May 29, 2025 • 58 mins
Her motto in fourth grade was, 'If you can believe it and dream it, you can do it!' And Heather McMahan has done it! She's got a standup special streaming on Hulu right now, is on the road with her Bamboozled comedy tour, and is the host of her own popular podcast, "Absolutely Not!"
The comedian joins Sophia to discuss life on the road, the inspiration behind her podcast, and why hosting awards red-carpet shows is the wildest experience ever, but she has a bigger goal in sight . . . hosting the big show itself - The Emmys! Yes, she's manifesting!
Plus, Heather opens up about how losing her Dad impacted her comedy, how grief can expand one's capacity for joy, and how she knew her husband was the 'right one.'
Heather's comedy special, "Breadwinner," is streaming on Hulu now, and for info on how to see her live and in person on her Bamboozled tour, visit heatherontour.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress, Welcome
back Whipsmarties for an episode I am so excited about.
We are joined by one of my favorite comedians today,
(00:22):
Heather McMahon is on the podcast here to talk about
her latest comedy tour, her incredible podcast, and how she
manages to literally do it all. You can stream her
comedy special Breadwinner now on Hulu, in which she very
humorously and hilariously explores the pressures of being her family's
(00:45):
financial support, the perils of being a golf widow, wedding
planning on an overblown budget, in law dynamics, and more.
And you can get a dose of her every week
on her podcast Absolutely Not, she says absolutely not to
legitimately everything. She's making a safe space for us all
to tell all and bitch about all the rest. There
(01:06):
are no topics off limits on her show. She breaks
down every day struggles of doing the most and the
least at the same damn time. It is so funny.
It definitely brings me joy in a crazy, crazy year.
So let's dive in and hear from Heather. Okay, before
(01:33):
we jump into this insanity that we live in, I
got to rewind with you, because I like to know
who people were as kids. And this is why I
know you. I mean I met you as a I'm
probably a bumbling fan. Like when we met, I was like, oh,
I got aye. But we all know you from your
(01:57):
work and your jokes and your personality and the tours
and the space rushels and the things. If we went
back to before your life was this, and if you
got to hang out with yourself at like eight or
nine years old, would you see this version of you
in her? Or was it totally unpredictable.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
No, I would be able to look myself in the
eyes and be like, well, you did exactly what you
said you were going to do. I was a very
determined kid. I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
I was going to be in theater. I was going
to be in comedy. Actually is so interesting. I found
a book. My mom and I were cleaning out some
closets at her house, literally found a book last week.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
It was called Growing Up.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
And it was a book that like everybody in our
class in fourth grade wrote a little thing of like
what they want to be when they get older. Mine,
I shit you not, I'll pull it up. Mine a picture, Yes,
I have a picture of the whole thing. Mine was
me on stage getting a Grammy because I thought I
was going to be a singer. I did a lot
of musical theater as a kid. Lost the voice a
while ago. Oh, son, and so I'm on stage. It's
(03:02):
a little drawing of me getting my Grammy. Oh, I
don't mind me as I'm scrolling for it. Okay, so
let me just show you this.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
So this is me. I don't e ses at the
Grammys right old and God.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
My whole thing it says when I grow up, I
want to I want to be a star and have
many opportunities to accomplish this dream. I'd love to have
my own record label and my own production company as well.
I go on to basically say, if you can believe
it and dream it, you can do it. And then
I say I'd love to have a show like Rosie O'donnald's.
She's just such a great person with a lot of talent.
(03:35):
And I literally like go on to say, like I,
this is what I want to do. I knew I
was going to be an entertainer from a little kid,
and my mom and I found this and we were
cracking up. I'm like, I was writing this shit down
in the fourth grade. I knew what I wanted to do.
But I think that became a harder thing later and
in life because when I got to college, I was
so envious of my friends who were like undeclared, who
(03:59):
didn't know what they want wanted to do, because that
felt more freeing to me. I was like, oh, you're
still trying to figure out exactly what you want to do.
I know what I want to do, but it still
seems so far away.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
So when by the time you got to college, was
it a feeling of pressure you were putting on yourself
or was it that you were on the precipice of
you know, quote unquote adulthood and still didn't know how
you were going to get your foot in the door.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
A mixture of both. I think when you are because
I since.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I was a little kid, I always said I'm going
to be on stage, I'm going to be doing something
in the arts. So I think to go into college
and know exactly what I wanted to do.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Like I went to the University Mississippi.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
A lot of my girlfriends wanted to stay locally or
you know. They I was like, oh no, once I
get out of here, I'm moving to New York, I'm
doing stand up, I'm doing the thing.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
So for me, it was like, I, while I.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Enjoyed my college experience so much, I was ready to
like get to the next thing, and then I got
out and I was like, now this is where the
fun starts. But it was also terrifying because I knew
how long, you know. I knew it was going to
take a while to get the ball rolling. So I
was always envious of the folks who were like, I
don't know what I want to do. I was like, Wow,
to have that freedom, to be able to figure it out.
I actually felt that that was more freeing than knowing
(05:10):
exactly what I wanted to do, because I was like,
the pressure is on and the clock is ticking, it's
we got to go. And now, looking back, I would
be like, that's insane. I would tell people you can
reinvent yourself a billion times through your life, right of course,
But yeah, no, I knew I was a very driven kid.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I'm obsessed.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Now it turned out I need an.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Actual copy of that photo I want to make, Okay,
so obviously Rosie O'Donnell is one answer to this question.
But who else from the comedy world inspired you when
you were growing up.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I was a.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Huge Lucille Ball fan because I'm very big in a
physical comedy, so watching her that was like, I mean,
she was the idol.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
But for the reason I got understand up was Joan Rivers.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Joan was just saying things back in the day that
women did not have. You know, I don't want to
say the balls to say I didn't have, uh, you know,
the the tits to say, like, she just knew what
she was doing. And when I was starting out and
stand up in New York, I would follow her all
the time and go see your shows. And I got
to meet her outside of a show one night and
I was like, miss Rivers, I just want you to
(06:15):
know I'm such a fan. You're the reason why I
got into comedy. And she was like, I have a
good feeling about you. You're gonna You're gonna make it.
Years later, I moved to La I'm sitting at a
bar one night at Doms, you know, the sister restaurant
to Little Doms, but it was work clothes and I'm
sitting in there at the bars and I hear her
walk in. I was like, I know that voice. So
(06:36):
I go over to her table and I'm like, hey,
miss Rivers, I just want you to know I took
your advice. I moved to LA because she told me
to move to Lay. She's like, you have a very
commercial look. You need to be doing television. You need
to move.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
So I went to LA and I said, I took
your advice. Like, thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Here, I am doing the thing. She's like, I'm telling you,
I have a really good feeling about you. You're gonna
make it. And I swear to god, I got in
my car.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I called my dad.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I was sitting in the valet at this restaurant. I
was like, Joan, gave me your blessing. She died like
nine months later, no, h huh, huh huh wow. And
I got to meet her daughter, Melissa about a year ago,
and I told Melissa, I was like, you don't understand,
like your mom meant everything to me and was such
a guiding light in the stand up world for me.
So I'm just so grateful to her.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
That was so special. Yeah, I mean an icon.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Truly, Who did you follow growing up? Because I mean,
you've been doing this forever though.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
I mean kind of. I you know, I wanted to
be a doctor. I thought I was going to be
a heart surgeon. That was my plan. And then I
had an arts requirement because I went to this great,
I mean amazing school in Pasadena, and I was like,
I don't want to do this. You know, they gave
us these two years of arts requirements. In every semester
(07:54):
you had to do something different, and I thought I
was going to game the system by putting off the
theater requirement until the same semester I was supposed to
play volleyball. And they were like, you did this to yourself,
Like you are at school to learn how to be
a functioning adult, and you chose to delay this. And
if you've done it last semester, you could have done
a play and done a sport, but now you're going
(08:17):
to have to miss your sport to do this. And
I was like, what such a lesson about you know,
personal accountability? Really early and then I did this play
and I was like, wait, I love this. It's not
all by the way, no shade. I love musical theater,
but I'm also just like not a musical theater kid.
I was like, wait, theater isn't the sound of music.
(08:39):
You can, like, you can do these really topical, intense
or comedic things where you don't have to sing on
stage what And it changed my whole life. I was like, well,
but my favorite subject has always been English and this
is basically just a book that's alive. Yeah, and so
(09:00):
it really shifted the whole thing for me. And then
when I told my parents that I wasn't going to
go to medical school, I wanted to go get a
BFA in theater. You can imagine how well that went over.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I'm sure assholes were clenched. It's like at that moment
they're like, Mom, Dad, I'm a thespian and the parents
are like just gravely disappointed.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Well, and my dad, ironically enough, you know, for his
whole career, was a really wonderful photographer, which is also
why I think I ride so hard for the crew,
because I'm like, I'd come from a crew family, even
though my dad's like crew job was deeply cool. And
one of the people he photographed for the longest run
over his forty plus years career was John Rivers. Wow, yeah,
(09:43):
he must have like they were tighter her yeah, like John,
you know, she'd have something to do in New York
and be like, absolutely not. You got to fly Charles
Bush out here from LA. I'm not shooting with anybody here.
She she had a point where she was like, nobody
knows how to light me, bring my guy, and like
it would. They had a very sweet friend.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Wait if he still has any prints, I'm going to
ask them because.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
I already wrote down a note.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
I'm like, oh, I'm redoing a office in my house
right now, and that's what I need.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
And I was stuck Getty Images.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I was like, I need a blown up rent like
an iconic photo of Joan in this Yes, my office.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Wow, what a cool gig.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
So cool, so so cool. And yeah. I remember years
later when I was working on TV, my parents finally
were like, so crazy that you're doing this. When you
first told us you were going to go to theater school,
I was like, I know, you freaked out and my
dad was like, no, you don't understand. Like the level
of meltdown was so intense. He goes, and your mom
(10:42):
looked at me and goes, this is your fault. You
turned your fucking hobby into your career and now shaving.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
She can do it too. My dad used to have
the same argument with my mom.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
He's like, you always want to be Barbarer streis saying,
and it didn't work out. So I pushed it on
Heather and my dad would write letters to my sorority house.
I do all miss like the top ten reasons why
he thinks I should pivot and go into the Air Force.
And it was like number one got number two, you
come from a long line of eighty eight ors number
three like you look great at the uniform. And I realize, like,
I'm not a parent, but I realized now, as you know,
(11:15):
I watch my parents, I'm like, oh, parents just parented
out of fear.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Like they were just constantly trying, like, you know, we
just want to.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Make sure that you don't fuck it up because we
at some point probably fucked our shit up. So I
was always like, Dad, don't worry about me. Don't worry.
I am going to figure it out. And it's been
very bittersweet to have the success that I've had because
my dad hasn't been here to see it. I lost
my answer about ten years ago and everything started to
click after it passed and I had wonderful relationship with
(11:43):
my dad, even though he was always like please get
in Dell Estate, like.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Don't go into the show. So it's been like it's tough.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
I'd have all these iconic moments and like on tour,
like playing Radio City, and I'm like, damn it, I
wish the one person who's here to see it isn't here.
But I have to just know that he's always me.
There's always a probably my dad.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Oh gosh, yeah that I can. I can just feel
that bittersweet thing because it is the it's the best,
and oh how cool it would be for him to
be able to see it.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah. I imagine if my dad was alive, he would
be running security. He'd be selling merch like he would
be doing all about oh yeah, eating it up, taking
photos of ladies outside the theater.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Your dad running the merch table is like all that
feels right to me. And my bones. I want my
bones too, right in like in the next universe over
I believe that it's happening. Yeah, oh my goodness. Well
is that part of why you feel because I've heard
you talk about how you feel like a late bloomer
(12:51):
in your career because things really blew up, you know,
after you turned thirty. Do you think that the the
that sort of time feels particular for you too because
of that loss? Because I think when you go through
something like you know, losing a parent who you're so
close to, or you know, someone who is your person,
(13:13):
it's like there is a before and an after. It's
such a marker of time. And because he hasn't been
here to see some of this stuff, do you think
that influence is that feeling?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Oh yeah, I mean my twenties were the years where
I was in New York and la hustling, grinding, doing
the thing one woman shows, do an improv, doing stand up,
all that, and then you know, I lost my dad
caught like two years before I was thirty. And then
I get into my thirties and then they listen, my
point of view in my perspective just totally changed. My
(13:48):
comedy was richer because I had, you know, comedy and tragedy.
