Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to work in progress. Welcome
back to work in progress friends, and happy new Year.
(00:21):
I hope you all are feeling excited about this big
shift into twenty twenty six. It is, according to the numerologists,
the end of a nine year the beginning of a
one year, which they say has incredible power about cycles
ending and new beginnings. It's also the year of the midterms.
(00:42):
Can't wait to continue fighting for democracy here in the
US and hopefully by extension with our friends around the world.
I know, whether it's you know, personal, political, or something small,
everyone tends to I don't want to say launch resolutions,
although maybe I think you all know by now. I'm
(01:03):
more a fan of intentions than resolutions, because at least
for me, resolutions just feel like a recipe for failure.
But I think the idea of a personal reset, you know,
of wanting to be intentional about positive change in our lives,
that resonates with me. So I'm curious what you all
(01:26):
are thinking about in terms of what you want to
reset or reshape. I'd love to hear it. You all
send in such great questions for this, and so I
now have more questions for you. My goodness, we got
so many I'm going to try to make my way
through them. Sammy asks, what do you look forward to
(01:52):
the most in twenty twenty six. Gosh, I'm just excited
that the last year is over. There were incredible times
of joy and wonderful highs, but I think the year
in general was pretty hard for a lot of people.
You know, the authoritarian shift around the world and certainly
(02:15):
here at home. You know, current leadership making its way
through over half of Project twenty twenty five and eleven
months was pretty hard for a lot of us. I
just like, I want to feel like, instead of going backwards,
were going forwards. Maybe that's why the numerology stuff is
(02:36):
clicking for me these days. The year of the Horse,
the idea that it's forward momentum. I want that for
all of us. Things I'm looking forward to. While I'm
speaking to you all from my travel mic set in
South Africa, I'm here to make a film that I'm
really excited about. I spoke at the top of last year.
(02:57):
I tried to speak the intention of wanting to do
more and more comms, and I closed out twenty twenty
five making one, and I'm starting twenty twenty six, making one,
So that's incredibly fun for me. I am really looking
forward to our little one turning five in February. You know,
my partner has two really beautiful kids, and I am
(03:20):
lucky enough to be a present figure in their lives
and they're just the coolest And five feels like a
really big deal for a little girl. So I'm excited
about that. And I'm hoping that i get some more
time at home in the spring. I've been traveling for
work so much, and while that is an immense privilege,
(03:42):
it's hard to leave. And so, yeah, just hoping for
some springtime in New York and just looking forward to Yeah,
the new energy. I keep coming back to that. But
it's a good question, Sammy. The next one, I'm not
going to read your name. It seems like a question
(04:05):
that deserves some anonymous respect, so I'll just read your
question here, which is, do you have any advice for
a twenty year old closeted queer woman in South Alabama
in the current political climate. I'm very sorry that it's
a question you even have to ask, because I know
that the asking comes from the reality that you don't
(04:30):
feel safe and that makes me incredibly sad for you
and for our community at large. Really, you know, I
think it's a very strange thing that, in a world
filled with a lot of danger and suffering, that anyone
could be judged for who they love, especially being judged
(04:54):
for who they love, you know, based on a lie.
The religious books don't preach any version of homophobia, but
mistranslations in the forties did, and now here we are.
Check out Monti Matter and her incredible faith based research
on that stuff. If you need a point to bring up,
(05:18):
given that you are in the South, I know that
not any person not being able to live fully as
who they are, you know, trapped in secrecy or shrouded
in a shame spiral, it really takes a toll on you.
You know, it does damage to your soul. It has
(05:41):
the capacity to lessen your joy. And I don't want
any of that for you or anyone else. And so
I think my advice to you would be to be discerning,
because your safety is of paramount importance. Figure out who
in your life is is safe to talk to. Figure
(06:03):
out who in your life you trust, who your allies are,
and whether for your safety you want this reality to
be hidden, or you can manage to be safe and
find places where you don't have to hide, or you
have enough of a community where you don't really have
(06:25):
to hide at all, but you just haven't taken the leap.
You'll know what the right answer is for you. My
advice isn't advice so much as a wish, and the
wish is that you find the ability to be fully
who you are sooner than later, because everything is better
on the other side of that leap, and I know
(06:48):
that not everywhere is safe to take it. So I'm
sending you a lot of love, and I hope that
the future is less in the closet for you when
you feel like that's okay. And now a word from
our sponsors who make the show possible. Nabila asks if
(07:15):
you feel overwhelmed, well, if someone feels overwhelmed by the
world and what's going on, what would be your advice? Sister,
I am overwhelmed all the time. My only advice is
to try to spend more time around people who feel
like sunshine, to try to give of your time to
(07:36):
support causes in people who need and deserve support. If
you can build community not just by location but by purpose,
you will really feel less alone. And I think the overwhelm,
the overwhelm is designed to make us isolate. It's designed
to make us feel alone in the world. I think
(08:00):
our advocacy work, you know, go to a local food pantry,
go volunteer somewhere, gather your friends for a dance class,
do anything that will put you in joyful community with people.
