March 11, 2025 • 32 mins
Have you ever faced a problem that you didn’t know how to change or solve? Perhaps it’s time to fully receive the gift that the difficulty is here to give you.
This isn’t a cheap form of glossing over the details.
It’s not about quickly “flipping” the story to be a positive one.
It’s about listening deeply to what is taking place and receiving whatever wisdom or freedom or relief or liberation the challenge is trying to give you. It’s about fully moving through the experience in all of its discomfort and even pain.
This is not a task for the faint of heart. In fact, it’s a task of unbelievable courage, and it seems a level of courage that is needed now more than ever.
Host: Ally Fallon // @allyfallon // allisonfallon.com
Follow Ally on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allyfallon/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back
together with the words you write, all the beauty and
peace and the magic that you'll start too fun when
you write your story. You got the words and said,
don't you think it's down.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
To let them out and write them down on cold
It's all about.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
And write your story. Write, write your story.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hi, and welcome back to the Write Your Story Podcast.
I'm Ali Fallon. I'm your host, and on today's episode,
I have something that I want to share with you
that I think is really pertinent to the current time
that we're living in. I had a few other episode
ideas that I wanted to record, and I still will
record those episodes. But this morning, I was in my
yoga practice, which, as many of you know, I've been
(00:50):
in practice six days a week because I'm doing this
yoga teacher training, and so many insights have come through
and ideas and just wisdom has come through as I'm
doing yoga, which is exactly my experience with yoga over
the course of the past decade plus. Anyway, so I'm
in my yoga practice this morning and this this idea
comes through and it was just like a download, like
zip zip zip, zip zip and all of a sudden,
(01:11):
the list of other things that I had known I
wanted to talk about on the podcast, various episodes I
wanted to record. It was like this one just went
straight to the top of the list and had this
feeling of urgency around it, like this needs to be
said right now, if not for you, then for me,
but hopefully you can get something out of it too.
So I want to share with you this insight that
came through for me in yoga and talk about that
(01:32):
for a minute, about what it felt like in the
yoga practice as I had this epiphany, and then also
take it outside of the yoga room and talk about
what this means for us as we move through our
daily lives. Okay, so here's how the epiphany came through
in my yoga practice. I have been practicing six days
a week because this is part of the requirements for
this teacher training program that I'm doing. I've been practicing
(01:54):
yoga since twenty fifteen, but I really fell off the
bandwagon in about twenty twenty when I got pregnant with
my daughter, and then when the world shut down, you know,
I kept practicing for the first trimester ish and then
in March when the world shut down. I even continued
practicing kind of in my living room even though we
couldn't go to yoga studios anymore where I was in California,
I continued to you know, move my practice forward, or
(02:17):
like at least date had a daily practice in my
living room. And that lasted for maybe a couple of weeks,
I don't really remember how long, but kind of slowly
it fell apart, and I realized that I was missing
the community, the group practice, and so I just fell
off the wagon of yoga practice.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
I was doing other things.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I was you know, walking or hiking really like light
hiking at that point in my pregnancy, and I did
keep trying to move my body, but I fell off
the train of yoga practice. And then you know, I
had one baby and another baby, and I won't belabor
the story, but essentially I just fell out of the
practice of working out altogether. I would still really try
(02:53):
to get outside. I would think a lot about you know,
sweating or getting my heart rate up, because that's just
something that's been in my daily reportory or for a
really long time. But for a long time I wasn't
really doing anything that's strenuous. I definitely wasn't doing a
yoga practice. I wasn't in the hot room. And so
coming back to this yoga teacher training has felt a
little bit like getting thrown into the deep end. And
(03:14):
I recorded a whole episode about being a beginner because
I really felt like when I came back to the
yoga studio, I really felt like a beginner all over again.
It was like flashbacks to twenty fifteen when I had
never been in a yoga class in my life and
I stepped in the studio and I remember the teachers saying,
you know, your whole goal in this class is just
to stay in the room. That's your whole goal is
just stay in the room. Because it's heated to depending
(03:35):
on your class, it's heated to like ninety eight degrees
up to somewhere like one hundred and four hundred and five.
So even just sitting in the room can be a
meditation for people and can get your heart rate up
and can make you feel a little claustrophobic at times.
And so I came back to the practice this year
got thrown into the deep end. I'm taking six classes
a week as part of this yoga teacher training, and
(03:56):
I have felt my body respond really quickly. I was
telling my husband how the poses come back almost like
riding a bike. Like I'm like, oh yeah, my body
knows what to do here. Being in the hot room
does not come back like that. I mean it has
over the course of the last six weeks or so.
It has come back to me and I'm like, oh, yeah, okay,
I remember this. We're doing this. But I've had several
(04:16):
moments in hot classes, especially the hot twenty six classes,
which are the ones that are heated up over one
hundred degrees, where I'll have a moment in the class
where i start to feel dizzy or lightheaded, and I'll
lay down on my mat, which is what you're instructed
to do, and I'll kind of lay there and be
like the thoughts in my head start running. I'm like, oh,
my gosh, this is I have to get out of here,
you know, I can't breathe.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
I have to get out.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I have to get some air, and I can focus
on slowing my breathing down and slowing my heart rate
and calming myself and almost like cooling myself from the
inside out by just being like, you're safe.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
You know your heart rate's coming down even as we speak,
and can control my breathing in that way, and I'm
able to stay in the room. Had these moments. The
whole point of telling this backstory is to say that
I've had these moments in class that feel like physically
it's too much for me. It's like pushing me beyond
my limits. And I'm either like in a posture or
(05:14):
sometimes I'm even laying on the ground and it's just
a matter of being in the hot room where on
the one hand, on the one side of things, I'm
saying to myself, this is too difficult. I cannot do this.
And then what happened for me in my practice today
is there was this other voice that came through that
is whatever you want to call it. It comes through
for me in yoga practice, which is one of the
(05:35):
reasons why I love yoga practice. But it also can
come through in prayer or meditation or reading a book
or journaling or anything else. Walking in nature. This voice
that comes through, and I'm sure you've had this experience
where you just have an intuition or an insight or
a wisdom You're like, that's whatever you want to call
it like, that's either God, that's my true self, it's
(05:57):
my higher self. Whatever you want to name that thing.
It's the Holy Spirit, whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
To call it.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
This thing that comes through that feels like it's higher
than me. It's higher than my small self. It's higher
than the part of me that says this is too hard,
I can't do this. And the insight that came through
for me today and my practice was this, It was
don't miss what the difficulty is here to give you.
And in fact, a couple of weeks ago, we did
(06:23):
a weekend part of the training. The teacher training includes
these long weekends where you go for eight to ten
hours on a Saturday and a Sunday, back to back,
and you're doing multiple things. You're sitting in class.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Learning about the anatomy or learning about the history of yoga.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
You're practicing the sequences and the scripts for the sequences
that you need to know as a teacher. You're doing
yoga practice with other people who are in the program.
And this particular weekend we did two really long hard
classes on a Saturday and then one hard class on
a Sunday. I was telling Matts, I was walking out
of the door on Saturday morning, He's like, are you excited?