I'd gone through something so horrifically tragic to then just
have a different point of view in perspective and.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Just in life richer way.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
And I say, now like I have felt the worst
feeling you can ever feel, So now when things are good,
they feel even bigger and better. I don't know, it's
an adulum of joy and sadness swings so wildly one
way or the other, and so I feel like I
appreciate shit a lot more. Yes, you know, I always say,
(14:22):
like other people who've been through something traumatic like that,
like losing a loved one far too young.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
We always find each other. We just all have a
different perspective.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
And some days can be a little frustrating being around
other folks who haven't experienced that. And that's not to
their fault, like good for everybody still as their their
core family around, but there are moments where I'm like, oh,
just if you've been through it, you get it. You know,
it's a different communication with other people, I think.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
And now a word from our sponsors who make this
show possible. I have not lost my parents, for which
I'm very grateful, but me and my whole community lost
someone that was so important to us. I mean, it
(15:15):
just it rocked us all so intensely, and I think
the thing the biggest shift that it did for me,
and I wonder if you feel this. I always used
to repeat that cliche, and like cliches are so fucking annoying,
But they're cliches because they're so true, right, Like that's
why everyone says them. Everyone always is like, ah, life's
(15:38):
too short. Life's too short to not try the thing,
Life's too short to not be in lovela la. And
when I went through that sort of grief, what I
realized is life is too short, but life is also
way too fucking long, because when you have to live
(15:58):
without someone, I think you understand how blessed you are
to be alive, but also how long life is going
to be if you're lucky. And it really there was
something about it that, rather than kind of rolling my
eyes anytime somebody was, you know, going through their personal
(16:19):
version of life is too short, like, it almost gave
me a freedom back because there have been times since
then that I have looked around and gone, life may
be too short, but it's I'm still on this earth,
and it is way too fucking long to be this unhappy,
because if I died tomorrow, I wouldn't want to be
(16:39):
stuck in this shitty job with this person who hits women,
or stuck in this shitty relationship you know where I'm
walking on eggshells in my own house like it don't.
I can't explain it. It gave me this tenacity to
like try my hardest and get to the end of
the road. But if that road was a dead end,
(17:00):
I'm turning around because I'm reclaiming my time.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I fully hear this, and I think, especially as women we.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
In our age group too, we.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Have to get so focused on doing the one thing
and checking all these things off a list. And I
have so many girlfriends who are in their early forties
late thirties right now, who are pivoting in a wild direction,
and I'm like, do it. Who gives a shit? Okay,
you got the degree in XYZ. You're miserable.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Life is to go.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And so I'm like, you know, I talk about being
a late bloomer in my career, but I'm like, fine,
if tomorrow I had to do real estate, I would
do real estate and I would like figure it out,
you know, or whatever it is. It's life is too
short and too long to be miserable. Yes, one thing
with grief too. And you'll notice this.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
People say, oh, you know, it gets easier to time.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I actually think you get so much harder with time,
because now I sit back in my grief, and I'm like, oh,
now I haven't heard my dad's.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Voice in ten years.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I think the further you get away from it, yeah,
you're a little bit more numb to it. But then
you're like, oh god, that just grips me in a
different way. It's like a it sits heavier on my
chest because I realize how far away I'm from those
those memories and experiences with my dad.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I had a woman one day.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
She meant well, but she dm me and I put
something up for my dad's birthday and she was like,
I wish you would put, like, you know, more photos
up of your dad. And I just responded to her.
I said, hey, girl, I don't have any more photos
of my dad, Like these are all the memories I have.
Those memories are done, like I only have so many
photos and then I've shown you them all and then
(18:31):
they're done. And she was like, oh shit, I didn't
even think about that. I'm like, yes, like like those memories,
we're not making new memories, sweetheart. What do you want
that's on spring break that.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Hasn't happened in nine years?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
You know?
Speaker 3 (18:45):
Yeah, so also too.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Dealing with that. Have to just know that people will
say the most ignorant shit. A lot of folks reach
out to me, they're like, hey, I just lost a
loved one. You know what do I how do I
navigate it? And I say, give yourself grace, give other
people grace, because they're going to say stupid shit to
you because they're just ignorant. They haven't been through it.
But if anybody says at any point at the funeral,
(19:08):
years down the road or whatever, they're in a better
place for everything happens for a reason, no, tell them
to go themselves and like, and this is done. And
then you never speak to that person again.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Yeah, like you have to. I can't. I can't deal
with this shit.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
No, we just no, thank you. Some things are just
a tragedy and that's okay.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yeah, and that's okay, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Well, and you said something about how you know you
feel like grief has sort of expanded your capacity for
joy and it I will never forget in my in
my twenties, it was a book I read in college
that's like, I mean ancient. I think for fourteen hundred
(19:50):
and fifteen hundreds era is considered ancient, right, poet, Yeah,
for sure, Khalil Gibron, who wrote like this amazing kind
of meditation on life, and I'm going to paraphrase because
you know, I don't have fourteenth century poetry memorized, but
he essentially says in this one chapter of the book
that your capacity for joy is as large as you
(20:15):
are carved out by sorrow, and like you said, the pendulum,
and it's like it is. It's so emotional, but it's
also kind of science, right, every action has an equal
in opposing reaction, and there's something kind of profound to
me about that where you're like, oh, it's like the
(20:36):
most raw thing I feel in my heart and like
what is a heart? What is a soul? And then
on this other side there's this science to it and
they meet somehow, and yes, I'm perhaps I'm more capable
of holding more things because of this, and I don't know,
(20:56):
it's like that to me, is is the silver lining.
That's what I think people are trying to get at
when they say dumb shit, like everything happens for a reason,
and you're like, that's not the thing to say. The
other the thing to say maybe is just I'm so
sorry for this tragedy. And also I'm so glad you
(21:17):
got to laugh with that person for as many years
as you did.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
That's a great way to put it. I also feel that,
you know, I'm lucky. I had twenty seven amazing years
with an amazing daddy. My girlfriends still have, you know,
troubled or strained relationships with their fathers. Yeah, And I
don't try and push it on them, like you have
to fix that because they're you know, everybody's going through
their own shit.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
But I do.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
I have to be glass that full and say I
had twenty seven great years with the greatest man ever.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
So like I feel richly blessed in that sense. And
I am a.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Wildly naturally joyful person. And even when I went through this,
I'm like, what can I do. I can either let
this cripple me and destroy me, and I can be
mad at the world and I never get through this.
Or I can pivot and turn this anger and sadness
and somehow bring it back to joy and then live
my life. That's what my dad would want, That's what
(22:10):
I think everybody's loved ones would want. Yeah, I can't.
He would be like, get your ass up, go do something,
Go make someone laugh.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Like, well, that was for yourself.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Exactly right, and him him loving your comedy, I'm sure
was also such a reminder like he he would be
upset if you had given that up in your sadness.
And I think it's so special and like even the
way you talk about him, I wonder if you know
this great relationship you got to have with your dad, Like,
do you feel like that influenced the way you fell
(22:40):
for your husband? Do you feel like you guys have
such a solid relationship because you had a solid relationship
modeled for you. Oh.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Yes, And my dad was such a he loved he loved,
loved being a girl dad.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
And you can still have a sense of confidence.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
I think in my sister and I I mean, I
joked I was an overly confident kid because my dad
was like, you can do anything.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
You're a McMahon, you can do anything. You would always
say that. And when I met my husband, it was
one like they kind of look alike. So I'm sure
there's some thing there.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
But yes, my my husband reminds me so much of
my dad in a great way. And when my husband
and my dad met, which I feel very grateful that
they had a beautiful relationship before my dad passed. But
I just remember being like they were like two peas
in a pod. And my husband and I were living
in New York at the time, and he would come
down and my dad would like steal him. He's like, well,
Jeff and I are going to go do guy stuff
all day, like they were best buts and so me
(23:33):
them have a mutual respect for each other. Was also
just like I knew I found the right one. And
when my dad got sick, he died very quickly. From
the day of diagnosis to the day of dad that
was one week, so he was very and unfortunately he
passed the pancreatic cancer. But we flew him to M
d Anderson in Houston to get like, you know, the
best care, and I feel very grateful to.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Them that they did everything they could.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I flew down and immediately asked my dad for his
hand and ever my hand in marriage.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
It was very sweet.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
So like, you know, I feel blessed that they had
that moment together.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
You know, that's so special.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
He is my father down to Like.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
If they both didn't have a Lumberjack breakfast like full
bacon egg, then like the day could not start, you know,
oh my god, the drama.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
But my husband's great too because he allows me to
holy be myself. He is like, go, go be as
ridiculous on stage as you want, just be you. He's
never once told me to like tone it down, you know,
to volume a little lower. He's like, keep going, And
that's why I know I married the right person.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
That's amazing. And you know what, it really does take
a person who has a healthy relationship to their own
ego to not say, hey, maybe don't share this. Yeah,
maybe don't tell the world about this part of our relationship,
or or make this a joke that amps up this
fight we had or whatever. It's like, he has to
(24:57):
be very emotionally healthy to be like, oh, yeah, go
make fun of me and everyone. You know.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
As I've gotten older too, I could give a shit
where you got a college degree. What you do for
a living. Emotional in diligence to me is the biggest
turn on everything. It makes me horny. I'm like, you
can sit down, have an adult conversation. We can like
you know, it doesn't even have to be dramatic, but
we can talk about our feelings and like we can
agree to disagree, but be adults about this.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I'm let's do it. I mean, and you know, there
are aspects in comedy.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
There there are things where I'll be like, hey, are
you cool if I talk about this or whatever, and
we have a conversation about it. But he is just
so secure in himself. He's like, Yeah, somebody's gonna relate
to it. It's gonna make someone laugh, it'll make someone think,
surely someone's going through the same situation. So very open
and supportive of me going out there, and you know,
sometimes ripping him a new asshole for.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
The sake of the most buddies of you.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
When I was on a press tour for my last
special that came out, and the specials called Breadwinner, and there.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Was a whole like I was just gonna ask you about.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
This, Yes, the whole arc about it about how I
make more money than him a man. Every single interview
they were like, how does Jeff feel about this? How
does your husband feel about you talking about this? And
I'm like, every male comedian since the dawn of time
has been doing this and you don't ask how their
wives feel about this shit, how they're about them making
fun of them on stage. Why is it all of
(26:22):
a sudden, like you know, you're peppering me about it.
So I finally was just like, Jeff, Fine, he's playing
golf right now.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
You know he didn't give a shit.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yeah, You're like, they're like, Jeff, Jeff is this generation's
kept woman and he likes it. Yeah, because he still
gets to benefit from being a man.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Something I think is so cool about you guys is
that you met before your career totally blew up. You know,
the specials and the tours and the things. What is
that like for you? You know? I guess I ask this,
I'll be really vulnerable and say why, because I've once
or twice or a handful of times in my life
been like, oh, this person who has said the right
(27:10):
things is drawn to the wrong things. Ah. I've sort
of had the bamboozol moment, and you know, we live,
we learned. It's what therapy's for. But I find it
really at this stage in my life being able to
look back in that you know, twenty twenty hindsight vision, YadA, YadA.
(27:33):
I'm like, damn, I had no idea what I was
in for when the show I started at twenty one,
blew up, you know, and we were removed, which you know,
gave us our own set of like high school round
two ridiculousness. But I've never, like I've never in my
(27:55):
whole adult life. I've not since high school or I
guess college gone on quote unquote anonymous date. Yeah, and
so like, I don't know. I love y'all's relationship, and
I can feel how good it is, and I wonder
(28:15):
what's it like for you to have had him before this,
what's it like for him to navigate the changes? And
how do you do that together? How do you sit
down and say, all right, we're going to talk it
out and we're going to be great because we love
each other, and sometimes we'll disagree, Like how does this
whole thing work when you've been on this roller coaster
ride together.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
I feel very grateful that I did meet Jeff when
I did, which was you know, we were twenty three
years old or in the early days living in New York,
because he was always my champion and even when you know,
it's interesting we started dating I'm living in New York
for like a year and a half, and then I
told him I sat him down one day and I said, hey,
(28:55):
I got to move to la because Joe Rivers told
me to move del like trying Italian restaurant on the
Upper East Side. He's like, I knew this is gonna happen,
but at no point, like we never broke up. He
was like, go full forward, go ahead, my child, Like
he said, I don't ever want to get in the
way of your dreams and for you to resent me
down the line. So even though we were long distance
(29:15):
for a long time, we just kept supporting each other.
I kept supporting him business, and again we did not
know what when lightning was going to strike, but I
never once questioned his support on what I wanted to do.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
And I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
There were moments a couple of his friends sat him
down and we're like, hey, how long are you gonna
support Heather kind of chasing this comedy dream like it's
it hasn't worked out yet, Like really, like are you
when are you gonna have the honest conversation with her
that maybe she needs to pivot? And sure enough, like
nine months later, everything took off. And he told me
that two years later and he's like, I never told
(29:52):
you this, but I want you to know. I told
him to all like fuck off. He's like, no, that's
my girl. She's gonna be fine.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
I feel grateful that Jeff. Really we were always each other.