Because we can do without a lot of things, but
(08:22):
we can't do without delight, and so we have to
make sure we don't let that get crushed. Some of
our greatest teachers, you know, like Audrey Lord's talked, you know,
said talked a lot about how joy is an act
of resistance. And while I don't think that gives us
(08:46):
permission to turn a blind eye to what's happening, I
do think you really need to make sure you're tapping
into joy regularly so you can stay in the fight.
Haley asks, what is one thing everyone should try to
better themselves year? Oh gosh, I think listening more is
really important. You know, we live in a time where
(09:10):
the Internet, especially has made everybody feel more binary about
their opinions, and life's not black and white, everything's in
shades of gray. Hopefully really in shades of color a rainbow,
even if you will. But I think we've got to
listen to each other, ask more questions with less anger. First.
(09:33):
I think it's a good exercise. And I think if
you try to be kinder to other people, it'll also
make it kinder to yourself. I think everyone deserves some
self love after surviving twenty twenty five, Henry, what's a
belief you've completely changed your mind about as an adult?
(09:54):
I think I spent a lot of time thinking if
I only worked harder, pretzeled more, figured out how to
please others more, then everything would be okay. I've really
gotten over the idea that I'm supposed to be liked
by everyone. It makes me really sad to think about
(10:17):
being disliked. I'm a human, but I can't care about
other people's opinions more than I care about my own
or those of my friends and family. And I just
am really done making myself small to please other people.
And I think that would be something I'd wish for
(10:40):
you guys too. You know, the likability thing, especially for women,
is just a trap, So throw it in the garbage.
Near's resolution. Cleo says, what is a green flag that
instantly makes you like someone. Geez, a green flag. I
pay a of attention to the way that people talk
(11:02):
to people you know, are they are they polite in public?
Do they hold the door open for people you know
entering or exiting a building around them? Are people kind
to wait staff and service folks like are you nice
to city workers and the folks on the subway and
(11:23):
the people at the airport? You know, when when people
go out of their way to be courteous or to
ask a person in a service position how their day
is going and mean it that that instantly makes me
like someone in their energy. Oh jiel, this is a
good question. What's the most reckless thing you've ever done
(11:45):
that you'd probably do again? Take an international flight to
go on a date. I would do that with my
partner anytime, any day, and hope we get to do
that for a very very long time. I think. I
(12:07):
think it's always reckless to show up for love and
to take a risk to see if you're going to
fall in love or better yet, rise in love. And
sometimes it's been great and sometimes it hasn't. But I
don't regret any of it. Something I'll always bet big
(12:29):
on for sure. Georgie favorite thing to do in New
York City with friends. God, there's so many fun things
to do in New York, some of which I don't
want to share because I got to have my spots.
But you know what I will say I did this
year that was so sweet. Ash and I took our
(12:52):
families and the kids to a Christmas market, Like we
did the whole Midtown thing. We did Rockefeller Center and
the big beautiful tree and then went to Bryant Park
through all the like cute little Christmas village and got
you know, all the snacks, churros and chocolate and hot
cocoa and doughnuts, and it was it was sort of
(13:15):
like dropping into a Christmas movie set. And it's not
something you normally do in a place where you live,
you know, it's like a tourist thing. And we did
it with the kids and it was the sweetest, just
loveliest little family adventure. And I was talking about how,
(13:36):
you know, for the ten years I lived in Wilmington,
I never actually toured the battleship on the Cape Fair River.
That's a museum now and like we've filmed next to
it multiple times a month if multiple times a week,
and I never went in there because I lived there
and I didn't like do the tourist stuff, and I
wish that I had, And this was a really fun
(13:57):
thing to do. So I'll say for you fellow residents,
like try the holiday tourist thing. It's really cute. And
now a word from our sponsors, Maddie Jones Dream Podcast
(14:19):
guest at our Live. Oh my god, immediately, John Lewis.
I was lucky enough to be in his presence a
few times over the years, you know, working for progress,
and I don't know, I thought i'd have more time,
and he was such an incredible leader and such an icon,
(14:41):
and the stories that he lived were things I wish
I'd been able to have a long conversation with him
about just for inspiration, you know, i'd say on the
like purely fun and live side, I'd love to interview
Madonna like she's wild and cool and just has such
(15:08):
a power to her. I would. I would love that.
So if she's around, hit me up girl, Linda. Oh,
this is a great question before a big meeting or audition,
what song do you blast to pump yourself up? So
this changes all the time for me particularly, you know,
if I'm if I'm like memorizing material for an audition
(15:32):
or you know, a test or something. I usually will
make a playlist for a character, and you know, sometimes
they start as three, four or five songs and then
through the span of the job they grow. But I
think music can really set a mood. So I don't
have a go to song. I have songs I pick
based on the vibe of the project. Ah cool beans.