(06:58):
Are you so excited for your training? And I'm like,
I am, and also I'm terrified. I literally felt like
a deer in headlights. I was like, I know, we
have to do this double today. We have to do,
you know, a long warmer class in the middle of
the day, and then in the evening we're going to
do an even longer hot class in the really hot room.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
And I was like, the heat is.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
What has been getting me, and so I'm nervous about
what my body is going to do when I'm in
that really hot room. And sure enough, you know, we
do the long hard class in the afternoon, and I
felt like I fared okay with that. It was still
really difficult, but I fared okay. And then in the
evening we do this super long it's a ninety minute
hot class in one hundred and four degree room. And
because there are so many of us in the teacher training,
(07:39):
there were like thirty plus people in the room, and
so the more bodies that are in the room, the
hotter it.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Gets in the room.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
So it was just even extra hot in the room,
and there was a point in that class where I
laid down on my mat and this is maybe kind
of like the peak experience that I've had in my
teacher training so far, where I laid down on my
mat and I I felt a part of me go like,
get out of here, get out of this room immediately,
like you're unsafe. It was like this voice in my
(08:06):
head that was like, you're unsafe. Your heart rates too high,
this is not good for you. And then there was
this other part of me that broke through that was like,
you can do this. Do not miss what the difficulty
is here to teach you, don't miss what it's here
to show you. And sure enough I stayed in the room.
I was fine, my heart rate was fine. I left
(08:26):
that room that night and felt like a massive, massive relief.
I've been going through a season of really deep grief.
I lost my dad last fall, I lost a baby
last fall. I have been in the depths of grief
(08:49):
and yoga across the board, but particularly that class has
given me these opportunities to almost move the energy through
my body, like move the grief through my body in
a way that doesn't always feel comfortable, but that after
the fact.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Is like, oh, like sweet relief.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
It's like a tension that was there in my body
before has left, and I could almost just sob like.
The release sometimes comes through tears, it sometimes comes through sweat,
it sometimes comes through like a feeling of shaking or
letting go, But the feeling afterwards is just like, oh,
sweet release, liberation, freedom. I feel like I let go
(09:26):
of something that was so heavy that I've been holding
on to for a really long time, and now it
feels like it's gone and I feel more confident. I
feel like, look, I did that. I'm so proud of myself.
I stayed in the room even when it was really hard.
And I want to delineate something here because I'll share
a few different examples of how this can move outside
of the yoga room. And I want to make sure
that I'm really clear on the fact that I don't
(09:47):
mean to stay in a situation that actually is unsafe
for you. And I think it can be difficult to
decipher between these two things, like which is my real
self talking or my true self which is my ego
self talking, which is my fear self talking, and which
is the higher self talking which is me talking, and
which is God talking. What's holy Spirit and what's not.
(10:09):
I think it can be hard to kind of pull
those things apart. And so, you know, when you're in
a situation where something's happening and you feel like, I
can't do this, this is too hard, I couldn't possibly
move through this. There is nothing wrong with taking a
break or backing off or you know, checking to see,
like if I were to get up and let's say,
leave the heated room in that moment, I don't think
(10:30):
that there would be anything inherently wrong with that. But
I had this higher, deeper, stronger sense, this other part
of me that was also present with me at the time,
that was like, yes, you can do this, Yes you
are safe, stay with yourself, breathe, you can slow down
your heart rate. And sure enough, when I was able
(10:52):
to stay with myself, I was able to slow down
my heart rate and I was perfectly safe the whole time.
And I think a lot of times we miss out
on our greatest potential, our greatest possibility, and even like
healing that wants to be handed to us, or even
receiving gifts that want to be given to us, because
we are unwilling to move through something we've told ourselves.
(11:15):
It's too challenging for us, it's too difficult, we can't
possibly do it. And actually I had the physical experience
of receiving in that moment I am strong enough to
do this. I am I can do this, And I
can't explain to you the shift in confidence that that
has given me. And I think that experience a couple
(11:35):
of weeks ago on that big weekend class where I
did that thing that I thought I couldn't do, and then,
you know, even one of the instructors afterwards told all
of us she said, I think that was one of
the top five most difficult classes I've ever been to.
And I've been through hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of
hours of teacher trainings. So like, good on you that
you guys did that. You stuck it out, you stayed
(11:56):
in the room, you did what you need to do,
you did your work, you know, and now you get
to receive all the benefits of that. So hearing that
from her was also really validating. It's like, yeah, that
was really challenging, it was really difficult. I did the
very best that I could do. I stayed in the room,
and I'm so proud of myself and I feel a
sense of groundedness and sturdiness and confidence now that I
can do anything, and that has carried with me, and
(12:20):
I think that's part of where this wisdom that came
through today and my practice was coming from that I'm
in a pose, my whole body's shaking, I'm sweating everywhere.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
I'm feeling like, oh, this is so hard.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
You know, I can't do this, And then this higher
wisdom comes through and says, don't miss, don't miss what
this difficulty is wanting to give you. That feeling afterwards
where you walk out of the room and you have
confidence and you feel sturdy and you know you're strong.
And also the release, the feeling of freedom, the liberation
that comes on the other side of doing the actual
(12:55):
work of just doing it, of staying in the room
is so powerful that I almost was just in tears
this morning thinking about this. It's like this concept of
don't miss the gift that this difficulty wants to give you.
And immediately when my practice was over, I was thinking
about how the supplies outside of the yoga room and
(13:16):
in my life. I immediately started thinking about the last
five years of difficulty that I've been in which I
have talked about at length on this podcast, and I
will not get into it in this episode. Feel free
if you're new here to go back and catch up
and listen to old episodes. Last season, in particular, I
unpacked the whole story from start to finish, and maybe
belabored the point a little bit too much, but it's
(13:38):
a good example of how I have been in resistance
and in struggle with this whole unfolding experience. And it
all happened exactly as it was meant to happen, and
I don't hold any give it over my head, you know,
I'm not holding myself like I don't have any regret
or guilts necessarily about how it all unfolded.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
But it's I.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Can see differently now than I could see back then.
I see the story differently than I was able to
see it back then.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
And this is a.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Telltale marker that you are the hero of the story
and you're experiencing your transformation. Is when you begin to
see the story differently. And now that I look back
over the course of the last five years, I'm beginning
to see, Wow, I didn't want to receive or wasn't
capable maybe of fully receiving the gifts that my difficulties
wanted to give me over the last five years, and
(14:27):
so instead I was in headstrong resistance with the difficulties
as they arose. Difficulties would come up and I would think, Oh,
this can't be happening, this is so dumb, this is unfair,
this shouldn't be this way. And those phrases that I
just used, I think are signs that you're in resistance
with the difficulty that is in front of you. And
(14:50):
those feelings are also legitimate and they're fair, and they
were feelings that I was having at the time, and
I give myself permission for that. And also now as
I'm moving through this season, I'm able to see it
from a higher place. I'm able to see it from
a different vantage point. And again, this is the telltale
mark of moving through your story and becoming the hero
and transforming along that narrative arc, is that from this place,
(15:15):
I'm able to see things a little bit differently, and
I look back now and go, oh, I or almost
like she doing this. And the third person is really
helpful when you think about yourself as the hero of
the story, because you are the narrator now you're the
transformed hero, and so you're not that same person you
were back then. So I can almost look back and go.