There's champion.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
And I used to make a joke when I would
be doing comedy shows in a basement somewhere in like Queen's.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
You know, there's like four people in the audience.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
My husband would be there in a suit from his
like corporate gig, and he'd be on the front row,
and everybody thought he was my manager. And then they
were like, wow, your manager is so dialed in.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
On your career. I'm like, no, I blow that guy.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Don't it is?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
You know, it's been interesting now because when through comedies, especially,
I share so much of my relationship and listen.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
A lot of jokes.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
But there are moments where people will say certain things
to him or I know, he didn't sign up for
his life to be in a microscope, but there's so
much bullshit out there that there are days where he's like, oh,
don't go on Reddit. This is the dumbishit I've ever heard,
or don't oh, don't read that DM, and you're like, guys,
this is comedy.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Everybody piped down.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
You know, there are moments where we're just have to
both have to drown out the noise.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
But yeah, he's my buddy. Bit we're right or die together.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
God forbidding where to get hit by a bus tomorrow,
I'm done, Like, I'm good, Yeah, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I'll get it totally. Well more French bulldogs. Live on
a commune with my girlfriends and all their kids, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Going, yeah, yeah, yeah, You're like, no, I've got the one.
Thank you. I love that. I think that's so special.
And now a word from our sponsors. Girl, I get it,
and I'm thank you even for saying it, because sometimes
(31:34):
when you're in this crazy, zany world, I think you
can forget that other people are dealing with the craziest,
zaniest parts of it. And yeah, there are just days
that I'm like, oh, I can't go on the internet today,
like this is kooky. A friend sent me something recently
and was like, this is so fucking dumb, you know,
(31:55):
and it's like from some gossip site blah blah, And
I was like, first of all, why are you looking?
And second of all, I'm going to say this with
all the love I can muster, why the fuck would
you send this to me? Because I'm like, I don't
want to see it. I can go about my day
and not see this dumb shit. And the funniest part
was to me that like, there was all this speculation
(32:16):
honestly just about a dumb inside joke a friend made
to me, because sometimes if you don't laugh about something,
you know at the time you'll cry. And I so
badly wanted to clap back at this person and be like,
tell me you don't have a sense of humor without
saying I don't have a single cell in my body
capable of humor. And then I was like, what's the
(32:37):
fucking point. I'm not even going to bother engaging. But
it's like, it is so weird when you're just outliving
your life and people make a story out of everything
that's actually it's it's their story, it's not yours, it
has nothing to do with you.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Reddit it's wild and you're like, wait, what I mean,
it's like cuckoo their hands. I'm like, guys, I'm exhausted.
I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
I don't know how y'all came up with these theories that, yeah,
wearing a blue sweater for three days in a row
and therefore like durable disease.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
I'm like, what is happening?
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yeah, I was getting bullied for a minute. Somebody was like,
your eyelash extensions are horrible. And then finally one day
I was like, oh god, they are they are.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
You're like, you know what, you know, you could have
said it a little differently, but you did me as solid.
Redditors noted thank you.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
But for the most part, because I do comedy, people
are like, you're my buddy. And that's what's fun is
being able to talk about things that I know gals
are having private conversations with with their girlfriends, and then
being able to explain it on stage and to have
that moment where people in the audience like, oh, fuck,
that's what that's what we've been feeling. That's exactly it's
(33:55):
the community feels really good, and that's when you know
you're in the pocket. I'm like, you have thought exactly
what I'm feeling and saying right now, And I like
people to leave my show being like, oh shit, never
never thought of it like that, or or that was
right on the money.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
That feels very good.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Okay, So how do you think about that? Because I
think from the outside, you know, I watch a special
or I come to a show and it's all I mean,
it's tight, you've got a tight sixty or a tight ninety.
But building to that and knowing when you leave a
show having a hunch based on audience reaction, what they're
(34:32):
going to walk out thinking about, how do you do?
To me? It feels like a great big math problem essentially,
like doing a special, how do you do the math
and figure out I want to talk about this. I
want to hit this topic, but I want to do
it in a way that'll make them think, maybe not
make them mad, Like what's the recipe for you this far?
Speaker 2 (34:55):
In?
Speaker 3 (34:56):
It's trial and error too.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
I mean, when you're working a tour, I go out and,
like some people like to work, run five minutes, and
run ten minutes and fifteen, and then they build to
the hour.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
I'm a sociopath.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
I like to go out on the road with what
I'm gonna guess is probably ninety minutes, and then I
scale back from there and I'll start a tour and
you know, be running all this shitting clubs. But I
like to run the full hour and then I'll go
and separate those little bits and then run it like that,
which is not it's insane, but I think because I'm
an old theater kid, I only know how to work
(35:28):
in like full you do the.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Play, I do the play, I go, I.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Got It feels scary, but I know.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Then I scale back.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
But you know, running stuff in clubs is the best
because I'm just out there and I'm all right, that
did not work, and you just say it out loud.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Nope, yep, that worked. Then I scale back from there.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
But like for my first special, it was called Son
I Never Had, so I knew that the whole idea
was going to be about my relationship with my dad
as a kid, explaining who I was. This was the
first special for people to like understand who I was
out the gate if you were going on Netflix and
your like, who is this person? And I wanted to
explain my relationship with my dad, the humor behind how
(36:07):
we passed, and that was kind of like my first.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Little tea up for folks.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
And then the special bread Winner was all about this like, okay,
now I've made it this over the top Italian wedding
that I had this thirty day honeymoon. How they got
into my head, all these things that happened, and I
wanted it women to walk away and feel like, oh shit,
we're feeling this too. And the next hour that I'm
working on, I'm talking a lot more about politics, which
(36:31):
I had never touched on before, and I'm just talking
about that, like, you know, that feeling as a Southern woman.
We're all sitting in this weird world and trying to
justify things in our brain and have hard conversations with
our girlfriends and while also going out there and you know,
like trying to make sure our extensions aren't falling out
(36:52):
and our tits are.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
To our that's where we're you know, you know what,
we can do it all.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
We can do it all.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
We can do it all, honey. That particularly, I think
when you have something to say about politics, it's like
people suddenly think you're no fun. Yeah, they think it's
your whole personality. And I'm like, ye'ah, I'm wild, I'm
so fun. But I will absolutely, you know, take Mitch
McConnell to task over his trash policy. And I really
(37:21):
do believe. I think, especially when you are an entertainer,
a performer. It's because you love people. You love people
and their stories. You love being able to represent people.
You love being able to gather people. You love being
able to help people feel seen. And so when people
(37:41):
are like, why are all you actors so fucking political,
I'm like, because we have to be, because our whole
job is to love people and tell their stories. How
can I look at what's happening to people in the
world and be silent?
Speaker 2 (37:57):
And also, like, my job as a comedian is to
take the things that are going on in the world,
observe them, and either help us work.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
Through it, giggle about it, or go what the look?
That is my entire job.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Yes, yes, and you know I've been doing this new
bid about how like a lot of Maga moms couldn't
believe that I didn't vote for Trump because on paper
I look like the typical maga mom blonde.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Hair extensions, you know, from the South.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Went to the University of Mississippi, and they had felt betrayed,
And I was like, whoa, what has happened here that
I was not clearly speaking up up enough for y'all
to think that I was voted for Trump. But the
reception is great, because I mean, you got again as
a pendulum swing, so you got to make fun of
both sides.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Yeah, I say that.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
There are moments where I'm like, God, because I live
in Georgia, am I gonna have to cage fight Marjorie
Taylor Green?
Speaker 3 (38:45):
I may have to at some point, for.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
You might have to. We might have to. She you know,
she was being insane the other day and I posted
something about it, and somebody goes, well, if you have
this kind of heat for her, where's your heat for
Jasmine Crockett? And I that, honey, Jasmine's just matching their volume.
And she went yeah, and I was like, we're I'm
(39:08):
I in the year twenty twenty five. Am done going high?
I did it for a long time. I grew up
in the young Michelle Obama school of politics. That was
my jam. And you know what now, I'm like, bitch,
you want to go low, meet me in the gutter.
I've come from a long line of Italians in New Jersey.
Meet me in the gutter. Let's go.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
I feel the exact same way. And that's, you know,
my job in comedy. I'm like, I'm talking about the
things that again, all these girls are talking about other
their country clubs. So they're talking about, you know, at
the PTA meeting whatever. I know, I'm going to make
you sit and have a and think about it in
a different way because we have to like, why are
we not as women having these conversations.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
No, we have to, Oh, this is why we really
need to do our show.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
We need to do our show.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
We have to do a show.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
We've got to. Let's do it. We'll get okay for.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
The friends at home. Sometime times I forget that people
listen to this and I'm like, oh good, we're just
having like a glass of wine on zoom and we
don't have wine currently listeners, but I wish we did.
It's a little too early, but you know, next time
I am talking about how it was. I think two
years ago at the big Elton John Aids Foundation fundraiser
(40:19):
that coincides with the Oscars, we'd had a couple of
tequilas and decided we were going to do a TV
show together, and we got to figure out what.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
It is we with it.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
We have no idea what the show is, but we
were like, oh, we want to go to work together
every day.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
This would be fun and my favorite thing is figuring
out that creative And I think because I write stand up,
I love the pitch like your old school actress where
you go in and probably crush an audition.
Speaker 3 (40:46):
I am so bad at audition.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
I can let me do the sales of it, let
me go in and razzle dazzle the network, and then
just show up on set.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
But don't make me audition.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Auditions are also so weird because your whole job as
an actor is to make a space and a relationship
feel like yours, and then you do an audition like
this in front of a fucking sheet with no human
and someone who the whole time they're reading with you
god bless the casting director, but like they're reading on
(41:19):
the paper, and you're like, but the whole way I
do my job is to connect with someone and we
have a beat and we have a little high moment
and then we both giggle, and none of that can
happen in an audition.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
No, And I have this theory that I swear by
that all of my self tapes that I and I'm
always reading with like my husband or my mom and
my basement, I'm like, these never got to the casting director.
They never got to the producers. They are sitting in
a vault somewhere and at my funeral, it will be
like like a.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Cruel, practical joke. These auditions.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
That's your episode of punk. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
Like that sweet sweet girl she thought she was auditioning.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
That sweet girl from Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
That's sweet Southern Bale.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
She thought she was auditioning, but really we were just
pulling one big prank on her.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
And I'm like, God, why am I not?
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Oh my god, jobs, You're like, what the fuck is
going on here?
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
I love that. Okay, I have this question for you
because we don't know what our show is going to be,
but I do think about things I want to watch
you do, which is you know, fun for me as
a fan and a friend.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
I love this.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
What award show would you want to host if you could?
Because I think you need to host an award show?
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Well, I am a TV nerd, so I would love
to do the Emmys. Ooh okay, yeah, I mean Nikki
did an incredible job at the Globe.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
She was so good.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
Conan was phenomenal at the Oscars. He's coming back. But
I think the Emmys would be really really fun.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Oh and Chelsea crushes what did she do the sad
Yes critics Choice critics Choice, Yes. I think doing the
Emmys would be insane. Really Okay, I've been, you know,
doing some of the red carpet stuff allah Joan Rivers,
but I'm really only getting my footing there because it's
it's that is actually out of performing ninety minutes of memory,
I stand up being you know, doing sales pitches whatever.
(43:03):
The podcasting. Doing the Red Carpet is the hardest gig
I have ever had.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
It is so scary to me thinking about that.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
You have a producer in your ear, you're doing quick
changes live on air, you have cards, their publicists are
saying don't ask them about this, or ask them about this,
or make sure you hit this note. And you have
thirty seconds to talk to Arianna Grande, who's just like
floating through the air because she's such an angel, and
you're like, what is happening? Yeah, a gnarly gig. People
don't realize how hard doing live hosting is.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
I yeah, I don't know how you do it. I'm
endlessly impressed. This is kind of my world. I like
to cozy and have a deep talk and giggle and
you know, get into stuff. The quickness of a carpet interview,
like it stresses me out having to answer the questions.
If I had to ask them and do this in
(43:55):
short form, I actually think I'd have a panic attack.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
I get I only done a you know, award season
for like two years now, and every time we wrap
and it's like and the you know, the Emmys are
live on NBC and I hear that and they're like,
can you collapse?
Speaker 3 (44:10):
I literally hit the deck.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
And half the time I'm wearing a pair of birkin
stocks because I'm taller than every guy in.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
Hollywood, so I have to like amazing, you know, they're
oadstanding on an apple box and I'm like down on
the ground and I'm just like, somebody get me a
glass of white wine. I can't.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
That was the wildest three hours. And yeah, it's it's
an adrenaline rush. It is really wild. Yeah, I kind
of find my flooding there with being more funny and
being myself. But you're also like, okay, I've got to
hit I gotta hit the notes, you know.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Yeah, so it's a time. Oh my god, I'm blessed.
Let's manifest the Emmys. I think you need to do
another drawing.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
Yeah, you know, like event.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
And now now I will say so in my office
and you can't see all them. I have all my
vision boards up.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Is that what those are?
