor because I'm like, I'm comfortable,
you know, like I'm not even watching, you know, people
close to me naked. It's kind of very weird for
me to see like a woman naked that I don't
know in front of me, like that I met one

(33:07):
hour before. So I'm there and and I'm saying that
she's going like close to Brusconi and let him touch
her and all these kind of things. And I'm like, okay,
this is like a lot. Try to write this, Danielle.
It's already like maybe midnight, and and it said like

(33:27):
I want to go. Where are you? You know, like
me and car I want to go. And then suddenly
there was this woman Um that was the girl that
before um Emilia Fe was saying that she liked opposite sex,
she like the same sex as are. So I was like,
she's coming to us, and she's like, girls, just get up,
get up, get up, come dance, come dance. And I

(33:50):
had like a little sweater or something, and she's like, oh,
I just remove this. I'm like no, you know, like
at that point, like just that that just sure because
I really don't like to be touched, like I have
some problems with that. And and she removed my sweater
type and I'm like, okay, I stand up and I'm like,

(34:10):
I'm sorry, but I have to leave. So I took
Kara and I went to UM and then lied because
it was the only person was talking there too, and
I said, I'm so sorry, but tomorrow there is the
finale of Miss Italy. We have to leave at five
in the morning with the boss. I gotta go. I
have to go. And he said, oh, but you're going

(34:31):
now that it's the best moment of the party, and like, oh, yeah,
I'm sorry, but I need to go. Like there is
this miss Italy contest I really cared of. And he
answered like, oh, but what do you think you're gonna
get with this contest if the people didn't matter? I
hear you know the people that decide are here or
something like that he said, because it was talking about

(34:52):
how he was in like the jaw the jury of
Miss Italy one time, so he knows everyone and it
was like a trap, like a treat to us, you know,
like if you leave, you're never gonna get anything done
in your life. And I was like, oh, I don't care,
like I want to go. So I got up the
stairs left to discourt the yardwere Daniella left is and

(35:15):
I was with Kiara and like in my head, I'm like,
what am I gonna do? I'm here in the middle
of nowhere. I don't know what to call, what to do.
So We're trying to keep calling this Danielle is not
picking up and and then at one point this Emilia
Fetta comes out like rushing, and I was like I
was pissed at him because I was like what what

(35:37):
just what did you what? What do you say? I
was disgusting, you know. So it came up to us
and and then he said, oh wait wait girls, I'm
gonna I'm gonna take you to Danielle. Don't worry, I
don't worry, just wait, and I said I didn't want
to listen to it to him, and he kept like
he started to say like you did great, you did great,

(35:57):
and I'm like, what what did we do great? And
and say like, yo, you did great, because all the
other girls and just prostitutes, you know, like like he
doesn't even care of them, you know, like it doesn't care,
like you're gonna be the ones. You're gonna be the
ones zero girls because you're acting right, And I was
like what. I was so confused, But as he said,

(36:20):
I was very naive in the same time. So I
was listening and I listened to him. It started to
like wash our brain. And he took us to Daniellow
with his driver and they started talking about like how
we act like very like lady like girls that we
didn't like, you know, dance or like we didn't do
anything crazy there. So he's that the president saw it

(36:43):
and that it would act like treat us as the best,
you know, it would give us everything because we were
acting good. And I was like, oh, maybe it's true.
I don't know. Let's see. I don't know, Like in
my mind I was thinking like whatever, like tomorrow, I'm
going to the contest of Miss Italy. Let's see how
God us. So the first week, okay that we were

(37:04):
in this Miss Italy contest, at a finale, me and
Chiara and also another girl that we saw at that
party was participating to this Miss Italy contest. She's called
Robert Asia and and she was there doing all of
these crazy things. So we were also surprised that we
saw her in there. And anyway, we were in this

(37:28):
um finale thing and she was there as well, and
she was very like acting like very sure about herself,
like whatever was going to happen, you know, And I
was like, well whatever, you know, like I don't care.
Maybe like Emilia Fader was saying right about acting like
good and so we would get something out of it.

(37:49):
I don't know. So we're there just whenever, living the experience,
and they were choosing the sixty finalists for for this contest.
So we're the air and Emilia Fete was talking to
her saying like, I'm gonna send you my TV, George,
like my TV a troop to film you for like interviews,

(38:10):
so you're gonna get like some some good votes if ever.
And I'm like, okay, thank you so much, you know,
like me and Kara were like, oh, thank you, like
we thought what he said it was truth. So like
one week goes by and the day of the choosing
the sixty finalists out of six hundred, um uh yeah,

(38:32):
six hundred like girls. Um, I thought they were choosing
Kiara for like four girls from my area. Okay, so
it was me another girl that were we were in
the finalists in the finals, and other two girls that
had to be you know chosen, and and then they
chose some girl that was then as Italian and I

(38:55):
thought they were choosing Kiara, but instead when we were
in like you know the um yeah, like it was
on TV, so it was in in I don't know
how you said it in English, but anyway, when they
were calling the girls, they called this Roberta Bonazia instead

(39:16):
of Kiara that they were saying like no, no, Kiara
is gonna go in the final, I don't worry. You
did great, and they got there that girl. So in
my head I understood that I was stupid, that like
the situation was just going downhill, and that everything is
said it was just to keep us to shut up.

(39:37):
So then I was there. I had the other two
weeks to go on for for the final, and Kara left,
so I was alone with this girl that was like
threatening us, like you don't say anything? What what you so, like,
don't you know, talk to anyone? And I was like,
oh my gosh, like what's gonna gonna happen, you know,

(39:59):
like if talk? So I said nothing and then whatever,
the situation kept going with me going back to to
my city, to Turin, Turino and uh and going to
school because it was my last year of surveyor year.
So everything was amazing, Like everybody came up to me

(40:23):
saying obviously in TV was great, I voted for you.
I wanted you to win and this isn't that. And
I was so happy, like you know, I achieved something
in my life or something like that. I don't know,
like in my mind was like cool. So I became
like the president of the school um for that year
because like, yeah, they were choosing like four each year

(40:45):
and like so we were doing a lot of activities
for everybody. And then one point January comes because it
was in September, sorry, September twenty and in January suddenly
one time I get in my classroom, um, and my
best friend comes up to me like super quiet and

(41:08):
had me a newspaper and I was like what is
this and and and he said like just open it,
and I was like okay, So I opened that newspaper
and inside it that was my face, the face of
my friend Kiara and the other Roberta Bonzia saying like

(41:31):
three beauty queens involved into the Bunga bunga parties of
you know, the like the residence of the Prime Minister
of Italy still be Probosconi. And I was like, oh
my god, what's going on? So they were writing about
like every girl that was going there was an escort,

(41:51):
like I went there two hours of my life that
I didn't want to go, like I didn't know about it,
Like I didn't know I was going there, and I
left without doing in a thing. I never had a
courtier out of it. I never got anything out of
your you know like and I couldn't even say it.
You were just a kid in a competition exactly. I
was eighteen years old thinking like I have morals, I'm