She that girl back there was in such resistance to
(15:38):
the difficulty that was in front of her. She could
not fully receive it. She could not stay in the room.
She didn't have it then to do that, to say
to herself, I'm going to stay in the room no
matter what. I'm going to stay in the room. She
just didn't have it to give. And that's okay. But
now I look back and go if she could fully
receive the difficulty, maybe the difficulty has something it wants
(16:01):
to show her. Maybe it has something it wants to
tell her. Maybe the difficulty has something it wants to
give you. Maybe it wants to give you a sweet release.
Maybe it wants to give you freedom. Maybe it wants
to give you peace. Oh, maybe it wants to give
you relief. Oh wouldn't that be so wonderful if the
difficulty wanted to give you relief? And what would it
(16:23):
look like for you to surrender to the difficulty, to
allow the difficulty to be there? Because this is the
absurdity of this, as you really think about it, that
the difficulty is not going anywhere, at least in my
set of circumstances.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
My resistance to.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
The difficulty never made the difficulty go away. It put
me outside of reality at times, like I was in
such resistance to the challenges I was facing that I
had to almost pretend that it wasn't real. I had
to like disconnect and to try to pretend like, this
isn't happening this way, This couldn't possibly be happening. This
couldn't happen to us, It couldn't happen to me. And
(17:01):
I think, you know, as much as that numbed the
pain from a momentary sense, it actually prolonged the pain
from a larger sense, from a higher sense. And looking
back now, I can see that if I could have
surrendered to the pain earlier, if I could have surrendered
to the difficulty earlier, maybe I would have had relief earlier.
Maybe I would have had a breakthrough earlier. Maybe I
(17:25):
could have received the gifts that my difficulty was trying
to offer me. But I wasn't capable of doing that
back then. That's okay, I give myself permission for that.
I wasn't ready. I'm ready now I have a sturdiness
now to fully receive whatever it is that this challenge
wants to offer me. And another thing that came to
(17:45):
mind as I was thinking about this concept is I
went immediately back to ten years ago. Twenty fifteen was
when I left my abusive marriage and filed for divorce
and went through one of the darkest times of my life.
(18:06):
This actually, ironically coincided with my introduction to yoga. I
started going to yoga in September of twenty fifteen, and
no surprise, no coincidence, also left my marriage in November
of twenty fifteen and got divorced in twenty sixteen. So
this is almost ten years ago now. But when I
look back, I'm like, oh, there's no coincidence here that
(18:27):
I started going to yoga class. I was a total beginner.
I didn't know what I was doing. I gained the confidence,
the sturdiness, the steadiness to receive my difficulty that was
in front of me. And once I had the sturdiness
to do that, I did it and I left. I
did something that up until then I had not been
capable to do. I literally didn't have it in me.
(18:49):
I didn't have the skills. I didn't have the strength.
I didn't have the confidence. I didn't have any of it.
I didn't have the voice to leave. And as soon
as I started to acquire those things, I was able
to make the choice that I had known for a
really long time that I needed to make. And So
when I think back on that time, especially on the
(19:09):
marriage that I lived through, knowing what I know now,
if I could go back to twenty twelve when I
got married, I would never have married this person. I
would never have been interested in him. I would never
have married him. I would never have stayed married beyond
our wedding day, because things got infinitely worse after our
wedding day. I would never have stayed married. I would
have left immediately. There are so many things I can
(19:31):
think of now that I would have done back then
if I had known, But I just didn't know. I
didn't have the skills. I didn't have the strength, I
didn't have the tools, I didn't have the vision, I
didn't have the wisdom. I wasn't mature enough, and so
I stayed in that situation. And I would never recommend
that anyone stay in a difficulty like that, especially if
you're in a place where you're unsafe physically or emotionally unsafe,
(19:54):
where you don't feel like you have a voice, or
you don't feel like you're heard. And yet the wild
thing to me, and don't misunderstand me here, but I
just want to say, the wild thing to me is
that now I look back and say that difficulty that
I faced wanted to give me something. It wanted to
give me gifts. And it wasn't until I became confident
(20:15):
enough and strong enough to receive the gifts that the
difficulty wanted to give me that I was able to
take them in and leave the relationship. So I'm not saying,
please don't mishear me. I'm not saying stay in a
difficult situation to receive the difficulty. If you have the
power to leave, then by all means leave the difficult situation.
But there are also difficulties in front of many of
(20:36):
us that we do not have the power to leave,
or at least not immediately. And if you're in a
difficult situation where you don't have the power to leave,
I wonder if it might be helpful to think about
this metaphor of staying in the room. Can you stay
in the room with the difficulty long enough for it
to give you the gifts that it wants to give you.
(20:56):
All of us are in a period of time in
history right now where there are a lot of difficulties
in front of us. There if nothing else, if you
want to just call it chaos, there's a lot of
chaos unfolding in the world in front of us. And
you know, if you've been around here for a while,
you know I don't talk about politics much on this show.
I've recorded maybe one episode where I shared a small
(21:18):
little glimpse into my political ideologies.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
So this is not political.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
But no matter who you are, no matter where you live,
no matter how you vote, no matter what part of
the country you're in, or maybe you're out of the country,
maybe you don't live in the US, is what I mean.
Wherever you are, we are up against, especially those who
live in the US, are up against some major difficulties.
And I wonder what it would look like for us
to flip the script on ourselves just a little bit
(21:44):
and think about this period of time through the lens
of what does this difficulty want to give us? What
are the gifts that this difficulty wants to give us?
And This can be inflammatory because I'm not saying that
it's good that we're in this position. I'm not saying
that I'm glad. I'm not saying yay, you know that
(22:05):
the entire governmental system is falling apart or being like
systematically dismantled.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Rather, I'm not saying any of that.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I'm saying, what would it look like to look at
this period of time through the lens of I'm in
the room. I don't have the power to leave the
room right now, or if I do, if you do
have the power to leave the room, then by all means,
please leave the room. But if you are like me
and you don't have the power to quote unquote leave
the room right now, can you stay in the room
(22:33):
and stay with your breath and see what this difficulty
wants to offer you, See what this challenge wants to
show you to receive the gifts that it wants to
give you, to become the kind of person who can
rise above this challenge. And Marian Williamson I was listening
to what she shared on Instagram the other day. I
really have been trying to stay off of Instagram because
it's really unsettling and hard to take in and yet
(22:55):
I've been kind of taking it in and SIPs and doses.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
And I love what Marianne Williamson.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Said about it's not always about what's happening to you.
It's the way she said it, It's about who you
choose to be in the space of what's happening to you.