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (44:57):
So back here is like a vision board and I
have them all around on the other sides of my office.
Speaker 3 (45:01):
It is really wild.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
I started vision boarding back in twenty eighteen, and I
did it one day. I was hungover. It was New
Year's Day. I saw somebody do it on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
My husband was watching football.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
I was like, I'm going to take a gummy and
I'm going to make some vision boards because I'm visual
and I like to scrap book and doodle.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
You know.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
A couple of years later everything started to pop off.
So now I've made the early thing where I make
these vision boards and it's not you know. All I
do is I basically have this conversation with myself. What
do I want? What do I want the future to
look like? What am I asking of myself? What am
I asking the universe to connect for me? And it
(45:38):
is wild, like the things that have come true by
making these vision boards.
Speaker 1 (45:42):
Wait, I love that. Can I come over and make
one with you?
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Absolutely, I'm so into this.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
I'm doing a.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Comedy cruise here in two weeks where I'm taking a
bunch of fans on an Origin cruise ship and we're
doing a vision board party. I'm like, what I'm telling you,
if you write it down, will come true. No.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
My friend Skuy says this all the time. We did
a show together a couple of years ago and I
was planning something on Pinterest and the thing I planned
looked exactly like the Pinterest board, but better. And she
was like, do you not understand when you're helping a
friend design a house on Pinterest, or you're doing these
mood boards that you make for characters you're vision boarding.
(46:20):
She was like, look at how powerful you are at manifesting.
You actually have to start applying that to you and
what you want, not just to what you're helping create
out in the world. And I was like, oh my god.
And I'm I'm so inspired by her, and I'm also
like a little scared, so I want to try, No,
(46:41):
do it.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
There's nothing to be scared about.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
I mean you, to me, it's a conversation with your
inner self saying what do I expect from myself in
this life?
Speaker 3 (46:51):
It's not just about putting fancy.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
Cars and big houses, and you know, I went up
not go do this, but man, dammit, I've I've had
things check off the vision board down like throw pillows
on a couch where I'm like, oh shit, I have
those chairs, I have that lamp, Like what is this?
Speaker 1 (47:06):
That is so funny?
Speaker 2 (47:08):
But I really it's all also too, I think because
when I was a little kid, you know, back to
the book that I wrote in the fourth grade or
the story that I was saying, I always saw a
vision of what exactly I wanted things to look like
and what I want.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
And so it's always been that.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
Kind of quiet voice inside of myself that's like, no,
you know what path you want to be on, you
know what you want, you know what you're expecting of
your life. I love that, and I have a visual reminder.
I look up at the wall and I'm like, oh, yeah, no,
you know what. I need to get back to that
because that's something that I put down as a goal
for myself.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
Yes, that's really that feels powerful.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
Is powerful, you know.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
And now a word from our wonderful sponsors. It's interesting
too to think about that drawing you showed me at
the top of the hour. You know, you standing on
a stage in front of an audience. It's it's what
(48:06):
you do. I mean, you're on tour right now. You're
on your bamboozled tour.
Speaker 3 (48:10):
On the bamboozled tour. Yeh.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
By the way, that's probably why I said that word earlier.
It's like, in my subconscious, what is this tour about
for our friends at home? And then I just really
want to know what your favorite part of touring is
this tour is about?
Speaker 3 (48:28):
Oh god, what is it about? It's about everything. Oh,
there's a lot in that.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
I'm like, we got a hair flip.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
She's thinking, it's about how one I'm constantly bamboozling myself.
As women, we have a lot of outside noise that
we end up getting bamboozled about. The dream is a bamboozlement.
The expectations on us are a bamboozlement. And I just
find a really ridiculous way of connecting how we have
also done this to ourselves. And my favorite part of touring, honestly,
(48:57):
stand up is so fun because you know, in this business,
we developed which we are going to develop our show,
but we dive bos. You have to wait for so
many yeses, and you hear so many news stand up
is immediate. I get up on stage no in ten seconds,
whether they like it or they don't.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
And I love that check of let's go.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
And when you get that energy from a live audience,
there is nothing better. Like I always said, I want
to do multi cams because I you know, I'm a
theater kid. I want that live audience. I want that
immediate reaction. It feels so good to.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Yeah, oh, I would love that.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
And be with my friends is great. I've got a
great grew around me and we just have fun. And
like to say that I've seen America, I've toured in Australia.
Like to go to places, touch people's hands and be like,
you know, thank you for being here. There's just the
human connection is incredible.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
It really love that.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
I love that. And then what was the impetus behind
the podcast? Because absolutely not. It is comedy in a way,
but it's also a place I think where you get
to be your whole self, if not just your performer self.
What led you to starting that and why in the
world did you start a podcast while you're also on
(50:08):
a tour. Do you just love to torture yourself.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
I really do listen. My entire team is like, shall
we put too much on our plate? And again I
bamboozled myself. The podcast I started years ago because I
wanted to have this like call to action. Okay, people
could call in and then I would give them like
horrific unsolicited life advice. I listen to some other podcasts
where they're actually like trying to fix people's problems.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
I'm like, no, if you call in, I'm going to
give you a sarcastic response, Oh my god. Love. And
then it's also.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
I mean, my therapist would say, like, again, you're over
sharing too much on your podcast.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
But it is just a it's almost like a brain
dump for me.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
Every week I hear what other people are going through,
I brain dump what I'm going through, and it's just
such a part of my week where I'm giggling to myself.
Speaker 3 (50:51):
I'm my hour straight at just.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
The insanity of humanity of yeah us just trying to
get through each day and so much joy. But am
I doing a lot? Yes, Yes, I am doing a lot.
I am doing a lot right now.
Speaker 3 (51:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:06):
Yeah, I want to come and give bad advice on
your podcast. That feels so fun.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
Love to have you, I please on the podcast we
would love Oh I love that.
Speaker 1 (51:18):
Years ago, I did Anna Faris' podcast and we got
a really sweet question from someone and yeah, we were
trying to like give great advice. But I also think
purposefully giving ridiculous advice feels fun.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
I mean, listen, sometimes there are a lighthearted moment or
like tender moments and I've cried so yeah on this
podcast by myself, where I listen back and I'm like.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
Oh my god, what did I have a breakdown?
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Less?
Speaker 2 (51:44):
But you know, it's all about human connection and the
fact totally believe and trust me with their stories.
Speaker 3 (51:50):
It's funny, though. I do tell the girl is all
the time.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
I'm like, hey, y'all, if you have done something illegal,
do not call into the podcast when you're drunk and
then let us know. Oh because I will delete it.
But quit telling me where the bodies are buried.
Speaker 1 (52:04):
Yeah, yeah, you got to protect yourselves a little bit. Ladies.
Speaker 3 (52:07):
Yeah, okay, well you are.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
So known, I mean not just on the show, everywhere
for your for your hot takes. What's your hottest take
this week?
Speaker 3 (52:19):
What do you got? What's my hottest take?
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Well, listen, My hottest take this week is the world
on fire and we are just trying to keep our
head above water. So every day, my hottest take is
protect your mental well being, because if you consume shit
all day long, it will make you nuts. And we
still have to live each day to the fullest because again,
like you said earlier, life is short, but it's also
(52:42):
very long. So yeah, the best you can with the
people around you and take care of the bele that
you love. We're not going to fix everything tomorrow. But
I've had moments where I will consume so much and
it will make me spiral and it will be crazy,
and I'll watch something backstage and then I'm like, Okay,
now i gotta go back on stage and make everybody
feel positive and giggle. And I have to take moments
(53:04):
where I'm like, I got to tune it out for
a minute, you know.
Speaker 3 (53:07):
Yeah, everybody's got to take your their mental health.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
Yeah, I'm I'm learning to do the same. And i
feel like I've also finally hit a point where I'm like,
I'm guys, admittedly, I'm not an expert at everything. No
one is.
Speaker 3 (53:21):
I am not.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
I am no longer willing to feel pressured into having
a take if I'm like, this is not my job.
It's just not my job. I'm going to do the
best I can, and there will be mental health breaks
and there will be days when I don't do this.
And even for me, something I've tried to do consciously
lately is I do the you know, the signal boosting,
the news sharing that do you know about this? Call
(53:44):
your senators about that, this bill is up? This is
really important. I'm sharing all that stuff more like a broadcaster.
I'm sharing it in my stories every day, so it's timely.
But I'm really trying to keep what I put it
up on a grid happy.
Speaker 3 (54:03):
Yeah, because I.
Speaker 1 (54:05):
Feel like we need it. And for me, beginning to
separate and balance my life, sharing is going to be
my life and the news shit, I'm going to share
like the news it's on and if you miss it,
go find it somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
Yeah, And that's how I feel too as a comic,
like I have to we have to talk about these
uncomfortable conversations and I want you to leave laughing, and
also like it makes you think, you know, it's even
in comedy, it's topical, and you have to keep moving
and things are changing rapidly every day. But there are
moments where I'm just like, all right, we're going to
say it, we're gonna giggle, we're gonna pull it apart,
(54:41):
we're going to figure it out, and then we're going
to put it to bed and we have to walk
away and just be like, we're gonna make it, We're.
Speaker 3 (54:47):
Gonna be okay exactly, We're all gonna go nuts.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
Yeah. Well, and I think balance in general, like that's
something I'm really working on. I'm really working on understanding
that I have an irrational sense of time. I really
think I can get way more done in a day
than as humanly possible. So I'm working on bringing down
(55:13):
my bamboozling of myself that I'm trying to bring down
the volume on the daily to do list so that
I can actually be better at the things I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (55:25):
I love that one of the things on my vision
board was like it says less stressed, RESTful, and what
does it say, Oh, replenished. Because I realized love a replenished,
love a replenish I would burn myself out so bad
and say yes to everything, and then one shitty friend,
I'm a shitty wife, I'm in a bad mood when
(55:46):
I come home, and I was like, what are we
doing here if I don't actually start physically taking care
of myself saying yes, and you know, yeah, some people
may call me a grandma some days because I can't
go out and do all the things I used to do,
But I'm like, I would.
Speaker 3 (55:59):
Well take care of myself.
Speaker 2 (56:00):
So then when we spend my love language's quality time,
I want to be in a good mood and be
there for you and not be just a burnt out
bitch all the time.
Speaker 1 (56:08):
Yes, yeah, I don't want to sit at dinner feeling
like a shell of a human. Yes, is that do
you think that recalibration? Would you say that right now?
That's your work in progress?
Speaker 3 (56:19):
Or is this someone I sent my work in progress?
Speaker 2 (56:22):
And then, you know, I feel we are all obviously
in this rat race of this industry and things are changing.
And you know I said or you mentioned earlier like
oh I was a late bloomer.
Speaker 3 (56:32):
Well I'm still.
Speaker 2 (56:32):
I turned thirty eighth this year, and there's things that I
have to get done before I can have a family
and I can do all these things. So it's finding
these moments where it's like it's all going to happen.
Take a deep breath.
Speaker 3 (56:42):
But again, I can't.
Speaker 2 (56:43):
Be the star or show up to the gig if
I am a shell of a human, I can't do it.
So I really had to take moments and have hard
conversations with myself where it's like, hey, you got to
be selfish for a minute, whether people get upset with
you or not, you need to be selfish and take
care of yourself. Yes, or there will be nothing, like
(57:05):
we will have no career.
Speaker 1 (57:06):
There'll be nothing left. Yeah, yeah, I love that. I think.
I think to your point, women, the world wants to
bamboozle us, and we do it to ourselves. And I
think anytime we can sit down and really just say
this is what I need, it's a big deal.
Speaker 2 (57:25):
One. And the pressure that we put on ourselves, the
pressure that the outside world puts on us, whether you're
a stay at home mom.
Speaker 3 (57:32):
Whether you're a fortune five hundred early, we're supposed to
do it all.
Speaker 2 (57:36):
I mean, I have a whole twenty minute bit about
our cortisol Like it's it's like everyone's cortisols through the
fucking roof.
Speaker 3 (57:42):
And nobody knows your cortisol is and.
Speaker 2 (57:44):
Then on top of that, you go to the doctor
and they can't figure out your hormones. I'm like, how
are we all this stressed, sweaty, exhausted while also having
insomnia and none of us can figure it out.
Speaker 1 (57:54):
That's the bottle of wine conversation we're having next. But
I love it. Where can people get tickets to your
remaining tour dates?
Speaker 2 (58:04):
You can get tickets at Heather ontour dot com. And
I'm serious, we gotta we have to get together a lady,
I know.
Speaker 3 (58:10):
And figure out.
Speaker 1 (58:10):
I gotta do it. I'm gonna text youant me, beat
me tweets, all right, I know where to find.
Speaker 3 (58:17):
I love you, adore you truly same.