(42:12):
not going to do things, and I left. Well. But
the the other thing that strikes me is so upsetting
is that a grown up that you trusted drove you
there and left you there. Yeah, and an agent an agent, right,
and yet it it comes down on you. You know,

(42:36):
you're you're somehow called guilty for being in a place
where you were quite literally duped to go for by
the way, and obviously predatory experience, Like it strikes me
as you know, throwing a lamb to the wolves. It's
a really dark thing that happened to you, and you

(42:59):
and your friend are very lucky that that you were.
In a way, I think you're lucky that you were
young enough and naive enough to just say exactly what
you were feeling, which was no. I remember at one
having a really weird experience with my first like real boss,

(43:20):
and I was so young and so naive and so
sure of right and wrong, which I still am, but
there there were no kind of pressures to be um
palatable yet, you know, to to make it nice yet
And I hit my boss. I just hit him. I
was like, what are you doing? Don't do that. It

(43:42):
was such a it was such a gut reaction. And
I think that I think that it's the trouble that
women get in when they trust their gut, which is
what you're describing. You said no, I'm leaving, and you
got out of there, and and then it came back
around and in a way, you were punished. And I

(44:04):
think about that. I think that when we trust our
gut and we defend ourselves. We often find ourselves being
punished in ways that the next time we think, okay,
how can I protect myself but maybe make them less
angry or maybe you know, make this less awkward, And
it strikes me as infuriating. It makes me so angry

(44:27):
because it shouldn't be our job to make them less angry.
It should be their job to not be predatory acting
that way exactly. So, yeah, this experience was like my
first hit in in like the understanding that this world
was was moving into a very like the bad winds,

(44:50):
you know what I mean, like the bad people win.
So I don't know, I just kept going with having
my reputation destroyed. And I was only eighteen years old,
because it was all over the newspapers, you know, has
the eighteen years old you know, like thirty three yes,
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(46:41):
We're style and sustainability meat to create your new favorites.
Can I ask you a question just because obviously you
know you you did this competition, and it just strikes
me as so intense that we put these so many
young girls in situations like this. But had you been

(47:04):
had you been modeling before? I mean, how did how
did that begin? No, so that was your first exposure. Yeah,
that was like the main big thing that happened. Like
I was on TV, like seven million people watched must
or something like that, even more, I don't know. So
like my experiences as model, it was very local. Like

(47:27):
I was doing like shows in my city, you know,
like those bridal things just to like make money. In
the meanwhile, I was um also also studying because my
my father left when I was about fourteen years old
as well, so I wanted to like help out the situation. Yeah,
because you really supported your mom and brother a lot

(47:49):
as a kid, right exactly. So I was doing that
while studying and UM and so like the big experience
that you know, like hit me hard. It was when
I was eighteen that I didn't even start modeling. Professionally,
but that was my dream because I wanted to really
do it. And and so like it was the last
year of my surveying, like um studying and and then

(48:15):
selling in my reputation was destroyed. People thought I got
to the Penale miss Italy because I did something with
the Prime Minister of Italy and and then like everybody
was talking weird about me and the you know like
hallways of the school and you know whatever, like so

(48:35):
crazy situation. I had paparazzi trying to find me at school,
me escaping like in some ways, like for like a
couple of months, it was a nightmare. So I don't know,
like I just kept going. I graduated, and like in
the meantime, also I found a lawyer that would represent me,
because you know how it is in Italy, like Maffia

(48:56):
and all these things, people are scared and and so
she wanted to represent me and Kiara about our you know,
legal bottle on taking out the truth, because all I
wanted was being Amber Batillana and not attached with all
those lies that the news was writing about me. So

(49:19):
I started that in April twenties eleven, I started a
legal bottle that is still open right now. So after
like ten years, and I kept going, kept going, kept going.
But I realized that this person owns the media. So
even in the moment that, you know, like I was true,

(49:42):
I was saying the truth. I was right and everything,
people were not talking about it because how what they
would say, like, oh, yeah, the eighteen years old girls
that went to this party instead said the truth about
what they saw. That they saw a naked woman doing
a pole dancing that then was working in politics, so

(50:04):
she was like working in the party of Garusconi in politics,
and a bunch of other women you know that I
actually worked in TV and had like very big roles
in TV, and they didn't get anything because they were
saying the truth of what was happening. So anyway, I
decided then after graduation UM that I was nineteen, it

(50:27):
was not a full graduation because I didn't do university
because I escaped Italy. I decided to change name and
to go somewhere else. So fortunately I got signed into
modeling UM agency in London, so I moved there when
I was about nineteen twenty years old. UM And and yeah,

(50:48):
I tried to to do that seriously, so I was modeling,
and I started like from zero, like nothing, you know,
I had to learn English. I had to find a
way to like, you know, stay in London. So I
was staying at some friends couch first, and and then

(51:08):
like little by little was getting like gigs and more
costing gigs, and so I could have survived in London
and not get back to Italy even if I had
to go because of the trial because like every couple
of weeks or like every time I had to go
there testify for like eight hours about what I saw
and like all of this crazy things, Like my life

(51:29):
was like I don't know if this is a movie
or like it's crazy. So that's a lot of pressure
for a young kid. Yeah, I was eighteen. When I
think right now, the eighteen years old, I'm like, wow,
like I don't know how I managed, you know, to
do this, because like I grew up very fast. I
guess in the time of you know, like period, I

(51:51):
really said, like I don't wish this to nobody, like
it was crazy. So thanks God, I I had possibility
to work as a model full time. I also went
to Farris and then to to the US because you know,
you had to get your visa sponsored, otherwise they they
don't allow you to work. And I was, when did

(52:12):
you come to the United States? So the first first
time was in twenty um for it was when I
got my agency New York and that's when I uh
start to to model, like one time, so one time
when I had my birthday of the twenty years old.
But it was a couple of weeks here in Miami,

(52:33):
not much. But anyway, like going back to when I
really came for work, it was and and did you
move here then? And no, because it was very hard
for me, like I was a new you know environment,
it was very expensive. New York was very crazy expensive.
So I had to like see if I could work

(52:54):
or not because it was I was new, I didn't know,
and I was happy that I would get a lot
of clients to work and it was customed. So I've said, Okay,
maybe you can't realize my dreams to live in New York.
And and I staid for a couple of months. So
then I came back to Italy and I was so excited,
like I need to organize myself how to go back there.

(53:16):
And so a few months passed by because it was summer,
and I stayed in Italy till probably the end of February. Uh,
and then I came back to New York. My agency
was super excited. They were like, Lambra, thanks for coming back,
Like we're gonna get you again, the clients you had before,

(53:37):
Like you're gonna work perfect like this and that three
weeks after, we go to this um show at the
Radio City Music Hall with my agent and some other girls,
like a lot of times, we go watch movies, we
go to some parties together, you know, Like it was
nice because I didn't have a family in New York,

(53:59):
so for me, it was Emily, Yeah, you're the other
girls you're working with and your team are meant to
kind of be your support system. It's like it's like
having a mentor and a bunch of classmates or something exactly.
And I was twenty two, you know, like speaking English,
like you know, I wanted to learn, so always like
talking to people and but very shy, very shy person.