And I've been asking myself, who do I choose to
be in the space of what's.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Happening to me?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
And I'm asking that on a personal level and on
a collective level, because I'm going through some personal difficulties
right now that I do not have the power to
shift or change. I have put every ounce of effort,
every resource, everything I know how to do behind changing
and fixing this problem, and I do not have what
(23:35):
it takes to fix it. And so all I can
do right now is receive the problem. That's all I
can do. I can receive the difficulty and receive the
benefits that the difficulty wants to give me. Now, does
the difficulty also give me pain?
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Does it also bring up fear, Yes, that fear is
coming up to be resolved. Does it also bring me
discomfort yes? Does it also make me sad? Yes, that
sadness is coming up to be resolved, to literally leave
my body, to give me freedom and liberation to come
up and out. And if I wasn't facing these challenges,
(24:13):
then there wouldn't be the opportunity for that thing to
leave my body.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Imagine this.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Imagine that sadness is living in your body. It's living there,
it's already in there. And if you just move through
your life unscathed, which nothing wrong with that, but if
you just kind of bop through life, then there's no
opportunity for those things to come out, you know, the
traumas from our childhood, the trauma that's been passed down
(24:38):
to us from generations prior to us. There's no opportunity
for these things to come up and out unless they're triggered,
unless we bump up against something that makes us kind
of go oh yeah, oh, that's there, ooh, and then
we move through it and then it leaves, and then
we're liberated. So I want to offer this to you.
This is what I'm doing in my personal life, and
(24:58):
it's also what I'm doing is I think about the
collective and the difficulty we're moving through as a collective,
because there's kind of two ways that my ego self,
for my small self or I don't know, false self,
however you want to say it wants to deal with
the political landscape as it stands. One way is to
panic and to do all the things I'm seeing people
(25:20):
on Instagram say to do, like quit, get your documents
in order, and make a go bag and get your kids' passports,
and those things are fine to do, and I may
also do some of them. But there's one kind of
energy of like panic, this is bad, you know, get
ready for the world to completely fall apart. And then
there's another energy that's like just ignore, just pretend like
(25:43):
none of this is happening, and that's how we're going
to survive. Just kind of shut yourself off, don't pay
attention to anything, you know, just live in La la land,
put your head in the clouds, just go to your
yoga class, you know, just focus on your family. Which again,
like on both sides of those things, there are hearts
of that that you could pull out and go like
that's actually probably a good thing, Like maybe make a
(26:03):
go bag, maybe keep some food on hand, maybe get
a generator, you know, and then also like yeah, maybe
focus on your family. Maybe focus on your community. That
might be a great thing to do during this time.
And also there's a higher picture, there's a higher voice,
there's a different way of seeing this that's from a
broader perspective that says, there's something in this for us.
(26:28):
This is an opportunity to rise to the occasion. This
is a moment where you get to choose are you
going to step into your higher self or are you
going to stay small. It's a moment where you get
to decide who what type of person do I want
to be inside of this environment? What are my values?
How am I going to show up for myself and
for my neighbors and for my family. Am I going
to align myself with evil and corruption and chaos and.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
You know, calamity?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Or am I going to align myself with integrity? Am
I going to align myself with kindness? Am I going
to align myself with generosity? Am I going to be
the kind of person who stays calm in the midst
of a crisis? I had an old yoga teacher. This
just came to my mind. I love this saying. One
of my original teachers, who I learned so much from,
(27:17):
used to say, be the kind of person who someone
wants to call in a crisis. I don't know why
that makes me feel emotional. I want to be the
kind of person who other people want to call in
a crisis. I think one of the reasons that makes
me feel some feelings is I think about the people
in my life who I know I can call in
a crisis.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
My dad was one of those people. My dad had
a lot of flaws.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
My dad and I disagreed about a lot of different things,
and we were somewhat estranged for the last years of
his life. But my dad was the type of person
who you want to call in a crisis. He was
the type of person who would stay calm no matter what.
One of my dear friends, Betsy, is the type of
person you want to call in a crisis. My friend
Beth the type of person who you pick up the
phone in the middle of the night when the world
(28:00):
is falling apart, and you know that just hearing their
voice on the other end of the line is going
to make you feel better, more grounded, more secure. The
type of person who just knows what to say, and
you know what, every single person I know who moves
like that through the world is someone who has the
benefit of doing that. They have the strength. It didn't
come from nowhere. It wasn't just like immediately given to them.
(28:23):
People have the strength because they've faced hardship and they've
received the difficulty. They've received the gifts that difficulty has
to give them. Every single person I know who's the
kind of person who you would call in a crisis
has that quality because they have received the gifts that
difficulty has to offer them. And I want to be
that kind of person. I want to be the kind
(28:43):
of person who can take it in and move it through,
and who can keep my two feet on the ground
when there's a crisis, and who can stay in alignment
with my values even when the entire world around me
feels like it's out of alignment with what I see
to be true. I know it's not true that the
whole world is, but sometimes it feels like that inside
of the chaos. And so whether it's personal chaos that
(29:06):
you're facing, or whether it's collective chaos and you're looking
around at the US government and economy and whatever's happening,
just wild stuff happening in the USA right now. So
whether it's that or whether it's personal stuff. Whether your
finances are a mess or your relationship's a mess, you
don't know if you're going to stay or go or
get divorced, or work on your marriage or go to therapy,
(29:27):
like whatever it is that you're facing. Are you able
to receive the difficulty and receive the gifts that the
difficulty wants to offer you? Can you become the kind
of person who someone would call in a crisis. Can
you stay in the room. Can you stay in the
room and focus on your breath. You have the power
to slow down your heart rate if you focus on
(29:48):
your breathing.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
And if you.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Focus only on the problem, you lose the power to
slow your heart rate. If you focus only on the problem,
you lose the ability to take in the gifts that
the problem wants to offer you. Am I saying this
is easy? No Am I saying I have it figured out.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
No?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Am I saying that this is without discomfort? No Am
I saying that there won't be moments where I still
want to numb out or check out, or moments where
I want to panic.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
No.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
What I'm saying is I want to begin to look
at the difficulties in my life through the lens of
what's the gift that this difficulty wants to offer me.
This is not cheap toxic positivity, It is not This
takes real courage. This is not just rainbow washing and
going like things are great. Actually, toxic positivity is the
(30:36):
one side of that coin that I was telling you
about where there's two sides. One wants to panic and
the other one wants to pretend like everything's fine. That's
toxic positivity, and toxic positivity is the other side of
the panic coin. So they're the same energy just flipped around.
That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm not talking
about just being like it's you know, life is horrible,
(30:57):
but it's all good because it's giving me gifts. It's like,
can we breathe in the gift of this time? Can
you breathe in the gift of this difficulty. This is
not for the faint of heart. It takes a tremendous
amount of courage. I feel like I'm barely tasting it
and think I owe it to yoga, my yoga practice.
(31:19):
I'm so grateful to be back in this practice and
whatever it is for you that gives you access to
this vantage point. Please do not falter on these rituals
and routines at this time. If it's meditation for you,
if it's prayer, if it's journaling, if it's church, if
it's you know, meeting with a mentor, if it's therapy,
if it's pharmaceuticals, like if you are taking a anti
(31:41):
anxiety or antidepressant, and that is giving you this groundedness,
whatever it is for you, that's giving you access to
the real you. The higher you, the stronger you, the
more confident you. Whatever is giving you access to the
God that runs the universe, or that like is the
origin of all things. Whatever gives you that hold on
(32:03):
to that during this time, because we're all gonna need it.