Speaker 1 (58:20):
Yeah, you make me so happy and I just really
I cherish that I get to know you.
Speaker 3 (58:25):
My God, that's the kindest thing get for her. It's true.
Speaker 1 (58:28):
And you make me laugh. Bless you.
Speaker 3 (58:31):
You're doing the most. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 1 (58:33):
You're doing the Lord's work, honey. Thank you for today,
Oh my
Speaker 3 (58:37):
God, thank you
Hi everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress, Welcome
back Whipsmarties for an episode I am so excited about.
We are joined by one of my favorite comedians today,
(00:22):
Heather McMahon is on the podcast here to talk about
her latest comedy tour, her incredible podcast, and how she
manages to literally do it all. You can stream her
comedy special Breadwinner now on Hulu, in which she very
humorously and hilariously explores the pressures of being her family's
(00:45):
financial support, the perils of being a golf widow, wedding
planning on an overblown budget, in law dynamics, and more.
And you can get a dose of her every week
on her podcast Absolutely Not, she says absolutely not to
legitimately everything. She's making a safe space for us all
to tell all and bitch about all the rest. There
(01:06):
are no topics off limits on her show. She breaks
down every day struggles of doing the most and the
least at the same damn time. It is so funny.
It definitely brings me joy in a crazy, crazy year.
So let's dive in and hear from Heather. Okay, before
(01:33):
we jump into this insanity that we live in, I
got to rewind with you, because I like to know
who people were as kids. And this is why I
know you. I mean I met you as a I'm
probably a bumbling fan. Like when we met, I was like, oh,
I got aye. But we all know you from your
(01:57):
work and your jokes and your personality and the tours
and the space rushels and the things. If we went
back to before your life was this, and if you
got to hang out with yourself at like eight or
nine years old, would you see this version of you
in her? Or was it totally unpredictable.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
No, I would be able to look myself in the
eyes and be like, well, you did exactly what you
said you were going to do. I was a very
determined kid. I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
I was going to be in theater. I was going
to be in comedy. Actually is so interesting. I found
a book. My mom and I were cleaning out some
closets at her house, literally found a book last week.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
It was called Growing Up.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
And it was a book that like everybody in our
class in fourth grade wrote a little thing of like
what they want to be when they get older. Mine,
I shit you not, I'll pull it up. Mine a picture, Yes,
I have a picture of the whole thing. Mine was
me on stage getting a Grammy because I thought I
was going to be a singer. I did a lot
of musical theater as a kid. Lost the voice a
while ago. Oh, son, and so I'm on stage. It's
(03:02):
a little drawing of me getting my Grammy. Oh, I
don't mind me as I'm scrolling for it. Okay, so
let me just show you this.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
So this is me. I don't e ses at the
Grammys right old and God.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
My whole thing it says when I grow up, I
want to I want to be a star and have
many opportunities to accomplish this dream. I'd love to have
my own record label and my own production company as well.
I go on to basically say, if you can believe
it and dream it, you can do it. And then
I say I'd love to have a show like Rosie O'donnald's.
She's just such a great person with a lot of talent.
(03:35):
And I literally like go on to say, like I,
this is what I want to do. I knew I
was going to be an entertainer from a little kid,
and my mom and I found this and we were
cracking up. I'm like, I was writing this shit down
in the fourth grade. I knew what I wanted to do.
But I think that became a harder thing later and
in life because when I got to college, I was
so envious of my friends who were like undeclared, who
(03:59):
didn't know what they want wanted to do, because that
felt more freeing to me. I was like, oh, you're
still trying to figure out exactly what you want to do.
I know what I want to do, but it still
seems so far away.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
So when by the time you got to college, was
it a feeling of pressure you were putting on yourself
or was it that you were on the precipice of
you know, quote unquote adulthood and still didn't know how
you were going to get your foot in the door.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
A mixture of both. I think when you are because
I since.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I was a little kid, I always said I'm going
to be on stage, I'm going to be doing something
in the arts. So I think to go into college
and know exactly what I wanted to do.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Like I went to the University Mississippi.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
A lot of my girlfriends wanted to stay locally or
you know. They I was like, oh no, once I
get out of here, I'm moving to New York, I'm
doing stand up, I'm doing the thing.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
So for me, it was like, I, while I.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Enjoyed my college experience so much, I was ready to
like get to the next thing, and then I got
out and I was like, now this is where the
fun starts. But it was also terrifying because I knew
how long, you know. I knew it was going to
take a while to get the ball rolling. So I
was always envious of the folks who were like, I
don't know what I want to do. I was like, Wow,
to have that freedom, to be able to figure it out.
I actually felt that that was more freeing than knowing
(05:10):
exactly what I wanted to do, because I was like,
the pressure is on and the clock is ticking, it's
we got to go. And now, looking back, I would
be like, that's insane. I would tell people you can
reinvent yourself a billion times through your life, right of course,
But yeah, no, I knew I was a very driven kid.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I'm obsessed.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Now it turned out I need an.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Actual copy of that photo I want to make, Okay,
so obviously Rosie O'Donnell is one answer to this question.
But who else from the comedy world inspired you when
you were growing up.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I was a.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Huge Lucille Ball fan because I'm very big in a
physical comedy, so watching her that was like, I mean,
she was the idol.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
But for the reason I got understand up was Joan Rivers.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Joan was just saying things back in the day that
women did not have. You know, I don't want to
say the balls to say I didn't have, uh, you know,
the the tits to say, like, she just knew what
she was doing. And when I was starting out and
stand up in New York, I would follow her all
the time and go see your shows. And I got
to meet her outside of a show one night and
I was like, miss Rivers, I just want you to
(06:15):
know I'm such a fan. You're the reason why I
got into comedy. And she was like, I have a
good feeling about you. You're gonna You're gonna make it.
Years later, I moved to La I'm sitting at a
bar one night at Doms, you know, the sister restaurant
to Little Doms, but it was work clothes and I'm
sitting in there at the bars and I hear her
walk in. I was like, I know that voice. So
(06:36):
I go over to her table and I'm like, hey,
miss Rivers, I just want you to know I took
your advice. I moved to LA because she told me
to move to Lay. She's like, you have a very
commercial look. You need to be doing television. You need
to move.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
So I went to LA and I said, I took
your advice. Like, thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Here, I am doing the thing. She's like, I'm telling you,
I have a really good feeling about you. You're gonna
make it. And I swear to god, I got in
my car.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I called my dad.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I was sitting in the valet at this restaurant. I
was like, Joan, gave me your blessing. She died like
nine months later, no, h huh, huh huh wow. And
I got to meet her daughter, Melissa about a year ago,
and I told Melissa, I was like, you don't understand,
like your mom meant everything to me and was such
a guiding light in the stand up world for me.
So I'm just so grateful to her.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
That was so special. Yeah, I mean an icon.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Truly, Who did you follow growing up? Because I mean,
you've been doing this forever though.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
I mean kind of. I you know, I wanted to
be a doctor. I thought I was going to be
a heart surgeon. That was my plan. And then I
had an arts requirement because I went to this great,
I mean amazing school in Pasadena, and I was like,
I don't want to do this. You know, they gave
us these two years of arts requirements. In every semester
(07:54):
you had to do something different, and I thought I
was going to game the system by putting off the
theater requirement until the same semester I was supposed to
play volleyball. And they were like, you did this to yourself,
Like you are at school to learn how to be
a functioning adult, and you chose to delay this. And
if you've done it last semester, you could have done
a play and done a sport, but now you're going
(08:17):
to have to miss your sport to do this. And
I was like, what such a lesson about you know,
personal accountability? Really early and then I did this play
and I was like, wait, I love this. It's not
all by the way, no shade. I love musical theater,
but I'm also just like not a musical theater kid.
I was like, wait, theater isn't the sound of music.
(08:39):
You can, like, you can do these really topical, intense
or comedic things where you don't have to sing on
stage what And it changed my whole life. I was like, well,
but my favorite subject has always been English and this
is basically just a book that's alive. Yeah, and so
(09:00):
it really shifted the whole thing for me. And then
when I told my parents that I wasn't going to
go to medical school, I wanted to go get a
BFA in theater. You can imagine how well that went over.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I'm sure assholes were clenched. It's like at that moment
they're like, Mom, Dad, I'm a thespian and the parents
are like just gravely disappointed.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Well, and my dad, ironically enough, you know, for his
whole career, was a really wonderful photographer, which is also
why I think I ride so hard for the crew,
because I'm like, I'd come from a crew family, even
though my dad's like crew job was deeply cool. And
one of the people he photographed for the longest run
over his forty plus years career was John Rivers. Wow, yeah,
(09:43):
he must have like they were tighter her yeah, like John,
you know, she'd have something to do in New York
and be like, absolutely not. You got to fly Charles
Bush out here from LA. I'm not shooting with anybody here.
She she had a point where she was like, nobody
knows how to light me, bring my guy, and like
it would. They had a very sweet friend.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Wait if he still has any prints, I'm going to
ask them because.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
I already wrote down a note.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
I'm like, oh, I'm redoing a office in my house
right now, and that's what I need.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
And I was stuck Getty Images.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I was like, I need a blown up rent like
an iconic photo of Joan in this Yes, my office.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Wow, what a cool gig.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
So cool, so so cool. And yeah. I remember years
later when I was working on TV, my parents finally
were like, so crazy that you're doing this. When you
first told us you were going to go to theater school,
I was like, I know, you freaked out and my
dad was like, no, you don't understand. Like the level
of meltdown was so intense. He goes, and your mom
(10:42):
looked at me and goes, this is your fault. You
turned your fucking hobby into your career and now shaving.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
She can do it too. My dad used to have
the same argument with my mom.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
He's like, you always want to be Barbarer streis saying,
and it didn't work out. So I pushed it on
Heather and my dad would write letters to my sorority house.
I do all miss like the top ten reasons why
he thinks I should pivot and go into the Air Force.
And it was like number one got number two, you
come from a long line of eighty eight ors number
three like you look great at the uniform. And I realize, like,
I'm not a parent, but I realized now, as you know,
(11:15):
I watch my parents, I'm like, oh, parents just parented
out of fear.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Like they were just constantly trying, like, you know, we
just want to.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Make sure that you don't fuck it up because we
at some point probably fucked our shit up. So I
was always like, Dad, don't worry about me. Don't worry.
I am going to figure it out. And it's been
very bittersweet to have the success that I've had because
my dad hasn't been here to see it. I lost
my answer about ten years ago and everything started to
click after it passed and I had wonderful relationship with
(11:43):
my dad, even though he was always like please get
in Dell Estate, like.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Don't go into the show. So it's been like it's tough.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
I'd have all these iconic moments and like on tour,
like playing Radio City, and I'm like, damn it, I
wish the one person who's here to see it isn't here.
But I have to just know that he's always me.
There's always a probably my dad.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Oh gosh, yeah that I can. I can just feel
that bittersweet thing because it is the it's the best,
and oh how cool it would be for him to
be able to see it.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah. I imagine if my dad was alive, he would
be running security. He'd be selling merch like he would
be doing all about oh yeah, eating it up, taking
photos of ladies outside the theater.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Your dad running the merch table is like all that
feels right to me. And my bones. I want my
bones too, right in like in the next universe over
I believe that it's happening. Yeah, oh my goodness. Well
is that part of why you feel because I've heard
you talk about how you feel like a late bloomer
(12:51):
in your career because things really blew up, you know,
after you turned thirty. Do you think that the the
that sort of time feels particular for you too because
of that loss? Because I think when you go through
something like you know, losing a parent who you're so
close to, or you know, someone who is your person,
(13:13):
it's like there is a before and an after. It's
such a marker of time. And because he hasn't been
here to see some of this stuff, do you think
that influence is that feeling?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Oh yeah, I mean my twenties were the years where
I was in New York and la hustling, grinding, doing
the thing one woman shows, do an improv, doing stand up,
all that, and then you know, I lost my dad
caught like two years before I was thirty. And then
I get into my thirties and then they listen, my
point of view in my perspective just totally changed. My
(13:48):
comedy was richer because I had, you know, comedy and tragedy.