(54:23):
And and then anyway, I wanted to escape the reality
I was living in Italy, so I was trying to
like get the things back my shoulder, like not thinking
about and yeah, that day happened it was um probably
end of March something like that, and yeah, we got
to this ready seeing music Hall theater show. We're there

(54:45):
watching this beautiful show I've never seen before, like a
theater show like that, and it was amazed of it.
So then there is they have to party um with
the girls. I'm with my agent and I'm like on
the upstairs place where the v I p or stay
or like the people that worked in the in the show.
And then suddenly I'm there like eating like those little

(55:06):
like things and and watching people but not talking to anyone.
And then I see someone watching me from far like
staring at me, and I'm feeling weird. So I'm just
walking the other side like and every time I moved
or I watched there, he was watching me, and I'm like,
why this guy watching me? You know? And then suddenly

(55:28):
he started moving towards me, and I got a little
like uncomfortable because I knew it was going to talk
to me, but it was weird because he stared at
me for like ten minutes or so. So I got
close to my agent and this guy started talking and
he said, oh, hi, what is your name? So I answered,
my name is Ambra and then he asked, who's your agent,

(55:52):
who's your agency? And he said, oh, no, this is
my agent. And they started talking and I was there
and he was asking me question where you from? Um
this is and that. Like we talked like two minutes
or something like that, and he talked to my agent
saying like, oh, I have this project I'm working on
and I would love to have her to to do

(56:13):
um um casting for it and this and that, and
I was like, okay, it's work related, so it's good.
Like someone noticed me maybe for work and and I'm
like okay, but I didn't think of asking who he
was and whatever. So then he left after five minutes conversation,
and my agent, like, you know, start talking to me

(56:37):
after he left, and he's like Amber, Amber, do you
know who that guy is? And I'm like no, I
don't know. And it's like, oh, it's Harvey Weinstein. He
produced the show we just watched. And I'm like, oh cool,
um okay, Like I mean, I never was interested in
being a theater actress or an actress, so I'm like

(56:58):
it's cool, but I don't know what it is that about.
I'm a model, you know, so I didn't think of it.
I left, I went out with my friends, and let's
say I go to sleep. The next day, I have
two castings, so I wake up early. I get ready.
It's kind of cold out side, so I'm wearing my
uh like very heavy tights in in like a green dress,

(57:23):
and I have my coat because New York in the
end of March super cold like storms and like whatever,
like it starts raining or get like freeze. And anyway,
I get out, I do my first casting, I do
my second casting, and it was like mid day or
something like that, and again and another email from my agency.

(57:46):
And a lot of times it happens that they give
you extra casting, you know, like during some like calling.
It's like for me as an actor during pilot season,
especially when I was earting, it was the same. I'd
have an appointment, I'd have to go audition for a show,
and by the time I got out, they'd be like,
you have to be across town in two hours and

(58:06):
read for this other things like you're just running all
over town trying to book a job. Yes, exactly. It's
super frustraating sometimes as well, but you have to do it.
So I'm like, Okay, I got an extra casting. I
didn't really see what was but he called me and
he's like, oh, Ambra, Ambra, you got this new casting.

(58:27):
You remember the guy of yesterday. And I'm like okay, yeah,
and he said he wants to cast you. He wants
to cast you. Go to his office, um in Tribeca
Film Center or whatever like place and get there like
at five and I'm like, okay, good, So I'm already ready.
Maybe I go to eat like you know something. And

(58:48):
I go there. So it's five pm, so daylight whatever. Um.
I remember, like I get to the reception, I give
my documents and I got upstairs and the A is
a secretary and she's like, oh m bra Hi, follow me.
We're gonna go to the waiting room. And I'm like okay.

(59:08):
So I'm there getting into this waiting room. I'm sitting
on a on a sofa and I'm there alone, and
she put up like a video of something on a
TV in front of me, and like there was this
TV like with the video of of like trailers of
like movies like kill Bill or like um other things.

(59:31):
And I'm like, oh cool, nice, yeah, but I'm not thinking,
like I'm I'm like oh nice, nice movies you know well.
And especially because just to to really hammer home the difference,
you came to New York to model exactly if you
weren't pursuing a career in acting, why why were why
would you know who Harvey was or what movies he

(59:54):
had produced. It's like, it's not your world. Absolutely, And
my agent the day before said, is the producer of
this show you've just seen? So I thought theater theater,
like this is the thing. So when he came in
because the video was ending, he ended it's like, oh, Hamburg,

(01:00:14):
is really nice to see you again. Um. Another thing
that he said when he saw me first, it's like,
you know, you're you remind me a lot of these
actress Mila Kunis. And at the time, because you know,
I don't remember, like I grew up in Italy, I
don't know names of actresses or you know, like and
I was in America. Sorry, I don't know. I don't

(01:00:35):
know who she is. Now I know, but at the
time I was like, I don't know, I don't know.
I'm sorry, but thanks, I mean, I don't know. So
he kept saying that like, oh you remember me, her,
you remember me? Her? And I was like okay, okay,
and then he said, oh you saw these movies, these
movies I made these movies. And I'm like, oh wow, nice, beautiful,

(01:00:56):
you know, like I saw them, like almost every all
of them. And then he kept talking like, oh, you
could have like beautiful career. I know that you have
like a great up like you you're gonna do great
and this and that. And I'm like, oh, thanks, but
I never dated acting like I never studied, and I
know it's very hard and I have friends to do

(01:01:17):
it and it's seven work, you know, like it's very hard.
I know it. And we spoke for like two or
three minutes and then like kept talking and I said,
do you want to see my book because that's what
you're doing customs Like I didn't want to talk, you know,
and he said, oh yeah, it's great. Right. So I
had my iPod to him and he starts scrolling my
pictures and he's like, oh wow, beautiful and then he

(01:01:40):
stopped to a picture of me lingerie because I'm a
lungurie model mostly, and he's watching It's like, oh, Ambro,
I want to ask you a question. Uh is her breastril?
And I was like what so he put down that
I put without saying a word, not like even in

(01:02:01):
the half of a second. His hands were on my breast,
and I was like, I sit back and I watched
him like I didn't know what to say. And then
he's like, just give me a kiss, give me a kiss.
And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I mean, I don't
do these things to people I don't know, you know,

(01:02:22):
like I act that way. And so he moved back
because his end was also my leg, you know, and
he moved back and and he's like, oh, oh no,
I understand. I understand. Maybe maybe later tonight. We get
a drink and and we meet later tonight. I send
you two tickets for for my show, for my show,

(01:02:43):
like something like. He kept rumbling, and I was like,
I didn't know what to do. I was like, what
just happened, you know, in like two minutes three minutes time,
and he left, he left like nothing happened. He left,
and they you're saying he left, nothing had happened. He
didn't apologize to you, he didn't like he thought, he

(01:03:03):
didn't nothing wrong, like it touched my breast. He asked
me to kiss him. And when I said, oh, I'm sorry.
I don't do these things with people I don't know,
like what are you doing? It's also so interesting to
me because I know, I know how surprised I was
in a in a similar experience by my reaction, which

(01:03:28):
was because I just saw you do it. You know,
the people who are listening can't see us, obviously, but
this it's like you go stiff and you freeze, and
you think you think you're gonna smack someone or yell
or or push them or and it's like you literally freeze.