I'm in this with you. I love you, I'm sending
you so much love, and I will be back with
you next week on the Write Your Story podcast
Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back
together with the words you write, all the beauty and
peace and the magic that you'll start too fun when
you write your story. You got the words and said,
don't you think it's down.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
To let them out and write them down on cold
It's all about.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
And write your story. Write, write your story.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hi, and welcome back to the Write Your Story Podcast.
I'm Ali Fallon. I'm your host, and on today's episode,
I have something that I want to share with you
that I think is really pertinent to the current time
that we're living in. I had a few other episode
ideas that I wanted to record, and I still will
record those episodes. But this morning, I was in my
yoga practice, which, as many of you know, I've been
(00:50):
in practice six days a week because I'm doing this
yoga teacher training, and so many insights have come through
and ideas and just wisdom has come through as I'm
doing yoga, which is exactly my experience with yoga over
the course of the past decade plus. Anyway, so I'm
in my yoga practice this morning and this this idea
comes through and it was just like a download, like
zip zip zip, zip zip and all of a sudden,
(01:11):
the list of other things that I had known I
wanted to talk about on the podcast, various episodes I
wanted to record. It was like this one just went
straight to the top of the list and had this
feeling of urgency around it, like this needs to be
said right now, if not for you, then for me,
but hopefully you can get something out of it too.
So I want to share with you this insight that
came through for me in yoga and talk about that
(01:32):
for a minute, about what it felt like in the
yoga practice as I had this epiphany, and then also
take it outside of the yoga room and talk about
what this means for us as we move through our
daily lives. Okay, so here's how the epiphany came through
in my yoga practice. I have been practicing six days
a week because this is part of the requirements for
this teacher training program that I'm doing. I've been practicing
(01:54):
yoga since twenty fifteen, but I really fell off the
bandwagon in about twenty twenty when I got pregnant with
my daughter, and then when the world shut down, you know,
I kept practicing for the first trimester ish and then
in March when the world shut down. I even continued
practicing kind of in my living room even though we
couldn't go to yoga studios anymore where I was in California,
I continued to you know, move my practice forward, or
(02:17):
like at least date had a daily practice in my
living room. And that lasted for maybe a couple of weeks,
I don't really remember how long, but kind of slowly
it fell apart, and I realized that I was missing
the community, the group practice, and so I just fell
off the wagon of yoga practice.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
I was doing other things.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I was you know, walking or hiking really like light
hiking at that point in my pregnancy, and I did
keep trying to move my body, but I fell off
the train of yoga practice. And then you know, I
had one baby and another baby, and I won't belabor
the story, but essentially I just fell out of the
practice of working out altogether. I would still really try
(02:53):
to get outside. I would think a lot about you know,
sweating or getting my heart rate up, because that's just
something that's been in my daily reportory or for a
really long time. But for a long time I wasn't
really doing anything that's strenuous. I definitely wasn't doing a
yoga practice. I wasn't in the hot room. And so
coming back to this yoga teacher training has felt a
little bit like getting thrown into the deep end. And
(03:14):
I recorded a whole episode about being a beginner because
I really felt like when I came back to the
yoga studio, I really felt like a beginner all over again.
It was like flashbacks to twenty fifteen when I had
never been in a yoga class in my life and
I stepped in the studio and I remember the teachers saying,
you know, your whole goal in this class is just
to stay in the room. That's your whole goal is
just stay in the room. Because it's heated to depending
(03:35):
on your class, it's heated to like ninety eight degrees
up to somewhere like one hundred and four hundred and five.
So even just sitting in the room can be a
meditation for people and can get your heart rate up
and can make you feel a little claustrophobic at times.
And so I came back to the practice this year
got thrown into the deep end. I'm taking six classes
a week as part of this yoga teacher training, and
(03:56):
I have felt my body respond really quickly. I was
telling my husband how the poses come back almost like
riding a bike. Like I'm like, oh yeah, my body
knows what to do here. Being in the hot room
does not come back like that. I mean it has
over the course of the last six weeks or so.
It has come back to me and I'm like, oh, yeah, okay,
I remember this. We're doing this. But I've had several
(04:16):
moments in hot classes, especially the hot twenty six classes,
which are the ones that are heated up over one
hundred degrees, where I'll have a moment in the class
where i start to feel dizzy or lightheaded, and I'll
lay down on my mat, which is what you're instructed
to do, and I'll kind of lay there and be
like the thoughts in my head start running. I'm like, oh,
my gosh, this is I have to get out of here,
you know, I can't breathe.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
I have to get out.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I have to get some air, and I can focus
on slowing my breathing down and slowing my heart rate
and calming myself and almost like cooling myself from the
inside out by just being like, you're safe.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
You know your heart rate's coming down even as we speak,
and can control my breathing in that way, and I'm
able to stay in the room. Had these moments. The
whole point of telling this backstory is to say that
I've had these moments in class that feel like physically
it's too much for me. It's like pushing me beyond
my limits. And I'm either like in a posture or
(05:14):
sometimes I'm even laying on the ground and it's just
a matter of being in the hot room where on
the one hand, on the one side of things, I'm
saying to myself, this is too difficult. I cannot do this.
And then what happened for me in my practice today
is there was this other voice that came through that
is whatever you want to call it. It comes through
for me in yoga practice, which is one of the
(05:35):
reasons why I love yoga practice. But it also can
come through in prayer or meditation or reading a book
or journaling or anything else. Walking in nature. This voice
that comes through, and I'm sure you've had this experience
where you just have an intuition or an insight or
a wisdom You're like, that's whatever you want to call
it like, that's either God, that's my true self, it's
(05:57):
my higher self. Whatever you want to name that thing.
It's the Holy Spirit, whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
To call it.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
This thing that comes through that feels like it's higher
than me. It's higher than my small self. It's higher
than the part of me that says this is too hard,
I can't do this. And the insight that came through
for me today and my practice was this, It was
don't miss what the difficulty is here to give you.
And in fact, a couple of weeks ago, we did
(06:23):
a weekend part of the training. The teacher training includes
these long weekends where you go for eight to ten
hours on a Saturday and a Sunday, back to back,
and you're doing multiple things. You're sitting in class.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Learning about the anatomy or learning about the history of yoga.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
You're practicing the sequences and the scripts for the sequences
that you need to know as a teacher. You're doing
yoga practice with other people who are in the program.
And this particular weekend we did two really long hard
classes on a Saturday and then one hard class on
a Sunday. I was telling Matts, I was walking out
of the door on Saturday morning, He's like, are you excited?