(15:58):
Do you ever get nervous or self conscious before a
love scene? Oh my god, it's so funny. I know
that intimate scenes must seem so wild for people out
there in the world, but they're like the most choreographed
things we do of anything. I mean, love scenes and
(16:20):
stunts are choreographed to equal measure, and so they're very
technical and really not romantic in any way. It's a
lot of it's a lot of like make sure your
nose is tilted just like this so you don't block
this person's light. So no, I don't think I've ever
(16:41):
felt nervous, because I always go in feeling very prepared.
For me, it's it's always more that like awkward moment
after where you've got to figure out how to, you know,
get up in front of your whole crew and then
like look at everybody and be like, well, we just
did a weird thing together. It's more that moment that
makes me feel a little bit bashful, but it's just
(17:04):
part of the job. Another Haley different from the one
up top. I'm just not reading y'all's full handles or
last names because I don't know who wants. There's stuff
on blast but asks what's your favorite thing to do
when your anxiety is high? Girl? Send tips? My anxiety
is high, but I try to remind myself. Something I
(17:27):
do a lot is a reframe that's been really transformative
for me, where when things feel overwhelming and I'm like, well,
I have to do this, and I have to do that,
and then I have to do these next three things.
Is to shift that method or way of speaking to
myself too. I get to I get to do this,
and I get to do that, and then I get
(17:48):
to do these next three things. I get to do
these things in my life, and I think that feels
like a big deal. Smashly, what's one thing you're quietly
proud of but haven't said out loud? Oh man, I'm
really proud of continuing to do the work that I
(18:15):
try to do on myself. You know, that's an inside job.
It's not something people get to see or hear about.
But to be at a point where I've done a
lot of work to heal the things I've had to heal,
and I am choosing to continue pulling at those threads
to offer the same kind of tenderness two people who've
(18:40):
hurt me, two people I've had to heal from, because
I do really digging into life experiences. Think everyone deserves that.
And I think when you can not only forgive yourself,
but forgive the people that have hurt you, you can
encourage other people to forgive themselves, and hopefully you can
(19:02):
encourage people to extend forgiveness to you for the ways
you've inevitably hurt them. You know, we've all we've all
hurt someone, and we've all been absolutely eviscerated by someone.
And I think, I think choosing to grow your capacity
(19:22):
for tenderness in both directions is really important, and it's
something I work really hard at and the world probably
won't ever hear about any of that in detail, but
I am proud of it. Thank you for that great
question glaring at you, Which moment of your life would
(19:47):
you want to relive if given the choice. Oh, I
know what it is, but I'm going to keep it
for myself. But thank you for the smile, Venan Tea.
What would eight or nine year old Sophia say looking
at you thriving right now? Well, you know, she was
(20:07):
like a little granny and a little kid's body. I
think I think she would be really proud that I
work so hard and that I'm also choosing a life
that I love. It was really all about work for
(20:28):
a long long time, and I think that's okay. You know,
I love my career, and I think we should all
love our careers. But I think the willingness to pursue
happiness and the willingness to fail in public when it
(20:52):
would be easier not to if I just settled, would
really tickle her, because because she was an adventurous little kid,
and there was a lot of the world that told
her to be less so for a long time and
I don't abide by that telling in my adulthood, and
(21:12):
I think she'd be thrilled by that and probably would say, well,
you could have done it sooner, And then this kills
me the last of the filtered questions. I know my
producers did this to surprise me. You sweet souls, I'm
going to call you out by your first and last name,
(21:32):
Ashlyn Harris. I can't believe you responded to this Instagram story.
What is the most profound thing you've learned about love?
I think the most profound thing I have learned about
love from you and with you is that, yes, those
(21:54):
adages of relationships are hard, are true. Building a life
is hard, you know, running a what is essentially a company,
you know, like an industry that has all these arms
to people and their lives and their multifaceted careers and
kids and travel and all the things like that's complicated.
(22:18):
But what I've the most profound thing I've learned about
love is that it doesn't have to feel like rock.
It can be water. It can have flow, and it
can surprise you, and it can be wild and powerful,
and it can be really slow and quiet. And when
(22:39):
it is all of those things, it finds its way
into every little crevice of your life and nurtures who
you are. And that is a profound thing to learn
after four decades on this planet, and I feel immensely
grateful and I think that's a pretty special place to end.
(23:07):
Thank you all for your questions, thank you to my
person for my favorite one. Thank you for taking the time,
and after you listen to this, I'd love to hear
your thoughts about twenty twenty six. Let us know what
some of your goals are. You know what you want
(23:29):
to learn, what you want to do, what you want
to set intensions around this year. We'd love to chat.
Thanks everyone, Happy holidays,