(01:03:50):
Was that your experience and was that surprising to you? Yeah,
I was surprised. I didn't know how to act, like
my self defense was like not move, like, don't move,
don't do anything, because I didn't know like how we
would reactive pushed him or like I don't know. My
dad was like, well, because what if you'd pushed him
and then he had gotten violent? You don't know. One

(01:04:13):
of the things that was really helpful for me, I
I learned um And I don't know what you would
say in Italian, but there's a very common phrase that
maybe you've heard in English where people say it's fight
or flight, you know, like when you're threatened, it's like
fight or flight is the response. And I actually learned, Um,
I learned from a trauma therapist that that's not true.

(01:04:37):
And and and this, this incredible woman said the funniest
thing to me, which I really appreciated, because when you're
talking about these experiences there's often not a lot of humor.
And she said, you know, there's words we learn, like
we've learned fight or flight in the same way that
in English we've learned peanut butter and jelly. And she goes,
if someone said to you, I want a jelly and
peanut butter sandwich, you'd probably think they were a serial killer,

(01:04:58):
Like who says that? And and and she said, so
we think fight or flight is meaningful, but actually the
responses in the human brain when threatened our first freeze,
then flight, then fight only as a means to get away.

(01:05:21):
So it's actually that we freeze first and and the
least likely thing that we do is is to fight.
And that really helped me understand that reaction where I
was like, oh, this is the way the brain, the
human brain is wired this way. It's not that I

(01:05:44):
did the wrong thing or didn't do anything or whatever.
The story is it's it's quite literally that that's that
is a way that your brain tries to save your
life when you are petrified. And I think a lot
to people forget that in the kinds of experience you're
talking about and that I'm talking about as a woman,

(01:06:07):
when a man who is enormous is praying on you
and you are alone with him, you're pretty afraid to
hit him because what if he hits you back. Yeah,
he is very tall, Like, he's very big. He's a
huge man. Harvey Weinstein is a huge scary man exactly.

(01:06:27):
And I'm I'm very tall, just to say I'm very tall.
And I was, you know, like very scared and freezed
about the situation. So anyway, like the secretary comes in
and said, I'm going to send you the tickets. I'm
going to send you a ticket for tonight and uh no,
And I was like and not understanding what's going on.

(01:06:49):
I said, I need to go to the restroom. So
I went to the rest room. I put my hands
under the water because like I was shaking, you know,
but was not reacting by voice, Like my body was
just you know, like shaking, And I thought I thought
I was going to faint or something. So I got

(01:07:09):
into the elevator that nobody would see me, and I
was going down. I started to try to call my
agent and I was like really shaking, like you know,
like pushing button like constantly to go down. And and
then I went out and I got into the first taxi.
So my agent, because it was Friday, um, I had
to go to his family. So it didn't pick up.

(01:07:31):
And I called someone else, like another agent of the
agency that was still in the agency, and I said,
oh my god, oh my god, something happened. Something happened,
and and he's like, oh, remember what's going on. What's
going on? And it's like I need to talk to someone.
I need to talk to someone. Someone is in the
agency yet like still, and he's like, yeah, I'm here.

(01:07:53):
I'm here with my girlfriend. She came here like this
and that, and I said, let's just stay there, just
stay there please. So I got there with the of
the cab and I saw him in the street with
his girlfriend because he represents the music like the side
of the agency, and he said, oh my god, this,
this thing's happened. This person, this person touched me. This
person touched me, and like in my head, I was thinking,

(01:08:16):
is it happening everything to me? Like in my head,
I was like, what the hell is going on? And
at that point, I thought this person is super powerful.
It's known, like it's super he knows everyone you know,
And and in me, I'm like, why am I meeting
all of these people in my life? Like first of

(01:08:36):
all in Italy, you know, the Prime Minister. Then this
guy like I didn't know under percent how powerful it was,
but I knew that he was like with in pictures
with a lot of famous people, like these kind of
things in his office and and he produced all this
movie showed me and I'm like, oh my gosh, what
what what's going on? You know, like and I started

(01:08:57):
crying for like an hour and this and that, and
then my head, I'm like I need to go to
the police. I need to go to the police, you know,
Like I was telling this agent of mine and he said, amber,
like you can't do that, and I'm like why because
this person is going to destroy you, like your career
and everything is gonna end. And I said, okay, but

(01:09:22):
I don't care. He touched me, you know, like I
want to I want to do something about it, and
He's like, are you sure, And it seems to me
that in a way it must have felt even more
important to you than what you had seen in Italy,
because in Italy you didn't let anyone touch and you
didn't stay in this inappropriate place, and you still got

(01:09:46):
in trouble for it. You got in trouble because you
told the truth. And now it's like you think, you
think I'm not going to tell the truth about being
sexually assaulted, Like how how you know it happened here
with Harvey? And it's like, I I realized that in

(01:10:08):
my own life, when I have seen or witnessed or
experienced things that I know are unjust, that are wrong.
The more I see that is wrong, the more I
want to fight for what's right. Because once you start
to realize how pervasive it is, how much it's everywhere,
you know. I think about the fact that in this country,

(01:10:31):
for example, one in four girls has been sexually assaulted
by the time she's twenty two, And I'm like, so,
it isn't just you that is running into bad people.
It's that there's just bad people praying on women everywhere,
and so of course we want to do something to
stop it. And change it. Yeah, there's a lot of
people ask me the same question, like it seems that like,

(01:10:55):
you know, everything happens to you or like you know,
like you always get in troubles or these things. And
I'm like, no, it's not me, it's every single person.
It's just that I don't I don't get like I
speak about it, you know, like if someone does something
wrong to me, I speak about it and I fight it.