(06:58):
Are you so excited for your training? And I'm like,
I am, and also I'm terrified. I literally felt like
a deer in headlights. I was like, I know, we
have to do this double today. We have to do,
you know, a long warmer class in the middle of
the day, and then in the evening we're going to
do an even longer hot class in the really hot room.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
And I was like, the heat is.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
What has been getting me, and so I'm nervous about
what my body is going to do when I'm in
that really hot room. And sure enough, you know, we
do the long hard class in the afternoon, and I
felt like I fared okay with that. It was still
really difficult, but I fared okay. And then in the
evening we do this super long it's a ninety minute
hot class in one hundred and four degree room. And
because there are so many of us in the teacher training,
(07:39):
there were like thirty plus people in the room, and
so the more bodies that are in the room, the
hotter it.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Gets in the room.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
So it was just even extra hot in the room,
and there was a point in that class where I
laid down on my mat and this is maybe kind
of like the peak experience that I've had in my
teacher training so far, where I laid down on my
mat and I I felt a part of me go like,
get out of here, get out of this room immediately,
like you're unsafe. It was like this voice in my
(08:06):
head that was like, you're unsafe. Your heart rates too high,
this is not good for you. And then there was
this other part of me that broke through that was like,
you can do this. Do not miss what the difficulty
is here to teach you, don't miss what it's here
to show you. And sure enough I stayed in the room.
I was fine, my heart rate was fine. I left
(08:26):
that room that night and felt like a massive, massive relief.
I've been going through a season of really deep grief.
I lost my dad last fall, I lost a baby
last fall. I have been in the depths of grief
(08:49):
and yoga across the board, but particularly that class has
given me these opportunities to almost move the energy through
my body, like move the grief through my body in
a way that doesn't always feel comfortable, but that after
the fact.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Is like, oh, like sweet relief.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
It's like a tension that was there in my body
before has left, and I could almost just sob like.
The release sometimes comes through tears, it sometimes comes through sweat,
it sometimes comes through like a feeling of shaking or
letting go, But the feeling afterwards is just like, oh,
sweet release, liberation, freedom. I feel like I let go
(09:26):
of something that was so heavy that I've been holding
on to for a really long time, and now it
feels like it's gone and I feel more confident. I
feel like, look, I did that. I'm so proud of myself.
I stayed in the room even when it was really hard.
And I want to delineate something here because I'll share
a few different examples of how this can move outside
of the yoga room. And I want to make sure
that I'm really clear on the fact that I don't
(09:47):
mean to stay in a situation that actually is unsafe
for you. And I think it can be difficult to
decipher between these two things, like which is my real
self talking or my true self which is my ego
self talking, which is my fear self talking, and which
is the higher self talking which is me talking, and
which is God talking. What's holy Spirit and what's not.
(10:09):
I think it can be hard to kind of pull
those things apart. And so, you know, when you're in
a situation where something's happening and you feel like, I
can't do this, this is too hard, I couldn't possibly
move through this. There is nothing wrong with taking a
break or backing off or you know, checking to see,
like if I were to get up and let's say,
leave the heated room in that moment, I don't think
(10:30):
that there would be anything inherently wrong with that. But
I had this higher, deeper, stronger sense, this other part
of me that was also present with me at the time,
that was like, yes, you can do this, Yes you
are safe, stay with yourself, breathe, you can slow down
your heart rate. And sure enough, when I was able
(10:52):
to stay with myself, I was able to slow down
my heart rate and I was perfectly safe the whole time.
And I think a lot of times we miss out
on our greatest potential, our greatest possibility, and even like
healing that wants to be handed to us, or even
receiving gifts that want to be given to us, because
we are unwilling to move through something we've told ourselves.
(11:15):
It's too challenging for us, it's too difficult, we can't
possibly do it. And actually I had the physical experience
of receiving in that moment I am strong enough to
do this. I am I can do this, And I
can't explain to you the shift in confidence that that
has given me. And I think that experience a couple
(11:35):
of weeks ago on that big weekend class where I
did that thing that I thought I couldn't do, and then,
you know, even one of the instructors afterwards told all
of us she said, I think that was one of
the top five most difficult classes I've ever been to.
And I've been through hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of
hours of teacher trainings. So like, good on you that
you guys did that. You stuck it out, you stayed
(11:56):
in the room, you did what you need to do,
you did your work, you know, and now you get
to receive all the benefits of that. So hearing that
from her was also really validating. It's like, yeah, that
was really challenging, it was really difficult. I did the
very best that I could do. I stayed in the room,
and I'm so proud of myself and I feel a
sense of groundedness and sturdiness and confidence now that I
can do anything, and that has carried with me, and
(12:20):
I think that's part of where this wisdom that came
through today and my practice was coming from that I'm
in a pose, my whole body's shaking, I'm sweating everywhere.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
I'm feeling like, oh, this is so hard.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
You know, I can't do this, And then this higher
wisdom comes through and says, don't miss, don't miss what
this difficulty is wanting to give you. That feeling afterwards
where you walk out of the room and you have
confidence and you feel sturdy and you know you're strong.
And also the release, the feeling of freedom, the liberation
that comes on the other side of doing the actual
(12:55):
work of just doing it, of staying in the room
is so powerful that I almost was just in tears
this morning thinking about this. It's like this concept of
don't miss the gift that this difficulty wants to give you.
And immediately when my practice was over, I was thinking
about how the supplies outside of the yoga room and
(13:16):
in my life. I immediately started thinking about the last
five years of difficulty that I've been in which I
have talked about at length on this podcast, and I
will not get into it in this episode. Feel free
if you're new here to go back and catch up
and listen to old episodes. Last season, in particular, I
unpacked the whole story from start to finish, and maybe
belabored the point a little bit too much, but it's
(13:38):
a good example of how I have been in resistance
and in struggle with this whole unfolding experience. And it
all happened exactly as it was meant to happen, and
I don't hold any give it over my head, you know,
I'm not holding myself like I don't have any regret
or guilts necessarily about how it all unfolded.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
But it's I.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Can see differently now than I could see back then.
I see the story differently than I was able to
see it back then.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
And this is a.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Telltale marker that you are the hero of the story
and you're experiencing your transformation. Is when you begin to
see the story differently. And now that I look back
over the course of the last five years, I'm beginning
to see, Wow, I didn't want to receive or wasn't
capable maybe of fully receiving the gifts that my difficulties
wanted to give me over the last five years, and
(14:27):
so instead I was in headstrong resistance with the difficulties
as they arose. Difficulties would come up and I would think, Oh,
this can't be happening, this is so dumb, this is unfair,
this shouldn't be this way. And those phrases that I
just used, I think are signs that you're in resistance
with the difficulty that is in front of you. And
(14:50):
those feelings are also legitimate and they're fair, and they
were feelings that I was having at the time, and
I give myself permission for that. And also now as
I'm moving through this season, I'm able to see it
from a higher place. I'm able to see it from
a different vantage point. And again, this is the telltale
mark of moving through your story and becoming the hero
and transforming along that narrative arc, is that from this place,
(15:15):
I'm able to see things a little bit differently, and
I look back now and go, oh, I or almost
like she doing this. And the third person is really
helpful when you think about yourself as the hero of
the story, because you are the narrator now you're the
transformed hero, and so you're not that same person you
were back then. So I can almost look back and go.
She that girl back there was in such resistance to
(15:38):
the difficulty that was in front of her. She could
not fully receive it. She could not stay in the room.