I'd gone through something so horrifically tragic to then just
have a different point of view in perspective and.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Just in life richer way.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
And I say, now like I have felt the worst
feeling you can ever feel, So now when things are good,
they feel even bigger and better. I don't know, it's
an adulum of joy and sadness swings so wildly one
way or the other, and so I feel like I
appreciate shit a lot more. Yes, you know, I always say,
(14:22):
like other people who've been through something traumatic like that,
like losing a loved one far too young.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
We always find each other. We just all have a
different perspective.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
And some days can be a little frustrating being around
other folks who haven't experienced that. And that's not to
their fault, like good for everybody still as their their
core family around, but there are moments where I'm like, oh,
just if you've been through it, you get it. You know,
it's a different communication with other people, I think.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
And now a word from our sponsors who make this
show possible. I have not lost my parents, for which
I'm very grateful, but me and my whole community lost
someone that was so important to us. I mean, it
(15:15):
just it rocked us all so intensely, and I think
the thing the biggest shift that it did for me,
and I wonder if you feel this. I always used
to repeat that cliche, and like cliches are so fucking annoying,
But they're cliches because they're so true, right, Like that's
why everyone says them. Everyone always is like, ah, life's
(15:38):
too short. Life's too short to not try the thing,
Life's too short to not be in lovela la. And
when I went through that sort of grief, what I
realized is life is too short, but life is also
way too fucking long, because when you have to live
(15:58):
without someone, I think you understand how blessed you are
to be alive, but also how long life is going
to be if you're lucky. And it really there was
something about it that, rather than kind of rolling my
eyes anytime somebody was, you know, going through their personal
(16:19):
version of life is too short, like, it almost gave
me a freedom back because there have been times since
then that I have looked around and gone, life may
be too short, but it's I'm still on this earth,
and it is way too fucking long to be this unhappy,
because if I died tomorrow, I wouldn't want to be
(16:39):
stuck in this shitty job with this person who hits women,
or stuck in this shitty relationship you know where I'm
walking on eggshells in my own house like it don't.
I can't explain it. It gave me this tenacity to
like try my hardest and get to the end of
the road. But if that road was a dead end,
(17:00):
I'm turning around because I'm reclaiming my time.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I fully hear this, and I think, especially as women we.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
In our age group too, we.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Have to get so focused on doing the one thing
and checking all these things off a list. And I
have so many girlfriends who are in their early forties
late thirties right now, who are pivoting in a wild direction,
and I'm like, do it. Who gives a shit? Okay,
you got the degree in XYZ. You're miserable.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Life is to go.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And so I'm like, you know, I talk about being
a late bloomer in my career, but I'm like, fine,
if tomorrow I had to do real estate, I would
do real estate and I would like figure it out,
you know, or whatever it is. It's life is too
short and too long to be miserable. Yes, one thing
with grief too. And you'll notice this.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
People say, oh, you know, it gets easier to time.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I actually think you get so much harder with time,
because now I sit back in my grief, and I'm like, oh,
now I haven't heard my dad's.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Voice in ten years.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I think the further you get away from it, yeah,
you're a little bit more numb to it. But then
you're like, oh god, that just grips me in a
different way. It's like a it sits heavier on my
chest because I realize how far away I'm from those
those memories and experiences with my dad.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I had a woman one day.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
She meant well, but she dm me and I put
something up for my dad's birthday and she was like,
I wish you would put, like, you know, more photos
up of your dad. And I just responded to her.
I said, hey, girl, I don't have any more photos
of my dad, Like these are all the memories I have.
Those memories are done, like I only have so many
photos and then I've shown you them all and then
(18:31):
they're done. And she was like, oh shit, I didn't
even think about that. I'm like, yes, like like those memories,
we're not making new memories, sweetheart. What do you want
that's on spring break that.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Hasn't happened in nine years?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
You know?
Speaker 3 (18:45):
Yeah, so also too.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Dealing with that. Have to just know that people will
say the most ignorant shit. A lot of folks reach
out to me, they're like, hey, I just lost a
loved one. You know what do I how do I
navigate it? And I say, give yourself grace, give other
people grace, because they're going to say stupid shit to
you because they're just ignorant. They haven't been through it.
But if anybody says at any point at the funeral,
(19:08):
years down the road or whatever, they're in a better
place for everything happens for a reason, no, tell them
to go themselves and like, and this is done. And
then you never speak to that person again.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Yeah, like you have to. I can't. I can't deal
with this shit.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
No, we just no, thank you. Some things are just
a tragedy and that's okay.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yeah, and that's okay, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Well, and you said something about how you know you
feel like grief has sort of expanded your capacity for
joy and it I will never forget in my in
my twenties, it was a book I read in college
that's like, I mean ancient. I think for fourteen hundred
(19:50):
and fifteen hundreds era is considered ancient, right, poet, Yeah,
for sure, Khalil Gibron, who wrote like this amazing kind
of meditation on life, and I'm going to paraphrase because
you know, I don't have fourteenth century poetry memorized, but
he essentially says in this one chapter of the book
that your capacity for joy is as large as you
(20:15):
are carved out by sorrow, and like you said, the pendulum,
and it's like it is. It's so emotional, but it's
also kind of science, right, every action has an equal
in opposing reaction, and there's something kind of profound to
me about that where you're like, oh, it's like the
(20:36):
most raw thing I feel in my heart and like
what is a heart? What is a soul? And then
on this other side there's this science to it and
they meet somehow, and yes, I'm perhaps I'm more capable
of holding more things because of this, and I don't know,
(20:56):
it's like that to me, is is the silver lining.
That's what I think people are trying to get at
when they say dumb shit, like everything happens for a reason,
and you're like, that's not the thing to say. The
other the thing to say maybe is just I'm so
sorry for this tragedy. And also I'm so glad you
(21:17):
got to laugh with that person for as many years
as you did.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
That's a great way to put it. I also feel that,
you know, I'm lucky. I had twenty seven amazing years
with an amazing daddy. My girlfriends still have, you know,
troubled or strained relationships with their fathers. Yeah, And I
don't try and push it on them, like you have
to fix that because they're you know, everybody's going through
their own shit.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
But I do.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
I have to be glass that full and say I
had twenty seven great years with the greatest man ever.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
So like I feel richly blessed in that sense. And
I am a.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Wildly naturally joyful person. And even when I went through this,
I'm like, what can I do. I can either let
this cripple me and destroy me, and I can be
mad at the world and I never get through this.
Or I can pivot and turn this anger and sadness
and somehow bring it back to joy and then live
my life. That's what my dad would want, That's what
(22:10):
I think everybody's loved ones would want. Yeah, I can't.
He would be like, get your ass up, go do something,
Go make someone laugh.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Like, well, that was for yourself.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Exactly right, and him him loving your comedy, I'm sure
was also such a reminder like he he would be
upset if you had given that up in your sadness.
And I think it's so special and like even the
way you talk about him, I wonder if you know
this great relationship you got to have with your dad, Like,
do you feel like that influenced the way you fell
(22:40):
for your husband? Do you feel like you guys have
such a solid relationship because you had a solid relationship
modeled for you. Oh.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Yes, And my dad was such a he loved he loved,
loved being a girl dad.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
And you can still have a sense of confidence.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
I think in my sister and I I mean, I
joked I was an overly confident kid because my dad
was like, you can do anything.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
You're a McMahon, you can do anything. You would always
say that. And when I met my husband, it was
one like they kind of look alike. So I'm sure
there's some thing there.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
But yes, my my husband reminds me so much of
my dad in a great way. And when my husband
and my dad met, which I feel very grateful that
they had a beautiful relationship before my dad passed. But
I just remember being like they were like two peas
in a pod. And my husband and I were living
in New York at the time, and he would come
down and my dad would like steal him. He's like, well,
Jeff and I are going to go do guy stuff
all day, like they were best buts and so me
(23:33):
them have a mutual respect for each other. Was also
just like I knew I found the right one. And
when my dad got sick, he died very quickly. From
the day of diagnosis to the day of dad that
was one week, so he was very and unfortunately he
passed the pancreatic cancer. But we flew him to M
d Anderson in Houston to get like, you know, the
best care, and I feel very grateful to.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Them that they did everything they could.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I flew down and immediately asked my dad for his
hand and ever my hand in marriage.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
It was very sweet.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
So like, you know, I feel blessed that they had
that moment together.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
You know, that's so special.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
He is my father down to Like.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
If they both didn't have a Lumberjack breakfast like full
bacon egg, then like the day could not start, you know,
oh my god, the drama.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
But my husband's great too because he allows me to
holy be myself. He is like, go, go be as
ridiculous on stage as you want, just be you. He's
never once told me to like tone it down, you know,
to volume a little lower. He's like, keep going, And
that's why I know I married the right person.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
That's amazing. And you know what, it really does take
a person who has a healthy relationship to their own
ego to not say, hey, maybe don't share this. Yeah,
maybe don't tell the world about this part of our relationship,
or or make this a joke that amps up this
fight we had or whatever. It's like, he has to
(24:57):
be very emotionally healthy to be like, oh, yeah, go
make fun of me and everyone. You know.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
As I've gotten older too, I could give a shit
where you got a college degree. What you do for
a living. Emotional in diligence to me is the biggest
turn on everything. It makes me horny. I'm like, you
can sit down, have an adult conversation. We can like
you know, it doesn't even have to be dramatic, but
we can talk about our feelings and like we can
agree to disagree, but be adults about this.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I'm let's do it. I mean, and you know, there
are aspects in comedy.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
There there are things where I'll be like, hey, are
you cool if I talk about this or whatever, and
we have a conversation about it. But he is just
so secure in himself. He's like, Yeah, somebody's gonna relate
to it. It's gonna make someone laugh, it'll make someone think,
surely someone's going through the same situation. So very open
and supportive of me going out there, and you know,
sometimes ripping him a new asshole for.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
The sake of the most buddies of you.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
When I was on a press tour for my last
special that came out, and the specials called Breadwinner, and there.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Was a whole like I was just gonna ask you about.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
This, Yes, the whole arc about it about how I
make more money than him a man. Every single interview
they were like, how does Jeff feel about this? How
does your husband feel about you talking about this? And
I'm like, every male comedian since the dawn of time
has been doing this and you don't ask how their
wives feel about this shit, how they're about them making
fun of them on stage. Why is it all of
(26:22):
a sudden, like you know, you're peppering me about it.
So I finally was just like, Jeff, Fine, he's playing
golf right now.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
You know he didn't give a shit.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yeah, You're like, they're like, Jeff, Jeff is this generation's
kept woman and he likes it. Yeah, because he still
gets to benefit from being a man.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Something I think is so cool about you guys is
that you met before your career totally blew up. You know,
the specials and the tours and the things. What is
that like for you? You know? I guess I ask this,
I'll be really vulnerable and say why, because I've once
or twice or a handful of times in my life
been like, oh, this person who has said the right
(27:10):
things is drawn to the wrong things. Ah. I've sort
of had the bamboozol moment, and you know, we live,
we learned. It's what therapy's for. But I find it
really at this stage in my life being able to
look back in that you know, twenty twenty hindsight vision, YadA, YadA.
(27:33):
I'm like, damn, I had no idea what I was
in for when the show I started at twenty one,
blew up, you know, and we were removed, which you know,
gave us our own set of like high school round
two ridiculousness. But I've never, like I've never in my
(27:55):
whole adult life. I've not since high school or I
guess college gone on quote unquote anonymous date. Yeah, and
so like, I don't know. I love y'all's relationship, and
I can feel how good it is, and I wonder
(28:15):
what's it like for you to have had him before this,
what's it like for him to navigate the changes? And
how do you do that together? How do you sit
down and say, all right, we're going to talk it
out and we're going to be great because we love
each other, and sometimes we'll disagree, Like how does this
whole thing work when you've been on this roller coaster
ride together.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
I feel very grateful that I did meet Jeff when
I did, which was you know, we were twenty three
years old or in the early days living in New York,
because he was always my champion and even when you know,
it's interesting we started dating I'm living in New York
for like a year and a half, and then I
told him I sat him down one day and I said, hey,
(28:55):
I got to move to la because Joe Rivers told
me to move del like trying Italian restaurant on the
Upper East Side. He's like, I knew this is gonna happen,
but at no point, like we never broke up. He
was like, go full forward, go ahead, my child, Like
he said, I don't ever want to get in the
way of your dreams and for you to resent me
down the line. So even though we were long distance
(29:15):
for a long time, we just kept supporting each other.
I kept supporting him business, and again we did not
know what when lightning was going to strike, but I
never once questioned his support on what I wanted to do.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
And I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
There were moments a couple of his friends sat him
down and we're like, hey, how long are you gonna
support Heather kind of chasing this comedy dream like it's
it hasn't worked out yet, Like really, like are you
when are you gonna have the honest conversation with her
that maybe she needs to pivot? And sure enough, like
nine months later, everything took off. And he told me
that two years later and he's like, I never told
(29:52):
you this, but I want you to know. I told
him to all like fuck off. He's like, no, that's
my girl. She's gonna be fine.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
I feel grateful that Jeff. Really we were always each other.