(01:11:15):
You know. But every single woman, every single day, just
from being cut cold, they experienced some sort of like
sexual harassment, you know, every single person. And it doesn't
matter how you dress, how you act, how like you
could be even like a teenager high school, like a
girl going out of school, and someone is gonna arrest

(01:11:38):
you in the street, Like it doesn't matter. So it's
just not being silent about it. You know. Maybe it
makes you look like you complain too much, but it's not.
You have to do that. And I'm glad that then
you too, started because you really highlight the like multiple
experience that everyone is going through. Yeah. I agree with that,

(01:12:01):
And I think the more we talk about it, the
more we realize it's happening to everyone, and then the
more we understand that it's a systemic issue that needs
to be changed. So what what happens? You know, you're
this agent is telling you don't do this, you can't
do this, you have to just keep quiet. And your response,

(01:12:22):
obviously is I'm not going to keep quiet about this.
So he he was saying, world than that, like your
career is going to be destroyed, you know, like you're
gonna like he can't close all the doors for you.
And I'm like, I don't care. I just don't care,
you know. So I went to the police. I wanted
to police station that was the one in trade back

(01:12:44):
at close to his office. And the moment I walked
in and I stalked through the windows door like the
one that you know you speak to police people, and
and I said, Harvey Wainstein assaulted me in his office.
The guy answered again, and I was like, what do

(01:13:09):
you mean again? This happened before, you know, like I
thought it was like a joke. So in my head,
I don't know what happened, but like it just turned
on something that made me NonStop on any sort of
situation like that. Again, Like in my head, I was thinking,
maybe happened to some like young girl, you know, like

(01:13:33):
did maybe he did something even worse, Like in my
mind just went like crazy. I was thinking of like
worst situation than he did to other people. Okay, because
I said, okay, I'm lucky he touched me. That's it,
you know, like but what if I was right? So
that thing, you know, made me collaborate with the police.

(01:13:54):
Go meet him again the next day because he sent
me the tickets, so I went to the show meet
him again. He told me to go to this rockxy
hotel um to meet him. There was the Tribeca Ground
at the time, to meet him at the bar. He
tried to take me to his room three times, you know,
trying to learn me to say like, oh I made

(01:14:16):
this girl, I made these other actress like they are
famous because of me, and this isn't that. And then
he told me like you're gonna be famous, You're gonna
do this and that. And I was wired with undercover
police around me. Tried to get him to confess what
it did, and he did. He confessed everything he did
to me and other more things, and I was like wow,

(01:14:39):
like God gave me the strength to do this, Like
I'm gonna help so many people I'm super happy, and
people are gonna believe me because it's because it's on tape.
It's on tape, you know. I remember listening to that
tape when it finally came out, and I just had
the chills and I was crying, and I was like

(01:15:01):
the fact that that you were able to press him
and say why did you do that to me? And
and that he admitted in detail what he did, and
that he said to you, well, I'm used to that.
It just made me so sick because I thought you're

(01:15:21):
used to assaulting girls, okay, And and I was so angry,
just as a woman who's you know, we've all been
there and whatever ways we have. I was so angry
that they had it on tape and that they hit
it for so many years. I mean, they hit it.

(01:15:43):
And that's what interests me, because you know, I read
the record and you talked about how when you reported it,
a woman named Martha Bashford was at the time the
head of the sex crimes unit in New York and
a woman into irrigated you like you were the criminal.
And obviously we know that this is all too common

(01:16:05):
for women. Were always asked what were you wearing? And
were you drinking? And it's like, no one's ever asked
a rapist what he was wearing or how much he'd
had to drink, you know. She asked you questions like
were you ever a prostitute? Have you ever gotten gifts
from someone? Did you ask for a movie role? It's like,

(01:16:25):
it's so it's so disgusting and and I'm curious, what
did that, What did that feel like? And did that
add to your anger at how these situations are handled?
Like I knew I had this tape, okay, and what

(01:16:47):
the police told me to do. A part of having
the wire was recording with my highphone. So I turned
on the recording with my iPhone and I put it
in my bag and kept my bag and shoulder all
the time. So I was recording all of this, you know,
encounter um of him talking to me all this time

(01:17:08):
and you know, trying to take me first to this
second floor room and then at the end to the
pent house, you know, because he was really really determinated
to take me to this room. Okay, So anyway, I
had this on tape on my phone. I sent this
recording to five different emails that I had at the time,

(01:17:31):
and I was there because I said, like, this is
very very very important. And and then like the police
was super happy about you know what they got. They said,
it's going to jail, is going to jail, and percent
is going to jail. And I was like, wow, this
is like the most beautiful feeling I ever had in
my life, you know, like I put this guy behind

(01:17:52):
bars for sure, and that's it. So then like a
few days after, like a week passed by, okay, and
it was Saturday, so Sunday was quiet. I had the
police escorting me to a hotel because it felt paranoid.
You know, For like a week I was there, and
every single day after that, there was a front page

(01:18:15):
of a newspaper. There was New York Post Daily Email,
New York Post Dailymail with my face, me in bikini,
me with whatever, like looking like um in a party
or whatever, like trying to destroy my reputation because they
didn't know about the collaboration with the police. They didn't

(01:18:36):
know of anything, and trying to say I asked for
a movie role, I I asked for money. I wanted
to blackmail him. I had his wife saying like whatever
things about me, you know, like because she didn't know
of the recordings, like of course, but she was wearing
of his kids on his kids, like he said her
swear on your kids. I'm not gonna do anything to

(01:18:57):
you getting this room, and how like, oh wow, when
these things is gonna go out, you're going down. Like
in my head I was thinking that, And so anyway,
every single yeah, I mean, for for a man to
say I swear on my children, it's like, that's so disgusting,
worst thing ever I heard in my life. And so
every single day for a week that happened. Then I

(01:19:19):
had the meeting with marsh Martha Bashfort and I was
there and she started asking me a questions like have
you ever been a prostitute? Explain me this situation in Italy?
And I'm like, oh, yeah, it's very long to explain,
but I was right. And she's like, but have you
ever got a gift from people? Have you ever had

(01:19:40):
like an old lover, or have you ever liked this
and that? And I'm like, excuse me, have you heard
the recordings? Like in like in my mind, like I
didn't know how to express myself perfectly, you know right now,
I would say listen, even if I was a prostitute. Okay,
what this is gonna like make difference with the recording tape?

(01:20:02):
Like okay, like is there like some difference because you know,
like I was a prostitute or I was a saint
to these recording so you have proof of recording. But
this is a thing that bothers me so much about
what happens to women is that there's this like Madonna
horror complex and you're either this flawless person who nothing

(01:20:24):
has ever happened to, has never been sexual, or if
you've ever been sexual, or or just how to body
people perceive as sexy. Then then it's like you're going
down and that's impossible because everyone perceives sexy differently, so
you can never get it right or get it or
or you're wrong all the time. And it's like this

(01:20:46):
idea that that you would even have to say that,
first of all, no, you have not worked as a prostitute,
and it's insulting to say that you did. Second of all,
if you were a sex word ger, would you be
any less deserving of protection? Would you? Would it? Would
it be fair for a for a woman who does

(01:21:08):
work in that in that field, would it be fair
for her to be assaulted when she's not working because
of what she does for work. No, it's like it
puts us in this impossible position where in a way,
by denying, by by telling the truth that you're not

(01:21:28):
or you never have been, you're demeaning women who are.
And then if you're defending women who are, you're saying
that you did and that no matter what, women are
put in these impossible positions where we where we're denigrating
each other in a way, and this woman was denigrating
you and and trying to insinuate that if you'd ever