She didn't have it then to do that, to say
to herself, I'm going to stay in the room no
matter what. I'm going to stay in the room. She
just didn't have it to give. And that's okay. But
now I look back and go if she could fully
receive the difficulty, maybe the difficulty has something it wants
(16:01):
to show her. Maybe it has something it wants to
tell her. Maybe the difficulty has something it wants to
give you. Maybe it wants to give you a sweet release.
Maybe it wants to give you freedom. Maybe it wants
to give you peace. Oh, maybe it wants to give
you relief. Oh wouldn't that be so wonderful if the
difficulty wanted to give you relief? And what would it
(16:23):
look like for you to surrender to the difficulty, to
allow the difficulty to be there? Because this is the
absurdity of this, as you really think about it, that
the difficulty is not going anywhere, at least in my
set of circumstances.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
My resistance to.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
The difficulty never made the difficulty go away. It put
me outside of reality at times, like I was in
such resistance to the challenges I was facing that I
had to almost pretend that it wasn't real. I had
to like disconnect and to try to pretend like, this
isn't happening this way, This couldn't possibly be happening. This
couldn't happen to us, It couldn't happen to me. And
(17:01):
I think, you know, as much as that numbed the
pain from a momentary sense, it actually prolonged the pain
from a larger sense, from a higher sense. And looking
back now, I can see that if I could have
surrendered to the pain earlier, if I could have surrendered
to the difficulty earlier, maybe I would have had relief earlier.
Maybe I would have had a breakthrough earlier. Maybe I
(17:25):
could have received the gifts that my difficulty was trying
to offer me. But I wasn't capable of doing that
back then. That's okay, I give myself permission for that.
I wasn't ready. I'm ready now I have a sturdiness
now to fully receive whatever it is that this challenge
wants to offer me. And another thing that came to
(17:45):
mind as I was thinking about this concept is I
went immediately back to ten years ago. Twenty fifteen was
when I left my abusive marriage and filed for divorce
and went through one of the darkest times of my life.
(18:06):
This actually, ironically coincided with my introduction to yoga. I
started going to yoga in September of twenty fifteen, and
no surprise, no coincidence, also left my marriage in November
of twenty fifteen and got divorced in twenty sixteen. So
this is almost ten years ago now. But when I
look back, I'm like, oh, there's no coincidence here that
(18:27):
I started going to yoga class. I was a total beginner.
I didn't know what I was doing. I gained the confidence,
the sturdiness, the steadiness to receive my difficulty that was
in front of me. And once I had the sturdiness
to do that, I did it and I left. I
did something that up until then I had not been
capable to do. I literally didn't have it in me.
(18:49):
I didn't have the skills. I didn't have the strength.
I didn't have the confidence. I didn't have any of it.
I didn't have the voice to leave. And as soon
as I started to acquire those things, I was able
to make the choice that I had known for a
really long time that I needed to make. And So
when I think back on that time, especially on the
(19:09):
marriage that I lived through, knowing what I know now,
if I could go back to twenty twelve when I
got married, I would never have married this person. I
would never have been interested in him. I would never
have married him. I would never have stayed married beyond
our wedding day, because things got infinitely worse after our
wedding day. I would never have stayed married. I would
have left immediately. There are so many things I can
(19:31):
think of now that I would have done back then
if I had known, But I just didn't know. I
didn't have the skills. I didn't have the strength, I
didn't have the tools, I didn't have the vision, I
didn't have the wisdom. I wasn't mature enough, and so
I stayed in that situation. And I would never recommend
that anyone stay in a difficulty like that, especially if
you're in a place where you're unsafe physically or emotionally unsafe,
(19:54):
where you don't feel like you have a voice, or
you don't feel like you're heard. And yet the wild
thing to me, and don't misunderstand me here, but I
just want to say, the wild thing to me is
that now I look back and say that difficulty that
I faced wanted to give me something. It wanted to
give me gifts. And it wasn't until I became confident
(20:15):
enough and strong enough to receive the gifts that the
difficulty wanted to give me that I was able to
take them in and leave the relationship. So I'm not saying,
please don't mishear me. I'm not saying stay in a
difficult situation to receive the difficulty. If you have the
power to leave, then by all means leave the difficult situation.
But there are also difficulties in front of many of
(20:36):
us that we do not have the power to leave,
or at least not immediately. And if you're in a
difficult situation where you don't have the power to leave,
I wonder if it might be helpful to think about
this metaphor of staying in the room. Can you stay
in the room with the difficulty long enough for it
to give you the gifts that it wants to give you.
(20:56):
All of us are in a period of time in
history right now where there are a lot of difficulties
in front of us. There if nothing else, if you
want to just call it chaos, there's a lot of
chaos unfolding in the world in front of us. And
you know, if you've been around here for a while,
you know I don't talk about politics much on this show.
I've recorded maybe one episode where I shared a small
(21:18):
little glimpse into my political ideologies.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
So this is not political.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
But no matter who you are, no matter where you live,
no matter how you vote, no matter what part of
the country you're in, or maybe you're out of the country,
maybe you don't live in the US, is what I mean.
Wherever you are, we are up against, especially those who
live in the US, are up against some major difficulties.
And I wonder what it would look like for us
to flip the script on ourselves just a little bit
(21:44):
and think about this period of time through the lens
of what does this difficulty want to give us? What
are the gifts that this difficulty wants to give us?
And This can be inflammatory because I'm not saying that
it's good that we're in this position. I'm not saying
that I'm glad. I'm not saying yay, you know that
(22:05):
the entire governmental system is falling apart or being like
systematically dismantled.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Rather, I'm not saying any of that.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I'm saying, what would it look like to look at
this period of time through the lens of I'm in
the room. I don't have the power to leave the
room right now, or if I do, if you do
have the power to leave the room, then by all means,
please leave the room. But if you are like me
and you don't have the power to quote unquote leave
the room right now, can you stay in the room
(22:33):
and stay with your breath and see what this difficulty
wants to offer you, See what this challenge wants to
show you to receive the gifts that it wants to
give you, to become the kind of person who can
rise above this challenge. And Marian Williamson I was listening
to what she shared on Instagram the other day. I
really have been trying to stay off of Instagram because
it's really unsettling and hard to take in and yet
(22:55):
I've been kind of taking it in and SIPs and doses.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
And I love what Marianne Williamson.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Said about it's not always about what's happening to you.
It's the way she said it, It's about who you
choose to be in the space of what's happening to you.
And I've been asking myself, who do I choose to
be in the space of what's.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Happening to me?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
And I'm asking that on a personal level and on
a collective level, because I'm going through some personal difficulties
right now that I do not have the power to
shift or change. I have put every ounce of effort,
every resource, everything I know how to do behind changing
and fixing this problem, and I do not have what
(23:35):
it takes to fix it. And so all I can
do right now is receive the problem. That's all I
can do. I can receive the difficulty and receive the
benefits that the difficulty wants to give me. Now, does
the difficulty also give me pain?