There's champion.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
And I used to make a joke when I would
be doing comedy shows in a basement somewhere in like Queen's.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
You know, there's like four people in the audience.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
My husband would be there in a suit from his
like corporate gig, and he'd be on the front row,
and everybody thought he was my manager. And then they
were like, wow, your manager is so dialed in.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
On your career. I'm like, no, I blow that guy.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Don't it is?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
You know, it's been interesting now because when through comedies, especially,
I share so much of my relationship and listen.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
A lot of jokes.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
But there are moments where people will say certain things
to him or I know, he didn't sign up for
his life to be in a microscope, but there's so
much bullshit out there that there are days where he's like, oh,
don't go on Reddit. This is the dumbishit I've ever heard,
or don't oh, don't read that DM, and you're like, guys,
this is comedy.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Everybody piped down.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
You know, there are moments where we're just have to
both have to drown out the noise.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
But yeah, he's my buddy. Bit we're right or die together.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
God forbidding where to get hit by a bus tomorrow,
I'm done, Like, I'm good, Yeah, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I'll get it totally. Well more French bulldogs. Live on
a commune with my girlfriends and all their kids, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Going, yeah, yeah, yeah, You're like, no, I've got the one.
Thank you. I love that. I think that's so special.
And now a word from our sponsors. Girl, I get it,
and I'm thank you even for saying it, because sometimes
(31:34):
when you're in this crazy, zany world, I think you
can forget that other people are dealing with the craziest,
zaniest parts of it. And yeah, there are just days
that I'm like, oh, I can't go on the internet today,
like this is kooky. A friend sent me something recently
and was like, this is so fucking dumb, you know,
(31:55):
and it's like from some gossip site blah blah, And
I was like, first of all, why are you looking?
And second of all, I'm going to say this with
all the love I can muster, why the fuck would
you send this to me? Because I'm like, I don't
want to see it. I can go about my day
and not see this dumb shit. And the funniest part
was to me that like, there was all this speculation
(32:16):
honestly just about a dumb inside joke a friend made
to me, because sometimes if you don't laugh about something,
you know at the time you'll cry. And I so
badly wanted to clap back at this person and be like,
tell me you don't have a sense of humor without
saying I don't have a single cell in my body
capable of humor. And then I was like, what's the
(32:37):
fucking point. I'm not even going to bother engaging. But
it's like, it is so weird when you're just outliving
your life and people make a story out of everything
that's actually it's it's their story, it's not yours, it
has nothing to do with you.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Reddit it's wild and you're like, wait, what I mean,
it's like cuckoo their hands. I'm like, guys, I'm exhausted.
I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
I don't know how y'all came up with these theories that, yeah,
wearing a blue sweater for three days in a row
and therefore like durable disease.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
I'm like, what is happening?
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yeah, I was getting bullied for a minute. Somebody was like,
your eyelash extensions are horrible. And then finally one day
I was like, oh god, they are they are.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
You're like, you know what, you know, you could have
said it a little differently, but you did me as solid.
Redditors noted thank you.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
But for the most part, because I do comedy, people
are like, you're my buddy. And that's what's fun is
being able to talk about things that I know gals
are having private conversations with with their girlfriends, and then
being able to explain it on stage and to have
that moment where people in the audience like, oh, fuck,
that's what that's what we've been feeling. That's exactly it's
(33:55):
the community feels really good, and that's when you know
you're in the pocket. I'm like, you have thought exactly
what I'm feeling and saying right now, And I like
people to leave my show being like, oh shit, never
never thought of it like that, or or that was
right on the money.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
That feels very good.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Okay, So how do you think about that? Because I
think from the outside, you know, I watch a special
or I come to a show and it's all I mean,
it's tight, you've got a tight sixty or a tight ninety.
But building to that and knowing when you leave a
show having a hunch based on audience reaction, what they're
(34:32):
going to walk out thinking about, how do you do?
To me? It feels like a great big math problem essentially,
like doing a special, how do you do the math
and figure out I want to talk about this. I
want to hit this topic, but I want to do
it in a way that'll make them think, maybe not
make them mad, Like what's the recipe for you this far?
Speaker 2 (34:55):
In?
Speaker 3 (34:56):
It's trial and error too.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
I mean, when you're working a tour, I go out and,
like some people like to work, run five minutes, and
run ten minutes and fifteen, and then they build to
the hour.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
I'm a sociopath.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
I like to go out on the road with what
I'm gonna guess is probably ninety minutes, and then I
scale back from there and I'll start a tour and
you know, be running all this shitting clubs. But I
like to run the full hour and then I'll go
and separate those little bits and then run it like that,
which is not it's insane, but I think because I'm
an old theater kid, I only know how to work
(35:28):
in like full you do the.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Play, I do the play, I go, I.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Got It feels scary, but I know.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Then I scale back.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
But you know, running stuff in clubs is the best
because I'm just out there and I'm all right, that
did not work, and you just say it out loud.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Nope, yep, that worked. Then I scale back from there.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
But like for my first special, it was called Son
I Never Had, so I knew that the whole idea
was going to be about my relationship with my dad
as a kid, explaining who I was. This was the
first special for people to like understand who I was
out the gate if you were going on Netflix and
your like, who is this person? And I wanted to
explain my relationship with my dad, the humor behind how
(36:07):
we passed, and that was kind of like my first.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Little tea up for folks.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
And then the special bread Winner was all about this like, okay,
now I've made it this over the top Italian wedding
that I had this thirty day honeymoon. How they got
into my head, all these things that happened, and I
wanted it women to walk away and feel like, oh shit,
we're feeling this too. And the next hour that I'm
working on, I'm talking a lot more about politics, which
(36:31):
I had never touched on before, and I'm just talking
about that, like, you know, that feeling as a Southern woman.
We're all sitting in this weird world and trying to
justify things in our brain and have hard conversations with
our girlfriends and while also going out there and you know,
like trying to make sure our extensions aren't falling out
(36:52):
and our tits are.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
To our that's where we're you know, you know what,
we can do it all.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
We can do it all.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
We can do it all, honey. That particularly, I think
when you have something to say about politics, it's like
people suddenly think you're no fun. Yeah, they think it's
your whole personality. And I'm like, ye'ah, I'm wild, I'm
so fun. But I will absolutely, you know, take Mitch
McConnell to task over his trash policy. And I really
(37:21):
do believe. I think, especially when you are an entertainer,
a performer. It's because you love people. You love people
and their stories. You love being able to represent people.
You love being able to gather people. You love being
able to help people feel seen. And so when people
(37:41):
are like, why are all you actors so fucking political,
I'm like, because we have to be, because our whole
job is to love people and tell their stories. How
can I look at what's happening to people in the
world and be silent?
Speaker 2 (37:57):
And also, like, my job as a comedian is to
take the things that are going on in the world,
observe them, and either help us work.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
Through it, giggle about it, or go what the look?
That is my entire job.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Yes, yes, and you know I've been doing this new
bid about how like a lot of Maga moms couldn't
believe that I didn't vote for Trump because on paper
I look like the typical maga mom blonde.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Hair extensions, you know, from the South.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Went to the University of Mississippi, and they had felt betrayed,
And I was like, whoa, what has happened here that
I was not clearly speaking up up enough for y'all
to think that I was voted for Trump. But the
reception is great, because I mean, you got again as
a pendulum swing, so you got to make fun of
both sides.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Yeah, I say that.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
There are moments where I'm like, God, because I live
in Georgia, am I gonna have to cage fight Marjorie
Taylor Green?
Speaker 3 (38:45):
I may have to at some point, for.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
You might have to. We might have to. She you know,
she was being insane the other day and I posted
something about it, and somebody goes, well, if you have
this kind of heat for her, where's your heat for
Jasmine Crockett? And I that, honey, Jasmine's just matching their volume.
And she went yeah, and I was like, we're I'm
(39:08):
I in the year twenty twenty five. Am done going high?
I did it for a long time. I grew up
in the young Michelle Obama school of politics. That was
my jam. And you know what now, I'm like, bitch,
you want to go low, meet me in the gutter.
I've come from a long line of Italians in New Jersey.
Meet me in the gutter. Let's go.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
I feel the exact same way. And that's, you know,
my job in comedy. I'm like, I'm talking about the
things that again, all these girls are talking about other
their country clubs. So they're talking about, you know, at
the PTA meeting whatever. I know, I'm going to make
you sit and have a and think about it in
a different way because we have to like, why are
we not as women having these conversations.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
No, we have to, Oh, this is why we really
need to do our show.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
We need to do our show.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
We have to do a show.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
We've got to. Let's do it. We'll get okay for.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
The friends at home. Sometime times I forget that people
listen to this and I'm like, oh good, we're just
having like a glass of wine on zoom and we
don't have wine currently listeners, but I wish we did.
It's a little too early, but you know, next time
I am talking about how it was. I think two
years ago at the big Elton John Aids Foundation fundraiser
(40:19):
that coincides with the Oscars, we'd had a couple of
tequilas and decided we were going to do a TV
show together, and we got to figure out what.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
It is we with it.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
We have no idea what the show is, but we
were like, oh, we want to go to work together
every day.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
This would be fun and my favorite thing is figuring
out that creative And I think because I write stand up,
I love the pitch like your old school actress where
you go in and probably crush an audition.
Speaker 3 (40:46):
I am so bad at audition.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
I can let me do the sales of it, let
me go in and razzle dazzle the network, and then
just show up on set.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
But don't make me audition.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Auditions are also so weird because your whole job as
an actor is to make a space and a relationship
feel like yours, and then you do an audition like
this in front of a fucking sheet with no human
and someone who the whole time they're reading with you
god bless the casting director, but like they're reading on
(41:19):
the paper, and you're like, but the whole way I
do my job is to connect with someone and we
have a beat and we have a little high moment
and then we both giggle, and none of that can
happen in an audition.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
No, And I have this theory that I swear by
that all of my self tapes that I and I'm
always reading with like my husband or my mom and
my basement, I'm like, these never got to the casting director.
They never got to the producers. They are sitting in
a vault somewhere and at my funeral, it will be
like like a.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Cruel, practical joke. These auditions.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
That's your episode of punk. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
Like that sweet sweet girl she thought she was auditioning.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
That sweet girl from Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
That's sweet Southern Bale.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
She thought she was auditioning, but really we were just
pulling one big prank on her.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
And I'm like, God, why am I not?
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Oh my god, jobs, You're like, what the fuck is
going on here?
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
I love that. Okay, I have this question for you
because we don't know what our show is going to be,
but I do think about things I want to watch
you do, which is you know, fun for me as
a fan and a friend.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
I love this.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
What award show would you want to host if you could?
Because I think you need to host an award show?
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Well, I am a TV nerd, so I would love
to do the Emmys. Ooh okay, yeah, I mean Nikki
did an incredible job at the Globe.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
She was so good.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
Conan was phenomenal at the Oscars. He's coming back. But
I think the Emmys would be really really fun.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Oh and Chelsea crushes what did she do the sad
Yes critics Choice critics Choice, Yes. I think doing the
Emmys would be insane. Really Okay, I've been, you know,
doing some of the red carpet stuff allah Joan Rivers,
but I'm really only getting my footing there because it's
it's that is actually out of performing ninety minutes of memory,
I stand up being you know, doing sales pitches whatever.
(43:03):
The podcasting. Doing the Red Carpet is the hardest gig
I have ever had.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
It is so scary to me thinking about that.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
You have a producer in your ear, you're doing quick
changes live on air, you have cards, their publicists are
saying don't ask them about this, or ask them about this,
or make sure you hit this note. And you have
thirty seconds to talk to Arianna Grande, who's just like
floating through the air because she's such an angel, and
you're like, what is happening? Yeah, a gnarly gig. People
don't realize how hard doing live hosting is.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
I yeah, I don't know how you do it. I'm
endlessly impressed. This is kind of my world. I like
to cozy and have a deep talk and giggle and
you know, get into stuff. The quickness of a carpet interview,
like it stresses me out having to answer the questions.
If I had to ask them and do this in
(43:55):
short form, I actually think I'd have a panic attack.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
I get I only done a you know, award season
for like two years now, and every time we wrap
and it's like and the you know, the Emmys are
live on NBC and I hear that and they're like,
can you collapse?
Speaker 3 (44:10):
I literally hit the deck.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
And half the time I'm wearing a pair of birkin
stocks because I'm taller than every guy in.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
Hollywood, so I have to like amazing, you know, they're
oadstanding on an apple box and I'm like down on
the ground and I'm just like, somebody get me a
glass of white wine. I can't.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
That was the wildest three hours. And yeah, it's it's
an adrenaline rush. It is really wild. Yeah, I kind
of find my flooding there with being more funny and
being myself. But you're also like, okay, I've got to
hit I gotta hit the notes, you know.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Yeah, so it's a time. Oh my god, I'm blessed.
Let's manifest the Emmys. I think you need to do
another drawing.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
Yeah, you know, like event.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
And now now I will say so in my office
and you can't see all them. I have all my
vision boards up.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Is that what those are?
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (44:57):
So back here is like a vision board and I
have them all around on the other sides of my office.
Speaker 3 (45:01):
It is really wild.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
I started vision boarding back in twenty eighteen, and I
did it one day. I was hungover. It was New
Year's Day. I saw somebody do it on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
My husband was watching football.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
I was like, I'm going to take a gummy and
I'm going to make some vision boards because I'm visual
and I like to scrap book and doodle.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
You know.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
A couple of years later everything started to pop off.