(01:21:49):
had a boyfriend who was the age of your assaulter,
you're this man couldn't possibly have assaulted you. It's like,
what does that even mean? There is no no connection.
So on that and all of a sudden, I have
a technical question because you made this you you did
the recording, you wore a wire. Did the police ever

(01:22:09):
give you a copy of that audio file or did
you only have the audio file from your own iPhone?
Just from my own iPhone? Wow, so you were never
given your own evidence by the police. Interesting? No, And yeah,
So anyway, in that moment of the discussion between me

(01:22:32):
and Martha, Bashford. I felt like I was the one
being accused of something. When like then at the end
she walked out. I was like, this didn't go well,
and like in my head, I was like, Okay, I
need to do something about And I was already thinking
who can I trust to give those recordings to at
the time, but I was so afraid because like I

(01:22:53):
was trying to get in touch with different journalists, but
I didn't know anyone. I was twenty two, justin New
York's three weeks. I didn't know enough people. I was
trying to get in touch to, like so many, and
I was like, I don't know who to trust. So
I had to see in the front line of the
newspaper the next day, not nobody calling me, so not

(01:23:16):
that d A calling me, not anyone calling me. And
I saw it, and if the news and the front
page of the New York Post, I think Harvey Wainstein
would not be criminally charged for whatever. And I was like,
aretty serious. Nobody even told me, like I had to
see it on the first page of a newspaper to
know that it would not being criminally charged. I was furious.

(01:23:40):
I was like, I mean, like I couldn't express it,
but like in my head, I was thinking every single
thing that was happening, like they are trying to really
really make me look stupid. So anyway, I got I
got on on and on, and I had paparazzo following

(01:24:01):
me everywhere, and I had my lawyer telling me that
Harvey wanted to like put these things aside and tried
to make me sign something. I was like no, no, no.
Every day I was telling him like no, no, I'm
sure these recordings is gonna go go get out. I'm
gonna find someone to give it to. You know, I'm

(01:24:22):
never going to sign anything and this and that like
for the days. Okay. Then one day my brother called
me from Italy and he said, Amber, listen, I have
a journalist here at my at my work and he's

(01:24:42):
asking about you. And I'm like where in Italy? Who
is this person? And it's like, oh, I don't know.
I didn't say like a name. He said, like he
was asking me question if I was your brother, And
I'm like what. And then in my head I started
thinking like super weare stuff like bad stuff, and and

(01:25:03):
I said, Cloudia, just just get home right now, don't
don't go to work these days, just stay home, Okay,
you were worried for his safety. I didn't know what
could have happened, you know, like I didn't know like
the amount of like in my head, of course, if
it's me, I could just go on a suicide whatever

(01:25:23):
like mission. If it touched any person that I care of,
of course, I have to give up. Like I could
never leave my life knowing that someone got through, you know,
like a situation because of me. So then I called
my lawyer and I said, okay, I think I'm going

(01:25:45):
to sign. And what happened next is that I signed
an NBA. And I remember I got to this office
and there was his lawyer, and his lawyer was so
nervous to meet me, and I talked to him like, oh,
good evening. Um It's like, oh, I'm so glad you're here. Amber.

(01:26:05):
I'm sorry, like it's so embarrassing situation. UM, I know
this is like not good, but thank you for being here.
And I'm like, yeah, I know it's not good, but
like I was there anyway, you know, I don't know
what else to do. I was like having my hands
tied up. But in my head, okay, I knew I

(01:26:26):
kept a copy of the recording because what happened is
that before signing I should have gave all my recordings
to be destroyed, access to all my emails, access to
my phone, to everything, so they could have destroyed all this,
like everything about him, and and I said okay, And

(01:26:47):
then I remember like one day, um, I couldn't whatever,
I fake to not remember this password of this email
that I sent the recording to, and and I was
acting very stupid at a time. I was trying to
like act like okay, I don't know what I'm doing
type of so that they would not figure that I

(01:27:10):
knew how to like copy without showing whatever. Like the
situation was like I opened you were playing. You were
playing them to protect yourself exactly. So in a way,
I copy a a recording. I copied the recording on
a computer of a friend of mine opening an email, uh,
but not showing that A transfer the file. So then

(01:27:32):
it closed it again, and I called my lawyers saying like, oh,
I remember this is the pastor you can give it
to them, so whatever. Like then it happened that I
signed the contract in front of this lawyer, knowing that
I had a copy of the recording, and I told him,
you know, I'm signing this contract, but if I hear
of him hurting anyone else, I would not care what

(01:27:55):
I'm signing. And I told him, and it's like, oh, yeah,
of course, sure, absolutely, So that's it. I signed that contract.
But then like I felt super bad, like I felt
like I didn't fight enough for something, Like I didn't
know what else to do, Like every single day I
was thinking, what what could I do? Maybe now I
could find someone to like give those recordings, like I

(01:28:19):
was trying to find someone, Like that's the thing, Like
I was praying every day to find someone, you know,
and I got into signing. Being afraid for your brother
and your mom is what motivated you to sign the
n d A. But even when you signed it, you
felt you felt like it was wrong. Of course I

(01:28:40):
would have not keep those recordings otherwise, like of course,
but you but I imagine you also felt like you
didn't have a choice. It's like if they know, if
they know where your family lives, and you know, you
see how powerful he is. It I imagine it it
felt like Italy all over again, but worse. Absolutely, Yeah,

(01:29:04):
And it strikes me as very interesting that they knew
there was a recording that Harvey and his lawyers knew,
which meant that the police had told them they knew
that there was evidence. And that's probably why he was
so scared. And I would imagine why you were so scared,
because if they believe that was the kind of evidence

(01:29:25):
that could destroy him, you know, do do you then
worry that that's the kind of evidence that threatens your life?
You know, it's a big it's a big thing you
were carrying on your shoulders. You saw what happened when
when the recordings came out, the worst most job everything,
he got to jail. That would have happened in and

(01:29:48):
I wouldn't lose two three years of my life. You
know they knew it. I mean, coming forward obviously impacted
your life in so many ways. When you said, you know,
two to three years of your life you lost, what
does that mean? Does that mean that you couldn't work?
Were people afraid to hire you? You know? What? Did

(01:30:08):
it look like? That's what happened. And also because I
got into a very huge depression first year, I gained
like thirty pounds because I was stressed eating and and
so of course in modeling at the time, it was
not possible to do it in that condition. But also
like psychologically I wasn't evil like the processing of my

(01:30:29):
thoats of like whatever, like I would think I was suicidal.
I was like having all of these problems. Okay. So
one year was that way. And then when I started
getting better because I started working out again, I was
in the Philippines and moved there, so I got that
to myself. But every time, like people were googling me,
I was Amber Battilana Gutierrez. That was you know, first