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Does it also bring up fear, Yes, that fear is
coming up to be resolved. Does it also bring me
discomfort yes? Does it also make me sad? Yes, that
sadness is coming up to be resolved, to literally leave
my body, to give me freedom and liberation to come
up and out. And if I wasn't facing these challenges,
(24:13):
then there wouldn't be the opportunity for that thing to
leave my body.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Imagine this.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Imagine that sadness is living in your body. It's living there,
it's already in there. And if you just move through
your life unscathed, which nothing wrong with that, but if
you just kind of bop through life, then there's no
opportunity for those things to come out, you know, the
traumas from our childhood, the trauma that's been passed down
(24:38):
to us from generations prior to us. There's no opportunity
for these things to come up and out unless they're triggered,
unless we bump up against something that makes us kind
of go oh yeah, oh, that's there, ooh, and then
we move through it and then it leaves, and then
we're liberated. So I want to offer this to you.
This is what I'm doing in my personal life, and
(24:58):
it's also what I'm doing is I think about the
collective and the difficulty we're moving through as a collective,
because there's kind of two ways that my ego self,
for my small self or I don't know, false self,
however you want to say it wants to deal with
the political landscape as it stands. One way is to
panic and to do all the things I'm seeing people
(25:20):
on Instagram say to do, like quit, get your documents
in order, and make a go bag and get your kids' passports,
and those things are fine to do, and I may
also do some of them. But there's one kind of
energy of like panic, this is bad, you know, get
ready for the world to completely fall apart. And then
there's another energy that's like just ignore, just pretend like
(25:43):
none of this is happening, and that's how we're going
to survive. Just kind of shut yourself off, don't pay
attention to anything, you know, just live in La la land,
put your head in the clouds, just go to your
yoga class, you know, just focus on your family. Which again,
like on both sides of those things, there are hearts
of that that you could pull out and go like
that's actually probably a good thing, Like maybe make a
(26:03):
go bag, maybe keep some food on hand, maybe get
a generator, you know, and then also like yeah, maybe
focus on your family. Maybe focus on your community. That
might be a great thing to do during this time.
And also there's a higher picture, there's a higher voice,
there's a different way of seeing this that's from a
broader perspective that says, there's something in this for us.
(26:28):
This is an opportunity to rise to the occasion. This
is a moment where you get to choose are you
going to step into your higher self or are you
going to stay small. It's a moment where you get
to decide who what type of person do I want
to be inside of this environment? What are my values?
How am I going to show up for myself and
for my neighbors and for my family. Am I going
to align myself with evil and corruption and chaos and.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
You know, calamity?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Or am I going to align myself with integrity? Am
I going to align myself with kindness? Am I going
to align myself with generosity? Am I going to be
the kind of person who stays calm in the midst
of a crisis? I had an old yoga teacher. This
just came to my mind. I love this saying. One
of my original teachers, who I learned so much from,
(27:17):
used to say, be the kind of person who someone
wants to call in a crisis. I don't know why
that makes me feel emotional. I want to be the
kind of person who other people want to call in
a crisis. I think one of the reasons that makes
me feel some feelings is I think about the people
in my life who I know I can call in
a crisis.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
My dad was one of those people. My dad had
a lot of flaws.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
My dad and I disagreed about a lot of different things,
and we were somewhat estranged for the last years of
his life. But my dad was the type of person
who you want to call in a crisis. He was
the type of person who would stay calm no matter what.
One of my dear friends, Betsy, is the type of
person you want to call in a crisis. My friend
Beth the type of person who you pick up the
phone in the middle of the night when the world
(28:00):
is falling apart, and you know that just hearing their
voice on the other end of the line is going
to make you feel better, more grounded, more secure. The
type of person who just knows what to say, and
you know what, every single person I know who moves
like that through the world is someone who has the
benefit of doing that. They have the strength. It didn't
come from nowhere. It wasn't just like immediately given to them.
(28:23):
People have the strength because they've faced hardship and they've
received the difficulty. They've received the gifts that difficulty has
to give them. Every single person I know who's the
kind of person who you would call in a crisis
has that quality because they have received the gifts that
difficulty has to offer them. And I want to be
that kind of person. I want to be the kind
(28:43):
of person who can take it in and move it through,
and who can keep my two feet on the ground
when there's a crisis, and who can stay in alignment
with my values even when the entire world around me
feels like it's out of alignment with what I see
to be true. I know it's not true that the
whole world is, but sometimes it feels like that inside
of the chaos. And so whether it's personal chaos that
(29:06):
you're facing, or whether it's collective chaos and you're looking
around at the US government and economy and whatever's happening,
just wild stuff happening in the USA right now. So
whether it's that or whether it's personal stuff. Whether your
finances are a mess or your relationship's a mess, you
don't know if you're going to stay or go or
get divorced, or work on your marriage or go to therapy,
(29:27):
like whatever it is that you're facing. Are you able
to receive the difficulty and receive the gifts that the
difficulty wants to offer you? Can you become the kind
of person who someone would call in a crisis. Can
you stay in the room. Can you stay in the
room and focus on your breath. You have the power
to slow down your heart rate if you focus on
(29:48):
your breathing.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
And if you.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Focus only on the problem, you lose the power to
slow your heart rate. If you focus only on the problem,
you lose the ability to take in the gifts that
the problem wants to offer you. Am I saying this
is easy? No Am I saying I have it figured out.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
No?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Am I saying that this is without discomfort? No Am
I saying that there won't be moments where I still
want to numb out or check out, or moments where
I want to panic.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
No.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
What I'm saying is I want to begin to look
at the difficulties in my life through the lens of
what's the gift that this difficulty wants to offer me.
This is not cheap toxic positivity, It is not This
takes real courage. This is not just rainbow washing and
going like things are great. Actually, toxic positivity is the
(30:36):
one side of that coin that I was telling you
about where there's two sides. One wants to panic and
the other one wants to pretend like everything's fine. That's
toxic positivity, and toxic positivity is the other side of
the panic coin. So they're the same energy just flipped around.
That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm not talking
about just being like it's you know, life is horrible,
(30:57):
but it's all good because it's giving me gifts. It's like,
can we breathe in the gift of this time? Can
you breathe in the gift of this difficulty. This is
not for the faint of heart. It takes a tremendous
amount of courage. I feel like I'm barely tasting it
and think I owe it to yoga, my yoga practice.
(31:19):
I'm so grateful to be back in this practice and
whatever it is for you that gives you access to
this vantage point. Please do not falter on these rituals
and routines at this time. If it's meditation for you,
if it's prayer, if it's journaling, if it's church, if
it's you know, meeting with a mentor, if it's therapy,
if it's pharmaceuticals, like if you are taking a anti
(31:41):
anxiety or antidepressant, and that is giving you this groundedness,
whatever it is for you, that's giving you access to
the real you. The higher you, the stronger you, the
more confident you. Whatever is giving you access to the
God that runs the universe, or that like is the
origin of all things. Whatever gives you that hold on
(32:03):
to that during this time, because we're all gonna need it.
I'm in this with you. I love you, I'm sending
you so much love, and I will be back with
you next week on the Write Your Story podcast
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