So now I've made the early thing where I make
these vision boards and it's not you know. All I
do is I basically have this conversation with myself. What
do I want? What do I want the future to
look like? What am I asking of myself? What am
I asking the universe to connect for me? And it
(45:38):
is wild, like the things that have come true by
making these vision boards.
Speaker 1 (45:42):
Wait, I love that. Can I come over and make
one with you?
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Absolutely, I'm so into this.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
I'm doing a.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Comedy cruise here in two weeks where I'm taking a
bunch of fans on an Origin cruise ship and we're
doing a vision board party. I'm like, what I'm telling you,
if you write it down, will come true. No.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
My friend Skuy says this all the time. We did
a show together a couple of years ago and I
was planning something on Pinterest and the thing I planned
looked exactly like the Pinterest board, but better. And she
was like, do you not understand when you're helping a
friend design a house on Pinterest, or you're doing these
mood boards that you make for characters you're vision boarding.
(46:20):
She was like, look at how powerful you are at manifesting.
You actually have to start applying that to you and
what you want, not just to what you're helping create
out in the world. And I was like, oh my god.
And I'm I'm so inspired by her, and I'm also
like a little scared, so I want to try, No,
(46:41):
do it.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
There's nothing to be scared about.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
I mean you, to me, it's a conversation with your
inner self saying what do I expect from myself in
this life?
Speaker 3 (46:51):
It's not just about putting fancy.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
Cars and big houses, and you know, I went up
not go do this, but man, dammit, I've I've had
things check off the vision board down like throw pillows
on a couch where I'm like, oh shit, I have
those chairs, I have that lamp, Like what is this?
Speaker 1 (47:06):
That is so funny?
Speaker 2 (47:08):
But I really it's all also too, I think because
when I was a little kid, you know, back to
the book that I wrote in the fourth grade or
the story that I was saying, I always saw a
vision of what exactly I wanted things to look like
and what I want.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
And so it's always been that.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
Kind of quiet voice inside of myself that's like, no,
you know what path you want to be on, you
know what you want, you know what you're expecting of
your life. I love that, and I have a visual reminder.
I look up at the wall and I'm like, oh, yeah, no,
you know what. I need to get back to that
because that's something that I put down as a goal
for myself.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
Yes, that's really that feels powerful.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
Is powerful, you know.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
And now a word from our wonderful sponsors. It's interesting
too to think about that drawing you showed me at
the top of the hour. You know, you standing on
a stage in front of an audience. It's it's what
(48:06):
you do. I mean, you're on tour right now. You're
on your bamboozled tour.
Speaker 3 (48:10):
On the bamboozled tour. Yeh.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
By the way, that's probably why I said that word earlier.
It's like, in my subconscious, what is this tour about
for our friends at home? And then I just really
want to know what your favorite part of touring is
this tour is about?
Speaker 3 (48:28):
Oh god, what is it about? It's about everything. Oh,
there's a lot in that.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
I'm like, we got a hair flip.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
She's thinking, it's about how one I'm constantly bamboozling myself.
As women, we have a lot of outside noise that
we end up getting bamboozled about. The dream is a bamboozlement.
The expectations on us are a bamboozlement. And I just
find a really ridiculous way of connecting how we have
also done this to ourselves. And my favorite part of touring, honestly,
(48:57):
stand up is so fun because you know, in this business,
we developed which we are going to develop our show,
but we dive bos. You have to wait for so
many yeses, and you hear so many news stand up
is immediate. I get up on stage no in ten seconds,
whether they like it or they don't.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
And I love that check of let's go.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
And when you get that energy from a live audience,
there is nothing better. Like I always said, I want
to do multi cams because I you know, I'm a
theater kid. I want that live audience. I want that
immediate reaction. It feels so good to.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Yeah, oh, I would love that.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
And be with my friends is great. I've got a
great grew around me and we just have fun. And
like to say that I've seen America, I've toured in Australia.
Like to go to places, touch people's hands and be like,
you know, thank you for being here. There's just the
human connection is incredible.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
It really love that.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
I love that. And then what was the impetus behind
the podcast? Because absolutely not. It is comedy in a way,
but it's also a place I think where you get
to be your whole self, if not just your performer self.
What led you to starting that and why in the
world did you start a podcast while you're also on
(50:08):
a tour. Do you just love to torture yourself.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
I really do listen. My entire team is like, shall
we put too much on our plate? And again I
bamboozled myself. The podcast I started years ago because I
wanted to have this like call to action. Okay, people
could call in and then I would give them like
horrific unsolicited life advice. I listen to some other podcasts
where they're actually like trying to fix people's problems.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
I'm like, no, if you call in, I'm going to
give you a sarcastic response, Oh my god. Love. And
then it's also.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
I mean, my therapist would say, like, again, you're over
sharing too much on your podcast.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
But it is just a it's almost like a brain
dump for me.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
Every week I hear what other people are going through,
I brain dump what I'm going through, and it's just
such a part of my week where I'm giggling to myself.
Speaker 3 (50:51):
I'm my hour straight at just.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
The insanity of humanity of yeah us just trying to
get through each day and so much joy. But am
I doing a lot? Yes, Yes, I am doing a lot.
I am doing a lot right now.
Speaker 3 (51:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:06):
Yeah, I want to come and give bad advice on
your podcast. That feels so fun.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
Love to have you, I please on the podcast we
would love Oh I love that.
Speaker 1 (51:18):
Years ago, I did Anna Faris' podcast and we got
a really sweet question from someone and yeah, we were
trying to like give great advice. But I also think
purposefully giving ridiculous advice feels fun.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
I mean, listen, sometimes there are a lighthearted moment or
like tender moments and I've cried so yeah on this
podcast by myself, where I listen back and I'm like.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
Oh my god, what did I have a breakdown?
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Less?
Speaker 2 (51:44):
But you know, it's all about human connection and the
fact totally believe and trust me with their stories.
Speaker 3 (51:50):
It's funny, though. I do tell the girl is all
the time.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
I'm like, hey, y'all, if you have done something illegal,
do not call into the podcast when you're drunk and
then let us know. Oh because I will delete it.
But quit telling me where the bodies are buried.
Speaker 1 (52:04):
Yeah, yeah, you got to protect yourselves a little bit. Ladies.
Speaker 3 (52:07):
Yeah, okay, well you are.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
So known, I mean not just on the show, everywhere
for your for your hot takes. What's your hottest take
this week?
Speaker 3 (52:19):
What do you got? What's my hottest take?
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Well, listen, My hottest take this week is the world
on fire and we are just trying to keep our
head above water. So every day, my hottest take is
protect your mental well being, because if you consume shit
all day long, it will make you nuts. And we
still have to live each day to the fullest because again,
like you said earlier, life is short, but it's also
(52:42):
very long. So yeah, the best you can with the
people around you and take care of the bele that
you love. We're not going to fix everything tomorrow. But
I've had moments where I will consume so much and
it will make me spiral and it will be crazy,
and I'll watch something backstage and then I'm like, Okay,
now i gotta go back on stage and make everybody
feel positive and giggle. And I have to take moments
(53:04):
where I'm like, I got to tune it out for
a minute, you know.
Speaker 3 (53:07):
Yeah, everybody's got to take your their mental health.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
Yeah, I'm I'm learning to do the same. And i
feel like I've also finally hit a point where I'm like,
I'm guys, admittedly, I'm not an expert at everything. No
one is.
Speaker 3 (53:21):
I am not.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
I am no longer willing to feel pressured into having
a take if I'm like, this is not my job.
It's just not my job. I'm going to do the
best I can, and there will be mental health breaks
and there will be days when I don't do this.
And even for me, something I've tried to do consciously
lately is I do the you know, the signal boosting,
the news sharing that do you know about this? Call
(53:44):
your senators about that, this bill is up? This is
really important. I'm sharing all that stuff more like a broadcaster.
I'm sharing it in my stories every day, so it's timely.
But I'm really trying to keep what I put it
up on a grid happy.
Speaker 3 (54:03):
Yeah, because I.
Speaker 1 (54:05):
Feel like we need it. And for me, beginning to
separate and balance my life, sharing is going to be
my life and the news shit, I'm going to share
like the news it's on and if you miss it,
go find it somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
Yeah, And that's how I feel too as a comic,
like I have to we have to talk about these
uncomfortable conversations and I want you to leave laughing, and
also like it makes you think, you know, it's even
in comedy, it's topical, and you have to keep moving
and things are changing rapidly every day. But there are
moments where I'm just like, all right, we're going to
say it, we're gonna giggle, we're gonna pull it apart,
(54:41):
we're going to figure it out, and then we're going
to put it to bed and we have to walk
away and just be like, we're gonna make it, We're.
Speaker 3 (54:47):
Gonna be okay exactly, We're all gonna go nuts.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
Yeah. Well, and I think balance in general, like that's
something I'm really working on. I'm really working on understanding
that I have an irrational sense of time. I really
think I can get way more done in a day
than as humanly possible. So I'm working on bringing down
(55:13):
my bamboozling of myself that I'm trying to bring down
the volume on the daily to do list so that
I can actually be better at the things I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (55:25):
I love that one of the things on my vision
board was like it says less stressed, RESTful, and what
does it say, Oh, replenished. Because I realized love a replenished,
love a replenish I would burn myself out so bad
and say yes to everything, and then one shitty friend,
I'm a shitty wife, I'm in a bad mood when
(55:46):
I come home, and I was like, what are we
doing here if I don't actually start physically taking care
of myself saying yes, and you know, yeah, some people
may call me a grandma some days because I can't
go out and do all the things I used to do,
But I'm like, I would.
Speaker 3 (55:59):
Well take care of myself.
Speaker 2 (56:00):
So then when we spend my love language's quality time,
I want to be in a good mood and be
there for you and not be just a burnt out
bitch all the time.
Speaker 1 (56:08):
Yes, yeah, I don't want to sit at dinner feeling
like a shell of a human. Yes, is that do
you think that recalibration? Would you say that right now?
That's your work in progress?
Speaker 3 (56:19):
Or is this someone I sent my work in progress?
Speaker 2 (56:22):
And then, you know, I feel we are all obviously
in this rat race of this industry and things are changing.
And you know I said or you mentioned earlier like
oh I was a late bloomer.
Speaker 3 (56:32):
Well I'm still.
Speaker 2 (56:32):
I turned thirty eighth this year, and there's things that I
have to get done before I can have a family
and I can do all these things. So it's finding
these moments where it's like it's all going to happen.
Take a deep breath.
Speaker 3 (56:42):
But again, I can't.
Speaker 2 (56:43):
Be the star or show up to the gig if
I am a shell of a human, I can't do it.
So I really had to take moments and have hard
conversations with myself where it's like, hey, you got to
be selfish for a minute, whether people get upset with
you or not, you need to be selfish and take
care of yourself. Yes, or there will be nothing, like
(57:05):
we will have no career.
Speaker 1 (57:06):
There'll be nothing left. Yeah, yeah, I love that. I think.
I think to your point, women, the world wants to
bamboozle us, and we do it to ourselves. And I
think anytime we can sit down and really just say
this is what I need, it's a big deal.
Speaker 2 (57:25):
One. And the pressure that we put on ourselves, the
pressure that the outside world puts on us, whether you're
a stay at home mom.
Speaker 3 (57:32):
Whether you're a fortune five hundred early, we're supposed to
do it all.
Speaker 2 (57:36):
I mean, I have a whole twenty minute bit about
our cortisol Like it's it's like everyone's cortisols through the
fucking roof.
Speaker 3 (57:42):
And nobody knows your cortisol is and.
Speaker 2 (57:44):
Then on top of that, you go to the doctor
and they can't figure out your hormones. I'm like, how
are we all this stressed, sweaty, exhausted while also having
insomnia and none of us can figure it out.
Speaker 1 (57:54):
That's the bottle of wine conversation we're having next. But
I love it. Where can people get tickets to your
remaining tour dates?
Speaker 2 (58:04):
You can get tickets at Heather ontour dot com. And
I'm serious, we gotta we have to get together a lady,
I know.
Speaker 3 (58:10):
And figure out.
Speaker 1 (58:10):
I gotta do it. I'm gonna text youant me, beat
me tweets, all right, I know where to find.
Speaker 3 (58:17):
I love you, adore you truly same.
Speaker 1 (58:20):
Yeah, you make me so happy and I just really
I cherish that I get to know you.
Speaker 3 (58:25):
My God, that's the kindest thing get for her. It's true.
Speaker 1 (58:28):
And you make me laugh. Bless you.
Speaker 3 (58:31):
You're doing the most. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 1 (58:33):
You're doing the Lord's work, honey. Thank you for today,
Oh my
Speaker 3 (58:37):
God, thank you
Host
Sophia Bush
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