(01:30:54):
in Italy, you know, described as an escort going to
Burrow sconey House and can uh the one that black
mail like like you know, very famous Christen. And then
I was like, okay, I don't know what to do anymore.
Should I call myself? I don't know, Samantha read and

(01:31:14):
just started a new life or just trying to embrace
what's happening and try to think like there was a
reason of why. So there was a reason and uh,
and let's say that after two years and a half,
I'm happy that I kept believing in myself, you know,
And and I attracted the right path and I met

(01:31:35):
ron and run and and I like it was like
an angel came on heart, let's say for for helping me. Yeah,
it was. It was crazy. Yeah, what was your first
conversation with Ronan? Like on the phone? Yeah? Just how
how was the first conversation with him being able to

(01:31:57):
open up to someone and and realizing that this was
a person you could trust. I mean I didn't know
I was I could have trust him, but I don't know.
Like I was in my prayers, I was always like asking,
please send me somebody, you know, it's gonna happen, like
I know someone that's gonna come my way, you know.
And suddenly like this very weird call out of nowhere,

(01:32:20):
you know, and it's like, hello, my name is Ronnan Fara.
And I google him and I saw a little bit
of his life and this isn't that And it's like, oh,
you know, like I'm like investigating about this situation. Because
also like a few months before, like in October, I think, um,
I found out about Rose McGowan. There was you know,

(01:32:42):
accusing of a rape but not saying publicly his name.
It was like people saying it's Harvey Wednesday, but she's
not like you know, so I was like okay, because
already in October, I was like mad because I heard
about him rating someone and I was like, okay, but
this happened like very long time before, and I promised

(01:33:04):
myself only if I heard of anyone after me, I
would not, you know, like care of anything. So anyway,
I was waiting and waiting, and then suddenly ron and said, okay,
I'm working with this woman as well, and these other
woman as well, and these other woman, and so I
started speaking to him, and I wanted to test him

(01:33:26):
a little. So I was like I met him one
time and at the time, and at the time another somewhere,
another somewhere like this and that and that. And then
because I saw it was so passionate about like you know,
putting him dangerou for like getting out this truth of him,
I said, I can help you very much with something

(01:33:47):
that I have. And he's like, okay, well what is it?
And I said, I have his voice admitting what he
did to me on a record recordings that I did
with the police. And his eyes just went like what
I can I hear it? Can I hear it? What

(01:34:08):
can I hear it? And I'm like, yeah, let's meet
to some other place. So we went to this like
Brazilian restaurant somewhere like in Midtown and it was empty
and I had my old computer that I had my
brother flew in to give me UM and I played
this recording for the first time and he was like,

(01:34:30):
oh my god, Umbra, this is It's like it's perfect.
And he said, I know, just use it. I know
you're gonna use it, right, you know. So he went
to get like speakers because I told him, like record
the recordings because I was afraid to give him through

(01:34:52):
my USB through my computer. Yeah. So yeah, it was
like unbelievable. I thought I was in a movie again.
And yeah, so pretty much that's the story. Like. He
released the recordings the ten of October twenty seventeen, pretty much. Yeah,

(01:35:15):
And I remember that day like it was crazy. I
was sitting at home and he started receiving tons of
messages from people saying like, oh my god, Amber, Amber,
I just heard is recording. Oh my god, I'm sorry,
you were right, you were right, and this isn't that.

(01:35:35):
All the people just came back. It was so funny. Well,
and it makes me think about how many women have
had their stories downplayed or been told that they don't
deserve to be believed because they haven't had recordings. Yeah,

(01:35:56):
but these things have happened to them. I know. When
we think about, you know this, Harvey Weinstein became the
example for how men in power often abuse women and
abuse people who they believe hold less power than them.

(01:36:17):
When we think about his example holping to launch Me
Too and how it opened up channels to have these
conversations about men in power in so many industries and
what power does. When you look back at where Me
Too began and how far it's come, is there anything

(01:36:38):
that you wish was handled differently? Do you do you
have thoughts about where we still need to go? Yeah?
Like the first thought, of course, it's like I'm very selfless.
I did everything because I thought of someone else, Okay,

(01:37:00):
And I just feel a little like sad when I
think of the fact that I I really had to
lose many years of my life to have these things
and m placed. Let's say, and when instead in fifteen,
knowing that, you know, I exposed myself, there was nobody

(01:37:24):
there for me, you know, because I was the first,
the first that went out that got punched and destroyed,
and I was thinking like I wish someone would have
just give me a little help, you know, get in
touch with me some way, like to not have all

(01:37:45):
that life you know gone. And then second I feel that, okay,
we have the meet too out A lot of this
situation are happening, and we know it right now. But
let's again think selflessly. Let's work to not have this
type of situation happen anymore, okay, for others, not for us,

(01:38:08):
for others. Let's try to dedicate all of this power
that we have right now in our words to help
other people to change the law too. You know, like
right now I'm working with organization there are like first
of all for models with Model Alliance for example, So
we're working to help UM models rights to not be exploded.

(01:38:33):
You know how it is in this world is very tricky.
And also another organization in New York as well, called
Safe Horizon that is trying to change low about UM
removing the study of limitation for you know, abuse victims
that had not possibility to seek justice in the past

(01:38:53):
to try to reopen in all their cases to civilarly
sue their abuser. So right now we're trying to pass this,
We're trying to really push that for the state of
New York. I think in New Jersey already passed. I'm
not sure, but like for New York, it's kind of
like um complicated. Still, they passed the Child Survivors Act,

(01:39:14):
so like abuse children's can reopen their case and and
they started like already in twenty nineteen. So now they're
trying to prolong to the timing um. But this is
something that would be amazing for for the victims to feel,
you know, there they can heal, but also to give

(01:39:38):
the right example to people they're still doing this type
of things that nothing is gonna be hide anymore, you know,
so and people can't really heal without justice. It can't
just be on the victim to do the work and
go to therapy and get over it. Justice has to

(01:40:01):
happen so that abusers realized they can't continue abusing people.
I feel that the moment that Harvey Waynstead got behind bars,
so many people that even thought for a little min
like micro second, they could get out, you know, with
whatever they're doing, they're not doing it because it's always coming,

(01:40:24):
even if it takes time, it's coming. Yes, What was
your reaction when you saw the verdict. You know, Harvey
is now a convicted rapist and and sexual predator. What
what did that feel like? It? It was like freezing time.
Like it was kind of like that's something that visualized

(01:40:47):
for so much during the time that I was just
trying to image like a better reality for me that
like in that moment, I was like wow, you know,
like I couldn't believe it, Like the moment that they
convicted him, like it happened. So Friday, they had had
the jury went um they had to like still um

(01:41:10):
the side. Okay. So Friday, I was waiting all day
and then they didn't decide. So I spent the Saturday
and the Sunday like just eating trash food and like
doing like crazy things because I was so nervous, you know,
on waiting for Monday, okay. And I was waiting and

(01:41:31):
waiting and waiting. So Monday comes and I'm like waking
up early, getting ready and like going to the court
because I wanted to be there, you know. And and
then like suddenly I was home almost on the way
to the to the tribunal, and I got a message guilty.

(01:41:52):
And when I saw that, I was, oh, oh, I
was started screaming and starting. I was jumping all over
my place. I was like, I just thought of all
these other women, you know, that, like I had to
go through the hands of this person, you know, and
knowing that right now they have the justice they deserve,

(01:42:15):
and not even just a small justice. Because I was
thinking that the d A that was handling that case
and like my case that thrushed me away, was also
handling the same case. Okay. I didn't have hope on
anything in New York. I was hoping for LA because
I have to testify in l A and I will

(01:42:35):
be um part of that. In l A. They didn't
call me New York. Okay, they didn't play my recordings,
they didn't call me New York. Like, oh, it's obvious
that the d A is trying to avoid me. Okay
in New York. So I was like whatever, Like I
just want him to go to jail for the other women,

(01:42:55):
Like they were great, They're like, you know, doing a
lot of work, and I'm happy whatever it's gonna happen,
Like I want him in jail. So like I was
not believing it. I thought that New York would never
give him twenty three years like, well, it's crazy. So
I was happy, I was celebrating, and I'm like, wow,

(01:43:18):
I feel like I have nothing else to fight for,
you know, like everything is good now. I just have
to concentrate myself into my life rebuilding everything I lost,
and thankfully I'm doing it right now with the help
of many people that believe in me. And and yeah,
I'm working on so many things. So yeah, that's so great.

(01:43:39):
And it just reminds me that we can never give
up because there were so many times when you were
told that this story wasn't going to get out and
you didn't let it go, and Ronan didn't let it go,
and so many of the women didn't let it go.
And I just think that it's so incredibly important to

(01:44:01):
remember that if you just keep telling the truth, it's
going it's going to matter. Do you do you have
a message for young men and young women right now
about what you've learned, about why they should report the
things that happened to them, about how to how to

(01:44:25):
stay strong enough to to see it through. Yeah. I
believe in karma a lot, and that moment that I
heard that again really made me realize, Okay, it happened
before and that was happening to me. But what if
next time is my daughter or my cousin or my

(01:44:49):
sister or you know, someone else that would be close
to me, that I will suffered. As I said, I
was suicidal. Think of these people that would lose you know,
like very very close people just because of like a
traumatic situation that you didn't report. Just report things right now.

(01:45:09):
The justice is on your side, the media is on
your side. You have the possibilities, you know, to be listening.
Just do it, because like you are able now to
be a hero and saving people's lives being selfless, and
do it then, you know. So that's the only thing

(01:45:32):
because I really realized that my life would have no
meaning if I didn't help other people. So that's like
what makes me happy, and so I hope that other
people would understand it as well. Yeah, and there's strengthened numbers. Yeah,
so things are obviously looking up. There there's been a

(01:45:57):
I wouldn't say a repair, but at least the beginning
to rebalance some of the scales where justice is concerned.
When you when you think about things getting better, getting
back to work, where do you want to start? What
are what are you working on now. Yeah, of course

(01:46:21):
I'm still doing the modeling because I feel like I
I love the way it makes me feel like being
part of this artistic expression. I love everything about it,
from the behind the scene to the makeup, to the
designing of the clothes to becoming right really part of it.
I love it. And of course, like I'm trying to

(01:46:43):
gather every information about my life into a documentary and
a dramatized serious and I'm working with this amazing team
that it's from New York and and they're helping developing
everything because I feel that also growing up in my life,
I learned a lot from movies. I learned a lot
from documentaries, you know, because like my family was really um,

(01:47:07):
let's say, they didn't have so much time, you know,
because of course there was problems of working a lot
and this type of thing. So I learned a lot
from movies. Like something that really inspired about the wiring
was this movie of um the Lady with the Dragon tattoo. Yeah,

(01:47:29):
I felt like that movie that I saw when I
was nineteen years old just had me saying like I
would do that if I can, you know, like I
want to punish someone like that so I don't know,
like in my mind just got to that point, like
I saw this movie, like I want to be here,
you know, and I feel that this type of situation

(01:47:52):
that I went through and I can talk back to,
like really my childhood too, now can teach something to
someone just to say, like you're not alone, and these
are the mistakes that I've done, and these are the
things I could have done better, and these are the
things that I've done, and so I want to give
you the instructions or whatever it happened, so that nothing

(01:48:13):
like this is going to be repeated. So I'm doing this,
and I hopefully can you know, have these shown into
schools and wherever, like people really need to learn and like,
you know, get the information that they need, you know,
because like there's so much out there that even for

(01:48:35):
me when I was funny too, I didn't know what
to do. So I, yeah, I'm trying just to gather
all of those information and and yeah, hopefully it's something
that is gonna it's gonna happen then. Yeah, of course.
Now in Quarantine, I'm painting a lot, so I hopefully
one day I'm going to be able to call myself

(01:48:56):
a painter. That's something I would love to do. That's
so cool. That's so cool. Well, my last question for you,
and thank you so much for all of your time
and your vulnerability and and for reminding people that there's

(01:49:17):
always a very real human being involved in and the
things we read about. Um but my last question for
you is a podcast is called work in progress. And
I'm curious when you when you hear the phrase, what
what comes to mind as a work in progress in
your life right now? Well, I can say that I

(01:49:42):
learned through experiences and I really jump into situation even
if I'm not feeling ready, because like, deep inside, I'm
still like a very insecure person, you know, Like I
know that I need to learn so much and anything
in you know, just do things, you know, just do it,

(01:50:03):
don't think too much about it, Just do it. You know.
That's like the most thing I could say about me
as a working progress, Like trying new things all the time.
That's that's the thing, Like just keep working on yourself.
And yeah, like that that's the thing for about me,
Like even now, trying to develop something I've never done

(01:50:26):
before just for the sake of helping someone else. I know,
I'm not. I don't know where to start on anything,
but I'm doing it, so just just do it. That's
that's the Yeah, the thing I could say, mm hmm,
just have faith and go yes, faith and go yeah.

(01:50:49):
That's very cool. Well, thank you just for everything, I mean,
for not giving up and for never losing your moral compass,
and for knowing that you had to talk about what
happened to you so that hopefully it wouldn't happen to
other women. It's it's such a crazy, such a crazy

(01:51:13):
thing that we've dealt with for so long, and I
really hope that shedding light on it it really does
begin to make the change we all deserve. I hope
so as well, like it's gonna happen. Like we're many
people moving now to the right way, so let's keep
doing it together. Yeah, for sure. Thank you so much

(01:51:37):
for joining me to Sophia. Thank you very much for listening.
Thank you for This show is executive produced by Me,
Sophia Bush, and sim Sarna. Our associate producer is Cate Linlee.
Our editor is Josh Wendish, and our music was written
by Jack Garrett and produced by Mark Foster. This show

(01:51:57):
is brought to you by brilliant anatomy. The T

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